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levmada · 2 years

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EPIUSODE 83 FREOIFJE

AHHHHH I NEEDED TO TALK ABT THIS ONE IM

it sent me into a levi induced paralysis all of today + i was avoiding social media like the plague so i needed a sec ejhrfir

HOLY SHIT. levi. levi le vi hange levi. let me just

he looks so so sad... or sorry, even, in the last one :(( i imagine he feels so guilty for not taking out zeke and getting injured in the process. UGh😭 GOD BU OKSY LOOK

whoever drew and animated the forest scene needs their dick sucked or their pussy ate fr. im simply reeling. GOD HES SO PRETTY AND I LOVE HIM AND HANGE 😭

ok enough of me being hornie. the fact levi heard them talking also means they heard them settle on the fact that it was 'their turn'. thats all im gonna say but it re-contextualizes some things for me.

tumblr doesnt like it when there are more than 10 images in a post so imma post the sweet lovely stunning screencaps i saved from hange+levi talking with magath and pieck seperately. but. i rly have no complaints at all. Hiroshi Kamiya did a fucking incredible job voice acting for levi.

idc a man like levi admitting that he cant dodge a bullet but also appealed to the 'enemy' in "this sad state" spoke volumes to me. levi hange precious and mappa fed us well

CAN I ALSO HAVE A MOMENT TO HARP ON ERWIN??? THE CRUMBS I ACTUALLY SQUEAKED IT WAS A JUMPSCARE BC I THOUGHT MAPPA WOULD JUST REUSE ASSETS FROM WIT BUT OMMGGGGG

tFUCK HE LOOKS SO GOOD!!!!!

ok actual commentary. when i read the manga for the first time and got to connie's subplot with feeding falco?? i thought isayama really retconned his character ngl - granted i never liked connie as much as everyone else😭 sorry.

then again, connie rly lost his whole entire family - but how would connie's mother have even used the jaw titan to fight back? if he was resigned to the fact that eren was destroying the world other than Eldia, i suppose it'd make sense + connie was very blinded by grief with sasha, and having to see his mother in this state for years. jean made his own mistake by joining up with a jeagerists, resigning to the fact that he couldnt fight back.

i used to think connie was immature and dumb here, but i understand his actions (especially seeing how he doesnt know falco beyond the fact that hes a marleyan + was with gabi, who killed sasha).

that image of connie smiling when he told falco to brush his mother's teeth tho?? cursed. Cursed.

armin's inferiority complex :(((( that he cant size up to erwin :(( poor baby. armin was so brave too - he was genuinely willing to sacrifice his life (and his titan) to save connie's mother so it wouldnt be falco.

tho: even tho falco being just a kid caught up in a bunch of shit has a part in it, i think armin genuinely believed he would be more useful by dying considering all the chaos. fuck

i feel rly bad for mikasa too - imagine loving this person who saved ur life and spent the vast majority of ur life growing up beside... only to hear that he hates you?? and is set on destroying the world?? and that he wanted to throw the gift u have held close to ur heart (literally) for years?? ALL IN ONE DAY?? AND UR OTHER COMRADE IS APPARENTLY JOINING UP WITH THE JAEGERISTS? AND U DONT KNOW WHERE UR LEADERS (levi and hange) ARE IN ALL THIS??

plus manga spoilers in a flashback, but i wont get into that here.

jeez😭 in other news i cant help but rly rly dislike the girl who idolized mikasa sm. i know she saved her in season 1... she rly wanted to follow in her footsteps, but there's such a thing as idolizing someone too much. it's like she was left with no other goal in life but to be mikasa - she wasnt even her own person anymore. it's tragic.

i laughed so hard when onyakopon called the jaygerists 'xenophobic shits' LMAO - even when jean held a gun to his head. and then, when JEAN STOOD UP FOR ONYAKOPON! i forgot a few things from the manga evidently - that part fucking shook me.

also: jean pushing floch out of the way of the Cart - obviously, it was all a part of the escape plan. but floch couldnt know that right after the fact - which makes how 😐😒 he was right after especially shitty. for all he knew jean sacrificed his life - fucking asshole.

this mention of marco made me scream😭ok i couldnt control myself - not even for ship reasons as much as what marco must represent to jean. i fucking love jean's character, the fact that he's grown so so much since being a hotheaded pompous asshole who wanted in with the MP... the fact that he still thinks abt marco just fucking destroys me. i love him.

i couldnt help myself. this part was so funny, but i unironically felt super sad for hitch when annie up and left to join up with the others. idk i took that personally :( im glad annie is becoming more redeemed in this part of the season though - she killed a shit ton of scouts, but just like almost everyone else in aot, her morals are so grey that i love her anyway.

the terror on reiner's face when he saw the 104th😭these people who he felt guilt abt for years and stewed in so much regret mustve been a horrible wake up call lol. but gabi and falco are there!!

when ch126 came out (the one where that panel is from) it was shit on a lot, especially on reddit but i cant remember why✋ so stupid. i love this panel - it's one of those iconic ones - and it rly represents how everyone, enemies and friends, are coming together and resolving to stop the Rumbling, as little power as they may hold.

ive hit my picture limit on this post. HOWEVER - i fucking loved this episode. the pacing was immaculate, and the intro+outro hit so hard, as always. it was a great choice to adapt both 125 and 126 in this episode.

THE TO BE CONTINUED !! i cant wait - ch127 sticks in my mind for a lot of reasons but i wont get into it for spoiler reasons. AHHH IM JUST PSYCHED!

anyway 9.5/10 (.5 for how juicy mappa made levi eeek).

