#but i also hate doctor visits | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

phosphophylight-of-my-life · 10 months

Text

oshi no ko aqua is such a fun character bc by most counts he's a more than decent guy.

in his first life he regularly visited hospital inpatients who had no visitors. he was genuinely happy and excited to help Ai deliver her babies, because he wants her to be happy on her own terms. he saves Akane simply because he can, and gets angry at the staff on her behalf. he doesn't stop at saving her life and spends sleepless nights turning around her public image. at that point there was nothing in it for him to keep akane around, she was just a person he was able to help and wanted to help.

by most counts he's a pretty decent guy who steps up when people need him most, except. except he's also a guy who really wants to kill his dad and that makes him manipulate people somewhat often and this is somehow not entirely at odds with his instinct to help others

#oshi no ko #like he's a doctor i can rly respect yknow #except for the patricide thing #gorou said do no harm unless it's my dad #also the way that gorou regularly visit patients is something SARINA has to tell the audience and not gorou #bc to gorou is nothing worth mentioning #for quite a while i was like man gorou is kind of sleazy for only visiting sarina esp when she's so young and vulnerable #but he visits the others also... sarina was just the most special patient to him because she introduced him to ai and also #because she was a kid whose parents never showed up #also SPOILERS FOR LIKE CH90+ OR SMTHING BELOW #the way aqua doesnt let akane dirty her hands like ok aqua we get it you want the best for everyone who isnt your dad #wipes tear someone get him therapy hes a decent guy who's ruining his life #also the way he is conscious of how he's playing w akane's feelings and tries very hard to be honest with her and to do her right #like sigh okay aqua i GUESS i cant hate you #and that one ghosting kana arc where i wanted to beat him up and then he was like i dont want to drag kana into this & he looked terrified #like SIGH. OKAY. FINE AQUA i cant hate you after all #like apart from the patricide (which is big know) the biggest downside to his personality is how cold he is #he pushes ppl away all the time and is just borderline rude #but like idk i feel like thats a byproduct of his 'i plan to go to jail for patricide and dont want to drag others down' mindset #which is like... well. you can't hate him for that.. he's looking out for others in his own way

264 notes · View notes

quietwingsinthesky · 3 months

Text

i do think a lot about the master & the doctor both deliberately seeking out other regenerations of each other than whoever they’re mostly interacting with. especially when they just want a chat, a moment’s truce, something that could be called comfort if they dared to put it into words. easier to do those things when, well, they’re still enemies, but the hurts are farther apart in time. ‘i’m your future, you’re my past, we’re both still hurting each other where we come from, but that’s a different me and a different you, and tonight, can’t we just play a game or share a bed for old time’s sake?’ you know?

#and its very much not a secret thing obviously. theyre both very aware theyre doing it. theyre crossing up their timelines like crazy.#anyway this idea brought to you by me reading a summary of a fic where thirteen goes back in time and fucks simm!master aldjfkgjks #which is. a little off topic from what im going for here. but yeah also that they do jump around the timelines to have sex.#but something about that fic idea specifically intrigued me because like. there’s that whole year where the master is just in one place #playing the part of harold saxon. he’s not going anywhere.#and like what if versions of the doctor just showed up. to bug him. to yell at him. to lay side by side on the floor quietly for as long as #they can both manage to stand it. and obviously to have hate sex on his desk.#i mean what kind of angsty fuckery would that dredge up right? to be able to visit the master before he even dies in their arms in his #timeline. and its not about stopping it or anything. just about the fact that he’s there. he’s not going anywhere.#idk. something to think about i guess.

