#but i always get proved wrong

[oceanwithouthermoon]

imo everyone who insists that saikis life was perfect and he was a spoiled brat complaining about nothing are just purposefully ignoring and misinterpreting the whole manga simply because they like other characters better and want to make up scenarios to make their fav seem like a precious little victim in every situation

its hard to explain but i see it happen a lot with specifically people who have dedicated accounts for other characters and constantly misattribute every issue to "saikis such a baby, my character has it way worse!" "saiki hurt my babys feelings once so i hate him!" "saikis such a spoiled brat, my baby has a way shittier life and never complains about it!" "saiki hurt my poor precious fav once so hes an abusive monster!"

and said "shittier life" that they "never complain" about is either the persons headcanons (literally made up) or... the character DOES complain about it and the person takes those words at FACE VALUE but ignores everything else, including things that actually HAPPEN right in front of our eyes

#(this is just an opinion and anyone can do whatever they want) #people can feel however they want about saiki #but im just saying... purposely making everything into something it just isnt makes you look so... odd #like.. why? #why cant you just say you dont like him and move on? #instead of trying to make up a bunch of reasons why he sucks and his fans are weird #just chill #fandom doesnt need to be like that #sorry i feel like i start a new controversy every few days #dont offhandedly bully me for this guys just reply if you disagree #i like to think that my posts will reach nobody but like two moots and nothing matters and nobody cares #but i always get proved wrong #sho shad #anyway this is exactly what twitter users do with mafuyu and kanade which is so funny to me #they make kanade out to be an evil manipulator with a perfect life so that they can have their fake abuse scenarios and make mafuyu a victi #WHICH DOESNT MAKE SENSE CUZ MAFUYUS MOM IS RIGHT THERE? MAFUYU IS ALREADY AN ABUSE VICTIM #its crazy. fandoms are crazy. #hoping literally any of this is phrased correctly #my brain is jello i cant do this #saiki k #tdlosk #the disastrous life of saiki k. #saiki kusuo #meows post #meownalysis #<- not sure if this counts as that but im adding it because i want to come back to this

[egophiliac]

roll out the red carpet guys we're going to the SHAFTLANDS

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #tapis rouge #i have nothing else right now i'm sorry i just got excited by that vil hairstyle #(and i got REALLY excited for a second because i thought red carpet = movie premiere and i always love it when vil gets to be an ~acteur~) #(but 'luxe couture' makes me think fashion show instead. ah well.) #anyway it's time for the vil hometown event!!!! or...travel event at least? #are we gonna get to meet eric or is it gonna be someone else 👀 👀 👀 #like i would love to see eric but i kind of think it won't be him since he had that little main story cameo #(as portrayed by Generic Man Silhouette with some hair drawn on) #but feel free to prove me wrong twst! show us how much more glorious his hair has gotten in the last ten-ish years

[burr-ell]

I'll preface this by saying that I don't by any means begrudge anyone their own personal headcanons or interpretations, but I kinda have to get it off my chest that I'm personally not very comfortable with significant deviations from canon character design on CR, and I really tend to side-eye people who have declared their fanart to be "better".

And sure, some of that is because i'm a cranky old bastard. But some of that is that I also have an animation degree and have studied character design. Creators generally give artists a fair amount of input as to how they want their designs to connote the characters' personalities—not just in terms of clothing or hairstyle, but in the overall shape of the silhouettes and body structures. And in the case of CR in particular, that's coming from a place of much closer familiarity with the characters because the creator is actually going to be embodying them for a fairly long period of time, so when the fan response is heavy deviation from that, I think it can feed into some unhealthy fanon perceptions and projections.

Like, for example, it's not so much that I think fanartists are "disrespecting the creators" or whatever when they keep giving Imogen a sweet little round face and big hips/breasts and cute circular glasses, but I've also studied shape language in art. You're communicating something when you design her this way; if a character's silhouette has a lot of circles, visually that connotes being friendly, sweet, and cute. The person who first suggested drawing her with glasses explicitly said they thought it would look cute—and no shade to them! They can like whatever they want!

