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death-and-other-myths · 1 year

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The Raven Boys Deadass Book Review

By Maggie Stiefvater

A girl whose kiss is going to kill her true love starts hanging out with 4 private school boys on a search for a magical Welsh king. You know! Just Kentucky stuff! I LOVE THIS BOOK SO MUCH!!

This is an unhinged book review/recap of The Raven Boys By Maggie Stiefvater

*SPOILERS AHEAD*

So far, we meet Blue, who is a girl who lives in a house filled with psychic women. It sounds fun and chaotic, but also a little annoying. All of the women have some sort of psychic business, with their people coming to the house for readings or phone calls. Blue’s Mom Moira (Maura?? Did I get that right?) is like the Matriarch. And one day cousin Neeve comes to visit and she’s nice but also a little weird. She does her readings at 5am on the TV. Blue isn’t like her relatives. She doesn’t have psychic gifts, but she is sorta supernatural. She’s like an amplifier. Having her nearby makes other psychics stronger. OH I should also mention that there is a prophecy that if Blue kisses her true love, they’ll die. Fun!

So Neeve takes Blue to the graveyard on St. Mark’s day, because this is the day that you can see dead people as they cross into the next life.

ACTUALLY. You can see dead people a year before they die. And talk to them?? So Blue is there with a pad and pen and they’re asking all these spirits what their names are, so if any of them become clients, the psychics know to say “I’m so sorry, but you’re going to die some time next year.” — Blue can’t see them but apparently they’re everywhere. Even walking through her.

But suddenly, she SEES ONE. And he’s a teenager about her age in a uniform from the local bougie boy’s private school, and he says his name is Gansey. “That’s all there is”. And he looks wet and really disoriented and then he disappears.

The next day Neeve does a psychic reading about it into some cranberry juice (??) and she says she can’t see how this boy is going to die. There’s just nothing there. And apparently that’s very weird and concerning. Blue is like wow okay whatever I’m going to school and then work. Bye.

MEANWHILE. A preppy boy named GANSEY is sitting by the highway because his Camero broke down. It broke down at the exact moment he was listening to a voice recording from the previous night where he heard his own voice saying his name. I thought he was going to be an amateur ghost enthusiast or something, but turns out he’s a super smart, super charismatic kid who is extremely interested in leylines. Specifically because of their ties to Welsh Kings that could… potentially grant wishes?? We still need to learn more about that lol

Gansey’s friends show up to help him out. Ronan, who seems like a brooding bad boy/dangerous type and Adam, who I immediately vibe with because he seems down to earth and resourceful and cool. He shows them the freaky recording of his voice talking to another voice (Blue) and explains that he wasn’t fucking saying anything at the time of the recording. And I guess they’re in some kind of ghost…supernatural… unofficial club led by Gansey.

Later, we meet Declan, Ronan’s older brother, who is taking a new girlfriend to the boys’ hideout like it’s a tourist attraction. Gansey, Ronan, and a 4th friend, Noah live in an abandoned factory which they’ve decorated to be a cool bachelor pad and headquarters for whatever they’re up to with leylines and dead Welsh kings. I don’t know where Adam lives. Maybe the dorms like the normal kids who aren’t Gansey and aren’t insanely rich and can just buy and move into abandoned factories.

We just met Noah who is ice cold and jokes with the girlfriend that he’s been dead for 4 years after she shakes his hand. The way this book is going, I wonder if that’s true.

Ronin comes out and starts an argument with his brother Declan, so they leave. Then the boys decide to go get pizza at the local shitty diner and OH NO THIS IS THE SAME SHITTY DINER THAT BLUE WORKS AT. HOPE SHENNANIGANS DON’T ENSUE.

So Blue’s first interaction with Gansey is him coming over to tell her that Adam thinks she’s cute and was wondering if they could talk. She doesn’t recognize him as the ghost she saw though… I think because when he was a ghost he looked so fucked up and wet and disoriented. So Blue just thinks he’s being a prep boy jackass, something Gansey exacerbates by saying “Oh are you worried it’ll take time away from your job? What do you make hourly? I can pay you!” and Blue is like “I’m not a PROSTITUTE!” – meanwhile Adam looks mortified and is blushing like crazy.

So Blue blows them off. She gets a call from her Mom saying that some kid named GANSEY called and scheduled an appointment to get a reading tomorrow. So Blue is like “oh my god” having no idea she just yelled at Gansey in the restaurant lol. He leaves his journal on the table.

Declan shows up. Him and Ronin get into a fight in the parking lot, which Gansey and Adam have to break up. There’s some real bad blood in that family. Their Dad got murdered recently and Ronin was the one to find his body. Noah is there. Still can’t figure out if this kid is ACTUALLY DEAD or not, but he sure gets described as pale, weak, and willowy. After all the hullabaloo, Adam comes back to the diner on his bike and talks to Blue. Explains he didn’t ask Gansey to do that, and honestly just thought she looked interesting and wanted to talk. Blue is totally charmed and gives him her number.

The next day, Blue asks one of the psychic ladies in her house about the journal and Persephone tells her whoever made this thing is more enchanted with the search than the destination. “You would have found it already” she says. HAH. Boys.

I should also mention, in the background, there is this Latin Teacher at the boys’ school who is ALSO looking for the leylines. His name is Whelk and he’s a young teacher. He’s hella messed up because he and his friend were looking for the Welsh King years ago, and they performed some sort of ritual over the leyline, and the result left his friend DEAD and Whelk hears VOICES now. He’s kind of on to Gansey and the gang and is keeping a close eye on them.

Gansey gets a phone call from some British dude in the middle of the night. He’s very vocal about his interest in Kings and history, even if he doesn’t tell everyone he’s out for a magic wish. This is a man he met while in boarding school overseas, and this dude IS in on the leyline thing. He tells Gansey about the need to perform a ritual, and that they leylines in Henrietta are underground, maybe in caves.

Gansey goes to tell Ronin about the conversation and discovers he’s not in his room. Worried, because of the fight with his brother earlier, he rallies the troops to find him. And in like… 3 paragraphs the author throws a ton of heavy information at us. One is that Adam lives in an abusive household, and will probably get in trouble for sneaking out to look for Ronin. The other is that Gansey is so concerned because not long ago, Ronin tried to KILL HIMSELF and Noah found him. He ends up checking the church that all of the Lynch boys attend with their mother every Sunday, and Ronin is there, drunk, sleeping on a pew… with a baby Raven he has named Chainsaw??? That’s kind of adorable.

They all go home, but the next morning, something is amiss because Adam doesn’t come to school. This immediately bothers Gansey and Ronin, so Gansey goes to visit Adam after school and he does, in fact, have a huge bruise on his face. They have a little argument with Gansey begging Adam to just get out of there and let him take care of him. Come move to the factory with Ronin and Noah. But Adam is really hard set on not accepting any help. In the end he hops in the car to go with Gansey to the psychic reading. They’re definitely bound in their desire to find the sleeping king and ask for a wish. POOR BABY I LOVE HIM. I love all these boys. Even creepy ass Noah who I’m 50% sure might be dead???

Earlier that day, a dark-haired man comes to the psychic house, demands a reading, and gets one… before promptly being thrown out. The psychic ladies determine he’s looking for something, and will stop at nothing to find it, and promptly ask him to leave because I think the cards showed he was willing to do terrible things to get it. I think this man was Whelk because I’m getting slimy vibes from him.

The boys show up to the psychic house late (just Gansey, Adam, and Ronin) and there’s immediately an adorable finger-pointing panic with them being like “YOU!!” To Blue. Adam looks mortified. It’s all deliciously awkward. Ronan is being a dick as per usual, so Calla freaks him out. He’s like “You’re all fakes. Tell me something no one else would know.” And she’s like “Yeah. Cool. Your father died with a secret that only you know.” And Ronan is promptly like “FUCK THIS I’M OUT!!” — I love how protective Gansey is over his various insundry broken friends. He’s immediately like “That’s not cool, picking on a kid like that.” And Calla, the bitchiest of the psychics, is like “He asked me a question and I answered.”

Adam’s card reading is spot on. That he’s thoughtful and yearns for a brighter future far away from here. When Gansey goes to pull a card, he asks if Blue can pull it for him. She pulls the Page of Cups (her card, which has special meaning to her and her mother) and Maura is like “Nope. You have to draw it yourself Gansey. Pull again.” And they reshuffle. And he fucking pulls it AGAIN! And Maura is like “Okay just put that one aside. Fuck you cards.” And when he pulls ANOTHER card, it’s the death card. Oooooooooo.

Gansey is like “Okay look we didn’t actually come here for readings. I want to know if you ladies know anything about leylines.” And they all play dumb and are like “We don’t know what that is. Money please. Kay thanks bye.” But he digs his heels in as they turn to leave. “Do you really not know or you just don’t want to help me.” And Maura is like “I just don’t want to help you.” And they go. And then Maura forbids Blue to ever see those boys again, which ticks her off because her mom has never forbid her from anything in her life.

Later that night, Gansey and Noah are woken up by Ronan feeding his baby crow, Chainsaw lol. They have a brief talk. Then when Gansey goes to bed, there’s a wasp on the window. And he has this dramatic moment gearing up to hit it with a shoe. And now I remember that he has an EPIPEN IN HIS CAR GLOVE COMPARTMENT. Then Ronan comes out and is like “Jesus fucking Christ man!” And kills the wasp for him, all super protective like Gansey was just staring down a gun. We hear of a time in Gansey’s past when he was covered in hornets and almost died from his allergy, and he remembers being on the ground and looking up at worried people. AUGH. Fucking stinging bugs! I hate them too, Gansey.

Blue finds Neeve out be a tree being weird one evening. She’s performing some sort of ritual and actually gets POSESSED by something that talks to Blue until she decides she’s had enough and kicks over Neeve’s bowls of stuff to snap her out of it. Neeve is like “don’t tell your mom” and Blue says “Fuck that I’m telling everyone”. And after that, a flower delivery truck pulls up and a woman gives Blue a tiny tiny bouquet of baby’s breath and a white carnation. It’s from ADAM!! And it’s sweet and adorable and she loves it. I LOVE IT TOO.

Whelk goes through Gansey’s locker at school like a total douchebag and figures out that he’s looking for the leyline. I didn’t realize that Whelk doesn’t know about he king’s wish?? He was just doing something else with the leylines I guess. But once he figures out that’s what Gansey’s searching for, he photocopies his books.

