Straight up had a dream last night that DC revealed that Bart and Kon were dating and it was in the WILDEST FUCKING WAY.
K, so picture this: Clark needs someone to fly around disguised as him for a plan. So Clark goes through the options in his head: Bruce can't fly, MM is off world, Jon is too much of a twink to be believable, Kara is blonde, Kon is.... Perfect! With a person in mind who would be perfect for his plan, Clark flies off to find Kon.
Cut to Judy Garrick zipping around the Garrick's house. Joan is quietly scrapbooking at the kitchen table and Judy is bored out of her mind. Judy asks Joan if there is anything she can do because she is so unbelievably bored.
Joan responds, very calmly, that she can hear "your brother's boyfriend touching down in the backyard, so why don't you go ask him?"
Judy's face jumps from emotion to emotion as three things are revealed at once. 1) Joan considers Bart to be a son and thus, Judy's brother, 2) Judy's new brother is not straight and 3) Bart has a boyfriend who is in the backyard.
So Judy immediately runs to the backyard and is stunned to bump into Clark (who was there looking for Kon) and then the dream continued on with the two of them hunting down Bart&Kon (who were just at school being normal goddammit!!!) but the entire time Judy is secretly out for blood because she thinks that Joan was referring to Clark and that this adult man is trying to date her new little brother and Judy keeps trying to kill him but it doesn't work because Clark is Kryptonian (and oblivious to the attempted homicides).
Anyway, wild dream all around.
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“There's a goblin, crouched over a large stone table. He's got long greasy hair that probably hasn't ever been washed and his clothes are ripped and ugly. He smells like pipe smoke and mutters to himself as you approach.”
Steve sighs and bravely stops himself from beating his head repeatedly against the table, “Erica.”
“What?” she’s even less affected by his chiding when she’s behind her DM screen, and she wasn’t that affected to begin with. “I'm just describing the character.”
“I'm sorry I said it was adorable, okay! Is that what you want to hear?”
Robin abandons her dice tower to glare at him, “Dingus, what'd you do?”
“Opened his big mouth when he shouldn't have.” A true if mostly inaccurate description of what happened, but he should have known better than to try to speak when Erica actually opened up a little.
“Dude, you know when you annoy Erica the rest of us suffer.” Now Dustin is whining, as if Steve weren’t being punished enough.
“I don't see how anyone is suffering,” but him. Steve definitely feels like he is suffering .
Robin leans in close and whispers, “You'll tell me later?” It’s a Robin whisper though, and it doesn’t go unheard by their temperamental pre-teen DM.
“The goblin is oblivious to the party too busy fooling around with poorly painted figurines-”
“That's out of line.” He’s got his dad voice out now, this was supposed to be a fun session and now he’s parenting.
“That's where you're gonna draw it?” She actually seems surprised by that, eyebrow arched at the idea that she found Steve’s line in the sand.
“Nobody has insulted the things you've worked on.”
“Fine, he's fooling around with his perfectly fine figurines, but he won't shut up about changed princes.”
He can feel it click for Robin, she shoves him almost off of the Sinclair’s overstuffed couch. He won’t look at her, he doesn’t want to look at her stupid I’m gonna mock you face. “Stephan!”
“I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings,” he apologizes, “I really do think it's cute.” But he’s not ready to grovel yet.
“Can dish it out but you can't take it, Harrington.” he rubs a hand down his face, pushing the impending headache this whole thing is causing back into his brain as best he can, and when he looks back up he sees an eleven year old.
“I wasn't dishing anything,” he says, remembering how awful and uncomfortable it was to be eleven. To have crushes and feelings that you didn’t know what to do about, and how much worse it was to not have anyone to help you figure them all out.
“Promise,” her lip doesn’t wobble and her tone doesn’t shake because she’s Erica Sinclair future president of the world, but the youth and the nerves are there all the same.
“Promise.”
“Fine, don't ever try to talk to me about this again.”
“Again, I was agreeing with you.” Because he’s still him and she’s still her and if he let it go too easily there would be just as much hell to pay. “I was saying you have good taste.”
“Stop, I have seen where your current tastes are. Don't align me with you.”
“Fine, fine. Are you going to be nicer?”
“I guess. As you walk into the cave you pass through a powerful illusion, you see that the goblin is really an average looking human man who probably washes his hair at least sometimes.” It’s really the best he could hope for, he figures.
“Wait, is this Eddie?” Dustin’s shrieking as he finally catches up with the interpersonal drama happening at the table is liable to send them back to the start.
“No, and he's not average looking.” He’s not sure who that comment is meant for. Erica for suggesting it or Dustin for finally catching up because of it.
“Mind your business,” Erica shoots back, just as done with the conversation as Steve is, “or your spell components are gonna get harder to find. And he’s not exactly anything to write home about.”
“Can we get back to it,” Robin interrupts, the true love of his life and the jealous hoarder of all opportunities to bully him about his love life, “I was promised a fight for my new dagger and I will use it on this gremlin man who seems like he needs to expand his music tastes if I have to.”
“Robin!” She deserves to get her punches in, he guesses, and if it’s his turn to get mocked by the Scoops Troop at least it’s not happening on a bathroom floor.
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It’s awkward at first. Like watching your parents kiss and having to look away to shield yourself from the secondhand embarrassment.
But now Max is… used to it. Appreciative of it, even.
For a while, she was seriously starting to doubt the existence of love. She figured that, if anything, the best she could hope for is to be able to tolerate someone enough to spend the rest of her life with them. To hope that she finds someone who doesn’t take pleasure in screaming at her or raising their fists.
Because all this talk of love and romance and whatever else is fantasy, clearly.
At least, that’s what she thought.
“You gonna pick something or just stare at the tapes forever?” Billy huffs.
He strolls past the couch, playfully nudging her arm and earning an eye roll. It’s Thursday night, which means that Steve has brought home an abundant selection of movies before they all get snatched up for the weekend at the video store. It also means that Lucas is curled up on the sofa next to her.
Movie nights used to be tense. Billy and Steve wouldn’t sit too close, and their presence, again, felt like that of parents. Like Max and Lucas shouldn’t sit too close either for fear of being scolded.
But, several weeks and a bestowed pack of condoms from Billy later, things are easier.
The blond, rather than finding a seat on the entire open half of the couch, heads straight for the recliner that Steve is already sitting in. Without even looking, Steve spreads his legs and opens his arms.
The beat up old La-Z-Boy gives an eerie creak under their shared weight when Billy eases into his lap.
At one point, Max would have felt awkward for bearing witness to it. Would have avoided looking at that side of the room for the whole evening or even turned in early for the night. But she watches, instead, how Steve’s arms lace around Billy’s waist and pull him closer. How Billy relaxes instantly and smiles when a kiss is pressed to his shoulder, to his neck, and then to his cheek.
It’s nice, she thinks.
Someone is finally being gentle with her brother, and she couldn’t have picked anyone better suited for the job.
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