#but hey! they where married and marriage is holy. bad bad taste.

[justthehiddleswrites]

Accidently Married | Tom Hiddleston x OFC | Chapter 3 | And Miss Out on Mum Meeting the Girl You Married Without Telling Her? Not a Chance

A/N:  Tom makes certain comments about an ex (who is unnamed).  It is a fictional girlfriend, take from it what you will.  Keep your hate to yourself.  

SERIES MASTERLIST HERE

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x OFC (Molly Bishop)

Summary: Tom is stuck in a news cycle from hell; Molly is stuck in the dead end job of bartending with a pile of student and credit debt.  Tom has an idea to solve all their problems.  Get married, get the paparazzi off his back, divorce after a year and Tom pays off Molly’s debts.  Tom has everything figured out, that is until he sees Molly as more than a just a friend and so does someone else.  In this vying for affections who will win, the handsome Brit or the boy from Boston?

This Chapter: Molly finally gets to meet Luke and they try to convince him that this marriage is not some elaborate plot to manipulate the press.  And Tom makes a critical error.  We learn more about Molly and her past. 

Warnings: fake marriage, smut (vaginal sex), mentions of:  child abuse/neglect, foster care, substance abuse, cheating.

TAGLIST IS OPEN! PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED!  THANK YOU FOR READING!

–

Tom regretted drinking two cups of espresso the next morning before heading to Luke’s. He definitely regretted not eating anything more than a piece of toast with butter and marmalade. Even after Molly offered to make something for him.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to make you eggs, an omelette? I could probably manage some French toast before we have to leave.” Molly sipped her tea as she ate some oatmeal. 

French toast sounded divine at the moment as Tom’s stomach did somersaults. Molly’s knee bounced in the passenger seat on the way to the Prosper office. 

“Do you think Luke will yell at me?” Molly asked. “I don’t do well when people yell at me.”

Tom’s head snapped over at her. She sighed. 

“Foster parents are not always kind. Bio parents can be worse.” She wrung her hands. 

He reached over and squeezed Molly’s knee. “I promise I won’t let him yell at you.” 

“Thank you, Tom. Are we telling him the truth?” 

“Only if necessary.” 

“Then what are we telling him?” 

“That I went to Vegas, and I fell madly in love with you and on a whim we got married.”

“A fanciful tale.” Her head dropped to her chest. 

“Oh, I don’t know, darling. You sell yourself short. You’re bright, funny, caring and dare I even say easy on the eyes.”

Molly blushed. “Thank you. You are not so bad yourself. Although I seriously question your dietary habits.”

Tom chuckled. “I’ll work on it. And I hope after all of this we will be good friends.”

“Me too.” 

“Looks like we are here.” Tom parked the car on the street. He hustled around to open Molly’s door and help her out. “Time to face the firing squad.” Her eyes widened. “Kidding!”

By the time the meeting was done, Molly wished it had been a firing squad. 

-

“Luke, this is Molly Bishop, now Hiddleston.” Tom wrapped his arm around her waist. “My wife.” 

“My condolences.” Luke shook Molly’s hand. 

Molly’s brow furrowed. “I…” 

“Of all the stupid shit you have ever fucking done—” Luke started in on Tom. 

“Luke, watch your tone.” Tom jabbed a finger in his publicist’s face. “You are not to yell at Molly.” His bright blue eyes flashed and his fists clenched. 

Luke took a step back. “Right. Take a seat and let’s see if we can straighten this out.” 

They sat next to each other. Molly reached for Tom’s hand and he took it. Luke sat down behind his desk, staring at the two of them. Luke pinched his nose hard and took several deep breaths. Before speaking, he poured a glass of water and dropped two Alka-Seltzer into the water. Molly stared at the whole thing. Tom leaned over. 

“For later. Luke says I give him indigestion.” he whispered.

“And headaches.” Luke added.

“I can understand the feeling.” Molly muttered under her breath.

“I beg your pardon!” Tom twisted around to face Molly. “Et tu. Is this about the vegetables?”

“It wouldn’t kill you to eat one every so often. You’re not 21 anymore.”

Tom gritted his teeth. “I said I would work on it. Can we not talk about this right now?”

“You’re the one who brought it up. I was just making a comment.”

Luke’s head bounced back and forth like watching a tennis match, a smirk growing on his face.

“You two are good. Really good. Damn Tom, the lengths you will go to… hiring an actress to pretend to be your wife, that’s—”

“We got married, Luke. In Vegas.” Tom retorted. “Darling, do you have the copy of the license?”

Molly grumbled. “I do, but we are not done with the whole diet thing.” She rummaged through her purse and produced the folded piece of paper. “Show him the photos.” She whispered to Tom as she handed over the license. 

“I’m not showing him the photos unless I have to.” Tom hissed.

“Show me the photos, Tom.” Luke beckoned him. 

Tom side eyed Molly and handed over the license and his phone. Luke glanced at the license and then scrolled through the photos, eyes growing wider. He zoomed in on one and squinted. 

“Is that a spider ring?” he asked.

“His name is Clive.” Tom deadpanned.

Luke cuts his eyes at Tom. “Of course, you named it. You wouldn’t happen to have the ring, would you?” He turned to Molly.

She let loose a breath, exasperated. “Honestly,” she jabbed a finger at Tom and then Luke. “I was not expecting the Spanish Inquisition.” She dug through her purse again. “You are both lucky that I planned ahead.” Molly slammed the two Tiffany boxes on the desk. “There, here is your pound of flesh.”

Luke opened the boxes and found the spider ring and plastic gem ring. His eyes went to their proper rings and then ran his hands through his hair. 

“Holy shit, you got married.”

Tom rolled his eyes. “I have been saying that for the last 24 hours, mate. Can we move on?”

Molly giggled. 

“I… I… apologize. Sorry.” He sputtered, he turned to Molly. “I’m sorry, Molly. You have no idea the things this man has put me through.”

“I can imagine.”

“Hey! I—”

“Not talking to you, Tom.” Luke held up a hand. “I am talking to your bride. Clearly the reasonable one. Although she did marry you, so…”

Tom slumped in the chair. “Two of you. I thought you were on my side.”

Molly reached over and rubbed his arm. “I’m always on your side, honey.”

Tom smiled and leaned over and kissed her cheek. “Thank you, darling. Do you believe me now, Luke?”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but yes, I do.” He slammed his hand on his desk, rattling his water. “Now let’s talk about these.” He held up several newspapers.

Forty-five minutes later, they finally ended the meeting. Tom was starving. Luke grilled Molly about her background. By the end of everything, Tom now knew that Molly spent the ages of 12-18 in foster care, went to college where she worked two jobs to make ends meet, and has no contact with her younger brother who was adopted. Tom felt a twinge of guilt listening to Molly tell her life story. He never really bothered to ask. 

Luke led them to the door but stopped short. 

“How did your mom take the news, Tom?” Luke asked. Tom froze and paled. Luke leaned in. “You did tell her?”

Molly glanced between them. “I thought you called her when we got home.”

Tom ran his hands through his hair. Little bits stuck up. His mouth fell open and his eyes widened. “I forgot. I was distracted by someone yelling at me.”

“You haven’t told your mother about us?!” Molly screeched. 

Luke chuckled, which soon turned into a full belly laugh. “You are so dead, Tom.” Molly gasped. “You will be fine, Molly, but pray for your husband. There is nothing scarier in this world than Diana Hiddleston mad at her only son.” 

Molly gulped. “I will keep that in mind. Now if you excuse us, we have some calls to make.” 

Tom nodded, still reeling from the fact he didn’t tell his mum, or his sisters, that he got married. Fake or not. He hoped she hadn’t seen any of the photos yet. But knowing Emma and Sarah, they sent her the links. “Right, calls.” 

Molly pushed Tom out of the office and towards the elevator. She waved bye to Luke as the doors closed. 

“That went better than expected.” Molly shifted her weight from side to side.

“Yeah, yeah!” Tom blinked and came back to reality. “You were brilliant. What made you think to bring the rings?”

“People have the tendency to believe you when you can present physical evidence. That, coupled with the photos, lends credibility. I mean, who gets married with a plastic spider ring?” She laughed and Tom joined in. 

“Genius, really. Luke would have never—” Tom’s stomach rumbled. He blushed. “You were right I should have eaten something.” 

Molly stretched to reach his cheek and gave him a quick peck. “You will soon learn I am always right. Let’s find you some food and then you call your mother.”

“Fine.”

-

They found a place for Tom to grab a sandwich since it was too late for breakfast and not quite time for lunch. Molly stared on as Tom inhaled the sandwich, a bag of potato chips, and a bottle of water. 

“Did you taste any of that?”

Tom glanced up at her as he poked the last bit of the sandwich into his mouth. “Yes.” 

She shoved a napkin towards him. “You have crumbs on your face.��

Tom swallowed. “Thanks.”

“Call your mother.” 

Tom slouched. “Can’t we wait until we get home?” 

“No.” She stared him down. “If you don’t do it, I will.” Molly lunged for his phone, but Tom was too fast and grabbed it first.

“I’m calling her right now.” He held the phone to his ear, praying it would go to voicemail.

“Tom!” Diana’s warm voice filled his ear. “How are you doing, love?”

“Doing good. A bit of jet lag, I was in Vegas over the weekend.”

Diana hummed. “And how is Luke?”

Tom chuckled. “Angry at me as always.”

“If you would just listen to him…”

“I like her.” Molly popped in.

Tom waved her off. 

“I know, Mother. Listen,” He fidgeted with his hair again. Molly realized it was an absolute tell when Tom was nervous. “I was wondering if you might like to grab some lunch this week. We can catch up. So much as happened since I last saw you.”

“I would be delighted, Thomas. Why don’t you come up to the house? Does Wednesday work for you?”

Tom mouthed “Wednesday” to Molly, who shrugged her shoulders.

“Like I’m doing anything? You and Luke are the only people I know here.”

“Right.” He returned to the call. “Wednesday is perfect, mum. Noon?”

“It’s a date. Don’t forget to bring that wife of yours, Thomas. I am quite keen on meeting her.”

All the blood drained from Tom’s face. “I… I… can explain—”

“I’m sure you can. On Wednesday. I have to go, love. It was good to chat.” The line went dead.

Tom stared at the phone. “I’m so dead. She knows about you.”

“Oh, she knows. You are her son. And didn’t you mention having sisters? They totally ratted you out.” Molly smiled at him.

-

Tom had some appointments on Tuesday which kept his mind occupied from seeing his mother the next day. Molly took some time to figure out how to change her name, get a new passport, and figure out how to maneuver life in a foreign country. Tom took her to get a phone that would work. 

“Here you go.” 

The first thing she did was snap Tom to add to his contact list. He was laughing in the photo.

“Don’t use that one!” Tom pouted. “Let me pose.”

“But I like this one. It captures your essence.”

But now it is Wednesday morning. Tom woke up early to go for a run. Molly was already up, sipping tea in the living room.

“Can I join you?” she asked upon seeing Tom in workout gear.

“I run about three miles…”

“Sounds perfect. Give me two minutes.” She bounded off the couch towards her bedroom. 

Tom fiddled with his headphones until Molly emerged in sneakers and workout leggings. Over the ear headphones around her neck. 

“Ready to go.” She tucked her phone into a pocket. “I will just follow you.”

“Let me know if you need to turn around.” Tom winked as they set off.

They returned home about thirty minutes later.

“Sure you don’t want to go another mile?” Molly bounced on her feet. 

Tom breathed hard. “Maybe another time. I’m a bit out of shape. You run?”

Molly nodded. “Most days I run. If I get up in time. I miss the gym.”

Tom chuckled. “We need to get you a membership. And I need to ..get into shape myself. Can’t let my wife show me up in paparazzi photos.” he half-joked. 