#hey god its me again #aot review #aot season 4 part 2 #aot #aot season 4 #shingeki no kyojin #aot episode 83 #attack on titan #levi ackerman #kane says

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shattersstar · 3 years

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mac pls rant to me about alucard like literally talk about anything relating to him idc he just lives in my mind rent free already and I want to hear ur thots 🥺🥺 and u know how much I love ur writing like only u can make me simp over a character i've never heard about until after reading ur series

in this house we all simp over alucard 😌 but tyy i always have so many thoughts omg like i woke up after four hrs of sleep and this fucking show was the first thing on my mind snksndsk anyway imma talk abt the series bc i feel like it sorta came outta nowhere and i dont wanna bore the masses with my thoughts on character design or like animation style (not yet at least hehehe)

okay first of all the fact sm of u guys r reading this without knowing anything about him or the show or anything is so sweet like y’all really sticking through it for me..i appreciate it endlessly. this ranting might also be kinda helpful and idk i like hearing writers thoughts behind their work so i hope y’all do to

the title comes from farouq jwaydeh i found it on that twitter thread about arabic love poems that went around a few months ago. i actually wasn’t planning on naming the series that but the doc where i was working on each part had the quote “and if the devil was to ever see you, he’d kiss your eyes and repent” in it because i was planning on writing smth for alucard based of that and the more i thought about it, the more i realized how well it worked for the series. its so romantic and so devoted which is the type of relationship i do be writing and it also works within a lot of the religious themes of the show. if i could write that well it lowkey sounds like smth alucard would say akhfsk

and speaking of alucard, ik the fact he has two names might be a bit confusing especially with how i formatted bluebelle (whoops) but the characters name is adrian tepes but he goes by alucard for Reasons i wont spoiler lmao. aches & arches does do a decent job explaining y i choose to call him adrian instead, but in the future if i do write stuff outside this series for him there is definitely a chance he’d be called alucard it just really depends on context. i just think there is something very personal and intimate that the reader is very serious about the fact he isn’t a figure for the masses or only tied to his father. hes his own person who they love and they deserve to be called a name that is their own not a moniker given to them y’know? also the fact i dont think anyone actually calls him adrian in the show makes me sad like noo baby ur so much more than what ur father and Humanity has made u out to be ahaha

idk if i have mentioned this anywhere yet but this is also the first series ive ever written in like my....4? 5? years writing on tumblr (ew i dont wanna think about how long ive been doing this) but thats kind of a big deal. i’m a bit :/ with myself for how much stuff i tried to add to bluebelle because i really didnt think i was gonna write anything else for him so it feels a bit cramped in terms of themes in comparison to the other parts. i feel like it does stick out a little within the series considering some of those themes havent been explored again but ehh i’m complaining about something i can change so whelp. guess it means i gotta write more

although i must admit i’m probably not gonna write a wedding and i’m sorry if u guys wanted one i just...can’t Bring myself to write a christian wedding even tho i’m pretty sure alucard is atheist? or at least not catholic lmao and i would rather write a hindu wedding bc its better (noah fence) and i think the ideas? or meanings around hindu wedding ceremonies make sense for this but i dont wanna be alienating so.yeah. that also feels like i gotta start writing a plot and i would rather Not do that i’m fine with mindlessly fluff for now. idk if anyone can tell but i’m avoiding the whole vampire and human relationship convo bc i havent figured out my thoughts on it and i dont wanna deal. let adrian live in a soft fantasy world with no bad things okay thanks thats all .

#anytime i think about figuring out if he’d turn the reader it gets angsty #and i’m like nah no thanks lets have them lay in bed together instead 😇#mac rambles #ask #writing #adrian tepes x reader

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big-daddy-maddy · 3 years

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my family and i went to go look at christmas lights bc theres a HUGE ASS neighborhood that always goes way over the top and they were like “HEY get in the car” so we did bc we have to and i was sitting in the back with my 11 year old brother and i was asked him if he wanted to hear about the books ive been reading and he was like “yeah sure idc” and i was like cool!! bc my brothers know how happy it makes me when i talk abt books i read and so they humor me (most of the time) so i start talking abt shatter me and how i didnt finish the series bc i got bored of it but its ok bc warnette got together so woohooo thats all i wanted. then my other brother who’s almost 14 starts talking shit or whatever and says something abt how no one wants to listen to me talk abt books and i was like oh ok well i was talking to cody not you and then cody started telling him he was a brat or whatever (yk the usual sibling name calling) and then my dad jumped to the rescue of trey (the 14 yo) saying that we should include him so then i said “well trey started being mean first, cody’s just trying to defend me” and my mom was like “yeah they were perfectly fine until trey started stuff” and so it was this big thing and then eventually it calmed down a bit and cody asked about the other books ive been reading and i told him about six of crows bc i thought he would like that and i started describing kaz and he was like “so hes dark and brooding and misunderstood” and i laughed bc all i told him was that kaz was a 17 yo crime boss who killed people but its ok bc he cant touch people without passing out or vomiting (no the best description of kaz i realize but hes 11 and i thought he’d find it weird). so we laugh bc its funny and my mom says somwthing to my dad abt how we were rubbing it in that trey was being “left out” so i just ignore it and keep talking bc that wasnt what was happening at all i just wanted to talk abt my damn books and cody seemed genuinely interested. then she said to the whole car “why dont we just go home” and i was like why??? and she was like “bc no one is in a good mood and youre leaving your brother out and cody doesnt even want to hear about your stupid books he’s only doing it to get to trey and leave him out and no one cares” so i told her that cody was listening before trey said anything and i just wanted to talk abt them. and then she kept going on about how no one wanted to hear about my books because no one gives a shit and no one cares and no one wants to listen. and then i started crying bc i knew people didnt really care but why was it such a big deal? i never talk about any of my interests with anyone and they are the only ones who i actually feel comfortable talking about this stuff with so why is it such a big deal? i get it no one cares but at least they pretend to, even if they arent listening or i dont make much sense when im talking about them at least im talking. im not in contact with any of my friends rn because my parents took away my phone so i only have my laptop so all i do is sit on tumblr and read books and browse ao3 which sounds amazing and it kind of is but i miss my best friend and driving and hanging out with them and im barely eating bc i dont have an appetite and my meds ran out a while ago so ive been really down lately and i failed my dual enrollment classes bc i just cant seem to do anything (thats why my phone and keys were taken) and i dont blame them for punishing me ik i screwed up but my mom wont look into putting me back into therapy or finding a new psychologist and i just want to be okay again but im isolated and numb but when i try to express an interest in the one thing that makes me feel something i get yelled at and told that no one gives a shit and it just sucks but its okay ill be okay