9 notes · View notes

disengaged · 29 days

Note

hey pegs i'm so sorry about all the shit going on atm, idk what to say but hope ur okay + it all gets less fucked up v v soon for u

THANK U ♥️♥️♥️

i finally got to talk to the OT and the RSW today (ON MY FOURTH DAY HERE ?????? smfh) and they let me have clothes >:) and some markers and sudokus and stuff. still have the security guard following me 24/7 & can’t leave the ward or have shoelaces but whatever. i feel so much more human now that i’m allowed to wear pants

#i appreciate u thank u sm ♥️♥️♥️ seriously #they’re letting me do this weird loophole thing where i’m technically a voluntary patient and can have privileges #except the resident doctor told me in no uncertain terms if i try to leave they’ll form my ass again #they’re just doing it cause it’s easter weekend and all staff except nurses are off from tomorrow until tuesday #so this way ill be a little less miserable. like a shitty consolation offering for the next four days #but i’ll take it #and my friend is coming to visit tomorrow and bring me a new book and maybe some snacks #asks #dorimares #pegasus speaks #also tmi but i haven’t shit since sunday #and i have a lil ... yeast situation going on #i hate it here bro <3 #you’re so sweet for checking in though it means a lot to me :’-) 💕

6 notes · View notes

rosicheeks · 17 days

Text

😓🤬

#I fucking hate doctors and the medical field so much #I was FINALLY starting to get on the right path #called a php place and think I know where I’m going #have a therapist I’ve been talking to here and there #I’ve been trying to get into a psych evaluation right?#called 5+ places the other day and they all had 5-8 month long waitlists #I need to get most of this shit done before June #so that ain’t gonna work #called the psych place my doctor referred me to #(would like to add that I did call this same place right after my doctor visit a few months ago and they never called me back)#so I had no hope they were even going to pick up #I was shocked when I heard someone picked up and even more shocked when they said they had an opening for fucking Wednesday #literally I felt like everything was finally aligning #I scheduled the appt for a zoom meeting at 10am #then I get a bunch of random emails saying my appointment was changed #now I have two different appointments- Wednesday and Thursday both at 9am and with a totally different doctor #so I was like???? ok guessing something happened but I didn’t think much of it - called to figure out what day it actually is #when I called to confirm they told me that I can’t be tested until I get an internal referral #I told them I did get a referral???#they looked at it and it was just a referral for depression not adhd or anything else #but then when they looked more into it they found in the notes she wanted me to get adhd testing #SO she just forgot to add it to my referral #I get people make mistakes #but this is like the 4th time something like this has happened lately #I’m just trying to be healthy #and it is fucking RIDICULOUS how incredibly hard it is to find the proper help #also the girl yesterday when I made the appointment said yes to all my questions but sounds like she doesn’t know what she’s talking about #was like ‘does this test for adhd and autism?’ ‘yeah for sure’ and then I find out they don’t even test for autism #so now I have to find a totally different person to either do both or just test for autism #either way I feel incredibly disheartened and overwhelmed and sad

4 notes · View notes

free-boundsoul · 4 months

Text

Do you ever have a headache so bad that you want to just stick a needle in your skull to see if that relieves the pressure?

#i need to go see my doctor about these damn headaches since my meds are getting less effective #but i really hate the doctors and im currently several states away sooo hopefully it goes away soon #also sorry for my lack of activity im visiting my partner so ive been very distracted

5 notes · View notes

mejomonster · 11 months

Text

One of my favorite anxiety tips i read, was this: if you tend to fear the worst outcome will happen or be very stressed about something (like say going to the grocery store, a party, going to the doctor visit, riding the bus, whatever)

Before you go, take a moment to think out a few things. 1. Think the worst case, that you're possibly fearing, and what you might do if it happened or what consequences it might have. Say you're worried about going to the grocery store. For me, I may be worried worst case they won't have what I need, I'll forget what I need, the cashier tries to talk to me and i royally fuck up what I say, they call me a bitch, maybe I run into an ex at the store who tries to follow me. For me maybe I'd plan to just leave asap if any of those things happen: just go straight home, never go to that specific grocery store again, do my shopping online next time from a different store. Basically I think of what I'm scared of, and what my plan maybe is if it happens.

2. Think of your best case scenario. Really be indulgent, whatever is your personal best case. For me, if I don't want to see anyone, my best case is the grocery store is quite empty and I don't have to look at anyone, everything I need is there and easy to get to AND the Jean jacket I really want is there for sale for like $6 and in my exact size, and maybe when I check out I get complimented on my hair (or the cashier barely notices me). For you, it might be that you get tons of compliments on your cute clothes, everything is cheaper than usual, you meet the love of your life in the baked goods isle and they get your number and ask you on a date, you run into your best friend there and she talks to the cashier for you (if you don't like talking to the cashier), and you get to pet a puppy outside the store (if you like puppies). You can make the best case scenario as awesome as you want it to be. (And honestly you'd be surprised how potentially awesome the actual outing could be... I did my "best case dream scenario" for a vacation I was worried about once and 90% of my unrealistic best case stuff happened).

