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ava-does-dumbassery · 11 months

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So, I watched The Mummy (1999) last night, and I thought it was a good movie (inaccurate to ancient Egypt and Egyptology, but still a good movie). But it did remind me of this one story from Greek period ancient Egypt, that’s actually kind of similar to the plot of the movie? So I’m gonna ramble about that for a while now.

This story is called Setne and Naneferkaptah, and it also has a Person Who Is An Expert In Fields Related To The Mummies and Curses™ looking for a magic book that’s protected by curses, and a dead guy from an older time and his girlfriend (wife, in this story) who want to stop them from doing that. The Expert™ in this story is Prince Setne (he’s a magician), who was an actual real guy who existed, he was the son of Ramesses II, and he was used in ancient Egyptian fiction as the protagonist of a few stories, not just this one. The magic book is called the Book of Thoth, it was made by the god Thoth, and there two spells in it that will give you a bunch of cool powers, including being able to talk to animals. The dead guy who’s tomb Setne breaks into is called Naneferkaptah, and he stole the book of Thoth from the original place where it was, but then him, his wife Ahwere, and his son all got killed by the gods because of that, so now the Book of Thoth is in his tomb.

Anyway, the story (well, the surviving parts of it that we have) starts with Setne in the the tomb of Naneferkaptah, with Ahwere telling him the story of how she and Naneferkaptah got married and were really happy, but were then killed after Naneferkaptah stole the Book of Thoth. The place Naneferkaptah steals the Book of Thoth from originally isn’t a tomb, it’s a multilayered box at the bottom of a huge body of water. I guess there are what you could call “traps” around it? There’s just a bunch of bugs. And snakes. Six miles of scorpions and snakes and other reptiles all around the box. Naneferkaptah uses a spell to get past all the bugs and snakes, and then he fights the guardian of the book, which is another snake. He fights it thee times, the first two times it comes back to life, but the third time he cuts it in half and it stays dead.

Setne demands they give him the book after Ahwere finishes telling him that story, and Naneferkaptah is like, “Dude, my wife just told you how taking this book is a super bad idea, why do you still want it?” But Setne is doing that protagonist thing where just hearing the story within a story isn’t enough to get him to learn the moral, and bad things have to happen to him in order for him to learn it, so he plays board games with Naneferkaptah to try and win the book from him. Setne keeps losing, and every time he loses Naneferkaptah hits him the head with the board they’re using, which makes him sink deeper and deeper into the sand he’s standing on. This keeps happening until Setne is about to suffocate in the sand, at which point he just cheats and steals the book from Naneferkaptah with magic.

Then there’s this fakeout sequence, where Setne gets so horny for a woman that he’s willing to orders all his children to be killed in order to sleep with her, but at the last moment it turns out the woman wasn’t real, Setne’s kids are fine, it didn’t actually happen and Setne’s just naked and embarrassed now. Having learned an important lesson about the destructive nature of greed, Setne returns the book to Naneferkaptah. Setne also finds the bodies of Ahwere and her son (they were buried in a seperate tomb) and moves them to Naneferkaptah‘s tomb, so they can be dead and in love together for the rest of time.

So anyway, if you ever wondered about what ancient Egyptian stories about tomb robbing cursed texts were like, now you know.

#Ancient egypt #the mummy #the mummy 1999 #Setne and Naneferkaptah #I think I like Setne and Naneferkaptah a little better honestly #Just cause I really like that the two dead in love people get to be happy together and the end of it #Also hot take but The Mummy would be a better movie if instead of stealing organs the mummy hit people on the head with board games /j #I think it’s pretty cool how old some of these tropes are #Like the themes about greed and desire being destructive are in this type of story in the Ptolemiac period and they’re in it in 1999 too #Also I like that in both ancient times and 1999 people asked the question ‘what unpleasant things would there be around some cursed books?’#And both times we answered that questions with ‘Bugs. There would be so many goddamn bugs.’#ava has thoughts #ancient egypt stuff

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chasing-givenchy · 2 years

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also the problem with introducing competent and entertaining villains midway through a series is like…….. how am i supposed to root for the heroes after this? literally how am i supposed to listen to their plans for taking down their captors and nod and think “yes, if the villains were uglier/stupider/more boring/less capable of taking over my life i would be cheering on these heroes the whole way there”?????

#i am specifically thinking of that one episode of wolf 359 where maxwell is unconscious and it’s either trust jacobi or do liquid nitrogen #but also i distinctly remember watching the mummy (1999) feeling bad for imhotep but with my loyalties firmly with ardeth bae and friends #and then the mummy returns introduced meela and she is the textbook ‘villains act and heroes react’ and her act was just SO GOOD #singlehandedly she drove tbe conflict of the whole goddamn movie #how am i supposed to root for anyone else after this??? hello???#miro says #villain appreciation #the mummy #wolf 359

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siennahrobek · 2 years

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It’s hilarious how some people hate Obi-Wan’s show. It looks terrible or cheap, or everything is convenient, or nothing makes sense or so much is retconned. I just think it’s really funny much energy people put into hating something.

