#but the body..... oh the body my biggest enemy but outside and in

[cowardlycowboys]

bad body days like oh great i want to off myself but I won't even be pretty at my funeral

#omg kiera no one cares #'bad body days' isn't that everyday?? #i was hungry after work so i ATE and now i want to die because oh my god why do i look like that!!!! #cruelest thing to happen to me is to be hungry like wtf #i just want to be HOT WHEN I DIE MY FUNERAL IS MY BIG DAY #AND I'M SO UGLY I CAN'T EVEN DIE NOW CAUSE I'LL LOOK DISGUSTING #face is okay minus a zit wanting to come on my nose but isn't #you can't tell it just hurts #but the body..... oh the body my biggest enemy but outside and in #anyway gotta go get my hip mole looked at 😔 and be reminded of what i look like

[changetyre]

Not like this (P3) II Charles Leclerc x Reader (Mafia AU)

SUMMARY: After losing everything you seek out your biggest and longest-standing enemy to finish it all.

WARNING: Violence, blood, mentions of death

A/N: This one's also short but I've been super busy and haven't had much time to write so this was the best I could do ;(

"For the record, I don't think this is a good idea" Charles spoke as he drove through the familiar streets at night, the two cars behind him containing some of his own men the only thing in sight. 

"You invited yourself so you don't get to opine." You refuted.

 "This is my car, you're carrying my guns and wearing clothes that I bought you I think I have enough reason to opine." Charles bit back. 

"No one told you to let me live...in fact, I told you to kill me so you chose that yourself-" You were going to argue. 

"Shut up we're here." Charles interrupted you before you could carry on. 

You saw him drive into a hidden road that led to your house which you believed only very few people knew about not including him. "How did you?" You turned to him as he continued driving. 

Charles smirked but kept his eyes on the road. "You're not the only sneaky one here." 

"Stop the car here, we'll have to walk the rest of the way if we want to go unnoticed." You chose to ignore his previous comment as you were coming closer to your estate.

You both got out of the car and stayed close to the tree line as you approached the house, Charles's men surrounding the other side of the estate in case they saw anything. 

"Why the fuck do you need this much land," Charles complained as he wiped some sweat off his forehead from how long you'd been walking. 

"More space more control, more people less possibility of someone entering without me knowing...more control." You once again repeated his own words adjusting them slightly earning a glare from him. 

"Well obviously that logic didn't work...did it?" Charles also used your own words against you but you had to admit it hurt more than you'd imagined. 

Charles noticed how you found no humor in his words instead clearing your throat to disguise the knot that intended to build in it. 

"Obviously not." You said in a volume that Charles wouldn't have heard if the silence around you hadn't been so significant. 

You were finally coming up on the house and your breath hitched at the bodies you could see laying by the stairs leading up to the main door. 

"Are they-" But before Charles could finish asking you'd already run up the closest body. 

"Oh my god Ava." You placed your hand on the woman's cheek who lay lifeless right in front of you. 

Charles kept a look out at your surroundings making sure nobody was watching now that you were in plain sight and luckily the place seemed to have been abandoned after the attack. 

You then quickly moved on to the next bodies by the stairs. "Elijah...Michael." You closed their eyes saying a small prayer hoping they'd found rest. 

"You knew all of their names?" Charles asked in a quiet tone not wanting to disturb the silence. 

"There might've been a lot of people working for me...but they were all family. Every single one of them." Charles didn't miss the way a tear fell before you wiped your eyes quickly. 

You continued your way into the house in the same silence as before not taking it for granted that you hadn't seen or heard anyone around so far. Inside it was worse than outside, with bodies everywhere it was impossible not to step on the blood that had filled the once-white floors. 

Charles let you take your time noticing the way you struggled to continue without at least sparing a glance at the men and women who only a few hours before were guarding you. 

"I'm-" Charles wasn't sure what to say but maybe letting you hear he was sorry for you would make it better except he didn't get the opportunity. 

"Let's go upstairs." You shut him down before he could even get a word in. 

Charles could see his men come in from the back door and signaled for them to have a look around downstairs to which they happily obliged. He followed you upstairs as you moved through the space with ease until arriving at what he would assume was your room. 

He watched as your hand dropped to your side, the gun you held almost slipping from your grasp as you took in the state of your once sacred space but even more so the woman who lay dead by the foot of your bloodied bed. 

It took him completely by surprise when you dropped to your knees in front of the woman and saw how your body shook with the tears you were finally letting escape. 

Charles didn't know what to do so simply stepped closer hoping you were able to feel his presence wondering if it had all become too much or if this had been someone truly special. 

"Her name was Liz- Elizabeth." You began. "She...she was like a mother to me and-" the knot in your throat stopped you for a second. "She helped me escape. She ran to my room as soon as she heard the attack and found me trying to get my guns to fight back but-" your tears increased as you remembered. "She told me to go. She said they could handle it and that I should go." You rested your forehead against Elizabeth in tears. "I knew what would happen and I still left." 

Charles wasn't sure what he was feeling but he had a sudden urge to hug you an urge he would've acted upon if it hadn't been for his men running into the room. 

"Gens arrivent." They whispered, guns drawn. 

"We have to go c,mon." Charles lowered himself to your level. 

You clutched Elizabeth a little harder before placing a kiss on her cold and colorless cheek and leaving her behind. 

"Someone's coming, there's cars," Charles whispered to you as he could see the headlights through the window of her room.

"Come." You took his hand dragging him with you. 

You entered your bathroom and Charles was convinced you had gone insane if it hadn't been for the fact that you pulled your whole bathroom sink and counter out to reveal a hidden passage. 

"What the-" He was impressed. 

His men ran through and ahead but Charles stared at the door in awe. 

"Hurry!" You whispered pushing him in before following yourself and closing the door behind you. 

As soon as she shut the door the dark passage illuminated revealing a long and dark corridor. "This is how I escaped." 

"You walked all the way from here to my place with a gunshot wound through your stomach," Charles asked as you began to walk through the passage. 

"Adrenaline can make you do crazy things." You responded not bothering to look back at him. 

"Why exactly did you go to my place?" Charles rushed to catch up to you. 

"I told you, I wanted you to kill me." You once again avoided his eyes. 

"If you wanted to die you would've simply let yourself bleed out" Charles grabbed your arm stopping you from walking. 

"Wouldn't have been an honorable death." You finally faced him. 

"The way I plan to kill you isn't either" You didn't respond and instead there were a few seconds of silence between you both before Charles continued. "so why?"

#f1 x reader #f1 #f1 imagine #changetyre #f1 one shot #f1fic #formula 1 #f1 series #f1mafia #charlesleclerc #chalresleclercmafia #mafiaau #f1mafiaau #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x mafia

[essentiallyleaf]

day 26. selfcest. with. miyeon.

854 words.

tags.

kinktober ‘23, idol x futa!idol (???), selfcest, narcissist miyeon, supposedly a mostly comedic piece but at the same time it’s not very funny, narrator might sound too salty though really they’re just annoyed [beep beep cop out alert beep beep], the real cop out is that miyeon sounds awfully similar to me in this and that’s scary, okay maybe outside of the selfcest part, this entire fic is a huge cop out for me having zero creativity and wit to be honest, sorry for the excessively long tags i’ll stop now, no i won’t, yes i will, no i- okay not funny.

notes.

-5. honestlycantwaitfortheendofoctoberly, leaf.

Miyeon always wanted to write an autobiography, maybe a script, or rather, to get it written for her, ‘cause “Who’s got the time for that, y’knowhatImean?”, and definitely not because she hasn’t used pen and paper for anything other than autographs since she - barely - got out of high school; “Maybe a book of quotes, that could be quicker. What? Whose quotes, you asked? Mine, who else’s? HaHA”

Nah, her life is not really book material. It’s more like a b-movie (or, Bee even?), with all the bad jokes and none of the ironic laughs. This one time she was asked, if you could describe your entire life in a frame - one shot, one opportunity; would your mom be making spaghetti in it? - what would it be? With an intense glare and an abnormal amount of dramatic pauses in between she answered, probably me, in front of a mirror, side-eyeing my own reflection, y’kno, because I, am my only, enemy, the biggest obstacle, on the road to success; wow, that deserves a spot in the book.

It doesn’t come as a shock that a person like her had weird dreams, dreams where she randomly comes across a woman that looks exactly like her, and starts researching about her, trying to get more information, discover where the woman comes from, what she does in her life; it also doesn’t come as a shock that none of that is a product of her own imagination, she just really likes any film with Jake Gyllenhaal in it and can’t come up with any original ideas, even in the hours of the day when her unconscious is completely free and unbound from the chains of the real, or even of the realistic. Joining this exhibition of the unshocking, the first words that Miyeon utters when she gets to meet the woman (even in a dream, where every texture, every face is out of focus and blurred, where humans have twelve fingers and mushrooms have eight legs, she can see the woman’s features clearly - almost like she spent about the same amount of time in a day sleeping and looking in the mirror and could draw her own face blindfolded - and they exactly resembles her own) are “Oh my God, I look so beautiful”. So beautiful that she wants to feel the woman’s sharp, V-lined jaw, her perfectly angled, straight, thin nose, her thick, juicy, pink lips and fuck, how good they’d feel on-

Her tongue invades the double’s mouth like she’s about to have a taste of heaven, and ascending is what Miyeon does as she gets a sample of her own flavor. She feels the woman’s body up all over, hungry for contact, swiping and gripping and tugging now on her soft thighs, now on her bouncy cheeks, now on her perky tits. I need this real fucking fast, she thinks as she feels dampness between her legs, so she kneels to pull the dress of the other her up to her waist, and what she finds is no underwear (it would have been worrying to know that her perfect double does wear it, to be fair) and a gargantuan semi-erect penis. An absolute utopia, truly, for Miyeon to be in front of the two things she loves the most, fused together: herself and dick. No questions asked then, - and honestly, who’s ever questioned anything in their own dreams, even when it’s sucking yourself off - she wraps her lips around the mushroom head and starts bobbing like it’s her favorite hobby, and it is. It’s like she’s practiced her entire life for the moment she gets to taste the cock she never knew she wanted, and that cock thrusts hard back into her moaning throat because only one can know what she always wanted. And as Miyeon loses herself, - in the music, the moment - that’s where it stops, and her body is turned around and put on all fours, her round ass in the air. She feels her slick being spread around and onto her puckered hole, and as the woman’s tip pushes into her back entrance. One thrust in, and then out. Two, a little further. The third time, the huge girth leaves her hole gaping. Four, five, six, and when she loses count (quite soon, and not because of her poor math abilities), that’s when she breaks. That’s when her moans turn into screams, when her hand automatically goes to her clit and starts rubbing, the pleasure from her own fingers causing her muscles to relax even more and her double’s length to reach even deeper into her. The sound of hips bumping into cheeks and of her own feral wails is all she hears before she feels herself cumming and concurrently several spurts of cum fill her ass.

When Miyeon wakes up she has another quote for her book in mind, one to be remembered for generations to come, surely, and just as surely not a stolen one: the opportunity to meet face to face with your greatest enemy comes once in a lifetime - and the enemy will certainly not miss her chance to blow.

-

footnotes.

getting repetitive. contritely, leaf.

#kinktober #kinktober 2023 #girl group smut #idol smut #female idol smut #kpop fanfic #kpop smut #idol x idol #gidle #miyeon #cho miyeon #gidle miyeon #gidle smut #miyeon smut #cho miyeon smut #gidle miyeon smut

[sofasoap]

Nightmare

Pairing : Din Djarin x GN!Reader + Grogu

Summary: Din's biggest nightmare is losing his family, his clan, losing you.

kind of set after Grogu comes back from Jedi training, and let's just pretend Din still got Razor Crest or bought a similar size ship. Starfighter is just too.... SMALL! Warning: M rating ,strong languages. English is my 2nd language, not beta'ed either, so I apologise for any mistakes. You are responsible for your own media consumption. Please don't enter if you are under 18 or of legal age in your country and turn around NOW. minors DNI. A/N: For @deakyjoe again. I promised her if she did her Uni work I will write something lol. Here it is.

MASTERLIST

"I am leaving." Din's hand froze. He slowly look up from the blaster he was cleaning. " I don't think I can do this anymore Mando." Shaking your head. " I am sick of this... fighting, and this, " waving your hands around, " I am sick of being trapped inside all the time, in this enclosed space." His hands start to shake. He open his mouth, but no sound is coming out.

"I want to settle down... not hiding from the enemy all the time, and this is not a good environment to bring up the younglings!" Turning towards your cot, you pick up your bag and started stuffing your belongs into it.

"And this bullshit of creed, not showing your face, and Oh, they ditch you even though you are the holder of darksaber just because you showed your face to outsider?" You rolled your eyes.

Din try to argue, still, he couldn't make a sound. As if someone has taken his voice away from him.

" So you got nothing to say to me Mando? Not even going to try and persuade me?" Sighing as you walk past him, picking up Grogu as you head out of the ship. " I am taking Grogu with me. I hope this is the last time I see you, DIN DJARIN." You spatted out his name, not even looking back and walked off into the forest.

Din screamed as he sat up from his bunk. Sweat completely drenching his body. Totally disorientate he turn on the night light beside his head and look around. It's too quiet. Usually he hears sounds of you walking around the ship, doing chores or fixing things, or little cooing sound of Grogu, and you telling him off for being a mischief. The fear surface again, was that nightmare real?? and I am just replaying the episode again and again in my mind ? Quickly donning his helmet, not even bothering with rest of his armour, he stepped out from his tiny bunker. No one in the cargo area, refresher empty. Climbing up towards the cockpit, not a trace of you two.