3. Now think of a realistic case of what will probably happen. Something in between your worst fear and best hopes. For me, for grocery shopping, the realistic case I'd think about would be: I go, some stuff is for sale and somes expensive but I mostly end up spending what I planned, it's a bit busy but no one talks to me because I don't talk to them, if I see anyone who lives around here i dont want to talk to then i just walk away from the area they're in, I get most of what I went for but maybe forget a couple things or they don't have them, I check out and maybe say "have a nice day" to the cashier and feel stupid but I leave and the cashier forgets what I said because they don't know me and see hundreds of people a day. I leave. It's not a super great time but it's not super awful.

When you actually go, the realistic case you thought of is the closest to how it will probably actually go. The realistic case is usually something that can be gotten through. (And if you thought of worst, best, and realistic cases, and the realistic is still "i get physically hurt badly" or "I have a panic attack and have no safe escape and try to kill myself" then it's probably fair to just Not Do it even if people are pressuring you to).

If something worse happens, you might already have a plan for it (my plan is to leave immediately if something I really dislike happens and pick a different grocery store in town in the future), if something better happens (like if you love puppies and get to pet one) then maybe scary outing had some parts you enjoyed.

This doesn't work for everything. It's helped me with some everyday situations though.

#anxiety #rant #advice #so like. personal examples of when it has worked versus has not:#when i moved out of my parents i had an unhealthy codependent and quite traumatized relationship with them #it was simply NEVER safe to bring up certain topics with my mom. and visiting my mom #always included in the worst case scenario: leave immediately if she screams or hits you. drive a neighborhood away and park #immediately call friends so you dont try to kill yourself in the middle of a panic attack.#and also included: if you cant call a friend when you go? then do NOT go to moms. if you cant safely escape if #a panic attack starts? do NOT go over there.#so like... even with worst best realistic cases? there were times it simply was not safe to visit my mom #because the worst case risk of suicide attempt with no one to reach for support was Not something safe to risk #likewise say your situation is you left TV at physically abusive ex's house and want to pick it up #the reality is. if you have no people to back you up. then worst case the ex may hurt you if you #go over alone to get your TV. in which case you simply Cannot go get your tv. not without friends. the worst case isnt #worth the risk.#now situations where best worst realistic often helps me? doctors #im horribly afraid of them. worst case: they refuse to treat me while im actively dying and i need to go to ER #when that happens i dont usually risk shit with doctors #but if i AM stable enough im not actively dying? then worst case is they hate me and refuse to help me #and then i go find a New Doctor who treats me respectfully and helps me (ultimately a bad outcome that i can endure and fix)#best case: doctor greatly improves my quality of life and helps figure out whats wrong and treat me #normal case: doctor orders some possibly useful test and prescribes a possibly useful med afterward #and if it helps yay. if it doesnt help i call them or have another appointment and they try some #more tests and meds.#best and normal case are good. even worst case i can endure (as long as im not actively dying)#this also works good for: should i go to party. to fair. to store i like. to discord chat. etc #if its something you Really Like then your Best Case Scenario might be so wonderful it will make you want to bear the fear to do it anyway

