#but that would mean listening to a white boys podcast which ew

[oifaaa]

To be fair, we can't hear an accent when you type.

Are you saying that when you see me typing your not imagining it in an Irish accent???? Disappointed ngl

#ask #anon #irish accent is kinda broad tho #funny thing is that this did remind me that my brother has a podcast #so if you really wanted to know what type of accent i have you could probably listen to him and then just imagine that 5 pitches higher #but that would mean listening to a white boys podcast which ew

[13-reasons-ideas]

I love that you’re one of the few writers that will write about Monty. I don’t support what he did but I love how much of a complex character do you think you could do a imagine where the reader used to date Monty but broke up bc of his recklessness. She started dating Justin but found out he cheated on her by hooking up with Jessica. Then Monty sneaks into her bedroom window and comforts her and it’s fluffy

“I’m sorry Montgomery.”

“Why (Y/N)?”

“I just can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep watching you self-destruct. I thought that when we got together, that maybe you would stop? That you would realize that your reckless behaviour had to come to an end? You’re an adult now. Your behaviour has actual, real consequences.”

“Self-destruct? You think that’s what it is?”

“I don’t know Monty. That’s just it. You don’t let me in. I never know what is going on in your head. I get you don’t like talking about stuff, but when you’re in a relationship with someone, you’re supposed to talk to them.”

“This is stupid.”

“I’m sorry you feel that way. But you can’t sit here and tell me you haven’t seen this coming. Your behaviour needs to change. Your recklessness needs to stop. Before you do something you really regret or gets you hurt. Or worse. I just can’t be around to see it.”

“(Y/N) please. I’m trying.” He said, grabbing my hand.

“I really am sorry Montgomery. I hope you figure things out.” I smiled sadly at him before walking away, trying my damnedest to hold back tears. I couldn’t bring myself to look back.

TWO MONTHS LATER

I walked into school with my bag slung haphazardly over my shoulder, listening to a podcast on my phone. Before I could make my way to my locker, I was stopped abruptly by a blue and white jacket, causing me to stumble.

“Oof.” I grunted.

“Shit, sorry.” I heard Justin Foley, er… Jensen. Foley-Jensen? say.

“Yeah, whatever.” I replied, trying to walk away from him. Birds of a feather flock together. Same principle for jocks.

“Actually hey (Y/N). Wait up a second.”

I stopped and turned to him, “yes Justin? What can I do for you?”

“Well, when you put it that way, you can let me take you to dinner on Saturday.” He told me, rather than asked. I think I saw his chest puff out a bit.

“Uh, let me think for a minute about that.” I said, fully intending to say no. Suddenly I saw a familiar flannel shirt coming towards us. Making a show of thinking about it before responding, “pick me up at 7. I’ll text you my address.” I turned and walked away. Behind me I could practically hear Montgomery ringing Justin’s neck in his head. As I made my way to physics, I felt someone’s eyes on me. I didn’t need to turn to know who was watching.

Justin kept his word and was outside my house at 6:55 on Saturday. My mom let him in as I was grabbing my coat from my room. “Samantha is just about ready Justin, why don’t you have a seat.” I heard her say to him. Oh no, not the seat trick.

Running out of my room with my coat, I yelled, “that’s okay mom. I’m ready. He doesn’t need to sit.” When I got to the top of the stairs, I stopped. “Hey Justin.”

“Hey Sam.” He waved, “you look pretty tonight.”

I giggled quietly, “thanks.” I haven’t giggled in a long time. Pulling on a pair of worn chucks, I pulled on my coat and Justin led me out to the car. “Bye Mom. Don’t wait up.”

We joked around in the car a bit on the way to the restaurant. “Wait, so you actually told Clay that you’re a ‘fucking awesome driver’ and he believed you? Clay?”

“Yes. And I am, or had you not noticed?” He confirmed, motioning to the steering wheel with one hand.

“No, no I noticed. I’m just surprised Clay agreed. It took him like eight years to acknowledge you as more than ‘that kid’ or ‘ew Justin’.”

“Well, detoxing in a guy’s bedroom can do things to your relationship.”

“You puked on his bed, didn’t you?”

“Yeah… not my finest moment. At least it wasn’t Tony’s jacket.”

“Meh, happens to the best of us. Sometimes it happens. You’re right though. If it was Tony’s jacket, he would have killed you so you were all dead.”

“As opposed to?”

“Just mostly dead.”

Justin laughed heartily at the cheesy joke, “That was a good movie.”

We arrived at the local Italian restaurant and Justin was a wonderful gentleman. He opened my door for me, and we walked hand in hand to the door, which he also opened for me. After we were seated and had ordered, we continued our conversation from the car. “So, skipping over the ‘I was friends with Bryce Walker and that was a time’ thing, who are you?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean we’ve known each other since we were in middle school and all I know about you is you’re a jock, you were friends with Bryce, you dated Jessica Davis, and you were adopted by the Jensen’s for reasons I don’t think we need to discuss too much right now.”

“What do you want to know?”

“What do you like?”

“Like in general?”

“Yes. What does Justin like?”

“Hmmm… okay. Justin likes crappy movies.”

“Okay. What else do you like?”

“Annoying Clay.”

“Well that’s a given. Something I don’t know please?”

“You.” He responded, taking a sip of his water.

I blushed, and played with a strand of my hair, “oh?”

“Yeah. Why else would I have asked you to dinner?”

“I don’t know. You didn’t want to go to a restaurant by yourself?”

“Oh, sweetie. I wouldn’t just ask you for that. I would bring Clay or something. Or put my big boy pants on and come by myself.”

“Okay, okay. I believe you.” I surrendered as our meals came. I tried to hold back a very not first date appropriate moan as I took a bite. My eyes widened instead and Justin chuckled. At least, until he had a bite of his own food. His eyes widened and rolled back slightly. Wow. That’s… wow.

After a few more bites of the wonderful food, Justin directed his attention back to me, “what about you?”

“What about me?”

“What do you like?”

“Oh umm, I like to run.” I said simply. I usually save the absentee father thing for the third date.

“That’s cool. What do you like about it?”

“I like that I can do it by myself and its just me, whatever I’m listening to at the time, and the pavement. I can just focus on that.”

“I can understand that. What else do you like?”

“I like art.”

“I know. I’ve seen you at lunch, hunched over your sketchbook. You always look so focused.”

“It’s nice to have something specific to focus on and get an end result that lasts a lifetime.”

“Can I see some of your drawing sometime?”

“Sure. Only if you let me draw you though.”

“Like one of your French girls?”

“No, you perv. You.”

“Okay, deal.”

“Great. I can’t wait.”

After dinner was done, we made a stop at Monet’s for some dessert. We split a slice of cake and a cookie before calling it a night. He drove me home and we sat in the car for a while, neither of us wanting the night to end. “I should probably head inside. It’s getting late.” I whispered.

“You should. But do you want to?” he whispered back, reaching over to turn my face towards him.

“No.” I whispered back.

“Me either.”

My eyes flickered between his eyes and his lips. He nodded almost imperceptibly, and I leaned in slightly to place a chaste kiss on his lips. They were smooth and tasted like vanilla.

I pulled away first, not really wanting to. “I should go inside now.” I whispered softly, so as not to ruin our moment.

“Okay. I’ll call you tomorrow?”

“Okay.” I nodded and reached for the door handle.

“Bye (Y/N).”

“Bye Justin.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.” He’s really trying to drag this out.

“Bye. I’ll talk to you tomorrow and see you at school on Monday.”

“Okay.” He nodded and I took that as my queue to exit the vehicle. He waited for me to unlock the door and enter the house before leaving. I waved to him from my doorway as he backed out of my driveway and made his way home. That was perfect.

Justin called me the next day around one and we spent two hours on the phone together, just talking about random stuff. I learned of his very odd dislike of watermelon and he listened intently as I explained various art mediums. By the time Monday morning rolled around, I had a whole different idea of who Justin was. He was no longer the somewhat cocky jock. He was the sensitive boy I had only heard existed from friends of friends.

Monday morning, I decided to actually get up early and make myself look at least a little nice. I pulled out my favourite outfit, did stuff to my hair, and put on a touch of makeup. I stopped to get a coffee on my way and asked the barista what Justin’s order usually was. She was working Saturday night and saw us together, so she gave it to me readily. When I got to school, I sought Justin out and surprised him with his coffee. “Katie told me your order.” I explained at his questioning look.

“Thank you, it’s perfect.” He said, pulling me into his side and kissing the side of my head. I smiled, taking a sip of my own coffee and leaning into him.

“You guys are already cute. It’s sickening.” Clay said, giving Justin a light push. Once again, I felt someone’s eyes on the back of my head and had to resist the urge to turn to look at him. We broke up. Quit staring at me. If Clay noticed, he didn’t mention who was staring at me. Justin and I talked a bit before I had to literally run to Physics. I turned around to wave to him and I caught sight of Monty standing at his locker, looking as cranky and pissed off as ever.

Between classes, I was minding my own business, going over some biology notes, when I felt a hand grab me and pull me into an empty classroom. “Jesus. Could give a girl some warning before you grab her.” I spoke into the darkness. The sound of the door locking set my body on edge.

“I had to talk to you.” Monty said.

“Really? You had to talk to me? And you thought grabbing me and pulling me into an empty classroom was the best way to go about that?”

“Would you have given me the time of day otherwise (Y/N)?”

I was silent for a moment. “Fair point. Now what do you want? I have class.”

“I want to know why you agreed to go out with Justin.”

“Maybe because it’s a free country Montgomery?”

“That’s the worst explanation you have ever given, and you know it.”

“I don’t owe you an explanation. We aren’t together anymore. I am free to date whoever I want. You are too, if you ever decide to do that.”

“You broke up with me because you said I was reckless. And now you’re dating Justin fucking Foley.”

“I think he goes by Jensen now.”

“Who gives a damn? My point is, you left me because I’m reckless, and now you’re dating someone who is equally if not more reckless than me.”

“I fail to see how a recovering addict is more reckless than you.”

“You fail to… wow. I’m shocked we didn’t break up sooner.” Okay that stung.

“Thanks Monty. That was real nice of you.”

“Shit. Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“So how did you mean it?”

“Not how it sounded. But (Y/N), tell me you realize that Justin is just using you to fill the time until Jessica gets bored of Alex again. Because we all know she will. Or until he decides to run away again.”

“Huh. I didn’t think you could make yourself seem like more of a dick than you already had. Yet, here we are. I have to go. I’m running late.”

He was silent as I pushed past him and left the room. More reckless? More reckless than beating kids up for no reason? More reckless than any of the other shit he has pulled in the last four years? How pissed in his Corn Pops this morning? I was angry but I couldn’t help but replay his last statement over and over in my head, you realize that Justin is just using you to fill the time until Jessica gets bored of Alex again. Because we all know she will. Or until he decides to run away again. I was so distracted in biology; I missed an entire section of notes.

