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#but not sugar either
hasmothsforbrains · 2 years
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Gabriel is obsessed and makes stupid decisions = That's funny.
Gabriel having a legit panic attack and freaking out = Not funny not funny hoLY SHIT-
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angiestown · 2 years
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time for everyone to have opinions on sprinkles
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lastoneout · 5 months
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I do agree with the people calling Somerton out for his misogyny and lesbophobia but I do want to remind everyone that him treating Becky Albertalli like that was an explicit act of biphobia. Like there is something very transparent about him insisting that lesbians have it easier than gay men only to turn to a bisexual woman and refuse to accept that she's queer at all. That was biphobia in it's purest form. It doesn't make the rest okay by any means and I'm not trying to minimize it, but as a bisexual woman I think it's important for everyone to recognize that he did not just treat her like that because she's a woman who happens to like women, he did that because she's bisexual and he clearly doesn't think bisexual women are queer at all.
Also don't gloss over the transphobia around ignoring ND Stephenson and Rebecca Sugar's gender identities as well. He's not just a misogynist and a lesbophobe, he's biphobic and transphobic too. Acknowledge all of it.
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jtl-fics · 1 year
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Fluent Freshman - Part 14
PREVIOUS
When Andrew came out of his bedroom to grab a second Allen wrench (he’s working on the frame of the dresser while Neil builds the drawers) he finds quite a few things to irritate him.
1st was the sound of his brother and his cousin arguing loudly. Andrew had been pretty clear that they needed to be quiet that morning but following Andrew’s clearly given guidelines was NEVER either of their strong suits.
2nd was the fact that there was a smell in the air that Andrew was unsure of. It wasn’t a bad smell. It didn’t smell like Nicky had left some component of the breakfast FF had bought to burn. Andrew sniffed the air again and…..lavender? It wasn’t really a smell that existed in the house of three college student boys.
3rd and most irritating was the fact that FF was not where Andrew had left him four hours ago on the couch. Again, Andrew had been pretty clear to both Nicky and Aaron that FF was to be left ALONE. FF hadn’t been able to go to sleep until Andrew had promised that nothing would happen to him while he slept.
He moves towards the kitchen table where Nicky and Aaron are eating some of the sour patch kids that FF had brought back as they argued, “He can’t be serious that Kate and I gross him out more than Andrew and Neil! I’ve seen how fast he walks away when they start getting gross.” He hears Aaron say.
“Aaron I have watched Smithy climb out a second story window because you and Katelyn started making out and he’d have to walk closer to you to go out the door.” Nicky returns. “I think you made him mad when you implied he was grossed out by Andrew and Neil. This is why I get spoon privileges and maybe, if Smithy is feeling forgiving, you can swipe your finger around the bowl.” he points at Aaron.
Andrew hangs back just out of sight.
He knows that FF does not like to be subjected to seeing PDA. A part of him feels…better at the confirmation that it really isn’t because him and Neil are both men. FF has seen them hold hands, kiss chastely, and lean on one another and been unbothered by that it was only when it started getting a little heated that  they’d realize that FF had left. FF never makes a scene about it, never scoffs in disgust or squeals in delight he just seems to see where it’s going and will leave if he doesn’t want to see it.
It’s nice.
“Well he’s probably mad at you for waking him up. Andrew said to leave him alone.” Aaron returns.
“He needs breakfast! He also has to take his ulcer meds at the same time so he had to wake up and eat something. He can go back to sleep after!” Nicky defends.
Andrew scowls. Ok. Nicky could live if that was the reason he woke FF up. Still, why the hell is FF in the kitchen and more importantly what bowl and spoon are Aaron and Nicky arguing over?
Andrew tunes his family’s argument out and heads to the kitchen to find FF putting a baking dish into their oven while incense burned on the counter (Andrew now realizes that was the thin box that had been in with the rest of the candy)
He sees the bowl and spoon that Nicky had mentioned and more importantly he can see the chocolate brownie batter on them. Andrew walks over to the bowl and picks it up. He wipes his finger along the inside and…
He closes his eyes for a moment to savor the flavor of the batter. He leans against the counter and his hand brushes against….a five hour energy bottle. Andrew knows he had thrown out the two he had found in FF’s bags before (Ulcer + exhaustion + FF = bad he didn’t need to be a math major like Neil to understand that math.)
