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#but maybe i'm just crazy idk lmao
sga-owns-my-soul · 3 months
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me, seeing someone obsess over a Generic White Man: pfft he's not even that good looking
me, looking at another Generic White Man who happens to be My Blorbo: wow there's never been another person quite as perfect as you 😍😍
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mildmayfoxe · 2 months
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yknow it is crazy to think about how much i have been able to improve my quality of life by selling art as a supplementary form of income. like obviously it's a second job and it's taxing but it's also so rewarding to know how much people enjoy my work and how much good it is doing me to like, feel like i can buy snacks at the store. to be able to get takeout every once in a while. like obviously those are extremely minor changes or things most people take for granted but to me it's huge. having berries in the house when they're out of season and more expensive. buying things for CONVENIENCE??! it feels so crazy to me to have such a sense of luxury which i know says more about the bleak feeling of poverty that's followed me around my entire adult life than anything else but i feel so much gratitude that i am afforded these small luxuries at least in part because of people that like my art. not to mention how nice is is to make things consistently again when, prior to 2020, i hadn't made art regularly in almost a decade. anyway. it's cool!
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ecoamerica · 23 days
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youtube
Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared
The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!
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chrisbangs · 4 months
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hello... (and bye ig 👋)
#👋😭 hi...#i haven't come on in about a month and i didn't realize a month passed by like that... i've kinda stopped using any apps on my phone#i barely even talk to my friends anymore lol 😭#i just saw my follower count this morning and realized i hit 13k and i was like 🥸 huh...#uhhhhhhh 😭 idk i wanted to say thank you i guess 🫂#i'm done with stayblr and tumblr in general 😭 this much has been obvious for a while now... i tried to fit myself back in during 5star but#i think i realized i've outgrown the vibes here and in online spaces in general... i don't really enjoy it anymore 😭 which is weird cause#i've used tumblr since i was in middle school so 🫡 end of an era some would say...#i think it sucks because i don't have the same feelings about this place or skz or anything in my life right now... i tried to ignore it bu#it's so obvious now that the entirety of december passed without me really talking to a single person / without me using social media /#without me really doing much except for like homework and assignments lmao#i think genuinely i've stopped enjoying everything i used to like and i don't know why 😭 it hit me the other day bc i don't even enjoy#pc collecting anymore which is CRAZY considering how much time and money i've put into that hobby so 👋🥸 who knows what goes on#i haven't consumed any skz content since rockstar dropped 😭 and that also feels weird to me... idk... i would say maybe i'm going through a#depressive episode but i don't really feel how i do then... i think i'm just tired like i always am and that's just how i am now .. i think#i'm just not really interested in things anymore? weird but .. yeah idk😭 if i knew what was wrong i would Fix It sndjdndkd mostly i'm just#sad because i haven't been talking to friends... i keep ignoring everyone and not replying to any texts from anyone because ????#i tell myself i will do it later but i know i won't ... idk i genuinely don't know why i'm struggling to talk to ppl anymore 😭 i've become#even more of a reclusive hermit than i already was 💀 and the worst part is i feel normal abt it#i don't feel /bad/ i just feel guilty that i'm not replying to ppl bc i don't want to hurt ppls feelings... on my end i feel Normal abt it#like i ??? is it weird that i'm so detached from everything that not even a month ago made me so happy..? that's weird right 😭 like idgi#i don't feel (as) depressed (as i usually do) but clearly ?? smth is wrong ?? like ik i'm not a clingy sentimental person but ? it kinda#makes me sad wondering if i really don't care abt ppl anymore ... but i think 😭 it's also the object permanence issues that come with adhd#not seeing or talking to the ppl i love . not doing my hobbies or seeing the groups i care abt . makes it easy to not care or forget what#they make me feel etc etc ... i get it... but idk 😭 if that's what this is . well wow it sucks ASS.. cause i feel guilty for not feeling#anything at all ... 😭 idk how to explain that HENSKDNISJS anywayyyy 💀#i came on cause i wanted to say thank you for 13k followers 😭‼️ and that i probably will not be online anymore unless i really want to say#this was a really long winded way to say i feel bad but i'm done with stayblr fr 👋🥸 i tried so hard for the last 2 years to make it feel#like home again but it stopped ages ago so 🥹 that's ok.. i still cherish my memories here 🫂 anyway thanku and sjsjsksksks bye i guess 😭#who knows maybe i'll enjoy it one day again and come back :') never know what the future holds 🫡
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lanternsong · 7 months
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@stygicniron / starter call (accepting!)
"I wouldn't go in there if I were you." A rustle in the trees overhead reveals not the craftily perched girl the voice implies, but a bluebird, giving its body a fierce little shake that ruffles its feathers. When it looks at the boy, it doesn't move like a bird — doesn't twitch, doesn't bob. It is too still, too slow in its movement. The manner, like the voice, uncannily evokes a human. "I mean, I'm not you. And you can do what you like. But if it were me," she says, gesturing with a wing toward the grove of gnarled, weeping edelwood trees ahead, "I'd want someone to tell me how stupid I was about to be."
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reploidbuddy · 7 months
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You ever get that feeling where you itch about posting a new fic but you’re not that far into it and you don’t want to leave your readers hanging because of your slowness so you keep the few chapters you got tucked in but it also makes you go crazy?
Extra strong when you're like me aka the type of writer to finish everything before posting.
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vvanessaives · 1 year
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me doing completely normal things vs. my mother telling me to not do them since i was 5 y/o bc "that's smth men do"
#rena.txt#well maybe i'm a girl i'm a boy i'm a squid in this giant aquarium called earth!!!!#and i'm talking about such normal things. when i was 5 she gave me shit bc i really liked a movie we had on videotape that in her opinion#was 'for boys'. it's crazy how some things of your childhood stick with u forever it's like i can still hear her say 'you shouldn't watch#that it's for boys'. it was a silly movie about robots or smth like that. and to this day she still gives me shit for my hair and says#they are too short. when i was 17 she said 'with hair like that you look like a boy. no man will ever want you' WHO TF CARES!!!!!#i've been dipping into randomly using he/him in italian for myself lately. he/she/whatever the fuck bc we don't have they in italian. yea#idk what's up with all of that and tbh i'm scared of a journey about discovering gender just as i was scared when i began discovering my#sexuality. like gun pointed at my head if you asked me to pick a pronouns i would tell u to pull the trigger. that's why i don't have any#on my profile/bio but the absence also makes me upset bc then i'm scared that ppl will just assume i use she/her and like. tbh i don't mind#any pronouns but the idea that someone would immediately pick she for me makes me sick. i don't feel like a woman i don't feel like a man i#feel like nothing at all but also much more than the stupid gender binary shit. idk i'm scared of calling myself nb i'm scared of discovery#ok i began crying after typing this i guess that i care about this more than i thought ops lmao
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j-esbian · 1 year
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thinking about the time i was criticizing a male fantasy author for not including many female characters (and all but one were incredibly generic) and people were really like "be nice to the author, he's said he doesn't know many women in real life :/" like. yeah i can tell
#mine#delete later#cause im not trying to start shit#it was on tiktok so like all of that tracks lmao. i dont know if that's even true but if so. INSANE.#idk what made me think of this#but my dude if youre in your 40s thats not an excuse#tbh i feel like the book in question would have been completely forgettable and id just kind of roll my eyes and move on#if not for the fact that people whose taste i trust!!!!! recommended it!!!!#like what the fuck. the betrayal#like im still driving myself crazy thinking about it years later and trying to figure out what i'm missing#honestly could not say if the rest of the book was good bc imo the way the narration treated the female characters was too distracting#'this one is Mom. that's her whole personality.'#'this one is the hot older woman but she likes me anyway bc im the specialest smartest boy in school.#it's weird cause there's barely any women at this school anyway. she even tried to seduce me but im too in love with Main Love Interest'#'this one is the Main Love Interest and she's so pretty and sexy everyone wants to be with her. she has a tragic secret past#she wont tell me why but we cant be together and she also spends most of the book seducing other men. But I Know She Doesnt Mean It#i will learn her secret and wear her down so we can be together because we vibed pretty well a few years ago'#and then there's the cRaZy OnE#and that's it. those are the only female characters#apparently the last one has gotten her own book. maybe that's what people praise this guy for? but i am not willing to give it a chance lol#p****** r******* meet me in the pit
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swxppedshitposts · 2 years
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https://picrew.me/image_maker/140200
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I made a picrew of Louise & Alex being mad at each other bc let’s face it, despite her being one of his oldest friends, he is constantly incensed by her behaviour lmao
#don't get me wrong he cares about her as a friend but like. I don't think he could spend more than a week at a time w/ her asdgh#probably mostly bc she does what she wants even if it's completely against all logic#and she requires a lot of babysitting despite being just 1 year younger than Alex lol#thank fuck the men + women were kept separate at the hospital bc I think he would have killed her GLKGDFKLF#but yeah they were allowed to mix outside if they were deemed safe enough to do so#i just made the sudden realisation that Alex preferred to hang around with women instead of other men??#like when i think of the other NPCs I have/had who were friends of Alex's in the hospital#They were mainly all women???#Lmao I don't blame him though women are way less threatening kldgkgdf#Also idk I guess it makes sense bc he would only get to talk to them sometimes when they were allowed?#So I guess he would usually see his male friends back inside#ACTUALLY now I'm getting way too deep into headcanons but also now that I think about it he was mostly abused by men growing up#So I can see why he'd naturally gravitate towards women#Also bc he obviously chose to spend as much time w/ Serenity as he could n she'd always have her female around her lol#Pretty sure they all like... just decided as a group to adopt him lmao !! :')#Also maybe bc during that time he was one of the only men there who didn't dismiss them for female hysteria or like .. doing sex work lol#It's still wild to me that women were locked up and deemed mentally unstable for doing sex work klglgkfgf#LIKE OH SORRY I HAVE ROCKIN TIDDIES???? GUESS I'M MAD LMFAO !!!#Sorry ma'am u have female disease therefore u will lose ur rights !!!#yOUR HUSBAND SAYS YOU'RE CRAZY AND HAVE IRREGULAR PERIODS SO SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR FAMILY LMAO#Ngl Alex was way ahead of his time in regards to accepting sex workers#Like don't get me wrong he would NEVER go to one LMAO#But they were his friends and probably some of the nicest people he's met so!!!#Louise just happens to get on his nerves for various other reasons kglfdklgfd#Like being fucking ANNOYING !!!!!!