By the time lunch had rolled around, I had convinced myself that Montgomery was just pissed off and trying to fuck with my head, since he wouldn’t and couldn’t actually hurt me in any other way. I sat with Justin and his friends at lunch. I watched as he laughed along with them and smiled to myself. His friends included me as much as they could, but I could tell it was a little strange for them, seeing him with someone other than Jess. It’s not like I wasn’t friends with them, but with dating Monty and being so close to him, it was hard for us to hang out. Not that he kept me from them or anything, there was just a distance. It was nice to have them again. I decided to pull out my sketchbook and doodle while my friends talked amongst themselves. It wasn’t long before I had given up on doodling and had begun to draw Justin. It was a side profile and it was quick, so it wasn’t the greatest thing I had ever drawn, but it was okay. I would do better later when I had more time.

**

A few weeks after our first date, Justin invited me home to meet his folks. I had met them before because I was friends with Clay and sort of friends with Justin, but this was different. I was meeting them as Justin’s girlfriend now. For some reason I was more nervous to meet them than I was to meet Monty’s parents. Probably because you knew his dad wouldn’t like you and his mom was never really a concern for you. I pulled up in front of the Jensen house and looked up at the front window. The curtains fell back into place, so I knew at least one of the family members was waiting for my arrival.

I knocked on the door and it was opened almost immediately. Justin was waiting on the other side and he pulled me in the door excitedly. “You’re early.” He commented as he pulled me into a hug.

“I noticed. Have you been waiting by the door all morning?” I asked.

“No, he made me sit and wait when he had to go to the bathroom or wanted snacks.” Clay called from the couch.

“Lies.” Justin called back.

“Not lies. Hi (Y/N).” Mr. Jensen said as he came into the living room.

“Hey Mr. Jensen. How are you and Mrs. Jensen?”

“We are good. How many times do we have to tell you, its Matt and Lainie?”

“I know, I know. Old habits die hard, is all.”

“You still like tacos?”

“Uh… yes. They are great.”

“Good, its taco night.”

“That’s great dad, we are going to my room now.” Justin exclaimed, taking my hand and leading me to the back door.

“Um, okay.” I said.

“It’s my room too.” Clay called after us.

“Welcome to my room.” Justin said as he opened the door with a dramatic flair of his arm.

“Justin, I’ve been in your room before.” I laughed as I shook my head.

“I know, but this is different. Oh, I told clay you wouldn’t sit on his bed, so you can sit on mine.”

“Okay.” I nodded and sat down. As I looked around, I noticed there was more stuff on the walls, “what do boys call the stuff on the walls?”

“Clay calls it putting shit up, I call it homing.”

“Like the pigeons?”

“Yes.”

“Interesting.” There was a bit of a lull in the conversation. We had never been alone like this before.

“Did you bring your sketchbook?”

I gave him a look.

“Sorry, dumb question. Of course, you brought it.”

“I did yes. Why?”

“Can I look at it?”

“Not yet. The deal was I get to draw you and you get to look at it.”

Justin looked at his watch, “dinner won’t be for a while yet.”

“You want me to draw you now?” I asked, my brow raising.

“I mean, yeah. Why not?” he shrugged. “Where do you want me?”

I looked around the room again, deciding on an ideal spot, “well, your bed has really good natural light. I’ll grab a bar stool and sit there.”

Justin nodded and walked over, as I went to get up, he placed his hand around my arm. I looked at him questioningly before he placed a sweet kiss on my lips. I blushed as he pulled away. I will never get used to that. We changed spots quickly and I pulled a stool over. After a few directions and some time spent positioning him properly, I set to work. A bit after I started, he began speaking, “I feel like I don’t know much about you (Y/N/N).”

“What do you mean?” I asked, somewhat distracted.

“You know all these things about me, but I don’t know much about you personally. I know we were kind of friends, but you don’t really talk about yourself.”

“There’s not much to know. It’s just me and my mom. She’s a nurse and worked a lot growing up. I learned how to be pretty self-sufficient.”

“What about your dad?” He asked, moving slightly to get more comfortable.

“Never knew him. He walked out shortly after I was born. They weren’t married, so there wasn’t much to divide up when he left. Mom said when they went to court, he agreed to pay child support but didn’t want to have to be involved. Judge wasn’t thrilled when they submitted the paperwork, but my mom and her lawyer agreed to it.”

“That sucks.”

“I guess, but I never knew any different. What about you?”

“Never knew mine either. No real story. Amber is an addict, so I don’t know much.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Anything else I should know?”

“I had a goldfish when I was a kid. His name was Napoleon.”

“Napoleon the fish?”

“Yes. I wasn’t allowed to have a dog or anything because my mom worked so much. And so, I gave my fish a weird name.” He made an impressed sound and face.

I had gotten about half the drawing done before clay knocked on the door and opened it with his eyes covered, “Dad says dinner is ready.”

“You can open your eyes, you squeamish child.” Justin chided.

“Nope. No I’m good.”

“We will be right in.” Clay nodded in response before backing out and closing the door firmly again. I closed the book and hopped out of my seat, placing my book on the counter.

“Can I see it?” Justin asked, beckoning me over.

“Not yet. It’s not done yet.” I told him. I walked over slowly, “dinner?”

“In a minute,” he started as he took my hand and pulled me down towards him, “have something to do first.” I smiled brightly at him as he pulled me down into a kiss, straddling his lap. A moment later, I pulled away and sat back.

“As much as I would like to continue this, your dad said you were having tacos.”

He sighed, nodding, “I know. We can continue this later.”

I stood up and smirked at him. Yes we can. I walked to the door and he smacked my ass playfully. I gave him an exaggerated shocked look and he grabbed my hand as we walked through the yard to the main house.

Dinner was fun and less awkward than I expected. I had gone over many times to hang out with Clay but going over as their son’s girlfriend was different. Matt and Lainie couldn’t ask me too much because they knew a lot about me. Tacos are always a fun food for company, and Justin made fun of my topping choice playfully. Clay overfilled his and it fell apart in his hands, drawing laughs from the table. It was nowhere near as bad as I expected. I couldn’t help but compare it to the awkward dinners I would have when Monty came over for at first and my mom wasn’t sure where she stood on the idea of him. I had always refused dinner with his family, so I didn’t need to hold my tongue around his dad for too long, which he never objected to.

Once dinner was over and it was time to go, I ran back to the boy’s room and grabbed my sketchbook. It’s not that I don’t trust Justin not to look… but I don’t trust Justin not to look.Justin and I said our goodbyes much quicker than we did that first night and I texted him when I got home to let him know I was safe. The following day at school, I was surprised to find Justin waiting at my locker with a muffin.

“Stopped by work on the way this morning and picked this up for you.” I smiled and kissed his cheek as I took it, biting into the fresh baked good. A very NSFW moan left my throat before I could stop it. I looked at Justin with wide eyes and a bright red face. He looked like he was trying to talk himself out of either laughing or dragging me to my car and driving to my place, education be damned. I looked down, embarrassed, waiting for the cheeky comment. When none came, I looked up at him through my lashes. I kind of miss the stupid innuendos. He was smiling wide and though he wasn’t looking directly at me, but you wouldn’t be able to tell unless you were as close to him as I was. I heard her laugh before I saw her. Jessica was walking towards us, laughing at a joke or something Alex had said. Montgomery’s words played in my head again you realize that Justin is just using you to fill the time until Jessica gets bored of Alex again, causing me to shake my head slightly to clear it. Get out of my head. You’re just jumping to conclusions (Y/N). Nothing is going on with them. Ignoring the possibilities in my head, I let Justin walk me to class. By the end of the day, any thoughts of Justin and Jessica were out of my head.  

**

Justin and I had grown closer over the past couple of months than I thought I would ever get to another person ever again. We talked about everything. Our hopes and dreams. We shared our biggest fears and most pointless phobias. He told me about what it was like when he left and how Clay had saved him. I knew he was leaving some stuff out, but I was too. Neither of us were going to pry. I told him about the time I had gotten curious and looked into finding my dad. I explained how any lead I could come up with came up dry and whenever I felt like I was getting close, something would happen to make it slip through my fingers. We talked about our favourite things and the things we couldn’t stand. It was everything a relationship should be. Then why do I feel like there is something missing? I continued to avoid Montgomery as much as I could, lest he try and give me more crap about my relationship.

On one of the rare nights it rained in our area of California, Justin opened up to me about his addiction. We were in my room and I was working on another portrait of him. He explained to me how he had started it as a way to escape the reality that he had left everything he had ever known and how it had quickly snowballed from there. He told me about detoxing at Clay’s and how the Jensen’s went out of their way to make him feel welcome in their home. He told me about relapsing and how even though they weren’t as close as they had once been, Bryce Walker had been the one to help when he got into a bind with Seth. I asked him about what happened, but he wouldn’t elaborate. He continued on and said that Bryce tried to help by giving him his old pills instead of the H he was using. I asked him about rehab and was not surprised when he said it was one of the hardest things he had ever done. “It’s still a struggle, but I have people around me who I know I can lean on and go to. So that helps on the bad days.” I nodded at him, as I finished the drawing and turned it to show him. “Woah. That’s amazing. Probably the best one yet.” I smiled at him and carefully removed it from the book, giving it to him.

“Keep it.”

A week or so later, everything changed. I walked to class the long way since the rain the past few days had stopped this morning during class. As I walked past the locker room, I heard voices that sounded suspiciously like Justin and Jessica. They seemed to be getting closer to the door and I quickly hid in an alcove. “I don’t know how much longer I can do this to Alex, Justin.” Jess said, as he opened the door for her.

“I know. (Y/N) is a really sweet girl. I just can’t get you out of my head.”

“She really is. I’ll see you after your shift tonight?”

“Yeah, Clay is going out with the new girl.”

“Great. I can’t wait.” Justin looked around to make sure no one was watching, no one he could see anyway, before he grabbed her by the waist and kissed her. I gasped quietly and quickly covered my mouth. They didn’t seem to notice. As they walked away, I noticed how disheveled his shirt looked. That jerk. Oh… Monty was right. I’m such an idiot. When I was sure they were gone, I snuck out of my hiding spot and ran to class. I’ll deal with this at lunch.

Lunch came sooner than I wanted, since I had again, gotten distracted in biology. Justin was waiting for me at the entrance to the cafeteria. I ignored him as I walked up to Monty and his friends. He was mid-bite into a sandwich. “Incoming Monty.” Bryce warned. He ignored him. I tapped him on the shoulder lightly, and he finished his bite before turning to me.

“Hey, (Y/N).” he greeted, slightly confused as we hadn’t spoken since he had dragged me into a classroom a couple of months ago.