#now don’t get me wrong #i don’t think it’s awful nor absolutely amazing #I like and dislike certain aspects and parts #like I love love Leia #not even gonna lie #but I woulda been cool with lower stakes honestly h #I think Disney thought since it’s Obi-Wan that they had to go bigger #cause he’s such a bigger part of the overall Skywalker story than most other characters #but still #y’all got so much energy to burn on hating or disliking stuff #where do you get it?#can I borrow some of that energy?#(not to hate stuff just in general) cause I’m tired #anyways people complain about the show looking cheap #honestly I think it’s fine looking #although granted some of my favorite movies are the mummy (1999)#which does not have amazing cgi lol #so I might just be chill on that front #also lots of retcon stuff #or at least people think so #(although I feel like I could explain most of which people think might be retconned)#I’m just pretty good at coming up with logical ish ways things would make sense #anyways #yeah just a thing #I find this all pretty funny tho #but it’s Star Wars #there’s always gonna be a lot of dislike and complaining #about everything #less people say stuff about the originals simply cause of nostalgia lol #obi-wan kenobi

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naiive-and-starry-eyed · 2 years

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The Mummy (1999) made me think I was straight cause I wanted to date Imoteph but it turns out I'm aroace and I just think villains and mummies are so sexy lmao

#anak-su-namun can also get it to be clear tho #everyone in that movie is so date able so i blame everyone for me thinking i was straight #the mummy #iconique movie #every movie every since wishes it could be the mummy 1999 but they never can be

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bodhrancomedy · 2 years

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I think I’d be an asset to the world of The Mummy (1999)

(Hey, I was also born in 1999!)

#deaf #tiktok #funny #the mummy #the mummy 1999 #brendan fraser #Deaf

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ichooseviolence · 8 months

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If they make a Dunk & Egg show, I think it would be neat if it had a 1980's or 1990's flare and style to it. Everything from cinematography, costumes, settings, lighting, and decor. Practical effects??? I miss those, too. (And also, I want to bring the grainy aesthetic back..) D&E is such a unique story within ASoIaF, I think it would be neat if we got something different than HotD and GoT. I'm tired of the dim lighting and lack of flare, and imo, it wouldn't fit the story of D&E, which is an adventure and mostly optimistic.

The 80s: gives off a magical vibe, natural color palletes, beautifully flashy costumes. Editing was much better than it is today. There's too much overediting in films today (American films at least), and the end result is a choppy story. Jacki Chan once touched on this himself. The use of practical effects. Sometimes, practical effects are more magical than CGI.

Excalibur (1981)

Dragonslayer (1981)

The NeverEnding Story (1984)

The 90s: *STUNNINGLY SOFT VISUALS*, the lighting is a little brighter, slightly less grainy than the 80s, excellent cinematography (wide shots are *chefs kiss*), there was a healthy mix of CGI and practical effects, the optimism in story-telling, has a romantic style to it.

Jurassic Park (1993)

The Mummy (1999)

I think I'd opt for a 90s film style for D&E. Soft, romantic, and adventurous with a certain irony in the humor.

#dunk and egg #i had more to say but i can't remember what

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mamamittens · 6 months

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Piece by Piece, You'll Come Back to Me

Part 9/13 of Spooktober 2023

@sunken-diver

Zoro X Reader (GN pronouns but Masc, so they are called brother)

Warnings: Kidnapping, yandere/possessive behavior, offscreen murder, and talk of corpses. Also this is inspired by the 1999 The Mummy movie, but it's pretty chopped up and loose at best. I was not writing a scene for scene rewrite lol

Word Count: 2,024

Luffy often dragged you into trouble. It seemed to be his job as an older brother. But he’d never managed to drag you all the way to a previously undiscovered section of ruins in the Egyptian desert alongside a book rumored to bring the dead back to life.

No, that was not something he’d ever managed before. Which is a little impressive if you were being honest. You’d lived in Egypt as an archeologist for several years now, Luffy naturally following and making fast friends on his own, so you feel this scenario was a tad inevitable. Robin thought so, at least, judging by her amused expression as she helped you climb onto a camel for travel to the sight. The last leg of the journey after a frankly disastrous accident on the river.

One that almost led to you being kidnapped but that was something to consider later. When you weren’t suffering under the scorching hot sun and intimately reminded that the library you were working at was perfectly climate controlled to preserve the many ancient works housed there.

Luffy laughed, punching Sanji’s arm as he saddled up.