#personal #sorry for how long this is #run on sentances for days man #if you read this i love you #but probably not lol #i promise my mom isnt mean all the time #idk why she said all that stuff #and then i tried comforting her abt something my dad and brothers said #(she has gestational diabetes and is six and a half months pregnant so she can barely eat any carbs or sugar)#and she acted like we never fough #*fought #n e ways #time to start anoter series to fill the time #ive read shatter me serpent&dove and shadow and bon #bone #what am i even talking abt anymore #whatever #bye bye

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steponmepinkjun · 3 years

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I NEVER FINISHED MY STORY OMG. ok so i left off at being too proud to tell my friend she was right and kpop fucked hard. the difference between u and me is that i’m too good of a liar. too good. i kept up the “i hate kpop it’s cringe” facade for ALMOST TWO WHOLE YEARS, I SHIT YOU NOT. why? bc my dumb ass, extra ass, dramatic ass self thought “ok if i’m gonna have to deal with the embarrassment of admitting i’m wrong, i better do it in such an extra ass way it’ll knock ur socks off so hard that YOULL be the one embarrassed not me.” the original plan was to learn the entire choreography to bts dope, bc it’s the song that she told me to listen to and inevitably the song that got me into them, but later switched to bts fire bc i saw too many of those “choreo matches w any song” videos, and then her birthday party came up. and here’s the real kicker. her birthday is April Motherfuckin Fools. so it would be So Perfect for me to reveal my kpopism as a birthday present And a april fools prank in one. so i was Set on the Reveal being on april 1st, but the day rolls around and god that choreo is so fucking hard and i am Not a dancer. never have been. so i abandon that and go ykno what… i’ll do it Next Year. BC MY BITCHASS WAS LIKE NO THE MOMENT IS TOO PERFECT TO DO IT ON A NORMAL ASS DAY ITS GONNA BE ON APRIL FOOLS ON HER GODDAMN BIRTHDAY OR NOT AT ALL. a year rolls by, i’ve told most of our friends except her and they’re all in on it, i’d made so many subtle kpop references to her without her realising they were fully intentional and had too many scares where she almost figured me out but i lied my way out of it, and i’d given up on showing off with choreography bc i couldn’t make that shit look good. i’m not a dancer. i am, however, a rapper, and a damn good one, so i inhaled the agust d mixtape and decided i’d just rap the eminem of kpop’s anthem at her face. in korean. and change the lyrics at the end (if u haven’t listened to agust d, the bridge repeats “i’m sorry” a lot) to “i’m sorry i kept this from u for so long” and “i’m sorry i actually ult got7 not bts” (this was like the april after skz debuted ok i was holding onto got7 for dear life knowing full well skz we’re going to convert me smh) and the best part? she never saw it coming. her official present was a cd with a bunch of kpop on it but she thought it was just a personalised mixtape for her so i told her to play the first song out loud and she knew the song Instantly. it has a long intro so she was like “i guess u did listen when i recommended u this song!! i knew you’d like it since u like rap so much!!” and then i started rapping and i shit u not. she started SCREAMING. like the initial reaction was her jaw dropping and then instinctively covering her mouth but when i kept going and she realised i wasn’t fucking around she just fucking screamed like a banshee. at the end during the sorry bit i threw off my jacket to reveal a got7 shirt on the inside and she fell off her chair and started rolling around on the floor. needless to say it was every bit as satisfying as i thought it’d be LMAOOOO afterwards her ass was like “I CANT BELIEVE U HID THIS FROM ME FOR OVER A YEAR” and when i tried to explain my ego couldn’t take the “i told u so” she was like “you know i wouldn’t have made fun of you for it right? i would just be glad you’re not hating on my boys anymore” so basically i’m a big dramatic fool and she was always too good for me.

