#but its a joke so i dont feel TOO bad | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

skitskatdacat63 · 6 months

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Contemplation on Seb's hair:

#canon or not? we'll never know 🤭#i blame cofi for this idek why we came up w this but i had to draw it #please forgive me for not shading. i started working on it too late :/#but its a joke so i dont feel TOO bad #his hair is like lego hair....#yeah idk if this is canon 😭 like yeah historically he and nando would be wearing wigs bcs that is the style and practice #BUT I LIKE THEM NATURALLY HAVING SUCH BEAUTIFUL LUSCIOUS HAIR YKNOW :(#alternate situation: fernando tugs a little too hard on seb's hair in the throes of passion and rips his wig off #divorce era 💔#anyways this made me shriek with laughter to draw so i hope you enjoy 🤭#i wanna make more misc comics like this theyre very fun!#if only one could draw chibi por- huh what who said that #OH ALSO i always meant to ask!! how do you guys feel abt my handwriting? is it legible at least??????#sebastian vettel #vettonso #catie.art.#i want someone to stumble across my art and be like ooo what is this historical art! and its fucking f1 fanart....#boy king au

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 10 months

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thinking so so hard about LaughingStock and how that'd go down. disastrously, probably

#and ill talk about it at Length in the tags until tumblr cuts me off like a rowdy drunk after last call #please keep in mind this is all in my Brain and relationship dynamics etc are all technically speculation. anyway #so while franklydear is your more classic 'oh no im in love with him! / aw shucks im in love with him<3'#laughingstock is 'feelings what feelings / oh shit oh fuck this is bad'#to Me.#in my mind howdy is completely oblivious to his emotions #he's out here like 'gotta get the store impressively neat & shiny for barnaby! and everyone else' without blinking an eye #he starts assembling barnaby and wally's dogs slower an slower so that barnaby has to hang around a smidge longer than usual #he's out here giggling at barnaby's jokes while sweeping Hours or Days after the joke was told like a lovesick idiot #all while being like Ah Yes Barnaby My Dear Friend. My Platonic Buddy Whose Jokes I Laugh At A Little Too Hard. Platonically.#meanwhile barnaby Realizes his own feels. has a minor crisis. goes through the 12 stages of grief and absolutely panics #he's like 'ok just gotta play it cool. normal. dont be weird. he'll fall for your natural charm in no time'#'ill hold all of my feelings right here until i die or howdy reciprocates. i just cant tell anyone about this.'#'....hey wally you can keep a secret right'#and rizzes it up yk. rolls a nat 20 on charisma every time without howdy even realizing it. ig barns rolled for stealth too #and from barnabys pov its going great!#howdy is flirting back! hes showing all the signs! when eddie views their interactions he comes to barnaby later and is like A+ gay as fuck #so barnaby is a soft pining mess and howdy is Absurdly Oblivious despite being a clever & observant guy #so im imagining (will freely admit that this Train of Thought is slightly inspired by the latest chapter of Stamps by Indigopoptart)#that eventually barnaby is Confident in their budding relationship ok. hes ready to ask howdy out.#everyone who Knows (wally & eddie) are like Go For It He Clearly Loves You #and when barnaby tells howdy. howdys like 'ohhhh geez um im really flattered 🥺 but i dont feel the same 😔😭'#cue barnaby turning into the 'never again' meme while trying to laugh it off and pretend like he didnt just have his heart mr starked #so he goes home to smoke his pipe and cry and howdy goes about his day feeling Strange #why cant he stop thinking about that confession. what are these emotions. i mean its not as if hes in love with Ohhhhhh No. Oh No.#so howdy has his 'holy shit! im in love with barnaby! (lovestruck. swooning) ....Holy Shit I Rejected Barnaby (horrified. nauseous)' moment #cue howdy expecting barnaby to come by in the morning as per Routine so they can talk. he Doesnt. cue howdy stressing the fuck out over it #meanwhile wally sally (eddie sent her in his place. hes too busy) and barnaby are having a girls day (eating ice cream and watchin romcoms)#eventually barnaby hears that howdy has been Dropping The Ball and cant not check on him. cue emotional heart-2-heart outside the bodega #this is all very specific but its in my brain. these scenarious lull me to sleep every night lately

