#but i dont have it yet so keep praying for me i am doing literally all i can
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sorry I exploded while getting back to people about commissions. had a train wreck of a week
#both of the family members i live with have it and they arent very good at isolating. or cleaning#not even wiping down handles. one doesn't even mask. I'm in hell#but i dont have it yet so keep praying for me i am doing literally all i can#not art
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Space Opera AU dashboard simulator
🥧 syrupstars Follow
Anyone else think that Red King racer is a little... y'know... fruity?
👑 falsewellsupremacy Follow
He literally says "ladies, gentlemen, everyone in between, get in line" so I think that answers your question.
🥧 syrupstars Follow
What about the "#Ally4Life 🏳️🌈" on his Twilight handle?
👑 falsewellsupremacy Follow
I genuinely have no idea. Maybe he thinks it's about him being an ally to cishet people
#idk ren's just like that sometimes #void knows what he's doing #also prev tags you do not want to get into the black hole of who ren has dated #he has rumours with 3/4 of the grid #edit: WHO MENTIONED BAD BOY TEENAGE REN IN MY NOTES #the shippers are here... oh no #edit 2: not ren at the club.
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🛑 bluebatshater Follow
oh my voiddd ofc That Duo got p1 again... i need them to dnf in the race. i hope they crash and burn and die and i need crastle to get podium for ONCE. i am so mad. i am calling for the goddess tsuki to curse them. dnf dnf crash burn DIE
🌻 lesbianlumian Follow
the goddess tsuki LITERALLY protects racers and that's why they pray to her? you think the goddess tsuki, creator of lumians, will curse an actual lumian? be so fucking fr
🛑 bluebatshater Follow
if you dont have anything productive to say get off my post. freak
#those blue bats stannies are SO ANNOYING THEY ARE EVERYWHERE #they're overshadowing all the other teams #cant even be a bitchy hater in peace #salt #negativity #hateposting
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🔮 queenofstarz03 Follow
OMG FALSE IS SO PRETTY SHES MY QUEEN OF HEARTS OMG OMGOMGOGM 💖💖💖💖💖💖 i tihnk im gonna pass out. HER HAIR FLYING IN THE WIND AND HER RED FRECKLES AND HER SMILE WHY IS MY HEART BEATING SO FAST and Ren is hot I guess he's tall like a ferris wheel
🔮 queenofstarz03 Follow
Looking at posts from five years ago is funny like how did I ever believe I was straight
🍦 jelliepopsicle Follow
OP, I think I recognise your url... did you write that viral Bad Boy Ren x QoH fic on Launchpad?
🔮 queenofstarz03 Follow
💀 Shut the fuck up right NOWWW!!
#STOP MENTIONING THAT FIC I WFOTE WHEN I WAS THIRTEEEN!!! #everything before my gay awakening is not canon. sorry #tbh... as much as a nightmare it was i kinda miss that stupid fic #it was from a simpler time #now im in university trying to contact my groupmates and i think one of them got lost in a blackhole last tuesday (again) #sigh. this keeps on happening to me #my cousin worked on one of the moons last summer for two weeks and came back like he'd aged six months #my friend's ex got sucked into a black hole and was briefly spaghettified but they managed to revive her and she gloats that she's finally taller than my friend's ex #whoops sorry for dumping in the notes #anyways. bad boy rk x good girl queen of hearts. awful idea. even more awful fic. yet i wrote it #i regret everything and nothing
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🗣️ peace-and-planets-deactivated63891092
PSA: Sunblr user @/summerheavens writes RPF of the Exterra 1 racers. She is a big name fan in the Miraculous Laserbug fandom so I thought you all would like to know. This is gross and disgusting behaviour and I implore you to stop.
🍬 summerheavens Follow
umm @/peace-and-planets i literally saw your kudos on my fic. the evidence is out there. girl what are YOU doing at the devil's sacrament. what are you doing on my roseduo rpf titled "hang your head low in the glow of the vending machine (we're not trying)".
but i'm glad you liked it enough to give it a kudos ^_^ will certainly be putting more on the starchive!
❄️ justwingit Follow
LMFAOOOO OP DEACTIVATEDDDDD 😭😭😭 sunblr user got killed by a rpf author. if you're gonna secretly read rpf maybe not leave a kudos?????
🚀 exterrablrheritage
Exterra 1 Heritage Post
⚡ littlewoodbabygirl69
It's been ten years since this post... @/summerheavens are you okay after recent developments
🍬 summerheavens Follow
am i okay? is ANYONE okay??? in these trying times??????? with the most chaotic gp to ever exist?????? i am PULLING OUT WIPS i dropped out of respect ten years ago. i've got to send my kid to daycare but once i'm done you bet you're seeing me on the starchive. miss swift even dropped her 20th album just in time for me to use lyrics as titles. i am LIVING and i am THRIVING
#ohhhhhhhhhh #let's go #also can't believe taylor finally addressed the vehicle manslaughter rumours from like twenty years ago #how fitting #also littlewood needs to get his shit together #why does he look like he's the one who hasn't seen his man in 32738102371 years and got his soul shattered #he's weak and won't survive the winter
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🧈 butteredbread Follow
WHAT is wrong with that lykos. i desire him carnally
🌳 treebark
@/handoftheking
🪓 handoftheking
I mean... yeah. Let's face it, we're all like that 🤷
⭐ nonbinarystar Follow
MR LITTLEWOOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE
#WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM #I HATE HIM SO MUCH #PARASOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS CAN ALSO BE ABOUT HATE #THIS GLOWSTICK MF IS MY WORST ENEMY #he just canonised treebark for the sixth time #also prev tags so real #need to slingshot him into a faraway galaxy
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🫃 spaceshipmpreg Follow
Who put that Just a Dream FalseRen AMV on my dash again
🔮 queenofstarz03 Follow
Respect your roots!! That 125M views Just a Dream AMV raised a generation. Every kid in my school played it on loop on their ipods during recess
🔮 queenofstarz03 Follow
wait op can you explain your url
🫃 spaceshipmpreg Follow
No 👍
#i think we should get the dogwarts freighter pregnant
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#long post#space opera au#queenofstarz03 my beloved space internet npc#idk..... i lost my mind making this#was fun tho#girl help im stuck at the devils sacrament. im building the devil's sacrament#treebark#trafficshipping#hermitshipping#just in case#dashboard simulator#unreality
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The Stranger and my thoughts on where each LCB Sinner is at (Long)
Hey, I actually sat down and read L'etranger, Meursault's source novel. I've got some fucking feelings about it, especially relating it to Limbus Company and what it might mean for his Canto in like 2 years.
Firstly, you should read or listen to this book. It's short, surprisingly punchy, and easy to follow. I (probably) don't have autism but I can absolutely see a read of this where the character does or is neurodivergent in some other way; beyond his relationship and evaluation of social queues and norms he also seems to deal with sensory issues. There are better people than me who should talk about this and I'm probably not adding a lot to the conversation but keeping this reading in my head for the climax added an extra layer of discomfort (intentional discomfort for the benefit of the story's message, I should say) to the whole book. But It's worth experiencing even if you disagree with that reading or have a different one.