“Ahah! Welp! That was an interesting ride, wasn’t it brother?” Luffy addressed you and you couldn’t help but smile.

“To be honest, Luffy, I really hope that’s the most exciting part of this trip.”

It was not the most exciting part of the trip.

In your defense, you’ve never liked alcohol. Let alone cheap wine. Couldn’t carry it if you had a bucket with instructions on the ergonomic handle.

Flush with the discovery of a sealed tomb belonging to a deliberately forgotten priest, you gleefully cracked open the Black Book of the Dead to see if your top-notch skills in ancient Egyptian glyphs was up to snuff. Pushing up your glasses before they fell off your nose as you did so. The heavy book almost winded you when you lifted it up to your chest, unlocking it with the puzzle box medallion to rest more comfortably on your lap.

Now, you’d read cursed scripts before. Usually promising an afterlife of discomfort and darkness or a life of having your ass bitten by fleas. Most unpleasant stuff. And you sort of expected this book to be no exception. Maybe some lines about being haunted by the inhabitants of the tomb that the book was resting in previously. Or the gods themselves cursing you.

What you instead found was a passage about the disavowed priest.

“—and he, o’ deceitful priest of the pharaoh, will be cursed to walk the earth for his greed. Banned from true rest, that foul, lustful man. Roronoa Zoro. Imprisoned forever more.”

Even more than a little tipsy you couldn’t help but frown. Luffy looking at you with his nose wrinkled.

“The hell did he do to deserve that?” Luffy muttered. You shrugged.

“Maybe he tried to sleep with the pharaoh’s wife?” You offered, personally a little doubtful you’d get a clear answer without scouring the entire complex maze buried under the earth. And maybe not even then.

That was when you heard it. Thundering hooves on the sand towards you campsite. Luffy jumped to his feet in alarm, the people further out firing at the intruders.

“Go! Hide in the tomb—I’ll come find you!” Luffy ordered, clenching his fists. “And take the book—they must be after it if they followed us all this way.”

Remarkably less tipsy than a moment ago, you closed the book and held it to your chest, running into the underground maze. Torches lighting your path as you instinctively ran towards the sealed sarcophagus of the priest. It was the furthest room you could think of and any locals so terribly interested in the Black Book would be wary of going in that far.

Only to find it empty. Totally and completely empty. Heavy stone lid on the floor and corpses of scarabs crushed at the bottom.

Obviously, someone stole the corpse but why?! Why now?! It had only been found hours ago! And it would have taken considerable strength to remove the lid—

There was a shuffle behind you and you whirled around in fright.

In the flickering torchlight, there stood a corpse. Withered and sickly gray, soiled bandages dragging as it stepped cautiously towards you. The smell of death thick in the stale air.

When you had turned around, it froze. Almost taken as taken aback as you were.

Something whispered in the air, a mumbled, breathless call.

And then the room was awash in golden light. Your clothes, modest pants and open shirt, traded for flowing silk draped over your shoulders and waist. The weight of a wig on your head with gold clicking at the end of the locks.

And before you?

A man. Tall and broad with golden skin. Green hair clipped short with modest robes bundled around his waist. Dark eyes fixed on you with a longing that made you breathless.

“After all this time… You find your way back to me. That foolish man could never hope to keep us apart.” He declared, his voice deep and resonating in the air with an almost doubled quality. English and ancient Egyptian laced together. He stepped forward as though you would bolt at the first chance. “Do you recognize me as I do you?”

You shook your head as he stepped closer still. The heat from his body washing over you as he reached out. Lifting up your face to look at him.

“I-I know your name… I think. But we’ve never met.” You confessed softly. He smiled indulgently. “Priest Roronoa Zoro… I think you may have me mistaken for someone else.” You informed him, flushed at the intimate caress of his calloused hands on your face.

He chuckled, the sound rushing over your face pleasantly.

“There is no mistake. It is not just your body that I know intimately well… but your soul. It calls to me still.” Zoro remarked, breathing against your lips like he’d die again if he had to pull away. Almost kissing you with every word. “And with my power we can finally be one. Memories can come later… for now, I just want you—”

“GET THE HELL AWAY FROM THEM!” Sanji screamed and the illusion shattered.

Cold, withered hands held your face gently. Rot and decay filling your nose as the corpse of a man thousands of years dead nearly kissed you. He whipped around with a snarl only to receive a boot to his face. Sending him to the ground as Sanji grabbed your arm and pulled you out of the room.

“W-What the hell…?” You gasped, glancing behind you to see Zoro standing defiantly in front of his sarcophagus. Black Book in his arms.

For very obvious reasons, you could not stay there. Choosing instead to run back to the capital city.

Chopper was nowhere to be found, but Sanji assumed he made it out alright.

