#but she is soo full of herself. and just incredibly selfish???

[fiovske]

watching mrs maisel s3 casually bc i watched upto s2 years ago and mygod how the hell did she get so annoying as fuck.

#like.. i dont hate characters or anything #but she is soo full of herself. and just incredibly selfish??? #everyone is in love w her and thinks she is perfect while i just keep seeing her treat #anybody else who is not herself w so little regard idfk #like even her husband who was a loser grew as a character. #and when i used to think her husband didnt deserve her #now i think SHE doesnt deserve her husband #she's just.. incredibly self-absorbed. #i dont get it. #is it just me or did the writing go to complete shit...

[nctsjiho]

Your Fault

warnings: strong language, consumption of alchol, mention of death without actual death, very much angst

era: July 7th 2021

❀ NCT 127's 5th anniversary isn't a day to celebrate and be happy for everyone

To Doyoung:

“Happy 5th anniversary oppa!”

“I hope you and the boys are having a great time <3”

JiHo stared at her phone intently waiting for the “sent” at the bottom of her screen to turn into “read”. She had been staring at her phone like that for nearly an hour, yet nothing changed. The girl knew that the boys were busy, but somewhere she hoped that she’d hear from them. Besides the short “wished you could be with us” message she had received the evening before from Taeyong she hadn’t heard from anyone else. Of course JiHo was aware that the boys were busy, but was it a crime to feel left out and maybe want a phone call or something more than a “wished you could be with us” from anyone?

And so JiHo continued to stare at her phone, everything on the small screen getting progressively more blurry as time went on. Her eyes were straining, one almost pressed shut, the other slowly going cross-side. Her right hand, which wasn’t holding the phone, reached out to the glass bottle on her desk. A quick shake letting her know it was empty. So she reached for the other one, opening it skilfully with one hand – like she did with the other two bottles now empty on her desk – and bringing it up to her lips. “Must be nice hm~ Being an idol or whatever…”

“I’m glad you came over.” Sihyun, JiHo’s Esteem manager that lives with her, said as she grabbed the boy’s coat off his shoulders. The piece of clothing, along with his hair, slightly damp caused by the light drizzle outside. “JiHo’s been a bit sensitive and doesn’t let me in her room. She doesn’t want to talk to me at all.” Jaemin watched the woman’s face full of worry. He gave her a small reassuring smile and then glanced at the door leading to JiHo’s room. “I’ll try to talk to her.” Thanking Jaemin, Sihyun then excused herself, telling him she had to run some late night errands.

Not knowing what was happening behind the closed door of the bedroom, Jaemin knocked a few times. “Unnie~ Just leave me- leave me alone.” JiHo hiccupped between her words, her speech sounding a bit slurred. She had been drinking? JiHo?

Without a second thought Jaemin pushed the door open. A jumbled mess of protests escaped JiHo’s lips, but she froze in her chair as soon as her eyes locked with Jaemin. “What… are you doing here?” She muttered to the best of her abilities. “Coming to check up on you.” He neared the girl and poked at the bottles and the mess on her desk. “Clearly you need it.” His tone sounded very much disappointed and for a split second JiHo felt her heart ache, but she quickly turned defensive. “I do not!”

A sigh escaped deep from Jaemin’s chest and he pulled JiHo to sit on the edge of her bed next to him. “Since when do you drink?” It was quiet for a bit. JiHo looked at the bottle of the alcoholic beverage in her hand, swirling it around by circling her wrist and then started to giggle to herself. “A new hobby?” She turned to Jaemin, a big smile on her lips – however Jaemin could see the sadness behind it easily. “It’s fun. Feeling… Nothing! I can barely feel my… my lips.” Her body swayed from side to side prompting Jaemin to grab her by her shoulders and hold her in place. “It’s fun until you wake up with a hangover tomorrow.” He scoffed. “Can’t get a hangover if I don’t sleep.” She said, before turning to her desk. She then pointed at the box of another 9 bottles of alcohol next to it on the floor. “Or if I don’t stop drinking.” She grinned.

“Yah! What’s wrong with you?” Jaemin’s patience ran dry quickly. He just felt so furious seeing how badly JiHo was treating her own body. She never drank and now she was planning to drink 12 bottles of alcohol? Drinking herself straight into the hospital, and if it weren’t for Jaemin being here, maybe straight into her own grave. “This is strong alcohol! For all I know you can’t even handle it, so what made you decide to drink now huh?” He yelled, anger only rising watching the girl just stare at him with wide, innocent eyes.

Those same eyes turned to look at her laptop, located on the desk she sat at earlier. The NCT 127 online fanmeeting being streamed, muted.

Of course Jaemin knew it was NCT 127’s 5th anniversary, he knew it must’ve affected JiHo in some way, even if she kept insisting she was going to be fine and was happy for the boys. She even said that she wasn’t “part of the group since debut, so it wouldn’t even be my 5th anniversary” and everyone just had to nod and smile.

“Is that a reason to potentially drink yourself to death?” Jaemin poked her side – maybe a bit too harsh – to gain her attention again; she seemed to be zoning out every few seconds. “What else was I supposed to do? I’m tired of keeping things in.” She sneered at him and it was almost as if she didn’t drink anything. She sounded much more coherent than just a minute earlier. “Aren’t you doing just that though? Drinking on your own. Not letting Sihyun noona in? We keep telling you to talk to us, yet all you do is keep things in. The hyungs even took you out to do stuff and get your mind off things yet you get home and do the thing you always do.”

JiHo felt every drop of alcohol leave her system as she heard the somewhat condescending tone in her friend’s voice. “What the fuck? So this is my fault-“ “Kinda, yes! You just sit here feeling sorry for yourself while everyone is worried over you! We’re your friends for a reason JiHo. There are so many people who care for you, just start fucking talking when you feel down like this.”

The blood inside of JiHo’s veins started to boil and at the same time she felt tears pricking behind her eyes. “You think it’s that easy? What am I supposed to say? That I feel upset that I can’t be with 127 now? Okay. Then what about it? Me telling you this won’t change shit!” “At least you should stop lying and stop telling everyone you’re fine when you’re not! Why do you continue keeping things a secret from everyone?” Both JiHo and Jaemin’s chest rose and fell at a rapid pace. “But I guess you’re good at that anyway.” He added in a mumble.

Once the words registered in JiHo’s mind, the bottle that started to hover towards her lips was quickly forgotten. “What do you mean by that?” Jaemin just shrugged his shoulders and turned his gaze away from JiHo. “Jaemin? What do-“ “You were supposed to debut in 2016 with NCT U?” JiHo’s eyes widened and she pushed herself to stand up. “How’d you know-“ “Then they asked you to debut in 127? Also with us… In Dream?” “How do you know?” Was the only thing JiHo could say.

“Does it matter?” Jaemin yelled, standing up as well. “Why do you continue to keep secrets from us? Do you not trust us? Is that why you sit here alone? Drinking and crying alone.” The boy watched as JiHo stood in front of him wordlessly. He could see how his words were affecting her, but he wanted to be selfish for once. He wanted to let JiHo know how frustrating things were for him and his friends. He was well aware of how JiHo had her own worries and hardships, but if she never wanted to confide in anyone, then he was allowed to be mad right?

The only sound filling the room was both of their ragged breathing and the occasional shift from one foot to the other. The silence was almost deafening, a ringing shooting up JiHo’s clouded mind making her feel like she was going to lose it any second now. Her friend sending hurtful glares her way didn’t help ease the growing pain either.

“You’re right. I could’ve debuted in 2016, what about it?” JiHo whispered, afraid that her talking too loud would send surges of pain into her brain. “Why did you hide it from us? Why didn’t you say yes back then?” Jaemin interrogated her. “There was no reason to tell you if it didn’t happen. I didn’t debut so telling you I could’ve wouldn’t change a thing. I’m not in Dream, I didn’t debut in U and clearly now, I’m not in 127 either. Jaemin… It doesn’t matter anymore…” JiHo’s voice stayed as calm as possible.

“How long have you known Jaemin?” JiHo spoke up again as Jaemin didn’t say anything. She felt the tension grow exponentially, the pressure on her body and more noticeably her head increasing and bothering her more as well. “I heard it during that last meeting you had with Yebin noona and Mister Lee Soo Man…” JiHo let out a small chuckle, shaking her head in disbelief. “I guess we’re eavesdropping and keeping secrets from me as well.”

She brought the glass bottle still in her hands to her lips, throwing her head back, to down as much of the liquid as possible. Before she could finish it all in one go, Jaemin gripped the bottle and pulled it away from her. “It’s not the same, JiHo!”

The liquid rushed from between JiHo’s lips, making a wet patch on her grey sweatpants. She could feel her throat and lungs burning as she coughed, caused by the alcohol going down her windpipe instead.

Jaemin watched her with concern painting his features, his hand slowly caressing her back hoping it would ease her violent coughs. “I’m sorry. Are you okay?” He whispered and JiHo gave him a small nod as her body calmed down.

The two 00 liners stayed like that for a while, with Jaemin’s eyes burning at the back of JiHo’s downturned head. Even after JiHo’s body stopped shaking violently, Jaemin’s concern continued to grow. It was only when he noticed the drops, which only could be tears, fall onto her sweatpants and create even more wet spots, that he decided to step in.

Jaemin’s hand securely gripped JiHo’s shoulder and he pulled her up to face him. A gasp left the boy’s mouth as he watched large tears spill from his friend’s eyes. “Ji…” It proved incredibly difficult to speak when he was faced with a situation he wasn’t ready to deal with. Maybe Jaemin shouldn’t have confronted her the way he did. Maybe acting like everything was fine wouldn’t have caused him to witness JiHo at possibly the worst she has felt.

It became a full minute of Jaemin staring into JiHo’s pain- and tear-filled eyes, feeling like he could drown in them himself, before a loud pained sob brought him to reality. The sudden jolt of JiHo’s body forward made Jaemin act quickly and pulled the girl into his chest. His hand, just as quickly, found its way into JiHo’s slightly tangled hair.

“I’m… sor- so sorry.” JiHo sobbed into his chest, tears soaking through even the thicker material of the boy’s jumper. Jaemin could feel his sweater start to stick against his chest, yet what felt more uncomfortable than the damp piece of clothing was the feeling of JiHo’s body shaking in his hold.

As best as he could, Jaemin tried to soothe JiHo. Almost like taking care of a crying toddler, he swayed the girl from side to side. His lips were pressed against the shell of JiHo’s ear as Jaemin whispered affirmations into her skin. “Don’t apologise... Stop apologising.”

“I’m only bringing the team down-” “Shh JiHo. Stop that.” He told her, as his fingers continued to comb through her hair, slowly and carefully detangling it along the way. JiHo pressed her eyes tighter as even more tears spilled from her cheeks and pushed herself closer into Jaemin’s grasp.

Mouth agape, a sob that was building up in his own chest was threatening to fall from Jaemin’s own lips. “You don’t deserve any of this JiHo, you only deserve the best.” JiHo only shook her head, but didn’t dare to speak again. “You do... You really do.”

The night in the capital of South-Korea was never really that dark. Lights always seemed to find their way past the pulled back blinds of any building that wasn’t directly blocked by another one due to bad city planning. So even during the darkest time of day, even when all the lights inside have been dimmed, somehow, it was still light enough to see inside.

So when Jaemin pulled back to look at JiHo’s face, her eyes still tightly pressed shut - which pained him immensely - Jaemin could see the light reflecting off of her wet cheeks.

Feeling two hands being placed on her burning cheeks, JiHo finally decided to open her eyes again. A few more tears rolled over her cheeks onto Jaemin’s thumbs, but luckily no new ones seemed to form. “I’m sorry for everything, all this drama. It’s my fault.” Jaemin shook his head and pulled the girl back, this time to hide his own tears that were starting to form. “Please stop apologising, it’s not your fault.”

“But-” JiHo sighed, her arms found their way around Jaemin’s small waist. “I hate that it’s always about me. I don’t want to be this cliche ‘emotional girl with so many problems and everyone has to pay attention to her problems’. I don’t want that. I don’t want to burden you guys with that, but I also don’t want that kind of attention. I know people already hate me for being in a boy’s group. I don’t want my stupid problems to be the only thing that people assiociate me with NCT.”

“Your problems are not stupid JiHo. And though I understand what you’re saying, I think it’s worse to keep it in. If anything, keeping it in just makes us worry about you more and may get you more attention. JiHo I know things suck right now, and I can’t imagine how you’re feeling with everything going on right now, but… Please just talk to us when things are bothering you. We all love you.”

At those last words JiHo loudly sniffled back some stray tears. She pressed herself into Jaemin’s warm embrace and softly nodded her head. “From now on I will. I promise. And…” JiHo looked up at Jaemin, sending him a small smile that he gratefully reciprocated. “I love you guys too. You’re all I have here and that’s enough to make me stay.”

Jaemin’s hand resumed with his previous ministrations. A deep sigh left his lips as he rested his head atop of JiHo’s. “Everything will be just fine.” Jaemin pressed a kiss against JiHo’s hair. “As long as we stay together everything will be just fine.”

#jiho.writings #nct 24th member #nct addition #nct female member #nct imagines #nct angst #nct jaemin angst #nct extra member #nct additional member #nct female addition #kpop!addition #kpop!oc

[totallysharkycomplete]

Waiting For You Part Five (Ford Pines x Reader) What’s Lost Isn’t Forgotten

“Brother!” Stan calls and walks towards Ford. Ford unexpectedly punches him in the face and begins arguing with him.

She takes a step forward and calls Ford’s name. He looks over at her and his face turns to disbelief, and he lets go of Stan.

He whispers her name. “Is it really you?” All she can do is nod and she runs forwards to hug him. He lifts her and spends her around. “I can’t believe it.” He sets her down and moves his hands to cup her face to pull her up for a kiss. “It really is you.”

Their tender moment was interrupted by Mabel.

She pulls away from Ford, red in the face, having forgotten the kids and Soos were even down here.

