#but yeah idk its just been wack i hope having my days off will get me out of it but i just feel funky as shit (not good style) i think it's

[leieryx]

Hey! I’m really sorry things aren’t going to well for you right now. I wanted to tell you that you’re really cool, I love being mutuals with you!

Here’s a motivational Senshi! It’s gonna be okay, I promise!

thank you so much i know i didnt answer when you posted this i havent answered much but it mean t a lot :] thumbs up!

#asks #woo yippe hi mututal :] #i love the senshi victory it's pretty iconic #lei talks?!? #you can tell when im on the computer cause it forces my tags to be sensible #but yeah idk its just been wack i hope having my days off will get me out of it but i just feel funky as shit (not good style) i think it's #just the season. i didnt wanna go on in the tags so im deleting em but #my friend i havent seen in months also texted me about her girlfriend and idk how to interpret that like id love to have yo #you back in my life but. why are we opening with this. and i dont know how to respond without sounding like a jerk lol #i think that's what was bothering me when i posted that im not totally sure. it's like the little things this week really. #ill be chill and fine i just have to complain first haha

[spongebob-connoisseur]

you've likely answered this but do you own any spongebob merch?

Actually no I haven't ever gotten an ask like this! Surprisingly ain't it?

Ahh yess I've been waiting my whole life for this. I actually feel a little embarrassed since it's a lot. But anyways I'll let ya look at my wall of shame™

Due to SB's decline in popularity over the past 10 years its been getting harder and harder to find merchandise unless you got it from online. So because of that, I have a large stack of spongebob stickerbooks/activity books/coloring books. Anyone got suggestions as to what to use the stickers for?

There's stuff I found second hand which is a SB tv, dvd player, clock, and that phone. The tv didn't work before but now I got it to work.

A LOT of plushies. Coolbob with the shades, the infamous farting spongebob plushie, also a cutie patootie heart shaped spongebob plushie just to name a few. Some plushies I got when I was a patient at a children's hospital. Since sometimes they'd give ya stuff and I'd only pick SB. Those are really old and beat up now but I still adore them.

Tho my favorite is an invincibubble plush because the 2nd movie is my all time favorite. I got that second hand.

I have like 3 mugs for some reason? 1st one was a gift from long ago tho it chipped so I use it as a paint cup. The 2nd one I found that's shaped as spongebob. Its too cute to use. 3rd is a Mrs. Puff boating school mug. Its not microwave safe hence why I don't use it. Tbh I'm scared to use it because of that reason. Idk what would happen if you do decide to warm up some milk in it. Will it make your organs melt?? Someone tell me so I don't have to fear using it😢

I have seasons 1-3, the 3 movies, and seasons 9, 11, 12. The store I used to by DVDs from closed down. Just recently it occurred that I could buy them online but still, getting them in person you can get the original box art. The newer ones aren't as cool. Check it out! Its so detailed!!

Oh also I got some SB comics! And the art book 👀

Also a lot of figurines for some reason, I've just noticed. My favorite is the scaredypants one with his brain out. Because I think that's my favorite episode? Hard to pick a favorite episode from my favorite season but I think Scaredypants is my favorite.

I got magnets, cups, pins, buttons, keychains, wall art stuff. The krabby patty secret formula. Also a pack of SB pencils from 2007 that I'm too scared to open because its so old. I found it one day at the sketchy dollar store.

Also some shirts, socks, and a jacket and a bag. A blanket? It's not really big enough to use as a regular blanket. Usually I just put it over my shoulders and pretend to be a hermit.

I also have a calendar for this year. And I still have my SB calendar from 2016. Because it was so rare to find SB stuff so when I found that calendar I knew I would keep it forever. And I still am. I also sometimes repurpose the packaging on SB stuff. Make other stuff out of it since its still perfectly good. Though that's a little weird now that I think about it. But its useful. I got this little box thing that I keep a bunch of scrunchies and a hairbrush in.

I remember in high school, there was a girl who was really into Spongebob from my SAP class which is basically introduction to Sociology, Anthropology, and Psychology which sounds exciting but it's not.

Anyways I didn't find out until one time she was talking about how she dreamed of marrying spongebob. Which uhh I'm not going to touch on that since it's not the strangest thing I've heard from students from that school. But up until that moment I always thought she was too cool™ and mature™ so it was pretty funny and made me feel comfortable talking to her since we share interests and she went on and on about how much she adored spongebob and how she had blankets, notebooks, pretty much everything spongebob. And I was so jealous like gosh I wish I could do that. And now I've realized I did do that. Wack ain't it?

There was also a girl from one of my classes in University and she noticed the little SB plush dangling from my bag and we've actually became good friends over it? And she wore a SB sweatshirt one time and I was like "oh I have the same one!" And she said she wore it because she thought of me and gosh?????

Oh also one of my friend's had a little spongebob pin based off of the episode Pests of the West. Its shaped as a sheriff star. She gave it to me and I'm still so so so honored. It's so cooool. She has a SB keychain with her name on it which is so lucky. I know I'd never find that since ya kno,,,, my name isn't common.

Anyways with all this SB stuff, my room has no actual theme. I always wanted everything to be black™ and dark™ and edgy. And while I do have some spooky stuff™ spiders, bat shaped things, skeletons and whatever. It's a very unusual with that being overpowered by Spunchbop and I like that. One side got a giant dracula poster and the other side has a spongebob alter. There is peace in the universe.

I did wanted to share a picture of Glovey Glove on a summoning circle tho as a send off but I cant add anymore pictures to my post😔 but just know I will do it. Glovey Glove is an entity of such dark forces beyond our comprehension. It would induce madness just trying to imagine. He shall destroy our existing universe and everything after that. He is the bringer of the end. The causer of chaos to the miserable and bleak void known as space of which we exist in. Our speckle of rock known as Earth so carelessly floating through the emptiness, oblivious from the destruction the one known as Glovey Glove shall soon bring upon us. What a cutie!💖

So uhh yeah! Too bad I couldn't share pictures of anything but I think you've got a good idea. I got the bookshelf a few months ago to put my stuff in and it made me realize I have a loooot of spongebob stuff. Before everything used to be so scattered. Oh and just yesterday I added the heart stickers on it. Because I have a lot for some reason.

Hope you enjoy 👍

#Anyways now you can guess where that post about watching a horror movie on the SB tv was inspired by #Me wishing i could have a sleepover with my homies and watching The Craft on the sb tv #spongebob #spongebob squarepants #sb #spongebon squarepants #the spongebob connoisseur #spongebob meme #Spongebob merchandise

[wickedpact]

so netflix just announced the schedule for that fan event on saturdays and now its official: there wont be a tog panel. charlize will make an appearance though, alongside other 5 actress in a panel about action movies. there's a moderator so its most likely gonna be a general discussion about the genre with an emphasis on female protagonists - she's certainly going to talk about andy and nile's characters as well as her experience as a producer - and maybe there will be a comment or two about the sequel, but i feel like nothing too specific or revealing and more like a brief statement. i hope i'm wrong tho! i mean they did kinda hint that there would be new content at the panel? (or maybe it was never gonna to happen and we're just clowns being baited yet again).

anyway, i keep wondering if its a case of netflix not giving a shit about promoting the movie, or if it there's another perfectly reasonable explanation for it and i'm being super extra about it.

because really, netflix has a lot of fucking money and they dont usually spare it on their marketing campaigns. and still we get nothing. not before the film came out (if i didnt have access to the gays from tumblr/twitter i would have never even discover the film - it had me at the joenicky gifs, obvs - and still, i had to introduce it to so many people from inside the community who had never heard of it.) and not even after people started engaging with it, basically begging for some crumbles. not a single photo or video of cast together, not any deletes scenes; we're all starving here!!! in fact, netflix just released the raw footage of an audition/chemestry test featuring the actresses from fear street vs the actual scenes from the film - including some dialogue that was cut from it which reveal some background info about the characters - so clearly they understand the appeal. SO WHY CANT WE HAVE THAT

[nonetheless i'm a fool who still hopes that someday we're gonna get more content of them together (i want behind the scenes footage! i wanna know more about their experiences training and shooting the film! i wanna hear funny stories from the set! i wanna see them teasing each other in several languages! also would sell a lung to watch luca and marwan taking part in back to back chef!). ]

anyhow, i honestly find that even when we take into account the global pandemic and its effects, the publicity was kinda wack; we can basically count on one hand how many interviews were made while they were promoting the film.

and i truly dont get it!!!!!!! im not even speaking as fan here. the old guard has the potential to be a hit among several demographics; now that disney took away what used to be netflix's flagship content the competition has never been more fierce in the superhero/ish genre!!! and its not like we're talking about some low-budget film cmon its a significal production with both experienced and emerging actors. its chiwetel ejofior ITS CHARLIZE FUCKING THERON. anyway my point is that in a time when movie theathers were closed and streaming reached its peak tog could - SHOULD - have been much more popular.

SO LIKE. WHY?????? does it have anything to do with skydance and copyrights? re: interviews, can it be that the cast just didnt sign up for this (is that even a thing? i dont know anything about the film industry, clearly)? unlikely for a movie that big i would guess but who knows??? i mean contrary to some hollywood folks most of the cast is extremely private and discrete people (GOOD FOR THEM) so perhaps they have some reservations about it? or we're really just the poor bastards that end up being obssessed with a media no one gives a fuck about it and thats it? WHYYY

p.s.: sorry for the word vomit! this was not supposed to be an essay i just had to get this off my chest and you're the most welcoming blog around these woods. thank you for the tea (or is it coffee? heh) and the biscuits and for always indulging our passionate rants. HAVE A NICE DAY I LOVE YOU

re: TUDUM, geeked week mentioned there will be a little interview thing for greg & leandro so i have a feeling if anything of tog importance will be discussed itll happen then

but yeah i get what youre saying; sometimes i wonder if the reason that theres like no bts content is bc it just.. .doesnt exist? just people didnt film things like chemistry readings or the like while creating tog and thats why theres been basically no crumbs? (but then again, it was gina who took it upon herself to post the hair & makeup test footage AND theres at least one deleted scene that we know of thats never been posted so maybe not)

and yeah it does seem so bizarre since tog got such a big response from audiences (it was one of netflix's most watched original movies!) and critics did actually like it, unlike some of netflix's most watched originals. PLUS it has that ✨ Franchise Potential ✨that everyone has been searching for as of late and it also gives netflix their sought after Woke Points. idk it just seems like they should be leaning into tog as hard as they can but it feels like theyve been largely ignoring it. i mean i get the holdups in regard to finding a new director but other than that the response from netflix has been so underwhelming

#anonymous #np btw i love The Anon Rants™ #and youre Right anyways so

[auroracalisto]

as fate will have it

request: Can I please request a Sweet Pea x sweet/innocent!fem!reader when soulmates meet, something important to themselves appears on their soulmate’s wrist as a tattoo. So since being a Serpent is so important to Sweet Pea, a Serpent tattoo appears on Y/n’s wrist, and since being loving is so important to Y/n, a heart would appear on Sweet Pea’s wrist. It would be especially cute if Y/n found out that she’s actually FP’s daughter/Jughead’s year younger sister (but was raised by her adoptive parents in the Northside and maybe FP didn’t know that he had another daughter because her birth mom never told him she was pregnant) because she has “Serpent blood” so it’s like it was fate.  Oooo also, I don’t know if this would be good to add to the plot, but it would also be interesting if Y/n’s adoptive parents told her she had to pick between them or FP & Jug, so an it’s us or them type of thing. Y/n picks FP, her birth dad, and her newfound older brother, Jughead, so she would go to live with them in the trailer.  — @kpopgirlbtssvt​

summary: request covers this 

word count: 2.4k words

warnings: rude parents?  adoption (idk if that’s something to trigger, but just to be safe).  being kicked out of home.  it’s also very possible that it’s ooc sweet pea BUT it’s fineeee

author’s notes: i wanted to clarify that it’s been like two years since i last saw the first season riverdale, so some things could be a little off.  the show is wack but i love the characters.  i also might have somewhat gone off from what the request was, and if i went off too much, just let me know and i will write something else!

Your friend quickly took her seat beside you, smiling.  "Did you hear?"

"Hear what?" you looked up from your book, slipping a piece of paper in between the old pages.  

She let out a soft giggle.  "Well, uh, I know you don't really care, but everyone else is busy—"

"—is that why you're talking to me?"

"Oh my god, no," she blushed.  "No, sorry, that came out totally insensitive, didn't it?  I just... okay, well, they're closing down the southside."

Your eyes widened a bit.  "What?"

"Yeah.  They're gonna consolidate the schools.  So everyone from the southside will be coming up here.  They're supposed to start coming in today.  You should try to see if anyone is your soulmate," she grinned.  