Molly coughed. “They take photos of you running?!”

“Sometimes.” He took a sip of water, his heart rate going back to normal. “Definitely now with you in the picture.”

Molly raised an eyebrow, stepping towards him, grabbing the water bottle from him. “Think they are out there right now?” 

Tom glanced around and sure enough, he spied a few cameras with zoom lenses down the street.

“Yup.” 

Molly wrapped her arms around his neck. “Maybe we should give them a more scandalous photo.” 

Tom leaned down. “What did you have in mind?” he smirked as Molly tugged his head towards her and her lips crashed against his. She sighed and Tom slipped his tongue into her mouth. Molly did the same. As he fisted the back of her shirt, Tom noticed one of Molly’s arms moving. 

“AH!!” He screamed as the cold water poured down on his head and Molly jumped back laughing.

“I thought you needed a little cooling off.” she laughed.

Tom lunged for her with a smile on his face, droplets of water falling from his hair. 

“You’ll pay for that!” Tom gave chase, while Molly dashed into the house, screaming and laughing.

She made it as far as the living room before Tom’s long legs caught up with her.

“Got you!” 

Tom grabbed her by the waist to pull her towards him, but their feet slipped and they ended up on the couch. Tom on top of her. Their eyes locked for a moment before Tom scrambled to his feet. 

“I’ll get you all wet.” he commented nervously. “I should…”

“Right.” Molly nodded, sitting up. “I’ll make some breakfast. Eggs and toast. I don’t know what your mother is planning on for lunch.”

“A light breakfast would be best.” Tom shook out his now soaked t-shirt and Molly caught a glimpse of his abs. 

“No problem.” She smiled. 

They both headed off in different directions. When it was time to leave for Diana’s house, Molly fidgeted with her casual dress and knee-high boots.

“Do I look okay?” she glanced at Tom in jeans and a sweater. “I’m overdressed. Look at you, casually gorgeous. I’m going to change. I have nothing to wear. Nothing to wear…” Molly’s face broke down.

Tom wrapped his arms around her. “What’s going on, darling?” She buried her head in his sweater. “You didn’t freak out like this when we went to go see Luke.”

“That was business. This is your mother. I don’t do well with families, particularly mothers. What if she hates me?” 

He kissed the top of her head. “First off, you look beautiful. Second, if my mum hates anyone between the two of us, it will be me. She is going to love you, darling.” 

Molly sniffled and dabbed her eyes with the back of her fingers. “Really?”

“I am 100% certain. Now let’s get on the road.”

Molly smiled and nodded. The fear wasn’t gone, but she felt better knowing Tom would be there with her. That fear came rushing back as they stood on the front step of the house of Diana Hiddleston. Tom reached for Molly first. 

“I’ve got you, darling.” He leaned over and kissed her cheek right as the door opened.

“Gross, Tom. And at Mum’s house no less.” Emma gagged.

Tom’s cheeks turned a bright pink. “Emma! I didn’t expect you to be here.” He leaned in and kissed her cheek. “What a surprise.”

Emma rolled her eyes. “And miss out on Mum meeting the girl you married without telling her, not a chance.” Emma turned to Molly. “Emma.”

“Molly B… Hiddleston.” She smiled and extended her hand. Emma shook it with a firm grip.

“The papers didn’t give a name. She seems nice, Tom. Clearly she doesn’t know the real you.”

Tom continued to blush. “Thanks for the vote of confidence, Em. Can we come in or are we eating on the front step?”

Emma held the door open wide and stepped aside. They stepped inside. “Mum’s in the kitchen.”

As if on cue, Diana’s voice rang out. “Is that them, Emma?” 

“They just got here!” she yelled before turning back to them. “She’s been cooking all day.” 

Molly gulped. Tom squeezed her hand. An older woman with grey white shoulder length hair. She came up to Tom's shoulder, if that.

“You were supposed to tell me when they got here.” she scolded Emma.

“I was on my way to tell you.” 

“Go take the food out of the oven.”

“But…” Emma protested.

“Go, child. You’ll have the entire meal to listen to me yell. Right now I need a word with your brother.”

Emma pursed her lips as she walked into the kitchen but made a slashing throat gesture, mouthing the words “you’re so dead” at Tom before disappearing. 

Diana wiped her hands on her apron. “Now where is my new daughter-in-law?” 

Molly raised her hand. “That would be me. Molly, ma’am.”

Diana held open her arms and wrapped them around Molly tight. She realized where Tom got his hugging skills. 

“You are just a doll. Is my son treating you well?”

Molly nodded. “Yes, ma’am.” 

“So polite and much shorter than the last one. Right at eye height for me.”

“Mother…”

Diana waved Tom off. “And please call me Diana or Mum or Mom. I promise I don’t bite.”

Molly giggled. “Yes, ma.. Diana.”

Diana hugged her again before spinning to face her son.

“Tom.” She crossed her arms.

“Mum.” Tom grew very interested in the rug on the floor. 

“Do I get a hug?” Diana smiled. 

Tom looked up and grinned. “Always.” The two of them hugged tight, Tom bending at the knees to wrap his arms around her. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too.” Diana pulled back.

Her hand reached out and smacked Tom right upside the head. Tom cowered, covering his head.

“Mum!” he howled.

“You got married and didn’t tell me!”

“I was getting around to it. Luke distracted me!” Tom explained. 

Diana smacked his arm. “Do not blame Luke for this, he is a saint! You were keeping this lovely girl away from me.”

Molly beamed as Diana smacked Tom one more time. 

“You think I’m lovely?” she asked.

Diana turned to Molly. “Oh dear. You are perfectly charming. Unlike my wretch of a son.” Another smack to the chest.

“Really, Mum? In front of our guest?” Tom flinched.

“Molly is family.” Diana stopped, took a deep breath, and smiled. “Now with that sorted, let’s go eat.” She spun on her heel and headed back to the kitchen. 

Tom hooked his arm with Molly’s. “My mother.”

“I like her.” 

-

Emma and Diane pumped the two of them for every detail about this abbreviated courtship.

“A chapel in Vegas, Tom? Romantic.” Emma sneered.

“I thought so.” Molly added.

“Thank you, darling.” Tom leaned against her. 

“Awww.” Emma commented.

Diana stood to clear the dishes as Emma examined Molly’s ring.

“Let me help you.” Tom rose to help, taking the rest of the dishes. Diana grabbed his arm when they reached the sink.

“I really like her, Thomas. You did well.”

“Thank you. She is something.” Tom smiled.

“Much better than the last girl you brought home.”

Tom frowned. “Mum, I…”

Diana held up her hand. “I know. Don’t mention her. But I will say this. There was something about her that didn’t sit right with me.” 

“You never said anything to me.”

Diana smiled softly and cupped Tom’s cheek. “You seemed so in love and happy. And all I have ever wanted for all my kids is to be happy.”

“Oh.”

“But none of that matters. You have Molly now and the two of you have years of happiness ahead.” 

Tom glanced over to where Emma and Molly hunched over Emma’s phone. Tom’s heart twinged with guilt. 

“Right. Of course.” He smiled.

Molly burst out in laughter.

“What is so funny over there?” Tom called out, heading over to the table.

Emma giggled. “Just some old pictures.”

Tom’s face fell. “No, you didn’t…”

Molly giggled. “You were so skinny and that hair!” 

The two girls fell into a fit of giggles as Diane placed a hand on Tom’s shoulder.

“Yes, I like her very much.” she whispered. “Why don’t we pull out the old picture albums?”

Tom groaned. 

#tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston fanfiction #tom hiddleston fanfic #tom hiddleston x ofc #tom hiddleston imagine #tom hiddleston fluff #tom hiddleston smut #tom hiddleston angst #accidently married

[h3art-n-s0ul]

Apologies

Akaashi x Reader

(Please feel free to reblog and comment)

Word Count: 2k

Genre: Fluff

Summary: Keiji is planning on proposing to you, but nothing seems to go to plan.

Content Warnings: Language, minor comedic sexual references

___________________________

Akaashi had been planning to propose to you for two months. Two very long months. Well he knew he was going to marry you about five minutes after meeting you. But technically, he bought the ring two months ago. He had it all perfectly planned out. In two days, he would propose in the place you two first met. He knew it was cliche but, the place you two met was slightly unconventional.

It was the parking lot in front of the local university library. He had actually gone in to talk to the administration and see if he could rent out the parking lot from them. The request was so odd, it took them a bit of time to respond. It actually worked out perfectly since they were closed this Saturday, so they agreed to let him rent it out for his intended purpose. The staff were quite confused as to why he would want that old parking lot until Akaashi explained. They hadn’t gotten enough funding to redo it in years so there were tens of potholes, cracks, and broken pieces of blacktop. The colored lines were fading so most people just guessed where to park. But that very parking lot was responsible for your meeting.

It was early spring, and there was still a chill in the air. Akaashi was running late to one of his classes and was weaving between vehicles in the parking lot to get to his car. You were busy walking towards the library with a book up to your nose. Multitasking you know? Akaashi didn't see you around one of the cars and obviously neither did you, too invested in your book. Like fate brought you together, you crashed into one another. You completely stumbled backwards, less than gracefully, sending your book flying. And fly it did, right into a muddy puddle.

“I am so sorry!” Akaashi bent down to help you up before retrieving your ruined book. He brushed off the cover and noticed the title.

“Shit, sorry I wasn’t looking where I was going.” You apologized and he handed you the novel.

“No, no, it was totally my fault. I was in a rush. I’m so sorry about your book. I have to say you have great taste in fiction though.” Akaashi laughed lightly.

“Oh um thank you. Again, I am so sorry for running into you, well, I mean I'm not, but, uh-that was totally my bad. I’m sure you need to get going…” You turned to leave before he grabbed your wrist while he reached into his bag to pull out his wallet.

“Please allow me to pay for it.”

“No, really it’s fine. You don’t have to do that. Totally my fault. I'm sorry.”

Akaashi opened his wallet and groaned, “Ugh god I am so sorry I only have my card. Here.” He scribbled on the back of a receipt and handed it to you. “This is my phone number, text me your venmo and I’ll pay you back. I’m really in a rush right now, sorry.”

“No it’s fine really! Um what’s your name if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Akaashi.”

“Great. I’m Y/n. Wish we could have met under better circumstances, but I’m glad we’ve met. I’d like to chat about your taste in books sometime.”

“Me too.”

Eventually, you texted him, but it had nothing to do with venmo. Instead you invited him out to coffee and you two just kept meeting. Akaashi felt bad each time that he hadn’t paid you back, but you reassured him it was fine and he could bring money next time. In actuality you were using it as an excuse for you two to keep meeting up. Until finally, neither of you needed an excuse to see each other. One thing led to another and two years passed. Now you and Akaashi were living together in perfect harmony.

Akaashi had contacted Bokuto before he bought the ring. Who better to consult about this than his best friend?

“OH MY GOD YOU’RE GOING TO PROPOSE?!” Bokuto yelled into his receiver. “About fucking time. Okay hear me out, spell the question out in fireworks. She can’t say no!”

Akaashi chuckled. “Well I was thinking of going for something a little more private and personal. And I don’t even know if she’ll say yes yet.”

“Keiji are you kidding? There’s no way she can say no. You two are so perfect for each other!” Bokuto was so excited for his best friend.

“I don’t know about that first part. I just know she’s it for me. I’m just glad I know her pinterest username. I think I’m going to start there.”

“I admire your resourcefulness. Honestly, I bet you could pop the question in a garbage yard and she’d still say yes.”

Then it hit Akaashi and he knew exactly where he wanted to propose to you.

“Hey thanks for the ideas Ko. I have to go right now.”

“But you just called?”

“I have to run to the bookstore right away.”

It was perfect. He would set the open ring box on top of the book when he got down on one knee, finally paying off his debt to you.