don’t mind the weird spaces here my ipad is being all fucky wucky w me rn. damn sad to hear ur sideblog experience didn’t go so well, i’d have shown u the cool side of the fandom if i knew 😤😤 leading u thru the cursed halls of kpop stan tumblr like a sketchy tour guide that’s actually 3 small raccoons stacked on top of each other like a trench coat, like “over here we have the fanfic writers that honestly need to publish a book, over here we have the gif makers that are responsible for my entire camera roll, if we take a quick swerve past the death threat anons and the twt fanwar screenshots - mind ur feet bub the 14 year olds were tryna make a grab for ur ankles - ah here’s the holy grail of shitposts, you might be here for hours, to the right we have the weird aussie side of the fandom that projects our childhoods onto chanlix but also all the members as we decide what their life in australia would’ve been like, and down there is a secret trapdoor to the blogs w endless random headcanons that will make you laugh, cry or blush depending on if the author woke up and decided to choose violence today. enjoy your Stay!” but then again i’m not so active on tumblr anymore (ngl you’ve become the highlight of my tumblr experience these days, interaction wise,) so maybe all my Local Hotspots are inactive now. i know a bunch of them are, it’s sad. “i don’t fw stan twitter for the same reason i don’t hang out in meth dens” oop. guess i’m a meth addict. no but i get u i rly do, it’s a hellhole out there, but the fact that things get shared and spread a lot easier than on tumblr and how short most things have to be (therefor keeping up w my adhd attention span without having to resort to the mental torture that is tiktok, with the added bonus of not always needing headphones.) that i just. couldn’t leave if i tried. maybe i should try being active on tumblr again but it’s a dying site in comparison.

“their music doesn’t consistently hit for me as much as skz” i’m sorry we can’t be friends anymore. what. what. you don’t dramama ramama ramama hey? you don’t feel a little jealousyyyyyy, naega anin? you don’t shoot out, shoot out, shoot out, or aremdaeun love killa love killa? you can’t be your hero du du du du du du du du du dududu? u disappoint me. literally like everyone i know who likes skz music likes mx music like it’s a rite of Passage. they’re kindred spirits, monsta x music is like skz’s music’s cool but mildly heterosexual older brother. neither of them know what a bad song is it runs in the family. and both their music runs in my VEINS. whenever i describe my music taste they’re always the first two that come to mind, skz being my number 1 bc they are my best boys but mx bc of the Flavour. pls listen to the entire the code album then get back to me 😤🙌 ok but fr ur so right they are 7 of the finest men i ever seen (yes i say 7 bc i’m including wonho cause he deserved better and i’ll die on my ot7 bullshit.) like don’t get me started on them either LOL i LITERALLY downloaded that one insta video of changkyun working out his back n arm muscles w his tattoo showing bc i needed that shit saved for Science. they could do Anything w me like frfr. yes vixx is the bdsm contract group i’m telling ya they wildin. or at least they were. it’s been years since their last comeback idk what they’re doing anymore tbh. and yeah that makes sense, savouring the hyperfixation i feel it, but also i’m so attached to skz that i never let it die. like i hyperfixate on other things and other groups but i will Always go back to skz cause they’re my homeboys. hell, they’re my home. being a predebut stay i’ve spent more time w skz than most of my actual family members at this point. but that’s just me you do u boo xx just know that if ur anything like me ur never letting go once skz it’s been my longest lasting fixation cause they hit like Nothing Else Do. ik i’ve already said that but i cannot stress it enough. they’re really special. i’m gonna stop here before i get all sappy and emotional bc i really love those boys so fucking much and i don’t drop the L bomb often. SIDE NOTE I WOULD LIKE TO SEE UR LIST OF GROUPS RANKED BY THORSt. i need to judge ur Taste. and omg cat&dog is such a guilty pleasure song bc the lyrics make me cringe so much bc while pet play can be fun they be doing it in more of an “i’m an innocent soft dogboy uwu” kinda way that just Does Not Sit Right with me. it comes back to the objectifying of asians that asians themselves don’t help in industries like these and maybe i’m looking too far into it when rly it is just wholesome n cute or maybe they are into some pet play shit idk idc i will bop to the song regardless but i will not acknowledge the lyrics nope.

YOURE RIGHT THO SKZ’S OPENNESS IS IN FACT, A BIG DEAL, i’ll grab them for u if u want but i found these twt threads of skz supporting the lgbt community and i just felt a special kind of happiness man like sure the delusional part of me likes going “haha they’re gay” bc my brain likes to imagine them as my polycule of mlm boyfriends bc sometimes thats what gives me the serotonin to get me thru the day ok don’t judge but also bc it’s nice knowing that yes i’ll never know them personally, but at least i can support them knowing they’d respect my gender identity and my pronouns, they’d respect who i choose to love, and that’s already more than the general public can say so shit, it is special! it’s special that they don’t treat being cishet like the norm - they constantly remove gender from their songs and speech entirely, they don’t assume all stays are female anymore, we don’t talk abt the babygirls incident cause we got babystays in the end outta that ok, and it’s just. so refreshing and important to me bc i can’t get that anywhere else!! like my semi ults are the boyz and while i love them very much and there’s no way all 11 of them are straight i refuse, i do get just a little bit sad whenever they she/her their fandom by default and call them their girlfriends n shit even tho i do still identify as a girl, i’m also genderfluid/nonbinary/transmasc, and i have a very love/hate relationship w my womanhood and rarely use she/her pronouns, cause it’s like, do you not see me? see us? the ones who aren’t cishet women? i mean i know kevin does bc he congratulated a fan who came out as nb but it’s just not the same as the openness we get w skz. like how do i trust cishets i could be supporting them as a queer person when in reality they’d call me a slur. what would i know, behind the screen? so it’s so good that skz go the extra mile to make it a safe space for everyone. this is already long enough i will reply to the second half of that ask in another message… tomorrow cause it’s 1am and i’m tired gn -felix bi anon

I'mma have to start putting these under a readmore so that i don't absolutely make everything who is still following me for some reason go totally fucking insane 😂