Limbus Brainrot/Spoiler stuff from here on in.
There's always the question of where exactly each Sinner is in their story as they're on the bus. Their stories have been reinterpreted and/or jumbled in ways that make it fun to guess, so to go over each Sinner and where they are based on what we know or my theories:
Yi Sang - I'm not gonna front, I don't really get The WIngs, but this seems like a Good End AU for him. He already escaped his "Wife's" control and the sunless room and is now flying again (metaphorically, or maybe literally? i dont know help me).
Faust - Likely in the middle of the part where she's using Mephistopheles' power to do good in the world and prior to her being damned to hell. Side note, she's last to get a Canto and I bet it's not a coincidence that (afaik) she and Dante are the only two with Hell in their stories directly. My long shot call is that Faust is also Beatrice and there will be so much DantexFaust ship art in 2026.
Don Quixote - The biggest enigma. La Sangre de Sancho has gripped the imagination of the fandom and I am no exception. She's next after Heathcliff so we'll get her some time in August at the latest and I can't wait. My best guess is she's currently gallivanting and will be forced home in her Canto, assuming Don is Sancho theory isn't true. Praying her Canto is called The Impossible.
Ryoshu - In Hell Screen, the reason the painter is obsessed with torture is that he can only paint what he has seen and is trying to paint the Buddhist Hell. In his quest for his art he destroys his life and those around him, and ends up committing suicide over it. But there is a villain in the form of the Lord who beyond driving the story by requesting the screen in the first place is guilty of SA and murder. I'm expecting we're post story; the Lord is related to the five fingers, the daughter might be recast as a friend or something, and the sword Ryoshu carries is likely the screen. Nothing revolutionary in my guesses here, but it's either going to be that straight-forward or insanely abstract, where she's the lord and the painter and the daughter and the screen and the sword is the monkey or some shit.
Hong Lu - I have not yet read Dream of a Red Chamber, it's next on the list. Forgive me!
Heathcliff - Oh boy. Like many, I expect he is post-spurning by Catherine and is on his journey for his fortune on the LCB. So, his Canto will be about coming home to a beloved who is with someone else. Yes, the beloved blorbo will suffer for my amusement. Let's go 3 hours Heathmael sex scene!
Ishmael - We now know her story already kinda happened, as many expected, making this a bizarre sequel to Moby Dick. I think it gave PM a lot of room to do whatever they wanted to while still sticking to the themes of the story. Already wrote about what I loved about this and the recontextualizing of Ahab as a whale unto herself (which I don't actually know if it's in the original novel, but it wouldn't surprise me).
Rodion - A weird one. Her inciting incident happened, the murdering of the landlord/pawnbroker, but the unintentional death of the innocent sister was shifted to the entire damn block. So if I had to guess she's in the period after her crime trying to avoid being caught, but no police officer allegory has really been introduced yet. I read Crime and Punishment years ago so I can't say for certain but it feels the most loosely adapted and suffers a tad for being part of the intro. Rodya's story is in no way finished so it's up in the air. Praying for a Petrovich just so people can meet the OG Columbo.
Sinclair - Still need to read Demian, but I have a rough understanding of the plot. Also unfinished in his story, Sinclair has a long way to go to his self-realization. This feels more intentional however, I remember someone made an observation of Cinqlair as representative of his drunken college years where he's popular but unfulfilled, and I think we can extend that to all of his IDs. He seems to have the most potential of all the Sinners, so much so that I wouldn't be surprised if there's a mirror world where he's a Color unto himself. I digress, the point is he's pre Frau Eva (who if she turn's out to be the Purple Tear I will lose my mind) who is also called Beatrice at some point so what's up with that PM?
Outis - Another big mystery, especially as she isn't Odysseus but Outis, a name referencing a particular part of the Odyssey with the Cyclops. I have to imagine she's on the Odyssey, journeying home after the Smoke War (which might have some parallels with the Trojan War beyond the obvious). It's interesting all the Greek myth named Abnormalities are Hospital themed, might be something there but nothing I can parse from my limited knowledge of Greek society and folklore. While she' might be a traitor, I'm thinking she's joined Limbus Company to hide while on her journey; she might be wanted dead by something and is concealing her identity after what happened in the war.
Greg - Again, a character post-story. He was locked in a room, he metamorphized, and... well he's alive? So we've diverged from the source novel, as it's taken the allegorical meanings and made them more literal, but Hermann is still around and a major player so who knows where this will go?
Meursault - I have so many thoughts. Meursault could be anywhere in his story, but I'm going to guess it's one of two places. First guess, we're completely pre story. His Canto opens with him getting a message that Maman died today, or maybe yesterday, he doesn't know. So the whole story plays out over the course of the Canto. But more likely, and my prediction, is that he's currently in "jail" awaiting his execution or acquittal. He has already murdered a man (or done some other crime) and instead of being tried for that, he has been tried and sentenced for his peculiarities of character. Bound in the chains of others, the multitudes have tightened their hold (I'm very clever and not cringe at all).
So I have to wonder what light blinded him, overwhelmed him so much that it led to his crime? The Bright Nights and Dark Days are an obvious choice, and I'm not the first to suggest it. Perhaps he distorted? Anyway, his story ends with him having given up on acquittal and instead hoping for a crowd of people hating him as he approaches the guillotine. I'm super interested in how this will play out in Limbus, especially as he must survive for gameplay purposes.
Also, Meursault is so horny. Like, oh my god. Half of his thoughts are of Marie, specifically of wanting her and all the connotations that contains. He spurns God in the face of a Chaplain, saying that He is worth nothing compared to a single hair on a woman's head. Meursault is not a romantic but not just some horndog either, his desire for sex and women and their bodies feels like an extension of his worldview centered on the immediacy of life and not just debauchery or hedonism. It's a part of the idea life is lived as today, yesterday, and tomorrow, and there is joy and happiness in that simplicity. I feel like this will get cut for Limbus but I hope it isn't, I want Meursault to casually admit he desires every Sinner on the bus carnally (yes the men and NB too, probably just a HC but I do believe that the City is a binormative society based on its already loose relationship to gender identity).
So uh, that's the thoughts so far. Merry Christmas, I guess.
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ok venom siblings
maybe if they split and then poison and jet started running together & became pretty big names together and kobra recognises them and it's. all my love cause i know where you come from. i knew you before all of that. you're like me. we crawled out of the same hell together and i still love you. i still love you even if i only see you in wanted posters and i only hear you in rumors. i still love you cause you're a part of me and i can't decide if i hate that or not. it's hard for me to stop looking for your name in the list of the dead they leave outside the walls. its still hard to fall asleep and not reach out for you when you used to lie next to me to keep me warm when we were little. it's hard to be myself and not your little brother. i always wanted to be out of your shadow and i fought for that so hard I didn't think about what i'd do when i couldn't see your shadow anymore. what am i gonna do when your name pops up on that list. what am i supposed to say if i see you in passing. am i supposed to pretend? pretend i don't recognise you? do i just walk past and hope you'll notice, hope you'll see that i'm better now, better without you, better off on my own, i've got friends, i've got plans, i'm living, i'm doing it, see, doing it all by myself i told you i could do it by myself do you see it now do you see how much better i am i'm better i'm better i'm better i'm better.
but it's still hard not to reach out when i can't sleep.