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silenthillbunni · 2 months

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🌧️🫧💭

#i shouldnt have fav mutuals bc i get sooo sad when they soft block me #which *always* happens like im not joking the day will come when they're just like nahhh bye #🥲🥲 nd i cant help but get sad #nd i dont even agree w that anon who said that 'no wonder everyone blocks u' bc im never mean to anyone #i think it's just bc im fundamentally unlikable and unlovable and the time will come when smth abt me #ticks them off nd nothing abt me is ever tolerated i always have to be perfect for everyone so then i just get cut off like dead weight lmao #also it shows that i get attached so easily but in reality ... ppl are not at all as attached to me 💀💀#like i care abt them but they dont care abt me nd it makes me feel so stupid #why do i so easily care for ppl?????? why do i have to care nd like ppl when it's always gonna end the same way #me being me is bad nd wrong and nobody could ever truly know me nd still like me #i have to live my life constantly hiding parts of myself and making sure im not too authentic or too open bc then i will make ppl dislike me #it rlly is that. im never mean. i never fight. ppl just see smth abt me nd go 'oh ewwwwww' nd then leave #nd if it hasnt already happened it will at some point nd im constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop #whenever i realize i say or did smth wrong im tense waiting for the moment where they'll leave me will arrive #ok this might sound silly bc i was like 'triggered' by smth small but like #all my life thats just how it's been. im not even mean or cruel. i just exist and ppl dont like me or who i am or what i think #i can never be truly myself anywhere. that is sure to result in being all alone 4ever. but i dont like hiding parts of myself #but i have to. but its hard when im trying to hide nd be lowkey but i still manage to make ppl dislike me T-T #idek what im supposed to do bc i just exist nd im not likable. i try to be that but im still not. idk what to do #anyway.. who cares.. j'appartiens seul #but yeah it is bc it's like this for me all the time nd ig that triggered me lmao #i mean just w my sisters.. their issue is just who i am. my personality. i havent been cruel to them. or bullied them. or put them down #they just get irritated from my personality nd who i am. thats what makes them mad. nd they kinda want me to just stop being me nd idk how #to do that and therefore we arent even talking. havent talked for a year #i wanna cry like????? what am i supposed to do??????? im so extremely fucking horrible that just by exisiting nd not being mean or cruel mak #es me unworthy of everything. idk idk like. omg i feel so stupid for being triggered by that #maybe if i had irl friends and a job and a life i wouldnt care but im a fucking loser failure worthless good for nothing idiot. ofc im this

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dayurno · 17 days

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#i will warn you only once: tsc spoilers #literally just finished it as i am drafting this its 5am where i live #so you may be subjected to some nonsense #that all being said i have thoughts.and feelings #the kevin was lovely and tasted delicious! jean defending him at every turn even when he swears to hell and back he'll kick his ass #the kevjean was surprising i was only half expecting that #the dog metaphors i have to say i need this one cashed in. nora run me my check #im joking of course dont quote me on it #jean taking kevins promise to the end and living on it is seriously so. well.#'be careful with him' 'take kevin's name out of your ignorant mouth' 'you promised me'#also kevin getting called the court's queen had me tender and on my back oml #jean's relationship with the trojans is sweet and he is very interesting and complicated #a character with many moving parts im sure #there were a few things i did not care for #namely jeremy and the trojans felt remarkably flat to me bar lucas (by far the most interesting) and catalina on occasion #i didnt quite enjoy jeremy's pov and felt like he spent perhaps way too much time worrying over jean? if that makes sense #i wish he had some more complexity to him or really anything to catch a hook on #all we know is hes attractive and smiley and gets along terribly with his family #so much of his character is sucked out by jean he didnt feel like much more than a plot device to me #which i wouldnt mind if jeremy wasnt the literal main character alongside jean #i was living for everything jean thought but had to drag myself through jeremy's pov if im honest #uuuuh what else. neil! funny. deranged. i have to love him #andrew couldnt give less of a fuck about jean which is funny as all fuck #two bugs placed in the same habitat ignoring each other #the thing with elodie i thought was complicated. i wish we knew some more about her or that shed been mentioned a little earlier #but im assuming thats a topic to be revisited #uuuuuuuh yeah so thats most of it. i think my first thought and the one that sticked out the most to me is that the book felt remarkably #pedestrian #not necessarily in a bad way #it lacked to me one of the main appeals of aftg which were the numerous interesting side characters