Andrew shoves the bottle in his sweatshirt pocket as FF turns around and stares at him passively. FF’s eyebrow’s raise slightly but there’s no other reaction. Andrew considers that, perhaps, FF had wanted to lick the bowl.
He offers the spoon instead knowing it is the better prize but FF is the one who bought the ingredients and mixed together this amazing batter, so he gets first dibs.
“That wouldn’t be good for my stomach.” He declines and Andrew wonders if FF had taken his meds yet or, in his tired state, he’s forgotten to.
“When did you wake up?” Andrew asks.
“Hour ago.”
He should go back to sleep after he takes his meds but also knows that FF probably won’t go to sleep until the brownies are done.
“I’ll make the pie tomorrow.” FF says and Andrew blinks out of his thoughts.
Andrew decides to go get FF’s meds for him. He’ll make it clear to FF later that the guy doesn’t HAVE to keep making amazing desserts as a thanks for being invited to Columbia. If FF just so happens to WANT to keep making amazing desserts then Andrew isn’t going to be the person that stops him.
He shoves the spoon in his mouth and heads out to go find Smith’s bag and his meds.
Aaron and Nicky see him and both let out outraged noises as their quarry had been stolen.
Andrew ignores them and gets to the bag by the couch.
Who the fuck just has 14 bottles of five hour energy sitting in their bag??
***
When Andrew handed FF his ulcer meds he could admit to feeling grateful even if Andrew had obviously gone through his bag to grab it. He swallows it dry because Andrew is standing by the sink and he knows that until Andrew eats a brownie he is not in a position to ask for favors big or small.
(He learned his lesson from that one time with Captain Neil. If he wants to do anything related to Russian he has to be in the safety of his lofted bed under the cover of night and the cover of his…covers while he reads via flashlight. He will not be caught so flat footed again! These are all necessary precautions!)
Andrew seems to very much want for FF to be in prime condition for the hunt. Part of him wonders if he’ll be released amongst other game animals and FF had never felt more jealous of the turkey who got pardoned by the president the day before. Why does that stupid bird get all the luck? Where’s his presidential pardon?
That grateful feeling evaporates into a dust cloud as Andrew lifts a plastic bag, “Stop drinking these.” Andrew hisses, “They’re going to make your ulcer worse.” He points at FF.
“I need them.” He says.
“For what?”
“Five hours of energy at a time.”
“Pull out the brownies and go back to sleep Smith.”
“They still have 10 minutes.”
“Then I’ll pull them out in 10 minutes.”
“There’s a final step that I have to do once they’re fresh out of the oven.”
“What is it.”
“Smith Family Baking secret. I don’t make the rules.” FF gestures towards where the incense continues to burn, “Great Gran’s recipe and methods cannot be shared with non-blood relatives. My mom wasn’t even let in on the secret.”
Thank god
Andrew glowers at him.
Oh God
“It’ll be just 20 more minutes.”
Andrew’s eyes narrow at him.
“They’ll be worth it.” He pleads.
Andrew rolls his eyes.
“Go to sleep when they’re done. Take Nicky’s room.” Andrew commands.
“Take Nicky’s what?” Nicky leans into the kitchen.
“Smith is going to go back to sleep on your bed.”
“Yeah you look like shit Smithy. Don’t worry, unlike Neil and Andrew’s bed mine is all safe.”
Nicky zips out of the kitchen with Andrew hot on his heels. Nicky really is a good friend.
He performs the sacred rites necessary upon the brownies when they come out of the oven and takes a small corner piece to taste test and -
He closes his eyes and clasps his hands together in prayer.
‘Thank you Great Gran.’ He prays earnestly.
‘Remember to wash behind your ears’ he thinks he hears a whisper of grandmotherly advice in return.
That was probably normal.
He extinguishes the incense.
He cuts up the brownies, finds a decently sized plate, and sets the brownies out on the counter before he starts to work on doing the dishes. Yeah Yeah he could have been cleaning while he waited for the brownies to cook! That’s what you always do right? Clean as you go?
Well have you ever been baking brownies that might be the difference between life and death? No? Well then FF is just going to have to stop you right there because he had the oven light on and his eyes GLUED to these fudgey squares.