Ford is introduced to Mabel, then Dipper who freaks out. He spouts off about how he has so many questions and mentions how he can’t believe you’re married to the author of the journals.

She sits and listens to their whole ‘mysterious backstory’ as Mabel calls it. Enjoying hearing the story from both sides. After the whole situation was over Stan sent the kids off to bed.

She walked them upstairs to give the brothers some time alone to talk. Dipper bombarded her with questions that she happily answered. “No more secrets from me, promise.” She used her finger to cross her heart.

She tucked Dipper into bed then Mabel. “Thank you, Mable.” She smiled sweetly as Mabel looked confused.

“For what?” Mabel askes.

“You said you’d find me a boyfriend by the end of the summer, and if it weren’t for you I wouldn’t have my boyfriend back.” She smiles as Mabel's eyes grow wide, as does her smile.

“Thank you too, Dipper. If you had never found the journal we wouldn’t have been able to get him back either. I’ll make sure you get to ask him plenty of questions soon, alright?” She promised and wished them a goodnight.

She comes back down the stairs to see the two brothers arguing and frowns as Stan storms away from him. Walking up to Ford she wraps her arms around him and he does the same. She breathes a sigh of relief.

“I’ve missed you so much,” she whispers.

“I’ve missed you too, more than I can say with words.” He leans down to kiss her forehead.

“Let’s go to sleep.” She takes his hand and starts walking to the bed room.

He turns to go into his old room but she stops him. “There’s no bed in there anymore. When I, um, we lost you, it was too painful to stay in there alone.”

He nods in understanding and follows her to her room. She closes the door behind her and he pulls her into another hug. “Did you really wait for me? For thirty years?”

“Oh course I did, Stanford.” She looks up at him concerned.

“It’s just that, you could have started a new life. You could have had a family.” His face is sad, almost guilty.

“I didn’t want to, Ford. Not without you.” She brought her hand to show him the ring he gave her. “You’re my family.”

He only nods before leaning down to kiss her. She leans into the kiss but feels tears begin to fall from her eyes, overwhelmed with emotions. Pulling away she wipes her cheeks, but sees that Ford is crying as well. They lock eyes and laugh, both wiping at their tears.

“We’ve both had a very emotional day. Let’s go to sleep.” She walks over to the dresser and digs around for a moment. “These are yours.” She states. “I’m not sure they’ll still fit though you look… More built.” She smirks.

He takes the clothes from her and watches and she begins to change into her night shirt. His eyes can’t pull away as she pulls her shirt over her head. She’s still as beautiful as the day he disappeared, but her body is different. It’s softer, with more age lines, but he feels awestruck by her beauty.

“Ford, you’re staring.” She looks embarrassed. “I know I’m not as young and fit as I was but-”

“You’re absolutely stunning. You look different, but in the most amazing way possible.” He assures her.

She nodded and finished changing. Her face turned mischievous as she looked at him. “Now it’s my turn to watch.”

He can’t help the heat that rises to his cheeks. “Uh, right.” He sits down and takes off his boots, and stands to remove his sweater. “Listen, I… The dimensions I visited weren't always friendly. I have some scars.”

“Ford, it’s alright. I expected as much.” She lays a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

She thought he would have scars, but didn't expect so many. “Oh, Ford.” She whimpers.

Almost his entire torso is covered in scars. She lays a hand over his peck and runs her fingers over one long scar. He sighs at her touch. “I’m so sorry,” she sniffs.

He takes her hand from his chest and raises it to his lips to kiss it. “Don’t think too much of it. For every hostile being I meet, there were just as many friendly ones who helped patch me up.” He slips his shirt on over his head, finding it just a little tight, but would work for the night.

She climbs into bed, with Ford right behind her, and snuggles close to him. He wraps his arms around her and holds her tight. “I love you, goodnight.”

“I love you, Ford. I’m so glad you’re back.” She yawns before falling asleep.

He wakes up from a nightmare and looks around the room. Although a little unfamiliar he knows he’s home. Looking at his side he sees his love gone from his side. His heart still beating fast from his dream he starts to panic, and calls her name.

Right as he does she walks back into the room and closes the door. “What’s wrong?” She quickly makes her way over to him. “I’m sorry, I was just in the bathroom. Are you alright?” Sitting back on the bed she pulls him close to her.

He sighs at the touch. “Just a bad dream is all. Have them quite frequently.”

“You can always wake me up, okay?” She coos, and kisses him on the shoulder. “Can you go back to sleep or do you need to stay up for a minute?”

He can’t help as a yawn escapes him. “I can sleep.”

They cuddle back together, but she stays awake until she is sure he’s asleep.

When she wakes up the sun is shining in through the curtains. She can feel the even breaths Ford is breathing under her cheek.

She shifts her head to look up at his sleeping face. Examining all the details that are the same, and how it’s changed. He still has a strong jawline, if not stronger. The hair on his head is graying, much like hers, and he has wrinkles under and beside his eyes.

She cant help herself from reaching up and running her hand across the stubble on his jaw. His eyes are still closed but he smiles.

He takes her hand and kisses it. “Good morning.”

She responds by moving off his chest up to his mouth to kiss him. “It’s a very good morning.” He kisses her back. “Maybe the best morning ever.”

He chuckles and she can feel his chest rumble under her hand. “I couldn’t agree more.”

Running her thumb over his stubble she smiles. “I can’t believe you got more handsome.” Ford’s cheeks turn red and he looks away. She laughs. “I see you’re still just as bashful.”

“I was just thinking the same thing about you.” He pulls her into another kiss, then another, and another. Sitting up, he pulls her into his lap. Now it’s her turn to blush.

There’s a knock on the door and Mabel’s voice sounds from the other side. She calls her name, but adds ‘Graunt’ in front of it. “Grunkle Stan is taking us to the diner! He said if you wanna come be in the car in five minutes or we’re leaving you!” Then her footsteps are heard running down the stairs.

Ford looks down at the woman in his lap. Her hand is held over her mouth, but he can see the impossibly wide smile behind it. “She called me her graunt…” Her heart feels so impossibly full from the simple word.

“Well you technically are.” Ford chuckles. “That seems to mean a lot to you. You must really care for those two.”

She nods. “Ford, they are such incredible kids. I’m excited for you to get to know them more. Dipper reminds me so much of you.” Ford frowns, and it doesn’t go unnoticed. “What’s wrong?”

“When Stan and I were talking last night, well, it was more of arguing, he told me he wanted me to stay away from the kids. I agreed. I also told him he can stay here until the end of the summer with the kids, but after he has to leave, and all this Mystery Shack nonsense ends.” He informs her.

“I, but Ford…” She was unsure what to say. It all seemed so unfair, so she decided to tell him. “That seems unfair to me.” She moved to sit on her knees next to him and took his hand in hers. “I might be being selfish but I just got you back, and now you want Stan to leave? We worked so hard to bring you back, Ford, and while you were gone Stan took care of me.” She sighs. “I, Ford, I was ready to give up but he wouldn’t let me. The only reason he opened the shack was to get money. I was spending every second of every day in the basement. Stan made sure I ate, and slept. He made sure I was taken care of.”

Ford scans her face. “Were you two…” He can’t finish his thought, but she gets what he means.

She can’t help but laugh. “Ford, you’re brother and I were nothing more than friends.” She thinks for a second. “We kissed once and it was terrible,” she laughs again. “But beside you, Ford, he’s my best friend, and your brother. All I’m asking is that you just think about reconsidering.”

His face is stern but he nods. “I’ll think about it.”

“That’s all I ask.” She kisses him. There’s a squeal of car tires from outside signaling Stan and the kids are gone. “So how would you like to spend the rest of the morning?” She smirks.

“Well, I’d like to check on the portal, and my experiments.” He says thinking aloud.

She laughs and moves to straddle his lap, moving her hands to his chest, and kissing his collar bone. “I was thinking we could make up for lost time.”

“I like that idea much more.” He pulls her close.

----------

It’s midday when they make their way down into the lab. As Stan requested, Ford avoids the kids.

They stand in front of the portal.

“This was such a risky move.” He says without thinking.

“It was a risk I had to take.” She doesn’t apologize.

“I’m…” he wraps her in a hug. “I appreciate you getting me home, I really do. I thought I’d never see you again. However,” he looks back up at the portal. “We have to destroy this.”

She agrees and they get to work.

They have the portal about halfway deconstructed when one of the higher up panels starts to sway. Ford notices it moving and looks up, right as it breaks away and begins to fall. She is standing right below it.

“Watch out!” Ford dives towards her and pushes her out of the way, the metal panel making contact directly with his head and he falls to the ground motionless.

“Ford?” A small pool of blood has begun collecting around his head. “Oh my god Ford!” She yells and shakes his shoulder to stir him.

Tears begin to form in her eyes right as he opens his eyes. He looks at her and smiles.

“Ford?” She asks again.

He sits up and grabs his head. “Are you alright?” He asks.

She looks at him in disbelief before moving to check where his head is wounded. “Are you insane? I’m fine, you’re the one who's bleeding!”

“Hey, hey!” He takes her face in his hands forcing her to make eye contact. “I’m alright really, look.” Ford knocks on his head next to where he’s bleeding and there is a loud metallic banging.

She’s still looking at his eyes wide with confusion.

“A had a metal plate installed in my head that way Bill could never enter my mind again. It’s just a little cut, promise I’m alright.” He brushes a tear away from her cheek.

“God, Ford,” she sniffs. “I just got you back. I thought I was going to lose you again.” She pulls him in for a hug, not worrying about the blood that seeps down onto her sleeve.

“You can’t get rid of me that easily.” He jokes and she lightly smacks his shoulder.

She pulls away from the hug to give him a passionate kiss, which he is happy to return.

“Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.” She takes his hand and pulls him up. His balance wavers and he grabs onto her shoulder. She helps him sit down in a chair and hurries back with the first aid kit, which she always made sure was well stocked with how much Stan hurt himself.

She begins cleaning his head wound. “You really have to be more careful.” She can’t help but scold him. One hand holds his cheek steady, he doesn’t move and Ford leans into her touch.

“I’d rather I get hurt over you anyday.” He doesn’t apologize.

“I just got you back.” She sighs.

Ford brings his hand up to caress one on his cheek. “I just got you back as well.” He reminds her.

She pauses, not having really thought of it that way, then continues cleaning his wound. “I guess even after all this time we are both just as hard headed.”

When she's done stitching his cut shut she kisses the top of his head for good measure. “There, that should be good as long as you don’t take any more metal panels to the head.”

He beams up at her. “How did you get so good at that?”

“Stan hurt himself a lot while we were working on the portal. I got used to stitching him up since it was faster and cheaper than going to the hospital every other day.” She gives him a sad smile. “Although you were a lot less whiny than Stan normally is.”

He hums in thought. “Maybe taking a break from the portal for a minute would be a good idea.”

“I agree. I’m going to go change out of this bloody shirt first.” She motions down at her blood soaked sleeve.

He grabs her arm as she begins to walk away. She can see the uncertainty on his face. Leaning down she places a gentle kiss to his lips.

“I’m only going upstairs. I won’t be far.” She looks into his eyes and he nods. “Plus I'm sure you brought back some experiments you need to check on.

She makes her way upstairs and almost makes it to her room before she bumps into Stan.

“Geez, kid, watch where you’re-” He stops talking and grimaces at the blood on her sleeve.”

She looks down and realizes what the problem is. “Oh, don’t worry it’s not mine.”

Stan’s face doesn’t look any less concerned.

“Ford’s fine too, just a little accident. You know how it goes.” She can’t help but laugh.

Stan grumbles something then walks away. An unusually harsh treatment from her normally warm best friend. She brushes it off though and quickly changes. When She’s back downstairs she finds everyone hanging out in the gift shop.

She greets them but only Mable acknowledges her. Stan’s head shoved deep in a newspaper and Dipper’s in Ford’s journal. There’s a moment of silence before Ford bursts out of his lab with a weird octopus-like creature stuck to his arm.

She tries to keep Dipper and Mable behind her for safety but they both peer around her eager to see their new Grunkle. Ford captures the creature easily enough and starts to head back to the lab, but Dipper’s right on his trail offering to help.

Ford turns down his offer before closing the door. Stan gives Dipper a lecture about staying away from Ford.

Dipper points at his newly titled Graunt. “But she gets to spend time with him and do dangerous stuff.”

She frowns. “Dipper, I’m an adult and have been doing this for a long time.”

“You’re still going to watch the season finale of Duck-Tective with us Friday, right?” Mabel checks.

“Absolutely. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

The next week is spent helping Ford disassemble the portal and helping Stan with the shack. She getting ready for bed when Ford comes into the room beaming and gabbing about playing DD&MD that day.

She smiles and sits on the bed. “I’m glad you're spending time with him. He reminds me so much of you.” her smile falls for a second. “But didn’t Stan ask you to stay away from the kids?”

Ford is taking his boots off and he freezes and thinks. “Stan will just have to get over himself.”

She sighs and lays back onto the bed. “I know you and Stan didn’t have the best relationship before you went into the portal, and I knew it wouldn’t be magically fixed when we got you back, but I did hope it would be a little bit better.” She feels the bed shift as Ford sits next to her.

“Mine and Stan’s relationship has been complicated for a long time. Him bringing me back isn’t going to fix it overnight.” He places his hand on hers.

“I know but,” she sits up with a huff. “I feel like neither of you are trying. When summer ends I don’t want to lose my best friend. Stan means a lot to me, and he’s your brother. I wish you would both just try.

Ford looks almost mad for a second before his face softens. “Come here.” He pulls her into his lap. “For you, I’ll try. Promise… Well… I’ll at least try to be civil.”

She looks at him with a pout before she buries her head in the crook of his neck. “Fine.” She whines with a yawn.

