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#but if im honest it actually grew on me somehow
hiphopcherrrypop · 8 months
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imagine you disappear bc ur busy dimension hopping trying to save ur own dimension or wtvr + then you get back to find ur two bffs who you've never introduced are now dating
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hes-a-tough-kid · 10 months
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If you see the final word count for my completed fic gently increasing over months and months no you dont
#i have realised that the ‘fast n loose’ method for churning out a fic doesnt work for me actually#i am so sad that so much of that fic was skipped- or told and not shown- or brushed over in favour of me forcing it out quickly#i know i did it for a good reason- that if i took my time with it and it grew bigger and bigger that there was a risk i would have exhausted#myself and not finished it at all which would have been way worse#i think actually taking 3 months to craft 15k chapters with many drafts makes me happier than churning out 4k in a week#that being said im so glad its finished and that- somehow- it did so much better than i would have ever dreamed <33#now i can go back and make it what i want it to be without the pressure of racing against my own stamina#and. if im really honest. i didnt think i would still be into avatar for this long lmao#i thought id lose the brainrot at around month three so i had to finish the fic before then#and yet. month 7 and i draw spider in my sketchbook every day. i think about him every spare minute.#the brainrot is still kicking and im happy#anyway here i go to dive back into that fic and add even more angst and whump and maybe another hug. if spider is lucky#i also want to write a little one shot about Ngaire properly taking care of spider after something bad happens#but idk if people wanna read OC stuff and its certainly not my comfort zone so i might keep it to myself#N E WAY this was the biggest and dumbest ramble to myself about my own fics lmao i should really shut up and just go write :’)
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cryoux · 4 months
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Secret Santa for: @1eaf-me-alone
IM SO SORRY THIS IS LATE!!!!
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The holidays were terribly exciting. Something about the atmosphere, the festive lights, even those same Christmas carols heard each and every year, simply energized the air itself, feeding a little extra joy into everyone.
Even those who were already overcome by it - example, a certain magician, who seemed to always hold a smile across his face, even when his purple eyes held so much more within him. For someone who was always forcing a smile on his face for the sake of others, always taking care of others, he deserved to be taken care of, too.
Hence, here you were, at his home with Freminet and several boxes of Christmas-y decor. The plan? Simple.
Lynette was to lure Lyney out of the house, as he would reliably follow his dear sister anywhere. Meanwhile, you and Freminet snuck all these boxes into their home, and decorated the hell out of it. You would only have a few hours at most, which was daunting, but you needed to do this for Lyney. He needed to know how much everyone cared, especially since his siblings had never been too vocal about their admiration for him.
“Frem, go wrap this garland around the banister.” You handed the boy a box packed full of fake pine garlands, with little lights distributed over the entire length of the garland. “Oh, actually, go plug them in to see if they work first!” You instructed.
Freminet nodded, appearing a little stressed, bless his heart. The time limit seemed to be hanging over his head like a guillotine, one that could fall and sever this plan of theirs at any moment. You only prayed Lynette would distract Lyney for long enough.
As Freminet worked on unwinding all the garlands, you searched for smaller tasks for yourself to do. Hanging a wreath here, setting a candle there, making sure everything was perfect. It had to be perfect.
Two hours of desperate decorating passed, and the two of you were happy with the way it had all come together. The blend of traditional Christmas greens and reds and whites was comforting, and pleasing to the eye, just as you'd envisioned in your head when you came up with this idea.
And yet…
You looked toward the large, empty spot you had left in the living room. It had already been two hours, but you and Freminet had yet to even unpack the faux Christmas tree you had purchased. There was no way you were going to be able to decorate it in time, unless Lynette somehow came up with a miracle way to distract Lyney endlessly. That was, until Freminet spoke up.
“What if… we just decorate it with him?” The quiet boy suggested, appearing terrified to even be making the statement.
But it was absolutely brilliant.
“Oh my archons, yes, that's a perfect idea!!” You exclaimed, holding your hand out for a high five, which Freminet returned very softly. It was more like a pat, to be honest, but it was completely alright with you.
So you both got to work assembling the tree, fluffing out the branches, making sure they were evenly spaced out. You had only just finished the task when the front door opened, in a way that somehow told you it was Lyney.
As if your intuition wasn't enough, Lyney also couldn't ever keep his mouth shut. “Honestly, Lynette, I'm all for desserts sometimes, but did we have to try EVERY single o-” the famous magician stopped when he looked into his home, which was now decorated top to bottom for the holiday season.
“Oh, my!” He exclaimed, and you reveled in the fact that for once, he actually looked surprised. You had managed to catch the best magician in Fontaine in a moment of shock, and a grin grew on your face at that thought.
Lyney's purple eyes scanned over each little detail of the decorations, before finally settling on you and Freminet. “Did… did you guys do this?”
You nodded on your and Fremi's behalf. “Yep! And Lynette, you did such a good job!” You laughed at how perfect the timing had been.
Lynette shrugged. “I know my brother. It wasn't difficult to keep his attention.” Everyone watched as Lyney put the pieces together.
“You- oh, you-!” Lyney huffed, though he was still smiling, just as he always did. “I can't believe this!”
Freminet and Lynette gave the slightest smiles at his bewilderment, while you laughed joyfully. “And hey, we even left you an entire tree to decorate with us.” You gestured to said tree, before Lyney pulled you into a fierce hug.
“I don't even know what to say. Thank you. This was so incredibly thoughtful.” He murmured, his voice genuine, and you nodded in response. 
“Of course. Merry Christmas, Lyney.” You replied, pulling away from the hug to look up at him with pure joy in your heart. Then, you turned to look at Lynette, then Freminet, and held out an arm.
“You two get hugs too!” You insisted, and Lyney laughed raucously. The two shy siblings looked as if they wanted to melt into the floor, but eventually they were pulled into the warm embrace you and Lyney had created. 
You couldn't wait to decorate that tree with your three favorite people in the entire world.
“Fremi, you're not getting out of putting the Santa hat on!”
“Please, no…”
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cowboyjen68 · 1 year
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Hi Jen, please forgive me if this sounds deranged. I understand if you don't reply, but I don't know any older women like me to go to for advice. Also, please disregard this if i forget to press anon (paranoid lol)
I never thought I wanted kids, my fiancé says she doesn't (sometimes she says things that make me think otherwise, but im going to say she doesn't because I have to take her at her word)
The thing is that recently it's been more and more in my head. Im in my early 30s so I don't know if it's a biological clock thing, I know I should say it to her but im not sure if I should either because I don't want to cause problems in our relationship, but also I don't even know if I understand how I feel about it (this is made worse by the fact that, while we live in the same city, we have temporarily had to live apart for financial reasons while saving for a mortgage)
The thing is, I feel like I'm starting to really want kids, which I know I should say to her
But
I feel like I only want kids with her if that makes sense? If I was with anyone else, I wouldn't want to
I'm not even sure if I actually want kids at all. It's more like (sorry if this is gross or anything). i have this increasing... need for want of a better word? To have with her what straight people have, I wish I could get pregnant by her somehow, I wish I could make a person who is made of me and of her, this makes me feel guilty and pained and confused (just to clarify this is not sexual confusion, I am and have always been exclusively same-sex attracted) I guess I just am at the point where I love her so much that I want something that I can't have, im not sure whether I actually want kids or whether it's some hormonal thing but (I know this sounds weird) i3 guess I wish I could express our love in that way? But I'm kind of in my feelings and confused about it, I dont know where to start or whether to tell her or what I would even say to her about it. Also most of my friends are either younger (wouldn't get it) or straight (and it would be humiliating to me to go to them over something that they could do without a second thought)
Anyway, i thought I'd come here because I know you have a lot more experience than me, and i was wondering what you would do in my position
I am one of those moms who never wanted kids. I am a realist and understood from a pretty young age that kids are a pain in the ass. They are expensive, a lifelong commitment, noisy, unpredictable and invasive. I was raised around nephews and nieces and younger cousins .I saw women my age get pregnant in high school. I grew up in the 80’s where half the “After School Specials” were about the hardships of teen pregnancy and a fair amount of books for teen girls and sitcoms aimed at my demographic featured young women having and raising unplanned kids. I very clearly saw the writing on the wall and wanted NO part of it. I wanted MY LIFE to be mine. 
