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#but how in the world are you going to try if you don't acknowledge that you're different?
sincerely-sofie · 3 days
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Chapter 4 of Sofie Plays "Slay the Princess": The Wild (Part 1)
I can hear what sounds to be a crying woman in the background music amidst ethereal vocals and I am not happy about this.
[ Beginning ] - [ Previous Part ] - [ Next Part ]
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Okay wait wait wait WAIT. I'm really latching onto that last line but hear me out as I ramble for a bit. The Princess is not human. As far as I know, she can't even die--- though that might just be my bad luck and decision making at play. She describes herself as having no beginning and no end. This game tinkers with the concepts of time being cyclical, and the Hero and the Princess's memories are both untouched by time looping, unlike the memories of the Narrator...
... Is she the reason time is looping? The Princess is without end and beginning. In other words, a circle. Is she the embodiment of a time loop?
Alternate theory is that this game is a surreal allegorical story for man's quest for immortality. The Narrator is somehow a representation of the fear of death, and the Princess's imminent threat of destroying the world isn't as pressing of a threat as the Narrator makes it seem. She's inevitable, but she's not in a rush to end things. She said in the first chapter that she likes the world--- though that might have been a lie, come to think of it. The Hero might be a representation of an individual's struggle with death, and how oftentimes when we fight against it, we only draw closer to it. Maybe the whole "this is a love story" line hints at the Hero accepting the inevitability of death, and therefore falling in love with life?
Y'all I'm just slapping things at the wall and seeing what sticks. I don't think either of these theories will prove to be true, but they sure are fun to speculate over!
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Okay yeah no I'm definitely playing an allegory for accepting death aren't I. Mankind trying to fight against death and prolonging lifespans past that which would be natural seems to be the symbolic undercurrent of that line.
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Narrator are you even listening? It's the wifey talking. But in a disconcertingly neutral, mystically monotone voice that concerns me.
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I wasn't even asking myself that second question before now and now I have MANY CONCERNS.
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OH MY WORD the narrator's memories are affected by the loop but he's aware of its existence. That's what this means, right?
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... I might have disobeyed the entire premise of the game? Just a little bit?
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Okay okay this implies that the Hero, if my "allegory for the inevitability of death" theory is true, doesn't represent mankind. But if he doesn't, then what is he?
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YOOOOOO NEW PARTY MEMBER!!!!
I'm picturing an exchange like the following:
Hero: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Hunted? Hunted: ... No. Broken: I do. Hero: I know, Broken. Broken: I'm sad. Hero: I know, Broken
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I mean, there are probably worse things to be... eaten alive, for one thing.
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Reading this and thinking about how "this is a love story" and losing my mind and losing my mind and losing my mind and---
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Asked the Princess why she was being nice to me after the whole, y'know, swallowing me whole thing, and she's a bit touchy on the subject. She just as quickly resumed the otherworldly calm front, though. Does she have multiple Princesses like I have multiple Voices?
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Ah. Hm. Well then.
If I'm going to be assimilated into the world around me and the being I'm struggling against, I'd like to do so after acknowledging the repressed fear I carry. It is time to ponder the orb--- I mean, terror in my heart.
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Hahaha thinking about Twig/Ark's early relationship and not crying whatsoever rn :))))
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Got a little worried that maybe I actually was a magic all-encompassing forest and had grossly misinterpreted the situation, but hearing the Broken express reluctance to leave a situation in which he's playing pretend at everything being okay makes me feel much more confident in the decision! Nice.
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... Are we the same being, but divided in two? That definitely doesn't sound right, but this line makes me wonder...
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OKAY ONCE AGAIN I KNOW THIS IS A SERIOUS SCENE BUT I'M JUST SITTING HERE THINKING ABOUT THAT DOG IN MONSTER HOUSE
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Broken sweetie you read uncomfortably literally as someone who's been through a very bad relationship and I think you need therapy even more than the Hunted does.
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I'm really tempted to see what would happen if I actually fulfilled the premise of the title... but I'm really curious about where that first dialogue option will lead.
We cut her free.
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The Narrator threatening us for letting the Princess go is something very interesting and I don't know what else to say other than I'm worried.
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Hey chat why are the borders of the screen turning red?
Hey chat why is everything going dark?
HEY CHAT WHAT'S WITH ALL THE ARMS THAT SWALLOWED THE PRINCESS UP AND DISAPPEARED INTO THIN AIR, LEAVING NOTHING BUT A MIRROR BEHIND?
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I barely got a screenshot of the last frame of whatever that was and nearly threw my mouse across my room in the attempt.
I am once again coping with humor:
Hero: I'm sorry I'm such a handful. Princess: I have two hands. Hero: I--- look. If you want to play semantics, fine. I'm sorry for being a hundred handfuls. Princess: Hero: Princess (while sprouting several hundred arms): Try me.
(Ran out of image uploads. See you in the next post!)
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robotpussy · 9 months
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ppl who use pretty privilege unironically, i cannot take seriously
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hella1975 · 1 year
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this isn't meant to like. make you give your opinion on Discourse™️ or anything I just wanted to ask, but I keep seeing people upset about taylor dating mr. 1975 and I can't figure out if it's bc he's a terrible person or just a greasy alcoholic 😭😭😭 do you know what's up with that guy??? like on one hand I like not knowing things about celebs and I should keep it that way. but also
i, unfortunately, do know what's up with that guy and it's that he's said something problematic about every faction of society at least once. for me i have some weird, reluctant fondness for him because he is just a train wreck and he's such a twat all the time that at least it's nondiscriminating, and i also like that when he sings about mental illness it's bc he's actually BEEN THERE and been publicly a mess bc of it and been addicted to drugs and acted like a dick, and he ACKNOWLEDGES THAT, but also at no point am i gonna jump on the 'he's an amazing person' parade bc generally he is just a sleazy idiot. it is weird watching people suddenly dragging up every single thing he's ever said to be like 'look! this is why he's bad for our tay tay!' when the running joke with matty healy is that he's just a prick. like u dont need to expose his moral fibre. u can just say he's a prick. and also as funny as the jokes are she's still a grown woman who's been around the block a few times when it comes to dating. i think she will be okay maybe
#idk that's just what i think though. like he's been cancelled more times than he has songs and yet a lot of us are still here#and he acknowledges it like there's a running gag at his live shows where he goes to say a very explosive sentence and then he gets cut off#by the band with a random song it's so funny. like he'll go 'i just think that immigrants- *LOUD GUITAR*' & i think that's a part of it too#is that a lot of people don't get that sometimes he's being ironic? he takes it too far and these days he's annoying#but idk ive seen certain instances where im like. that went over so many people's heads#idk i just dont think he's Evil and Malicious i think he's just a prick. like people can just be pricks even if they're super famous. wild#he's so fucking pretentious but he got famous for being REAL and his music has helped a lot of people because of how real it was#like i made a post a while ago about his song 'give yourself a try' and how the concept of it is literally#'life is a little bit shit to be quite honest with you and you WILL get fucked over by it and fuck yourself over but you're here anyway#so you might as well give it a go' like???? so many mental health ballads are like 'the world is So Beautiful and So Are You'#but matty healy ALWAYS has gone actually it isnt and you arent. whatever though#and i just really like that#ask#also big disclaimer that i dont have an encyclopedic knowledge of all the dumb shit matty healy has said ive just been listening#to the band for a while and have picked shit up along the way. if it turns out he's done some actually reprehensible shit that ive missed#then that's literally bc i do not actively run in 1975 circles and do not intend to ever start <3 so dont yell at me LMAO
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suncaptor · 18 days
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there's something specifically inside my head that is closing up that makes trusting anything so hard. i have to manually keep my mind open to the potential of anything being significant. i am so used to things being bad and things hurting and things not working and being powerless that it takes an exorbitant amount of mental energy to make sure I don't let myself shut down possibility. and I do it because I never want a certainty inside of me besides love to rule anything. but I want my brain elastic again. i want it open like breathing. it doesn't erase the unfairness or the critique or any of the bitter-built philosophy.
#it's so hard to describe what I mean. i think it's the combo of the like. specific part of my brain's development + the amount of trauma#I have endured + the degree of which that has been taking place on a backdrop of the world being incredibly injust no matter what I do#this is very very silly but the extent of how much this impacts me was made clear by how like. closed off I was to even liking an album by#my favourite singer. like obviously I am obsessively keeping myself open I would never let my preconceived sense of doom and stubbornness#control my willingness to let things in#but it shouldn't be so hard to keep my mind open to things like... liking my favourite musician of most of my life's music...........#and that's a VERY silly example but that's why it's easier to talk about. it takes so much work to be open enough for things like therapy#or religion because they've damaged me so much#how am i supposed to handle this on a backdrop of constant constant helplessness in the face of living insecurity and illness and trauma?#the problem is if you try so so so hard again and again and remain hopeful regardless of how illogical that hope is#but you get let down so constantly since you're never stop trying ever even when systems fail you again and again#and you're watching horrible things happen and everything that shapes you is horror#then regardless of how much you try it's so hard to let yourself let go of the very realistic lived experience of doubt and critique#and I DO. do NOT get me wrong. I am obsessive and refuse to be my own problem#but the act of doing so shouldn't be like this. it's in everything i do. from simple things like listening to new music to even the mere#possibility of a future#i am very worried this one is going to be misinterpreted bc I AM NOT saying I'm stubborn in the face of systems that have repeatedly failed#me. I AM NOT. I am saying to not be shouldn't take this work when it envelops the rest of my life.#if anyone reads this far please please acknowledge the degree of which I almost pathologically try again and again when I can guarantee#nearly everyone wouldn't and still fight to keep myself open to hope because that's just something in me that is like that. but BEING like#that is. repeatedly putting yourself in situations where you are powerless already and helpless to get better and then are hurt more and#there's no way to escape it's just the repeated nature of it and then trying to not be the issue.#it's the problem in itself.#my ambition SHOULD be smarter.#god I'll go into this when I fully understand it another time. i don't think i have this phrased in a way to make all the dots of what i#mean correlate in the significant ways to anyone but me#but hey i guess i'm expecting anyone to read this in a light to misperceive me in the first place instead of accept maybe I'm not explainin#well or giving me the benefit of the doubt. see.#delete
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louderfade · 5 months
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youtube
exene talking about the state of the world. the good stuff starts at eight minutes. or you can just read the transcript complete with the usual errors that accompany robot transcribed speech (the irony of which is not lost on me). maybe it's not about transhumanism and living forever (or maybe it is who knows), but there's definitely an agenda of surveillance and control at work which is designed to keep the powerful in power. cash rules everything around me and you will own nothing etc. the future is worse.
