#can he not for five minutes

[peakvincent]

new game is to type one through ten in your tags and see what comes up. i think my favorite of mine is ‘my uncle told us he spent seven and a half hours in a sensory deprivation tank once’ but ‘gideon the ninth motherfucker’ is a close second

#one is that bad laptops can still handle custom content #two stupid old men who i lovehate :( #goddamn it i wish the three funniest women alive would tell me what i just saw #the f in rpf stands for fourth wall #ten pounds of trauma in a five pound bag #me and alice will both read it and i think that brings you up to like six!!! #my uncle told us he spent seven and a half hours in a sensory deprivation tank once #goal was one book per store and we ended up with six stores and eight books which actually i think is fine #gideon the ninth motherfucker #thinking about the ten inexplicable minutes where jay and i were very in on brandon saad/roberto luongo #*

[p4nishers]

can't believe tom hiddleston ACTUALLY interrupted the interviewer to say "one last thing, i think mobius is loki's friend and i don't think loki has ever had a friend before" like king. i love how u felt the need to add that truly

#he's so PASSIONATE about them oh my god like im sorry but w sylki he was literally STRUGGLING to put sentences together and get his meaning #across but with loki he's literally just. rambling for a full five minutes barely taking a breath like he's so likes them together SO much #him interrupting the interviewer after half of a minute was so funny like u can see he's not paying any attention he needs to get this one #little thing in and what he says is just so sweet and i really love how he emphasis that mobius is loki's first friend basically every time #he talks about them bc he knows how very important this relationship is to loki and he wants to get that across. bbg always pulling thru for #us he's a real one #loki season 2 #loki series #mobius m mobius #lokius #loki #tom hiddleston

[thatswhatsushesaid]

psa that the day there are no jgy stans left on tumblr dot com is the day i am dead

but rest assured i'll go to my grave exactly as i lived: obnoxiously proclaiming to everyone within earshot how great lianfang-zun is. narratively, metaphorically, spiritually. sexually, too, like why limit myself. i like to keep my options open

#the spirit of su minshan possessed me for a minute there but like. i'm fine with it #jin guangyao #he did crimes??? good for him 😌 #editing this post to add that while the tone here is clearly joking #i really am fundamentally still engaged with this fandom #and with this book #almost exlcusively because of my enjoyment of jgy #even xiyao is secondary for me like i love it and i'm ride or die for it obvs #but jgy as a character is the main draw for me. and he would have me by the throat even if there was no zewu-jun #(tho i think jgy's life would be more depressing for his absence obviously) #but he is just. /clenches my fists!!! #THE most compelling character in the story and i cannot stop thinking about him!! cannot will not!! #who else in this book has his range? who else can be the doe-eyed idealist AND the spy with blood on his hands who ends a war? #who else is two different greek tragedies and at least two separate shakespearean tragedies rolled into one antagonist #an antagonist who but for the POV of the novel could very easily have been the protagonist #whose moral event horizon is so deeply entwined with his own trauma and abuse that there is no way to meaningfully separate #the violence he does to others from the systemic violence that was done to him for his whole life? #who else in this book manages to get five separate sect leaders utterly obsessed with him no matter how you choose #to interpret that obsession? #no one!!! that's who!! #ain't no one else in the jianghu doing it like lianfang-zun and that's just a goddamn fact

[pencildragons]

still insanely funny to me that ortus nigenad has canonically written 18 volumes of epic poetry about a bodyguard who was, in fact, Just Some Guy, and regularly quotes himself out loud in conversations on the regular. man had to die at the start of gtn because he was too fucking powerful to live

