#but like first of all ill go to work when im all sorts of sick but i draw the line at 100° f+ fevers | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

somber-sapphic · 11 months

Note

AheM 🌸 Im a secret lover for hugs so I’ll gladly accept and reciprocate :) and yep sorry I just fuLLy fully read the whole post :’) that definitely goes out to them and you and whoever gets unnecessary stupid hate. Heheh well if you don’t mind I’ll ask for something under this and it’s more than okay if you took like months just take ur time🤭 naw I’m sorry you didn’t have a great day, that’s really shit, but I’m super happy you feel better and hopefully today and tomorrow is a better day! And remember I’ve got two shoulders in case and anytime🫡💪 how’d you know? I’m like always dehydrated, dehydration is scared of me ahaha. But hey most if the time it’s always the people giving advice aren’t following it… so you better be drinking plenty of water too!! And as for the request, would it be possible to ask for a WandaNat with like pregnant reader or reader already recovering from a bad injury with prompts like ‘Ill timed’ and ‘ it’s nothing’🫣 if not that’s okay but ily thank you thank you your amazing eat drink SLEEP, take care of yourself please :)) <3

Are You Staying

⧽ Notes: Hi! So, I don't write anything for pregnant anyone, but here's a sick and hurt reader for you!

⧽Summary: Reader is injured badly after a mission, leaving them with an infection.

⧽Word Count: 1665

〔 Masterlists 〕

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

You were so, so tired of laying in bed, but your girlfriends wouldn’t let you get up. Apparently, when you ignore an injury for so long that the infection turns into sepsis you are no longer allowed to make decisions for yourself. Who knew?

Well, there you were, laying in bed, struggling to focus on the book that you were holding in slightly trembling hands. The large gash along your side was beginning to throb again, indicating that you needed another dose of pain medicine, but it made you groggy and you didn't like it.

You were already feeling sort of fuzzy, your mind blurring in and out. Your head ached and you were starting to wonder if this was more than just the damn lingering infection. Bruce had finally taken you off the IV antibiotics but you were warned that it was vital for you to take the oral ones on a strict schedule to ensure that you didn’t get worse again.

You rubbed your throat gently and cleared it, trying to get rid of the tickle that had taken up residence there in the past hour or so. It was when the first sneeze came that you finally connected the dots.

The pain in your sinuses, the slightly runny nose that had required you to wipe it every few minutes, the inability to get warm, the overwhelming feeling of fatigue. It wasn't the infection. You had a cold. You had a damn cold. Of all things, you had gotten yourself sick. Your girlfriends were going to kill you.

Deciding that it was probably best to keep them out of the loop, you put the book aside and curled up under the blankets in a last-ditch effort to sleep the bug off. Maybe if you’d noticed earlier you would’ve had time to get ahead of it, but for now, you would at least sleep. Putting off rest had probably not helped the situation. Fuck. This was going to be a very long few days.

When you woke you were incredibly disoriented. The pain in your side was so bad you felt like you wanted to throw up and for some reason, you couldn’t move. This was wrong, this was not okay.

You managed to sit up with a lot of effort but your head was spinning, the room tilting around you in a way that made you wonder if you should call your girlfriends. They probably wouldn’t mind, they weren’t doing anything important, they just had a lot of busy work to do. You were also supposed to be doing busy work if you felt up to it, but there was absolutely no way you could read, much less hold a pen.

A harsh fit of coughing wracked your body, your lungs burning in agony as your side screamed at you that you needed to stop, that you needed to sit still and never move again, but you couldn’t stop coughing.

You doubled over despite the protest of your body and hacked until you finally managed to cough up a glob of something green and absolutely disgusting. You leaned over the side of the bed and spit into the trashcan with an agonized groan.

No matter how hard you tried you couldn’t get a full breath of air into your lungs. Everything hurt, everything was miserable, and the world was definitely ending. Tears rolled down your cheeks which you were sure were flushed with fever and you were regretting not taking the pain medication earlier. Now you were in too much pain to get up and find the pills.

You managed to roll over and grabbed your phone, gasping aloud as you pleaded with the world that your stitches stayed intact. You really didn’t want to stain your bed with any unnecessary blood, the girls would probably be upset, they loved this comforter.

With pain blurring in your vision you managed to click on the icon for Wanda’s name and hit speaker, absolutely no way that you would be able to hold the phone up to your ear.

“Hi sweet girl, what’s up? Are you alright?” The woman’s voice lilted over the phone, immediately calming you down. She had a way about her, her mere presence, whether in person or over the phone, always served to make you feel safer.

“I-I need…Wanda…Wanda it hurts…” You said through quiet sobs, your words punctuated by a particularly harsh sneeze that made you cry out.

“Okay, okay love, give us five minutes. I’m going to stay on the phone with you. Are you bleeding? Can you check for me?” She asked, you could hear that she was running, another set of footsteps behind her.

“No.” You whimpered, desperate for them to be back. You wanted them to fix it, you wanted them to make everything stop hurting, you wanted them to magically cure your sickness, which Wanda may actually be able to do.

“Alright baby, just stay still. Wanda and I will be there soon. Keep breathing.” That was Natasha, her voice rushed as footsteps pounded in the background. You coughed and let out a sob, curling into a ball as your eyes and nose streaming. Part of you wished that the pain would just take over so that you could pass out and stop feeling it.

You had almost slipped into that unconsciousness when the door slammed open and you felt gentle hands on your cheeks, one of the girls pleading with you to open your eyes. You obeyed, but mostly because of the harsher tone that you were sure came from Natasha.

You stared at their blurry figures, wondering how much of this was the fever and how much was the injury.

“Hey baby girl, there you are. Here, just want you to take this, okay? Swallow for me.” Wanda slipped a pill into your mouth and Natasha followed it with a cool bottle pressed to your lips. You took a little sip, but the cold water grated against your throat in an incredibly uncomfortable way. Every molecule in your body was ordering you to just stop. Your body was done.

“Oh Y/n, you’re burning up. Why didn’t you tell us? Why didn’t you say something sooner?” The witch cooed, wiping away tears as quickly as they could.

“I-it’s nothin’, s’nothin. J’st hurts.” You breathed, already feeling the effects of the strong cocktail that was whatever Bruce had prescribed for you.

“Do you think the infection’s back? We’ve been making sure that they take the antibiotic, should we call Banner?” Natasha asked, speaking to you as if you weren’t in the room, literally sitting right there. Of course, you were so out of it that you may as well have been in space, floating away from reality.

“Y/n, love, Nat’s going to check your side,” Wanda said, well aware that you weren’t listening even in the slightest as the drug kicked into your system. She could feel the heat radiating off of your skin and was absolutely panicking, but doing a good job of keeping it under control.

Natasha very carefully lifted up your shirt and peeled back the bandage to reveal a thankfully clean, not bleeding cut with all of the stitches still intact. She let out a sigh of relief and kissed your stomach right next to the injury.

You sneezed pitifully into the pillow and whined, looking up at Wanda with big, sad eyes. She grabbed a tissue and wiped your nose tenderly, her whole body relaxing as she took in the situation.

“You’re sick, aren’t you?” Natasha shifted and frowned at the two of you, sitting right by your head. You shifted into her lap and nodded, muffling a fit of chesty coughs into her leg. The assassin rubbed your back while the brunette by your feet hummed her disapproval.

“Okay, Y/n/n, let’s check your temperature and we’ll get you some medicine.” The thermometer was still there since they had been monitoring your temperature for infection reasons, but now you had a fever for a whole new reason! Your body was trying to kill you for something new!

“Open.” You glanced over at Wanda and pouted slightly, nuzzling closer to your other girlfriend, the one who wasn’t going to make you do something that you didn’t want to. You didn’t hurt anymore and you weren’t about to stay awake until the pain came back.

“Just listen to her,” Natasha ordered, poking you in the face to get you to open your mouth. Your first instinct was to bite her, but she was too quick for that. The witch placed the thermometer under your tongue and you let it stay there, not in the mood to fight either one of the women.

The redhead you were sitting on stroked your hair as you waited for the stick to beep, unknowingly lulling you closer to sleep.

“102.4, that’s not great. Y/n, why didn’t you tell us sooner?” Wanda murmured, scooching up on the bed so that she was laying beside you, still wearing relatively comfortable clothes. You rolled over and pressed your head into her chest, mumbling some excuse that no one could make out under your breath.

“Okay babe, take some more Tylenol and you can sleep.” You lifted your head and opened your mouth, not caring enough to take it yourself. If they wanted you to be medicated, they would be medicating you. Natasha rolled her eyes while Wanda chuckled and she helped you swallow the pills before laying you back down.

“You stayin’?” You slurred tiredly, cuddling up against the Sokovian.

“Of course, we’re staying, dummy. Apparently, you can’t be trusted by yourself.” The redhead grumbled, laying down on your other side. She pulled the blankets up over the three of you and kissed your shoulder blade. Wanda kissed your forehead and you sniffled, snuggling deep into the blankets. You could deal with the cold later, for now, you just wanted to be held.

