#but im not insecure about it irl

[mysicklove]

PSA: weird kinda thing, but im not into writing/thirsting about reader receiving head/face sitting/toy use/any sort of stimulation only toward reader? idk why but its just....not my thing. irl obvi thats different story LMAO, but for writing purposes pls pls dont send specific thirsts about that.

im not too strict on it, so if you do send it in ill prob be like "true👍" and just not elaborate on it. readers pleasure for some reason is just not what i focus on, soooooooo yeah. ill add it onto my rules rn.

for clarification, i dont mind being like, "blah blah blah lovessss giving reader head!" or "blah blah blah lovesss pleasuring reader!" cause yes! agree!!!! but i just wont write about it more in depth.

DOES THAT MAKE SENSE???? i feel like i sound silly.

#🔪 - mello talks too much #its why i dont write too many bottom reader fics #cause i just dont prefer writing readers pleasure #ik alot of reader like fics catering to reader but not me #i dont like writing about my genitalia #strangely enough #but im not insecure about it irl #IDK IM WEIRD IM SORRY

[bizarrescribblez]

I'm hooked on a feeling

I'm high on believing

That you're in love with me

#ERM #RUNS AWAY IM NOT EVEN ELABORATING #anyways you can barely see but I drew myself with arm hair cuz I have it irl ówò #ITS SOMETHING IM INSECURE ABOUT BUT I ACTUALLY LIKE DRAWING IT NOW?? #🗡️☂️ lay all your love on me #self ship community #self ship #f/o community #self ship art #self shipping #fictional other #fictional other community #s/i x f/o #self insert x fictional other

[ruinikaido]

i wish i was as social i make myself out to be irl, more social than the average awkward inept tumblr user is still not social enough

#anddddd i want people to like me a lot more #and i want to take care of my appearance more and not go in the same four bland legging-sweater outfits to school #wouldnt hurt to have a stable friendgroup and not be thrown around by the same couple of people 60% of whom i do not care about like that #would be nice if i was allowed to hang out in my old friend group and have them actually care when they never did also #i talk to everyone in my grade but because i do no one caresssssssssssss #well im going to uni next year i can fix all of this ^_^ #i dont like feeling people lose interest in me and feeling myself lose interest too im boredddddddddddddddddddd #(massively insecure) #extremely rude to say this but the majority of people i am currently in contact with irl to some degree annoy me if youre on here not you #btw i love you and i just mald over like #seeing other people i want to be friends with but cant get out to #i should be and im made to be more popular so whats holding me back #ughhhhh i feel empty ever since something!

[vse-kar-vem]

how to write vent post title that does not come off as self-pitying and or accusatory (because it's NOT !)

#sorry tumblr is like a diary to me idk what i'll do w this blog after i (sigh) inevitably move on #either way #im convinced everyone hates me again :3 but realistically no one cares about me even enough to hate me im just stupid and self centred 💔 #if anything me TYPING these posts is actuvely turning people against me #again with the assumptions that people care enough to read these 😭 fhskfbhsjfkg #i hate that i care so much what people online think of me cuz irl it's like. whatever #but here there are so many cool people who i admire and would love to be friends with im always hyperparanoid of everything i do #and still i manage to overstep and come off as annoying #like obvs you're allowed to hate me even if you're someone i look up to like that's your perogative #but i hate worrying about IF anyone hates me #oughgh this is easier irl because usually people send off pretty clear signals if they dont like you #but online (esp with how prickly this fandom is) i don't know whether im being insecure and reading into things or whether people just don't #like me (which again is fine i would just rather know if anyone gets it) #i figure art is the one way i can get people to like me 💔 which sounds kinda pathetic because irl i KNOW im liked and capable! #fandom has just become such a big part of my personality that i cant detach my self worth from it #and i do love art and drawing and such i hate that even if i know people my stuff EYE dont and it doesnt mean anything or act as a signifier #of my friendships #wow .... i really am my own therapist ..... i should shut up #the industrial revolution and its consequences (jofandom) #i think these posts are half self exploration half ... almost self harm? because sometimes im so derogatory about myself on purpose in a #'you're worthless' way. but at the same time it's cathartic and i always feel better having probed at my feelings and gotten them in order #not to do a complete 180 but it's MY post and JO LONDON IN *12* DAYS!!!!!!!! AHH i'm sooo excited if it doesnt live up to my expectations i #may cry a little. and there will be another vent post from me ! #sometimes i wonder if anyone actually reads these 😭 #vee rambles