But canonically, Imogen is a woman in her 20s who's been dealing with unanswered questions, abandonment, loneliness, and sheer exhaustion from trying to hold back and control powers that she never asked for—and who simultaneously uses those powers even when it isn't necessary if she thinks it'll help her achieve a goal or prove a point. She isn't unfriendly, and she wants to do the right thing, but she's also someone who's consciously chosen to keep to herself for most of her life, and yet simultaneously she's quite adept at persuading and deceiving people. I think we're meant to pick up that sense of world-weariness and cynicism from her angular facial features and thin frame. That's...kind of just how character design works.

I think the trend of disregarding the official art and giving her softer features has had an impact on the perception of Imogen as a character. I see a lot of views of her that really remove a lot of her agency, treating her like she's only ever been a victim of circumstance who's never put a foot wrong. Some fans got pushback for pointing out that it really wasn't cool for Imogen to openly contemplate whether or not the Ruby Vanguard might be right in front of three people who were killed by Otohan, insisting that imogen was just dealing with a lot right then. And yes, she was, but that doesn't mean that the way she was dealing with it doesn't say something about her as a character. I don't know if I'd call it coddling, necessarily (even though perhaps there are some very coddling takes I just haven't seen), but there seems to be some resistance, in some circles, to the idea that Imogen isn't a put-upon martyr. And in those same circles, round friendly-looking glasses-wearing Imogen abounds, to the point of editing the official art itself to "fix it".

Truth be told I'd be willing to bet that the rounder cuter Imogen actually came about because of the initial impression of her, given how much fanon at the start of c3 revolved around poor baby Imogen with her scary nightmares needing the wiser, worldlier Laudna to comfort her and kiss it better, but those visuals also proliferated rather quickly and well beyond past the point where that fanon was feasible anymore, and I think both aspects of that fanon ended up informing each other. It's not lost on me that the rounder and cuter-looking Imogen performs the literal function of sanding down her harder edges.

And like I said, I'm not here to be needlessly negative toward what other people want to do. If you want to draw the characters differently to their official art, I don't think either the cast or the artist are especially offended by it. But I personally dislike it, in part because I think some of these trends are a way for fans to claim a certain amount of ownership over the characters, whether they intend it or not. And the ultimate outcome of that is that when creators inevitably assert their ownership over a deeply personal story in a way that fans don't like, the backlash is much stronger than it reasonably should be, which is something I think the CR fandom has seen often enough not to continue doing as often as it does.

#cr meta #critical role #cr discourse #cr wank #i think chubby jester vs skinny jester also falls into this #and don't get me wrong i 100% support representation of body types and the cast does too #but there's a certain amount of overlap between chubby jester and weird fanwanky c2 stans #it's. usually the folks who cling to fanon art interpretations who get the most angry at the cast when things don't go their way #like i don't have StatsTM or whatever to prove it but i've noticed some trends #also it's always the female characters and particularly laura bailey's characters who get hit with this attitude the most #like! just say you don't like a call laura made! i promise you no one's gonna call 911!

[cryptvokeeper]

don’t get me wrong I think the general interpretation of Leo being like “I put up a cocky front but deep down I don’t actually think I’m that great and that’s why I have something to prove” is good. It’s cool, plenty of drama/angst potential and probably what the creators were going for, I’m here for it.

But there is a distinct appeal to me of the slightly-to-the-left interpretation of Leo being like “it’s not a front, I know I’m that good/smart/skilled, but I also know I’m seen by others as just the goofball face man and that’s why I have something to prove.”