NDJDHWJJAHFNAKBSJSBFBHHDBDNAJD YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE FACES I WAS MAKING READING THIS, I WAS FUCKING CACKLING AND GASPING EVERY OTHER SENTENCE SO HARD THAT I SCARED THE CATS NDJWHSHSB the fact that you went "oh you want me to get into kpop? Give me a hot minute, and I'll give you a whole ass private concert for free" biduehsjdbd biiiiiiiiiiitch you're a fucking ICON, I stg I could NEVER 😂 (and not just because I couldn't find a tune if you gave me a printed set of Google maps directions and that I embody the steriotype that white people can't dance, like my sister kept sensing me tiktoks of the whole "dance like a white girl" trend going lmfao look it's you and eventually I was like "sis please this trend has me feeling like being white is a disability and these mothafuckers are being ableist 😭 also I could NEVER be that on beat so yall ain't even doin it right 😭😭😭😭"). Tbh if I told one of my friends (lol what friends, i got jokes) to get into Skz and they showed up at my bday and performed the entirety of I Got It I would simply shower them in money and go "aight everyone else go home, you are no longer needed, you are being laid off, your position has been eliminated, we're downsizing, the company is moving up and you're moving out, you are not qualified for this role any longer, best of luck with future endeavors" 😊

I think part of the reason I can't deal w Twitter is the exact reason I refuse to leave tumblr, in that I've been on tumblr since 2006 and twt since 2008, and tumblr literally has not changed at all, not even a little, whereas going from the early days of twt where there were no corporate sponsorships or ads and you had to manually copy and paste someone's tweet and @ them to retweet it, to how it is now, like 90% ads and showing me shit from the timelines of people I don't even fuckin follow n whatnot, it's just not enjoyable. Idk how anyone finds anything on twt, it confuses and frustrates me because I am old and have not adapted well to technology changing 😂 But arguably, the skz fanbase doesn't want me on skztwt anyways so like it works for both of us lmfaooo. I am old and cringey, and also still think of twt as stream of consciousness whereas tumblr is your teenage bedroom where you can decorate the walls with anything that interests you. I do really love the nonsensical kpoptwt shitposts tho fhshsbdjjss like it is a very specific flavor of mental instability that I enjoy immensely 😂 OH and also I initially misread part of that and thought you were saying you actually irl do meth and I was like 😳 WHAT DO I SAY TO THAT. HOW DO I HANDLE THIS. Like how do I express like "I wasn't being judgy of people who use substances cause I've been there but I was just being insensitive 😳" And then went back and reread it and was like WHEW, IM JUST AN ILLITERATE FOOL 😂😂😂😂 ejeywhdhrhjwbfbdjshdhdhd I spent like an hour bwign like "IS THE REASON WE GET ALONG BECAUSE THEY'RE ON METH???? WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS INFORMATION??????" hrhehshe I am literally a fuckin idiot it's fine

It's not that I don't fw them, it's more like... Okay so like there is no situation in which I am going to skip a skz song if it comes on shuffle. You will not ever catch me NOT in the mood to listen to Sunshine, if God's Menu comes on we are THROWIN the meager amount of booty meat I got hither and thither, I could be in the happiest mood of my life but if Ex comes on I will stop to SOB. And I'm not like that with most music, so mx just falls into the category of "there is a time and place." Idk why but it just doesn't forcibly grab hold of my heart and ass the way skz always does. I really don't WANT my skz fixation to ever end, but I know that eventually it'll stop giving me dopamine bevause my brain is my worst fucking enemy 🙃 like my arcana fixation is to date the longest running hyperfixation I've ever had, going on almost three years, and I used to not be able to spend every single second of every day thinking about Asra, but now... I just feel nothing when I look at arcana stuff. As you can probz tell by the fact that I hardly post arcana anymore 😂 So I know that eventually all my happiness will end, it always does, I can never stay just as obsessed with something as I was for long. I CANT SHARE THE LIST BECAUSE I DONT *HAVE* TASTE YET 😭 I'm basically just compiling a list of any group someone tells me I should look into, ranked by how strong the kitty purred upon googling pics of them 😂 My mom read my ass to FILTH over txt lmfao she was like "they're not that adorable. Maybe your standard for adorableness has gone down with You Know Who still on hiatus 🤔" bfjwhdhd like MOMMAAAAA THE LIBRARY IS CLOSED 😂 she attacks me any time I even hint at stanning other groups, she is a skz purist and stans skz only, unofficial Momma Stay of All Stays keeping me in check lmfao.

I feel like skz really do follow thru on their promise that they're a safe space for stays, it's nice to see that they hold space for anyone and everyone in their fanbase and do it in a really simple and elegant way, I feel. Like they never make it seem like "okay here are the fans and here are the token weirdos that were only recognizing to make a buck off of them" the way a lot of artists make it feel like 😑 like they don't go out of their way to act like it's some revolutionary act to do the bare minimum of not shitting on certain parts of the fandom, if that makes sense. They feel very "yeah, of course we love all our stays, this is a welcoming space for literally anyone, that's how it should be, that should be normal," instead of like "Hi fans we love you 😊 and special shoutout to you ell gee bee tee folk, make sure to buy my rainbow merch after the show!!!" you know? Like, they're the friends who would never make you feel weird or different for some shit, the friends that take the attention off you if something they know ur sensitive about comes up, instead of weirdly snapping at whoever brought the unfomfy thing up which ruins the mood and makes you feel tiwce as bad, yk? They just give off this vibe that they, and the space they create with their music, is just a genuine and chill place to be and hang out and relax and bond. I feel like they'd be the friend group that is so goofy and sweet and silly and accepting and lovely and always makes you feel loved and excited to be alive 🥺 They are all good noodles 🥺🥺🥺