The next day she's ready to watch the season finale of Duck-Tective with Mabel, Stan, and Grenda. She smiles to see Ford is sitting cross legged on the ground playing DD&MD just like they did in college and spending time with his great nephew. However her smile fades when Stan and Ford begin to argue. The argument turns for the worst when Stan throw Ford’s bag on dice on to the ground and causes them to scatter. Then they have to go on a ridiculous fantastic quest to save Dipper and Ford.

Afterwards Stan apologizes to Dipper and it warms her heart. He even says it's okay if Dipper spends time with Ford. She was a little disappointed Ford didn’t join them to watch Their show but she understood. After it was over Dipper went to find Ford.

She sat at the table with Stan to have a drink.

“You were very sweet today.” She almost teases Stan.

“Think you got me mistaken with someone else.” Stan grunts as he sits.

“No, the fact you changed your mind to let Dipper spend time with Ford is really sweet. I don’t think I have to tell you how similar they are. Plus I think it’ll be nice that Dipper can ask him questions himself instead of him asking me to ask Ford questions.” She smiles over her glass at Stan.

Stan frowns deepens. “Didn’t do it for Ford. Did it for Dipper. Ford still hasn’t told me thank you, and I haven’t forgotten.”

She groans. “Why do you two have to be like this?!” She almost shouts. “You’re both so stubborn and hard headed. If you two could just sit down and talk about your feelings like real adults I don’t think we’d have a problem.”

“Not until he tells me thank you!” Stan raises his voice back.

She slams her hand on the table and stands up. “He hasn’t even told me thank you, Stan! He’s appreciative to be home but he’s still upset we risked this whole universe for him!”

Stan stands up and opens his mouth to say something but closes it. He is absolutely fuming as he storms away from you.

She stands there for a second more before sitting back down with her face in her hands. Quiet tears fall down her face and she cries alone for a few minutes. Then she feels a hand on her back.

“Darling, are you crying? What’s wrong?” Ford’s warm, wide hand begins to stroke reassuring circles on her back.

She wraps her arms around his neck and brings him in for a hug. “I’ve just had a lot of big emotions this week. Think they’ve finally caught back up to me at once.” She’s not lying, she's had a lot of emotions to work through this week, but she doesn’t want to mention arguing with Stan. It would just make everything worse.

“Why don’t we get you to bed.” Ford suggests and she nods silently.

She tries to stand, but before she can Ford picks her up bridal style bringing a smile to her face. “Ford, I can walk.”

He kisses her forehead. “I know. But you’ve done so much for me, let me?” He wants to be sure it’s okay. She nods and falls asleep in his arms before they reach their room.

----------

Ford sits up from a nightmare which draws her from her sleep as well. Before she can even ask what’s wrong he tells her.

“We have to warn them. He’s coming.”

----------

“You gave her what?” She shouts at Ford once he tells her about his meeting with Dipper and Mable.

“Was that… was that bad?” Ford’s face flushes red.

“Stanford you gave a twelve year old a crossbow!” She stares at him in disbelief. “Would you or Stanley have been able to use one at twelve?”

Ford thinks for a second and opens his mouth and thinks better of it.

She sighs. “I’ll just go with them to make sure they’re safe.” She srumbles together her things and tosses on a bag. She's about to walk out the door without saying anything when Ford grabs her arm.

“Let’s not part ways angry.” His eyes look over her face and he looks so unbelievably caring.

She sighs and pulls him into a kiss. “I’m not angry, I’m just worried about Mabel. She sometimes doesn't have the best judgment of character. Did I tell you she dated the gnomes at the beginning of summer?”

He laughs against her lips. “I understand you’re worried.” He pauses and thinks for a moment. “I’m worried too. Last time I encountered Bill he drove me away from you. I can’t let that happen again.”

She gives him another kiss. “I know you won’t.”

Later she returns with the girls to the shack, beaten and bruised.

Ford gives her a kiss and congratulates them on getting the unicorn hair. Dipper helps them glue the unicorn hair to the outside of the shack. Ford wraps his arm around her shoulder and she can’t but feel a little bit safer.

----------

She stares at the rift. “Ford it’s….”

He sighs and places his hand on her shoulder. “I’m aware.”

“You didn’t tell me?” She looks at him hurt.

“I didn’t keep it from you to keep it secret. I just didn’t want you to worry.” He sighs.

“But I could help. Ford I just got you back and now it feels like the world is about to end. I can’t lose you again.” He places her hand on top of his.

“Nor I you.” He looks in her eyes then looks away and clears his throat. “I was hoping that, um…” Ford searches his brain for the right words.

“Ford you know I’ll do anything for you, just ask.” She smiles sweetly at him.

“Well, I don’t need you to do anything for me. I was just hoping you’d do something with me.” He wraps his arms around her and rests his forehead on her. “When all this nonsense with Bill is done, I’d really like to finally marry you.”

She laughs. She cannot help it, but she laughs. Ford looks almost hurt. Her hands come up to cup her face and bring him in for a kiss. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t laugh. I just can't believe you were worried about asking me that. I’ve waited thirty year for you, of course I’m going to marry you.”

He smiles against her lips before bringing her back in for another kiss. “I’m the luckiest man alive to have you for a wife.”

“I’m the luckiest woman alive.”

----------

She runs after Mabel as soon as she runs from the shack, but by the time she reaches her, Bill has already been released into reality.

“Mabel no!” She screams as she watches the small girl suspended in the air as she gets wrapped in a bubble and chains and flown away.

“Well, well, well, well, well, well, well. Look what we have here! If it isn’t peace sign herself!” A voice behind her booms.

She turns around, already sure of who the voice belongs to. “Bill.”

“In the flesh!” He confirms as the yellow on his triangle opens and closes, revealing flesh and bones.

She turns and tries to run back to the shack, but is stopped as she is suspended in the air.

“Not so fast peace sign! I think you’d be a useful pawn against my dear friend six fingers!” Bill snaps his fingers and she is encased in a bubble similar to the one that carried Mabel away. “Can't have anything happening to you!” The bubble begins to move and flies to Bill’s Fearamid.

Bill keeps her behind bars. She sits and watches helplessly as people she knows from town are brought in one by one, turned to stone, and placed on Bill’s throne. She silently wishes Bill would have done the same to her, to spare her the awful reality in which she has to witness all this awful weirdness. But she knows that’s probably exactly why Bill didn’t turn her to stone, to make her suffer.

She won’t give up hope yet. She knows as long as Ford is out there fighting, there is still hope. That hope is quickly shattered as she watches Bill set Ford by his throne.

“Hey peace sign! Like my new back scratcher?!” He cackles at her anguished face. “The extra finger really adds to the scratch!”

She pulls her knees to her chest and quietly cries.

By the fourth day she can’t cry anymore, her head aches, her eyes are red and puffy, and she wishes she could sleep more than five minutes. The blaring music she had gotten used to, but the second one of Bill’s minions noticed she was asleep, they'd come over and smack the bars of her cage and wake her up.

---------

Stan is extremely relieved when the kids barge back into the shack. After he greets everyone he looks at the door expectantly.

“Are Fords and-” He tries to say but Dipper knows what he's going to ask.

“I know for a fact Bill has Grunkle Ford, but as for…” Dipper trails off.

They begin to argue a course of action and the other townspeople when Stan accidentally turns on the television. Every person and creature in the shack is brought to the reality that the people of Gravity Falls are being turned into stone, then the camera pans over to show their friend and Graunt.

She is behind bars and looks absolutely worn down.

Mabel and Dipper begin to hype everyone up to band together, but Stan is fast to voice his opinion against it.

“Grunkle Stan how can you say that?” Mabel pouts. “Bill has your best friend and brother. Are you just going to sit her while she suffers?”

Stan watches as everyone begins to form a plan.

----------

“Everyone has a weakness though guy, I’ll make you talk.” Bill threatens Ford at the top of the Fearamid. Ford is placed in chains.

Bill snaps and Ford watches in horror as his fiance appears next to the triangular menace.

“Don’t listen to him, Ford. I’m fine, don’t-” a rope comes up and wraps around her body and mouth.

“No!” Ford lets out an anguished scream. “Let her go, she has nothing to do with this.”

“Oh, Fordsie! Did you forget all the time we spent together? I’ve been in that silly little brain of yours, and I know how much she consumes your every thought! Did you forget who it was that showed you where the ufo was so you could propose to her there?! I know with her by my side I can get you to do what I want! Or maybe…”

Bill draws her close to his eye and looks closely at her. “If you know how to bring down the barrier she must know too! I’ll get one of you to talk for sure!”

----------

She watches in horror as Bill begins electrocuting Ford, knowing she would be next.

“If only one of you would talk, then you wouldn’t have to watch the love of your life torchered!” Bill cackles boisterously.

There’s a loud crash as the Mystery Shack crashes through one of the walls. She looks at Ford with hope on her face. Until Bill realizes maybe if he tortured the kids he could get Ford or her to talk, they both begin to yell before being turned to stone.

Her vision returns to her and she looks around to see everyone back to their normal selves. Ford takes her hand and pulls her to the kids where they share in a group hug.

Ford’s taken aback when he sees his old friend Fiddleford. She feels bad never having gotten around to telling Ford what happened to him. They share in a few heartfelt words and a hug before Dipper brings everyone's attention back to the fact that Bill is outside.

“Drawing a circle on the floor. Well. he’s lost his mind.” Stan shouts.

She lays a hand on Stan’s arm. “Trust him. Please.” Her smile is tired, and she looks so weak compared to the normal strong woman Stan was sued to seeing.

Ford explains the meaning of the symbol on the floor, and everyone begins taking their places.

“The peace sign.” Ford smiles fondly as she takes your place between him and Stan’s symbol.

Everyone takes hands and the ground begins to shake. She reaches her hand out towards Stan.

Stan begins to argue and everyone pleads him to join the circle.

“Stan, please.” She begs her friend.

“Fine, just do one thing, say thank you.” Stan says.

Her heart drops to her stomach. She knew both brothers were too proud and now wasn’t the time for this.

“What?” Ford gawks.

“We spent thirty years trying to bring you back and you couldn’t even tell me or your girlfriend, not wife, thank you!?” Stan barks.

She felt tears begin to prick her eyes. There was no need for Stan to add that she wasn’t his wife yet. She knew he was angry and being petty but it hurt.

“Now’s not the time, Stan.” She scowled, blinking back tears.

“Fine. Thank you.” Ford begrudgingly says and Stan takes his hand. It looks like for a second it might be working, until Stan begins to fight with his brother and breaks the circle.

“You two stop!” She shouts.

But it’s too late. Bill has arrived. He takes Stan, Ford, and her into his grasp and everyone gets ready to fight. Bill snaps his fingers but everyone but the twins levitates and disappears. The young twins are entrapped in a cage.

“Last chance: Tell me how to take Weirdmageddon global and I’ll spare the kids!” Bill threatens.

Mabel yells at him and gets his attention before spraying him in his eye with spray paint, causing his grip on the three to disappear. The kids free themselves and order them to run. The kids run off and they try to follow but Bill traps the three of them in another cage.

All she can do is sit beside Ford as he and his brother share a moment. Ford finally stands and states his idea of letting Bill inside his head.

“You can’t do that to Ford.” She grabs his hand.

“I’ll,” She chokes on her words. “I’ll let him inside my mind and you can erase him.” She's scared. She's so extremely scared to lose everything important to her, but she’s more afraid of losing Dipper and Mabel.

The brothers share a look. “Absolutely not.” They say at the same time.

“But, but,” She whimpers.

“What if…” Stan states his plan, and she's against it. She’d rather take the sacrifice but she knows neither of them would let her. So she watches helplessly as the two exchange clothes.

Stan brings her into a hug. “You’ve really made my life worth living, kid.”

She hugs him as tight as she can. “Don’t talk like this is goodbye, because it’s not.” She kisses his cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Stan reminds her, he shares a quick glance and hug from his brother, then they wait.

Everything that happens next happens in a blur. Stan, dressed as Ford, agrees to help Bill and steps towards him and Ford and her and are held in bonds again. Dipper screams for Ford to stop. Her vision blurs with tears.

As soon as Bill enters Stan’s mind she kneels down and draws both of the twins close to her and watches helplessly as Ford erases Stanley’s mind.

Everything returns to the normal state it should be. Mabel rushes to Stan's side and begins to praise him, but quickly she has to be pulled back.

She pulls Mabel into a tight hug as Ford explains what happened. They all cry, then they head back to the remains of the shack. The twins hold Stan’s hands.

Her hand is held tight in Ford’s, he holds her hand back equally as tight.

They stand awkwardly in front of Stan as he sits in his chair. Mabel refuses to accept Stan is gone and begins showing him her scrapbook from the summer. To everyone's surprise, it actually starts to work. They all gather around his chair while she reads.

-----------

It’s a few days later and Stan has recovered a lot of his memory. He’s not exactly himself yet but he is on the road to recovery.

It’s late in the afternoon and she’s outside repairing the steps up to the shack when Stan finds her. She greets him with a bright smile.

“Stanley!” She beams. “How are you feeling?” She takes a break from her work and sits down.

“Hey, kid. I’m feeling pretty good.” He smiles back and sits beside her. Then he begins to rub the back of his neck.

“What’s on your mind?” She places a hand on his shoulder.

“How’d ya know?”

“You always rub your neck like that when somethings on your mind.” She reminds him.

He pulls him hand down into his lap and sighs. “Listen, I feel like before I wasn’t the best at expressing my emotions, and when I fully recover I’m probably going to be the same again.” He thinks for a second. “I wanted to let you know that besides Ford, you’re the most important person in my life. You’re my best friend and you’ve been with me through everything, despite what an ass I can be a lot of the time. I wanted to say, ya know, thanks, and I love you.”

Stan can’t look at her face to see her reaction because she pulls him into the tightest bear hug. “I know, but it feels good to hear you say it. You’re my best friend too. If it weren’t for you I wouldn’t have Ford back.” She pulls back from the hug and sits.