293 notes · View notes

turtleblogatlast · 7 months

Note

okay so just so you know, im literally in love with your prison!leo au, yesterday i spent like over an hour scrolling through the tag and i think i read every post at least twice (more for the comics). its combining ‘prison dimension has permanent effect on leo, and not just mentally’, ‘immortality angst’, ‘object or place having a form of sentience’, AND ‘leo is somehow made significantly younger than his brothers which very much changes their dynamic without him wanting it to’ all into one which is just amazing.

i love how you combined comedy and tragedy very well!! like, for example the idea of leo being mistaken for the youngest brother, than a son, then a GRANDSON, is kinda funny for a second, but when you think about it for more than a couple seconds its also. really tragic. this poor kid may never be able to fully grow up - not only is he likely going to outlive his whole family but hes also permanently in the body of a child, lacking a fully developed brain and maybe never having the full maturity of an adult (at least in path b, until hes able to find a ‘cure’, if ever). its just. so good!!

anyways aldjsldkksld enough of the gushing (i mean i could keep doing it for like two thousand more words, but if i did it would probably devolve into keysmashes at some point from the Grip this au has on my brain). i am curious, what would happen if leo got sick? i know you mentioned that things like a common cold wouldnt really affect him that much, but what about one of those sickness is that leaves you pretty delirious/feverish and can take you out in a matter of a week? (could be a type of mystic sickness or curse as well, where you don’t know if the victim will survive or not and the only option is to wait it out.) what would happen? would they sort of just decide that its better to find a way to temporarily kill him so his body could regenerate as new, or would they try to take care of him and see if they could wait it out, since i imagine it would be the only time he’d really let his family take care of him in that way. thats all assuming his body wouldnt just automatically find a way to heal the separate curse and he’d be well again within an hour (still not fully sure as to how his healing works, sorry!)

anyways, love this au and im going to be obsessed with it for the next Month thanks

[ cw: discussion of murder / discussion of mercy kill / risky behavior implied / ]

Omg I’m

So touched???

Thank you for enjoying my AU so much, it really makes me happy to hear this :’) This whole AU was thought up exactly because of my interest in the concepts you mentioned - particularly the one regarding the Prison Dimension having a permanent and visible effect on Leo.

I know I haven’t updated it in a while, but I am still working on it and have even finished drafting the next comic, I can’t say when I’ll finish it but this ask definitely pushed me to work on it more so thank you so much <3

As for your question- it depends! In most regular illnesses, Leo would get over them very quickly, only experiencing the briefest brush with the symptoms before his body throws it away, if that. If the illness is mystic in nature then things get a little more complicated, as you’re right in that it could potentially end up as an endless loop of the first part of whatever weird sickness he gets. So if the illness is something that instantly affects you in the worst ways, and it’s something you just need to ride out until it leaves…that can potentially be harmful. Of course, it needs to be a powerful illness to bypass the prison’s curse to that extent though. …then again, maybe something would prefer that for him, should it appear beneficial :)

As for whether the fam would decide to just…’reset’ Leo to get rid of the illness…that’s a tough one. It really depends on how long Leo’s been back, and even then, it’s not something they’d just do, it’s hard for them to even imagine really. More likely, a sickly Leo would merely try to find a cure himself in his delirium, and end up ‘reset’ along the way.

I hope my wishy washy answer was enough! And really, thank you so much again for the kind words, they mean a lot :’)

#p!l au ask #prison!leo au #murder implication #mercy kill implication /#risky behavior implied /#I swear I’m working on an update!#path A has turned out to be very hard to come up with a solid introductory comic for but I believe I finally got it 👌#anyway- ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️#I still love my boy and his undead self to death #even if path b kinda makes him very sans Undertale esque at times lolol I swear it wasn’t on purpose

51 notes · View notes

andraxicated · 2 years

Text

you only call me on the weekend

Pairings: Luke, Artem, Vyn, Marius x f! reader

Synopsis: what is it being like fuck buddies with the tot men?

Tags: suggestive | smut | angst | fluff | hurt-comfort

a/n: so this is the end of the milestone event thank you so much for the likes, reblogs and comments! please continue to support me in the future <33

im living for tot angst coz the game storyline updates like every two months wtf

milestone event masterlist

Luke

we all know luke is very loyal to his childhood friend and crush, perhaps a part of his recruitment agreement was to protect the girl he loves . he knows it's wrong; the way you're writhing underneath him as he thrusts harshly into you, your sprawled hair and open mouth looking so beautiful, he thinks you've invented some sort of love potion to enrapture him. after all, you two didn't exactly like each other during the secret nationwide project.

you're an arrogant, bratty, and know-it-all student who often gives subordinates the most trivial orders and unfair comments. luke finally put a stop to your reign of terror and brought peace to the laboratory full of shy introverts who were afraid of you. this got to the higher-ups and you got a good scolding by your relative who recommended you to join. luke's and your paths crossing doesn't end there, in fact, it just started when you were paired to support each other in missions and inventions; continuing for years until the project was partially done.

you've been through a lot together; you were there undercover in his first mission and witnessed how cool this bastard was, you were there running in the hospital because luke was sick, you were there when everyone got told the illness shortened your colleague's lifespan, and you were there when he was making a ring for his beloved.

he dared to try it on you, the feeling of the ring cascading down your finger made your heart flutter. it was an intimate moment between you two that you and luke momentarily caught glances, then looked away awkwardly.

the ring on your finger looked right, it felt right. the whiplash of time spent with you hit luke as he gazes at your moaning state in his bed. he does the unthinkable of intertwining fingers with you as he pistons and deeper into you. groans fill the room and you moan as you hit the edge and release. luke lifts and embraces you like a lifeline to bury himself deeper when he cums.

this was right, it was right to spend the rest of his life with you. his time with you may not be long but he certainly has enough to create another ring. this time it's for you.

Artem

if you're having sex with artem wing, no matter how casual he will always give you aftercare. he presses a light peck on your forehead before standing up to get a towel and clean you up, leaving you dazed from his display of affection.

at first, artem was against your proposal since he doesn't want to use your body for filthy pleasure. he's the type of man to wait and give his body in marriage.

yet, you would visit his house when no one's around, go up to his bedroom and pull each other for a hungry kiss. he would give gentle motions to your mouth as you take off layers of clothing. during the first months where you were copying what others did to destress, you would also teach artem what you heard from vulgar mouths.

sunlight would peek through his thin curtains as you gently move back and forth on top of him. his flushed face and little moans make you feel powerful, like the artem wing was worshipping this woman on top of him. so you ride him faster and bring a hand to one of your breasts, his member inside you twitching when you instructed him to knead it. in times like this, he would often think he's making the right choice of giving his everything to you. if the woman he's with now is the one he wants to marry; then sex just came a little sooner and he would throw his past principles.

artem would break the arrangement when both of you start working, he would say "we're not in school anymore" as he doesn't mix business with pleasure. that's when he doesn't see you reciprocating his feelings, but if he could feel that both of you like each other; then artem would take the next level with you.

once he finds a home in someone, he would want to be together with them 24/7. as celestine would say: "artem gets gloomy when you're not here, it's like the office got darker!" and he would hear the conversation, embarrassed, even though he knows it's true.

Vyn

it's taboo to fuck your teachers but nobody said it's taboo to fuck your therapist. on days when his special client was visiting, he would lock the door and greet you with a kiss. vyn hoists you up on the sides of his leg while you kiss him passionately and lock tongues. paper falls to the ground as he sits you on the table, thinking of punishing you later by picking up the fallen documents naked.

the thought of doing this makes him so hard that he can't wait to unbutton his slacks. two fingers brushing your clothed pussy to check if you're wet enough to take him in; a second later and he would push himself inside to hear your pained scream. your contorted expression appealing to his sadistic side as he provides a delicious kind of stretch to ease his darling. definitely will finish inside you because he trusts the pills you're taking.

from the moment it started, vyn already calculated what would happen if he continued this. he analyzed every possible outcome of what would happen in these kinds of relationships, his self-checks would become more rigid and long. vyn would never dive without knowing what he's diving into, he has to have a safeguard in case things spiral out of control.

you saw a lot of contradicting traits within him, you could read him too. he's manipulative along with gentlemanly, a passionate lover yet rational, he spews assuring words then leaves the next hour. vyn never stays.

it's all to keep a good distance between you and him; people often catch feelings in casual relationships and get brokenhearted due to unrequited love. vyn has already given up on familial love, but he knows that a person cannot live without it. humans are social creatures constantly looking for what's amiss in their lives. but he realized that love left him, then decided to come back in the form of you.

so when your phone beeps on a weekend afternoon, seeing the sender is 'dr. richter', you'd think it's the usual dick appointment. but little did you know that it's the more romantic kind of meeting, that has vyn taking out his fine china and scrambling for table decorations.

Marius

anything you want he will give it to you and after that, you got to repay him somehow. whether through a blowjob, sex, food, or just a simple conversation for him to hear your voice; nothing in this relationship comes for free.

you see, marius is tired of business, it's what his life has been revolving around since rising to the position. a money-lined monochromatic world where he only finds solace in his cozy studio. but suddenly, this ambitious girl appeared in his life with an unusual glow. your eyes were tired, face done, hair messy, yet marius felt a tug from you. it was funny hearing this from him as you sat across from him on his penthouse deck.

he thought your eyes held a special meaning behind them but it was just you fascinated by his designer apparel. coming from a girl who wanted to climb the social ladder, the urge to make him yours was strong. you could suddenly see yourself standing by him; attending fancy galas, vacations in the french riviera, and...a functioning family. it was all you ever wanted and dreamed of, and so you made use of your feminine charms.

that daydream eyes of yours were what marius spent hours capturing on his canvas. sparkling eyes, parted lips with an iridescent splash behind her. he won't sell this masterpiece though, it's only for his eyes.

marius von hagen falls in love easily and will follow you blindly. he hates transactional relationships but he finds himself pleasuring a girl that's not even his girlfriend. he feeds your fantasies when he fucks you against his glass walls while inserting a finger into your mouth. moans against your ear as he presses your lower tummy to stimulate your orgasm. after many rounds, he rests you on his soft, dark sheets and turns off the lights. one look from your begging eyes telling him not to go, and he will helplessly stay.

upon opening his eyes did he find out that he fell asleep looking after you. his head snaps alarmingly to the ringing phone and silenced it in fear of you waking up. marius peeks at your snuggling figure and heaves a sigh of relief; he checks his phone and saw it was just an irrelevant grubber which he deliberately ignores. he then places the phone back on the nightstand, presses a kiss on your forehead, and lets the fatigue take over him.