(this got a little too poetic a little too fast-)
ITS HARD TO BE MYSELF AND NOT YOUR LITTLE BROTHER. IAM GOING TO FUCKING THROW UP OVER THIS KAZ OH MY GODDDDD THEY !!!!!!!!
im fucking exploding over this song every goddamn part is just so them i cant even- i- "lately I could see you in the bright lights/Hey maybe I could catch you on the right night/All my love/'Cause I know where you come from" LIKE LITERALLY EXACTLY WHAT YOU WERE SAYING THEY KNOW EACH OTHER BETTER THAN ANYONE THEY ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO UNDERSTAND THE FULL EXTENT OF WHAT THE OTHERS BEEN THROUGH AND YET THIS STILL MISUNDERSTAND EACH OTHER BC LETTING THE OTHER BE RIGHT MEANS THAT THEY THEMSELF ARE WRONG AND I JUST. I COULD SEE YOU IN THE BRIGHT LIGHTS. I LOOK AT THE CITY WE ESCAPED FROM GLOWING IN THE DISTANCE LIKE A FLAME TRYING TO DRAW US MOTHS BACK IN. AND I HATE LOOKING AT THE HORIZON BECAUSE THE LIGHTS MAKE ME THINK OF YOU, OF ALL IT TOOK FOR US TO MAKE IT OUT HERE AND HOW EASY IT WAS TO PRETEND WE WERE BOTH ONAY WITH LETTING GO
"I'd like to see your face and say/'I told you/You'd make it on your own/And they would love you." because party's always known deep down that kobra could make it on his own. theyve always known that they dont need him, and thats why they held on so tight to the point of suffocating him because their biggest fucking fear is that he Doesn't Need Them. their one purpose in life is to protect their little brother and if their brother doesnt want their protection or, worse, doesnt need it then why are they even here?? they lie awake at night aching, praying that the universe will just let them run into each other just once, will just let them see what their little brothers grown up to be, will let them make sure hes doing okay. but at the same time they hope they never fucking see him again because they know, they can feel it in their gut, that kobra is fucking thriving without them that he was so incredibly right that they were the one thing holding him back from greatness. they know kobras better than them, theyve always known dammit thats why they fought so hard for him, but knowing and seeing are two different things. and they think if they have to see him finally being as happy as they always promised hed be without them, that might just be the thing to kill them for good. they cant let go. even miles apart with years of silence between them they cant fucking let go
#asks#sorry thid took i turn i just couldnt stop saying words but yeah you usually get it when im making no sense so its probably fine#but uh. we need to fucking write out venom siblings fic soon before the thoughts consume me
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My high school experience
At the first step on my journey when i was in junior high school, it felt like a fresh start as a student, as always as expected. I had a new life ahead of me that time, and i was still scared if what the future will bring, I even fought the urge to doubt myself, until I managed to keep going until i made friends.
Time goes really fast when your having your fun, it was like i was on a mission to be a good student, and I practiced everyday, because I knew what I needed to do. I managed to dance and sing, and literally draw, until i got the hang of it. I managed to participate on multiple events and even my career, for the future, I was willing and I was not gonna stop until i reach my goal on being the best student of all. I wouldn't let anything stand in my way at that time. I expected to graduate, and I did. But without honors, because we know we get struggles along the way. I needed a way to be good, and a hopeful path and I knew i was, gonna be led to the right one.
When I graduated during Grade 10, and had turned into grade 11 into a senior, it made my day at that time, and a new beginning was starting, I was deciding on a new School. But I knew there was always trouble and struggles as always, theres always no success if you dont have any signs of puzzles and obstacles along the way. But one thing is sure, I had forgotten how to dance, but i never lost the talent to sing, luckily it was saved, and my drawing skills. I couldn't keep up with the events, I really wanted to join in, but I never managed, every time I practice so I could join, it was a problem because of my struggles. I had forgotten my ways on the art of dancing. And yet I knew I had to keep going.
New obstacles are always here when your at the new level of a game called Life, and struggles are always near to appear. It was a long run during my grade 11 and Grade 12 experience, and I am already almost going to Graduate, and I kept praying because on how low my performance had gotten, But I never stopped. So i kept going, and going, even seeking help, but I wasn't close to anybody but that one classmate. I never saw my old friends during my time in my old high school life. I had to adapt but I also got determined, I wanted to graduate and it was almost near. I believe in myself and I had the guts for it. Wish me luck.
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a Far Too Long lyrics analysis 4 "Black Pear Tree" by The Mountain Goats & Kaki King n how I associate it w torahime shu from charisma house, borne of me having a head full of thoughts n time on my hands at like 5:30 am.
"I dug a hole n filled it up w compost... Rested on the cool grass 4 a minute."
Him planning 2 enter the house n start his infiltration mission. The beginning of the arc, n, unknowingly, of the end n new beginnings in equal measure. He rests his head on the grass outside of the sharehouse [end of 91, where he was lurking outside], taking a moment of respite b4 he starts what could make or break them.
"I saw the future in a dream last night...
There was nothing in it."
Sensei having lost all hope w the lab being lost. w the lab gone n his sensei's spirits down... what's left of there 4 their dream? Theres nothing... esp 4 poor sensei. He wont stand 4 tht. Smth must b done. Possibly additionally a foreshadowing or premonition of naka leaving him. After all, w/o the lab, what need does he have 4 an assistant aka Him? Will he b left 4 dust jus like the lab? But he hopes it's jus his anxious feelings hanging that threat over his head. He prays he won't be abandoned. Sensei, please look at me. Please keep me. I'll b trying 4 u. I'll get us what we want. What we Need.
"I set the sapling in the hole,
started gently tamping down the dirt...
I saw the future in a dream last night."
Tora going thru w the plan n infiltrating the house, setting the plan in motion, shown here w the metaphor of a Tree. He sees the future again in a dream, but its not nothing this time, bc he's actively trying 2 make a future 4 them. However its left vague as 2 what he's seen bc it's still unknown. He can't say 4 sure tht they'll succeed, but he can't b sure they'll fail, either. If he'll get caught or if they don't get infoz or if they witness breaks... he sees the future. mayb as a ball of light, mayb as a blur tht he can't remember upon waking up, mayb smth tht we aren't allowed 2 kno bc it's tora's life n he has a right eye withhold his fantasies... all the same it's a Future. n thts Enough.
"Somebody's gonna get hurt,
somebody's gonna get hurt.
I hope it's not me.
But I suspect it's going 2 have 2 b."