Adam pulls up to the factory headquarters one day to find Ronan and Noah dicking around building ramps to launch the BMW off of lol. BOYS. We hear a little bit of Adam’s backstory… how he was inspired to go to Aglionby after having his card declined at the grocery store, just trying to buy toothpaste and canned goods, and he saw some Aglionby boys in their expensive car and was like “I want to go there”. And he also sees Ronan as like.. the pinnacle of that lifestyle he so desperately wants. Carefree and wanting for nothing. Adam steals Ronan’s cell phone to call Blue and ask if she wants to come ride a helicopter and go exploring haha

And I’ll be damned, when Blue shows up, there most certainly IS a helicopter at the factory. Blue gives back the journal and a little map she made showing where the graveyard is. She tells Adam she wants in on the leyline search, because she’s lived her whole life not being magic, but surrounded by it, and she just wants to experience it for herself. Her and Adam flirt and he calls her pretty and when the copter is on, he has to lean in close to her and shout, and it’s SO CUTE!!! And Gansey is all cute and excited. And Adam holds Blue’s hand because he hates flying. And Gansey’s sister Helen is the pilot hahaha WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS FAMILY???

While they’re flying around looking for evidence of leylines, Blue and the boys hash some things out. For starters, Gansey recognizes Blue’s voice as the one on the recorder, so he asks her about it. Ronan has the same realization and asks her the same thing, only more rudely. Blue says she’s seen Gansey’s spirit, and they talked, but leaves out the part about her being in the graveyard and it being because Gansey is going to DIE. All the same, the guys seem satisfied with this answer.

“I need everyone to be straight with each other from here on out.” Gansey says.

“I’m always straight.” Says Ronan.

“Man, that’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told.” Adam says.

On my kindle, this is underlined because “2,643 other people have highlighted this sentence” hahahaha.

They spot a giant carving in the ground in the shape of a raven, so they land the helicopter to check it out.

Turns out there’s a magical fucking forest down there. Everyone’s watches stop working. The light and the weather are weird. There’s a pool where whatever Gansey thinks, something shows up in it. The fish turn colors depending on what he’s thinking. Then they find this hollowed out rotted tree, and when everyone stands in it, they see something horrible. Adam saw some kind of vision where he KILLED GANSEY. (?!?!) And when Blue steps in it, she sees this really sweet, but sad scene, that looks like it’s the same one she saw in the Graveyard. Gansey is all wet. And he’s holding the sides of her face and saying “It’s okay. It’s okay.” And leans in to kiss her!!! Then the vision stops.

Ronan straight up refuses to go into the tree and Noah isn’t there.

WOW THIS IS ALL TERRIBLY CONFUSING because Adam and Blue are really hitting it off and holding hands and being cute??? Blue the prophecy said that Blue’s true love would die after she kissed him?? AUGH this book is good.

They celebrate with ice cream after like total teenagers lol. “We just stood in some kind of traumatic spirit tree - ice creams on the house!!” And after that, they hang out every day. Blue is officially part of the team and she eventually gets to meet Noah, who instantly loves her. There’s this funny line that is like “Noah is the only one allowed to pat the tufts of hair on Blue’s head and Adam wishes he could…” (lolol)

Gansey is adorable by the way. When he stood in the spooky spirit tree he said he saw Glendower. I don’t know if he’s being cryptic or what, but his energy in that whole scene was so fun. He was like… so excited and confident and such a leader for the gang. He’s also super protective of his friends, it’s really adorable. He’s just like the most charismatic, pioneering, confident in a borderline annoying way… good guy. And I just love Adam. He’s such a good ol boy.

Eventually, after a few weeks of research and sneaking around, they return to the woods. This time with the full gang. And it looks different. It’s darker and the more they walk, the more the seasons change around them. They find a stone with Latin written on it in RONAN’S HANDWRITING. And it says the trees know Latin.

Well turns out freaky future Ronan was right because the trees most certainly do know Latin. They find a pool of water where Noah and Gansey can hear voices, but no one else can. And because Gansey isn’t great at Latin, he has to tell Ronan what he’s hearing phonetically because Ronan is the only one in the gang that is really really good at Latin. Gansey asks the trees if they know where Glendower is and they say no. The trees know Blue and Ronan though (they say nice to see you again). And tell them to go down the path and take a left. When the kids do this, they find an old red mustang all overgrown and covered in leaves. There’s a Blink 182 sticker and a dowsing rod in the back, meaning someone else was here looking for the leyline.

Noah runs off and pukes in the forest. I think he knows this car. Gansey says this is a huge discovery and they need to collect more info and come back.

Okay so the jig is up with Blue and her Mom. And it’s kind of adorable watching them navigate the “you disobeyed my orders” conversation considering Blue has never had orders before and Maura has never had to discipline her child before. Maura and the aunties are drinking screwdrivers at 10am lol I wish I lived in their house. So at least Blue can go off and see the boys any time she wants, even though it pisses her mom off. Calla reminds Blue about their “Movie Night” aka the night they’re going to go through Neeve’s stuff and figure out why she’s so weird.

So one day, Adam is at work. Ronan is… I forget. I’d say school, but he never goes to school. But maybe he’s at school. Noah is out. So Gansey calls Blue and asks if she wants to go exploring just the two of them. She’s a little nervous at this, but agrees. And they actually have a nice time even with the occasional witty banter. Blue is kind of determined not to like him and hates how condescending he is. But the more they talk, the more they enjoy each other’s company. She asks about the epipen in his glovebox and Gansey tells her about when he was 11 and at a fancy rich person party. And he stepped on a hornet hive. His allergy is so bad that even one sting could kill him, but as he laid there with a whole hive on his body, he heard a voice saying that he wasn’t going to die today. “Somewhere else on this leyline, someone is dying that shouldn’t have. So today, you will not die.” It says. And ever since then he’s been obsessed with the leyline and Welsh Kings.

They’re walking along when they find a fucking SKELETON in the meadow. And its wearing an Aglionby sweater and has its cheek smashed in. When Gansey looks in the wallet, he sees…. DUN DUN DUN…. NOAH CZERNCY’S DRIVER’S LICENSE.

(Czerncy is the name of Whelk’s friend who died when they messed with the leyline years ago… I KNEW WHELK WAS UP TO NO GOOD!!)

The scene abruptly cuts to Gansey coming back to the factory and screaming for Noah. He calls Adam. Ronan comes out of his room. They have this realization all at once that NONE OF THEM HAVE CLASSES WITH NOAH. They can’t really remember how they became friends. He’s just always been there, quiet and shy and awkward. Gansey might come on a little strong here lol a little accusatory. He and Ronan are like “Have you ever seen him eat?!” I think he’s just blown away. Well it freaks out Noah because he totally disappears. And they don’t see him again for a while. He starts acting like a proper ghost. They think maybe because Gansey and Blue went to the police and his remains got moved away from the leyline. But he’s totally haunting the boys and being cold gusts and moving shit around the apartments and being a shadow. He can’t take form anymore.

A few days later, Adam is at the factory studying at Gansey’s desk. Ronan is in his room feeding his baby raven. And Noah is doing ghost shit like knocking over Gansey’s mint plant. Declan shows up and shoves a letter in Adam’s face, saying he’s pissed at Gansey for “Letting Ronan fail out of Aglionby and get expelled” — Adam is like “Okay it’s not Gansey’s fault your brother won’t go to class, but I’ll pass the message along. You’re not coming in here like this.” — Gansey made a promise to Declan that he’d look after Ronan if he could come live at the factory and not in the Lynch home after Ronan tried to kill himself.

Blue shows up at the factory (she’s never been there). And Gansey is away at his family’s house for his Mom’s birthday (side note, his family is so pretentious lol. His Mom is mad at her daughter for gifting her with a bronze plate intstead of a glass plate. GEEZ. Gansey is confident to the point of being annoying, but he’s not shallow.) Blue and Adam totally have crushes on each other, but she’s terrified of him kissing her. At one point, he even brushes her cheek with his hand and tells her she’s pretty, and she’s like “Um. I don’t want to move too fast.” — because she’s scared to tell him about the prophecy because throwing around words like “True love” are really heavy.

AUGH I’M WORRIED THOUGH. Because Adam is starting to get little pangs of jealousy towards Gansey, because Gansey really did have a nice time hanging out with Blue (and there’s a cute line about him trying to think of more things to get a rise out of her). Oh no oh no I just keep thinking of what everyone saw in the spirit tree…

Anyhoo. Once blue is in the factory, she calls out to Noah and says “You can use my energy if you need to.” I think he really is having trouble manifesting now that his bones have been moved from the leyline. But Noah shows up. And he holds Blue’s hand, which makes her whole arm go numb because of her spirit battery powers. And he seems slightly disoriented, like sometimes he doesn’t know he’s dead, or just has trouble acknowledging it. They ask him who killed him and he says “He was my friend. I trusted him.” And he also says “I was more… when I was alive” and Blue thinks of the red mustang and Blink 182 CD. He probably wasn’t always this shy and skiddish. Noah also has a “smudge” on his cheek, which is where his bones were caved in. But it’s interesting that it manifests that way when he’s a ghost.

Gansey calls the school and negotiates with the administrator to give Ronan until finals. He does this with Rich people tricks like promising to donate money to the library. He’s driving along super pissed at Ronan for making him “behave like a Gansey” (resulting to bribery) when his car dies. He’s messing around with it on the side of the road when fucking BARRINGTON WHELK pulls up and wastes no time in being a complete douche canoe.

Dude doesn’t even TRY to masquerade as a teacher/good person and pulls a GUN on Gansey!! Tells him to hand over the journal and tell him everything he knows about the Leyline. Gansey hands it to him, and tells him a few things, but not everything, and then PUNCHES THE GUN out of Whelk’s hand and fucking bolts. (Ronan taught him how to fight. I love it). It’s dark so Gansey is able to hide in the shadows until Whelk gives up and leaves.

Meanwhile Blue and Calla (and Persephone) are rifling through Neeve’s freaky shit in the attic. She has mirrors and bowls and when Calla uses her psychic ability, she realizes that Neeve is not in Henrietta to help Maura find her long lost husband. She’s there because WHELK called her and hired her to investigate the leyline. They would have snooped more except Maura and Neeve unexpectedly came home early and are like “Hey, there’s a bunch of boys out here and one of them has a broken thumb.”