“You were right.” I spoke quietly, so only he could hear me. His brow furrowed until he looked up and saw Justin walking towards me. His face went from confused to understanding.

“(Y/N)? What’s going on?” Justin asked, behind me.

“I don’t know Justin, why don’t you ask Jessica?” I asked, turning to him.

“Shit. She’s mad.” Scott said. I hummed in response. Justin looked like a deer in the headlights. Before anyone could stop me, I slapped Justin across the face, drawing ‘oooo’s and ‘ahhh’s from the surrounding tables. Calmly, I picked up my bag and walked away. I didn’t walk to a table where my friends sat. I didn’t share a look with Jess or Alex. Alex is smart. He will figure it out. Instead, I walked straight out to my car and drove home.

I spent the afternoon and evening in my room, alternating between crying and trying in vain to get the image of Justin kissing Jessica out of my head. My mom was working a forty-eight-hour shift at the hospital, so I had the house to myself. I had finally started to fall asleep when I heard a familiar sound. It sounded like pebbles hitting my window. Monty. I got up and opened the window.

“Monty? It’s like… one in the morning. What are you doing here?” I whisper called down to him.

“I thought you could use some company. I brought your favourite ice cream. You get any better at catching things in the last four months?”

“I was never that bad.” I called down to him as he threw the container up to me.

“Okay sweetheart. We will go with that.” He joked as he climbed up the lattice work along the side of my house. After he was up and, in my bedroom, I decided to let him know I was home alone.

“You could have used the front door. My mom is at work.”

“Now you tell me.” he rolled his eyes playfully as he stood up and enveloped me in a hug. This feels nice. I directed him to sit in my bed as I ran to get a couple of spoons from the kitchen. We had shared enough ice cream and… other kinds of DNA to not need to worry about bowls anymore. By the time I got back, he had made himself comfortable on his side of the bed, leaving my spot open for me. We ate in silence for a while before he spoke again. “I’m sorry I was right.”

“I guess I owe you an apology.”

“No, you don’t. At the time I was just saying it to be an ass. You don’t owe me anything.”

“I do. You were right. He is reckless and it wasn’t fair to break up with you because of your recklessness, and then start dating him. I hurt you and I’m sorry Monty.”

“It’s okay, (Y/N). But there is one thing you can do if you want to make it up to me.”

“What?”

“Switch pillows with me. This one is all lumpy.”

I laughed at him as I switched pillows before cuddling up close to him. “Hey Montgomery?”

“Yes (Y/N)?”

“How would you feel about breakfast in the morning. Like out somewhere.”

“You mean like a date?”

“Exactly like a date.”

“I think that would be some of the best breakfast I’d have in a long time.” We were quiet for a while before he spoke again, “(Y/N/N)?”

“Hmmm?”

“Do you want me to talk to Justin?”

“Do you mean talk to him or talk to him?”

“Just talk.”

“No, you don’t have to. I think he got the picture this afternoon. Thank you though.”

Monty and I spent the rest of the night talking and had a delicious breakfast at Rosie’s. He drove me home and came in to say hello to my mom. It wasn’t the perfect morning or the perfect new beginning, but nothing about our relationship ever was.

#13 reasons why #monty x oc #clay jensen #justin foley #13rw #creative writing #monty de la cruz #montgomery de la cruz #monty x reader #monty de la cruz fanfic #justin foley x reader #breakup #angst #fluff #montgomery de la cruz x reader #monty imagine #montgomery de la cruz imagine

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #208

"if you want to soar with vultures, you'll have to swallow crow."