[talkfastcal]

update i talked about the mutuals in therapy again tonight

#love yall #anyways i was talking about how whenever those 'compliment prev' posts show up on the dash i get excited #because i love complimenting the person im rbing from but then when people rb from me and say nice things about me #i want to cry and its also reassurance #because its like: growing up i was always told 'youre too loud. you cry a lot. you talk too much. the way you talk is weird.' #so its like when one of my mutuals (jasper) said they like how i “speak” it was really reassuring. #especially since i have a comprehension disorder so i always feel like im struggling to get the words out. both irl and when typing #or that i have to stutter/stumble over my words from talking too fast #because i always go through life like 'do not perceive me. ugh that person is thinking about me and i cant control what theyre thinking- #so now im insecure. they probably think im weird or annoying' #and now seeing someone compliment me or that people do enjoy seeing me on their dash idk it's just....really reassuring #not to get sappy because of this hellsite but i do really appreciate all of you so much. even if we dont talk or interact <3

[scottishstoner]

Some pics of me I like within the past year (most recent is the last pic) just to boost my self confidence coz I hate how I look :)) lol

#be ​positive and confident in yourself !! #sometimes im like yeah I’m not bad then other times im like nope we ugly bitch lol #I need to have more confidence in myself although I may act confident irl I am insecure about my looks #actually me #feeling myself #cmon idk what to tag this lol

[scarycranegame]

the second someone describes something as "cringe" in a negative way is the second that i instantly lose all respect for them

#not fandom #cringe culture is fucking dead!! even for things you dont personally like!! #yes this goes for kinks and fetishes and everything ''immoral'' and ''icky'' #as long as it doesnt hurt irl people #bronies. furries. fetishists. kinksters. freaks. creeps. weirdos. all of you. i love you all so much #people with ''weird'' interests and hobbies and special interests #people who cope with trauma thru dark fiction and people who enjoy dark fiction in general regardless of their pasts #age regressors and otherkin and fictionkin and selfshippers #i love everyone who's seen as ''cringe'' by boring & insecure people so so so so so much <333 #if everyone was the same and only ever liked/did ''normal'' things the world would be so boring #and im so glad you all exist and do stuff that you enjoy #regardless of what other people say about you #scary crane rambles

[thatdude-noah]

i really wish i knew more aro people in real life because sometimes being aro feels so lonely. and there isn't as much representation for aromantic people as there is for other identities. so it can be so hard to feel secure in my identity and my community and where i fit in the world overall because i have very few models to look up to and even less friends living a similar life to me.

#the way that like. cis people don't understand what you're talking about when you're trans. and having trans friends is so freeing. #allo people don't understand what i'm talking about when i talk about being aro. even if they're queer. and it feels lonely sometimes. #aromantic #im so. new to identifying as aromantic because i've been so insecure in the identity. and now im trying to actually explore it. #and my insecurity only grows because i only know like. two or three aro people. and they're all my internet friends. #i love my internet friends so much but there's also something about irl friendships and connections that. is very nice. #idk i'm. in a bad brain tonight.

[niishi]

I don't understand why there's such a pressure on representing your gender identity outwardly when it's literally so fucking dangerous. If you're brave enough good for you. If you have enough mental strength, good for you. But y'all need to stop taking that and using it as an example of how trans ppl should present themselves and then making them feel less than and invalid when they don't do it your way. It takes a lot of strength and a lot of bravery and a lot of mental strength, to be able to do that. Like an astronomical amount. Expecting everyone to have that ability is weird. And I know, logically, people don't expect that. When you actually sit down and have a nuanced conversation, everyone understands this.. but the way trans ppl who don't pass or don't outwardly represent a binary gender on their bodies, get invalidated and treated like they're not good enough bc they're not as brave as you,is ridiculous. It needs to stop.

#people are superficial and self absorbed #yes trans ppl too #and when a trans person like that transitions or outwardly expresses themselves and even moreso when they “pass” #they DO (not always) make it a point to invalidate you or leave you out of the conversation #if youre not able to express yourself as well as they are #ppl put others down in order to make themselves feel valid #thats gotta stop #ive been irl friends with 4 trans guys #all who outwardly transitioned and are expressive and open about it #all 4 of those trans guys have excluded me from my identity #misgendered me relentlessly #i keep having to reiterate that im a man bc ppl see long hair and and “fem” clothing #and imply that im not a man bc of it #yall are obsessed with cis normativity #youre obsessed with the gender binary #youre obsessed with pink meaning girl and blue meaning boy #you have not done the work to unlearn that ignorance at all #stop making ppl suffer bc youre insecure and ignorant #anyways its easier for me to look the way ive always looked and to be hidden. im used to living that life. i can cope with this saddness and #distress ive had since i was 4.im used to it... i cannot cope with more pain and distress added on by making myself an open target for hate #trans ppl arent martyrs and we should stop forcing ppl who arent comfortable and dont feel safe from the public and themselves #to be martyrs