     I have 5 kids all adopted from foster care and the truth is I didn’t want ANY Of them. I stated in my dating profile that kids were a deal breaker. I communicated over the course of my second relationship that kids were of negative interest to me and my life. My mind never changed and in all truth I just got tired of saying no and we became foster parents. MY ex loved the “IDEA” of being a parent but not the actual work. I understood this about her which was one reason I pushed back for years before giving in and agreeing. I know, based on my parents and my siblings I would be a decent mom, I just didn’t want to be. My kids are all grown except my 17 year old. They are 25, 25, 26 and 23. I have a pretty good relationship with them. My oldest daughter has a daughter who is 21 months. I am not a wonderful grandma. I work all the time and we live hours apart. I am focused on my life and home and future because for a 17 year marriage I neglected it. My kids all know I was a reluctant parent because we have a very open and honest relationship.
      Parenting with my ex was horrible. I worked two jobs, budgeted, did the majority of the homework, bedtime ritual, morning prep and house work and I spent years being exhausted. I partially stayed with her because until the final adoption we could not legally be married so I had NO legal right to the older 4 and was not about to abandon them to my wife. 
      I am telling you this background so you understand that I have a unique and possibly skewed perspective about parenting as a lesbian. It is totally normal to be unsure about wanting kids. I would say most straight people also go back and forth between the emotional idea of having kids as an extension of love and of a good use of their compatibility and partnership, to have and raise a happy, healthy child (ren) AND knowing the stress of money, unpredictable times, and the fact that, no matter how great parents are , kids are people and they very quickly for their own idea, personalities and who KNOWS what can happen given those facts. The difference is just that lesbians can’t accidentally become parents so we have to either overcome the fear and want the kids more than we don’t OR stay childless. Many great parents did not get there with careful planning, just one day they are thrust into the role and step up to the task. 
     My advice is to keep talking to your partner about your thoughts." I think I might want kids” is not the same and “WE MUST have kids or I won’t be happy”. Communicate your confusion and insecurities about it and also the good things you see about becoming parents.  I highly suggest volunteering for Big Brother Big Sisters, or even getting a foster care respite license. When you do respite you are essentially babysitting kids so adoptive and foster parents can get a break. These kids can be everything from charming and sweet to struggling with mental illness and trauma (which is why it requires training).. You can get a lot of fulfillment, experience and learning moments plus you are giving exhausted caretakers a break. Offer to babysit a friend's kids. See if the local Girl Scout needs volunteers, A lot of nature centers run kids summer programs or weekend programs like birthday parties and always need volunteers. Consider taking some childhood or first time parent classes. All of this is to give you a well rounded perspective of how kids can be, which is sometimes awful but very often wonderful and sweet and even when they are misbehaving you can feel joy in watching these tiny people learn and grow. 
You are correct about the idea of biological children vs adoption. They are not the same. I know a lot of people want to believe that they are exactly the same connection and bond but in my experience that is a lie people often tell themselves.  The fact is, parenting a child that is not biological does take a little more effort to bond and connect. Eventually it strengthens and can be wonderful but it is unique. Not better or worse, just different. My kids were all older, 4, 7, 8, 10, and 16 when they came into my life so they were already established in personality and habits and world view so it took time to align with each other. We are now all more like friends than a parent/child relationship but perhaps that just happens with age and maturity.  Adoption is by far cheaper with more available resources (through foster care) than using a sperm bank or asking a friend to donate so one of you can be pregnant but each couple needs to weigh what works for them. 
     I would suggest putting off major discussions until you can see each other but if not, do it over zoom or facetime so you can see each other’s expressions and have a nuanced conversation. I would not make any major purchases like a house until you are settled a bit and you both are at least on the same page with kids. That page might be neither of you are sure yet or that you both think it should wait until life is less up in the air to decide together. If you land solidly in the “i must have kids” camp and she says “NO”, you might have your answer. Then you must decide between letting go of the need for kids or moving on from the relationship. The worst thing you can do is push someone who is expressing that they don’t want kids into having kids. This is a bad deal. 
I know this is a lot. Kids are a big deal to both the relationship and to the kids who are brought into that relationship, no matter now that happens. I wish you the best and I hope, together, you can talk it out and get some clarity.
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sockori · 6 months
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shmupdate 🧦
very long, hastily written, but a look is appreciated
greetings- to those who are somehow still lingering around this account or came up upon it during my desolate time off. it is sock. or sockori.... or raven... my name is actually raven (they/it, 20 yo disabled autistic goth nerd whatever the fuck). howdy
im still on the 'undetermined hiatus' so to speak that i described in my leaving post, but i will say right now that i have no near future plans on returning. in the tags on my newest art, i mentioned my naruto hyperfixation (of like. 6 years i think) finally died out and other interests have long since captured my autism full force. for me personally, when i lose a special interest like this so drastically, i just full on abandon it for as long as it stands. however, this isn't the only thing that made me leave, and i think its time for me to be completely honest & get some weight off my chest.
i made this account around the cusp of turning 14, during a god awful pubescent era where i acted as any other edgy teen does and i'd much rather like to forget these days. what im saying is i was not in the right mindset at all when i exposed myself that much & got the attention that i did. a dismayingly giant coping mechanism i had in my youth was being online 24/7 because i had no one in reality to lean on let alone feel comfortable talking to about anything that was happening at that time. this of course leads to what the kids call these days being 'chronically online'- desperate for some sort of assurance or interaction, i crawled into internet spaces i shouldn't have been for an also incredibly unsupervised child using the dangerous worldwide web.
yes, naruto was apart of this, as well as other interests i had at the time. throughout my journey i met unsavory people, suffered abhorrent things like stalking & gr---ming, saw things i didn't deserve to see, did a bunch of stupid shit an angsty teen does, i believe you understand the rest. i am in no way proud or gleeful about any of these years and have some very sour memories tied to fandom as a whole, not just naruto, and i really don't like reflecting on them. so, unfortunately, this account sorta became a bitter reminder of what i went through as i grew up & finally matured and sought to recover. that's the first part of why my activity fizzled away & i began backing off from internet use entirely.
the second part is sasori. yes, the puppet man. sorta the sole reason i made sockori in the first place. as the sasori enjoyers following / who followed know, this puppeteer has an incredibly unhealthy philosophy and worldview (if the carefully preserved corpses turned puppets and complete lack of humanity didn't give that away), and is safe to say entirely detached from his reality to a nhilistic and suicidal extent. when you autistically fixate on a character like how i did, sometimes this character's rhetoric can seep into your own without you even realizing; Especially when you're a spot where you are incredibly vulnerable and psychologically unstable, as i was in my youth. now i didn't go around believing you should uhhh murder people and preserve them Obviously- actually i began to believe that perhaps there was some peace in obtaining a robotic existence. maybe emotions were useless, perhaps nothing truly mattered, my life didn't matter, art in eternal in the sense that death is scary and i should avoid it at all costs, why make connections with people when they just die or leave, cant trust people at all to help me, xyz. anything in these lines. without going too uncomfortably deep for everyone's sake and mine, it fucked me up severely. i suppose in a way it relates to how he uses poison. his toxins got right into my nervous system, but the pain i felt from those toxins was the only thing i could really rely on at the time, so i just let it happen. such is the depressing case of coping in the worst spot of your life.