"Yeah, okay, but you've already found your soulmate," you sighed softly, standing up.  You had hardly touched your lunch at all.  From your book and the mention of your soulmate, you didn't want to touch it.  You wanted to meet your soulmate.  Oh, you wanted to love them like they deserved to be loved.  But here you were, finding it hard to believe that you had a soulmate.  

Your friend just smiled.  "You know I love you, right?"

You rose an eyebrow but you soon returned the smile.  "Yeah, yeah.  I know."

She just smiled before she rushed off, gods only know where.  

You stuffed your book back into your backpack, carrying your tray to empty it.  You needed to stop by your locker before your next class.  

Walking out of the cafeteria, you started towards your lockers.  New faces filled the hallway the farther you walked.  You could feel the anxiety start creeping into your veins, but not because of the southside—you had began to wonder if you would find your soulmate from the people who transferred.  

You sighed softly to yourself as you came to your locker—and you had even been prepared to get into it when you saw a man leaning up against it.  He was tall, his hair was dark, and he had gorgeous brown eyes.  He was talking to a short girl with streaked hair and another guy with equally dark hair.  

You cleared your throat to get the tall guy's attention and your blush only darkened as he looked over at you.  

"Would you mind moving?  You're on top of my locker..."

He stared at you for a moment before he nodded, pushing himself off from the locker.  But before he could move too far, a searing pain took over his wrist.  Just as quickly as it had came, it disappeared.  He quickly looked down at his wrist, only to realize that the same exact thing had happened to you.  And now, you were staring down at a serpent tattoo on your wrist, whereas a heart took its place on his own.  

The girl with streaks in her hair was smiling.  "Uuhhhh," she grabbed a hold of the other boy.  "Have fun," she quickly said, before leading him away.  

You blushed and looked up at the man.  "Uh—"

"—a northsider?" he asked, but he couldn't help his smile from forming.  He was about to tease you, but he couldn't help his happiness.  He finally found his soulmate.  "Do you know how much hell I'm gonna get for this?"

Your blush only darkened.  "I—I, well," you breathed out, but your own smile spread across your face.  "That's exciting.  I still need to get in my locker."  You were buzzing with happiness.  The boy moved out of the way and you quickly got into it, looking up at him.  He was far taller than you.  You couldn't help the grin that showed up.  

"I'm Sweet Pea," he said.  

You blushed.  "That's cute."  He rose his eyebrows.  "I mean—" you let out an awkward laugh.  "My name is [Your name]."

"It's nice to meet you, [Your name]," he blushed a bit.  He just smiled.  He would have said more, but his name was shouted from across the hallway.  He looked at you and bit his lip, before he suddenly grabbed your arm, taking a permanent marker from your locker.  He wrote down his number before he looked up at you and grinned.  "Text me, okay?"

You blushed and nodded, before you watched him leave.   

[]

That night, you were too excited to tell your parents about your day.  You finally found your soulmate.  And he was totally attractive.  And worth your love.  You had decided this just moments after he grabbed your arm to write his number down.  It felt like the stars were aligned, just for you.  Perhaps that's what it felt like when you found your soulmate—like nothing could go wrong.  

But as you walked in to your home, dropping your backpack to the floor, it was dead silent.  You walked into the dining room, seeing your parents sitting there with a couple of papers laying out.  Your mother was close to tears, but your father seemed angry.  He cleared his throat as he saw you.  

"[Your name].  Sit."

You did as you were told, beginning to frown.  You looked at your mom.  "What's going on?"

"[Your name].  Remember how we told you we had adopted you?"

You looked at your dad and nodded.  "Of course.  But that doesn't matter... because you're both my parents.  What's this about?"

"Your mother."  

You quickly looked at her, frowning.  

"Your mother fabricated a couple of papers.  She wanted a baby so badly that she would lie about who you belonged to just so she could have you."

"What?"

"You belong to FP," your dad said, staring down your mother.  You always knew that your father didn't like southsiders, but this was odd.  

"I don't belong to anyone, dad—"

"—don't," he said, frowning at you.  "Your mother decided that it was okay to adopt the child of a gang leader.  She put us in danger.  Your sister.  Your grandparents."

"What—they've never hurt anyone," you frowned at the man.  "Why would she have endangered them if they swear against violence like that—"

"—you'd be surprised," he snorted through his nose.  He clenched his jaws before he handed you the papers.  Before you could grab them, he just dropped them in front of you.  You picked one up, seeing your real birth certificate.  Your birth mother was listed, and then so was your birth father.  Your father was right—FP Jones was listed as your birth father.  

Your face paled and you looked up at him.  "What is this?  What are you trying to tell me?"

"Choose."

"Excuse me?"

"Choose.  The Jones.  Or us."

You looked over at your mother in disbelief.  "What happens if I choose you?"

"We will forbid you from talking with the Jones."

You blinked a couple of times, confusion washing over you.  "But if they're my biological family, I'd like to know them—"

"—if that's the case," your father frowned, "just go and live with them."

You stared at him, feeling your heart beat rushing in your ears.  You quickly got to your feet.  Your mother wasn't defending you.  Your father was kicking you out.  It only took a few moments for you to decide that you would leave.  You quickly rushed to the front door, grabbing your bag.  But not before you had grabbed the papers your father had sat in front of you.  The proof was in the ink—literally.  

You pulled your backpack onto your back, looking down at the papers as you pulled out your phone.  

It had been literal years since you last talked to Jughead Jones.  You had his contact, still.  At least, the one he had whenever the two of you were friends in your seventh grade year.  You began to hope that the stars were aligned for you once more as you clicked on the contact and listened to it ringing.  By the fourth ring, you were prepared to turn your phone off, but you almost gasped as you heard Jughead's voice.  

"Shh," you heard Jughead, before he said hello.  

"Jughead?  Uh, it's [Your name]—"

"—yeah, I have your contact."

"Right," you blushed.  "I, uh," you cleared your throat.  "Do you mind if I swing by your house?  I need to talk to your dad."

You didn't mention the fact that you had just been kicked out of your home.  That could come at a later point in time.  

Jughead blinked a couple of times and he leaned back in his seat.  "Yeah, of course.  When will you be here?"

"In about an hour," you said.  

"Alright.  See you then?"  

With that, he hung up.  He looked over at Sweet Pea, Fangs, and Toni.  

"Who was that?" Sweet Pea asked.  

"[Your name]."

[] 

You hadn't anticipated the walk to Jughead's house, but you still remembered the way.  It had taken you the full hour to get there from your house.  But you were there.  As you walked up to the trailer, you noticed two motorcycles parked by Jughead's dad's truck.  You walked up the stairs and knocked on the door.  You probably looked a mess—from the walk and from the cold air, you were sure you were as red as the red lipstick you always had stuffed in the bottom of your book bag.  

The door began to open and you quickly greeted Jughead, only stopping short when you realized Sweet Pea had answered.  

He smiled at you.  "Hi."

You began to blush and you smiled.  "Hi..."  

He moved out of the way and let you inside.  FP was in the living room, and he looked over at you, confused.  

"What has it been?" he asked, beginning to smile.  "Three years?"

"Four, sir," you weakly smiled.  

FP took notice and he tilted his head.  Sweet Pea frowned and led you over to sit down.  He looked at the papers in your hands as he sat on the edge of the armchair you sat on.  His eyes widened and he quickly looked over at Jughead and his father.  

"I... I wanted to tell you about this.  I don't... do you remember a Julie Harding?"

FP blinked harshly before he nodded.  "Yes."

You took in a deep breath as you looked down at the papers.  "She's my birth mother."

Jughead looked at you with a frown.  "You were adopted?"

You nodded towards him and handed FP your papers.  He took one look at the birth certificate and he looked up at you in disbelief.  "Are you serious?"

You weakly smiled, once more.  "They kicked me out when they realized you were my birth dad."

Sweet Pea's jaw was locked as he looked at you.

FP frowned.  "Well.  You're always welcome here.  I...  I can't believe this," he said.  His frown soon formed into a smile.  "I have another daughter," he breathed out.  

Jughead looked at the papers for a moment.  "We're siblings?"

"I guess so," you began to smile as well.  

Sweet Pea watched you for a moment.  You were always filled with smiles.  You were always happy, even in moments like this.  It astounded him, but he knew that he needed that in his life.  He knew that the stars were truly aligned in just the right way.  

He suddenly took a hold of your hand and you laced your fingers with his, blushing.  Sure, your parents hurt you.  But you took one look around the trailer and you realized that these people were the ones that you could truly make a family out of.  

[]

Two months down the road, you were still asking Sweet Pea to move out of the way so you could get into your locker.  But instead of him staring at you the entire time, he would just kiss your cheek or your forehead, or even your lips, and move to stand on the other side.  Which side truly depended on his mood, just like where he kissed you.  

Every time you would see Jughead, he would greet you with a smile and a short conversation, but when the two of you were with your new friends, you were truly yourself.  You found comfort in the serpents.  You found comfort in your biological family, and with your soulmate, Sweet Pea.  

Sweet Pea stood by your locker, his arms crossed over his chest as he saw you walk down the hall.  He couldn't help his frown from turning into a smile.  Before you could ask him to move, he leaned forward to kiss your cheek.  He quickly took your books and stuffed them in your already opened locker—Toni had memorized your combination and he asked her to unlock it for him.  

He took your hand.  "Come on.  I have a surprise for you."

You rose an eyebrow but you laced his fingers with his.  You tried to protest when you realized that he was about to lead you out of the school, but you stopped yourself.  FP wouldn't berate you for skipping a couple of classes.  

Sweet Pea brought you over to his motorcycle and her turned to look at you, smiling.  "Wear this," he said, handing you his helmet.  

You just blushed and did as you were told before you got onto the back of the sleek bike.  You wrapped your arms around his torso and he put on his helmet before he started his motorcycle and took off.  He drove fast, but not dangerously.  In a matter of minutes, the two of you were back at FP's trailer.  Sweet Pea helped you off and took a hold of both of your hands.  

"What—"

"I don't have anything to show you.  I just... know that your birthday is coming up soon and I wanted to celebrate alone while we can."

You blushed and gently shoved his shoulder.  

"Not that," he laughed.  "Get your mind out of the gutter.  Nah, I wanted to have a movie marathon with you, but if that's what you want—"

"—movie marathon," you blushed, taking a hold of his hand once more.  He smiled and led you into the trailer.  

He stopped in the doorway to look at you, just taking in your beauty.  He leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to your lips.

"Did I ever tell you how thankful I am that you're my soulmate?" he asked.

You just blushed and shook your head as he let out a soft laugh and hugged onto you.  

Your soulmate acted tough in public—but around you and in private, he was a softy.  Your heart melted every time you saw him, and actions like this only strengthened your love for the man.  You wrapped your arms around his neck and smiled.  

"I love you, Sweet Pea."

His eyes widened as he heard the words, but his smile never left him.  

"I love you, too, [Your name]."