“And another thing… I remember when we were all taking hands back during,” he waves his hand, “Ya know… I pointed out you weren’t married to Ford yet. I did it just to hurt your feelings. I was mad that you were okay he hadn’t said thank you to us yet. You’ve always been more level headed than me, more of a peacekeeper.”

She laughs. “I guess that’s why I was the peace sign.” She jokingly throws up a peace sign with her hands. “Joking aside though, all is forgiven Stanley. I could never stay mad at you. It means a lot to hear you talk like this. I know in a few days you won’t want to have conversations like this, so it’s nice, ya know?” The two of them sit in silence as the clouds pass overhead.

----------

Miraculously the Mystery Shack is back in one piece in just a week. Just in time for Dipper and Mabel’s birthday. Ford pulls Stan aside to tell him his plan to sail around the world.

She and Ford had discussed it beforehand, and she understood the boys needed some time alone to bond. She’d be happy waiting for them both to return back home.

“What are you crazy?” Stan playfully shoved his brother. “She’s not invited?”

“Well, no, we had discussed it beforehand and she thought it would be a good idea for us to have some time to bond. As brothers. I’ll miss her of course, but-”

Stan cut his twin off. “No buts! She waited thirty year for you. I say we bring her.”

Ford laughs. “I’m happy to hear you say that. As long as she wants to be stuck in a small boat with two old men I’d be happy to bring her.”

“You do realise she is as old as us right?” Stan calls her over to where the two are talking.

Ford wraps his arm around her waist and she smiles. “Did you tell him your plan?” She beams up at him.

“I did, however,” Ford frowns, and she frowns too. She looks to Stanley for explanation.

“You must be out of your mind if you think you’re not coming with us.” Stan smirks.

“But I thought…” She looks up at Ford.

“It was Stanley’s idea, and it’s fine by me. Actually more than fine by me, lovely even.” Ford leans down to give her a kiss.

“We’re family, so I think it’d be stupid to make you wait here alone for the both of us. So you coming or what?” Stan’s smile is wide and genuine.

She lets go of Ford to pull Stan into a crushing hug. “Thank you, Stan.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Stan rolls his eyes.

Her hand reaches back towards Ford. “Get over here, I need to hug you both.” Ford chuckles but compiles.

Stan surprises everyone by announcing the closure of the Mystery Shack before giving Soos permission to run it.

She keeps close to Ford’s side as they wait for the bus to take the kids back home. Mabel grabs her hand and pulls her down to her level. “You’re the best Graunt in the whole world.”

She hugs Mabel tight and closes her eyes to stop the tears from spilling from her eyes. “You’re the best great niece and match maker in the world. Thank you for getting Ford back for me.”

Stan and Ford threaten the bus driver to let Waddles on. They all wave goodbye and run after the bus, cheering farewells.

Ford holds her close with one arm while the other wraps reassuringly around his brother. “They’ll be back next summer. Until then, let’s have an adventure.”

#waiting for you part 5 #ford pines x reader #stanford pines x reader #gravity falls reader insert #check ao3 for all tags and warnings

[ttttaehyungie]

sincerely, but no longer yours | chapter 5

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sincerely, but no longer yours | ex!kim namjoon x reader

genre | angst, smut, exes au

summary | It started as a coping mechanism as getting the words out provided a form of catharsis. But now you can’t stop writing these love letters, even with the knowledge that they’ll never get sent. After all, who writes love letters to their ex?

word count | 5.2k

chapter rating | 18+

warnings | angst, smut (but it’s angsty smut lksjdflk help), nipple play, dry humping, alcohol consumption, someee intense jealousy

a/n | FIRST OF ALL im so sorry this is so incredibly late lskjdflkjs life has been extremely busy for me 😪 but it’s here!!!! thank you to everybuddy who’s been waiting patiently for this 🤧🤧 but i think this is one of the most angsty chapters of the series soooo 🙃

Namjoon’s an expert at avoiding uncomfortable topics, even if they’re massively serious. It’s something you absolutely hated and it was the cause of many arguments in your previous relationship, and perhaps was even the ultimate cause of your breakup.

But right now, you’re really beginning to understand the appeal.

The first time he swung by the museum for lunch after his birthday celebration - a paper bag in hand filled with bagels still warm and toasty from the store on the corner that you adore - you were caught entirely off guard.

Your mind jumps to the unread messages sitting in your texts and you regret ignoring them. Not because the guilt had hit you, but because maybe if you had been contactable, you would have received a heads-up that he was coming by.

Some might call it selfish, but you prefer to call it self-preservation.

To be fair, it’s not like you were going to leave them unanswered forever. You just needed space to collect your thoughts and make sense of your confusing emotions first, lest you begin the conversation prematurely and drag Namjoon down into the dizzying depths of your current state. As it is right now, your thoughts are like nodes floating in a decontextualized void, the web still unformed because you haven’t had the time to grapple with everything yet.

But here he is, inspecting the cross-section of each bagel Soo-eun pulls out of the bag, trying to identify which is which. Yeri’s at his side, gushing about how great the bagels from this place are. The three of them are crowded around the paper bag that sits on the wooden bench, the paint peeling from the way it’s been bleached by the sun in the museum’s outdoor area. Here he is at your workplace. With your friends. You can’t ignore him now, not without rousing your friends’ suspicion.

But what you can ignore is the issue.

It’s not the time nor the place to talk about this anyway. The atmosphere is warm and light, carrying traces of last night’s celebratory mood. The lunch treat is Namjoon’s way of appreciating the surprise you guys organized for him last night. And there’s a bagel stuffed full of salty sweet ham and sticky melty cheese waiting for you to sink your teeth into. Really not the time for serious conversations at all.

So when Namjoon’s eyes search yours, all wide and probing, as you step in to grab your share, you simply smile and thank him, before slinking away to join Soo-eun on the next bench. Not too far - barely five steps away - but far enough that it gives you space to breathe. Even if Namjoon notices your attempts at escaping, he doesn’t have time to call you out on it. Not when you slyly shoot Yeri a wink. Seamlessly, she catches the cue and sits herself down on the bench, tugging at his arm. For once, you welcome Yeri flirting with Namjoon.

“Let’s eat! I’m starving,” she says.

You don’t miss the way Namjoon’s gaze flickers between you and Yeri, but you ignore it and take a generous bite of the bagel in your hands.

“Mm, so good,” you say, and turn to Soo-eun. “Don’t you miss the days before this place got really popular?”

“No, because you and Yeri insisted on going there every day. I can only ingest so many bagels a week.”

“____ hasn’t changed one bit.” Namjoon chuckles. “This time in middle school, she ate tater tots every single day for three weeks straight. She had to be banned for a week.”

“Are you weaponizing my middle school past against me?” you ask amidst your friends’ laughter. “Too bad. I don’t regret it for a second. Tater tots are too delicious to regret.”

Lunch falls back into the easy rhythm of lighthearted jibes, the kitchen debacle receding for now.

Procrastination is a real bitch of a habit to kick. As soon as one reason to put it off expires, your brain churns out another two in its place like a modern-day Hydra.

As for Namjoon? Well, you’re not surprised when he makes no moves to initiate the difficult conversation. After all, you’re adopting his bad habit.

Eventually it gets to the point where you might as well not talk about it at all. Everything’s going fine so far without it. Or as fine as it can be with this beast looming in the backdrop.

You know you need to just get this damn conversation over with. But you can’t. Not till you figure out what exactly is going on with your emotions. Without it, there’s no way you can cauterize the wounds and invalidate your excuses for what they are -- excuses.

It’s not that you haven’t tried. But it’s presenting itself as a real Herculean effort. Mulling it over has you tossing and turning in bed, only leaving you with a headache and a steadily growing desperation. It’s desperation enough that you leave the comfortable warmth of your bed to sit at your desk, shivering as you pen the familiar words once again.

Dear Namjoon,

The words flow in their usual, unrestricted manner. Before, it had been like a dam breaking, the tight restraint that was normally kept on your emotions finally released and the wave of emotions gushing out till it reached a peaceful equilibrium. But now, your emotions are just a whirlpool and your words you pen mimic its spiralling, chasing your thoughts in endless loops.

You’re not over him. But so what? It’s not like getting together is an option. Not when he hasn’t grown out of one of the major things that caused the end of your previous relationship. And not when you haven’t even talked that out, if you ever will.

So what can you do now? Kicking him out of your life will mean having to deal with the loss that his absence will bring again. Going back to pretending the other doesn’t exist will mean dancing around each other again every time you bump into each other in this too small city. And with the way your social circles are intertwined now, that would mean a bunch of explaining to do.

But having him close yet holding him at arm’s length? Walking the narrow margin that is being friends with your ex? A misstep in either direction would be torturous but inevitable - too close and it’s alarming, but too far and it’s a painful reminder that he’s not yours.

Far from the illuminating effect you were hoping it would have, your letter to Namjoon only leaves you deeper in confusion. You throw your pen down. Giving up, you fold the paper up. Sealing the letter in an envelope doesn’t bring the same sense of relief it did before. The Hydra remains unslain.

And so the problem gets shoved away - the same treatment the letter gets as it’s roughly tossed into the desk drawer - into the same corner of the recesses of your mind that your breakup resides in.

You know that Namjoon’s confused. Heck, you are too. It’s a strange dance the two of you are involved in, caught between the compulsion to continue yet knowing the risks it bears. Neither of you are bold enough to take the lead. And so this strange stasis drags on as it has for weeks now.

It’s as if the kiss unearthed something in him. Actually no, it’s unearthed something in both of you. And the tension - the fucking tension - is unreal. The tells are so obvious that you wonder how neither Yeri nor Soo-eun have said anything about it yet. There’s certainly no subtlety in the way his eyes linger on your lips in the middle of conversations that you wonder if he’s even aware he’s doing it.

And when it’s just the two of you? It’s infinitely worse.

It’s hard to blame him. Touch has always been your love language and Namjoon knows it. Physical touch wasn’t just a thing of your previous two-year relationship. It was a thing of your decades of friendship too, the little touches so casual and almost subconscious. Rekindling your friendship without them had taken intentional effort.

You’re not sure who started it. Maybe both of you just fell back into it, the casual little touches slipping their way back in. But what’s not casual at all is the way your heartbeat goes erratic at the most simple of gestures. The way he blithely sweeps the crumbs from your lunch off your lap. The slightly too long side-hug he holds you in, the warmth of his arm around you permeating through the layers you wear and has you simultaneously freezing up while also turning your insides to goo. But it isn’t overtly romantic either.

At least, that’s the excuse you give yourself when the comfort of his touch gets too tempting and you end up succumbing to it. The familiarity of it all makes you feel like you’ve finally arrived home. As if you’ve been on this long, arduous journey and you’re finally here. You get to drop the heavy backpack and rest now.

But the voice of rationality in you tells you this wrong wrong wrong. You’ve got to get out of here.

And that’s how you end up here. White-knuckled grip tight on the edges of the sink as you stare yourself dead in the eyes in the bathroom mirror. The music outside thumps away albeit muted through the door to the ladies’. But the way your heart thumps has nothing to do with that.

Even without shifting your gaze, you can tell that your cheeks are slightly reddened and warm. You can feel it tingling. No, you don’t shift your gaze. It stays fixed on the intense stare that your reflection throws back at you like a challenge, the ferocity of it enhanced by the sharp eyeliner you’re wearing tonight, an uncharacteristic look for you.

Heck, this whole night is uncharacteristic.

You could take the easy route and blame it on Yeri. God knows she can be real persuasive - it’s why she’s excellent at her job. So getting you all out to the club on a Friday night to celebrate nothing other than the simple joy that - c’mon guys, we’re all young and alive and free and tell me that’s not worth celebrating and I’ll fucking fistfight you right here and now even with my freshly manicured nails - is no feat for her.

Still, no one really expected your simple reply, tone nonchalant and eyes still glued to your work screen, “Yeah, I could use a night out.”

Soo-eun had remained silent but you could feel her stiffen slightly beside you. Yeri had been surprised too but more elated that she didn’t have to get through your usual ten solid minutes of whining and half-baked attempts at slithering your way out of it.

But back to the present. Your bodycon dress - one of the rare pieces that survived not just your college partying days but also the wardrobe purge that occurred when you had to downsize everything to fit into the tiny apartment that’s quintessential to city-living - expands with your chest as you take a deep breath. Gripping the hem where it sits mid-thigh, you yank it down slightly. It’s been a while since you’ve worn this dress. And while the younger, more risque version of you that was your college self had been enthralled by the daringness of the dress, your current self has to dig deep to muster up that same boldness.

Relenting as you realize that this is the limit to how much you can stretch the length of your dress, you let go and your fingertips unintentionally brush your thigh as it falls back to your side. It elicits a shudder, the sensation of your own fingers too close to the electrifying feeling of someone’s thumb skimming across it. It was electrifying enough that your brain finally powered up again, voice of rationality sending you skedaddling away, out of reach of his touch, and pathetically seeking refuge in the washroom.

You roll your shoulders back and shake your head, dispelling the thoughts. Standing upright, you look yourself in the eye again. You can do this. You’re going to go out there, and you’re going to have a good time with your friends. You’re going to have a good time with Namjoon. With a nod of affirmation, you turn and saunter your way back to the club with a confidence that has your chin firmly tipped upwards.

You push the door open and look for your friends. The sight that greets you immediately punctures your confidence and your steady posture falls limp.

It’s hard to miss her silvery dress - the dress you knew she would wear and the dress that your very own was meant to counter. It catches the light and grabs attention. And at this moment, it grabs your attention so you can witness Yeri standing between Namjoon’s manspread thighs as he’s perched on the barstool, her hands all over him.

Whatever puffed up confidence you’d had is knocked out of you with that sucker punch of a sight. You turn away, needing to look anywhere but at them.

And that’s when your line of sight falls on a curly-haired man, oddly familiar, and apparently someone you know since he’s waving to you.

“____, hey!” he yells over the music.

“Dong-In?”

He nods and smiles at you. “It’s been a while.”