cant help but feel incredibly strange telling the tale, as it sounds so obscure doesn't it, but media can truly get inside your psyche like this if a consumer isn't careful. not sure if anyone else out there fell into a similar headspace dealing with interests in this nature- but regardless. what i mean to say is, sasori is now a kind of content i cant consume anymore. i am in a way better place now, have grown wise and balanced with careful recovery and patience, and of course have grown out of whatever teenage nonsense i was on. sasori, who was once the only thing my autistic traumatized ass could lean on, is now an extremely dark shadow on my life. yes i see this homicidal anime puppet dude from a fantasy ninja anime and get psychological distress. he's somewhat of an aggressor or abuser to me now, which is tragic. ive been actively avoiding everything even vaguely relating to him, be it the art of puppetry, anime clips, robotic/sci-fi genre, whatnot cause i just. man. i dont wanna go back there. shouldn't have to explain why at this point. ptsd at its finest
feel like ive been honest enough. sasori enjoyers out there who were just around to enjoy what i made, anyone i happened to be good friends with during my time on this account, this doesn't have anything to do with you guys. i appreciate everyone dearly for supporting me and cheering me on in whatever i made despite all the hell & anguish that was taking place beyond the keyboard. im just glad that i managed to find some way out and get the help i need before i gave up & took my own life, which depressingly i almost did a handful of times. carrying the horrors is an exhausting burden to bare sometimes, but that does not mean i can't look back on the good parts of the era too. and seeing you all happy and sharing my memes or whatever made me ecstatic and at least a little bit hopeful for the future. fortunately that little spark of hope grew into something more. thanks for being a light in a very, very dark room.
that being said, i leave you all with this: i am not dead, just greatly changed, a new person at last freed from apathy & exhaustion, with now enough room to finally grow. the memories will never truly fade & my disabilities will be a part of me until i pass on, but at least now i can manage them a lot better than ever before, surrounded by way better people who love me for who i am. i will hang on the best i can. i wish for you to do the same. find freedom and happiness wherever you are. take care. happy trails
trans rights. i eat fascist souls. free palestine
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angiethewitch · 8 months
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I'm sorry about the ppl crossing boundaries on the post about your husband. I noticed your response to the sherlock holmes person mentioned you grew up in foster care. were there any good experiences? is it an age-out system? do you get any support when you do? do you know if the welsh system is different from others? how did you meet your husband?
I had quite a turbulent couple of years in the system early on, but eventually I was in a long term placement with my mum and she eventually adopted myself and my brother (who is my only blood related sibling, the rest were either fellow adoptees or my mums bio kids). I didnt really have any good experiences with specifically the system, it was all pretty crap to be honest. the social workers themselves weren't great and messed with my head a lot. because my birth mother gave us up voluntarily, we were still in regular court supervised contact (and nowadays I can see her of my own free will, we're pretty close! she's not a mother to me but more like a friend or a cousin or something) and her social workers were nice, I really liked one specific worker she had. she was a nice Indian lady who once made me a gorgeous embroidery of a tortoise. she didn't have to, she wasn't my worker, but she did it anyway. she could have ignored us and still done her job correctly but she would chat to us and play with us during contact meetings if my birth mother wasn't feeling well or was nervous.
im not really sure if it was an age out system, I think that's more on a case by case basis, but the British system is more focused on getting kids either in long term placements (adopted or otherwise) or returning them to family eventually. the welsh system is just the British system with even less funding somehow. admittedly I don't know much about other peoples experiences, but from what I know the British system is different in the sense there aren't private adoption agencies, its funded by the government and the employees are government employees. from what I understand a lot of American carers are private carers and the adoption agencies pocket the money themselves, but I could be wrong. again I don't really know if you get support, I don't remember a lot from that time of my life, but I do know when I turned 16 my case was closed as I was considered old enough to make my own choices without state supervision. that meant I could see my birth mother without supervision and whenever I felt like it, which I did, and we grew a lot closer without a support worker stood there taking notes! I cant really speak for other people though, I don't really know or remember much. from what my family and my mum told me, there wasn't really much support after I was adopted to be honest, theoretically I was still "in the system" but in practice I was effectively left on my own from my adoption day onwards.
I met my husband through a friend, one day my friend asked if I fancied going for a drive with her and her cousin. I was actually with the girl i was seeing at the time, we weren't official or exclusive, although getting there slowly. she was invited along too. my friends cousin pulled up outside my flat and out popped this beautiful man. I thought he was much older than me because 1) he could drive and 2) he was tall and muscular and most blokes my age looked my age. turns out he's only 6 months older than me, he just looks like an absolute unit and much older. he recalls at the time that his cousin was trying to get him out socialising, because he'd actually only just started to recover from his disability and being bedbound for his entire teenage life so far. he'd only really just gained the ability to walk again at the time. he said his cousin directed him to a random flat in a rough town and out I came, an excitable manic skinny blue haired girl who he heavily suspected was on drugs (I was - I was in the depths of my cocaine addiction at the time) with a small girl in tow. apparently I danced all around the place talking a million miles an hour and hopped in the car and away we went. we ended up walking up a mountain that day. from that moment on we were inseperable, he was my best friend. I broke things off with the girl I was seeing when she started getting a little possessive, and started dating this guy who was really bad news. my husband was there for me through all of it, he was genuinely my best mate, and when things ended very badly with this guy (it's a whole other story) we started hanging out on a daily basis. he said he fell for me very quickly and decided he was going to marry me one day.
funnily enough, he'd actually known of me for years. I was his instagram crush for about 3 years before we met, and I ended up being best friends with his high school crush (you've met her, in my recent youtube video about pride. she was my maid of honour) so he knew of me far before I met him. he says he can't believe he managed to get in a relationship with his teenage instagram crush. he thinks too highly of me honestly, he utterly adores me and I adore him. we were pretty much joined at the hip from the second we met.
I will say "whirlwind romance" is an understatement, we got engaged very quickly and married just over a year after getting into a relationship. we were dumb kids playing at adulthood and we were very lucky things turned out so good, because it could have gone very badly. I think it helped that he was my best friend before and had seen me in every state imaginable - blackout drunk, manic, psychotic, self destructive, angry, sad - so he knew exactly how turbulent my life was and he decided he loved me anyway. he supported me through rehab and through the process of getting diagnosed with schizophrenia and the treatment that entailed. thankfully as we grew up we grew together and not apart. People were definitely right when they said we were too young and it was too soon though, we're just lucky we seemed to be perfectly fit to handle eachothers crap. he's the person I feel I can be completely myself around and he's supported me through so much. he's had his own struggles with physical and mental health, but I won't get into that, its his story to tell.
sorry for such a long answer, I know you only wanted to know how I met him, but I felt like telling you more. I hope this answers your questions! have a good day!
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elijah-terry · 9 months
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For that OC ask game how about 3 for Kieran and Yuuha and 9 for Stewie :]
oh man 3 is such a good one for kieran and yuuha, thank u prince !!!!
so okay. UM this got kind of long so i put it under a readmore <3 can you tell i'm back on adhd meds <3
questions are from this post!