560 notes · View notes

agaypanic · 8 months

Note

could you do benny x male! reader where the readers an exchange from england and benny has a crush on the reader and to sort of cover it up he makes fun of readers accent but everyone can tell that hes crushing (idfk sorry im rlly bad at explaning) and one day reader sort if overhears benny talking to ethan or someone about him and realises benny likes the reader

if u dont wanna write this thats totally fine anyway thanks for reading :)

Benny Weir With a British Exchange Student Boyfriend Headcanons

Masterlist

Request Something!

A/N: despite having been to england before, i know basically nothing about what it’s like to live there so pls bear with me lmao also all the british slander is just jokes teehee. another thing, i’ve just realized how many times i use ethan’s house for the confession parts of fics, hope that doesn’t annoy you guys, it’s just that i feel like everything happens at his house lmao

***

The gang had taken you under their wings the minute they saw you

They were a group of outcasts in one way or another

You were the new kid from another country with an accent that was bound to get poked fun at

You fit right in

Kind of

Moving to Whitechapel on an exchange program seemed to be a lot less worrisome than you initially thought. For the most part, the town and the people around you seemed nice. You had even found a group of people who immediately decided to befriend you.

“Why do you talk like that?” Rory asked, staring at you while waiting for an answer. Ethan, whom you met first in one of your classes, answered for you.

“Rory, it’s a British accent. He’s from England.”

“British people are real?” Rory asked with complete sincerity. Everyone groaned while you tried to stifle a laugh.

“Wild, I know.” You responded.

They became some of the best friends you’ve ever had

Occasionally, they’d mock your accent or repeat something that you had said, but it was all in good fun

Benny, however, seemed to make mimicking your accent his favorite new hobby

It sucked a bit, having a cute guy making fun of something you couldn’t really control, even if it wasn’t ill-intentioned

At least you hoped it wasn’t ill-intentioned

“When is this due again?” You asked, not looking up from the partner project you were working on with Benny. You could practically feel the grin forming on his face.

“I reckon it’s chews-day, innit?” Benny responded in an over-exaggerated and loud accent, making you groan.

“I don’t sound like that, Benny.”

“Sure you don’t, bruv.” You kicked his leg under the table, and the two of you laughed, although he did so with a wince. “Don’t worry, I’m only taking the piss, Y/n!”

“Jesus.” You shook your head, going back to your work. Benny was a bit funny with his impressions, but it could quickly get annoying.

“Bloody hell.”

“Benny.”

“I’m real knackered if I’m being honest.”

“You’re a real wanker, you know that right?” You rubbed your eyes in exhaustion, both from this project and from Benny. “You probably think you’re being cute, but you’re being stupid.”

“No need to get your knickers in a twist.” You happened to miss the blush spreading across Benny’s cheeks.

It was getting to a point where you wondered if Benny even liked you

He was nice to you and everything, but his making fun of how you talked was getting on your nerves

You had no idea why he did it; none of your other friends did it nearly as much as him

Before trying to confront him about it, you decided to ask Ethan about his best friend’s behavior

“Ethan, can I ask you something?” You asked as you and your friend walked to class.

“Sure, what’s up?”

“Does Benny not like me or something?” Ethan looked confused, about to laugh at the question as if it was ridiculous. “I’m serious, Ethan! He’s constantly taking the piss out of how I talk.”

“Y/n, trust me, Benny likes you.”

“Well, he has the strangest way of showing it then. Can you at least talk to him for me? I’m really getting sick of it.”

Ethan sighed, waving his head back and forth as if considering his options.

“Fine, I’ll ask him.”

You decided to eavesdrop on Ethan and Benny when he went to talk to his friend

You wanted to hear the truth because you didn’t know if Ethan would relay Benny’s exact response to you

But the conversation took a turn that you were not expecting

You felt a bit bad for listening in on a conversation between two of your friends, but at the same time, it revolved around you. Of course, you wanted to hear what Benny had to say about your concerns.

“Hey man, so I was talking to Y/n-“Ethan was cut off by an excited Benny.

“Really? What were you guys talking about?”

“We were actually talking about you. Y/n-“

“Me? What did he say? Tell me, E.”

“I was getting to that, Benny! Y/n thinks you don’t like him. He thinks you only hang around him to make fun of him.”

“What? That’s crazy! Of course, I like Y/n.”

This was relieving, but it still didn’t explain his mocking.

“Yeah, Benny. Everyone knows that you’ve got a big fat crush on Y/n. Except for him, apparently.” You froze. That was definitely not what you were expecting. “Look, if you don’t wanna drive him away, maybe don’t make fun of him.”

“But I don’t want him to know that I like him.” Benny sounded defeated. He sighed. “Feelings are embarrassing, E.”

“You’re embarrassing, Benny.”

You didn’t know what to do with this new information

Obviously, you were happy that he had a crush on you

But trying to throw everyone off by mocking you? That made you not so happy

So you decided to finally clear the air with Benny

“Benny, can I talk to you?” You didn’t wait for an answer, already leaving Ethan’s living room. Benny looked at your friends nervously before following, finding you sitting on the staircase.

“What’s up?”

“I know you fancy me.” It was better to be direct because if you tried beating around the bush, neither of you would get anywhere. Benny froze, so you took it as a sign to continue. “Lucky for you, I like you back. But I’ve gotta tell ya, imitation is not the sincerest form of flattery, Benny. It’s honestly rather annoying.”

It took Benny a while to form a thought, let alone a response.

“... I’m sorry?”

“Are you asking me if you’re sorry?” You snorted.

“No! No, no, no. I am sorry. Really, I am.” Benny rubbed the back of his neck and sighed, moving to sit next to you on the steps. “It’s just… feelings are weird and, like, kind of embarrassing, and I didn’t know how to act around you.”

“You’re kind of embarrassing, Benny.” he had a look of recognition, probably remembering his conversation with Ethan. But before he could say anything about it, you patted his thigh and, feeling bold, kissed his cheek. “Luckily, you’re cute. So I’ll let it slide.”

#benny weir x reader #benny weir headcanons #benny weir x male reader #benny weir #my babysitter's a vampire x reader #my babysitter's a vampire #agaypanic

31 notes · View notes

pommunist · 7 days

Note

I do wonder a little if the very different reactions to Pomme and Dapper's beds being included in the stream might in part be like... a difference in people used to seeing a new admin play an egg? The situations are very different and that should be acknowledged and looked at and even if as is likely the case QStudios owns all rights to the NPCs created for QSMP it would feel extremely icky to me to give Pomme especially a new admin. But at the same time... I do wonder if people more used to say, Chayanne, who has had 2 different main admins and been played by 4 or 5 different admins regularly enough the different forms have nicknames are more... accepting of the idea? Because the idea of an egg belonging only to the one actor is less comprehensible to them, as it's not what they're used to? Ramón's situation might be closer, but again 2 admins at least. Im almost certain I've seen Tallulah played by someone else when her admin was sick, and I've no doubt some of the other eggs have occassionally been played by others due to admin illness even if not long term.

(This is not to say it's main the issue (even without eggs being acted Sunny's admin should have known what was happening just for bigger issues with the stream alone - admin health and treatment is far more important than what they provide) I'm just. Trying to think of reasons why reactions I saw were as polarised as they were, with half my dash treating it like parading a corpse in the street and the other half like this was entirely expected and normal.)

Oh that’s a good question anon !!

First, the ownership of the characters is a tricky point that I don’t have an answer to as intellectual property laws are extremely complicated and not something I know much about tbh.