#felix-bi-anon #asksteppie

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throwing-summers-at-the-walls · 4 years

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Hello half valid anon here (i like my nickname 😂). I got through all your fics and they were all great. Right now im just reading a lot of poi fanfics and watch fanvids cause i can't accept that the series is over 😂 --- i know what you mean about fics affecting you negatively. I had this with 13rw (the Show and some fics) everything was so dark and hopeless that i had to stop watching it. I also love to seek out fics where someone is hurt so i can feel my pain through the characters (1)

But i try to read only fics with lots of comfort so it kinda feels like i get comforted as well (dont know if that makes sense). If it makes you uncomfortable or if its unhealthy for you to write about this i completely understand and i dont mean to come of as pushing you to write. I just hope whatever you do will be the right decision for you! As for you feeling suicidal im sorry to hear that. Let me know if there is ever anything i can do to help! I wish i could say sth more comforting but Im not super good with words :( i just hope you have people in your life that support you! 💛

maybe root will grow on you too? Or maybe you can skip her scenes and enjoy John, Harold and most importanly Bear! 😂 Yeah Shaw definately looks really good. She is a bit like Reese minus the caring. At first it seems she doesnt care about anything at all but thats not exactly the Case. There was an episode with Shaw and a little girl (3x5) and i really loved it (have you seen that one?).

I really think Shaw would grow on you (especially since in the beginning she does a lot with John) but then again a lot of her later scenes include Root so im not sure. Yes i love that there were never any romantic undertones with her and John!!

yeah the core four were great. I was so sad when Carter died! :(

i guess everyone sees chemistry different, i think Shoot and Rinch post have great chemistry ☺️

as for John being good with people: YES!! he is always so compassionate and such a great listener as well. I especially like him with children. John and the baby were so cute or John with the boy who offered to pay for him. John + Kids was always a great combination and i wished we would have seen it more often. Also regarding children we did we never got to see a John Taylor scene after Carters death? I needed that!

yes John the badass is also amazing! His character has so many different sides and i love him so much!!

i think Grace Harold was really cute but i dont really see a future for them, i mean he lied to her for so long! but then again they really loved each other so idk maybe they work it out. Im also not into John/Harold/Grace but like you said good for the people who like the ship :)

John and Zoe were great! i wish Zoe would have appeared more often!

I have so many things to say about John and the boring therapist but i think i better not say them :D i wish i could just erase their relationship from my mind!

of course he didnt die! i didnt see a dead body so i refuse to believe he is dead! i also just wanted them to be happy. what kind of an ending is it to let the main character die? i refuse to accept this! -- thank you for the rec i will check it out :) while i do like fluff i mostly read h/c (with the focus on the comfort) cause i just want John to get his much needed comfort :D -- i have no idea where season 1 is supposed to be boring. but idc the people can live with their wrong opinions :D

(today: tumblr user nourann3 discovers the option to indent text after almost 5 years on tumblr...)

Hiii !! It is a very valid nickname 😂 That's nice !! Hmu if you want more recs ! Lol same honestly, I can't believe it's been 4 years since the show ended ! I can give you a link to my poi/Rinch fanvids playlist if you're interested 👀

Oh boi 13rw is so cursed, can't believe I watched all of the 1st season 😬 I remember being afraid of the suicide scene making me uncomfortable but it was so cringe, unrealistic and just bad that I wasn't even that uncomfortable, I cringed when she cut her arms but that's it.

Yeah big mood I project a lot on comfort fics as well. For suicide fics, I think it also depends on how the fics adress the subject. It's something that is complicated to write. If I read a suicide fic with no recovery I'm gonna project but feel like shit. But with recovery, I can project into the recovery as well so it's better ! I read a really good ace attorney fic showing Miles recovering after a suicide attempt, it was thoughtful and didn't fall into the pitfalls of magical super fast recovery/love heals everything, and some lines stuck with me, it was really good and comforting. But yeah if it's just a suicide/suicide attempt then I don't think it's good for me (but sometimes I still read it bc I'm a Dumb Bitch).

Dw you didn't come off as pushing 💜 I'll see how I feel about continuing it or not. I have to figure out if writing about suicide is positive or negative for me 🤔 I mean I'm not portraying John's suicidal crisis as a positive thing, and he reaches out to Harold, and considers he might get better so I don't think it's bad for me ? Another problem is that I have a tendency to drop my wips to write a new shiny idea I get, and then I never finish anything gkgkffjfjf I dropped the suicide fic for the body horror fic which I dropped for the time loop fic, and there's also the hanahaki fic I started last year but I haven't touched in months, plus a bunch of random shit floating around OneDrive lmao someone stop me

What helps the most is venting, just getting that shit out is helping y'know. I appreciate your support ♥️ at least it's not as bad as it used to be

I doubt Root will grow on me, catch me watching her scenes at 1.5 speed lmao, also yes you bet I'll enjoy watching them !!

Yes I remember that ep ! Iirc the little girl tells Shaw she has feelings but the volume is lower than in other people or smth along those lines ?