3. What is your oc's fatal flaw? Are they aware of this flaw?
So, first, Kieran. For full context, Kieran is originally my partner's oc, but now we both have custody of him <3 And when I mentioned this question to him he immediately said, "Oh, god, just one?" But anyway my answer for this is that Kieran's fatal flaw is love. (not romantic, he is arospec) .He would do anything for the people he cares about, at the risk of literally killing himself. He sees himself as worthless and irredeemable, and values the people he loves more than anything and definitely more than himself. If what that person wants hurts Kieran, he'll do it anyway. He'll do it to the ends of the earth. Part of this is because Kieran is a coward, and he considers that to be his fatal flaw. And to be honest the two are undeniably and inextricably connected. He doesn't want to let himself love. He feels it so much and buries it deep because he doesn't think he deserves it and he's too scared. His brother hates him and Kieran accepts that because he hates himself. He's just a big scared vulnerable feelings guy. :( but. tldr his ass is NOT aware of that flaw, he thinks it's that he's a coward. This love pertains specifically to like... platonic and familial love. His brother, the girl he considers his sister, Stewie, etc. When Kieran actually experiences romantic love he's kind of. chill with it. though that probably has to do with who the guy is tbh ( real quick i have to say now that i am talking about this story with people ((which is super exciting and fun for me!!!)) i need to say. kieran and stewie are not love interests. and in selkies it explicitly states that stewie reminds kieran of his brother evelyn for this reason specifically bc i can see it now. i can see if this ever somehow got published the biggest ship in the place would be kieran and stewie. crying emoji but im on my laptop)
3 for Yuuha:
His biggest flaw is definitely his pride. Yuuha is trans and at his old ballet studio, his instructor didn't acknowledge him as trans, and kept giving him parts that are generally for girls y'know. Often leads bc the instructor was obsessed with Yuuha (is the bad guy of that arc, has a palace, etc) and Yuuha kept taking them every time because he would rather be seen as a girl and be in the spotlight than be on the sidelines. And people used to talk shit about him because of it because he would complain about not being seen as a guy and then take like. idk clara from the nutcracker and people just saw him as a hypocrite. His pride is also what kept him from approaching Hifumi for years after they grew apart. Her success from afar made him feel bad after he quit dance and became a nobody, and he didn't know what she was going through and just assumed that she was too good for him. And he started to kind of believe it. His pride is also what almost gets him killed in the Metaverse, because he gets cocky and runs ahead without the PT. (in black mask au it's his pride that also gets him found out.) But he's extremely aware of this flaw, he just can't overcome it alone. He struggles with it constantly, and it's his Confidant route with Joker that helps him come to terms with it.
9. Do you have a specific lyric or quote you associate with your oc? For Stewie
I had to go through the songs on his playlist real quick but. look. there's a lot of things i associate with stewie but he is, before he is anything else, kindness and love and acceptance. and this is gonna sound so small and stupid and simple but "Everyone you know will lie / those you trust will make you cry / all hellos end with good bye / so who's afraid to love? Not I." it's just. the quintessential feeling at the heart of his character. he's not afraid to love. why yes he is kieran's foil how did you know? sidfjdsf i wrote so much stuff for kieran and yuuha and like. nothing for stewie but like. stewie is full of love. that's his whole him. full of love. like he's still a complex character with other emotions but the things that remind me the most of stewie are his determination to love people who are equally as determined to not be loved. to help people who insist (lying) that they don't want to be helped. to accept those who feel they'll never be accepted.
thank u for reading this long thing sfsdf thank u SO much for asking !!!! aaa!!!!!!!
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inkyquince · 2 years
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not to continue to be honry for church men in your ask box, but im going to continue to be horney for church men in your ask box.
nasty lil headcannon that ive always held close to my heart, but Jordan and Sydney being related? top fucking teir. it also adds another delicious layer to any potential lewd activities between the two.
Like just imagine that Jordan is actually Sydneys cousin, and Sydney grew up holding them in just super high regard, so thats why they were so eager to join the temple and so thorough in their duties, gotta impress their cousin, whose really more like a sibling if were being honest, their just so close. (i know that theres some discrepancies there with Jordans physical appearance, but that can just be shrugged off as an angle transformation)
bonus points if River is actually Jordans parent (simply because the eye color is the same). just think about it. a family full of sexually repressed church people. makes me drool.
I mean its a solid headcannon, the three being related somehow (also its funny cuz Sirris and River would be distantly related and they are the best opposites you could ever have in a family)
also the funniest thought is if Jordan's is Sydney's older sibling or something, that means Sirris didnt just have one, but two kids that are complete opposites to him.
But ngl, I prefer those headcannons where you take two completely different people and make em related. It's why I fuckin cackle at the thought of Whitney being Leighton's kid, or Remy and Niki being related. It's why i love syd's relationship with their parent, they're opposites but the best.
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hardwaresysx0 · 9 months
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Wx was probably my second favorite survivor during my fixation but i never played them cause i sucked at it GKJHSDGH but i have 2 skins for them somehow???
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BUT I DO REMEMBER THE KIND OF OUTFIT I USED TO PUT THEM IN!!!!!!!
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i think they would absolutely murder someone while wearing this/J not many of my other survivors have outfits on but i do remember that i used to be a wendy main ??? i don't know why i chose her other than easy haha easy survivor whatever oh well.
i also tended to invest in way too many emotes when i played purely because seeing wormwood do the chicken dance brought me a little too much joy
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like cmon. way too many emotes i have HALF OF THEM!!! WHAT H HELL!!! HOW AND WHY DID I SPEND MY SPOOLS ON THIS!!!
also my signature profile icon is the blue hound. it used to be the vargling but then i got this and went "he grew up :)"
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OH MY GOD I DID THE SAME THING WITH THE VIGNETTES.
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YOU CAN'T EVEN USE THESE !!!!!!!!!!!! CMON PAST ME WHAT ARE YOU ON!!!!!!!!!!/SILLY just kidding they have images of my guys and i love them. dances around in a circle before tragically falling over i remember i used similar to this as an actual background for one of my computers or something like that once
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i need a vignette of wormwood and wx holding hands
i mean this gets pretty close to that but still
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with wx and wormwood you see them together an awful lot which has to mean SOMETHING right
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similar to how wigfrid and willow are next to eachother in these and people tend to ship them a lot. idk just saying
augh i remember being so excited when wonkey came out but theyre not really an actual character which kills me!!! but its okay
WAIT I JUST REMEMBERED THIS OLD IMAGE I CONJURED UP THATS SO FUCKING FUNNY TO ME HOLD ON
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UGLY ASS. Alive peak humor. i could explain because there is actual context but im not gonna :) does wormwood and wx being my favorites have anything to do with being queer? OBVIOUSLY. wormwood gives off big agender and/or genderfluid vibes also hes a fuckin PLANT do you KNOW how those things genders work.