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#google has helpfully flagged this as a 'conspiracy theory' which let me know it was definitely worth paying attention to#sometimes a conspiracy theory turns out to be flatearth-tier but anything those in control are putting effort into discrediting#concerns me and makes me look deeper. if they're going to the effort to control the discourse there's something there that#threatens them. anything google calls a conspiracy theory is worth a closer look. it often means someone has gotten too close to the truth.#she's brave to be talking about this shit they basically cancelled her and forced her to apologize for talking about how they want#to take our guns and the media is lying to you and stirring up fear so they can get away with passing gun control#like wtf leftists should be all about gun rights. a disarmed population is totally at the mercy of the state's authority#it's not very punk to surrender entirely to regimes in power and let the only people with guns be the police#like c'mon guys we need guns. and it's like drugs. they exist anyway. better they do so in broad daylight than in the shadows#they let adam curits talk about this stuff for some reason and no one calls him a conspiracy theorist idk why but there's a reason#i guess his stuff is not a threat to them bc it's dense and heady and seven hours long so the masses will never absorb it#ex punk rocker yelling about new world order in plain language monologues of digestible length is a much bigger threat#i swear there are secretly fifty people in control of everything and their entire aim is to make sure it stays that way no matter what#but it's really gross how obvious it's getting like the whole system just funnels money straight to the top and they don't even care#about hiding it anymore they're just doing it out in open and denying objective reality with confidence it's too much sometimes#i swear i can feel my grasp on reality deteriorating. it's as if there were a loud buzzing in the out of doors that was getting#louder every day and nobody ever said anything to acknowledge that it was real nobody talked about hearing the buzzing but it just#keeps getting louder and i'm finally like wtf is with this buzzing and everyone gets mad at me for shouting over their netflix show#that they weren't really enjoying in the first place. like no one is happy in the modern world. why can't we talk about why without#turning against each other. that's why doug saying 'maybe we're all the same' is such a big deal to me. anyone who is trying to unite us#is doing important work. that trump supporter is not the enemy. they are the victim just like you.
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your--isgayrights · 2 years
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It’s orvuto anon again, I stalled on your pinned post again — experimental neuroscience?? :eyes:
Yesss. I'm actually an undergrad neuroscience major... Like writing and art and stuff is just for fun, I wanna be a research neuroscientist one day lol.
#That's why I practically haven't posted the past few weeks cuz I'm back in school#I'm also in a lot of east asian history classes because I'm minoring in east asian language and lit for fun#and I've been running into this barrier recently where I feel like its hard to explain to people the overlap that exists between hard#science and the needs of the individuals that science is supposed to help you know#like for me the reason being a research neuroscientist is so appealing is because if you're going to pick a job where you mostly do busy#work all day then being in a research field just means you know that whatever pointless thing you're doing or failed experiment you perform#everything you do is a piece of data that's going to contribute to this greater process that really has tangible eeffects in helping real#people who suffer from neurological disease. which I think is comforting in a world where doing a little never feels like enough#What I've been thinking about lately though is that I have an inherent belief in that system because I really believe in the ability of#people to do good in it because I'm coming from the same frame of rationalist mindset that a lot of research is based in but that in#clinical applications there are a lot of inherent biases that prevent people from knowing what illnesses they have and how to receive#treatment for them... because in my east asian history classes we've been talking about different belief systems and ways of thought#that sometimes have to do with medicine or psychology. and I always think that it's interesting to analyze practices that are mysticized in#modernity through that lense. but it's become apparent to me that it's hard to express that interest as genuine to religious people without#them feeling as though I'm dismissing their beliefs rather than trying to analyze how they interact with the physical reality that I know.#and it made me realize that the dismissiveness of western science towards religion combined with ableism in society makes it hard for peop#le who have the symptoms of things like psychosis or mood disorders that might have an associated role in a religion to feel like#psychiatric diagnosis or treatment isn't a complete insult to who they are as a person and I think that's the fault of a lack of compassion#and respect for others in clinical practice... its just like a social norm that i really wish would change. because i don't think physical#reality has to be dismissive of spiritual beliefs when acknowledged but because of some of the habits of western scientists and#certain subsects of christianity people don't think about it enough to have that conversation sometimes...#that's just what i've been thinking about lately lol.#personal#ask#anonymous
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anti-transphobia · 2 years
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There's a lot to be said about people who see positive blanket statement posts about emotions and human experiences and saying "not EVERYONE can feel love of any kind, not EVERYONE can care about others, not EVERYONE can experience empathy OR sympathy, not EVERYONE can xyz " but one thing I never hear people say is: yeah that's why it's a disorder
There's a big difference between advocating for "hey, not everyone can feel some sort of sympathy for others and that doesn't make them a bad person" and then seeing posts about how amazing it is that humanity has gotten where it is because of our ability to care for others and connect with each other on our issues and help each other through things and taking that as an attack on people who do not experiencing these things
Because yes. That's why it's considered a disorder. People are not bad for having disorders! There is no reason to stigmatize ANY of them. But it is a disorder. It is something different from the normal average settings of the human brain. If it wasn't, these people wouldn't have a disorder!
So when people say something like "caring for others is a deeply human experience" it doesn't (inherently) mean "if you don't care for others, you're not human". It means humans were meant to care. And if you don't? You're not a bad person. But it's why you have a disorder. The way you feel or don't feel or act or refuse to act is not intended
I'm not sure I'm wording this right but like. If you don't experience a unifying human experience because of a disorder: that's why it's considered a disorder. You're not less human than other people, and you're worthy of respect. But there's no reason to get offended at people talking about it. "Don't call this normal thing normal because I'm different!" Yes that's why it's a disorder. That is why. It's a disorder
As a person with many stigmatized disorders that has left them missing out on normal human experiences: part of having a disorder is acknowledging that you're different. And that's fine. And it can be sad to realize that you've missed out on something so important to others and the history of humanity, and it's not your fault, but you don't need to lash out on other people's celebrations of it
#this post is really about like people complaining about varying abilities to care and connect to others but I'm sure it can apply to other#things#not written the best but oh well#also like. if you lash out because you know you're different which is okay to be! the things you could improve on for the good#of yourself and others#you won't be able to#my desire for justice has existed within me since birth. however so has pure undiluted violence and hatred#i was one year old the first time i tried to kill my father#i also lacked empathy sympathy AND compassion#i am inherently a ruthless motherfucker#and that didn't start to change until a few important turning points in my life#where i had to understand myself and teach myself otherwise for the benefit of myself and others#now not everyone can 'teach' themselves out of a disorder#like depression isn't removed via knowledge you need to get better#but understanding myself and that im different and why things like compassion and sympathy and empathy are normal#led me to slowly start trying to display more compassion#it led to me being able to experience sympathy towards others#and even eventually the teensiest bit of a few forms of empathy#not everyone can do that and I'm not saying everyone can#but how in the world are you going to try if you don't acknowledge that you're different?#(not EVERYTHING needs to be 'fixed'. like low empathy people can be wonderful. i specifically had to be fixed for the better#and could not do so without recognizing the importance of what i lack)
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astrxealis · 1 year
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sorry one last: i think it's interesting how peoples own experiences change their perceptions towards things. like milgram
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#⋯ ꒰ა milgram ໒꒱ *·˚#like whether you think fuuta is forgivable or not#of course feeling guilty doesn't absolve him of his sins but in that case man are you going to vote everyone guilty#hmmm... it's really really complicated and extends to real world issues genuinely so it's hard to say for real#fuuta is partially responsible. but not the only one responsible. i think he's right in how he says that 'why only me?' and stuff like that#but he's sort of. not acknowledging. kind of trying to run away from what he's done in a sense. actually idk#LIKE... he's saying stuff like 'you're the same!' and all but he should yk. admit he's in the wrong.#love you fuuta but i get how that's like and he really needs to improve in that regard but then there's how. drama audio#it is really concerning... if he's voted guilty i'm not sure he'll survive. and tbh voting innocent might actually. Help him#i could explain but also it's sort of difficult to. but if someone does ask! hello!#i think the first trial. guilty helped bcs yk... he needs to realize his mistakes but it's. so frustrating too#bcs why he? why is (only) he guilty when the others are too? say like. yk.#it's because he's sort of yk 'aggressive' and all. it's a bit frustrating that people jump to 'guilty' immediately for the ones like him#in milgram that probably actually show regret more than the others who were voted innocent. or are like mikoto ifykim#and it's because of... often it is bcs of surface-level. thinking. and god it is all so complicated#and i don't want to say anything that's actually harmful but i think fuuta was forgivable from the start bcs he didn't mean it#that doesn't erase the consequences of what he did and everything but. hm. god it is all so complicated idk anymore#anyways guilty first trial is best but my personal beliefs would say innocent. i would still have voted guilty tho#like i said before and like what jackaloupe said. it's interesting if we choose based off our morals or what would be best. and ^^ yeah#for second trial... innocent. and my personal beliefs say innocent.#1. he's already been given a taste of the same medicine 2. voting guilty likely will have more concerning consequences#3. evidently more regretful and feels more guilty & less of a hero complex thus showing improvement of sorts#i'm trying to look at both sides and thinking of what would be best... anyways glad he's like 80% innocent at least <3 !!#but i think i wholly get people who still vote him guilty. though i personally don't agree at all. but i understand#hbgjhagha so complicated#edit. another thought i just remembered! fuuta targeted someone w/o much evidence so... basically someone innocent#it's different from kotoko in that she actually targets awful people. so i'm still really conflicted#that's the thing... and the fact idk whether i can really say oh futa's a good guy at heart. bcs. he seemed to... enjoy it. yk#and that's the thing. the crew behind milgram is obviously trying to make us think a certain way as well
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im reading this outdated thinkpiece from the fucking 90s on why its irresponsible of the US to conserve forested lands because really all that means is that we are deforesting the rest of the world instead. and instead of conserving land what we should be doing is making timber production more efficient. and i am going to have a stroke.
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tearlessrain · 2 months
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please help me- i used to be pretty smart but i’m having so much trouble grasping the concept of diegetic vs non-diegetic bdsm!
gfkjldghfd okay first of all I'm sorry for the confusion, if you're not finding anything on the phrase it's because I made it up and absolutely nobody but me ever uses it, but I haven't found a better way to express what I'm trying to say so I keep using it. but now you've given me an excuse to ramble on about some shit that is only relevant to me and my deeply inefficient way of talking and by god I'm going to take it.
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SO. the way diegetic and non-diegetic are normally used is to talk about music and sound design in movies/tv shows. in case you aren't familiar with that concept, here's a rundown:
diegetic sound is sound that happens within the world of the movie/show and can be acknowledged by the characters, like a song playing on the stereo during a driving scene, or sung on stage in Phantom of the Opera. it's also most other sounds that happen in a movie, like the sounds of traffic in a city scene, or a thunderclap, or a marching band passing by. or one of the three stock horse sounds they use in every movie with a horse in it even though horses don't really vocalize much in real life, but that's beside the point, the horse is supposed to be actually making that noise within the movie's world and the characters can hear it whinnying.
non-diegetic sound is any sound that doesn't exist in the world of the movie/show and can't be perceived by the characters. this includes things like laugh tracks and most soundtrack music. when Duel of Fates plays in Star Wars during the lightsaber fight for dramatic effect, that's non-diegetic. it exists to the audience, but the characters don't know their fight is being backed by sick ass music and, sadly, can't hear it.
the lines can get blurry between the two, you've probably seen the film trope where the clearly non-diegetic music in the title sequence fades out to the same music, now diegetic and playing from the character's car stereo. and then there are things like Phantom of the Opera as mentioned above, where the soundtrack is also part of the plot, but Phantom of the Opera does also have segments of non-diegetic music: the Phantom probably does not have an entire orchestra and some guy with an electric guitar hiding down in his sewer just waiting for someone to break into song, but both of those show up in the songs they sing down there.
now, on to how I apply this to bdsm in fiction.
if I'm referring to diegetic bdsm what I mean is that the bdsm is acknowledged for what it is in-world. the characters themselves are roleplaying whatever scenarios their scenes involve and are operating with knowledge of real life rules/safety practices. if there's cnc depicted, it will be apparent at some point, usually right away, that both characters actually are fully consenting and it's all just a planned scene, and you'll often see on-screen negotiation and aftercare, and elements of the story may involve the kink community wherever the characters are. Love and Leashes is a great example of this, 50 Shades and Bonding are terrible examples of this, but they all feature characters that know they're doing bdsm and are intentional about it.
