#but im by no means opposed to an interaction because of that !

[askthepaldeanpassenger]

Star Sending 2023 - @askturnipdeerling

"Mx. Cyrus! Lookit this! Doesn't it seem like fun!" The Sprigatito hurries over to their guardian, holding an envelope. "'Star Sending'... Do you think we could meet new people this way? We could make 'em smile, too!"

The Espeon looks over the contents quietly before nodding their head. "Yes, perhaps so, Young Master." Cyrus skims over the list again and tilts their head. "What do you think we should purchase for them?"

"I've got a better idea," Prince exclaims, pulling out a map from Cyrus's bag. "I bet we could make something with the flowers in Artazon!"

Cyrus: "Greetings. An honor to meet you." They bow to both Risa and Turnip.

Prince: "We made these for ya! Hope ya like them. C'mon, open it up, open it up!"

Prince excitedly hands his box to Turnip, Cyrus chuckling and shaking their head before floating their box over to Risa.

Prince: "Ta-da! Some flowers from Artazon! They're- um... G-gaze..."

Cyrus: "Gazanias. And Blue Geraniums, I believe?"

Prince: "Yeah! One means something like 'treasure', and 'loyalty'! That's what they said, right?"

((I'M SO SORRY THAT I PUT THIS OUT SO LATE. I ran into a lot of things and didn't intend to post on the last day of the event, but I wanted to make sure it was special, too!

If you would like to make an interaction out of this, feel free to! Either way, I hope you had a Happy Holidays, that the New Year has treated you well so far, and a thank you for the work you've done with your characters so far!))

#pokeask blog #Prince #sprigatito #Cyrus #Espeon #pokestarsending2023 #This is also taking place outside the current blog canon #but im by no means opposed to an interaction because of that ! #HAPPY STAR SENDING! ^^

[hecksupremechips]

I love to imagine Rebecca as trans like it just has become so ingrained in my mind it feels weird it’s not canon. She realized at a young age and her parents were supportive and let her present how she wanted and they used her name and pronouns, but they weren’t around enough to go the extra mile for her and make sure she was being protected. She was the target of some pretty bad bullying at school, both from the students and the staff, and Ashton was the first person to defend her. Ashton is cishet (cuz I think it’s funny) and hes kinda ignorant at first but he tries his best and he just likes Rebecca and wants good things for her and he’s so emo he scares away the bullies lol. And this was definitely a big part in Rebecca gaining feelings for him he just showed her this special kinda care that no one else ever did, and it’s what makes her extra insecure as the years go by. Cuz she wonders if maybe the reason Ashton never seems to reciprocate her feelings is because she’s trans and he just never thought to see her as romance material as a result. Which is a line of thinking that gets out of control really bad and she never gets to have the closure she wants with it either

She tells Isabella that’s shes trans just cuz they’re best friends and it sorta comes up eventually. Isabella was a tomboy growing up so she can definitely relate to the bullying shit pretty well and they are very protective of each other and vow to beat up anyone who talks shit about the other. They also just open each other’s minds a bit, Isabella helps Rebecca feel more comfortable in knowing there’s many different ways to be a woman, Rebecca helps Isabella maybe explore her feelings about her own gender and whether or not she’s really attached to womanhood. Zach finds out in a more casual way, it’s just something he learns cuz it felt weird that he was the only one who didn’t know and well. He’s a good guy, he wouldn’t mind. It’s not something the two of them ever talk about really, aside from bonding over a few shared experiences with having to deal with assholes. And really, being trans just isn’t something Rebecca wants to talk about too much, just because she’s gotten to a point where’s she’s experienced being stealth and she knows how quickly people can turn on you when they know, and she understandably doesn’t wanna deal with that shit. But because her friends are so supportive, she doesn’t exhale and let herself just exist naturally around them and it does help her feel less insecure about who she is

Sexuality wise I think she’s "straight" I think she’s spent most of her life looking at Ashton and just assuming she’d be with a man but once she finally gets to give up on him she has Moments with Isabella or like a certain fondness for Marianne and their shared love of history and other nerd shit and shes just like. Uh Oh 😟

#the letter #rebecca gales #my beloved my bestie my wife etc #ive also just written like in a scenario where she gets with luke shes gonna like get that dick and then shes like oh fuckkkkk #and its pretty frightening cuz luke is a notorious asshole but hes about to find out so she just lets it out #and hes weirdly chill hes just like ‘hnnnghh does it look like i fucking care about that right now daisy’ #they uh. arent exactly a match made in heaven alkskf the way i write it like they are genuinely good for each other in a lot of ways #like i think they both can just help the other see important sides to themselves and improve #but i dont see them being like this happy long term couple i think rebecca can do soooo much better i think theyd get together when shes at #rock bottom and feels like no one will ever love her and she forms a bond with luke and she relates to him in a weird way #and this makes her feel worse like luke is the only one who sees the real her and she wants him because shes afraid hes the only one whod #tolerate her its just a very unhealthy situation and he has enough good in him to keep her on the hook #but enough bad in him to never satisfy what she needs and to make her feel like shit #its like. i dont think its IMPOSSIBLE for luke to be a good partner to her but hed have to do a LOTTT of changing that im just not confident #hed do plus like i mean hes literally a murderer and all of rebeccas friends hate him i dont think shed really be able to see past that #plus like hed be transphobic like maybe he isnt opposed to having sex with a trans woman in the moment but he certainly wouldnt be an ally #its all about whats convenient for him i think at best hed be like ‘youre one of the good ones!’ #i kinda love lukebecca lol not in a ‘theyre cute’ way ew just in a. ‘their interactions are really funny and interesting’ kinda way #i want them to fuck nasty and i want rebecca to almost sink to his level but then rise above and kick his ass #and i want rebecca to be the one who got away for luke like losing her is the biggest wake up call of his life #and then rebecca lives her best life with her awesome friends and they work on communicating properly #and she realizes she doesnt need a man to complete her and then she writes a book and is loved pleaseeee

[fairuzfan]

im trying to ask all different kids of accounts bc i can't get one solid answer - how would u specifically define zionist? do you think the people who are currently israelis (and are not west bank settlers, may they all be tried for their crimes) should be able to live in a decolonized palestine?

I had to take a couple of days mostly because I was trying to find a single concise answer for you in a citation. Before I give you a definition of a Zionist, I must first describe what Zionism and it's implications are. Here is Ismail Zayid's "Zionism, the myth and the reality" (click).

The very first couple of paragraphs of the book, he says:

Zionism, as a modern political creed, grew in close association with three interacting major forces which exercised a profound influence on the character and nature of the Zionist movement, resulting in three basic qualities characterizing this movement, namely: settler colonialism, expansionism and racism.

The first of the three major forces was the growth, in the nineteenth century, of European colonialism and imperialism and the expansion of the colonial settler regimes. The alliance made between Zionism and European colonialism is clearly attested to by both sides, identifying reciprocal benefits in the alliance. Herzl, in his "Der Judenstat," expressed clearly both the racist nature of Zionism as well as its role as a settler colonial outpost: "We should, there, form a portion of the rampart of Europe against Asia, an outpost of civilization as opposed to barbarism. We should, as a neutral state, remain in contact with all Europe, which would have to guarantee our existence."

There's more in the book that I can't type up lol, but in essence a Zionist subscribes to the idea of Zionism itself, and insists on the establishment of a settler colonial entity whether passively or actively.

Zionism is a settler colonialist movement, as stated by the founder of the movement for Zionism, Theodore Herzel (quoted above in the smalltext). It modeled itself after much of the European colonialist strategies, enforcing borders and nationalities on a previously border-lose world. I mention the making of borders as a fundamental part of colonialism because by rejection of those borders as a concept, we start to imagine the world in a post-colonial universe. Sherene Seikaly makes this point in her book "Men of Capital" in the introductory chapter:

But in such a search, it is almost inevitable that nationalism—its “lack,” its “strength,” or its “weakness”—will stand as a metonym for politics. In some renditions, the weakness of normative nationalism—a “political deficiency” and a lack of a national “spirit”—resulted in, as the leading historian of collaboration continues to argue, the catastrophe of 1948. In response, scholars have documented a national project among the Palestinians. This work is invaluable and has shifted the terms of debate as well as our understanding of the social and cultural geography of the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries in Palestine. However, to continue reveling in the marriage between national consciousness and politics reifies colonial epistemologies. Moving beyond nationalism as both the means and ends of politics is long overdue. Certainly, nationalism was one aspect of subjectivity formation, but it was not the only way to make politics. What I seek to destabilize here is not whether Palestinians were sufficiently national, but to ask why that sufficiency and/or its lack continues to be the measuring stick for whether people can remain on the land they resided on for centuries. Must people’s investment in the random and shifting borders that imperial and colonial officials drew determine their status? Are there other ways to think about politics outside, beside, underneath, and alongside this national prism?

I've said this multiple times before on this blog in different ways, but I'll state outright: I reject the notion of nationalism as a way for us to authenticate Palestinians' claim to the land they've lived on for centuries, as Seikaly mentions. Zionism's core goal is the establishment of such borders is aligned with European colonialism's core goals: division of the world so that they may categorize itself within the world's hierarchy.

Now, the core saying in the Free Palestine movement you often hear is "From the River to the Sea." This, basically, is a rejection of the establishment of those borders as a necessity for the Palestinians to be recognized. Zionism relies on border-making for it to be an actual thing. Without borders, Zionism would not exist. Which is why the "Balfour Declaration," that had essentially districted and redistributed Palestine is often referenced by both Zionists and antiZionists. Balfour, a well known racist and antisemite, had advocated for the establishment of a "Jewish State" not because he really cared what happened to either party — but specifically so that he could get the Jewish people of Europe.... out of Europe.

Seikaly mentions this in "Men of Capital":

However, we should qualify its meaning to get at the specific condition of Palestinian invisibility in colonial epistemologies. Zionists of the late nineteenth century did not imagine that there were no people on the land of Palestine, but rather that they were not a people. Theodor Herzl described a set of caricatures that inhabited what he called the land of Israel: the wealthy effendis who could be had for a price and the remaining impoverished peasants who could be smoothly removed without incident. These people were a motley crew without anything defining or unifying them. Zionists from various political leanings did not share Herzl’s confidence that the people who lived in Palestine would not be attached enough to its land to resist their displacement.  However, the Zionist emphasis on the lack of a politically coherent and distinct people in Palestine who deserved to make claims to the land on which they had resided for hundreds of years would continue apace. The caricatures of the effendi and the peasant, as well as the depiction of the Palestinians as insufficiently rooted, continue to have currency. In the meantime, Zionists were hard at work shaping a cohesive settlement community around a new ethno-national understanding of what it meant to be Jewish. They called themselves the Yishuv. Zionism promised Jews who had suffered religious, political, and racial persecution for centuries in Europe that they could finally become European but only by leaving Europe. Anti-Semitism and Zionism had one thing in common: the belief that Jews could never assimilate in Europe. The process of becoming European by realizing a settler colony would be an abundant source of persecution: For the Palestinians it entails ongoing erasure; for the eastern (Mizrahi) Jews who did not fit the Ashkenazi (European) mold, it has meant decades of marginalization; and for the Ashkenazi, it required killing centuries of tradition, language, and culture to fit the template of the new Jew.

So now you know that Zionism is, at it's core the establishment of borders to reinforce itself as a colonialist entity — thereby enforcing a separation between the colonized and the colonizer that can seem material, but is, in fact, immaterial. Zionists are people who ascribe to the ideology that a Settler Colonial "Jewish State" must exist, and that its establishment is necessary for whatever reason, thereby enacting those borders and displacing the indigenous populations. But what does a post-colonialist society look like if we no longer have these regional borders and nationalism as we've come to understand it?

Palestinians argue for the Right to Return to their homes. I have family members that cannot see the places they were born in because they were kicked out and not allowed to return. I think, for these people especially, it's only natural that they be allowed to return.

You ask if people who are currently live in Israel should be able to live in a decolonized Palestine. Short answer: yes. Of course. There is no reason to reject these people who are willing to live in a decolonized Palestine.

Long answer: still yes but I'm going to re contextualize it a little.

We've established that a decolonized Palestine is one in which borders are irrelevant, as is the current version of nationalism, and no need for categorization. In a decolonized Palestine, as long as you are not a perpetrator of a "crime" (I put that in quotations because of the current colonial implications, but I lack a better word for it) that makes you — and not your grandparent/parent — directly responsible for colonization — like as you mention, settlers who violently expelled Palestinians — and willing to participate in a Palestinian society in which there is equality of all peoples regardless of race, ethnicity, economic status, or religion, then it is possible to become Palestinian.

Israelis are all, to a certain extent, culpable in colonization. There are antiZionist Israelis, but nevertheless, it doesn't change the fact that they are settled on land that was acquired violently. Of course, the same can be said for many USAmericans. To a certain extent, I am a settler in Turtle Island despite being a refugee. I willingly participate in a colony, whether I actually agree with it or not.

I think from hereon, to live in Decolonized Palestine as well as a Decolonized Turtle Island, we must make the reparations necessary to the communities who have suffered systematic violence at the hands of the colonial entity to truly live in a post-colonial world. You might be asking how I think that's going to be conducted — I am not sure. But what I do know is that living without borders — or in other words living without colonialist labels and all sorts hierarchies that arise — will require a reframing of the understanding of our world as well as how we interact with each other in it.