I hope she'll grow on me bc she seems cool. I remember I was a bit afraid of her just becoming a sort of hollow copy of John, like "look we added another badass to the show". Seems to be more than that though ! Also I'm curious about their mayhem twins dynamic. But yeah if she has a lot of scenes with Root idk how much it'll annoy me

I feel like I wouldn't be able to get the Shoot chemistry bc I'm too biased against Root lol

Ikr the crossing hurt me so much. But thinking about it takes me back to my careese days and my first fics lol. I feel like the death of one of the core four + the abandonment of the library really alienated me from the show (did I already say that before ?). And here I'm gonna shamelessly derail from Carter to the library bc boiii do I have a lot of feelings about the library !! And you're here, talking about poi, so you're the perfect subject to throw these feelings at. This post really says what I feel about it (I'll put the link at the end as well if you wanna read it after you're done with this l o n g reply). It was in a way its own character and its forced abandonment/destruction really hit me (fucked me up when they broke that glass board). It says something that it's one of the few things I remember from S3 along with Carter's death and 4C. I loved it a lot, it was a cornerstone of the show. It was a safe place, a home for Harold and John (and Bear !). I love when they're together in there, I love this cracked glass board, this yellow stained glass in the windows !!! (at least I assume it's stained glass ?), these lights, Bear's cushion, the whole cozy/safe/isolated feelings, just absolutely everything. And yeah later they have the subway, idk when it's introduced I don't remember if it's early enough for me to have watched it. And maybe it's nice, I can't judge rn. But it's like trying to give me a new MC after a MCD, make him as nice as you want I'll be clutching the previous MC until I die. Gkfkfkff I went overboard and off topic but I just love the library ok

Ikr I love how he's badass but also gentle and understanding and nice to people ! I love him !!! Yeah wolf and cub is really good, also I love when John smiles to Darren at the end !! I use this moment as my pfp bc I love it so much. He's just so cute ! I wish he smiled more (did we ever hear him laugh in the entirety of the show ?). Baby blue is so great, Harold and him are such a married couple in this ep ! Yeah same more content with John and children would have been nice.

I never thought about how much we needed a John Taylor scene but yes !! We were robbed :((((

Speaking of John being a cool badass. Here's a badass John vid rec it's super good

youtube

Yeah they were cute in the past. I think it's good he went back to her bc it gives closure to both of them. But I don't see their relationship working again. She grieved, probably started to move on after all these years and knowing he lied all this time probably won't make her want to go back with him. I've never been in love so what do I know lol, but were I her I probably wouldn't want to go back with him and I'd just be happy knowing he's alive after all.

Same I need more Zoe (also she's hot)

Lmao let's just forget about that weird relationship shall we

Aren't we all the same, firmly believing he's alive and happy out there ! It was foreshadowed since the first ep and it made sense but do I care ? No, fuck that shit John is very much alive

You're welcome ! John needs all the comfort and the love !!! I think I have a preference for fluff bc he gets hurt enough in the show lol

Indeed they can, veryyy far away from us

Sry if this is shit I have like half a functioning braincell today

The post abt home bases I mentioned

#half valid anon #look you have your own tag #person of interest #tw suicide #i thought I was done but then i got feelings abt the library

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rawringryu · 7 years

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tEn cHaRaCtErS

I was tagged in this meme by the awesomely rad @francisthegreat whom I’m lucky to have as my friend :) Also I’m sorry this is so late! I didn’t see you tag me until like yesterday, I had exams this week haha. This was very hard to make because I have a LOT of feelings.

Ten characters from ten fandoms:

This list is going in ascending order, meaning my very favorite faves will be last on the list.

10. Bill Cipher (Gravity Falls) First of all on this list is this asshole, gosh I have no idea why but there was a period of time where I absolutely loved Gravity Falls and I shipped with a human form with Dipper mostly because of the amazing art and some pretty complex fics written for the ship. It was a wild ride and honestly thinking about this phase of my life always makes me feel weird, like I liked him purely because I liked reading shippy fics starring him.

9. Pearl (Steven Universe) This one is kinda weird too? Idk man I absolutely love Pearl’s design and the way her character is written. I’m not in loop with the SU fandom because ugh it’s not a happy place to be but I absolutely love browsing art of her. I love how she’s such a broken character for a kids show! I used to read SU meta and they’d go on and on about how she’s a shit character, an asshole towards Amethyst and toxic. But tbh, I feel like she’s just a complex character that made bad choices at times, she’s trying to get better, she’s trying to cope with the loss of Rose someone she probably loved in more ways than one and how she felt Rose chose Greg over her, and now she’s gone. I mean, she just can’t let go and I think that’s very human.

8. Pitch Black (Rise of the Guardians) Alright but this fandom was the first one I’d ever been in once I started out in tumblr. It was very cool and leaves bittersweet memories tbh, I absolutely adored the art and fics this fandom churned out, I used to ship Pitch and Jack Frost. The thing about Pitch is the fact that the fandom practically merged the movie with the lore from the original Guardians of Childhood the movie is based on. In the book, Pitch has such a tragic backstory, his name was Kozmotis Pitchinier and he was the best general of the Golden Army. After capturing all fearlings, he was designated to guard the prison of their imprisonment , he was haunted by their whispers and pleading and his only solace was his daughter, of whom he kept a photograph of in a locket. But one day, sensing his weakness, the prisoners imitated her voice and hypnotized Kozmotis to believe she was being held inside with them. Frantic, he opened the doors to release her, but was instead possessed by ten thousand Fearlings.

Sorry for the long summary but I just want people to know more abt his backstory haha.