#sweet pea x reader #sweet pea #x reader #reader insert #gender neutral reader? #riverdale #riverdale x reader #one-shot #fp jones #jughead jones #y/n jones #soulmate #soulmate au

[fairycosmos]

hey, it’s the anon who sent an ask about eating the other day. idk if it was helpful or not so pls just tell me to fuck off if this isn’t helping, but I saw ur post about cereal last night and I just want to say that like, that is exactly the kind of thing that you don’t have to feel guilty over that i was talking about!! like you literally did NOTHING wrong by eating cereal at 3am, even if you had 5 bowls. ik it’s easier said than done but really try and let go of any feelings of guilt and shame after doing something like that. if you’re trying to eat healthier overall that’s a really admirable aim but try and do it in baby steps!! if you’re overly restrictive during the day that’s more likely to lead to overeating at night. Genuinely if you just allow yourself to eat the foods you want (whilst also tryna get enough veggies and nutrition etc) without any feelings of guilt or shame attached (bc there’s no such thing as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ foods) your body will naturally regulate itself and eat what it needs to. but first you really have to get rid of the mindset of like ‘I NEED to eat less’ bc if you force yourself not to eat when ur hungry or to eat something super ‘healthy’ when you’re craving something ‘unhealthy’ you’re just gonna make urself tired and want to overeat later!! genuinely the way out of the binge/restrict cycle is just to let yourself eat and to not feel guilty abt it, even if you eat a ‘bad’ food or too much food. food is fuel and energy and not something to feel guilty about consuming. getting rid of those guilty feelings will eventually lead you to a point where eating a balanced diet, which includes all the foods you love, will come as naturally as breathing. like eating food is so natural and society tries to convince you that there’s some special trick to it but really you just have to follow ur instincts. ik that won’t happen overnight, but i hope at least the next time you feel guilty abt food (bc ik guilty feelings aren’t easy to get rid of) you will have my voice in ur head telling u you really don’t need to b. it will get easier, i promise. Good luck, sending you all my love ❣️

hey you’re actually an angel and these are super super helpful !!  ❣️ thats why i kept your last ask actually because it had so many great reminders in it and i know if i let it go i’ll just forget all my epiphanies and go back to doing my stupid shit lol. yeah i’m really sick of how much stress its causing me honestly idk why my brain is focusing on it when it’s not even my biggest problem rn. and it rarely even results in me eating healthily/not over eating. i just get mad at myself for nothing and like, my body is never goin to learn to regulate itself if i keep up w this cycle, like you said. i didn’t end up eating last night but calories have been in the back of my mind all fucking day today and it’s upsetting me to think about eating more. apparently meals are supposed to be between 500-700 cals and mine was like 800 something, but i don’t want that to make me uncomfortable bc hello these rules are entirely made up. and it’s not a crime to nourish myself. it’s just energy and i’m trying to remember that more than anything !! i think simplifying it in my mind would really help. just like listening to my body, trying to eat when i’m actually hungry n then actually stopping when i’m full instead of going to either extreme and putting my stomach all out of wack. i’ll try to work on getting into that habit even if it doesn’t happen right away <3 thank you so so much for being so understanding abt this and giving me some insightful realistic advice, it means a lot to me. i know it’s a touchy issue n i’m prob oversharing about it on here but honestly what don’t i over share about atp :^) lmfao anyway i appreciate you more than i can say n i hope you always approach yourself with this same level of patience. you deserve the world !!  ❣️

#tw eating disorder #tw ed #tw calories #cw food #tw anorexia #tagging aggressively just in case but ask me to tag more if u want #anon

[cordonian-literature]

wip wednesday :)

hi y’all so i wasn’t tagged (whoops broke the rules) and it’s still kinda early in the day but i wanted to make this post because i’ve been working on a few other fics and wanted to share :)

i’ve been finishing up Aftermath - the reason it’s taking me so long to post chapters is because i initially had a very sad ending planned. i weeped when i was rereading it because i’ve gotten emotionally attached to the characters (what a surprise) and am now rewriting a happier ending. i think there’s like... 3 chapters left (don’t quote me on that, i’m a mess and it could change, but its unlikely).

there’s also two other fic ideas that i had. the first one kinda throws canon out the window - but there are still some elements, like Bertrand and Savannah’s relationship (though it’s extremely altered), the assassination with Olivia’s parents, Godfrey & Barthelemy’s treason... it’s just changed, like Queen Eleanor’s story is different, Leo doesn’t abdicate, Liam and Drake never really became best friends, and MC (Klara/Claire Brooks) leads a double life, keeping both men (and families) away from each other

the second one throws TRH 3 in the trash (even though it already is kinda trash, haha). this would take place during the last chapter of TRH 2 and throw the whole vote stuff out the window - because the farther we go with that, the less it makes sense. basically, Auvernal kidnaps the heir, Barthelemy is involved in it, and Liam and MC (i’m keeping her as Riley Brooks for this one) along with the gang do everything they can to get her back (obviously why wouldn’t they). i thought it would be interesting putting a part of it in the heir’s point of view, since those were kinda funny in some of the recent chapters. nothing too dark or serious (i mean yeah the heir getting kidnapped is serious, but you know what i mean. besides that, there are no major trigger warnings)

both these fics will most likely flop, but i had fun with these ideas and wanted to share

so here we go

✦✧✦✧✦

The Aftermath - Chapter 32

When Bastien enters, his eyes widen as they rest on Boris. He gives Olivia a look.

“Drake,” she tells him, hoping that would be enough of an answer. Bastien frowns. Olivia didn’t know why Drake had done this either. The fool hadn’t given her any information as to what this man had done. Where was she even supposed to start?

Now she was really wishing she had called Jacob to give her a background check.

“So,” she begins, pacing in front of Boris. Bastien was at full attention, closely watching both of them. “What happened between you and Drake?”

Boris spits blood to the opposite side of the room. It drips down the wall. “Call the bastard in here. Tell him to explain.” His accent is thick and his voice is tried.

I probably should, she thinks to herself.

Bastien gives Olivia another look. She nods at him.

“Let us shift the conversation,” Bastien begins. “Can I ask how long you’ve known Lady Riley or her late husband?”

“How is that important?” Boris questions.

“Just curious.” Bastien’s voice remains level.

Boris sighs, then leans back in his chair, staring up at the ceiling. “Potter. I met him in college. He introduced me to Riley-”

“I’m sorry,” Bastien interrupts him. “Who is ‘Potter’?”

“The lovely Theodore Blaise.” Boris lets out a rueful chuckle. “You have not seen him in person? The idiot looks like Harry Potter. Stupid glasses, stupid hair.”

“Alright,” Bastien stops him again. “Continue. When did he introduce you to Riley?”

“New York. That one year. I was visiting before I had to go to... Switzerland? Sweden? One of the two. It was lifetime ago. Can’t remember everything.” He pauses to look around the room. “She was... with your King. We saw her in the park. Theo wanted to see her. We waited for the king to leave her before he went up to her hotel.”

Olivia knew that he was talking about the last night Riley had been with the court. But Boris was drawing out the conversation. She didn’t like how slow Bastien was approaching this. Olivia wanted to draw a knife — she had a new one she was itching to use — and force the answers out of him.

✦✧✦✧✦

Until the End - Prologue

A/N: also i made a thing for this series. it’s not a moodboard. idk what its called. like a banner or whatever? i felt creative and made it. i’ll probably end up making a moodboard too. there are three parts of the series, each part has seven/eight chapters. anyway this looks kinda wack i might not even use it

As we near the stairs, Olivia Nevrakis chases after Maxwell Beaumont, who tumbles down the steps.

“Why are you running?!” Olivia cries after the boy, a long object in her hand.

“Because you have a stick!” he cries after almost tripping over his short, chubby legs.

“What am I gonna do, hit you with it?”

“YES?!” Maxwell screams, a confused and fearful tone in his voice.

As the two reach the bottom of the stairs, Liam emerges from another corridor, laughing after his friends. His hair is a whorl on his head, and his cheeks are flushed pink.

“Hello, Mother!” he says. My son hugs my waist, then reaches to hug his father, but Constantine has already walked on.

I take the boy’s hand and we follow after the King. Near the entrance of the palace stands a man in guard’s uniform, a woman in a denim dress, and two small children.

“Eleanor, Liam,” Constantine begins. “I would like for you two to be introduced to a new member of our security team. Jackson Walker, his wife Bianca, and their children, Drake and Savannah.”

“A pleasure, Your Majesties,” Jackson says as he and his wife bow respectfully. The little girl blinks up at me while Drake looks between Liam and I.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Liam!” My son holds out his hand to Drake.

Constantine audibly coughs. Liam’s hand falls to his side, and his smile falls as well. I knew that the differences in status would not allow Liam to interact with the boy so improperly, but they are just children. I didn’t think there was a reason for such excessive formality.

Bianca slightly nudges her son. In a monotone voice, Drake greets, “Nice to meet you, Prince Liam.”

Liam’s expression lifts. I send a smile in Bianca’s direction, and she hesitantly returns it. Jackson holds eye contact with me a moment longer, a wide grin stretching his face.

Constantine grabs our attention again. “Jackson, you will be primarily working on my wife’s security team. Now if you’ll excuse us, we are expected at dinner. My head of security, Bastien, will lead you through the rest of your orientation. After dinner, you’ll be able to speak to my wife and receive any orders she has for you.”

“Yes, Sire,” Jackson bows his head again, and Constantine leads us away.

Godfrey and his family, along with the Beaumonts, Olivia, and Leo are already seated. They all stand quickly as Constantine comes into the room, giving polite bows.  

The moment we sit, there’s a flurry of activity as the servants set our plates in front of us. Adelaide sips on her wine absently. Annabelle fusses over Maxwell, who has cookie crumbs on his fingers and face. Madeleine attempts to get Leo’s attention, but he laughs with Bertrand, the boys giving each other impish smiles. Olivia converses with Liam, taking on a gentle demeanor compared to how she behaved with Maxwell.

“Hostilities between Monterisso and Auvernal are increasing by the day,” I hear Godfrey mention to Constantine.

“The whole of Europe expects them to break out in war,” Barthelemy adds.

“Monterissian and Auvernese citizens anticipate some sort of peace treaty,” Godfrey continues. The men speak as if they are one unit, with one mind. “But other nations have already begun taking sides.”

“The King of Hidar is siding with Monterisso.” Barthelemy motions for a servant to bring him more wine. “But there are rumors that he is only doing so after receiving threats.”

“Most nations are waiting for Cordonia and Monaco for their decisions for who to ally with.”

When Barthelemy and Godfrey finish filling Constantine’s ears, they return to the food on their plates, staring down as if nothing else in the world concerned them. Constantine chews slowly, visibly considering their words.

“Monterisso has always kept a neutral face when it comes to Cordonian issues,” the King mentions. “They have never asked or hinted towards alliance. They are not many nations who ally with them at all.”

“So you must admit,” Barthelemy finishes chewing, “that allying with them instead of Auvernal makes a bad impression—”

“—and reduces the chance of alliances with other nations,” Godfrey finishes with him.

“How so?” I speak up. The three men turn their heads to look at me. No one else at the table pays attention to the conversation, but as their eyes burn in my direction — aggressive looks from the Dukes, while my husband raises an eyebrow at me — I want to take back my words.

But I do no such thing. After more than seven years of marriage, I had become accustomed to Godfrey and Barthelmey shutting down the advice I gave to my husband. This instance is no different.

✦✧✦✧✦

The Lion and the Heir - short series - Prologue

A/N: just as a heads up, i laughed while writing this. like i wrote this just for a good laugh and wanted to share. my friend sent me a writing prompt about a kid’s wild imagination and she thought it was funny and sent it to me (i sent her this same passage and we both laughed our heads off reading parts of it) so what i’m trying to say is that thinking this is terrible and cringe-worthy is understandable - i cringed at this myself and am very scared to post this lol, and might not even continue it. yes i made a moodboard thing. yes i laughed while making it. goodbye.

"Is everything well, Mommy?" I ask. Instead of answering me, again she attempts to silence me! I repeat my question, but this time the man tells me to silent myself.

Did they not know who they were speaking to? Perhaps I was interrupting something. Was there a lesson to be learned somewhere in this? I wish that Daddy were present at this meeting. Though most of his explanations were gibberish, he would at least attempt to make me understand.

The man walks towards me. He reaches his hands out to carry me, but I do not know this man! And he was quite stinky! I do not like him. I smack his hands away, and he takes a step back.

"With all due respect," I try to explain to him, "please introduce yourself before any forward actions. They are most unwelcoming. Your Princess does not appreciate this behavior."

He turns to my suspicious mother and says something in gibberish. I frown, for the language barrier does not mean that my subjects may disobey my wishes in such a manner!

Suspicious Mommy takes off the shield that was over her eyes. I find that it is NOT Mommy! Though they look similar, their differences are too contrasting. This woman's eyes were a tad sharper. She was too aware of me, and did not seem comfortable in my presence.

"Shhh sh shhh," she goes again, trying to pick me up, but I allow my short legs to fall from under me. My behind hits the mattress, and I feel my friend, General Lion, against my hand.

"Is everything well, Your Highness?" my trusty General says to me. "Is there anything I can do to be of service?"

"Dismiss this woman from my presence!" I command him.

"But... but that is Mommy!" he cries.

This woman was good in her disguise. She had fooled my trusted advisor!

"Believe me, General, it is not!" I tell him. "She has fooled us!"

"And she is trying to take you away?" he observes.

"Yes!" I am suddenly aware of what is happening. The woman begins to reach for me. "Quick!" I say, panic swelling in my chest. I had to do something about this, but all my heart is telling me to do is cry! I have to take more serious measures than that! "What am I to do?"

"Uh... uh..." General Lion looks around the crib, before he reaches out to me. "Take a hold of my paw!"