“Wait.” You gasp. “I was supposed to get back to you on brunch, wasn’t I?” Damn. You’ve been so wrapped up with Namjoon that you totally forgot about Dong-In. “I’m so sorry, I’ve been really caught up with things.”

“It’s no biggie.” He shrugs boyishly. “The exhibition, right?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Sure, the exhibition. Let’s go with that.

“And nothing to do with…” he directs his gaze - and yours along with it - to none other than Namjoon who’s now drinking with Yeri.

Your gaze snaps back to Dong-In and his cheshire grin.

“Nah,” you feign a laugh. “He’s just a friend.”

“The hand he had on you sure didn’t look like just friends.”

“I said we’re just friends,” you snap, then gasp, taken aback by your own outburst. “Fuck, I’m sorry.”

“Nah, I should be the one apologizing. I hit a nerve there, didn’t I. D’you wanna talk about it?” His voice is warm and mellow and oh so inviting. And you very nearly give in.

But you can’t pull him into your problems. It’s not his burden to bear.

“Not really. But thanks, Dong-In.”

“That’s cool.” He nods, and relief fills you. This is what you’ve always liked about Dong-In. He’s chill. “Well since we’re here, wanna get buzzed?”

You laugh. “I won’t say no to that.”

The bar isn’t too far from where you are, and it doesn’t take long before the burn of alcohol is sliding down your throat. Picking up the conversation again, you have to admit, you’d forgotten how easy it is to talk to Dong-In. He’s got that effortless charisma and an easy sense of humor that you can vibe with. Things are simple with him. There’s no line to be tiptoed. Flirting - now that you’re no longer obtuse and you’re finally aware that he is indeed flirting with you - isn’t accompanied by guilt or fear.

And after weeks of this complicated situation with Namjoon, simplicity is what you crave.

“Hey, do you wanna dance?” you ask suddenly. Surprise colors his features for a moment but he laughs it off.

“Is the conversation boring you? You could have just told me to shut up if you wanted me to,” he jokes.

“No!” You laugh. “There’s just a good beat going and-”

“I’m just kidding. I’d love to.” He smiles and grabs your hand.

The two of you weave your way through the mass of gyrating bodies. Lightly buzzed, the fog and the strobe lights blurring everything around you other than your dance partner, you finally find the courage you’ve been searching for this whole time. Dong-In hasn’t been very subtle about checking you out all night, and it gives you that extra boost of confidence that’s finally quelled the antsy thoughts and calmed the fidgety adjustments to your dress’s hemline.

So when his hands find your waist, you step in a little closer and run your hands through your hair, shaking it out and finally letting loose as your hips rock to the pounding beat. Dancing with Dong-In is much like conversing with him- easy and simple fun with just the slightest tinge of excitement. As your hips sway together in languid synchrony, you catch a whiff of the slightly intoxicating combination of his cologne and the undertones of his own natural scent. You give in to the giddying sensation of his hands running lightly over your body and press in closer, eyes fluttering shut, and just feeling. It’s thrilling. It’s risque. It’s-

A solid grip on your wrist yanks you forward and stumbling into a hard chest.

His voice is gruff as he bites out his words, “Get your hands off her.”

“Namjoon?” you gape.

“We’re leaving.” His eyes fix on yours, steely and piercing. A shiver runs down your spine - in all your years of knowing him, you’ve never seen him like this. He tugs on your wrist once more. “Now.”

Dazed by this brand new persona, you don’t even get to say goodbye to Dong-In, just pulled along by the force that is a quietly fuming Namjoon. Everything happens so quickly that it’s all a blur until you’re in the Uber with him, silently clutching onto your purse as an anchor in this sudden whirlwind of events. The anger emanates off of him even in the dimly lit backseat.

“What the fuck?” you whisper, but the shock diminishes the level of conviction in your voice.

He turns to you, the same hardness still in his gaze. “I should be the one asking that.”

“What?!” you snap. In your peripheral vision, you see the Uber driver jump slightly. Lowering your tone, you hiss, “What gives you the right?”

“What gives me the right?” he echoes incredulously, scoffing and turning away from you to face forward instead as he rolls his eyes. “This is ridiculous.”

The car slows to a stop and you recognize your apartment building. You scramble to get away from him. But it seems your confrontation is far from over. Namjoon unbuckles his own seatbelt to follow you.

Terse silence sits between you, the aggravated stomping of your feet as you climb the stairs the only thing that fills the sound.

You turn sharply round the corner, stalking off to your apartment door. “You don’t have to escort me y’know, I’m perfectly capable of getting home by myself.”

“Really?” He folds his arms and leans on the wall next to your door. “It’s hard to trust you when you go off getting drunk and throwing yourself at a random stranger in the club.”

“Is that what the problem is?” You finally ram the key in, and the click as it unlocks is as harsh as your tone. “Sorry to break it to you, but I have a life apart from you. He’s no stranger. His name is Dong-In, he’s Yeri’s friend, and he’s a great guy.”

You shove the door open. Your heels get kicked off and left haphazardly at the entryway, shoe cabinet ignored.

“Wow, some great guy he is,” Namjoon slams the door shut and his shoes get discarded off his feet in the same fashion, “drunkenly feeling you up in a club.”

“Fuck!” You turn, wringing your hands in your hair. Your glares rival each other. “You say it as if I was strung along by him. Well I wasn’t. I initiated it.”

His glare flickers for a moment. He stays silent.

“Just admit that you’re jealous,” you whisper. You unsling your purse and dump it on top of the shoe cabinet, never breaking eye contact.

“Fine.” Namjoon’s gaze doesn’t waver. “I am.”

He skulks forward and traps you between him and the cabinet, gaze holding yours. Namjoon’s always towered over you, but at the moment it isn’t his height that makes you feel tiny.

“Watching his hands all over you like this,” Namjoon’s hands slowly skim the back of your thighs and up your sides and you bite back a whimper, “makes me jealous.”

“And watching you respond like this?” He continues as a firm hand presses the small of your back to close the gap between your torsos. “Glued to him like this? It makes me jealous.”

“You don’t own me,” you whisper but it only elicits a sardonic laugh from him.

“You say that, but you know damn well that’s not the truth. Tell me. Are you jealous?”

“What would I-”

“Yeri.” Damn. Straight through the bullshit. With an eyebrow cocked, it’s obvious he knows the answer and he’s not budging, not even an inch.

“Yes,” you admit quietly. “I’m jealous.”

“Silly girl.” He traces the hemline of your dress. “I only want you.”

A soft keening noise spills out of you. “I’m so sick of holding back.” You tug on his dress shirt, and the feel of his plush lips finally, finally meeting yours snips the final frayed cords of self-restraint you possessed.

Namjoon is quick to reciprocate, and you moan as his tongue licks at your bottom lip. Hooking your arms around his neck, you pull him closer, needing nothing else but to have him close after all this time of distance. He hoists you up, and your legs circle his waist to aid him. The world around you sets into motion as he walks you to your bed, and you anchor yourself by pressing kisses to his neck.

With how tiny your apartment is, it takes no time for him to carry you from the entryway to your bedroom. The cool sensation of your unmade sheets envelops you as he lowers you down onto the bed. He barely gets a moment to appreciate the sight of you, hair mussed and lipstick smudged, lounging on the bed and waiting for him. Desperate for his touch and running out of patience, you gesture to the zip on the side of your dress. Hurrying, he pulls the zipper down as you tug your arms out of the thin straps of the garment. You sit up and let the torso of the dress fall to bunch up at your waist, revealing your bare chest to him.

The quiet gasp that escapes him as he beholds you is infinitely flattering. It’s but a momentary pause. He dives forward into action again. An arm looped around your back to support you as your chest arches upwards, he crouches over you to take one perked-up tit into the heat of his mouth, his free hand coming up to toy with the other. His tongue laves over your nipple in a slippery flick. The other gets pinched and rolled, leaving you gasping at the delicious sensations.

“Namjoon,” you moan out breathily, and it only eggs him on. You whimper as he begins sucking on the bud and wetness pools between your thighs. Your fingernails rake down his back, muted through the layer of his dress shirt.

“M-more,” you plead. He releases your breast and moves his mouth upwards, trailing gentle pecks till he kisses along the length of your collarbone.

“Come here,” he commands, his words breathy and hot as they puff against the thin skin of your clavicle. He scoots back to lean against the headboard, and you follow hastily.

You clamber on top of him, knees bent and straddling his lap as he helps you hike the skirt of your dress up. But before you seat yourself atop the prominent bulge in the lightwash denim of his jeans, he holds you still with a firm grasp on your hip.

His thumb trails the lace detail of your panties, the patterns snaking across your hip bone, baby pink like your dress.

“Gorgeous,” he mumbles. His fingers wander to your clothed core, the material slightly sheer from the damp spot of your arousal. He strokes it tenderly with the pad of his finger, so light that it has you quivering as you hover above him.

His fingernail grazes your slit through the wet material and a gasp catches in your throat. You clench around nothing as carnal desire throbs through your core.

“Namjoon, please,” you whine.

Finally, he gives in to you and pulls you down. Your laced core meets his rough denim-clad one. The stiff material of his jeans pokes through the delicate fabric of your underwear, the friction rough as he drags you over his clothed bulge. The burn is delicious. His hands on you set a slow but steady rhythm that you follow easily, canting your hips in time. It’s enrapturing to watch the way you grind on one another, your clit rubbing up on the apex of his bulge in mutual pleasure.

A finger tips your chin up from the sight you were fixated on.

“Eyes on me.”

It’s difficult. Pleasure has your eyes drooping shut. But the intensity of his gaze compellingly holds yours and you manage, even if barely. His expression is stoic, and it’s only the twitch of his dick that betrays how affected he is. You, on the other hand, are completely abandoned to pleasure. Hands scrabbling across his upper back and up until they settle themselves as fists gripping tufts of his hair, teeth clamped on your bottom lip as moans spill out of you at increasing frequency as your pleasure climbs and climbs and climbs until-

Burrowing your face into the side of his neck, you pant as you cross the peak. Hips now stilled, your climax has you throbbing against his hardened member. You cling onto him with your arms around his neck as you free-fall in the subsiding pleasure. Bare chest brushing against the smooth material of his dress shirt, you catch your breath and yield to the moment.

“Shit,” he mutters. “Shit.” Louder this time. “Shit, shit, shit.”

The regret in his words yank you out of the heady fog of lust. There’s no time to bask in the afterglow. Reality comes crashing down hard and mercilessly.

Suddenly, you feel so small and so exposed. You read his regret as rejection. Your nudity and previous salacious actions make you feel stupid.

Namjoon attempts to extricate your arms from around him, but shame has you clutching to him tighter, hiding your face in his neck. You can still feel him under you, but it’s now an uncomfortable reminder of the act you just committed.

“Hey,” his voice is gentle now, pleading, “look at me? Please?”

You refuse. It’s impossible to look him in the eye right now.

“Fuck.” Even whispered, the panic laced in his tone is blatant. Gently, he maneuvers both of you to turn over. Feeling the mattress underneath you as you’re laid on your back, you release your hold on him and swiftly turn and tug your blanket up to hide away from him.

“____.” He tries. You grip the sheets even tighter as you feel him trying to pull it away from your face. “Please.”

Embarrassment. Guilt. Mortification. They overtake you and you curl in on yourself. You just want to disappear.

“____,” he tries again, hand stroking your head. But you don’t allow yourself to succumb to its comfort. “Talk to me. Please.”

Oh, now he wants to talk.

Why couldn’t you have just talked things out earlier? Why only now when things have fallen apart? Why now when you’ve just done something so stupid and so reckless?

Why now when it’s too late? What can talking possibly do to fix this now?

His pleas are met with silence.

“I’m gonna get you some water,” he says resignedly.

More silence. He sighs. You feel the mattress shift as he gets up. From where you’re still hiding in the stuffy darkness underneath your blanket, you hear his footsteps return and the muted thud of the glass getting placed on your bedside table.

The silence returns, but you can feel his presence. You imagine he’s staring at your blanket lump on the bed.

Finally, the heavy quietness is broken with a deep breath, and you hear him say softly, “Get a good night’s rest, okay? Let’s talk about this tomorrow.”

The light clicks off and you’re plunged into lonely pitch-black darkness. In the distance, you hear the heavy opening and closing of your front door as Namjoon leaves.

Unearthing yourself to the coolness of the night, your dress an uncomfortable lump around your waist, your breasts slightly sore from his previous ministrations, you stare up at the ceiling as hot tears leak out.

It’s well into the afternoon by the time you drag yourself out of bed the next day. Sleep came intermittently and was far from restful, but waking up meant facing the nightmarish reality of what had transpired. So you hid under the covers for as long as you could. But you know you can’t stay there forever.

The buzzing notifications of your phone had woken you up on more than one occasion in the night. But you ignore it and leave your phone next to the glass of water - still untouched - in favor of washing up. It’s more pressing anyway, you surmise. You can feel your make-up, now icky and caked on your face. It’s awful. Your skin is probably revolting against you now and you don’t even want to think about the mess it probably left on your pillowcase. But last night, you were simply paralyzed by the weight of what you’d done, crying till sleep finally came for you.

You take your time going through an extensive skincare routine, even busting out the clay mask you had impulsively bought together with Yeri when it was on discount. You’re doing it because your skin needs the pampering and definitely not because you’re procrastinating getting to your phone.

But there’s only so many steps you can do with the limited skincare products in your apartment. And you know your friends are probably worried about your abrupt disappearance last night. Getting to those messages first, you quickly assure Soo-eun and Yeri that you’re safe at home. Looking at the remaining notifications, you sigh.

Missed calls Namjoon (8)

7 unread messages from 2 chats Namjoon: are you still sleeping? Namjoon: hey, you still asleep? Namjoon: text me when you’re up please? Namjoon: are you awake?

Dong-In: hey! Dong-In: not sure what exactly happened at the end there haha, but it was rly great seeing u again. Dong-In: i’m still waiting on that brunch reschedule, by the way.