The repeated injuries he sustained via the reckless charismas in the sharehouse, as well as a double meaning of either them or the charismas going 2 end up having a bad time [the charismas being captured or him n naka failing n possibly being on the tail end of another group break]. He knows tht he has 2 endure all of the pain he's experiencing if he's 2 get the info tht naka needs n do a good job. As much as he would liked if they'd've succeeded w their plan at the old lab, this is how things r now... Naka didnt have a backup plan, so its up 2 him. Its going 2 hav 2 b. The charismas dont remember his face- they hav no reason 2. n so there he was, in tht chaotic house. endure it. 4 the plan. 4 naka. Even if naka doesn't care abt how much hes going thru 4 him. even if all he cares abt r the charismas.1 day, mayb... he will. He'll pat his head n hug him close n say "good work". Call him "torahime".
"I dug my heels in 4 the winter,
and I waited 4 snow."
Taken literally as opposed 2 giving up, he waits 4 the breaks 2 happen or 4 breakthrus w the charismas 2 occur. Also him waiting 4 the charismas 2 punish him or kick him out after rhe incident w naka [hot spring n shopping eps], which fits w the lines actual meaning of giving up n waiting 4 bad things 2 happen (the 'snow')
"But something was stuck up in the clouds.
Something was stuck up there.
It couldn't let go."
His yet-2-overflow/realization of jealousy n hatred 2wards the charismas. I suspect in the eps after 104, he was still in a state of High Alert ie shock n wariness of not knowing what will b done 2 him, seeing as how he startled when spoken 2 n was relatively quiet up until around 107. so at 1st, he knows smth is wrong... this tension yet warm feeling... smth will come of this, he feels, but... just living happily w these guys n being treated as a companion is nice... all the same, he can't shake a small feeling in the back of his head tht he tries 2 ignore (until 107).
"And when its time came, i could see it happen;
Blossoms black n sweet as texas crude.
I saw the future flowering like a ruptured vessel...
Somebody's gonna get screwed.
It won't be me."
The seed of the plan [see the 1st lyrics point] has grown n w it, his relationship w the charismas. At the end of 107, he's accepted by them rather than the punishment he was bracing himself 4, in2 a house tht will welcome him n w companions tht will n do care abt him, more than naka ever did. The light of the charismas shines on him, their 'flowers' covering the red rage of his breakdown n showing him tht there's hope n a place 4 him (note: 'crude' in this case possibly being the charismas' crude natures.. lol). He's been abandoned, yes but a better place awaits him where he belongs. It's not the ending he saw 4 himself, but all the same he will b 'screwed over' n neglected n 4gotten no longer.
#I'm gonna tag this bc it took me 4ever 2 write this. lol. woe tora rant b upon ye.#theres no img or w/e so alas.. jus walls of text. oh well.#torahime shu#crsm#aliceorguilty.txt
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i think everything else couldve been much worse. i couldve been unemployed for far longer, i couldve ran out of money way sooner, i couldve became homeless and spiraled into addictions and such. all that stuff. but with loneliness........ in the end, its strangely comforting to think that it was really all there could be. i thought about it during my walk... and you know, while im not much better yet - i still only really talk to people at work about work things - at least i can open my mouth and hear my own voice, speaking. because having like.. no one, absolutely no one to talk to, being completely silent for days, its so horrifying.
at some point, i think it must have been december, maybe late november, i couldnt even bring myself to talk without breaking down in tears. it all feels a little foggy, now, blurred into one, but talking to myself, trying to sing on my own, anything, it felt like nothing, except for maybe trying to not let my throat go rusty. i cant even tell anymore whether i went insane or not, whether my family really couldnt tell just how desperate i was to talk to someone, to speak, like about anything, anything at all. and other than blaming myself for most of how it ended up being, i think the resentment for everyone choosing to leave me on my own will linger over my heart for a very long time. i literally openly begged people to talk to me, to see me, whenever, wherever, and yet... i cant blame anyone for not wanting to be around someone whos constantly suicidal, but i still thought that there would be at least one person who'd choose to stay and wait it out with me. i wish things were different. i know i shouldnt be surprised that no one waited for me, as life goes on and people move past you, especially if their feelings for you were never really strong to begin with... but man. i cant even really count posting on tumblr as talking - after all, most of the time, i am just here talking about myself, to myself, and im aware of that. just screaming out a million times i wanna die, i wanna die, i wanna die, doesnt exactly count as conversation. it only really felt like writing out messages on the walls of an abandoned building, where you kinda hope someone will come across it and read it... but also, its not like they'll seek you out to save you, no matter how desperate you get. more likely is that they'll nod at it and go, "oh, big mood" and keep walking.
i wish it was already over. i wish i could find.. maybe not even "new friends" or whatever, but something to ease my mind with, to help me shift focus on something useful. its really hard to motivate yourself to do anything, when youre depressed. even now, i feel like work is really draining me... i can only pray that i will find motivation in me sometime soon, or this wont end well either. sorry this isnt very optimistic of me. i dont know where i was going with this one either. i think i should just go back to work now
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is there any particular outfit piece that ur looking 2 get/is on your wishlist? if so what is ur plan with it & where would u wear it to
the most specific outfit piece ive looked 4 was a leather harley davidson halter top which i found THIS YEAR after abt a year n 1/2 of watching ebay listings n waiting but usually i try not to focus too much on super duper specific items of clothing cuz ill get fixated n do nothing else BUT look 4 it ... most of what i like is just casual clothing, jeans, tank tops n shirts cuz i do literally 3 things: eat, sleep, thrash, repeat. kidding LOL but i really just like being comfy. i do have a couple pieces like my beloved harley top tht i bust out 4 parties n that sorta thing (wore it when i played my last show lol) but other than that ... i am kickin it in my dirty ass sneakers jeans n a tank top LOL !! i always always always keep my eyes peeled 4 things tht remind me of my favorite parts of fashion from the 70s n mid/late 2000s (well like. 2003-12 tbh its not exactly pure mid 2000s cuz of my love 4 jersey shore n their clothes) !! that being said. the top 3 like...pieces im always keeping an eye n an ear 2 the ground (ebay) 4: (read more cuz there r pics <3)
lowrise jeans w fun things on the back pockets / butt, like these super cute jeans from red pepper !!
i love love love the look of big patches on jeans esp in the back i feel like its so playful n fun n a little sexy !! i dont like highrise jeans which totally bums me out cuz most of the flares i find / see r high rise n i exclusively wear flared jeans LOL ... like i said most of my style is pretty casual i am not usually putting in a ton of effort 2 look put 2gether n cute n whatever literally i just throw on jeans n a shirt i got at a show n call it a day but having jeans tht hv exciting details like this get me thru life fr <3 my favorite pair r my flame flares which u cn kind of see in my avi but some better pics r below. i wore out th first pair of them (below) n had 2 make another one but they r literally like. iconic 4 me im almost never not wearing thm. wearing them rn even !