7. Loki (MCU) I didn’t really know about Loki until I watched Thor: The Dark World in the cinema and I was instantly in love despite this movie being the absolutely worst of all the MCU movies, which looking back I’d have to agree. Loki is yet another tragic character whom I’m sure everyone already knows about. I think Loki is a vulnerable character who tries to be good, wants to be good but he just can’t, or he tries and other people just won’t accept him. He’s a frost giant and those people are considered monsters, how can he not be bitter that he’s the very thing ha’s been indoctrinated to hate and fear. He is a very complex character that the MCU practically does not do enough justice mostly because he’s portrayed as a villain in the movies. But I wouldn’t consider him a villain, more like an antihero, nobody trusts him and he doesn’t think anybody can love him either. I’ve only read a bit of his comics and I gotta say Loki deserves so much more than what he gets.

6. Dr Strange (MCU) (I’m breaking the one character per fandom rule idc) I know a shit ton of people absolutely HATE Dr Strange, and for a variety of reasons too. They hate him because Benedict Cumberbatch plays him and hating on BC is practically the new edgy on tumblr. People think Dr Strange should have been played by an american asian and all that yada plus the ancient one being whitewashed. While I agree some aspects of Dr Strange is problematic, I think people need to give it more credit, at least watch it for the cool effects that the stupidly huge amount of people worked on. Also as an asian, I can guarantee you most people outside of America doesn’t give two shits about these controversies and movies should be a source of pleasure instead of thinking about all the negative shit only. Dr Strange deserves so much more, he’s an interesting and while he does share some qualities with Tony Stark, he’s his own character with his own issues. Plus his comics are very fun to read, come on, magic in the Marvel is such an awesome concept. Fuck you haters, I just wanna have a good time with the magic man.

5. Sherlcok Holmes (BBC Sherlock) This is also one of my earliest fandoms on tumblr. Sherlock season 4 absolutely ruined it with all the queer baiting and the shitty plot. But Sherlock had always left bittersweet memories for me too. Mostly because of the absolutely amazing and complex fics written for it, I will never understand how fic authors do it but Sherlock fics were amazing and I would gladly choose these fics over canon any time.

4. Asuka Langley Soryuu (Neon Genesis Evangelion) I have so many feelings about this bitch right here, honestly one of the most relate-able characters for me. Asuka is a very human character, she’s very proud and has emotional issues. She was considered the best of the best and was trained to be an Eva pilot since she was four because she’s a child genius. However she has a tragic backstory, her mother underwent some tests and became insane, believing that Asuka's doll was her daughter and refusing to acknowledge the real Asuka, referring to her as "that girl over there." She eventually commits suicide by hanging herself; Asuka found her body when she went to tell her the good news that she had been chosen to become an Eva pilot. She couldn’t let go that Shinji the main character was starting to become a better pilot than her despite training for months only. She suppresses a lot of her emotions and had unhealthy ways of coping. I just want her to be happy.

3. Edward Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood) Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood is what I would consider the holy grail of anime tbh. Edward is just about the most selfless person out there in the fictional world of anime. I love the fact that Ed and Al started their journey off with mildly selfish reasons that is to return their body parts whom they lost to in a deal with Truth to bring back their mom which ultimately failed. In the end, Edward is willing to lose his alchemy, the very things that defines him, that started this whole mess, that is the source of his joy and misery for the sake of gaining his brother’s body back instead of selfishly using the Philosopher’s stone that’s made using human souls. I just want this shorty to be happy and I’m glad he is with that satisfying end.

2. Hitsugaya Toshiro (Bleach) The reason this guy is ranked so high in my list is mostly because, he’s been there for me since I was a smol kid, I’ve had a crush on him ever since I was 10 and I could never let go. He’s the one fictional character whom I still fallback to every time things stagnant, I love reading fics about him, he’s just so cool! He’s a child genius with a sword that can shoot ice dragons. Plus he’s always written in such a complex way in fics, Kubo missed his fucking chance by not expanding more about his character in the manga, but clearly Kubo is incompetent when it comes to plot so whatever I guess.

1. Kylo Ren (Star Wars) The Star Wars fandom or specifically the Kylux subfandom is probably the happiest plave I’ve ever been in since forever. It’s the first time I’ve ever talked to anyone at all online, I only lurked around in other fandoms but Star Wars made me able to brave the fandom and talk to people in it, I’ve met so many amazing people and read amazing fics in it, it’s mostly due to the KRB discord chat that I’m still going strong with this fandom. I absolutely love Kylo Ren and can he please crush me between his thighs. The thing that attracted me to him besides his unconventionally attractive appearance is his emotional vulnerability. Kylo has been neglected by Leia and Han as a kid and sent away to jedi school with Luke, he’s been manipulated by Snoke as a kid and Leia and Han just don’t think they can take care of him properly, they’re afraid of him and always too busy with their work, Kylo wasn’t planned, the way their relationship worked just wasn’t ideal for child rearing, Kylo was left alone with Luke, unable to understand why his parents don’t want him anymore, how he was too emotional for the jedi way. While what Kylo did was not justifiable with all that murdering, it’s not a stretch to say that he was very mush a victim of circumstances too. I related to Kylo a lot as I’d been sort of neglected as a child too, both my parents were always busy with work and I only saw them during mealtimes and before bed.

Sorry for the long post ya’ll! I have so many emotions about fictional characters haha.

I’ll be tagging @magicandmalice , @omega-hux, @tezzypants, @darktenshi17, @comraderevelin, @kylocatastrophe, @dargason-under-the-fantasia, @oblioknowlton, @evilblubber, @plasticpill and @glass-oceans that is if ya’ll want to, I had fun and went super overboard.

#personal #ten characters #meme

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