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

putting my Aftermath taglist because that’s the only one i have :) - y’all can see what’s happening in the next chapter & these other fics. if you’re interested in any (besides Aftermath) let me know! if you don’t interact or anything, i’ll leave you on the Aftermath taglist and won’t remove or add you anywhere :)

(also, people probably know this but just a gentle reminder, the only reason i don’t reply to comments is because this is a sideblog. i see them all though, so don’t worry. i just don’t want to confuse people by replying from my main blog or anything :) anyway let me stop trailing off)

@captain-kingliamsqueen​ @gkittylove99​ @lovablegranny​ @iam-the-kind-and-thoughtful​ @mom2000aggie​ @kingliam2019​ @queenrileyrose​ @shanzay44​ @cordonianroyalty​ @hopefulmoonobject​ @hopelessromanticmonie​ @twinkle-320​ @amandablink​ @texaskitten30​ @pens-girl-87​ @ladyangel70​ @sanchita012​ @cordonianprincess​ @cordonia-gothqueen​ @pink-diamond13​ @queenwalton​​ @yourmajesty09​ @alj4890​​ @choicesbutterfly​​​ 

^if anyone from this list wants to do the WIP Wednesday thing, feel free!!

#trr fanfic #wips

[zontiky]

Okay but au where they're not all related and five is a mysterious orphan Diego keeps running into at odd hours of the night and then him just being like "fuck it he's like 13 he can't be out alone at night" and then just takes him home like a godamn stray and five is THRIVING under the positive attention he never had I beg of you please feed my soul. Also sorry if this doesn't make sense I've had 2 hours of sleep and like 8 coffees today

i think i’ve read a fic similar to this but FUCK YEAH let’s do this (sorry im so late btw i havent been feeling bullet points lately fksjdfks) ALSO HEY OP PLEASE DON’T DIE I HOPE YOU’RE OK??? 

so diego is still a cop and he’s patrolling or doing whatever it is that cops do, and then he sees a kid sitting in an alley

obviously he pulls over like “hey kid you okay?” and the kid is like “shut up go away bootlicker” and diego is instantly “okay then come on im taking you to get food”

the kid doesn’t want to go but at the same time diego can tell he knows that there’s really no better options. this child looks hungry

so the kid and diego go to griddy’s and the kid says his name is five when asked

“that’s not a name”

“is too”

diego+fam have a long history of trauma and reginald called them by number which was their birth order or something? idk OH SHIT WAIT YOU SAID NOT ALL RELATED OK OK COOL SO

luther is a mechanic who diego knows because he’s the dude who’s often the one repairing his car, they’re on pretty good terms and go out for coffee sometimes because luther hates alcohol and diego’s body is a temple so he doesn’t drink

diego is diego he’s a cop but he’s highkey broke and i really don’t know how much cops get paid? hm

ok google says from 34.6k - 89.4k a year and numbers mean nothing to me so lets say he’s just a gremlin who lives in a boiler room because it’s efficient

OR he’s still dating eudora and lives with her

you know what that’s probably the better option i’m gonna go with that. they don’t have as much childhood trauma even though none of the “siblings” come from exactly good homes? but none of them were raised by reggie mcfuckface so it’s less like,,, bad even though they’re all fucked up

WAIT DO THEY HAVE THEIR POWERS

HELL YEAH THEY HAVE THEIR POWERS

ok ok so luther is a mechanic who uses his super strength and endurance to just fucking carry cars around his garage and i know NOTHING about mechanics as a profession but but but luther is good at what he does

diego is a cop who lives with eudora and throws knives like a boss. he also throws tennis balls really hard because stabbing people on duty isn’t advised

you know what? i’m gonna say allison ISNT a movie star, shes a smaller actress with minor roles here and there because she’s a mom and spends time with claire. she doesn’t use her rumor as much because honestly she doesn’t see a reason to? like sometimes she’ll go “i heard a rumor you gave me a free shot of coffee” and like,,, that’s it shfskd

her and patrick are still divorced but that’s because they did it the healthy way. they knew they were drifting apart but instead of rumoring him they broke it off mutually and they still meet up for coffee. they’re friends ok. claire loves her parents

klaus! klaus has problems but because im a soft bitch dave is here in 2019. he’s… also a mechanic…. they all know eachother but dave knows luther and diego pretty well. luther via work and diego via luther

yes klaus! so klaus has a history of drugs and addiction, because while he wasn’t shoved into a mausoleum ghosts screaming at you all the fucking time doesn’t help with staying sober

but because he has a support network he can fall back on he’s doing well, he’s a barista in a coffee shop that allison and patrick & diego and luther frequent

shoutout to klaus

five is an orphan he’s 13 and small and kind of a genius? fuck what if as a kid five accidentally time-traveled to 2019 and thaT’S HOW HE BECAME AN ORPHAN 

galaxy brain

so five is this kid in the wrong time living on the streets not knowing how things work

i mean he does obviously because he catches on quick and he’s smart but really he doesn’t know how some shit works ok. he’s clueless when it comes to technology and pop culture and shit

ben!! ben is alive!! he’s a part time writer and a full time librarian!! he knows klaus because during his homeless days klaus stuck around the library because free bathrooms and also reading to take his mind off the ghosts. they become really close and ben gets klaus to move in with him and then he’s trying to get sober and then ben’s car crashes and that’s how they meet luther and dave OHHHH

additionally: klaus illustrates some of ben’s books because he knows how to draw yay

vanya! she’s first chair in the orchestra and she’s dating helen cho because i say so

so vanya kicks ass at violin, she’s being gay teaching lessons all that good shit what more is there to say

harold isn’t here because there was never an umbrella academy

hmmm back to the,,, actual plot,,, im sorry sksfhdjsk

SO DIEGO FINDS FIVE RIGHT

AND HE’S LIKE “oh no this child is awakening my paternal instincts oh no i have to take him home with me now”

eudora opening the door to see her husband boyfriend with an angry looking teenager at his side: dear god what did you do this time

eudora instantly bonds with five and i mean INSTANTLY like she lays eyes on him and goes “child?? small?? looks lonely?? must protect” and five looks at her like “badass looking lady she probably knows what shes doing might as well ask for info and stuff” but hes actually thinking “oh dang she looks like she knows what she’s doing RESPECT” and yeah ksdjhsdkf

then five expects them to be mean or just get tired of him and kick him out but?? they dont??? wack

diego is instantly like “kid where do you live”

‘um’

“you live somewhere right???”

‘UM’

they find out he’s legally dead and thats another can of worms entirely

so they register and foster five

diego and eudora are registered foster parents you cannot change my mind alright

then five is introduced to luther and dave, and also ben and klaus because theyre hanging around the shop bc it’s their off day

so five instantly has 4 more people giving him instant love and validation and he’s like “woah”

THEN ALLISON AND PATRICK

claire too,, claire immediately adopts five as her older brother

this entire time five is like “i can’t stay im gonna leave soon you all know this right” and eveybody is “yep ok sure” but they all know hes gonna stay

hhHHHH GAME NIGHTS

five beats everybody at scrabble

diego beats everybody at darts, even though everybody calls him out for cheating

vanya beats everybody at musical chairs. she levitates the chairs so nobody can sit down

luther beats everybody at outdoor games. do not play tag with this man you might not make it out alive

allison is the QUEEN of blurt! 

ben is so good at charades it’s unfair

klaus honestly sucks at board games, but he always wins uno and nobody knows how (its the ghosts skfhsdkf)

five is so confused because its obvious all of them are cheating but??? nobody cares?? what

“it’s because it’s fun nobody is actually upset”

whaaaaaaat

so they have to explain to him that they dont play to win they play to have fun and its just a fun thing they do to spend time together and bond

five: mind blown

THEY TAKE HIM TO AN AQUARIUM

BEN JUST CHILLS WITH THE OCTOPI THE ENTIRE TIME

FIVE BONDS WITH CRABS

THEY ALL LOVE SEALS

five gets exposed to modern culture!! klaus and ben teach him memes is what i’m saying 

five goes to school!!! he makes friends!!!! they have nice sleepovers and diego and eudora make them cookies :’)

i want to say. okay so.

reginald exists and he had made grace eariler as preparation for the children he was going to adopt, but he died before he could buy any babies

so grace exists! and!! she knows the “siblings”!!!

so five has a grandma because im not going to lie grace is basically all of their’s mom

she lives in the mansion but she can go outside and DO THINGS and she makes them COOKIES and she LOVES HER KIDS and GRANDKIDS and five ADORES her ok

basically five is happy with his pseudo family that’s it thank you for your time

wait no actually he figures out how to time travel safely and he does go back and forth

sometimes he pops in and he’s like “hey we ran out of milk” and then a second later he’s like “for the love of god wait until tomorrow to get milk dont ask why you dont wanna know” and its obvious that he came back from the future and HHHHHH YES

the commission can’t do shit because found family love is simply too strong

hazel and agnes are the nice couple who run griddys and birdwatch

five is fond of them too honestly like he just loves going to griddys because it has so many happy memories for him and its where he met diego (sorta) and also yay hazel and agnes!!

SO YEAH BASICALLY: FIVE IS HAPPY AND THIS AU IS GOD TIER THANK YOU

THIS IS A GOOD ONE I LIKE THIS AU THANK YOU

#asks #tinky-wink #tua #aus #hcs #rambles #stray au #team zero

[ts-2020-olympics]

EPISODE 1 - “My Legs Were Not Qwoperating” - Kathy (Part 2)

no. jk here.

So, it’s morning. I look around at our camp, and see everyone is at work. Karen is painting their flag and using safety scissors to cut out Monty’s head, Kevin is chanting to himself in the corner, Stoner’s been asleep so we buried him in the sand up to his neck and then sculpted a sand castle around him. Tommy is just trying to make eye contact with anyone he can and so I’m...avoiding that. I’d say we are solid but that’s probably not the truth, and so that kind of stinks. I’m hoping the newbies really fuck up, and I know that’s harsh but...that’s showbiz, babe!! Speaking of newbies I still haven’t talked to a few of them.  Emma like zoomed away the first day and I’ve given up on talking to her. Hope she goes first. That’s all I got for now, going to eat breakfast I will continue this rant later.

my truth is that i haven’t played an org game in so long i forgot i was playing and then remembered an hour ago and tried to do this wack qwop game hsksksj! my legs were not qwoperating 

I see there's an arena going on! I might go there first if the rest of the team is okay with it - gives me a chance to scope things out and get a feel for the area. I'm excited!

WE WON THE FUCKING CHALLEEEENGE AAAAA NOT ONLY DID WE WIN BUT WE KILLT IT WE SCORED 12 AND EVERYONE ELSE GOT LIKE 8 AND 5 OHMYGOOOD IM NOT GONNA BE FIRST OUT YALL IM SHAKING I CANT BELIEVE GSJDKDVDSNDBWSKHSD okAy okay so thank god bc my tribe has like no drama so our vote would’ve been really difficult and that gives me more time to think about my possible advantage and the possible bonds here. 

so while I am safe I still have to game a little bit and talk to the people I’ve been talking with who are going to tribal like Sammy and Jordan, funny enough who are on the same tribe.... maybe I can get them to protect each other..... hm

Well we lost because of technicalities, I choose to blame that. This tribe is apparently extremely quiet to each other, so the fact that I messaged everyone hello this morning, nearly 48 hours after the start, I am SOMEHOW one of the best social players here. Challenges are generally my strength, we got last in QWOP, so backup is social game in a social ORG. I can be in some danger here, but I think I have a TRusuT sclusTER to keep myself here. As is necessary. I don't care who goes, I have a preference, but I don't really want to set a goal right now. Flexibility is key.