“He’s pretty good at finding his own way out of things, to be honest. After all, we were both in the same place but I was the only one that got arrested.” Sanji offered with a smile. “Now rest up. We’re going to have a full day tomorrow trying to figure out how to put that bastard back in the dirt.”

Ah right. The end of the world by the hands of a vengeful, resurrected priest.

Sweet dreams?

If only. Though it certainly seemed so at first once you’d settled into bed. A long few days of running across the desert with rumors of plagues and mysterious deaths in your wake left you feeling exhausted. You set your glasses on the bedside table and sighed, glad for the modern convenience of a proper bed again.

It started with the sound of falling sand. A gentle, sort of grinding sound. Too far gone to move but not enough to block out the sound with deep sleep, you huffed, burying your face in the pillow. The sound growing louder until you could almost feel the heavy weight of sleep lift off of you.

And then it stopped. And it was just you and the sound of rustling sheets in the dark room. And you drifted back to sleep.

Your name sighed into the still night air with a warm touch on your bare shoulder.

You weren’t sure what you dreamed of. A confusing, tumbled mess of sensations.

There was screaming. Firm, warm arms holding you close.

Harsh, sneered Egyptian curses.

Furious buzzing of locusts that nearly woke you. Your mumbled protests hushed with a soft kiss to your ear.

“Sleep. You’re safe here.”

Daybreak cast long curtains of warmth over you from an open window.

You shakily rose out of a criminally nice bed, bleary and half awake feeling like you’d slept for a week. Overly large shirt draped over one shoulder, the other bared. Definitely not yours, or Luffy’s for that matter. You fumbled around for your glasses carefully, not wanting to send them flying and need to search for them first thing in the morning.

“Ah!” There was a soft click of hooves. “Here. He’ll be glad to know you’re awake!” You accepted your glasses, recognizing the brown and pink smear as Chopper. His earnest expression looking up at you nervously.

“Chopper? Where am I? Where’s the others?” You asked, looking around the startlingly traditional Egyptian architecture. Smooth white walls and open windows with silk curtains billowing. Not any room you’d ever been in before, that’s for sure.

Chopper laughed nervously.

“W-Well, they’re somewhere, I’m sure. S-Safe! They are safe! I know that much. Z-Zoro wanted to ask before doing anything drastic. He’s been waiting for you for a long time, you know.” You frowned.

“Zoro? T-The mummified priest?” You grimaced.

“Well, to be fair, he’s not mummified anymore! Took some sacrifices but he looks much better now, I swear!” Chopper defended.

“Look, Chopper, I know he thinks I’m… well, someone, but he’s got to be mistaken!” You protested but Chopper just shrugged.

“He’s a pretty real priest, you know. If he says your soul is one he knows, I believe it.”

“It is. Though I don’t blame you for not remembering. Souls are meant to leave their past behind.” A deep voice called out. You whirled around and saw him standing there, just like the illusion.

Though he wore simple cotton pants now, his bared chest was that familiar golden tan. A deep scar ripping across his chest. Gold dangling from his ear as he smiled, striding towards you.

“W-What do you want?” You stammered, nearly falling back on the bed as Chopper scurried out of the room.

“This. This is all I ever wanted… you don’t remember, but in the past, we knew each other. You, the cherished son of the pharaoh. I… I was too eager to have you. If I had just waited a little longer, we could have been lovers without interference. But I was brash and the pharaoh was not pleased.” Zoro smiled helplessly. “Trying to kill him probably didn’t help my case, either. He already couldn’t stand the thought of you having suitors. Ah, but now? Now he’s long gone. And we’re free to be together.”

“…Is that really all you want? What about the plagues and the curses?!” You asked, still freaking out a little as Zoro pulled you close to him.

“I intend to rule, obviously. And who could stop me now? But above all else, I wish to have you by my side for eternity. As we were meant to be.”

You swallowed hard.

“And… if I said no? That I didn’t want that?” Zoro smiled, almost indulgently.

“Eternity is a long time to say ‘no’.” Zoro pressed his lips to yours and your heart fluttered despite itself. His eyes still staring deep into yours. “I’ve waited for thousands of years just to see you again. I can wait thousands more for you to want me.”

He wrapped his arms around you, pressing your face to his shoulder as he sighed into your ear.

“One day, you’ll wonder why you ever thought to say no.”

#one piece #spooktober 2023 #zoro X reader

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vintagegeekculture · 1 year

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How would you go about rebooting/modernizing "Flash Gordon" in a way that minimizes and/or mitigates the yellow peril in its DNA (e.g., Ming) but still keeps it recognizable and palatable to the fans? I always thought it'd be interesting to race-flip it, especially if one were to base Flash on someone like indigenous athlete and Olympian Jim Thorpe.

You know, when I heard about the Sex Archie show, at first, I thought it was a joke trailer from College Humor or something. But now, thinking it over, I realize it was absolutely genius.