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scare-ard--sleigh · 2 months
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also saying this is so earnest that it makes me wanna vom but i like,,,, miss being in a fandom where people like my ocs as much as i do wwweehhh
#silver jelly#i'm 90000000% talking about arch*r and honestly i need to just rewatch and get back into it full swing y'all are so supportive and kind <3#like idk i don't want to sound ungrateful for the people who Do like/are interested in my op oc i just...........#okay. i really enjoy hearing about people's ocs i really really honestly do; it is for real one of my favorite things.#i'm a storyteller and i LOVE stories; i would be dead without stories.#and i really enjoy when people infodump about the lore!! but i dooooooo notice when i've asked like a dozen questions about Their Guy and#they haven't said one word to me about mine. and that's happening;;;;;;; kind of a lot with these new op people .#i just feel like theeee world's biggest tool being like 'so what do u think about my guy/this plot thing/etc' idk maybe i'm being silly.#and i should probably noooooooottttt be venting about that Here ashdjbfubh i don't think anyone's trying to be mean or doing it#on purpose i guess i just. i thought there'd be like a;;; click? maybe? putting this into words feels so stupid lmao it's fucking crazy how#much of my ego i put on other people caring about my guy. my therapist is nooooot gonna like that jfmbjgbkgm#anyway !! i might spend some time developing my guy and figure out if there's something else that might give me the feeling i want#i've worked so hard making a story that i think is cool and frankly;;; i deserve attention for it jmbjfgkbmg#maybe there's somewhere else that has better rapport like op is popular there's gotta be some somewhere for ocs .#god don't make me take up rp again i won't fucking do it .#anyway maybe tomorrow i'll watch arch*r and do some research (and think about how funny an op crossover would be <3)
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vinedvengence · 3 months
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Spores and Stars
Chapter 1 - Acclimations
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Chapter CW's: mentions of trauma, physical assault, potentially distressing trauma-related dialogue, night terrors/trauma related nightmares, grief, choking/asphyxiation (in a dream but still lol) A/N's in tags for background info
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Vrisryn was irritable, to say the least. It had been over a hundred years since the elven druid had last felt any anxiety or fear even remotely close to the levels of stress which they’d endured throughout the last 24 hours. Circumstances beyond their control had become a theme in their life long before this, but a being abducted by mindflayers while on a routine stop in the city only to awaken on their crashing nautiloid? That definitely warranted a top 3 spot in the stories of unfortunate events which had become such a trademark experience for them.
Surviving the nautiloid crash and escaping illithid captivity was only the start to their newfound troubles. Other discomforts and concerns took form in the shape of discovering the fate that awaited those who become infected with illithid tadpoles, as well as the strange companions they had reluctantly picked up along the way—the abrasive but adept githyanki, Lae’zel; the untrusting & mysterious half-elf cleric, Shadowheart; the seemingly clumsy but endearing human wizard, Gale; and the pale, snide high-elf Astarion, who Vrisryn couldn’t help but notice hosted unnatural fangs and two inauspiciously placed puncture wounds along his neck. 
How subtle, they had thought to themselves when his dagger pressed along their neck–right before they rightfully headbutted him off of their person. Vampirism and the undead were not completely unfamiliar subjects for a druid of the Circle of Spores, and while the potentiality of being in proximity to such undead didn’t particularly phase the wild-elf, they couldn’t say for certain that the other party members would be as unbothered as they were by such a discovery. They chose to act oblivious to the matter for the time being. A notion for him to share and a trouble for another day, they figured after he had agreed to travel with the group. 
Vrisryn was not fond of being close to people, and traveling with others was a foreign concept altogether. Circle of Spore druids were particularly known for their preference of solitude, and even among their circle, Vrisryn was considered a recluse. Despite the wild-elf’s natural charisma, socializing was NOT something Vrisryn found enjoyable—let alone comfortable. They considered such things a necessary nuisance. Between the circumstantial & personal risks that forming close bonds carried for them and the fact that they had spent roughly the last century relatively alone in the wilderness, they had little reason to welcome any opportunities to grow close to people. Any form of socializing or interpersonal connection was something that they had learned to allow only when absolutely necessary.  
Vrisryn had no interest in close bonds with others. The bonds they had forged with nature and the wilderness had sustained them more than well enough the last century. Companionship with people was not something they had sought for since their youth; connection and intimacy had long-since been cast out of their mind and heart, believing that such frivolities to have been privileges long-since spent from the past. Even when it came to acquaintances within their Druidic Circle or work, they kept most exchanges to solely business-related matters; where they could name many associates, they would be hard pressed to claim any being as something even remotely akin to a friend–short of potentially Psilofyr, whom they refused to acknowledge as such. 
No—the druid had not felt any sense of true connection or understanding since the few years they had spent recovering from and adjusting to their spellscar in a myconoid colony. They had found themselves in the care of the strange creatures and the mad-mushroom deity after the traumatic loss of their prior life to the Spellplague which infected their homeland during the Year of Blue Fire. Where it stood now, they had grown to prefer solitude, and worked intentionally to maintain that detachment from others. It was a choice that had served them well both in their heart and with their druidic work. 
They didn’t see it as a sacrifice, but rather, as an act of acceptance of their own fate. Death had made it clear where they stood in the story that was their life. And who were they to disrupt nature’s holy balance by protesting death’s decision, let alone for the sake of their own selfish emotions or desires? The bitter acceptance of their circumstances had taken a long time to adopt after they had recovered from their creeping madness, but once it settled into their soul, they found them disconnected from the reverence they once held over the living, as well as life itself. Being invested in other people was a luxury and a distraction that Vrisryn could no longer afford. They had come to find that their indifferent attitude towards subjects such as death, violence, or tragedy—as well as their general interest in the macabre—tended to fend off most that dared to seek connection with them, anyway. It was easier to remain on the outskirts, misunderstood, and drifting along nature’s intended course.
Now, these damned tadpoles and their ability to psychically link any fellow infected threatened all of the security and familiarity Vrisryn had previously found through isolation.
So: irritable would be one way to describe Vrisryn’s mood as they settled into camp. The first day of traveling with others had been treacherous and wearing. Between the tadpoles themselves, the forced acquaintances (not to mention the subsequent bickering amongst them–who knew less than a handful of strangers could find one another so disagreeable), the skirmishes within the decaying temple, and the literal skeletal withered freak that had crawled out of the sarcophagus in the crypt underneath? It was safe to say that exhaustion had crept up on the druid faster than ever.
Vrisryn was also clearly weaker than they had been when they were kidnapped; the effects of their newfound tadpole infection wiping away much of their prior strength and stamina. Some cantrips and basic first level spells were all the druid could manage to produce at the moment, and it was a miracle that their Spellscar wasn’t already rearing its head given the circumstances. By sunset, a migraine had seeped its dreadful way into Vrisryn’s skull. Whether it was from their Spellscar, the tadpole’s squirming, or sheer stress and exhaustion was unclear—but it had become disorienting enough that the druid had demanded they make camp for the evening far earlier than they otherwise would wish to.
Thankfully, reprieve was found nearby at a scenic spot along the nearby river. The druid had felt suddenly lighter upon finding the idyllic strip of land, and its vantage point and the stretch of woods separating it from the main roads made it easy to feel safe within. As safe as one could hope to feel given the circumstances, at least. They had begun the work of setting up a firepit and bedrolls before any further input from their traveling companions could be made, short of an abrupt noise of displeasure from Lae’zel. Such expressions had become white noise by that point due to the frequency of such exclamations.
Vrisryn adorned a smug look while taking in the sight of their traveling companions settling into camp for the night, recalling how much they had each begged them to move on and away from the scene while they searched desperately for their own headpiece and armor once outside of the decrepit temple. Each companion had exclaimed that the search was for naught, and each had shut their mouth as Vrisryn continued to procure bags and effects that belonged to each of them. In true nature, they had found their belongings last, after four hours of increasingly frantic searching – three hours past finding Lae’zel’s, Gale’s, Asterion’s, and Shadowheart’s own possessions. It was always satisfying for Vrisryn to watch others eat their own words around them.