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BOTH!!!!!!! also its not even an unreasonable headcanon because wx is canonically nonbinary like!! if anyone is queer its those two and i will fight to the death on this matter/j but all of them are in some way if im being honest. like ill look at the page right now and list off my personal headcanons at this point in time it might chance. in no particular order its just how they showed up on my item collection section page thing
note from future me: that i did but the post was too long. im going to post it separate LOL
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bar-les-coucougnes · 10 months
Note
So how's figuring the game out coming along? Any progress on theories? And bonus, how do you think this will end?
well to start with, the more it goes on, the less i understand, so that's the gist of it 👍
jokes aside, spoilers ahead, probably (i'm half convinced i'm just making shit up so im not sure those spoilers are all accurate, lol):
so i know some of it was told and some of it is kind of implied so i'm just going to go through my understanding of the events:
kinzo was in love with a 1st beatrice, who killed herself. then he "made" (using a surrogate mother, maybe? or, idk, he does employ orphans so maybe he could take one from the orphanage and tell them they're beatrice now) another one, 2nd beatrice, who grew up sheltered and wearing "beatrice"'s clothes from the portrait, who rosa met and helped run away, and died on the cliff because well, those are not practical clothes.
it COULD be that the 1st and 2nd one are actually one and the same, and that along the way someone retelling the event (rosa in one case, and i think beato in the other?), was mistaken about some stuff, since you could imagine that the line between "fell of a cliff while running away" and "killed myself to escape that creep" is a bit blurry.
then there's a 3rd beatrice who should be the same age as battler, and who battler, in some way "commited a sin against". i'm going to assume the whole "you didn't have anything to do with beatrice" red truth is because this beatrice was not called beatrice back then. as for the age, since the last beatrice died 19yrs ago, there's no reason to believe kinzo would've "made" a new one until after the death so she might be under 19? if the "making" of beatrice consists of taking small orphans and brainwashing them, i guess he could do that to toddlers and still getting away with it but after 5 or 6 years old, that might be complicated.
going slightly off topic here but when it was explained that he raised beatrice since she was a child, as a father or grandfather, in the hopes that when she grows up, she returns his affections or something? i think that's called grooming
back to 3rd beato and battler, i'm going to guess that battler somehow encountered her when he was like 12, saw her looking all pitiful and stuff and was like "don't worry, just hang tight and i'll come back and save you!" and then promptly fucked off for the next 6 years (classic move). which would explain why she's really mad at him and why he's acting like that when he remembers (though, so far, he hasn't said anything about what he remembers). i'll admit this part is partially because i saw some posts about "something something white horse" (coming to save her on his white horse? they did mention he has some pretty cringy lines as a kid) which is why i can guess that's his promise and that they're about the same age.
as for why he forgot, trauma? plot-convenient amnesia? someone caught up on what he was doing (i can imagine beatrice was somewhere battler wasn't supposed to go) and gave him the beating of his life and he forgot everything in the aftermath? or remembered it as a dream and forgot? actually that does remind me beatrice mentions that after she appears to people, they tend to forget about meeting her (which is why she burned/marked kanon and was it shannon too? so that they could remember the next day that they really did meet her)
also i'm going to be honest, while scrolling past memes and posts about umineko, i did notice that people call beatrice sayo (and this is where it's going to be embarrassing if i'm mistaken and it's just a name that looks like "sayo" and i remembered wrong lol) which is, incidentally, what shannon says is her real name. honestly that doesn't help me much because i'm not sure how that would fit in, exactly. maybe shannon is the 3rd beatrice? maybe she's the 4th beatrice actually and the 3rd one died and that's the real reason why beatrice said nothing happened between battler and beatrice? my head hurts
baby off the cliff: honestly, considering how kinzo moaned about "beatrice! beatrice!" after the servant and baby were pushed off the cliff, i wonder if the baby was going to be beatrice and he was like "fuck, now i have to make a new one"? (maybe that was his way of having beatrice grow up as successor?) i mean yeah the story says the baby is now a "man" but i'm aware that there are trans characters so someone could assume the baby was a boy and then 19 years later, surprise! this is now a beatrice. then again, the opening sequence has a young man with red hair so maybe that guy is the baby from back then. or maybe the baby just died and lambda was fucking around.
rationalizing the witches and demons:
at least for renove and virgilia: one is basically genji (even says at one point that genji's basically his vessel) and the other kumasawa. you could think that, with a bit of imagination, they could turn into "one hell of a butler" demon and "fairy godmother", basically. gaap is how you rationalize misplacing your stuff all the time (hello shannon).
probably missing a lot of stuff but i'd be here until 4am
oh yeah, how do i think it will end? everybody dies and the ghosts move on. i kind of want a happy ending but i'm not sure that's realistic. so i'd rather expect a sad ending and be pleasantly surprised if it's a happy ending :)
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pepprs · 2 years
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HI so… per my last post today i did nothing but play video game ♥️. i havent done a wobbledogs post in a couple weeks in bc i got an ear infection and then my wifi adapter broke lol but here are some dogs i have loved recently... (im leaving a lot out bc.. there have been SO many since my last post. but these are like my favorite favorites over the last couple weeks)
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this is vasthy! idk why i love them so much i just think she looks rly cool. a lot of the dogs she’s related to look kinda similar but.. idk she specifically just rly grew on me :D
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this is PIGLET and they are just a happy little guy!! i wasnt expecting to love him so much but their pinkiness just makes me so happy and i love his little eye shape (it’s charlotte’s! in fact i may be wrong but he might be descended from her now that i think abt it? which would be funny bc of charlottes web lol charlotte and then a pig….) and also he was always just super friendly w the other dogs lol. i just loved having him around. an all around good guy
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this is BEAK!!! i dont have many good pictures of her and u cant really tell from this one but she is my first dog who got honest to goodness horns out of nowhere…. and she has a UNICORN HORN at that! ive tried to keep horns on her offspring but i havent been successful yet and its rly frustrating lol but i will work on it
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this is beanie! i think she’s piglet’s descendant somehow.. just an all around cool pup who loved holding dirt in her mouth <3
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this is dumbo (named for those GIGANTIC wings) and he is the wobbledog equivalent of the get stickbugged meme lol. he had a difficult life bc as he got older he had trouble walking around bc his body got so long and his wings were so huge and his legs couldnt support him. so he would just do a lot of flips to move around and get stressed out all the time and i caught him in some funny poses (like the one pictured) but.. overall he did not have a good time. but i like him a lot and i wish i had done more to make sure he wasn’t in distress all the time
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this is FLOCKA my absolute beloved!!!! (i FULLY meant to name him floppa after the meme bc of his coloring like the big cat… but i got it mixed up w flocka and by the time i realized my error "flocka” had already grown on me 💀💀💀) he only had 1 leg and he had a rude personality so instead of getting stressed he would get really angry.. and he absolutely STOLE my heart bc i started watching him rly closely and learning what would stress him out and removing the stressors before he could react to them badly! i was rly excited and proud of kinda coming up w a language to interact w each other... like he couldnt grab food a lot of the time so i would move it to this specific spot against his forehead that he would always get it from and things like that. idk i just love when dogs have like a unique personality or way of doing things that stands out and then i feel like i bond w them lol (throwback to charlotte 🥴) but thats flocka!
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and THISSSSS is wammawink (solid green body, lighter red face... yes named after the centaurworld character 🥴) and her daughter wiggly (yellow hearts on green body, darker red / pink face)!!!!! wiggly is my first ever worm dog and bc of her i have completed every single achievement in the game except for one wing angel and i am SAURRR excited. wammawink only has two front legs (i kinda cheated by finding a dog code on the discord that i figured would give me a good chance of having offspring with 2 front legs 😭 but i nabbed her as soonas i saw her) and i had a TON of dogs w only two back legs to try to pair her with... it was actually soppy from one of my earlier posts who was the other parent to wiggly so that was rly cool since i loved them so much! i also am very amused / pleased that wiggly looks SO much like bambi.. like the same coloring and everything except bambi’s face is brown, same face shape and eye shape and pattern, etc.... so true of her <3
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AND FINALLY!!!! LAST BUT NOT LEAST!!!!! IS MY BABY BOY CUB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am OBSESSED with his nose and as soon as i saw it i knew i couldnt let him go. look at his little paws i am SICK!!!!!! look at his EARS! HIS EYES! HIS SNOUT!!! WAUGHGHGHGGHH!!!! BABY BOY BABY!!!!!!! the pictures dont convey it (also all of these are from before he was an adult bc i was so focused on getting a worm dog when he grew up lol.. as an adult his ears and nose turned into a light purple and im still not used to it) but cub is absolutely fucking LARGE. he is maybe my biggest dog ive ever had. he was already a pretty big puppy and he maybe tripled in size as he grew up to the point where he can’t really sit inside the den now without having to bend his head. also this was more exaggerated when he was a puppy / juvenile but when he flies his wings kinda.. jerk him backwards and all over the place and splay out his hind legs? and i am SO obsessed w it its the cutest thing ever in the whole world. i love himmmmm 💓💗💝❣️💖💞💗💓💞💝💖❣️💓💓💞💗💖💝❣️💓 (also he literally picked up the fucking VACUUM and was flying with it in the first pic. icon behavior)
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kagender · 1 year
Note
putata or mekeke for the ask meme
YESSSS i think ill be nice and do both.
putata:
Sexuality Headcanon: gonna act like i did with tamama CUZ HES GAYYYYY DUHHHH. like everyone in the world knows this and i knew it the first time i saw him. gonna go a bit off the rails here but hes the guy that got me watching the shurara corps arc, cuz i saw him in that big ending image w every keronian in it and i was like HOOOOLY SHIT.