What may we call you? Brittany/Britt or Ozz/Ozzy. When can we send you a birthday card? (Figuratively, of course.): February 5th. And, where are you calling from? (Again, figuratively.): Please free me of the sweltering grip of North Carolina. What is your favorite Hostess/Little Debbie snack? BIIIIIIHHHHH that's too hard. I love that shit. I love the honeybuns, Twinkies, those little chocolate cupcakes... and really just most things lkdjalksdjwoe. Do you/your family buy loaf from the bakery or bagged on the shelf? Bagged. White, wheat or other? Mom usually buys whitewheat, but sometimes just wheat because she knows I prefer it. Have you ever fixed something without knowing just how you did it? I'm sure I have at some point. When was the last time you were on a plane? Last December. Where were you going and why? To Sara's for her birthday. What’s the best news you’ve gotten lately? Mom found a serious deal for a brand new Canon camera with more focal length range than my previous one and she bought it right in time for the wedding I shot yesterday. :') ^And, the worst? My niece may already be developing schizophrenia. If you could invent something, what would it be? Uhhhh... just one is hard. I literally just thought about this for like 5+ minutes and can't think of one singular invention that would actually be important. Well, maybe some sort of totally natural, long-lasting preservative for food? That'd help so many people and would greatly decrease the amount of fruits and such we waste, and it would also save money with probably slightly decreasing the frequency of grocery shopping. Tell me about your favorite pair of pants. I literally just have black yoga/dance pants lmao. Do you like getting dressed up? NO. Is your technology up to date? Depends on how "up-to-date" you mean. My stuff definitely isn't totally current. Ever been stuck next to someone really annoying on a LONG plane/train ride? Nah. Would you be embarrassed to find out you snored loudly in public? Yeah. Are you afraid of heights? Yes, to a degree. What is a compliment you get most often? "I like your hair"/stuff like that. Tell me about the last frightening/weird dream you had. This is hard, I like, never remember my dreams. Now, about the last pleasant dream you had. AHA I actually do remember this one: I got the rare-as-all-fuck and beautiful as all hell heavenly onyx cloud serpent in WoW, which I've tried getting every week for years. @_@ My eyes like popped open and I nearly gasped. Do you feel guilty about killing bugs? Sometimes. If there is a spider in your room, will you be up all night knowing that? YUP. How do you feel about coconut? I hate it. ^ Ever cracked one open? No. If you like someone, what do you do? Generally get shy and smile a lot when interacting with them. If you DON’T like someone, what do you do? Try to avoid being around them, keep talking to them to a minimum. What do you feel most insecure about? What DON'T I feel insecure about? Do you do your part to save the earth? I do what I can as not an independent adult (ex., I don't have my own car, so we don't drive to the dump). I turn the water off when brushing my teeth, I don't linger in the shower, I absolutely will not litter, things like that. Does it ROYALLY piss you off when your intended username is already taken? Yeesh, it doesn't even make me mad, it's just annoying. Describe your sunglasses. I don't have any. What’s the most you’ve spent on a pair of sunglasses? N/A ^Or, ladies, what about a purse? No clue, but definitely not a lot. Actually, what’s the most expensive clothing item/accessory you own? Again, I don't know. What is your favorite spoken language to listen to? Latin. Is there a TV switched on in the room you’re in? There is no TV. If so, what’s on? N/A What room of the house are you in anyway? My bedroom. Do you own anything that is special edition? I think some games, maybe? Maybe other things? Do you have any funky bookmarks? I have one of those moving 3D ones of meerkats. Do you know anyone with a British accent? Not personally. Are you reading any books at the moment? No. If so, tell me the plot briefly. N/A. When did you last get delivery pizza? A few weeks back. Drake Bell or Josh Peck? Back when the show was current, I preferred Drake. I know nothing about him now; Josh is cool, though. When was the last time you had a tick on you? EW idk I don't even wanna think about it. Do you watch Adult Swim? No, I hate it. It's crawling with immature humor. Have you been to the Grand Canyon? No. What is your favorite type of donut? Glazed or plain. Who usually makes dinner in your household? Mom. Name ALL the colors you’re wearing. Oh jeez, I have on a really colorful Day of the Dead-style skull tank top. Literally like every possible color. Are there more females or males in your family? Females. Have you submitted anything to Urban Dictionary? No. Did you have a Gameboy? If so, do you still have it? Yes to both. Is there a playground anywhere near your house? Define "near." Not very. Does anyone in your family snore loudly? Mom. What’s your favorite cereal? Probably Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Or Crunch Berries, the all berries kind. Do you read reddit? If so, how often and what subreddits do you like? No. Do you know anyone who’s had a baby recently? An old best friend from high school. When was the last time you ate marshmallows? Not since Sara was here and we had s'mores last summer. Do you listen to any podcasts? How do you listen to them? No. What brand of toilet paper do you usually buy? I don't pay attention to whatever Mom gets. Why did you leave your last job? The stress was giving me panic attacks. Have you ever eaten at a restaurant and left without paying? No. What was the last thing that made you laugh out loud? Probably Mark or GameGrumps. How old were you when you first became sexually active? 16. What’s your opinion on The Simpsons? I don't have one. Do you know anyone who has been through a divorce? Plenty of people. Do you have to pay for parking in most places in the town/city you live in? No. Can you hear lots of traffic from your house? Does it bother you? A moderate amount. We live on a busy road. Would someone being either a cat or dog person effect you dating them? No. What is the smallest thing you lose your temper over instantly? Hm, idk. Talk to me like I'm an idiot will definitely get me, actually. What’s a job that doesn’t get enough respect? Mfckn teachers. They are WAY WAY WAY underpaid. What did you take for granted until you visited another country? Never left the country. What is the worst first date you’ve been on? Tyler had a flat tire, and we had to walk to the gas station for something I don't remember and back to the sketchy tire place, and it was SO cold and windy. It didn't actually bother me, like he felt godawful and it wasn't like it was in his power, but from a date standpoint, yeah, that was an event. Who is your favorite scientist and why? I'm not educated enough on various scientists for this. Do you prefer emoticons or emoji? Emoticons. What’s the hardest task you’ve ever had to do? Open my mind in partial hospitalization to let Jason go and recover. How did you meet your pet? Teddy was from a friend of a family friend who knew we were looking for a dog. He was a present for me, so I didn't actually pick him, but rather Ashley chose the last remaining puppy with brown on him, and boy did she make the best decision. Roman was one of the shitload of kittens Ash's mother-in-law had; I was immediately drawn to him with his beautiful blue eyes. <3 Venus was from an online hub of ball python breeders, and I just absolutely fell in love with her colors. Kaiju and Mitsu were both from Craigslist. Do you look like any of your grand- or great-grandparents? I don't have a clue. Did/Do you have any PEZ dispensers? Oh yeah. Do you like grapes or raisins better? I only like grapes. What is the most extreme weather your area has ever experienced? I looked it up; the coldest in history is -9*, highest is 105*. Is there anything you plan on watching on TV today? No. Are there any broken appliances in your house? Maybe. Mom may still have my old Sager in hopes of fixing it one day or something, but I feel like we finally got rid of it. What color is the lampshade in the room you’re in? I don't have a lamp in here. At school, what is/was your worst area in math? I don't remember. Have Jehovah's Witnesses ever called to your door? Yes. Do you ever throw money in those ‘wishing’ wells? No. Waste of coins. Ever take money out of them? No. Are you well known by people in your area? No. What is the picture on the desktop on the computer you’re using? A meerkat. Have you ever had your future told? No. Do you 'spit on it’, to seal a deal? No no no ew. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? No, thank god. If so, have you had any scary hallucinations? N/A Do you believe in ghosts? Totally. Would you ever stay overnight in a haunted house? Sure thing. When was the last time you had an injection? What for? Months ago when I was getting a cavity filled at the dentist. For some reason, I would NOT go totally numb until they gave me like 5+ doses. Is there anything you cannot wait to be over? This eternally-looping groundhog's day bullshit. I want a job, to be in school, friends, just a damn purpose. Do you have any enemies? "Enemies," no. People I don't like that also don't like me, yes. What was the last thing you had done at the dentist? Speak of the dentist, lol. Said cavity filling. Do you scrunch your face up when eating sour things? No, I'm not very affected by sour things. As a child, did you ever get the chance to go to Disney World/Disneyland? World, yes. <3 Are you someone who is really committed to politics in your area/country? No. When was the last time you were on a boat? Where did you travel on it? Two summers ago when I was fishing with Colleen, her husband, and dad. Does your family ever have any kind of weird traditions in your house? No. What would you consider your favorite movie from a different decade? The Lion King. Do you ever take bubble baths only to relax yourself in some way? I never take any kind of bath. When was the last time you were sick? What were you sick with and why? I don't remember. Have you ever wanted your significant other to get rid of a friend? Yes, though I had serious reason, but I wasn't in any way demanding about it/nothing was actually affected by them remaining friends. If you have siblings, have they moved out or do they still live with you? They've both moved out. Do you know anyone who has or has had any kind of mental illness/disorder? I'd love to meet someone who can possibly say "no" to this. Do you ever go to Blockbuster? How frequently would you say you go? *stares off into the distance wistfully* Is your mother a stay-at-home mother or does she work somewhere? She never stops working. What food would you just want to disappear off the face of the earth? Nothing? I'm not going to take away the diet of people depending on some source I just happen to hate. Do movies with super heroes intrigue you in any way? Why is this? Yeah, I just like fantasy stuff, and I enjoy the majority of the plots. I also just enjoy the idea of superheroes existing. Do you watch those late-night talk shows? What’s the best part about them? No. Do you ever listen to music so you can actually change your emotion? I try to sometimes. Do you like shopping alone? I've never really shopped alone. Does your best girlfriend have any talents that you don’t? Yeah, like she can animate pretty well! Have you ever written a song? I wrote a fucking song to the Nintendogs theme as a kid lmfao. Does anybody send you money in the mail for your birthday? My grampa always did, but he's sadly passed away, so now, no. Do you own any shirts that have a year on it? Ha ha, I have a Back to the Future shirt stored somewhere with the date on it, and it says "I was there." What do you think about mullets? I absolutely hate them. Would you rather date an actor or an athlete? I find actors more talented. I'd be afraid of an athlete s/o getting hurt, too. Do you have any scratches on your cell phone? No. Somehow. When was the last time you blushed? I don't remember, it's definitely been a while. Who is one person you met and automatically didn’t like? A doctor for my tremors. She was a BITCH with just such an unlikable, dull personality. Never went back to her. Do you have any video game systems in your room? Which one(s)? I have a Nintendo DS Lite somewhere... and then my laptop is actually a gaming laptop. What movie coming out do you really want to see? The. Live action. TLK. First day? I'm fuckin' THERE son. Is your skin tone lighter or darker than your mom’s? We're about the same. What is the best thing about the beach? All I care about is if the water's warm. Have you ever done another person’s make-up? I gave Jason a makeover once lmao. Have you ever spied on your neighbor? No. Do you think they’ve ever spied on you? No. What color eyes does the last person you kissed have? Brown. Honestly, do you double dip? No, I break chips apart. I will if I'm eating by myself, though. What color is your birthstone? Purple. What is one thing you don’t like sharing? Hmmm. Oh, probably candy, lmao. Where on your body would you NEVER get a piercing? Downstairs. Which Adam Sandler movie do you like the most? He's been in so many, I don't have a clue. I like him, though. Who was one of your first celebrity crushes? Jesse McCartney was my husband. Did your parents ever read stories to you before bed? Mom did. What are you listening to? "Queen For Queen" by Motionless In White. Do you like hickeys? If they're not in an obvious spot. Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for? No. When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? I don't have a best friend besides Sara, and I talk to her everyday. Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them? Sara. Do you believe what goes around comes around? Not always. Do you have any summer plans yet? No. I'd like to go up and visit Sara, but I have no clue if that'll happen, especially with me trying so hard to get a job. Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? One. Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? Yes. Have you ever regretted kissing someone? Yes. Do you think age matters in relationships? To an extent when a minor is involved. Even huge gaps in adult relationships creep me out, but there's nothing morally wrong with it. How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended? Two. Do you believe exes can be friends? It depends on the intensity of the relationship, I think. Plus what went wrong. Did you ever lose a best friend? Yeah. Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry? Lol poor thing's seen me sob. Are most of your friend guys or girls? Girls. When was the last time you took a long drive? A few days ago to my psychiatrist. About an hour drive. Have you ever played Spin the Bottle? No. Have you ever TP'd someone’s house? Well, considering I've never been that damn immature, no. Who do you text the most? Sara. What was the last movie you saw? Detective Pikachu. It was cute, although I was expecting it to be more targeted towards an older audience with Ryan Reynolds playing Pikachu. (I knew nothing about it going into it.) Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships? I'm monogamous. What do you most like about making out? The touching/caressing. Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with? No. Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already? No. Do you miss your last sweetie? Not romantically. It'd be nice to hang out again, though. Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication? No. If you could kiss anyone who would it be? Y'all been known. What’s your favorite flavor of soda, pop or whatever else you call it? Blue raspberry. Have you ever attended a religious or private school? Yes; I went to Sunday school. How many cars does your household own? One. What time do you usually have dinner? 4:00 for fasting reasons. What’s your favorite meat? Probably chicken. Do you need glasses to read or drive or need them all the time? I always need them. Are you a very forgetful person? I'm so forgetful that I literally sometimes have borderline anxiety attacks that I'm developing dementia or something at age 23 lmao. What is the best gift anyone has ever gotten for you? My dog. Do you look anything like you did 3 years ago? I guess somewhat, though I was way bigger and my hair was much longer. Have you done something dramatic to your looks in the past year? No. Make up or no make up? I think everyone inevitably looks better with make-up as it enhances features and dulls imperfections, but I personally couldn't care less if you wear it or not. I almost never do, so I can't talk. What’s your favorite thing to watch on the TV? IF I was to watch TV now, probably things like animal documentaries. Would you rather be anorexic or obese? Actually go fuck yourself. Do you upload videos to YouTube? Definitely not regularly. I don't know the next time I'll make one. Do you own any albums by Michael Jackson? No. Do you like your phone on silent or vibrate? Vibrate. Do you like Beavis and Butthead? I don't watch it, but it honestly seems pretty damn stupid. What do you believe happens after we die? Who even knows, really. I believe there's something after we die, but we'll have to wait to find out what. Does the concept of eternity scare you? It kinda... does, actually? Like, wouldn't it get boring eventually? Are you happy that you were born and raised where you were? I suppose. Are your parents still together? No. Do you know anyone who is pregnant right now? Yes, and I want to see their fckng son he's gonna be so cute. She's due soon and I pray I get to take pictures of him. Is there a band you like but don’t like the people in it? Blood On The Dance Floor and Otep. Well, Otep is respectable in some areas, but all things considered, she is a bitch. What tabs do you have open right now? Fucking five YouTube tabs, dA, and Tumblr. Who was the last person to write on your wall on Facebook? No clue, and I don't feel like looking. Have you ever seen a tornado in person? Thank Christ in Heaven no. Are you between the ages of 30 & 40? No. How much was a gallon of gasoline when you first started driving? I have no clue, when I got my permit. What was your first car? N/A Who taught you how to drive? My driver's ed teacher and my mom. What was your high school mascot? A firebird. Did you go to your senior prom? Yes. What did you do after graduation? Honestly? I don't even remember, almost at all, lmao. I either went to Jason's or went home/Jason came with me. Any posters on your bedroom walls growing up? When Nicole and I shared a room, she literally covered the fucking walls in Jonas Brothers shit while I was at a friend's house, and I was. Very. Very. Unhappy. Do you remember the first time you drank a beer? I've never had beer, don't want to. Did you ever try cigarettes? No. How did you spend your summers growing up? Swimming, hanging out with friends, playing outside, riding bikes, playing softball with Dad, playing video games... If you could change anything from your teenage years, would you? Hey, could I have been like, a happy teenager??? Do you remember your first time? No considering at that time I didn't realize it essentially was sex, so it wasn't something that stood out at the time. After high school - straight to college or straight to work? I went straight to college. Favorite home-cooked meal growing up? Spaghetti. Favorite place to eat out growing up? It was probably McDonald's. How many stuffed animals do you own? I literally have multiple huge bags in the attic of childhood stuffed animals I couldn't get rid of, lmao. Are you good at comebacks? WOW no. When’s the last time you watched the news? I don't have the slightest idea. Do you love Christmas time? Of course. Do you really think that the number 13 is unlucky? No. What’s your favorite flavor of cough drops? Omggg I love those strawberry ones. Do you have a fan in your room? Yes. I wouldn't survive without it. Do you think Cookie Monster is cute? I don't really feel either way. Do you like candy canes? Yes. Have you ever had a dream where you killed someone? Yes. Which is worse: stuffy nose or runny nose? Probably stuffy? I don't have a runny nose much, but I've got pleeeenty of experience with stuffy noses. Which is worse: Sick to your stomach or sore throat? THE FORMER. What’s your favorite smiley face? c: Do you think your last relationship was a disaster? No. How many concerts have you been to? One. :/ Would you ever join a band? If I was actually talented with the guitar, maybe, but as things are now, nope. Which internet browser do you use? Chrome. Do you know anyone who is a firefighter? No. What was the last wedding you went to? Just a few days ago for a lady who contacted me about shooting hers. It was a great one, and honestly wonderful to see an interracial wedding here in the South. You do nooot see that everyday. What’s your favorite alcoholic beverage? Margaritas. When was the last time you saw a photo of your ex? Probably the last time I was uploading pictures from my old phone; it's the one I take the once-a-year selfie because the Samsung camera is ACTUAL trash. Do you “binge-watch” TV shows? No. Well actually, on the occasions Sara and I have, I can only handle a handful at a time before I completely lose focus on it or, at that time anyway, interest. What is your opinion of clowns? I don't have one. Do you play any games on your phone? Only Pokemon GO if I'm somewhere I can actually play it. Do you plan ahead when it comes to your outfits? No. Have you ever shaved your face? We have this tiny automatic razor thing for your upper lip, and I use that like once a month or less because yay having dark body hair. What color is your front door? White. What was the last vaccination you got? Whatever those mandatory ones are when you become a teenager. Idr. Would you ever try herbal medicine as opposed to conventional medicine? No. If I need medicine for something, I'm using something I know works. Have you ever been to a petting zoo? I think as a kid? Do/did you have a curfew set by your parents? It wasn't heavily enforced, but Mom preferred I be home by 10 if I went somewhere. How many times have you consumed alcohol? *shrugs* When was the last time you wore a hat? What kind? I have noooo clue. When was the last time you sang an ENTIRE song? Good question. I rarely sing an entire song, rather just parts. Do you consider yourself to be attractive? I don't mind my face, but I do NOT like my body, so overall, no. Are you addicted to anything? Technology. What are you craving right now? I've had an insane craving for hot dogs on the grill for like a week now lmao. Mom's doing that and buying some drinks today for the two of us. I wanted my sisters to come for some family time, but my younger sister has homework, and then Ash and kids like... never come here. "Because of the dogs," according to her husband, but I don't believe that. Are you a forgiving person? I'm way too forgiving. Do you have a brother? Yes. Have you ever had a dream of stabbing someone? WHOA actually I think I semi-recently had a nightmare of me going ham stabbing someone for some reason I don't remember. What would you want your last words to be if you could choose them? "I love you" or then "see you on the other side" is cute to me and also indicates we'll be together again. So probably the latter. What band can’t you stand listening to? I reeeaaally dislike Mumford and Sons. His voice is awful. What is your favorite mystery/crime/FBI related show? Does Sherlock count as a mystery show? Would you ever have a bird as a pet? Nah. How’s your relationship between you and your grandparents? Not wonderful. I don't like her very much, and evidence says I'm not her favorite person, either. Do you have a photographic memory? No. Have you ever had to speak at a funeral? No. Do you know someone who’s been cremated? Hm, don't think so. Have you ever talked to someone when they were high? Yes. Your ex is on the side of the road, on fire. What do you do? Uh, call 911??? Dunk water on him if at all possible? I'm not just gonna drive past anyone who's on fucking fire. It’s 2 in the morning and you get a text message, who is it most likely? Sara. I only ever text her and Mom, and Mom would be right outside my door asleep, so. Ever cried while you were on the phone with someone? Is there anyone who hasn't? When was the last time you saw your father? Not since his birthday last month. Do you like any of Justin Bieber’s songs? No. Any time when you need to search something on the Internet, which search engine do you use? Google. Do you believe saving your virginity for marriage or no? I don't care. I believe in saving it for someone you truly, deeply love. When you were a kid, did you ever like Barney? Yes. Omfg I just remembered something with my older sister; when she was little, Barney was her "boyfriend." She was "talking on the phone" with him once, and when Mom interrupted her, she scoffed and said, "I'm talking to Barney." And then Ash and Barney had an ACTUAL "ceremony" for a divorce. That's a thing that happened. What’s the capital of state, country, or providence you live in? Raleigh. When you open your web browser, what is your home page set to? Why did you select this? Google. I think it was automatically set. Would you allow a camera crew to follow you around and make a reality series out of your life (no matter how boring it is) if you got paid well? Why? No. I'd get so fucking annoyed, I'd feel under constant scrutiny, and I don't want fame. If your car broke down would you call a friend or family member to pick you up or would you call AAA (or something like it)? I'd call my mom and listen to her on what to do from there. Do you put a lot of thought into the gifts you buy for people? YEAH. It's rare I actually have my own money to buy gifts for anyone, so when I can, I think hard. On an average day do your thoughts tend to be more positive or negative? Negative, I think. Do you ever trust anyone else to drive your car? If you don’t have a car, do your friends and family ever allow you to drive their vehicles? I don't have my own, but Mom lets me drive hers. Name at least one thing you like about each season. Winter: SNOW. Spring: Flowers!! Summer: swimming. Autumn: visuals. What amount of time do you think is perfect for a vacation? I guess a week?