Afterwards, Vrisryn wandered aside the river, leaving without a word in search of a shred of privacy as their exhausted party members hitched tents, organized camp supplies, and unpacked their personal belongings from bags nearby the fire.Hiding behind the mass of rock that separated this stretch of the river from the eyes of the rest of the camp, they stared into clear water at their own dirty, knackered reflection. The druid ran a hand against the top of the cold, calm river, just barely grazing it as they said a tender thanks to the universe for the reprieve of the nature around them. Vrisryn could hear the muffled, occasional banter and bickering of their traveling companions nearby; but it was mostly blocked out by the gentle babbling sound of the river mixing with the stream of thoughts bombarding their mind. Everything felt incredibly raw after this day, and they found themselves overwhelmed with the unfamiliar sensations and the sheer weight of the emotions of it all. Their lungs and stomach felt tight and tense, and the migraine had become nothing short of excruciating. They weren’t adjusted to feeling so strongly about anything these days. Their anxiety built as the implications of the current circumstances sank into their reality.
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It was most common for them to experience the symptoms and side effects from their Spellscar at night, particularly after stressful days. That being said, resting within the eyes and ears of others tonight was a huge risk. Despite their fatigue, Vrisryn worried over whether they’d be able to find any rest this evening. Typically, they were still able to restore energy from trancing as any other elf; but ever since they had retained their spellscar, they had discovered that their body required the type of sleep that human and half-elves needed. Often, this would occur after their more arduous travels, unnerving experiences, or grave wounds. They hoped to the hells and back in spite of the obvious odds that their body would not require such deep vulnerability tonight, equally fearful of if they’d even be able to settle enough to trance. If they did find reprieve only to wake their newfound companions with any of the side-effects of their Spellscar, who knows how those around them would react to such a thing? Especially given the events that had already unfolded through the day—they found it easy to assume that the best case scenario in that situation would result in being abandoned.
Usually the druid would be thankful for a chance at abandonment and its promise of sweet isolation, but the circumstances were too dire to take such risks right now. Despite their longings for solitude, they needed all the brainpower they could get if they wished to find help with this whole tadpole problem and refrain from turning into a mindflayer. There was power in numbers. Still, they all had little reason to trust one another, and these new associates would likely see no reason to stick around with someone who held such baggage and risk.
It could potentially even be fatal to show such vulnerability; particularly, in the case of the blade-happy githyanki who would likely mistake the unfamiliar Spellscar symptoms as proof that Vrisryn was transforming into an illithid and react far before clarification could be given. Astarion had all but started their introduction with a blade to Vrisryn’s throat, so they couldn’t imagine he’d be particularly willing to stick around at any sign of further risk or burden either. Though, they also felt he could be just self-absorbed enough to completely overlook any effects they’d endure through the night. Shadowheart and Gale seemed the most fond of the druid at this point, and while they had sensed a kindred spirit of sorts in each, they by no means felt they knew either well enough to place even the slightest bit of trust in their character. Abandonment was still far more likely than acceptance, and despite their nature, their wisdom of the daunting odds stacked against them made it impossible to justify any permanent disbanding from their companions for the foreseeable future. 
It’s also not as though Vrisryn could fault their companions if they did react that way in that event. The druid wasn’t particularly fond of this newfound situation either, nor trusting of those embarking on the journey with them–they too would be equally willing to cut off or cull any signs of danger or unneeded weight among the others at this point. Though, that could be the exhaustion speaking more than their actual beliefs or morals. They weren’t squeamish to the idea of violence any more than they savoured such measures. But any way they spun it, they found themselves at the same conclusion that these were still far too dire of circumstances to throw caution to the wind.
Vrisryn cupped their hands beneath the cold water, splashing it along their face as they stared out across the river, still lost in thought. The scent of vittles cooking in the fire wafted from nearby had grounded them back to the present somewhat. The sky was darkened now, with only a sliver of burnt orange-daylight left along the horizon as the speckles of stars and a bright, full moon washed across the sky overhead. The elf exhaled before stripping from their scale mail armor and washed themselves off quickly in the river, dampening their hair in the process but not bothering to clean it. Afterwards, they slipped into simple, comfortable threads that had been picked off the belongings of those they’d fought earlier in the day. Death’s blessing serves life’s purpose yet again, they thought to themselves reverently. Blessings be to the eternal cycle; may the spores of rebirth favor the fallen.
Turning from the corner of the rock, Vrisryn all but jumped out of their skin at the unexpected sight of the aforementioned skeletal enigma they had freed from the dank crypt earlier in the day standing nearby. The undead's blackened eyes stared intently at the druid, obviously having something he wished to say. Oh hells, they thought tiredly as they shook their head and sighed once more, approaching the creature with their arms crossed and a lifted eyebrow.
“We meet again, as predicted,” the undead greeted in its strange diction. “I shall be here in thy camp, for whenever thou hast need of my services.”
“Not to be rude, but… what exactly are you?” Vrisryn replied somewhat wearily.
“There are many answers to that question. None are important.”
“It’s important to me. Nature has an order, and while I have no issue with undead… Skeletons aren’t supposed to be able to talk.”
“Correct.” 
Vrisryn squinted in displeasure.
“…Are you going to explain further?”
“No.” His response was firm, with a tone cautioning to not press the matter further. 
Vrisryn narrowed their eyes at the undead before letting the subject drop with a roll of the eyes, too exhausted from the day to press the matter. He clearly wasn’t any threat, at the very least.
“What kind of services can a skeleton even offer?”
“Should thou or any of thy compatriots perish, I will cleave soul to body once more.”
This piqued Vrisryn’s attention immediately. A flicker of something between hope, excitement, and dread settled into their stomach at the prospect of such magic. The ability to retether the dead to life again, despite the circumstances? It was frowned upon within their circle to seek such channels, as it was considered an offense akin to stealing food from the mold and mycelium they worshiped. Yet, a part of Vrisryn’s heart had always hoped to find one capable of such skills… after all, if one was capable of such a feat, was there a chance that he could…?
“That’s incredibly powerful magic. Why is it so easy for you?” They questioned, failing to mask their obvious intrigue.
“Because it is my calling,” the withered man in front of them retorted matter-of-factly. “There is little else to explain.”
“You mentioned a cost. What is it?”
“A matter of coin, 200 gold, to be precise.”
“Could you… revive others, besides the companions I carry now?”
An unreadable expression passed over the wrinkled, misshapen face in front of them. Something between disappointment and understanding, perhaps even pity–though, Vrisryn themselves could not decipher the look. 
“No. The threads of fate have already woven thy story; I shall only offer aid to thy chapters' future, not those of thou’s past.”
Reality quickly settled back in where the flicker of hope had taken hold moments ago. Disappointed but not surprised, Vrisryn’s expression sobered again. They nodded curtly, wincing as their head pounded harder with the motion, tadpole squirming behind their eye, before walking away from the undead man and back towards camp. There was nothing else to say on the matter, and the being didn’t seem privy to share much else at the moment anyway.
Returning in search of food, Vrisryn found Gale was standing in front of the campfire, clearly brooding. Each companion had set up their personal spots rather efficiently. To the side, Lae’Zel had somehow managed to create or procure a whetstone and was sharpening her blade, visibly irate in her own right. Shadowheart seemed deep in a prayer or perhaps meditation, and Astarion had buried his face within some large, dusty book. Vrisryn approached Gale first, though they had only done so to obtain some of the food nearby, not for conversation.
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Just as they came from behind the wizard, he let out a deep exhale, and spoke:
“Go to Hell.”
“And a good evening to you, too.” Vrisryn answered sarcastically, bemused by the unexpected greeting as they reached for a serving of their supplies. 
“Hah! You’re a good sport,” Gale responded, before beginning his tirade. 
“Go to Hell. An everyday expression. So trivial, it’s almost meaningless—but we’ve seen Hell. It’s real. And it isn’t trivial.”
Vrisryn watched the flames in silence, taking a bite of the roasted sausage and carrots they’d obtained, unsure of what to say or where this exchange was leading. Still, they stood watching and listening to Gale intently, enticed by his sullen remarks.
“Devils, dragons, mindflayers — they used to be abstracts. Pictures on a piece of paper… What a difference a day makes. Now, we have tadpoles slithering through our heads like carnivorous foeti,” Gale turned now to face the druid, heavy and worried brown eyes locking with theirs. “That’s not abstract.”
There was a profound sadness and lethargy in the man’s expression that Vrisryn could tell was borne far before the illithid experiences they shared. Despite this, the flickers of orange from the nearby fire across his face painted the wizard in a charming light, Vrisryn noted. He had a comforting, charming visage, in spite of his pessimistic words and downtrodden aura. At least everyone in this little entourage is easy on the eyes… they thought shamelessly. Little victories, I suppose.
“We’re in deep shit, Gale; I can’t argue with you on that. Brooding will get us nowhere. Action will,” they finally offered, unable to spare any words of real comfort or reassurance at the moment amidst the waves of pain shooting through them. There was a moment of weighted silence between them once more as they both stared at the fire.
“This ballet of flames invites reflection,” Gale replied after some time. “But point made; you’re right. Let’s be up with the lark – find a healer before the wee one gets hungry.” He tapped his head with a smirk, emphasizing exactly who the wee one in question was. Vrisryn winced again as their tadpole squirmed almost in response, causing further tension in their sore skull. They felt dizzy for a moment from the pain, but if Gale had noticed anything, he made no sign of it. His back was now turned to them as he cast his thoughtful gaze silently towards the fire.
Behind them, Vrisryn noticed that Shadowheart had stood up from her prayer at some point during their conversation. The half-elf was eyeing the two of them suspiciously, though she turned her head away as soon as Vrisryn went to meet her eyes. Putting aside her seemingly aloof and untrusting nature, Shadowheart had earned Vrisryn’s trust the most thus far. Clearly the feeling wasn’t yet mutual, but Vrisryn wasn’t particularly bothered by that. Maybe it was the druid’s bias for clerics due to the deep gnome–Smilvi–who had helped nurse them both physically and emotionally, during and after their creeping madness in the Underdark. 