#ive been sitting here for like. a solid five fucking minutes trying to come up with a good comparison irl and i Cannot #like imagine if your bodyguard wrote what is basically a huge love song to your great great x10 grandparent's bodyguard and then #he just kept quoting himself in conversations #and then in the weird heaven afterlife you're using as the backdrop of a hallucinated memory sequence to justify the brain surgery you gave #yourself so you could forget the most important person in your life bc she killed herself for you #and you Cannot Conceive Of A Universe Without Her In It #and the dude the bodyguard wrote love songs about in question turns up and is like 'well i was kinda average actually #but thanks to the power of YOUR love songs i can now bend the rules of this liminal space to my will and beat this eldritch monster' #like dude what the fuck #ortus nigenad #harrowhark nonagesimus #tlt #tlt spoilers #htn spoilers #the locked tomb #gideon the ninth #harrow the ninth #griddlehark #it wasnt in the post but i had griddlehark Feelings in the tags so #words of wyrm

[soledadcatalina]

[id: 2 rough sketches of kim kitsuragi and his parents. the first sketch is kim putting on his orange bomber jacket while his dad, commenting casually while reading a newspaper, says "wearing that jacket would've gotten you shot in '09." the second sketch features both of kims parents, his dad saying "Our son has always been [asterisk]different from most boys." kim's mom replies: "Not that it was a bad thing!" a thought bubble beside kim's dad simply reads: "[asterisk] autistic", while a thought bubble beside kim's mom reads: "[asterisk] gay". /end id]

keeping it too real

#disco elysium #kim kitsuragi #casetrippy does art #image description #his dad is autistic too but he wouldnt call it that #five minute sketches before bed NOW i can go to sleep #kitsuragi posting

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

thinking about Eddie & hyacinths again

#as you can surmise im Perfectly Normal about it #this man doesnt make me insane at all. nope. #trying out some new coloring and texture and background things... #on a side note. and i say this so lovingly bc theyre my favorite flowers #FUCK DRAWING HYACINTHS ALL MY HOMIES HATE DRAWING HYACINTHS #that was hell on earth. #ANYWAY THIS DUDE IS NEAT I HOPE HE DIES #nah im jesting im Jesting. am i tho #dead or alive i want him to experience unimaginable horrors and then die ten times and come back Normal #bc eddie strikes me as a 'dying would fix them' character #whether its a real death or a perceived death or Youve Been Dead The Whole Time death dont care dont care #i need him dead on the ground for at leeeaaaast five minutes #id be frothing at the fucking mouth. ragh #scribble garnish #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #eddie dear #originally this was gonna be a Very bloody little piece #but then my brain went 'hey. symbolism. what if the blood was flower petals. from hyacinths' #and ohhhh i couldnt pass that up #i wish i did! i would have had a lot more fun drawing a gruesome injury rather than Those Damn Flowers! #i dont know why ive latched onto the hyacinths outside the post office but my brain wont let go #ITS JUST SO SPECIFIC. why why whyyyyyy put that specific flower by this specific guy #especially flowers with Those Meanings and That Myth #*violently shaking the site* WHAT DO YOU MEANNNNNN #ok im getting myself too worked up i need to touch grass or poke the fire

[canisalbus]

Something about seeing a nude Machete curled up on the bed with his butt by the pillows brings me so much joy. I can only imagine how content and safe he must be feeling in that moment, and I say good for him. He's earned it.

.

#let the potato rest for five minutes #thank you! that's such a lovely thing to say #answered #anonymous #no he isn't comfortable naked this isn't a common thing #but under particularly favorable circumstances person's defenses can break down a lot

[neuvifuri]

crazier than ever about neuvifuri btw

#genshin spoilers #in the tags #he watched his partner of 500 years kill herself (both furina putting her hand in the water and focalors actually succeeding #focalors and furina are individual enough to be considered different people #but also close enough that their relationship with neuvillette is inextricably connected #i don’t think you can rightly say he has this relationship with one and that with the other IMO #focalors he knew for like five minutes and furina 500 years; his opinions of one are going to color his opinions of the other #because they are the same person they’re also not :) #genshin impact #neuvillette #furina #focalors #<- gonna keep a separate tag for her i think #mine💫 #neuvifuri #neuvalors #focalette #focallette

[thesoftestmess]

this might not be canon, but personally i need furina to struggle a whole lot longer and harder with post-prophecy depression and mental illness. She's played the same tiring and painful act for five centuries, was constantly in a life or death scenario and had to hide her true self from the world the entire time and she won't just recover in a few years from that.