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angelboybreakdowns · 26 days

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im so tired

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saeshiraw · 8 months

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tired girl hours i’m just ranting bcos i don’t have enough time to cry

#tw rant #studying med is no joke. ik it was gonna be a commitment n that it wasnt gonna be easy n i thought i was prepared but im not #its my passion. i love what im studying and ive dedicated myself to this path but i just. its so hard n i just want to cry. everyday feels #so tiring. morning to night classes. when i get home i have to read 4 chapters MINIMUM n the books are so thick + exams almost everyday #i feel worse knowing there’s this 1 girl in my friend group that cant decide whether she likes me or not. one moment shes complimenting me #n asking where i get my outfits or my nails done or my earrings or whatever then praising me that i probably study the least out of everyone #yet still reach high student rankings but its not that im lazy im just so exhausted n its hard to have motivation... lowkey envy how my #friends study minimum 4 hours a day. we’re all tired n sleep deprived. even taking 30mins to eat makes me feel guilty. cant even watch 1 ep #of an anime bcos ill be thinking about the amount of work to do. and i have sm plans. i wanna be more active and have a healthier lifestyle #but i cant find it in me to wake up every 5am to go to the gym when i just wanna get as much sleep when im lucky to finish my studies today #i also dont see my bestest friends everyday anymore. some of us move to diff unis or some in diff majors. i just miss them so bad it hurts #and i miss the girl i used to be when i still had time and energy to indulge in my hobbies. i miss playing genshin and writing fics #just when i got back to writing and enjoyed it LOVED IT i had to go back to uni. i feel terribly lonely even when im always with people #im afraid ill completely lose grasp of the little things that make me happy bcos the weight of my responsibilities are heavier #im afraid ill be too focused on success again like i was when i was 17 and forget that its okay to relax too but idk #and i wanna meet more people make more friends have new experiences. i wanna feel alive again. and theres sm i wanna talk to or get to know #but im so afraid of people hurting me or disappointing me or people getting to know me only for the friendships to fail or we’ll dislike eac #h other. i wanna date and fall in love again and experience the romance my peers have. i wanna have someone to call my own person but the fe #ar of having someone only to lose them someday scares the hell outta me. im not ready for another heartbreak so i isolate myself and watch #people from afar. uni gives me sm freedom to do everything else and form my own identity but i dont wanna be Perceived. I wanna be heard and #seen n connect with people. but w my curreny state idt i can handle being vulnerable with others. it feels so lonely that the things i want #are out of my rrach but idt i can manage my time to meet new people and make new memories. i console myself by shopping a lot and going to #spas to relax yet i still find it hard to sleep. im afraid im wasting my time. im not as brave as i used to be. im not as efficient as i was #i get older and more tired and while i never questioned if studying med was the path i want i do question what will happen next #“is this all im ever going to be?” im good at what i do but day by day i lose sight of tje girl who knew how to laugh n smile. ik what makes #me happy but i rarely smile genuinely anymore. im so tired and want to sleep for a long time but i dont wanna fail. i dont wanna be NOT good #but it makes me cry when i know i can do many great things but i dont feel loved. people compliment me but dont approach me bcos they say im #intimidating or that im too quiet in class. i wish i could tell them i wanna join their parties too or i wanna meet their friends n hangout #but what if it doesnt work out? what if i wasted my time getting to know someone id eventually regret? what if im the disappointing one?#the days are getting shorter but it always feels like a long day. im ashamed to admit i want someone to hold me yet refuse to have anyone

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the-acid-pear · 7 days

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I never tried the option myself bc it'd probably mean skipping the Reason You Suck speech at the end (fire for speedrunners though) but I Love that you can frame your Phoneys in 3, especially so if you've already killed the previous two. Like yeah couldn't send you off to die so i'll let the goverment do it for me 🧸 like its just Peak evil imo.