Memories from last night come back to you. Dong-In runs his hands through his curls, an easy grin on his face as he leans in to listen to you over the loud music of the club. Things are simple with Dong-In. And, standing on the precipice of a mental spiral whenever you think of Namjoon, the same craving for simplicity from last night returns.

[2:06pm] ____: well it’s a little late for brunch right now

[2:06pm] ____: but you still up to grab a bite?

#btswriterscollective #btswritingcafe #ficswithluv #bangtanhq #bangtanfairygarden #bangtanarmynet #btsbookclub #btsguild #bts fic #bts series #bts angst #bts smut #bts exes au #bts x reader #namjoon x reader #namjoon series #namjoon angst #namjoon smut #namjoon exes au #namjoon fic #knj fic #knj series #knj angst #knj smut #knj exes au #knj x reader

[malreginamills]

My Take OUAT Villains Part 1

Regina - An intimidating personality with softer side and capability of empathy and selflessness . She was a fine mom before Henry started to see that she was a mean boss of the town . Then she became more strict with him BUT when fairytale stuff came to play , she became a  bad parent and she almost became her mom when her magic returned before she realised that she has done too much evil  .  He was not a good son either . As EQ , she was a  feared villain with max body count ONSCREEN not OFFSCREEN . I assume that there may be only few who outdid her .  She has a life full of crap and is a pawn of others all the time before she  came back to being a hero . She is a better hero than Emma and as good as Snowing .  She is only villain who used to be a hero .Regina as a hero is even more dangerous adversary than EQ . Unlike other villains , she and Rumple did true to resist temptation for evil  until Rumple himself made things worse . As a villain , she is delusional . She is  the most scary of them all but there can be villains as bad as her or WORSE  . She has crossed many lines BUT if there are some lines she won’t cross . I doubt she would like to have a child with David to piss Snow .

Rumple - A complicated guy whose favorite passtime is creating villains out of his students . He was a coward BUT he was also a father . He is incredibly selfish and makes big plans  when he can achieve his goal by smaller plans as well , a trait also seen in his students . He was a teacher of Regina for a longer time and made sure of the fact that she became a monster . WEmmaonce said about WRumple that he may be razing villages so , it is safe to say WRumple did stuff like that in the past since I doubt he would be razing villages in lockup  for 30 years . If WRumple did that so , it means real Rumple also did it . I doubt Rumple raped people BUT he  tricked them  . I think he stopped mass murder when  Belle was around but continued with being a trickster  and mastermind . He was relatively saner than Regina sometimes since he used brains more than she did as a villain . As a hero Regina was the saner one .  I think that Charmings were too nice to him in S2 and too mean to Regina in S2 . In S4 , they were really nasty to him BUT they were not heroes nor villains that season . He became likeable in S6B AND S7 . He did have lesser pain than Regina since spinsters were actually  nice guardians  to him and he was not always that much troubled  and tortured

Cora- Deliciously evil woman who cares for her daughter BUT her morals warped with Rumple's shadiness is what  is really what turned Regina evil . She made her daughter's life way worse than hers and Rumple's . She scared the hell out of me BUT I was sad when she died . UW Cora was more likeable .  I remember her as a redeemed villain than a hero.  She was more cunning than Regina and as cunning than Rumple . If she lived longer than Rumple , she would have been worse .  Also S3 shows her daughter Regina as her own antihesis .  She is literally heartless and sees love as weakness . Voldemort anyone ?

Hook - He was fine in S2 and WHook was likeable in S7 BUT from S3-7 , org Hook was all about Emma and CS . He lived longer than Regina , Cora and Zelena so , he should be as bad or worse BUT they whitewashed him SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH that even Snow's half heart had more darkness than that in S3 and in S6 . He himself talked about destroying villages in his song  and it shows that he is as bad as the Mills ladies . He likely was into rape and he had many one night stands that even Regina would be aghast .  Also his revenge is not justified or reasonable and it makes Cora look justified in hating Eva and Regina reasonable for hating Snow. It was he who separated Rumple and Milah and then in S5-6 he acted that Rumple was worse . Regina had really good reason to loathe Rumple  yet it never looked like that she was in mood to dance on his grave since she believed that life is precious .  He was also a homewrecker .  I think that he is worse than Rumple and can be as bad as Cora . His DO self showed us his true evilness . At least Regina would be trying to restrain herself from all that  DOness .   He did not take time to become a  full fledged villain as compared to Regina , Cora  and  Rumple .  It took him seconds to do that .  He was definitely done dirty in later seasons . I still love HOOK’ s past self more . 

Greg and Tamara - WHY ? They are foreigners  . They do not make sense to me  . Other villains have done way more evil  than they can dream of though they were almost  about to commit mass murder  BUT they are delusional .

Pan - IDK how many he killed, how much evil he did  BUT apparently , he  must have done a lot of that . Even Hook finds him demonaic and treacherous (although he did the same for Rumple ) . He was more twisted than all the others  mentioned before .  He utterly lacks any decency . He seems to be vain , self seeking  , power hungry  , immortality loving , uncaring , callous person  . If he succeeded , even Cora and Hook would  look  tame and humane .He is a  narcissist . Its like Disney Mother Gothel , Disney Ursula and our  Rumple together as one person . He was not only an evil power seeking overlord like Rumple and Cora but also he  was sick  and awful . He was both terrifying and terrible .  It was the best  culmination of fairytale evil with real life evil .

 Zelena - She makes me like Pan sometimes . At least Pan , Cora , Regina , Rumple and Hook did not start the system of brands . According to her  villainy needs to be branded like footwear and clothes . She  is  awfully competitive. In fandom she aroused a need of debating on who is more powerful . Every time she boasts  about being more powerful , she needs to be punched on her face . OMG Regina literally did that .  She branded herself as wicked and branded her sister as evil . She  does not terrify me BUT she is perhaps the most devious one of all . For someone who has undergone pain , she sounds like a spoilt brat  who whines like all the time . Everytime Regina is tired of her life problems , it looks like that she is in pain . In S2  Regina did a lot of whinning BUT she did not sound like this  sick brat . Regina did seem like someone who has undergone a lot of crap  .  I think that Zelena as a spoilt princess of Oz who was pissed about her true heritage  and ditched her adoptive family and killed them would make more sense and would do justice to her S3-5A personality . In 5B-7 , her softer side was apparently a bit forced and so was her new relationship with Regina but it was more true to her backstory  and her S3-5A self BUT it was like having Regina in earlier seasons back sometimes .  Her  WWW wardrobe should beas good as EQ’s . She should also have more hairstyles as WWW . I think that Zelena is also arrogant and narcissistic as compared to anyone else . She is incredibly self obsessed .   Regina was a mass murderer and rapist  . Rumple was self serving , selfish and power hungry  magic addict . Hook was a s*x addict  and a mass murderer   . Cora was a power loving mass murderer and a heartless .  Pan was relatively less self obsessed .  Quite many seem to come from a sadder place BUT she looks life she came from a posh life . Even young Snow and young Eva were not that bratty even though they are actual brats . Her rape of Robin to have a child with him to piss Regina shows how twisted she is . She also feels like an awkward addition since   she has never said the iconic villainous line , “LOVE IS WEAKNESS .”  She tries to outdo REGINA so , she must have tried to be more evil  and she must have killed even more since she is like Regina killed 1 guy , I would kill 10 . 

Ingrid - A short term villain but she was basically another Regina . She was also xenophobic towards muggles due to her bad experiences but later , she came to her senses . She was an unintentional succcessful attempt at making another  EQ and Cora . I wish she stayed longer . We also got a dark Elsa . Her subtelty  was awesome  . She was basically my fav beside Rumple , Regina and Cora .  I still wish if Regina was one of the people she wanted as a sister along with Emma since I do not want  Emma to be left behind either . She is way better than Zelena . I think she should be nicer to memory of Helga at least . 

Maleficent - We heard things about her more than we actually saw her do stuff .  Since Regina has more  some traits of Org Maleficent than her .  Kristen did a fine job with her and did make her scary in the way Mitchel made Ingrid scary . BUT I never saw her interrupting gatherings . Regina did that one .  I never saw her  plotting and being cruel . I never got the mistress of Evil . I never saw the woman she really was  when it came to Briar Rose. What was her foul temper like ? She was redeemed quickly .  I think I was better off with one redeemed Maleficent and now there were 2 of them  .  I wanted her evil at larger scale .  Maleficent did show some wickedness in S4 and it was awesome  BUT I think I preferred REGINA , CORA , HOOK , RUMPLE  , INGRID and even ZELENA level villainy  . Maleficent , these are the experts  .   Maleficent was  more a victim than a villain . Most of others were both . She may be a fine chracter BUT she was a poor villain . 

Ursula - Don’t ask . She hardly came in before she went away . 

Cruella- This is a good villain . Only born EVIL person besides Pan before 6*19 came up . She is better than Zelena and Maleficent  combined . I would love to see Cruella at her worst . I think this character demanded to be explored more .  She does not have standards at all . She tries her best to be the evilest  and can succeed . No wonder Issac had to stop her .  We can only imagine that her villainy would be the worst of worst . 

Issac - He is soo sick and awful . Can’t say anything more . He is rebirth of Greg and Tamara who are just meh . 

Dark Swan - What is this monstrosity ? I would prefer Zelena  and Maleficent over this . Apparently , I think “Black Swan” would be better  than what this name is  . And also , we all hoped that Emma would dabble into some Cora , Rumple , Regina , Past HOOK and Ingrid level EVIL and have a maniacal laugh .  We may have had EQ back . It would be good to see Snowing’s faces when Emma becomes New EQ . We wanted mental issues , rage problems , broken heart , betrayal problems , trust issues , past issues  driving her mad . Trying to convince WickedGoldenHookedQueen to join her in her delicious rampage with only Zelena joining her . Zelena the brat and Black Swan a psycho  teaming up  . BUT instead we got an unhealthily obsessed woman who got Robin Hood killed unintentionally . SHE MADE DARK HOOK .  She caused mayhem in Camelot and Storybrooke just because of Hook ? If it was really her , she would have let Hook die instead of making him DO .And after she stops being Dark Swan ,she drags her family to UW ? What is this ? High level character assasination . OH WAIT , Emma’s potential for darkness , her capacity to be Evil lies with Lily . Why they made her Darknessless . It makes sense that she is not that evil  . I think this should be resolved .  In my headcannon , she got the potential for evil back when she was sent to WR since In WR Cruella never left  so ,  WR Maleficent never lost Lily so , WR Emma still has darkness . If they continuede , we could have had Evil Emma back . For now , Dark Swan is terrible , not terrifying . I find her name Emma ironical now since she is not whole .

#regina mills #mr gold #rumplestiltskin #evil queen regina #cora mills #peter pan #malcolm #greg and tamara #anti zelena #anti dark swan #anti maleficent #anti I am Maleficent with standards #ingrid #anti whiney brats #anti emma has no darkness #cruella #anti greg and tamara #anti ursula #anti Hades #anti character assassination #OUAT villains

[seasonsreads]

Scarlet Heart Ryeo's Unsatisfactory ending

A tirade about that ending of Scarlet Heart Ryeo excerpted from my Notes, basically just a huge chunk of thoughts.

The saddest thing about the ending was that in my opinion Wang So deserved better. He was outcast and bullied his entire life. He fought for justice in the Palace, protecting King Moo, and then serving King Yo until King Yo died. Then he put himself in the throne to avoid further squabble. He didn't have a hand in plotting his brothers deaths. And when he had to put Hae Soo's friend to death, it was because she committed heinous treason over the past 7 years and tricked Hae Soo the whole time.

It was Hae Soo's selfishness that expected the people she loved to be special and above the law. Even Wook, who connived the death of two of the brothers, and was plotting Wang So's downfall, she begged for his freedom because of her personal connection to him (which she never had the decency to inform So of either) anyone else in that position wouldn't have the same relief. The show portrayed her vouching for them as her honest nature but really it was selfish and presumptuous of her to expect her favoured people to go unpunished. She also wasn't thinking of What Wang So needed to do to consolidate his power as King and avoid future problems, she put her feelings and everyone's obsessesions with her above that.

So was right in those decisions to punish those who not only threatened his power but literally killed two of his brothers. But it made selfish Hae Soo hate and leave him. Even after that Jung mislead So to believe he had an intimate relationship with Hae Soo so soon after she had left him, breaking his heart, and then even wrote over the envelopes so that Wang So would not read Hae Soo's letters, I understand he had no ill intention with that, but his reasoning made no sense to me. So what if her handwriting was similar to the King's, doesn't mean he wouldn't read it or recognise it as Hae Soo's. This meant Hae Soo passed away without So's knowledge. Jung is one of the only other good characters in the series, but his those final decisions were stupid and you have to think how good he really was.

And on top of that Hae Soo kept the identity and existence of Wang So's child hidden from him, and would have kept it that way if they didn't have a chance encounter in the end. Yes, the Palace was a terrible horrible place for no child to grow up in, and So was aware of that, Hae Soo didn't even write in her letters her final wish of the child to be raised by Jung away from the Palace, as her death wish So would have respected it, she didn't even ask Jung to inform him of this. Out of all the big players in the story So really was the most noble. And the story seems to frame Hae Soo's decision as completely unproblematic, as well as Jung's compliance with what she wanted just because she was pretty.

We are made to believe that So had become a blood thirsty King after killing Chae Ryung and punishing Wook. When he literally wasn't. The only times we saw him slip was when Wook (and others who had connived the death of his two brothers) threatened his power. That is what made the ending even more tragic and unsatisfactory. After Hae Soo's death, So lived another 25years alone. And although that is true to history, the part where he didn't take more wives, in terms of this Story itself is incredibly sad. In the final scenes Hae Soo says "I'm sorry I left you all alone" and starts sobbing. And I hope she's sorry for more than that, she should be sorry for being selfish and full of herself til the end. The only reason all her other actions with the other brothers are forgivable is because she did change the outcome of So's rulership with her involvement. Although she didn't do it with an ounce autonomy and just reacted badly to everything that happened.