There's parts of her that will never ever be compatible with a simple human lifestyle, and parts of her that are irreparably broken. She isn't sure of her personality after everything that happened and the lie she had to live. She slips between personas and her archon temperament comes through like a defensive mechanism at any sign of conflict or trouble.

She's plagued by nightmares. Of the flood, of the trial, of the people closest to her conspiring against her behind her back, and of being found out in a million terrible ways. Of saying the wrong thing, making a wrong decision. Of being found out, of being found out, of being found out.

Lying or keeping a secret feels existential still. Being honest still feels life threatening sometimes. Putting herself first feels like putting both hands on a hot stove.

She doesn't live in the palais anymore, doesn't have to sit through trials anymore, but her heart and soul are still there. In her dreams she's still at the place she spent her entire life's memories at.

Yes, she can make new memories, but it'll take time. More time than she has, maybe, now that she's the closest to being human she'll ever be.

She'll never be human in the way the people around her are.

What sort of human has 500 years worth of memories after all? What human tells personal anecdotes and mixes up their centuries?

What sort of human can feel the absence of their divinity like it's a physical thing? A voice that will never speak to her again, or keep her alive? What human has no family, no childhood?

What human remembers so little, but still remembers death somewhere deep within?

She jerks out of sleep from it sometimes, gasping for air, and spends the rest of the night awake, almost frozen by fear. The flood is over, but it's hard to convince her racing heart that the danger is too.

Humans have entire family trees that go generations back, but Furina was put into this world a solitary creature, her blood heavy with sin ever since she turned human.

She owns a hydro vision now and doesn't know how to yield it, but the ocean still calls out to her some days. Sea creatures flock to her like they can smell she's not human enough.

She learns how to make little hydro companions for herself, so the darkness and emptiness of her apartment feels less ominous when she lies awake at night.

She can't turn her vision into a weapon quite yet, but when it rains the droplets seem to cling to her. She's watched them roll upwards along her arm, watched them gather in her palm like kin. She wonders if sea creatures flock to neuvillette in a similar way, or if his immense power makes them recoil. She wonders if elemental dragons can feel regret. Wonders if he, too, ever feels entirely foreign in that human body he was given. If he, too, lies awake trying to grasp faint memories of a past life.

She's extremely human in the way she's plagued by body pains from not being able to relax just one day in five centuries. The years catch up with her once she gets out of survival mode, and fatigue is a constant companion now. Sleep comes difficultly and getting out of bed was easier when the fate of a whole nation depended on it. On her. She's never lived for just herself before and some days she's not sure she wants to.

She did her duty and earned her retirement and the story turned out well, all things considered. She still has people by her side, some of them.

Still, she feels raw and tired and overwhelmed by the life lying ahead of her. As a human and as someone who will always be Something Else.

#you can have your perfectly competent fully healed hyper independent furina #if i can have my mess of a person multiply-disordered and trying her best furina #like i'm sorry but this babygirl can fit sooooo much ptsd and depression and personality disorder into her #that's a girl with lifelong chronic pain from not being allowed to relax for a day in five centuries #that's a girl who needs a teeth protector at night because she'd grind he #*them into a fine powder from all the tension she still holds #that's someone who gets so low so suddenly and loes all her joy in the matter of minutes #that's someone who wants to catch up on a lifetime of being human but is bone-deep exhausted #and crushed by fatigued #my disability beam went all over her like neuv's water gun #now she's sopping wet and shivering i'm sorry #genshin impact #furina #fari talks fic