#luly talks #i do relinquish in the pain and the agony but dont get me wrong the thought of any of them 3 getting jailed makes me SO sad #rog esp since he's the one im writing about and the biggest nerve wreck #gingi voice they'll be the last one to pick the board game for prison-game-night..........#actually yknow i wonder if rog would end up almost believing it after all when you try to gaslight him for the shits and giggles #(as in: telling HE was victim of the bite of 87 and the like) he tells you to not do that bc his brain is already scrambled or something #so there's a chance perhaps he'd believe it if he had everyone constantly accussing him of it?#not like it'd matter much i have no hopes for the dsaf justice system i know its been 35 years since jack got framed but still #i just remembered when the option popped up i said ''god im really becoming steven 😭''#first time i made the joke too was when i said ''imagine your boss sucks so bad you turn suicidal'' no clue what the context was #OH YEAH JAKE SAYING HE'D RATHER FUCKING DIE THAN KEEP WORKING HERE yeah. poor guy.#anyway im derailing my own post again uhhh. yeah. yeah i dont trust any phoney is avoiding the death sentence #dsaf #roger jones #dsaf roger #btw just for the sake of yapping longer i truly cant decide whether harry or jake would survive better in the enviroment #probably jake to be honest. I mean Harry has a lot of experience inside freddy's but he didnt really live outside it muhc #jake is so confrontational though #hey did you guys watch the hit movie felon? sure that guy wasn't framed but. i feel like jake would end up w that attitude #except for. you know. everything else that happens in the hit movie felon.#hey actually forget about this game go watch the 10/10 movie Felon from 2008 starring Val Kilmer and Stephen Dorff #because its one of my all time fave movies and probably the saddest i've seen #not bc there arent movies that are more tragic but bc no movie was able to break thru my walls of idgaf and make me cry anyway #yeah you thought i couldnt bring up my movie fixations on my different fandom posts well you were WRONG in fact #im gonna go tag my other post i left untagged yesterday bc my ass was Cooking

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perenlop · 15 days

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pokeani moments that exist purely to make Me miserable:

the line where they call ash's oshawott a throwaway pokemon in the unova league so they're just flat out saying they think it's a worthless pokemon

to thine own pokemon be true (extra angst points for me bc ambipom was my second favorite on the team at the time)

the granddaughter of the guy who trains gliscor calling gliscor pathetic and weak to her face despite gliscor being an extremely sensitive pokemon

pretty much everything about that gible

blue episode (favorite color but they made it a fetish somehow and also dewott and brionne and meowstic are all there and its so bad)

boxing heracross immediately. also that battle frontier episode where it's literally the only returning ash mon (barring torkoal i think but i dont count it bc its native to AG) to get humiliated onscreen

pidgeot returning but gliscor didn't even show up in the miniseries despite being an Actual Character