Favoritism for clerics aside, Shadowheart had proven fairly trustworthy and sound of mind with strong, individual morals that the druid could respect. Regardless of her icy exterior, they had gotten the impression that Shadowheart harbored a secret softness, as well as some sense of care or favor for them. At the minimum, she had at least been kind & respectful. She had gone as far as to show concern over Vrisryn’s well-being when the decision to recruit Lae'zel was made. Even if it was only due to their help on the nautiloid or a need to not face the odds ahead alone, the consideration was welcomed. Plus, they could understand her wariness and respected her obvious affinity for privacy. 
Vrisryn walked in the cleric’s direction despite the beckoning of the nearby bedroll they’d laid out for the night. They figured they might as well make a round along the camp to check in with all of their company before settling down for the evening. At the very least, doing so reduced the risk of being bothered by one of them with questions or concerns later. Vrisryn doubted they’d be particularly understanding towards any disruption of the limited rest they’d be getting tonight. 
“What were you two talking about?” Shadowheart probed in an accusatory tone as they approached.
“What do you mean?” Vrisryn replied, slightly taken aback by the cleric’s tone. That wasn’t a question they were expecting. 
“You and Gale.” She clarified, casting a scowl toward the man’s direction. His back was still turned to them, lost in thought near the fire.
“We were just discussing the next steps.”
“I see,” She said, pausing for a moment to cast her glare back towards the wizard. “I’d be careful with Gale.”
“You don’t trust Gale?” Vrisryn asked, an eyebrow raised in question. The man hadn’t particularly struck them as fallacious or deceptive by any means, let alone given them any reason for concern.
“He’s a wizard. All they care about is power.” 
“Well, I wasn’t confiding in anyone. I was just talking,” the druid replied defensively, shifting their weight and placing a hand against their hip with a look. The abrasive and negative attitude radiating off each member of their party was beginning to wear on their already thin patience, and they didn’t care for others questioning their judgement. 
“So am I,” Shadowheart retorted coyly. “If we’re to survive, we need to trust each other… You seem reliable. I think you know how important it is that we find someone who can cure us. Best if we focus on that.”
“Let’s not abandon all caution,” Vrisryn warned. “This is unfamiliar territory, and there is power in numbers, Shadowheart.”
“Caution is a luxury we don’t have,” Shadowheart sighed. There was a glimmer of approval and understanding in her eyes at the response of Vrisryn’s words, however. “Let’s rest and wake up at first light.”
“You don’t have to tell me twice.” Vrisryn replied as they walked away, shifting their attention now towards the pale elf with his head buried in a book. As they approached, Astarion clapped the book shut and tossed it on a nearby pillow. 
“You know, I’ve been thinking…” he started.
Oh, here we fucking go, Vrisryn thought, sighing and preparing themselves for this nights next batch of draining social interaction. Couldn’t they just get a short, simple exchange with one person tonight? Whatever was coming from this exchange seemed to hold promise of being particularly tiring, even more so than Shadowheart’s distrust and Gale’s sorrowful droning. Not to mention that they still had Lae’zel to check in with. 
“And I think there’s something I should tell you,” Astarion continued in a lulling tone. “Nothing big or terrible, just a… small, little detail about me that hasn’t come up naturally.” 
The pale elf moved his hands and shifted his weight in nervous contrast to his inflection as he talked, flourishing the words with his body language. Vrisryn assumed it was an attempt at either some sort of seduction, or perhaps just some form of self-soothing. His anxiety was palpable, and Vrisryn could tell he was struggling to figure out how to approach this matter delicately. If they hadn’t been so exhausted and irate, they likely would have provided more in the way of encouragement or support. It was obvious this wasn’t comfortable for him, but Vrisryn was far too spent to offer such grace to these strangers tonight. Instead, they stared directly at the elf with a firm gaze and a growing annoyance while awaiting his confession, wishing for him to get on with it and spit it out.
“It’s just that I happen to be a — ah, what’s the best way to put this…? …A vampire? A-ha!” His gray-white eyebrows were raised and pinched in anticipation, and an almost shy smirk accompanied his nervous laughter. His eyes looked similar to those of a cornered animal, waiting to see if they needed to bite.
“Well… yes. Obviously.” Vrisryn replied dryly, expression appearing unwaveringly detached and disinterested. Astarions eyes widened for a moment, brows raising, clearly taken aback by the druid’s indifference. He cleared his throat before dropping the expression and replying:
“R-right. Well. Glad we got that out of the way! So… Was there anything else?”
“Hmm…” Vrisryn pondered for a moment, looking up and to the side as their mouth pinched to one corner in thought. They fiddled with the ball of their lip ring between their teeth as they thought.
“I’ve read some texts on vampirism while studying within my circle, but I’ve always wondered how much of it was accurate. Many of the script on the subject is either riddled with obvious bias, or baseless smut. So, I’m curious – how does one become a vampire, exactly?”
“Oh, it’s simple,” Astarion drawled, still fidgeting around in those oddly flamboyant, fluid-like movements as he spoke. Something about the motions amused Vrisryn.
“Just find a vampire that will drink your blood and turn you into a vampire spawn: their obedient puppet. In theory, the next step is to drink their blood. Once you’ve done that, you’re free and a true vampire.”
“In theory?” Vrisryn probed.
“People think that the biggest threat to a vampire is a cleric with a stake,” his eyes shot to Shadowheart with a look of distaste before locking back to Vrisryn’s topaz and green eyes.
“It’s not. The biggest threat to a vampire is another vampire. They’re scheming, paranoid, power-hungry beasts,” Astarion bent at the waist here, leaning in towards Vrisryn at this point. His red eyes lowered and appeared hungry, as if to further illustrate his warning, and his arms spread around him in a sort of shrug as he continued.
“So, why would any vampire give up control over a spawn to create a competitor? Trust me. It doesn’t happen.”
“Interesting… Tell me some more about yourself.” Vrisryn demanded, their interest suddenly whetted by the first bits of vulnerability offered by any of their companions that proved to be a distraction from the tadpole still thrashing in their skull.
Astarion was entertaining to speak to so far, and somehow Vrisryn found that talking to him didn’t unnerve them as much as talking to the other party members did. Possibly, it was just a side effect of the high-elf’s apparent comfort at hearing his own voice in social exchanges–or, it could simply be because vampirism was also particularly intriguing to Vrisryn. Vampires had always seemed to them to be a new, potentially even superior form of being that tiptoed between nature’s lines of both life and death. They had been curious about the conditions and effects of vampirism since they first read about it long ago, and Astarion’s willingness to share with them had pushed aside their usual reluctance for conversation for the moment. However, Astarion’s tone had shifted apathetically and defensively at their probing. 
“What’s to tell? I was sired by a vampire named Cazador. Everything before that is so long ago it’s ancient history. And everything that came after? Well, I’d rather not reflect on it.”
“You must remember some part of your life before that?” Vrisryn questioned, unsatisfied with his lustlacker response.
“I was a magistrate, working to keep the peace in Baulder’s Gate. Imprisoning trouble makers– that kind of thing. I can’t remember much, truth be told. Centuries of torment will do that to you.”
Vrisryn had scoffed internally at the idea of this man as a judge; it was certainly believable given his attitude. Their judgment quickly resided though, as they related all too well to that last statement, and nodded once in response before continuing with their questions. 
“How were you turned?”
“I was attacked. A gang of vagrants-a tribe of wandering ‘Gur’— took issue with a ruling I’d made. They beat me to death’s door when Cazador appeared. He chased them off and offered to save me; to give me eternal life. Given that my choices were ‘eternal life’ or ‘bleed to death on the street’, I took him up on the offer.” 
Astarion looked down at the ground, his mind seeming to trail off somewhere else as he continued. 
“It was only afterwards I realized just how long ‘eternity’ could be.”
“Well,” Vrisryn responded somewhat uncomfortably. The air had turned a bit too vulnerable for their tastes now, and the bitterly sad expression on the pretty spawn left them feeling unsettled. 
“I appreciate your transparency. It, uh, may be best to keep this between us for now though, yeah? I had already figured that to be the case, but I don’t know how the others would react to the news of a vampire in our camp right now… everyone seems on edge tonight, and tomorrow will be even longer than today. We can discuss it more later; for now, let’s just focus on recharging.”
Vrisryn walked away without waiting for a response, eyes locked instead on the nearby bedroll and campfire awaiting them. However, just past the promise of reprieve, Lae’zel’s eyes burned disgruntled holes into Vrisryn’s person, causing them to shudder ever so slightly. There was no denying the gith’s menacing and intimidating aura. With another forlorn sigh, they moved towards the githyanki and prepared themselves for (hopefully) the last interaction of the evening. Vrisryn could already assume what the exchange would entail: complaints about the decision to make camp, an urging to hurry along to this crèche she kept mentioning, and a heavy dose of criticism over anything perceived to be unaligned with the githyanki’s desires.
“A monster forms inside us, and you think to be idle?” Lae’zel began to chide. “I knew your kind to be fragile, but I didn’t foresee the severity. Cease your chatter and be quick about your rest. We must locate a crèche.” “This crèche notion of yours - are you sure it’s our only option?”
“You would doubt me? I do not trust a common healer to extract a ghaik tadpole without killing its host. At a crèche, a ghustil may cleanse us - SAFELY.”