#Rottmnt #Wild metaphor incoming but it’s like the difference between a hersheys bar and fancy Ghirardelli or something #At the end of the day they’re both chocolate. But ones got a bit more depth. #where was I going with this again idk I got caught up in food metaphor #It’s like. With the first one it boils down to character A (in this case Leo) going “I’m useless because I’m not good at [thing]” #Resulting in those around him either going “of course you’re good at thing! Remember the time you were good at thing?” #Or sometimes “it doesn’t matter that you’re not good at [thing] we love you regardless of what you can provide” #And again THATS GOOD THATS SOME GOOD SHIT #I LOVE THAT #but with the latter it’s more like “I know I’m good at thing *but I don’t know how to prove it to you*” #And that gives you the best of both worlds where you CAN get character A feeling bad but not for their lack of thing #But because if no can see it surely they *must* be doing something wrong right? #And ALSO you get the characters around them getting all sorts of feelings of “we didn’t do enough to show we believe in them” #Or “we didn’t notice how hard they tried” #Cuz you can get that a little in the first one but it can come off as kinda meh cuz they didn’t actually do anything wrong #It also has more opportunities for emotions besides straight sadness #You can have anger and conflict of “why am I not good enough for you?!” #That straight sef deprecation doesn’t always allow for #You can also have jealously and envy that feels less toxic and more justified #Not that it strictly needs to be justified mind you #Sometimes some toxic feelings stemming from perceived inadequacy are fuckin *chefs kiss* #But again it’s abt the VARIETY yknow #This isn’t even about Rottmnt anymore I’m just rambling #It’s my post and I get to choose the bullshit tags

[hamable]

Hey I just finished Hilda season 3 and I am forever changed.

I joke that I could write a thesis about some media but I could really truly talk for hours about how fucking good Hilda is.

It’s core strength, which tears at my heart and soul so earnestly, is that it is not just a story about child adventurer, but equally a story about the MOTHER of a child adventurer and it’s just so beautiful. So impactful.

I think Johanna may be one of my favorite characters… ever. I think she is Absolutey Incredible.

Season three was just so amazing, the whole series is. I beg y’all to watch it because it’s so so good and deserves all the love it can get.

#hilda #hilda netflix #hilda season 3 #Hilda is so so important to me and I think it always will be #I’ve had a fear for a long time that as I get older I will no longer see myself in adventure stories bc I’ll be too old #bc they’re all written for younger demographics #someone once said something on here about how young ppl are easier to write bc adults get… specific… as they get older #and that’s so true and I was scared I’d lose my sense of adventure in the stories I read #but Johanna proved me wrong and was everything I’ve ever needed #I see so much of myself in her and she means so much to me #I’m gonna be sobbing about this the rest of the night #that and nursing a headache bc I straight up was either hunched forward or actively on my feet jumping while watching this season #god it’s so fucking good gang #and what a send off #that final goodbye. it’s been a year and we’re back and the raven festival and back to sitting on that wall #god it’s beautiful #my ONLY critique is that they fucked up woodman. I’ll expound later but they fully messed up woodman.

[devotion-disorder]

9 HOURS IN THE SALOJN AND IM FINALLY FREE………..

PINK HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

#text #devo.irl #or technically a pink ombre #i dont think my ass could get any flatter but each visit to the hairdresser proves me wrong #my ass is a straight 180 degrees after sitting for 9 hours #while my hair gets bleached until its deader than dead #starved for 10 hours and held in my piss for 6 #had two minor crises where the hairdresser was doing my hair and i wanted to cough SO bad #the things i do. just to have a funky hair color #when they were washing my hair in the basin they like. lift up your head but i would always try to move my neck myself #and my hairdresser was like. dude. relax LMAO #i dont know. how to be a normal person in a salon

[ganondoodle]

as cool as their design is im really starting to dislike the sonau in general, aside from their stuff suddendly being everywhere and everything being about them and how cool(tm) they are now with the mystery stone turning people into dragons and the similarities between the sonau and the three dragons (naydra, eldra, farodra) its actually not an impossibility that they used to be sonaus as alot of people have been theorizing about ..but ...... idk that would very much ruin their otherwordly yet ethereal mystery to me

i probably sound like some hater whos trying to find something more to dislike about totk all the time but i promise im not!!