All he had to do now was lie in wait. Just two days. He could do it. It took everything in him not to tell you already. He tucked the book into the back corner of his t-shirt drawer along with the ring. It forced a smile on his face every time he got ready in the morning.

“Hey Darling, I’m going to head out real quick to pick up the new air conditioner, okay?” Keiji yelled from the back bedroom.

“Yeah okay sounds good. Oh wait- can you get take-out? I’m kinda too lazy to make dinner.” You laughed and he walked into the living room where you were sitting. A book sat in your lap. Some things just never change.

“Yeah of course. Panda express?” Keiji smiled at you.

“Oh god I’m so in love with you.” You replied. Akaashi scoffed and leaned down to press a quick kiss to your lips.

“Okay I’ll be right back!” You heard the clatter of his keys and the shut of the door. Your eyes cast downward back to your page. About five minutes later you wiped a bead of sweat from your forehead. ‘God it is way too hot.’ You stood up and walked to your shared bedroom to change into something lighter. Unfortunately, your favorite t-shirt resided in Akaashi’s drawer. You pulled the drawer open in search of the thin, white shirt. You fingered through the various fabrics until they touched something hard and smooth.

“What- is..” You pulled the novel out and saw the title. ‘Why would ‘Kashi hide this…Fuck what if this was like a gift for me or something?’ You thought. You already felt bad before your eyes scanned back inside the drawer. A little black velvet box sat in the back right corner. Holy shit. Your hands were shaking as you slowly grabbed the object and opened it. A bright diamond ring stared back at you. Holy shit.

“H-he was going to propose?” Shock filled your body and you backpedaled to sit on the king bed. You couldn’t think.

‘Maybe the ring wasn’t his? What? No that’s stupid. Well maybe it’s not an engagement ring?’ Your eyes glanced back down at the ring.

‘Nope. Definitely an engagement ring. When was he planning on proposing? Sure you guys had talked about getting married before but- he was planning it this whole time? How long?’ And then the worst thought filled your mind. ‘Holy shit. What if he’s angry at me? I totally ruined the surprise! Maybe I can put it back and pretend I didn’t find it? No, I don’t wanna lie to him! Oh my god what if I start off our marriage with lies! He’d never forgive me! And then we’d have to get divorced in our 40’s! Oh god!’ Before you could pull yourself out of your thoughts, the front door opened.

“Hey love, I forgot my phone!” Panic settled in your body and your hands scrambled to shove the ring underneath the blankets.

“Darling?” Akaashi walked into the bedroom and saw you awkwardly sitting on the bed. He chuckled a bit, “Love? What’s going on? Why are you sitting like that?”

“Oh- me? What do you mean? I was just relaxing.” You tried to block his view from the book by sitting upright.

“Did you finish your book? Why are you all sweaty?” Keiji noticed the anxious aura around you.

“Um well you see-” Come on Y/n. Think of an excuse! Come on!

Keiji raised his eyebrow suspiciously and started to lean over to see behind you.

“MASTURBATING!” You squeaked out.

“What?” Keiji started laughing.

“ I was- um masturbating. That’s why I’m all sweaty. Sorry. God this is so embarrassing you should just leave!” You nervously winced. ‘I’m so fucking stupid.’ You internally facepalmed.

“Um okay. I’m sorry I uh I’ll just get going. Sorry babe.” He flushed red and awkwardly started to shuffle out of the room before seeing the open top drawer. Oh fuck. He immediately turned around to you and sighed. He hung his head low and asked, “You found it didn’t you?”

“KEIJI I SWEAR TO GOD I AM SO SORRY I DIDN’T MEAN TO IT WAS JUST SO HOT AND YOU KNOW HOW I LIKE WEARING YOUR T-SHIRTS-” He collapsed into a heap on the floor and put his face in his hands.

“PLEASE ‘KASHI NO I AM SO SO SORRY PLEASE DON’T BE UPSET WITH ME YOUR SHIRTS JUST SMELL SO GOOD AND YOU KNOW WE DON’T HAVE AC! UM WE CAN PRETEND IT NEVER HAPPENED I MEAN I DIDN’T REALLY EVEN SEE MUCH-” You continued rambling before he got up and grabbed your hands. When you looked at his face he had tears in his eyes.

“OH GOD KEI I AM SO-”

“Why would I be upset with you, love?” Keiji smiled bitterly.

“Y-you’re not mad?”

“No, of course not. I’m mad at myself. I should’ve remembered you liked wearing my t-shirts.” He tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. “I guess this just isn’t really how I pictured this going. I’m so sorry.”

“No, Keiji, I'm so sorry. This is all my fault.” You profusely apologized.

“Wow this really brings me back.” He smirked thinking of your first meeting. “So, I take it as a no?”

“What? WHAT? NO NO NO!” You frantically waved your hands in front of yourself. “IT’S A YES! YES! Keiji, I am so in love with you baby!” You grasped his cheeks in your hands and sniffled.

“Really?” His eyes widened.

“‘Kashi are you kidding? Of course I want to spend the rest of my life with you! There’s no one else I want.” You reassured. Slowly he propped his right leg up and looked up at you while holding your hands.

“Darling...I’m so glad to hear that because I will never love anyone more than you. You’re all I want. Forever. Will you marry me?”

“Yes. Yes. Of course!” You buried your face into the crook of his neck and started bawling.

“And just so you know, I wasn’t planning on proposing in our bedroom. I was actually planning on proposing to you in a shitty parking lot.” Both of you laughed.

“Where we met?”

“Of course.”

“No, no, this was perfect too.” You grinned into his neck.

“I rented out the parking lot too.”

“You didn’t!” You shoved his shoulder in disbelief.

“I did. I was going to finally give you your book.”

“You’re such a romantic, Keiji.”

“And now your fiance.” Both of you couldn’t keep the smiles off your faces.

‘I can’t wait to spend forever with you.”

BONUS:

“CONGRATS YOU GUYS!!!” Bokuto hugged both of you. “Akaashi I thought you rented the parking lot for Saturday though?”

“Yeahhhh...about that.” “She found the ring early.”

“Oh shit. Sorry man.” Bokuto rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

“No Ko, it was actually perfect. I don’t really care anyways. As long as we’re together.” You leaned into your boyfriend, fiance, future hubby.

“What did I tell you, Keiji?” Bokuto cawed.

“Yeah, yeah.”

“So what are you doing with the parking lot then?” Ko asked.

“We’re having a panda express picnic date on Saturday.”

(A/n literally could not sleep. Just this on my brain at 2:30 am)

#🤍writes #pls reblog #akaashi keji x reader #hq akaashi #haikyuu akaashi #akaashi keiji #haikyuu!! #haikyuu! x reader #haikyuu! fluff #fluff haikyuu #akaashi fluff #keiji fluff #akaashi imagine #akaashi fanfiction #reblogs

[mst3kproject]

Invasion of the Star Creatures

I promised you guys something truly awful this week, didn’t I?  Well, how about a space invasion ‘comedy’ (big emphasis on the air quotes there) produced by Samuel Zarkoff to be a double-bill with The Brain that Wouldn’t Die?  The closest thing it has to a star is Frankie Ray, whom MSTies might know as the writer of Laserblast.  He also wrote Zoltan, Hound of Dracula, which I really, really need to see one of these days.  Film Historian Bill Warren described Invasion of the Star Creatures as ‘so helplessly bad it’s almost unwatchable’.  Let’s find out if he was right.

Fort Nicholson is the world’s center for atomic research, despite apparently being staffed entirely by idiots.  The two biggest idiots are, unfortunately, our main characters.  Their names are Philbrick and Penn.  No, I don’t know which is which.  No, I don’t care.  I’m gonna call them Rick and Rick With The Squeaky Voice.  The first ‘comedic’ sequence involves Rick With The Squeaky Voice sitting in a barrel pretending he’s going to space, and getting his ass set on fire.

That sets the tone for the whole movie quite nicely. It’s stupid and it’s not funny, and it never gets any better.  In fact, as we shall see, it gets significantly worse.

For some reason, Rick and Rick With The Squeaky Voice are assigned to a mission to explore a cave recently exposed by a nuclear test.  This turns out to be the base for two seven-foot space women, Tanga and Pona, and their tuberous minions, the Vege-Men, and the entire party is soon in their clutches.  The aliens say that they have come to save humanity from destroying ourselves through nuclear war, but naturally the army isn’t into that.  Rick With The Squeaky Voice discovers that kissing the women puts them into a daze, allowing the two idiots to escape, but of course nobody back at Fort Nicholson believes their story.  Is it really up to these two to stop Tanga and Pona from heading back to their home planet with their report?  We’re doomed.

I don’t remember which review it was, but I once invited you to imagine a movie in which every character is Dropo or Watney Smith.  This is that movie.  This is proud of being that movie.  The aliens try to read the two Ricks’ minds and one is completely empty while the other is full of superhero fantasies.  Pona calls what she sees ‘completely illogical and infantile’, which is a fair description of the whole movie.

There’s a sequence where one of the army men shoots a rattlesnake that was about to bite one of the Ricks, and then cries because ‘he might have had a family’.  They try to lampoon the thing in old movies where the characters walk through the same set from different angles by doing it without cutting away or changing the camera angle, but it just looks dumb.  The Colonel gives a long-winded speech about the merits of getting straight to the point.  A forced march stops for a lovely picnic and wine tasting.  A guy gets his ass kicked by a Vege-Man and declares, “that’s the first time a salad ever tossed me.”  There’s a running ‘gag’ about fans of ‘Space Commander Connors’ recognizing each other’s secret decoder rings and immediately going into a full-on geek-out.

None of this is funny, much of it is downright embarrassing, and the worst part is that the writers have no idea how to include their attempts at comedy in the story.  Rather than the hijinks advancing the plot, every time something that’s supposed to be funny happens, the whole thing comes to a dead halt.  This gives the impression that the movie is stumbling around in the dark with no idea where it’s going.  It finally seems to settle on a plot when we find out that the spaceship is about to leave and must be stopped.  After some bullshit the Ricks convince the Colonel (and only the Colonel) to help them take on the aliens.  At this point I was thinking that this movie was pretty terrible but it hadn’t actually pushed me to the point of being tempted to turn it off…

And then it got racist.

The last ten minutes or so of Invasion of the Star Creatures are a downward spiral in which it seems like they gave up trying to be funny in favour of being actively offensive. First, they encounter what’s supposed to be a group of Native Americans on horseback.  Rick With The Squeaky Voice tries to get their attention by saying “hey, Kemosabe, I wanna buy some blankets!”  The Natives don’t speak much English but they do a lot of grunting, and threaten to kill the Colonel because they think he’s General Custer (?!).  Then they kidnap everybody and force them to smoke the peace pipe and drink firewater and the white guys only escape once the Natives have passed out.

Holy shit.  Not only is this repulsive, it is, as previously noted, irrelevant.  It has no effect on the plot other than to waste time.  The Natives do not help them defeat the aliens and neither does the Colonel, who is also in a drunken stupor.  And then, just when we think this can’t possibly get any worse, the defeated alien women declare that they must throw themselves on the mercy of the Earth Men.  This turns out to mean marrying them, and the dialogue specifically likens marriage to slavery, which Tanga and Pona seem to consider a point in its favour!  The end of this movie left my head spinning.  It’s like I watched a guy get ‘comedically’ knocked over by a punching bag for forty-five minutes and then he suddenly turned around and punched me in the face.

(Hey, I just realized… remember how I said the cave was exposed by a nuclear test?  The dialogue emphasizes how this whole area is irradiated and dangerous – and then totally forgets about it.  It’s never mentioned again and the characters take off their protective gear and never put it back on.  So… that was useless, too.)