And on the topic of admin change, I think public reception depends a lot of the cause of said change : For example, when Ramon switched admins, huevitos were perfectly fine with it as it was assumed that the OG had taken a break for studying purposes so it was not a problem (turns out they were fired 🥲). It’s the same whenever an admin steps up to punctually or long term play another character because their admin is too busy with irl stuff, other work within Qstudios, is sick…. (like what I assume happened for Chayanne)

Pomme’s situation is different because of Lumi’s circumstances and the fact that she asked for her character to end with her leaving. Plus the fact that CCs have said before that they didnt want her to be replaced, even before that whole situation, I remember at least Antoine saying he would rather have Pomme dead than be played by someone else. I’d say the french speaking side got quite attached to her as, with all the sidelining we went through, both her character and admin were our only beacon of representation within Qstudios/QSMP 🥹

Also something that makes me kinda ehhhh about saying that there are people who are completely fine with admins changes because their fav character went through at least one is remembering the whole Pepito/otipep mess that had people go mad because Pepito had an admin change for a few days and they didn’t like the "new personnality" or whatever ? (Couldn’t tell the details of it as my spanish suck and Roier often streams in the middle of the night for me, but I remember the twitter shit storm)

Finally about the eggs being like kidnapped and in a coma (I think ? didn’t watch the stream) I guess it’s an okay way to put them on hold while sorting things out + an opportunity to explain in lore if you have to kill some because no more admins ? Or at least it would have been okay if all the eggs admins still working would have been made aware that their characters was being put on hold 😀

12 notes · View notes

mostlymaudlin · 6 months

Text

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers 💫

thank you @decaflondonfog for the tag !! ill tag @sillyunicorn @starwarned @urban-sith @tea-brigade

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

98!! (woah) plus an unrevealed t&n fest fic, so 99. wow i need to do something rly crazy for 100 lol. what if i do a ridiculous crossover of all my fandoms and everyone in the fandom tags will hate me.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

544,914. (again. woagh)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

mostly all for the game and simon snow series, have dabbled in & posted even less for check please, captain america, and one direction! i feel like i’m missing something but regardless my fixations are hardcore, so all except like 4k of that posted wc is for either aftg or ss hahahha

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

all are andreil! boyfriend privileges (4k, T) / Trigger (62k, E) / flashes of intimacy (10k, t) / Would you still love me if I was a worm? (6k, T) / Inside Thoughts (1k,T)

man this is long, rest is going under the cut lol

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

not very often, but i wish i did. i am stricken with a combination of being really awkward when people are nice to me & being bad at interacting with anyone in ways i fear could be perceived as ingenuine. im not sure if that makes sense LMAO. and sometimes when i put a story out, i kind of feel like i’ve said my piece — i’ve put so much into it that i don’t really know what else to say!

anyway, i always reply to questions, because that’s got clear social boundaries hahaha, and i DO love talking abt my stories!! and sometimes i’ll reply to comments that really get me thinking. but yeah, i know i reply less than i could, and i want to like double down on the fact that i am endlessly grateful for everyone who has ever left a comment on my work <3

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i have killed simon snow twice lmfao. i’d actually classify icarus as rather hopeful — it’s about grief & healing. but legacies is just fucked up lmfao

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

oh man, i write a lot of happy endings haha. i feel like even when my story is tonally darker (rare), it still has a happy or at least hopeful ending. this is probably not the correct answer, but i think sing of the moon has a really vividly happy ending. like — the sun rises for the first time in the whole fic! amazing. or maybe my high school au, We Can Live Forever, which is just the happiest thing i’ve ever written.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not really, thankfully! people are smartasses sometimes but overall ive been lucky. there have been a couple of fics where ive winced before hitting post, but it usually ends up fine

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yessss. i guess i mostly write tender smut, bc i write tender things in general. i think my smut tends to be rather exploratory/playful as well? intentionally sloppy and awkward choreography hahaha

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

sort of LOL. once upon a time i was betaing @tea-brigade's medieval snowbaz au, Reliquary of an Arsonist, and there’s this part where three highway bandits mug simon and baz and then get blasted by simon’s chosen one magic. i am sick in the head so im in the google doc like “lol what if its kandreil.” and then i was like… what if it was kandreil….. and so i wrote Reliquary of a Bandit

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i don’t think so

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes!!! and i’m really thankful for everyone who has done so <3333 shoutout to russian aftg translators, yall go HARD

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i recently collaborated with @thewholelemon on our episode of Star Trek: Redemption, Heart-Shaped Box. by which i mean: i wrote the outline & a few scenes, got really overwhelmed, and jenny turned it into something worth reading!

i also wrote Good Boy in the snowbaz stoner verse with @starwarned, which was rly fun — we sat in the google doc for like, 5 hours trading back and forth on POVs as we wrote pure porn together LOL. it’s funny to think about this, because lauren knows like everything abt me now but we did not know each other as well back then!!! and we were just like “yeah lets write porn together” hahahahha

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

right now it is deeefinitely andreil… they are everything to me for reasons i just cannot possibly be brief about LOL so ill just leave it at that

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i have a postcanon snowbaz time travel/time loop wip that i was going to try to write for COBB this year but i fucked up the deadlines then the brainrot was like “guess that means more andreil !”. i did SO MUCH research for it and i think it’s rather clever and smutty and fun bc they are yeeted back to watford era! but it’s also dealing with snowbaz, who are in their late 20s and are like in a relationship low point/actively fighting when they end up in the loop… so they are dealing with that tension at the same time as they are trying to get out of the loop. and also fucking around watford to fulfill fantasies HAHAHA

16. What are your writing strengths?

characterization is the thing i care most about! and i think that’s the draw of fanfic in particular to me — i love getting such a grasp on a character that i can translate them into endless situations while still making them feel true to self. i rarely let myself publish anything until i can read through the whole thing without any he would not fucking say that moments hahahha. this is of course pertaining to my own interpretations of the characters, which is the only thing i care abt lmfao

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i rely a lot on body language because im always writing abt reticent fuckers who cant use their words. but i think i sometimes overcompensate, or describe actions that don't actually fit the scene. i've seen this described as "cheek-biting" -- like, throwing in action during a conversation just to delay the pacing/further the tone, but when you really look at it, it's not necessary. (cheek-biting being like, "character bites at their cheek" in the middle of a tense conversation)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i don’t really know any other languages! i think i’ve put a little bit of french in neil/kevin/baz POVs before, but my french knowledge is elementary at best. love the idea of it though.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

one direction babyyyyyyyy !! i wrote quite a bit of it in like 2012-2015 but published very little. there’s 1 on my ao3, some lost somewhere on fanfiction.net (i dont rmr my username lol), and tons in my folders from my old laptop lol.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

hmmmmm. im gonna cheat bc i cant pick a single favorite. i always say i think No Turning Back is some of my best writing from a craft standpoint, and it also includes my favorite type of conflict (andrew self-destructing lol). however, i reread both that fic & We Can Live Forever on a plane trip recently after not having touched either for 6+ months — and the solidness of We Can Live Forever actually surprised me, especially because i wrote the majority of that fic while i was stoned and also view it as just exceedingly silly. the world of it is just very rich, and also very very different from the typical character backstories, and i’m very proud of how much that reread played with my heartstrings.

ok last one — there are several installments of my flashes of intimacy series that i come back to a lot, because i’m proud of what they each accomplish in 500 words. especially because i often turn to those when im trying to express my own emotions lol. specifically, my favorites are picking fights, i don’t mind, swimming lessons, and practicing gratitude.

that was such a bullshit and cocky way to answer this lmfaooooo. but tbh i am my own biggest fan and that is by design — i write stuff so that i can reread it months later and have it be perfectly catered to my tastes. i love all my fics <3

#my writing

17 notes · View notes

mouthpoisons · 1 year

Text

hi! im a disabled 25 y/o trans man whos been homeless since escaping my abusive father on dec 25th 2022. im couch surfing until i can move into community housing, which i dont have an ETA for, because they havent been very transparent about things like availability and my perceived priority level.

the community housing honestly sounds atrocious; reviews ive read include people getting sick and having to go to hospital bcs of mould in the apartments, getting kicked out for defending themselves against abusive staff, mail being kept from them (including bills), and more. additionally, based on what the staff have told me from their own mouths, they have insane restrictive rules and it really sounds like theyre running it like a prison or psyche ward. i already dont want to be there, and i want to move on as soon as possible.

i dont work a fulltime job, and im on a very low amount of benefits. ive also been doing a lot of travelling out of necessity, and when this all first happened i had to buy myself new clothes (i left with almost nothing), and put myself in a hotel until i was able to arrange a couch surf, and my spot on the waiting list for community housing.

the couch surfing venue i have right now is very stable and accommodating, and the hosts have essentially said i can stay for as long as it takes for things to get sorted out, but the thing is they have a cat and im very allergic. ive felt extremely ill since staying here; im constantly itchy, covered in sores and hives, and having asthma attacks, and this is *with* medication. as much as id love to be able to stay here, im not sure how much longer i can cope, and im starting to worry about potential longterm effects on my health. the only other potential couch surf i have is with my nan, who also has cats.

being that my only available couch surfs are places that i have to share with one of my biggest allergy triggers, and the longterm housing i do have lined up doesnt have an ETA (and sounds like hell to live in anyway), i need help being able to afford to rent somewhere on my own terms.

you can help the most by checking out NOX LABS. when i first left my living situation with my abusive father, i couldnt fit a lot of things into the bag i took with me, but my priority was to pack as many things as i could that i can make money with, which included stock from my online shop. ive been able to do a limited reopening, and it would help a lot if you could give it a look and share this post. you can also support me by donating to @/flintjupiter on p4ypal or £flintjupiter on c4shapp. tysm for reading 💚

65 notes · View notes

eridan-amporaa · 8 months

Note

Ooo okay SO-

Skid and Pump being Light and Void works really well for them, conflicting aspects that balance each other out and benefit them both - Pump as a Seer is amazing and fits with him being the first character shown to be Stars'd and the unlock of Weird Supernatural Knowledge as a result

Skid as an Heir also has the double meaning of him being the "heir" to the cult, if his dad actually was the leader of it

Roy as a Thief is perfect, riling up others to make him feel better about himself. I could see his "quest" being him learning how to use it constructively

Ross as a Mind player is interesting -- he'd probably end up as the sort of "guide", stealing the information the group needs to actually complete the game

Susie as a Heart player. Yes. In classic Homestuck fashion, the heart on her shirt can even serve as foreshadowing to her role

Don't have much to say about Robert or Ethan, theirs seem fitting. I bet Ethan would have a laugh about the "made of doom" pun tho

Kevin absolutely fits as a Page, and it brings the idea of him having to reach his potential somehow. Also it's like the game itself is telling him to get a Life which I think is funny and VERY fitting for him

Mage of Space Streber... yeah that tracks. Especially with Space, Streber leads with the creation of the Genesis Frog, fiddling with them like his inventions until they're perfect. Him being a Mage also fits with how both of the canon Mages lost something but still do their things without it

Radford as a Prince of Time... ohohoho, now that's interesting. Him feeling like he's "running low on time" could factor into how he plays, worried that they won't have enough time to make the frog and stoke the forge, or that somehow he's going to do something that will doom them all.