So now everyone is crowded in the kitchen and hashing everything out. Adam is helping Persephone make tea. It’s adorable. I love the psychics and the raven boys getting together to make a plan. Gansey is totally shaken. He’s been to the hospital and has a tag on his wrist and a splint on his thumb. And Blue notices his eyes look a little different. Anyone’s would after getting a gun pointed at their head. Blue and her Mom have a public fight about the Dad thing. Blue is pissed her Mom never told her anything about him and now she’s apparently looking for him with Neeve. It’s decided that they have to stop Whelk from waking up the leyline. But it’s late so everyone needs to go home first lol.

(Chapter 36)

Ronan drops Adam off at his house. And they immediately sense that something is off by the way Adam’s father is looming on the porch. But Ronan leaves and Robert Parrish immediately starts shit. He’s mad because he found one of Adam’s paystubs… for the 3 JOBS THAT HE HAS just to support his family and his tuition. And this monster punches him into a pole. God this scene is so well-written and hard to read. It’s just heartbreaking. Seeing a kid trying to think through the pain, trying to guess what he needs to say to get his father to stop hitting him. Adam can’t hear anything out of his ear. He can see Ronan’s car stalling at the top of the driveway. A few minutes into the beating later, Ronan shows up and fucking PUNCHES ADAM’S DAD!! Yayyyyy Ronan I love you so much!!

Adam’s Mom calls the cops and when they arrive, Adam is so stunned and off-balance, they keep asking him if he’s drunk. Like no, you massive dipshits, this child has a CONCUSSION. His Mom is giving him a look like “Tell them you fell.” And Adam tells the cops that his father did this to him, and he’d like to press charges. If he didn’t press charges, Ronan would be charged with assault and then he really would be kicked out of school.

Meanwhile Whelk is being a sad sack eating a burger by a pay phone that keeps ringing. He eventually picks it up and it’s NEEVE!! She says “You know that idea you proposed last time we spoke?” And he goes “Yeah you said you weren’t interested in helping me.” And Neeve goes “Well I changed my mind.” — WHAAAAAAT IS THIS BITCH UP TO. I have a weird feeling about her.

AUGH so then Gansey picks up Adam from the hospital. And the doctors tell him that Adam will never hear out of his left ear again. And they also told Gansey that Adam didn’t have insurance, so he picked up the tab (knowing this should start a huge fight), but Adam is 100% defeated and is like “You win. Take me to go get my stuff.”

They do have a bit of an argument. I feel for Gansey because to him, it’s not pity. He doesn’t think Adam is any less of a person for needing help. But Adam struggles so much with Gansey because of who he is and what he represents. I love this exchange:

“God, I’m sick of your condescension, Gansey,” Adam said. “Don’t try to make me feel stupid. Who whips out repugnant? Don’t pretend you’re not trying to make me feel stupid.”

“This is the way I talk. I’m sorry your father never taught you the meaning of repugnant. He was too busy smashing your head against the wall of your trailer while you apologized for being alive.”

Both of them stopped breathing.

Gansey knew he’d gone too far. It was too far, too late, too much. Adam shoved open the door. “Fuck you, Gansey. Fuck you,” he said, voice low and furious.

AUGHGHAUGHGH eventually Adam gets back in the car and lets Gansey take him to get his stuff, then take him back to the factory. But MAN I love these boys and this conflict. I totally get where Adam is coming from and I get Gansey’s too.

Blue shows up at the factory and has a conversation with Noah, who fills her in on everything that’s happened with Adam. She is, of course, horrified. PS I love Blue and Noah’s friendship. He behaves like a proper spirit and when she’s not around for him to borrow energy from, he’s either invisible or looks HORRIFYING with no eyes and a crushed cheek. So everyone is in agreement that Blue being around is great. Even Ronan is warming up to her. Ronan, in fact, is at the LIBRARY which is adorable. Studying his ass off like a good boy so he can stay in school and keep an eye on Adam. I mean his friends.

The phone rings and Noah tells Blue that it’s important, so she runs to go get it and it’s Gansey’s British friend — calling with news that he and his colleague attempted a ritual at the leyline in the UK. AND HIS FRIEND’S SKIN FELL OFF. Wow. Maggie. Um. Okay. Apparently the dude made some joke or comment about “jumping out of his skin” and then it fucking happened because I guess leylines take everything literally. If you think of something, it happens. Like Gansey and the fish changing colors. So…. That’s horrifying.

Gansey, Ronan, and Adam show up soon after and the air is a bit awkward. Adam is getting all moved in to Noah’s old room and Gansey dramatically falls face down on his bed. I love this kid and I love this scene. There’s a cute bit between Gansey and Blue while Ronan and Adam are setting up his room. Blue tells him what Malory said and he goes “Yee haw” into his mattress. She asks what he and Adam fought about and he mumbles into his mattress lol so she tells him to try again and he goes “My words are unerring tools of destruction, and I’ve come unequipped with the ability to disarm them.”

Hahahaha I love this kid. Adam has a point. How many 16-17 year olds talk like this?? He’s adorable though, and I love dramatic, broken Gansey even more than confident, charismatic Gansey. Blue agrees. They have this whole conversation with him laying down and her standing upside down over him.

So then Gansey is like “Alright guys, word on the street is that messing with the leyline turns your skin inside out, so we’re not doing that. Deals off. We’ll find some way to stop Whelk from waking the leyline, but we’re leaving that magic alone because I love you all and I don’t want anything to happen to you.” (He doesn’t say that last part. But we all know that’s why)

Meanwhile, Whelk has been kidnapped by Neeve lol. I guess that’s what she was up to. Now she’s driving him to Cabeswater so she can sacrifice him in order to wake the leyline. WOW Neeve. I knew you were creepy, but I misjudged the extent.

Later that evening there is a SUPER CUTE SCENE where Blue is doing her homework under the tree by her house, and Adam comes over. He puts his head in her lap (eeee!!) and she strokes his hair and they have a super cute conversation. She comforts him and tells him he’s brave. Adam says he’d like to kiss her, but she dodges it and is like “I don’t want to hurt you.” — “I’m already hurt.” He says, quite literally deaf and bruised all to hell. They move on to other topics, like Adam’s tarot card reading and how he doesn’t know the right choice. Blue tells him to keep being brave.

That night, Adam has a nightmare, but it’s just the vision from the spirit tree replaying in his head. Gansey bleeding on the ground. Ronan shouting at him “Are you happy now, Adam!?” - Adam has a long hard think when he wakes up about how fucked up his life is. And how Gansey doesn’t want to wake the leyline for fear of someone getting hurt. But he isn’t afraid of getting hurt. He just wants to make life better for himself and his friends and if it means sacrificing something of his, Adam is prepared to do that. He stuffs his father’s gun in his bag, steals Gansey’s car, and runs off to the leyline.

ADAM NO. WHATEVER YOU DO, DON’T THINK ABOUT YOUR SKIN COMING OFF!!

Noah wakes up Gansey, who wakes up Noah and they rush off.

Meanwhile, Maura goes up to Blue’s room and has a talk with her on her bed. She tells her about her father, who showed up on the leyline. She thinks he might have come from it. His name was Artemis and he was kind of magic. Possibly from a different time. Persephone interrupts saying the Raven boys are out front with the car. Maura says “Go. We’ll take care of Neeve.”

So Adam is walking around Cabeswater and the second he’s thinking about how he wishes it wasn’t so dark and spooky, the sun comes out and it’s beautiful and golden and fall-like. So Adam keeps walking and happens upon Whelk sitting in the center of a Pentagram with a bunch of random bowls and shit around it. Thinking he’s doing the ritual, Adam knocks over one of the bowls. Then Neeve shows up. And Whelk gets out of his hand ties and tackles her. Adam pulls the gun on Whelk, but he puts a knife to Neeve’s throat and tells Adam to throw the gun away. So he does.

Neeve explains that if Whelk kills her, it won’t wake the leyline. The only way for it to wake up is for someone to make a PERSONAL sacrifice. Whelk is like “But you don’t care about me? How is that a personal sacrifice?” And Neeve says “I’ve never murdered anyone before. My innocence is the sacrifice. But you’ve already murdered before, so you don’t have that option.”

Then Gansey and the gang show up. Neeve suddenly just disappears. Whelk scrambles for the gun and points it at Gansey. Adam throws himself on the pentagram, and time seems to slow down. The air is silent. He knows a thing or two about sacrifice (more than spoiled-ass Whelk whose only reason to wake the leyline is to get RICH again). So Adam tells the leyline “I will be your hands. I will be your eyes.” — he gives up his free will and promises himself to Cabeswater in order to wake the leyline and save his friends from this psycho. Gansey is freaking out and shouting “No!!” But immediately there’s an earthquake. I think this is the leyline waking up.

Everyone is kind of stumbling around in the chaos, and Ronan even shouts at Adam “Look what you’ve done you crazy bastard!” — but Adam, who is now some sort of supernatural being, is just standing in the pentagram looking like a badass. Whelk asks him, “What would YOU do with power? What a fucking waste.” And SHOOTS THE GUN AT ADAM. The earthquake stops. Blue is crying. Everyone is freaking out, thinking Adam has been shot (especially Gansey), but there’s no mark on him. Adam tells Whelk to give him the gun.

Then.. out of nowhere… a herd of white horned beasts stampede through the forest. Their entrance is preceded by the trees hissing. So I’m not sure if this is Cabeswater doing this (summoning the white.. uhh beasts) or Adam? But Adam looks surprised, so I think it’s the forest. Everyone has to take cover so they’re not trampled, and Blue, Ronan, and Gansey stumble into the vision tree.

Blue sees a vision of her and Gansey sitting in the car at night. He leans across the gearshift and touches her collarbone. His breath is on her neck. “I just want to pretend.. just pretend that I could.” He says. “Maybe it wouldn’t hurt if I kiss you. Maybe it’s only if you kiss me.”

Like oh my god I love this. Gansey and Blue don’t have that type of relationship now. They’re like firmly friends and like razzing each other. So it’s SO FUCKING FUN to see these visions where they have a crazy amount of sexual tension. But Blue and Adam are also so sweet??? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING TO HAPPEN IN THESE NEXT 3 BOOKS?!!?