The Riverdale approach (grounding something in sexuality) may not necessarily work for everything, but it would absolutely work for Flash Gordon specifically, because Flash Gordon always very much had in its DNA a kind of European sexuality mingled with experimental art direction, something like Barbarella or Heavy Metal comics. The comics always had whipping scenes, dungeons, seraglios, seductions, hypnotic compulsions into service, and arch enemies who pin their foe by pressing their wrists against a wall. It's very interesting to compare it to the far more non-sexual Star Wars movies that it supposedly inspired. If you do an adult version - emphasis on the adult - something like Game of Thrones but pushes it even further, it would absolutely work. Flash Gordon is not an antihero (he's more an audience identification POV character like Ned Stark who is a stand in for the moral values of the audience), but the planet Mongo is surrounded by antiheroes. Are you telling me that Prince Barin, if push came to shove, couldn't kill in cold blood?

The best possible person to helm a reboot of Flash Gordon would be a cokehead lunatic Italian who threatens his actors by pulling out a knife on set while yelling gibberish. You know, the kind of guy who directs all my favorite movies. I'm reminded of the very fascinating costumes and designs that Heavy Metal artist (and lunatic Italian, what a plus!) Milo Manara did for an aborted remake of Barbarella starring Drew Barrymore in the mid-2000s.

A project that absolutely captures the spirit of what I am talking about is Taika Waikiki's Thor: Ragnarok, which merely flirted with 80s Heavy Metal themes and suggested debauchery within the constraints of its' rating.

Or better yet, Steven Sommers, director of the Mummy (you know, the good one from 1999) would do something amazing with this material. The target audience for a Flash Gordon revival would be the people who share memes that say "my sexual orientation is the cast of the Mummy"). God, Tumblr would crack in half and get a new favorite show, which is why it amazes me that they haven't added Tigra to the Marvel movies yet. Incidentally, I think the Masters of the Universe who create our culture are absolutely sleeping on how absolutely essential that movie is to the generation that grew up around the turn of the 20th century (much like how Gen Z views Polar Express as a classic for some reason).

Hey...Lady Gaga loves to act, doesn't she? You know, I bet she would understand this material immediately, and I'm not just saying that because I'm a huge fan. I mean, she already dresses like she came from Ming's Throne Room. She loves art direction and burlesque. She's also of Italian origin (hey, it doesn't hurt). I'm not sure if she's ever read Heavy Metal (I doubt it, as she's not a pot dealer older brother who listens to Primus) but I think she'd get it, because she doesn't think pop "low" culture is a dirty word. Regular people who would sleep on yet another Flash Gordon revival would watch if she was in it somehow, or involved in production.

#flash gordon

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schnoobums · 1 year

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Could you please go into details as to how touch is Jonathan's love language? 👀💙

+ Same anon - I didn't want to imply anything lewd, physical touch as a love language firs him very well (that and snark as his other love language) and I'd love to see you elaborate on it!

Hehe of course I can. Thanks for asking!

We’ve got some great examples of Jonathan using physical touch as either an expression of admiration, companionship, or affection.

Take the first time we see Jonathan and Evy interact in The Mummy (1999) - when she’s feeling down, the first thing he does is console her and he does this through physical touch (also words of affirmation, which I believe is his second love language, though you’re spot-on with snarkiness.)

Wow, who made these gifs? They’re so good. [x]

He even holds onto Evy’s arm when they visit the prison where Rick is being held. Yes, it can be that he’s afraid of being there (especially since he stole from Rick) but it’s also a way for him to protect his sister; being able to tug her away if there’s any danger and also in case she feels afraid as well.

Then, when he first interacts with Rick outside the prison, he gives him a warm handshake and pats him on the chest as if they’re already good friends. They hardly know anything about each other at this point, but Jonathan makes the effort to be as friendly as possible (that’s also probably due to his British charm but I digress.) This interaction also acts as “I apologize about before but I promise I’m pretty decent once you get to know me” without saying the words directly.

Now, what about in a romantic sense? Take the first time we see him in The Mummy Returns (2001) - he’s walking with Sheila down the hallway, an arm wrapped around her side and holding her close to him. Yeah, he’s feeling great right now but the option to simply walk beside her is right there and he opts for sticking as close to her as possible instead.

I’m going to take this brief moment to say that he’s a huge gentleman since this is most likely after ~things have gone down~ and he’s walking her out, either to her car or to drive her back to her place (as discreetly as possible.) I just think that’s neat. He keeps up a conversation with her and keeps up the physical touch as well.

Of course, we have all the sweet moments with him and Alex; a hand on the shoulder, wrapped up in a hug, leading the other by the arm, hand holding, etc. Their relationship is so adorable. [x]

Also, he grabs a hold of people in an effort to protect them. Even if he can’t do it very well, he certainly tries (I’d screencap those moments but it’s always mid-sprint so the picture comes out super blurry.)