The thought of Time could also be related to his family, like not having enough time to spend with them, not wanting them to grow up so soon, or maybe even the fear of his little sister not having much time left, if she has a series illness and wasn't just sick with a cold or something

There's also the more silly connection of him loving movies, which are Timeless

love all this analysis, there are actually a couple things i hadn't even considered in here! some bullet points for other stuff to go with these:

all of the characters have a counter to their aspect - skid n pump being Light and Void, rob and roy as Hope and Rage, etc. the only pair not included is breath and blood... hm. guess we'll see if there are any other characters to incorporate ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

there are also several class combos here - ross n roy being Rogue and Thief, streber n pump being Mage and Seer, etc. could result in some interesting duos combat wise, as well as some unlikely friendships!

on a similar note, the Knight is always supposed to help protect the Space player. susie n streber friendship arc!! (for the record im not changing any ages. highschoolers can be friends with adults sue me)

kevin absolutely hates his godtier outfit. Like, hell no. And he has to wear it in front of the kids AND his crush(es)?? hells to the no!!!! he grabs a spare pair of pants asap (also I almost made him a Bard of Doom... that would be so much worse LOL)

ross, being a rogue, would steal knowledge directly from the sprites. which is how he learns about all the stuff we know as observers (class/aspect pairs, active vs passive, etc.) this is also how he figures out how to godtier. susie is the one to point out that "hey, if we don't all godtier, we'd have to watch more people we care abt die and that would be Bad". so their main overall quest for a while would prolly be to get everyone to godtier

im stealing ur idea for roys quest it makes sense i love it

radford was at work when he had to play sburb, idk where susie/pump were but they were separated (skid n pump werent hangin out either tho). rob has his sister with him at home. his parents, along with susie's parents, will never be seen again - they got left behind. surviving parents/guardians/family r abuelo wonder, lila, ross's parents, roy's parents, rob's sister, and ethan's fam. they got lucky. the only guardians to die during the game r roy's parents and maybe abuelo wonder

yea rad is paranoid asf lmao poor guy (<- continues making up angst scenarios for him)

#homestuck #spooky month #spooky month au #spookystuck au #homestuck au #hsmisc.txt

6 notes · View notes

pendragora · 4 months

Text

so yeah hard mental health times. i need to yell into the void. beware.

special disclaimer for my moots that feel the pressure of helping others: dont even think about it. dont feel the need to say anything, if you opened this.

its okay. ill be okay.

for the past two weeks ive been balancing being sick and trying to work to end semester well with my students. i am still trying to understand how my work in this community college actually ... works. it is hard sometimes. some days are better than the others, sometimes i feel like an absolute shit, sometimes i feel like garbage. it is fine. i know the source of this and, unfortunately, the source won't go away. it's the background noise of my life - being autistic.

unfortunately, this is not something that can be resolved. the pressure of being an autistic person in the world of neurotypical people is constant, even when i am on my own inside of my home. usually it is just about not being normal enough. i am used to it. as much as i try to go by with my little rules, my own routines and categorizing things the way they should be - it is not always a winning strategy because human interaction is anything but structured and operated by rules. in times when all i built to assist myself fails, my main concern is my own feelings - i tend to dramatisize a lot, which is, shocker, also an autism thing for me. no matter the therapy, no matter the work i put in, it is a to-go strategy for my mind always, and i guess it is to stay with me for my whole life. my own feelings and my own self becomes a priority when i can't have any control on the situation because it is very easy to fall into a spiral and make yourself feel unworthy of life. recently i had a breakthrough. i managed to get out of the dramatic state after an unpleasant situation in class within ten minutes time of working through it and rationalizing. it felts good. i felt proud.

mainly i just... i think i wanted to say that it was really hard to manage both the world around you and yourself. some days i feel like i am my own supervisor, my parental figure (tbh ive always been my own parent of sort) and at the same time my own trouble kid in the class. i have to at the same time mask and put out "neurotypical" persona to work through situations while my mind is acfively spiralling with intense emotions and i am throwing my all into attempting to stop it.

it's... tiring. it requires a lot. every single thing in life requires something of me. i have to put in effort into the smallest things because if i dont do it right i will be infinitely upset about myself and it will serve as a reminder that i am different. that even with people i feel most comfortable around, with the closest friends of mine i feel detached and isolated because first i must do things right and then i must do everything else. one time i was so stressed that i did not manage myself and went into my initial, not learned, reactions recently and it ended in a disaster with my friends that was looming over me for weeks prior to december.

it is just... hard. it is hard to always manage yourself. and i cant even tell anyone really because i dont... i dont want pity, or comfort, or anything else. i just want to be acknowledged. i just want to be told that indeed it is hard what i am doing. that i am doing great still. that all of my effort is not pointless.

i know it will never be any easier. i know that this is my reality as an autistic person. and im fine with that. it is life and i guess it is what it is. as long as im alive i am grateful for what i have even if my life just has to complete a combo of things that make me stand out and be different. i learned how to live the way i am. i learned and i will learn again and again how to live my own life. if only i could just... get that pat on the back and a hug from somebody who would understand and see me and efforts put.

i will put a little trigger warning here for suicide attempt. if somebody is reading this, don't read further. it will only be a mention, but still. need to make sure it's okay.

———————————————————————

i've been really unstable recently because in first half of december two years ago i almost ended this all for myself. it was a positive thing. it made me realize i needed to change somethint, i needed to seek help. and i did. i was in therapy. i was medicated. i somehow got out of the university and now my life is better than ever. no depression. no panic attacks. no desire to die. i live well and i want to live. i dont wake up every morning with the feeling of dread. i don't wake up to a regret. i wake up ready for the day. i wake up, go to my work and enjoy what i do. mostly i am... happy for the place i am at. everything else that is a dramatic worry of mine will be figured out and dealt with. i know i can handle it and find the best way for myself. i've done that before and i will do it again.

but because of how traumatic this time was for me two years ago, i am not very okay now. it is another background noise. it is another backhround noise that adds to all the other noises i have. and it is too much. this time it is too much. so i step down. take a deep breath. type this. i feel tears streaming down my cheeks, which is good.

it will be better. i will get better.

#lena exposed #not delete later but a secret option: to bury under countless reblogs

1 note · View note

peaterookie · 1 year

Text

Lupin III Chapter 49 Review

chapter 49 is the start of the white collar series, where lupin poses as a employee in various(?) office jobs and fucks things up i guess!

id also like to show the magazine cover of this chapter, just because it looks so sick. this is also one of the rare times lupin is illustrated with a yellow jacket, so that something quite noteworthy about it

i also just really like the use of primary colors and abstract vibes of the drawing pre new adventure art style isn't my favorite but im starting to find its charm of it c:

the chapter starts off with lupin running out of an office building with a suitcase. his dalmatian friend is there too it turns out that he's gotten a very important contract from a different company, and he is going to give it to his boss- apparently he works for a transport company of some sort

he doesn't steal it mind you, lupin steals most things but I think given the context that hes working as a regular exployee, he just got it through some business meeting

wow! a colored page i found on the internet! (i wish i remembered where i got it from, might be from lupin central?) you might've also seen this somewhere too, so this is the chapter where it came from.

you can see him driving away with his dog as misnames the dogs a few time and gets his ass ripped apart for it a lot of this chapter is colored, but while it does look quite nice, its not when it would end up being black and white when turned into a volume :(

as my friend puts it, refering to the this panel: "The lack of colors made it so hard to figure out what's happening that I thought something was emerging out of his ass and it was like a goop / monster / his disguise skin peeling off into a living amalgamation"

lupin comes back to his boss to present the contract to him, but he gets berated since the boss didn't need this contract despite lupin thinking it would be important he leaves the office annoyed and overhears his co-workers saying that the boss was fired lupin then rushes back to the boss to find out what happened

im not gonna fucking type out the english text because its plain confusing so ill try my best to explain it

they're under trouble since the contract lupin got was from an oil company that gave them all rights to international shipping while it seemed really good and had a lot of opportunity for them to gain money, he had to cancel it why did he have to cancel it lupin asks? because the contract required the company to ship all of the oil company's product… including the oil bomb they have. its simply too risky for them to transport something so fragile as that, so he cancels it and lupin has fucked his company up!

its so weird talking about lupin having a normal office job god

we then get lupin and jigen reflecting on their situation, its essentually just exposition dump ive just explained already jigen wonders why lupins even having this office work in the first place, and he then figures out its just a heist lupins planning

now lupin is working out a plan to find a way to transport the oil bomb efficiently without blowing up i guess the boss could uncancel it anytime?? so lupins trying to win him back again

we then get introduced to another fujiko mine, who says that shes now working with lupin as his secretary (he likes her already) she picks up the plan and we get another instance of mp having to write new panels for the volume again lol

lupin then proposes the plan to his boss, which rips it apart! saying that hes already heard of it and accuses lupin of copying the plan from another employee!!