While they’re in the tree, Gansey sees a snippet of the vision that Blue saw earlier— where his hands are on her face. But that’s all he sees before they’re shoved out of the tree. The forest has been trampled by these beasts. Adam is fine lol protected by the pentagram. But Whelk is like… broken. And very dead. Gansey is NOT COOL with this. Adam is still eerily calm and has the gun. He says he didn’t shoot Whelk, just used it to keep him from coming into the pentagram for protection. So he let him get trampled. And Adam says they should just let Whelk rot on the leyline like Noah’s body had to.

The trees talk some Latin and everyone hears it this time. They say “Boy, we know what you’re looking for.”

The trees tell him there’s been rumors of a king buried on the spirit road, and they think he may be “yours”.

THEN IT JUST FUCKING CUTS THERE. And we get some kind of epilogue where Noah’s bones are buried at a funeral. And we see Noah’s family. Noah’s ghost appears to Blue and he asks her to say something to his family “He’s sorry for drinking your birthday schnapps.” And at first they’re offended but then thoroughly freaked out. Noah insisted, though!!

We learn that Maura and the psychics took apart the mirrors in Neeve’s attic and that’s when she disappeared. Was she an illusion the entire time??

Anyway… LATER THE KIDS COME BACK WITH CONSTRUCTION EQUIPMENT AND DIG UP NOAH’S BONES. They rebury the casket… then take his bones to the church at St. Agnes and bury them there, so they’re on the leyline. The second they do this, our favorite ghost boy comes back (looking normal, not like a monster or invisible) and yay everyone is reunited. I can’t believe these teens fucking did that but alright hahaha Rich kids!!

Everyone is excited that the trees confirmed Glendower exists.

And Noah is back.

And Adam is moved out of his abusive home and tied somehow to the leyline’s magic, but we don’t know exactly how yet.

And they kind of inadvertently murdered their Latin teacher, but it’s okay because he was trying to murder them. No one in this town ever questions where Whelk went lol.

And as everyone is leaving the church all happy and positive and reunited…. Ronan says offhandedly, “I guess now would be a good time to tell you. I took Chainsaw out of my dreams.”

And that is the last line of the book.

I finished this book at like 3am and I literally had to flip the pages back and forth being like “WHAT?….. WHAT?????” I was so confused. I had to google some articles.

But this is the 1st book in the series and I think it just teed up the events of the following books. Holy shit. This is fun!! I love these characters and the cadence and the writing style of this book. I love the layers to each of the boys that we as the reader get to see. The surface level stuff that makes them fight with each other. And the sweet underpinnings of their wants and needs and psychies. It’s just so cool!! I’m definitely going to keep reading, even though I was a little confused by that climax.

There’s pentagrams and guns and Adam is some kind of god now and then there’s deer beasts maybe and I’m just like… WHAT IS HAPPENING?? Now we’re at a funeral???

Alright well here we go. On to the next one!!

Deadass Rating:7/10

Unofficial theme song: “Girl” by Jukebox the Ghost

#the raven boys #the raven cycle #maggie stiefvater #richard gansey #blue x gansey #adam x ronan #maura sargent #the dreamer trilogy #noah czerny #ronan lynch #adam and ronan #book reviews #deadass book review #deadass book reviews #blue sargent

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sleepingcrisis · 3 years

Text

Matchalove soul mates AU (sorta matchaloveblossom???)

Fuck The Universe

*****

"Kojiro? Where's Kaoru? I thought you were both coming here?" Adam asks. Kojiro is currently sitting in the bowl of their favourite skatepark which is honestly just asking to get hit, but Adam is used to finding him here if he can't find him sitting in some other inconvenient spot.

"Kaoru got his mark and he said he needs some time to process," Kojiro says. He sounds bitter about it. His voice is strained and it looks like he has been crying, they are both such cry babies.

"What? Does he know who it is yet?" Adam opts to join him in the bowl and sit next to him.

"No I guess not. At least that is what he said. He won't show me it," Kojiro mutters. That can mean multiple things of course. Of course Kaoru had always joked that he would probably be stuck with them forever. Adam knew Kaoru hoped for it to be one of them... he probably hoped for it to somehow be both of them. Apparently it is rarely who you want it to be. There was a time when Adam had thought he would get Tadashi. When Tadashi's mark did appear Adam had been told that it wasn't him. He never got to see it of course, but the way Tadashi had looked for days after it had left no room for Adam to doubt his words. He didn't even know where the mark was located.

"Well it could be you," Adam points out in an effort to be hopeful about it.

"Or it could be you," Kojiro tacks on and offers a small smile, "Or it could be neither of us."

Adam sighs softly and watches the smile on Kojiro’s face drop.

"We could get each other," Adam suggests and smiles when Kojiro nudges him.

"I'll get it lazer removed," Kojiro is joking and Adam plays along. Acting as if his heart has been wounded.

"If he wants to be with one of us or something then he should just say it... who cares about a stupid marking. He likes us and we like him and we like each other," Adam tries to explain even as his face heats up.

"His family is traditional. Besides, it is your perfect match!" Kojiro flops down onto the concrete.

"Says who?" Adam scoffs and looks down at him.

"I don't know, the universe?" Kojiro suggests and soon the two are laughing at how ridiculous that sounds despite it being true.

"The universe doesn't know shit," Adam insist after awhile.

"And what makes you say that?" Kojiro looks up at him and they lock eyes.

Adam thinks about everything. He thinks about all the things he has yet to tell Kojiro and Kaoru. He thinks about how unfair it is that Tadashi isn't his because — yeah — his own parents are traditional too. Then everything got messy with Tadashi and now the universe is probably going to put a stop to this — a stop to what he has with Cherry and Joe. "If the universe is so great and powerful than why is Kaoru upset about his soul mate?" Adam decides to put it back on Kojiro.

"Because he doesn't like change, and he hates losing people, and he thinks that if it isn’t us then we are going to leave. I don’t plan on going anywhere."

"Neither do I," Adam says then thinks for a moment. "Universe be damned! If my mark isn't someone I already lo— like then I don't care about what the universe has to say about it!"

He watches as Kojiro chuckles before pushing himself up and leaning into Adam’s space, "So if it isn't one of us then the universe can go fuck itself? What happens if it is one of us?" Kojiro asks.

"Then I guess the universe is only on thin ice for now," Adam decides, but he sounds less confident this time. He sounds less confident because there is a green haired idiot in his space and he is far too close.

"They say that if you kiss your soul mate then your mark might show up premature," Kojiro whispers. Adam can feel his breath. He knows the implications, but he also knows why none of them have every passed that threshold; there is a lingering fear about what they do if the mark doesn't show up.

"Kojiro..."

"Fuck the universe, right?" Kojiro asks and the way he says it steals away any argument that Adam might have.

"Fuck the universe," he agrees quietly before pressing his lips against Kojiro’s.

The kiss is hasty and unpracticed. A nervous first kiss on both ends that results in pain coursing through Kojiro’s right shoulder and Adam’s left. It causes them to pull away and Kojiro — always one to shed clothing when given the opportunity — pulls his hoodie off and tugs his shirt up.

"Is there anything there?" He asks.

"Yeah," Adam whispers and reaches out to touch the single rose and sunflower now tattooed onto his shoulder with leaves surrounding them. He feels a phantom of the touch on his own opposing shoulder.

Adam wants to trace it forever but it comes with the bitter feeling of knowing that Kaoru doesn't have either of them. Kaoru — who has never been great at making friends, so he most likely hasn't talked to his soul mate — is on the outside now.

"What about Kaoru?" Kojiro asks after a moment and pulls his shirt down and soon his hoodie after that in a slight rush, as if he is worried about Kaoru knowing that they got each other.

There were three of them, one was bound to be on the outside.

Regardless, "Fuck the universe. If Kaoru wants us as his soul mates then that is what he gets," Adam decides.

Kojiro let's out a bitter laugh and soon the two are facing each other again.

"Fuck the universe?" Kojiro tilts his head as if asking, 'is this gonna be a thing now?'.

"Fuck the universe," Adam confirms with a grin as he pulls Kojiro into another kiss.

*****

Might continue this??? I wonder who Kaoru got 👀

Kojiro and Adam: fuck the universe!

The universe: what if you're soul mates?

Adam: you're on thin fucking ice now. *bitterly kisses soul mate*

#sk8 the infinity #sakurayashiki kaoru #shindo ainosuke #nanjo kojiro #matcha love #matchaloveblossom #cherry blossom #joe #adam #soul mate AU

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angeltrapz · 3 years

Note

oosdkk dude im sorry ur mood dropped too.. i hope u feel better soon <3 but like i wld love 2 hear more abt ur thoughts on Art in general bc Boy Is He Interesting, and also a lil more abt Daniel coming out as nonbinary to his dad (whether he knows Eric is trans or not at that moment skjdfhdskf)! + if ur feelin it just more abt Mallick in general ESP cuz we agree that Brit doesn't make it thru V

djhfjdks thank u sm <3

okay Art first. I genuinely wonder abt him so much, something in specific I think abt is that aside frm Amanda (+ Eric, obviously, but talkin abt disciples) Art is one of the only trap victims EVER 2 be tested twice and it’s like... what’s that abt? Why? as u’ve said b4 it rly depends on how you personally view his character: whether he’s a disciple or not. fr me, both options are equally plausible, n honestly I don’t rly confine myself to either; it sorta depends on what I’m feeling/writing. if we’re talking abt art being a disciple, then the Spinecutter not going off (one of my BIGGEST questions) makes total sense, as Hoffman’s side of the trap was never set up to work either, + Jigsaw disciples have a history (aside from Lawrence) of appearing as victims in other tests/traps. if he were not just another pawn and was in fact a disciple himself, then the Spinecutter was never meant to go off - it was there just to make Eric think it COULD go off/make it look convincing to outsiders. which brings me to ANOTHER question: what does Art know abt Eric? does he know anything? what does he think of Eric?