Who knows what the cousins’ oven would do? He doesn’t know this oven. He and this oven are taking their first whirl together and it could decide to turn on him at any time. They don’t have the brotherhood that he and the oven at his Gran’s house have built over the years! This oven could be one of those ones that maintain their temperature by turning on the broiler! He felt like he could never again recklessly trust an oven after he tried to make crescent rolls in the Viking Oven at his step father’s house and had gotten them back blackened by the broiler.
That oven had been the SINGLE thing he had been excited about during the kitchen remodel which means naturally it was the thing that had betrayed him.
He lets himself think of all the ways he hates the Viking brand as he finishes the dishes and puts everything back to where they belong.
He walks out of the kitchen with the platter of brownies and sets them down on the table where Aaron and Nicky are sat. “Oh my god they smell amazing.” Nicky says and immediately his hand is shooting towards the plate and picking up a corner piece.
FF valiantly resists the urge to slap his and Aaron’s hands away. He needs these to compel Andrew into letting him live.
“Oh wow, those do smell good.” He hears Captain Neil’s voice and when FF turns around Captain Neil and Andrew are both there. It is only in that moment that he realizes that he should have bought some vanilla ice cream to go with these.
Andrew’s love of ice cream was not unknown, probably even infamous. He was the man who, during the summer training, had been so possessive over the soft serve machine in the cafeteria that anyone who wanted any had to ask Captain Neil to get them a bowl or risk being threatened.
He starts towards the door. At this point Target probably isn’t even that bad, probably just some irate people who didn’t come with the rush and are mad they missed out, maybe some officers talking to witnesses on who threw cast the first Wii remote, and workers who will hate him marginally less (unless he gets the same check out person and they remember him (unlikely))
His progress is arrested by a hand grabbing his hoodie.
“Where are you going?”
“I forgot Ice Cream.” And he could get a five hour energy to slam on the way back home.
He then finds himself being pulled down an unfamiliar hallway.
Ah, the anticipation had been killing him more than the fear of his demise. His brownies had not contained the requisite amount of grandmotherly love to save him he had been relying on extract (Great Gran’s spirit guiding his hands) instead of organic (he does not have grandchildren or children for that matter)
Maybe ice cream would have been the deciding factor? He’ll never know.
He closes his eyes and lets himself be dragged. He’s too tired to fight.
A door opens, and he finds himself sat on a bed.
Weird.
“You are falling asleep standing up. Go back to sleep. I’ll leave you at Eden’s if you fall asleep in the booth.” Andrew threatens.
What.
FF knows about Eden’s.
He has heard about it from Nicky trying to get him to agree to go but he’s pretty sure it’d be like introducing an Amazon rainforest frog to the Sahara desert in terms of survivability for him.
“We’re going to Eden’s tonight?” He manages to ask.
Andrew raises an eyebrow at him but answers, “Yes.”
“I’m not really interested in clubs. I don’t drink out in public or dance.”
“Neither does Neil. I just drink. We can stay in the booth.”
“I don’t want to interrupt your time with Captain Neil.”
“It’s fine, neither of us hate spending time with you.”
“I don’t have clothes for a place like that.”
“Nicky grabbed some for you. You’re coming tonight. Go to sleep.”
With that Andrew pulls Nicky’s curtains close, shuts off the light, and closes the door.
FF, always very much like a bird when placed into a suddenly dark environment, starts to feel some of the  exceptional sleepiness that he’d been pushing off through sheer manic desperation to earn another day of life.
He lays down in Nicky’s bed and is tired enough that he can ignore the sheer amount of body glitter on the sheets (does Nicky excrete it like sweat??) and starts to let himself drift off to sleep.
Eden’s might be something completely out of his wheelhouse but-
A conversation with Nicky from when he’d been trying to get FF to go comes into his mind and he sits straight up in bed as Nicky’s words roll around in his head like stale hotdogs at a gas station.
“Eden’s is cool, even though there’s some sick shit in the basement.”
Eden’s is a Secondary Location with a BASEMENT.