this employee in question is a man called okite, which the story implies he may have been the one to copy lupin's plan and just proposed it first but who knows that might just be me they have the same objective, but now theyre on a race to see which one can move the oil bomb first

hmm why do i remember this story already before… (tac tics)

while lupin talks to jigen again about the situation, okite finds lupin and says that he knows what lupins motives are he also knows lupin's real identity, and that he would just steal from his plan in order to transport the bomb himself! we never really get an explanation of what lupin's motivations are but i guess he might just want to use that bomb for something bad i guess??? or he just became a office worker for fun idk that sounds like something he would do in his free time

lupin leaves okite alone, but just warns him that he might want to keep those plans of his safe…

the next day, okite shows the boss his plan, and he rips it apart!! revealing that lupin had already shown this plan to him beforehand!! get played fool.

we then switch to lupin having a simply joyous time in his bed, while fujiko enters his room, saying that she needs to use his shower, since hers is broken bro what is she plotting she also gets on the same bed with lupin, which he totally ignores the red flags and thinks that she wants to have sex with him which she DOESN'T she suspects from the rumors that lupin might be a thief and stole okite's plan, and she's gonna fucking kill him ah good lord

she reveals that she's actually okite's girlfriend and ALSO WORKING FOR ZENIGATA AHHH HES HERE

put zenigata in when they least expected it - mp 1968

lupin tries to escape, but he gets handcuffed to the bed… and zenigata says some ridiculous line here in the english version

L: Handcuffs!? Z: Damn, you're kinky Lupin. They'll love that in prison.

can someone confirm that he actually says that in the japanese version because this sounds so tokyopoppy

he then tries to arrest lupin in, but lupin then stops them and presents them a very very small bit of an oil bomb... saying that if they take him in, he'll drop it and explode the entire place down!!! oh no!!!!

ok hold on what does an oil bomb look like it doesnt say BUT HOW IS THIS AN OIL BOMB

ITS JUST SOME FUNKY MINECRAFT CUBE zenigata doesn't believe lupin either, thinking its just a bluff and shoots the bomb-

and no one would've guessed it

lupin was not bluffing.

the end!

#how the hell was lupin carrying that small bit of the oil bomb the entire time #didnt jigen say that a single shake would explode the thing???#lupin the third #lupin iii #local lupin manga fan screams about the manga as per usual

3 notes · View notes

twow · 2 years

Text

okay guys i am officially done with my first real week of law school so here's law school update #2!! tbh its been a really fun time! people here are so nice, ive been to the bars the last couple of nights and out of the 6 drinks i've had 5 of them have been bought for me by guys in the law school section LMAO. i didn't go out at all in undergrad so its been a nice change of pace! school is a bit overwhleming and i feel a bit lost but i am kind of getting the hang of it? we'll have to see how next week goes. the rest is under the cut bc i got kind of ramble-y and its long!

okay so for my friend group i simultaneously feel more ingrained in the group and like an outsider. i really love them and we've all gone out together a lot but i cant shake the feeling that's there's an inner circle i'm not a part of idk. i know its probably just insecurity and high school trauma and also the unshakeable feeling that i am unknowable and cannot and should not be my true self around people (with the exception of my irl besties from undergrad ofc). i am hoping that horrible feeling passes and i honestly just can't wait to get out of the beginning parts of the friendship and into the part where i actually feel like i know these people well. esp with this handful of girls I've been getting close to! but yeah ngl i am feeling a bit mixed right now since there's a lot of guys in our group and I've never really had guy friends? there's this sort of ugly feeling like im less important to them bc im not hot like the rest of the girls in the group which is :/// we also sort of had some drama last night so i guess what everyone said about law school being like high school is true LMAOO anyway we are going to the beach today so hopefully things will work itself out.

i also feel like i really embarrassed myself the last couple of nights while drunk. everyone has reassured me that i didn't but still i really really hate the feeling of not remembering exactly what i did/said. shoutout to the girlies and also my friend scott for making me feel a lot better about it <3 anyway in general my mood is very "is everyone hanging out without me?" and "do people secretly dislike me and don't really care about me?" even tho i have evidence to the contrary. mental illness.

edit: okay I've thought about it and the best way to concisely articulate how i feel is that i feel like an afterthought. like ill be invited to places and people will talk to me/hang out with me but i am never the first one on people's mind nor do people really care if i do/do not come. and when im chatting its more like "oh i guess ill talk to her" and im initiating a lot rather than people coming up to me and really wanting to talk to me. and that's fine i guess it just a bit hurtful esp when you see others who do get actually approached for convos and have people upset when they don't come places.

i am also realizing that this post was pretty negative but i AM having a good time and i DO like my friends. I'm just sick of the beginning part i love having really good friends that I'm super close to and i don't really have that yet. its been super fun tho esp at bar trivia and all of my theme park visits

okay update over, thanks for listening to my rambling guys! it really helps me to write all of my feelings out even if no one really cares. that is what a blog is for i guess! also if i know you in real life and you reading this No You Did Not lol

#alcohol ment tw

5 notes · View notes

nathank77 · 1 month

Text

3/29/24

1:18 a.m

Why do I dislike Mike as a therapist? Hate is a strong word but I wanted to make it clear in my email to Danielle that I posted below with a whole speel about having a lower quality of care and having to out myself to providers as trans and a voice hearer, making it known to her that I feel unsafe, dehumanized, stigmatized and discriminated against yet I will stay with Mike bc of this bc I don't want to be discriminated against.... anyways I got that all out but it was an important entry.

Why do I dislike Mike?

1) do you really hear a voice or is it a narrative?

- we talked about it and he showed genuine human emotion and cried a little but nonetheless I don't want to see him bc of the question that's why I tried to replace him.

2) would you rather have a mood disorder (bipolar voice hearer/schizoaffective) or a personality disorder(schizotypal)? In relation to saying psychosis is not a stand alone thing.... fact is psychosis can be a stand alone thing 1000%. Look it up. I had to fight him on this with facts.

- we talked about it and said he wasn't trying to diagnosis me, either way it rubbed me the wrong way that I had to fight him about facts, it is factually psychosis can be a standalone thing and go away. It doesn't have to be schizophrenia or depression or something else.

3) he brings up his education at NYU constantly and acts like a big wig. He thinks he is a big wig and he challenges me with questions which I'll list below that blow my mind, and aggravate me constantly.

He actually thinks he is smarter than me. I'd say we are of equal intelligence tbh. He isn't stupid but he isn't emotionally intelligent that's factually and he actually acts like a big wig.

4) just going back to psychosis not being a standalone illness. He doesn't believe psychosis can just be psychosis......

5) he pushed and has continued to push antidepressants..... especially since getting psychosis.... BRO MY NEUROTRANSMITTERS ARE ALREADY ALL SORTS OF MESSED UP. And I'm trying to recover naturally from psychosis....

Why not throw in some random SSRI or whatever and see what it does??? Antidepressants aren't a fucking bandaid and I don't have depression....

I'm sick of this conversation. He keeps saying well ERP in conjunction to an antidepressant is the highest quality of care for someone with OCD. First off we aren't doing ERP right now but secondly even if we were, I don't want to take a fucking antidepressant.

WELL BROTHER I DON'T FUCKING WANT AN ANTIDEPRESSANT. I NEVER DID AND I ESPECIALLY DONT WANT ONE NOW THAT I HAVE PSYCHOSIS.

WE DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND HOW THE BRAIN WORKS AND WE NEVER TRULY WILL SO LETS LEAVE MY BRAIN ALONE IM ALREADY ON BENZODIAZEPINES JUST TO SLEEP AT NIGHT AND ID RATHER NOT BE BUT I CANT SLEEP WITHOUT THEM.

6) when I brought up how my quality of care is lower bc I won't take antipsychotics bc of the side effects, and I'm not being treated the same by medical providers bc I'm labeled as psychotic.

Aka they won't treat me. If they will they won't look at issues as separate. Such as insomnia. And Continuing to be referred out to Behavioral health where I'm going to be forced to take antipsychotics.

Mike actually asked me why wouldn't you just do antipsychotics..... well idiot:

1] Seizures

2] movement disorders

3] negative symptoms- aka all this functionality I currently have can come to a screeching fault

4] the voice doesn't typically go away I've asked and looked at research....

5] it lowers your life expectancy by 30%

6] it lowers dopamine all over your fucking brain rather than the appropriate pathway-talk about antidepressants being a bandaid and the brain not being fully understood, antipsychotics are way worse

7] when you look up can you recover from psychosis in Google searches- you actually see in the commonly asked questions can you recover from antipsychotics!!!!!

8] I brought up my extensive education on the topic as I studied it intensively in grad school

9] they actually lower your IQ

His response was why wouldn't you want a lower IQ?? STUPID PEOPLE ARE HAPPIER..... that may be true... but:

I responded well I mean I went to school for my masters in neuroscience... I have a 160k education I worked very hard on and I may not be using it but I like being intelligent... I like learning new things. I like being inquisitive and educated and may be one day I will beat psychosis and OCD and end up getting my PhD or using my current education and getting into research but either way I like being intelligent.

7) when we were having this conversation i said i wasn't psychotic just bc I have psychosis and he said having Psychosis means you're psychotic... and I was like not when you're in remission, when you are firmly gripped in reality and not delusional, not when you're socially and occupationally functional and the only symptom you have is an auditory hallucination that causes suffering but nonetheless doesn't prevent you from functioning, you're not psychotic.