There is stuff in this movie that could have been funny.  The secret decoder ring stuff almost got a smile out of me once or twice, because the characters seemed so earnest in their love for ‘Space Commander Connors’ and his lore.  The ‘Vege-Men’ also had potential.  We get to see a greenhouse room where they’re grown to be the women’s slaves, and the seedlings are hands or feet sticking out of flowerpots with a few leaves around them.  This is fairly amusing and I could see it being the juvenile form of a sentient plant on Star Trek TOS.  Adult Vege-Men are actors in stupid carrot costumes that they obviously can’t see out of very well, which should have been funny just because it’s so terrible, but Invasion of the Star Creatures is so bad you can’t even laugh at it ironically.

The idea of using a bumbling idiot as your main character, let alone two bumbling idiots, frankly baffles me.  Rick and Rick With The Squeaky Voice are supposed to be the guys we, the audience, identify with.  We’re supposed to like and root for them and to perhaps be able to imagine ourselves in their places, but the only thing I feel for them is contempt.  Why would anyone want to see themselves in these guys?  Perhaps it’s an attempt to say that anybody can be a hero, but the two Ricks don’t even qualify as that.  When they save the world, it’s basically by accident.  The ending, which rewards them with promotions, medals, and beautiful wives from outer space, actively makes me angry because they didn’t earn any of that!

Invasion of the Star Creatures works very hard at being pointless, and there’s very little in it that comes anywhere near a theme.  If any such thing exists, its in Tanga and Pona’s insistence that they’re here to save humanity whether we like it or not, and how the humans react to that idea.  The women say it would be a shame to see a young civilization destroy itself because nations were too stupid to work together.  Rick and Rick With The Squeaky Voice reject this entirely, which is supposed to be a joke: these guys are in the army, so if humanity transcends the need for conflict they’d be out of a job.  The rest of the plot then seems at pain to emphasize that humans cannot work together, and do not want to.

After all, the two Ricks’ attempts to summon help come to nothing.  The Native Americans never understand that these men want assistance, and the Colonel thinks it’s all a Space Commander Connors game before sliding under the metaphorical table, having never done anything useful.  The Ricks themselves spent most of their time arguing and complaining and in the end succeed only through good luck on their part and poor timing on that of the invaders.  Usually a story that begins with ‘aliens want to save primitive humans from ourselves’ would end with ‘the aliens were wrong about us’.  Invasion of the Star Creatures seems to want to say the aliens were right the whole time!

So there you have it – Invasion of the Star Creatures.  It started off kinda bad and not funny, then swirled down the cinematic toilet into outright offensive, racist, sexist drivel.  I’m trying to think of some small thing I can say about it that’s nice, but I’m having a very hard time.  I guess I kinda liked the rumbly noises that represent the alien language – that was more fun than just having the actresses spout random gobbledygook.  Other than that, I’m at a loss.  The actors suck, the sets suck, the effects suck, the costumes suck, and everybody involved was a bigoted dickweed.  Fuck this movie.

#mst3k #reviews #episodes that never were #invasion of the star creatures #fuck this movie #60s

[pennylanefics]

Saved - Finn Cole | Titanic AU

a/n: wow. i really love this. this is basically the love story of titanic, without the sinking ship or character death. it’s not written too well bc i was struggling with show not tell, but i think it’s the best it can be :) hope you like it!

warnings: mentions of abusive relationship (bruises, no physical acts), mentions of/hints to sex

•••

The sea breeze whipped through your hair as you gazed out at the dock, tons of people waving goodbye to anyone they could. You couldn’t believe this, you were actually heading to England on a beautiful ship, the first of its kind. The only bad part was the man you were supposed to be marrying.

Your parents were rich, so of course your marriage was sort of arranged by them. Your soon-to-be husband was a fellow business owner’s son, and bringing the two families together with your marriage would be “monumental”, as your father says.

But you weren’t happy. Jonas was a rude man. He didn’t treat you right, he was verbally abusive, and only cared about the business. It was awful being with him, and you tried telling your mother that you didn’t want to marry him, but it was no use.

They were moving with you two to be closer to Jonas’ business in England, which is why they were both on the ship with you. This only made things worse, you felt trapped. That’s why you were trying to spend as much time away from him as possible now.

Unfortunately, you had to spend the morning and afternoon alone, since Jonas was having business meetings with your dad and other colleagues. From the time after breakfast to before lunch, you unpacked all of your things in the luxurious suite, the ornate decorations a bit too gaudy for your taste.

It was beautiful, sure, but you weren’t cut out for the lavish lifestyle. You hated getting dressed up for every single meal when all you want to wear is a natural hairstyle and be free of a corset. But that’s not what your mother wanted.

You hadn’t seen her since boarding, so you guessed that she was with the other wives and women of first class.

“Darling,” that sickly voice calls out from the sitting room. Standing, you make your way out of the bedroom and find Jonas looking through his things.

“What is it?”

“Have you seen my pipe that your father gave me for our engagement?” Sighing, you slightly push him away and unzip the section of the suitcase that it was in.

“Don’t push me like that again,” he spits, storming out of the room and slamming the door. You feel tears form in your eyes, thankful that he didn’t lay a hand on you. You go back to your room and continue unpacking.

Dinner is boring, to say the least. You sit between your fiance and your mother, trying to be as proper as you can be. Your corset is bothering you, though, and the food is too bland. You wanted nothing more than to have a feast with chicken and potatoes and vegetables, not this overly-fancy first class trash; another thing you hated about the lavish lifestyle, the cuisine.

“Honey, are you feeling alright? You haven’t eaten much of your food,” your mother leans over to whisper in your ear.

“I’m not feeling very hungry, I guess.”

“It’s not like you need to eat anyways,” Jonas mumbles under his breath before taking a bite. You hear him clear as day, though. Clearing your throat, you stand, excusing yourself to the bathroom. In reality, you were going to the deck to get some fresh air and alone time.

Tears were streaming down your cheeks, blurring your vision as you run to the farthest deck on the ship. You pick your dress up at the side and before you can register what happens, you crash into someone.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” you stutter, trying to stand back up. A pair of hands helps you, and when you’re finally to your feet, you come face to face with a beautiful pair of blue eyes and soft features.

He was wearing a white shirt under a pair of suspenders and a green jacket, which was half zipped up. His hair was slightly curled against his forehead and blowing in the wind.

“Are you okay, love?” His sweet voice wonders, his hands keeping a hold on yours to keep you steady.

“Y-yes. I am. I just, I was needing some fresh air and, and-”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. Is someone following you?” Turning back, terrified of the idea that Jonas was behind you, a sigh of relief escapes your lips and you turn back towards the man.

“No. I was having dinner in the dining hall and I needed some time to myself.”

“Why are you crying?”

“Uh, I don’t-“

“Do you want to take a walk and talk things out? It seems like you could use some company,” he offers with a smile. “I’m Finn.”

“(Y/N), nice to meet you.”

“So, would you like to take a stroll with me?” He sticks his elbow out for you to take, and with a small chuckle, you loop your arm through his and begin to slowly walk.

“Any chance you’ll tell me why we ran into one another?” He asks right away.

“I was having dinner with my mother and fiance and I wasn’t feeling very hungry.”

“Your fiance?” He immediately drops his arm upon hearing that you’re soon-to-be married. He was a gentleman, there was no way he was going to mess with another woman’s relationship.

“Yes, but I don’t want to marry him.” You gaze up at Finn, trying hard to get across the idea that he was not a good man and you were not excited to be going through this.

“Is he the reason you ran off?” You nod in shame, staring down at your shoes as you two come to a stop at a bench right at the end of the ship.

“Unfortunately, yes. He made some comment about how I don’t need to eat, after I said that I wasn’t too hungry.” Finn’s eyebrows raise in surprise and he looks you up and down, making you feel slightly self-conscious.

“I think you look absolutely perfect,” he smiles. A blush rises to your cheeks and you look away from him.

“It’s so tough being with a man who doesn’t care about you at all. He’s so heartless and mean and I just can’t stand him.” Finn’s expression changes to an understanding and sympathetic one.

“Why don’t you leave him?”

“It’s not that easy. I’m bound to marry him because of our parents. They’re business partners and our marriage is supposed to help business increase. Believe me, if I could leave him, I would have left him at the port.” You both share a chuckle.

“You wouldn’t have run into me, then,” he flirts, scooting closer to you just a bit.

“That’s true,” you smile softly.

Later that night, you were sitting at your vanity, combing through your hair when Jonas walks in, an angry look on his face.

“Where the hell were you after dinner?!” He yells. “You never came back!”

“I know. I threw up so I came back here to lay down.” He seems to lay off a little, thankfully, and walks into your room to get undressed.

You don’t see Finn for days after that. But when you do, it’s not under good circumstances.

You were taking a walk on the lower deck, where you met Finn, hoping to find him. Miraculously, you find him lying on a bench smoking a cigarette, staring up at the orange sky. You come to stand right next to his head, making him sit up in excitement. Though that expression changes in a second.

“Holy shit,” he breathes out, throwing his cigarette overboard and moving closer to you. His hand comes to rest on your bruised cheek, checking out the mark that surrounds your left eye and cheekbone.

“He did this?” You nod under his gentle touch, something so different than Jonas’ touch.

“You need to leave him.”

“I can’t! Seriously, I don’t think you understand!”

“What I don’t understand is how you can stand by and let this happen! He’s abusive and awful and you’re still going to marry him?!”

“Excuse me! I’ve told you many times that I don’t want to! I can’t convince my mother to-” Finn is quick to cut you off with a kiss, pulling you by the waist close to him.

You’re taken aback, but melt into the kiss moments later, loving the new feeling. Finn’s lips were so soft and tasted sweet, like mint with a hint of cigarette smoke. Jonas always tasted like bourbon, whiskey, beer, any alcohol that he could get his hands on, and tobacco.

The kiss lasts longer than you were expecting as Finn deepens it, too caught up in the feeling. When he pulls away, you can’t help but smile a genuine smile.

“That was…” you begin, but you can’t seem to complete your sentence.

“It was. Your lips are soft,” he says, caressing your cheek again.

“This looks like it hurts, love.” He’s suddenly very concerned and focused on your injury.

“It does.” He grimaces at the thought of a man laying his hands on you in a violent way. In that moment, he makes a promise to himself to save you from this marriage with all the power he can.

“Do you wanna go somewhere?” There’s a suggestive tone in his voice, exciting you a little.

“Where do you have in mind?” A smirk tugs at the corner of his lips as he takes hold of your hand and begins to run. Your laugh sounds through the halls, continuing to follow him, feeling so free and genuinely happy for the first time in years.

Finn leads you down to third class, then even lower in the ship, to the storage hold. There were so many cars and shipping crates and boxes. As you pass along the rows of vehicles, a familiar one catches your eye.

“Hey, this is my family’s car,” you quietly call out to Finn. He suddenly gets an idea and pulls you inside, laying you down across the seat.

“Want to get back at Jonas for what he did?” He asks. Your eyebrows raise in question. Finn doesn’t say anything, but he leans down to kiss you sweetly. Things eventually escalate as your hands explore each other’s bodies.

Finn can’t help but notice the multitude of bruises all over your body, breaking his heart even more upon knowing that he’s done this many times.

“You don’t deserve this,” he whispers, hurt in his voice, his fingers running across the marks. “You deserve marks of love, not marks of anger.”

“Then mark me up, Finn. Make me yours. Jonas has never given me one before.” Finn’s eyes widen at the idea, and he’s more than happy to. He begins at your neck, biting and sucking lovingly, leaving pink marks all over.

After he’s satisfied with your neck, he moves down your body to the bruises and begins sucking spots right next to them.

“I don’t want you to look at your body and see these awful bruises. I want you to see the love bites I’m giving you,” he mumbles against your skin. A soft moan escapes your lips as he finishes up, moving back up to kiss you deeply.