Gender Headcanon: he is VERY MUCH A TRANSMAN n also i think he would loooove neopronouns n xenogenders. like hes just that kind of guy
A ship I have with said character: just like every person in the world i just luuuuv putameke..... theyre little freaks made for eachother, crafty guys who work in different mediums but still appreciate eachothers mediums, an excellent combo for frogs for when you want to steal the keron star etc etc. very compatible. they should not be seperated
A BROTP I have with said character: putata n kagege bestieism is sooooo faunny to me sorry. awkward guy devoid of any color and the most colorful energetic guy in the show(PROBABLY)
A NOTP I have with said character: ummm i cant think of anything that isnt like. straight up problematic cause i cannot be a hater really. i guess ill feel a bit iffy if someone pairs him with a girl but ive never actually seen it so like.like.
A random headcanon: im having a bit of trouble pinpointing just one honestly. cuz i think of the corps a lot in general....
well i think hes very caring over his nyororo, in my au it doesnt actually die (listen. i get a bit upset whenever a nyororo gets killed off in the anime thats just a funny beast.) but it does get really sick and it makes him flip his shit a bit ALRIGHT! like i def think its a pet hes had since childhood, his familys like dirty rich so they got him a nice one. saying that i def dont think hes getting much money from them anymore, like he has seperated himself from them pretty hard. also he knew mekeke since they were like, early teens? wow this is all over the place
General Opinion over said character: did you know that putata is also a species of bug(jodis putata) anyways hes GREAT. got me into this whole shurara corps thing. i had such strong brainrot over him when i was like 13-14 and im not exactly proud of it, still love him tho
mekeke:
Sexuality Headcanon: hes BIIIII. bisexual. hell ya baby!
Gender Headcanon: i think mekekes another character that falls under "not cis, not trans but some secret third thing" for me, i think i labelled him a demiboy a while ago though. well he is a boything for sure
A ship I have with said character: i will just repeat putameke..... literally 2 guys made for eachother wowwww its so wild I CANT BELIEVE IT. but also kagemeke is funny. cuz they both use puppetry haha fun but i dont think abt them too much
A BROTP I have with said character: ill just parrot the kagege thing again, though i also think him and dokuku would click together a bit :3
A NOTP I have with said character: I COULD NEVER BE A HATER!!!! never ever
A random headcanon: like w putata my minds a bit over the place.... imma be honest every time i get asked for a random headcanon my mind just goes blank like i forgot everything ive ever thought of in my life
one of my oldest headcanons ever is def gecko-handed mekeke, cause he has to stick to ceilings somehow if he wants to control his puppet from above. sorry i dont like making guys float for no reason.... i think hes def a bit quirky design wise in my au, has some brown markings that he just got as he grew up (thing that happens with keronians sometimes in general tee bee eh) and i call him oxidized because of that. also he has four arms for some reason. i dont really know what his deal is. its not even just his design he wasnt raised by keronians and might act a bit silly cause of it.
General Opinion over said character: bit of an autism beast
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lovelymessybubbly · 1 year
Note
hello tama/egg!
this is my first time going to someones asks with courage to talk about my tickling fetish.
im a minor and ive had this since i was 9 or younger. its really hard to talk about, and im actually going to share something extremely personal with you because i know its not okay, and i might aswell for the first time get someone’s opinion on my change of ways.
im not fully ashamed of it anymore, and for a very long time i hated myself bc of it.
im currently 15, and when i was 12 i used to, USED TO, think of children in my mind around the ages of 5-6, they were my ocs, getting tied up and tickled. i dont know why i went through that faze, it was really hard for me to change that for some reason. it hurts alot to talk about it to anyone, but going out here in public to tell you about it makes me proud.
i changed to thinking of only adult ocs, and i left the kid part behind because i felt like a pedofile, and thought i would be a pedofile when i grew up. i never really wanted to be hated for this, but i was, and i get why. i’ve had several close friends early in life tell me to fuck off or just unfriend/block me after i told them about this, and i get why they did that too.
im still working up to telling friends i know now about this personally, because you never know if someone’s going to hate you still, even though you think you’ve made a huge change in your life.
i also wanted to ask how you told your friends/partner ever about your fetish? its always been so hard for me. some advice would be nice, because i usually am somehow approaching in the wrong way.
anywho, thank you so much for your time, and im honestly proud of how you’ve handled that person who is sending alot of blogs that message, you did well!
sincerely, and ticklishly, your friend ruby!
hi ruby ! nice to hear from you ヾ(^ω^*)
this is quite a bit of personal information ! i will be honest with you, ruby - those kind of thoughts you were having are definitely not okay. it sounds like you were incorporating bondage into some of these thoughts with such young children and that is definitely not a harmless fantasy. but it sounds like you have come to terms with that, owned up to your perhaps harmful actions, and worked through it in your own way. recognizing your mistakes and putting in work like that is very respectable, so i would not hold i against you !
make sure you just understand how that might have negatively affected others, especially those who are triggered by situations like that. i am proud of you for being honest with yourself and not making excuses.
anyway! on the subject of telling partners about the whole tickling thing… Σ(-᷅_-᷄๑) that’s hard because the two people in my life who know just found out lol. i didnt tell them. my best friend stumbled across a sketchbook that i had drawn tickling art in, and my bf, well… he’s just intuitive.
when it comes to being comfortable with yourself, though, it’s not easy! i would definitely say to always remember, it is really not as weird as you may think. yes, it still is definitely “weird,” but… it’s just tickling. lots of people have weird kinks, even the most vanilla people have their quirks ! it is no biggie. and even for those who just like tickling nonsexually… it’s no different then enjoying back scratches, or having your hair played with.
if you are working up the courage to tell a partner, i say go for it ! especially if you have been with them for a while and trust them a lot. i am at the point with my bf where i feel like i could tell him anything and he would still wholeheartedly love me. i think that if you have a good relationship with someone, they will find such a quirky thing endearing and adorable. it is harmless enough anyways.
and, as always, never feel pressured to tell someone! it is no rush, go at your own pace. but remember tickling is just a unique part of your personality! nothing to be ashamed of, as long as you are respectful and follow consent, of course.
thank you for stopping by and sharing such a personal story ! and thank you for your support ! i wish you well as you continue your journey of self-discovery !! ( ˊᵕˋ )♡.°⑅
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purplecraze · 1 year
Text
Beauty and the Beast AU 32
orange-plane-boy — 11/02/2021 11:41 PM
Narancia rolled up his sleeves, as in the past days he tried to plant the seeds in the fruit they used to cook, to see if he would be able to grew something out of it.
it was a bit of heavy work, but he liked it, also he guessed it would help withthe muscle mass he lost in the past years
purplecraze — 11/02/2021 11:43 PM
hell yeah, time to cultivate both plants and those abs and arms~
probably helps putting your mind off of things too. though look at it from the bright side: at least he's not telling you 'okay, this has gone too far, please leave'.
orange-plane-boy — 11/02/2021 11:47 PM
Ah yes, rejection and abadoment, totally not one of his biggest fears.