“Still,” Vrisryn countered, too tired to question what in the realms either a ghustil or crèche was.
“We’re hardly going to turn while taking a rest… are we?”
“The parasites inside us do not rest. Even as we speak, they defile our brains and warp our bones.” The strange, yellow-green irises paused for a moment, taking stock of the seemingly fragile elf in front of them before begrudgingly accepting that their alien companion indeed would need rest before they would be able to prove themselves to be of any further use to the githyanki. She flicked a hand as if to discard the thought from the air between them.
“Take your rest. I will stand watch. Should a single tentacle split your skull, I will not hesitate to end you.” Lae’zel retaliated. 
“Well, thank Ao for that.” Vrisryn muttered as they strode wearily towards the bedroll by the fire, settling into it and laying their cloak across them as a blanket. They were thankful to finally be alone with their thoughts as silence settles into the camp around them, leaving only the sounds of nature's ambience filling the cool night air.
At least no one has to worry about being bitten by the local oversized-mosquito tonight with Lae’zel keeping watch…
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Vrisryn had anticipated restlessness and insomnia when they finally laid in the bedroll, especially with Lae’zel’s promise of taking watch resulting in a perpetual feeling of being watched by a predator among the rest of the camp. The druid had turned back and forth uncomfortably for hours, the tadpole exasperating the pain in their head. However, exhaustion had ultimately won over both their anxiety and the tension of their migraine. The conversations with their party had drained them far more than initially anticipated, and their body slipped easily into a meditative trance once the comfort of the campfire and stars moving by overhead lulled their eyelids shut. 
In their partially-awake state, the day’s events replayed themselves clearly and precisely. The disorientation and confusion upon awakening on the strange, fleshy nautiloid ship. The struggle to land the crashing monstrosity amongst devils, mind devourers, imps and illithids which they encountered alongside Shadowheart and Lae’zel. The intensity of the crash after; a mindflayer’s burning, hateful eyes the moment before they fell from the ship and were knocked unconscious; Shadowheart’s strange reluctance to share any information about the strange artifact she clung to. The exchange of finding Gale stuck in his portal, and the simple amusement that had stemmed from snarkily slapping his hand before helping him out of his portal; freeing Lae’zel from the tiefling’s trap, despite her refusal to thank them; exploring the abandoned temple on the hillside, and the fight with those who had taken hold within. Then, the experience of meeting Astarion.
Unbeknownst to Vrisryn, their enervation had caused them to slip into a full slumber by this point. While their mind replayed the event, their subconscious twisted from a mere trance into a full sleep as a dream subtly wrapped around their mind. 
“Hurry, I’ve got one of those brain-things cornered!” Astarion called out from the cliffside in their dreamstate. “There, in the grass. You can kill it, can’t you? Like you killed the others?”
“Kill it yourself - you look capable enough.” Vrisryn felt their lips form dryly, mouth parched and chapped from the dehydration and stress of the day, the scent and taste of smoke from the crash overpowering their other senses. They were still wounded from the last three “brain things” they had encountered in the ship below and didn’t feel particularly inclined to help any more stragglers along the road. They were hungry, thirsty, lost, and irritable, and had shrugged carelessly at the pale elf before they turned to continue along the path in the opposite direction. As they moved, they thought to themselves how the dirt looked suddenly and unnaturally fluid; strange. Different. Wrong… What’s happening?
“Oh, and I was so hoping for a kind soul. Well, not to worry!” Astarion spoke snidely. 
In a blink, Vrisryn felt a cold arm hook around their neck and yank them in a swift motion to the dirt alongside the stranger. They struggled against him with a grunt, head panging from the impact, and attempted to sit up as a dagger was pressed near their throat in retaliation of the movement. The rouge had used a knee to pin down their weight near their calf, locking them firmly and uncomfortably in his grasp. Vrisryn glared from under him nastily as they felt the same flash of panic overtake their whole body as it had earlier; this sensation was familiar, and while few would be calm with a blade pressed to their throat, Vrisryn had a uniquely personal reason to feel anxiety at the situation. The thought crossed their mind that this seemed far too vivid of a sensation for a normal trance, but before much more could be considered on a subject, they were pulled back to the dream.
They felt their head cloud with the sudden flashback to the last time they’d been in this situation; this was a stranger, but then, it was someone important. Someone close. A swell formed in their throat, which began to close around itself as their heartbeat quickened and a cold sweat broke across their flesh, body shifting into fight-or-flight. The slightest noise akin to a whimper left them as they struggled against him, attempting to roll out from underneath him quickly; but their movements were too frantic, too predictable. Astarion pressed them down more firmly with a hushed “Tsk!”, bringing his face closer against their lowered, pointed ear. 
“Shhh, not a word. Let’s try to keep that lovely neck of  yours in one piece, hmm?” He lulled, his breath and lips brushing ever so slightly above their ear.
“And YOU - keep your distance,” he spat towards Gale and Shadowheart, who were watching the events unfold with their hands atop their weapons. “No need for this to get messy.”
The events began to warp here; and deeper in Vrisryn’s subconscious, they felt the offputting sense that this was no longer simply a trance’s replication of their day, but rather something else entirely. If it had still been a trance, Shadowheart would have interjected here before Vrisryn inevitably headbutted the vampire off of their person and discussed things more civilly. Regardless, the subconscious awareness that this was not how the events had actually transpired did little to rouse Vrisryn from the distorted sleep. Instead, the pale elf in their mind nicked a part of Vrisryn’s neck, causing a pearl of blood to trickle down their throat as the features on the pretty elf’s face began to blur and morph unnaturally.
“Though, making a mess seems to be your specialty, darling. And to simply give you freedom is certainly more generous you’ve been towards others, isn’t it? Even death would be far too merciful for you, you wretched traitor.” 
Vrisryn’s heart sank as their eyes attempted to focus on the shifting presence over them; Astarion’s curled, white locks had changed shape, sprawling far past his shoulders, morphed and shifting to a familiar walnut shade; his red irises now became amber, and previously palled skin was tanned and peppered with freckles and thick, plush fur. The voice speaking to them had shifted as it spoke as well. It was familiar, but different – deep, loud, and certainly not Astarion’s.
Treolam, their mind cried in realization. Their dream self had formed the name around their mouth to speak it at the same time, but no noise came out with the movement. Wetness pricked at the inner corners of their eyes, and their blood ran cold.
“What could you possibly have to say to me, my sweet slaughterer; my corrosive consort! Come back to tell me how my elders were right about you and your allegiance!?” 
The apparition spoke harshly, but it sounded crude and particularly corrupt among the warm, playful, almost loving tone of the satyr’s voice. Tears began to spill from the druid’s eyes at the sight of him–in the dream as well as the waking world–and they struggled against the grasp atop them, reaching in an attempt to place a hand along the man’s bearded face to no avail. The pressure atop them was sharp and heady, and Vrisryn made a pathetic gasp as the blade cut a bit more into their neck, leaving little rivers of blood spilling from their skin. Suddenly, a thick ooze began to crawl across amber eyes above them in twisting, thorny patterns; first appearing as a bright-blue but then shifting to black, darkening them. A warped, wide smile was plastered on his otherwise pained expression. 
“I thought you wanted to see me again, Vris! Do you know the trouble I went through to find you here? Amuremsis bet me I couldn’t find you again, and I bet you thought you lost me again, huh? Oh, little love, I told you before! So long as the fey runs wild, I will always be able to find a way back to you.” 
Vrisryn choked at the reminder of these words; the precious and private promise he had sworn them in their youth was now being twisted and contorted in a foul meaning by this apparition. Yet, it felt so real; he felt so real. Vrisryn could smell the woody musk of him, feel the wirey yet plush fluffs of fur on his arms, limbs and torso against their flesh, see every freckle and callous against his leathery skin. Their heart ached to hold him, to kiss him, even in spite of his cruel words and the blade against their throat. 
“Treolam, I–”
“Shhh shshsh, you have to listen, little lamb, NO SPEAKING,” he interrupted, dropping the blade in favor to wrap both his hands around Vrisryn’s neck in a chokehold that silenced them with a whimper. The placement of his grip threatened to block and even crush their airways completely, lest they remain still where they laid in the crook of the satyr’s elbow. 
“It’s so important you follow these instructions! You don’t want to lose me again, do you? You still want and trust me, DON’T YOU?” 
The entirety of his eyes had glazed over with a slick blackness now; tears of blood streamed down his face and dripped along Vrisryn’s cheek as he placed himself directly atop them, pinning them fully into the earth beneath them, which had become the consistency of a thick fluid and sank beneath their weight. It had the same sensation of sinking into mud or quicksand. He removed one hand which now was smeared in Vrisryn’s blood, replacing it with the dagger once more before issuing his commandments.
“You can never forget me, you can never forget what you did. YOU killed us, all of us! You left me, and you failed to protect anything you loved. You always will, you know this. STOP LYING TO YOURSELF THAT IT WAS OUT OF YOUR CONTROL! You killed us all–your kin, your clan, your home. You broke us! You destroyed us! You ABANDONED us! You let me and Amuremsis go–you should never forgive yourself for what happened. You can never escape this. We will haunt you fore-”
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Suddenly, the crackle of a firelog buckling into the embers of the dying fire back in reality jolted Vrisryn from their slumber. Their eyes shot open, and for a second they remained still and rigid, as if the apparition from the dream still had them in his chokehold. Cold air highlighted the wet tears streaking their cheeks, and their chest moved with heavy, short breaths. After just a moment they realized that it had been a nightmare, and their hands shot towards the sides of their head frantically; feeling for the all-too-familiar halo of the static, icy sensation which they’d come to associate with the activation of their spellscar. Their fingers met only flesh though, and they exhaled the breath they had subconsciously held with relief before glancing around camp to get their bearings. Lae’zel was still up, keeping watch as promised, though she had been turned towards the surrounding woods rather than towards the party at the moment. No one else was awake yet. 