“Please Finn. I need you,” you whimper. He is more than happy to finally give you what you want, and what you deserve.

Every day that you’re not with Jonas, you’re with Finn, sneaking around and hanging out in the third class level with him. You felt so different when you were with him, you felt real. With Jonas, everything felt fake, like you were putting up this facade for your family's businesses, which was essentially what you were doing. With Finn, you could be yourself and not have a care in the world.

One night, Jonas was with a bunch of other businessmen and your father, gambling, drinking, and smoking, meaning he would be gone until well into the night. So, you invite Finn over since he mentioned he would love to draw you. That was one thing you found out on your secret dates, he’s an artist. And a very good one at that.

He showed up with his sketching kit and sheepishly steps inside, feeling very out of place in the grand room.

“Wow, you really live a pretty fancy life, huh?” He jokes.

“That’s probably the best thing about all of this. We always get the best rooms.” He takes a seat in the chair in the corner of your bedroom, beginning to set his supplies up.

“Would you ever give it up?” His voice is soft and uncertain. You know what he’s basically asking: would you ever want to live without all the perks of coming from a rich family?

“Yes. I hate it sometimes. Everyone cares about money and status. My relationship with Jonas feels fake at this point. It’s all for business. He doesn’t love me, I don’t love him. Even my parents said that our marriage is only for business purposes. I’m being used and I hate it. I would give anything to just, be normal.”

Finn takes in your words and he can hear the hurt in your voice. He wants to save you so bad, he wants to go to your mother and demand that she break the marriage off because you’re not happy. But for now, he pushes those thoughts aside and goes back to sharpening his tools.

After getting ready in the bathroom, you step into the bedroom, catching Finn’s eyes. They roam all over your body, which is covered by a silk robe. You slowly untie it and let it fall to the ground, allowing him to see all of you once again.

“Um, lay on the bed for me,” he murmurs, becoming very flustered at the thought. Smiling, you take a seat on the bed, waiting for him to instruct you on how to lay. He tells you to lay diagonally, on your back but facing him. He ends up placing some pillows behind you to push you up a bit, just so he can get the illusion of you laying on your side even though you’re not.

He fixes your hair just a little so it’s framing your face more, his fingers lingering on your cheek for a little longer. You giggle as he quickly kisses you before taking his seat again and beginning to draw.

You stare at him in awe as he focuses on getting your details just right.

“I love that the marks I put on you last night are more prominent than the bruises that he left days ago,” Finn smirks. You chuckle and run your fingers over a few of them.

“Hey, don’t move, darling,” he chided playfully. The pet name reminds of you of the first day you were on the ship, when Jonas called you by it. His tone was rude and annoyed, compared to the way Finn uses it; it’s much more soft and loving.

“I’ll try not to.”

Finn continues looking between you and his paper, a concentrated look in his beautiful blue eyes. The warm glow of the single light in the room gives off a very romantic feeling, and you could feel yourself becoming aroused. Your meet-ups were never this romantic, besides your first time making love; though that was in the back of a car, not in a real bed.

After an hour and a half or so, Finn finishes, signing his name at the bottom before letting you know that you could move. Sitting up, you wait for him to show you. He moves to take a seat on the bed and you look over his shoulder.

“Wow,” you say in wonder. It looked absolutely beautiful and he of course included all of HIS marks on you. “I love it, Finn.”

“You’re very beautiful, so it was quite easy to embody that.” You blush and lean against his back, wrapping your arms around him.

“Well thank you for making me feel beautiful,” you whisper in his ear. He sighs softly as your hands run down his chest, under his shirt. “Now I want to feel loved.”

This catches his attention and he is quick to place his sketching pad on the ground and join you on the bed, on top of you.

“No problem, sweetheart.” You two spend the rest of your time together under the sheets, entangled in each other’s bodies, making love to each other like it was your last time.

Finn flops beside you, his chest rising and falling with each short breath he takes. Your eyes were shut as the pleasure still coursed through you from your last orgasm. Another thing Finn could do, give you multiple orgasms.

After calming down and cooling off for a little bit, Finn pulls you into his grip, letting you rest against his chest and shoulder. Your head fits perfectly in the crook of his neck, feeling his clammy and sweaty skin against yours, something you had come to love.

“I know we’ve only known each other for a couple weeks, but I think I love you, (Y/N),” Finn’s voice is quiet and hesitant. He has no idea how you’re going to react.

“Really?” You gaze up at him.

“Yeah. I don’t want to force you to say or do anything, but I just need you to know.”

“I love you too, Finn. I thought that was obvious.” You sit up, keeping the covers around your breasts. Finn catches this and tugs it down cheekily, leaving you bare again; he preferred it that way anyways.

“So, where do we go from here?” Thinking for a moment, you try to run through ways to break it to your mother.

“I want to be with you,” you whisper, running your finger along his cheek and lips. “I don’t want to marry Jonas.”

“Good. Because you don’t deserve to be with a guy like him, who’s only going to abuse you and make you unhappy.”

“You make me happy, Finn.” As you were going to kiss him, a knock sounds on the door of your room. Both of your eyes go wide in shock and horror, not knowing who it is.

Quickly throwing on your robe, you instruct Finn to stay put in your room and to lock the door behind you. Taking a deep breath, you open the door and see that your mother is standing there.

“Hi, what did you need?” Your heart was racing as she steps inside of your room.

“Where’s Jonas?” She wonders.

“He’s with dad and a bunch of others in the entertainment room.” She nods and sits on the small couch, looking around.

“Is something wrong, (Y/N)?” Her words make you extremely nervous, which doesn’t pose well for you.

“No. Nothing’s wrong.”

“Because it just seems like you’re hiding something.” Your eyebrows furrow and you can’t help by look to your bedroom door, knowing that Finn is probably pressed up against it.

“No, I’m not.”

“(Y/N), tell me the truth.” She stares at you and in that moment, you know she knows. “Who is it?” Still, you try to make it seem like you have no clue what she’s talking about.

“I don’t-”

“I know you’re seeing another man. It’s obvious. To me, at least.” Sighing deeply, you keep your gaze away from her as you explain.

“I met him our first night on the boat, when I ran out during dinner. I accidentally ran into him and he noticed I was crying. We took a walk to calm me down and it helped. After that, I ran into him again a few days later. It escalated from that point.”

“Meaning?” Closing your eyes, you prepare for how she was going to react.

“We made love for the first time that night. We decided to meet up every night that I wasn't with Jonas. I don’t feel bad for it, honestly.”

“Why not?” You move your robe to show your side, where the bruise from Jonas kneeing you was still healing. She gasps in shock, not having any knowledge of Jonas being violent.

“That’s not it, though. I had bruises everywhere, including my face. Finn is the first man to ever be so gentle with me. When I came to him with the bruise on my face, his touch was so light yet so tender. I never felt so...admired and cared for. He knows how to make me feel loved.”

“Is he rich?” You take a moment before answering.

“No. He’s from third class. But he’s more of a gentleman than Jonas will ever be.” She’s very disappointed with the idea that you’re seeing someone so different than you.

“Are you happy with him?” A huge smile appears on your face, and she sees this change in your attitude right away.

“I am. I’ve never laughed so much, I’ve never smiled so much, I feel free and comfortable with him. I think I love him, mother.”

“Well,” she begins, not knowing how to handle this situation. “Is he going back to wherever for a job?”

“He’s from England, so that’s why he’s on the ship. He’s been stuck in America for years, and now he’s finally going back to his family. He mentioned that he had a job, I forgot what it was, though.”

“Do you want to be with him, (Y/N)?”

“Yes,” you answer right away. There was no doubt in your mind that Finn was the one you were to be with. Just then, Finn emerges from the bedroom, startling both you and your mom. You tried to keep him from coming out, but it was no use.

“Hi Mrs. (Y/L/N). I’m Finn,” he waves to your mother, awkwardly coming to stand behind you. Surprisingly, she’s not upset or disgusted. There’s a very understanding look on her face.

“It’s very nice to meet you, young man. I understand that you’re the one who’s been taking care of my daughter?” A deep blush appears on his cheeks at the wording, though she means in terms of saving you from Jonas.

“Y-yes, I am. I love her very much and seeing her so hurt because of the man she’s supposed to be marrying is very upsetting.” She smiles at him and reaches out to shake his hand.

“Thanks to you, I would not have had any idea that he was doing this. As much as I wish the marriage would go through, I do not want her being abused. Business is not worth that. He can marry a cousin or someone like that.” You and Finn exchange looks of hope with one another.

“So she doesn’t have to marry Jonas?” Your mother smiles and pulls both of you in for hugs.

“No. She says she wants to be with you, and I’ve never heard her speak of a man so highly before. I can now tell that she’s very happy with you. Treat her right, yes?”

“Of course. You don’t have to worry about that. From the moment I met her, I knew she deserved way better than him. And I’m going to make sure I treat her as she should, like a princess.” Finn turns to you after finishing and reaches for your hand.

“I’m glad she now has someone who actually cares for her. And (Y/N),” she looks at you, “I want to apologize for putting business before your happiness.”

“It’s alright. I know that dad can be too persuasive and it’s hard to stop. But, what are you going to tell him? He’s not going to believe that Jonas is awful.”

“I’ll figure something out. For now, why don’t you two stay in bed and relax, knowing that everything is settled.”

“We can always go down to third class. I have a single bed because my roommate found a friend who had a single room. They took our double and I took the single.”

“No. You deserve to stay here for a while. It’s much more comfortable and warm.” Finn smiles thankfully and pulls you close to him.

“What happens when Jonas comes back for his stuff?” You were now terrified of what was going to happen. Finn senses this immediately and tightens his grip, pressing his lips to your forehead. Your mother smiles at this small bit of affection, and that’s the turning point for her.

This is who you belong with.

“I can move everything to the extra room we have. We were saving it for you, in case you wanted to spend a few nights there just because.”

“I’m worried about whether he comes back to hit me or Finn.”

“I’ll tell him that you two are down in third class.” You move out of Finn’s grip to give your mother a huge hug.

“Thank you,” you whisper, trying hard not to cry.

“I want you to be happy, sweetie. I see that Finn is the one who does. Just make sure to keep the doors locked, alright? And if he keeps pestering you, call our room and we’ll have it taken care of.” Nodding, you walk back over to Finn and hug him tightly this time.

“I wish you two the best, sincerely. I know you’ll be the best for her, Finn.” She gives him a final hug as well before leaving with a satisfied look in her eyes.

You know your tears are about to fall as Finn grabs you by the waist and drags you back into grip. That breaks the dam and within seconds, you are sobbing loudly. Finn just holds you and lets you cry, rubbing your back comfortingly.

“It’s okay, you’re safe now, love. You’re safe with me,” he whispers. When you’re well enough to move, he is quick to lock the door, dead bolting it as well. You follow him back into the bedroom, which he locks too. That’s when you breathe out a sigh of relief.

You two crawl back into bed and cuddle up with one another, this time feeling much more different.

You were free from an abusive, controlled relationship.

“I love you so much, Finn,” you whisper.

“I love you too. darling.”

“You saved me,” you smile softly, finally taking in everything that just happened.

“You needed to be saved. And I’m glad that I was here for you.”

“Thank you.” His lips press to yours in a slow, passionate kiss. It’s filled with every emotion in his body.

“Seeing you bruised and beat up was the worst thing in the world. I never want you to go through that again.”

“Well,” you smirk, moving to straddle his lap, “I wouldn’t mind being bruised and marked up by your hands and your lips,” you purr, leaning down to bite the shell of his ear. He chuckles and rests his hands on your hips.

“I wouldn’t mind that either. But we have the rest of our lives to do that. For now, I want to make you feel special.”

“The rest of our lives, eh?” A smile tugs at the corner of his lips and he nods.

“The rest of our lives.”