if I'm talking about non-diegetic bdsm, I'm referring to a story that portrays certain kinks without the direct acknowledgement that the characters are doing bdsm. this would be something like Captive Prince, or Phantom of the Opera again, or the vast majority of bodice ripper type stories where an innocent woman is kidnapped by a pirate king or something and totally doesn't want to be ravished but then it turns out he's so cool and sexy and good at ravishing that she decides she's into it and becomes his pirate consort or whatever it is that happens at the end of those books. the characters don't know they're playing out a cnc or D/s fantasy, and in-universe it's often straight up noncon or dubcon rather than cnc at all. the thing about entirely non-diegetic bdsm is that it's almost always Problematic™ in some way if you're not willing to meet the story where it's at, but as long as you're not judging it by the standards of diegetic bdsm, it's just providing the reader the same thing that a partner in a scene would: the illusion of whatever risk or taboo floats your boat, sometimes to extremes that can't be replicated in real life due to safety, practicality, physics, the law, vampires not being real, etc. it's consensual by default because it's already pretend; the characters are vehicles for the story and not actually people who can be hurt, and the reader chose to pick up the book and is aware that nothing in it is real, so it's all good.
this difference is where people tend to get hung up in the discourse, from what I've observed. which is why I started using this phrasing, because I think it's very crucial to be able to differentiate which one you're talking about if you try to have a conversation with someone about the portrayal of bdsm in media. it would also, frankly, be useful for tagging, because sometimes when you're in the mood for non-diegetic bodice ripper shit you'd call the police over in real life, it can get really annoying to read paragraphs of negotiation and check-ins that break the illusion of the scene and so on, and the opposite can be jarring too.
it's very possible to blur these together the same way Phantom of the Opera blurs its diegetic and non-diegetic music as well. this leaves you even more open to being misunderstood by people reading in bad faith, but it can also be really fun to play with. @not-poignant writes fantastic fanfic, novels, and original serials on ao3 that pull this off really well, if you're okay with some dark shit in your fiction I would highly recommend their work. some of it does get really fucking dark in places though, just like. be advised. read the tags and all that.
but yeah, spontaneous writer plug aside, that's what I mean.
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inkskinned · 9 months
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no, actually, where is the whimsy?
my ex had a best friend named larry who asked me once: what do you think comes after irony?
we were at the bar where larry worked. it was a quiet night, and he'd hopped over to sit with us on the patron side. i swirled the lemon around my limoncello martini.
earnest positivity, i said, while my ex said, art self-destructs.
i stared at my ex. he stared at me.
his argument was the cinemasins argument: look how bad media is becoming! look at the loopholes and the dumb shit!
it was roughly 2011. galaxy print was still in. at the time, i had a favorite shirt that was a wolf howling at the moon. it got ripped in half in the wash and i honestly still mourn it. i dressed like effie stonem, because everyone did. and irony was the name of the thing. men liked MLP "ironically." the internet liked the kind of crass, "anti-mainstream" vibes of things like fuck romance, touch my butt and buy me pizza. we put cats in sunglasses everywhere, which was because we only liked things in irony.
and media had the same vibe in it: anti-hero white men would be "hard to love" and then storm off the scene. nobody was just earnestly trying to save the world: they were jaded, angry, unoriginal. mad you even asked them to try to help.
my ex ends up not being wrong. cinemasins becomes super popular. a lot of people start viewing media with this lens that is the cruelest, most jaded depiction. it's wrong for your character to have unexplained powers, even if the entire movie is about how strange it is she has unexplained powers - that is still considered a "loophole." characters make thoughtless, panicked choices? loophole. characters are actually kind people, despite hardship? loophole. features a woman doing literally anything without assistance? loophole. movies become hyper-aware of scrutiny, and now irony rules the media.
which means you go to a movie, and the character has to turn to the screen and say "beats me!!" or one of the side characters has to have some kind of quip like "are you seriously telling me that you think this is normal?" because nothing can happen in earnest. like a sitcom laugh track, we now anticipate the fourth-wall break: the moment that the media acknowledges it is telling a story. the media has to apologize for itself, or else someone like my ex rolls their eyes.
but here's the thing: i wasn't wrong either.
the difference might be that i am (and always have been) so soft-hearted that any crack in the light of this world will spear me into the ground. and i was the poet in the relationship. (he thought that was the same thing as being naïve and stupid). i was making things daily. i knew how all of us artists are driven by some strange desire to evolve. he notably liked to critique art, not to create it.
so yes, i've made things that are bitter and angry and even ironic. i've made long, sharp poems with all capital letters, and i've made poems about how the silence stretches out like a song. someone wrote once that we will spend our whole lives just circling the place we grew up. i think it's more that we spend our whole lives trying to remake a home. i think it's that as we age, it becomes less exciting to build the castle on the beach - we become aware of erosion, of windforce. we realize what we really want is to come home to our dog, castle or not.
and while art in the foreground is mired in white male violence and irony, and aggression, and not taking anything seriously - i don't think that's true of all art. i think more and more artists are leaning in to the things we love. the world has changed so much. they have taken so many things from us. the only thing we have left is love. at the bottom of the moving box - all we get is the faint sense that we have to appreciate what little we've got. i can't enjoy this stuff ironically anymore: what room do i have for irony? if it makes me happy, that is an amazing thing. there are so few happy places left for me. i want to be happy because of how leaves shiver beside each other like nestling birds. i want to be happy because of the color pink, and how magenta doesn't exist. i have spent so much of this life suffering, i have earned my right to a gentle ending. if nothing matters, i get to assign meaning to the nothing. i get to create meaning. i am an artist first and foremost, which means creation is my thing.
where is the whimsy? wherever i fucking put it. because if this is my last fucking chance to do any good in this world - i want to do it earnestly. i want to write things that make you happy. that make people feel heard and seen. what comes after irony has to be positivity.
it was close to my 21st birthday. in 7 years, i would end up writing a book about this relationship, which is hopefully coming out somewhere around May 2024. i come back to this bar scene in my memories a lot. i keep thinking of how pale my ex was. the look that crossed his face. how i looked back at him. how for a moment, both of us couldn't recognize the other person. like the gulf between us was a suddenly wide and cavernous thing. like we were alien to each other. he never took my opinion seriously, and he always seemed surprised whenever his manic-pixie-dream-girl ever broke free of the plot. like in the whole time we were together, i wasn't human enough.
this knowledge: where he said nothing comes after, my only instinct was what comes after is love.
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genderqueerdykes · 3 months
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people often talk about the amount of transfems who have to stay closeted for safety very often, and it is a lot of people, but it's very rarely acknowledged how many transmasculine people have to stay closeted for life as well. i really think it's important to talk about both sides of this, because so many people are affected by this issue.
society is openly hostile toward transmasculine, afab, intersex, and other ""non male"" people who genuinely try to pass as men. people like to say that it's accepted for afab people to crossdress-- but it's not. truly "crossdressing" as an afab person will get you mocked and threatened. before i transitioned, people would actually approach me and tell me that i couldn't wear men's clothing when i did. this never happened when i wore "masculine women's clothing." never. cishet people can tell by the subtle differences in the cuts of clothing, it's not that black and white.
attempts to behave in masculine and male ways will get you targeted. whenever i would hold open doors for men in my conservative redneck 1,000 person population home town, they would look at me like i had 3 heads when i was pre-transition. women aren't allowed to hold open doors for men, that's a man's place. women aren't allowed to use heavy machinery or tools. women aren't allowed to try to foot the bill. you get the picture. even certain masculine behaviors will get you yelled at or berated or worse.
going on testosterone is outright terrifying because unless the person responds to it poorly or doesn't take a very high dose, the effects are almost immediately noticeable, and many are completely irreversible. while most cishets don't know what a trans man is, they can instantly tell that they hate transmasculine people once they encounter one, especially one in very early medical transition. i had the worst time in the early days of my transition because i was such a "he-she". it really is hard, cishet people do NOT like this combination of features, either once they encounter it.
it's not easy for any of us, and it's tragic when any trans person has to live their entire life closeted for fear of safety. let's go ahead and acknowledge the transmascs, trans men, intersex, transneutral, nonbinary, genderqueer, drag king, crossdressing, transvestite, male impersonating, genderfluid, bigender and other folks in this sphere of transness who also have to hide for their own personal safety. we see you, you are beautiful, you are still trans even if you can't show the entire world who you are.
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shotmrmiller · 3 months
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Multiverse part 3
You sat in a small room on a padded chair, with equipment set up around your arm, chest, and fingertips. A polygraph test. That's what you were being forced to take. And to your chagrin, Ghost is in the room with you and Captain Price.
"Try to relax, yeah?" Price commented. He must've noticed your restless leg.
"I'll do that, shall I? I've done nothing wrong, other than exist and I'm being interrogated. Because that's what this is— an interrogation." You finally turn your attention from Ghost to look at Price, who's sitting at the desk by your side. "Tell me, Captain. Did you get this same treatment when you came back after spending all that time locked up in the gulag?"
His dark eyebrows furrow in confusion. A sigh escapes your bitten lips. That's only in your...world, for lack of a better term. Dimension? Universe?
"I haven't been to the gulag here." Yeah, obviously.
With an impatient wave of the hand that doesn't have cables strapped to it, you mutter, "Let's get on with this circus act, then. Ask your questions."
Ghost steps forward, his arms unfolding as if he's about to speak to you, but Price swiftly intervenes, halting him with a raised hand.
"Alright then. Baseline questions first. Name." Ghost gives away nothing when you say your last name is Riley.
It goes like this for a few, then he switches to the control questions, until finally moving on to the relevant ones.
"How did you get here?" I don't know.
"Do you know why you're here?" No.
He pulls up a photograph. "Recognize him?" Captain MacTavish.
Another photo. "Him?" I don't know.
"What do you mean by that?" If that's Roach, I've never seen his face unmasked.
"You're sure you don't know him?" Unless that man's name is Gary Sanderson, no. I do not know him.
Price acknowledges your response with a nod, then shifts his gaze towards Ghost, whose head slightly tilts forward. Returning his attention to you, he retrieves a final photograph. "What about him?"
As you look at the picture, your eyes begin to well with tears, lip trembling violently. A new fracture reverberated through your tender heart, intensifying the ache in your chest. Yes.
"Who is he?" Price softly asks.
"That's my Simon," your voice broke on the last syllable. It was hard to not use a possessive adjective when the face of your husband was in that picture.
Blinking the tears away, you clear your throat. "Anything else, Captain?"
Price purses his lips under his hefty facial hair and responds, "Just a few more questions."
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Once finished, you sat unabashedly staring at Ghost in the tiny room. "I wear Roach's tags alongside yours, in honor. He was with you until the very end, and for that, I couldn't be more grateful."
Ghost is completely silent, but you continue talking anyway. "I've been married to you since a bit after you came home on leave that one time. You know the one."
His eyes are emotionless, blank, as he stares at you. But you know him like the back of your hand. You've got his full attention.
"I accompanied you to your brother's wedding. He married a woman, Beth. She was good for him. They had a baby, your nephew, named Joseph. The love you had for him was one of a kind. I had told you later that evening that I dreamed of the day you'd look at our children like that."
With a shuddery breath, you tell him how none of those matters. Because your husband is dead, and you're stuck here. With his counterpart that hates you.
With a hushed click, the door closes shut behind him as he leaves, yet its resounding noise fills the compact room you're in.
You begin to fidget with the sizeable ring that hangs on a thin necklace beneath your shirt— the metal is warm under your touch as if it had never gone cold in the first place.