#palestine #gaza

[roseykat]

TITLE: Play Night

SUMMARY: Things between Jisung and Hyunjin are heating up, and leading towards their group trip to Jeju, Jisung needs to clear a few things up with Chan; about you and him and the current secret bet in place that he unintentionally started.

TAGS: smut, handjobs, orgasms, kissing, making out, hickies, soft/fluff/slice of life moments, swearing, slight confrontation (nothing toxic), use of alcohol (Hyunjin is slightly drunk but what takes place after is consensual), some Harry Potter spoilers/references (sorry if you haven't watched HP)?

WARNING: minors DNI with this post or my blog. I create NSFW SKZ related content and I know I won’t be able to regulate/monitor every potential interaction with those posts so please do not engage with me, my work, or page whatsoever.

MASTERLIST - PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4

🏷️LIST: @chillichillicrabcrab23 @broken-glowsticks @ihatemen55 @boi-bi-ahaha @galamxy @weareapackofstrays @anglerfishiey @elizalabs3 @princejisung @fr34k4c1dr41n @stayconnecteed @imnotjjini0325 @twinklix @meilix @dawn-iscozy @valibals @oiikaro @im-sinking-in-mud @aalexyuuuhm @baby-yongbok @1dk-anym0r3 @wealwayskeepfighting @flowersun @huening-kawaii @newhope8 @leftkittenface @20minsat180degrees @itsthatbri 🩷

“Oh, now this - what about this one?” 

Hyunjin hears Jisung’s voice from the aisle beside him where all the cold drinks are located. He himself had been scanning vigorously among the shelves for his favourite brand of ramen, only to come up short. They had been to four convenience stores prior and not one had what he was looking for. It landed them a trip further away than they had expected, but neither of them complained about wandering around far from where they were supposed to be.

After he straightens up and peeks his head over the snacks to see what Jisung was talking about, he shakes his head solemnly. 

“No. No, that one's grape flavoured and it tastes like children’s medicine,” he says to him. 

Jisung looks down at the purple can in his possession, “that’s oddly specific - oh, then what about orange-“

“Same thing.”

Jisung huffs and gives up, placing the can back where he found it in a disgruntled fashion, “you’re an easy man to please you know, but the minute it comes to food you’re so picky.” 

Hyunjin strolls around to meet Jisung on the other side after filling his basket with snacks that had caught his eye and wanted to eat during their movie night, “drinks aren’t food.” 

“Then what’s soup? A drink or a food?” He fires back.

“Not this again,” Hyunjin rolls his eyes and closes the fridge for Jisung who follows behind closely. 

They’ve been debating about this for a while now which started off as a very contentious pillow talk topic that now crops up frequently. Of course, they wouldn’t be themselves if they didn’t have opposing opinions. Jisung, who thinks that soup is absolutely a drink, has been pushing that agenda ever since the night he tried to cook French onion soup to impress Hyunjin.

Only, it wasn’t that impressive, and was rather just a slurry of tasteless onion water and zero seasoning. In order to not upset his friend for trying his hardest, Hyunjin did his best to stomach the interesting creation and honestly hoped that he never tried again.

“It’s an important question!” Jisung begins to protest, ready with an army of rebuttals and arguments. 

“Soup is a liquid food. That doesn’t mean to say it’s a drink, because you can eat soup. Plus, some soups have chunks of food in it too.” 

“That’s just vegetable water or meat water.”

“Meat water,” Hyunjin repeats in a disgusted tone. “So you’re also saying that plain water is soup too?”

“Well, if you heat it up-“

“Okay,” Hyunjin interrupts as he dumps all their items onto the counter and takes out his wallet to pay. “Stop talking.”

“Make me,” he mouths and teases quietly so that the cashier couldn’t hear him. “If you stuff my mouth with something big then it might get me to stop talking.” 

Hyunjin rolls his eyes, again. 

Nearly every waking moment that he’s around Jisung, there’s always a guarantee that he’ll make Hyunjin’s eyes roll; whether it’s because of some weird shit that comes out of his mouth, or whether it’s giving him an orgasm. Whatever the reason, Hyunjin pretends to ignore him as he collects his goods, then heads out with his best friend at his side. 

The entire commute back to his apartment, Jisung kept talking. On and on, and on about an assortment of subjects that Hyunjin had no interest in. At least not now. Not when all he wanted to do was go home, not speak, and just laze around with Jisung like he has been for the past few weeks. That thought seems to trigger a very sobering realisation that dawns on him as they ride the train back to his place.

As Hyunjin looks at the side of Jisung’s face who’s been rambling on about his opinion on the best types of pasta, he realises that they’ve been hooking up for the past few weeks. They kiss, make out, do other things, but not once have they had sex. Yet. They haven’t even talked about it, and yet, a part of Hyunjin had to wonder; was there any point in even talking let alone thinking about it if whatever is going on between them, isn’t going to last? 

His eyebrows knit together. He doesn’t want to think about that. Hyunjin doesn’t know whatever feelings Jisung has right now, but the one thing he knows is that he likes the sense of comfort that hanging around him brings. What if he asks and disrupts what they have? What if he asks and ruins Jisung’s thoughts on him?

As those questions infiltrate his psyche, his head lowers and comes to rest on Jisung’s shoulder, eyelids closing softly, “wake me up when we get to our stop please.” 

Jisung’s big brown eyes turn into the size of plates, a little bit taken aback that Hyunjin, a person who isn’t that huge on public displays of affection, is resting on him right now. Not to mention the privileged feeling that inflates Jisung whenever a person rests their head on his shoulder, which is very rare. It’s like some physical way of saying that Hyunjin trusts him, or feels comfortable around him at the very least. 

He scans up and down the cart where no members of the public come into his view. Grateful for their absence, Jisung feels safe by reciprocating the same affections. So he places his hand on Hyunjin’s upper thigh, and he too rests his head against his friends’.

For the next five minutes, Jisung and Hyunjin would ride the train back to his place in peace. Neither of them spoke a word until they reached their stop. The pair of them hop up, Hyunjin stands and stretches his long limbs as he and his friend head inside the apartment complex. 

Once they return to his place, Hyunjin prepares all the snacks for them on his coffee table, while Jisung gets the movie ready that they - he - wanted to watch.

“Harry Potter? Again?” Hyunjin groans, taking the plastic wrap off of the kimbap to share and setting it down on the surface once they’ve both sunken down onto the couch. 

“What do you mean ‘again’?” Jisung shoots him a dirty look. He’s always been pretty serious about his Harry Potter, having watched the movies over a thousand times and read the books back to back. “This is the next part of the series, thank you.” 

Hyunjin sighs and makes himself comfortable. He then heads to his fridge to grab a couple of bottles of soju and some shot glasses. Back at the convenience store, he meant to buy something non alcoholic, had he not been so picky about the flavours Jisung presented to him he wouldn’t be deciding on whether he should have alcohol or not. In saying that, it was nice to have a drink.

He strolls back to the coffee table with their final items and places them all down.

"Oh, yum," Jisung gasps and reaches for the bottle, unscrews the cap and starts pouring the clear liquid into both shot glasses already.

Hyunjin stares at him as he downs the alcohol in one smooth go, "alright then..."

Jisung holds up the other shot glass for Hyunjin, "your turn."

He takes it in hand, careful not to spill it on the rug beneath him - then again, it's seen a lot more messier liquids on it than alcohol.

"Yuck," Hyunjin retches after swallowing half of the contents in the glass.

"Come on, you know you like it," Jisung nudges him. "You know the saying; if you can handle cum, you can handle alcohol."

Hyunjin nearly sprays out the rest of the alcohol from his mouth as a muddle of amusement, concern, and curiosity wakes him up more than the semi-burn of the drink does, "and who said that exactly?"

"Me," he answers. "Hence why I can take both so well."

Like some of the time, Jisung wasn't wrong and summed it up with another shot before he picked up the remote to play the movie. He settles back comfortably while Hyunjin takes another shot of the soju.

He makes it through the first twenty minutes of the film, then reaches the part where Harry Potter suddenly gets selected for the Triwizard Tournament. By that point, Hyunjin was sure the alcohol had fully trickled into his bloodstream when he wasn't able to tell the difference between Mad Eye Moody and Hagrid.

Frames started to blend together and yet, he thought it was still a good idea to continue drinking to see if that would help. However, most good idea turn to bad ones. The alcohol began to play absolutely no part in trying to help him make sense of the plot and made him focus on other things rather than the movie.

It was safe to say that he grew steadily bored when it came to watching it. At the same time, he didn't have the heart in him to express his opinion to the person beside him who was so wrapped up in the universe on screen. Jisung's eyes were completely glued to the digital motions before him whereas Hyunjin's eyes were glued to him.

Boredom strikes him bad when he feels the need to lean over and make his long body comfortable on Jisung. Hyunjin's upper torso stretches over his friend's lap who doesn't pay too much mind to it. Jisung even hangs his arms over Hyunjin's abdomen while he watches the film contently.

It's not the type of physical contact he wants right now.

"Jisungie," he mutters into the couch.

"Hmm?"

"Can we do something else?" Hyunjin pleads rather than asks.

He never gets a response. The lounge continues to be filled with dialogue - something along the lines of Ron Weasly now having a go at Harry for being inducted into the tournament and not telling him. Hyunjin's had enough of it and for whatever reason he feels like, he slides off of Jisung's lap. Half of his body slumps onto the ground while the other half remains somewhat on the couch.

"What are you doing?" he snorts, grabbing onto Hyunjin's hands and trying to hoist him back up.

He awkwardly anchors his legs around Jisung's body in an effort to help pull himself up as well but ends up knocking his head on the edge of the coffee table. With a delayed reaction, Hyunjin winces and then laughs as he tries to rub his own head even while Jisung is still trying to save him from falling off completely.

"Here just - just stop moving so I can help," he leans back and uses all his arm strength to move what is practically dead weight to him.

Hyunjin puts in zero effort to help and instead becomes a giggling mess the second he's actually able to get back into Jisung's lap. When he does, his long limp limbs wrap themselves around the man beneath him. He hides his face in the crook of his neck, the sudden whiff of Jisung's skin almost makes him dizzy, making his mood do a complete one eighty degree turn.

It creates immense difficulty in trying to swallow the urge to plant a kiss over the soft area, earning a very quiet yet distinct hum from Jisung. Hyunjin repeats the same action, longer this time and in different spots that his tongue can swipe over. The grip Hyunjin barely knew was there on his hips, twitched in place. As if Jisung's nails are trying to dig into Hyunjin's flesh had he not worn clothes.

"Hey," Jisung alerts him. “Can’t watch the movie if all you’re trying to do is get on my dick- ah…”

Hyunjin’s mouth shuts his right up from one sharp suck into his skin. His tongue flattens over the fresh red plum mark. The sight of it alone makes Hyunjin want to decorate them over every inch of Jisung’s body, similar to the style of how he would paint a canvas - which he does. Over as much skin as Jisung lets him when he moves his head to allow Hyunjin to cover more skin.

“Y-You’ll…you’ll get me hard,” he warns, now unable to concentrate on the film.

Hyunjin pulls away from his neck, giving him a rest from the myriad of hickies he’ll have to worry about later, and looks him down in the eye, “that’s sort of the point.”

Their mouths draw together like magnets, like they’ve been doing for weeks. Every day they find their lips on the others or some body party of theirs. Jisung gets to relish and dawn in the softness of Hyunjin’s lips, letting him slip past further to explore his mouth. His needs not only start to show through in his pants, but in his breathing and frantic pace of trying to feel Jisung that he almost can’t keep up with him.

So he decides that he needs to contain him a bit, bring him down a few notches to reminds him that he’s not in charge - at least for now.

With that, Jisung wraps his hand right around Hyunjin’s waist and manoeuvres him onto his back. The abrupt shift in control makes him act up almost instantly. Hyunjin is grabbing at Jisung’s shirt trying pull his body back down to his, but his muscles are weak and tired from drinking that it makes it too easy for Jisung to straddle his hips and pin his hands to the side of his head.

“Look what you’ve done to yourself,” he tells Hyunjin right in his ear while he rolls his ass down over the dick that's hardening underneath him. "Gonna be fucking begging when I'm through with you."

At that point, the pair had gone beyond the fact of not completing a full movie night. With the way that Jisung continues to pin Hyunjin back and exchange the manifold of hickies across the planes of his throat and neck. If anyone walked into the apartment, they would’ve thought vampires truly existed with the way Jisung’s mouth was latched onto his best friend’s skin.

“T-The movie,” Hyunjin stammers hopelessly with his words. “Jisung…the movie…”

Jisung lets out a sinister chuckle as he pushes himself back up to take off his shirt and tosses it somewhere around the lounge, "fuck the movie. You started this. This is what you wanted, isn't it? To rile me up and now you've gone all shy on me."

Hyunjin doesn't listen. His first instinct is to reach out and grab Jisung’s waist, to caress his hand freely for a few moments before gliding down and grasping the flesh over his hips. The slight sting in it makes him buck his hips forward and over Hyunjin’s clothed cock, making him groan lowly. He could cum easily like this - so easily and has done.