I'm literally PISSED. I'm fuming right now, like wtf? OK so I haven't confessed anything yet because my tribe has been SO quiet. I've honestly talked a lot more to some of the people from ONE WORLD than I have from some of the people from my own tribe... and I'm not crazy okay? It's NOT my fault. I put in effort with these people... But some of these people are just DRY! Drier than the Sahara Desert! Drier than my chappy ass lips! They can't hold a conversation, and that's obnoxious. I'm not going to respond to you if your message has literally nothing in it worth responding to, that's why most of my messages will either have a follow-up question, or something actually of substance to comment on/reply to... YOU SHOULD DO THE SAME SO WE CAN ACTUALLY SPEAK AND MAINTAIN A CONSISTENT DIALOGUE!!!!!!! But NOOOOOOO, my tribe decides to not speak... MOVING ON! The only people I've had good conversations with really are Juls and Em, and lo and behold, Em does lit rally nothing in this challenge, which sucks because I'm afraid that may put a target on her back. But I'm not sure, I definitely will vote with her and I think Juls will too. I'll move onto that later but I wanna talk about why I'm fucking LIVID RIGHT NOW. I literally made SO many suggestions on how we could tweak who does what in this challenge, or what we do on certain parts. Now I'm going to admit a TINY bit of fault here, in that I didn't say my suggestions on the tribe flag. There are some things I think we could've done to make it better, but I love Juls, and everyone had already told her it was great, so I didn't wanna make her feel that I didn't like it or was over criticizing. So I didn't say anything. That was my bad. BUT EVERYTHING ELSE, LUV? I said We should guess lower than 610... Now granted my even 600 guess still would've been too low to win, BUT AT LEAST IT WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN OVERBOARD! HMPPHH!!!!! Or maybe we could've compromised on 605 if people hadnt IGNORED ME!!!! IDK!??!?!?! Further than that, I asked for different tweaking on the chant and nobody gave any suggestions. I'm not saying we would've won or anything had I taken the lead or that I was doing everything the right way,  obviously I wasn't since my chant got 3rd, but what I'm saying is once it became obvious the challenge was going to be about group participation and suggestion, our tribe needed to unify. Everyone in the tribe needed to have a clearer vision and talk to eachother and actually put in the EFFORT that this stuff requires. Which I'm admitting my own error, in not doing that with the flag. But our tribe was just so quiet and silent before now, which sent me down a paranoid spiral, that I was super fucking worried about my place in the tribe or where things were heading. Now I realize I'm in a good position on the tribe for sure, it's just that our tribe is STRUGGLING. ON THE (Mr.) BRIGHTSIDE!!! We lost by a tiebreaker guess, and only by 4 points.... and I'm pretty close with Juls, and it seems like a target will probably fall pretty easily onto Billy. He had the worst QWOP score, described himself as arrogant in his own intro, and just seems.. critical of others. He gives off a strange vibe. If it's not him, I'm pretty sure it'd end up being Jacob or Em. I feel that me and Juls are safe which is all that I can hope for on a tribe this freaking tiny, I instantly connected with Juls over our love of anime, the fact her name is the same as Euphoria Jules, and other stuff. As far as One World goes, I honestly keep forgetting it exists. I haven't reached out to too many of the others but have talked back to those who talk to me and it's been generally decent. I get along well with other Jacob, the not pie one. Caeleb I already know from before this and so I feel like we'd def work together, and I get good vibes from a lot of these people like Eve, Nicole, Ben, etc. Honestly I'm just so frustrated right now because things have been quiet and nervous and I'm PARANOID, and my tribe was so close to winning but fucked it up over minor things we could've tweaked had we just tried a little harder and communicated a little more. ugh, this SUCKS. now my first legacy in Tumblr Survivor is a mediocre chant (i honestly really like it and i put a LOT OF THOUGHT INTO IT OKAY....) and a trip to tribal council *Sobs* Here's hoping things take a positive turn from here...? It could always be the Bronze before my Gold! ~Hamfisted olympics metaphor~

Love my tribe a lot! However, i still feel on the outside somewhat tho.... Idk this is a lot for me I just hope we win until a swap or whatever its called ahh

Alright, Darcy back here with yet another confessional!   Here is a little update since I last posted confessional, mainly the biggest difference is now I have an ally formed with Ben.   At least, I made a deal with Ben yesterday proposing just the generic looking after one another ordeal, then going to give it some time and maybe question Beck about forming an alliance, since I've been connecting with her even more past bit, but don't want to go too fast and end up asking half my tribe right away to work with me, as I don't want to be seen as playing hard out the gate and make myself a target.   Meanwhile, I decided to give the Olympic Village searching a shot, but alas was no luck in the cafeteria cabinets, so will just have to try my luck again in the future rounds.   Thinking of searching either the South or North end of Village next round, but we shall see.   Anyways, I'm glad my tribe won Immunity, so don't have to go to tribal this round, and this Olympic Arena twist sounds great, essentially one person from each tribe goes to the Arena, I believe for the immune tribes just 1 person is selected to go to the Arena, and for the losing tribes, the two voted out go to arena, where the winner of the voted out people come back in the game, and loser is out of the game for good.   Think I read that all right, but maybe won't hurt to give it another read to double check.   For now though, I shall go, so will see you all with my next confessional.

Fuck having to go to tribal first. I don’t like having to send someone home when I don’t even really know who I’m playing with yet. 

Seems like Billy pulling the "I don't want to make any moves" to me was surprisingly bullshit. Who would've thunk. I think everyone is fine with voting out Billy here, I didn't really want to initially, but yeah, uh no. I could be in danger, but if everyone is honest here, I should be fine. Fingers crossed. "I'm either going to be first boot or win" - Pia Miranda

So, the first tribal is in a bit and we were almost sent there but managed to pull through in the tiebreaker! I hope that opens some of my tribemates eyes (lets be real, just Stoner who hasn’t been doing much of anything!) Being in One World but none of the newbies talking to me is still wild to me, half of them still haven’t even accepted my contact request. Yet they’re plenty active in the chat, so what gives? Anyway, I hope it’s just that they are intimidated by the very fact that I am beauty, and grace, and Miss United States. I hope we can win the next round, hopefully first or second place so we don’t have a close call again. We are trying to get Chris to go to the Arena so he can get us that 20% but he hasn’t answered so...what gives? On the alliance front I’m good with Kevin and Karen tribewise , the bigger picture is Kevin, Jacob and Sammy want to align and then we will have a bigger alliance that includes Beck, Juls and Eve. Eventually I might wanna break off and align with Jules and Eve, but having bigger targets around is essential. Anyway that’s all I got for now. I should start making video confessionals AS THINGS ARE HAPPENING. Ya know? Anyway toodles for now see ya next round. OH, and I’m hoping Jules and Jacob are safe this tribal :( love them and hope we can work together going forward. 

Hiiii, arena results are about to come in so I'm just gonna drop a quickie confessional before that happens. I don't honestly remember how much I talked about the strategy and gameplay that was going on, so I'll give you a quick rebriefing of that. I'm really close with Juls. Em I like, but I want more out of her. Jacob is quiet, but inoffensive. Billy, I actually like him, but there are certain things about him that just.. Rub me (and others) a strange way and that's why we voted him out because certain things he did just didn't quite gel with the rest of the team. If he does return from the arena though, it's possibly I may vouch for him over Jacob because Jacob... HE JUST NEEDS TO TALK!!! But idk. One world still SUCKS and is dragging me through the MUD because nobody wants to do cross-tribe talking me included but that gets me paranoid as FUCK, luv. About the live tribal, it was fun! My camera angle was awkward and I was soo nervous though, but I think I was still able to hold it together relatively well, act normal, and give semi-decent answers. Will definitely be improving my live tribal performance for next time so I can be a bad ass bitch on call, it's GOING to happen... dskfdsf. I love Emma on call/video sooooo much, But on text she's kind of dry. Maybe I need to ask her if I can call her sometime, but I haven't done a call for a game like this in a looong time. I'm a bit nervous about that. But yeah. I'm looking forward to the game... The first tribal just makes everything real, and you realize, oh shit, we're playing Survivor. And I forgot how thrilling it was to play in a live, video environment like that, it just grips you and it feels so much more intense than when wiki results are just posted in chat and you don't have to deal with physically seeing the person you're voting out, talking to them with your actual voice, etc. All that stuff just makes the experience that much more realistic and it's so intense and fun. I'm ready to get this game on (Btw fuck the arena twist)

hey guys im really loving this game so far... keep up the good work!

i didn’t appreciate the attitude billy gave me whenever i tried to help the team out but! i’m willing to get over it because he is a nice guy. i feel fairly comfortable with my team and i’m just hoping we can avoid another tribal! 

Hello! I can not believe I'm back for a 6th time on Tumblr Survivor this is so crazy! Especially for an Olympic season because I vowed to myself that I would never do a season again that was more than 20 people after being in Japan. Now that I'm back I'm ready to play, I haven't really came into this season with a strategy but if I did it would have changed because this is a One World season and now with the arena twist I'm sweating. One World makes the season super social (probably one of my least favorite twists) it's very easy for this season to let pre-mades and majorities take over just like that and let underdogs like me in this season to get taken out especially taken out early. So I have been social not only with me but a few people on different tribes but not too much. I don't want to seem like I'm playing too hard but I wanna build relationships before swaps happen so that people choose to ally with me (A WINNER) over a newbie or a returnee who hasn't won because I already have a big target on my back. With how the tribe divisions are it gives the newbies the biggest advantage with 15 newbies compared to 5 winners and 5 non-winner returnees, which isn't bad in a Fan vs. Favorite season because the ratio is even with returnees and newbies. However, now that I'm in the minority and also labeled a WINNER, I have to do damage control to lower my target but most importantly integrate with other people which is hard because I'm not the best social player and I know that's my weakness but I still have to attempt. In terms of my own tribe I'm closest to Kevin, when I talk to him we have a good conversation I probably already irritate him but I think out of everyone I can put my trust in him the most compared to everyone else. I think having one good ally is how I want to approach this season due to the arena twist I don't want to come across as running the tribe especially the winners tribe incase we do go to tribal because if I vote in the majority and that person stays they are immune and will be mad and spill the beans about the tribe, and I want that person to be the least mad at me so the focus is not on me. So having overall good vibes and 1 strong connection is a good strategy for the long term game. It might put me at risk for being voted out in the short term but I want to play the long-term game. Preferably if it is up to me I'd want Nicole to be the next closest to Kevin and myself without myself having to make an official deal with Nicole so I'm not seen as the ringleader. Kevin says he wants Stoner to be the first one voted out on our tribe but honestly I rather it be Karen. Stoner has the reputation keeps his target bigger than the rest and I think Karen has the better chance of flipping on the winners and succeeding than Stoner does. So my target is Karen if we do lose. I also believe that there may be an alliance with Nicole, Kevin, and Karen which I hope is not an actual alliance because that's bad news for me. I hope we don't go to tribal because I don't wanna go to a tribal with only 5 people. Wish me luck!

Whew it has been one round and i've fucked up so much its not even funny. its a little funny. anyways i start this game on a tribe of 5, i allign with connor who ive never played a game with and find some similar common ground, and with jacob who seems chill. we lose the first challenge sucks and all hell breaks loose, long story short fuck sammy. I'm trying to work my way back in caeleb and jacobs good graces. its gonna be a rocky road, but its one i've driven before

#zestypowerfuluniqueflavorfulhealthy #confessionals

[spanimator]

The Walking Dead: Final Season; Take us Back thoughts (major spoilers) 

please let me know your thoughts!

So I plan on writing an actual in depth review sometime later but I just wanted to write down my thoughts on the episode with what i loved about it and what i think could of been improved or changed! Its been 2 days since Take us Back came out so I’ve had time to better process things.

pros:

-the narration by AJ at the start is really neat and made me feel both scared and worried especially when he said “I don’t think she’s always doing the right thing, we’ve been doing a lot of bad things to save our friends..” its a spicy start to the episode

-most of the action sequences ESPECIALLY THE BARN SCENE are really cool this episode! 

-the james scene in the cave is really wack and i love it a lot! i know a lot of people liked angry james near the end of ep 3, well here’s 10 minutes of it! but really the scene was intense all around, i used to really dislike james in the scene but i have grown to understand why he acts this way, although some shots like that creepy smile is?? questionable haha.. the other branch where james is dead is intense aswell too! good job on this scene! 

-the talk in the woods with violet/louis is really nice, its much needed after all the drama that just happened! the scenes made me laugh a lot too like “texas 2″ or “thanks dad!” i love these characters so much guys. 

-WOWOW minerva and the bridge scene is really great!! i felt really bad for her its so tragic. but yeah the way she sings, limping and bitten everywhere but still pushing through is so messed up and terrifying. she looked so scary and i love the gore to it, truly is a horrific moment! however one thing, during the fight it seems like the walkers never seem to make it across the truck to you so you can literally just chill hidden the whole time.. 

-tenn’s death: i think it was handled quite well, its a very shocking moment, and very very sad.. and louis and ESPECIALLY violet’s reaction to it are really heartbreaking! voice acting was amazing. its even more messed up when minnie is happy about this (made me think of carol peletier from the comics) i also like how his death is not forgotten at the end too and its brought up. i do have some things to say about tenn’s character in general though../contrary i also enjoy what they do with him if he is kept alive, its a very heartwarming moment! 

-thinking about it just makes me teary but the scenes where clem gets bit and is slowly starting to accept it once they get to the barn is just so scary and depressing. i’m not gonna get too much into it but the barn scene is really great and the music and switching between clem and AJ is even more alarming, making the player think its over and AJ is taking the torch. also “gotcha” as clem bops aj’s nose made me crumble STOP 

-ranch flashback is really underappreciated but yeah its really great and quite traumatic. the burn victim gave me chills and Eddie’s short cameo is great! aj and clem’s moment in the car is really sweet.. and made me cry even more. i also thought the placement of the scene is perfect. 