As if Simon had never taken it off his finger to go find Makarov.
ah theyre short but hurt. much pain.
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aphroditesmoon · 4 months
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wish you'd ask me
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clarisse la rue x fem!demigod!reader
summary: you're not good at reading subtle hints, clarisse realises that maybe she should've been more upfront with her feelings for you.
warnings: fluff, oblivious!reader, clarisse is down bad, reader is very neurodivergent coded, kissing, flirting, title n fic inspired by 'Wish You'd Ask Me' by Matt Maltese.
A/N: thank you for 1.9k followers!! I love you all dearly, my ask box and dms r always open, im glad that my writing is being enjoyed by so many people<3
wc: 4.5k
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You have been in camp half blood for more than 4 years. You have made yourself at home for the last several years. 
It was easy to view yourself as lesser or inadequate in comparison to other mortals during your days in the real world before you were sent to camp. The world has never failed to remind you of how different you were. Always too much or not good enough, always special and never normal
And it wasn't like you were dying for some sort of diagnosis to justify why you are the way you are, but upon discovering that you were actually a demigod, it felt like all the questions you've been harboring to yourself was finally answering themselves. 
Everything clicked. Everything made sense, though at the same time, it felt impossible. You were a very confused little girl when you first arrived at camp. A girl who just wanted someone to tell them that it'll all be alright in the end.
And you still remembered the first person to hold you by your shoulders and made you look into their eyes as they told you that it was all going to be okay.
The girl with beautiful long curls and dark piercing eyes. The girl that everyone else, apparently, was afraid of.
But you could never be afraid of Clarisse La Rue. 
Not with the way she smiles when every time she sees you, the way she never fails to make you feel included even in activities you're not capable of participating in. Not with the way your whole body electrifies every time your skin touches, when your hands brush against each other. 
It didn't matter what anyone think, because no one could change the perception you've built of her. Clarisse La Rue is good. Or at least she is to you.
When you first heard of the rumours surrounding her, you did think better than to force a friendship on her. You strayed away from her and stuck to your cabin siblings and your books, but you noticed daily how she'd still go out of her way to talk to you at least once a day.
It didn't need to be a long conversation, just a passing acknowledgement. An easygoing 'hey, how've you been doing.' Sometimes she'd even go as far as cracking a joke with you.
With how serious her face is whenever she make the jokes, you'd have to think twice as hard and thrice as faster than another person to try and guess if she was being genuine or not so you could fit in a necessary laugh when you needed to.
Even as her anger became more apparent because of the new kid's accidental climb to fame and embarrassing the Ares' cabin, she still found time to make a conversation with you.
It had been long since you tried to ignore or avoid her. You learned that her attention towards you is harmless, and that she seemed much more comfortable telling you certain things compared to others. If she has been viewing you as some sort of safe box, then you don't really mind it. You liked listening to her talk and keeping her heart's intent as your secret.
You too, talking to her. To some people, you are reserved,  
and to others, talkative. Either way, people find it easy to discard you at any moment they decide you are irritating.
But Clarisse listens. And she asks questions, she's patient- much patient that anyone could anticipate or guess. 
It may be hard for others to believe, but Clarisse is more complex than she seems. She had the capacity to be gentle, and she had the capacity to respect boundaries. The more time you spent with her, the more that side becomes easy for you to access.
Today, however,  marks a new record for your friendship with her. A few weeks ago, she had informed you of her newfound interest in the history of folklore monsters. What a coincidence that you were currently self-studying on that specific topic.
She insisted that you hook her in on whatever it is you're learning. She had even gotten you a doughnut to eat together outside the library as you told her of your insights of dragons and their theorized blindness and incapability to differentiate a variety of prey.
The conversation went well, she seemed immensely in awe of your knowledge and had no problem telling you how she felt. 
You even gave her some book recommendations, though you knew she wasn't much of a reader.
You felt a shift in your relationship that night and had spent the next three days studying more and more about the topic. And today, you had asked her to spend the evening with you. 
You shouldn't feel so nervous asking her to hang out. That is what friends do, after all.
She found you in the library, sitting on the floor in between two large bookshelves. She had been right on time and enthusiastically so. The two of you sat together, hidden by the shelves as some semblance of privacy. 
Clarisse looked confused when you had explained that you indeed wanted to spend the rest of the day in the library, but she accompanied you anyways.
You could never get sick of the smell of the books. Old and new, they all have some nostalgic past tied in between the pages, begging to be discovered. 
You had your back on the walls with tinted windows above your head as she's seated opposite of you in a criss-crossed position.
Today, the library isn't as packed as usual. There were still people walking in and out and checking out the books on the counter, but not too many that it became obnoxiously loud and annoying. 
After finishing another book of Monsters and how to spot them, you're feeling knowledgeable enough to explain the lore of the Giants to Clarisse, she had asked you about this the other day, giants have been long extinct to the point that some might even say they may have never even existed. And so you were interested in sharing with her all of the information you have learned about the majestic species of a beast.
You started with the general information. The basic understanding of what a Giant is the mythhs of Giants and the validity of those sources. Clarisse listened closely in the beginning, never interrupting you unless she had an actual question.
She seemed in awe of the stories you tell her of. You don't blame her, for you yourself have been most interested in the topic of Giants.
You were an hour an a half in when noticed her attention faltering. She leaned against the cases of books, her eyes twitched slightly when you began to explain the different types of giants, and the difference of how they operate.
Her hands are folded together on her lap, and you can feel her listening in on everything you're telling her as she adds in some commentary here and there, but you also felt that she wasn't entirely in on the conversation.
The dim lights of the library made the atmosphere feel warm and secluded, even with its vast space and many other campers hanging around in the other tables and shelves. You made sure to keep your voice low as you spoke in fear of the librarian kicking you out. 
You had a good reputation with the library workers, they liked how organized and polite you were. 
"A lot of people think their greatest strength is their size, which is valid, they are huge, but their real weapon is their mouth." You told Clarisse, ignoring the litter of books by your left that you had brought over for reference.
"They kiss you to death?" She asks suspiciously. You laughed shortly and shook your head. "No, I mean their breath."
She responds with an 'ohh.' 
"They're giants, so their mouth is large too, and you can easily tell what they had for breakfast even from their tall height. Their breaths are also known to be so rancid it could kill you, because they don't exactly eat what we eat." 
She raises a brow as she stretches her hands upwards. "Isn't that ogres?" 
"It's both." You confirmed.
You were about to continue your explanation but halted by instinct as you notice how her mouth keeps pursing together as if unsatisfied, and she has that look on her face that mimicked a confused expression. You're don't think there's anything to be confused of.
"Are you okay?" You asked her worriedly. Clarisse sits up straighter at the question and waved a hand off to assure you she's fine. "Of course, no yeah- I'm fine."
"You seem bored, you're not really interested in what I'm saying are you?” She opens her mouth to counter your words but hesitates to say anything. 
"I- well, I like giants-" She attempts, "-no you don't. " 
"No. I don't." She admits with a sigh. "But I thought you said you were interested in these kind of stuff?" You questioned her. "Well, yeah, like the general idea of it. I mean, I don't hate it, and I like hearing you talk about it." She answers with a shrug.
"Then why do you look disappointed? If you didn't want to come, you could've just told me. I wouldn't get mad." You told her honestly. It was conflicting for you to see her so confused on what to say, being so picky with the words she chooses.
You figured she's probably reluctant to hurt your feelings. That is a notion you're used to. You'd rather she tell you the truth to your face than to be catered around like a time ticking bomb that everyone's so afraid might explode at any time. 
"When you asked me out yesterday, you told me this would be an 'evening to remember." She tells you with such confidence like it was an explanation to her weird behaviour today.
"You don't think this is an evening to remember?" You sincerely inquire.
"No, I do! I just- well, when you said that I didn't think you'd mean we'd be doing this." Your frown deepens as you try to figure out what she means, eyeing her body language closely. “What do you mean? I told you I wanted to hang out.” 
A part of you is offended. She was the one who had said she liked hearing you speak, why would she be disappointed that this was your idea of spending time together?
"I don't know, I thought we'd just be doing...something else?"
It didn't matter what she had really meant with that. You felt completely embarrassed once she finished her sentence. Why was it that everyone else had no problem having long conversations with their friends, but when it came to you, it's all too awkward, unnecessary, and odd? 
You liked Clarisse, you considered her your friend. Sometimes you wonder if it could ever be more, but you never entertain those thoughts because you don't want to ruin what the two of you already have. 
But moments like these resemble a huge slap in the face by the universe.
You couldn't even be good friends with her, how ridiculous of you to think that there could ever be something more.
"Okay, um, maybe we should just go back to our cabin." You decided whilst standing up and picking up the stack of books you're currently borrowing from the library, ready to leave the place without waiting for her.
"Hey, wait." She called out as you walked past her. You spared her a glance, trying your best not to show how upset you are.  “We're friends." She says it so much like a question that you weren't sure if she's even sure of the fact herself until she continued speaking. "I like hanging out with you."
Another thing that you weren't sure if she really meant. "Sure." You replied thinking it's the most suitable response. 
Before she could say anything else, you turned around and started picking up your pace until you disappeared out of her sight.
You have been consistently ignoring Clarisse. Which proved to be harder than expected.
When you pass by her camp or the training ground, you make a mental note to always look down or to your front as to never accidentally cross eyes with her.
And everytime you hear her call out your name, you keep walking like you didn't even hear her, knowing that she wouldn't be bold enough to call for you again. After all, she still had a reputation to uphold.
If ignoring her wasn't hard enough, having to deal with how you felt for her is worse.
You've been avoiding confrontation with yourself for weeks even before you decided to go no contact with her.
And so far, you thought you've been handling it pretty well. Except for days where you don't see her where she's expected to be. You tell yourself that you don't care as you make your way to training in the day and reading in the evening, and yet you still go back on your own words when you asked a passerby Ares kid on where his cabin leader was.
"She's dunking some kid's head into a toilet bowl." Of course she was.
You thanked the dude and went back on your way to your cabin. It's close to dusk, the sky is turning orange and the sun is dipping itself below the earth. You take your time returning to your cabin as you enjoy the way the sun slowly removes itself from anyone's viewing.
You wondered to yourself if things like these are what makes you weird or off-putting to some people.
Was enjoying nature and having niche interests only cute when it's done by girls pretty enough to be cool or if it's only in romance movies or books.
You don't find yourself weird, in fact you think all of your hobbies are pretty common and usual, and yet the way Clarisse had spoken to you at the library last week had made you feel unnatural.
You had wanted to do normal people things with her, but maybe your perception of normal is different to her.
Either way, you are pretty hurt with how she reacted. You loved her still, of course. It's kind of hard to unlike the girl you've been obsessed with since you were 15.
Once you finally reach your cabin, you quickly put down all of your books and your tiny sling back by the side before making it to the shower to refresh yourself before dinner.
You thought it hilarious of how hard you're trying not to care about Clarisse, and yet as you're cleaning yourself up, changing your clothes and attempting to read at least 15 pages of your World's Most Dangerous Beasts book, you could only think of her.
What would it take for her to think that you're cool, what kind of things did she want to do instead of listening to you yap around for 2 hours on what is an equivalent of a boring dinosaur facts, not that you really think dinosaurs are boring.
During dinner, you kept to siblings and had to make yourself finish your plate as your anxiety wrecking thoughts have a way of deriving you of an appetite. You also had to convince yourself to not search for her at the other tables which took more strength than one would expect.