the three dragons being some unexplained mystery, beings that are there yet few can see them, timeless, nigh untouchable, they dont act on anything, they dont talk, something about them has always made me look at them in awe; if it turned out they were just yet another cool(tm) sonau guy that ate a stone ... :/

not a fan of that one lads, but dont worry, i will keep my thoughts to myself from now on, i dont want to ruin other peoples fun nor seem like i just hate everything ... the three dragons are just really important to me so i had to say something

#ganondoodles talks #tloz #totk #totk spoilers #totk spoiler #besides i have leanred that i tend to have the unpopular opinions and frankly im tired of the hate directed at me #if you disagree thats fine but please dont spam me with why you think its cool actually #bc it just feels like yet another argument starting as to why im wrong and need to be talked down to and also suck actually #sorry its been all over my timeline on twitter so i just had to throw my dumbass opinion out there again #and it was a few times more than id like in a row where my random thought posts where torn apart by arguing people needing to prove im wron #the dragons where something i just absolutely loved in botw #they hold a special place in my heart and i dont like the thought of them too being just yet another sonau thing #i feel more secure posting my thoughts here than on twitter #but still i dont want to sound overly negative so i will hold back from now on #unless im exhausted and overly tired and not feeling that great physically like right now i guess lol #ill just have to grit my teeth and try to ignore everything i dont like but everyone else loves like always #anyway i need some sleep #ill be fine after that i think #and then try to resume work on destiny and a commission i havent had the energy to get to

[duck-n-clover]

Help! I'm trying to settle something with my roommate!

#i know this is gomma be one of those things where i get my world view shattered etc #but i always saw it as a bull. #idk man #polls #rb to prove me wrong n stuff its just v funny

[baby-xemnas]

i cant help but portray law as a type of guy that thinks "i'm so lucky and blessed i have to kms"

#read: dramatic #gratitude being a key to what makes him- him is so great i love him.... #im not sorry that i only started caring about you after all the fanservice with bepo #bepo is what takes him from good to great #prove me wrong ya cant #bepo is the main crewmember and embodies all the silliness and love of his crew #them being law biggest fans is channeled strongest through bepo #add: bepo was always the best part of you since meeting you #but i didnt want to get fooled again where he wouldnt matter....i experienced being frustrated with the manga over gin already #but 0da did the right thing #so im in :)

[gibbearish]

btw its interesting the way james tries to imply that like. well the videos that have plagiarism are the ones our dumb stupid annoying patrons requested about bad topics that didnt deserve to have the effort put in to covering them well so basically its fine. like obv thats interesting on its own but moreso the fact that he doesnt actually /say/ it, or like. give a list of the videos hes referring to, just says "those videos are very clear on which ones they were" i think as a nod meaning like "yknow the ones everyones talking about". unless what hes meaning is that like they put a note in certain videos saying "this video was requested by a patron, we here at james somertom incorporated do not espouse these views" which seems unlikely to me. idk methinks maybe it's because there is indeed a lot more than people think and with all the buzz he's not sure which ones have been discovered yet or not, so putting down a solid list that missed some would look like he was still hiding things whereas putting down a fully sourced list would be admitting to wayyyy more than anyone's found yet

