#but me needing to vent this feeling lmao

[genericpuff]

vent post

#and before anyone who hates my shit says “yeah because you ARE a loser way to have self awareness for once” #i promise you this would be me with or without the LO fandom LMAO #anxiety is a hell of a thing #and as much as i internally guilt myself into thinking it would be better if i just shut up and hid away forever #i also know that's the trauma speaking because the adults around me always told me to shut up #and even as an adult i still encounter people who talk over me and make me feel like i'm not allowed to be outspoken #but the pen is mightier than the sword and all those years i've spent being spoken over i've been honing my penmanship #i have fun talking about the things i talk about and i don't have any less right than anyone else to do it #i am cringe and i am free #self post #vent post #altho on another note i do wanna make time this week to go find new series to read #too many of my favorites have turned to shit and it's taken its toll #i KNOW there are better comics out there that are genuinely well made #i already have a few that i'm reading that i love but i need to balance out the good with the bad more lol #i just need to take the time to go find good stuff instead of pouring so much of my attention into the bullshit that doesn't deserve my tim #i think both things can be true #i can have a lot of fun dissecting and writing about series i don't like #while also nourishing myself with good works that restore my faith in this medium #“perfectly balanced as all things should be”

[slutdge]

hard to cope with the pain of having an addiction and knowing youre doing irreperable damage to your body combined with the fear that maybe one day things will get better and you can get clean/sober and not need to self medicate the pain anymore but itll be too late because you already fucked your body up beyond repair. i need to go lay face down in the snow.

#the misconception that all addicts enjoy being addicts is untrue. a lot of us hate it. #not to be dramatic or anything but please god i need to get out of here its killing me lmao #to be able to feel your cognitive ability and see your face slowly deteriorate in real time is horrific in a way i cant describe #anyways sorry ive been on like a 2 day streak of vent posting ive just been in the gutter worse than usual. believe me im sick of it too. #addiction

[if-you-soul]

i wanted to write a post about how soul is such a victim of character assassination in this fandom but for now im just going to post this

is an animal that lashes out when cornered evil? after all, a snarl of either sort looks the same

#cccc soul #cj soul #chonnys charming chaos compendium #soul is just as messed up in the head as the other two are. there. i said it #idk. a little weird how quick some people are to act like someone who is suffering is an irredeemable monster #i just feel bad for this character. i relate to him a lot so sue me lmao #despite the artstyle this is NOT A VENT PIECE feel free to reblog!!! #i just like this little guy a lot. :3 #if i am the only soul fan in existence so be it #eyestrain #eyestrain warning #need to write a more elaborate post later this guy is fascinating to me #i need an art tag

[lottieurl]

i'm well aware there are single parents out there working full time but i think working full time and living alone with my dog is about to put me in a psychward

#why cant i handle what other people seem to handle effortlessly lmao #im so fucking exhausted and burnt-out i need demonic possession to save me or smth #like please @ random demon you will do a better job for sure #idk its like. my dog is now spending so much time alone when im at home that i feel really guilty #if i wanna go out or do anything that doesnt involve her #i have no damn time and energy #i might spend half a free day cleaning but its all a mess anyway #and then i will come back home like today just exhausted after 5 days of work in a row #and i just wanna take her for a walk and get myself smth to eat and chill a little #and i find! is poop all over the damn floor i finally managed to wash like a day ago #and it stinks so fucking bad i nearly throw up cleaning up #and then have a breakdown in the bathroom. as you do. #HOW DO PEOPLE LIVE LIKE THIS I AM SO FUCKING EXHAUSTED #its also not fair to my dog idk this sucks so much #i doubt anyone read all this bht if you did hi and sorry #needed to vent unfortunately #wah im TIRED

[torchickentacos]

winter depression is here and I am ANNOYED about it

#not really a vent in tags. just bitching about it lmao #i am a creative extrovert who suddenly does not want to create or talk to people! #but i have been through this more than enough times to know that i need to start doing those things MORE #as to not get dragged into the depression spiral #and like for a lot of people it's just 'get outside more' #but my disabled ass isn't easily able to do that so it's just 'text more. discord more. draw more. read more. inside things more.' #which does work for me but is harder in some ways #i do not miss high school but at least it got me out of the house some #at least I do enjoy christmastime. i like the lights and the vibes and the winter flavors and scents of things #so i have that in the next few weeks to lean into #like idk. i know how to deal with this. i do it every year. it's more annoying than anything at this point #like. oh okay. life feels like a cloudy grey parking lot. again. it'll go away eventually. #and until then i just need to be a Normal Person About Everything if i feel like it or not #hate that feeling of going through the motions. everything is just emotional grey static