#sorry ik i keep bringing up the throwaway line but like. its SOOOOOOOOOO bad holy shit #the heracross one isnt aaaaaas bad tbf bc they really make up for it in the sinnoh league #but aside from one ep in the miniseries we never quite get an episode where oshawott proves itself in a battle #i still love that episode bc it still kinda feels like an apology for all the oshawott bashing in bw but i am a little :/#that battling didnt even come up once #ive kiiinda eased up on gliscors benching episode bc at the end of the day it isssss pretty good to her. also its the best animated one #but its treatment like what i mentioned that still really drags it down to me #and also like. i know ppl praise gliscor being so powerful after the episode but i really dont get why we couldnt have just #had a gliscor training arc onscreen. but ig we wouldnt have that stupid ass gible plot that went nowhere now would we #but like.... we had such a huge stretch between that episode and the league. i really dont get why we couldnt have had a mini arc #where gliscor realizes shes not pulling her weight that well and really starts hauling ass #she doesnt really even sweep in the paul fight. she gets beaten immediately by ninjask #the drapion part was awesome tho yayyyy #but my point is that it wouldnt really change much if gliscor just stayed and got stronger on its own #have the bench episode be a wake up call for gliscor rather than a goodbye one and she becomes super competent #like im not just saying this bc gliscor is my favorite character in the entire show. i feel like its straight up kinda lazy and less reward #rewarding #imagine how the drapion fight could be EVEN MORE cathartic if we saw gliscor struggle and fight to get better throughout the show #as much as i like that specific battle and ash vs paul as a whole... it just kinda proves my point that sending gliscor away at all #was kind of a shitty move #like ohhhhh ash's team is all getting revenge for lake acuity yay!!!!! oh one of them was kicked off for the sake of a shitty gible plot th #which really only served to make shitty piplup bashing jokes and only actually had a conclusion in the league itself #by which time it was too late to actually do anything else with it. yeah we kicked someone off for that. but shes back now!!!#like it doesnt weaken the battle THAT much. in fact theres some value in how ash went out of his way to make sure gliscor could be there #so her defeat could also be avenged. and its still my fave battle in the whole anime. but it just proves to me how pointless that was reall #echoed voice

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pezpenser205 · 23 days

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3am monday morning mood

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kohakhearts · 5 months

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well folks its been a good two months of denial but i am finally ready to admit that the reason everything sucks is because of major depression relapse. if i werent so depressed id make this everyone elses problem by projecting it on to blorbo but alas

#taylor.txt #incapable of making this not a joke but i do have to say it kinda sucks #like obviously ive never been 100% free of my depression probably on account of it developing when i was a Child and then not getting any #treatment or even really any sympathy for until i was in my late teens but. BUT. even my historic mental breakdown 2 years ago didnt really #feel like depression. like yeah i was sad and hopeless but this is very different. sad and lethargic more so. simply too tired to be lost i #despair. which is i guess a good thing because it means its easier for me to fix. its just that right now im kinda stuck in it #i dont know if id say ive experienced major depression since my first year of uni #thats why ive been denying it all this time despite it being pretty…glaringly obvious #anyway. good news is im meeting with the prof of one of the classes im currently failing this week #and now i guess i kind of have an idea of what to tell her because all this time ive been struggling and i havent understood why #the content makes sense. i understand whats going on. but my memory has gotten so bad recently and the energy required to do my assignments #has been way too much. and im past my limit on that at this point unfortunately. like yeah shes probably gonna tell me well that sucks but #theres nothing i can do to save your grade and thats fine but at least i know even if it was a Me Problem that i let myself get depressed #again in the first place being actively depressed is a major barrier that i at least know isnt 100% me being an idiot with a bad attitude #i will struggle to the finish line but i will make it there. even if i fail a class or two in the process #and regardless of if it gets better i will finally go see my therapist again in the new year </3 something obviously led to this so whos to #say it wouldnt happen again if i just let that fester. whatever it is #also writing has been tough for the same reason school has been tough but its still happening and i will do more of it when school is over #i PROMMY