I know wanting a final scene where Hae Soo and So meet again in the modern world would seem cliche, but after the disrespect done to Wang So's character it's the least we could expect. Idc if they were trying to fit a particular tone with that ending. Some tragic endings completely befit the end of a story, but after being told one thing about the characters through dialogue but Shown something else in the actual storyline means that the writers failed somewhere along the way. Hopefully the actors will do a cute romcom in the future and we can pretend it's their second chance.

--------

Note*: also had another thought. The writers drove home the idea that Hae Soo was this unproblematic angel that all the characters rightly fell in love with by depicting the fact that their lives completely revolved around her. After she died Jung, although being years younger than her and already having sacrificed a real love and marraige to take care of her for years, he doesn't move on and find someone new, and even if he did omitting that to show his devotion to Hae Soo was annoying. Basically all the brothers are obsessed with her and she is so amazing that they are willing to live the rest of their lives alone. And in the end she was the most self serving and uninteresting character anyway!

Someone said the best thing about the show was that it didn't have the expectations of other narratives, it just was, like Life, people are messy and selfish and idolize things and people that should not be idolised. My only problem was that Hae Soo's character was adorned til the end, and Wang So was not. That the writers tried to make us believe something about the characters that they clearly were not. There's another YA series I read when I was younger, in that book all the characters always spoke about how fiery and unpredictable the protagonist was, but me and my friend would just rant about how this supposed fiery nature of hers was hardly depicted at all. And if it was, it was some measly example and nothing that really affected the plot. Hate when writers do that! 👎✌️

#Scarlet heart ryeo #Wang So #Hae Soo #Kdrama

[crackinwise]

I wanted to love Over The Moon because Glen Keane and Phillipa Soo, and omg the animation is glorious and the voice acting/singing is perfect, and i’m very ignorant about Chinese folklore but the story is very sweet and interesting. 

[SPOILERS and rant going forward] But it was kinda full of holes and missing motivation and rushed relationships. 

Part of it is the bad taste in my mouth from the father never considering Fei’s feelings. He just springs this new woman on her to meet without telling her anything. Like, he’s not even starting to date this woman, he’s about to marry her, and this is the first Fei ever hears of it. He can’t even tell Fei himself what’s happening, the woman’s son has to blab it. I don’t know Chinese family dynamics but it’s incredibly selfish. “Don’t you ever get lonely?” She’s a child who lost her mother and has YOU, idiot. Also i’m aroace so i never understood the “i’m lonely” excuse, and that’s my own failing.

Mostly tho it’s the holes or details skipped over. I know it’s for kids but i’ve seen plot explanations in kid’s media before. (And oddly almost every song felt like it used existing music? Was that only me? I can’t place the existing songs but at the very least the first Chang’e song sounds like the opener from the musical Six.) 

The woman Ba Ba is going to marry drops that she’s descended from Houyi once, then gives Fei a mooncake with (secretly) Houyi’s half of a necklace inside for zero reason. It turns out that’s what Chang’e needs, but she doesn’t know that. What’s her reasoning as she knows it? Like even if it’s just a family heirloom, why not pass it to her own son? And afaik she never asks about it when it’s gone? Did she know Fei was going to the moon? Did Fei and Chin hallucinate and imagine the whole thing? Then where did the rabbit Bungee really go? 

I still have no idea if this kid actually sling-shot’ed herself to the moon using only magnets and a highspeed train rail or if the rest of the film is really her just in a coma. You’d think there would be new safety regulations or a scholarship as a consequence of all that. Knowing both kids would be dead smears on the ground if a moonbeam didn’t grab them is super dark.

Fei’s sudden realization she loves and should be a sister to Chin cuz she hung upside down and played leapfrog like he did is...odd. I didn’t get it. They had zero bonding experiences the entire movie besides him being annoying af and ruining things, but suddenly it’s “love my new bro!” Scenes and motivation is missing, yo. 

And don’t get me started on Bungee. Bungee is not only Fei’s pet she cherishes and takes everywhere, but it was a last gift from her dead mother. And she just....leaves it on the moon. Because Bungee got a 2min interaction with the Jade Rabbit and fell in love, i guess. Bungee was even going to go home with Fei but Fei goes “naw, you have a new life now.” THEY’VE BEEN ON THE MOON FOR LIKE AN HOUR. WHAT NEW LIFE? It seems like it was a metaphor for “letting her mom go” but WTF does that have to do with your pet?! The FUCK happens if Bungee misses Fei and home? How will Fei know when Bungee dies? TAKE YOUR RABBIT HOME, YA STUPID. Haaaaaaate so much. It’s such a pet peeve of mine when animals get left behind for a character’s one-dimensional “growth” or flimsy reason. Spare me.

Seriously, i watched this like 2 weeks ago and i’m still pissed when i think about Bungee. Help me.

#netflix over the moon #reviews no one asked for #rant #phillipa soo's voooiiiiice omg

[heyymonkey2]

First Night Back in Fuuga Chapter 14: Heat of the Night

Out of all the chapters of this fic -- even if you haven’t read a single other one -- you miiiight want to read this one. If you like explicit, hot love scenes.

Ao3 Link

Continued musings after Chapter 138

Yona and Hak have a dramatic first night together

FWAP! Another bullseye in the rain. Yona walked to a hay target shooting area on a cobblestone street and found a bow and some arrows there. She’s only a few arrows in, but she can feel him there...

Hak stands behind her. He puts his hands over hers and lowers the bow. She turns as he wraps his cloak around her shoulders.

“I’m sorry, Princess. What I did back there didn’t mean anything.”

Of all days… "No, don’t apologize to me. Not today. This wasn’t you. I won’t let him do this.”

Hak watches her carefully, searching.

She breaks into tears as she admits it, “Even tonight with you. Is there no end to the happiness he'll take from me?! I shouldn’t have… we shouldn’t have..."

Hak’s eyes go wide at that last phrase. Yona turns to go. She’s only a few steps when she hears it -- he falls to his knees. It’s an unbearable tightening in her chest, she squeezes her eyes tight shut but she can still feel him back there in pain. It’s killing them both.

“Do you mean that?”

She turns and sees his face that way she can't bear. She marches back to him, tears and rain all mixed together, and throws her arms around him, falling to her knees as well, foreheads together. She kisses him, physically trying to tell him that he’s a part of the very fabric of her being now. Of course she didn't mean it.

Then, she painfully explains, "I thought I was going to die. When I lost the man I thought… I loved.”

Sting. Hak feels it.

“But I didn’t die, I became strong.”

Hak’s so vulnerable right now, staring deeply into her eyes, “You’re the most incredible woman I’ve ever known, and that has nothing to do with him.”

His hand rests against her cheek, she places hers over it, “Hak, if I lose you… if he takes you from me--”

“Where is this coming from? I won’t let that bastard put a hand on either one of us!” he weaves his fingers between hers into a hold full of promise.

But Yona is lost in a terror, “Hak, listen to me! If I lose you, I won’t survive it.”

He’s still watching her, absorbing her pain, “What happened? WHAT DID HE DO?!”

“It’s both he and I!!" her words are ripping something in Hak's chest apart, "He got the hairpin, I don’t know how, but I just got a warning from Min-Soo. A letter. I can only imagine what it means for Min-Soo’s safety… for Ogi’s...”

And gears start turning in Hak’s mind… oh shit.

“But what I've done is far worse,” Yona now sobs, Hak watching her in helpless confusion, “I stole your life from you! I couldn’t let you go. I was going to give you your freedom and… you’ve said it yourself, instead I’ve been so selfish. Only thinking about what I want, not what you need. Putting you directly in harm's way. Not even giving you the option to be general again.”

Hak stares in shock.

“It’s not too late… if you want to escape Soo-Won and I’s twisted world. You could go, survive. I think I might be losing myself anyway because… because if he finds out about us and comes after you: …I will kill him.”

Her eyes are on fire. But Hak sees that it’s not a flame against Soo-Won, no. It’s for HIM. To protect him.

He pulls her into his arms and rises, carrying her down the street.

“Hak! What are you--?” she notices he’s angry, furious. Down a couple streets and around a corner, he produces a key from a pocket and opens a door. Warm light spills out into the street as Hak carries her over the threshold and gently sets her down in front of a burning fire, her glorious, bright kimono completely soaked through. He goes to close the door.

“Hak…”

He’s trying to calm himself as he removes his sopping wet outer robe. Shivering, Yona slips Hak's cloak off her shoulders and also begins with the outer layer of her kimono. Within moments, he’s at her side helping her remove it.

“Hak…” again she whispers.

When his eyes meet hers, the intensity stops her heart. Just for a moment. And their life together flashes before her eyes. He firmly reminds her...

“You are my life. Since the day we met. As though it was carved in stone the second you were born. I belong to you. I will always choose you.”

Tears again, but this time moved, happy, “You idiot… you’re always so…” she’s getting lost in those piercing blue eyes, her mind coming back to the assuredness he always makes her feel. No, she hadn't betrayed him, she had trusted him. The enduring loyalty to her he's never broken. Overwhelmed with everything he makes her feel, she looks up at him and offers herself as his wife...

“Make love to me, Hak.”

All the anger is long gone from his visage. It's just tenderness now. He smiles sincerely as he brushes a strand of wet crimson hair from her cheek and locks his gaze with the beautiful amethyst eyes staring up at him in request, “I should have done this the first time you asked.”

“Why?”

“I'm going to show you.”

Before she can even think of responding, his mouth is crushed against hers -- she opens to the pressure and takes him in. He lifts her in his arms, carrying her to the bed. Their kissing is impassioned, fingers fumbling to remove clothing. He sets her horizontally across the bed, the pulling and grabbing, touching and kneading, so intense they can’t even take the time to get oriented properly.

His upper clothing is off, her robe pulled down, each barely able to spare a second from each other’s mouth and skin in order to shed another layer of fabric.

Finally free to touch and love each other, they’re both moaning and throwing themselves entirely into getting closer, deeper. The rhythm is impossibly fast, the eye contact consistent, hands folding in and out of each other, inhibitions completely absent, love itself making everything and nothing matter in that bed.

At last when their clothes are off, panting, Hak plants a firm kiss on Yona’s lips before looking into her eyes for comfort and consent to continue. She nods with need, panting as well.

He whispers, “I’m going to open you up for me.”

She doesn’t quite understand, but then she’s gasping. His mouth is on her womanhood as his fingers find their way into her. She was already very wet for him, now she’s sopping. He sucks her clit, rubbing his tongue over her nub. He shakes his face gently to tug and pull. It’s incredible, a sensation Yona was neither expecting nor had ever felt before. Her moans are savage, broken, yearning.

She puts her hands into his hair, fingers shaking against him as he works. He brings his mouth to her opening and sticks his tongue inside her. She opens her thighs wide, making all the room in the world for him, and lifts her hips, bringing herself into him, desperate for more, barely able to take it at all, “Hak!” calling his name into the night. He moves back up to her clit and goes to work vigorously on it, sucking, licking, his arms wrapped around her thighs--

--and her thighs shudder as she comes, brought to climax, her body pulsing on the bed, her center exploding with pleasure that reverberates throughout her entire body, chills to every extremity, even down to her toes, and a flood of endorphins to her head, a blissful state leaving her almost in catatonia.

He climbs above her, mounted. He runs a finger over lips as he watches her return to him, back to life from that earth-shattering moment.

“I don’t want to hurt you...”

“...you always say that.”

“I love you… and you’re the princess. I never forget.”

“I love you, too… and you’re the strongest warrior in Kouka. Don’t let me forget.”

He smiles at the challenge, “My pleasure, Princess.”

His mouth is on hers, he takes the kiss gently, relaxing her, he’s taking his time, suddenly she’s fully engaged in and distracted by the kiss, how he sweeps his tongue across hers, nuzzles his face against her, and then--

“Ahh!” the penetration is full, deep, it expands her, the thrust powerful, though she always knows he’s being careful with her. Gentle, but so strong.

He’s still as she gasps, he pulls slightly away from their kiss, “OK?”

She nods against him, tugging on his back. She notices his breathing, too, is ragged. His look far off, in some sweet ecstasy, before he regains himself and looks down into her eyes, full of meaning and connection as they lay coupled together, her legs spread wide for him, ankles wrapped around him. He gently pulls himself a ways out of her, then THRUSTS back inside. Yona throws her head back as she moans and arches her back. He thrusts again. Her nipples are hard, breasts swollen, her head digging into the bedding, one of her hands in his hair, the other around his back, she clings to him as she absorbs all the pleasure she’s ever handled. He thrusts again.

She meets his eyes once more and they lock a heated gaze as he thrusts into her, slightly harder, slightly faster as he goes. They stare into each other as they both moan, grunt, try to remember to breathe. Every few thrusts Hak leans down to kiss her. One second she’s biting her lower lip, the next she’s biting his. She’s losing her mind in his arms. At once it hurts and it feels incredible. It’s too much and not at all enough. Is she even in her body anymore? The emotion of the experience is overwhelming and she can’t say his name enough, “Hak, oh H.. Ha… Hak! Oh Hak, please, Hak, oh Hak, harder, Hak.”

Hak has been trying desperately to focus, to keep from losing it all right away. He looks down to see himself going inside of her vagina, in and out, rising and falling, thrusting and pulling, gleaming wet, rock hard. That and the breasts below him, the legs around him, her trembling arms, and the way she’s calling his name, “...Yona…” he lets escape.

He had no idea -- the effect of that word from his lips is Yona’s climax around his penis. Her walls squeeze tightly encompassing him, their warmth, their softness, cushioned around him in such a way he cannot handle -- no preparation could have stopped this, he releases instantly inside of her, a thorough, incredible volume of semen. He spurts and spurts into her, aftershocks simultaneously sending shudders through his body. He finishes filling her, possibly the most he’s ever released in an orgasm, then collapses over her shoulder, careful as to not put pressure on her beyond a soft, hard warmth over her.