Luck is on my side tonight, they thought. 
They couldn’t have rested for more than three hours. Typically, they would want to trance for another hour or two to feel fully rested–but despite the nightmare which always accompanied their body’s affliction with sleep, they found themselves fully awake. Their migraine had faded to a dull, hazy feeling, which was uncomfortable but bearable. Their body still felt heavy, though Vrisryn felt that had far more to do with their nerves about being in the company of others and the tadpoles in their head than anything else. The others were still asleep, and based on the coloring of the sky and the stars’ placements, dawn was not far off–two hours at most.
Regardless, Vrisryn knew rest of any sort would be lost to them now, and they opted instead to take this chance for some well-deserved solitude before their companions awoke and their adventure began once again. Pulling the sack of camp supplies close, they reached for another log to add to the dwindling fire, as well as some bread and cheese to curb their appetite. They wiped the remnants of the nightmare induced cold sweat off with their shirt before switching back into their armour and walking to where Lae’zel stood watch. 
“Do githyanki not need sleep? I can watch until everyone else is up, if you want to rest a little.” Vrisryn offered genuinely, their raspy voice morphing into a yawn at the end of the question. Though it was extremely subtle, Vrisryn could detect the faintest expression of exhaustion on Lae’zel. 
“Tch’! There is no need for rest in the astral plane–sleep is considered a triviality in a realm where time ceases to exist.“ A small sigh escaped her mouth after the claim, giving proof to her own exhaustion.
"Though I admit that it seems my body will need sleep in this Fay-run. I accept your offer; but do not think me to be vulnerable. Even in sleep, I shall wake to tear you from navel to neck should you provoke such a need.”
“I don’t think anyone here wishes to raise your ire, Lae’zel. Go - rest. I’ll just be scouting the area nearby.” The druid shifted into wild shape before Lae'zel could respond, assuming the form of a red-coated wolf.
Lae’zel had looked befuddled for a moment, and Vrisryn considered that they may have never witnessed someone use wild shape before. Regardless, she walked away with another “Tch,” before settling into a bedroll within her tent. Vrisryn was starting to become more and more unbothered by the githyanki’s mannerisms and threats, figuring it was just the only way that she knew how to communicate. She was not the first gith Vrisryn had encountered, and what little Vrisryn could recall of the Githyanki’s alien culture was not for the weak of heart or stomach. The others the druid had met first hand were far more provokable and venomous than Lae’zel seemed, at least. 
It would be unfair to expect their companion to be anything but what they are. As they had told Shadowheart at the start of this, dangerous company was exactly what you needed in a fight – and Vrisryn had no qualms with the blunt or brutal nature of their companion, given what they appeared to be up against. It would just take time to grow accustomed to such aggressive reception, especially during such early hours. 
The elf turned their attention now to their surroundings, sniffing the air in their new form. The heightened senses from the wolf-shape flooded their mind with various sensations and impulses. No danger, though; nothing but prey. The instinct of their wolf form took over, and the higher parts of their mind figured they’d earned some down time to enjoy the canine form. It was comforting to be in wild shape, blending into nature fully and thoughts of tadpoles, illithids, healers, and the uncertain road ahead blurring as a new purpose took over: a hunt. The wolf was easy to be lost to, and Vrisryn particularly favored this form when they felt the urge to run. 
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It was the perfect form to take for this morning, where the need to vacate their current surroundings and the company inhabiting it had itched as uncomfortably under their skin as the tadpole did from behind their eye. Even in wild shape, they could feel it; though, the instinctual pull towards the hares, boar, and deer inhabiting the woods around the camp and the hunger in their stomach helped to detach from the sensation and its accompanying thoughts. Wide, heavy paws hit the ground in a full sprint and hot air panted from the canines mouth. A flood of scent washed in, and in spite of the worries that Vrisryn hosted, the wolf version of them hopped around delightedly, a playfulness taking over the form they now inhabited.
The druid spent the next hour and a half hunting in the woods surrounding the camp; though, they released each prey they caught. They felt no hunger for food, only for relief this morning. In wolf form, it was easy to let worry melt away and enjoy the innately optimistic nature it offered. They had nearly lost track of time frolicking with a fawn when they noticed the orange sunlight creeping halfway up the horizon. With a whine and a yawn, they shook their thick coat and stretched their form lazily. They allowed themselves a quick roll in the dirt, and after a few playful sneezes as well as a friendly nuzzle against the fawn they'd been playing hide-and-seek with, they began their trek towards camp. For the first time since they'd embarked that morning, they took their time walking along the woods.
Everyone back at camp had woken and began packing their belongings, eating, and bickering once more. Vrisryn's wolf-heart panged with an urge to run away, to return to the solitude and comfort of the woods nearby; but their higher logic still won in spite of it. As they returned towards their belongings, Shadowheart caught sight of them first; and to Vrisryn's surprise, the cleric gasped, grasping at one of her hands suddenly and looking utterly... frightened.
Granted, Vrisryn did forget that not everyone was used to wild animals just walking up on them. They shook themselves out of the wild shape, lifting themselves from the dirt and brushing off the debris before locking eyes with a now very-relieved Shadowheart.
"Sorry - I forgot you hadn't seen me in that form yet. I always forget that most people are intimidated by the presence of wild animals," they contended.
Shadowheart threw her gaze up and to the side, thick plaits swaying behind her shoulder with the movement as she scowled.
"It's fine, though I almost sent an arrow your direction. Best warn me next time you intend to take such a form."
Vrisryn nodded, and moved towards their bag to organize their supplies for the day and begin planning what direction they would embark in next. Lae'zel was rushing them each to hurry up, and Astarion was complaining loudly about having to start traveling so early. Gale was barely awake yet, sleepily munching on food and seemingly tuning out all else.
It appeared it was going to be a long day indeed.
to be continued...
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kuiinncedes · 4 months
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adgjfgh
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ecoamerica · 23 days
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maddy-ferguson · 1 year
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i don't think i'll ever forget that damn kissing debate first because it was an INSANE thing to have a debate on and second because it got me my first hate anon ever
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number1jeonginstan · 3 months
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Reader asking to tie a bow to it? :3
A/N: LMAO, I love this because it's so funny. I also was talking to this girl about this and we both started cracking up.
warnings: fluff and suggestiveness and some smut? idk man!
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Chan:
"You want to what?" he asked, confused at what you are implying.
"I wanna tie a bow around it, think about it, your dick would be so coquette!" you giggled as you pulled the ribbon that was in your hair, showing it to him.
"You are being serious aren't you?" he asked as he watched your hands make their way towards his shorts.
"Very." you replied before palming his soft cock through his shorts.
"What ever the lady wants, I guess" he sighed "Happy wife, happy life, or whatever they say"
"I'm not your wife though?" you asked with a perplexed look on your face.
"Not yet" he giggled before dragging you into his lap, kissing your lips. "Now what was that about tying a bow?"
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Lee Know:
"So you want to tie a pink bow around my dick?" he asked, lying on his stomach on your shared bed reading a book.
"Yes" you replied as you laid down next to him, batting your eyelashes at him.
"Are you crazy?" he asked, marking his page in the book and setting it down.
"No, but just imagine it. Your dick all pretty while I suck on it" you giggled, not wanting to take no for an answer.
"Is all of this a ploy to suck my cock?" he asked looking directly at your face.
"Maybe"
"You should have just asked kitten" he said, kissing your lips and dragging your hand underneath him, feeling his already semi-hard cock.
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Changbin:
"Binnie" you whispered as you laid on his chest, the two of you watching a movie.
"Yes bunny?" he replied, placing a chaste kiss on your lips.
"You know how I put a bow on your bicep and recorded you breaking it by just flexing?"
"Yes, you got so many likes on that tiktok, made you want to keep me all to yourself, you didn't let me leave the house for 24 hours, afraid someone was going to steal me from you"
"Shut up, it's not my fault you are so hot" you groaned, "but I want to try something else"
"Yeah baby, what is it?"
"Can I wrap a bow around your dick?"
"You wanna see Binnie's cock all pretty for his bunny?" he asked while playing with your nipple, causing you to whimper.
"Please?"
"Anything for you"
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Hyunjin:
"Babe, can we do this?" he asked, running up to you. He showed you a tiktok captioned "if he loved you, he would let you wrap a bow around it"
"Think about how pretty my dick would look with one of your hair bows around it" he whined, throwing himself onto you.
"Are you being serious, because I was too scared to ask you" you replied, his entire body weight pressed against yours as you were typing something out on your computer.
"Why wouldn't I be, I want to look pretty for my girl, even if it means my dick would be even prettier"
"I mean you do have the perfect dick for a bow" you giggled as a smile spread across his face, "I told you!!"
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Jisung:
"I need you to imagine something" you ran into Jisung's room, more like barging in while holding a pink ribbon in your hands.
He quickly scrambled, throwing his blanket on top of his dick, he didn't need you to know that he was jerking off, especially to you his best friend.
"Could you knock next time, please" he whined as you ignored him.