3 notes · View notes

yawn-emoji · 2 years

Text

#who i was march 24 2022 and who i am now are completely different people. i remember crying in caffe reggio to zay sun and adiba because #my dad was in the hospital and we didnt know why and we werent even there to support him and my mom because we had travelled to nyc that #morning. and the whole trip was overshadowed by this sense of grief and fear and horror at what was unfolding back at home while i was #trying to pretend everything was okay and that i was fine. i never cry in public but i cried on the q train while visiting my coworker who #lives in manhattan and then i sobbed in a xi’an famous foods location in manhattan w my brothers because the cheapest and earliest train #home was that night and i had no idea what to do w myself #and when we got home finally we all knew what the diagnosis was but nobody wanted to say it not even the doctors. i dont think anyone used #the actual word cancer to us for months. they cloaked it in such technical terms so as to make it easier to swallow but it was still like.#an elephant in the room yk? nobody told us the stage either but it was a stage iv glioblastoma and i remember going on r/glioblastoma and #just crying reading all the posts abt how difficult this disease is. most projections were six months to a year and a half. a lot of people #even chose not to get treatment because of the high probability that it would make no difference to the prognosis. i have no idea whether we #made the right choice going w chemo or not honestly. only time will tell i guess. inshaAllah this will prove to have been the right choice #idk what im even trying to say now. i just dont reflect a lot on where i was when this started because it’s… almost too painful. i have #given up so much for my dad at this point and i still feel like it’s not enough but also i’ve been trapped by this sickness and i’ve given #up my life to it and idk how to rebuild myself from here. i need to move on w my life but what if these are the last moments w him and i #take those for granted by not staying home to take care of him and spend time w him. again idk what im trying to say here i just have no #idea how we got to this place. it still feels like some insane fever dream that i will suddenly awaken from #seeing pictures of my dad even from 2021 is the hardest thing. i have no idea what happened to that bright funny charismatic loving man. he #is literally a shell of himself at this point and i hate it. it actually turns my stomach sometimes because it all is so wrong #none of this was supposed to happen he was supposed to retire peacefully somewhere tropical in a couple years not get diagnosed w cancer #journal #illness tw

13 notes · View notes

chanyoungies · 1 year

Text

its so funny how much i dislike visiting doctors when thats my moms like. fave thing to do

#i also am oddly. like. not distrustful bc like i am not one of those ppl who like. dont believe in medicine or whatever?? but like #i do tend to b like i dont need <3 a doctor <3 ever <3 #which is funny bc i also think im p bad with pain #but i also believe that i could be actively dying and still wld choose not to visit a doctor probably .#i stopped going to whoever was in charge of my migraines bc the first meds he gave me werent working and i absolutely hated having to take t #time to visit him n do all he asked for so i was just like nvm mom actually my migraines r better now dw <3 so we'd stop going . although ik #ik the reason why he cldnt help me was bc i prob didnt say enough etc but like yeah idk im living well now ig #i remember learning at some point that the person we were going to for my (n my brothers) braces actually fucked up and the braces werent p #properly measured (or whatever) for our teeth n thats prob why it was so painful so i think that was fucked up i never agreed to braces ever #ever since* even though i absolutely hate the way my teeth look #i dont like checking my eyesight because thats . well first of all time consuming to take the time to arrange n go to an appointment but mos #most importantly its embarrassing as fuck why is it so embarrassing . for real why #if i wasnt a litte crybaby i probably wldnt have gone to the er when i broke my foot bc i honestly was convinced that i was relatively fine #n didnt wanna go but i cried to my parents abt what happened when they got home so they were good parents n took me to the hospital . but ye #no one asked for my medical history im sorry guys

3 notes · View notes

wrecking · 2 years

Text

genuinely just want to lay in bed and cry all the time as of late but you know i can’t just like Do that so i need to find some form of outlet for this