-THE ENDING: So yeah apparently quite a few are mad about the ending but honestly I say piss off to those people, i thought the ending is a really great end to clem’s journey! i had a feeling clem would make it but prior to the scene i really thought she was dead. when i heard her speak i YELLED, got up, woke up my family and hugged my mom, i’m serious! Clem is a badass whom we’ve ventured with for YEARS, she fucking deserves the happy ending and i just get confused with those who wanted her to die?? like wtf; also the take us back scene and the dinner is just wonderful thank you so much to the team. i loved it all. also i love how aj can interact with all the collectibles what a treat! i love how aj’s thoughts were all jumbled too he’s fun to play as!

TL;DR: emotional moments are well done, ending is near perfect, visuals, colors, cinematography, voice acting and music are all great! also thank u for all the romantic moments 

cons: 

-im mixed about lilly’s portrayal this season. i expected more i guess. they kinda built her up to be kinda redeemable but at the same time its lilly.. i got kinda mad at first when you only see her for a minute! compared to james who gets more than 10 minutes of screentime. but i think i’ve grown to accept it. the way she floats away like a fucking loser is what she deserves. in a way i think its better to have her alive so she can live with all the horrible shit she’s done. and you can sorta tell she feels somewhat bad about it. BUT.. at the same time i think she’ll never learn which just makes me mad i let her get away on my main. what do you guys think of her? because at this point idk how to feel but its certainly not great. 

-i don’t like the way captured violet and louis got over their trauma so easily. Louis was visibly traumatized and shaken in the cell and soon after he’s just seen smiling. Violet feels abandoned and betrayed but soon after she’s just like “uhhh about what i said in the cell...” I think it would of been better to save that line for the ending only so violet has more time to think and heal. and while it was really sweet to see louis still being flirty and sweet i can’t help but feel there should of been an extra scene where their traumas are discussed better.

-Violet and Louis’ deaths are not good. the problem with their deaths is that they don’t feel  important, they feel like a game over death! they get eaten for 6 seconds, clementine yells “NOOOO” and AJ gets mad and slaps tenn. Then they run. I think the emphasis on their deaths and a better reaction would improve the scene a lot. Its especially frustrating if Clementine has a close or romantic relationship to these characters. there is no difference in reaction at all. She doesn’t even cry. This is why so many people restarted the episode! As cute and lovable Tenn is, the player has spent many more scenes interacting with Violet and Louis (the most important characters of the season besides AJ and Clem). Its sucks but I understand why people would wanna restart and save their lover or best friend. At the end you get a conversation with AJ and Tenn about their death (which i thought wasn’t so bad) but nothing with Clem. We get a short shot of the grave with a drawing and nothing else. I really didn’t like that.. It felt like something was really missing. Its too bad because ya know i really like the outcome if Tenn lives but i always find myself to rather have my SO live instead as bad as it sounds.. What do you guys think? 

-i feel like certain characters like mitch, aasim and omar etc. could of had more chances to shine. Mitch shines in episode 2 and dies but that’s it. I wish in episode 1 he had more screentime.. Its really too bad since he’s big favorite of mine. Aasim aswell was interesting in ep 1 and 2 but unfortunately barely got any lines in ep 3 and 4. christ’s sake omar of all people had more lines than aasim in ep 4! im very glad he got mentioned many times and romances ruby but i think more lines from him would of been nice. idk like maybe have louis tease him about ruby at the table.. something! 

-i thought the pacing and length of the episode was a little strange. this episode significantly feels shorter than the others. obviously it depends on your play style but from what i noticed this episode is about 30 minutes shorter than the others. i feel like some extra scenes could of been put in to fix some character development issues and such. 

TL;DR: character development is flawed in some spots, pacing and length issues can be bothersome 

i’ll have more to say another time but i really enjoyed this episode and i think its a great end to clementine’s journey! i know the whole caravan thing is left to be ambiguous so i think it would be so cool to have a little dlc. i’d definitely buy it. i recommend getting this season and instead of just watching let’s plays i hope some can invest in an actual copy, the team really deserves a profit! this entire season has been very solid and its my favorite of the series! not sure which episode is my favorite yet but they’re definitely all worth playing!

#twdg #the walking dead #twdg spoilers #the final season #the walking dead game #twdg clementine #twdg aj #twdg louis #twdg violet

[thugnan]

Secret of the Scarlet Hand (PC 2002)

Story: 4/10

Characters: 3/10

Puzzles: 3/10

Chores: 4/10

Final Rating: 5/10

I’ve only played this one once and I honestly can’t remember parts of it or the plot. I love that this was the first appearance of Soony Joon, but other than that all the characters fell flat for me. This one took the educational aspects of Treasure in a Royal Tower and multiplied them by 100, in a bad way. This game played more like a Broderbund game, the puzzles were obnoxious and the play through was erratic (not as linear as its predecessors). Some of the chores involved bouncing back and forth a bunch (like the quizzes). I don’t remember there being any glitches though.  

Plot (spoilers obviously)

Thug Nan gets an internship at Beech Hill, a museum hosting a super big exhibit on the Maya. From the get go you get the impression that maybe this museum can’t afford to do this? Thug Nan is like “wait a minute this internship is paid right?” 

They hand you a list of chores and tell you to get on it. They’re preparing for the exhibition of a giant rock monolith. While doing these chores you meet:

Joanna: Your boss as the museum’s curator. She appears a little young to be running the place and slightly desperate to get income into the museum. Low key she cute tho.

Henrik Vander Hoop: He’s fancy and has an accent. He’s a researcher and knows things about glyphs. Not v social for the most part. 

Ale-ale-jandro: I don’t think I was supposed to like this guy tbh, judging from the responses Nancy had for some of his SJW rants, but yo he’s not wrong. I might be biased as we are basically the same person tho. He works with the consulate and appears to have a close relationship with the museum. He hates Johana and Taylor because they’re pirates. 

Taylor Sinclair: I thought he was a lawyer for some reason? He’s an art dealer, and tbh I’m suspicious of him immediately. I think it’s the mustache. Idk what it is about it but I don’t like it. He calls you into his office because he’s concerned that someone is gonna steal from Beech Hill, which heightens my suspicion of him but whatever. 

As we continue to do errands, we get more of a feel for the museum’s financial situation. When you try to order supplies, the distributor tells you that he sent you to collections and to gtfo.

The next morning, you’re in your office when the alarm goes off, someone has stolen a jade relic of King Pacal’s. The cops come and go, you ask Joanna about it and she gives you the a-ok to snoop up in there. She appears to care more about collecting that insurance monies. Suspicious but ok. 

Henrik is apparently also nowhere to be seen? Suspicious but ok. 

Alejandro and Taylor subtly mention that they were both in the building at the time of the robbery. Idk why either of them would incriminate themselves like that? Suspicious but ok. 

You get a call from Franklin Rose, your dad’s friend that hooked you up with the internship. He’s like legally speaking I need u to investigate this. So Thug Nan is like “aw yee, I’ma do it because you told me to, and not because suspicious Taylor told me to.” 

The robbers left a calling card, because you know, all the smart robbers do that right? Also idk how the cops dropped the ball on this one because the culprit’s calling card is A HAND PRINT. I’da been running the show I would just hand printed everyone in the building, and called it a day. 

So you gotta do some more tedious chores, which you only are able to pull of because the wack who had your internship before you left a bunch of drawings as hints. Soony Joon, I’ma tell u now that I think you’re a mad lad, but also thank you for ur service. 

You get in contact with some other folks that were also struck by the thieves who hit Beech Hill. They send you some more clues. 

THEN HENRIK IS YEETED DOWN THE STAIRS (seriously, what is the deal with this series and stair yeeting?) I’m going to say now that the stairs that Henrik fell down were a lot taller than those of El Paso High School, I’m just saying, idk how Henrik didn’t die but ok. 

Homeboy has amnesia. Johana was booted out of the building for mismanaging the museum and being overall suspicious. You and I know what this means right? Time to trespass go thru everyone’s shit. 

Johana was not happy about being booted out, and begs you to prove that she didn’t steal the pacal relic so the cops will let her go and the board will let her back into the building. I don’t really want to do that but I guess.

I made zero effort to talk Franklin into letting her back in whoops 8D. But she can’t say I didn’t call him. 

Meanwhile Henrik’s nurse/therapist hits you up like “yo he kept saying ur name in his sleep so we think it’s a good idea for you to visit. You can help him get his memory back” Yeah? Well remember that I said that he wasn’t v social? I legit know NOTHING about him, especially since his desk is all locked up. Idk why he was saying my name in his delirium but I hope that he knows that I am completely loyal to Frank Hardy  Ned, and if I were to cheat on him it woulda been with my sweet Maddie in Stay Tuned for Danger. I guess I don’t blame Henrik tho, erryone wants a piece of this Thug Nan. What can I say? I live dangerously. (Altho for once I haven’t been attempted murdered) 

While trying to jog Henrik’s memory you find out:

Henrik probably maybe stole the Pacal, but it sounds like he had Taylor logic. He stole it so the real thieves wouldn’t steal it?

He’s in cahoots with smugglers

Alejandro called the cops on Johana, and needs Thug Nan to “borrow” some papers from her. I don’t like the way he went about it but I respect the balls on this man. 

You gotta find like 5 other relics to open the dumb monolith… great. I still don't know why would want to?

Pacal (the real dood not the relic) built the monolith to suffocate a scribe/reporter that was too nosy for her own good. My dood was harsh.

Thug Nan finds the Pacal because well… she had to. And slowly but surely it begins to come together. Tbh the plot to this game was so convoluted, that I wouldn’t have figured out what I had to do without calling Frank and Joe every other second. 

Somehow I gather all the relics I needed to open the damn box, and you know I’m starting to think. If this Pacal guy didn’t want this scribe lady to ever be found why the eff would he make a key to the tomb in the first place? Whatever. I open the box and T A Y L O R  S I N C L A I R LOCKS ME IN THERE WITH A THOUSAND YEAR OLD ROTTING CORPSE.  THIS MAN IS ABOUT TO FEEL THE WRATH OF THUG NAN. 

Anyway, getting out of there was not that hard, my girl the scribe shoulda made more of an effort, but hey she didn’t have a handy dandy glowstick like moi. When I got out Johana, Alejandro, and a recovered Henry were on the other side waiting? Instead of helping me? They were v creepily like “YOU DID IT NANCY WE KNEW YOU WOULD.” Except they used Dr. Seuss rhymes to tell me this which only made it creepier. Also they knew it was Sinclair without me telling them? Which is like cool but WhY DiDnT U StOp hIm. They play it off as “well he stole the fake stuff” THEY LITERALLY HAD NO WAY OF KNOWING THAT.  

Um, the end?

They left a couple of plot holes unresolved I think? Like Henrik having connections with smugglers. Why did he steal the pacal in the first place? What did he know about Taylor? Who pushed him off the pyramid? Or did he really fall? Alejandro seemed to be peachy with Beech Hill after he found out that the Pacal’s papers were legit? And Johana never asked me about the missing papers, she was also let off with a warning? Okie dokes. 