He lay inside her, both of them panting in awe, for a few moments after, then he slowly pulls out and moves to the side of her, pulling her against him in his arms.

“I love you. I love you so much,” completely unoriginal but thoughts so big at the moment that they take up all the space in his head.

Yona kisses a beautiful peck in front of her face, her lips touching the scar, “You were… incredible.”

He kisses the top of her head, not believing this moment is real, “I didn’t hurt you?”

“It was the best hurt.”

“I’m sorry, I--”

“I want to do it again.”

#akatsuki no yona #hak x yona #first night back in fuuga #fanfic #lemon #akayona #hak #yona

[heyymonkey2]

First Night Back in Fuuga Ch 26: This Is War

AO3 Link to Chapter 26

Summary: Yona, Hak, and the Dragons come to defeat Kai… and take back the throne

When Jae-Ha finds Yona and Hak at the edge of camp in the twilight, the couple sends him off to gather Yun and the other dragons.

By the time the dark of night has fallen, they’re all making plans together in a private tent. Everyone is thrilled Yona and Hak have decided to stay and fight. Except maybe Jae-Ha. He watches on the sidelines, thinking and thinking.

In the center of things, Yona talks through various strategies with Hak. She’s amazed by him -- he knows every player’s resources, motivations, and talents. Anticipates exactly what the deadly collision of all those things will look like. Where each piece will move at every turn. And how to be ready for all of it.

There are many basics Yona has come to accept...

Worst comes to worst, their unexpected appearance at the border will earn them a head-on attack. Their odds will be pretty bad in that case. But the fallout from such a move could cost Kouka the war with Kai. They’re trusting that Soo-Won wouldn’t choose that. That is, if he’s in any control anymore.

Best case, Yona and Hak will be allowed to fight alongside their countrymen. And after Li Hazara is taken out of the equation, there will be a moment of truth at the center of the battlefield between Hak and Soo-Won. Hak has been waiting for this opportunity for a very long time...

But most likely, any settling of personal vendettas will be prevented and instead a civil war will be incited. Yona is shaken at that concept. Losing many of her own people over these continued corrupt politics? Her heart can barely stand the thought. And yet, what other way is there if they can’t get to the sitting king?

That. Killing Soo-Won… when Hak mentions it, his speech is clipped. He moves over the event as though a doctor stating how to treat a wound. There is one clear way to survive, brace yourself -- some things must be done. And yet, Yona is unable to accept the event actually happening. That Soo-Won is over in camp somewhere breathing right now. And that by nightfall, he might not be.

Hak watches Yona, wondering what’s going through her head about all this. Even though she’s made up her mind to fight and he’s made up his to support her goals… he’s her bodyguard, sensei, husband, lover, and friend. He cannot help but be sincerely full of fear. Is she afraid, too? What wouldn’t he do to protect her out there?

Jae-Ha worries about that very thing. On the side of the room, he continues to sit quietly dreading tomorrow... if Hak is distracted trying to protect Yona dear, he’ll only be half the warrior he can be. And that is a dangerous state to be in during war.

Finally, the whole family agrees -- for tomorrow to work, they will need to trust each other and most of all put their faith in Yona. Because Yona possesses a very unique talent. Something they’ve seen from visiting small villages to negotiating peace with entire countries: she moves hearts. And she has much to set in motion tonight. Any successes will directly lead to lives being saved. Because she will not continue in hiding nor will she support the current corruption in the palace -- she will be standing up to make her claim for the throne.

So with all their plans laid out, cloaked and with Jae-Ha as her escort, Yona takes off into the sky...

Kyo-Ga polishes his sword, mind focused on the task ahead… to be the best general he can for his people. He hears someone enter and turns in alarm--

“You… princess… it’s very late.”

Yona has come with Jae-Ha and they are otherwise alone. She lifts her palms wide open to indicate she comes peacefully.

“Please don’t worry, General Kyo-Ga. No one knows I’m here, nor will they ever have to. I’ve simply come to relay information… that only I can,” Yona goes on to bring up his father and what happened with Li Hazara… draws on that emotion in relation to what happened with her own father… tells him to look to that very event to see Soo-Won’s means to ends… and to look to Tae-Jun to see what a nation under her influence would look like.

“General Kyo-Ga, I beseech you, if you truly have a heart for your people, then join me in ending this betrayal and bloodshed once and for all...”

Kyo-Ga’s expression turns to awe as he sees the fire in her eyes...

Tae-Woo lays awake flicking straw into the air, seriously bummed about Hak having been missing all night… tonight of all nights. Would he be back in the morning?

Flick!

“Still playing around at this hour?”

Tae-Woo turns in relief, “Lord Hak!”

Hak’s expression is that of a person about to make a request.

Yesss, Tae-Woo smiles deviously, so ready for whatever this is gonna be, “Bring it on.”

The air in the room is suddenly full of energy from the mix of steadfast loyalty and a favor to be made...

Lili is putting a cloth over Min-Soo’s forehead to calm his fever when Jae-Ha and Yona arrive with Yun in tow.

“Yun can look after him from here. We have a favor to ask of you…”

Lili looks to her friends with determination, “Anything.”

“Your father... we need to speak with him privately.”

Lili considers… this could be incredibly difficult at this hour, but… “You can count on me. I’ll go to him now.”

The morning breaks like any other -- calm, bright.

Yona smiles at Hak’s familiar scent as she comes to… her eyes open to meet his staring pleasantly back at her. They’re nestled together with the dragons. Like old times. She leans up and presses her lips to his -- her favorite thing in the world might be waking up next to this man. The feeling of gratefulness and joy radiates through her, giving her strength. Hak savors the feel of her lips -- the touch fires him up like nothing else. As they pull apart…

“How did it go?” Yona whispers.

“The Wind is behind you,” Hak brushes a strand of crimson hair off her face to behind her ear.

She smiles, hardly believing their good luck, “Kyo-Ga, too.”

Hopeful but skeptical, “Joon-Gi?”

“Lili tried, she really did. But…”

“He refused to meet with you?”

Yona nods sadly.

He kisses the top of her head and encourages, “You’re gonna have some dragons fighting on your side out there that’ll be hard to ignore,” he nods the the guys in the room, “Joon-Gi might have a change of heart on that battlefield. Anything can happen out there.”

Change of heart… Yona wonders about Hak’s heart and what might happen out there today. Hearts are tricky things. Just a day before she herself had thought she had to walk away from the people and life she loved. And in the moment it came down to actually doing it, her heart wouldn’t let her. People… are human. We’re all only so strong when it comes to things we love... or loved.

Yona sees Hak looking at Ao sleeping right above her shoulder. She looks up at Ao too -- “Don’t worry about us, OK?” she tells the little furball as she strokes his head.

“You could come with and help protect her,” Hak offers to the squirrel.

Smacking Hak’s arm, “No way! Ao is too precious.”

“What? You’re at your best when you have something to protect. Ao could just sit there and you’d be amazing.”

“I have to be amazing anyway, you know. I have you to protect.”

Hak smiles as he lets that sentiment soak in, “You know what it does to me when you say you want to protect me.”

Yona blushes, then coyly crawls up against him for another kiss.

Hak moves a hand down over her tummy as she runs her fingers through his hair. He’s never wanted to survive so badly in his life. Feeling the warmth of where his hand covers… please, gods, he prays… can I make a selfish request just this once more?

It’s time. Yona and Hak walk hand in hand to her horse. She's ready with her quiver on her back, bow in hand, and sword sheathed on her belt.

Hak offers a hand, “I know you’ve been practicing, but Jae-Ha’s been spoiling you with the flying everywhere thing…”

Yona smiles, taking his hand as he helps her up, “If you say one thing about my weight I’ll--”

“--I’d never!” he smiles right back up at her.

“You should know, I can absolutely get on my own horse now. And ride without you behind me. So don’t worry.”

“But the horseback archery…?” he raises a skeptical eyebrow.

“I’ll dismount…” Yona admits, then, “You should also know I have no intention of losing my teacher out there today. Plan on training me well starting tomorrow, OK?”

Hak laughs, “Drillmaster! A man doesn’t get to rest a single day after war, huh?”

Yona’s eyes serious, cheeks pink, “There’s so much I’m looking forward to with you, I don’t want to lose a second.”

He squeezes her hand, “To be honest, Princess... I’m worried about today. I’m getting better at accepting the dangerous situations you have to go in… but I still can’t rest until you’re back at my side.”

“I know, my love,” she squeezes his hand back.

With all his sincerity, “Don’t do anything rash. As much as I want to ride straight in there together announcing your claim to the throne… if we’re gonna beat Soo-Won, we have to be just as strategic as he is. I’m going to play my part like we all agreed in the meeting yesterday… you need to stay on the fringe -- where you will be helping tremendously. But promise me… no matter what you hear or see in the center, do not go into the fray,” his eyes aren’t a command, he does not command this woman, but a plea -- his heart set out before her to do with what she will.

Yona gently nods with teary eyes, then, “Go and come back to me quickly,” she leans down for one last kiss -- he takes her face in his hands and meets her lips passionately, his everything. He pulls back and they whisper in almost unison, “I love you.”

Their mouths hover there, so close, breathing each other in, for just a moment...

Then Hak turns and doesn’t look back. He is going to take care of this. Everything that the Thunder Beast has ever been rumored to be... is about to appear in full force.

Jae-Ha lands in stride with Hak as he heads toward the Wind Camp.

“You two… troublesome apart, troublesome together. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad it keeps life interesting but--”

“She’s not an easy woman to love.”

Wistfully, “That’s why we love her.”

“Watch it, I’m not dead yet,” Hak warns Jae-Ha with a trip.

Loving the abuse, as Jae-Ha regains his footing, “That’s why I’m here. Are you planning to go do something stupidly brave out there? I was thinking... how about we win this war and then take our time with the whole taking back the throne thing? Maybe all stay alive in the process, eh?”

Hak sighs with a frown. Jae-Ha nods, “Oh, I see. One of those… thinking ahead twenty steps things.”

“If you knew, you’d do the same. Help me protect her, Jae-Ha.”

“You don’t have to ask for that, Hak…”

“There’s blocking an arrow or getting her out of there. What I mean is -- help me protect her. Seeing war does things to people. Especially if you believe the deaths are on your hands.”

“Ah, all that prep in case there’d be a civil war… you’re not going to allow there to be a civil war.”

“Aside from those people not needing to die, starting her reign that way would…”

“Be against everything her father believed in.”

Hak pleads, “Don’t let her go into the center. No matter what.”

Jae-Ha thinks on all that that means for a moment, then, “I care about you both too much to let her do that,” he watches his friend as they arrive at the Wind tent, it wouldn’t just be her who’d be in danger then.

“I promise: I’ll protect our precious Yona’s heart.”

And that sets Hak at ease...

Lili sits in her tent with Yun watching over Min-Soo. She’s moping horribly.

“I failed her. She asks for a single favor… my own father… and I can’t even deliver on that.”

Yun looks like he’s about to lose his mind, “Usually the complaining is my line. You might have ruined me for it for the rest of my life.”

Lili continues as though she didn’t hear him, “I don’t even need to be here. I shouldn’t even be here. I need to be… out there. With her. But I can’t fight like her… I…”

She looks up -- Ayura and Tetora have just arrived.

“You made it!!”

The girls all hug, squee’ing and long-awaited-reunion-level merriment. Yun looks down at his medicine -- maybe he needs to take something for the emotional whiplash in here?

Lili pulls back from her friends, stars aligning in her mind, eyes lit with possibility...

Tetora is the first to realize, “Uh oh…”

Lili dives right in-- “Do you mind if we go see father?”

“...isn’t he about to start a war right now?”

Ayura realizes, “Small detail…”

“I know it could be dangerous, I’m willing to go alone at a point… I just need to see if it’s possible to do something for Yona. To at least try.”

When the troops have gathered in formation at the border, Soo-Won, Keishuk, and General Joo-Doh see it in the distance--

Princess Yona rides toward them with four dragons behind.

Keishuk is furious, “She came? Did you know about this?!”

“...no,” Soo-Won’s even exterior borders on cracking at the sight, but he just barely holds it together, “Defeating Kai takes precedence.”

Even General Joo-Doh is sweating about the complication, “He’s right. We’ll lose this war if we don’t work together.”

Keishuk stares suspiciously, “What exactly were you doing with the princess two nights ago, Soo-Won?”

But Soo-Won is lost in his head, frantic, “Where’s Hak…?” he’s scanning over the troops -- ah, there, just like they’d discussed, the Thunder Beast is at the head of the Wind alongside Tae-Woo.

Keishuk has seen too much of Soo-Won’s obsession on this topic, “Why are you always so concerned about that man? You have thousands of troops at your disposal!”

“...” Soo-Won is trapped. This is really happening. They didn’t leave. Then they’re… standing against him? Even if by all appearances they’re fighting alongside him now… they all know, they all know what comes next. There’s no more denying, “That man… married the princess.”

Keishuk goes white as he begins to gasp, “You knew this?! Did you take his wife into your bed? Or… you didn’t? It doesn’t matter, he has a claim to the throne -- kill him now!”

Joo-Doh puts a hand on Keishuk, which Keishuk quickly slaps off, but Joo-Doh stresses, “We cannot do that now. Wait.”

Keishuk seethes, “Unbelievable,” he eyes narrowing toward Hak, “So win the war first… but remember, there’s much confusion during war. Anything can happen on the battlefield. And if neither of you will do it… I will.”

“...he’s the strongest warrior in this country,” Joo-Doh is incredulous at the proposal.

“If it takes the entire Sky Tribe, so be it.”

Joo-Doh is silenced with shock.

Soo-Won stares forward over their thousands of men, stricken.

But -- the moment has arrived for this war to hurtle forward. Soo-Won lifts his flag. The generals see. The battle cry is deafening.

#akatsuki no yona #fanfic #hak x yona #yona of the dawn #first night back in fuuga