"Imagine this bow wrapped around your pretty cock, leaking with pre-cum as I lick it up!" you stated as you slowly pulled the covers of his blanket down, revealing his already hard cock slapped against his toned stomach.
"What!" he screamed, trying to cover himself up.
"Come on Sungie, you don't think I wouldn't notice my pink lace panties missing? It's the least you can do for me"
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Felix:
"I know you've seen it" he grinned as he manspread on your couch, with nothing but grey joggers and a tanktop on.
"Seen what?" you asked, placing the cake and coffee you had brought in front of the two of you.
"Baby, if you want to tie a bow around my cock, you should have just asked" he grinned, taking a sip of the ice americano you placed in front of him.
"What, how did you know?" you asked, tilting your head to the side.
"Baby, I saw the pink lace ribbon on your desk, not to mention you texted me instead of your friend on tiktok saying you guys 'had to do it on your boyfriends'" he giggled before kissing your lips.
"Are you serious?"
"Go ahead and get that ribbon baby" he giggled.
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Seungmin:
"You are such a weird little puppy" he whined as you slowly added the bow around his cock, sucking at the tip.
"I still can't believe you roped me into doing this with you" he whined as he stroked your hair.
You slowly released your mouth off of the tip of his cock, lapping at the pre-cum
"I promised you I would do anything if you let me do this to you" you giggled as you slowly took more of him in your mouth, the ribbon near his balls covered in your spit and a bit of his pre-cum.
"That leash is going to look so fucking good on you" he groaned before bucking his hips into your mouth, causing you to moan around his cock.
"Fuck, such a good little puppy, why don't you hump me while you are at it"
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Jeongin:
"You know how you have the perfect dick?" Your friend with benefits just looked at you with an exasperated look on his face.
"I have a perfect what?" he replied, his brows slightly furrowed.
"A perfect dick, like it's so long and the tip is such a pretty pink" you started rambling on, causing his face to heat up.
"Baby, can you please stop talking about my dick like it's something you worship" he groaned, covering his face with his hands.
"But it is something that makes me cum every time, ergo something I worship, and something I could worship even more if you let me put a bow around it"
"You are not putting a bow around my dick" he replied, his hands slowly coming off of his face only to see your pouting face.
"Please Innie" you whined, attempting to give him your best puppy dog eyes.
"Fine" he groaned, knowing all his attempts of convincing you would end up futile.
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alteredphoenix · 2 years
Text
Random thought but how come we can get a mecha spin-off out of Idolmaster before it even became an idol series but series like Love Live, Bang Dream, and what-have-you can’t get the same treatment.
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mypoisonedvine · 4 months
Note
"I think we're on a first name basis by now." with tommy shelby
kinda went crazy with this one idk what happened lmao
warnings: dubcon smut (18+ only), dark!tommy, innocent/virgin reader, very rough sex, implied age gap, possessiveness, dom/sub dynamics, touch of misogyny kink, degradation, a little spanking
100 random prompts - send me a number and a character!
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You only waited tables a few nights a week, just to make ends meet. You spent more time in the kitchen, actually, than you did in the part of the pub where the rowdy men would gather and drink and start trouble.
So, it was probably just your luck that whenever you were out there among them, Thomas Shelby was, too.
His eyes were always on you-- or it felt like that, sometimes. You looked at him, too: you couldn't help it, after all you'd heard. You couldn't really believe those things were true, that he was really that dangerous... he had kind eyes, you thought, and a nice smile. He looked strong, you couldn't deny that, nor could you deny the strange feelings you felt when his eyes drifted over your body while you wiped down tables and chairs. Your thighs seemed to press together each time he did that...
You almost hoped he wouldn't come tonight. As much as you had a growing interest in him, you always had this guilty feeling inside you after you got home on the nights you saw him. Maybe because, on some level, you knew what it was you felt when he looked at you.
No, he wasn't there when you arrived to the pub-- and you sighed with relief-- but your boss appeared rather suddenly when you stepped inside.
"Need you to go to the back room tonight," he told you firmly.
"Huh? Why?" you wondered.
"Just wait back there," he said simply, giving you no explanation, before walking away to deal with something else. Unsure what he could mean but not wanting to question it further, you went back through the kitchen to the back room of the pub.
It was small, and dark-- you flipped on the lamp, but it wasn't much to look at. A small couch, and a chair and desk, with various papers and letters strewn about. This was where the owner kept track of his records, managed shipments and costs-- probably where he kept track of your hours and compensation as well. You rocked back on your heels for a second before deciding to sit in the chair as you waited.
You couldn't say how long it was, probably only a few minutes, before the door opened and you stood up instinctively; you eyes widened when you saw who was stepping in with you.
"Oh, Mr. Shelby," you greeted nervously, "er-- what are you doing here?"
"I called ahead," he explained simply, shutting the door behind himself, "I told the owner that I wanted to see you."
You chewed your lip nervously. "Oh?"
"Yes," he nodded, approaching you but staying a healthy distance-- for now.
"Well... you can see me almost any night," you noticed.
"But I wanted to see you alone," he clarified.
"Does the boss mind? He must be working all the tables by himself," you wondered aloud.
"He'll be just fine," Tommy assured, "he's being compensated for his time."
Your stomach turned a bit when you realized Tommy had paid your boss to keep you back here for him. You knew then what he wanted, but you were still in denial about what was going to happen here.
He stepped up to you, almost too close, but you didn't have the bravery to take a step back.
He kissed you. It was far too sudden, far too forward-- but his hand slipped around the back of your neck and you felt entirely trapped. You did your best to kiss him back, but you weren't entirely sure how to do it well; you got the sense that things wouldn't turn out well for you if you disappointed him somehow. As he kissed you harder, his tongue slipping into your mouth, you whimpered and pushed him back by his shoulders.
It was an automatic response, but your heart pounded with nervousness as you looked up at him for his reaction: but he seemed oddly calm, not offended by your hesitance. "I-I'm sorry," you mumbled, "you just surprised me..."
"Didn't you want me to kiss you?" he asked.
And, well, that was sort of a complicated question. You had to admit, you'd imagined it before. But something about this felt wrong, even if you found yourself craving more. You'd never felt a heat between your legs quite like this one...
"You thought about more than that, didn't you?" he presumed with a raised brow, and you bit your lip and looked away.
"E-erm, well, I--" you stammered, but that was apparently answer enough for him.
He laughed a little, moving in even closer to you. "You're such a sweet girl," he cooed gently, running his hand along your waist as you shivered. "And pretty, too-- I know all the boys are lookin' at you. But you don't look at the boys, do you?"
You opened your mouth to respond, but failed completely when his fingers nimbly began to untie your apron.
"You just look at me," he continued, his voice getting a bit deeper as he finished.
"M-Mr. Shelby, I--" you started to weakly protest.
"I think we're on a first name basis by now," he said through a smirk.
"Tommy..." you mumbled shakily. "I've... I've never, erm, known a man before..."
He smiled even wider, the sharpness of his teeth seeming predatory. "Would you like to?" he asked, making your throat a little dry.
"W-well, I always thought I'd... I'd wait until I was married."
"Not all of us have that sort of patience," he explained, suddenly pulling your body flush against his and latching his lips onto your neck. You shuddered and whined, wrapping your arms around his neck since you weren't sure what else to do with them; whenever his tongue danced along your pulse, it sent a shock through your whole body and you whimpered with need.
You barely noticed he was guiding you back, not until he broke away and tossed you down onto the sofa suddenly, making you gasp.
You thought he would lay down on top of you, set himself between your legs-- but instead he roughly turned you around, shoving your face down into the old sofa at the same time that his other hand forced your hips up towards his.
You hadn't even had a chance to think-- he was already shoving your skirts up, yanking your undergarments out of the way, leaving you bare to the drafty air of the room. "T-Tommy, wait," you mumbled weakly, but he either didn't hear you or didn't care. He only growled lowly as he examined you; you both knew, then, how wet you'd become.
"Fuckin' dripping," he observed, seemingly to himself, though you heard him loud and clear as you shut your eyes tight.
He let go of your hips a second later and you heard him taking off his suspenders, but you couldn't look back at him with that other hand still tangled in your hair.
You heard him pushing his trousers down; you heard him spit into his hand and rub it over himself. You still couldn't quite process that this was all happening to you. What happened to that kind-looking man in the pub who would make your heart flutter by brushing his hand over yours? He didn't seem to have that sense of discretion now...
You gasped just from him pressing the tip up to your opening-- you couldn't even describe how you reacted when he actually shoved it in. (Yes, it took a real shove, because you were anything but prepared to take something inside you, let alone something like that.)
"O-oh, no-- oh, it hurts," you whimpered, wincing at the burning sting, holding on tighter to the cushion under you. "Tommy! Y-you're hurting me!"
"Shh, shh," he soothed sharply, groaning as he went deeper inside you, holding on tight to your waist again-- conveniently keeping your back from arching up the wrong way.
You let out a shuddering sigh and tried to relax when he slowed down. "I-is it done?" you asked nervously.
He laughed darkly. "No, sweetie, it's not even halfway in you."
He went a bit deeper again and you choked on a sob. "P-please, don't put in anymore," you begged.
"It only hurts at first," he assured, "then it feels good. It's what it's made for, love. What'd you think was supposed to go up there?"
He was joking, but it still made you feel dumb and shy, and your face heated up even more.
"I'll put the rest in now-- no cryin' this time, be good," he warned. Sliding deeper with one long stroke, until the tip of him reached so deep your stomach started to hurt, he let out a long sigh of satisfaction. "Fuck, nice and warm."