He made me feel like I was once again defined as fucking psychotic just bc I hallucinate... my grip on reality and functionality and intelligence plays a role in whether I'm, "psychotic."

Gotta love how people label you. Erin doesn't see me as psychotic. She sees me as a functional, intelligent, and firmly gripped in reality person who suffers from broken d2 receptors.

8) I asked him if he could stop cutting me off so I could finish my stories cause I need to vent and everytime he cuts me off I have to answer his annoying question and then I have to backtrack to explain what I was explaining. I explained it nicely but nonetheless now he is "checking out." I can see it in his face.

9) When I reestablished Therapy with him and I lost track of time and missed our 6. He said 630. I showed up and he never did and he pretended he didn't receive my texts.

-This is all I can come up with now minus him always bringing up movies that's gotten a little better but he talked to me about Benadryl and the man in the hat. I didn't know what he was talking about but Benadryl can make you see stuff cause I guess it's a delirium... I mean I never had visual hallucination with psychosis. Other than numbers being a little different (50 followers would switch to 51 back and forth) and i had that one physical hallucination the Rosalyn post i thought Elise posted... but that was actually October 7th before I had psychosis. Nonetheless it scared me that it happened but that's the extent of my visuals. I don't have them anymore.

before psychosis I took benadryl every single night with weed and I slept but bringing up the man in the hat scared me.... like of course I worry that things will worsen despite them getting better.

-he really lacks emotional Intelligence. I don't hate him. I don't like him as a therapist but bc of Danielle I'm stuck with him...

-Do I think he is a bad person?

No. I just don't think he is emotionally intelligent enough to be my therapist. I think generally he is a decent human but not the right fit for me as a therapist. I'd drop him like a hot potato if Danielle would find a therapist who was accepting of trans people and someone who doesn't stigmatize voice hearers.

0 notes

fraener · 1 year

Text

4/15/23

this week has been hard on me. ive been very anxious and even stayed home from school thursday because i was too scared to leave the house until the evening i went with hans and we worked in the garden. its nice to be touching the dirt again. i cant remember if i wrote in here that i joined the experimental music ensemble or not, but were meeting for the second time tonight. it felt good to do something new and be kind of bad at it. i realized in that moment that i really miss trying things and being bad at them. its been strange, i feel really scared in the mornings and then i feel ok by the evening usually, a little scared again when im going to bed. my anxiety and ocd are evolving in new and interesting ways. it sort of feels like when a zit is surfacing or something, everything feels like its coming to a head and everything thats building up pressure under the surface is going to come flowing out and then ill be ok again. im looking at my healing and hurting cycles like breathing....a big inhale of horrible painful scary events and then i hold my breath for a little bit and then a biiiiiig exhale every few years. my lower and middle back have been hurting, and i think im having some dampness/spleen stagnation thats making it overact on my kindeys. ive definitely been stressing out and have had a really hard time getting out of the cycles and into the ifs lobby/core self. but other than my anxiety things have been really good. i fall a little more in love with hans every day which is really nice, and even though we had some conflict recently we both handled it so reasonably that it didnt even make a bump in the road for more than a couple of hours. its still been hard to eat but no so much because im scared of getting sick as its just hard to find fresh food in the grocery store. the produce is really bad right now and so im really looking forward to the coming weeks where ill be able to eat things that arent canned or bread or dairy anymore. i finally got some eggs so im really happy with that. i kinda think i might have to just move back to seattle after all when school ends. the artist trust is really promising for grants and such and i really really really miss home. im going to be penpals with stefan i think, they said yes so im excited about it. i started crying really hard because it felt like an avenue back into feeling like myself and feeling like home. theres this shimmering warm light like from one of those big windows in the animation room that i keep feeling when i feel like i can return....i get the same feeling from that first spring in this apartment. like the world is so big and warm and bright. like theres something right outside of my little stormcloud i cant seem to get out from underneath. i think i want to travel lots and go to grad school somewhere really interesting but i also really want to come home, germs and loud noises and high prices and all. but today i feel ok. today stefan said yes to being penpals with me, today i stumbled across the blog of someone who loves food and loves to cook beautiful things who lives right across the street in the martin in one of the apartments facing the olympian. today im going to call my grandma and karen and go do some more earth prepping and go to the herb store and go to my choir practice. today i might clean or meditate or go for a walk, i might try and make something out of clay, i might write a letter, i might cry some more. today is full of just as much good possibility as bad possibility. actually i think more good than bad. my outlook has been so damaged and changed in so many ways i just want everything to get flipped right side up again. i think if i could see the world a little different like i used to id feel so much better. i dont need to make a beautiful life up, i need to see how good life is right now and lean into it as hard as possible. what max said about life being a competition for who is having the most fun is right. i should be trying to win.

0 notes

cold-arrow · 2 years

Text

Doctor's Notes, Book 4 : Of Giant gaits / gates

Entry 3

Summary, Things of note since last entry: finished the crossbow went to the temple found a unsettling shop Visited Waterdeep's Lady Silverhand The Frost giant ship, pulled by a white dragon

| Woke up the next morning kind of tired, but that has been a pretty normal occurrence for the past fe... a while. quickly grabbed some breakfast before starting work on Lym's crossbow. ive disassembled the parts to get a better grasp on at least the mechanical aspect. The arcane or divine nature of it, requires a bit more study. ( good thing that I picked up Celestial in the past ) Ive decided to reinforce parts of the crossbow, so that it doesnt loose its structural integrity when it has to deal with the possibly increased magical and kinetic force in the future Ive also treated the wood just in case. Never hurts from what the bits i know of woodworking. The string and triggering mechanism have been upgraded which officially concludes, the easy part Using the magic and energy from activating the spell scroll that Lym made me; I combined the fist divine essence with several other alchemical reagents, in order to create a unique solution infused with the magic of the required spells. | successfully combined the first divine scroll with preliminary components. decided to start with the easiest scroll first. | Of to a good start, no issues thusfar | seconds scroll has been infused into mixture. things are going at a good pace. | final scroll went without issue. simply need to add the final divine essences at let mixture rest until it's ready. Might as well practice the celestial inscriptions while i wait. | the mixture is now fully ready, and ive laid out my inscription / inscribing tools. the color of it is quite interesting though. it is a iridescent and semi translucent liquid, that seems to give almost a divine glow. * decided to test out the possibly luminescence, and when placed in the dark, the resulting effect is quite stunning. it could indeed function as a light source, sort of creating a divine radiance with a subtle iridescence. I should keep a bit of it if i have any left, to show to Lym later. After a final couple hours of work, ive successfully inscribed the crossbow with the celestial runes. ??? Didnt want to make the crossbow seem to busy in appearance, so ive limited as to which sections I applied the inscription to. And simply gave the remaining section another treatment / coating | I must say, Im quite happy with the result. in appearance alone, the weapon looks like quite a beautiful piece of artwork. I dont know how... potent it is yet. so ill wait until Lym comes to pick it up Couldnt find Lym So, Ive decided to set up a target and leave a note for her instead. Presenting the crossbow on my now tidy worktable. I think Ill give myself an actual proper break now, and head into the city for a bit. ive been meaning to visit the Temple of the Triad, whenever we got back and I had to chance. I Wanted to give them my thanks for the help they've provided thusfar.

| Met Lym while going to the temple district, she was apparently out shopping and looking for intersting magic items at some of the shops in same district as the temples. she decided to wait for me outside the temple of Triad, till I had concluded my business, so we could browse some shops in the area together. I managed to find Father Michael without much issue, and give him my thanks. I inquired if there was anything i could do to repay the kindness he the temple had shown me, hoping to perhaps offer my services as a doctor and maybe treat any of the sick or wounded, but he said that wouldnt necessary. But, if I did want to show my appreciation, i could perhaps make an offering. unsure of what else i could do, i simple donated all the silver I had on me. Though I wish I had more gold left at the moment, and hadnt spend most of it. Guess ill have to make a larger donation next time we get paid.

| After that, I joined Lym on her shopping trip. we passed by a couple of stores, but none of them really had anthing of interest. While wondering through the districts, she also complained about some store that was falsely advertising magic items. while in really it sold only spells scrolls and the like, instead of anything concrete. (though im somewhat curious about the scrolls, ill admit. im not sure if i want spend my hard earned gold there however, or even support a business that behaves in a less reputable manner like that.) Eventually we did stumble upon a rather peculiar shop... it was located in the middle of the road. And most people seemed to avoid or walk around it. it didnt seem particularly big either, consisting of just a small one story wooden shack. But the sign advertised itself clearly, and Lym's curiosity had already been piqued. ( even though i had some reservations myself since it seemed kind of shady ) to my surprise the interior of the shack was rather spacious, and it displayed of wide variety of magical wares. ( And in hindsight, im certain that that place couldnt have nearlly been that big based on the exterior dimensions) To a much more startling surprise, a disembobied voice welcomed us to their store. I tried to locate it's source / origin, but similarly to the Jeweler's shop in Mirrabar I was unable to find it. which was less reassuring in this case, for some reason.