edit: i did not expect the tags to be this long, sorry for that

#d #haven't felt this consistently bad in a long time #idk what it is specifically like if it's the college thing or the injury thing or the Me Suffering Mentally thing or all 3 #as time has gone on since i finished high school i've always kinda struggled imagining . any sort of future for myself at all #i feel like i'm coming to the realization that i'm not really ever going to be not codependent just because i'm so Like This #and like that's fine in my head but i know everyone else is going to hate it all the time and also hate me for it #and it just makes me so. why can't i have been born into a family that actually listens to me or respects me #why can't i get out either. at least without tearing this whole family apart #not like it matters much to me cuz i've always felt like a stranger but i know it'd destroy them #but also all of this ^^^ shouldn't even fucking MATTER right now because i'm struggling enough with college prep and trying to cope #esp with the 15000000 doctor's visits and health scares and everyone insisting i have to uproot every aspect of my current routine #for whatever god damn reason (some valid some not) so i'm just constantly uneasy and uncomfortable and i feel like i'm getting more unstable #it's frustrating watching my parents seem cordially concerned about my health or my college status or something #but anytime it's not what they want to hear or i disagree with them about something it's immediately back to them treating me horribly #and also the fact i can't like. add onto this at all cuz to my parents i'm so. clueless that if i reveal any of this-#i will spend the next 100000 years fighting for anything i say to be seen legitimately regarding anything at all.#like i can't change anything without fighting like hell but i also can't stay the same so it feels like i'm losing all my agency #and being forced into things i'm either not ready for or don't want #but i can't oppose or speak out or ask for anything else because either i'm ungrateful or too naive to be involved in the conversation #i feel like i'm being excluded from the conversation if you will about my entire life. everything about me i find out after everyone else #god sorry i ranted in the tags tonight. gonna just post this and delete it in a few hours :zany:

10 notes · View notes

rhinoyo · 2 years

Note

what kind of adventures do you think Marian would live after. well. leaving sharance? :0 i didn’t play past day 1 of rf3 (but i do want to continue it) so i have literally no context of the world but what do you imagine her doing after running away?

GASP THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING marian’s mentioned wanting to visit & learn from the doctors of other towns so i’ve always believed she’d travel norad (most of the rf world) :] <3 i don’t imagine her staying in one place for long, though i am fond of the idea of her having a magical treehouse or something like that as a home <3

i do think she’d visit sharance from time to time, if only to see her friends back there <3 (by then wells would probably not be the mayor anymore so she’d be happy seeing how it’s improved :) <3)

#askz #bestomato #THANK U GLADIIIII I LOVE TALKING ABT HER….. <33333 #(in rf4 raven is a cameo chara; and she says that marian asked her to tell her abt norad’s other doctors)#(and i think. she should get to visit them herself :>)#my au definitely has the self indulgence of wanting her to visit selphia my beloved <3 #and also just to escape the confines of a town where the mayor genuinely will not trust you if you do not have a romantic partner HAHA <3333 #rf5 is decades after 4 & 3 so it would take a while for her to be able to see rigbarth #but because she’s aroace and trans (i know this) i imagine she’d be overjoyed to see such an lgbt supportive town compared to sharance :> <3 #(it’s not like. sharance being a ‘Bad’ town is even. canon…. but half of my view of it is based off of wells’s ABSURDITY)#(+ just how the older games were obviously weird about being gay. though. well. gaius’s lines with micah are a thing)#(rf3 IS my second favorite rf game and has my second favorite cast :] but well you know. wells. I AM RAMBLING EBDNBD???)#(I HAVE LOST MY POINT. BUT. marian invented rune factory hrt canonically and wells hated her for it and this is my basis for this au.)#(the end HAHAHAEBDJBDN <333333 THANK YOU <3333)#(you are loved and appreciated and i thank you for thinking of me and my silly mari ideas <33333)

6 notes · View notes

insert-game · 11 days

Text

feeling The Dread and The Sadness today. SAD

#fucked up and evil #i think i’m really just anxious about having to visit my family in 2 weeks. i really hate leaving my House and also. i think it’s exhausting #so much Social Performance in one week. and i’m not very social to begin with. i feel like i need to recover after hanging out with people #for like 3-5 hours lol #ALSO #the manufacturers that nearly all the pharmacies around here order from just DONT have my kind of testosterone #i have missed my shot for 2 weeks now and tomorrow will be week 3 of missing it and i think it’s really messing me up emotionally #i have to call my doctor again tomorrow to get them to send it to another pharmacy to see if those guys have it bc apparently the fred #meyer around here orders from a different manufacturer #shout out to my regular rite aid pharmacist who said i was a Good Customer and wanted to keep me there but understood why i was looking at #other places to get it. he told me what pharmacy to check. thank you king 🙏🙏🙏#so hopefully they have it in stock. i feel so upset i’ve nearly missed 3 weeks of shots now. i’m scared i will get a period again

1 note · View note

kiyrian · 4 months

Text

Medical rant in the tags bc i had a terrible dag/visit/year