Every position they get into to practically dry hump each other, he always imagines that this is what it would be like if Jisung was riding his throbbing cock. To cum inside him and watch his face contorts the way that it does whenever Hyunjin makes him orgasm.

That thought sparks a wire in his brain, causing him to suddenly jerk his hips up and into Jisung. He smirks down at him, soaking up the state of the man beneath him. The hickies, red and wet kissable lips, dozy eyes that slowly blink up at him…

“You’re so fucking gorgeous,” Jisung mutters in exasperation like he's never seen Hyunjin's body before. “Just wanna f-”

Blaring on the coffee table next to all of the opened snacks was Jisung’s phone, he quickly bends over to the side to reach for it in urgency while still trying to straddle. Hyunjin twists his body carefully with Jisung still on top, picking the remote off the floor that had fallen after being pinned back. He pauses the movie for a moment to let Jisung answer his call. 

A small weight sinks in his stomach as he speaks in shock, “it’s Chan."

"M-Maybe you should answer it," Hyunjin tries his best to talk over the exponential rate of how much he is turned on right now.

“Hello?” He answers.

“Jisung! Do you not answer your texts? I sent about six just before!”

He pulls his phone away from his ear and checks his notifications. His friend was right, Jisung had in fact missed his messages. But not on purpose of course. If he hadn't been so busy provoking Hyunjin whose hands started sliding up Jisung’s thighs, dangerously close to his tented crotch, he would've seen the texts.

Hyunjin's fingertips delicately trace over where Jisung's cock begins to harden. His eyebrows furrow immediately as Chan continues speaking on the other end of the line about how he’s still surprised that Jisung didn’t answer him right away. 

“You’re always on your phone, I thought you might’ve been quick to respond,” says Chan.

“Oh, yeah not this time,” he responds truthfully, to some degree. “I’ve been watching Harry Potter all evening and-“

The words ready to leave Jisung's mouth die before they make it out as Hyunjin mischievously, and very clearly, starts to palm Jisung’s hard length over his pants. It didn’t take him that long to start leaking from his tip, creating a very visible dark patch over his shorts.

“…and-“

Hyunjin then reaches into the slot of the material, past his boxers and frees his cock. For a few moments, he takes away his hand just to admire how Jisung looks right now. The fact that he tried to finish what Hyunjin started, only to have the tables turned on him again. He flushes with embarrassment at the fact that without Hyunjin’s grasp around his length, his dick was able to stand tall on its own; so needy and desperate for touch. 

“And what?” Chan’s voice suddenly startles him out of his situation.

“And I just lost track of time, that’s all,” Jisung continues as calmly as he can.

“No worries. I haven’t watched Harry Potter in years. I think the last might’ve been Prisoner of Azkaban? No, Goblet of Fire? It was the one where…”

Chan’s voice drifts out of Jisung’s mind despite the fact that he’s right in his ear on the other line. His face contorts at the sudden pleasure he receives as Hyunjin takes hold of his neglected cock once more. His eyes dart sharply down to his own length and the large hand which begins to slowly tug. 

“…he gets chosen for the tournament when he really didn’t put his name into the cup…”

Jisung brings a shaky hand to his mouth, covering it immediately so as to mask and muffle something that could end up as a future regret. Hyunjin knows all too well what sort of sounds can come out of that mouth of his too, for it has reverberated around the walls of his apartment, stifled into his pillows, caught in the back of his throat which usually serves as a path for Hyunjin’s cum these days.

He’s heard it all before. 

For Jisung to keep a lid on all of those possibilities is a smart move, especially if they want to uphold the secrecy of their situation.  

“…and I’m pretty sure it’s the one where Cedric dies.” 

“Y-Yeah,” he responds shakily. “That’s the one we - I’m watching at the moment.”

“Maybe I should rewatch the first two,” Chan suggests to himself. “It’s the only series I can actually watch and understand without it being too complicated. I tried watching Lord of the Rings before but it’s too…”

Once more, Chan’s voice becomes a distant sound as Jisung tries to stop himself from bucking his hips into Hyunjin’s hand. But it’s not possible. He can’t just ignore the fact that he’s been horny since Hyunjin made him all hot and bothered, and now he’s built up to maximum capacity where his body craves release.  

“So what time suits you?” Chan asks randomly.

“Time for what?” Jisung responds back in confusion, his mind blending together like mush when Hyunjin has gotten into a steady pace.” 

“To hang out tomorrow!” 

“Oh, right! Ah - um, lunchtime? Twelve…” He suggests, his hips still rutting.

“Alright sounds good. I’ll see you there okay?” Chan asks.

“I’m cumming - I mean, I-I’ll come! I’ll be coming - going there,” Jisung stammers terribly with his words. “F-Fuck sorry, just…I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

Chan laughs on the other end of the line, “see you then.” 

Jisung has never hung up faster, the phone toppling out of his possession as he rocks his hips into Hyunjin’s grasp. It also gave him the ability to rut his ass against Hyunjin’s hard length below him. Then within a split second, the lid that Jisung was trying so hard to contain over what his body needed to do, came off.

“Fuck, gonna cum, m’cumming!” He cries out. 

Hyunjin grins, and does not dare let up on his hand twisting and gliding on the length currently in his power, “I heard you the first time. How humiliating would that have been for you if Chan realised you were getting a handjob. Too bad he can't hear you whining so pathetically-“

Air hitches in Jisung’s throat, and for a few seconds too long Hyunjin looks into his eyes and sees tears welling up. A terrible, cold sinking feeling expands in his stomach, making him realise that he just said something awful to Jisung. 

“W-Wait, I’m sorry, I didn’t-

It was too late. Loud moans rupture violently through Jisung’s chest - ones that Hyunjin knows his neighbours are familiar with by now because by no means is Han Jisung quiet. He will let Hyunjin know how he’s making his body feel now explodes from immense pressure. 

His rutting against Hyunjin’s cock becomes staggered as a result of trying to chase his orgasm. Jisung clutches onto Hyunjin’s shirt, the fabric balling up tightly along with his fist. He can’t stop, he doesn’t want to stop, until eventually that buildup releases erratically in flows of white that spill over his tip and dribble down Hyunjin’s hand. Jisung had never cum that hard from a handjob before. 

He finishes gasping for air when he starts coming down, slowly rocking his ass over Hyunjin’s crotch to ease himself off the euphoria. Beneath him is a different story. 

Hyunjin was mortified for making him cry, so shocked that he was frozen and couldn’t take his hand off of Jisung’s dick. But that didn’t matter. Jisung had the intention of finishing what he started, to feel so good that all his problems melted away. 

Hyunjin sits up immediately, so close to Jisung’s face as he needs to check in with his friend, “are you okay? I’m so, so sorry, I don’t even know why I said that. It just...it just came out of my mouth.” 

He wipes his eyes after a couple of tears fell down his face in the process of dry riding Hyunjin. Part of what just happened makes him laugh breathily and nods, “yeah. I’m okay.”

“Jisung, I’m really, really sorry,” he quickly says and means it, trying to look him in the eye.

“No, oh my god don’t be sorry,” he assures him. “I’m fine, seriously.”   

“Then…then why are you crying?” Hyunjin asks the million dollar question, still acting out of horror. 

He gives a lazy shrug, “I dunno how to explain it properly, but I like that kind of talk. It just…yeah. I’m not too sure. I suppose I teared up because I haven't actually cum that hard before.” 

“I…didn’t know you were into…that,” Hyunjin doesn’t know how to reply to that type of statement, now that he just found out his friend likes being humiliated. Out of all things Jisung would be into, it had to be that.

“There’s a lot of things you don’t know,” he replies, leaning over to the coffee table just a bit to pick up the box of tissues to clean Hyunjin’s hand. 

“W-What did Chan want?” He asks even though he doesn't want to stray away from the topic to make sure his friend is still okay.

Jisung slides off of his body and in between his legs rather awkwardly. From this stance, it’s easy to see the large tent in Hyunjin’s pants that he was grinding on as he made himself comfortable. He smooths the palm of his hand over Hyunjin's hard length and slowly back down. In doing so forces a couple of strained sighs out of his mouth. 

“Wants to hang out tomorrow,” he answers, reaching into Hyunjin’s shorts to feel his hard cock. The same cock that keeps him coming back, that makes him feel heated and irrational. 

In Jisung’s opinion, anyone would be lucky to have someone like his friend in front of him. Even though they haven’t had sex, he knows how Hyunjin fucks, having seen the way he made you cum weeks ago - it only makes Jisung wonder what it would be like to actually cum around Hyunjin’s cock. 

It’s what he wants, needs in fact whenever they’re together.

Hyunjin bites his lip and throws his head down onto the couch, “y-you going to?” 

“Course I am,” Jisung replies, thumbing over the dark pink tip that leaks clear glossy precum. “Need to ask him about Y/N and what the situation is there.” 

A dreadful ball of weight pummels Hyunjin from behind when he hears your name in the same sentence as ‘Chan’. Not to mention, as Jisung said, your ‘situation’ with him currently which Hyunjin doesn’t want to process. He likes being oblivious to the fact that Chan is sleeping with you. That he gets to fill you up, that he just gets to see you. Whether Jisung was telling the truth or not about you and him sleeping together, he acts as if you’re not to save himself from the reality of it. 

“D-Do you really need to?” Hyunjin asks hesitantly, fumbling terribly with his words as Jisung lowers his head down and licks one long stripe from the base of Hyunjin’s cock, right to his dark pink tip.

“Yes,” he confirms, but doesn’t truly tell him why for reasons far too similar to his friend here. 

After giving his answer, Jisung sinks his mouth onto Hyunjin’s cock, just half of it to tease him. Bobbing his head a couple of times causes Hyunjin’s to grab the side of the couch while the other flies to land on top of Jisung’s head. 

“What if…if he doesn’t say anything?” He questions breathlessly. 

Jisung pops back up, and leans over Hyunjin’s abdomen to ask him in his face, his question bears some perspective to the situation, “do you want me to blow you, or not?”

Hyunjin uses the hand that’s not ready to brace his body by the side of the couch and tucks a long lock of Jisung’s dark brown hair behind his ear, “yes.”  

“Then please shut your mouth and let me,” he demands. 

It wasn’t hard for Hyunjin’s eyelids to shut and squeeze together. Receiving a blowjob from Jisung always feels like he’s had his soul sucked out of him; he doesn’t know where he learned it, but isn’t complaining either because it put Hyunjin to sleep ten minutes after they cleaned themselves up. By the time he and Jisung crawled into bed together, he had forgotten having the conversation with Jisung about you and Chan. Yet, only to be reminded of it the following day when Jisung woke up at half past eleven in the morning. 

He was scheduled to meet Chan at one of his favourite lunch spots nearby and was in no mood to meet him. Being the morning person he is not, Jisung found himself struggling immensely to get out of bed and Hyunjin’s long arms that were encasing him. 

Although he didn’t feel like leaving, he thought it would be best to just go as it had been a while since he saw Chan last. More importantly, he needed to confront him about what’s going on. Mainly for his own piece of mind.

He remembers something in his stomach sinking when he read that text on your phone. Despite the intense shock he felt when he discovered that you and Chan were hooking up, he wasn’t able to diverge from his own feelings. Something which he struggles to get across and might depending on the outcome of the lunch with one of the people in question. 

Jisung steps out of the shower with a towel around his waist as he goes to sit on the end of the bed to open some of the drawers to his dresser. He pulls out a cream coloured jersey, some underwear, and a pair of sweatpants.

The fact that he needs to borrow so many articles of clothing is just another potent reminder that he should be packing and taking an overnight bag whenever he goes to hang out with Hyunjin. Nine times out of ten, Jisung will always say he’s only coming over for the afternoon then ends up staying for more than one day at a time.   

The sheets ruffle beneath Hyunjin’s body as he stirs himself awake. He sits up, bed head on full view and eyes barely open, “what are you doing?” 

“Borrowing some clothes,” Jisung answers trying to ignore how hot his morning voice sounds. “I’ll bring you back some food to compensate.” 

“You said that last time,” he grumbles sleepily. “I’m also down four of my favourite jerseys because of you.”

Jisung throws on the material over his top half before crawling his way on the mattress to Hyunjin. He kisses him unexpectedly yet expectedly on the lips.

“Just go back to sleep,” he whispers. “I’ll see you after.”

With his confirmation, Hyunjin’s top half flops back against the mattress before Jisung pulls the white duvet back over his body, tucking him in. He had no trouble falling back asleep when Jisung lightly brushes some strands of his hair out of his face. However, without the distraction of him touching Hyunjin, Jisung couldn’t help but feel nervous.

He already knew that you and Chan were sleeping together. That text long affirmed that. Yet for how long and what for remained to be a sickening twist of fearful questions lugging Jisung’s stomach down. He didn’t really want to hear the answers from Chan if he can even stomach that conversation. He didn’t want to hear ‘yes we’ve been fucking’ or the ‘yeah, it’s true’ answers. 

In saying that, Jisung has a trait of bottomless curiosity. That itch to find out for his own personal gain was going to make or break him. At that, he dons on the matching coloured sweats, grabs his phone and wallet, and then heads out of Hyunjin’s apartment. 

After a train ride away, it doesn’t take long for Jisung to arrive, and apparently not for Chan either, who was already seated, waiting for his friend. An assortment of dishes had already been brought to the table, making Jisung realise how hungry he was since breakfast was no longer. 