Lym asked to see a catalogue of the shop's wares, and the unseen attendent was quite happy to oblige. While she was browsing through the pages, i kept an eye out on our surroundings, just to be safe. When she eventually found something of interest, the method of payment was also... rather questionable. it seems we could pay in... anything, as long as the "shopkeep" perceived it to be of equal value. and by anything, I mean Anything. Coin, trade, services. knowledge. memories... I uh... I can see why it has such an impressive array if wares now, if its able to trade in things as valuable such as magical knowledge. and I dont know what else And I mean like, actually giving up the knowledge you have of something, In return for something else. Lym eventually purchased a couple of things, and... I dont think she gave up anything of too much of value or importance. ( then again I was a bit too distracted to really pay attention.) But my own curiosity eventually got the better of me as well, and i took a peek at the catalogue myself. I did hear a few items of possible interest being mentioned. I was desperatly trying to figure out the best possible payment for some of the healing items that were for "sale", without having any actual money on me. when i noticed that lym had finished her purchases, and the "shopkeeps" attention was directed towards me. "It" in particular, was very curious about all the knowledge that i possessed, about magic and artifice for example. And uh... eventually i caved a bit under the pressure and sold one my... my uh.... healing recipes, i think, or one of my inventions. or was it just an idea? i sold something. that i've never really used i think As well as some healing potions, ( and a few nightmares i was happy to get rid of ) , partially because is was curious as to how the shop would accept such payment, and be able to sell them. seems the the catalogue also serves as a deposit of items, as wells as knowledge one simply has to write down or place the thing the are exchanging, and that's it ( I... wonder how that book works. or what kind of echantments it contains )

I eventyally left the shop with 2 rings. one that improves my healing potions. And a ring holding a delicate rose, whose petals i can use to apparently heal others. which i might be able to use in potions as well. but as soon as i got my items, I immediately left the shop. And was glad to see Lym follow soon after. I dont see where the shop went after we left though.... when i turned around to get a final look at it, to make sure to avoid it next time we stumble across it in the future, it uh... it was gone. I guess the 2 rings i now posses, are evidence that i Didnt imagine the whole thing. as well as Lym being a secondary witness. But I'm not sure how i feel about this whole encounter... * I did sleep a lot better then i expected afterwards... Strange.

the following day, we finally managed to arrange a meeting with Lady Silverhand. ( of which there are multiple of, I know realize.) And we went to the LA's tower in the afternoon. We had to wait a little bit outside, but not as long as in Mirrabar fortunately, before being led to Lady Silvehand's office. We informed her of our succes in taking down, or assassinating the Hill-giant queen i should say, within the Dessarin hills east of Longsaddle. And gave a description of the hill giant den's location. Also, there were appearently some townsfolk captured there... Hoppefully they will be able to safe them, now the the threat of that place has been reduced. At the very least it should solve the famine and food shortage issue though in the surrounding villages of that area. Incuding Goldenfields, which is nice After our report, she informed us of the recent Frost giant activity up north. Appearently there is a Frost giant vessel or ship, being pulled by a... White Dragon. And its making its way south through the Sea of Ice. which sounds like an issue. Also there were already issues with trade ships along the Swordcoast and Sea of swords, as well as trade embargo from other "alliances", Which with the recent frost giant activity is only making it worse. Lady Silverhand has therefore asked us to try and help with the recent threats from the north, the best we can. And she mentioned it be better if we go by sea, instead of sky. Since the recent defeat of Guh, has now made the giant aware of the threat that we pose, and to keep an eye out for sky ships, which they might want to take down... I guess a regular ship it is then it is then. I will have to do some prep and get some supplies for our journey on the seas. As well as bring / make some medicine against nausea. it'll probaly take a bit for me to get my sea-legs I fear.

0 notes

baekhvuns · 2 years

Note

Ooooooh you do 👀 yeah it's obvious idols lurk, some might not understand everything perfectly because of slang etc, but still they must be so confused and embarrassed. My friend's cousins went to school with a few idols, it's so funny because they're not kpop fans at all

I think some fans, girls mostly would rather imagine their male idols with men, because it brings them some sort of arousal, but also they don't wanna see them with other women

Smut gets notes it's true, even badly written sex scenes lmao. It's pretty sad, but also makes perfect sense so I don't blame people for writing it.

Hongjoong daddy I don't think... none of them really, but lmaoooo. I saw TOO MANY daddy Seonghwa fics 🥴

Watersports akydjaydhsshahs maybe they should do it in water to cleanse themselves, but it's just peeing 😭😭😭 why

Thank you I hope I get Seonghwa! Thankfully I always do, my GOMs are <333 please look at his birthday MD cards THE FIRST ONE?!?! 😩 lil professor

https://twitter.com/PSHsource/status/1526782583815684098?t=jfm2HYBua1LtIvluALgoZw&s=19

THEY DROPPED THAT MV OUT OF THE SUDDEN I HAD TO TELL SOMEONE I'D BE LATE JSYSHASYAHAHAGSG THAT SANHWA THUMBNAIL WAS ALREADY TOO MUCH to handle I kept staring at them like this 👁👁 for 10 minutes. And Hongjoong too excuse me??? Fuck you man!!!

But Sanhwa... corset... bandaged midriff I'm ill, I'm so sick bestie 💀 Yeosang was so rude too, hate that buff bitch :/

Uhm Seonghwa bro, I'm going to manhandle you if you don't stop this shittttt

https://twitter.com/MATZFEED/status/1526589610838614016?t=o6h9EfaqB0VC1wNLxGxAQw&s=19

Gonna have a boxing match baby SQUARE UP🥊🥊 (jk I wouldn't fight him, because he'd cry :"(). Even when he's in the background he's doing the most, main character vibes

https://twitter.com/rockstarphwa/status/1526584490847571969?t=GiNUy1zPDs_zDhNo1N0kZg&s=19

JAWLINE FOR FUCKING DAYSSSSSS and the HWAIST 🥵😵 I'm looking SO SO HAAAAARDDDDD my eyes almost fell out. I was on a work call for 3 hours, but this was all I could think of, I was on Twitter the whole time... I'm not team boxer istg, I'm not but I'm all in for Rocky Hwa. Had to watch wholesome videos of him nomnoming to cleanse myself.

Random question, thoughts on merman Hwa? I saw some fan art from DV era and I can't stop thinking about it 😳 - DV 💖

HI!

i do 👁👄👁 two actually 👁👄👁 you know some too 👁👁 hello 👁👁

I think some fans, girls mostly would rather imagine their male idols with men, because it brings them some sort of arousal, but also they don't wanna see them with other women

THAT IS SOOOOOO TRUE idk why this screams a certain fandom, if u know which one-

Smut gets notes it's true, even badly written sex scenes lmao. It's pretty sad, but also makes perfect sense so I don't blame people for writing it.

yeah !!!! i saw someone like rn, transition into a smut writer after the fluff and it surprises me how much it can change their entire writing fbwbdjd 😭😭😭

Hongjoong daddy I don't think... none of them really, but lmaoooo. I saw TOO MANY daddy Seonghwa fics 🥴

nONE OF THEM SERIOUSLY ARE DADDY put them in a room with a bug and they’re rUNNING,,,,, those daddy kink fics 😔😔

Watersports akydjaydhsshahs maybe they should do it in water to cleanse themselves, but it's just peeing 😭😭😭 why

????? IM????? SO????? HELP?????

Thank you I hope I get Seonghwa! Thankfully I always do, my GOMs are <333 please look at his birthday MD cards THE FIRST ONE?!?! 😩 lil professor

FBMADBSK SEND A EXTRA SEONGHWA THIS WAY FMANDJW i…i prof hwa sounds so good but i just know the trope is so problematic 😭😭😭😭😭

https://twitter.com/PSHsource/status/1526782583815684098?t=jfm2HYBua1LtIvluALgoZw&s=19

TEACH ME TEACH ME TEACH ME TEACH ME

NO BC FHWKFJKWHDKW CHOI SAN NEEDS TO PUT THIS FUCKING TONGUE BACK IDC IDC HE NEEDS TO BE STOPPED FBWMFBSM also. song mingi.

But Sanhwa... corset... bandaged midriff I'm ill, I'm so sick bestie 💀 Yeosang was so rude too, hate that buff bitch :/

THEIR WAISTS 😩😩😭😭😭😭 the bandage iS ASKING TO RIP,, will pay san to do it @ concert,, NO BC YEOSANG??? THIS ENTIRE MV IS SO?? bANNED BAN BAN

Uhm Seonghwa bro, I'm going to manhandle you if you don't stop this shittttt https://twitter.com/MATZFEED/status/1526589610838614016?t=o6h9EfaqB0VC1wNLxGxAQw&s=19

Gonna have a boxing match baby SQUARE UP🥊🥊 (jk I wouldn't fight him, because he'd cry :"(). Even when he's in the background he's doing the most, main character vibes

https://twitter.com/rockstarphwa/status/1526584490847571969?t=GiNUy1zPDs_zDhNo1N0kZg&s=19 JAWLINE FOR FUCKING DAYSSSSSS and the HWAIST 🥵😵 I'm looking SO SO HAAAAARDDDDD my eyes almost fell out. I was on a work call for 3 hours, but this was all I could think of, I was on Twitter the whole time... I'm not team boxer istg, I'm not but I'm all in for Rocky Hwa. Had to watch wholesome videos of him nomnoming to cleanse myself

uHUH UR NOT TEAM BOXER HAHA UHUH no bc i watched it first thing i could not register it i had to cleanse myself

Random question, thoughts on merman Hwa? I saw some fan art from DV era and I can't stop thinking about it 😳 - DV 💖

actually i don’t mind it,,,,,, what’s ur thoughts on siren hwa 👁,,, fan art u say 👁

#✉️ : ask #dv 💖 anon

0 notes