2. vintage band shirts 4 bands tht i cant/wont see in concert ... rn the shirt ive been lusting after is this dope ass etown concrete (BEST JERSEY HARDCORE BAND WILL FIGHT 2 DEATH ON THIS) shirt thats got fuckin mike "the situation" on the back n it says "JERSEY CORE" on the front in the jersey shore font. i am literally so obessed w it u dont get it ... im praying itll still b on ebay in a couple months so i cn get it 4 my bday cuz i am. not prepared 2 drop 124 on a fucking tshirt. yet. but i will. i am not sharing pics cuz i am very paranoid someone will buy it out from under me so i am #gatekeeping. i promise its sick as fuck tho
3. nearly anything thts sort of r bikerish whether tht b theyre vintage or reprinted harley davidson shirts (like my BELOVED "put something exciting between yr legs" tank top) or just from a brand thts demographic is bikers (anjill or not has some CUTE jeans tht im infatuated w!! look at these blinged out jeans like omggggg ... so sad theyre out of the ones w angel wings on the back but honestly idrc im sure theyll come back lol)
4. pretty much anything they were wearing on jersey shore ... ed hardy, rush couture, affliction, yoga pants, furry boots, shirts w obnoxious sayings on them ... great 4 daily life, 4 shows ... rush couture is my fav honestly, i like the tracksuits they hv on their site rn but hvnt bought one yet n honestly probably wont 4 a while from the state of my bank account 😭😭 oopsie! but anyway yeah ed hardys great n all but ppl charge wayyyy too much 4 those jeans n same w affliction its so . ugh !!
5. n speaking of things ppl overcharge 4 ... of course. juicy couture anything !!!!!!! ive been on the hunt 4 an (affordable! please god) hot pink juicy tracksuit like the kind paris had in the 2000s just 2 lay around the house in LOL but im also carefully watching out 4 a daydreamer or just any of their cute bags cuz i love purses but i am pretty picky abt my juicy cuz its SO expensive. kinda hv 2 b tho n its worth it 2 b
thts kind of all i can think of. usually when i pop in the thrifts i look 4 shit like belts or necklaces or rings tht i dig but i cant wear rings or jewelry very much anymore cuz im either 1) at school or work (no jewelry policy <\3) 2) at house parties/shows moshing 3) laying in my bed recovering LMFAO. i also love looking 4 cheap cowboy hats cuz i LOVE a cowboy hat n i usually always end up giving it away 2 someone at a party or a gig LOL currently all out of cowboy hats but im gonna get some in january probably . idk. need 2 save my money LOL !!
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Im so sorry that you have to deal with that counselor and get a rude message even tho you didn't do anything wrong. I am praying for you that you stay in your full 90 days, It really unfair for you to deal with that kind of person. All you did was vent and that is it and that person dare to get mad and send a message to you acting like their the victim and you're the problem? that is fucking stupid. I hope you talk to the staff more cause aleasts they are helping you. Ik what it like to be stuck with a person I dislike or infected me with rage. I'm praying for you to get better
thank you for this message; I really appreciate the validation and the kindness. This counselor is supposed to come in today and I'm a nervous wreck about it because I'm sure he's going to want to talk to me. I feel like I'm being a problem whenever I ask for literally anything; though admittedly that could be due to my own insecurity. But of course getting a message like that isn't going to help that. I've talked to another staff member about it and she said "maybe it was tough love" which just infuriated me and made me feel invalidated.
I still dont' know how long I can stand to be here. It would probably be best if I stay the full 90 because I'm not healed from my addiction yet (and probably never will be). It would suck to let one asshole stand in the way of my recovery. I have decided that I will try to be as happy as I can be while I'm here. I will be pleasant and calm at all times with the staff and will keep my requests to a minimum. Thankfully I have the VA to go to for things like that job training thing. The staff here doesn't know the full situation and can't do what a Veteran Service Officer can do anyway.
thank you again. I am sending you good vibes anon!
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Mayoi in PriPara Outfits Part 3
This is the last suuuuper long post of me wondering what pripara outfits mayoi might wanna wear ! If you're somehow here without coming from part 1 or 2 (since again, i wont be tagging this....) here should be a link to part 1 and also part 2 (sorry again foosybit followers for triple posting)
Please congratulate mr placeholder for coming this far, he's really putting the best work out there im so thankful he's here with us. also there'll be more brands other than holic trick now (even if it's still the main brand) so i'll be naming the brand in all of them
Gaarmageddon Red Dia from Love Devi !! a card theme was present in an outfit i would die if i didnt draw it. no original masc version cuz it's literally a card wonderland theme so say hi to pathetic pushed over vermilion mayoi. also at this point i was admittedly getting quite pooped from all the drawing so unless i really wanted to see something i just didnt do it lol
Hello ninja association again, no brand for this one cuz it's actually from a merch line so idk if it even exists outside the merch line ?? Which. Lets slow down a bit lemme tell u my shock when i find out that not only is there boypara but theres a ninja idol boy with partially yellow hair ???!?!!?!???! shinobu come pick up ur little bro he's out here performing in a wrestling ring !!!!!! so of course i listen to all the grand total of 2 songs he has and try to find all the images i can of ushimitsu (name of the ninja boy) and find this silly merch line where he gets to work at the ninja monja (which i believe is established as a thing he actually does if the wiki trivia section is to be trusted cuz as i said im nowhere near learning about him thru the show or stage play or whatever)
what the hell look at this dam ninja i am literally nowhere near learning anything about him considering im not even at episode 100 yet meanwhile the episode featuring ushimitsu just barely came out recently on the pripara yt but hes so my fav and hes also the blue one in a duo that works at ninja monja which is just like dorothy west i love dorothy west i love dressing pafe someone any pripara enstars fans out here do u get me do u feel me do u understand that by me saying this u can already guess i like 2wink and souma do u understand how it all connects AAHHHRG i might explode if i keep talking so lemme stop here while i can
back to the drawing, shinobus having the time of his life spinning that omelette good 4 him and mayois been delegated to rice ball duty lol loser
Lady Pirate from Holic Trick !! say hi to origin of mr placeholder !!!! hiiiiii !!!! uve been working so hard how does it feel to be home u better cherish it cuz ur coming back later, luv u mr placeholder. but ya self explanatory why i chose this outfit
Gothic Lace from Holic Trick !! hes such a pretty boy thats all i have to say for this
Adult Jumper from Pretty Rhythm (the brand in pripara) !! such a sweet and simple coord i dont think it needs a second version :]
Aromat Card Aroma from Love Devi !! it looks like the original has tarot cards but a card's a card in my book so they got the symbols. honestly it's mostly just me vaguely tasking inspiration from the original to create my own outfit but whateva im near the end and im having fun and i really liked this one so woohoo !!!! also that dress length is supposed to go to the ankle, it's just scrunched up rn hehe
Moonlight Purple from Baby Monster !! Last one !!!! I think the pripara characters deserve to have bigger hats dam !!! I think this is a very pretty outfit hehehe he's bound to get little shorts like these some day (me hoping and praying) !!!!
not one that i did cuz im too exhausted from all the drawing but i thought u needed to see this and imagine ninja association, kitty kitty meow meow ninja mayoi is so real in my head
wahoo thanks for going thru the whole thing !!! I feel like u can reeaallly obviously tell which of mayoi's aesthetics are the ones i like the most lol are any of us surprised that my favorite 5star of his is his feature scout ^_^ BTW!! if any of u want me to draw any enstars character in any pripara outfit I WILL SO DO IT !!!!!! or even aikatsu outfit hehe cuz i'm also quite attached to that :] altho i may take a while cuz college is about 2 start orz rip my free time !!