“How the fuck did you get here so fast, you live on the other side of the city,” Jisung exclaims to him from behind as he approaches.

“Hey. I couldn’t wait any longer because I was hungry,” Chan complains in a whiny tone. “Came here earlier to order, so I couldn’t wait.”

“Good, that makes things easier because I didn’t know what I was going to get anyway,” he replies and sits down in the booth opposite Chan. He hasn't changed much. Then again, it hasn't been too long since he's seen him last. “Been busy?”

He shakes his head, “you have no idea.” 

“Thought you might’ve been,” Jisung responds, eyeing him intently to see if he gives off even the subtlest signs of a lie. “Haven’t seen you in almost a month, what’ve you been up to?” 

Chan shrugs, “work and tutoring some of these students at the University.” 

Jisung gives a firm nod, believing him and understanding how tiresome that must be to help teach students. It’s not until he pauses and realises that Uni semesters haven’t started yet. Even summer semester students are on break. He could’ve called him out on his bullshit now to see what answers he would get, but for the sake of wanting to find out other information, he keeps that to himself. 

“Shit, sounds tough,” Jisung sympathises with him, or at least tries to if he was lying.

“How ‘bout you?” 

“Same old. Working - you’re still coming to Jeju right?” He asks on a different subject.

“Yeah, of course. I took leave for it,” Chan answers as a puzzled look then befalls on his face. For a moment, his eyes narrow at Jisung, or rather his chest, trying to decipher what’s wrong with the picture he’s currently seeing. 

“What?” He asks, trying to follow his gaze.  

“You and Hyunjin have the same jersey,” Chan points out, realising what the flaw was. 

“Oh, I know, that loser keeps copying everything I wear,” Jisung quickly plays it cool because unbeknownst to Chan, it is in fact Hyunjin’s jersey. 

“Why are you wearing a scarf by the way?” Jisung tries to direct the attention away from himself

He hadn’t noticed the black item wrapped warmly around Chan’s neck until he began to panic whilst digging up something else to switch topics. The heat Jisung feels like he’s already being dragged under was starting to make him feel uneasy.

“The same reason you’re wearing a jersey on a thirty degree day,” Chan fires back just as fast but more nonchalantly to just about make Jisung sweat. 

It forces him to wonder what on earth this reason is that his friend is talking about, and why he’s being so cryptic. 

His face twists into confusion, mildly surprised when he realises Chan is trying to clock him for something that he doesn’t even know about or what for. Then again, it’s Chan. When is he not this observant? 

“And what reason is that?” He responds with an accusatory tone. 

Chan doesn’t answer, not directly. He only lifts his chin up slightly and points to his own throat, confusing the hell out of Jisung as to what he means. When it’s clear that the message can’t cross his mind, Chan rolls his eyes, and reaches into his pockets to take out his phone. He pulls up the selfie camera mode and hands it to Jisung to look at. 

Apart from seeing his own reflection, he can see something else; a few splotches of dark, reddish marks littered all over his throat. At first he thought he had a rash, but wasn’t too sure what he was looking at. However, upon closer inspection, he moves the camera a bit closer to his throat and takes a photo on Chan’s phone to see it better. 

After his quick analysis, Jisung knew instantly what they were. More importantly, who it came from. Hickies, and from none other than the only person he’s been messing around with, Hyunjin. Jisung didn’t even bother covering them up.

He hastily hands Chan’s phone back after deleting the photo, “so what?”

“Suppose you forgot you had them, judging by your reaction,” Chan guessed correctly, completely stumping Jisung who’s nearly lifting his own body off his seat as he tries to come up with an argument. 

“Well…I suppose you didn’t know that I know you and Y/N are fucking which explains the scarf too but here we are!” He blurts out before he even has time to think about stopping the words from coming out of his mouth.

Chan’s hand stalls over the pot of stew while Jisung’s lips are pursed together. All the colour in his face has drained, almost making him feel lightheaded that he just said that out loud. In saying that, this is exactly the topic he wanted to discuss - you and Chan. He just wasn’t expecting the conversation to meander in such a way that nearly exposes himself and threw him way off the track of ever raising the subject. 

“And what makes you think that?” Chan resumes ladling some of the hot stew into his bowl of rice. 

Jisung knows that you can’t unring a bell so makes the split decision and decides to come clean, “I was using Y/N’s phone for something, and that’s where I saw a text message from you, hinting that you guys were sleeping together.”

“Ah,” Chan recalls immediately at the sudden confession. “From that little truth or dare game you, her and Hyunjin played?” 

Jisung’s jaw unhinges, staring across the table towards his friend who seems to be a search engine for the topic of ‘everything Jisung has done lately.’ Nearly every minute that passes, Chan slaps him with a new fact that his friend wasn’t expecting him to know. 

“You - but, how did- did Hyunjin-“

Chan’s already shaking his head before Jisung can muster a proper sentence, “Hyunjin never said a word. In fact he hasn’t been replying to my texts so I haven’t heard from him.”

“Then…then Y/N?” 

“Well it couldn’t have been you or anyone else that was there.” 

Jisung isn’t angry. He’s just shocked that he keeps getting one upped. Chan finding out that Jisung had a threesome with two of his best friends - one of them who he’s been fucking for some time now too - was far more of a juicy topic than just you and Chan seeing each other casually, which Jisung still doesn’t know the full details of. 

“Said she had never cum like that in her entire life,” Chan adds, burying Jisung another meter or so deeper into this hole of new scandalous information. 

His body freezes over. Suddenly, it’s not thirty degrees and everything feels cold. Jisung doesn’t ever really hear Chan talk about his sex life. Even when he was in a relationship with his ex, each of his friends tried to dissect as many details about it as they could. But they were never successful. That was a result of keeping things as private and low key as possible. 

Nevertheless, Chan’s crude and very straightforward words had knocked Jisung right off his feet. The fact that you had told him what must’ve been very clear details of that night at Hyunjin’s was a sign that it still lingered on your brain. Part of his ego secretly swells with joy because of it.

“Then I felt like I needed to outdo you guys after that,” he adds.

“What do you mean?” Jisung questions with a tone of an impending doom that looms over him. 

Chan smiles sweetly, memories stirring of that night in particular he had with you. It had to be one of the best times by far to him, “you know what I mean.”

Jisung’s skin stings with scorching hot jealousy; he knows exactly what Chan means. The fact of the matter is that he can’t believe he’s saying these types of things to him. Then again, there’s only one reason why Jisung would be so affected by it and he didn’t want to display that in front of Chan without figuring out what it means. But whatever it is that’s tugging at the organ beating hard and fast in his chest, makes him furious. 

“Alright then,” he replies unfazed as he possibly could, swallowing the tough pill before realising there was one other thing he wanted to mention. “Suppose you guys are still seeing each other.”

Chan looks Jisung right in his eyes as he slowly retracts the spoon out of his mouth, “maybe.” 

“So yes then.”

“What does it mean to you?” He tests him, almost sadistically.

“It means nothing to me,” Jisung answers rather bitterly and nastily, his entire aura switching up before he finds a new tether to lure the spotlight away from himself. “Just the fact that I told the others about you two, and they made a bet.”

Chan looks up, “a bet?”

“None of them believed me, so they made a bet to see whether you guys were or not even though I said so.” 

If he didn’t have food in his mouth, Chan would’ve laughed, instead a disgruntled chuckle came out along with a couple of specs of his rice, “course they wouldn’t! Why would they believe that the two polar opposite people would be screwing behind everyone’s back?”

“You're not mad?” Jisung checks to be sure.

He shakes his head, “course not, dunno if Y/N won’t be though. She said she likes keeping things pretty private-“

“Clearly not if she told you she had a threesome,” Jisung cuts him off at that point. 

“Well, there’s some exceptions to that,” Chan shrugs, finishing off his bowl of rice. “I don’t know if this means anything to you but, she wouldn’t shut up about sleeping with you and Hyunjin. She told me every single detail like for instance, when you and Hyunjin made out-“

The tongs fall out of Jisung’s tight grip and clatter onto the table. He brings his hands up to his eyes, covering his entire face to hide whatever embarrassing feelings that start to simmer on the surface. However, Chan didn’t seem to care and continued on with his points to prove. 

“-how she liked it when you went down on her, how you watched Hyunjin fuck her - I told you what I meant about the details, right? Anyway,” he says. “She was raving about it. And yet, when she and I started seeing each other casually, she said that she didn’t want me to tell anyone else. That I needed to take what we have to the grave.”

Jisung removes his hands away from his face and looks down at his own food, unsure if he can stomach any more of it with the way the conversation has been handled. The more he talks and thinks about you, the more he feels like he’s being filled up with this bad gloomy feeling. He has to wonder if Chan is just being plain cruel to him by dumping all of his thoughts and information onto him.

He has to wonder, would it have been better to stay oblivious rather than being teased with snippets of what you’ve been saying to Chan these past few weeks. Hearing about how much you enjoyed yourself with him and Hyunjin yet haven’t directly spoken to them since that night. 

“What are you saying?” Jisung questions, tired with the bullshit that’s starting to spike in their discussion. 

“The fact that she wants to keep our…activities a secret from people and rather them not find out about us, yet is the first to speak highly of what you, her and Hyunjin did, means something more than you think.” 

More than he thinks? Jisung can’t understand what that could’ve possibly meant. He sits there, bewildered and stumped. Unsure of what else to say.

“Right,” he responds. 

Chan watches him warily, trying to gauge his behaviour as he decides to change the topic, “so, what’s on the table for this bet?” 

Jisung quickly pries himself away from his messy mind and answers, “losers have to buy a days’ worth of food when we go to Jeju.”

Chan nods, impressed as he reaches for more meat on the grill and loads it into his bowl, “even less of a reason to be mad. Looks like I’ll be eating for free either way.” 

"Yeah, looks like it."

The span of Jisung's vocabulary seemed to fail him. That and the fact that he didn't really want to talk anymore. Yes, it was good to see one of his best friends, but the circumstances that developed throughout their lengthy conversation made him wish he stayed in bed with Hyunjin just the extra bit longer so he would have to cancel lunch.

He managed to finish off small bowls of food to not make himself appear out of character. One whiff of anything remotely aberrant on Jisung's behalf, and Chan would hold him hostage in the restaurant until he tells him what's wrong. Despite that, Chan noticed something off anyway.

He saw the way Jisung's face fell when he confirmed that he was sleeping with you. He saw how his shoulders drooped and then picked up when he mentioned that you told him about the night at Hyunjin's. He saw how defensive and sceptical Jisung became whenever he would just simply mention you.

He saw that Jisung was hiding something.

When both friends had finished enjoying their meals, they were greeted with a downpour of rain that would have them seeking refuge under the veranda of the restaurant once they were outside. Just before they bid farewell to each other, Chan quickly turns to Jisung and calls out.

“It’s okay if you like her,” he says out of nowhere. “Y/N and I are not what you might think we are and we made it clear to each other that we never will be. There’s nothing between her and I, just so you know.”

Jisung stares at him, not showing any emotions on his face even though deep down, his brain and insides are whirring with emotions he can't even fathom, “I don’t like her like that.” 

Chan laughs at him, unfazed with the sudden tension that seems to be slicing through them, “keep telling yourself that. See you next week.” 

Through the deluge of rain and shadows from the dark, dense clouds above, Chan runs off in the opposite direction to where he needs to head home. Jisung stands there defeated and shocked that Chan is onto his tail that he likes you. He knew that heading into meeting up with him meant that the truth was going to come out one way or the other. Suppose it was just not on his terms.

It stirs many thoughts as he throws his hood up and ducks out into the rain to head to the train station and back to the safety of Hyunjin.

When he returns, Jisung keys in the passcode to unlock the door to the apartment, and is smothered with a waft of a sweet decadent scent. Standing in the kitchen, Hyunjin was at the stove flipping over what looked to be pancakes which suddenly reminded Jisung-

“Fuck, oh my god. The food, I forgot to even order it,” Jisung groans when he closes the door behind him.

Hyunjin turns the element dial on low and spins around to lean on the counter, away from the stove tops, "it's okay. I felt like something sweet anyway."

Jisung sighs. It felt right to be back with Hyunjin once more even though he had only been out for a couple of hours. In saying that, his conversation with Chan was good but draining. It’s not that he doesn’t like him for telling him the truth, there’s absolutely no doubt about that. Chan is and will always be his friend.

There is no emotional connection between you and him and that’s all that matters to Jisung. However, it’s just the truth in itself that he has an issue with - you hooking up with Chan every now and then that is. It makes him feel uneasy and almost makes him feel like he’s doing something immoral by just sitting back and watching it happen.

The reality stings where he doesn’t like it so pushes himself from the edge of the bench and walks into Hyunjin’s body to retreat from his thoughts. Slightly taken aback but not oblivious to the strange display of emotions Jisung is presenting, Hyunjin sets the spatula down beside him and hugs his friend back. 

“You okay?” He questions, concern dripping all over his face.

Jisung nods his head on his chest, “yeah. Just socialising, now I’m tired.”

It wasn’t a lie, but not the truth either. Regardless, Hyunjin takes his word for it without thinking twice about it. He had completely forgotten why Jisung had gone to see Chan for in the first place.