#survey #quiz #questions #random #bored

[peacefulheartfarm]

Coyotes on the Homestead

Coyotes are a plague when you have sheep. Today’s podcast is going to be all about coyotes. Probably more than you ever wanted to know. Some things about coyotes might surprise you.

I want to take a minute and say welcome to all the new listeners and welcome back to the veteran homestead-loving regulars who stop by the FarmCast for every episode. I appreciate you all so much. I’m so excited to share with you what’s going on at the farm this week.

Our Virginia Homestead Life Updates

So why is the topic today about coyotes? Well, we have had issues and I need to talk about it. I’ll try to keep it mostly factual and as upbeat as possible. In the end though, sometimes homestead life has tragic consequences.  

Sheep and Lambs

Over a span of about 3 or 4 days we lost more than half of our sheep. All six of our lambs, including my bottle baby, Susie Q are gone. Five adult ewes are also gone. We have 10 sheep left out of 21. Yeah, it’s a big loss. I’m still heartbroken about losing Susie Q. I still look for her. When I look out the window, momentarily I’m looking for her. Especially in the evening, when I go to create bottles for the twin calves, I briefly look for the very small bottle we use for lambs. Then I remember. She’s gone.

I was unusually attached to Susie Q. We’ve had bottle lambs lots of time. But I’ve never been so attached. Well, perhaps it’s that we have never lost one. And after they are grown and no longer need me for daily feedings, I naturally let go of them. Like Lambert. He’s still out there with the boys and he was a bottle baby. I just don’t think I would miss him the way that I miss Susie Q. And we’ve had others that ended up at freezer camp. I don’t know what’s different except that she was still so young dependent on us.

Cows and Calves

We moved all of the animals out of the back fields where the attacks were occurring. Scott brought out a couple of guys that hunted the male leader and we also used poison. That’s a really harsh method, but sometimes it is necessary.

The twin calves were also quite vulnerable to coyote attack. Scott moved them to a sheltered area. Virginia is also with them. We had to pull her out of the general herd because she was nursing on Cloud. If you remember, Cloud is already feeding two calves. Adding Virginia was definitely more than Cloud could support. You can likely guess that the ones who would suffer would be Princess and Winston. Virginia is about a year old and would definitely wipe out all the available milk and the younger two would be left hungry. So, Virginia is safely away from the other cows and hanging out with the twins.

Keeping the various calves out of one or another milk supply has really been a challenge this year. I don’t know if I mentioned that we briefly had all the calves and cows together. It’s much easier to maintain the pastures if there are only two groups of animals. The boys and the girls. However, having all the cow girls together immediately failed. Rosie came in for milking down a couple of quarts of milk. We suspected Princess as Rosie is her mom, after all. Now I’m wondering if it was actually Virginia and after she got a taste of milk she started looking around and found Cloud after Rosie was gone. Who knows? Rosie and Butter are in a field by themselves. The twin calves and Virginia are in the loafing space. And the rest of the crew which includes Violet, Claire, Buttercup, Cloud and her two calves, are out front. The boys, of course, are in yet another place. We have cows all over the place.  

Everyone is relatively safe at the moment. Let’s talk about coyotes. I didn’t want to know all of this and I’ve left out the most gruesome of details. But the gist of the story is here.

Coyotes

The coyote is a species of canine native to North America. It is smaller than its close relative, the wolf. It fills much of the same ecological niche as the golden jackal does in Europe and Asia. Though the coyote is larger and more predatory. Other historical names for this species include the prairie wolf and the brush wolf.

The coyote is listed as least concern by the International Union for Conservation of Nature, due to its wide distribution and abundance throughout North America. Coyote populations are also abundant southwards through Mexico and into Central America. Even now, it is enlarging its range by moving into urban areas in the eastern U.S. and Canada. The coyote was sighted in eastern Panama (across the Panama Canal from their home range) for the first time in 2013.

Coyote Subspecies

There are 19 recognized coyote subspecies. The average male weighs 18 to 44 lb and the average female 15 to 40 lb. Their fur color is predominantly light gray and red, sometimes interspersed with black and white. The colors vary somewhat with geography. Coyotes are highly flexible in their social organization. Sometimes living in a family unit and sometimes in loosely knit packs of unrelated individuals. Primarily carnivorous, its diet consists mainly of deer, rabbits, hares, rodents, birds, reptiles, amphibians, fish, and invertebrates, though it may also eat fruits and vegetables on occasion. Its characteristic vocalization is a howl made by solitary individuals. Humans are the coyote's greatest threat, followed by cougars and gray wolves. In spite of this, coyotes sometimes mate with gray, eastern, or red wolves, producing "coywolf" hybrids. Genetic studies show that most North American wolves contain some level of coyote DNA.

Coyote Folklore

The coyote is a prominent character in Native American folklore, usually depicted as a trickster that alternately assumes the form of an actual coyote or a man. After the European colonization of the Americas, it was seen in Anglo-American culture as a cowardly and untrustworthy animal. Unlike wolves, which have undergone an improvement of their public image, attitudes towards the coyote remain largely negative. I’m in the group with that attitude.

Hunting and Feeding

Two studies that experimentally investigated the role of olfactory, auditory, and visual cues found that visual cues are the most important ones for hunting in coyotes.

When hunting large prey, the coyote often works in pairs or small groups. Unlike the wolf, which attacks large prey from the rear, the coyote approaches from the front, lacerating its prey's head and throat. Although coyotes can live in large groups, small prey is typically caught singly. Coyotes have been observed to kill porcupines in pairs, using their paws to flip the rodents on their backs, then attacking the soft underbelly. Only old and experienced coyotes can successfully prey on porcupines, with many predation attempts by young coyotes resulting in them being injured by their prey's quills. Recent evidence demonstrates that at least some coyotes have become more nocturnal in hunting, presumably to avoid humans.

Coyotes may occasionally form mutualistic hunting relationships with American badgers, assisting each other in digging up rodent prey. The relationship between the two species may occasionally border on apparent "friendship", as some coyotes have been observed laying their heads on their badger companions or licking their faces without protest. The amicable interactions between coyotes and badgers were known to pre-Columbian civilizations, as shown on a Mexican jar dated to 1250–1300 depicting the relationship between the two.

Vocalizations

The coyote has been described as "the most vocal of all wild North American mammals". Its loudness and range of vocalizations was the cause for its binomial name Canis latrans, meaning "barking dog". At least 11 different vocalizations are known in adult coyotes. These sounds are divided into three categories: agonistic and alarm, greeting, and contact. The lone howl is the most iconic sound of the coyote and may serve the purpose of announcing the presence of a lone individual separated from its pack.

Habitat

Prior to the near extermination of wolves and cougars, the coyote was most numerous in grasslands inhabited by bison, pronghorn, elk, and other deer, doing particularly well in short-grass areas with prairie dogs, though it was just as much at home in semiarid areas with sagebrush and jackrabbits or in deserts inhabited by cactus, kangaroo rats, and rattlesnakes.