Lastly checking your bunk space, blanket folded neatly, your bag is missing. Din feel likes he was about to have a breakdown. He couldn't imagine his life without you. Without the little Munchkin. His clan of three. He hasn't even confess his feeling to you yet. Rushing to putting his armour on, he set out to find you two. Guessing you two haven't made it too far, there is still a chance. Just as he was about to step out, the cargo hold landing door opened up. And there's you, with his son tucked away in one of the bag, holding some sort of sweet pastry in his hand, and your backpack on your back and another satchel full of groceries and supplies. The two of you were giggling and laughing, as if sharing a joke. " OH! Mando, you are awake!" You greeted to him as you spotted him standing by the entrance. Din rush up towards you, pull you into an embrace. " Mando...are you OK?" You still haven't change your habit of calling him Mando. Even though you heard his real name already through Moff Gideon. You thought Din haven't given you the permission to use his name, you will stick with calling him Mando. Letting out a shaky breath. " Where did you guys go?" " We went out for supply run, it was such a good weather and you mention this area and town is relatively safe... So I thought I take Grogu for a stroll." putting down one of the side satchel and Grogu force jumped out from the bag. "Sorry I didn't wake you up. You were in such a deep sleep and you haven't had a good rest for last few weeks.. So I thought I'll let you be." You replied apologetically and gave him a squeeze. " Come on. I bought some of your favourite fruits. Turns out they had a very good harvest this year on this planet. I can make them into ration bar and preserves, so you won't need to hunt for them for a long time." You smiled at him. Just as you about to turn away and head back into the ship, Din moved his hand, cupping your face and pull you head in, lightly touching his forehead. "Man.. Mando?" Your face heating up. "Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum, Cyare..." He whispered back. You closed your eyes. Enjoying this intimate moment. "That's a new word...what does it mean Mando?" " I'll tell you one day... not now.. but one day."

"....and please.. call me Din." ".. Din." The sound of his name , so sweet and loving coming out from your mouth. Din felt someone tugging his pants and little coo sound. " I think he feels left out." You laughed. Din let go of you, bending down to pick his son up and gave him a little knock forehead to forehead.

" Come on, let's go help your buir to put away the groceries." Din commented. " that's ANOTHER new word Din... what does it mean? You got to start teaching me some Mando'a soon.. otherwise I would think you two are talking behind my back! " You said half jokingly. ".. It means parent." You raised your eyebrow as he explain it to you. You stood there for a moment as the two boys walk up the plank back into the ship. Took you few second to understand the implication, his words, and his action from before. Your heart flutters. Maybe.. Just maybe? That little hope and desire you have tucked away starting to rise.

".. I thought you two left me.. " " Never Din... We will never leave you. I will never leave you. Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum. "

I know its a common joke and meme how he is technically the holder of Darksaber and they just flick him away like that.. unless they come up with a good reason.. to me it's just a major plot hole. Thank you for reading, liking and reblogs!

#din djarin #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #din djarin x y/n #din djarin imagine #the mandarlorian

[onyourhyuck]

LOWLIFE. | L.DH | PART 3

— Prologue: “Fine…I’ll give you another chance…” He warns dangerously as you were already crossing his lines to the point you’ve pissed him off beyond measures. Just about when you were about to make it up to him he smirks at you. “Get on your knees,” he says. “You’re going to clean my shoes.” He chuckles watching your face and adds. “With your mouth.”

— Summary: Where your childhood enemy found your diary one day where you wrote all your dirty thoughts about Lee fucking Haechan.

— Genre: Probably the most filthiest thing I ever wrote. SMUT SMUT SMUT. Slight Dub-con. Everything’s consensual here but uh Haechan’s the biggest red fucking flag. Manipulative Haechan. Y/n is so obsessed. Shoe humping. Inappropriate use of mention shoe. Being called ‘Pet’ or ‘Toy’ multiple times. Dark dark smut. Slight angst(?) but mostly very filthy talk. Haechan is fucking terrible and mean to Y/n. Choking (light). Pet play(?). Cum play. Lots lots overstimulation here. Hair grabbing. Face slapping (very light here.) unprotected sex. Throat fucking (shoe receiving…)

— Notes: Part 3 ( I’m going to write an apology for traumatising my readers )

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

You know you fucked up.

You weren’t expecting things to go south for you today but as per usual life was seemingly always going against you and your will to have a calm and peaceful day, you were planning to actually relax and do something with your life today. You went on a party event with your friend. Technically your friend invited you as a plus one and the word ‘invite’ is used lightly here. It was more like she kidnapped you and forced your to trend the event. It was a birthday party so people were celebrating and what not.

But then at the party your phone was going off and you were so invested and busy in the party with other people that you didn’t realise your screen flashing bright. You picked it up and soon realise In bold letters that you had not only one miss call — but about ten calls from a specific number Lee Donghyuck.

And not only miss calls he sent you spamming texts about asking where you are and why is your phone turned off? He literally had so many questions and it’s not like he cares about where you are. It’s not like those messages your significant other would text you, worrying about you when you’re outside not answering their messages oh god no it’s nothing like that.

Donghyuck was bored thats why he was texting you and calling you like a freaking mad man. He was bored and you know when he’s bored? He takes pleasures in doing those entertaining activities with you which is fucking you till you’re brain dead.

You told him today you can’t make it, in which he reacts poorly by asking you why not. And you tell him you’re at a party which only angers him more now that he now knows you chose a party event over him. He thought that your obsession that you have over him would make you quick on your knees running back to him whenever he calls you like you’re some puppy he has.

He really thought that you’d drop everything down for him. To come see him whenever he demands you to. But he was left with sheer disappointment and anger with you in his body especially on his raging heart now that you clearly made the decision to stay with your friend’s birthday party.

“I’m going to make you regret it y/n.” He said to himself as he sat in the room already planning on how to handle and deal with you later and the things that pop in his head, it could leave someone scarred for years to the point a therapy wouldn’t be helpful. He will make you regret it.

You were left with an unsettling feeling in your stomach actually. You saw him not responding to you because the last thing he said to you was wait till I see you again, and you didn’t reply to him because you were afraid of what’s to come. But even if your heart was feeling heavy with fear your lower body had to disagree quickly.

You were actually, intrigued to know what he was going to do.

But that doesn’t change the fact that you’re fucking terrified. You know very well that when he meets you, you’re going to be a stuttering and scared ball full of anxiety and wrecking havoc that will come undone when he does whatever cruel thing he wishes to do and you’re aware by now the years you dealt with him bullying you; that when he makes his mind up on something. He does it without a question.

When you left the party to go home, you were met with a very angry silhouette running backwards and forwards in front of your house. He must’ve been ringing your door bell, banging on your door or something for the past half and hour, he still hasn’t left however. He was determined to see you for all the wrong reasons too. When you arrive out of your car you approach immediately after.

You swear the minute he spares you a glance you could just see how annoyed he is with you. The audacity of you making him come out of his house, to even see you is enough to make his blood boil. He isn’t one to chase after people, but here he is trying to meet up with you. Even though he wouldn’t do that with anyone else. If it’s you he just finds his body chasing after you and he solemnly hates you for it.

“Donghyuck?” You call out as the boy turning his back around to have a look at you. You wore a very pretty dress actually — it was quite revealing. He didn’t think it was a proper party but it seems like it was the case.

He rolls his tongue against the gripping wall of his cheeks. A habit he does when he’s annoyed. “You sure have some nerve to say my name right now.” He comes forward grabbing your wrist dragging you forward to make you look him in the eyes. You could tell he’s enraged. Angry a lot now more than usual. You somehow crossed his good patience. “After making me wait here. You stood me up.”

Donghyuck’s poor fragile ego couldn’t take that from you. Especially from someone as overally fucked up as you.

You bite your bottom lip watching the furious eyes looking at you like you’re about to regret for making him feel like this, like he was stood up and now he’s humiliated.

“I didn’t stood you up. I only said I can’t make it today.” You groan slightly trying to make sense of the situation that you’re in. But what did you expect? Lee Donghyuck, your now bully and childhood ex best friend to be tolerant and care of your situation?

His eyes widen, did you just talk back to him? He felt like he heard your first words now and somehow he can’t shake the feeling of you being like this to him. “Did you just — back chat to me?” He gasps letting out annoyed deep breaths. This was nothing like you. “Y/n I think you’re forgetting your fucking place here. I have your stupid diary. You wouldn’t want me to expose it to the world would you?”

“I am not your stupid boyfriend,” He would tighten the grip on your wrist he has pulling you forward with each word and syllables he says. “That you can speak back to,” Like he was making an emphasis point that you are walking on very very thin ice that could break any minute if you say and do the wrong thing right now. “Understand?”

You grew quiet watching him play you like this like you’re doing something so terrible that could be a crime. He’s treating you as if you were a child and somehow you didn’t like this. But you grew to realise he’s very much upset and somehow you feel awful for having to deal with him like this.

“Then what are we?” You suddenly say following your own heart instead of your logical head that would tell you to shut up and just obey him so he could leave you alone. But now you’re wondering. What are we? You and Donghyuck have a serious complex relationship.

You’re not lovers and you’re not friends. You used to be very good friends to the point you guys would be inseparable but somehow when he reached a certain age he left you behind and joined another set group of friends that leaves him abandoning you.

Ever since then he’s been picking on your relatively small self esteem. And somehow you grew romantic feelings for him the older he got and the more he starts to bully you. Or maybe you’ve always liked him since you were little and now your feelings only got more intense when you came to terms with them.

When you said those words ‘What are we?’ It only made Donghyuck grow quiet and he somehow grew angrier. He pushed you back a little as he lets out an annoyed laugh that you even asked him this question as if you weren’t allowed to question your relationship status with him. He never once thought of you in a romantic way. He never once saw you as a friend before. Heck, he didn’t even see you as anything else but an obsessed girl who has lustful intentions for him and it was just that.

So why was he so defensive when you asked him this?

“Why are you asking Hm? Did you perhaps mistake our time together as us getting closer?” Donghyuck follows your body moving backwards. The further he approached you so menacingly you feel yourself slipping away from reality. He has this dangerous look in his eyes.

His voice was so cold like the Antarctic Ocean beneath couldn’t compare to how cold and distant he spoke to you. “Did you really think you had a chance to be with me, Y/n? Oh sweet silly Y/n.” He mockingly said in such high pitches it makes your heart skip a beat when his hands found a way to wrap round you and push you against your door flatly with a slam.

“No… I just…”

You pause as you feel a bead sweating down your temple as he was trying to hear what you are going to say but you couldn’t bring yourself to say any words except stuttering singular words that did not form a proper conversational sentence in response, you slowly unlock the door and Donghyuck didn’t waste a time to come inside closing the door shut behind him but his gaze was on you. You could tell he was still very much furious and he wasn’t done with you. He wasn’t done with you at all. You’re bracing yourself for the next moment because now he is reaching for you wrist pinning you around when you were about to go away from his sight. You pushed on the wall dropping your purse and your heels were off your feet but just about barely he let you do anything else.

Donghyuck deeply warns. “You’ve crossed over to my bad side.”

You murmur anxiously. You can’t help but think that you don’t want to be on his bad side. It wasn’t even your intention to do that. “How do I… get on your good side?”

With your shaky eyes watching him by asking a genuine question the hand he’s grabbing your wrist with tightens by the increasing time and so has your heart. Your heart was skipping so hard against you that you could feel it bruising your rib cage by pressing it on your chest. And you knew your heart was racing so badly for the reason being Donghyuck’s eyes were watching you so closely.

Donghyuck’s eyes roll over, sighing.

He decided to be lenient on you since you’re asking so nicely how to get on his good side he wonders what things you would be able to do to make it back on the ‘nicer kinder’ side of him. He wonders. All sorts of taboo stuff you could do.

“Fine…I’ll give you another chance…” He warns dangerously as you were already crossing his lines to the point you’ve pissed him off beyond measures. Just about when you were about to make it up to him he smirks at you. “Get on your knees,” he says. “You’re going to clean my shoes.” He chuckles watching your face and adds. “With your mouth.”

Those words leave his beautiful and sweet pleasing mouth and you were felt into a dilemma between your own consciousness and your self desire to please Donghyuck and you never had this problem before. You somehow couldn’t help but fall for his deep hypnotising and intense stare tells you how serious he was — he was gravely serious with you. And somehow this was a punishment for you at the same time you feel your stomach twisting with arousal for this humiliation he’s place down on you. He saw you going on your knees in that pretty slim fitting dress of yours hugging at every curve your body has. Donghyuck took the time taking in your beautiful presence. You were indeed beautiful tonight.

Somehow it just irks him more knowing you dressed up this pretty for a stupid party, but you couldn’t dress up like this to meet him?

Your face comes closer to his shoe hesitantly moving. Your face moved back and forth as if you were at a tug of war between yourself. You couldn’t make a decision if you should do it or not do it. Donghyuck grew tired of your double game and he pressed his foot closer on your lips.

The shoe was thick and black. Leather. It was shiny and you could just see the way his beautiful long legs were stretching to your face he was starting to become impatient.

“Go on,” He urges you darkly. “Suck on it like you suck on my cock you whore.”

And you did it.

As much as it was embarrassing to put away the mental image of your mouth sucking on the tip of his shoe letting all your wet saliva and drool coating it you occasionally glance up seeing Donghyuck’s expression darken as if he was enjoying this so much you could tell he has an evil intent behind those black eyes of his watching you so intensely suck on the leather shoe. And like that he wraps behind his hands on your hair rounding it in a ponytail so he could watch how clearly your tongue pushes on the surface of the leather tip. Your tongue smoothens the surface and you found yourself moaning around his shoe shape when Donghyuck’s eyebrows tighten putting his foot down on your throat.

The humiliation you feel is so real it shakes you up making you nervous knowing you’re here sucking on your bully’s shoe just so you could get on his good side and he knew this was a punishment for you but he also knows how much you love him being this way which is why, he feels like it’s okay to do this, to see you break down and to see you becoming his little puppet for his all desires. The diary was enough proof he found out to know how fucked you are. And you don’t dare deny it either. Instead you continue to lick his shoe clean not leaving a spot on it that’s not been done and fixed by your reddish tongue. He swore he could see you imagining this on his precious cock that you so worship and crave.

He’s going to have his fun with you now,

“That’s it.” Donghyuck says with long singing trail on his voice. He saw a shiver sent down your back and goosebumps reappear on your skin as you hear him speak to you.

He loves the effect his words have on you. “You’d do anything to get back on my good side won’t you? Because you love how mean I can be to you.” He answered for you. He knows you all too well.

He has you figured out from the moment he read your secret diary. All the filth you dream to do with him. To him. Him to do to you. Everything.

You choke between the leather shoe folds and he suddenly pulls back on your hair that he created a ponytail round his fist. He saw the dirt and the drool going down your chin making you look ten times more pathetic as well as your half eye lidded open on your face shows how much you were enjoying this a lot more than you anticipated, licking and sucking on his shoe. Cleaning it up until there was nothing else.

He gravely denies anything he feels for you, but when he sees you like this he cannot deny it any longer than you are looking desirable. To hurt. To corrupt.

You’re nothing but his toy. His pet to please him. His toy when he wants something to play with.