#nancy drew games #her interactive #secret of the scarlet hand #old school games #shitty game reviews #nancy drew

[flockofdoves]

literally so grateful i just found this???? this has been a huge wall in front of me these past few days since realizing how much disordered eating over the past few months has affected me, having to start entirely reevaluating how i’ve been approaching my relationship with food in the name of not neglecting my chronic illness stuff and how that exact same attitude of trying to make myself better actually just made me fuck up my digestive tract by avoiding certain foods (and food in general bc theres so much its so overwhelming and also now i’m too nauseous and weak to have an appetite!) and by extension make my chronic illness worse. and then now reading about refeeding i was worried because so much refeeding stuff seems to recommend a lot of dairy products and i even before these last few months dairy hasn’t been good for me for over a year (although not just lactose i was thinking it was casein too but also like . lol idk maybe its just another one of the phenomena thats talked about here) and wasn’t sure how to balance that when avoidance of foods i see as triggers for health got me here in the first place and at this point literally anything is gonna be too much for my gut and i gotta tough through that

uhhhh turned into a rant/vent about things unrelated to the article under this

kinda distressing though tbh to think about what IBS even like . Means . lol like it does make sense to see it more as a small part of the bigger picture of all my stuff and how my nerves and shit or w/e are wired as someone labeled in contemporary times as/with autistic/adhd/ocd/schizo/anxiety/fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue and its comforting to see it more as a symptom of how i can easily get out of wack from there instead of just. eternally always bad (although i was getting okay with that too like i value parts of myself enough i could deal with that being reality without too much mourning beyond how i have no accommodation under capitalism. but still this is better than that even) but its weird finding ways of saying i don’t have to lean into it too much that don’t kinda just trigger me thinking about doctors/peers/etc whove more just saw me as a burden and didn’t care to listen to me before dismissing things as all in my head thus i was exaggerating and not deserving of compassion/care/etc. i know i don’t mean that towards myself but the nuance is a lot to deal with after so recently having that used to hurt me all over again and then in trying to take care of myself actually hurting myself worse. so that adds a weird layer to things i hope i won’t get a complex about lolol but also i guess thats cool i don’t have to beat myself up for not sticking to a fodmap free diet or deciding it wasn’t worth trying to see if i had a gluten intolerance because the food i’d be avoiding would make me more upset than any pain i deal with. like ... whoa.. i wasn’t actually being unreasonable or ridiculous when i thought that or being self destructive?? and i started considering otherwise when i now realize i was already dealing with ED symptom stuff so like . i can tolerate most foods i think at least some of the time??

really curious if i can regain my lactose tolerance considering i only starting being intolerant in the past year so it wasn’t a primary lactose intolerance thing maybe?? and i had some on and off symptoms of my current behaviors that lead to this that whole time so that’d be really cool actually lol i miss just being able to enjoy dairy products (and in retrospect my aversion to even tasting them even with lactaid pills or somethign definitely was liek...... disordered eating stuff lol) 

also curious if my ED stuff had anything to do with my tremors or brain fog getting worse. i defintiely think at least somewhat like yeah. the timeframe makes sense. idk if thats the primary reason for those symptoms because i’ve had them at various points in my life in that combination but the recent upsurge in them and also the fact that most of those days were right after really bad nausea days and also how today i realized i was tremoring a lot in ways i directly associated with feeling weak because of trying to deal with ED related stuff i think that definitely will at least become less constant of a problem in getting over this. those are all symptoms i exhibit in various contexts with various physical and emotional pressures so i don’t think thats their only cause but i think that really does make me so much less worried about why the hell i’ve gotten so much worse so suddenly

scared about how long this will take i feel like i’ve only really had my eating become consistently disordered over the past couple months but idk i’ve had weird episodes for ages and if i really didn’t recognize this was even a problem til right this week idk if i’m thinking back accurately enough. its definitely worse in that period though bc my doctor 2 months ago (also wait... i guess that means its been even longer lol?? no way i lost that all in the couple weeks i really can look back and see my behavior as disordered before that appointment) remarked i lost like 15 pounds since my last visit 3 months ago (they also remarked like that was a good thing lol.) so i guess i’ll keep figuring that out its wild though reading that apparently just getting your stomach back to normal can take at least 2 months like it makes sense but like . jeez. hard to process that i did that and didn’t realize i’d like to think i’ve become so much more in tune with my body these past few years but i guess i’m not doing it the right way even if i’m glad i no longer just stay quiet and tough things out while suffering and dismissing it with no idea whats going on or why and feeling too ashamed and guilty to make it anyone elses problem and not pushing back when others dismiss the slightest thing i bring up. but yeah like i did a lot more than i thought i did with this but also i’m glad i caught it so early i feel almost too weird about saying i have an eating disorder like its like i acknowledged that this week and now i’m trying to recover so. thats good. idk i’ll see i’m sure i have a lot to learn and that kinda sucks i had enough to deal with already without this as a factor but!!!!

#cpost #ed - #disordered eating - #eating disorders - #food text -

[howllscastle]

50 questions tag

tagged by: @pinktea99

tagging: @renjungita @forehead-enthusiast @bitchendery @yanggerm @0hyja @midsummerenjun

hiding all the tea under the cut 🤠

1. what takes up too much of your time?

kpop,, so in turn tumblr and youtube also overthinking ,,, love that

2. what makes your day better?

talking to my friends, little pleasant surprises, when my cat does something cute

3. what’s the best thing that happened to you today?

honestly idk,,, today has blended together into nothingness but my fish just ate his food without being angry at me the whole time so that was nice

4. what fictional place would you like to go to?

hogwarts !!! its so pretty there and it would be so fun to learn all about magic and discover all the little hidden parts of the castle, lay with your friends by the great lake,,, ok i’ll stop now

5. are you good at giving advice?

i think it depends on the advice but i try to help as well as i can 

6. do you have a mental illness?

social anxiety 😎 and possibly depression but i’m too scared to go see a therapist

7. have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

no and i’m thankful for that

8. what musician inspires you the most?

tbh taeyong 

9. have you ever fallen in love?

with renjun 😍 ok i’m sorry but honestly i think i’ve only experienced rly intense /like/ 

10. what’s your dream date?

this is like specific but there’s a museum district near me and walking around there would be rly nice,,, just walking through the streets,,, visiting art galleries and museums,,, maybe going to the zoo,,, go into all the cool little stores,,, : (

11. what do others notice about you?

people who have met my dad ALWAYS say how i look like him but otherwise it’s probably my hair ? idk people seem to like curly hair

12. what’s an annoying habit you have?

picking at my lips omfg i need to STOP

13. do you still talk to your first love?

well not Love but yeah hdjdk

14. how many exes do you have?

just one 🤠

15. how many songs are in your playlist?

i have ,, lots of playlists but i have 721 saved songs,,,, more if u count songs in playlists i don’t have saved,,,

16. what instruments can you play?

uH zero but i could play a Mean xylophone in elementary music class

17. what do you have the most pictures of?

kpop idols,,,

18. where would you like to go before you die?

europe !! i want to travel around europe and visit as many countries as i can, also japan ! especially during cherry blossom season !

19. what’s your zodiac?

virgo sun, aqua moon, cap rising

20. do you relate to it?

for the most part i’d day yeah, i still don’t know /that/ much about astrology hdsjkd

21. what is happiness to you?

that feeling of standing in the sun for the first time in a while, feeling all warm inside doing the things that make you smile

22. are you going through anything right now?

hm yeah ,,

23. what’s the worst decision you ever made?

probably,, not putting in the effort to talk to my friends a lot this past year,,,

24. what’s your favorite store?

there’s this one local thrift store near me and uGH it’s amazing i’ve found great stuff there, and also this japanese convenience store called daiso i could spend all day in there

25. what’s your opinion about abortion?

i feel that women should have the choice whether they’re going to have one or not without being attacked by the other side for their decision

26. do you have a bucket list?

not rly djkhj

27. do you have a favorite album?

i have . many favorite albums, some include limitless by nct 127, hozier’s self titled album, and basically all of day6′s albums

28. what do you want for your birthday?

,, money but also i could always use more face masks and stationary 

29. what are people’s first impressions of you?

that i never talk like,, ever 💀 which . is relatively true,, until i get to know you and get more comfortable

30. what age do you seem according to most people?

once a cashier asked if i was a freshman in college,,,, surprisingly lots of people think i’m older than i am, tho me and my mom did joke that i probably look like a 12 year old when driving and people might call cps on her ahhjksdhf

31. where do you keep your phone while sleeping?

on my nightstand which is literally like . 1 foot from my face

32. what word do you say the most?

like,, um ,, what ,, so

33. what’s the oldest age you would date?

that’s kinda hard to answer since i’m still so young ,,, but at the moment maybe 19 ??

34. what’s the youngest you would date?

again ,,, kinda hard but at the moment,,, probably 16 but as i get older i’d be more comfortable with a bigger gap

35. what job/career do most people say would suit you?

lot’s of people say artist,, my parents think i’d make a good baker and jokingly they also say lawyer bc i argue so much hjskdh

36. what’s your favorite music genre?

well ,, kpop but that’s like 500 genres all in one,,, i also rly like indie/alternative the occasional pop and pop rock thrown in there

37. if you could live in any country in the world, where would it be?

england ! i’ve a l w a y s wanted to live there omg, or italy !

38. what is your current favorite song?

two i’ve been listening to on repeat lately are take off by wayv and lips on lips by tiffany young 

39. how long have you had this blog for?

this one,,, only like 3 months but my previous blog was like ,, a few years old

40. what are you excited for?

our up coming vacation(s) !!! one might not happen but the other is and i’m !!! also my mom wants to “do something fun” this week (we were supposed to go on one of those vacations this week sO) and i’m excited for going out and doing ,, whatever it is we come up with

41. are you a better talker or listener?

oh listener definitely, i’m so bad at talking about my feelings out loud 

42. what was the last productive thing you did?

i did some laundry,,, also worked on summer school earlier today

43. what do you want for christmas?

same as my birthday but i also just remembered ,, a switch !! i’ve wanted one for so long ,,

44. what class do you get the best grades in?

usually history and german (hallo yangyang,,) also did amazing in bio freshman year let’s hope that carries over to ap bio next year

45. on a scale of 1-10 how do you feel right now?

i’d say ,, a 7 which is wack usually it’s lower

46. what can you see yourself doing in ten years?

hopefully have a good stable job,, a good relationship,,, be healthy mentally and physically ,,, 

47. when did you get your first heartbreak?

can losing a friend count as a heartbreak ,,, bc if so ,,, a few years ago

48. at what age do you want to get married?

i have absolutely no idea ahhjksdh

49. what career did you want to have as a child?

i wanted to be a vet soooo badly but now i can barely handle the sight of blood so,,, sorry 8 year old ally

50. what do you crave right now?

honestly ,,, to just go out and do something,,,, i’ve been stuck in the house since friday 

#this was so . long . #but i'm like hype rn it was fun typing all this out hdskjh #i rly talk too much i'm sorry #tag game #and feel free to not do this at all

[yukippe]

UGH im rlly back in my anne of green gables phase press f

ok now im going to talk about my feelings on Anne. 

books = blessed. i will admit that its wack that anne’s a conservative bc her family is n she really doesn’t know anything about the tories fsgfhhdhs but! i will also so that the amount of god n praying is rlly funny n my mom made me catholic just by giving me these books like. little me mustve been holy based off all this praying n sunday school in the book. n . i Dig it. wack. its also blessed that anne doesnt actually start liking gilbert until halfway through the 2nd book like - bruh i love that she just full up like competing with him for top marks n barely cared about him el oh el. also EVERYTHING from redmond college hits me right. like anne n the weirdo...anne getting engaged...anne’s fiance’s sister being surprised she isnt bored by him...anne breaking the engagement n falling in love with gilbert n realizing it when hes so sick he might die n then he gets better n rushes to her side n They get engaged. like. im soft babey. BUT! its not a love story! even though in anne of avonlea theres the line, “If Gilbert had been asked to describe his ideal woman rhe description would have answered point for point  to Anne, even to those seven tiny freckles who’s obnoxious presence still continued to vex her soul.” like gilbert has been in love with her since he saw in her class and called her carrots bruhhh. Okay that was not the point whatsoever i just read that quote and wanted to include in anyways. anne doesn’t have romantic love story but she has a love story with the world and thats what the books are about. so like the first movie was rlly off lol, the others were better but i think a good bit of them focused too much on gilbert when she actually barely talks to him until like half way through the second book. while she definitely stresses about his opinion in book 1 its the second one when she acknowledges hes attractive and values him as friend. but! its the THIRD book where they actually start shit at the end of the book but AGAIN- windy poplars is just letters. no contact. we literally have to wait like 4 books to see them together all the time n then they have kids and the story starts to be handed over to the kids like.  anne’s story definitely highlights gilbert but it also highlights marilla and matthew and diana and mrs lynde and stella and priscilla and even jane andrews and ruby gillis. if they are not all highlights then wyd.  tbh i think anne with an e captures that her story is MORE than dianagilbertmarrillaandmatthew and it gets that shes also in love with the WORLD the only thing i have with anne with an e is that it forgets for the most part that anne is always supposed to be the light story that brings your day hope, that avonlea and green gables is where she reached everything gentle in her life. she found god, and friends and family and puffed sleeves! and that should be the focus! her imagination should always bring her better things! and anne with an e is definitely realistic i guess but its always way too dark for me to really be able to love it truly. like i love the cast, its one of my favourite casts for anne n co (except for ruby tho my personal favourite ruby gillis actually goes to my school so that might be a bias but whatever) but yeah! and i think part of the problem with anne with an e is that its told through a tv format and i think with certain books tv is a rlly bad field! n anne’s story is just not told best thru the current trends in tv. anne with an e is a rlly good show that i like but i cant love it as an anne adaptation, i have to love it separately, yaknow?

n of course, like it briefly mentioned above the books r dated n not perfect n dont have the best outlook on tings n honestly is probably not the best book for the average person bc its about an 11-17 yr old ginger white girl in the late-early 1900s which is why the anne with an e series is better at looking to a bigger more modern n diverse audience. if only it couldve captured more hope along with tackling important issues n having diversity n rep :,). but i guess it being “realistic” is more important or smth. idk.

nyways. stan anne shirley <3

#🧚babble

[yeonjuins]

AJADKJAS no yeah I get it and yes! I know what clip you’re talking about- it’s so funny that mark will gush over someone but when someone does it to him he’s like 🤨 SKSKSK but I’ll link the video where I saw the clip in

ohhh okay it would be good thing if it’s just that you’re waking up at 7am because it could be easier to fix if you’re able to (like if you don’t have any classes or anything) but yay! congrats on finishing it! ♡︎♡︎♡︎ and make sure to rest well ♡︎♡︎♡︎

AJSKSKDKKD mood though- no literally me too!! like I just felt so bleh today but I forced myself to go because my attendance is wack. and I’m literally on the verge of tears because I have two exams already on Thursday like… idk maybe my perception of time has been off but it seems like I just took the other exams I did-

oh oh okay I remember that now KSKSSK I didn’t know they had a character limit for asks though but I should’ve know since there’s a character limit for tags lol but !! at least I’m getting by with the copy and paste

me tooo like I can’t dance worth of nothing but i absolutely love watching choreography videos there was a time where that was all I watched and I subscribed to like so many and like that would be the only thing I watched AKSKSK I would be happy to hear your tangent about dances at some point though!!