#which is ironic too bc if he genuinely did want to prove he understood what he did wrong and that hed changed thatd be the way to do it #yknow like a full list of every single source including ones no one has found on their own or /can/ find anymore would a) be taking full #responsibility and b) make people less likely to always be like 'youre still hiding something' #which in turn makes me super think hes still hiding a lot of somethings #also cant go without stating that the 'request a video topic' thing was only for $100/month patrons after 3 months on that tier #like fucker these people gave you THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS AT LEAST and youre trying to blame it on them?????? #no one forced you to make 'let patrons pick video topics' a reward dude like. hello???????? #shit dude even hbombs highest tier ($10 for anyone wondering bc he doesnt see his audience as a money machine lmao) #just says you can vote in polls about future topics #like that makes complete sense to me as a version of this‚ the most dedicated audience members get a say in the future of the #channel while the creator still gets overall control of the direction #also 'patrons who gave me fuckloads of money asked me to make videos on topics i didnt like so i plagiarized those' is i think uhhh #worse than just 'i plagiarize everything without remorse' frankly? #like at least with the second youre just a general shitbag but the first where youre a shitbag specifically to the people #majorly financially supporting you rather than just like. be an adult and say 'hm i dont feel like that topic really works for the channel‚ #do you have any other ideas?' #or dare i say even perhaps yknow. doing what other youtubers do in similar situations and find ways to tie that subject #to what they usually talk about is just. wild #course that last one would take actual creativity and aint that just the crux of the issue #james somerton #or i say cannot go without stating i should say cannot go without restating kwnrkabdkwbrn

[truethes]

anyway i will be so, so honest here it's always been the doomed narrative from this blog, ever since i came back to tumblr in 2021 because ... my god.

dr1 will always be my favourite dr game, i love sdr2 and enjoyed drv3 but it's the tragedy that comes with this. characters thrown into a novel situation where they don't believe they will ever kill, but it unravels, and ravels ... the area they called to make themselves safe becoming a horror of keeping them trapped. people who once protected one another harming one another. they all wanted bright futures, but because of the class they were, who they were accepted with, they were doomed the moment they entered hopes peak, they were doomed to kill the majority of their classmates because of how close they were in the first place.

yasuke matsu.da, sat.ou and juu.zo will always be my favourite characters outside the game cast because god, they were also doomed. because they died for their love, in their own ways. yas.ukes love for jun.ko pushed him into becoming a hero, a martyr, to ensure they could live in their own peaceful disreality, a reality in which ended up causing him to murder and manipulate simply to keep it safe, only to get destroyed by it from the inside out. sat.ou loved mah.iru, and protected her for that, even entering hopes peak to lead to her doom - there was no point going after someone as popular even as a fellow reserve course student, but she did, and she fell - an eye for an eye. and juu.zo ... well, he's the embodiment of it, isn't he? " because you'd die for love, you always will. " a devoted keeper to a man he believed he could never have, following his orders like a dog always will do with a bone; the moment he was scorned, thrown away, he took the final sacrifice - to save those above him, in lieu of the lie he had tried to hide all along. dying with that mans face in his sight one more time.

kuro has always been my favourite doomed by the narrative pawn, but mikuni will always have strong ties to it, tsubaki and the other serv.amps who come across the count only to find those they care for doomed in one way or another. joe and kai being some of my favourite muses simply because chapter 1 on yttd was brutal, joe who wasn't even supposed to be there's passing awful, kais last stand to the life he was doomed to participate in truly awful. neuville.tte and kave.hs ties being so personal, so long - but never being able to show that all along.

now my hsr muses .... if a muse on this blog isn't somewhat doomed by the narrative idk what to tell you about their future.

#❛ ♡ › jupiter : 𝐨𝐨𝐜. #long post / #NGL THIS HAS. KICKED MY MUSE TENTHOLD. #expect me around while i just. freaking mourn #its always doomed by the narrative. #its always the richard sil.ken quote: THERE IS NO OTHER VERSION OF THIS STORY #sorry to ppl who write and ship with me ... #the reality is #i write the doomed narrative to fix it. to get the better. to prove the very foundations wrong #doomed is not permanent. love and relations and hope and friendship. im a firm believer that anyone can find it with the right company #and i will write the happier ending. no matter if all of my muses end up canon divergent in turn #(spoilers)

[juneviews]

a boss and a babe is giving me all of the most random combination of gmmtv actors I like lmao, book hugging mike on that bike had me weak, mike & fluke bickering on the beach was iconic & fluke cracking leo’s poor back made me laugh. not even mentioning force & thor being exes lol, it’s like a randomly generated lineup but it works bc they’re all my underrated faves, so slay <3