Coyotes walk around 3–10 miles per day, often along trails such as logging roads and paths; they may use iced-over rivers as travel routes in winter. They are often more active around evening and the beginning of the night than during the day. Like many canids, coyotes are competent swimmers, reported to be able to travel at least 0.5 miles across water.

Diet

The coyote is ecologically the North American equivalent of the Eurasian golden jackal. Likewise, the coyote is highly versatile in its choice of food, but is primarily carnivorous, with 90% of its diet consisting of meat. Prey species include bison (largely as carrion), white-tailed deer, mule deer, moose, elk, bighorn sheep, pronghorn, rabbits, hares, rodents, birds (especially young water birds and pigeons and doves), amphibians (except toads), lizards, snakes, turtles and tortoises, fish, crustaceans, and insects. More unusual prey include young black bear cubs and rattlesnakes. Coyotes kill rattlesnakes mostly for food but also to protect their pups at their dens. They will tease the snakes until they stretch out and then bite their heads and shake them. Birds taken by coyotes may range in size from thrashers, larks and sparrows to adult wild turkeys.

If working in packs or pairs, coyotes have access to larger prey than lone. In some cases, packs of coyotes have dispatched much larger prey such as adult deer, cow, elk, and sheep, although the young fawn, calves and lambs of these animals are most often taken. In some cases, coyotes can bring down prey weighing up to 220 to 440 lb or more. When it comes to adult animals such as deer, they often exploit them when vulnerable such as those that are infirm, stuck in snow or ice, otherwise winter-weakened or heavily pregnant. Less wary domestic animals are more easily exploited.

Although coyotes prefer fresh meat, they will scavenge when the opportunity presents itself. Excluding the insects, fruit, and grass eaten, the coyote requires an estimated 1.3 lb of food daily, 550 lb annually.

The coyote feeds on a variety of different produce, including blackberries, blueberries, peaches, pears, apples, prickly pears, persimmons, peanuts, watermelons, cantaloupes, and carrots. During the winter and early spring, the coyote eats large quantities of grass, such as green wheat blades.

Other interesting diet components

In coastal California, coyotes now consume a higher percentage of marine-based food than their ancestors, which is thought to be due to the extirpation of the grizzly bear from this region. In Death Valley, coyotes may consume great quantities of hawkmoth caterpillars or beetles in the spring flowering months.

Livestock and Pet Predation Statistics

As of 2007, coyotes were the most abundant livestock predators in western North America, causing the majority of sheep, goat, and cattle losses. For example, according to the National Agricultural Statistics Service, coyotes were responsible for 60.5% of the 224,000 sheep deaths attributed to predation in 2004. The total number of sheep deaths in 2004 comprised 2.22% of the total sheep and lamb population in the United States, which, according to the National Agricultural Statistics Service USDA report, totaled 4.66 million and 7.80 million heads respectively as of July 1, 2005. Because coyote populations are typically many times greater and more widely distributed than those of wolves, coyotes cause more overall predation losses. United States government agents routinely shoot, poison, trap, and kill about 90,000 coyotes each year to protect livestock. An Idaho census taken in 2005 showed that individual coyotes were 5% as likely to attack livestock as individual wolves. In Utah, more than 11,000 coyotes were killed for bounties totaling over $500,000 in the fiscal year ending June 30, 2017.

Livestock Guardian Dogs

Livestock guardian dogs are commonly used to aggressively repel predators and have worked well in both fenced pasture and range operations. A 1986 survey of sheep producers in the USA found that 82% reported the use of dogs represented an economic asset.

Protect Yourself and Your Pets

Coyotes are often attracted to dog food and animals that are small enough to appear as prey. Items such as garbage, pet food, and sometimes feeding stations for birds and squirrels attract coyotes into backyards. About three to five pets attacked by coyotes are brought into the Animal Urgent Care hospital of South Orange County (California) each week, the majority of which are dogs. Cats typically do not survive coyote attacks. Smaller breeds of dogs are more likely to suffer injury and/or death.

Coyotes are one of my least favorite parts of God’s creation. I’ve probably given you far too much information on these creatures. But as I said earlier, I needed to talk about this. Thanks for listening.

Final Thoughts

Living on the homestead is not always pretty. Survival is always relative to the environment. Many times, survival is a competition between humans and other species. All animals have a right to live. God made them and there you go. They have a right to live. And we also have the right to protect our other animals. Sometimes it is a small parasite – which is also deadly at times. And sometimes it’s larger animals such as coyotes and bears. Everyone is just trying to survive. I miss my Susie Q. And when I look at our decimated flock of sheep, I am filled with sadness. However, in the end, some of our flock has survived and we will rebuild. It’s what we do. Our flock will rise again. In the fall or next spring, we will have lambs again. The life cycle continues.

If you enjoyed this podcast, please hop over to Apple Podcasts or whatever podcasting service you use, SUBSCRIBE and give me a 5-star rating and review. If you like this content and want to help out the show, the absolute best way you can do that is to share it with any friends or family who might be interested in this type of content. Let them know about the Peaceful Heart Farmcast.

Thank you so much for stopping by the homestead and until next time, may God fill your life with grace and peace.

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Check out this episode!

[disappointingpastasalad]

fuckin answer all the questions, esp 104 but all of them waste your day

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? >>>Yikes Wazowski

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?>>>YIKES WAZOWSKI

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?>>>nah man, we goin through this shit together either way

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?>>>yea

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?>>>…….. high ?

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?>>>lmao yeah but ain’t that just the way

7. What does your last received text say?>>>it’s an image of Michael Scott

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?>>>thank god that was the only time 😭

9. Where was your last kiss at?>>>a friend’s basement

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?>>>mmmm last week ?

11. What do you drink in the morning?>>>usually water or milk lol

12. Where did you sleep last night?>>>in my bed 😩👌🏻

13. Do you think relationships are hard?>>>emotionally ? Yes. Physically ? Not at allllll

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?>>>yeahhhhhh

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?>>>YEP

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?>>>rainyyy

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?>>>……..unfortunately I have the most common middle name for white girls

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?>>>sweat pantssssss

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?>>>hope soooo

20. Does anyone like you?>>>yee

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?>>>not that I know of lol

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?>>>arguably, yes

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?>>>lmao YEAH a few actually

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?>>>MORE THAN YOU KNOW

25. In the past week have you cried?>>>SEE ABOVE

26. What breed was the last dog you saw? >>>a pitbull mix :)

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?>>>both, it’s a process

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?>>>lol yea

29. Do you think you’re old?>>>nah. im only 18

30. Do you like text messaging?>>>more than talking on the phone, yeah

31. What type of day are you having?>>>slow, boring

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?>>>ye, figured a lip ring would look better lol

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?>>>cold–it is my natural state of being

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?>>>several !!

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?>>>right now I think id rather a nice lil fling

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?>>>I am but a simple farm boy in most regards, though I am a complex city slicker at times

37. What song are you listening to?>>>im actually listening to a podcast about Jeffrey Dahmer rn yikes

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?>>>nearly 100% of the time

39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?>>>yea its @solarscam on here lmao

40. What made you start liking the person you like now?>>>idk he’s cute and funny and we vibe well

41. When did you last receive a text message?>>>like 3 minutes ago lol

42. What is wrong with you right now?>>>Too Much to name

43. How well do you know the last female you texted?>>>it was my mom so pretty well? I was inside of her so

44. Does anyone disgust you?>>>other than myself?? The person who made me feel like this abt myself

45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?>>>tbh yeah

46. Are you in a good mood right now?>>>im not in a bad mood lol

47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?>>>my sister, moments ago

48. What color shirt are you wearing?>>>red rn

49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?>>>yeah, quite a bit from multiple people retry recently.

50. Anyone you’re giving up on?>>>only a few ex friends 🤗

51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?>>>nah, I don’t think I’ve ever Truly Fallen

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?>>>mmHhmmmm

53. Do you like rain?>>>yes yes yes

54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?>>>I’d hope they would be cool with me drinking at least, otherwise I dong give a fuck

55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?>>>its my MO tbh

56. Do you like to cuddle?>>>YES YEs I love it yes

57. Are you shy?>>>lol only if im around ppl I want to impress

58. Do you get along with girls?>>>?? Yeah man

59. Have you dated the person you texted last?>>>nah but we did just start talking over tinder so 💁🏻‍♂️

60. What do you carry with you at all times?>>>color-changing silly putty and chapstick 😅

61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?>>>yeah man im a slut for paranormal activity and $$$

62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?>>>depends on the relationship tbh

63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?>>>nope

64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?>>>yes omg

65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?>>>nah. Mostly things that are remarkably un-cute

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?>>>shit like, 18, 20, and 22 I believe ??

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself? >>>pay, im not very good

68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print? >>>ew to both but I guess leopard ?? Idfk

69. Do you have any stickers on your car? >>>nah. Too dirty

70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? >>>depends on my mood lol

71. Blackberry, Android, or iPhone? >>>iPhone. Im an apple bitch 🙃

72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut? >>>probably like, a week or two ago

73. Do you like diet soda? >>>ew no I have standards

74. What color are the walls in your room? >>>blueish green

75. Are you 16 or older? >>>I sure hope so

76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?>>>tried to, more of a gossip girl guy myself tbh

77. Do you have a job? >>>yep! Grinding foam at a factory 😂

78. What are your initials? >>>they’re gonna be AQL soon lol

79. Did you ever have braces? >>>*war flashbacks* yeah

80. Are you from the south? >>>South West Michigan lmao

81. What does your last status on facebook say? >>>idfk probably me thanking ppl for coming to my grad party

82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed? >>>lmao yeah

83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? >>>my mom for sure

84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?>>>nooooo

85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? >>>Captain Underpants 😩👌🏻

86. Do you smoke? >>>only 🍁🔥

87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops? >>>Flippity floppity floo

88. Is your phone touch screen? >>>in this, the year of our lord 2017, who’s phone isn’t

89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly? >>>its naturally pretty straight but when it gets long it likes to flip up at the ends lol

90. Have you ever snuck out of your house? >>>yeah

91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool? >>>pool tbh, unless its like Lake Michigan lol

92. Have you ever made out in a car? >>>yes

93. …Had sex in a car? >>>lol not yet

94. Are you single or in a relationship? >>>painfully single

95. What were you doing last night at midnight? >>>trying to forget some stuff by doing reckless things

96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks? >>>lol last night

97. Do you like the camera on your phone? >>>yeah it’s not too shabby

98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? >>>I mean?? Kind of

99. Have you ever passed out from drinking? >>>no, but I’ve helped a few different people when they passed out

100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? >>>mHmm

101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? >>>lmao not yet

102. Name your favorite Kesha song: >>>BITCH probably We R Who We R

103. Do you have any tan lines right now? >>>yeah from my binder on my back lol

104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts? >>>I hate that I have done this before ??