(lil side note: if Art is a disciple, then I kinda wonder if it’s a lil bit of a Hoffman + Lawrence situation where Hoffman didn’t know abt Art either? just bc he looks so shocked when he sees Art’s face fully fr the first time... that could’ve just been acting on Hoffman’s part but IDK. food fr thought)

personally, I feel like Art probably does know a lil bit abt Eric - at the very least, he’d know tht Eric had been previously tested + failed by John’s rules, but then I feel that he wld also know Eric didn’t rly have a chance in his second test. that is why Art trying so fucking hard to keep Eric alive is interesting 2 me: what is his motivation 2 do that? like he’s been told Eric’s basically just there to get Rigg to participate, he doesn’t have any personal obligation or anything like that. sure, the aim is to keep Eric alive + see if Rigg can pass his “test,” but nobody said anything about grabbing a man you barely know around his ankles to keep him frm hanging himself w a noose made of chains. nobody said anything abt speaking to him so softly, not even raising your voice beyond saying “hey,” and asking him do you understand? when you tell him to keep still and prevent him frm killing his counterpart (which, if Art is a disciple, he knows it won’t, but he still speaks to Eric so softly, so compassionately, doesn’t he?)

nobody said anything abt grabbing him around the waist and steadying him again after being punched by said man. but Art does that. he stabilizes Eric’s feet on the ice as best he can and he keeps his hips straight and he basically says “look, we’re all stuck here, you need to keep it together ‘til that clock counts down if you want us to live, but I’m giving you a choice,” and he presses the gun w the single bullet into Eric’s hands and tells him it’s up to him. nobody said Art had to care but he does, I think, and it’s just like. he really didn’t have to keep Eric alive over the course of Rigg’s test. he didn’t. but he did and I just,, where does it come from? why does he care? this is even going beyond the fact that we’ve talked abt them being together after their test in a scenario where they both survive - I just think that Art at his core is a very stubborn but very compassionate person, whether he wants 2 be or not. like he HAS to know that kind of involvement cld prove to be extremely detrimental but he cares. I feel like that says a lot abt him (even if he does call Eric an asshole a couple times while doing it,,).

plus I also just. I think his reason for being tested (as it seems to be in most cases) is extremely flimsy. he was doing his job. he’s a LAWYER. often times it has nothing 2 do w personal feelings; they’re there to do their job and sometimes, unfortunately, that is defending possibly reprehensible people (in cases like Rex’s & Ivan’s). + John was already upset w him regarding their argument abt the urban renewal group so like it just feels So Very Petty, y’know?? even in the scenario where he IS a disciple, testing him twice seems entirely like John having a personal vendetta against him. Amanda is the only other person to be tested twice aside from Eric, so like. what. is that abt Mr. Kramer.

like I’ve said b4 in dms one could argue that Art is grey morally, bc we never rly see anything of him outside of flashbacks + acting as a test controller in IV, esp given that he... rly doesn’t seem too bothered abt it all? which is fair. but I also feel like the concern he shows towards Eric is smth to be considered as well.

+ YESS NONBINARY DANIEL I know I’ve mentioned it b4 but for reference, I read Daniel as masc nonbinary (he/they)! so I feel like Daniel wld b pretty comfortable w his identity, he’s never rly had a reason not to be (it’s rly anyone’s guess here tho bc we never see Eric + Daniel + Kate... as a family unit, for obvious reasons), so I feel like he’s vry chill abt it? and in the scenario where Eric survives n is dating Adam, I feel like Daniel wld talk 2 him abt it first (Adam is an adult they quickly come to trust + he’s vocal abt being trans himself so there’s that added layer of understanding - other than his mom maybe Adam might b the first person they come out 2). they’re just kinda like “so I wanna tell my dad I’m nonbinary but like I’ve literally never thought abt coming out what do I do” and Adam’s just like. Aha. bc he knows Eric is Also Trans so like, he doesn’t tell Daniel that bc it’s not his info to share, but he’s definitely like “oh it’ll totally be fine. trust me you have no reason to worry” so Daniel’s just like Okay. I Got This

+ I know I mentioned this in dms but Daniel wld absolutely wear those floral ripped hem skirts over jeans, so I feel like on one of his visits to his dad’s, he just. wears that combined w a completely random niche graphic tee he bought when shopping w Adam (I adore this hc n I am Holding Onto It) n is just like. not super open abt it bc he doesn’t know what to expect? he just kinda waits fr Eric to comment on it but when he doesn’t, Daniel gets nervous n is like “do I look okay?” and Eric’s rly chill abt it, like “yeah! it looks vry cool, vry alternative.” n like Daniel is relieved, of course, but also he’s just like God Pls Say Something so he just comes out w it like “okay this is not working. I’m nonbinary.”

and he’s COMPLETELY SHOCKED when Eric is just like “oh why didn’t u say so? do u have a different name u wanna go by? is Daniel still okay?” bc he wasn’t sure how much Eric knew, so he’s just like “uh no Daniel is still good, he/they pronouns though” and Eric’s just like alright cool but internally Daniel’s just like ??????

n THAT is when Eric asks him 2 come sit out on th front steps w him n is just like. “I don’t think I ever told u this but I’m trans. I transitioned during training in my early 20s” n Daniel is nodding while internally he’s like Adam I’m gonna throttle u. he worked himself up fr NOTHING. he just kinda laughs abt it and Eric is like “are u good?” ‘cause he’s a lil worried but then Daniel just smiles and is like “yeah I’m fine! just realizing I had nothing 2 be worried abt” and it’s a rly good moment fr them. they sit out there together talking abt their experiences for quite a while n at some point Adam steps outside 2 find them deep in conversation + he just smiles n goes back inside bc he cares abt them both so much and seeing them talk like that makes him so 💞💞 (Eric is SO PROUD u can see it on his face)

ohhh gosh Mallick,,, I spend a lot of time thinking abt him actually. he’s just one of those characters I feel vry connected to (me 🤝 Mallick: Ambiguous Disorder 💕) n one I got surprisingly attached to? hello (he IS one of my f/os)

I feel like Mallick is a very lonely person at his core. the way he sort of clings to Brit (w out the whole like. adrenaline of being in very very real danger w ppl trying to kill u SEVERAL TIMES) somewhat confirms this fr me. this is someone who has no reason to look out fr him, no reason to keep protecting him when their fellow captives hit him over th head w a club or attempt to push him into a bathtub to ELECTROCUTE him, but she keeps doing it and he’s just. in awe of it a little bit? ‘cause she could just let Charles knock him tf out or let Luba push him in but she fights for him, some1 she has no obligation to n met fr the first time literally when they woke up.

the moment they share b4 they stick their arms into the saws to activate the 10 Pints of Sacrifice is so very vulnerable and maybe even a little tender. yes he calls her a monster, yes she calls him one back, neither of them deny it. it’s an admission and an acceptance. they’re monsters, sure, fine, okay. but they are monsters and they are in this together. Brit tells Mallick it’s okay when he says he can’t do this alone. she says okay, okay, it’s okay, we’ll go together. and they help each other secure their tourniquets and they stick their hands in together bc it’s the two of them, literally hand in hand, fighting for their lives n for each other n they’re in so so much pain but they are doing it TOGETHER. I lose it thinking abt it!!! they even have a head bonk moment!!! I very much feel like it has some cinematic parallels to Adam & Lawrence’s moment in SAW 2004!!!!

+ as u mentioned, we both share the thought that Brit likely died since she wasn’t present at Bobby’s meetings, and. I want to touch on how fucking despondent and lost Mallick looks when we see him again in 3D. lights on but no one’s home. I feel like for Mallick, losing Brit was losing the first chance at a real connection he’s had in god knows how long - and for him, that’s just very shattering. he’s been thru hell, he’s watched three people die right in front of him, he sawed his ARM IN HALF, n the person he went through all of that with didn’t make it. but he did. and I feel like for Mallick that’s just like... he doesn’t understand it. but he feels even lonelier than he ever has b4 because the One Person who was there w him thru it all, the one person who could ever possibly understand what happened that night, is gone.

the Mallick we see in V would NEVER sit down n willingly listen to Bobby Dagen’s bullshit abt loving yr scars n taking pride in the fact u survived. he wld hate that man with a passion n I am very much sure of this. the fact that he’s sitting in that chair looking numb and glassy-eyed and silent? Mallick is trying to find some1 to connect to, find a place where maybe he belongs. trying to fill that hole that losing Brit made. why else wld he be sitting there, listening to someone he would ordinarily tell to shove his self-love bullshit up his ass? he’s lost. he’s just trying to keep his head above water and find a way to shore even though everything in him is fighting not to. he’s adrift without her.

+ ALTERNATIVELY, bc the reality of that is just. crushing n maybe not where I needed 2 go, in the scenario where Brit survived + just doesn’t want to put up w Bobby’s bullshit, I imagine them to actually move in together after a lil bit of time getting 2 know each other better w out the pressure of “oh god we’re gonna die.” she kinda helps him build up a sense of self-worth bc GOD it’s practically non-existent n thinking abt possible reasons why makes me sad. she’s definitely just like “no, you do deserve to be cared for and you deserve help when you need it, you deserve good things n to be happy.” she just kinds shuts it down while still making sure to talk 2 him abt WHY he feels that way (she’s not dismissing, but she’s trying to nip it in th bud) n Mallick is just like. huh. bc no one’s really done that fr him before. but it rly does end up helping in the long run, even if it is a very slow pace toward actually getting 2 a place where he recognizes his own worth + realizes he deserves all the things he wants Brit 2 have too. they’re there for each other thru thick n thin and if they made it thru their game, they can make it thru anything.

#saw #art #daniel #eric #adam #mallick #brit #thank u so much I rly appreciated this #n it helped me get my mind off things a little #I'm rly glad my ask helped u too!!! mutual support hours #long post #thoughts separated by dashes bc I had Way More than I thought I did oops #asks

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perspective-series · 5 years

Text

Switched Perspective (12)

By: @arc852 and @hiddendreamer67

Warnings: Mentions of Past Trauma, Revenge, and Mention of Deceit

(Check the reblog for the links to the previous chapters and the prequel!)

This is a sequel to A Third Perspective! Read that first or you will be confused!

Prepare yourselves guys...

Smirking, Virgil poked Logan’s side. “Logan, wake up.” He said.

Logan let out a groan, startled by the pressure to his side. He sat up slightly, rubbing at his eyes beneath his glasses before taking in his surroundings. Looking up at Virgil and realizing this hadn’t all been some elaborate dream, Logan turned an ashen gray. “...oh.”

“Yeah, ‘oh’ is right. And guess what?” Virgil leaned in real close. “It’s just the two of us now.”

Logan tried to back away but was stopped when he collided with Virgil’s curled fingers forming a wall. Why were they alone? Where had Thomas gone? Why had he ever listened to that idiot Roman? He should have told Patton when he still had the chance.