#axelle rants #a boss and a babe #YES I've been won over by this show lol honestly love when a show proves me wrong #to be fair it was deffo set up by its mock trailer but I actually am having a great time #leo being there is so fucking random but I ain't complaining hehe #the only thing I don't like about that show is that they made drake the villain lmao leave my boi alone why does he always get shit roles #he's like off a couple of years back & I hope he gets better roles soon just like off has had since 2019

[dishsaop]

does anyone have recommendations for fictional media that has like. actual lesbians in it. not like supergirl Two White Skinny Girls, One Blonde and One Brunette Kiss media, or "its implied lesbianism!!!" but just regular fucking lesbians

#i say lesbians but i guess i mean sapphic #im just like. tired of gnawing #and of men also. sorry men in my life i love you but on god if i have to pretend one more man is butch just to get #content that isnt m/m or m/f im going to turn into a horse and run into the wilderness until im saved from the glue factory by a plucky #young woman except instead of letting her have her formative summer where she trains me and bonds w me and wins a competition w me #im going to commit horse suicide in front of her & change her life forever. just because im so tired of bland CW-marketable women kissing & #digging for scraps in a refuse bin while brushing aside 7002993829292929939292929399394 gay and het romances #m text #i will also take nonfictional lesbians if its like a story #not to be whiny on main but one of the hardest hurdles i had to jump wasnt realizing i was a lesbian. i came out to myself and to friends a #lesbian multiple times. but i would always walk it back when a friend would express doubt or a male friend would ask me out #bc i dont and especially then didnt know very many lesbians in person. and so i had to turn to examples #and all i fucking had were fictional women who liked men. or fictional lesbians who were so cleaned and sanitized and prettified #(you all know what i mean right. the 2 skinny white girls one blonde one brunette. im not crazy right) #and i would be like. i dont feel things when i look at these fictional lesbians so i guess i belong back here #(this is also bc my gender ended up being fuckier than i realized but shhhhh) #I WAS GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THESE TAGS but theyre too long and im lost. #anyway the point is if people werent so fucking weird abt fictional or onscreen lesbians maybe thered be a lot more people comfortable bein #out as lesbian #like sorry but this awful ouroboros of 'all lesbians onscreen have to be cute and sanitized' meaning that people write and believe wlw has #to be cute and pure and sanitized (OR a 'badge of honor' bc good for u u doodled two women together or had it as a background in ur fic) #meaning that therefore all portrayals of lesbianism continue to be like this. is just #and im also gonna be honest theres probably a lot of good sapphic media im just in the wrong circles to have stumbled into lol. so #yknow. personal viewer bias here #but i still like swing wildly between overly brandishing my dykeness as a badge to feel like im proving im lesbian #and like. backing up under a blanket bc i dont wanna be weird or annoying or freak people out #but if people just Saw Normal Ass Lesbians. aough. #im going to watch revolutionary girl utena one of these days even if i struggled w the writing style the first few episodes #I JUST WANNA SEE AN OLD BUTCH ONSCREEN GET SOME PUSSY. #like it also doesnt help im mostly femme4butch so seeing 2 femmes on screen is like. okay cool so what. but only femmes are 'marketable'

[senil888]

so uh. for anyone still looking at using cohost. they shared their March financial update.

they are, at best, four weeks from closing up shop and ceasing to exist. They may not be able to get emergency funding from their benefactor who they've been out of contact with for a while in time, and even if they do it just delays the inevitable.

Centralized social media is inherently expensive. Especially developing the software from scratch, and extra especially when one of your main devs is working on a different but mildly related project meant to be a better version of patreon and kofi. A good idea, but like.

you can barely develop and work on ONE platform to make it break even.

anyways. despite it's promise I cannot even think about suggesting cohost as an option. They've been in this "oh my god we're running out of money" situation for MONTHS now, this isn't a new "oh shit sudden expense" time. If they can't get money now, it's joever for cohost and ASSC.