#the dweeb speaks #the dweeb gets mail

[viralhottopics]

34 Poets Of Color Summarize 2017 In Verse

If 2017 was a poem, what would you call it?

This was the question Tabia Yapp the founder ofBEOTIS, a boutique agency that represents leading writers, speakers and multidisciplinary artists of color posed to a group of contemporary poets she admired.

The open-ended question provided respondents with ample space to play. Some poets answered the prompt in two words, while others filled up pages, all while attempting to describe a time categorized by so much fear, anger, hope, action and love.

Were only two months into 2017. At times, it feels like the year has already stretched beyond its 12-month boundaries. Yet at the same time, 2017 still doesnt feel quite real. Just as Black History Month comes to a close, the following poets are helping us make sense of this uncertain moment in history,using language as a guide.

Behold, 34 poets of color summarize 2017 in verse*:

1.Alok Vaid-Menon

Alok Vaid-Menon is a nonbinary artist with a lot of feelings.

2.Camonghne Felix

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Camonghne Felix, M.A., is a poet, political strategist, media junkie and cultural worker. She received an M.A. in arts politics from NYU, an MFA from Bard College, and has received fellowships from Cave Canem, Callaloo and Poets House. The 2012 Pushcart Prize nominee is the author of the chapbook Yolk, and was recently listed by Black Youth Project as a Black Girl From the Future You Should Know.

3.Yosimar Reyes

Yosimar Reyes is an undocumented American poet and activist, who was born in Guerrero, Mexico, and raised in East San Jose, California.

4. Ada Limn

Ada Limn is the author of four books of poetry including Bright Dead Things which was nominated for the National Book Award, the National Book Critics Circle Award, the Kingsley Tufts Poetry award, and named one of the top 10 books of the year by The New York Times.

5.Hieu Minh Nguyen

Hieu Minh Nguyen is the son of immigrants. He is the author of two collections of poetry, This Way to the Sugar (Write Bloody Publishing, 2014) and Not Here (Coffee House Press, forthcoming in 2018).

6. Fatimah Asghar

Fatimah Asghar is a Kundiman Fellow and a member of the Dark Noise Collective. She is the author of the chapbook AFTER (YesYes books, 2015) and the co-creator and writer of the highly anticipated web series Brown Girls.

7. Clint Smith

Clint Smith is the author of Counting Descent (2016) and a doctoral candidate at Harvard University who has received fellowships from Cave Canem, the Callaloo Creative Writing Workshop, and the National Science Foundation. A 2014 National Poetry Slam champion, his writing has been published in The New Yorker, The American Poetry Review, The Guardian, Boston Review, Harvard Educational Review and elsewhere.

8.Danez Smith

Danez Smith is the author of Dont Call Us Dead (Graywolf Press, 2017) and the award winning [insert] boy (YesYes Books, 2014). Danez is a 2017 NEA Fellow and member of the Dark Noise Collective.

9.Eboni Hogan

Eboni Hogan is a Brooklyn-based poet, playwright, actress and curriculum writer who has performed in over 65 U.S. cities, as well as internationally in Ghana, Germany and Austria. She is the 2012 Women of the World Poetry Slam Champion and habitually bougie.

10.Paul Tran

Paul Tran placed Top 10 at the National Poetry Slam and Individual World Poetry Slam in 2015. They live in Brooklyn, where they serve as Poetry Editor at The Offing and Poet In Residence at Urban Word NYC.

11.Oompa

Oompa is a hood, black, queer slam poet, rapper and Beyonc aficionado from Boston seeking to make space where the world says there is none for her. She just released her debut album November 3rd in 2016 after making final stage with House Slam at the National Poetry Slam in Decatur, Georgia.

12.Joshua Aiken

Joshua Aiken won the 2016 Martin Starkie Prize for his poem Disappearing Act(s) while studying at the University of Oxford on a Rhodes Scholarship, and is an alumni of Washington University in St. Louis where he was a proud member of WU-SLam, a spoken word poetry community.

13.Janani Balasubramanian

Janani Balasubramanian is a writer of speculative fiction whose art and editorial work has been featured in The New Yorker, Guernica, Creative Time Reports, The New Inquiry and more. Theyve presented work at 160-plus stages across North America and Europe, including the Public Theater, MOMA and the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Janani is currently working on Sleeper a dystopian trilogy about sleep, dreams and physics.

14. Hanif Willis-Abdurraqib

Hanif Willis-Abdurraqib is a poet, writer and cultural critic from Columbus, Ohio. He is a columnist at MTV News and a Callaloo Creative Writing Fellow. His first collection of poems, The Crown Aint Worth Much, was released by Button Poetry in 2016.

15.Safia Elhillo

Safia Elhillo is a Sudanese-American writer and educator living in Washington, DC. Her debut collection of poetry, The January Children, is available from University of Nebraska Press.

16.Denice Frohman

Denice Frohman is an award-winning poet, writer, performer and educator. She is a 2014 CantoMundo Fellow, 2013 Women of the World Poetry Slam Champion, 2013 Hispanic Choice Award winner, and performed at The White House in 2016.

17. Eve L. Ewing

Eve L. Ewing is a sociologist of race and urban education at the University of Chicago School of Social Service Administration, a poet and an essayist. Her debut colleciton of poems, Electric Arches, is forthcoming September 2017 via Haymarket Books.

18.Elizabeth Acevedo

Elizabeth Acevedo is a National Poetry Slam Champion with two collections of poetry, and The Poet X (HarperCollins, 2018) is her debut novel.

19.Jacqui Germain

Jacqui Germain is a poet and freelance writer based in St. Louis, with poems published in Muzzle Magazine and The Offing, and essays published in The New Inquiry and The Establishment. Shes the author of the chapbook, When the Ghosts Come Ashore, published through Button Poetry/Exploding Pinecone Press, and is still trying to figure out her own public and private resistance.

20.Jayson P. Smith

Jayson P. Smith is a Brooklyn-based writer, curator, performance artist and current Emerge-Surface-Be Fellow with The Poetry Project.

21.Ocean Vuong

Ocean Vuong is the author of Night Sky with Exit Wounds, a New York Times 2016 Top 10 Critics Pick and winner of the 2016 Whiting Award.

22.Nate Marshall

Nate Marshall is from the South Side of Chicago. He is the author of Wild Hundreds and an editor of The BreakBeat Poets: New American Poetry in the Age of Hip-Hop.

23.Cameron Awkward-Rich

Cameron Awkward-Rich is the author of Sympathetic Little Monster (Ricochet Editions, 2016) and the chapbook Transit (Button Poetry, 2015). A Cave Canem fellow and poetry editor for Muzzle Magazine, his poems have appeared/are forthcoming in Narrative, The Baffler, Indiana Review and elsewhere

24. Ariana Brown

Ariana Brown is an Afromexicana poet from San Antonio, Texas, with a B.A. in African diaspora studies and Mexican-American studies. She is the recipient of an Academy of American Poets Prize, a 2014 national collegiate poetry slam champion, and is currently working on her first manuscript.

25. Kwame Dawes

Kwame Dawes is the author of City of Bones: A Testament (TriQuarterly, 2017).Dawes notes that his title is for an era that spans 20082020.

26.Nabila Lovelace

Nabila Lovelace is a first-generation Queens native; her people hail from Trinidad and Nigeria. Sons of Achilles, her debut book of poems, is forthcoming from YesYes Books.

27.Aja Monet

The revolution will be livestreamed on facebook and instagrammed by your favorite thot, triggered on twitter, so uber cool not to uber, the only bloodshed will be freebleeding or my pussy is borderless, you mean to tell me they dont have starbucks on this march? i wish a mothafucka would, dear 1968, you aint aged one bit, nothin new under the sun, the more things change the more they stay the same, this revolving door, my president is a puppet, white house of horrors, when the pedophile priests bless america, or the crooked babalao, voodoo these divided states, birth of no nation, if you know whats good for you, kill capitalism, get free or die tryin, rosie the riveter ushers in new law and order, black magic will not be photoshopped, liberate these psychic streets.

Aja Monet is a Caribbean-American blues poet.

28.Porsha Olayiwola

: porsha o is joy in dystopia : ready to die, again : how to out breathe the ghost inhaling all around you : watch me dance on the grave of everything that tried to kill me : why is the blood so shiny so pretty splattered : the black dyke avoids being devoured, again : how attendance at therapy appointments and guided meditations heal humans : how i got whole : we do not run, here : here, i am the riot : watch me burn this place to ash

Porsha Olayiwola is the 2014 Individual World Poetry Slam Champion, the 2015 National Poetry Slam Champion, and the co-founder of House Slam. She identifies as a black, lesbian poet, a hip-hop feminist, an educator and a organizer.

29. Patricia Smith

Beowulf Sheehan

You, so blatantly golden, the helm of every keening ship, so our plummet and our mirrors, so the steel-eye and bellow, you, ass perpetually clenched, sinking in your suit jacket, so our blunder and kismet, the tips of your dwarfish fingers bled raw with currency, you, relentlessly training your teeth, spit-glued crown defying every wind, you are the back-bended sniffler lost in the shadowed end of the school yard, you, legless savior, nailed to the same cross you carry.

Patricia Smith is a poet, teacher, performance artist and author. Smith is a professor at the College of Staten Island and in the Sierra Nevada College MFA program, recipient of Guggenheim and NEA fellowships, a National Book Award finalist and the author of eight critically acknowledged volumes of poetry, including her most recent, Incendiary Art.

30.Julian Randall

By this I mean less sexually (though if thats your thing by all means get down with yourself) than there is nothing better suited to me to talk about survival than the idea of Morning. Ive thought nearly every day of this new year about a casually brilliant quote from Natalie Diaz What happens after the unimaginable? The morning after, and the one after that. 2016 was almost across the board a year in which we faced so many events that we could only describe as being the unimaginable; I cite that every single time somebody mentions Prince dying I feel it all over again as if for the first time because my brain starkly refuses to hold onto the fact that hes gone.

And yet, in the face of so many apocalypses (here I mean the tertiary definition of apocalypse, brought to my attention by the genius Junot Diaz, meaning revelation because I will not give this year or any other the dignity of being my presumed end) we are still here. Wounded, but here. Oppressed, but here. Grieving, but here. Fighting, and aint one of the criteria for fighting to be here, present, alive? And how truly awe worthy, fight worthy is that? Alive, after all this time. Thats as constant as dawn, whether the clouds ensnare the senses or not somewhere behind all that, the sun, daybreak. That to me is the Morning After it becomes morning in America.

As unimaginable tragedy and hurt settles into reality that we (here I am speaking specifically to marginalized folks, especially my own communities as a Queer Black & Afro-Dominican person) are in so many ways also the unimaginable. How many generations of survival and endurance and an irreducible desire to live have brought us this far? Does that not make us something unimaginable? Does that not give us the power to bring a morning too?