•••

@peakyxtommy @peakywitch @blueeyedheizer @the-ink-and-salt-club

#finn cole #finn cole imagines #finn cole x reader #titanic #titanic au #au #finn cole au #imagines #fanfiction #fanfic

[mikauzoran]

Platonic Adrino/DJ Wifi: Drunk Ladybug on My Balcony? Yeah. This is Fine.: Chapter Eight

Read it on AO3: Drunk Ladybug on My Balcony? Yeah. This is Fine.: Chapter Eight: Bros First

Alya and Nino were curled up on her bed watching Lupin on her laptop when a slightly impatient knock came at the sliding glass door out to her balcony.

Nino frowned in utter bafflement. “What the hell? How is there someone knocking on your fourth story balcony door?”

Alya stiffened as a wave of dread rolled over her. She glanced at her phone to find she had zero unread texts from Marinette announcing a visit.

That didn’t necessarily mean it wasn’t Ladybug out on her balcony, but Alya took that as a good sign because it would certainly be a lot less awkward and suspicious if it were her boyfriend’s superhero crush out there instead of her own.

“Al?” Nino prompted questioningly.

Alya mentally crossed her fingers as she sat up and set the laptop aside, going over to pull back the curtain, hoping against all hope that it was their resident cat-boy and that Nino would be so distracted that he wouldn’t ask difficult questions.

Chat Noir had his hand raised, just about to knock again, when Alya opened the curtain and unlocked the door.

Instant relief washed across his face. “Oh my gosh, Alya! You will never believe what just happened to me! I have to talk to you.”

And then Nino came up behind Alya and gaped at the hero, making Chat Noir freeze.

“Is Chat Noir on your balcony, or am I hallucinating?” Nino wondered in a state of borderline shock.

“I am so sorry,” Chat spit out, heat rising on his cheeks. “I didn’t mean to interrupt. I…I can explain!”

Nino turned to Alya. “He visits you too?”

Now it was Alya’s turn for confusion. “Wait. He visits you?” she returned incredulously as she looked back and forth between her boyfriend and the superhero.

Nino shrugged. “Yeah. He started coming over, like…when we were fourteen, fifteen. We play video games and watch movies and stuff. Sometimes I run my mixes by him and get his opinion. How long has he been visiting you?”

Alya pursed her lips, turning to frown reproachfully at Chat Noir. “You’ve been visiting him for years?”

“I can explain?” Chat didn’t sound so sure as his shoulders rose up to meet his ears. “Or maybe I should come back some other time. I’m clearly crashing your date.”

Alya rolled her eyes and grabbed Chat Noir by the arm, hauling him into the room. “Get in here.”

She quickly relocked the door behind him and drew the curtain before turning back to Nino and pointing accusatorially at Chat Noir. “Do you know who he is?”

Nino’s brow gradually furrowed as he felt even more lost. “Um…yeah. He’s Chat Noir. You run a blog about him?”

Alya groaned, dropping her head as she shook it. “No. No. Like, do you know his secret identity?”

“No,” Nino snorted as if she’d made some ludicrous suggestion. But then he paused, and the amusement left him. “Holy crap. Wait. Do you?”

Alya turned her mystified expression on Chat Noir. “How does he not know who you are if you two have been hanging out for years? Is my boyfriend dumb?”

“Hey,” Nino whined.

Chat put his hands up in surrender. “No. He just never asked, and I didn’t tell him.” He looked back to Nino. “I’m really sorry. I didn’t tell Alya either. I’ve never told anyone. She just figured me out.”

“Okay?” Nino replied, feeling like he should say something but not really sure why he should care. “I mean…that’s fine, Mec. I get the secret identities thing. You’re not supposed to tell me, so it’s not really a bad thing that I don’t know. I don’t have to know what name appears on your birth certificate to be your friend, so…it doesn’t really matter.”

Chat Noir winced, and his expression turned guilty as he looked at Nino with eyes pleading for forgiveness. “It kind of does matter, and I’m sorry I never said anything…. Detransformation.”

Nino’s eyes widened as the suit faded in a burst of neon green light, leaving Adrien Agreste standing before him in the Ladybug pyjamas Marinette had made him for his birthday two years prior.

“I am so sorry,” Adrien whimpered, bracing for the fallout.

Nino let out a guttural curse and then repeated it three times in quick succession.

Adrien winced, repeating, “I’m sorry. If I could have told you I would have, but Ladybug is super strict about the secret identities rule.”

“No, it’s cool,” Nino assured lightheadedly, still staring at Adrien like he had just revealed that he had been leading a double life for more than half a decade now. “Seriously. I totally get it. I’m just… Holy crap, you’re Chat Noir,” Nino began to snicker maniacally, sounding like he was hyperventilating.

“Yeah,” Adrien replied lamely, grimacing. “I’m Chat Noir…. Are you okay?”

“I need to sit down,” Nino announced, promptly sinking to the floor and flopping over onto his back.

“Babe, are you okay?” Alya spoke up tentatively, starting to get concerned in earnest.

“Yep,” he continued to laugh. “All good. My best bro is just a superhero. That’s all. Normal day.”

“I am so sorry,” Adrien reiterated, not sure what else to say or do.

Alya’s reaction had seemed so blasé. He hadn’t been prepared for Nino to freak.

“No.” Nino held up a hand to stop him. “Seriously. It’s good. You’re good. I’m just…processing. Poorly. I mean… I’m sorry, Mate. I feel like I should have known or something.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t,” Alya hummed. “He told you about his mystery girl crush, didn’t he? How did you think he knew her?”

Nino threw up his hands in exasperation without moving up off the floor. “I don’t know! I thought she dropped by his house or something! I’ve had a standing friend date night with Chat Noir the past five years! It wasn’t too farfetched to think she visited Adrien like that too. I mean, I would totally sneak in to see him and break him out to go have some fun if I had a Miraculous permanently. That would be my number one abuse of power.”

“That’s really sweet,” Adrien cooed, touched that the thought had even crossed Nino’s mind.

“Romantic rooftop escapades with your girlfriend wouldn’t be top on your list?” Alya snickered, amused.

“Bros before you-know-whats,” Nino announced vehemently, causing Alya to laugh harder.

She turned to smirk at Adrien, elbowing his arm. “Well, good to know where his priorities stand. I always suspected he loved you more.”

Adrien rolled his eyes, returning the playful nudge. “He loves us the same but differently.”

Nino groaned, hissing a sibilant curse as a realization struck him.

“What?” Alya inquired, arching an eyebrow as her boyfriend covered his face with his hands and rolled around on the floor in mortification.

“You okay, Mec?” Adrien inquired hesitantly, leaning in a bit to peer down at his best friend curiously.

“No!” Nino whined, propping himself up on his elbows. “You let me make a total fool of myself!”

Adrien quirked an eyebrow. He debated making a remark to the effect of Nino making a fool of himself with or without Adrien’s help but ultimately decided against it, instead going with, “When?”

Nino pointed accusingly. “You let me go on and on about my embarrassing crush on Chat Noir!”

Alya clapped a hand over her mouth to keep from bursting out laughing. To be fair, she’d felt a little dumb when she’d discovered that she’d been raving to Marinette about her superhero alter ego all these years, but Nino seemed more embarrassed whereas Alya had been able to easily laugh at herself in retrospect.

“I was flattered,” Adrien insisted, crouching down so that he was on Nino’s level. “Seriously. It’s not a big deal. I’m used to people fawning over Adrien’s stupid model face all the time, and Chat Noir’s fans can be a little…um…weird…most of the time, so it was really refreshing that someone thought he was attractive as a person,” he admitted sheepishly, rubbing at the back of his neck.

Nino sat up, frowning at Adrien, clearly not impressed. “Dude, I went on, like, rants about your ass.”

Adrien shrugged. “I have a very nice asset, and it looks objectively better in magical leather. You have good taste in men.”

Nino’s frown morphed into a miffed stare of disapproval. “This isn’t weird for you at all, is it?”

Adrien flashed another sheepish grin as he shook his head. “Afraid not. Besides, even if it was, I’m sure you’re completely cured of your temporary insanity now that you know just who it is under the mask.”

Nino let out a bark of laughter, roughly tussling Adrien’s hair. “Fat chance, Mec! Nah, now that I know, I’m even more in love with you.” He turned to Alya to mutter a quick, “Sorry, Al,” before returning his attention to his best friend. “Adrien Agreste, will you marry me?”

“I thought you’d never ask!” Adrien cackled, nearly knocking Nino over backwards as he launched himself at his friend, wrapping Nino in a tight hug. “Can we have an April wedding? I’m a spring, so I look best in bright, light, warm colours. I think you’re probably an autumn, so deep, warm colours would suit you best. We might need to hire a consultant.”

“Whatever you say, My Love,” Nino tittered, his sides beginning to hurt from laughter.

Alya gave a snort as she put her hands on her hips. “Hey! What am I? Yesterday’s garbage? I thought we were getting married!”

“You don’t even believe in marriage,” Nino continued to laugh.

Alya crossed her arms and gave her head a little toss. “True, but your pestering was starting to make me come around to the idea.”

“Well, how about Adrien can be my sexy househusband, and you can be my wild, adventurous lover?” he suggested.

Adrien shrugged, pulling back out of the hug. “I’m down with that.”

Alya considered for a moment and then shrugged as well. “Yeah, okay. That works for me. I don’t actually believe in marriage anyway.”

Nino gave his eyes a fond roll, turning to Adrien. “I’ll wear her down one of these days.”

“Definitely,” Adrien agreed and then paused, suddenly looking uncertain. “…Are we okay?”

Nino pushed all joking aside and really looked at his friend. “Yeah. I’m not mad or whatever you were worried about. I get that you couldn’t tell me, even though you wanted to. When I first became Carapace, I wanted to tell you too, but Ladybug was pretty clear about the rules, so…”

He inhaled slowly, taking Adrien in. “But, man… Holy crap…. You’re Chat Noir.”

Adrien nodded timidly. “Yeah.”

Abruptly, tears sprang forth from the corners of Nino’s eyes and began spilling down his cheeks. “You get beaten up a lot.”

Adrien winced, replying softly, “Yeah.”

“That’s…” Nino swallowed and tried again. “That was hard enough to watch when you were just Chat Noir…. I don’t think I can do this, knowing it’s you getting thrown around like a rag doll.”

“Sorry,” Adrien whispered, wishing there was some way to make it easier. “I really am sorry, but it’s my job.”

Nino’s eyes widened in fear, and he cursed once more, breathlessly.

Adrien cocked his head to the side in question.

Nino shook his head, his bottom lip beginning to tremble as the tears came harder and faster. He took Adrien’s face in his hands, and his voice cracked as he whimpered, “You d-die…sometimes.”

Adrien held Nino’s gaze, mountains of apologies filling his eyes as he nodded sadly in confirmation.

It was then that Alya beckoned to Plagg who had curled up on top of one of the speakers on her desk. “Cheese,” she mouthed, motioning for him to follow her out into the kitchen to give the guys some privacy.

Plagg willingly complied, floating over to hide in the hood of her hoodie as she slipped soundlessly out of the room.

Meanwhile, Nino, closed his eyes and gritted his teeth, trying to hold in the whirling spiral of emotions he was feeling.

Adrien scooted closer, leaning in to rest his forehead against Nino’s. “Shhh,” he coaxed, wrapping his arms around his friend. “It’s okay. I’m okay, Nino.”

“Sometimes you’re not, though,” Nino hiccupped bitterly.

“Only for a little while,” Adrien added, trying to appease. “I try to be careful. I really did hear you when you chewed Chat Noir out for being reckless. I was listening, and I’ve tried not to jump into danger unnecessarily…. It’s just…sometimes it is necessary.”

Nino pulled back to look Adrien in the face, his eyes filled with fierce determination. “I need you to do something for me, promise me something.”