You were thankful he didn't start to move right away, because you were breathing heavy and fast like it was the greatest physical challenge of your life... it probably was, honestly. How could anything like that fit inside you? It felt like he was creating something entirely new inside you-- he certainly made you feel things you'd never felt before.
He started to move, slow and methodical at first, sighing as he savored the feeling of you. You shivered, toes curling in your shoes, trying to stay still and not tense up inside. It was hard to relax, though, in a situation like this... with a man like him.
Each thrust was a little faster than the last; he never quite set a reliable pace, just getting used to the feeling of you.
"So fuckin' tight," he praised deeply, digging his fingers harder into your skin. "The way this cunt grips me... she never wants me to leave, I bet."
He guided you to stay partially upright again, and you put your arms out under yourself to try to stay on your hands and knees. His fingers traced up your back through the dress, before holding onto your shoulder for leverage as he began to really fuck you. Hard. Still slow, but it seemed like he was only going that slow so he could put all his energy into each deep thrust.
You yelped with every slam forward, legs shaking constantly, the sound of his skin hitting yours making you feel a bit... filthy. All of this felt filthy. You felt cheap and disgusting and used. So why in God's name was it beginning to feel good?
He noticed the change right away; he couldn't have felt the difference that you did, the way the sharp pain melted into a pleasant, numbing stretch-- but he could hear it, your moans getting deeper and more confident and needier.
"See? Fuck, knew you were just a little whore," he growled in your ear as he leaned down over you, making you shut your eyes and moan lowly. "Knew you were a cockhungry little cunt like the rest of 'em. You can act innocent all you want, sweetie, but you wanted me to ruin you so badly..."
He was fucking you faster, a little more eagerly, trying to see how hard he could push you. You dropped your head limply but he put a hand on your forehead and pulled it back up, keeping you against his shoulder as he fucked you senseless.
"It's so fuckin' deep in you now, love," he growled. "Can't believe you made it this long without somebody breakin' in this cunt. And now it's mine, huh? Property of Tommy fuckin' Shelby."
You whined, losing the last bit of strength in your arms as your face fell down into the sofa's cushions again. He didn't seem to mind this time, taking a hold of your hips and staying upright as he set a brutal place of slamming thrusts into you. You cried some, but you weren't sure if it was from the pain or pleasure or shame or joy of it all.
"Nobody else s'gonna ever touch you," he promised roughly, delivering a harsh smack to your ass for no good reason except to make you jump. "Nobody else will ever get inside this pretty cunt but me."
You whined, but the way you clenched around him gave away how you really felt about the idea.
"You want me to own you, huh?" he noticed with a dark laugh. "You want to belong to me. Be my little whore, my dumb fucktoy--"
"Oh, Tommy," you whimpered, not sure if you loved or hated him talking like that. It made you feel a little awful, but you were so wet that it was running down your thighs now...
"You'll let me come and fuck you whenever I like," he decided-- or maybe he was explaining it all to you, the new rules of your life as his belonging. "You'll give me whatever I want. And you'll fuckin' thank me when I'm done."
You whined loudly.
"Yes?"
You tried to nod, but he grabbed your hair.
"Say it, whore," he demanded.
"Yes! Yes," you sobbed, "I'll be yours, Tommy."
"Good," he purred. "Hold on tighter to the cushion now, love-- I'm not gonna be gentle with ya anymore."
You hadn't realized that everything up until now was what he considered gentle... and your heart twisted with a sickly pleasurable fear of what was in store for you from now on.
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seraphmeraph · 6 months
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hi!! i recently found ur account while scrounging thru the bi han tag (theres so little bi han x reader fics 😭) and i love ur writing so i was wondering if you could do a bi han x princess reader? maybe the lin kuei made some kind of alliance with a king and he falls jn love (or lust) with his daughter? idk if that makes a lot of sense lolll. anyways thank u and i love ur work!!
i gen never expected people to really like Bi Han that much
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Bi Han x Princess Reader
MK1 short story with smut at the end starring guess who?? BI HAN <3
TW: 18+, smut at end, fingering, praises, suggestive, boobs, Bi Hans not as degrading, forbidden love
A/N: mb for this shittiness anon i tried LMAO- I feel like by now everybody should know i dead just don't proofread
Your father, the kind, wanted to strengthen his kingdom's defenses. So, to achieve this, he proposed an alliance with the enigmatic Lin Kuei.
You first met Bi Han at a banquet to congratulate your alliance. Your father introduced him to you as the Grandmaster of the Lin Kuei. You couldn't help but feel attracted to his cold and rough attitude, not to mention how handsome he was.
Bi Han's heart fluttered when he saw you, but he tried to push it deep away, feeling unfamiliar with this feeling. But as time passed, he couldn't help but try to be closer to you. He wanted to hear your rambles and see your beautiful eyes and elegance.
He would purposefully run into you, planning and taking notes on locations you would stop by. One of these is the royal garden, where you'd take a walk every day. Slowly, you noticed how often you would see the Grandmaster. You found it unusual, but you didn't mind his presence.
Slowly, it went from seeing each other to striking up conversations with him. He would often give you advice for your duties as a princess.
As you two grew closer, you would often find yourself openly complimenting him and subtly flirting.
"I'm aware you're a cryomancer, but does your heart ever get cold? Maybe my presence can warm it," You spoke, gaining a little smile from him. It was the first time you had ever seen him smile, and it made the butterflies in your stomach go crazy.
Considering he's unfamiliar, you are likely the first to admit your feelings. You asked him to meet you in the royal garden at night, and when he showed up, you began confessing.
The garden was very serene and peaceful. The moon cast a pale, silvery light over the garden, illuminating the flowers and trees. It was filled with the sweet fragrance of the blooming flowers. The pathway was dimly lit with the soft glowing lanterns, casting a warm and inviting light onto you both.
"Princess," He greeted you with a bow. "Is there a reason you requested to see me this belatedly at night?" He questioned, his voice gruff, but his eyes betrayed him.
"Yes…" You took a deep breath. "Grandmaster, I believe I'm in love with you," You admitted, wasting no time admitting your feelings. Though you were nervous, you were also confident.
"Princess…" He trailed off, unsure what to say.
You stepped closer to him, feeling your heart beating faster with anticipation. "Please, don't say anything if you don't feel the same way. I just had to tell you how I feel," You said, trying to hide your disappointment.
But before you could leave him, he pulled you in and kissed you. He backed you into one of the pillars, pressing your back against it. The kiss became passionate. All his pent-up lust for you is pouring out now. His cold hands were going to cup your cheek.
Your love was forbidden, a princess with a Lin Kuei assassin? Not to mention, you were the next heir to the throne. Your father would prohibit you from ever seeing Bi Han again and most likely change the relationship between your kingdom and the Lin Kuei.
A secret relationship between you both blossomed. Bi Han would often meet you in your chambers or the garden. Occasionally, he would convince your father that he was best fit to guard you whenever you had events.
BONUS
You would leave your balcony window open for Bi Han to climb through at night. This was one of the nights when Bi Han visited you.
"Grandmaster!" You almost exclaimed, getting up off your bed to see him closer.
"Bi Han," He corrected you with a slight smirk.
"Sorry," You giggled, taking hold of his hand and bringing it to your cheek. His excellent hands felt cold against your warm cheek. "I missed you, Bi Han," You smiled, looking up at him.
His thumb grazed your cheek as you continued to hold it. "I did too, my princess," He spoke, leaning over to kiss you.
His lips pressed against yours, and you both were locked into a fiery kiss. Bi Han's other hand gripped your waist, pulling you deeply into the kiss. His tongue grazed your bottom lip, gaining entry into your mouth.
Bi Han couldn't contain his desire anymore. Pulling away from you, he threw you over his shoulder, carrying you over to your bed. You giggled at his roughness and kicked your legs, but he easily held them in place.
He threw you down on the bed, got on top of you, and continued your kiss. One of his hands gripped your thigh, pushing up your nightgown just enough to expose your panties.
Your hands went up to his hair, fingers reaching his bun. You quickly undid it, letting his hair down.
He pulled away from the kiss again, pinning your hands above your head. His hair fell around his shoulders.
"You're so handsome with your hair down," You looked at him lovingly.
"Is that so?" He spoke, his hand trailed closer to your core.
You couldn't help but shiver, feeling his cold fingers touch the sensitive part of your thigh. He then let go of your hand, using both to pull the nightgown over your head.
You sigh softly, feeling Bi Han's hands run over your body. His lips followed down your body, stopping to give your breasts extra attention. Rubbing your nipple in between his fingers while sucking the other one. His eyes looked up at you, watching as your face contorted into one of pleasure.
His hand slid down to your stomach, holding you in place as he kissed your body.
"Tell me, do I have your approval, Princess?" He said teasingly, smirking.
"Yes-Yes," You babbled, running your hand through his long hair.
He pulled your panties off, and his thumb massaged your clit as the other hand spread your thighs further apart.
You bit your bottom lip, keeping your legs open for Bi Han.
He inserted two digits into your heat, the cold of his fingers giving you goosebumps. He began pistoning his fingers in and out of you at a fast pace, not giving you any warning.
"Bi-Bi Han!" You grabbed at his shoulders as he continued his assault on your pussy.
"Tell me how you feel, pretty girl," He spoke, his eyes never leaving your face, obsessed with your reactions.
Let's hope you don't wake the whole castle up.
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