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MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU
NEXT
Per your requests:
@i-have-three-feelings​ @blep-23 @dreamerking27 @andreilsmyreligion @belodensetdust @rainbowpineapplebottle @yarn-ace @iwouldlikesometea @lily-s-world @obscureshipsandchips @booklover242 @whataboutmyfries @sahturnos @pluto-pepsi @dreamerthinker @passinhosdetartaruga @leftunknownheart @aro-manita-muscaria @hologramsaredead @Chaoticgremlinswishtheycouldbeme @tntwme @tayspots @nick-scar @crazy-fangirl2524 @blue-jos10 @stabbyfoxandrew @splishsplashyouropinionistrash @sammichly @the-broken-pen @bitchesdoweknowu @very-small-flower @ghostlyboiii @its-a-paxycab @bisexual-genderfluid-fan @cheesecookie @theoneandonlylostsock @foxsoulcourt @blueleys @adverbialstarlight @elia-nna @can-i-just-stay-in-the-corner @nikodiangel @foxandcrow-inatrenchcoat @hallucinatedjosten @satanic-foxhole-court @vexingcosmos @chalilodimun @insectsgetcooked @angry-kid-with-no-money @queer-crows @lilyndra @themugglemudperson @readertodeath @apileofpillows @mortalsbowbeforeme @hellomynameismoo @next-level-mess @youreonlylow @interstellarfig @notprocrastinatingatalltoday @percyjacksonfan3 @queenofcrazy27 @bsmr261 @ghostlyscares @spencellio @adinthedarkroom @harpymoth @sufferingjustalilbit
The requests to be added to the tag list got spread out across a few different mediums on this one so if I missed you then just ask in the replies!
As stated before if you’re up here and I spelled it right but you  didn’t  get a notification there might be something switched around in  your settings that won’t let me tag you properly?
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keepthemacramesecret · 10 months
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rly wild actually how consistently holmes amd watson share finances or more specifically how holmes just handles it all like ik theres practical reasons for it but watsons checkbook is locked in holmes desk and he has to ask for the key?? the duke in priory school gives them £6k each as reward- made out as 12k to holmes' bank. when he wants watson to move back to baker st after empty house he just fucking BUYS his house and practice via a cousin at the highest price he asks for so theres nothing inconvenient. watson starts scarlet worried abt making a living and affording rent on his pension and then does not have to think abt money for 20 yrs bc sherlock just covers everything lmao
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rustyreveries · 27 days
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happy autism acceptance month!! i doodled salad to celebrate <3
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he’s one of the best unintentional autistic reps imo
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rodolfoparras · 6 months
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ik ur requests r closed buttttttt could u maybe write a quick drabble thingie 👉👈
ik this is weird but like i’m super into like traditional “masculine manly” men who r like super into “girly” cute things. like hello kitty n wearing pink. so how about with price, pretty please
-🕷️
ps love u
It may have been one two or three drinks at the bar when you had described your ideal type to Price.
You hadn’t been awfully specific in your description. You had just said that you like pretty people, pretty people could be boys, could be girls, could be really anyone, could even be Price.
As he stares at himself in the mirror, he thinks he looks pretty with concealer dabbed lightly on his face to hide any visible imperfections, eyeliner drawn in such way to give a sultry look to his eyes and pink on his lips and cheeks just to feel pretty.
He’d even gone as far as to dig up one of his favorite tops out the closet, the one with a plunging neckline that hugs his pecs just right and shows off his dog tags.
It’s not often he allows himself to look this way, to look pretty. The army wasn’t a place for pretty men and as the captain of a sas squad he rarely allowed himself to look this way.
However today he wasn’t an army man- a captain of a sas squad. Today he was John, just john, the man who’s been pining after his best friend for years and went out his way to get all pretty for you in hopes of you noticing him, and not in the way a friend would spot a familiar face in a crowed but rather in the way someone would lay their eyes on a person that they loved.
However for a second he feels doubt creeping up his back, bile rising up his throat and legs readying themselves to run because you’ve never seen Price dressed up and with make up on.
You’ve only ever seen him with black face paint smeared on his face, dressed in heavy gear that protected vital organs and hid vulnerable parts of his body.
What if when you said you liked pretty people, you didn’t mean pretty women and men, what if Price wasn’t included in your definition of what you think is pretty, what if you laugh in his face when you see him all dressed up with make up on his face what if-
He doesn’t get to grumble on it any further before the door bursts open and you walk in.