Adrien readily nodded. “Of course.”

“Talk to Ladybug for me,” Nino instructed. “Convince her to give me the Turtle Miraculous full-time.”

Adrien’s eyes widened in surprise. “But—”

“—No,” Nino cut him off. “Convince her. Don’t take no for an answer. Don’t tell me it’s dangerous or some crap like that. Bros don’t let bros stay sidelined. I can protect you. I can keep you safe. Let me help, Adrien. Let me be your shield. That’s what my job is supposed to be.”

Slowly, Adrien began to nod. As much as he wanted his best friend as far away from danger as possible, he completely understood how Nino felt. If their situations were reversed, Adrien would do anything he could to make Nino safer.

“Okay. I’ll talk to her,” Adrien promised, “and I will bug the hell out of her until she gives in.”

Nino let out a long sigh of relief as he nodded. “Okay. All right. Good enough for now…. Thanks, Mec.”

“Thank you,” Adrien stressed, leaning in to press a butterfly’s wing beat of a kiss to Nino’s cheek.

Nino laughed, pulling Adrien into a crushing hug. He gave Adrien’s cheek a sloppy smooch, declaring, “Love you, Man.”

Adrien returned the laughter with interest, settling into Nino’s embrace, finding comfort there. “Love you too.”

#Adrino #Platonic Adrino #DJ Wifi #Miraculous Ladybug #Miraculous Ladybug Fanfiction #Adrien Agreste #Nino Lahiffe #Alya Césaire #Plagg #Friendship #Bromance #Bros #Mikau's Writings #Drunk Ladybug on My Balcony? Yeah. This is Fine.

[normal-thoughts-official]

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHDBpb/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHCTwq/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHUxHb/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHDxww/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHCtVm/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHCvo3/

She's hilarious but there's two videos where she starts to speak more mumblingly

ok first of all these are brilliant and i'm losing my mind and i love you, thank you for curating these to me.

i will transcribe them in a bit but i just felt the need to leave this "little" (it's long sorry) note:

as someone who's been raised catholic i just want to say that she is pretty wrong about almost everything she said about catholics, and i say that as someone who hates catholicism with my whole mind body and soul and who's been traumatized by this stupid fucking faith to the point where i can't get into a church without breaking into sobs dauihdasiuh. the catholic guilt is real but catholics are absolutely allowed to divorce and use contraceptives, and also have sex before marriage. the first one is met with some guilt esp from women altho honestly i think it's more due to mysoginist reasons than religious reasons, and the second and third ones are commonpractice and if you say that it's wrong and bad everyone will think you're a fucking weirdo

and even with the divorce thing, while the guilt is there (im pretty sure half the reason my mom doesn't divorce is because she would feel guilty about it, although again, i feel like that's got very little to do with religion and way more with internalized mysoginy), i cannot stress enough that divorce is allowed, almost everyone i know has divorced parents and they're all catholics. the church's official position is kinda weird (as of now pope francis basically said that it's "morally necessary" in some cases but he also referred to ppl who divorced and remarried as "imperfect", but like, it hasn't been forbidden for years, so much so that people get second marriages at catholic churches literally all the time, and i kinda feel like ppl overestimate how much ppl care about what the pope says. at least here in latam, cuz we've always kind of freestyled religion since it was imposed on us anyway, but like... in my experience the average catholic practitioner is INCREDIBLY less conservative than the vatican and i feel like most people don't even know what the pope says or doesn't say. and i'm saying that as someone whose grandfather almost became a priest and only gave that up because he fell in love with my grandmother, and he's been a ferverent catholic his entire life. also two of his kids divorced, one married a divorced woman, one is gay and living together without marriage with his divorced boyfriend, one never married, and one had two kids before marriage which necessarily means that they fucked, and none of that was ever a problem to him. oh, also, my dad had divorced AND he was a buddhist when him and my mom married. currently he is a spiritist)

i think it might be possible that u technically have to ask for "permission" to the church to remarry in church, but in practice i think it's more of a ritualistic thing than actually asking for permission, cuz i've never met a single person who had them say no. it was pretty much "hey local bishop guy so my husband sucked and we divorced can i marry again" "sure lol". obviously it sucks that you even have to ask, but it's nowhere near as strict as people seem to think

the contraceptive thing is also absurd. like i cannot stress enough that my family would absolutely flip if they found out i DIDN'T use contraception. that was always something that my family reinforced very strongly, ESPECIALLY my grandpa. i've never met a single catholic who does not teach their kids to use contraceptives. my high school was catholic (literally named the Holy Cross, fun times, although they didn't impose the faith or anything. in fact almost half of the students in that school are jewish, but like, still, there was a priest in the school board) and we were taught to use contraceptives, put the condom in a banana and the whole pizzazz during biology class

like yeah the bible says not to but it also says not to mix different fabrics and that doesn't mean it's actually a thing that's reinforced in most catholic communities doaihdaj at least not here in latam. in here non-catholic christians are actually way more hardcore about the puritanism rules than catholics are, particularly evangelicals, which are kind of overtaken the catholics' traditional role of being colonialist fuckers as they are mostly from the US so they come to further US imperialism through religion here. watch out catholic church they're coming for ur crown

and even outside of puritanism, "non practicing catholics" are absolutely a thing like ppl who are catholic but don't even pray or go to church, much less care about that shit douahdsaohj so like the stereotype that all catholics are like the very small minority of hardcore catholics is like the stereotype that every muslim lives by the ultra-conservative muslim rules. it's not true and it's stereotypical and taking the minority ultra conservatives to be the rule when they are not

there's also the fact that there are many different currents of thought inside the catholic church (a little bit like with judaism although way less flexible than judaism is), some of which are very conservative, some of which are progressive. here in latam in particular the teology of liberation is extremely popular (it's the one my family subscribes to, and i'm pretty sure it was actually born here in latam) and it's pretty progressive. for catholics, that is

and like mandatory disclaimer that i am coming from my own experiences with latam catholicism, which i feel is different from other catholic countries - my polish friends for example have experiences with catholicism that are a lot closer to those stereotypes than mine ever were - but since most of the catholic population in the world is brazilian (like me), and second place goes to mexicans, i feel pretty comfortable taking it as a ruler to measure general catholic practices

with that being said, however, the catholic church can choke and die in a fire as it is a symbol of colonialism first and foremost, its proselitism is one of the worst things ever, and even the progressive currents are still way too damn conservative for my tastes. i just don't feel comfortable transcribing something that i know is incorrect and stereotypical (and that in some cases is used to further oppression like with the Irish in the UK or armenian catholics, and i've even had some US-diaspora latinos hear some incredible things from gringos who assumed they were catholic, or, in their beautiful words, "had latino religion". but obviously in most cases catholics are the oppressors, especially here in the third world)

also, her assessment in the third video is absolutely correct. A/B/O IS just conservative gender roles born of christian and catholic imposition transposed to a fictional world where the genders have slightly different names, which is why i, as a rule, hate it dauhdsaiuhdauhda and even though the assessment that catholicism is thaaat much more conservative than other christian religions (it's absolutely not, it's Exactly As Conservative) isn't true, catholicism is still where most if not all of western conservative rethoric is born of, and ugh, it's so refreshing to see someone understand this and put it into words so well

so yeah keep that note in mind but anyway, transcriptions:

[Video transcription #1: in reply to a tiktok question, which says, "now i'm thinking about the catholic guilt that would come with it oh my god". user @Omarsbigsister is saying, "good morning", she then covers her mouth as she starts to laugh, before continuing, "I guess I'm the religious omegaverse tiktoker now. I did not know catholic guilt was more than just sex, I thought it was just about sex, but nO. people who are catholic, if you don't know, they get guilt over every little thing, they get guilty when they eat, they have guilt when, like... [dismissive gesture] they have fun... it's messed up *cut* [mumbling i don't understand, sorry] in which you HAVE to be bonded before... *sticks tongue out* *cut* and catholics, from what i know, uhm, cannot get divorced, so you can't be unbonded, you're stuck for life with that alpha or omega, and then you can't use contraceptives so if you have a heat or rut, good luck, you cannot escape it, and on top of that, they preach abstinence, right, so if you're having a heat or rut in your teen years you just gotta deal with it alone like you are not allowed to be bonded, so, that would be really intense."

#2: in response to a question, which said, "follow up question: if in the real world hijabis are women, in ABO universe would hijabis be omegas of all genders?". the user is shown stroking her chin in contemplative silence for a long time, before she says, "actually, both men and women have to wear a hijab, it's just more visible on women, but men also have to cover from like, the neck all the way down... so like when you see them [mumbling i don't understand, sorry] that's their hijab. *cut* Islam is actually treating men and women, like, fairly somewhat equally, so, I feel like in omegaverse alphas, betas, and omegas would all be held to the same standards, and alphas and omegas would also be held by the same standards but then culture would ruin it, just like western culture has ruined it. for your other question. 'would muslim families prefer betas more, and would betas be spiritual leaders', i feel like everyone prefers betas more, but then also Islam came to like, uplift women [a written note then shows up, which says, "like girls are seen as a blessing to have as kids"], so like omegas would be seen as like, a blessing to have as a child.

#3: in response to another tiktok question, which says, "fun fact bestie you cannot get divorced in the catholic religion even if your spouse is abusive and horrible to you so in omegaverse how would that work?". she replies, "the reason that Abrahamic religions seemingly fit so well into the omegaverse universe is because catholicism specifically and christianity, uhm, all the gender norms and all the cultural norms especially in the west came from catholicism and christianity, they were forced on people, and then you know, people might not be religious, but the norms stay. but now you have omegaverse which is basically just a bunch of like youth exploring the youth through this, like, werewolf fanfiction trope, using all these gender roles that you have in society on their head, so, really, what i'm saying, is that... omegaverse is just catholicism fanfiction"

#4: she looks at the camera and says, "getting islamophobic comments is one thing, but getting islamophobic comments that say that muslims cannot be in the omegaverse".... she then breaks into laughter for a solid 30 seconds

#5: she is shown reading out loud, in a mock-outraged face, a tweet that says, "about to murder tiktok they try to make Ramadan a 'quirky' trend. it's a religious holiday. stop it, get some help. /srsly /g.", then a follow-up tweet, which says, "saw a tweet saying on tiktok they are asking questions about how ramadan would work in omegaverse. i'm done with y'all, just say you disrespect muslims and go". then another tweet by a different user, which says, "i tried to read, i got secondhand embarrassment-" they then break out of character and say, "oh, that's fair," before going back, "if it wasn't ramadan i'd be boxing those people right now. those people should be ashamed to even think that way wtf". then another, which replies, "well i'm not celebrating it, so as a non-muslim, i'll happily box them". then, back to her normal voice, she says, "i really was just making a silly little tiktok and seeing that stuff really hurts... i'm just kidding, i can't keep a straight face. you like minecraft youtubers, what are you gonna do to me? what are you gonna do to me?"

#6: in reply to a tiktok ask, which said, "prince philip was an omega". she slowly films herself as she takes a walk, finds the nearest trash bin, and tosses the phone there, before putting the lid over the box. end ID]

#i hope u dont take that as me being mad at u anon #honestly i could care less if ppl offended catholics #i just dont like spreading misinformation and once i started writing i couldnt stop #the videos are still amazing and spot on tho except for the first one #long post #discourse #catholicism tw

[sassy-socialist-sunday-school]

About this Blog

Hey there. I have had an idea for a long time, and it has only strengthened with time, that Christianity and religion more generally are a lot more socialist and forward thinking than many might suppose from the way their followers act. This is not to say that there are not outdated or problematic ideas within them, just that the piece of advice given by conservative religious figures to read your (insert holy book here) might not be the worst idea. As someone who was raised a Christian, educated in Christianity and still counts themself as a Christian I thought Christianity would be the place to start.