one last thing b4 y'all leave !! ya as i just implied, i actually watched a bit of aikatsu (enough to get to the second protag is all i remember) i just ended up with a greater attachment to pripara cuz it was my very very first anime, but yea yurika's eternally flickering flame go listen to it and imagine it's mayoi maybe even wearing his fs trust me on this one u have to experience it please please please please heres the full version too (no shade to the vers w ozora i just think yurika fits mayois voice more), anyway im on my knees begging for this to be what his solo ends up like just cover the song it'll be fine no one will notice trust me mayoi u gotta sing this
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🌻🌻🌻
new ask game send me a 🌻 and ill just tell you whatever the fuck i want
((1. after using the new post editor vs the old post editor and switching back and forth between them on my blogs, i gotta say! old post editor fucks
((though the new post editor has a TON of QoL changes that elevator to more of an equal status
((like, being able to tell when a special thing like italics starts and stops is a fucking amazing feature and i wish it was on the old post editor
((or being able to edit tags, or being able to make text BIG or BIGGER, or things like that
((but running with the old post editor for a while on the qkd blog has brought about some really funny/interesting bits!
((this gimmick is really fun. it feels like ive been running the blog for months but its only been less than one. i love that blog
((2. speaking of--if things havent been obvious so far, then lemme say it outright right now
((i am going through the entirety of poppy's story on that blog, pre-poppy to... an ending, of sorts
((which means events will just sort of happen over there, in slight congruence to when they happened in poppy. such aaaaaaaaas
((this whole thing! in fact, it's happening in a thread right now~.
((at the end of arcs/events i plan on tagging all of the previous posts that took place in that event as like... a relevant tag, so that i might chrono them and maybe my things can be read as a sort of story. this is... going to be a pain. but! i am incredibly committed to all of this now. i am excited. things are going to fucking happen.
((uh, sorry for all the kit-blog talk. i am just kind of. really excited for that blog! i have this base guideline already set for me to follow and i get to explore how this MF goes through the entirety of what-we-know in poppy. including somee other things that are at play because of the nature of just. knowing more than my characters know
((having characters like lila and chicadino just making funni appearances this early into the story is just so much fun you dont even know.
((sidenote bonus thing but i really want chicadino to interact with @/fallen-symphony crew because like. he's a villain, with an outrageous lucky star at that. it'd be REALLY FUCKING FUN. i wanna do arthur interactions IN GENERAL, REALLY
((but alas. there is literally no conceivable way i could approach first about this without majorly breaking things and his knowledge on the world rn. his little birdy would not know about multiverse theory (yet).
((3. im thinking of like, making some slight changes on this blog? to save myself the sanity? but i dont know how.
((i aint stoppin' playing carol--i love this dumbass just as much as i love kit
((but man oh man i look at the amount of threads i have on here versus the amount i have on kit and its like
((well of course im over there more--i can actually count the things i have to do over there. and one of them finished! and another one has a finish line i can conceivably get to! cant say much for the other threads but im sure a finish line can be gotten.
((i do feel bad that activity has waned over here. again, carol has a lot of shit still happening and a lot of things i still havent properly addressed. the ideas are in my head, its just
((pen has to touch paper, y'know? that's it, that's all it is. i dont wanna take on new threads here because i get this anxiety that its just gonna stall me from actually doing things. i already have important threads that do need to get finished that i simply havent touched in like, weeks.
((maybe i just need to find these threads and hyper focus on them and then like, one or two more things. have something that can keep my sanity, well, sane. because otherwise it is going to be very hard for me to keep up things over here.
((i pray that this same issue doesnt occur on qkd. ive been thinking about implementing a thread cap of sorts, just so the overwhelming thing doesnt happen.
((still need to think about things tho. my mind is being RACKED as of current.))
#ooc posts#catmun speaks#meme answers#asks#aureumdraconeus#as you can see i have kit brainrot rn#hahaaaaaaaa#ha
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nw 24/5
La Ciénaga (Lucrecia Martel, 2001)
9/10. esp review: https://letterboxd.com/nanit/film/la-cienaga/
Horrifying and miserable, love it.
Tale about family, about everyday life. Feels so close, yet so far away. There is a feeling of discomfort that accompanies you through the whole movie. And it doesnt end until you turn off the screen, or until you forgot about it.
Lucrecia Martel's skills with sound and photography are totally remarkable. She masters the sound like nobody else, you could watch the movie in a black screen and yet, if you are able to hear, you are able to understand the movie, you can know whats going on.
Verónica: Where did you go?
Momi: Where the Virgin's been appearing. I didn't see a thing.
The film is always talking about of a possible salvation. Something that can save that family from drowning in the misery they are in. Could be the Virgin's, or a travel to Bolivia. But, there isnt any salvation. They are trapped there, they will always be.
Lucrecia Martel talks about family, but, at the same time, she talks about society too. She (subtly) proposes that individualism kills, and leads to misery.
A subtle example of that is at the beginning, when Mecha falls in the ground and, yet the whole family is there, no one helps her except for two people.
The death is a whole character of the story. You can feel it in every escene. It materializes in the middle of the story, where Luchi dies. After that, there is a new beginning. Now they are not only metaphors. Life is there and they dont do anything to stop it.
While Luchi is lying on the ground, his mother and sisters are praying for the Virgin, the movie intends they are seeing her. The salvation didnt arrive, your son is literally dead.
There is no moral in the story, no one is bad or good, no matters what they do, they all do something, but you dont know if its bad (or good) at all.
There is an absence of a central conflict at the story level, its not a bad thingn at all, in fact, it leads the viewer to a feeling of absence of future in the story. Suspense, leads the viewer to want to keep watching. Although there is no central conflict, in La Ciénaga there are always things going on.
Now, with the (not) most important thing:
Personal experience.
(and thoughts)
First of all, I gotta say I am argentinian. I lived there all my life, I still do.
Like I said, the movie felt so close to me it made me uncomfortable. Its not a bad thing tho.... Thats like, the whole point...
The sound, the people, relationships, everything, felt close to home.
Other than that, that despair of not being able to interfer (as a character of the story! not as the viewer) in the story felt close too, and I dont think its an only-argentinians thing. It hurts to accept destiny, to finally deal with it. But I had to deal with it in the past, and I will still have to do it yet, like I said, it despairs me.
I dont know if its, like, an official interpretation, but i noticed that, among the family (and out too) there is a hierarchy. the movie talks a lot about power, like, for example, the little girls just listen to everything the grown ones say and maybe question sometimes, the adults take all the decisions (like its meant to tho). Another example is Jose, that, when he is in Buenos Aires with Mercedes, he is just a poor salteño boy (?) (saltenian?) (guy from salta jahjaha) yet, when he is with his family, he is the oldest, and it gives him power.
The hierarchy is also implied with the "indians" (that are not indians. just a derogatory term in the film.) but i am not gonna expand on that, because i am not that sure.
There are SO MUCH things I am missing about this movie. Im sorry for that.
Please watch La Ciénaga. Totally worth it.