But you succeeded, and you were now sure that the only obstacle left for the day was to try and fall asleep without the thoughts of her keeping you up.
Clarisse is a force, a fierce daughter of Ares, and a cabin leader who had much better things to do then hole up at quiet small places with you.
And just because she was nice enough to mantain a good relationship with you for 4 years, does not mean that you're worth her time. Or at least that's what you tell yourself.
That night, you managed to fall asleep after an hour of recalling Harpy facts in repetition. Counting sheeps had never worked on you, so you had to find something much more active to tire out your brain.
You dreamed of Clarisse with her hair down, holding your hand and pulling you closer so she could slip a flower on your ear.
And just as she's looking down at you, moving closer to do what it seemed like to kiss you, you awoke with a jolt, swearing under your breath as if you'd just gotten jumpscared by a ghost.
Someone's palms moved to shut your lips as you're met with a girl, hovering over you in the dark. Clarisse's dark eyes were recognizable, but it sent a shot of adrenaline through your body still.
"Shh." She whispered to your face, hand still keeping your mouth shut. "I'm going to remove my hands now." She whispered again. You nod in understanding and waited for her to pry her hand away from your face.
"What are you doing here?!" You exclaimed as quiet as possible as she helped you sit up.
"I'm sneaking you out." She answers with a wink. "It's 2 in the morning." You waved your hand around at the darkness and sleeping children. "3 in the morning, and yeah, I know. That's why it's called sneaking around." She corrects you with a grin so devilish that if you hadn't known her for a long time, you'd assume she's about to turn you into a new toilet bowl or dumpster boxing victim.
You sighed loudly and glared at her despite your fast beating heart. Her hand remained on top of yours until the minute becomes more awkward and she removes it as if she just remembered that she's been holding your hand.
Without explanation,  she climbed out of your bed and tiptoes to the open cabin door. You're still sitting up and looking at her with conflicted feelings.
Only after she turns back to you, cocking her head towards the entrance, do you give into her request and softly leave the comfort of your bed and trail after her.
"Where are we going?" You asked after her as she kept walking. Instead of responding, she asks you another question back, "Can you swim?"
"We're going swimming?" You watch her shrug in return from behind her and became even more distressed.
"So, is this your idea of having fun and hanging out then?" She laughs drily and slowed down so you could catch up. You walked fast enough until you're beside her and waited for her to talk. "You sound surprised, I would've thought that after 4 years of friendship, you'd know by now that I love doing things that includes active movements."
You did know that, it's a bit hard to not notice how much working out, training and running fuels her even more.
"And why are we doing it in the middle of the night?" The walk towards the lake by the back of the forest was short, considering that your cabin is the closest to the location.
You almost tripped and fell over a stick, but Clarisse was quick to scoop you back up by the back of your shirt. "Thanks." You mumbled to her. "And you haven't answered my question."
Clarisse pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it on the ground without caring of your presence. You, having more moral obligations than her, twisted your face to your left when she began to pull her trousers off. "Too many people in broad daylight." She tells you.
That is a valid reason, this lake is mostly known as a hook up spot, and true to it's cause, many dating campers have been caught together here during dawn or late evenings.
You braved yourself to turn towards her again slowly and realised that she had already hopped into the water. She had a sports bra on and a boxer.
And though you yourself had a tank top and shorts on, you contemplate the idea of suicide as a better choice than having to strip in front of her.
"Are you gonna get in, or are you just gonna gawk at me from there?" You were grateful for the dark being able to hide your flushed face from her, but deep down, you knew that she probably saw it anyways because of the shining bright moonlight.
"I can't swim." You told her.
"That's fine, the water's not very deep." You ransacked your brain for reasons to decline her offer, but at the same time, a small part of you yearned to take this risk that you've been so afraid of for gods knows whatever reason.
Clarisse is there, in the water and under the moonlight. You are only a few steps away from her. And like she said, the water isn't deep, only waist length. She stares back at you with a raised brow like she's challenging you to join her.
"Turn around first." You tell her. She smirked slightly before slowly spinning to the opposite direction. "You know I've seen you naked before right?"
"What?" You choked out, aghast. "Who do you think changed your clothes for you when you first got to camp." Oh, that.
Your shoulder relaxes as you realize she's talking about the first time you met. "That's was a long time ago." You noted. She hummed im agreement. "Yeah, we've both grown since."
You told her she could turn around once you're inside the water. Forgetting about the heighy difference between you two, the water was high enough to reach your chest, trying your best not to trip underwater the way you always do on dry ground, your hand instinctively reached outnfor her shoulder.
Clarisse held your forearm tightly and drew your closer to her until you're inches away from eachother.
You breathed in sharply and felt the need to fill in the awkward silence. "So, you...like swimming, huh?"
"Yes, evidently so." She answered. "Right right, can't sit still and all that." She actually chuckled at your sarcasm, making you proud of yourself.
"You know, even before I came to camp Half Blood, I use to be a pretty active person, running track, volleyball, sometimes swimming." Your eyes widened in curiosity. "Really?" She nodded.
"The counselor told my mom that I just had so many untapped energy, which I guess is a code for anger issues." Her grip on your forearm moves higher until her palm is over your shoulder.  "She told her that it'd be best for me to find a...healthy way, to channel that energy, and for my strong competitiveness. So I joined what I could, and that's how I spent most of my free time there. Besides, I never was that good academically. So, I ought to at least be good at something, right?"
"You are good." You blurted out. Your embarrassment faded away when you saw her smile. "You think so?"
"Yeah." You assured her. Her other hand had snaked around your waist without you noticing. Only when you moved slightly do you notice her holding you softly.
"The moon is really nice tonight, isn't it?" You said, trying to diffuse the tension. You pointed your finger up to the sky at the singular white orb.
She glanced up and let out a 'huh.'
"I like it when it's bright and whole like this, the moon in all of its glory. You don't even notice the starts around it when it's glowing like that." You could stare at the moom forever, even longer than the way you've been staring at the sun.
You believed in it the way children do with their birthday candle. To you, the moon has always been a symbol of hope or comfort for your future. Your fascination for it existed from when you were a child, the way it'd follow you from behind as you gazed upon it from the back of the car seat whilst your parent drove down the road.
The way it moved above you as you walked home from school, like one of the gods themselves watching over you.
"Nothing compares to the moon." You announced aloud, watching as the clouds around it began to gather over it. "Yeah, It's beautiful." You hear Clarisse speak.
As your head snapped back to her, you found that she had already been facing you.
"I like the moon...but not as much as I like you." She whispered loud enough for your ears only. Her face leans closer to yours, your noses brushing together. "Not as much as I like to hear your voice, when you tell me about your little harpy facts-"
"Oh, I haven't told you about the harpies yet." You cut her off. "I just finished that chapter this morning actually and-"
"-and, you can tell me about it after I'm done talking." You blushed and became silent, letting her speak.
Clarisse exhaled breathily, fanning your face with the subtle warm air. "I like doing things that friends do with you, but I don't want to be your friend anymore."
"Oh."
"I want to be more than friends." She elaborated.
"Oh." Oh.
You feel a sudden tightness in your chest, from anxiety or from butterflies is undecided. "You want to be best friends?" You joked, laughing nervously.
Clarisse snorted at your joke, but she was still grinning widely. "Best friends, If that's what you want to call it."
There was a moment of understanding shared between a second of shared gazes before her lips attached themselves to yours. An urgency, approval, meaning that can't be described by words.
Whatever gentleness there was inside of her before had vanished. Clarisse kissed you like a starved woman. Her lips craved yours like it'd be the last time she'll ever know how you taste like.
Your hands clasped on her shoulder and neck for support as she embraced you tighter to her body. You let her tongue slip into your mouth, meeting your own.
And as they danced together, inhaling all there is in your lips, every secret and every confession that have died on the tip ofnyour tongues, you are sure that no heaven nor hell could tear you open to see you back together like this.
You push her back abruptly, letting fresh air fill your empty lungs. "What's wrong?" Clarisse inquired worriedly.
"Last week." You sighed out, chest still heaving as your thoughts clicked together. "You thought I had asked you on a date, that's why you were disappointed."
She winced at the reminder, and for the first time in your life, you had been lucky enough to witness a flustered Clarisse.
"I'm right." Her silence confirmed. "Oh Clarisse, why didn't you just ask me?"
Huffing loudly, she rolls her eyes in irritation. "I thought I was obvious enough. "
Thinking back on it all, it did seem pretty obvious, but gods were you oblivious. The way you intepreted it all so wrongly.
"I've liked you for so long too." You admitted to her. Her scowl was gone at that, replaced by a teasing smile. "And what are you gonna do about it?" Her mouth returned to yours, letting go of all your fears and holding on to Clarisse like she's your anchor, you close the gap between your lips, welcoming the kind of pleasure that you've never tasted before.
2K notes · View notes
worldsover · 4 months
Text
Better Things ft. Karina, Ningning
length ✦ 7k
genres ✧ toxic relationship; cuckquean; cockwarming; degradation; needy subby gf!Ningning, hook-up!Karina
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Ningning is a doormat.
Ningning is your girlfriend.
Ningning is some girl who lives with you and if she were your girlfriend, you probably would have had sex with her before a dozen other women. If she were your girlfriend, you probably wouldn't have had sex with those women. If she weren't a doormat, she would have left when she caught you in bed with another girl the first time. Would have left when you made her watch the seventh time. Would have left after she ate your creampie out of some random girl you just met at a club. That's why you can't even bring yourself to feel guilty about taking advantage of her.
Well, that, and new pussy's better than guilt.
But to say better implies some level of good. It's fine. You're exhausted. Exhausted from work. Exhausted from dealing with people. You're so exhausted, yet Ningning greets you in the doorway with open arms and a warm hug like she has all the energy in the world. Like you've ever given her an ounce of that energy back. She's wearing a red tank top that shows off her cleavage and short shorts that cling to her toned legs. That could've worked before, could've made you carry her straight to the bedroom.
The doormat must have waited where the doormat belonged, all day, as it tightens its embrace.
Ningning releases you and gives you a chaste kiss on the cheek. The sweetest smile on her face. Eyes like your next words are precious gold. "Welcome home, babe."
Could've made you feel warm inside. You have no gold left to give. "Work was shit."
"I'm sorry," Ningning responds. "You seem stressed." She leans in for another kiss, trying to comfort and soothe you with her affection. Give Ningning an inch or six or seven, and she'll take 26 miles. You don't have the energy for a marathon.
You pull away. "I'm tired," you say dismissively, already making your way to the couch without acknowledging her further.
Ningning pouts. "Right. Of course. Go rest on the couch. I'll get you a drink."
She returns with a glass of water, but you wish it were something stronger as she settles in beside you on the couch. "You're really are tense, babe," she says with concern, running her hands over your shoulders and neck. "I... I could help. Daddy."
Your pet name sounds forced, calculated out of her mouth. It has been too long since you've truly desired or pleasured Ningning, and she makes sure you're aware of it every time she tries to initiate intimacy with you. And even when she does manage to catch your attention, it's only because other women have used her as an unwilling participant in their own sexual encounters with you.
So when she begs and pleads with you now, it's easy to brush off her advances and ignore her kisses. But as she continues to whisper promises and titles like "Take your stress out on me" and "Daddy's good girl," a dark idea begins to form in your mind.
Suddenly, Ningning's hand slips down to stroke you through your trousers and her lips attach themselves to your neck like a leech. She must sense the shift in your demeanor because she becomes more desperate and persistent in her seduction.