“Take a look at yourself,” he growls. “Dirty girl. You claim to be so innocent but you’re so wrong for that.” Donghyuck drops your head leaving your long locks along and then staring at you.

You close your mouth into a thin line as he reprimanded you. All the time.

“Be a good pet now and fuck on yourself, on the drool on my shoe.” He demands.

You didn’t even hesitate anymore because you’re just so broken now and in the submission he put you in you have no choice left to deny him and his requests. No matter how morally wrong it is. He wants you to fuck his shoe and you did exactly that when your thighs spread open. Your slim short and fitting dress made this look ten times more appealing to Donghyuck knowing you wore panties underneath. The wetness on the shoe that came from your mouth was warm and when it contacts on your clothed clit it creates a warm moan coming out your lips and Donghyuck stands still watching you jump up and down on his leg.

You’re humping him dry but even so you grew so far wet between your panties quickly and you know this by now. Donghyuck has the special effect on making you wet beyond anything else you’ve experienced he just does anything attractive to your eyes. The way you’re moaning out shamelessly losing your own moral authority. You just didn’t care about anything else but pleasing Donghyuck. To make him forgive you for not choosing him over that stupid party because you know — deep inside he is still upset over that decision you made. He should be your first choice. First priority. First to be on your mind. That’s how it should be to Donghyuck. “You’re nothing but a bitch in heat.” He claims.

You wish you could say no that’s not right. It’s not correct. It’s not the truth.

But you found yourself liking the way he degrades you. And you feel ashamed that you do, because the more he disrespects you the more you find yourself getting turned on.

Your moans were a response he loves seeing and he doesn’t need words he just needs you moaning senselessly until your voice breaks and you lose it all. Maybe that will teach you on not speaking back to him, he thought. He should just make you lose your voice and have you scream his name all night until you start getting the whole point across here that he isn’t a second option.

He’s the only choice you have.

“It feels… so good…!” Your hands rug the fingertips on his jeans that he is wearing. They tightly embrace all his long legs he has and you swear he might be ninety percent legs and the rest would be everything else. You always loved that however, his body proportions were admirable and heavenly to gaze upon from the lower angle you could just see the perfect perching harden bulge in his jeans and your hands squeezing the thighs because of how much pleasure was doing to your body simply dry humping the shoe between your thighs and legs. You love the more he purposely touches the leather tip on your clip and stomps on it you found yourself moaning more.

‘You’re such a masochist’ ,Donghyuck thought.

“May I come..?” You breathlessly ask him as you feel your heart race quicken because of how close you were to becoming undone right there and then. You didn’t want to even ask but you knew you had to. Donghyuck was the one in control and it shows how well you’re starting to get it in your small air brain that he is in control.

He looks at you thinking if he should let you. But then he mockingly tells you, “Go on then. It’s the only thing you’re good at.” He said it so cruelly. The only thing you’re good at?

He saw you as a cum bucket nothing else.

You feel your voice squeak as you let out a wave of orgasm rush thought your body and you were simply creaming your panties so much it would leak out of your panties and get on his leather shoes. It made a mess. Even your flooring was now leaking with your orgasm bodily liquid you produced. He swore he grew harder in his pants knowing you were such a mess now and he hasn’t even fucked you. It’s been you doing the fucking job.

You really are down bad for him and you let him know by acting like this.

He wasn’t done with you. Donghyuck wasn’t done with showing you what happens when you treat him like the way you did today and he’s about to show you why you should not do so exactly. In the future he won’t be as nice as he’s being to you now. If by any chance in the future you would do this again he will do a lot of things without question to you and you won’t be left without much choice. He could really lose it and he’s holding you accountable for it. Right now you feel your face grabbed between his hand and squeezing it he grabs you by your neck later pushing you on the stairs. He spreads your legs and he starts to play his fingers in and out of the remaining cum in your cream pussy.

He darkly taunts. “Look at you enjoying this.” He can’t help but think you love pissing him off with the way your body was reacting. “I bet you wanted to upset me on purpose didn’t you?” He said watching you and you bite your lip shaking your head.

“N-no…” you reply to him quietly. You were so timid right now and the way you can’t believe your body was betraying you like this.

He scoffs not believing you at all. “Don’t lie to me Y/n. It will only get worse for you from here on if you do.”

You murmur. “I did not.”

Donghyuck saw you answer back and he raised an eyebrow finding this awfully amusing. If you didn’t you wouldn’t be enjoying this as much as you are now.

“Look at me.”

He brings his hand forward softly slapping your cheek to make you look at him as he saw you were avoiding to meeting his eyes when he tried to speak to you. The slaps he gave on your cheek were both small and weak but they did leave a stinging sensation on your cheek which surprised you. Somehow you let out an unanticipated moan as he slaps you and it shocks you to know you moaned at it. You really are a masochist.

Donghyuck darkly grins watching you moan as he slapped your face and he hums tauntingly once more. He was so condescending you weren’t sure if he was joking or if he was serious.

You finally look up at him.

“You really are the worst of the worst Y/n. You say I’m the biggest Lowlife.” He trails laughing now as he unbuckled his lower clothing letting the jeans fall to the ankles. He’s about to fuck you on your stairs whether you like it or not is up to your discretion. But it looks like there won’t be a bed today for you or for him. Donghyuck wants to take you right here and now.

The stairs were an absolute disaster to do this activity as you were simply struggling to stay still and up enough to angle your body correctly in the position however Donghyuck shown no care for this other than fucking you completely out. He continues to speak as he pauses when his cock slowly aligned to your pussy that’s letting out the remaining bodily liquid you wet his shoes over with. “But I think you are the biggest lowlife here between me and you.”

To him you were even worse than he is because you’re enjoying this. You’re not stopping him. You’ve not told him to stop and even if you didn’t he would know when to do so. But you never once, asked and questioned the things he does to you. It’s like you are the hidden Lowlife who hides that they actually are. Ironically you’ve been saying Donghyuck is one. When it might be you all alone.

“But don’t you worry,” He says babying you in such a fake and sweet tone that makes your brain melt away. “Your secrets safe with me. Just like your stupid diary will be forever with me.”

You close your eyes at the forging pleasure he is causing your lower body to take in and become his literal usable flashlight. You were a toy that he would use and use and never get tired of because you’re the most unpredictable person he ever met. He’s never expected you to grow into such an innocent face but become such a lustful soul he could ever gaze upon on meeting paths with.

Donghyuck can’t deny that you out of all people he’s glad it’s you that he found the diary from. Because he wouldn’t have been enjoying his time breaking you every single time you and him do this. He blames you for getting him so addicted to hurting you like this and even so, you still have those romantic feelings for him.

It’s starting to rub off on him too.

Ramming into your pussy he didn’t leave a moment where his pace shows a time of stopping or slowing he was just so rough and straightforward with you perhaps because he’s trying to make this seem as a punishable offence from what you’ve done. He hasn’t forgotten what you’re here for. But then again you find yourself losing control and eventually you’re melting under him with the heat growing on your face and your voice was raising up with each octave you have. He made sure to have you screaming his name before he will fill you up.

Or maybe he won’t fill you up today.

Donghyuck’s dark eyes glisten with lust for you and he saw your expressions with the way your eyebrows furrow together and press together and the way your face rests on his nape as he keeps thrusting inside you with his thick cock stretching you wide enough you couldn’t get even on the ground of the stairs. You were sliding off them occasionally and you tried your best to remain seated still for him as you didn’t want your owner to hold you accountable for disobeying him. The least thing you want is to upset Donghyuck again.

And somehow you found yourself viewing him as your owner the more you do this with him.

He groans when he’s super close and he sees you holding right onto him. Donghyuck must’ve lost his mind a little a while ago because when he saw you pressing your forehead on his shoulder spewing out your tears he couldn’t help but press harder finding your tears to be arousing.

He’s getting turned on by your cries now, and somehow Donghyuck felt an overwhelming sense of urgency to finish and check on you. This wasn’t like him to be able to finish quickly just so he could check if you’re okay. But then again you were starting to rub on him with your ridiculous feelings.

He pulls out before he released and then quickly wanks his heavenly cock in front of you to stain your black fitting dress with his white remains. You pull back resting there panting as your eyes were streaming tears down your cheek.

And you could see a soften gaze as he watches you silently. At first you found it awkward when he’s watching you with a softer and slightly kinder expression than before. Usually he didn’t spare you a second glance and he would focus on changing and then he dips away from you the moment he orgasms. But now he isn’t showing signs of leaving and he watches your tears dribbling down your face and on your thighs and dress.

There was something so different about Donghyuck now as he asks you quietly but very firmly showing he was serious.

He stares at you as he spoke. “Do you still love a Lowlife like me?”

And your heart skips a beat as he was questioning your feelings for him.

“Yes.” You faintly reply.

He looks away from you still in disbelief but now his heart was racing away from your answer. How can you still like him? He’s only been so insufferable to you for years now and you’re here still with your feelings remaining the same.

No matter what he does, you’re going to love him.

He scoffs out with conducing laugh. “You’re nothing but entertainment for me you do know that? The only reason I’m keeping you around is for your body.”

You stare at him raising your eyebrows. Even if that may be true you can’t help but think he was feeling something for you few minutes ago. You swear you saw his eyes change and soften when watching you earlier.

Donghyuck saw your silence and he stands up pulling up his jeans and buckling back the belt on. “I don’t expect you to care.” He states. “Because you’re only a whore who would do anything to open their legs for me.”

“But please,” He throughly states as he walks to the door opening it for himself now so he could leave in a matter of time. When he turns to you he looks back at you with more coldness than you could imagine. “If you cross over to my bad side again, I can’t say I warned you.”

“I won’t be as lenient with you as I was today.” He told you and you feel your brain shiver from just imagining what he could do to you. “I’ll show you how much of a Lowlife I can be if you do double cross me again.”

And it’s a promise he will keep.

Leaving you nothing but alone on your stairs alone, fucked out and stained with his load on your pretty dress as he slams the door shut. His words leaving a cold mark on your heart.

‘How much longer can I love a lowlife like him?’ You thought to yourself.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

@onyourhyuck please refer from translating and copyright my work thank you. Reblog this fic and follow me for more if you want more updates it helps a girl out<33

#nct fanfiction #nct smut #nct x reader #nct u scenarios #nct hard hours #nct series #nct fic #nct recs #haechan scenarios #nct haechan smut #haechan imagines #haechan fic #haechan smut #haechan soft hours #haechan fanfiction #haechan headers #haechan hard thoughts #haechan hard hours #nct fanfic #nct masterlist #nct dream smut #nct2020 #nct scenarios #nct 127 smut #nct fluff #nct hard thoughts #nct dream hard thoughts #nct dream fic #nct dream fanfic #nct 127 scenarios

[the-roo-too]

말리지 마 -> slytherin! oh haewon

-because of a stunt the slytherin pulled, you’re both now in nightly detention. you wouldn’t expect one of the smarter teachers to lead you to the forbidden forest with your biggest enemy in the middle of the night now, would you?

warnings: dead unicorn; dementors; blood

genre: enemies to lovers

notes: haewon 🤭🤭

(⋆._.)⊃▁⛥⌒*ﾟ.❉・゜・。.

“stupid slytherin..” you muttered under your breath, throwing on the warmer cloak. it was well after sundown so the outside was pretty chilly. with a low grunt you exited the common room, watching the doors without a knob close behind you.

you moved silently through the hall, a lantern in your hand as your only source of light. without it, the hallways would be quite terrifying at night. especially the talking portraits. you preferred them complaining that you woke them up with the lamp, instead of hearing their whispers as if you were a intruder in the castle.

the way from your dorm room to the gate was a long one, but it still was the least scary part of the night awaiting you.

when you exited through the main entrance, you could see the lights from the lamps of a fellow student and the care of magical creatures teacher. both figures stood near the teacher’s hut, probably awaiting your arrival.

even from the distance, jeongyeon (or miss yoo, as you formally should address her) smiled at you brightly. she waved you over, not minding the grumpy slytherin on her side.

“l/n! you finally arrived!”

“i’m sorry, miss yoo… did you have to wait long?”

“yes.” jeongyeon glared lightly at the other student before turning back to you.

“it’s fine, l/n. a little cold air is very healthy!” she proceeded to look between you and the slytherin expectingly. “well then, l/n, oh, let’s go!”

(⋆._.)⊃▁⛥⌒*ﾟ.❉・゜・。.

whoever thought that sending two students, a teacher (and a dog) to the forbidden forest in the middle of the night was a good idea was terribly wrong.

because jeongyeon trusted you ‘enough’ she took the dog and went one way, telling you and the slytherin to follow the path and search for the body of a unicorn. apparently she found him dead once, but didn’t have a vial on her by then. the teacher wanted you to collect some blood and hairs of the deceased creature.

“i cant believe i have to walk with you.” haewon gritted out as she walked before you. jeongyeon handed her the lamp, so she was leading you two through the forest.

“well i’m not jumping in happiness too, am i?” you bit back, rolling your eyes. what was her problem, you never actually knew. “it’s your fault we’re here anyway.”

a scoff fell from her lips, a small cloud forming in the cold air. “that stupid gryffindor was gonna spill my cauldron on your head.”

“as if.”

“ask him yourself, dipshit.”

you really didn’t have to, you knew the gryffindor boy hated you. he had some personal problems, nothing that bothered you too much. he just decided to play a prank on you during potions, and apparently haewon doesn’t take easy people stealing her cauldrons.

although you could swear she once let a park like that pass by with students from her own house? never mind that.

something at the path before you shined a little in the light from the lamp. you squinted your eyes, spotting the little horn of the unicorn peeking out.

“is that it..?” you asked softly.

“take a wild guess, l/n.”

you rolled your eyes and took a step closer, not minding the slytherin. one hand holding your wand, you reached the other in your pocket to look for the glass vial. behind you, you could hear haewon complaining quietly as she followed you.

a small shiver went down your spine.

“is it just me, or did it get colder all of a sudden?” you asked in a whisper tone.

“…i feel that too.” that wasn’t reassuring.

you finally stood above the body of the unicorn. you looked at the creature with pity as you slowly kneeled down. “keep the light above me, okay oh?”

as you leaned over the unicorn, you noticed the mist coming from your mouth.

“why is it so cold…?” you asked yourself, but then a sudden push made you fall to your side. the vial you were about to collect the blood in broke in your hand, the small shards prickling at your skin.

you were about to turn to yell at haewon for pushing you, when you noticed what made her react that way.

dementors.

her eyes meet yours just as you noticed the danger in front of you.