“Wanna nap together?” 

“Didn’t you just wake up?” Jisung pulls one arm away from Hyunjin’s body while the other still rests there so that he can rub his eyes. 

"Well," Hyunjin looks away from him. "That's beside the point. Just...missed you is all too.”

"Cute," he grumbles, ignoring what the weight of those words truly means. "I should pack for next week though because knowing me, I'll leave everything until the last minute."

Hyunjin lets out a long sigh. He hasn't even thought about putting a suitcase together yet either, "true. I should probably start packing as well."

"Okay then let’s both get ready," Jisung looks up at him before leaning in to plant a soft kiss on Hyunjin's lips, slowly pulling away and says quietly; "see you in Jeju."

Hyunjin responds, look at him, “see you in Jeju.”

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#stray kids smut #skz smut #hyunjin x jisung #rosiewritesskz #han jisung smut #hyunjin smut

[perfectsunlight]

(𝟒𝟔) - ✰ 𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐔𝐒 ✰

𝗐𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌: none

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬: 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮

polar opposites, but still complimentary. that was the best way to describe your friendship with minjeong.

you were more like the summer. vibrant, outgoing, comforting. shades of yellow and tones of orange. the sunlight sparkling on the ocean in the middle of july, and the golden sunsets that descended in the evening. you were the light in everyone’s life, including minjeong’s at one point.

she was more like the winter. cool, icy, and mysterious. shy and reserved, soft spoken and silent. still like the deep sea waters. the unmistakable morning chill in the middle of january, the midnight rain, and the hues of raven shaded shadows. minjeong was the light in your darkness for at least 12 years.

but like the sun and the moon, you two could only be so close for so long. even in nature, distance is inevitable between opposing forces.

-

“it's not nice to ignore people.”

minjeong’s head leaned back as she hung from the monkeybars above her. the sounds of children playing and laughing filled the outskirts of her conversation with you. well, it was less of a conversation, and more like trying to get a wall to answer you. 

september air and afternoon skies observed the interaction between the two of you, the faint breeze kissing your cheeks as you stood below the playground equipment. minjeong had been ignoring you for almost the entire school day.

why you may ask? because you didn’t get picked for partners in the obstacle course.

the winter-like girl’s eyes remained on your figure as she hung upside down, her two braids falling down in the same direction as her. 

minjeong was about to answer, but she accidentally slid too far and ended up falling right on top of you. 

the two of you hit the ground with force, the playground sand cushioning the fall below the both of you. well, you mostly cushioned her, anyway.

“owww! minjeong!” you groaned and pouted. “that hurt!”

minjeong instantly felt bad. she didn’t mean to fall on top of you like that, it was just an accident. however, she couldn’t help but feel bad about it.

“say you’re sorry.” you said as you tried to move minjeong’s body off of you. the other girl shifted and got off of you before looking over her shoulder to face you. 

“im sorry.” 

your eyes met hers, pout still on your lips. minjeong had only apologized for falling on you, not for ignoring you. 

“for falling on me? or for ignoring me?” you asked directly.

minjeong’s tongue poked her inner cheek. she was still upset that you two weren’t partners earlier, but you were still asking her to apologize. “for falling on you.” she answered timidly.

your jaw clenched as you shook your head quickly. your best friend wasn’t off the hook this easily.

“that’s not how it works, you have to be sorry for both.” you tried to explain while brushing the dirt off of her skirt. “we’re best friends, you have to be sorry.”

a few beats of silence passed, where minjeong thought about your words carefully. in her eyes, she didn’t do anything wrong, but then she realized neither did you. it wasn’t your fault that the teacher had separated you two.

“okay, im sorry for both.”

you grinned and interlocked elbows with her before dragging her to the swingset. “come on minjeongie, you can push me first.”

the other girl’s brows furrowed in confusion at your comment. “why?”

your playful eyes met her stoic ones as you smiled at her, not faltering at all. “because you ignored me today, so you have to make up for it.”

minjeong shook her head, clearly unamused. push you on the swings? that was no fun for her. she wanted you to push her. 

despite this, she spent the rest of recess pushing you on the swingset with a small smile on her face. your laughter was contagious, after all.

and of course it didn’t take long for minjeong to stop being fully upset, especially when you offered to give her one of your juice boxes after school.

-

“y/n, i don't know. it seems like a scam, i don’t even know the company name.” minjeong tried to reason, her head in her palm as she stared at you pacing around her room. she had explained to you how she got scouted at one of the recent dance festivals she attended, and how a lady asked her if she wanted to audition to try and become a celebrity. 

she didn’t think much of it, as a matter of fact, she thought it was just a con artist. but you on the other hand? thought it was something worth looking into.

“min, i don’t know why, but i have a good feeling about this.” you looked over at her with a firm, honest gaze. the audition was in two days, and she would have to take a trip to seoul for it if she decided to go. her parents had told her she needed to decide by tonight, which was why you came over to try and convince her to do it.

minjeong blew her brown hair out of her face as she huffed. she was torn. this was a potentially dangerous situation. for all she knew, they could kidnap her and send her off to some foreign country. 

“i’ll go with you,” you blurted out, making the other girl’s eyebrows raise. “i’ll go with you, so that way you won’t be by yourself.”

any other day of the week, she loathed your impulsive and eager personality. she was still recovering from the other day, when you had decided to tie your shoelaces together to make “the world’s biggest shoelace knot” in the middle of your study hall together.

minejong was asleep on her desk and didn’t realize what you had done until the bell woke her up, and you two had to stay 20 minutes after school to undo the shoelaces.

however, today she seemed somewhat grateful for your impulsive and encouraging bad decisions. was this a bad decision? maybe, but it was something you seemed to really wanted her to do, and she couldn’t say no to you forever.

the dancer’s gaze softened. she was more appreciative that you offered to give up your weekend to go on this sketchy audition trip with her and her parents. especially, since this weekend was the class field trip to the aquarium. minjeong knew how much you loved the sea animals, and ever since the trip was announced, you would not shut up about it.

you’d send her hundreds of videos and pictures of different sea creatures and plants, to the point where minjeong changed your contact name to “national geographic.”

yet, here you were, giving up the one thing you were looking forward to all semester for, just for her.

“but what about the aquarium trip?” she asked softly. she felt bad knowing you would offer to give up that fun experience, but you never saw minejong as a burden. she was your best friend, and you would do anything for her.

“the aquarium animals are already celebrities,” you joked and threw one of minjeong’s empty backpacks at her figure. “my best friend is not.”

she caught it before it hit her face, thankfully, but she couldn’t help but smile at your response. it was in that moment that minjeong knew she would go to the audition with you at her side.

“now come on, you need to pack.”   

“so do you.”    

“not if i just steal your clothes.”    “ew.”

-

“you have no reason to be nervous, min.”

minjeong’s leg bounced out of anxious habit. she knew it was just like every other dance performance she had done, except for some reason, even she knew that this felt a lot more intimidating and professional than before.

just the rooms they had escorted you two into to wait were very nice. whatever organization this was, it was definitely not some low balling scam. 

“you and i both know this is a lot more than what we were expecting.” she said flatly, running a hand through her hair. the brunette was up next, and she was absolutely losing her mind.

“but you’re kim minjeong, a lot more than they are expecting as well.” you replied sternly. you hated seeing your best friend doubt herself. minjeong was hands down the best dancer in your school, and you knew that if anyone was going to make it somewhere, it was her.

the brunette was startled when you put a hand on her shoulder. her ever stoic eyes met yours, and you only smiled, and your face was like the sun. your presence was helpful in itself, countering each and every one of her doubts as they filled her mind.

“i know i don’t say it a lot,” she said slowly, putting her hand on top of yours. “but thank you.”

you tilted your head to the side and smiled. “thank me? for what?” a small chuckle escaped your lips as you spoke. “for stealing your juice so you are forced to drink water?”

the ice-like girl rolled her eyes and scoffed. “i am trying to have a sentimental moment with you, for once.” she stated flatly, but a small smirk graced her lips.

“but thank you for being here.”

you didn’t get the chance to reply because a lady walked in the room and called for minjeong. her heart was racing, but for just one moment, all the raging thoughts seemed to still as you gave her a thumbs up. 

at the time, you didn’t know that minejong performed the best she ever had in her life in that small dance room. and it was all thanks to you.

but it was all thanks to minjeong’s audition, that you were scouted that same day. SM thought you were gorgeous, fit to be an idol on the stage. they actually got your information from minjeong herself after she finished her audition.

she never told you, though. but you eventually found out anyway, it wasn’t hard to put the clues together. minjeong was always looking out for you, even if she never admitted it.

-

on the first day of being trainees, you two probably had one of the worst days of your lives.

the moment you arrived at the company building, you had gotten yourselves locked in the fire escape because you went down the wrong stairwell. being stuck in there with all of your bags was not exactly the start to the “celebrity dream” that you two had in mind.

once you got out, courtesy of one of the staff members who walked past, you then found out you two weren’t rooming together. minjeong wanted to riot when she found that out, but you had told her that since your dorms were down the hall from each other, that it would be easy to still see each other all the time.

later in the day, you somehow managed to fall down an entire flight of stairs when bringing up one of minjeong’s bags, and the other girl almost killed you when a group of the senior trainees walked by and saw it all happen. 

minjeong also found out that she left her pillow at home, meaning for the first fourteen days, she was going to have to use one of her duffle bags instead. she definitely was going to need to see a chiropractor once she had her first day off.

to finally top it all off, you two found out you only had one class together, and that was vocal lessons. however, you had still remained optimistic, and insisted that you two would still see each other outside of lessons. you also mentioned that minjeong would be able to focus better without you being in there to distract her.

you were wrong, of course. you didn’t know it at the time, but minjeong truly appreciated your antics. they helped remind her that it was okay to still have fun.

it was actually in minjeong’s dance lessons that she met jimin. minjeong remembered the first time she saw the raven haired girl walk into the room. minjeong was no expert in feelings by any means, but she couldn’t deny the way her heart got excited whenever she saw the taller girl.

at first she thought it was just because jimin was so nice to everyone, and looked like a literal disney princess. but as the weeks went by, minjeong noticed the lingering feelings in her heart.

-

“y/n?”

minjeong whispered in the dark. you two managed to climb on top of the roof without getting caught. she took this opportunity to finally talk to you about something that had been bothering her for a while.

“yes?” you answered softly, looking over at her with a raised eyebrow. minjeong was always either laughing with you, or silently judging you. to see her so serious about something was rare, even with you.

a few beats of silence passed by as she tried to gather her thoughts. there was no easy way to explain this. the ambience of the city below filled the otherwise empty silence between the two of you, until finally minjeong spoke.

“how do you know if you like someone?”

your eyebrows shot up instantly. in all your years of knowing minjeong, the closest thing she ever got to liking someone was this guy in 5th grade who gave her his entire sandwich in return for a hug.

you thought about teasing minjeong, but you knew right now she was being vulnerable with you, and you wanted to respect that. 

“hm,” you paused to think for a few moments. “well, i think when you like someone, you obviously enjoy having them around.” you explained.

your best friend scoffed, rolling her eyes playfully. “other than that, y/n/n. i’ve figured that out already.”

“when i say that, i mean it though.” you reasoned. “you like having them around more than anyone else, and when you’re with them, you feel like nothing else really matters.”

a comfortable silence existed between the two of you once more, until winter spoke up once more.

“i think i like girls, y/n.”

your head whipped in her direction, jaw dropped. “really?” you whispered in disbelief. never in your life had you heard minjeong be this direct about her feelings. “minjeong,” you snickered and shoved her shoulder. “i could have told you that, years ago.”

she narrowed her eyes at you before looking back up at the midnight sky. it wasn’t a perfectly clear night, but the stars and moon still peaked through the clouds enough to serve as something worth losing sleep over to look at.

“i think i like girls, too.”

it was minjeong’s turn to give herself whiplash when she heard your comment. her eyebrows were raised, and she stared at you with her jaw clenched. “you do?” she whispered softly.

you nodded your head slowly, a small chuckle escaping your lips. “i mean, im pretty sure i do.” you paused before turning your head away from her, a faint blush forming at your cheeks. 

“it would be pretty awkward if i had kissed a girl and said i didn’t like it.” 

minjeong’s jaw dropped at this revelation. “you did what?!” she squeaked, eyes nearly popping out of their sockets. never in her life had she even seen you kiss anyone other than your stuffed dinosaur. 

“when was this??” she asked, moving her head closer to yours, trying to examine your facial features for any signs of you lying. except, given how shy you were getting, minjeong immediately knew you were not lying about this.

“uh,” you rubbed the back of your neck with a small smile. “the day before yesterday.”

her arms folded over her chest as she glared at you. “and you didn’t tell me? im hurt. i thought we were friends.” she said quickly.

you rolled your eyes and shoved her shoulder once more. “don’t be so dramatic,” you saw a smile return to her lips. 

“was she cute at least?” minjeong asked in a whisper, smirking in your face as she teased.

as she did this, you couldn’t help but let out a laugh. she definitely knew which questions to ask. 