“John are you ready to g-“
He braves himself, swallows down the acid burning in his throat, stretches out his hands as if to present himself before saying the words “well how do I look?”
You try to speak, but no words slip past your lips and your voice even embarrassingly breaks, as you try to answer his question.
“Didn’t think you’d feel this strongly about a lad in make-up” he says with a forced chuckle, in an attempt to ease the tension while folding his arms across his chest.
“What no wait-“ you say, words rushing to tumble off your lips while furiously waving your hands in the air.”it’s not like that”
“‘It’s alright, no need to explain let’s get moving before we’re late” he says while brushing past you.
“John” you say as gently grab ahold of his arm.
He just hums in response, a forced smile painted on his face as he turns to meet your gaze, braving himself for what you’re about to say.
“I wanted to say that it suits you” you say and it’s only now he hears the slight crack in your voice the way you’re shyly looking down at the floor while fidgeting with the sleeves of his shirt.
“Yeah?” He says, voice sounding steadier and smile turning much more genuine.
You just hum in response, hand going to his face to swipe away the mascara that smudged on his eyelid before smiling down at him. “Yeah I think you look pretty”
“Pretty?” He echos back to you in response, tone heavy and word carefully uttered as if you’d take them back any second if he said it too loudly.
Your hand cup his cheek, calloused thumb caressing soft skin, and for a second he dares imagine that your eyes flicker down to his lips.
“Very pretty” you say with a smile on your face, touch lasting a bit too long before you drop your hand to gentle grab his elbow.
“Come on, we have to go now or we’ll be late”
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loverdude · 3 months
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I hope that it is not too weird of me to draw all of my past pet kitties as Sparklecare characters LOL...
Don't repost/use 4 anything 🐱 COMMISSION INFO
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cemeterything · 1 year
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patting myself on the back for enforcing the most basic of boundaries with my mother by refusing to talk to her until tomorrow after she tried to insist on calling me for the fourth time today in as many hours because i'm sick and she wants to "check up" on me. this is why i don't talk to you unless i have to!!! because you'll use any excuse to be up in my business every 5 minutes and make me feel like you think i'm 2 years old and incapable of taking care of myself!!!
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trek-tracks · 7 months
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Being a Type 1 diabetic Trekkie means that sometimes your two autocorrect suggestions are “insulin” and “I, Sulu”
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liquidstar · 7 months
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honestly does anyone else think that the what:if routes are perhaps telling us that some sort of collision between subaru and reinhard is just inevitable in nearly every route
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mochiiniko · 4 months
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rd art dump featuring some old stuff that i just forgot to post lol
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starburstfloat · 1 year
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didn't think it was possible for txt to enter a gayer era than blue hour but ummm
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darudedogestorm · 2 months
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chart i made about what LPS each undersider would be (criteria being if i was 10 and i was playing worm which LPS would i choose). can and will be changed at any time on account of too many of them
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kogglyuffs · 7 months
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i am all for sugar swan w wings
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milkbreadtoast · 1 year
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Needed to post about it here too bc I'm going insane,,,🥹🥹🥹
Roguefort Cookie is localized as they/them in English in Cookie Run, but I've seen some debate over their gender in the original Korean; I've seen some say that they were originally male in Korean . But when I asked(in kr) about this on twitter, 1 of my korean twitter mutuals found this tweet directly from the mouth of Roguefort Cookie's designer, Artist G:
"Roguefort(괴도맛 쿠키) is a friend who is skilled at hiding the truth. Even I, as the designer, do not know this cookie's gender🤫"
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THIS IS HUGE...... ARTIST G..... EXPLICITLY DESIGNED ROGUEFORT WITHOUT A SET GENDER IN MIND... CONFIRMATION THAT ROGUEFORT DOES NOT HAVE A CANON GENDER/ CAN BE CONSIDERED CANONICALLY NONBINARY... THIS IS HUUUGE ARTIST G IS A LEGEND 🥹🥹🥹🥹 they truly have given the LGBT community so much... 🛐❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥
(Reminder that these are the cookies designed by Artist G so far.... absolute Legend....🛐🛐🛐)
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