“They’ll come back for me,” Logan said, although even he wasn’t so sure. Had everyone agreed this was for the best? Was it a group decision to sacrifice him to Virgil?

Virgil hummed. “Maybe, but by then it’ll have been too late.” Virgil changed his grip so he was now holding Logan in a fist. “You’ll already be broken. Just like I was.” He moved the beaker closer and dropped Logan inside, watching him through the glass.

“This look familiar to you?”

Logan tumbled against the smooth glass, hitting his head in the fall on the wall hard enough to certainly leave a bump. He groaned, putting a hand to his head as he stood up. Looking at Virgil through the glass distorted the view, making Virgil appear even more ghastly and threatening than before.

“Yes.” Logan was hesitant, but he knew he couldn’t get away without giving Virgil answers.

“Hmm, thought so. How about this.” Virgil picked up the notebook and held it up, waving it in Logan’s line of sight. “Hope you don’t mind, but I sorta destroyed everything in it.” Virgil opened up the journal, revealing the ripped pages. He shrugged and kicked the paper at his feet for good measure.

“That’s fair,” Logan admitted. Though he hated seeing one of his beloved notebooks torn to shreds, he did have to destroy the borrower evidence kept inside anyways. Hopefully, it had at least been therapeutic for Virgil to be the one to do it.

Virgil glared at him, having hoped for a better reaction. He huffed and took a seat at the desk. He grabbed the gloves and made a show of putting them on, before grabbing a pencil and opening the notebook in front of him. “...I wonder how tall you are?” Virgil asked out loud, pretending to look deep in thought as he looked Logan over.

“Oh, but would you look at that, you’re moving way too much to be able to get an accurate reading,” Virgil said, despite the fact Logan was completely still. He reached his hand in, and in similar fashion to what Logan had done to him, pressed him up against the glass. “There we go.” He went ahead and wrote down the number.

Logan let out a slight groan, his head injury pressing up against the glass in an uncomfortable fashion. “...how tall am I?” Logan had the guts to say, curious about if his borrower height differed from Virgil’s.

“Huh, you’re actually my height. Or, er, my borrower height.” Virgil said before he blinked and glared at Logan. “Wait a second, no!” He took his hand away, letting Logan fall to the bottom of the glass again.

“You’re supposed to be scared. Not asking me questions.” Virgil growled out. Why did Logan have to be so frustrating?

“Oh, I am scared.” Logan clarified, brushing off his clothing. And he was, but Logan knew this was mostly instinctual fear and thus could be suppressed. Also, the glass barrier between them made Logan feel a bit bolder. “But I also know you’re not going to hurt me. Of course, that’s assuming your own word can be trusted.”

“No, no, no.” Virgil shook his head. “You’re supposed to be panicking and shaking and-and crying just like I was!” This wasn’t working, his idea wasn’t working. Fine, new plan.

Virgil stood up so he was towering over Logan. He took off the gloves before reaching in and grabbing Logan in a fist, taking him out and holding him close to his face. “Fine. Then let’s talk, hmm? Because I just got a very interesting call from a certain someone just before you got here.”

“Wait, what?” Logan was now nervous, not sure what was going on. At least when Virgil was doing his little bit of repeating Logan’s own actions, Logan could predict what would happen next. The uncertainty was a mystery Logan didn’t wish to explore.

“Yeah. Professor Dee. You know, the one you were going to show me off to? Well, he called about wanting his cage back...and the occupants inside.” Virgil glared and tightened his grip a little more, not enough to hurt him though. “He told me you had discussed it before.” Virgil shook his head.

“Looks like I was right about you after all.”

“L-Let me explain myself!” Logan spoke up frantically, feeling the grip slowly tightening around him. “It was when we were searching for my phone. The dean began to threaten me and asked for me to give him both in exchange for knowledge about the phone’s whereabouts.”

“But-!” Logan rapidly finished his explanation. “I only agreed to his deal because he asked for the cage and its current occupants. You and Patton were safely in Roman’s care at the time, so all I promised was an empty cage. Which I was planning on returning, regardless.”

“And why should I believe you?” Virgil asked, throwing his free hand up for emphasis. He then pointed it at Logan. “You already planned on doing it once before, I can’t imagine it would be too hard to convince you to do it again.” He thought back to another thing Dee had said. “Especially if it counted towards your masters program, which you seem to care a lot about.” Anything to do with school, it seemed Logan cared a lot about.

“Virgil, you know how I acted,” Logan argued. “You are the one individual who saw me at my worst. I was calloused and calculating and cruel. My sole motivation in life was to impress Professor Dee and get myself into that masters program. That presentation was my best chance, and all I had to do was give you up. Certainly, if I was going to turn you in that was the optimal time to do it. So why didn’t I do it then?”

“I don’t know! Maybe you actually did have a change of heart there for a while, maybe not. Either way, how do I know that Dee didn’t convince you to just do it? You were adamant on keeping us after all, of putting us in this cage.” He motioned towards the cage. “Maybe Dee said you’d be able to keep Patton if you turned me in! Because clearly, you liked him much better than me, what with how Patton is way too friendly for his own good and you could take advantage of that.”

“I wasn’t trying to take advantage of Patton!” Logan insisted. “I was trying to positively bond with both of you, but given my behavior upon our first meeting, it’s no surprise my efforts failed there. But regardless of my failures, I had-have- no intention of turning either of you into that insane failure of a scholar.”

Virgil grit his teeth. “Fine, let's say I believe you. That doesn’t negate the fact you still wanted to keep us, even as Roman agreed to let us go. You simply agreed because you knew you wouldn’t be able to stop Roman, but if it wasn’t for him both Patton and I would be sitting in that cage.”

“For your own good!” Logan blurted out, before realizing that Virgil would not see it the same way.

Virgil’s eyes twitched. “For our...own good.” Virgil stared at Logan. “And what could you possibly mean by that?” Virgil growled, his anger quickly becoming out of control.

“W-Well…” Logan whimpered slightly, leaning as far back as Virgil’s fist allowed. “You kept hurting yourself trying to escape, and I thought...if there was someplace you could stay without being able to harm yourself…” Logan trailed off; even he noticed how weak his argument sounded.

“Harming myself-? Wait.” Virgil raised an eyebrow. “You mean when I was running against the beaker, right? Well, newsflash nerd, but I wouldn’t be trying to harm myself if I hadn’t been trying to escape.” Virgil sighed.

“You really think keeping me trapped would have fixed that? No.” Virgil sneered, bringing Logan closer. “Any other reasons you think it would have been ‘good’ for us?”

“S-Shelter?” Logan cringed, trying to offer up all his reasons so that maybe Virgil would take pity on him. Of course, both knew that was highly unlikely. “Food? Water? Higher standard of living? Warmth? Protection?”

Virgil leaned back, narrowing his eyes. “...Are you saying we can’t take care of ourselves? That we’re completely helpless when it comes to surviving? Besides, even if we were, what right do you have to make that decision for us? Huh?”

“I-I know that now!” Logan backpedaled. “It’s a common human error, assuming a lesser species is incapable of sustaining itself. I had no right to try and interfere with the delicate borrower ecosystem.”

“No, you didn’t.” Virgil was getting tired of this. He couldn’t tell for sure whether Logan was saying was the truth or not. For all Virgil knew, everything he said could be a lie, a way to save himself from Virgil. Virgil stood up, Logan still in hand.

He silently made his way to the door, opening it and heading up the stairs, past the fifth floor and still going.

“Uh, V-Virgil?” Logan asked quietly, trying to duck down. He was worried by Virgil’s behavior. Usually, Virgil was so focused on keeping borrowers a secret, yet now he carried Logan out into the stairwell without a care in the world. Logan’s concern only grew when he noticed them pass Roman’s floor. There was only one thing above the 5th floor: the roof.

Virgil had been to the roof many times as a borrower. It was peaceful, especially at night and it allowed him a quiet space to think. Virgil looked up, the stars were out and looking down below, there didn’t seem to be anyone out and about. It was just Virgil and Logan outside tonight.

Perfect.

Logan shivered, a cold breeze blowing over his head. The altitude made the air especially freezing on his tiny frame.

“Virgil, why are we up here?” Logan asked, hating the look on Virgil’s face and the fact the human wasn’t answering his questions.

Virgil didn’t answer, instead going over to the edge of the building. He did smirk at the fear in Logan’s voice though. His other plan hadn’t worked, hadn’t caused as much fear as he had hoped. Nowhere close to what he had felt. So...maybe this would.

He reached the hand holding Logan out, past the edge of the building.

A drop of five stories if Virgil were to let go.

#gt #Giant/tiny #thomas sanders #sanders sides #infinitesimal!sides #au #borrowers #virgil sanders #switched!virgil #logan sanders #switched!logan #platonic #analogical #switched perspective #part 12

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askdawnandvern · 5 years

Photo

Vernon: Er...I don't know iffin' I want to touch on that.

Zach: C'mon now Vern, the little Miss ain't here fer this one. So it ain't like it's gonna make her feel bad.

Vernon: What if she reads this later?

Vanna: Not to put more strain on you Vernon, but if I recall Dawn is quite adamant about facing the truth in order to heal. She doesn't want to 'forget' what she did so that she can continually strive to be a better mammal.

Vernon: Yeah, but hearin' the same stories constantly can't be good fer long term moral. How many times we gotta talk about these experiences before it's 'enough'?

Dorian: One last time then? Fer the sake of who asked it. After that, we'll try and avoid this kinda talk from now on.

Vernon: *Sigh* Fine...Well....Durin' the incident I was in college, studyin' architecture. When it first came to light that preds were goin' 'Savage', most of the folks at school thought it was some sorta disease.

Vanna: There was a similar sentiment at the ZPD. Although there were a few who feared-.

Vernon: That it really did have something to do with a preds 'nature'?

Vanna: *Nods*

Vernon: Well there were no shortage of them folks too, especially among the prey students. Eventually, protests broke out, prey protestin' preds goin' to school durin' the epidemic, preds standing up for their rights to go. I tried to keep my head down and out of it, focusin' on the schoolwork and leavin' my personal worries about the howler fer when I was home. But eventually things got so bad most of the pred folk were permitted to stay home and finish out their classes online to avoid any trouble on campus, and I took the out.

Zach: We had to deal with a lot of sheep protestin', neighbors we thought we knew startin' to look at us sideways.