He also gains comfort through physical touch. Since he’s been through a lot of high stakes, a friendly pat on the back or arm, or even getting pulled away from danger (Rick yeets him so much, it’s so funny) gives him the assurance that 1. he’s not alone & 2. there’s someone there to help him.

I think Jonathan is one of those people who think that when words fail, actions speak louder. So, he shows his love for people (whether platonic or romantic) through physical touch; something that says that he cares without uttering the words himself.

That’s just my opinion, though!

#inbox for schnoobums #anon messages #the mummy #jonathan carnahan #he's so lovely and so caring #one hug from him would cure my mental illness #(i say that after i wrote out an entire reason as to why i believe physical touch is his love language)#there's most likely more i could say but alas i have the attention span of a fly and have decided to eat lunch instead #hope this made sense!

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kenobihater · 1 month

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disclaimer: these are not identical, the rest of these tracks don't bear much similarity, and they are obviously taken out of context. here is the mummy track, and here is the omashu track if you want to listen to them in full. i'm admittedly ignorant of non-western musical traditions - this could be a common motif, or the two composers could be pulling from the same source of inspiration - but it certainly is interesting that the only bit of the natla soundtrack that has stood out to me so far is the part that just so happens to sound like a jerry goldsmith OST 😐

#i'm frankly weirded out by this a bit #and inb4 anyone gets on my case: i think intellectual property laws r dumb and benefit fat cats but that doesn't mean possible plagarism in #a big budget tv show that is supposed to be artistically unique and a loving homage is anything other than utterly lazy #the mummy #the mummy 1999 #anti natla #natla critical #anti netfix avatar #netflix avatar critical #<- so far i don't hate the show or anything ig? this is mostly for blacklisting purposes #like dgmw - i'm not impressed with it - but to me hatred implies you feel a strong emotional reaction to smthn. i mostly just feel bored 💀#len speaks #len's videos #also for the love of GOD don't go bugging the composer abt this. i might listen to the rest of the OST to look for similarities but i'm #truly hoping this is just a one-off coincidence. i'm inclined to give ppl the benefit of the doubt yk?

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fluentmoviequoter · 6 months

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Mummies

Monster Monday, October 23, 2023

Fic-tober Masterlist

Summary: When you discover there is no toilet paper in the dorm, you don't expect it to be the beginning of a mummy uprising.

Warnings: dialogue from and vague spoilers for The Mummy (1999), fluff, teasing, yet another confession fic, Professor Armagan gets a warning but I'm not saying why, a paintball gun?. 1.1k+ words.

A/N: This fic is all over the place and I don't actually remember writing parts of it but I kind of like it, which is unusual. I hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think! :)

Does your bathroom have toilet paper?

It’s a weird text to wake up to, and if it were from anyone else, Dalton would have ignored it. After clicking your contact, the phone rings twice before you answer.

“Hey. Did I wake you?” you answer, your voice slightly raspy from sleeping.

“No,” Dalton lies. “You piqued my curiosity though. I’m assuming your bathroom doesn’t have toilet paper?”

“No, it doesn’t.” Dalton hears rustling sounds like you’re getting ready. “Chris is on the floor above you and apparently they don’t have any either.”

Dalton hums as he rolls out of bed and pulls on a sweatshirt. You ask him what he’s doing today, and he tells you all the mundane details on his way to the bathroom.

“But my afternoon’s free. And to answer your question, no, we don’t have toilet paper either.”

“Budget cuts or prank? Considering the month, I’m going with prank,” you respond lightly.

“I agree. Are we walking to class together?”

“If you want. You know you don’t have to, though.”

“I want to. I’ll be there in ten.”

“Thanks, Dalton. See you then.”

Ten minutes later, Dalton knocks on your door and smiles when you open it, looking as beautiful as ever. He tries to take your backpack, pouting when you refuse. As Dalton opens the door to walk out of the dorm building, his eyes on you, you stop and stare outside. Dalton steps toward you and turns to look, laughing as he takes in the view.

“We found the toilet paper,” you say.

“Well, if it ain’t my little buddy Beni. I think I’ll kill you,” one of the toilet paper mummies yells.

“Think of my children,” another responds.

“You don’t have any children.”

“Someday I might.”

Dalton rolls his eyes and wraps his arms around your shoulder, pulling you tight to his side as he turns onto the sidewalk and walks toward your class. There are people wrapped in toilet paper strolling on every sidewalk, some minding their own business and others jumping out to scare other students. When you pass the center quad, you see the fountain has also been TP’d.

“Any chance they all get expelled, and we finish the year in peace?” Dalton asks.