You remain silent, mulling over her offer. Suddenly, Ningning's grip tightens on your bulge and she exclaims "Daddy! See? You're getting hard already. That means I can use me now, right? Please, I'll be so good for you."
The rush getting to your head makes you reply in earnest for the first time. "You're right."
Ningning gasps softly, her lips forming a grin. "I-I am?"
"Yep. I need a good fuck."
Her hand slips from your pants as she springs up, jubilant and bouncing with excitement. "Yes! You deserve it," she exclaims, her eyes shining with glee. "How do you want me? Which hole do you want to jerk off with? To dump your cum into?"
You pull out your phone.
Instantly, her joy turns to disappointment as she realizes what this means. "Daddy...why? But...but why?"
You open Tinder and show her all the matches you have.
"No." She pouts, her face genuinely forlorn. "No, please, no, Daddy, I'll do anything. Not another random whore. I've been so good, I did such a good job getting you hard. Why do these sluts get your cock?"
"You barely did shit. You're not good, you're just desperate."
"Please!" She's back to clinging to your arm, back to giving you desperate pecks on your cheek and wherever she can peck, but you don't let her kiss your lips, turning your face away. "Kiss me, use me, anything! What do I have to do? Stroke your cock faster? Gag on your big Daddy dick? Be your personal porn star all day? Please, tell me, I, I need you so bad."
Your gaze vacillates between her and your phone.
"Your cum, I need it. I need you to stretch me out. Daddy, I need you to grope me, throw me around, force your dick down my throat, anything, please, I need you! Please, use your bitch."
You have made your decision. "Maybe later. After I hook up with a hotter girl. You can have seconds."
She has to hold back a tear, shuddering, trembling in frustration. "Later?"
You nod and look down at her, sternly.
"Okay. Yes. Of course, yes, Daddy, you need to… feel good after, after a stressful day. Seeing you happy is more important, and I'm not doing a good enough job."
"You're not."
She swallows hard. "Yeah. So if one of those sluts can make you feel better than me... I suppose I can wait my turn." The kisses that punctuate each of her words, that travel to wherever you allow them, slow down. She has left marks and saliva all over you.
"Are you done?" You hold up your phone. "If you want me to use you sooner, then I'll have to find someone sooner, right?"
"Yes, I understand." She sits up, her hands clasped together demurely. "Wait. But, you're still hard."
"And?"
"May I suck you, Daddy?" she asks.
You shake your head. "I've got better things to do with my time than you."
Ningning begs with her eyes, pouting and pleading. "I know, I know. I'm just a useless needy slut who can't satisfy you... but at least I can warm your cock with my mouth. Right? I'll keep quiet while servicing your cock and you can keep swiping on Tinder."
You lean back in thought.
"You know I can be a good cock warmer for you. If that's all I'm good for… please?"
You examine her face—adorable and needy—her lips twitching as if she's about to burst into tears. She is right. Those very lips are heavenly wrapped around your shaft, sipping and slurping on your cockhead. "Fine," you say.
"Yay!" she celebrates. "Thank you, oh my god, thank you, Daddy." She gives you one last kiss on the lips before going to her place. On her knees, between your legs, in front of the couch. It'd only be more appropriate with your feet on her.
Your focus remains on your phone as you begin searching for a hot girl to hook up with.
"It's been so long since I tasted your—"
"I thought this was for my pleasure," you say. Hearing her speak instead of feeling her mouth on your cock annoys you.
"Sorry. You're right. This is for you. Doesn't matter what I want." She unbuckles your belt and pulls down your trousers.
You nod as you return your attention to the phone screen. You've been picky with the girls you swipe for, but this time, you're looking for anyone with a hot face and nice tits. While your girlfriend is certainly cute, she doesn't exactly fulfill those criteria, especially not now. Especially not tits.
Ningning presses her face against your underwear and takes a long whiff, a smile growing. She runs her tongue on your boxers, marking them with some saliva; its dampness seeps through the fabric.
Grabbing her hair, you say, "Dumb bitch, begging for scraps, did I ask you to do that?" You yank, causing her to wince in pain.
"Ow, n-no. I'm sorry, Daddy." After looking into her eyes for a few seconds, you let go of her hair, then Ningning immediately frees your cock. She's mesmerized as if she's never seen it before, and you find the target of her attention: the leaking pre-cum. She can't help herself from giving your tip a kiss. "Okay, you can keep swiping," she says. "I'll make you feel so good while you find a tight hole to use."
You don't respond, instead doing just as stated. Left, left, left, left, left. It's looking like one of those evenings. The only plus side is the simple sensation of pleasure as Ningning suckles slowly like a lollipop.
"Do my lips feel good? Is it nice having your pet warm your cock while you find prettier whores?" Truthfully, if there's one thing Ningning is expert at, it's sending shivers through your body with her mouth. She explores every inch of your cock with her tongue, skillfully tracing along the ridges and then sliding back down to your shaft.
Finally, you find a few pretty girls here and there. It's still many more left swipes than right, but most of the women you swipe match immediately. However, you lose interest in most quickly.
"Ah, I, I luhhv, this, cah…" In between Ningning talking with a mouthful, you relish in the sounds of quiet sucking. It distracts you from your ankle-shallow conversations, the dumb pickup lines, the straightforward advances.
You're tempted to grab her hair again and shove her lips down the base until she chokes and gags, but then Tinder would've been a waste of time anyway.
With her lips so diligently latched to your shaft, Ningning starts to drool. You give her one glance, and she immediately starts to lick your shaft clean. "I love cleaning your cock. That's all I'm good for, I know. I love being on my knees for you, having your perfect dick in my mouth, looking up at you and seeing your lust… e-even if it's for other girls." A hint of sadness in her voice. But even as she knows she will never be enough for you, she finds pleasure in submitting to your desires and being on her knees for you. And despite her words, her actions show that she loves it just as much as you do—if not more.
The lazy blowjob continues for some time, your erection carefully nurtured by Ningning's lips. You finally find the match you're looking for, the hottest girl you've ever seen in your life. Karina, 23. Every picture hardens your dick more than anything this cockwarmer toy of a woman can do. Whether it's a casual crop top or an elegant low-cut black dress, her ample cleavage leaves little to the imagination. Karina was the one for tonight. Your conversation with her quickly becomes sexual, which becomes an invite to your place.
Ningning notices your smile. "Did you get a match?" she asks gleefully. "Did you find a new pretty whore to break?" Her lips are more active on your shaft now, gliding up and down with renewed enthusiasm.
"Yep."
"Ahh." She releases your shaft, sticking out her tongue as saliva bridges from her bottom lip to your tip. With puppy dog eyes, she looks up at you and timidly asks, "I-is she prettier than me?"
"Duh." You show her Karina's pictures. "She has bigger tits too."
Ningning looks down. "That's great, Daddy," she says quietly. She perks herself up by kissing your dick. "I'm glad you found a better whore to fuck. When will she be here?"
"In a few hours."
"Okay, Daddy. I'll take care of this cock. I'll keep it nice and warm and wet. You can just relax until she arrives. " She returns to her duty, her lips a pillowy cushion, and she sucks with no complaint.
You idly browse your phone while Ningning keeps her lips sealed around your shaft like it's the most precious thing in the world. When you get up for snacks, she follows you around the house, never letting go of your cock for fear of losing it forever. Returning to the couch, you lie down and watch some shows while Ningning remains on her knees, expertly sucking away.
It's not until you receive the text that Karina is on her way that you finally pull a half-asleep Ningning off of your dick. You quickly gather yourself and prepare for Karina's arrival.
The doorbell rings. You answer the door. Your jaw practically drops to the floor when you open the door. Karina stands before you, clad in a tight pink tube top that shows off the toned shape of her midriff and accentuates the weightiness of her ample breasts. So much skin on display that you hardly know where to look first. A tantalizing hint of vanilla fills the air, adding to the already-charged atmosphere.
"Hello, handsome," she purrs, her voice naturally sultry. She leans in for a kiss before even stepping inside.
The kiss lingers longer than expected, your tongues dancing with a hint of alcohol, perhaps wine. Her hands find their way to your shoulders while yours rest on her waist, reveling in the softness of her smooth skin. Eventually, you release each other from the passionate embrace. "Wow. Hello, Karina. You look absolutely stunning."
"Aw, thank you."
You invite her inside. "Make yourself comfortable."
"I'm glad we matched so quick. Your pics were such a tease." Karina pokes you in the chest.
"And I'm glad you accepted my invite," you reply with a grin.
She giggles. "How could I say no? Straight to the point. And trust me, I could definitely blow off some steam today." Karina scans the living room, then freezes when she notices Ningning sitting there.
You bury your face in your hands; you completely forgot about her.
"Who's that?" Karina asks with an arched eyebrow. "You didn't mention anyone else joining us."
Ningning speaks up: "I'm Dad—"
"She's nobody," you say.
Karina laughs, her gaze lingering on Ningning's figure. "Nobody? Really?" She turns back to you with an impish grin. "Well, she's quite gorgeous. Maybe she could join us and make things even more fun?"
Ningning practically bounces in her seat. "That would be amazing! Can I please join, Daddy?"
Karina runs her hand down your chest, causing you to catch your breath. "So she calls you 'Daddy', huh? That's interesting." Her eyes flicker over Ningning before returning to you with an impish glint. "Well then… what do you say… 'Daddy'?"
Hearing the pet name spoken by Karina in such a seductive tone sends a shiver down your spine, and you release a quick exhale. "Just you and me. All night long."
"Ooh, when you put it like that…" Karina trails off with a smirk. "You better not disappoint." She wraps her arm around your neck and goes in for a deep kiss, your lips locked together as your tongues swirl in each other's mouths. At this moment, it's easy for you to forget about your own girlfriend waiting in the living room, stumbling inside while still entwined with Karina.
"Daddy, p-please, I'll behave," Ningning stutters out from behind you. "I can make you feel good too. I promise, I'll be a good girl."
Karina's lips part from yours with a soft moan, and the sound thrums through your body like a sweet melody. More than anything else, you want to hear the notes of those moans louder and harder and over and over again. Karina catches sight of Ningning watching them from the corner of her eye and chuckles playfully. "Oh, honey, look at that face. She looks like she's about to cry."
"Ignore her."
Karina smirks—a deadly thing. "Ignore her, huh? Sure." She gives you one last lingering kiss before breaking away with a satisfied sigh. "Now show me where your bathroom is so I can freshen up."
You lead the way, but before you can show Karina into the bathroom, you get distracted by the creamy skin of her neck and begin kissing it fervently. Your kisses trail back up to her lips, and once again your tongues dance together. You've kissed Karina more in the past few minutes than you have your girlfriend in a long time.
Karina shudders when you pull away. "Ffuck, this is gonna be an incredible night, huh?" She runs a hand through your hair before giving you a sly smile. "You're such a good kisser. No wonder you have her wrapped around your finger… say, what's her name?"
"Doesn't matter. Just think of her like my house pet."
Karina's teeth sink into her bottom lip. "Damn. Okay," she says, nodding, "get comfy in your bedroom, babe. I'll be ready in just a moment."
You nod and watch as Karina disappears into the bathroom. When you head back to the living room, you find Ningning quietly sobbing to herself.
Holding her chin with a firm and unyielding grip, you force Ningning to look at you, and her eyes widen in fear. "What the fuck?"
"Wh-what?" Ningning sniffles.
Giving her cheek a few light slaps, you scowl at her. "Don't 'what' me, or give me those puppy dog eyes. Why the fuck are you still here?"
"I-I, I'm sorry," Ningning stammers through her sobs. "I don't know... I thought maybe I could join in or take care of you afterwards or..."