“see,” you pointed a finger in her face. “this is why you’re my best friend.”

minejong couldn’t help but laugh with you, which made you start laughing as well. the two of you spent the rest of that night laughing and talking about your sexualities, and how funny it was that everything the two of you did in life somehow always involved each other.

as opposite as you two may seemed, your decade long friendship proved your unity. 

complementary opposites, contrasting in every single way possible, but somehow cohesively fitting together. where minjeong was rough, you were smooth. where you were upside down, she was inside out. no matter what, it seemed like you two would always have each other.

because no matter how different the sun and the moon may be, they still worked together every day. if the day was too hot, the night would be cool. if the moon was too cold, the sun would provide warmth.

you always provided that for the people around you, even without realizing it. minjeong always described it that way, anyway.

you shone like the sun, like the star you were. every room you entered, immediately brightened. your outgoing demeanor and energy was the backbone for every trainee group you were in. 

it was because of your warmth, and your light, that landed you a spot in the lineup with the girls. even the company could see how far your light reached, and they would be foolish to not capitalize on that.

because even in nature, things could only grow and bloom in the sun’s warmth. it’s much harder for things to grow in the absence of such light.

maybe that’s why jimin loved you so much. karina was like a sunflower, always facing towards the sun; it was just unfortunate that the company’s sunflower just so happened to be the only girl minjeong had ever liked.

it was even more unfortunate, that the visual sunflower herself was never facing the moon, but rather, always at her sun: you.

┊┊┊┊⋆ ✧　 　 · 　 ✧　✵ ┊┊┊☆ *　　 * ⋆ ┊┊★ * ┊┊* . *　✦ ┊☆ ° ✧　 　 · ★*

you and jimin met as trainees before she debuted, and you two never felt more in love. however, once she breaks up with you before her debut, you completely leave SM entertainment under the notion of needing a fresh start. you eventually debuted a few years later in le sserafim, where you met huh yunjin and have slowly started developing feelings for the idol. much to karina's dismay, she hates to see you have moved on, but deep in your own heart, you still can't help but feel as if maybe she has forgotten about you.

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @captivq , @wonyoluvr , @yunalvrrr , @spritin , @babycubchae , @vnschldd , @sserafimez , @chaersly , @rosiehrs , @baldd , @bwljules , @jenaissantesworld , @jennasluma , @dream-chasers-things , @lcv3lies , @elyds , @archerheejin , @vnschldd , @skisk1 , @cfvgbhndun-new-blog , @silantryoo , @phamminji , @bzeus28 , @writingficsblog , @strangegirlcode , @uzumakioden , @noiacha , @sserabey , @archerheejin , @pindoris , @yourstrulytrissmerigold , @jisooftme , @yacii , @ddrummie , @justalittledissociation

[ 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 ]

#smau #kpop #kpop smau #aespa #lesserafim #yunjin x reader #aespa x reader #lesserafim x reader #huh yunjin #karina x reader #yu jimin #yu jimin x reader #about you #perfectsunlight

[gwaaaaar]

breaking my silence...

whoever told me the second half of death note was trash... YOURE WRONG YOURE WRONG YOURE WRONGGGGGG 🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣 MELLO AND NEAR ARE WORTHY SUCCESSORS TO L YOURE JUST A STAN!!!!

near... sweet jesus baby they didnt deserve you !!! I was so pleasantly surprised to see how distinct he was despite people calling him "white haired L". LIKE hes a lot more cautious than L but isn't above being a sarcastic little shit and actively causing problems... i read a fan translation and he uses a lot of cuss words to refer to certain people he dislikes. I dont know if thats in the official translation as well but i do like the visual of this 7 yo saying "asshole" and "dickhead". I know hes 17-18 and this is average teenage behavior but gah hes so cute and moe and make little "vrooooom" noises when playing with his toys... 🥺 cant help but stan. Hes in his zone unbothered...

AND THE FACT HE CHALLENGES LIGHT IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE SO BLATANTLY... no mind games no time for light to make his next move just fuck it we ball. Also very fond of the scene where he drops hundred dollar bills off the SPK building. He's unpredictable just like Mello is but in a different way and its fascinating i love this guy. Also enjoy the fact that his flavor of justice is that he doesnt really have one hes just doing his job. The verbal beatdown he does at the end about how lights just a crazy serial killer... GET HIS ASS NEAR !!! Hes not pretentious and its just... its just good you know? L wasn't very pretentious but he does call himself justice sometimes and stuff along the like(?) Near drops all pretense... cant help but stan

Also really fond that he actually likes mello its just mello doesnt like him... I know canon never explicitly states their relationship with each other, like if its a brotherly relationship or not (altho isnt there some cain and abel parallels??? Not sure). But i really do see a siblinglike relationship between the two. Canon doesnt really put any angst on their relationship bc near doesnt care lolol, but the two do remind me of certain siblings that have a strained relationship because of the pressure put on one of them (or on both. Again fuck wammys house all my homies hate wammys AND WATARI!!! ME WHEN I GET YOU!!!) I really would love to see the two interact... and maybe just be happy by each other/pl. Because god it really terrible to see how much mello hates near and its not even nears fault :,). AND FUCK THE CHOCOLATE BAR HE EATS AT THE END TO HONOR MELLO???? STOPPPP IM GONNA CRY... near the man that you are... they dont deserve you baby...

And smello... mello mello mello... I've heard more positive things about him compared to near bc hes more "interesting" and i can see why people take that angle BUT. God they still undersell him so much??? I feel like hes one of the few characters to have a goal besides catching Kira (or not getting caught) because of his inferiority complex. I do not mean to undersell any of the other characters when i say this because theyre all very complex! They all have their driving goals and the like. Its just that i argue that Mello's is more persistent and that it is not centered around the conflict but rather himself. Even if he caught Kira perhaps he would still never be happy with himself because Near is always "going to be better" because of the shit he went through in wammys. Theres a whole discussion to be had abt the ethics of wammys house... but ill save that for another post wwww.

Mello is also someone that isnt pretentious about his idea of justice bc hes a fucking criminal. (BTW i love the two opposing sides of the successors... one that tries falling within the law but still doesnt give a shit and the other that doesnt give any shits at all and eventually helps the law.) And its so... I LOVE YOU RUTHLESS CHARACTERS I LOVE YOU CHARACTERS THAT STOP AT NOTHING TO GET WHAT THEY WANT.

And the thing is ... Mello does have his own sense of justice because its not as if he sacrifices innocent bystanders to get what he wants he just does what is necessary. LIKE ofc its fucked up that he kidnapped sayu (and traumatized her...), takada (and the stripping... but at least she got a blanket:,) honestly tho id blame that on the misogyny of the authors) and the director of the police im not about to be a mello apologist (yes i am/j). But a. He probably knew no one was going to get hurt in the first place because hes just that damn confident. b. His remorse for matt and soichiros deaths show that he doesnt intend on sacrificing anyone and when things go astray it saddens him a little. And c. THE FACT HE PROBABLY KNEW HE WAS GONNA DIE AND STILL SACRIFICED HIMSELF TO HELP NEAR... near would "win" but mello prioritized putting kira behind bars and while i cant guess his motive, from my end it does seem like in extension he prioritized doing the right thing, which would be to sacrifice his life and pride to help near get the final piece to catch mikami... wow what a man im so deathly ill

After typing all this, i must say... is L really as complex as years of DN fans have said?? I think im about to get crucified for this opinion, but legitimately is he??? I think he is complex most certainly just... maybe not as much as others have said... i might just be missing details about his past + lore from external media so maybe thats why i have this opinion. But i feel like the successors *are* toe to toe with him despite their split screen time... idk tho :3 this is just my thoughts meow

#death note #death note mello #death note near #l lawliet #Mello #Near #mihael keehl #nate river #Feel free to beat me with hammers in the comments meow

[valberryelixier]

Mad for you

Dottore thought that no one could outrank him in his insanity and experiments but you proved him wrong.

( random fic bcs i want to feel smart 💜💜 and dottore supremacy always )

AND SRY IF ITS OOC IDK HOW TO WRITE DOTTORE- HIS PERSONALITY IS JUST 😍 AND LIKE HIS CONFIDENCE- SMT ILL NEVER HAVE 😃😃

.

.

How would he even begin? You were certainly a unique specimen in his eyes. He watched you in your akademiya days, creating life out of inanimate objects, even harnessing the power of the abyss unaffected.

What were you? A god?

He despised you. He despised the way everyone liked you, or maybe it was respect or even fear but the power you held over the akademiya, pulling strings in the background and eradicating anyone who opposed you with ease and secrecy, you were unbeatable.

How could someone have everything? Charm, intellect and even beauty. Her personality was of course just a facade to hide her true nature, he thought.

He knew you werent the persoj you created ik public when he saw you perfectly executed and picked apart living beings so casually. Even humming along to a tune he'll never forget.

Dottore thought you were the epitome of perfection, so he didn't understand your goal which was to create the perfect human, one that could surpass gods in all manners. Why would you need to when you exist?

When he was expelled from the akademiya, he hated how you werent just because more people liked you. It hurt his ego, how someone else was "better" than him.

Years past and your impression had left a permanent mark on him, he wished to see you again. He was longing for an interaction with you no matter how brief or frivolous. You were never even close in the akademiya besides being lab partners.

So what was this feeling?

A weakness, he thought

He could not afford to feel these things but he knew even in the deepest trench of his cold unfeeling heart he could never harm you. You were far too important.

.

"Lord Dottore, a guest from afar is here to see you"

You found him before he found you

"Hm? Bring her in" he knew who it was, but your intentions remained a mystery.

You entered his office, full of test tubes and papers. Some jars filled with "specimens" and a bright blue vial. It was neater than you expected.

"To what do i owe the pleasure y/n" his voice sounding hoarse yet amused

" i'll keep it brief, i want a collaboration, us as equal partners. Im sure you'd be interested in this and besides you're the most suitable person for this experiment."

He looked at you, just stared at you for a while like he was trying to read through you. But what you didn't know was that he would oblige, no matter what experiment it was. It wasnt the research he was interested in, it was you.

But he tried to hide his true emotions so he laughed, his usual maniacal laugh, one that was proven to be deathly to others but not you. "And what exactly makes you think i'd be interested?"

" because we could surpass gods, with my finding. Create a world of our own full of humans that will obey our every command "

He lifted his eyebrows, he truly was interested now, not only you but your finrings too. He understood the meaning laced in your words. He understood that he had to betray the tsaritsa but that was an easy choice, it was his plan anyways.

But his ego wouldnt ever let him give in that easily. He stepped around his desk and leaned towards you with his condescending smile.

"Hm? From what i understand, id be losing a lot from this collaboration, so if you want my help, beg for it"

You weren't one to beg, you had too much pride to go down on your knees and beg him just to satisfy his ego. So you went to your last resort.

You lunged towards him in hoped of immobilizing him to have him in your mercy instead of the opposite. But he was far quicker and stronger than you, using his sword to clash yours in such power that it pushed you to the nearest wall.

" such a pity, you used to be far more powerful i suppose sentiments really are a weakness "

Whatever you felt certainly wasn't right, how could you feel so aroused when your life was on the line. Maybe it was the fact that you knew he would do no harm to you but that's never a certainty. Dottore is a really unpredictable man.

So unpredictable that you didnt realize he leaned in, hie lips touching yours, biting your lips and his hands pressed both sides of your cheeks, to let his tounge in. But why did you kiss him back?

It lasted longer than you would like to admit and as he released you from his grip he smirked, that insolent smirk. He kicked your legs apart and you lost your balance, falling to the ground, On your knees as you stared up at him.

"My my~ what a sight to behold. Such a powerful mind bowing down to me. I suppose i'll consider your offer afterall"

#dottore #genshin impact fanfics #genshin smut #dottore smut #dottore fluff #dottore x reader #dottore x reader smut #genshin fluff #fatui x reader

[dufrau]

i keep coming back to this topic but the whole "let her have female friends" thing re wlw ships just annoys me so much it's always kind of in my brain a little.

First of all i don't think it's in good faith a lot of the time even if the people saying it don't realize that. i think what it means is "im just not interested in this character/these characters outside of their relationships to the male character I am actually interested in."

But the other thing is, "let her have female friendships" has a root in just wanting women to have something to do other than being a love interest to a man. i don't want to get into bechdel test discourse but like literally we were begging to let women talk to each other on screen at all a lot of the time. it was never "don't let them kiss!" it was "please let them do anything at all i implore you."

Now it's being interpreted as "romantic relationships are inherently less meaningful than platonic relationships, dont cheapen this friendship by making it romantic" (except this only really seems to apply to wiw relationships, for which i refer back to these arguments not being made in good faith.)