[daylighteclipsed]

killing mnyseld

#oh the forbidden expressions !!!! I’m gonna puke !!!! #‘riku I’m scared ! what if a shooting star hits the islands?’ #’if a shooting star comes this way I’ll knock it right back into outer space ! I’ll protect you i promise’ !!!! #kingdom hearts #soriku #sora’s expression oh my go d oh my god #weakly raising his hand a silent plea that is so loud #he has to be so fu cked up from this #this specifically but also watching all of his friends die in less than five minutes #all the people he was supposed to protect. everybody was counting on him to be their hero #and he couldn’t stop any of them from being killed. rapidly. right in front of him #he barely had time to react like oh. my god what a horrible horrible horrible feeling #andd then the last friend left - riku - dies for him. and sora can only sit there paralyzed #ohhhhh. oh. god. i know this fucked him up good

[royboyfanpage]

I'm never gonna be over Donna's photo album actually

#hhhh #donna troy #roy harper #garth #wally west #dick grayson #the titans #I've been staring at Roy and Donna particularly for like... five minutes straight #they're so pretty #when the two hottest mfs in your friend group are dating #also obsessed with garth in these #teaching Lian how to swim #letting Roy shoot an apple off his head #and the fact he drinks from cans with a straw #and wally playing table tennis with himself is such a mood #I'd fs be doing that if i had superspeed #plus eepy dick

[veveisveryuncool]

art trade with @starflungwaddledee :]]

been itching to draw morpho dee for a while actually, so he was super fun to experiment with! did a ton of metal and perspective practice, as well tinkering with a new rendering method :D

#UAGSHAH every tim i see him i have to stop and think about him for five minutes straight #hes so tragic and narratively doomed and just 😭😭 #fandom loves to put the tiny apple guy through the blender huh #my soul weeps for him 💔 you go fallen hero of heart!! you can do it!! #kirby series #bandana dee #morpho dee #veves ultra cool art #art trade

[sirhinkjinks]

riddler thought the new robin was 16

#dc #tim drake #robin #riddler #edward nygma #batman #the other robin was short too you can understand the confusion #riddler's just pissed off his riddle doesn't work anymore #anyway they have 21 minutes to solve five riddles on a baseball field or robin explodes #or something #he gets more pissed when bruce just lets tim do the entire thing in under 10 #dennis doodles #dennis comics

[bigskyandthecoldgun]

imagine eddie’s out of work because reefer rick got put away for good, and rick kept such a tight lid on his own supplier that eddie has no clue where to buy from now. he’s applied to a couple of jobs, but nobody’s gotten back to him yet. thankfully, his saving grace comes in the form of a flyer for someone seeking a babysitter.

enter single dad steve, who just needs someone to watch his five kids (and occasionally the miracle baby hopper-byers twins from nextdoor, because they’re best friends with his kids and refuse to be separated from them for longer than twelve hours) for a couple hours while he takes a much-needed nap every few days. he can’t keep asking their auntie robin and auntie vickie, after all. even if they’re more than willing to watch them, steve feels like it’s too big of an ask without payment, which they refuse to accept. and if the babysitter that responds to his flyer just so happens to be a very attractive guy whose guitar-playing and d&d skills are enough to captivate said children’s collective attention for those hours, well…that’s just an added bonus.

#steve’s immensely jealous of joyce and hopper because they have children who can go unsupervised for more than ten minutes at a time #make that five actually dustin and lucas’ science experiments have DEFINITELY lit the kitchen on fire in that amount of time #eddie’s never been one to back down from a challenge but. Oh What A Challenge It Is #poor steve just needs like. two more hours of sleep. which is probably the same amount he gets each night #stranger things #eddie munson #steve harrington #steddie #steve x eddie #robin buckley #vickie stranger things #robin x vickie #stranger things au #my prompt ! #feel free to use it tbh i’d love to see it