You laugh and shake your head, glancing up at him. “Nasty little fellows such as them always get their comeuppance.”

“Really, you too?”

“You can be Winston if you want.”

“’Here I come, ladies?’ No, thanks. I’d rather be Rick, since you seem to be Evelyn.”

You shake your head and continue walking. Around the corner from the art building, someone jumps out in front of you and yells, their arms crossed, acting like they just came out of a sarcophagus. Dalton’s arm tightens around your shoulders as you turn against him, pressing your face against his chest.

“Take your insult of fayum mummy portraits elsewhere,” Professor Armagan yells from the stairs leading to the art building. “Before you find yourself wishing you were in the afterlife.”

The offending mummy ducks his head and jogs past you, heading toward a crowd of them down the sidewalk. Dalton smiles at you as you turn to face Professor Armagan.

“Thank you,” you tell her. “Yet another reason you’re my favorite professor.”

Professor Armagan nods and says, “As you are my favorite student. Though I do not see your face in art classes near enough.”

You chuckle as Dalton makes an offended sound before asking, “I’m not your favorite?”

“You’re dating my favorite. Isn’t that enough?” Professor Armagan teases before walking inside.

“I didn’t tell her we were dating,” Dalton says as soon as she’s gone.

You look down at your feet before tilting your head to look at him. You say, “Maybe she just sees what we’re too scared to.”

“If you jump out of that bush I will shove you into a cursed tomb,” Dalton threatens when he hears movement behind him.

“Sorry, man.”

You bite your lip to refrain from laughing at the interruption during what could have been a big moment. Dalton sighs and runs a hand through his hair.

“You’re right. I’ve known for a long time.”

“I have too.”

Dalton places his hands on either side of your neck, his thumbs brushing your jaw. “What do you want to do about it?”

“I like the idea of you dating Professor Armagan’s favorite student,” you respond lowly, grabbing Dalton’s jacket as you step closer.

“Guys!” someone yells, breaking the moment again. You look over and see Chris as she says, “You have to join me.”

Dalton turns and immediately closes his eyes as he shakes his head. Chris is wrapped in toilet paper up to her neck, several pieces dragging the ground behind her.

“Seriously, Chris? You too?” Dalton asks exasperatedly.

She looks between you and Dalton before asking, “Am I interrupting something?”

“Yes,” Dalton says as you ask, “Why?”

“It’s fun,” Chris answers, shrugging. “What am I interrupting?”

“No mummies near the art building!” Professor Armagan shouts from inside.

You and Dalton laugh as you stare pointedly at Chris.

“Bye.” Dalton waves as Chris walks backward.

“Call me,” she tells you, pointing between you and Dalton. “I need every detail.”

“Not until you lose the toilet paper!”

Chris rolls her eyes as she turns and joins a group of similarly wrapped mummies. You shake your head and laugh at her again, turning to face Dalton again.

“I don’t think this is the place to have this conversation,” you whisper.

“Evelyn and Rick were in an ancient tomb.”

“They weren’t surrounded by stupid college kids wrapped in toilet paper.”

Someone runs toward the art building before falling backward, a large black spot staining their mummy wrappings. You turn, leaning against Dalton’s chest, to see Professor Armagan lowering a paintball gun.

“Professor Armagan, you get more amazing every time I see you,” you say.

She looks at you and smiles before she drops her smile to look at Dalton. “Do something before you lose the chance. I’ll hold them off.”

Dalton’s hands raise to your waist and turn you toward him, capturing your lips in a kiss that says more than any words ever could. You grab his jacket, unzipped at the top, and pull yourself closer as you move your lips against his. The paintball gun pops again, and you smile against Dalton’s lips. Dalton pulls back first, leaning his forehead against yours.

“Finally,” Professor Armagan sighs behind you before shooting another mummy.

“That was way better than Rick and Evelyn,” you say, smiling at Dalton.

“And Chris will hear all about it?”

“No way. She could have given me a heads up about the toilet paper situation. She’ll be lucky if I ever talk to her again.”

“You will.”

“I know but let me have this for a few hours.”

“You could always come to class with him,” Professor Armagan calls, eavesdropping shamelessly.

“I can’t be too mad about the mummies, though, can I?” Dalton asks, dipping his head to kiss you again.

#fluentmoviequoterfictober23 #dalton lambert x reader #dalton lambert fluff #dalton lambert fic #dalton lambert imagine #dalton lambert #insidious #insidious the red door #fem!reader

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mariacallous · 24 days

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1999 and 1991 for the movie asks!

1999 was tough…but in the end I think it has to be The Mummy

(With The Phantom Menace, Galaxy Quest, Cruel Intentions, The World is Not Enough and Dogma also strong contenders)

For 1991 - The Addams Family

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pink-strawberry-kissess · 3 months

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Brendan Fraser would have been the perfect Leon Kennedy, obviously not now 😢 but when he was in The Mummy 1999, Rick O'Connell looked and acted like Leon, yk physically attractive but dorky and kinda cocky.