[pepprs]

im discontent and tired but like too discontent and tired to put it into words i think. lol

#purrs #prefacing this as usual by saying that i love my job. but also… every single situation. EVERY situation. is a primal situation in one way. l #like either i am dying of hunger / thirst / sleep deprivation and feeling it so hard i can’t focus on my work or i am so stressed that i am #being chased into a hidey hole by all the pressures or i am projecting my parents onto ppl and reliving primal moments of abaondoment and ex #exclusion LMFAO. And it’s like there’s no wonder i am so fucking exhausted every day when i come home i have lived 746 lifetimes in the last #8-9 hours. but it’s just so insane and im so tired. i literally thought i was gonna have an anxiety attack earlier today and it was bc i had #health anxiety bc my heart was pounding so hard over my facilitation anxiety that i got scared my heart was legitimately going to give out a #and then i started spiralling and like. lol i don’t think that’s healthy. i just want the election to be over so fucking bad but also i cant #just throw up my hands and give up and hope for the best i am literally being paid to give everything i have to making the world better so i #im gonna do it it’s just i am so often like the youngest and least experienced person in the room and im insecure about that and also i am j #just scared like… as a person and it’s just a lot to deal with i guess. lol #guess i was able to put it into words lol. but the moments of me projecting shit are so annoying bc then i get mad and then my feelings get #hurt bc no one notices im mad but also i don’t want anyone to notice im mad bc im being stupid for literaly no reason so. idk im just #ear ripped tated right now over stupid stupid shit that genuinely does not matter and has no bearing but when it’s little things that build #up over the course of the day… idk. it’s just hard 💃🏻 #delete later #this is abt smth that happened in a meeting today brw it’s not abt anyone including irls i saw today / this week i love u 😽 #also side note i saw literally SO many of the ppl closest to me this week. like that used to be an almost every day occurrence and i think t #this week not only did i see… like not to name drop on my tumblr blog with redacted followers but not only did i see you markya and #david but i saw tirzah AND brandon AND radia. WTF!!!!! that’s so many of my favorite people all in one week!!!! :DDDDDDD #(omg pretend i put ‘you’ after all the ppl it applies to)

[tr0ubl3d-tr4n53nd3r]

Wii Fit when I stand on the board

Measuring! Measuring!

Ohhhhh

Root beer cereal, this girl doesn't have healthy eating habits!

And what's she gonna do Crush a rubic cube?

(it probably be best if we fed her through a tube)

#im not as insecure about my weight as i seem online #im also not as uninsecure as i seem irl. #im a secret third option #ride the cyclone

[biolums]

why not mewhynot me whynotme whynotMEwhy Not Mewhy not me whynot me whynotme Whynot me WHYNOTME why not me. why not me

#irls please dont read this. sorry #im so overwhelmed rn. and i fucking feel like im going to die #like yes we all know im soooo unlovable that nothing new but god. i just want to be intimate and have someone be my safe space again #i KNOW its unhealthy and its not like its ever gonna happen again. but its all i can fucking dream of #i wwnt to be all someone thinks about just like how i always think about them. maybe i just want to be equals in a relationship. because #CLEARLY my last relationship i was the only one feeling anything!! and CLEARLY I PUT ALL THE FUCKING WORK IN AND I LOVED SO HARD. AND #IT WASNT EGEN AN UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP IT WAS THE HEALTHIEST ONE IVE EVER BEEN IN. BUT IM STILL TOO MUCH 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 #even now i cant think about that too much because i literally think were soulmates. and its Too Upsetting to think about that #when she broke up with me and said ‘i had a lot of fun with you’. we dated for 11 months. you met my family. donyou know how mucch ghat #CRUSHED me #i was doing so well. and i was having healthy relationship thoughts! and i was telling myself that i was just insecure those last few weeks. #and then i fucking spiraled OF COURSE I SPIRALLED. #hahahahahaha im not even talking about the other thing i think ill really kill myself if i think out that at all #whatever i dont even have time to be having a breakdown right now!! haha hahahaah i literally cant imagine making it to the end of this week #jace.txt

[windose20s]

pov i know that my mutual doesnt need any more irls but i read a wiki that seems a little themcore [ edit : pov miracle may be a little bit stupid /lh ]

#hi fio . . . i wont link the wiki unless you want it bc 01. im very insecure about my assignments no matter how well i know the mutual #so i feel very awkward assigning it #and 02. i dont want to curse you with another idolmas irl #﹙♡. txt ﹚ #it might be a stretch anyways but still