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bangcakes · 1 month

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#personal #saw 2 of my friends from school tonight #they asked how its goin with you know who and i was like hhhhhh #and they were like. you should just ask him out #n im like. um........... NDJDJDJDJD #bc literally EVERYONE is saying this to me.#why cant HE ask ME????? god its so #but i am older... by just 2 years. maybe thats intimidating???? he doesnt seem intimidated by me tho. god idk #i think im gonna message him tomorrow #its been like 2 weeks idk JDJXXXKXKKX #i did have a bad cold tho.... JDJJDNDD #god... why is this so hard. and like why is he SO?????? difficult????#ok not difficult. i think actually hes quite simple but Andjkfkfkdkdk #idk how to explain this man. i really dont. hes like me if you removed the overthinking and my filter #but idk im also scared to start something im not ready for #but then..... feel like it kind of already started #god idk #and with more time passing im like. OH GOD WHAT IF HE FINDS SOMEONE ELSE #????#but then if thats the case then ok fine it wasnt meant to be #i also am just like.... i feel like. the possibility of anyone liking me back is just... way too foreign #like. idk sometimes im like. what if this is all a joke JDKJDKDKDKDKDM #god idk idk #im also like maybe i should pretend to friendzone him in my mind so that its Less Scary to talk to him #bc like. once i do talk to him its literally fine NDJDJDJKDMD #hhhhhhhh

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pankomako · 9 months

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dude i swear if i actually make gang's bay a real show and i write a joke about being trans people are gonna be like "this is incredibly offensive to trans people" and im gonna have to come out and be like "yall im literally a trans person writing myself im just having a laugh why cant you too"

like seriously where's the line between a joke poking fun for laughs and a joke that's actually offensive? i feel like that's a little bit subjective dontcha think

#sorry i literally cant stop thinking about this #i think we need to learn how to laugh at our own imperfections and just our attributes in general #even when they're being joked about from an outside perspective #people laugh at italian stereotypes and little german boy and conservative cartoons actively trying to offend queer people #oh but when a guy known to make fun of autistics makes a video making fun of 20-years-old european music suddenly thats bad #i feel like this ties into the whole idea of critical thinking too. which people are actively getting worse at on all sides #people need to learn to lighten up. not everything needs to either be 'safe to enjoy' or 'actively avoid this bad thing because its bad'#i actively watch helluva boss despite all the controversy around it. i dont give a fuck it's a funny show about hell whatever #i've been trying to avoid saying it because i was afraid people would block me about it. personally i dont have an opinion on the drama #it's just. swagever dude! im so tired of controversy over media actually what the fuck ever i dont care #there's an episode of clone high where they have a REALLY stereotyped charicature of adhd. i watch it anyway bc it's silly #are people boycotting the new spiderverse over the alleged stress workers faced? doesnt fucking seem like it!#idk maybe im just stubborn. or people REALLY need to grow thicker skin and lighten up #there is almost ALWAYS gonna be problems with something you like. learn to not give a shit and have fun anyway

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whollyjoly · 3 months

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watching mash s11ep4 the joker is wild for the first time and...boy howdy do i have thoughts on bj's trapper complex

#mostly i think its absolutely fascinating for the writers to make trap's absence such a big part of bj's character and character development #and i dont mean character development in a good way i mean it in an actively bad way actually #but like how many shows do you watch where a character is “replaced” because an actor leaves that show #and we actually see the negative implications to that character replacing them #like it would be so easy for the writers to kind of hand wave over bj replacing trapper - just another cog in the army machine etc etc #but to make the choice that being a “replacement” to trapper would impact bj's state of mind so greatly #so LATE in the show too??#is fucking incredible storytelling actually #like bj had spent so long actually *trying* to be the replacement trapper #working on the still riffing off of hawk's jokes causing shenanigans #until he hits this spiral and breaking point in seasons 10/11 and seeing him almost...lash out? chafe? against that comparison #that building tension and exhaustion to always being in someones shadow #the writers sat on that for like SEVEN YEARS #and i just think thats fucking insane and amazing actually #its also hard as a viewer because like #i love bj #but he *is* trapper's replacement #and that makes this all the harder to watch because on the one hand im like “bj's right to feel this way”#but im also like “...trap would never”#so i am in fact falling into the conceit that everyone in the 4077 is #which makes the writing and storytelling #all the better #sorry not sorry for the insane tags on this whoops #em starts mashposting #m*a*s*h #mashposting #bj's trapper complex #bj hunnicutt #trapper john mcintyre #im also v new to the mash fandom and mash discourse so i have no idea if this is interesting or obvious oh well