“they came here because of the smell..” she whispered, holding the eye contact. “i’m gonna need you to run.”

“what?”

she held up her wand, breaking the staring contest. “run!”

(⋆._.)⊃▁⛥⌒*ﾟ.❉・゜・。.

the next couple minutes were a blur. you know you ran through the forest, calling for jongyeon. you must’ve found her at some point, because then you remembered her running with you to where you left the slytherin.

you definitely found her, but what state was she in?

you fidgeted with the bandage wrapped around your hand. you were now in the medical wing. miss yoo miraculously wasn’t fired when she brought the two of you back to the castle in the early hours of the morning, yet now you were alone again, sitting on the slytherin’s hospital bed. she hasn’t woken up yet.

as you looked at her battered face, you could feel the guilt eating you up. she told you to run, but would she be better if you stayed to help?

she stirred a little, making you look at her face. a small groan slipped from her lips before her eyes made contact with you.

“…l/n?” she asked in a hoarse voice.

you immediately stood up and walked to her bedside table, handing her a glass of water that stood there. haewon nodded her head gratefully and sipped the drink.

“why are you here?” she asked finally, her tone still a bit groggy. her eyes landed on the bandage wrapped around your palm. “oh no, you’re hurt…”

a soft chuckle slipped past your lips. “you’re the one saying that?”

a grin broke out on her face. “i look terrible, dont i?”

“no… not at all..” your hand slowly itched to her own. “you told me to run… why?”

“i didn’t want you getting hurt.” she shrugged.

“but you got hurt. and we’re… enemies..?”

the smile remained on her face. “if we really were enemies, i’d let that gryffindor pour my cauldron on you.”

you could feel your cheeks heat up slightly. “w-what?”

“what you gonna do now that i told you?” her grin widens.

“what should i do?”

“you can start by kissing me.”

(⋆._.)⊃▁⛥⌒*ﾟ.❉・゜・。.

#haewon #nmixx x reader #nmixx imagines #bae #jiwoo #kyujin #lily morrow #sullyoon #nmixx #hogwarts au #slytherin #slytherin x gryffindor #gryffindor

[rocknroll7575]

Doing Nothing

CC: *Outside of Neo's body, wounded and lying on the ground*

Jaune: *Walks toward him, sword unsheathed and Shield at the ready*

CC: *looks at him and laughs weakly* Oh, the Rusted Knight, what... what brings you here?

Jaune: ...

CC: Come to kill me? Slay the wicked monster? Become the hero who saved his friends and the people?

Jaune: ...

CC: Or have you come to give me words of wisdom? Convince me to change my ways with a few heartfelt words?

Jaune: ...

CC: No words? Doing nothing Hmm? Ah... wait, that's something your good at! You did nothing when that partner of yours rushed to her demise, you did nothing to stop the evil woman, all you did was kill a poor innocent girl.

Jaune: ...

CC: Well, aren't you going to say something?

Jaune: ...

CC: Say something damn it! Do you think you're better than me!? Who are you to judge me!?

Jaune: ...

CC: I AM CURSED! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT IT IS LIKE TO BE CURIOUS ABOUT EVERYTHING! TO WONDER WHAT EVERYTHING IS LIKE!? TO WANT TO TRY TO KNOW EVERYTHING! UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING! TO KNOW THE BIGGEST QUESTIONS IN LIFE!?!? DO YOU!?

Jaune: ...

CC: WHAT DO YOU KNOW!? HM!?

Jaune: ...

CC: ANSWER ME!!!

Jaune: ...

*CC glares at Jaune but then sees the Jabberwalker crawling behind Jaune and grins*

CC: It doesn't matter anymore, because at least I won't be dying alone.

Jaune: He's not here for me

CC: *Scared* W-What!?

Jaune: He and I have... come to a bit of an understanding

CC: What are... What are you talking about!?

Jaune: Have you ever heard, the enemy of my enemy is my friend?

CC: !?

Jaune: *Turns to the Jabberwalker* He's all yours... Lewis *Turns and walks away*

CC: *Terrorfied* J-Jaune! Y-You can't leave me here!

*Jabberwalker crawls toward CC and then stands above him*

CC: J-Jaune! Please! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?

Jaune: *Turns to look CC* What you say I'm good at... nothing.

*As Jaune walked away, he heard CC scream out for him but then heard the screaming and begging, before it stopped abruptly and a wicked grin formed on his face*

(I just imagine Jaune has nothing left to say to CC and would be actually glad he's dead, Jaune's earned the right to be a little sinister with all the shit he's been dealt)

#rwby #rwby curious cat #curious cat #rwby jaune arc #jaune arc #rwby jabberwalker #jabberwalker #rwby volume 9

[crazybookcat]

Alternate version + lore under the cut

I've had this thing finished for about a month now. Sooo I figured it was time high time for me to properly introduce this boy to you all! His name is Times New Roman or otherwise know as Frak and Merl's hubband.

Ok now with the introduction over on with the actual lore! Roman is from an au I made with my friend @smokbeast called Betatale. (You can see more about Merl, Frak, Roman and a buncha other characters on his blog, go check it out!) As the name says, Roman is meant to be from some sorta beta of Undertale. He sorta had Sans' place in his au, but not entirely, he's def his own thing. He is not a sans, and he is not in any way related to Frak. His family is all dead thank you very much. Much like Sans he only has one hp, but that's due to his lil condition. He was born with an immense amount of magic which his soul and body is way too weak to hold. So he's on perma hardcore mode, one hit one kill. (Well- most of the time ;3) Roman has the power to travel the multiverse. It takes a lot outta him and he isn't able to do it without touching Frak. Mostly because it wouldn't be possible without his other half, but also cuz Roman wouldn't even attempt to go anywhere far without him. (Merl came into their lives after me and Smoki had traumatized these two so much they refuse to not be near eachother pretty much constantly anymore).

Roman is the token 'extrovert' outta him and Frak. On the outside he's very friendly and disarming. Bro will attempt to charm his way into just about anyone's good graces. He jokes and jabbers, easily sliding on the mask of a well adjusted monster. (Something he defiantly is not). Oh also he's 5'0, my boy is short short. Roman's an artist and he tends to sketch the people around him a lot, like some sorta romance movie main character. (His sketchbook mostly consists of Frak and Merl but don't tell them that-) A lotta his quiet time is spent drawing, tinkering with random machines, or talking his beloved's (proverbial) ears off about his latest ideas. I almost forgot to talk about his attacks- how silly of me. Ok so my boy's head is basically a Gaster Blaster, from which he can admit devastating blasts of magic. It's his most dangerous weapon, and something he can easily manage to do with his high levels of magic.

Mostly he just tries to stay outta range so he has time to snipe a hit with his blast attack. Staying out of range often means hiding behind Frak, who he stays very close to in battle. Mostly it's so Roman can lead an enemy into one of Frak's attacks or heal him. Speaking of which! Roman has a kindness/patience soul. He just likes to pretend that his only soul trait is patience because I traumatized him of course. Alrighty, I think I'm done for now- if you read all that I'ma give you the biggest pat on the back. Feel free to send me asks about him! The aus I have with Smoki are seriously my biggest brainrot atm.

#This is prolly one of my longest posts to date daum #I went a lil bit feral there #But yeah if anyone has any questions or anything feel free to shoot me an ask! #I will happily lore dump #I'll prolly be posting more about Roman Frak Merl and everyone else soon #I'd post more art of them but I honestly havent had much time to draw for a hot minute #bookcat draws #roman oc #undertale ocs #undertale au #betatale #friend ocs #Frak oc #Merl oc

[rin-chan32]

THE FUCKING MADOKA WORMS ARE BACK

It’s like 4 in the morning and I couldn’t help but look at the trailer up and down cause I can’t fucking sit still one thing that I noticed is that they changed their designs, where they still have the same silhouette but it’s just tweaked here and here. Like in the poster you can see how Homura is wearing leggings/thigh highs rather than the tights that she’s known for. But the same goes for everyone else, they’re just changed here and there, but nothing is drastic. You can still tell whose who, which is what I like about the changes. But also how, from what it I can tell, it looks like there’ll be some more casual outfits and what not too. Which I’m very curious to know how that will all play into it as well.

im also like, in the trailer itself, but also like in the rebellion itself everything is so. Liminal and stretched out. Like when Sayaka, Hitomi, and Madoka were walking under the flower arches and how Homura was sitting in that throne thing and it just kept expanding.

I’m also curious to see how the phone is gonna play into the movie since it seems like it’s gonna be a huge part of it. Like in the poster is one of the biggest things outside of Homura herself (both Homura’s to be exact), and it was the first thing was heard in the actual trailer as well. But thinking about the paradise regained analysis I watched from Wendigoon forever ago, I’m curious to see if that will play a part in it. ESP since Rebellion was based on paradise lost, but I’m sure it will have some role in it somehow. But also looking at it in the idea of this movie being based off paradise regained, which role would Homura herself be in? Since the story is about heaven being regained and god trying to deceive Jesus along the way. Would she be the devil trying to keep the way things are, or would she be Jesus for trying to regain the heaven, or the law of cycles, as it was before.

But another thing I find interesting is that Homura was the one who was featured the most out of everyone there. Which is super exciting considering that it’s nodding towards Homura having so much inner conflict with herself, so much that it shows it with herself on the poster. Madoka is hidden in the background, while she is going to confront herself. Would this mean that she, the Homura post episode 12, still holding onto that hope Madoka gave her (hense why she has the ribbon in her hair), is fighting herself, as in Homura in Rebellion post-giving up on that hope striving for her own path, in what she believes in? When Homura asked Madoka if she was willing to be a magical girl at rebellion and said that “one day we will become enemies”, was she in fact talking to herself about it the whole time? Is she the big bad she’s been looking for throughout all these timelines?

Another thing is that, I’m curious about what’s in the phone. It looks like a spine and then a hand, which automatically brings me back to Homulily and how her body was all bone. Does this imply that she’ll be able to do what Sayaka did with Octavia, simply call on her witch whenever she needs it? Or does this imply that it will be something more sinister, either about herself or the world around her. I’m leaning towards the former since the top of the phone looks like a salamander, which is something that has been shown with her time and time again. So I’m just curious to see where this turns out cause I’m just. HOLY FUCKING SHIT OH MY GOD?????

#IM ACTIVELY SHITTING MYSELF OH MY GODDDDDD #I don’t regret staying up until 4 in the morning for this. I will do this again if I had the opportunity to do so 😭 #puella magi madoka magica #walpurgis no kaiten #Madoka spoilers???? #maybe possibly #I’m just #I’m so excited to see what this new movie brings to the world of Madoka and I’m already so excited for it #Just looking at the trailer itself and every thing about it just shows how much love and care they put into this movie #I’m absolutely eating this up like a feral animal omg #Just???? OH MY GOD?????? #I have so many thoughts about this and I’m so looking forward to other speculations people have #I also apologize to anyone who knows me I will not me shutting tf up about this until Winter 2024 ✨✨✨✨

[the-furies]

System ask questions. All of them.

YAY YIPPEE

Which headmates are the iconic couple - probably Inland and Concept tbh!!

Which headmates are the unlikely couple - Vol & PT tbh. quote from the night they became official:

Which headmates were enemies at first and now best friends and/or a couple - Inland and Auth. they fuckin hated each other for SO LONG AJSKDJCJCJZ no idea what changed between em but I'm glad it changed goddamn

Which headmate is the most different from the body? - i meannnn. All of us tbh DBDJSJFJCJXKD

Which headmates are city folk - Shivers 1000% tbh

Which headmates are country folk - idk actually!

Which headmates have the most unique music taste? - idk actually!! our music tastes r either v similar to each other or not very unique to begin with hmmmm

Which headmate has the most specific role? - either Auth [their role is to Be Cared For And Doted On when up front] or Suggestion [Its role is To Be A Sapient Stim Toy. Its role is to Literally be thrown around and hit. do not worry this doesn't hurt him at all and he enjoys it JAKAAKSJDJFJDJD]

Are there any headmates from a specific state/country/etc different from the body? - I mean technically all us Skills are fantasy French i guess. does that count

Which headmates are emo/punk/goth etc? - Aesthetic-wise? I don't think any of us actually!

What are some pet peeves headmates have about other headmates? - Scio & Cass are super annoyed by Mr. Soot's voice and demeanor tbh if that counts. Like the three do not get along well at all SJDJSJSKFJF

What headmate was the biggest surpise? - FUCKING CHILCHUCK??????????? BRO WE WERE EXPECTING SENSHI. WHERE DID YOU COME FROM AJAISJDJFDJ

What headmate has a skill that the body doesn't usually, but when they front the body gets it (or almost gets it)? - PT is hella skilled at friendship bracelet making meanwhile the rest of us suck at anything that isn't a chevron or smth really simple HSDJSJDJFJD so all the bracelets we make she's gotta be up front for

What headmate makes the most typos? - I DO AJAKAKSDJFJFJDJD i type FAST and unless I'm typoing my name I don't care to fix em because the typos add Flavour. They add Character. Also i dont feel like fixing em. Also Logic!! due to uhhhhhhhh psychosis shit he's really uncoordinated w the body now and has poor motor skills

What headmate has the weirdest (/pos) way of talking/typing? - idk!! rn we don't really have anyone w unusual typing quirks outside of Logic & his typos [lh] but talking-wise hmmmm. I guess Shivers! She kinda blasts her voice all through the headspace & into our minds when she talks and she is VERY loud but that's expected ig since she embodies the spirit of a city and all. and also Logic again actually, it's not Weird per se but he slurs his words a lot usually as a side effect of our last Big Psychosis Episode™. Also shoutout to Esprit who primarily speaks through barking and other animal sounds, love that 4 you but pleaze stop barking directly in my ear when u front AIAJSJSKD OH MY GOD I FORGOT ABT RHETORIC he sounds like he's choking when he speaks. Which. He is. On. His own neck LMAO

-Electrochem

#ask #thank you!! #the most unfortunate typo i make is Electrocumistry . I make this typo so often and yes it is bc i type Fast. HSHSDJJDJFJXJDJDJ #our last psychosis™ fucked logic up rhe Most and he's still recovering from it ajajdjskad

[hhighkey]

AN// for @dris-stuff <3

Kamado Tanjiro Headcanons

ENEMIES TO LOVERS

the sweetest boy but y’all have a rocky start

you’re a tsuguko under flame hashira rengoku

you may not have the same mentality that rengoku is able to on a daily basis

but you’ll follow him in staying outside of the debate about tanjiro once master accepts him

on the inside though- you’re furious

he broke demon slayer code!