[marsixm]

i also sometimes need the space to be able to vent about the stuff thats happened in my personal life in the past couple years and am paranoid about people from the local community following me on here when i do not want them to

#like i need to be able to have the nuance to say i can love friends and feel like theyre family but also #the fucking environment was so toxic sometimes for no fucking reason #and thats part of why im so fucked up right now #because ive been in this bubble that i felt too insecure to want to disengage from #because i needed the validation of being loved and cared about #and now shits just crazy but i have my own physical space to heal more #except now im coming out of like years worth of dealing w irl drama #to feel like im so distant from my internet community and it makes me so sad #thats why im sad rn! #and i know its the stress of work talking but im still sad!!! #and if youre in the irl community and you follow me on here please stop <3

[astrxealis]

damn i never thought i'd get into stardew valley this much but here we are !! makes perfect sense tho

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #heyy this adds to my roster of games that actually have Evidence #gotta play more soulsborne legitimately soon so i have more evidence of my range LMFAO ... #i love how my. taste in games is really broad tbh! i'm willing to try anything out but i do uhh am less inclined to the more popular ones? #unless i get into them by way of. personal. or without outside influence #but if there's a certain something that makes me dislike a media yeah ... i do end up more indifferent tho. ultimately #i think sdv is another huge example of how me and lune really go all in when getting into smth #like terraria. but we end up forgetting about it pretty soon after. oops! #it depends tbh on how bored we are? how much we have to do. so yeah #xiv was That for a very long time bcs we didn't really have anything else uhh insert hashtag xiv was there for us when nobody was #aaa so thankful to xiv fr. idk. i think about what it has done for me sometimes and i get really emotional! #also funny how things connect. i got back into tumblr bcs of jjk and then connected w others mostly thru gi. and then twt thru a friend i #met thru a school event wholy thru chance. who got me back into twt where i connected with others thru ff(xiv) #and i find it fascinating how people make friends irl! i think its easy for me to feel that way 1. its just who i am lol its in my nature #2. im more of a bystander so. yeah. ez for me to study people and people-watch. idm that much tbh #it's funny... hmm interesting? a bit sad too. wnvr i want to. Take A Step Further. i end up not caring anymore LMFAOOO but tbh it's really #nice in the long run! my outlook on life is pretty weird tbh like uhh... idk. hard to explain. complex #whenever i face a problem i'm. absolutely confident i'll get over it. and unfortunately i feel like that... sense of confidence is rather ra #rare*? idk. and the fact i've always known (always!) i'd love myself no matter what. even if sometimes i would be really insecure. i never #truly hated myself and i sincerely doubt i ever will. but the fact i often suceed and rise from my failures that sometimes they don't feel #like failures doesn't mean that uhh i'll end up facing my downfall through. naive confidence? i try to be self-aware and do my best for no #regrets and it's fascinating how my values in life are shaped by my past. not just me. everyone. damn. i think the formative years of a #person are so goddamn fascinating and also i'm still unsure what i want for college but it's already fucking march HELP #anyway wow. i dont want to be too harsh on myself if the What If bad scenario/s end up happening but i'll really try my best #my aunts on my dad side both got into up diliman and i'll be damned if i don't. i know i can do it. i just gotta put in a ton of effort. #okay rambles bye bye #also i've been staying up until 3/4 ever since break LMFAOOO SDV HAS RUINED ME dw i'll be good again next week lmfao

[skenpiel]

LMFAO I JUST REALIZED I NEVER LOOKED UP THE VIDEOS THAT YOUTUBER FEATURED US IN FROM NCS 😭 this is borderline painful to watch

#I WANTED TO SEE IF THERE WERE ANY MORE PICTURES OF US FROM COMICCON #bc so many people took pictures of us youd think wed be featured somewhere other than a chess site. but no </3 #gonna have to blame that on the fact that 1. neither me nor my sister have an instagram to share when asked #and 2. i look so fucking bad in all pictures always. total garbage #i look soooo good irl but im so unphotogenic its painful 😭 #ANYWAY there was that one youtuber who films me at every con i totally forgot about the utdr meetup (read: 1 hour group photoshoot) at ncs #IM THERE LAWL. A LOT. #i loved my noelle cosplay i really did feel pretty in it. however. #i have literally never been more insecure about not having brown eyes i felt like a total freak #i guess u could argue with her ice themes blue/gray eyes would..... MAYBE fit......... but literally it felt so wrong #in what world does a sweet doe have cold hostile blue eyes. NEVER is the answer #shoutout to everyone with brown eyes you make ife worth living /gen