Echoes of a crack, you land a harder slap on her cheek, leaving a red mark behind. "I am not fucking you!" you snap. "Do you really think I would waste my time with someone like you when I have a goddess like Karina in my home?" You let out a heavy sigh. "What am I going to do with you?"
Ningning avoids making eye contact as she apologizes once again.
"Fine," you say, standing up. "Follow me to my room."
"Really?"
"Just do as I say."
You sit down on the edge of your bed and point to the floor in front of you, a spot that is all too familiar for Ningning. She obeys without question, kneeling by your crotch as you tug down your pants and underwear to reveal your soft cock. You then yank Ningning's head down towards your lap.
"What do I—" she starts but is cut off by your hiss.
"Are you stupid? What have you been doing for the past few hours?"
Ningning whimpers quietly. "Yes, Daddy." She begins stroking you with her small hand.
"Use your mouth," you command.
"Right, right." She quickly swallows your member, her lips dragging along its flaccid length. As you harden in her mouth, she gags when it hits the back of her throat, but diligently she cleans up all the saliva.
You close your eyes, picturing Karina instead, and after a few minutes, pictures in your mind materialize as the door opens.
"Hey, what do you think—" Karina's voice trails off as she sees Ningning between your legs, servicing your now fully erect cock. "I thought you said she wasn't joining us," she says with a giggle.
"Well, I'm just using her to get you ready for me," you reply. Despite the ministrations of Ningning's lips and tongue, your attention is solely focused on the woman standing in front of you.
Karina steps closer, her eyes fixated on Ningning. "That's such a turn on, seeing her between your legs like that," Karina says, smirking.
Ningning moans happily as she continues to orally service your dick.
"Look at her," Karina says, "such a cute thing."
"No, look at you," you reply. "That top looks perfect on you. Your body's perfect."
"Thank you, babe. I wore this just for tonight." Karina brings her hands to her chest, and you must be drooling when she squeezes. "You like?"
You nod. "You're the hottest girl I've ever seen, Karina."
Ningning lets out a sad whimper around your cock.
Karina sits down on the edge of the bed next to you, watching intently as Ningning works to get your cock even harder with her mouth. "Wow, your cock is perfect. She's almost got you ready for me." She grabs your jaw and pulls you in for a kiss.
You're in a new endless world of bliss, Karina's lips on yours, Ningning's lips on your cock. The sound of her blowjob is noisy, wet, sloppy, but you notice only the moans coming out of Karina's mouth into yours. And even better than that is when Karina presses her full breasts against your arm, giving you visions of what's to come—hours of playing with those breasts greedily between your fingers.
Again, when Karina releases the kiss, she lets out a light moan, and it's the prettiest thing you've heard. "I can't wait to ride that big fucking cock."
"You don't have to wait." With a firm grip on Ningning's hair, you pull her off your cock and toss her onto the floor with a gentle thud. "Get a condom for me," you command.
Ningning lays on the ground, spit-covered lips quivering. She can't make eye contact with you or Karina. "Yes, Daddy."
Karina's legs rub together. "She's such an obedient girl." She brings her legs over and straddles you before she starts making out with you once again.
Though your hands are all over her body, they naturally find their way toward her breasts.
"Yeah, fuck, touch me," Karina says breathily, "feel me up."
"Your tits are incredible, holy shit."
"Just having your pet isn't enough for you?" Karina asks playfully.
You shake your head. "But you're more than enough."
Karina's lips press firmly against yours, her teeth grazing your lower lip in excitement. As you deepen the kiss, you can taste the faint hint of her lip gloss mingled with the subtle tang of your own blood. Her hands begin to explore, trailing down your body until they reach your shaft. Like Ningning before her, she struggles to fully wrap her fingers around your girth. "Fuck, you're so thick," she whispers in awe.
You let out a deep groan as Karina starts to twist and slide her hand up and down your wettened cock. Just then, Ningning's soft voice interrupts your passion-filled moment. "Here's the condom, Daddy," she says softly.
"Put it on with that dirty little mouth of yours."
Karina giggles then brings her lips back on yours, brings her tongue back into your mouth.
"You, you really want me to…"
You give her a stern look.
"Of, of course, Daddy. Whatever you want," she nervously replies before awkwardly scooting towards where you're sitting. You can see that she's struggling to find the space between you and Karina straddling your lap. Eventually, you hear the sound of the condom packet opening and feel Ningning putting it on with her mouth.
Karina's moans get louder, and she runs her hands through your hair.
"It's on, Daddy," Ningning announces timidly as she sits next to you, her hands resting meekly on her thighs.
You and Karina seem to want to kiss forever, Karina especially reveling in the spectator; however, she breaks it first. "Get on your back," she says, her eyes piercing into yours. "I'm riding you and this fucking beautiful dick into the bed."
As you both shuffle around and get comfortable, you push Ningning aside to the corner of the bed. You sink into the pillows while Karina kneels above you, gazing at you with hungry desire.
Ningning's tiny voice is barely audible as she begs, "Can I watch? Please, Daddy?" Her eyes gleam with admiration and delight at the sight of you and Karina together. "I love seeing you feel good. I promise I'll be quiet, I won't interrupt."
There might have been words in your right ear.
Karina laughs as she positions her slender figure over your cock. She takes hold of it and guides it towards her entrance with expert precision. "Are you just ignoring her? That's pretty fucking…" She sinks down into your length and moans loudly, musically. "Hot, oh, fuck, you feel so good." Her pussy clings closely, warm and snug around you.
Feeling dizzy with pleasure, you grab onto her shapely hips as she moves on top of you. She moans in response and adjusts to fit your entire length inside of her, her hand feeling your hardness through her slim waist.
"Wait, fuck, please. Don't move yet." Karina gasps. She begins to gyrate her hips back and forth, causing your head to spin even more. With that body and those tits and that tight hole and that impossibly perfect face contorting with bliss, any man could cum before the first thrust. But somehow, you manage to resist as she begins lifting herself, then fucking into you slowly. "That's, that's it. Nngh."
All the while, your eyes are dead set on her tits, waiting to watch them in action.
As Karina drops herself down onto you again, coating your dick with her juices, she starts to bounce at a steady rhythm. Even though they are confined by fabric, her ample breasts jiggle enticingly with each motion. "Fuck, that's too good," Karina says, moaning, closing her eyes. Then, she opens them as she looks over to where Ningning is squirming. "Aww, look how she's eyeing your cock. When was the last time you fucked her?"
"Hm. Maybe a month ago."
"God, you're so mean to her. I can't imagine depriving someone of this amazing dick." She moans as your length hits a particularly sensitive spot inside her, and then she leans down to grab your face. "I love it." There, she kisses you while her ride starts to intensify. You love the weight of her tits, and the loud slapping sound of her ass bearing down over and over.
"I'll come back later, Daddy." Ningning's voice is filled with dejection before fading away.
As Karina rides you cowgirl style, she sits up straight once again, her toes curling, her breasts bouncing, and her hair flying around her. You reach for her tube top, and she helps pull it up. You didn't think this ride could get better—then, the drop, as her boobs are set free. There's a magical ripple, so plenty for your eyes to feast on. And while the way her tits drop is hypnotizing, the way they bounce without the restraint of fabric is even more so. Karina brings her arms up and you assist her in removing the top completely before flinging it aside, leaving both of you bare and vulnerable to each other's touch.
In this new position, sitting up against the headboard, you lean in to kiss Karina deeply before trailing down to explore every inch of her body. Your lips linger at her long neck, her defined collarbone, and her lithe arms, but always find their way back to her luscious breasts where you suck on each pink nipple with fervor.
"Yeah, yeah, fuck, just like that, I'm so, so sensitive there." Karina moans breathlessly as she grinds against your cock. Her body vibrates with pleasure, and you can feel the clench of her cunt around your cock, tightening and relaxing with every deep thrust.
As you notice her soft mewling turn into breathy gasps, you intensify your actions: while your lips are latched to one of her firm nipples, and one hand is massaging her other breast thoroughly, your free hand goes down to her clit, rubbing in neat circles, causing her to arch her back and cry out in pleasure.
"Fuck, yes! Gonna, gonna cum!" Her words are punctuated by deep groans of pleasure, and you revel in her vocal responses, the sound of her deeper voice more harmonious to your ears than your girlfriend's high-pitched cries.
Her legs tremble as she slows down, giving you the opportunity to take control. You thrust upwards with determination, while simultaneously stimulating every sensitive spot on her body. Karina throws her head back, and she cums on your cock gracefully; you give her no quarter, pounding her through every pulse of her orgasm. Her cunt's tight grip makes you lightheaded, but you continue as a machine, worshipping her tits with your mouth and fingers, playing with her clit, until she's driven to new heights of pleasure.
After many long and languid inhales and exhales, Karina sighs contentedly, her body sated from the intense lovemaking. "I haven't cum that good in so long. Fuck." She pulls you close and kisses you deeply like the gratitude spoken didn't just escape her tongue. "So you haven't fucked her like this in a month? I almost feel bad for her."
"Don't."
"Sure." Karina playfully taps your shoulders, her fingers dancing over your skin. "Well then, I think it's only fair that I reward you for that."
With a soft wet pop, she lifts herself off of your slick member, the condom shining in the dim light of the room. She kneels before you, hunger in her eyes as she looks at your throbbing cock. Her tongue darts out to moisten her lips in anticipation.
"Do you have another condom?" she asks.
"Yeah, it's over by the drawer," you reply, still trying to catch your breath from the intense ride.
She scoffs. "Yet you made her… whatever." Karina's fingers graze your skin as she peels off the condom, the cool sensation a stark contrast to the heat emanating from her body. "Trust me, this much feels better. Plus I want to taste your precum."
She aligns your shaft between her perfect breasts, the soft sensation of them cushioning your cock. "Fuck, Karina. I've never done this before," you say with a gasp.
"Figured as much. Your other plaything's tiny tits could never compare to this, right?" Karina smirks before letting a glob of spit drip from her lips. Your dominant tendencies seem to have rubbed off on her and it turns you on even more.
But what really turns you on is the warmth and plushness of her breasts against your sensitive skin. She takes charge, using her skilled hands to stroke your cock as she holds her breasts together, creating a delicious pressure. Her movements are both gentle and firm as she guides you between her cleavage with precision. Each time your tip pokes out from between her breasts, she gives it a lick or a kiss that sends shivers through your body and elicits groans from deep within your lungs. And every time she does so, she manages to get just enough of the taste that she craves, as she keeps you on a plateau of pleasure and causes you to leak beads of semen.
You can't help but move your hips in rhythm with her while she continues to stroke you with her breasts. She notices and soon lets you take control, allowing you to thrust at your own pace. When you feel yourself getting closer to climax, you slow down and start kneading her breasts—first softly, then harder as your desire and arousal build. You treat her absurd body with the roughness it deserves, pulling her up from her knees by her malleable tits. "Oh, shit," Karina says as you throw her onto the bed, "I love how rough you are."
Eventually, the two of you end up fucking in every corner of the bedroom, finding places where you haven't fucked Ningning or even any other woman. You have Karina arched over the dresser as you enter her from behind, her moans mingling with the sound of rattling wood. You carry Karina, both hands sinking into the flesh of her buttcheeks, giving you both a workout. You two move to the floor, where a torrid round of reverse cowgirl shows off how her ass was as perfect an asset as her tits.
But the most intense and primal position is when you have her pinned against the door, her breasts and face pressed against it, her arm pulled back as you fuck her standing—well, she's only standing because your cock is propping her up, her legs jelly. In this frenzy, Karina is both a willing participant and a willing object, surrendering herself to the pleasure that awaits in each new position and location.