you felt for him and his sister, it sucks but the fact is he’s keeping a demon alive

and tanjiro knows how you feel too the day you displayed disgust in passing at the butterfly mansion

he won’t like anyone who shows disdain towards nezuko

so as excited as he is to work under rengoku, he doesn’t want to see you

fast forward to mugen train uh oh

neither of you are happy to see each other, rengoku didn’t tell you those three idiots were coming

but your opinions are soon changed

after y’all are woken up from the dreams you awake to nezuko looking you dead in the eyes

you realize you’re under attack

you end up working with nezuko and zenitsu to protect the people on board you don’t know where everyone else is

in such a short amount of time you’ve done a 360 about nezuko and you completely understand why tanjiro fights for her

you admire him

oh you want to just apologize to him

akaza happens

fuck him i legit hate him so much

but you’re a wreck as rengoku tells his final words to you and tanjiro, you’re sobbing

you can’t do this without him! you’re not ready to be a hashira yet!

you would not leave his body

tanjiro with the help of kakushi had to drag you away as you screamed, a sobbing mess

it’s heart wrenching

but tanjiro just holds you, through all the pain he’s in to try to comfort you

you’re inconsolable for days

laying up in bed in the butterfly mansion

your life feels over

but you look over to see tanjiro with nezuko, the tiny demon girl fussing over her brother with tiny grunts

you’re jealous of that

and like it’s sensed, he gives you the largest grin he can muster

“i’m sorry,”

is all you say

“i understand now why you’re doing this. if you’d let me help…”

tanjiro accepts immediately

he’s thankful you don’t hate him or nezuko because he always found you pretty lmao

whilst you recover you train and tanjiro and gang as you’ve taken over title of flame hashira

and oh boy you and tanjiro are inseparable

you’re each other’s shadows in a way

he brings you food jokingly feeds you

the biggest emotional support as you two work together to remember and grieve over rengoku

he helps you gain the confidence that you can do this. you can be a hashira and carry on in his remembrance

he has the kindest smile and it always makes you smile as well

he’ll play with your fingers as you lay out watching the night sky

he’ll ask about any scars you have and how you got them

but there’s one last thing

kyojuro’s brother and father

you two go together

que the angst; the fighting. sad senjuro

senjuro loves you and you can tell he’s hurting

the way tanjiro stands up for kyojuro and you warms your heart

you’re mad when he goes to the entertainment district

jealous?

you feel anxious with him leaving you know what goes down in that district

it felt like you hadn’t seen him in years before he comes back, you were so impatient passing the days training and spending time with senjuro

and he got absolutely fucked up too

you’re not even sure if inosuke is actually alive oh my

you heard about tengen and his retirement and you’re so happy for him and the wives

but tanjiro is back!

he’s in bad shape but he lights up when he sees you

you never leave his side as he recovers, making sure he has his meds, foods, bandages changed

you listen to every detail of his mission

it’s actually the funniest thing ever they pretended to be girls how tf did they fool anyone

but it’s so evident how strong he’s gotten and it’s absolutely amazing

he’ll be at the top in no time you’re sure

but you are worried. worried about nezuko and him and the future as he tells you about everything nezuko did

but one day he grabs your hand-

“i thought about you every day while i was there. i think for a long time i didn’t think i had a chance at finding people i would love again or consider family, or i was nervous i’d lose them like my family. it’s why i can’t lose nezuko. but i realized i don’t know what i’d do if i lost you either,”

that’s all he had to say

you’re pressing your lips to his before he even knows what’s going on

y’all are together from that day on

tanjiro is such a kind boyfriend

i feel like he’s definitely an acts of service or quality time guy

he likes being in your presence even if it’s you guys dying training

you guys are cute, nervous little love birds around each other

blushing when your hands touch

quick pecks then running away

zenitsu practically lectures him how he needs to be more confident with such a beautiful girl

but you wouldn’t change anything

you like that he’s gentle- it’s endearing

there’s lots of late night talks, serious talks where you just hold each other

his kisses are always slow snd sensual, softly rubbing your back as your lips move together

he’s SO respectful of you too

always gives you space if you’re changing

probably let’s you win in training even though everyone knows you’ll win anyways

definitely protective though

he’s lost so many people already he can’t lose you even though you’re capable but so was rengoku and he’s gone now

he will take hits for you, pushing you out of the way to take the brunt of it

definitely doesn’t like if you have solo missions he always wants to go

waits patiently at your estate for you to come home

panics if he hears you’ve been injured

he gets so sad going on and on about how he should’ve been there to protect you

will want to hold your hand as much as possible so he knows you’re there with him, you aren’t going anywhere

holds you so tight when y’all sleep or cuddle, wants to feel your warmth and know you’re close

y’all feel dumb for ever hating each other at one point

nsfw

kk so i’ve never rly considered tanjiro in an nsfw way so imma do my best

there is def nothing going on when y’all have beef with eachother. you guys would really just glare at each other

and it isn’t until a few months after the entertainment district and you guys have gotten together do y’all even consider

i think you guys are just young and don’t realize with how busy you are

it takes him getting a little jealous with the attention your giving inosuke one night to do something about it

he’s quiet on the way back to your estate

you know somethings up

he makes a move when y’all have gotten ready for bed and nezuko is sound asleep in the spare room she claimed as her own one day

pins you to the bathroom sink after you washed your face, kissing you hard

he’s needy when y’all fuck

definitely a switch i think

likes when you take control on top

but loves staring into your eyes as his cock fills you up, whispering sweet nothings into your ear

definitely a moaner

loves whispering ‘i love you’s’ as y’all kiss

you love taking care of him after a job

and he loves watching you on your knees as you take his length, tangling his hands in your hair to help guide you as his heads thrown back

will always take care of you

boy knows all your spots

knows exactly how to make you come

he def comes on your stomach or back depending on the position, y’all aren’t risking kids yet

after missions- slow sensual love making

other times- def y’all fucking for hours

hmm why do i see semi public sex as a thing- like in the bathroom at the butterfly estate after getting wounds patched up

and y’all definitely still have sex even if zenitsu and inosuke are in the other room

loves keeping you quiet with his hands

overall y’all have such a fun and sweet sex life, tons of communication

#awww pls he’s so cute #i’ve never written for tanjiro before #tanjiro kamado #tanjiro fluff #tanjiro headcanons #tanjiro fanfic #demon slayer headcanons #demon slayer #rengoku kyojuro #zenitsu #inosuke hashibira #uzui tengen

[imaddicted2hs]

A one shot of enemies to friends to lovers

Another one shot yes because i don't feel like continuing the series i started just yet.

This is not my best work why lie. I could have done way better but i guess i got too excited to just finish it. Though promise, next post will be better than this because i will give it time.

--------------------------------------

Word Count- 2,527

warnings- none

happy reading!!

Nothing is better than a romantic weather with pink skies and soft breeze carrying a sweet smell of wet leaves. But sitting with your legs on the dashboard as you and your friend (with whom you are secretly in love with) jam together to the songs loudly, driving past wide, empty fields, is a cherry on the top really. "Are we ever going to make a stop or our plan is to drive until the fuel tank is empty?" He doesn't answer right away. I stare at his side profile, which I dare to say is perfect, waiting for a response. "I know it's hard for you to stay still in a place like a good pup, but 10 more minutes babe, we are almost at our motel." I dramatically gasp and smack his arm which makes him chuckle.

Long story short, few months back as I was walking past the school lab, my ears couldn't help but listen to someone talk through the paper thin walls. It was that cocky voice which I could recognize from miles away. Harry Styles. My biggest enemy and academic rival. If someone told me at the time that I'll be hanging out with him and secretly even like him a lot, I would have declared that person delusional. He and I had all the same classes and what can I say other than that everyone knew if we got a chance to stab each other to death we wouldn't let it slide. He wanted to be the one to score the most and so did I. We pulled all sort of pranks just to bring the other one down at our level. Ms. Grey, our English professor never gave any of us the chance to answer in class because it all ended with torn notebooks, weird drawings on the faces and the class hooting. Yes we both have had a perfect record other than those countless detentions because of each other. "UGH finally. I have been dying to pee and take a shower." I see him roll his eyes but I don't pay any mind to it because I'm too busy collecting my stuff and leaving the old red mustang. My grandmother was crazy about cars and made sure to leave the best one of her collections for her best granddaughter that is me. "Can we have a room with two single beds for one night? Oh and can you please check if you have the once with a balcony." As the receptionist in front of me does her thing, I look out of the window as Harry takes out his stuff from the backseat and closes the door. Not for a single second I take my eyes off of him until the lady that was long forgotten by me clears her throat for my attention. "Oh yeah sorry." I smile awkwardly as I pick up the key kept in front of me. "Gimme the keys I'll open the door, make the payment and keep the stuff so that you can go collect your stuff you forgot in the backseat and lock the car because you brought the keys with yourself." I sigh and hand him the key and make a quick run outside.

I'm huffing like a mad person as I finally reach the fourth floor because this place didn't have an elevator. My eyes widen as I hear the shower running and I don't waste a second to bang on the door and shout "how dare you, you cheater! You knew I wanted to use the bathroom badly you cruel ass." I whine. I sit angrily on the bed staring at the door so that as soon as it opens I can ruin his pretty face with my nails and maybe bite him so that his body hurts. He opens the door and before I get to throw my tantrum I notice that he is fully dressed and his hair is dry. "But-" he cuts me off "it wasn't in the best condition and you are extremely crazy about hygiene so I just ran some water so that it looks less dirty." I'm embarrassed. "Oh my god I-" "Go use it before you make a mess here" he chuckles and before I turn even more red I leave the room faster than Flash himself. On the first day of the semester last year, he slimed me just because I took his favourite seat and he had to sit in the last row. It was funny to see his face during the whole class and hearing his tone as he introduced himself. Even if I had to face the consequences and get slimed in the end, it was worth it. And today he gave a thought to my pet peeve which has my mind all puzzled. And I even forgot to bring a clean pair of clothes with me inside. I'll have to go out in the towel. I suck in a long breath and open the door to find him on the bed scrolling through his phone. "Can you please close your eyes?" He looks directly at me totally still and the moment I see something change in his eyes he quickly mutters a sure and looks away with his eyes clamped shut before I can figure out the look.

The series of events has been too embarrassing for my liking and I'm almost at the brink of overthinking. "Meet me downstairs in an hour okay?" "Don't forget the whipped cream for me." "Alright and wear a jacket, it gets cold at night." I hum in response and he leaves. What exactly are we doing here? Well after a prank war, unlimited broken pens, thousands of notes lost, the headmaster was fed up with us. We were called in the office after I had pulled a pretty big prank on him which was dope but he denied that wholeheartedly. He hated cats, what an abomination right? So I came early in the morning, and just before the bell, I put not 1 but 4 kittens and a cat in his locker. More to my luck, he was late that day and didn't take the necessary precautions we used to whenever we opened our lockers because locker pranks were the most common ones. He opened it in a hurry and was met with the smallest kitten ready to leap on him. The look on his face as he shrieked didn't go uncaptured ofcourse. He was horrified and I was grinning like the most evil creature. The other two kittens with the help of his hoody climbed on him and started licking his face as he tried to shoo them out of his locker. The cat was the most stubborn and the dirty looks Harry gave to her were too funny. I just couldn't stop laughing. As he finally managed to get rid of them, they all were not in his favour as they started roaming in the corridor creating noises. Teachers who were teaching with the doors open stepped out just to give Harry the annoyed looks while he tried to escape from the crime scene. Even the universe was against him because the smallest kitten had made his way into his bag and made an appearance while Professor Keith was trying to explain the economics crisis. Whole class turned into a chaos as the kitten destroyed the benches with his scratches and other students pushed each other to pet the little devil. This was the limit I guess because we were both sitting in front of the headmaster as he wrote us a 5 days suspension letter. We argued like crazy until he asked us to settle the matter between us right there right then and promise each other to let the whole school live peacefully. We got rid of the suspension letter disaster and as I started to walk out in the corridor he called my name and said he wanted to talk. "Let's call off the war and make a bet." "I'm all ears." "Whoever has the higher GPA in the semester end will get a fully paid one day trip from the loser." I rolled my eyes at him as I laughed just to realise he was serious. "Okay then it's a bet. Also the winner gets the most expensive drink on the Starbucks menu with all the toppings." I never liked coffee but it was a pretty good idea to make one's pocket hurt. He throwed a terrified look which quickly changed into a neutral expression before he nodded and walked away as I stared at his tall figure.

From that day we still competed but through out the process we actually grew closer by slowly clearing each other's doubt when we were the only ones in the library late at night to offering each other pens and snacks. I heard him listening to my favorite band and I couldn't help but throw questions at him out of the blue. I caught him off guard that day because he stuttered non stop and didn't look at my face for longer than a second. I didn't realize when we became friends but it turned out pretty good. So who's paying? Harry ofcourse. He left one hour earlier to get the most expensive drink on the menu and some other snacks before we go to a view point. I wanted it to be a road trip because that's the best you can do in a single day. I had a 4.0 GPA whereas his was 3.9. Not a big difference but I still won. I glance at the table clock and it's been 50 minutes since he left. I put my hair in a braid, curly hair are impossible to handle. I make my way down stairs and I see him with the mustang in the parking lot. I make my way over and without wasting a minute I open the door, sit and grin at him. It's just a 5 minute ride which I'm thankful for because driving at night at like 10 p.m. isn't my favorite thing. I get out of the car and as soon as I look ahead, I'm stunned. The most perfect view I have ever seen is in front of me as the cold breeze is all I can feel and hear. With tall trees on both the sides of the cliff, a lightened town below us and a starry night above us, I'm breathless. It's so perfect. I turn to look at Harry and he's already looking at me. He's holding everything and he gestures for me to sit on the hood. So I do. He takes a seat beside me with all types of snacks between us. He hands me the drink and I laugh at his same expression. "I don't even like coffee, I just wanted to let the loser lose some money too." He looks at me offended and shocked. "You are cruel. I don't like coffee too." "Well we need to drink it though. Let's share it hm?" I offer him picking up a red cup from the stash. He's hesitant but nods eventually taking the cup from my hand. "So how much?" "This coffee itself was 61 dollars" I gasp wide eyed. "You're kidding???" All I get is a shoulder shrug and a tight lipped smile as I laugh in shock. "Now I feel bad." "We both know you don't." He rolls his eyes as we both give it a try. "Okay it's not THAT bad you know." "Yeah because you got all the toppings and I got only coffee!" He accuses me even if I didn't attempt so. I squint my eyes then I just offer him my drink. "Oh- oh. Uhm. You sure?" He's blushing? Why? "Yeah I'm sure. Here. Give me yours." He smells great. He always does. "So how does it feel to lose?" I wiggle my eyebrows at him. "I let you win babe." I scoff at his response while he sips on his coffee making faces.