Or like, "She needs somebody who isn't trying to sleep with her!" Which tbh is nonsense. The reasons characters (and people) should have friends outside of whatever primary romantic relationship they may or may not have is not because you need people who don't want to sleep with you, it's because it's just healthier to interact regularly with and to care about/be cared about by more than one person. It's fine if your friends want to sleep with you or if you want to sleep with your friends and in fact it is fine if you DO sleep with your friends and it is fine if you enter romantic relationships with your friends and it's also fine if none of that happens at all, and none of it alters the value of those friendships besides how the people involved actually treat each other.

call me when "he needs more male friendships!" is anything. (but i will be opposed to that too because gay is good)

#this is as always mostly about nancy wheeler #but it applies broadly! #but for real though nobody is concerned about steve harrington having male friends his own age #they have this man fucking every similarly aged guy he has ever made eye contact with #and good for him #BUT NANCY NEEDS FRIENDS #i see you

[infohazardouz]

where everything’s at

hey hello everyone :0)

i know its not that serious and perhaps im a bit silly for feeling the urge to explain but i wanted to let you guys know where things are at in terms of the demon au, what i’m posting, art in general etc etc

first! updates for the demon au will probably be slower, as well as art in general! why? because my laptop EXPLODED.... no, not really .

my rig right now for everything -from college to art to personal use- is literally just one office grade laptop that was defective from the get-go (thanks HP) with a mean overheating issue that’s killing it internally. however i also spilled sugary, milky coffee on it once and it survived so i am very thankful for it lol :0)

point is... today the back cover totally popped right off and won’t go back in because the casing is deformed- my temporary solution ever since it stopped closing properly months ago was... tape, but it’s working! however, i also got an error that basically said my battery was degrading really quickly, and i know that i can’t afford to replace it if it does die on me. i’ve been looking into investing in building my own PC for a while, but i know that it’s certainly expensive and time-consuming so it’s gonna take me a long time before i can set up a real rig.

how does this have anything to do with me? you might be asking. and you are right for asking because... it doesn’t, kind of! but i just wanted to let folks know that updates will be slower because i’m trying not to overwork my laptop as opposed to like, art block or a lack of interest! i would love to finish the demon au storyline and make a ton more content for WH and otherwise and plan to for the forseeable future :0)

also i want to let you folks know that something interactive is in the works for the demon au...

#meta #info #update #welcome home demon au #welcome home excon au #shiva #welcome home oc #long post #my art

[theneighborhoodwatch]

002 - Popstar, Franklydear and whatever we call what Wally and Home have going on

(send me a character/ship to hear my thoughts)

i've gotten Multiple asks about all of these pairings, so let's not waste anymore time. under the cut bc unsurprisingly this got Long.

POPSTAR

when or if I started shipping it: i think it first Really started with this pokemon AU post clown made talking about what he thought they'd be up to in that universe... the language he uses in that post really caught my eye, and it just kinda snowballed from there, especially as canon started picking up and we saw more of them interacting 1-on-1.

my thoughts: i feel like we don't really get a lot of yuri in this specific Type of horror (i.e. cute thing is secretly fucked up), at least not in the west. i think that's a crying shame, but i believe popstar has the potential to truly open the floodgates. unless i'm forgetting herstory - idk i feel like there's definitely some rpgmaker game out there that'll prove me wrong but you know what i mean. more mascot horror yuri NOW.

What makes me happy about them: i think it's super cute that they both kinda geek out whenever one of them asks the other for help, like they're being asked by this big huge celebrity and not, like. their literal next door neighbor lol. sally in particular - as bullheaded as she is, her insistence on trying to put poppy in the spotlight more often isn't because she thinks poppy is untalented and needs to train up, but because she genuinely thinks poppy is Just That Stunning And Talented And Beautiful, and doesn't want that to go to waste. nepotism has never looked so romantic <3

What makes me sad about them: sally seems to enlist poppy's help Way more than poppy does sally's, and while sally clearly Wants to take poppy seriously, she has a hard time not immediately brushing off other's concerns in general because She's An Auteur, Dammit, She Knows What She's Talking About. it does make me very worried for poppy! i think things between them are gonna get Way worse before they get better lol. not dysfunctional enough to be toxic yuri but certainly painful enough that it will Get Me when it happens.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: THAT NOBODY WRITES IT

Things I look for in fanfic: MORE OF IT

My kinks: again, serious in-depth answers go on the nsfw blog only. i will say i think they're definitely those people who keep trying to set up roleplay scenes only to get distracted by trying to figure out the technical aspects and/or getting so in-character that they forgot what the end goal was.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: poppy partridge if you read this im free on Thursday night and would like to hang out. Please respond to this and then hang out with me on Thursday night when I’m free.

My happily ever after for them: after a series of trials and tribulations, complete with at least one breakup arc, the two of them reconcile in an appropriately dramatic apology-that-looks-suspiciously-like-a-marriage-proposal scene. i don't really know what happens after that. i was going to say they go on to become lesbian statler and waldorf, but i think they would both be too invested in trying to give actual constructive criticism, so maybe they just mst3k it instead.

FRANKLYDEAR

when or if I started shipping it: i dunno! i don't remember ever being opposed to the ship, but there was definitely a period of time where my approach to it was more "hmmm i wonder what this ship being canon means for welcome home's Themes" and less "ough fuck they make me so sick," as opposed to the current day where it's a pretty even mix of both.

my thoughts: god what haven't i said about them. i think i peaked with this post. i don't think anything i say can summarize the appeal of their relationship to me more succinctly than that.

What makes me happy about them: when it comes to eddie, frank is like. frank is so fucking funny bc he seems to be under the impression that he's being subtle. yeah get mad whenever anyone who isn't you makes fun of that beautiful big breasted mailman to the point where you'll even defend his honor in the merch advertisements and also when you Do make fun of him be sure to be gentler than you would be with almost anyone else but also don't let up entirely bc then you won't get to see him be adorably flustered and also enforce a surname-only basis with him so people don't think you're getting too chummy but ALSO drop the surname-only basis whenever he seems genuinely upset to let him know that you're worried about him and want to help. and also do this in front of everyone at a holiday party. nobody will suspect a thing. and the best part is that IT WORKS ON EDDIE. EDDIE ALSO THINKS FRANK IS COOL AND TRUSTWORTHY AND RELIABLE ENOUGH THAT HE AUDIBLY/VISIBLY RELAXES WHENEVER FRANK ENTERS A SCENE.

What makes me sad about them: EDDIE'S ASS IS NOT PREPARED FOR THE DAY THAT IT'LL BE FRANK IN THE PROVERBIAL LOVESEAT OF TORMENT. arguably neither is frank but like given how eddie saw frank at the end of the homewarming special? it's going to FUCK him up.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: when i click on the eddie dear/frank frankly tag. and i filter out all mentions of wally darling. i should not still be seeing wally darling. do u understand. get that little yellow cunt OUT of here!!!!!!!

Things I look for in fanfic: pre-established relationship hurt/comfort or angst. i realize i may be alone in my interpretation of franklydear as not being Together together yet, but i am stubborn.

My kinks: i wonder how many times i can say "ask for my nsfw blog" without it getting old.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: GOOD QUESTION. i don't think either of them would particularly struggle to find a partner if they didn't end up with each other, but i also can't see either of them being attracted to any of their other neighbors.

My happily ever after for them: these two images specifically. in general they should get to be huge cornballs for at least a little while should they successfully endure The Horrors.

HOME AND WALLY. HOMEWALLY? WALLYHOME? WHO KNOWS.

when or if I started shipping it: an old friend of mine made a joke about it once in 2022, waaaay before there was any like, huge fandom presence outside of a few scant discord servers. i thought about it too hard and now i'm here.

my thoughts: romantically or not, THEY ARE SOOOOO DOOMED, DUDE. THEY ARE SO FUCKING DOOMED. and i don't mean, like, "yeah they have some stuff that makes their current relationship less than ideal but i'm sure they can work things out ^-^" no i mean DOOMED. there's only one way this relationship can end and it is in BLOOD and TEARS. and i will be there with a tissue box and a big ol' bucket of popcorn. i've written about them so much on this blog already but by god i will write more.

What makes me happy about them: the obsessive aspect to their relationship, like. it feels very mutual. it would be so easy to make home coldly imposing 24/7 and/or just have them be taking advantage of wally's love for them, but. no. they seem just as attached to their inhabitant as he is to them, for better or worse. i get a lot more mileage out of a relationship where both parties Love each other and desperately want to be all-encompassing for one another in All aspects of relationships, but live in a reality where that simply cannot be, and their relationship is wildly unhealthy as a result. home is a monument to a past that either never existed or cannot be revived without Severe consequences. but wally doesn't care about that. all wally cares about is that he is his home. see also: this post.

What makes me sad about them: [copypastes the entire above paragraph]

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: most wally/home fic is either pure crackfic or fic in which home gets hit hard with the ron the death eater treatment. like jesus, he's already pretty morally ambiguous in canon by just Standing There, you don't need to make him an actual rapist to establish that his and wally's relationship isn't exactly ideal.

Things I look for in fanfic: i don't look for it because i've pretty much given up on it being there at all, but i hope more folks write some actual character study-adjacent stuff about them some day!

My kinks: i do have actual answers to this but no way am i stating them here. again, i have a separate blog for that.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: LITERALLY ANYONE ELSE.

My happily ever after for them: you know that's not gonna happen.

#mobileleprechaun #ask #welcome home #popstar #franklydear #whatever wally and home have going on #....is there a ship tag for that actually #no there is not

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/740136068340482048/the-funniest-dni-i-ever-encountered-in-all-my-12?source=share

As a House Martell stan, it's been interesting to watch the evolution of that particular corner of the ASOIAF fandom over the years. For a while, because they were less present on the show (and their actual focus on the show was pretty bungled), they were mostly the favorites of superfans who'd read the books and therefore were deeply devoted to the whole ASOIAF universe, and given how much that means memorizing various types of Targaryen incest over the years, were almost never antis. A lot of people were also drawn to that they were the ~sexy, liberated house, as well as there being a fair number of POC who identified with some of the few non-white people in those books who were actually fully-realized characters (in the books, not so much in the show). IME it was usually people who were also shipping a lot of the other popular "problematic" ships in the fandom like Jaime/Cersei and Sansa/Petyr Baelish.

Then, at some point - particularly after the show ended and the fandom shrunk a lot - it got infected with a bunch of people writing long essays about how Daenerys and the entire Targaryen family were inherently "white supremacist" (previously, it had been more common for POC and other fans who focused on anti-racism to stan Daenerys, and point out that what the final season did with her was some white bullshit that tried to conflate killing oppressors like slavers with killing poor downtrodden people) and there ended up being a fandom fight between those people who saw the Targaryens as the more racist house or the Starks, but they all stanned Martells but in a very shallow sort of way just because they were the POC house. It's also worth nothing that Dorne has equal primogeniture - women can inherit, and in the books it's Doran's eldest daughter, Arianne, who is his heir, even though he has two younger sons - and it also is more accepting of LGBTQ+ people and bastards and general "sex outside of marriage" than most of the rest of Westeros, so it attracts a lot of people who are into them for that reason. I mean, I like them for that reason among others, but of course that's going to be a magnet to people who want to prove that they're extra special progressive for stanning them over like, the Lannisters.

Also, probably worth noting, the people in the second group were generally younger. Book-centric fans generally tend to be older IME in ASOIAF fandom. I feel like whenever a fandom is younger, there's more likely to be more anti behavior.

Anyway it was very weird to get back into ASOIAF when I read Fire and Blood and then when House of the Dragon started airing, and feeling like "my corner" of the fandom had become completely unrecognizable in my absence.

Also, I suspect it's probably drawing in some people who just really like Pedro Pascal. (It was better when it was drawing in the Alexander Siddig stans from DS9 fandom, snerk. Although even that fandom has had an obnoxious influx of younger purity-policing virtue-signalling types discovering it these days, writing stupid discourse about how Garak/Garashir is problematic and people should instead ship characters who don't like each other that much and don't interact much one-on-one because the combinations of them are more progressive or something.... sigh! Anyway, probably not helped by the fact that Game of Thrones completely wasted him, even though his character was one of the best ones in the books and a big one that drew me into loving House Martell. He would've been great as book!Doran, but alas....)

I'm also going to say that as others have pointed out, I'll always be mystified by the fact that ASOIAF even HAS antis. If you're that opposed to incest, age-disparate relationships, violence, etc. anything controversial, how can you stan the actual canon of that show? Or the books, which arguably have even more rape and incest and ephebephilia going on. It just seems like you'd have to have a very adversarial relationship with canon to a point that I just don't understand why you don't pick another fandom. Of course, it's probably really just that antis are hypocrites.

--

Hypocrites, yes. But also drawn to material that they're not comfortable being drawn to. The younger they are, the more the cognitive dissonance makes them act out.

I don't condone it, but I do understand it.

[desceros]

Hello! Hope you're having a good day. Is it OK if I ask you a question?

How is it you manage to maintain really great flow with your readers POV in your long fic? For example, you maintain really good consistency with their thoughts and how the story is meant to be perceived so nothing seems sudden or out of the blue.