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imaginryfriend · 5 months

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i got deadnamed at my mom's funeral and all i got was this stupid t-shirt

#this post sucks sorry. i know this is my own blog and i can post whatever i want and its nice to get my misfortune out somewhere #but sometimes i still feel bad venting lmao #barely a vent. just joking so i dont feel like shit about it #i had a nametag and everything too. impossible to fuck up #at least the rest was closure #txt

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caruliaa · 10 months

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the problem with carulia is that there isnt a rly good classic multi chap au fanfic for it for me to loose my mind over. and most of the multi chap fanfic that is out there for it straight up bad if i remeber right 👍🏽

#like not bad bad like mischaracterizing bad yk. i also havent read a lot in a while but yk #i remember there was this one fanfic called hook line and sinker that like in the old og carulia server was joked abt as like #thee caruia fanfic and so many people had read it and its so bad and not good #bad carulia characterization !!! it was like carmen youre Perfect at everything and julia is so flustered by your flirtatiousness and ugghh #ihate u ppl sometimes !! specifcally the people of ao3 bc omfg #how come people like saw carulia and saw the interactions that show their relationship and the actual dynamic they have #and only like. take the fact that theyre in love from it and just add a dynamic that so not their dynamic and so bad over top of it #just uggh. im sure there is a lot of rly good carulia fanfic out there tbh. but also not searching for it rn its wayy too late #i was just thinking bc im like. jealous/envious whichever one means i want what u have NOT i dont want u to have what u have #whenever luce mentions w.a.r. like pls i also want a thee multichap fanfic tht makes me feel insane for my fave ship #andi have been in fandoms/had ship were they have had tht nd iwant it soo badly w carulia.#ig i will have to write one then but also i dont have any multi chap au fanfic ideasss 😭😭😭#and i shldnt be coming up with any at a point were im not even working on my non au mostly one shot ones lmao #flappy rambles

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perenlop · 5 months

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well i finished renegade. i sure was renegading all over the place

#it was alriiiight.... but man i hate to say it but i think i have more complaints than praises #i DID like florins new execution route and i liked talons deal. the entire end of night spell deal was horrifying and i loved it #i love that genre of horror like ''you die twice when you get forgotten after death''#so seeing it play out here was horrifying in a good way. talon and amber's deaths were both so fucking good like goddamn #they were just as heartbreaking as they needed to be. especially ambers like when you go talk to tesla after #but. man i dont think meta games are for me cause ngl i was sorta just like ''aight.'' to most of the meta here #like that was the one thing about talon i didnt care for. i thought ''everyone i know and love is going to die and god is screaming at me''#was a fine enough motivation to go crazy and become a rift. i thought it was compelling and tragic and a good thing to do #with a new character. but then he started going ''in older versions of the game i wasnt even there i was just a prop for the backstory''#and thats sorta when i started tuning out. like i cant explain why but i feel it made the scene more... cheap?#i think just cause personally ive seen that motivation a lot in meta games before and its gotten old to me #tbh the entire meta angle is whats really dragging this down to me. dont get me wrong i love eizen and his scenes #but i dont see why we have to canonize the game's update cycles as like a critical part of the world #and then theres m2 who i have mixed feelings on. cause i love the character type of ''ive been through so much shit idc anymore''#and they end up being kinda goofy and saying inappropriate/out of pocket things while trying not to discuss The Horrors #ive written more than one of those types of characters. but with m2 its like she doesnt know how to turn that off #like spacea and tiempa's deaths being a tera raid parody where they joke about being in a crashing plane and get bashed by extra melias #it just felt like. unfitting. (also a nitpick but goddamn that scene made my head hurt with how much the screen wobbled)#like really? this is the sendoff they get in the fucked up and evil route? and idk i just dont think m2 was all that funny.#she was more grating than anything tbh. and i just feel like her existence and the bad timeline is just Too Much #like there were already so many plotlines and arcs and do we Really need a new-ish character right before the climax #idk. im hoping v14 is more cohesive in this department #for now im taking a much needed break from this game lol

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