Dorian: Prey became more aggressive outta fear, made 'em less cooperative with us preds in law-enforcement. Then as things got worse a bunch of our pred officers started stayin' home and refusin' to work. They were afraid of turnin' on a neighbor or innocent citizen at the drop of a hat due to whatever the howler was. That left us purty strained, lots of long shifts on nothin' but coffee fumes and collapsing into bed as soon as we finally got home only to get about two to three hours sleep at most.

Vanna: The ZPD also started losing officers in droves. Those preds who didn't see themselves shifted to out of sight desk positions either resigned or took out all their vacation days in order to wait out the storm, even if there didn't seem to be an end in sight.

Yuri: Seaodder didn't see to much of a frenzy over it. I mean there were o' course the hushed whispers of stuff among the preds on the force and a few prey perps, but generally the fact that it hadn't spread outside of Zootopia's borders kept it from affectin' thangs all too much.

Xavier: It was similar in San Francisgoat, although it was definitely more talked about. Nearly every public television was constantly fixed to ZNN, keeping the howler epidemic on almost every mammal's mind.

Malcolm: It was a frequent topic of conversation at the diner. Pred and prey musin' over the cause, arguments sometimes breakin' out whenever someone started to lean on what that bunny said might of been the cause. Had to kick a few customers out over them kinda scrapes.

Xavier: On the streets however, most mammals were still civilized. No riots, no protests. If it wasn't in our state, it wasn't urgent.

Trenton: Durin' the Howler scare, I got a lot of uncomfortable glares from the various burrowfolk I had to deal with. Not that I didn't get them before, there just was a sharp uptick. It weren't all that much of a surprise though. In the burrows, old beliefs die hard, and new 'evidence' just provides vindication.

Qali: It was hard not just for my family, but our community. Foxes glen is largely a pred town. Foxes, wolves, a stray puma or bear. Our prey population is very small. But during the howler epidemic it got that much smaller. A lot of the prey folk went on long term trips to stay with family, and some went as far as moving out entirely. Thankfully it didn't cut into the local economy too sharply, but it took a bit of a toll on moral, and it made a lot of us scared that our farms would go under due to the pervading fear of predators cutting our customer count during harvest season.

Wade: I was put behind a desk, as was my partner. Of course, it was a huge strain on Precinct three, not just because we were put behind the desk, but more than half of our staff was. I mean, it's no secret that the Tundratown ZPD is made up largely of pred officers. The other precincts had to help pick up the slack, and they were already strained as it was. As fer my personal life, I played it like Vern. Kept my head down, limited myself to work and home, and to occasional grocery pick up. I was just prayin' it would all blow over soon.

Ada: While it may have been easy for ol' Yuri dere, da hospital was hell. Wese always had an issue wit employee retention, but neva was it more strained den durin' da night howler ting. I mean, da hospital was considad ground zero at da time in toims of gettin' infected. Most preds taught it was a disease, and so woikin' a hospital was a big risk in most o' dere eyes. It also made prey patient more scared of bein' treated by pred doctas' to da point where we always had to have a big, honkin' prey nurse accompany every prey docta around to put da patient at ease.

Audrey: Thankfully it wasn't the season for corn and pies or I'm sure my stall woulda suffered fer it, but I still got looks from the neighbors, hell even old friends. Mammals I knew since I was a pup even hesitated around me just a might. They may not a thought I noticed, but I did. I can't say it didn't make me sad, but I can't say I blame 'em either.

Vernon: Afterward? Well I mean things mostly went back to how they was. Sure, there was a few pred supremacist marches and so on, but the quickly tapered off as the majority of the city seemed more interested in mendin' the wounds. Most mammals weren't willin' to hear out folk blamin' 'all sheep' fer what happened, rather than the actual...er...culprit...and I'm thankful for that.

Dorian: It was worse up here, as y'all know. The native wolves dug in sharply, takin' the opportunity of what Dawn did to try and draw more folks into their way of thinkin'. And of course, y'all know what happened next...

Zach: I still don't regret it. If not for saving that little lambs life, than for the damage the shooting did to that little attempt at a native wolf revival movement. Pretty much all support fer anti-prey sentiment dried up thanks to that nut and his pistol.

Wade: Me and my partner went right back on duty. It was almost as if nothing had changed, which was kind of a relief. I was afraid there would be a dark cloud hanging over the station ferever after what happened. But hey, that's the Tundra Town way I guess, resilient in the face of unyielding cold and what not.

Qali: While the mammals who moved away never actually returned, maybe because it was easier, or maybe out of shame, the other families did. Most of the prey who returned went above and beyond to apologize to everyone they could, of course most refused to accept the apology, my Dad included.

Ada: Dat's cold.

Qali: Not like that. I mean they felt that their neighbors had nothing to apologize for. Most of them felt that had they been in the shoes of their prey neighbors, they would have done the same, especially if the had kits. Still, that didn't stop most of the pred families from getting buried in baked goods. *giggles*

Vanna: I transferred to the North Meadowlands, so my experience was muted significantly. By the time I was working with Zach, the tension in the community was fading fast.

Macolm: Things purty much went back to normal at my diner. The arguments over what was the cause o' the whole night howler problem went right back to arguin' over who's sport team was the best.

Xavier: Only thing that changed for me at that point was an uptick in discrimination suits. Most of the prey discriminating predator out of fear of the whole night howler issue when it was thought to be an illness or mental problem. Despite the case being solved, those civil suits still needed to be settled regardless, although if I remember most of the prey mammals in those cases ended up settling.

Ada: Da hospital was still strained o' course, but it was less bad den it was durin' da whole epidemic. Da patients got less finnicky about who took care of 'em, and we even managed to snag some new recruits afta a few weeks to lessen da load on da rest of us.

Audrey: After what happened to Zach, any bit o' hesitation on the part of my neighbors and friends kinda vanished overnight, instead replaced with guilty admissions and lump sum payments in baked goods.

Vernon: I hope y'all got what ya wanted to hear from this...I don't imagine it was too entertainin'...

Wade: Kind of a downer really...

Vernon: But now we never have to talk about this again...I hope.

#Zootopia #askdawnandvern #ask blog #Assistant Mayor Bellwether #zoosona #fan character #wastedtimeee

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poppyssupergirl · 7 years

Text

Just Another Balcony Conversation

This is for Sol, one of my favoritest boobity boos, who donated to my ClexaCon fund (which you can also donate to, if you want your very own fic, just message me here on Tumblr). @thequeenofnationalcity ‘s prompt was:

Hey, you don't ever have to do this but if you'd like to, could you write a fic for any supergirl ship where one person declares love and the other doesn't immediately steal them into a kiss, and they talk about it before finally having their first kiss? If you wanted. Thanks (this has a heart but Tumblr is trash and deletes everything after the little less-than-3 symbol so just imagine that there’s a heart here okay??)

Which was a really cool prompt and I enjoyed thinking it through! Thankies again, boobity boo, you are the bestest and I adore your entire being :3

And thank you to @the-queen-of-the-light for the beta, you a fab as all get out and I lurve your face!

If you’d rather read this over on AO3, that link is Here.

There, it's out in the wind, off her chest. She feels lighter, broader, everything. The breeze blows her hair back and this warm night is perfect.

Cat blinks and sighs and it's not that Kara expected her to leap off the balcony and into her arms but… she'd seen the signs. Cat loves her. This resigned sigh and Cat backing away from her, backing away until she's collapsing on the lounger behind her, is not what Kara'd hoped for.

It's confusing and Kara frowns as she hovers just beyond the balcony. She knows Cat, knows her tells, and right now everything reads ‘fatigue’. But Kara feels light and energized, why would Cat be tired? They love each other, it's obvious… isn't it?

“I know.” It's another sigh and that only adds to Kara's confusion.

“You know?” She blinks and frowns. “Why didn't you-?”

Cat hums and presses her whiskey glass between her hands. “Why didn't I say anything?”

Kara nods, rests her hands on the balcony so she can hold onto something.

“Because I thought it was just an infatuation.”

And that's not it, her feelings aren't some fleeting- it's been three years. Two years since Supergirl made an appearance. Less than a year since she donned her cape in Cat's presence.

She opens her mouth but Cat's raised hand stops her.

“I know- I know it's not an infatuation.” And she stops there and looks at her glass but she doesn't rise to fill it. “That you're serious, but Kara, that's even worse.”

Nothing makes sense. It's like she's learning English all over again and Cat has an accent she's never heard before. The concrete under her hands creaks and she breathes out much too harshly. “Why?”

Cat laughs. Laughs a short, bitter thing and gestures between the two of them. “How could this ever work? We're too different; my cynicism would whittle away at your hope and you'd-”

“Cat.” She's furious. Her face feels hot, the concrete beneath her fingers trembles. “Do not put words into my mouth. Do not guess at my intentions. You want cynicism?” She stops and stares at Cat.

But Cat says nothing. The only tells that she's listening are the twitch of her brow and her unwavering stare.

“What about a dead planet, Cat? What about going every day wondering if everyone I love will be taken from me just because I wear this cape?” She floats up and over the railing. She won't be at a lower height than Cat for this.

“What about the absolute knowledge that, if I am not killed in battle, I will outlive every human who walks this Earth right now?” She feels like shouting, like screaming, because all of this has lived in her for over a decade and Cat's ignoring it for excuses. “What about the fact that there's no one left who shares my culture, that when I die, there will be no one to send me to Rao.”

Her mind works so much faster, she's already thought of all of this through. “Is that enough cynicism for you, Cat?” She doesn't lean into Cat's space, it's not a threat. She's just so angry.

Cat nods but holds her gaze. “Fair. But I'm not easy to lov-”

“You think I don't know that? You think I don't know how stubborn and downright mean you can be?” Kara throws her head back and laughs and Cat stands with a frown. But suddenly Kara isn't angry anymore. They need to talk, they need this. “Cat I've loved you for three years, even after being your assistant.”

That stops Cat. Stops her forward step, makes her blinks, and oh, she didn't know. But how? How could she not know how long Kara's loved her?

“Cat, I didn't say you were perfect. I said “I love you”. That's not going to change anytime soon.” She shifts her weight forward, but doesn't take a step. “Besides, I'm just as hard to love when you can see my bad days too.”

The lines in Cat's face pop and Kara reads ‘worry’. “Bad days? Like the red-”

Kara’s already shaking her head before Cat can finish. “Those are bad days, but not what I'm talking about.” She pauses and listens to the traffic far below, narrows in on a woman chatting with her girlfriend.