"Can I ask you something?" I take the opportunity to ask him something I have always thought of everytime we talked or everytime I saw him. "Go ahead." "Why were you always rude to me?" his shoulders stiffen all of a sudden, "since the day I joined this school, even in homeroom, when we had no classes together you didn't shake my hand when I offered. Everyone was kind to me but you just stared at me." I look at him as he stares ahead barely breathing. "Harry." He whips his head towards me. "Why?" He just looks me in the eyes as I do the same. "I liked you." My eyes widen and I quickly look away. "Wha-" "I saw you and I was so mesmerized by you. By your confidence, by your looks, by your voice. And I was competitive and rude three years ago." I can't believe my ears. This is not happening. It can't be. "I couldn't believe it and thought if I showed you I'm capable too, you will like me. But you didn't spare a single glance at me because of how I acted on the first day." I'm not able to comprehend the words as I listen to him. "But you wanted to be first? The bet too?" I ask him without looking at him. "It never was about the grades. I wanted you. So when an year after that we had all the classes together I did everything to just make you notice me. Even if it included all the pranks, the competition and fights." I'm too stunned to speak. As I turn my head, I look in his eyes and they carry guilt. Like he's trying to apologize. "I liked you too but never knew why you hated me. So I started hating you too." "You still like me?" He's quick to ask after my confession." I nod slightly in response. "Good because I still like you too." Before I get to open my mouth, he cradles my face with his big hand and pulls me towards him. Our foreheads touch as he stares right into my eyes. I can smell the scent of coffee in his breathe and his sandlewood smell. I glance towards his lips and I think he takes the hint as he wastes not even a second in wrapping his lips into mine. He's impatient and fast and he doesn't stop. Neither do I. Our tongues fight for the dominance and I give up easily because he's too good. I let him explore my mouth, I let him bite my lips, I let him devour me. I soon run out of breathe though because I pull away panting as he stares me with those eyes and I feel small under his gaze. I peck at his lips as I move the stash of food aside and come close. I hold on too his arm tightly and snuggle into him. We both look at the beauty in front of us as we feel each other's presence without uttering another word.

Reblogs, comments and likes are appreciated:)

#harry styles imagine #harry styles #harry styles cute #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fluff #harry styles fic #1d memes #harry 1d #one direction #harry styles enemies to lovers

[happysadyoyo]

Radfems don't want trans people to die...they just want to keep biological males out of female spaces. And for there to be more awareness, treatment options, and support for women and girls who are dysphoric/detransitioned. Body mutilation and cross sex hormones are not the only ways to treat gender dysphoria. Women are not your enemy. But, I think you know that because deep down you are still one.

Bold to come to me on a day where I'm already in a sour mood.

First and foremost what is a biological male? How can you just look at someone and know "oh yes, that person has XY chromosomes, secondary sex characteristics consistent with higher androgen levels, small gametes, "male" external genitalia, etc?"

I'll give you a clue: you can't. Because cis women have been attacked in their own bathrooms. Because a trans dude got attacked in the bathroom that matches his "biological sex". Or, what's funniest to me, when people post pictures of cis women actors as bait to make radfems look the fool.

Also what is a "biological woman?" Where do we draw that line? Cause we've seen cis black women get taken out of sports due to androgen screening -- you know, to try and keep "biological males" out of women's sports. Which I still call bs cause like. Olympic level athletes have very specific mutations that make them good at their sport, be it producing less lactic acid or lungs that are abnormally big.

Are we gonna judge by one's ability to carry a fetus? Well no, of course not. Because then you're claiming infertile people, people who have had hysterectomies, or people post-menopause aren't women.

And did you know there are as many intersex folks as there are redheads in the world? But a lot of those people don't even realize it because it's to do with their hormones or chromosomes, not something super obvious unless they've been tested specifically for it. So should we start doing chromosome checks to screen for people who aren't "biological women".

But no, we know what you're talking about. It's about looking between a baby's legs and that gender marker on their birth certificate. Well, there are intersex and even cis babies that get forcibly assigned female. David Reimer, I'm so sorry I keep dragging you into this. I swear I'm going to summon him and be haunted at some point. But he's proof the little f on your records is bullshit.

Okay, well what about being socialized as a girl growing up? Putting aside the fact that socialization is ultimately a very individual thing where not all women will experience the same stereotypical "female" experiences (hi it's me. I've never in my life been sexually harassed and I didn't realize I'm trans until I was 19) -- well, how do you argue against trans women who realized and started to transition when they were very young?

So pray tell, what is a "biological male" anon? Genuinely tell me because I don't know. And how do you plan to weed them out without hurting women in the process?

Now for the next bit of bs. God I love to see a radfem hiding behind detransitioned trans folks like it's some sort of gotcha.

First, a link so you know I'm not talking out of my ass:

https://www.gendergp.com/detransition-facts/

Now, let's talk. People who detransition? Are a very, very, very small minority of people in the world. We're talking about a tiny fraction of a sma but not insignificant fraction of the world population. The biggest study done to date said 8% of 28000 people (so less than 2500 folks) experienced some kind of detransition. Important words there: some kind. Maybe it was a total detransition, maybe not. Now, out of those 2500 folks, 62% were only detransitioning due to outside pressures -- family, finances, what have you. They didn't want to detransition. They just didn't have a choice. That leaves about 1000 folks who realized they weren't trans after all. That's such a small amount of people, and without us even going into where they were at in transitioning when they desisted. How many of them were socially transitioning, medically? How many had surgery? I don't know cause I'm not looking that deep atm.

And here's the thing about hormones and surgery. Little kids? They don't get access to it. Young teens? Generally told to wait and work through it, maybe with the help of puberty blockers to give them time to think and process. Puberty blockers that, btw, have been used on cis kids for ages now.

Older teens may get access to hormones if they have super supportive parents, which come on. We know that's a minority. Like, let's be realistic here. Trans people as a whole aren't so accepted to get access to medical transitioning without a ton of hoops to go through. And surgery? Ha, if you think teenage girls are just gonna be able to lop their breasts off with any sort of ease, what Kool aid have you been drinking? Seriously I want some. We are talking about a medical institution that won't let full grown women get their tubes tied until they're married, have kids, and get their husband's permission.

And is there sometimes regret with shit like top surgery? Yeah, there is. Sometimes it has to do with a lack of knowledge, like that a quarterish of top surgeries need some sort of revision to really make someone feel right. I learned that literally yesterday. Sometimes it's just regret.

But by the time most people are old enough to get top surgery they're adults. And I think we can allow adults to make their own decisions. Plus, so what if a woman has no tits? There's plenty of women who lose them due to shit like breast cancer. Insinuating that mastectomy is mutilation without actually talking to someone who calls it that for themselves is gross.

And finally. I'm not a woman. Fuck you and the duck you waddled in on.

#transandrophobia #transphobia

[we-are-all-of-legend-now]

Fictober Day 10: It's Alright, I'm Here Now

Prompt number: Prompt #10

Fandom: American Dragon Jake Long

Pairings/Characters: Jake/Rose

Rating: T

Warnings: blood; violence; injuries; restraints

You can read under the cut or click here to read it on fanfiction

Jake froze.

                Did that sound come from outside? Gramps wasn’t supposed to be back tonight. No one was supposed to be here. Jake hated the way that the fear rolled through his stomach and then through the rest of his body but he couldn’t help it. Anyone who was in his position and wasn’t scared was an idiot and Jake had grown up a lot. He wasn’t dumb enough anymore to think that he was invincible or that he was the biggest, strongest thing out there. The older he got, the older his enemies got too.

                Jake thought he heard another sound. Moving very slowly, he sunk down to the floor and started to crawl his way toward the basement. There was a safe room in there, to make the safe house as safe as it could be. All he had to do was get down the basement steps and cross the floor and he would be safe until Gramps came back and told Jake that there was nothing outside. Jake was just being paranoid which was a good thing this time because it might just save his life.

                There was a definite rattling at the door which made Jake feel better. If he had been found, they wouldn’t be trying the front door. It didn’t mean that he was going to stay sitting on the living room floor, inviting death in.

                Jake was halfway down the basement stairs when he heard it.

                “Jake, oh, Jake.”

                It was so quiet that it could have almost been the wind. Almost. If Jake didn’t know that voice as well as he knew his own rapidly beating heart. She was here.

                Rose had found him.

                Jake threw himself down the stairs, giving in to his flight instinct. He just had to get to the safe room. Not even Rose could get in there; Gramps had made sure. They knew it was a possibility that she would find him – she had always been the smart one – and they knew that she wouldn’t show him an ounce of mercy anymore. In the name of love, Jake had messed up far too much for Rose to show mercy anymore. He’d had to run to a safe house because she had actively started hunting him on the Huntsman’s orders, putting his entire family in danger. He slipped on the bottom stair and then he felt hands on him. He let out a squeal of terror.

                “Shh,” Rose murmured sensually, her lips against his ear, her body pressed against his back. “It’s all right, I’m here now.”

                “Please, don’t do this.”

                “I told you we’re enemies now.” Rose pushed Jake away and he fell to the ground. Now was the time for him to transform and try to fight back but looking up at her, Jake knew that he didn’t have it in him to seriously hurt her. Gramps had known it too. It was probably why he had insisted on the safe house. “So, I’m going to act accordingly.”

                “It really all meant nothing?” Jake asked, getting up while Rose stared at him with her cold blue eyes. “You never miss me or think of us or wish that we could go back?”

                Because Jake did, all the time. He woke up every morning with the phantom of her in his arms, thought about texting her every second of every day, and even thought about picking fights with the Huntsclan just so that he could hear her voice. He stared at Rose, wishing that she could read all of the thoughts of love and missing her that were running through his mind. Rose looked completely impassive. She might as well have her mask on for all the expression that she had.

                “You can’t love someone who did what you did,” she replied.

                “So, you’re just going to kill me?”

                “Eventually,” Rose said casually, drawing her Huntstaff from her weapons belt. “Master said if I was the one to find you, I could play with my food a little. Not the others, though. He didn’t trust that you wouldn’t get away from them.”

                “Why are you doing this?”

                “Because he told me to and he is my Master and I have to.” Rose paused, considering. “And I volunteered.”

                Jake transformed into a dragon, seeing the way that she had stopped idly playing with her Huntstaff and became more intentional in her movements. Jake held his breath thinking, for a moment, that she wasn’t really going to do this. This wasn’t really happening. And, then, it was. Rose launched forward, drawing blood with her first strike. Jake retreated the best that he was able in the basement with the low ceilings. If he could just get up the stairs or into the safe room he could avoid all of this. Rose was almost lazy in her efforts to keep him away from the stairs, as if she knew that she didn’t really have to try. Jake took a few half-hearted swipes at her and then launched a fireball that quickly fizzled out. Every time he reached out, Rose drew blood.

                Jake felt more and more defeated every time because this could not be the same girl that he loved. This couldn’t be the same woman who did everything she could to carve out stolen moments for the two of them where she would put her head on his shoulder and they dreamt of a world where you could run away and be together. This couldn’t be the person that kissed him so tenderly that it could bring tears to his eyes. This wasn’t the Rose that he missed.

                But she was still Rose and he couldn’t bring himself to do anything to her, even with the ease that she hurt him.

                Rose backed him into a corner, the sharp end of her Huntstaff in his throat.

                “Why aren’t you fighting back?” she asked him. “Don’t you care if you live or die?”

                “I died the day I lost you. I did the wrong thing then but I’m not going to make this worse on myself by hurting you.”

                “You didn’t lose me, you chose not to have me!” The pressure of her staff increased and Jake closed his eyes. “It didn’t have to be this way.”

                She was right but Jake didn’t regret it. He let out a breath and then let himself lapse back into a human.

                “I still love you,” Jake said, “and I’m not going to fight you. Do what you have to do.”

                Jake didn’t believe that she was actually going to do it. Her staff lowered and, for a moment, he felt a flicker of hope that the Rose had had always known was going to spring back to life. She took something else out of her utility belt and, before Jake knew it, was trapped under the weight of a sphinx hair net. Rose kicked at him until he was lying flat on his back, staring up at the ceiling. Then, Rose straddled him, reaching under the net to pet his cheek.

                “You killed the girl you loved,” she told him. “That version of Rose isn’t here now. It’s just me. It’s just the Huntsgirl. That’s all I have. That’s all I am.”

                Rose put her staff to the side and leant over Jake. She bent forward and Jake closed his eyes as her lips pressed to his through the mesh in the net. Everything that he had ever felt for her, everything that they had ever put each other through, every dream he still had for them rushed through his mind at her touch again. Jake slowly opened his eyes as she leant away. That had to mean something to her too, right?

                Rose pulled out a dagger from her weapons belt.

                “I was eavesdropping earlier,” she said, “and I know what time your grandfather will be back in the morning. There’s a fifty-fifty chance that you’re still alive when that happens.”

                With confident ease, Rose slit both of his wrists in three places.

                Then, she stood and looked down at him, nodding with satisfaction as Jake tried to move, to pick up his hands and held himself, but he couldn’t.

                “Pray you bleed slow,” she said.

                Then she was gone and Jake was left to wonder if he wanted to be alive by the time Gramps got here.

#fictober23 #american dragon jake long #adjl #adjl rose #jake/rose #tw: violence #tw: blood #tw: injuries #tw: restraints #my fanfiction #brea writes things #the last letter #wearealloflegendnow

[igotlostinthesewers]

Some Type Of Drug

Chapter Two: I can't. I shouldn't. But it will kill me if I don't.

Pairing: Leonardo x Reader

Reader type: Gender Nuetral

Song: Universe (Slowed and Reverb)- Hazy

Warnings: Some light swearing.

An: And here's chapter two. I hope that you enjoy. An feedback is always welcome or just to let me know if I have a spelling error or two is appreciated.

Word Count: 3064

"My heart is a cathedral. Windows, ghosts and lovers sit and sing in the dark, arched marrow of me."