Do you reread your previous chapters a lot before posting the next or is it your beta reader who tracks this for you? Thank you for your time!

hello hello!! yes of course; i love getting questions like this. as for beta readers, i’ve never been one to use them. i support the practice fully. i just don’t have the patience to wait for feedback, hahaha!

mostly, this effect is because of my writing style, mechanically speaking. my writing is like knitting. as opposed to quilt-style writers, who can take little pieces of a story and sew them together at the end, i am a knitting-style writer, and i like to start at the bottom and gradually climb to the top. i write from beginning to end, and i like things to flow from a to b to c to d with as few gaps as i can get away with while still keeping things interesting.

i used to have an internal rule that i didnt like time skips because that’s time in the character’s life that could be used to develop them. while i’ve matured out of that, i still prefer to keep skips short, and i refer back to things that happened during those skips to keep that development. (an example in symphony is how i say that leo sends you funny memes all the time. i don’t show it, i tell it; but sometimes, telling is an economical alternative and the showing isn’t necessary for Every Little Detail.)

i can count on one hand the number of times i’ve written a scene out of order. writing out of order is a really good recommendation if you’re feeling stuck on a scene (just skip it and go to the next one you don’t feel stuck on) but i’ve… never been one to take that advice, haha. my writing builds and builds on itself over the course of the story, so if i miss a step, it’s more annoying later to sew it in. i just plow through the current scene like a stubborn mule cutting through clay.

a side effect of this is that my writing has very good flow, as you say. it takes a lot longer to write this way, and i have to trudge through less interesting scenes before i get to what i Really wanna write, which can be demotivating if im not excited enough for the project as a whole, buuuut… for a reader, i personally think it’s a superior experience. and there are times when i Never get stuck on a scene, and things just flow out of my hands like water. what a magical feeling that is when it happens! that’s how you can get absurd feats like me writing euclidean line in three days.

for my longer works, eg symphony, when i sit down to write, i skim the previous chapter to recall events. then i deep-read the last scene of that chapter (eg talking with leo at the end of chap. 22) and then i’ll start writing the next chapter. this makes sure that there’s continuity from the end of the previous chapter to the beginning of the next; and then because of the aforementioned way i write knitting-style, the new chapter is cohesive internally with itself. as a result, there is one long, continuous stream of flow that could be read from beginning to end without being jarring to do so.

besides all this, it really helps to have a strong mental picture of everything. what i mean is… i know who viola-chan is. how she talks. how she thinks. how she reacts to things. i can keep her very consistent from one scene to the next because i understand her. i know the plot of the fic very well. i know where i am and where i’m going in the story. i know the world i’ve built. i can weave all of these things together organically (almost like yarn, one could say, hoho…). a lot of power the author has comes from the establishment of strong characters living in a strong world and interacting with it via a strong plot. when those three things harmonize consistently over time, it creates a solid experience for the reader that Oh. This Is A Real Person In A Real Place Doing Real Things. Yeah. and that right there is the thing i think that all authors strive to improve every day.

anyway! wow! long answer. but thank you for such a thoughtful question!!

#ask tag #writing tag

[corviiids]

Have u been asked about shuake for the ship thing yet. Those guys please

@possum-lydia asked: ship ask: akeshu/shuake (whichever you prefer) @bogballad asked: am i too late for the ship ask game has no one requested akeshu?!

ship it / don't ship it

1. What made you ship it?

i love a good mutual obsession. i just fuckin love when two characters are like i don't know if i like you or hate you but i DO know you occupy my brain 32/7 because ithink about you even when im sleeping </3 . i LOOOOOVE when two characters are like we are so diametrically opposed in every direction which means in fact that you are the only person who understands me on this planet and you know me better than anyone else and unfortunately we are connected in a way neither of us can do anything about. and also, gun

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

im really compelled by both ren and akc being characters who for one reason or another are both generally, like, people whose true selves are not known by the people around them? who then meet each other and are like, oh. you're me. in a way i barely recognise. like ren is quiet and trying to keep his head down and has been repeatedly punished for standing up for his values, he interacts with people based on what he thinks they need to hear / what will make them think of hi mfavourably / etc like some of that is meta that comes from him being the player character but theres also a lot in his visible personality that really points to him being a very carefully masked person. akc is akc is a person and has never been able to show his true self to anyone ever and has in fact forgotten how to do it because he's been playing a part for so long. so these two like, meeting and SEEING each other almost instantly despite being so, so different in so many ways, and then just being so drawn to each other for reasons beyond just what they can do for each other when the majority of their other relationships have had at least a small element of that transactional nature is just. ughrughgd. gshjlg sjglk dgedghdgd. what if you were more to me than what i could do for you for the first time in my life

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

we don't have time for all that. just view every post ive made for the last eight years

#asks #and no not too late! happy to play

[elhnrt]

So I’m kinda new to drawing people, and it’s just SO hard. Do you have advice for tips on getting better at drawing people quickly?

I know ppl always say just draw more but MY PEOPLE LOOK LIKE PORRIDGE AND IT MAKES ME SO SAD….

Do you ever draw something and it turns out badly? How do you deal with it (emotionally)?

this has been sitting in my inbox for a while i've been thinking about how to best advise it and essentially it narrows down to: sorry anon, you're going to have to draw a lot and it's going to fucking suck until it doesn't, get used to it. sounds harsh but it's true. there will always be an ugly wip stage no matter what you do. trudge through the mud, dig through the shit to get to your diamond. get used to wading in your metaphorical shit.

"getting better at drawing people quickly" so this part made me think cuz i was liek does anon mean get better fast or draw people with fast methods and in that i have to say 2 things

you can't force expertise i'm sorry you're going to have to draw over and over and over and over and ad nauseam until you get the hang of that technique and then do that for everything ever in art until YOU are satisfied (<- THIS IS THE KEY! do YOU like the end result)

if you want to draw fast like physically fast then i highly suggest learning back/shoulder/arm stretches and do gesture drawing with a timer. whenever im art blocked and in a culvert of shit art, which happens all the time, i like to use this site https://line-of-action.com/practice-tools/figure-drawing

people watching is my best advice. go learn from real life. you don't even have to bring a sketchbook just watch how like people... are. move, talk, interact, their clothes, their walks, their gestures, all that.

also, your last part stuck out to me most so this will be the more from the heart section as opposed to Le art poster Advice. i draw bad every single day of my life, and have done so since i was in the single digits. there's a reason why my art folders are several gigs worth of content mostly unpostable. i have a moving box larger than me of all my sketchbooks since elementary. drawing pisses me off all the fucking time and i've been doing it for nearly 20 years. but are you gonna let a couple bad sketches stop you? you like drawing, right? you're just gonna stop and not just erase/crumple it up/scroll over and move on? <- that's how i deal with it.

i love drawing. if i don't draw i will, inevitably, go to a very very bad place, or do something i can't say lest i be reported. i have drawn in a mental ward with broken crayons, i've drawn on sidewalks and brick walls, i've drawn in sand, i've drawn in dust on car hoods, i've picked up pens and pencils and markers on the floor and drawn on receipt papers and plastic bags and shirts and books. if my right arm is gone, i'll draw with my left. if my arms are gone, i'll draw with my feet. if my limbs are gone, i will draw with my mouth. i recognize my shortcomings, and hate that i have to reconcile with the fact that i'll never be perfect right off, but despite that, i know it is inherent to the process, because I LOVE DRAWING! I LOVE DRAWING SO MUCH!!!!!! why spend so much time if you don't love the method and madness! i love creating a vision so unique to ME, and if people like it in the process, well, then isn't that all the better.

the positives outweigh the negatives forever and ever and ever. GO DRAW RIGHT NOW and do it AGAIN and AGAIN even if you hate it you WILL LIKE IT!

#ppppp #lenask #anonymous

[utilitycaster]

Your blog feels like somewhat of a safe haven because you seem like a very reasonable person, which is why I feel safe saying this here only. Some of the responses to L*udna calling Im*gen sister make me very uncomfortable. People literally saying that m*risha is wrong about her character or that it doesn't mean anything, or that laudna doesnt know how she feels. It reminds me of my least favorite aspect of the Fandom, where people will decide how they think the characters feel or think about something or how they would act in a given circumstance, and then in their minds it becomes Canon and they get frustrated when the actors (who in dnd are the storytellers) don't act upon their Canon. This is different than just being disappointed that a ship you like didn't become Cano, IMO. I really like Imogen but I LOVE laudna, and I feel like a lot of the times she is reduced to just be Imogen's other half, and now that people denying what marisha says her character thinks, saying she's wrong, being mad at the choice, it makes it hard to interact with the fandom on this site because I feel like I can't talk about Laudna or Imogen without it circling back to their relationship. My favorite pairings in C1 were Vex and Percy and Vex and Keyleth and I feel like I didn't have this problem as much with them but also I wasn't as deep on the internet or in fandom back then. :(

Hey anon,

Thank you so much for this - it’s really nice of you!

I don’t have a ton to add or say about this, honestly; the post I reblogged about it said it better than I could. This has always been what put me off the ship as it exists in the fandom: I’m not opposed to Imogen and Laudna becoming a couple, but the fanon is deeply boring while also being all consuming and crystalized before the end of the first episode. It’s frustrating, as someone who enjoys both Imogen and Laudna, to try to talk about them without getting obnoxious responses to anything that even hints there might be misunderstandings or conflict between them. It lessens their characters and the work both Marisha and Laura have put in. It makes it impossible to explore their flaws, and it makes everything about them uncompelling, when they are both very interesting characters. I’ve found Laudna especially to be coming into her own in this Team Issylra arc.

The fact is, Laudna said what she said. It doesn’t mean a romance is impossible, but I think it’s genuinely indicative of how Laudna feels at this time. Which to be honest matches how I’ve felt regarding Laudna’s feelings about Imogen from early on! I think Imogen is romantically interested in Laudna, but I think Laudna has always seen Imogen in a more familial way, and I don't know if it's fair to her to try to explain that as just Laudna's insecurities. I also think it's possible Imogen has exacerbated those insecurities - if I were Laudna, I’d be feeling a certain way about Imogen’s exploration of the validity of the Vanguard, and I might even still be feeling the unresolved pull of the gnarlrock fight.

I can’t speak to Campaign 1 ships specifically since I watched that campaign after it had already finished, but at the very least Imodna has felt notably different to me in that usually people talk about at least one of the parties of a popular ship as an individual, even if they reduce the other to nothing. Here it feels like they both get folded into ship fodder. I’ve also seen a really strong trend of people tagging fanart of one of the characters alone, without the other, with the ship name, and that feels new compared to past campaigns and popular ships though the obvious cynical answer is just that the ship is more popular than the characters on their own and so artists are just trying to get eyes on their work in the most effective way. And as I’ve said a few times, the fact that Laudna’s death was more than once referred to as throwing the ship away has stuck with me as an illustrative moment. I think the fandom response to this ship is different than some past ones, and not in a good way.

With that said, I am trying, despite myself, to practice good faith here. I’ll admit that I’ve had enough bad faith interactions with fans of the ship such that it’s no longer an option when I get reblogs on my posts or anons in my inbox. But in terms of what might transpire in the hypothetical situation where Imogen and Laudna end the campaign without becoming romantically involved, I would like to give those who ship it the chance to respond with grace rather than assuming they will not.

#answered #Anonymous #critical role spoilers #cr discourse #(just in case)

[khalixvitae]

I HAVE NEVER SEEN SOMEBODY CONVEY IDIA'S CHARACTER AS WELL AS YOU DID OMG I JUST READ WHEN YOU SAID IDIA ISNT AN INCEL so many people misinterpret his character as just being shy but that just sets him up as a stereotypical introvert. It's not that he's SHY it's that he physically doesn't know hoe to deal with people and instead of trying to learn he just assumes there is no point so he perpetuates his own loneliness. IM SO GLAD IVE FOUND SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS HIM LIKE I DO AAAAAHHHH

Aghhhhh hello anon! Im glad you enjoyed my silly little post, that’s so sweet of you! Yea I feel like there’s so much going on with Idia (frankly with both of the Shroud brothers and their whole deal) that gets kinda bogged down by tropey perceptions. Like yes Idia is introverted and mostly opposed to interacting with people, but there are a lot of layers there. He’s agoraphobic, under-socialized, and painfully anxious. he’s scarily smart and prefers to scheme behind the scenes until he’s positive whatever he’s cooking up is fool proof (which I don’t think is an inherently bad trait) because things are easier and require less effort when there’s a script. freeballing social interactions with people and a broader environment you have no interest in connecting with is both taxing and in no way gratifying (in Idia’s mind, and in most cases). Its inefficient, which I also think is a good way of summarizing his attitudes towards social interaction.

He considers it pointless for everyone involved since he’s just going to disappear one day. Not to mention his upbringing and that hot mess of socialization, I think anybody would be fucked up from that. Plus his whole complex about his appearance and the fact that it’s not exactly been pleasant to just exist publicly. With all these factors in mind It’s important to remember that he’s the one who has decided he MUST be alone and that his fate is predetermined. In the name of efficiency/practicality and his sanity (while ironically undermining both) he just gives up before he’s even started. The world doesn’t end for the people around him, but he’s miserable and would be regardless. I mean he outright says so in book 6. The worst part is that he’s really self aware about it - he just doesn’t think he can change his circumstances or himself. I think the rest of his character really relies on that point. Honestly that’s what makes him so tragic and why I think his overblot is so interesting. It calls into question this focus on efficiency because it’s really just a bluff- as smart and rational as he wants to be, he’s quick tempered and honestly very emotional. We actually get to see just how far he can go with this almost martyr like philosophy because it hinges on his low self worth, but once someone he loves is brought into the equation, he completely jumps the gun. He may not see himself as worth saving, but for the one person he cares about/who understands him??? Who he believes he failed? Rationale goes out the window.

Anyways sorry for the little tangent there, I just think he’s so interesting and the incel trope really downplays the nuance there. He’s so smart but so emotionally driven despite being emotionally stunted and tbh I think that’s his downfall.

#I think he’s awful and wonderful #twst #idia post （ ; ; ）<3 #asks !! #idia shroud #tumblr won’t let me divide this on mobile help sorry alskdjdj