"Yes, yes! Just like that!" Karina cries out as sweat drips down her back; you lean over to taste the saltiness as you nibble on her neck.
And right there, in that position against the door, you make Karina cum again. This time, she squirts violently and her release sprays onto your legs, onto the floor, clear liquid making a mess between her thighs. You hear a whine from the other side of the door. You can't ever be accused of neglecting your girlfriend of her needs.
As if drawn by an uncontrollable magnetism, the two of you find your way back to where you started: you lying on the bed, and Karina riding the life out of you. Her breasts bounce with each thrust and your hands can't resist kneading them roughly. Red marks appear on her otherwise flawless skin, adding to the passionate chaos of the room. This roughness only intensifies Karina's tightness around your cock as she begs for more.
"You love it when I'm rough?" You growl into her ear. "Love feeling this big dick pounding into you?"
"God, yes! Fuck me back!" Karina exclaims.
Suddenly, Ningning opens the door. "Daddy, I just—"
But she's interrupted as Karina shouts and another wave of orgasm wracks through her body, causing her to pull away from you, too sensitive to continue. "Oh... my god," she says, out of breath. "I can't believe you made me cum again." Karina's lips dive into your neck, her wetness dripping down your thighs onto the sheets that you and Ningning share.
"Ningning's whisper breaks through the heavy atmosphere, her voice tinged with concern. "I just wanted to check up on you," she says softly. "You've been at it for a while. It's almost midnight."
Karina disentangles herself from the crook of your neck and moves to lay her head on your chest. Looking at Ningning with a mischievous twinkle in her eye, she lets out a playful laugh. "Yeah, he's been fucking me senseless for a while now. Damn, he's good."
A smirk spreads across your face.
"I...uh..." Ningning struggles to find the right words, unsure whether to express pride or sadness.
"You just wanted to watch, didn't you?" Karina says, running her hand down your bare chest. "You naughty little thing."
You chime in, "Oh, I know her well. She was listening the whole time, pressed against the door with her ear. I could hear her." You'd ask if she made herself cum. You don't care.
A blush creeps onto Ningning's cheeks as she nods shyly.
"Wow, she is soo needy." Karina looks down and notices that your erection is still going strong. "Fuckin' hell, you stud. Haven't cum yet?"
"Nope."
Karina peels herself off of you and lies down next to you on the bed. "Here, I'll lay down so you can pound my pussy until you cum. Does that sound good to you?"
You waste no time positioning your cock between her legs, then you grab her ankles and place them over your shoulders.
"Oh shit, yes..." She draws in a sharp breath as you thrust into her all at once, causing her eyes to roll back in ecstasy. "God, fuck, I'm still so turned on..." Her words become moans as you piston into her, your primal instincts taking over.
You watch as Karina's irresistible breasts jiggle with each and every thrust, her soaked pussy gripping onto you tightly.
"You don't care if she watches do you?" Karina giggles like she's drunk off your cock. "Looks like, ngh, you don't care what she does at all. Hnn…" She looks at Ningning, who is standing by the door, unable to look away. Karina pats the bed to her. "Come here, join us on the bed. You can get a closer look at Daddy's cock going in and out of me. Don't you want to see how I please your Daddy? Watch him fuck my brains out. Watch why he's choosing me over you."
"Daddy, wait—"
Karina moans. "Hurry up or get out, I don't think your Daddy gives a fuck."
Ningning only hesitates one more second before dragging her feet over to the bed.
"Good girl," Karina praises as Ningning lies down next to her obediently.
"Can you touch me, Daddy? Please? Or will you just hold my hand while you—"
You swat her hand away when she reaches out towards you, causing Karina to erupt in laughter. "Looks like she'll just have to watch."
You kiss Karina like you love her, like she's your girlfriend, or your wife, or your long-lost love you haven't seen in years. It must be breaking Ningning's heart, but you can't see or care, with Karina's face the only face in your mind. The only reminders of Ningning's presence are the occasional whimpers and moans that escape from her lips.
"Come on, babe," Karina urges with a fierce kiss, "don't hold back. I want to make you cum in front of her." She places her hand on your chest, slowing your movements. "Flip me over and rail me, babe. Give me everything she wants."
You swiftly pull out and bring Karina to her hands and knees.
"Ooh, that's it." She moans loudly as you push her head down and thrust into her from behind. Her back arches, showcasing the perfect curve of her ass.
As your movements become more forceful, Karina's moans echo through the room and she clings to the sheets with desperation. You finally make eye contact with Ningning, her hands buried in her shorts and her breath ragged as she watches you and Karina together.
"God, you're so rough. Yes!" Karina shouts.
Meanwhile, Ningning's gasps and moans grow louder as she tries to pleasure herself. Despite her best efforts, it seems that nothing can satisfy her.
"Do it," Karina says, looking back, "cum for me!"
All of the sensations come crashing together—the movement of Karina's body, the tightness of her pussy around you, and the sight of your girlfriend watching as you fuck another woman. With one final rough slam, you burst inside Karina, gripping her ass cheeks and calling out her name. Every last drop is drained from your balls as you fill the condom to the seams.
After the intense pulsations subside, you loosen your grip on Karina's ass and she collapses onto the bed, breathing heavily and moaning in satisfaction. "Holy fuck. That was amazing," she says between giggles. She notices that Ningning has not stopped pleasuring herself this entire time, her fingers slick with wetness as they slide in and out of her swollen folds. "Looks like I'm not the only one who thought so. You enjoy seeing your man blow his load in another woman so much, don't you? Are you pretending to be me right now?"
You are surprised by Karina's bold words, but not surprised at Ningning's increased moans and trembling body as she reaches her desperate climax because of those words, likely making a mess of her underwear.
"That's so hot," Karina purrs with a wiggle of her hips. Your half-hard cock remains inside of her as she speaks. "Give me a few more thrusts before you pull out."
You oblige, gazing up at the ceiling while Karina wrings every last bit of pleasure from you into the condom. She disentangles herself from you and leans in for a kiss.
"Mmh, that was fun. We should do that again sometime. Oh, and can I use your shower?" Karina asks.
"Of course," you reply. "Actually, do you mind if I join you in a sec?"
She nods, smiling. "Sure, babe. That sounds nice." Karina heads to the shower with a flick of her hair over her shoulder, drawing the attention of both you and Ningning to her toned buttocks.
Ningning lies on the bed, spent on her own self-pleasure. "Did, mmnh, did you have fun, Daddy? Was she good for you?"
Stretching, you remove the condom from your now-flaccid member. "The best."
"Nnh." Her breathing quickens. "That looks good."
You offer her the condom, almost filled to the brim with your load.
"F-for me? Really, Daddy? I can have your yummy cum?"
"Sure."
She's excited for the first time in a while. "Yes! Thank you! Oh, thank you, thank you, Daddy!" Ningning takes the cum-filled condom and brings it to her lips, drinking the cum out like a woman parched in the desert. Her lips make wet, sucking noises as she swallows up the thick, sticky globs of semen. "Oh god, Daddy, you taste so good."
Each gulp of cum elicits a moan from Ningning as she savors it. You can tell that she's still sore from her last orgasm, and despite that, her hand snakes its way back down to fingerfuck herself again. She keeps the condom in her mouth for a while, making sure she doesn't miss out on a drop, turning it inside out to be sure—even when it's empty, she gets herself off again with her lips wrapped around the used protection.
As Ningning prepares to bring herself to another climax using the condom around her fingers as a substitute for your cock, you excuse yourself and head to the shower. What a doormat does with her time does not concern you. You have a shower to hop into and an actual woman to enjoy it with.
✦✧✦✧✦✧
AFF, AO3
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thebisexualdogdad · 7 months
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One Piece preferences - how they tell you that they like you (GN!reader)
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Luffy -
● Luffy is not one for shame or embarrassment yet he's always nervous around you
● he always awkwardly rambles when you're near him
● and he even asks if you want the last bite of food before he takes it for himself like usual
● he goes to Usopp first for advice which Sanji and Zoro overhears and tells him to ignore Usopp's terrible advice and listen to them instead
● which then Nami overhears and calls them all idiots and gives Luffy actually good advice
● Luffy finally tells you he likes you but rambles again while talking so you kiss him to shut him up
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Nami -
● she doesn't
● you have to make the first move
● even when you do tell her you like her she makes you work for it
● "I'll go out with you when we find the one piece"
● "I'm holding you to that"
● a couple months later when she thinks you've proven yourself she sets two plates of food in front of you guys
● "what's this?"
● "we're on a date"
● "I thought you weren't going to go out with me until we found the one piece?"
● "I changed my mind now start eating before I change it again"
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Sanji -
● He is very confident and makes it known he likes you the moment you meet
● He flirts with you the entire time you're eating in the baratie
● "Anything else I can get for you cutie? I've been told I make a mighty fine dessert, that is unless you want me for dessert instead"
● "just the check please sweet talker"
● he brings the check to you with his number written on the bottom
● "just so you know I do accept tips in the form of a date"
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Zoro -
● no matter how much Luffy points out to Zoro that he likes you he refuses to acknowledge his feelings for you
● It's not until you get critically hurt in a fight that he finally admits to himself that he likes you
● you've been unconscious for days and he never leaves your side while you're recovering
● you wake up to him sitting at your bedside and you've never seen him look this worried
● "thank God I thought I lost you"
● "you saying you care about me Zoro?"
● "yes Y/N, I care you about you a lot so please don't do that to me again"
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Usopp -
● always brings you flowers and little trinkets
● "I saw this in town and thought you'd like it"
● names one of his slingshot moves after you
● all around gentleman trying to woo you
● Zoro "you know he likes you right"
● "of course I know, I just think it's sweet how hard he tries"
● the first time you kiss him on the cheek to thank him for your gift he blushes so hard and nearly faints
● he goes around proudly telling everyone that you kissed him and that he's your boyfriend now
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Buggy -
● puts on an entire show for you
● pulling out all of his best jokes and stunts
● making the crowd cheer extra hard
● he does a huge speech throughout the entire performance about how you two could conquer the world together
● and how he needs you by his side to be the best pirate he can be
● for his final trick he uses his powers to send his hand up to you with a bouquet of flowers
● "what do you say Y/N? Want to be my co captain?"
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Shanks -
● whenever he's in town he tells you stories of his adventures over drinks at the bar
● and always gives you part of his treasure that his crew found on their recent voyage as gifts
● "You're really giving me this? Do you know how valuable it is?"
● "There's no treasure in this world that I value more than you"
● "well Shanks it sounds like you're trying to tell me that you like me"
● "I would travel the entire ocean for you my dear Y/N and I would love if you joined me on my next adventure"
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Mihawk-
● Literally kills a guy for you
● you're complaining about some jerk you ran into at the bar
● he mumbles "he shall pay for disrespecting my Y/N" and excuses himself
● he returns a little bit later with the guys decapitated head in his hand and blood on his shirt
● "you said you had a problem with this guy so I killed him in your honor"
● "Oh thats… sweet"
● "I knew you'd be impressed. So, dinner?"
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Cabaji -
● always tries to look cool in front of you
● doing tricks on his unicycle
● like riding it through a flaming hoop
● or having you stand on his shoulders while he cycles around the ring
● or putting someone on the spinning wheel and throwing knives at them landing impossibly close to their skin
● "that was cool wasn't it Y/N"
● "sure was Cabaji"
● "So what do you say you and I get drinks together sometime?"
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