-Segovia Amil (Via willowingsleep)

He was fucked. Leo decided. For the last two weeks his thoughts have been nothing but you. Not only that but he had broken the one rule. The only and biggest rule he and his brothers had set.

Don't let the humans see them. 

And he broke that. He didn't know what he had been thinking. Hell, it had been sheer coincidence that he had ran into you and them. That alley was out of his normal patrol. Something, or perhaps someone, just. Told him he had to go. If there was any god or deity he had believed in. Or perhaps, and most likely, it was his own instincts, had driven him to go off his normal path. 

Leo had watched. Waited. As you fought against the Foot soldiers. He had to admit that you were a good fighter. Body and stance more than good as you fought on with a brawler type style to defend yourself.  Your movements fluid, quick and sure. It was if you, like him, had spent a lifetime honing and crafting your skill. Your style. 

He had only stepped in when he heard more of the Foot soldiers coming. And as good as you were, even he needed help when the enemy overran him. So he threw those two off. The mere sight of him enough to drive them away. Maybe they thought the rest of his brothers were near. Maybe they were actually scared of him. Either way the two of you were left alone.

"Don't freak out." Oh it had hurt him to speak those words. Knowing full well that despite what he said you would most likely do just that. Just, turn and run. He felt though that it would be easier to handle himself than watching it happen to one of his brothers. Again. Poor Mikey. 

But you? Oh you.

You had done nothing. Said nothing. Just. Looking. Drank him in like he did you. 

You had a sturdy frame. Muscled arms and legs evident through your rain soaked clothes.But you were also soft and rounded in the way only humans could be. So different from himself and his brothers. He could smell blood on you. Yours or theirs he didn't know. He could hear your breathe. Ragged and shallow evening out. Even as you looked upon him. 

The mutant. The monster. The thing that most are afraid of.

And your eyes. Oh those eyes. Dark and lashed. They went from a heavy glare, focused and narrowed, waiting for the next attack that would never come. Not from him at least. Then they softened. Filled with nothing more than a childlike curiosity.

Even after he stepped forward. Thudding a heavy foot against the rain soaked ground. Water splashed and spilled over his shoe. Did he do this to scare you? To test you? He did not know. All you did was step back and fix him with a look he didn't think he you were really aware of. Confused but still curious.  

And then you said that you weren't afraid. Not scared. Sure you were nervous but. Not afraid. Even April had passed out. Casey had tried to fight them. Using aggression to hide his fear. But you. 

You didn't think he could hurt your. That he would hurt you.

Leo shakes his head. Sitting back on his heels. He was outside on an early morning patrol. Trying and failing to clear his thoughts of you.  He's been watching over you. Not. Not stalking as Mikey liked to tease.

"Ohhh! You so have the hots for them don't you? C'mon ya gotta tell us what they look like!" Leo had just snorted a laugh and gave his youngest brother a playful shove.

"Hardly Mikey. The Foot may still be after them for just knowing that they exists." That's what he said anyways.

So he watched and waited. For what he wasn't sure yet. To see if you would seek him out? To walk the same path you did that night in hopes to meet him. Something about that thought made his heart jolt. 

He may not know the true answer to his curiosity about you but he has learned your routine over the past weeks. You would draw your curtains back at five every day. Weather or not you worked at the small cafe that Donnie liked to order from. You would then feed your cat. At some point you would crack your window open. Sitting on a worn chair as you smoked. The smell of tobacco, vanilla, and coffee would float over to him on cold morning air.

When you were done you would exercise. Stretching then running on your treadmill. Then you would practice your boxing. He was right when he guessed it was a lifelong skill of yours. Watching as you ducked and weaved. Sometimes your would repeat the same thing over and over. Taking little breaks until you got it right. Then you would continue on. Following the movement until you could do it just as easily as you breathed.

Sometimes though you would meditate. Back straight and legs crossed. The morning light angled on your lap. A spot your cat like to lay on. Soaking up the warmth the sun had to offer. But more often that not he would find you still sitting on the floor. Gaze focused on nothing. Looking as if you had the entirety of the world on your shoulders. And maybe you did. Leo wold not pretend to know your life. Your journey to this point.

He gazed down to your phone in his hand when you disappear into another room. Falling back into the darkness of your home. When  you had gotten home safely he had went back. Back to the place he two of you first met.

There was you phone. Rain soaked and cracked. The screen flickered when he hit the power button. The lock screen had you face. Lighter, smiling brightly. You were next to some dark haired person. Their face partially obscured by the broken screen. Before he could do anything else the phone had sputtered. Then died. 

He should have just broken it. Tossed the damn thing into the trash bin next to him. But he didn't. Instead he had brought it to Donnie.Asking his brother if he could fix it. He could. Little surprise there.

That's what had brought on the teasing. Leo one one of the only ones out of his brothers that just. Didn't try.

Sure they had friends within the police department. But it was more of an acquaintance than anything else. They only saw them when at the building. But unlike Donnie, who liked to learn more about them, and Mikey, who craved interaction with his extroverted personality. Leo did little.Said even less. He was polite. Helped when needed. And that was about that. Even Raph would interact with them more. Mostly to mess with the newbies that would come in. But still.

Leo had taken their teasing in stride. Hiding it under the guise of just. Trying to be helpful. To keep one of the few civilians safe that knew of their existence. It was bullshit. Even to hi. here was something about you he wanted to find out. There was an air about you few had. He just . Leo had to know.

It looked as if he would find out sooner rather than later. You were back and writing on your window.

:Stalking? Mr. Ninja?:

Leo snorted a laugh as you poked your head out from beside the word ninja. Your writing as a chaotically pretty, sprawling script. You soon erased it then wrote.

:Want to come in?:

At that you unlocked a large window and swung it open. Looking as if you were just letting in the morning air. You then turned and left to go deeper into you apartment. The invitation was clear.

Does he risk it? Seeing you. Your home. He does have your phone. He's spent most of the week working up the courage to just. Leave it at that very window. And here you were, inviting him in.

In the end is own curiosity won out. Soon he he poking his head through your open window and almost pulls back when he see's you leaning against your kitchen counter. A white and gray cat winding between your legs.

Lwo shifts and the cat sees him. For a brief moment the two of them stare. Much to your amusement. Before Zeki is gone, darting into the open door of your bedroom.His little bell jingling wildly with him.

"Hello." Leo swallows. You set your cup down and motion to him to come inside with a ringed hand.

"You can come in. Ya know?" You laugh. "Or you can let the neighbours check out your ass. I know that Susan across the way won't complain." With that Leo is pulling himself inside. He steps behind a dark and thick curtain. Watching you intently as yo come forward. Closing the window and drawing the rest of the curtains close.

You were dressed lightly he noticed. Dark grey sweatpants hung from your hips. And you wore an even darker, loose, long sleeved t shirt. The sleeves of which were rolled up to your elbows. He could see the mottled bruising on your forearms. The broken, but healing, skin on your knuckles.

"You want something to drink? I've got coffee. Some tea." Leo's eyes followed you as you walked into the kitchen. "I've got some breakfast to." Your head nodded at your oven. You then went to your cabinet. Reaching for some mugs. When he didn't reply you glanced at him from over your shoulder.

"I don't bite. Ya know?" You said it so softly. Almost that nonchalant air from a moment ago.

Were you regretting this? He wondered. Inviting the mutant turtle into your home. 

The smell of vanilla and tobacco was stronger now. And, strangely enough, so was the smell of rain.

"Tea. Thank you." The words felt thick in his throat.

"I've got early grey. Some black tea." You trailed off. Shuffling boxes and tins around in the cabinet above your sink. "There's some hibiscus and green tea as well." You look to him.  A tin in each hand.

"Black tea would be nice. Thank you." Leo swallowed. Still watching you as you moved about in your kitchen. Everything about it felt so wrong. But oh so pleasant.

You were treating him like an old friend coming over for a visit. Overlooking the giant green turtle in the room. It. God. It was beyond nice to just. Be normal.

There was silence between the two of you. Nothing but the babbling of boiling water. The in and out of your shared breathing. If Leonardo paused, listened. He could hear people just now waking up. The thrum of the vehicles outside. 

There. The cats bell jingled. Small feet pattered against a wooden floor. 

Normal. This was normal.

When the tea is done you set it in front of him. Taking a seat across from him you motion for him to do the same. Leo worries for a brief moment that he'll break the small stool when it whines against his wait. Thankfully it holds.

You are holding your own cup of coffee. Staring down into the dark reflection of yourself that it offered. Your hands are trembling. Sending waves through your drink. Breaking up your already broken face. Your heart was fluttering and your breath felt as if though it were being pulled from your chest.

"Thank you." You tell him. Voice more even and sure than you felt. Leonardo on the other hand was shocked. Thank you? Your thanking him? For what? And he asked you exactly that.

"For helping me. For saving me?" More of a question. You lean back. Shoulders straight. It is now, as your face catches the light from a crack fro between the curtain, that he see's it.

A bruise is cradling your jaw. Your bottom lip is split and shiny. As if you had placed an antiseptic there. You nose was darkened. Purpled and slightly puffy around your eyes.

Those eyes catch him. Lit up by the morning sun. In that moment, for a brief second, Leonardo wondered what he looked like though those eyes.

A monster?

A saviour?

"Just. Thank you." Your face softened as  you glance back down. "I'm sorry if it doesn't sound like I am. I'm. I'm not." You pause. Mouth a word. "I'm not good. At this." You tap your thumb on your lip. "But I am grateful. I don't think neutralized means to be taken out for a nice dinner." You let out a soft rush of air.

It is quiet again. Leonardo just. Takes it all in. Soaks in those words. No one. And he means no one. Has thanked him. Let alone any of them. Ever. His heart flutters. He licks at his lips. Takes a drink of his tea. The cup just a shy away from too small in his hand.

"Here." He places your now fixed phone in front of you. Quickly you placed your coffee to the side.

"Is that my phone?" You sound surprised, happy, and almost sad in away.

"Ya. I. Well i'm assuming that it's yours." His fingers skim across the counter and he pulls his hand away. "You face was on the lock screen." You open your mouth. Close it. Then your eyes and heave a shuddering sigh.

"You." You start. Fingers on your lips. "Thank you. God. Fucking thank you." He could see the almost tears in your eyes. "Jesus thank you." You are quick to grab the phone. Fingers softly brushing the unbroken screen.

Leo didn't really understand. He expected you to be happy, yes. But. This was different. It was more like you were relieved.

"I'm sorry if I seem weird. It just." You? Weird. He could almost laugh. But he doesn't as you stare at the phone. The light casting odd shadows on your face. "It was my sisters."

Was. 

Leonardo did not bring it up.

Was. Was. Was. 

"It's not weird at all." And when you look up at him ridiculously he added. "Honestly. Ninja's honor." His fingers crossed his heart. He would act the same if his brothers became a "was".

You were silent for a moment. Then break out into a soft laughter.

"Turtle. You tell me to forget you. Practically for the 'No one talks about fight club' rule. " You place the phone down. Elbow on the table. Pointing a finger at him you continue. "And here you are, watching me outside my home. Giving me back my phone. And I don't even know your damn name."

Leonardo was glad that blushing does not show up on his skinm

"I." He sutters. And He does not sutter. Leo clears his throat. "I was watching over you to make sure that the Foot hadn't figured out were you lived." There. The truth.

Mostly.

You laugh. "That better be the only reason Blue. I've gotten on people over less." You laugh. "You're not that hidden though. It always takes me a bit to find ya. Ya but. When I do your kinda hard to miss." What?

"What?" He asks and you laugh again.

"I've got keen eyes Blue. Hunters eyes. Gotta pick out the things that blend in." You look up at him though your lashes. Arms crossed over your chest. "My name is Y/n. By the way."

"Im Leonardo." You hold your hand out across the table and he takes it. Engulfing your hand with his. Your hand is the first to pull away. Smaller fingers skimming across the palm of his hand that has Leo suppressing a shudder. 

"It's nice to meet you. Leonardo." Leo finds himself liking the way your mouth forms over his name.

"Now then. Ya hungry?" You pull away from the table. "Turtles each veggies right? I've got like. Tomatoes and shit." And this Leo laughs. Truly and genuinely.

"I mean ya but. I eat other things to." You nod your head at him. Smiling.

"Oh? Like what?" Leo feels light. Lighter than he's ever been before.

"Just about anything you can. Pizza. Steaks." He pauses. "People." You blanch at this and leo has a moment of panic that he just fucked up.

Then you are doubled over laughing. Hands on knees, wheezing laughter. Uttering "Ow Fuck." As you hold your ribs. You are still chuckling as you pull yourself upright. Delicately wiping away the tears from your eyes as to not hurt your already sprained nose.

"So, the protein powder just not enough anymore? I'd imagine you'd have to go through barrels of it to be as big as you." Leo is biting back his own laughter. If only you had seen Raph instead of him.

"It was. But then I just had to go straight to the source." This sent you into another bout of laughter. Leo felt as if he could float on this. Chasing after some unseen high off your mirth.

"God. Here.Just. Jesus that's funny." You hand him a large burrito wrapped in foil.  It's so warm it almost burns him. "Hope you like sausage Blue." He did. Actually. Before he could open it though, his own phone vibrated in his pocket. Letting out some cheerful jingle Mikey had put on it.

:Where r u?:

:Bro ur missing practice.:

Shit.

"Sorry." He tells you. Standing up and pushing your stool back under your counter. "I've got to go." He didn't. Really didn't want to leave. And even less so when he caught that creastallen look on your face. You hand him back his burrito.

"Hey. It's all good Blue." The clenching of you jaw says otherwise. "I know nothing about this. Right?" You ask him. And normally he would agree. Tell you to forget about him. To forget everything you have seen.

"No. You. You can remember this." And if he could, if he was ever given the chance to see you again. He would pull more smiles just like the one brightening your face right now from you.

He is almost back to the window when you call out to him.

"Will I see you again Leonardo?" And he pauses. Swallows. And before he could back out, let the dimming courage in him die. He is giving you his number. Using the marker from earlier to write it onto your window.

"If the Foot ever give you trouble. Call this number." And with that he is gone. Leaving you to loo out an open window and fluttering curtains.

His phone number written in blue on the glass.