AJSKSKDKDKD its okay thank you for sharing but here you gooooo https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTdmrJDSo/ it’s the fourth clip

no literally they actually add the previous tags for me and I’m like ???? It’s funny but not funny that every update they do is either horrible or not necessary

(lengthy response!)

my dear love i am wiping your tears away ): ur exam is tomorrow i hope u do well my dearest i believe in you so much.. omg btw if you don't mind me asking, what time zone are you in ;0 i'm in est for reference (just wondering cause you were mentioning dates and im like oh hm you are in the future !??! are you in the past !?!? are we in the same time ?!??! DID YOU ALRDY TAKE UR EXAM /?!?!)

I LOVE THAT TIKTOK YOU SENT SO MUCH ASHUDJKAMW MARK HYUCK DYNAMIC >> i love their brotherly love for one another it makes me very ((":

for some reason the weather here recently got SO BAD ?! IT BEGAN SNOWING ?!?! D: which is so ironic because i was like overheating yesterday in my room but then this happened....

i slept at like 3am last night but SURPRISINGLY i didn't take a nap in the library... i think the insanity is getting to me so i am awake off of sheer will power right now ;; since the weather went to shit and it's cold in my house, i've just been trying to kill time at my internship because there's really nothing for me to do but i feel guilty if i clock in hours without actually doing anything </3 trying to busy myself with dumb things but i end up just scrolling through tumblr and contemplating some things

i feel like my days lately has been literally me just killing time... waiting for something to pass until the next event happens

ONNN THE BRIGHT SIDE !!! i do have stuff happening in april it's literally just the days in between that make me 🥴i'm going to see an orchestra on friday with my friend !!!!!!!!! I'M SO EXCITED !!!!!!!!!!!!!! and then i have a whole week off soon so HOPEFULLY I CAN !! FUCKING !!! FIX MY SLEEPING SCHEDULE !! MAYBE I'LL MAKE A GFX !!! IDK anyways i hope ur exam goes well my love mwuah ktihes

#asks #humming anon

[dearbagelgirl]

Dear Bagel Girl

damn what a day...

I woke up and really debated about going to class lmao :( i didnt pay attention much and i knew some stuff about what she was saying but meh. I was reading your email instead and smiling and shit :] 

Afterwards, instead of doing homework or napping like i usually do in between my classes, I went to eat asap and finish my lab that’s due in the beginning of my class. And then in lab my eye was twitchy and shit and im like kill me. I was knocking out

Then I ran home and knocked out for like 40 mins and fuck i woke up right when it was getting good. And went to work. It was a gameday so I expected to die but it wasnt so bad because today we actually had more workers than usual and it was lit cause I worked with my dude Michael who I never really work with and we WERE GETTING SHIT DONE. 

I came home at 9:30 and rn (it’s 10:30) im in Martha’s room just chilling and talking...

I’m debating what to do. Idk if i can get coffee ... i shouldnt cause then I wont sleep and i’ll forsure die tomorrow during my midterm. But im debating how late to stay up. I forsure have homework to do and some of that homework is helping me study for my midterm but then IDK what to study and practice for tonight. Cause tomorrow I was hoping to go to the gym again but I think i should use that time to study..and I have to eat and do my shot and shower so its like fuck. AND my professor still has class before our midterm so its like CONLEY SERIOUSLY???

lmao i saw my professor on a date maybe? at my job lmao i was gonna say hi but he doesnt know me cause I’ve never really interacted with him but im like “you really having fun the day before our midterm?” smh

Anyways, okay about your foot..babe like this sounds bad? like go to the doctor? especially if its been a couple of days. is there anything noticeable on your foot? like a bump? if not like..idk but maybe you should go to the doctor if it keeps hurting and if the pain gets worse. 

and oh okay..so like lMAO ima tell you this cause its funny of how Diane reacted to this and stuff. I hope you dont get upset but i hope you laugh and dont worry <3.. so idk if you remember but I think i mentioned her in a blog post before about this girl in my lab, Elizabeth. I text her for lab shit and just the class in general. And then she asked for my snapchat and im like yeah here its cool. And im like yeah I should make more friends especially in this class where i can die. And then the next day after i gave her my snapchat (this was like last week i think or maybe 2 weeks ago) i saw her in lab and she was very talkative and im like okay cool we’re talking more about other shit besides lab. And then she just got really close and im like personal space? and then in lab, im listening to what my TA is saying and I have my arm resting on the desk. And all of a sudden, she holds like my arm/hand and im like 0.o and i feel really fucking uncomfortable so i give her a look like wyd and then im like “oh she’s probably just trying to look at my watch to see the time” but then its like theres a clock on her computer and she could’ve just asked instead of holding my hand for more than 10 seconds. And when i make my face, she’s like “oh haha I wanted to see THE TYPE of watch you had” and im like “oh..yeah it’s Neff” and im like wtf...you could’ve asked though why you holding my hand..and then..fuck she said some other shit like “your snaps are so funny” and now idk if you’ve seen the new sc update but its ugly and also hard to see people’s stories now AND SHE’S ALWAYS THE FIRST ONE TO SEE MY SHIT and im like lol its nothing its nothing. But then I told Sandra this and she’s like “she’s trying to do something” and im like NO DONT SAY THAT IM UNCOMFORTABLE AND I WAS JUST TRYING TO MAKE A FRIEND. And then she’s been saying little things and im like either you just dont understand what you’re doing or you do. And it’s like I post you on my story and i told Sandra “she should know i have a gf..i’ve posted it all over my sc and Im gonna mention my girl next chance I get”

Anyways lmao so I tell Diane..and she’s like “WTF TELL THIS STRAIGHTY TO BACK OFF” AND I STARTED DYING LMAO “STRAIGHTY” and she’s like “MMMM JOCELYN MAY NOT BE HERE TO DO SOMETHING BUT I AM. I LIKE JOCELYN. SHE STAYS. TELL THIS LITTLE FRIEND OF YOURS TO STOP” and yeah I WAS DEAD. But the girl has been chill finally cause I mentioned you and yeah i love you <3 but yeah that’s the thing its nothing big 

LMAO today my coworker Daniel came up to me like “aye Vick..how real you feeling?” and i started dying and im like “whats up? what you need?” and hes like “..can you cover some of my shift Saturday?” and i said yeah :( smh so now im working WACk

btw, idk how but let me know how we should fill out this form. email? and then I can just drop it off? or? :o

I really miss you beautiful :( so much 

I love you. I hope you had a good day <3 thanks for sending me your freckles 

-ya know who it is

February 15, 2018

[345pm]

Hey, y’all. I’m back with another rant bc yeah.

I doubt anyone reads what I write, but if you’ve read my other rant, I was talking about this guy I liked a little bit. Mostly thought he was cute. He still is tho. Well, that’s shits over & canceled. Lol! Nah, he didn’t do anything wrong to me. My crush started fading. Plus, I heard he doesn’t even truly like black girls like that. That he just dates us for clout & shit. Idk how true that is though.

Anyways. There’s another guy I like (: He’s a cute ass white guy. I think we’re about the same height. He’s maybe like 3 inches taller than me? Idk, but it doesn’t bother me @ all. Well, I think he’s gorgeous. He’s kinda dorky looking, but that’s what I like about him. His voice isn’t all that deep, but you can tell he’s a man if you heard his voice but didn’t see his face. I feel like he’s a little bit older than me. Like maybe mid 20’s? He likes women, but idk if he’ll like bc I’m 19 going on 20 in a few months. Like I don’t want to come off as childish or something if I ask him out or ask him if he has social media. I know you can’t just make assumptions about people, but he doesn’t strike me as the type to really be on Snapchat & shit. He’s always smiley & happy. He’s so nice & helpful too. When he sees me, he speaks. We don’t have long conversations or anything, mostly joking around about work, (him closing) but that’s about it. I still enjoy it tho. So, I want to try to talk to him about stuff other than work. Like try to lead the conversation to other topics to try to get to know him a little more. I tried to get a job where he works too, but I haven’t been having any luck lately. Imma keep trying bc I actually do want to the bc I’m tired of the shit I’m doing.

But like I said about the guy I’m crushing on, I’m worried he won’t like me. I know it happens, some people simply aren’t interested. I usually do like people, but I’m feeling like I’m lacking the looks. I’m nothing special. I’m not all that & a bag of chips. I’m not that confident & I’m kinda weird. Not to sound like a pick me bitch. I just don’t wanna scare my mans off. Lmao. I ain’t even gonna lie, I thought about staying after work one day on a Sunday since I know he closes & just hiding on the side of the building until he walks out just so I can see what type of car he drives. Or if he’s walking, I can follow behind him to see where he lives. Lmfaoooo. I’m lowkey serious though. I’ve been thinking about doing that shit for a minute but I don’t wanna be weird. JDSKSKSK. Also, I stopped going in the break room but I know he still goes in there. He sits in left chair that’s in front of the tv. I’ve been trying to see what kind of phone he has, but he holds that damn phone so tight in his hand I can barely see. Lmaoooo. My friend says it’s an iPhone tho. Not sure if it’s still the same, but last time I saw, he had a blue otter box on it. Maaaaaaan, if I catch that phone laying around anywhere—- Lmfao.

There’s a clothing store next to where we work, so I’m going apply there. If I get the job, then on my breaks, I’ll go in. If I see him, I’m doing to try to talk to him. Here’s how I imagined this going. Probably sounds lame af, but: I walk in & see him & I’ll say hey. I know he’ll speak back & I’ll ask if he remembers me from the demos. And if he says yes, I’ll says good. And tell him I just stopped in on my break to see a few friends. I haven’t seen your handsome face in forever so I thought I’d say hey too. Gotta make sure he realizes that I’ve called him handsome lol. And then ask him how the jobs going & try to lead that to a different convo. Flirt a lil bit, but try to to go overboard. He’s does stock so he won’t have too much time to talk to me. So I wanna try to end the convo before he does. Imma say bye & hopefully he’ll be looking @ my booty while I walk away. Lmfaoooooo. What y’all think? Was that shit I just typed wack? Idk, that’s how I’m imagining this in my head.

I just kinda upset myself, I realized he most likely wouldn’t even notice I’m gone. Fuck LMFAOOOOI’mhurtafOOOOOO. Nah, but imma attemp to step out of my comfort zone & y’all to him a little more. I can’t figure out what to say though? Should I just be straight up? That would be the more rational thing to do.

I’m 19 going on 20, but I don’t have a car. Not even my license, or permit. I don’t have my own place either. So I thought that might bother him? I feel behind in life. Whatever. I’m going to get my shit together. For now, he seems so cute & pure. I wanna get to know him. I wonder if he’s freaky af, but I can’t bring myself to think about him like that a lot. Not bc I ain’t sexually attracted to him bc I definitely am, but he’s just to adorable! Looool! I don’t want to disrespect him, you know? Its just different with him so far. I think about it sometimes though bc he’s quiet. Quiet people are usually freaky af. I’d let him do anything to me. I would honestly let him spit in my mouth if he wanted to. Like I’m deadass. Maybe that quietness is just @ work? Not sure how he is outside of work. Speaking of that, i wanna know where he shops @ & shit outside of work. I wanna “accidentally” run into him. Lol. Gotta make sure I’m looking cute though.

I’m a little sleepy, so I’m gonna go lay down. I’ll have to edit this to add in more cute stuff about him. But these rants I do on here truly make feel a bit better. I hope they can make y’all feel better & laugh too. Lol. Goodnight (: I’m sure no one reads these, but I’m going to give an update on how it goes with us. Wish me luck! (:

#345pmrants