[stevieharringtonwifeguy]

steve, robin, chrissy, and nancy starting a band together. each have their own kind of more classical musical training with robin being in marching band and steve, chrissy, and nancy all having Rich People Music Lessons as children, but everyone's shocked when they decide to turn that talent towards a punk band called Baby and the Girls

and they start off kind of small, with their Gimmick being the disconnect between their more prep/normie visual aesthetic and the angry, violent tone of their music. steve's the singer (he has a lovely voice, kind of warm and croony until he really starts screaming), chrissys the drummer (she's so tiny you can barely see her behind that thing), nancys the bassist (solid, dependable, gets a little smile on her face whenever she's got a particularly sexy baseline bc she knows the bass is what makes a song a fuck song), and robins on guitar (and keyboard, and violin, and one time an accordion which is still her favourite song to perform. basically whatever other instrument the song calls for she's got it)

and they get kind of a following not just for their angry music criticising the government and society and the like, but also because of how unabashedly queer they are. chrissy/nancy/robin have all visibly flirted with each other during concerts and no one's quite sure what the deal is there. steve performs like 75% of their shows in full drag as Baby (hence the band name) and winks flirtatiously at both male and female audience members alike

eventually they get Real Big, and get signed to an actual record label. despite knowing how queer they were before signing them, it's still like the early 90s so the label makes them tone it down a bit. song lyrics get a little more ambiguous (but not if you actually like. listen to them. i mean steve sings about eating a wide variety of fruits and vegetables in a way that like. We All Know What The Peach Is Steven), steve's not allowed to perform in drag anymore (although he does lose a suspicious amount of bets whose forfeits 'force' him to perform in a dress. new fans are baffled at how bad this guy is at bets), and the band name has to change, becoming Stevie and the Girls (the label wanted it to just be 'steve' but they compromised)

and over the course of their career, at some point they end up on a talk show with the Other Band From Hawkins, corroded coffin. the host is clearly angling for a punk/metal standoff, maybe Known Non-conformist eddie munson will call them posers for wearing so many pastel colours, or since everyone knows that steve chris and nancy at least used to be pretty popular in high school maybe there's some lasting high school drama to up their ratings

and yeah, their ratings skyrocket for that episode, but only bc steve and eddie reveal they've been dating since 1987

#i'll be honest i know it's not historically accurate to The Scene at the time but they're mcr. also stevie writes Rebel Girl for eddie #steddie #steve harrington #stranger things #chrissy cunningham #nancy wheeler #robin buckley #idk if there's a ship name for the three of them but that's what they're doing #when they were coming up with band names steve suggested Fourth Wheel bc that's what he was #but chris and nancy pointed out that stobin has Relationship Priority like if they were all hanging out steve is def not left out #he and robin share a brain how can you be fourth wheeling her relationship #and stobin was like okay. fair. #so now they're Baby And The Girls #so named bc eddie came to a rehearsal once and in greeting them went BABY!!!! 🥰😊💖 #and then after covering steve's face in squishy kisses regained his composure and did what WOULD have been a very smooth 'girls.' #had it not been preceded by five minutes of smooches #eddie munson

[melancholiaenthroned]

i think my favourite thing about malevolent is that john and arthur are both genuinely awful to be with. theyre not bickering like an old married couple they would straight up be ripping out each others hair and rolling around on the ground if they didnt share a body and didnt have to worry about alerting the creatures. arthur will die on literally any hill and said hill does not need to be consistent with any past or future beliefs. john has no issue with bringing up the most off limits shit imaginable to try and win/just make arthur look worse than him in any given situation. both of them are always hypocrites. arthur should threaten to cut off johns arm next and john should be like wow thats fucked up will you eat it too? since you love the taste of human flesh so much?

#you cant two body truth them because theyd be sweet for five minutes get in a massive fight and realize they can actually walk away #and then theyd never speak to each other again. #poison.txt #malevolent #only on s3 btw so if he does end up threatening to cut off the arm at some point im not there yet!!