[donttouchtheneednoggle]

realising you're trans is like realising you've been driving in a clown car all your life and infinite clowns of misery and uncomfortableness and dysphoria have been squished into what looks like a completely normal car and once they start coming out they don't stop

#me rereading a vent fic about chest dysphoria i started in 2021 #the same me who didin't accept i had chest dysphoria til this year 💀 #'oh yeah that was just a phase' no bestie you repressed it to hell #and once again i WAS trans in 2021 i was nonbinary i was just also blocking EVERYTHING out #mine #gender adventures with neednoggle #i need to be nicer to myself ive only properly known for coming up to 4 months #vs 21 years of not knowing #im doing ok #i think im still enby now as well #jus in different way #some of it is hilarious anyway #i mean how much transmasc fic can i both read and write over several years #feeling incredibly comforted by and connected to #in a way nonbinary fic did not make me feel #and not have something click? #just feeling like a bad enby™ #yeah all my transmasc fic? none of it was written with a jot of self awareness except half my bill and frank one #honeslty i think they were what tipped the scale 🤣 #ok enough outing myself for today lmao

[zevrans]

.

#i'm having that one in half a year feeling of deleting from everything and dissapearing into the void #but what makes me more sad is no one would notice nor care #i really wish i was more social but my rsd and my anxiety made me too secluded even on here #don't know why am i even bothering writing this lmao #i just needed to vent i guess #tbd

[neverendingford]

skyglow:

(alternative title: photo dump of a midnight desert run)

#photography #Ford's Art #color says shit #it was either go on a twelve mile run or re-download grindr and get absolutely blasted so I went with the more responsible option. #b because damn I'm feeling it tonight. or at least I was before the run. I need to shower and then I'll cook dinner and go to bed satiated. #I did also jerk off under the bridge and then piss on someone's flowers on the way home. gotta get those animal instincts out somehow right? #anyway I've successfully vented most of my manic energy and a cold shower will finish it off and then we're good. #the mood meds have been helping a lot. last time I got hit with this kind of a mood I came out of it with huge bite marks and chlamydia. #and I haven't been feeling it nearly as bad this time so that's nice. more like a restless dog and less like a caged wolf thirsty for blood. #yes I'm making references to Call of the Wild again deal with it. #anyway sorry to anyone who sees this from the tags and not because you follow me. you didn't sign up for this lmao. #also. this is why I can't be a binary trans woman. this night photography shit is the most gay-man thing ever and I enjoy it. #I was doing it before my last boyfriend but he got me even more into it. #anyway bye I'm gonna go shower and then eat food. I've been hungrier more recently. #between the meds and the hrt my appetite is bigger and I'm gaining weight with the hrt fat redistribution which is cool and good. #I want to be a healthy weight and maybe even a lil chonky? we'll see we'll see.

[neck-thats-made-for-bruising]

I don't freak about about things but when my laptop charger stops working I do

#I'm so fucking done with this #it sounds like it's not that bad but this has happened 2 other times in the past year #and it always happens when we don't have money #and chromebook chargers are supposed to last longer than a few months #my phone charger works on my laptop #but it doesn't have enough power so it runs out super quick and obviously I need it for my phone #I mean I don't use my laptop as much as I used to during summer #but still I don't want it to fucking die #and it's an old laptop but I don't know why these chargers stop working #and I know it's the charger because it won't work on my phone either #vent ig #lol #it's not that big of a deal but I do everything on my laptop #my phone frustrates me #ranting #It makes me feel so stupid that I freak out about it too lmao

[artnerd1123]

Everyone be proud of me ive gone into work all 3 days im scheduled even though anxiety and migraine have been kicking my ass and making me not want to get up in the morning

#I feel like throwing up from anxiety rn lmao. literally shaking. I brought my as needed med with me to work tho #so I’m hoping that kicks in soon bc. god damn #I’m doing my best I’m doing my best I’m doing my best I’m doing my beaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa #arty escapades #arty issues #vent