But Fugo wasnt angry at him right? Discussions happend, expecially if there are only two people in the house
purplecraze — 11/02/2021 11:49 PM
honestly, it comes down to being a 'no, I love YOU more!💢' kind of spat....
He was basically saying the opposite of that fear, really?
orange-plane-boy — 11/02/2021 11:53 PM
Nara left after an hour, as the sky started to dusk, his hair a bit more messy than the usual and some dirt on his hands and arms.
He looked at the sky, going in his room  and take a bath would be the best option, but he wanted to make sure that Fugo was ok before,
purplecraze — 11/02/2021 11:54 PM
he runs into him coming down the stairs, actually. "oh--" he halted promptly, needing to be careful to not misstep.
orange-plane-boy — 11/02/2021 11:55 PM
"Oh- ehy-" he waved at him a bit awakdly
purplecraze — 11/02/2021 11:57 PM
"uh....hi." his eyes trailed off. "just.....wanted to err-.. see you.. and say goodnight, before nightfall..."
orange-plane-boy — 11/02/2021 11:57 PM
"Me too" he giggled "I was going to see if you were in your room aready"
purplecraze — 11/02/2021 11:58 PM
"hm, I was.... just got back from the dome?"
orange-plane-boy — 11/02/2021 11:58 PM
"Yep! im a bit messy as you can see, moved some plants, fied a bit around, yknow"
purplecraze — 11/03/2021 12:00 AM
he nodded. "be sure to warm up... it's cold out..."
oh good lord, he's fallen to the awkward level of using the weather as topic.
orange-plane-boy — 11/03/2021 12:01 AM
He giggled "Yeah- mh...im gonna go take a bath then..."
purplecraze — 11/03/2021 12:02 AM
"alright. good..... uhm..." still not looking at him. "...sorry from before.... I overreacted...."
orange-plane-boy — 11/03/2021 12:03 AM
"To be honest a bit, haha...But i dont blame you, its all a bit confusing right now"
purplecraze — 11/03/2021 12:04 AM
"........" he nodded again.
"....I'll explain you some other time. it's getting late.."
orange-plane-boy — 11/03/2021 12:05 AM
"Sure" he nodded "Good night Panna"
ugh awkard
purplecraze — 11/03/2021 12:07 AM
Fugo got the feeling Narancia might still be upset about it... but he simply didn't have the time. '....stupid curse... stupid me...' he thought
orange-plane-boy — 11/03/2021 12:09 AM
Narancia got back in his room, taking a bath and making sure to wash all the dirt away.
He decided to sleep for a while and maybe visit fugo if it was still dark when he woked up, after all now he could move in the house as he liked
purplecraze — 11/03/2021 12:10 AM
even on the other side of the castle, fugo sounded exceptionally restless that night.
orange-plane-boy — 11/03/2021 12:12 AM
Indeed some hours later he walked toward the big old wooded door, his nightgown and fugo's jacket on, knocking lighty.
"Ehy Panna! Its me- wanna chat a bit?"
purplecraze — 11/03/2021 12:13 AM
guess he's somehow easier to talk to like this, than when you met on the stairs, huh??
he didn't sound like he was particularly responding to your voice.
orange-plane-boy — 11/03/2021 12:15 AM
look it was awkard ok?? Monster Fugo at least dosent asks you about the weather!
"Nh...You sound upset, you angry because of today?"
purplecraze — 11/03/2021 12:18 AM
if he did, that would be a sight to see;;
it didn't sound so much as aggression. just panicked, in a craze, in pain, and a slight hint of sadness.
orange-plane-boy — 11/03/2021 12:19 AM
"Ehy, ehy- Panna im here" he sighed "Im not angry at you big boy."
purplecraze — 11/03/2021 12:27 AM
tfw boyfriend, but also some weird unruly monster pet. right now, you don't really seem to get through to him yet.
orange-plane-boy — 11/03/2021 12:30 AM
"Nh...Today was a bit messy uh? But i probabily didnt explained myself right, i dont want to leave you, thats not what i meant, its not that someday im gonna leave without telling you..."
purplecraze — 11/03/2021 12:37 AM
there's little telling if that's where the communication went wrong or not. but fugo had said there was something 'he would explain later'. so maybe there was something Nara didn't know about yet.
orange-plane-boy — 11/03/2021 12:39 AM
Even so, Nara keep chatting for a while, probabily Fugo wolunt even rememeber it tomorrow, but it felt right to talk even with this version of him.
"The sun is starting to go up..." he murmed looking at the window
"Im gonna go make some breakfast"
purplecraze — 11/03/2021 12:40 AM
the noise in the room quieted down by sunrise, even though it had gone on for the entire night
orange-plane-boy — 11/03/2021 12:42 AM
Narancia started to cook something, he kinda ran out of ideas, so he just made some toasts and tea, maybe they really needed to check tose old cook books
purplecraze — 11/03/2021 12:43 AM
the plan was to make cookies, so best to leave some space for those anyway.
orange-plane-boy — 11/03/2021 12:43 AM
He got upstair and kocked again at the boy door
"Panna i made breakfast!"
purplecraze — 11/03/2021 12:48 AM
it took some time for there to come any response from the room, buthe could hear a slight stumbling and the door opened a little after. Fugo looked pretty disheveled and his left arm looked weirdly twisted and blue in some spots.
orange-plane-boy — 11/03/2021 12:48 AM
"Oh god...tell me you can fix that with your magic"
purplecraze — 11/03/2021 12:49 AM
"Fix what?.... oh- yeah I can, with some effort. "
orange-plane-boy — 11/03/2021 12:50 AM
"Dude your arm look like a wet spaghetti"
purplecraze — 11/03/2021 12:51 AM
"It's broken. nothing new, I'll fix it after breakfast. "
orange-plane-boy — 11/03/2021 12:52 AM
"Ugh fine- Anyway i made toasts and milk tea"
he said as he started going back to the kitchen
purplecraze — 11/03/2021 12:53 AM
"alright...thanks.." he followed on some distance.
orange-plane-boy — 11/03/2021 12:54 AM
Nara sat at the table and started to eat, he eyed fugo..what the other wanted to tell him last night?
purplecraze — 11/03/2021 12:57 AM
he sat down and thanked him again before eating. he fixed his arm after, the part where he had to set it straight again looked kind of nasty.
orange-plane-boy — 11/03/2021 12:57 AM
"Does it hurt a lot?" he asked worried
purplecraze — 11/03/2021 12:59 AM
he considered the answer for a bit, before responding plainly: "yes."
orange-plane-boy — 11/03/2021 1:00 AM
"Nh...." He sighed "You sounded pretty pissed tonight, its because what i said?"
purplecraze — 11/03/2021 1:01 AM
"...? what you said?"
orange-plane-boy — 11/03/2021 1:02 AM
"No i mean, yesterday, about finding a cure"
purplecraze — 11/03/2021 1:04 AM
"....." seems he doesn't quite know what you're referring to, so he shakes his head.
orange-plane-boy — 11/03/2021 1:05 AM
"Ok..." He grabbed the now empty dishes and started to wash em
"anyway....last night you said you wanted to tell me something
purplecraze — 11/03/2021 1:07 AM
"uh...." he got a bit uptight. "I don't want to start the entire discussion again.... anyway, you didn't say or do anything to upset me, so don't worry about that..."