Julian Randall is a living queer black poet from Chicago pursuing his MFA at Ole Miss. He can be followed on Instagram and Twitter @JulianthePoet.

31. Aziza Barnes

retitiling 2017 A logic: cop is to take & pig is a cop & Jimmy is a Johnson & Johnson is a dick & Dick is a Richard & Chip is a Frank & Frank is honest & Also a suggestion & Dick is a suggestion & Short for a fuller name & Coarse is a word for hair & Hair is dead & growing & Dead is brown often on plants & Green is money unless its young & Guap is bread is cheese is where we put pesticides & A pest is a hairy pussy & pussy Is a pet or a chore or a slave & A slave is brown so is dead so is hair so is also growing & Dick or Short for the fuller name is a weapon or An honest suggestion or Something to cop or Something to pig & pig is often an element of a verb to pig often it is a direction out which is to eat a lot of unnecessarily & a jimmy is also a way to loosen what been locked also a verb to jimmy which is also something to cop but short for the name theft which is to eat too much & coarse Is the opposite of fine which is Handsome & Too thin for light & Unable to braid & also just Okay & okay is how Andrew Jackson signed his checks which is also how Richard Blaine signed his checks in Casablanca OKAY which is a movie about a Dick that Jimmyd a fine slave or a Richard that Johnsond a nation for some young or a man that stole a woman for $10,000 francs & called it a name that didnt relate or a shared name with a commander to genocide of Native Americans & of which I am one & if OKAY wasnt OKAYD there would be more of me & dick had a black piano player Or dick had a suggestion for a dead music which is Latin song & Rome is where Latin was & the aqueduct Was a system of moving dirt from water from the people or a system of a pest to eat versus a pest to drown which is what happened to many coarse bodies or women bodies or slave bodies in certain lakes in the Americas where Richard Blane is from & saved by throwing a fine green on a plane for his coarse green love or his hair grown dead or his OKAY gone OKAY or his unable to braid suggestion of a cop which is also a pig which can be a pet if it behaves well.

Aziza Barnes is blk and alive. Winner of the 2015 Pamet River Prize, Azizas first full length collection i be but i aint is from YesYes Books 2016. They are a Cave Canem Fellow, co-founder of The Conversation Literary Festival and co-host of the podcast The Poetry Gods.

32.Dominique Christina

The year is no poem. It wont be called anything With light inside it. It snatches milk from The mouths of infants A lion devouring shrines and sunlight.

2017 is a weapon.

A low groan in the dark, A woman in the basement With a wire hangar and a baby No bigger than a mustard seed That she will meet as an ooze in her palms 2017 is the lynch mob discography: Girl bodies Gay bodies Trans bodies Black bodies Poor bodies Nobodies All strung up like Mardi Gras beads on Main Street The stench doesnt stop the parade

Thats America.

2017 is a funeral procession. A lunatics marching orders Conversion therapy Celebrity Apprentice on A terrible loop,

2017 is no poem.

Its the bastard child of Interred bones in the Tallahatchie River A severed spine in Baltimore A boys brain on the street in Ferguson The last breath of a man in New York Traffic stops that crescendoed to murder 2017 is a dustbin Stacked with protest signs and court orders The lickety split shudder Of a nation that ran into its ghosts And only the women were Acquainted with being haunted. Empty cupboard soliloquy queens Snatching their children From public schools and Handing them switchblades

Mommy is sorry.

This is what the teacher wont show you.

Take it.

These bastards need mortality.

2017 is the state house glittered now in menstrual blood.

Girl children baying at the dawn limp moon Oak trees decorated with brassieres Nazis with their teeth knocked out A linguistic resistance With no room for words like alt right When white supremacy is story enough.

2017 is no poem.

Its a pipeline trying To breech an ocean, A woman in a wheelchair At a protest rally, A tear gas canister on the steps of the Capitol.

2017 didnt bring my God with it.

Just hexes and hurricane winds A democracy doomed by The wrong weather wreckage of Rich men and their crucifixion fetish We gon all carry a cross You better believe it Let whatever happens be biblical then. Let the locusts come if they must.

America is a murdered woman Ghosting the world With her cracked levees, Her burned out mosque, Her shot up church, Her impossible promise Her unmarked graves, And I am dumb with calling her name. Despite the yelps of history, My wobbly faith splits heaven wide open Reimagines God as mammy, Starch white apron and a shotgun, Babies suckling at her unremarkable breasts Pushing scripture out from the rubble Saying the battle is finally over and me, War-walloped and heaving, Rummaging through debris looking for Something that glitters…

Oh America, (If that is your real name) Take these bones and perform One last miracle Take these hands and give me Back my mouth Take this mouth and give me back my feet Take these feet and give me back my courage Dazzle this uncaptured girl that I might Live long enough to tell my grandchildren About the year I stopped beseeching God and In the trench grew my own temple. God of the in-between, God of the firing pin, God of the slaughtered lamb, God of a risen god, Unspell me, here.

I am singing you the hymn of my skirt. I am burning yellow dahlias on my One good altar not splintered by shrapnel Or singed with smoke… If there is any prayer left In this world let it be What is left of our hearts, Our coliseum hearts, And the stupid hope that Regulates the metronome Of our blood machinery. The orchestral thrumming, The insistent rumble, Of our broken, impossible hearts, The only evidence Ie ever had That mountains can be moved.

Dominique Christina is a mother, published author, licensed educator, two-time Women of the World Slam Champion, social agitator, intersectional feminist and cultural Jedi. She is sought after to teach and perform at colleges and universities nationally and internationally every year.

33.Jason Reynolds

IF 2017 WERE A POEM

id call it a flaming bag of shit left at the front door at the side door at the back door your door a gathering double-dutch bucking at flames the orange of them plucking at our faces like immature older brothers jarring us from sleep barring us from passage crackling like broken voice smelling of familiar kindling to some to me at my door cotton rope paper add flint for spark shoot shit no water no water this time this time id call it this time us all here like every time this prank the prank of all stupid white boy pranks gets pulled figuring between filthying our feet up or kicking our feet up and letting the whole damn house burn down id call it this time deciding to sacrifice name brands some chapped overworked epidermis and an epidemic of supple unbothered soles eager to know stomp for once id call it this time were prepared to explain the haunting fecal scent to the houseguests wed promised to host over water id call it they are coming from far they will need a place to stay

Jason Reynolds is The New York Times bestselling author of several novels for young people, including Ghostand All-American Boys, which he co-authored with Brendan Kiely. His new novel in verse, Long Way Down, hits stores this fall.

34.Mahogany L. Browne

1.

When they turn bodegas into boutique grocery stores

When they bounce cops up the block

Like this hipster protection program wont turn back

Lefrak into Harlem turn back Harlem into Chirac

turn back BedStuy into Brownsville turn Brownsville back

Into the Bronx back into Gaza back…

You will taste this strange and bitter American history

Where the Mom and Pop work more hours than the Governor

Where the pesticides overflow our sewer systems

Float our food deserts into neighborhoods

One way in

One way out

Tell me this gentrification be for my own good

Tell me this housing project keep us warfare ready

Tell me Biggie died for our sins

& Ill show you a Brooklyn stoop with a babies name etched in chalk

A hashtag ghost gone already

A price tag on his sisters face

Shes been missing since Sunday

Where choppa lights paint concrete a trail of breadcrumbs

A haunting finding its way back to our homes

1.

The Electoral College is

a lullaby designed to put us

back to sleep.

1.

The ocean is weeping a righteous rage, she got questions for the living:

& what about the sweetheart who would grow to love Tamir Rice? Mike Brown? Korryn Gaines? Akia Gurley?

What about they mamas singing their name before each breakfast?

Or the church praying for their redemption bibles raised in the air?

What about their (almost) children? How about they Daddys smile?

What about they name make them so easy to turn to ash?

How we ghosting black boys for the toys we gift them?

1.

On a Monday

A white body told my black body

It aint earned no apology for the bloodshed

For the nights when my skin grow so cold

I know I must be inches from death

For each death hand delivered to me,

this: silence this: certain dismissal this: post racial reality show this: confederate hug

& dont it bloom like a mushroom sky?

What about the blues? Why it cry like hail? Why it hell like America so so long

1.

Yo: America

Whatchu know about noose ready

Whatchu know about chalk lines & double barrels

Whatchu know about a murder weapon

Or a loose cigarette

Or a baby sleeping on a couch

Whatchu you know about the flag

The confederate fathers

The truck that followed me down a lonely road in Georgia

The names that I rolled off my tongue in prayer?

Saint Sojourner

Saint Harriet

Saint Rekia

Saint Sandra

Bring me home

Or leave me steady

Gun aimed and cocked ready

Con artists turned 45th resident of the White House

While the 44th President is lifted off the grounds

by his shadow & his Black wife

She sideeye all day

She cheekbone slay

While the media aim and shot at presidential legacy

Until weed smoke & a concert make us remember BLK people aint never been human here

Aint we beautiful, those that survived the purging

Those that spill, body splay beautiful from a hateful song

This swing sweet sweet low spiritual aint neva been inclusive

Whatch know about larynx & baton

How you sing him crow in the key of Emmett Till

What fever fuss you awake?

Who else got copd anxiety?

Call it what it is: Post traumatic slave syndrome

Call it land tax until homeless

Call it abortion turned sterilization

Aint no lie like the one against our stillborn children

Aint no lie like the many that shaped our babies into mute cattle

Prison industrial complex reverberates in the tune of elementary

4th graders are the easiest targets

1.

A Math Problem:

If 1 woman, got a 7 Mac 11

& 2 heaters for the beemer

How many Congress seats will NRA lose?

How many votes will it take for a sexual predator

to lift the White House off her feet?

1.

I am practicing this aim

This tongue a shoestring strafe

My tongue say:

Melt the wires of Guantanamo

Yasin Bey coming home aint what we thought it would be

Aint no solace in Mecca

Even Spike Lee left Brooklyn

Here, a slumlord will leave my front steps

Full of rat piss &AirBnB my neighbors apartment

for half my take home pay

Unhinge the city of Rikers

Bring back the reapers

Give them the loot & the stoop

Yea, they good at killin but so was Jefferson.

I mean Washington. I mean CIA. I mean Cointelpro.

I mean they mimic your Grace. I mean its a 2017, America.

A new new year &your face lift be botched.

Mahogany L. Browne is author of Redbone (nominated for NAACP Image Award for Outstanding Literary Works) and co-editor of forthcoming anthology The Break Beat Poets: Black Girl Magic. She is an internationally touring poet and Artistic Director of Urban Word NYC, Program Director of BLM@Pratt, Poetry Program Director at the Nuyorican Poets Caf.

*All biographies were provided by Tabia Yapp and the participating poets.

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