#tmnt x reader #tmnt #tmnt leonardo x reader #tmnt leonardo #leonardo x reader #mutant ninja turtles #some type of drug

[xxblackballoonxx]

The Heart Underneath: Chapter 21

***This fic is being posted simultaneously on FanFiction.net and Ao3. I originally began it in 2016, and then life was life, and now I’m bringing it back because it deserves to be finished! Rating M as of Chapter 10 ***

Chapter 20: J&M Letters 3 Chapter 22: J&M Letters 4

THU Masterlist

The Heart Underneath

Chapter 21: December 1915 (19 and 20)

John sat against a tree behind the cottage, Martha leaning back against him. Will was wrapped up in blankets in a basket next to them, asleep. It was warm for an early December day, and after lunch, they set up a blanket outside. John had his arms wrapped around Martha, resting his head against hers, trying to stay in the moment as long as possible.

It was getting harder from him to keep the memories and nightmares of war separate from his time on leave. He would close his eyes, focus on home, and instead sometimes see the faces of the men he'd killed or the men who had been killed beside him. He knew Martha sensed this profound change in him but he hadn't been able to really talk about it.  

The cottage trip was a much needed respite from the front lines of his mind, but even here, the visions still crept in on the edges. He constantly scanned the woods for signs of an enemy that did not exist here, no matter how isolated the cottage was from the battlefields. He listened to every sound, trying to stay still and calm, recognizing somewhere deep down that this might be the way he was forever now. Always a little on edge, always waiting for something to happen.

Martha could feel the tension in his body, even though his arms were loosely around her. She could feel the way he started when a bird chirped or a branch deep into the woods cracked, the rustling of dead stalks in the fields. She let her body rest completely against his chest, trying to soothe him. But she knew they had to talk about it.

"What are you thinking about?" Martha asked quietly, linking their hands together.

John was silent for a moment, he knew the question was heavier than her words. If he couldn't share this with Martha, the person who knew and understood him best, who could he share it with? 

"There's things I've done, Mar, things I can't take back or forget. And ... I worry that they're going to haunt me forever.  Change me so much that you wouldn't recognize me." John replied somberly.

Martha sat up and turned around, kneeling so that she was face to face with John. He kept his head down, shoulders slumped, and it was enough to make her cry. But she held back her tears and wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him closely to her.

"I've killed people. Boys no older than me." John whispered into her hair.

"Look at me, John." Martha said calmly, pulling back a bit so she could see him.

John shook his head, and she put her hands on either side of his face. 

"Love, look at me." Martha said again.

John looked up, tears in his eyes, and Martha rubbing her thumbs against his cheekbones. It was a feeling he would never forget. She looked into his eyes, green to grey blue, and his breathing slowed as the power Martha had over him surrounded him like a cloak. Nothing else, besides the baby still sleeping beside them, mattered. 

Remember this.

"I know who you are. I know you are doing things you have to do, but you won't go beyond that, you won't harm to just harm, you won't kill to just kill. When it gets to be too much, you need to talk to me, darling. Not just because we're married and it's my duty as your wife, but because I love you and you love me, and our souls are together forever. In this life and the next." Martha said, her voice soft and gentle.

"What if I don't come back the same man you married? And you don’t love me anymore?” John whispered.

That was his biggest fear, beyond death really, was that he would come back from this war so changed Martha would no longer love him. He knew it seemed irrational, but the fear remained.

"Oh, Johnny. That could never happen, love. I promise you. Might it be difficult for you to transition back to our normal life? Probably. But I could never not love you, John, ever. Don't ever believe that. You are a part of me and I am a part of you. You are going to make it through this and you are going to come back to your family at the end." Martha stated solemnly, looking into the eyes she knew so well.

John watched her face for a moment, her eyes so determined, her face so serious. He knew she meant it, that no matter what happened, she would be there for him. He wasn’t sure how long she knelt there in front him, that spell she cast always seemed to make him lose track of time.

Will cried out quietly from the basket, and Martha kissed John before turning to reach for the baby. She picked him up and handed him over to John, who held the boy close. It was strange, looking into eyes that so closely matched his own, it was like looking at himself. Which made him wonder all the more how parents could be so horrendous to their children, like Arthur Sr. had been to him.

“I think he’s hungry. I’ll feed him first and then let's go for a walk, yeah?” Martha said.

John nodded and waited for Martha to settle back in between his legs, unbuttoning her shirtwaist, before handing over Will. The baby’s cries quieted as he nursed, and John tried to relax again, running his hand through Martha’s hair. He had his arm wrapped around her waist and put his hand to her stomach, thinking about whoever was in there. Martha was nearly four months along, and it started to become real, that they were having a second baby in the spring.

************************************************************************

That night, as Martha cooked supper, John sat at the table with Will propped up in front of him.  Will was finding peekaboo hilarious and John covered his face with one hand, laughing as Will laughed at him. Martha turned to watch from the stove, it meant so much seeing the two of them together, enjoying each other's company. She knew how much it meant to John as well.

“Supper's ready. Do you want to put him down?” Martha asked, as she carried their plates to the table.

“Nah, love, I’ll hold him.” John replied, picking Will up off the table and holding him to his chest with his right hand.

Martha set John's plate in front of him and put her hand on the back of his neck, leaning over to kiss his cheek, and then Will. As she turned towards her seat, her hand still lingering, she caught John’s eye. The unspoken desire between them burned as he reached up and took her hand, putting his lips to her palm, before letting go.  

Later, as Martha fed Will before putting him to bed, John went out to bring in more firewood.  He watched from the doorway, the firelight glinting off of Martha’s hair as she sang softly to Will. She moved her hand to touch her middle for a moment, closing her eyes, and John could tell she was talking to the baby inside of her. Remember this.

They settled Will back into his basket for the evening, John making sure the fire wouldn’t go out. He sat in one of the chairs that faced the hearth, a glass of whiskey in hand, watching as Martha removed her shoes and unpinned her hair. 

The wave of her hair falling had him up and out of the chair, just a few short strides over to the side table that Martha stood in front of.  He put the glass down and wrapped an arm around her waist, gently combing her hair over her shoulder.  John put his lips to her neck, pulling her back in against him, taking in the scent of her perfume. Martha sighed and arched her neck to the side, giving him more room. 

He managed to unbutton her shirtwaist and unhook her skirt before turning her around to face him. He kissed her hard, with all of the need and want of the past months still built up. Finally he pulled for a breath and to take in the scene before him.

Martha stood in front of him, just wearing her undergarments, different shades of white. The fabric reflected the shadows of the flames as she reached down to John’s glass, took a sip, and then placed it back on the table. She could still see the earlier conversation in his eyes like a haze. 

“I love you.” John said, his voice steady and the intensity flickering between them.

He leaned down to pick Martha up and she wrapped her legs around his waist, both hands on his face, pulling him in. John stumbled backwards towards the bed to sit her down, Martha laughing as he swore quietly. Items of clothing were tossed in various directions, John taking control as Martha lay back and felt overcome with desire for him to touch her everywhere.

John had removed the last of her underclothes, leaving just her stockings. Starting with her forehead, he kissed his way slowly down her body, her hands in his hair. When he reached her thighs, he slid down and settled himself between her legs. The way she looked at him was so heated he had to fight the urge to go faster. He was going to take this slow. Very slow.

He kissed her inner thigh and dragged his tongue back up, listening as Martha's breath increased.   He angled her slightly up towards him and placed his open mouth on her core, pressing his tongue against her in the way he knew she liked. Her fingers pulled on his hair slightly which made him grin, nudging her open further.  

Martha lost all sense of time, at some point she realized she was repeating John’s name over and over. He knew every part of her, and sensed just as she did her body starting to tighten and want even more. John locked her stockinged legs around his shoulders, sliding both hands underneath her to lift her up. He moved his tongue even faster, his nose grazing against the most sensitive places, and she screamed his name as she came.  

He kept his mouth on her as she rode through each spasm, running his fingers up and down her thighs. He gave her a few minutes to recover, kneeling between her legs, he was so hard he couldn’t lay down anymore. Martha couldn’t keep her eyes off of him, the light from the fire flickering against the side of his face.

John made his way up back up her body, holding both her hands in his above her head.  He reached down and guided himself inside her, moaning on contact. Martha wrapped her legs around his back and he thrust as hard and as deep into her as he dared. The bed shook as it moved with his force, John kissing Martha’s neck, his hand cupping her breasts.

Martha could barely think, the feel of John inside her, seemingly bigger than ever. He’d filled out a bit more in the time since his last leave, and it seemed like no part had been untouched. His large hand roamed her body, knowing exactly how and where to touch her. She felt completely under his power, his hand still holding both of hers above her head, and she loved it. John was getting close and increased his pace, sinking deeper into her, tightening before his release.

“Fuck, Mar.” He moaned loudly, dropping his head against her chest.

Rolling over and taking her with him, John lay on his back, very aware of Martha’s pregnant state. She laid her head against his bare chest, pulling a sheet up over both of them. He stroked her hip gently, holding her into him, and she knew she would never feel as safe and as loved with anyone else besides John.

“I love that you always take care of me.” Martha said quietly, linking their free hands.

“You’re my girl, darlin’. No one else can look after you like I can.” John said with a devious smile.

Martha caught the double meaning and smiled back, looking up at him as he kissed the top of her head. She sometimes wondered what would've been like if her and John had met later on in life, whether as teenagers or even much older.  She couldn’t imagine loving any other boy, any other man, the way she loved John. And she knew he felt the same.

All of their experiences were intertwined, neither had so much as even kissed someone else. She felt lucky, to have such a deep bond, to have no worry exploring their desires with each other, because they tried everything together. But there was a lurking fear in the back of her mind, of what would happen if John didn’t make it back from the war.

What you do think it’ll be like, when you’re all back home?” Martha asked.

“I guess we’ll continue the numbers, maybe go legit with it. Tommy talks about expanding into the race tracks, which we’ll need a license for anyway. I wouldn’t mind that, I’m good at it. We’ll have each other and the kids to look after, maybe move out to a place like this.” John responded, his mind wandering to how he could accomplish leaving Small Heath.

“How many kids do you think we’ll have? I liked growing up with all of you, built in friends.” 

“Four or five maybe? But I want you to have your own life as well, Mar. I know you love being a mum, but you need time to yourself, too. What is something you want to do once the war is over?”

“I’d like to take on more sewing commissions, that would be nice. I was earning good money doing that, now it’s mostly mending projects here and there, not many people looking for fancy clothing these days.”

“I promise you I’ll make sure you have the space to do it, love. You do so much for me, I want to do that for you.”

Martha looked up at John again, sensing the strange guilt he felt about being away and leaving her to take care of the household while pregnant and caring for a baby.  

“I love taking care of you, and Will, and I will love taking care of this baby when they arrive.  You also do so much for me, my love, let me do the same for you.” Martha said in a serious tone, reaching up to kiss John.

He nodded and slid his hand down to rest against her small bump, still amazed that she was carrying another child already. He hoped Will and his younger sibling would always be close, would always be there for each other.

“Do you think it's a girl or a boy?” John asked.

“Polly says girl. Feels different than last time, so maybe it is.” Martha replied.

She rested her hand on top of his and they let the comfortable silence fall over the room. The fire flickered, and John felt like they were the last people on earth. No war, no death, no sadness. Just his girl and their babies, safe inside the stone walls.

************************************************************************

In the final hours before he had to return to the train station, John sat in Tommy’s old room, wrapping a handful of Christmas presents with tissue paper. He hated that he would miss Will's first Christmas, but tried to tell himself that Will wouldn't remember it anyway. He’d made a trip to the Averills shop the day before, picking up some last minute items, and had also picked up a special gift for Martha. Mrs. Averill had helped him track it down and had been holding onto it for several months, with somber instructions to deliver it to Martha if something happened to John. To everyone's relief, John was able to give it to her himself.

He piled the presents on top of the dresser in their bedroom, to wait for Christmas Day. Martha was packing supplies carefully back into his pack, and he watched for a minute, tears glistening in her eyes.  

“I have something for you, love.” John said with a smile, trying to brighten her mood. Both their moods, really.

Martha smiled back and took the small box from his hand. She carefully opened it to find a gold filigree ring, with a small cluster of diamonds in the middle.  

“It’s beautiful, Johnny. I love it.” Martha whispered in amazement.

“I wanted to give you something really special. Something that signifies you and I, together, always.” John replied.

He took the ring out of the box and slid it onto her finger. It meant his commitment, beyond their wedding vows and wedding rings, because he loved her more than anyone else, because he wanted to be with her every second of every day. A commitment that even when he was gone, their souls were together.

J + M Forever

John was starting to really despise the train. He loved it because it took him to his family, and he hated it when he had to leave them. The somber walks to the platform never seemed to get easier. He carried Will, who rested his head against John’s shoulder, and John vowed to never forget that feeling. Martha gripped his hand tightly, unwilling to let go for even a second. Once they reached the platform, she wrapped both arms around his waist and he held her close into him.  

He took a few minutes to stand there, leaning his head down against Martha’s, taking in how soft her hair was, still lighter from the summer sun. The way Will’s little chubby hand grasped his uniform collar, looking up at him with grey blue eyes that didn’t understand what was happening. Ada, Finn, and Polly, as always standing a little off to the side, dreading each and every one of these farewells.

“I love you and I’m coming back to you.” John whispered as he hugged Will to him tightly. 

Martha looked up and reached her hand out to touch John's face, wanting to remember how he was in this exact moment. He smiled sadly at her and held the back of her head as he kissed her with everything he had, not caring who saw. Then he knelt down in front of her, resting his head against her middle. Now he was leaving a second child behind, one he may never meet.

“Whoever you are in there, I love you and I’m coming back to see you.” John whispered, pressing his lips to the material of Martha's dress.

He rose to his feet, still holding Will, cursing the sound of the incoming train whistle. That sound would forever haunt him in the years to come. He put his hand against Martha’s face, memorizing the feel of her skin.  

“I love you forever, Mar. I am coming back to you.” John promised solemnly.

“Stay safe, darling. I’ll love you my whole life.” Martha replied, running her fingers over his cheekbone one more time.

John kissed her gently and then handed Will over, who started to cry almost instantly. It took everything John had to turn around and walk towards the train. To board and walk into a cabin, to find a seat by the window, like he always did.

He looked out to see Will screaming in Martha’s arms, as she tried to hold in her own tears. He could feel her stare through the glass, the green gaze that fell around him like a cloak of protection. Snow flurries began to fall and they melted against her blonde hair.

John wasn’t sure if he believed in God, but he prayed that he would come back to his family. To green and grey blue, to long blonde hair, and the new soul inside his wife. 

Let me make it back to them. 

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