orange-plane-boy — 11/03/2021 1:08 AM
"Ah..Ok" Gee it was getting even more awkard...
purplecraze — 11/03/2021 1:10 AM
"bottom line is, I want to keep you with me, even if it's not good for you, and it makes me feel bad."
orange-plane-boy — 11/03/2021 1:11 AM
"Mh- You know that the whole point of fiding a cure its to spend more time together right? Its not en excuse im using to ran away"
purplecraze — 11/03/2021 1:13 AM
"I know.... I- I know that, I know you're not like that...... but I can't have that kind of faith once you've left..."
orange-plane-boy — 11/03/2021 1:15 AM
"I care about you Panna" he smiled "And its not that im gonna go away tomorrow, nor the day after! We still have to celebrate chirstmas together!"
purplecraze — 11/03/2021 1:17 AM
he nodded, studying the patterns in the wooden table. "....my parents said they'd come back for me too.. but I knew they were lying.."
orange-plane-boy — 11/03/2021 1:17 AM
"Well i'm not your idiot parents!"
purplecraze — 11/03/2021 1:18 AM
"........." he nodded again, timid.
orange-plane-boy — 11/03/2021 1:20 AM
He sighed "Look...i can handle seeing you just during the day and not touching you, its hard but we both see that we can manage that; but if the idea of me getting sick and you end up breaking bones every night, its nt really the best outcome, thats why i want to find a cure"
purplecraze — 11/03/2021 1:24 AM
"I was breaking bones long before you got here....." he leaned back. "I'll respect any decision you'll make... it's just that I'll most likely throw a large tantrum once you're gone." during the night or daytime.
orange-plane-boy — 11/03/2021 1:27 AM
"Then i will help you patch things up when i will be back" he smiled "Because, if leaving for some months but being able to be back or staying here and dying posioned i think the first option its the better for both"
purplecraze — 11/03/2021 1:28 AM
he nodded. "I know..... but doesn't make it easy.."
orange-plane-boy — 11/03/2021 1:29 AM
"Its not easy for me too Panna..."
purplecraze — 11/03/2021 1:31 AM
"....." he peeked over to him, having some trouble to put faith in those words. but he was glad to hear them.
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melissasnax · 1 year
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finding my inner child (trying too...)
based on the following piece...im trying to find my inner child
From this piece..
"you get good grades in science? great, be a doctor. you're good at math? you should really look at finance. you're good at both? engineering is for you"
See...the thing is i never thought i was actually good at anything. not in high school and definitely not in middle school. In fact, I'd say I was probably trying to be good at all of the things i didn't like to please people. to please my teachers, my peers, my parents. lol I was trying to be good at math when i actually hated math. but also..when i say i hate math i mean i didn't like homework. I couldn't resonate with numbers and math in general. But that doesn't mean I didn't try to be good at it and learn the material. But it was definitely not my favorite subject.
Because I was never told I was good at either of these i never felt strongly tied to anything, especially a career. My interests had always been all over the place as i grew up. As a kid, I loved legos, building blocks, arts and crafts. I loved drawing, scribbling on walls (and the carpet in the apartment my family used to live in). I also loved writing-- even if I was struggling with learning English i remember scribbling letters all over an A4 paper i found at my teachers's desk. I even remember taking art classes as a kid and painting after school.
When I think back to high school, I remember dreading most out of it. I didn't like math, I actually really liked biology, but I was awful at chemistry and physics wasn't my forte. Yeah, the sciences weren't my strong suit. I really liked art though. I loved ceramics, drawing with charcoal..but my parents didn't see a career for that so I was encouraged to go after something to be financially stable. My only class I actually liked was psychology though. I loved those classes. I really liked learning about the brain, the science of how the brain works, behavior, past psych studies, why people think the way they do, how our childhood shapes much of our later life...but i didn't know what i was supposed to do with psychology. like i loved learning about it but i didn't know if i wanted to be a psychologist...? that was the only path i could see back then. And even then, i wasn't sure since I got a fckin 2 on the psych AP test.
Somehow in college, i ended up studying communication. To be honest, I thought about pursuing journalism. I wanted to write about people, learn about their life, who they were, their careers and yeah i guess if i could get paid for it then that was nice too. Fast forward through college..I ended up studying communication but being interested in ux research because i was curious about people. I guess even today still I'm always curious about people and their behavior. Specifically about people and their identities, how their identities and personalities are shaped by the mediums and things they consume, youtuber culture and what brings people to be so vulnerable on the internet and social mediums. But I also loved education and the innovations that happen in the space. specifically how children learn, how our education systems should encourage kids to lean into their curiosities, how education and classroom tools should be more collaborative and exploratory.
So yeah, i guess my interest is education!! But the reason I want to work in it is honestly out of spite for the education system instilled in me lol. What, you expected me to say that I LOVED SCHOOL?? I LOVED CURRICULUM?? Well, to be fair, I didn't hate school. I really like it actually. I liked learning, I just hated grades and because I didn't always get good grades it made me feel like I wasn't good at much of anything. But I do love learning about things even if I'm not good at them. I work in education because I don't want kids to feel like they're not meant for a career because their grades in subjects related to those careers aren't considered "good". I work in education because I want teachers to encourage their students to be curious and always aspire to learn more about the world around them. And I want kids to learn that there are so many careers to explore beyond middle and high school. And finally, i work in education because i want teachers to be more creative in the classroom and teach students to embrace failure. Because if anything, I think i've learned the most from moments and experiences where I've felt like I've "failed".
But also..i love thinking about identity!!! how identity is so malleable and fluid, how susceptible it is to external forces and our environment and people in our life. But also how social mediums and influencers affect our identities too.
Yeah i think those are my two main interests: education and identity. except i'd say my interest in identity is a hobby-- something i like to read about, talk to people about (not work related). I don't know what to do with it because it's something i like to learn about!
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gayemo1234 · 2 years
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i feel like i’ve failed in every category in life. im a horrible sister, a horrible friend, a horrible daughter and a horrible student. it hasn’t been this bad since i got diagnosed 5 years ago… why do i feel like this again. i literally regret being honest with the doctor, i would’ve saved myself the struggle of knowing that these episodes would continue for the rest of my life. i can’t even make myself feel better anymore… like i can’t. i fucking feel miserable at every second of my life. it legit feels like i’m drowning. i try to enjoy things, yk how my therapist said that despite all of this i needed to find something that made me happy… i can’t even do that anymore. i wish i knew how to cope with stuff again, but it’s taking everything in me to not give up. as i sit here writing this i think abt the way things once were. how much has actually happened to me for it to get to this point. i wish i could apologize to iris for everything. from the way i couldn’t have my dad, to not having my mom for the first 13 years of my life, to getting my innocence taken away, to getting bullied for my weight at the age of 8, to losing my dad, to getting once again taken advantage of, to how my step dad started treating me after i grew up, to how i let myself be fooled by men, to how i had to always make new friends bc it always felt like they didn’t like or didn’t take me into consideration for anything, to how i was bullied in high school by stupid boys, to how i fell in love with someone who never respect me enough, to now feeling like my efforts were never enough bc im ending up at a college i don’t want to go, owing money, rejected from a school my mom wanted me accepted into, with the emotional trauma, with no family, and no self esteem. i seriously wish i didn’t feel like this or even have to write this but it somehow helps bc i feel like i can’t tell anyone how bad i feel abt everything. i just wish i hadn’t run out of energy… maybe then i would have the strength to be ok… but i honestly gave up. too much has happened in 2 years that i imagine that no matter how good life gets, it’ll never be enough for me.
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