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hihi :D. i'm back to do some crazy rants ig since i can't sleep :,). ig i'll just pick up where we left last time?
which is the hair colours! so i saw they dyed yunhos hair blue... AND THEY DID A MESSY JOB AT IT TOO? like in the idol radio pic you could still see a line of like blond hair?? i just know his hair is fried.. they should've kept it blonde urgh. also my neobong... apparently he told at a fansign his hair isn't finished yet? now, i have my theories! like 2 years ago yeo said he wanted to split dye his hair mint and pink. so that's what a lot of people are thinking, and that could be possible ig? but yk what i would love to see? GREEN AND BLACK!! like yk the billie eilish hairstyle with the green roots? OORRRR like the 'hidden' hairstyle where the top is like black and the 'hidden' part of his hair is green and he has like green bangs/fore pieces. i think they're gonna let the green fade tho. TALKING ABOUT NEO...
I'M PICKING UP WHERE I LEFT TALKING ABT GETTING INTO NCT. i am in love with taeyong!! LIKE OBSESSED!! DELUSIONAL OVER THIS MAN!! he's so so so fine!!! like tyong pls come home the kids miss you :(!!! my faves have not changed from last time ig, but i'll say my biases from each unit just bcs i can ig? nct 127 is obv taeyong!!! my nct dream bias is haechan and for wayv it's xiaojun. i'm not rlly counting in nct u bcs the line up is different each cb yk. and if u wanna count in djj it jaehyun, that man is so fine AHDHS. that's all i had to say abt kpop. i haven't rlly been keeping up with a lot of kpop content these days tbh, i've been watching criminal minds :)!
and since ik you have a blog for criminal minds etc i'll rant a bit abt cm here too? i'm at ssn 13 right now so i'm almost done :,). i just finished the eps where that annoying ass lady split up the bau and tried making changes and they secretly team up to catch this serial killer that kills these women and sells like the pics of it and they end up saving the daughter of this dude with a lot of power and he ends up funding the bau etc. i'm so excited to finish cm soon but also not? but i feel like it's kinda time too since i've been watching it for so long. i had to take breaks watching it bcs school and struggles with paranoia so it took me a long time to get back into it again. but now that i'm watching it again i'm so happy bcs i missed the show so much. i think that was my rant since i have nothing else going on rn, i'm a homebody who does nothing more than to sit in their room and watch kpop content, tv shows and read 😭 thank you for listening <3 — 🎧
hello !! you know i love the rants babe !!
i completely agree that they should have kept the blonde. i was excited when i thought they could have a new color but after concert pics with the blonde and the not so great dye job for the blue i'm wishing we could have kept the blonde too :,) but no for sure, he said something like being on the third bleach round or something like i'm crying for him rn akfhakjf
and YEAH NO BECAUSE I WAS TALKING ABT THIS WITH OTHER MOOTS AND- i really really like the idea of the mint green and pink bc like thats so fairy coded and hes so fairy coded and like i also def prefer a mint green to whats going on right now (tho its growing on me mostly bc yeosang just always looks so freaking good). and like i dont think i'd like the idea of the green and pink if it were the split dye like one side pink one side green but i feel like it was supposed to be the top of his hair being pink and the bottom green which could look so freaking good and adorable. BUT UHHH NOW THAT YOU MENTION THE GREEN AND BLACK, BABES THAT IS TOO GOOD you're a literal genius. they probably will just have it fade but i'm praying they do something like that with it sorry to your hair yeo LOL
I SEE I SEE taeyong is definitely a very easy man to simp over. yeah i never count nct u LOL fahfkjsdf but i see you ! i'm understanding, my sister is a haechan stan HAH i just love making fun of him its in my nature as a renjun lover. honestly i'm barely an nctzen anymore BUT i still enjoy dabbling in their content and convos about them like this from time to time it feels nostalgic and nice. i've always been more of a dreamie so i've been passing through neotown more lately with their comeback approaching.
oH MY GOD CRIMINAL MINDSSS my comfort show fr AHAHAH i'm a little crazy. fun fact emily prentiss is my gay awakening !! i'm actually rewatching it rn i'm still on ssn 10 tho lol. ngl i only vaguely remember that ep rn i will be reminded when i get to it LOL. i get you tho omg like it's so long and it's exciting to get through esp if you've had to take breaks like that so valid !! but also i never want my favorite things to end LOL but i mean here i am rewatching it so it's not a huge deal anymore khfkajsd i'm glad you've felt happy watching it tho !! that's awesome.
but babe you are literally me that is legit also the only thing i do, we are twinsies fr. you're welcome for listening and ty for sending it in !! you know i love to hear from you <333
#［ messages %.#［ my darlings %.#［ 🎧 anon %.#oh also i hope you can sleep soon !!#get some good rest <333
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I DONT KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH THIS!
I’m trying.
So. Hard.
So. EFFING. HARD.
To hold myself back from sexual temptation.
For Allah. For His Blessing.
But it’s just…. SO….. HARD.
And I mean it literally too.
I haven’t even fapped for a while to keep myself pure for Allah, I am trying my best to avoid from sinning and be my old self.
But yesterday. At work. I had to attend some Immersion Onboarding program with the company for newbies. In my onboarding batch, there was this hot girl that I had a crush on immediately after I saw her. She’s soooo my type and I even sat next to her since day 1 during the onboarding program. But since she was too hot, I didn’t even dare talk or chat with her.
But I kept a close eye on her and realized she wore a wedding ring. Sigh. Well, she’s still hot. And I still had a crush on her and that didn’t change.
Two weeks went by and then we had to meet again to attend this immersion program thing. Coincidentally (or more like PURPOSELY since Allah KNOWS I have a crush on her), Allah set me up as a test to be in the same group as her and that we both had to share the same car with two other people while riding to a separate location for training.
I HAD TO SIT NEXT TO HER IN A CRAMPED CAR FFS.
The car was small and hot. And I had to sit in the middle between another guy and her. And I can FEEL my right arm and leg touching hers because of how cramp the car was. I tried my best to hug myself and make myself as small as possible so my body wouldn’t accidentally get pressed and rubbed on hers. I tried so hard to hold myself back and had to stay so freaking stiff and not move a damn muscle.
But my freaking mind just…. CANT.
You have no idea how hard it was to contain the hormones raging inside me especially when I haven’t ‘relieved’ myself for so long. And furthermore the exactly HOT girl I had quite a huge crush on had her body forcefully pressed against mine.
Astaghfirullah this is one heavy test. I immediately KNEW and REALIZED it came from Allah. And ALLAH was trying to test my faith.
I instantly just prayed to Allah to help me and try my hardest to remove the fantasy in my head about her (WHICH WAS HARD) and recite zikr under my breath many times to remember Allah and just PRAYING for Allah’s help to rid me of this horny feeling.
Sigh.
It wasn’t over yet tho.
After the program ended, I got into my car and turn on the Quran audio and translation as usual. I made it a habit to only listen to Quran in the car so I can make use of the time to reflect Allah.
And believe it or not, Allah sent me a message through that audio.