#which SUCKS because I admire what they were trying to do #unfortunately they're inevitably proving a point: spinning up a new social media is so expensive that you have to exploit users #be it advertising or selling data #unless you want to get paid barely what your role is worth #personally I hate how much they dissed on volunteer labor (re: the fediverse) in their March financial update post #like. do they not know how the old web was funded? it was passion projects. done for the sake of hosting. #maybe they ran ads but ads then weren't garbage like today #(and even then user submitted ads are always an option) #the fediverse is generally run like the old web. but if the old web could talk to other parts. #volunteer run. paid for as a passion project. donations jars to help cover costs & as a nicety #if I ever run one for a community I'd only want to open up a donation box under very specific needs #and to see cohost be so dismissive of fedi as a concept just felt wrong. #it felt like a disrespect to the old web. to how we used to do things. #cohost fundamentally relied on the good grace of their proprietor to exist.

[thenibblets]

Highlighting a part of the Kirsten interview that @parisian-nicole shared.

Maybe today's bullshit episode is part of the "other satisfaction" between the Garvez satisfaction.

Crossing ALL THE FINGERS that we're in the "Aww man" stage and the "Wait, what?" stage is coming and it leads to real Garvez.

Trying so hard to be hopeful but goddamn I am so dejected right now.

#garvez #garcia-x-luke #kirsten vangsness #I swear I will lose my mind #cm writers I hate you right now #please prove me wrong or I will wish every time you get new groceries they instantly spoil and you step on Legos #Also I hope you always feel a pebble in your shoes but can never find it #This has been a PSA

[silverysongs]

in the dying candle's gleam

In bed, she stares up at the canopy and wonders how it would have been if she’d been braver. Arthur, she would say, I’ve never danced like that before. Arthur, no one has ever insulted me the way you do. Arthur, how many times have you snuck out and been a commoner again just because you can disguise yourself so well? Arthur, you make me frightened and happy all at once. Arthur, I think I want you. Arthur, I think I love you.

And then what? Would he be shocked and then make some awkward excuse and leave? Would he laugh in pure amazement? She thinks of Lancelot, towering above her, bending down to kiss her with such tenderness, looking at her with fire in his terribly noble gaze. No, Arthur would not be so passionate, not at first. But perhaps he would take her hands, and smile like he had today when he was looking at her, so soft, like a boy, shy and sweet, and then he would say, I think I love you too. And perhaps then he would kiss her—not those cold brief kisses that they did for the crowds—he would lean in, slowly, to give her enough time to pull away, and she would hear his breath trembling, and later she would ask him, Was that your first real kiss? and he would look charmingly embarrassed and say, Was it very bad? And then she might say, Well. You just need practice and encouragement.

There is a difference between dreams and reality. Guenevere knows this; she and Arthur and all the rest have been trying for months to close the gap between the two. Reality is hard and harsh and unyielding, difficult to mold, harder to change entirely. Dreams are soft. Like Arthur’s laugh. Like Arthur’s eyes. Like Arthur himself, at the core of who he is, wanting to reach out and touch the world and change it, easily.

Reality is also frightening. It scares her, whatever that unspoken something was, in his eyes, in his touch, in his patience with her black mood, in the wild way he’d spun her around the room and made her laugh. Guenevere lets her dream fade, because she knows she cannot reach out and change what is real: if she says something, she cannot truly predict how he will answer. She rolls onto her side and tries to sleep.

#camelot musical #camelot revival #enjoy some drabbly fic folks! #intending on posting more.... soon #not giving an exact time because i don't want to get anyone's expectations up #anyways this is post-what do the simple folk do #i just. love that genny and arthur have the same problem. they are so afraid to say it out loud. #(is this an excuse to headcanon anxiety for genny? or is that just me projecting?) #also I will always be describing arthur as soft. it's just accurate. prove me wrong #he's got a spine and he's got strength. but there is an inherent softness to him. also adhd. #please give me comments if you so desire! i love feedback #my writing