[sophiethewitch1]

in my hater era

#sophie speaks #tw vent #like. what. what??? #i do try not to upset anyone with trauma dumping or whatever but sometimes that bites me in the ass because people assume I'm not strugglin #struggling hugely #had one of my most violent meltdowns ever recently and it was after pushing myself to do something #and you know. thats on me #but saying like #im NOT trying?? #i dont want to start any problems but oh my GOD what do you think being sick constantly does to a person #what??? #trying to be a proper adult here but i am quite upset #idk how are you supposed to deal with shit like this #express this has upset you and that you are having a hard time #but then they dont believe you?? #trauma dump it is. hope you enjoy my psychiatrists notes #like im level 2 support needs autistic. i need a little fucking leeway or i genuinely try to kill myself #i KNOW its pathetic i KNOW its weak but my number one priority is keep myself alive #im so tired #ive been suicidal for like 7 years now #my life sucks so incredibly hard and I'm in constant pain and that just #it doesnt make me willing to deal with this shit #cripplepunk core lmao #cripple and im going to kill you #this is just geniunely upsetting #i feel like i need a good cry #i really am so tired #i feel like i just dont want to do this #why am i paying for this? why am i doing this? #if im not enjoying this why the fuck would i do it

[silenthillbunni]

.

#1st ​my sister was passive aggressive bc i was boiling pasta when she wanted to make her dinner #so she slammed stuff nd chopped veggies aggressively #nd i felt my heart rate spike nd my body go tense nd i always get clumsy nd drop things nd hurt myself when i get that way #but they think i deserve feeling awful bc of mistakes in the past so i cant ask them to stop #i've been walking around w lots of heavy things nd im barely keeping it together #nd i got so mad bc she wouldnt stop so i started slamming the cabinets nd then left when i was done #then my mom nd other sister got home nd i just wanted to ask my mom smth #when i open my door my other sister goes 'omfg already?' #'immediately when we get home i never get a break. it's almost disgusting' #i just got so.. i realized how pathetic nd childish i am so i just went into my room #but then apparently my sister said to mom that *i* was the only one being passive aggressive #so she comes in to talk when i was having my dinner so i said that i plz just wnna eat my dinner #she didnt know nd she's never cared but i wanted to hurt myself so badly i was struggling not to #but then she started screaming at me for being childish nd passive aggressive nd that i never do anything #she left my room. she still talks to my sisters so i know it's onlg me shes sick of #idk.. today is bad bc i cant talk to her nd i dont have ANYONE else to talk to im all alone #and now i barely even wanna go outside my room bc apparently my family thinks i wnna mess w them just for going to the bathroom lmao #i hate myself so much. im so pathetic. im 25yrs old living at home being a burden #nd im just a pathetic nd childish person. i 'need' to talk nd vent nd rant nd #like if i buy some things i have these need to like do a mini haul or if i get books from the library #i wnna show my mom what books i got #it's so childish. i do feel bad for my mom to have to deal w me nd my annoying personality #why cant i jusy be normal. no wonder why i can never keep friends or my family doesnt wnna talk to me. everything abt me fkn sucks #anyway im just feeling so bad and so alone bc my moms mad at me so now i have no one to talk to

[lavampira]

:c

#god i wish tumblr had circles so i could be melodramatic into the void. anyway. just need to vent about parent stuff #trying not to let the week’s build up finally imploding before i got in bed ruin the otherwise fun night i’ve had tho #my home life is miserable and i feel so stuck but i also feel guilty and ungrateful for it #i love my parents and they’ve done sm for me that i don’t have to deal with bc i moved back in to help them #but things with my mom are getting harder and idk how to live like this. and there’s nothing i can do. lmao #the life and times

[m-e-w-666]

i’m so tired i feel like no one around me wants to talk about palestine and i’m tired of trying to make people care, i’m a bit tired in general so i think i need a week or so of break

#i’m taking a break from going to protests #it’s physically exhausting #but i’ll get right back into it once i recover #been to too many things in a short timespan #but god it feels like i’m screaming into the void #i’ve stopped sharing things about palestine cuz ik the ppl that don’t care won’t see it #i want to scream at people to care just a little bit #like it makes me sad to look at the literal babies dying but like god we gotta do something like literally anything #and i don’t feel like i can vent except to maybe 2-3 people i know #cuz i’d be seen as bitchy #so i’m putting it out there on tumblr where everyone can see it lmao #my personal diary with countless strangers watching #idk #maybe i just need a break #don’t lose hope about it

[cahootings]

.

#okay I have had one very good venting convo to industry colleague bff about interview consequence anxieties #and I feel like I was just exorcised. #I needed that #anyway I am feeling mostly prepared for the interview #and mostly somewhat prepared to deal with the aftermath whatever it may be #and a little less alone #and honestly just ready for the relief of being out of this limbo #it was a year and a half of application limbo #and almost four months of interview limbo #and it has really fucked me up in every way lmao !!!!! like I am at least medicated now but christ alive #anyway. cheers