The audio played the midst of Surah Yusuf, where Allah described the story on how Yusuf prayed to Allah to protect him from sexual temptation and if he had caved in to the lustful desire, he would have been one of the condemned and stupid humans.
ASTAGHFIRULLAH.
My face just… fell.
Allah is the BEST of planners and the stuff He has set up and arranged for me is seriously perfect to the minute detail. HE KNEW I LIKED HER AND TESTED ME BECAUSE HE KNEW HOW HARD IT WAS FOR ME AND THAT I WAS STRUGGLING.
I know it wasn’t as bad as the suffering of others. But this test was tailored by Allah to fit into my struggle. I am single, unmarried, trying to keep myself pure for Allah and at the same time, being horny AF. The slightest trigger would send me spiraling if I had allowed it.
I even had the thought in my head, the shame, if I should have been married, and if I were already married at the time, this issue, this kind of struggle won’t happen to me… ish.
But alas this was MY test.
Oh, oh no it’s not over yet.
Earlier today, I was super horny again that I went to find this ‘sexually triggering audio’ Liam sent on tiktok as a joke. I was curious and just thought, you know what, just… just a little sneak peak. Just some audio. I was curious.
Oh curiosity kills the cat alright. I knew Allah was watching closely and I felt SHAMEFUL for doing it anyways.
One thing led to another, I followed down the rabbit hole and dig further into the Audio and found the Twitter belonging to some anonymous girl who does sexual sounds for pleasure.
IT WAS EVEN MORE TRIGGERING THAN THE PREVIOUS TEST
Before this, at least I was slightly horny but I could still TRY to distract myself and make it go away.
But this freaking Twitter of hers, it’s not even with sexy photos. All she had was an anime profile picture and some sounds she uploaded of herself whimpering and moaning.
Oh it turned me on alright. Really WORKED me up. I didn’t know my horniness could be this bad but apparently it DOES. It’s EVEN WORSE.
WTF HAVE I DONE TO MYSELF
I immediately closed it and recite Astaghfirullah many many times.
Sigh.
It’s so freaking hard to do this, being unmarried and keeping pure. It’s near impossible. I know I will cave in eventually. I can’t do this on my own.
The only reason I can is because of Allah and I remembered Allah and I was ashamed and I looked away.
But I KNOW sooner or later this horniness inside me will get to me.
Sigh. The problem is sometimes, even being married doesn’t mean you’ll get your sexual needs met. It’s just gonna be a whole different set of test with that, and I’m not sure if I’m ready for that kind of test when I barely fail THIS ONE.
Allah. Please help me.
I EFFING HATE MYSELF.
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Angst Prompts
Im taking requests! heres a few quotes for inspo
just like that? you’re giving up?!
im the bad guy! i dont save the day
sorry that im such a disappointment
you cant be back?! WHY ARE YOU BACK?!
You never cared.. did you?
Go! and never come back
you were an investment
How dare you come back into my life after leaving me!
you weren’t there for me, so its my turn to no be there for you
Id take back our relationship in a heartbeat!
you win..
can’t you listen for one second
pick a god and pray to it
kill me and live with the memory, then tell the stars you won
its better this way
it was bound to end either way
its not a breakup, just a break
I dont want to die, not like this
you’re trembling...
this is all your fault!
you meant nothing to me
maybe you should stop trying to socialize everyone hate you anyways
I cant trust you anymore
I cant live like this anymore!
I dont know what to do
its all to much
My anxiety keeps me silent when i try to speak
I wish i was floating
waking up to an empty bed is hard sometimes
who do you think you are?!
look at what you caused!
do you care?! why dont you care?
I gave you all me!
i was there when they werent yet you still chose them over me?!
you have some nerve trying to tear me down
why would you try and play me for a fool?
why werent you who you swore that you would be
i shouldve never trusted you
I dont know why i love you!
you broke me...
you hit me...you hit me!
you changed, and its not for the better
Not like you ever tried to stay!
i tried, i failed, i tried again, i failed again. it keeps repeating and im tired of it!
im tired! im tired of all of it
how? how are you so good at pretending to be okay
I wish I never met you!
Go ahead! leave me!
your just like the rest of them
what is it about them?
why do you love them so much?!
you’ll never be like them
your image is more important than us?
your right it wasnt your fault but mine
was it fun? using me?
YOU HAVE NO POWER OVER ME!
YOU HAVE NO AUTHORITY OVE ME!
you only want power
they..they dont/doesnt love me anymore..
I dont love them anymore
I had a nightmare...i killed you...
i thought we were friends!
when? when did you stop loving me?
i hope your satisfied with yourself
why are you pushing people away?
your using me....your using me
so you didnt really love me?
was there something i couldve done or said to make you love me more?
Im so numb now..
I dont want to die!
fuck you! and fuck everything!
there is no us! there never was!
you thought this was real?!
do you love them?
do they make you happier than when you were with me?
are you ashamed of me?
if you cant live without me then die
why didnt you fight for us?
i said id die for you, i didnt mean it literally
who could ever love you?
is this a game to you?
Im not a toy you can play with!
why should I leave? you’re the one who ended the conversation/fight
I thought you were different
you got in my way
if you walk out of that door we are through
they left... and never came back
LOOK AT ME!
Am i not good enough for you?
i didnt realize i was such an inconvenience
Your my (daughter, child, son) no matter how big you grow youll always be my (duaghter, child,son)
i hope you’re happy now
i hope im not put in the same part of hell as you
its okay! im here!
you act like a child!
i cant love you.
i dont care
there more people in the world than just you!
i cried out for you and you didnt even come to save me
I heard you, i just didnt care.
We’re kids! we should be living our lives instead of trying to cheat death!
everyone leaves
do you wish that you never met me?
I wish you would understand
Could you please be there for me?
You can’t keep ignoring me
We used to be friends! what happened?
this will be the last time you lie to me
I hope you’re happy
I dont like you! nobody here does!
every time something goes well I momentarily forget how much I despise you
Did anyone ever tell you how pathetic you are? It’s incredible how low my standards are for you
Hand me the gun and I’ll kill ___ myself
We should probably stop talking forever
You broke her heart and came back for more, you bastard
I’m not coming home, don’t look for me
No one will keep your name alive. Once you’re gone, everything you once stood for disappears too
Don’t pretend you haven’t thought about your life without me
You think im an idiot, but I saw through you. You’re the idiot
What would I need you for when I have something better?
I hope you know I wouldve done ANYTHING for you
It was all i ever asked of you!
they arent my kid, theyre a failed clone (Parent hates, failed clone kid, failed clone kid was raised by them but neglected and def not loved, anything can happen, the kid can die in their arms and their last words be something angsty like “i loved you even if you didnt love me” or they get into an argument or something idk)
#sleepy boys inc x reader#philza x reader platonic#sleepy bois inc#lmanburg#youtube#dsmp#wilbur x reader#dream x reader#tommyinnit x reader#techno x reader#technoblade x reader#wilbur soot#ranboo x reader#dadza x reader#bbh x reader#quackity x reader#tmnt#rise of the tmnt#tmnt fandom#tmnt leonardo#tmnt raphael#tmnt x reader#tmnt au#angst prompt
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