Don't know if he had combat skills, but I know he trained krag maga

He even has the blue eyes

Love you 🩷

i see that a lot actually! def during the 90s! i think also because it's so hard to cast leon for 2024 lol. like there's always gonna be some people who aren't happy with a live action leon.. so

it would've worked!!

i think it would have to be someone who could fight, and just kinda has that wholesomeness too? but also be sometimes crude and even abrasive.. but also .. I DUNNO. i just don't see a lot of people filling the role 100%

ugh yes tho leon needs blue eyes

LOVE YOU

#kittenslady #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy #ask heart #heart answers

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girlfriendsofthegalaxy · 9 months

Text

tuesday again 8/8/2023

theoretically seeing two apartments this afternoon so i am taking the date as good luck

listening

the asteroids galaxy tour's the sun ain’t shinin no more. this was apparently a very famous iPod commercial song? wasn't paying attention to general popular culture when the original iPods were coming out. i would attempt to classify this as somewhere between the doors and smash mouth. spotify.

bitches by tove lo (feat charli xcx, icona pop, elliphant, ALMA). is this a good song? eh. is it fun to scream-sing while navigating through packs of lifted pickups whose hoods are higher than the roof of my moderately-sized hatchback? yes. spotify

how'd i find these? really leaning hard on spotify autogenerated dance playlists these days.

reading

normal pair of books to read at the same time

diana biller's hotel of secrets was an odd one. you CANNOT take away from this section "oh tumblr user girlfriendsofthegalaxy hates consent" okay? i don't piss on the poor either. i had to really think about if i thought the sex scenes were jarringly modern and concluded no, they simply challenged my preconceptions of what a single mid-thirties woman in late 1800s vienna might get up to in a time when the best available methods of birth control were french letters. however, the lengthy discussion around consent and boundaries read as somewhat performative and out of place? or like a slightly different tone? than the rest of the actual sex scenes.

in many ways the romance was the b-plot to the hotel's inner workings and the international intrigue, which was fun. i enjoyed the a-plot enough to put a hold on biller's next romance, about a young american window in gilded age nyc. we'll see how that all shakes out!

i did not enjoy and did not finish chris miller's hefty pop history book on the history of microchip production and manufacture. got about a third of the way through. i think i most disliked his approach-- the technical style is very polished, one sentence flows into the next quite well, although we have very different opinions about the meaning of "intuitive" -- but we sit in very different seats watching the american political thunderdome. the way he presents his ideas is a bit jarring, bc it is an almost full-throated and uncritical endorsement of america's cold war diplomatic policies. i think many people would agree with me when i say those policies were not very good.

both of these have been on my holds list for months and i could not tell you the inciting incidents that made me place a hold.

watching

in my best friend's endless search for Things to Have on in the Background That Are Semi Child Friendly (or THBTASCF), i have viewed National Treasure (2004, dir. Turteltaub), Rush Hour (1998, dir. Ratner) and Rush Hour 2 (2001, dir. Ratner).

i cannot say i truly enjoyed any of these choices or that they have aged particularly well. national treasure has such an ominous looming of the whedonesque Well That Happened!!! that continues to infect movies.

also rewatched The Mummy (1999, dir. Sommers) bc i wanted a screenshot of the subtitles [YEEHAWING, GUNSHOTS] which is my Texas Adventure(TM) tag, but the subtitles on my pirate movie platform of choice are not that sophisticated. you'll simply have to take my word for it bc my dvd box set is still in storage.

playing

mainlining g/enshin impact. did not realize a whole nother goddamn country is being released next week. their every-six-weeks major content update schedule is batshit insane and i do not want to really think about the level of crunch happening over there.

the regions we have so far are legally-not-switzerland, not-china, not-japan, not-india, and we are going to not-france next. it has a real jules verne/twenty thousand leagues under the sea/steampunk vibe about it. look at this whimsical little deep-sea diver boy!

i have not enjoyed this past region (sumeru, legally-not-india) as much as the others. this may be due to the hiccup of seasonal depression i am experiencing. it may be bc this is the most Contiguous Landmass segment of the map and it's less segmented into individual regions than the other countries. it may be bc i have not spent quite as much time running around here as i have liyue (legally-not-china) which does feel genuinely comforting to run around. it may be bc the last time i played this game i still worked in the games industry and i still have residual brain weirdness about playing games.

i do appreciate their dedication to Big Fuckoff Trees tho.

making

fallow weeks. things are simply not percolating in time for yeehawgust, due to the agonies, and that's fine, i'm telling myself through gritted teeth.

#tuesday again #tuesday again no problem

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