“I mean the days where I can't filter out the noise and light. Where I can't save everyone. Where knowing I'll be alone, eventually, is too much.” She bites her cheek, ending the spill of words she hasn’t even said to Alex yet.

Cat doesn’t say anything and Kara isn’t looking at her. She’s still focusing on the street below, the pool of air in Cat’s lungs too much right now. She wants to make Cat understand. They’ll be good together, that’s already been proven. They’ve sat together on late nights, they’ve built Supergirl, and Rao above, they’ve saved the world multiple times.

Their past interactions don’t assure a good relationship, Kara knows that. But if they aren’t a good indication of a positive outcome, then nothing is.

Cat clears her throat and that pulls Kara’s attention back to the balcony. “I may… not have given you my best reasons first.” She sighs and pulls in a deeper breath, Kara holds her own, silently. “I’m a lot older than you-”

Kara opens her mouth but Cat holds up her hand. “And that brings a different view on life and the world. We won’t agree on everything, obviously. Relationships are hard, as you know, and not a single thing comes easy.” She pushes out a loud breath, almost a laugh. “Not even breakfast choices.”

She’s not done, so Kara doesn’t interrupt. “I have two children who I will, without a shadow of a doubt, always put first. If they have issues with us being together that we can’t work out…” She frowns and Kara nods. That was never in question.

“And you have friends who will do their best to talk you out of this.” Again, Kara’s stopped from rescinding by Cat’s raised hand. “As my friends will try the same. Most likely, no one we know will be approving of this, not even to mention what the media will say.”

“We both have responsibilities that are bigger than ourselves or those around us. We’ll both be working ridiculous hours and a relationship needs time to be successful.” Cat stops and breathes out. “Press Secretary isn't a plush job and neither is Superhero-ing.”

She looks up at Kara, fully meeting her gaze. “Those are only the obvious downsides. There are, of course, the things we don't know about each other that may clash.” She steps forward and Kara leans back just a tad. “You have days where being a Superhero isn't going to be good. We both have baggage that could kill any horse and I could go on and on about how poorly our wardrobes work together.”

There's that smirk again. It pulls a tiny smile from Kara too. But both their smiles are fleeting in the reality Cat's presented.

“That being said... “ Cat trails off, dropping eye contact, and her heartbeat skips. She presses her palm to her pants and flips her other hand in front of her. “There are upsides to relationships and I would be willing to hear any rebuttals you may wish to voice now.”

Kara smiles and nods. She doesn't answer immediately, but she already has her arguments planned out. She's still kind of reeling how much thought Cat’s put into it all of this, into them. Though… she always thinks the situation through, perhaps she shouldn’t be surprised at all.

“Your age doesn't matter.” She starts and Cat's eyes are back on her, razor-focused. “Anyone I'd begin a relationship with will die long before I will no matter their age now, should I just never have a relationship for fear of loss?”

That causes Cat to swallow and close her eyes in acknowledgment. It’s a good argument, probably Kara’s strongest, and Kara knows it. Cat thrives on logic, but this isn’t all about logic.

Kara smiles down at their feet. “Plus, we both know our worldviews are much more similar than you'll ever admit out loud.”

Cat scoffs and Kara grins up at her. “And bringing up food was a mistake, you know I'll eat almost anything.” She nudges forward and that brings the slightest of flushes to Cat's cheeks.

Yeah, she's seen the signs.

“You have Carter and Adam, I know, and you know I would never come between the three of you. I have Alex, and I trust you to never come between the two of us.” At that, Cat nods and Kara reaches out to brush a strand of hair out of her eyes.

“Besides…” Kara scuffs her boot on the balcony cement and blushes a bit herself. “She sorta, kinda thinks we've been in a secret relationship for about six months now…”

Cat's eyes widen and she snorts. “Carter's got her beat by almost four months then.”

That's not what Kara's expecting at all and her face flushes even more. Maybe… maybe their friends will only find relief in their relationship. “So, that point you had about our friends might be moot by now.” She gets an eyeroll and a hand on her forearm for that and her chest feels tight and warm.

Kara tries to sober her smile though. “But you're right about our jobs and responsibilities. However, I'd just like to point out that I can travel well over the speed of sound, so… perhaps finding time together won't be so difficult?”

That pulls a smile from Cat, one if her small, soft ones. That's what had drawn Kara in initially, these little glimpses of softness that came more and more frequently as they spent time together. The hand at her forearm squeezes and Kara takes another tiny step forward.

She drops her voice to a whisper because some words are still hard to say, harder to hear. “And yeah, I have bad days and so do you. But that's the point of a relationship, isn't it? Supporting each other.”

Cat nods and closes her eyes, thinking. Her heart's still beating a little quickly but Kara, for once, doesn't have that need to know what's in her mind. She's pretty sure she knows what's on Cat's mind, considering she's floating outside a penthouse suite in Washington, DC. She moves her hand to touch Cat's on her arm but Cat opens her eyes.

“Well, I suppose your rebuttals are rather convincing. So, you're up for all of this then? You know, me, the pomp, the media, that's going to be rough.” Cat inches a little closer and eyes her hand and yeah-

“I'm sure.” She blinks and frowns. “I don't plan on dating you as Supergirl though.” And maybe that's what Cat thought, oh gosh, and she wouldn't want to date her former assistant publicly, of course of cou-

“Good. Because I don't want to publicly date Supergirl.” Cat quirks a smirk and it's like butterflies take off in Kara's stomach. “The windblown hair look is good on me, I know, but far too much maintenance.”

Kara chuckles, of course of course, that's the only issue. She reaches her hand out, slowly, and Cat laces their fingers together and there's the soft smile she'd fallen for all those years ago. It twists down though and Kara squeezes her hand gently.

“There's going to be a lot of talk about a boss and her former assistant though.” She squints at Kara and raises her right hand to straighten the collar of a suit that won't wrinkle.

Kara reaches up and takes that hand too. “It's a good thing you're not my boss anymore then, hmm?” She takes the last step forward between them and she can hear Cat's heartbeat, thud-thudding in her chest. “And I think I can survive the press just fine.” She stops and blinks, pulling back a little. “But what about Carter and Adam?”

That's when Cat kisses her. Pushes up on tiptoe to press their lips together and Kara startles so it's short but then Kara leans down and oh. Cat feels like coming home.

She wraps her arms around Cat's waist and splays a hand across her back, pulling her closer. The lips she’s wanted for so, so long are warm and pliant and when Cat bites at her bottom lip, Kara’s sure her knees will give out beneath her. It’s a damn wonder she hasn’t plummeted through the cement.

Cat pulls back after Kara groans and that’s maybe for the best because Kara’s not sure she could stop if they kept going. Cat’s heady like a drug and Kara’s never been this high before.

She takes a moment to breathe, not opening her eyes, and Cat’s still pressed up against her. “I think-” She swallows and licks her lips, feels Cat hum out over her skin. “I think, if we’re making a ‘pro-con’ list, that should go in the ‘pro’ list.”

The chuckle that that pulls washes over Kara and that should go on the ‘pro’ list too.

“So,” Cat husks, husks, in her ear and Kara’s got to disengage now. They should really go on a date first. “What else is on your ‘pro’ list?”

“Dinner.” And Cat pulls away with a confused smile and Kara rushes to clarify. “Dinner, with you, at the same time, like y’know. Uhm.”

Cat’s confusion is gone, it’s all smirks and wow, it’s gotta be the emotional whiplash that has Kara in such a daze. “A date? Are you finally asking me out on a date?”

“Finally?” Kara repeats the word because that would mean- “You’ve wanted me to ask you out on a date?” Which seems like a rather silly question when Cat is nearly pressed flat against her but Kara’s doing her best. “I mean, for how long?”

Cat licks her lips and winks and what that’s even supposed to mean is completely beyond Kara but she can kiss Cat. So she does… a couple of times. But really, a date first.

She pulls away and Cat wraps her arm around her shoulders, “Not so fast, we have time to make up for.” Kara’s pulled in for another kiss and her earpiece buzzes.

Now is not the time, Not with a capital N but the world doesn’t stop turning so Kara places her hands on Cat’s hips and pushes her back, holding her still when she attempts to step forward. “So, y- you are really good at that, that is definitely on the ‘pro’ list. So is this dress, this is a nice dress, and so is this balcony actually.”

Cat doesn’t seem impressed with the distance between them and squirms in her hold, which does nothing to ease Kara’s soon departure. “As much as I enjoy your displays of strength, Kara, why are you all the way over there?” Her hands trace over the Zor-El seal at Kara’s chest and that’s when Kara pushes off the balcony.

She’s not going to sleep with Cat right now. “We should really do dinner first.”

Cat looks about half a second from pitching herself off the balcony after Kara, glaring in that way that makes board members cave to her demands. “We’ve done many dinners, Kara. Many late nights, many daring rescues where I’ve been held in your arms long enough to give a woman thoughts, Kara. I must say, I wasn’t expecting to have to chase your skirt so early in this relationship.”

And that’s just a lot all of a sudden, cause Cat’s pulse is hammering and it’s Kara she’s looking at like she wants to devour and seriously, why in all of good Rao’s graces is her earpiece still buzzing? “But those weren’t real dates, we should- should do a real date.”

“Kara Zor-El Danvers, if you fly away right now, I swear you will regret it.”

“I already do, but there’s also an alien and y’know we talked about the Superhero-ing thing and it being bigger than the both of us and-”

“Yes but I’ve never had the lesbian version of cock-blocking happen because of an alien before. Though…” and Kara’s half out of the sky at hearing Cat say ‘cock-block’ already what in the world could- “Depending on what you’re into, that is an equally fitting descriptionary phrase.”

Kara’s not going to make it. Her earpiece keeps buzzing but her mind is already shut down. No one, not even Alex, will believe her if she tells them that Cat Grant casually said ‘cock-block’ to get Kara into bed with her. She’s not thinking at all, it’s true, and she runs.

She’ll hear about the tree she took out in the morning, Alex is never going to let that go, but for now she’s got a Trethis that doesn’t understand anything but common galactic…

#supercat #talks #sol is a boo #the closest I will come to writing angst #it's not angst cause it makes sense #it is a sensible convo to have that does not drag on for a million years because adults can solve problems woooooooooooooooo

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