A bit of background on me. I am in my late 20s at the time of writing. I was born in Scotland and have lived there my whole life. I was raised in a Church of Scotland attending household, was baptized and attended till I was 11 or so. When I was 12 I started attending an evangelical church that started in my local town and throughout my teens was a creationist reasonably conservative Christian, though still questioning luckily. During these years I studied the bible hard and read it through multiple times. I listened to Christian rock music (and honestly still do, some of it is quite good, though a lot of what I listened to as a teen was not, but who can’t say that about their taste as a teenager), I helped at missions, I went to Christian summer camps, I was batized for a second time (this time by my own choice). I held a lot of beliefs that were sending me down a dangerous path. For example, my church homophobic. Not in the we should kill them all way, but in that condescending christian manner of love the sinner hate the sin, while they would commit a laundry list of other things listed as sin without really batting an eyelid. At the time I rationalized it. I knew gay people, they were in my class at school, I was good friends with one. They were just sinners like everyone else and just as deserving of Jesus’s forgivesness, but letting them get married, no way. This all really started to become a problem for me on a philosophical level when a friend of mine from church came out as gay. No one was actively hostile, but there was this sense of unease, of judgement. It didn’t sit right with me. It didn’t fully change my perspective until I felt that same judgement on me. This time it was over my playing Dungeons and Dragons of all things (Yes I am a nerd). They thought it was witchcraft and idolatry. I knew for a fact I was just playing make believe the way I always had, just this time with my friends. It took one of my church leaders recoiling from a copy of the 4th edition Player’s Handbook like Dracula from the cross to make me realise how ridiculous this was. And I understood. For me it was over a hobby, but for my friend it was who they were that was being rejected. Both of us were still tolerated as kicking us out would show up the church for what they were, but I can only imagine what they said to him based on what they said to my D&D group. “You can keep playing but don’t spread it to other members of the church”. Long story short I realised how close minded the church I went to was at long last. This made me question everything again, this time more closely. I didn’t lose my faith, but over the next few years I stopped believing in any kind of literal reading of the first few chapters of Genesis, I stopped going to church, I stopped having all of the really harmful ideas about my morality that had consumed me in my teenage years and filled me with self hatred. When I attended Uni to study Archaeology and Celtic Studies I learned about the strengths and weaknesses of ancient texts, especially ones coming from oral traditions. I learned a lot in uni and became much healthier and happier. I made lots of friends, read lots of books, fell in love, played lots of D&D and had lots of really good conversations. After uni I got a job in my field and got engaged, and theology took a bit of a backseat as I was busy working long hours of manual labour digging up castles and the like. A year into working I injured my back and had to change career. a few months later I got married. Within a year it had ended badly (Long story for another time, but if the person keeps trying to push getting engaged, marriage or having kids on you that is a red flag and you should have a good think about if the relationship is going where you want it to). I moved in with my parents, stayed there for a while then moved back out. My back injury which never fully healed got worse and I have spent most of the last year on extended sick leave. While already on the left for some time, during this period I shot sharply left. But I found my faith didn’t fit in that well in lefty circles, and I can see why, but I don’t think it has to be that way. Once again few people were actively hostile, but I felt that same judgement, real or imagined. This brings us to today. It is 5am ish, I wanted to go to sleep hours ago as I have things to do tomorrow but here I am creating a Tumblr page about how the bible can be socialist too. TLDR Raised Christian, jumped to the left, is making a blog instead of sleeping.

About this page My plan is to work through the bible, (I will use the King James version as I have been assured it is the most “accurate” to the original many times in my life and I have a love of ancient texts) and I will analyse each chapter and say which bits I would highlight, which bits I would keep and why, and which bits I think are problematic or are likely not the word of any God I would want to be associated with (Yes I know, heresy and all that. If you have a problem with people destroying the word of god take it up with Moses, he did break the literal words of God afterall and he seems to get a pass, I at least will be giving God the excuse of thousands of years of copying, being written down long after or people trying to justify themselves after they did something bad. You know, classic problems all ancient texts have from Plato to Beowulf). There may be chunks of the old testament I do in larger pieces simply because they are very dry and I won’t have that much new to say about the 5th time God tells Moses the exact measurements for his temple curtains (you think I am joking) but I will try and be thorough. I fully reserve the write to jump forward to when I have something interesting to say again or to whatever is of particular interest to me at the time. I may also cover other religions, philosophy or pop culture as and when I see something that catches my eye, but I will try and keep regular updates for our main progression though the Bible. I will always copy the full text I am studying at the start of the post and will give links to the online version I am using so you can check I am not changing anything it says prior to analysis. Also of note, Before making this page I looked up socialist sunday school briefly and there is a movement named this that from my brief read taught/teaches socialism to children in the UK. I am not associated with them but loved the name, hence why I will now try and be Sassy. I would have added student to the end of it as well, but I ran into Tumblr’s character limit for names. If you have any questions, or you wish to discuss a point with me feel free to post on my Questions and Counter Arguments section and I will try and answer, but no promises. If all you want to do is scream into the void I’d rather you did it on a mountaintop or something instead of doing it on my page, but I am sure someone will anyway.

I will try and get the first proper post up in the next few days. Till then everyone stay safe and get ready to have a crack at Genesis Chapter 1, there are obviously no problems here at all hahaha................

#first post #backstory

[whimsical-ness]

Jackpot | Sehun

◇ Link to Masterlist

◇ Genre: What Happens In Vegas! AU, More Love/Hate (oops)

◇ Summary: A night of drunken fun in Vegas leads to you accidentally getting married to a tall, smirky stranger named Oh Sehun. Things get even more complicated when you hit a $2 million jackpot—neither of you can keep your share of the money unless you try and make the marriage work. 

◇ Word Count: 4.7k

“Promise me you aren’t going to think about anything this weekend,” said your best friend Nat sternly, blocking the way into your hotel room with her outstretched arm. You rolled your eyes. 

“I’m serious, Y/N. We didn’t come all the way to Vegas to have you be uptight and stressed out. We’re here to have fun, got it?” You laughed at the desperation in her voice. “Okay, okay Nat. Promise. No thinking about work, no thinking about him,” you said. 

Nat sighed in relief, handing you the room pass with a wink. “Then let’s go get ready for a wild night.”

“I’m taking the shower first,” you called, striding into the bathroom. You undressed and stepped into the hot shower with a sigh, letting the water wash away your worries.

You had a lot of worries.

The biggest one was, probably, that your boyfriend of a year had cheated on you, a fact you had found out just last week. On top of that, your boss was being a complete asshole at work, and had relentlessly piled work up on your already tired shoulders. You had no time to even breathe.

Nat had noticed that you were basically on the verge of a nervous meltdown, and so had insisted on taking this spontaneous trip to Vegas for the weekend to lift your spirits. And you were determined to let your hair down, for just once.

You were pulled from your thoughts as you heard Nat scream. “Shit, Nat, what’s wrong?” you yelled, hurriedly wrapping a towel around your body. 

You burst out of the bathroom, brandishing your curling iron as a weapon. Your mouth dropped as you saw Nat tackling a man onto the bed. “What the hell?”

You nearly jumped out of your skin as you heard someone approach you from behind. It was another man, and this time, you screamed, pushing him away. “For fucks’ sake. Leave him alone, what are you doing?” he yelled at Nat.

“Who the hell are you and what are you doing in our room?” you said defensively, pulling your towel tighter around yourself. 

“Your room? This is ours!” he said, running his hand through his hair. Nat crossed her arms across her chest. “Why the fuck would the hotel give us the same room?” “I don’t know, lady. But I think I’m going to go find out before you murder me,” the shorter man said, rolling his eyes, scrambling off the bed from Nat’s wrath.

Turns out, your hotel had somehow double booked your room. But with some sweet-talking—courtesy of the taller guy—the manager agreed to let you stay in the penthouse suite as an apology. He even handed you VIP passes to all of the city’s hot spots. 

The tall, dark-haired man smirked at your evident awe. “You girls are welcome. Thanks to us, you are now about to have the night of your lives.”

As you soon found out, his name was Sehun, while his shorter friend was called Junmyeon. 

They seemed like a whole bunch of trouble and bad decisions. Which was, frankly, just what you needed. Plus, who would be stupid enough to give up those free VIP passes?

And so that night, you and Nat found yourselves having the time of your lives with two strangers you’d met just that afternoon.

You were chauffeured to casino after casino in a sleek black limo, had dinner in a Michelin star restaurant—and got more drunk than you ever had in your entire life.

You hadn’t meant to. Really. But you hadn’t anticipated Oh Sehun.

“What are you doing in Vegas?” you asked him. “I got fired,” he replied, throwing back his head as he swallowed a shot. “What about you?” 

“My boyfriend cheated on me,” you said, shrugging, staring out at the view in front of you. Rooftop access at one of the city’s most luxurious hotels was now something to tick off your bucket list. All thanks to a room mishap.

“Okay, we’re going to need more drinks,” said Sehun, and waved over a waiter. You grinned back as he clinked his glass to yours. Over the course of the next few hours to found yourself pouring out all of your stress to him, while he did the same, telling you nearly his entire life story. 

Oh Sehun was almost the complete opposite of you. He was arrogant, irresponsible, and seemed to think he had no faults.

You, on the other hand, were dedicated, hard-working, and (even though you never admitted it) uptight as hell. It was strange how quickly you opened up to a stranger who was so different from you. 

The night was a blur of loud music, money, and alcohol. You let loose, letting the pulsing music in the club flow through your veins, along with the ridiculous amount of alcohol you’d consumed. You found yourself pressed up against Sehun on more than a few occasions, his flushed face dangerously close to yours. 

“You know,” you yelled over the pounding bass. “It’s funny how connected I feel to you, even though we like, just met.” Sehun grinned. “Don’t get me wrong,” you continued, linking your arms around his neck to pull him closer. “You’re probably the last person on the planet whom I would ever sleep with.”

Sehun’s eyes were dark as he whispered, his lips brushing against your ear. “The feeling’s mutual.” “Good,” you said loudly, but the breath hitched in your throat as his hands found your hips, your bodies moving together against the rhythm. 

And then he was laughing, and you were laughing, and he was too close to you for you to be able to think straight. His lips met yours, and as you tasted the alcohol on his breath, you let go of the last bit of sobriety and let the night envelope you with its madness.

You woke up with your head throbbing. You groaned and turned over, clutching the duvet closer. You realized with a start that you were completely naked. 

 The previous night’s events flooded through your muddled mind, and you bit your lip as you remembered tumbling onto the bed with Sehun. 

“Shit,” you muttered. You sat up and pushed your hair back. Something cool touched your cheek as your fingers brushed past your face. You did a double take as you took in the ring sitting gold and pretty on your finger. 

The ring.

“No no no. Oh god please no. This is not happening.” Oh but it was. Because as you glanced at the mirror in front of the bed, you read the post-it note stuck on it. 

Morning, wifey. We’re at the buffet - Sehun

Fuck.

“Was there any part of the night that you thought, ‘Hey, it’s probably a bad idea to let my drunk best friend marry a random guy?’” you hissed at Nat as you made your way to the table where Sehun and Junmyeon were. Nat just shrugged. “I threw up on Junmyeon. I had no idea what was happening.”

Worst best friend ever.

“I’m-uh-gonna go get some coffee,“ you said, making eye contact with Sehun as you neared the table. 

He caught the hint, and followed you as you made your way instead to one of the lottery machines casually placed right outside the breakfast buffet. “What even is this city,” you muttered, pulling out a quarter from your wallet.

“Good morning,” said Sehun nonchalantly. You smiled thinly. “Last night was…something,” he started. “You can say that again,” you said awkwardly. “You’re a lot of fun,” said Sehun. “I mean…the sex was—“

“Um, I’d rather not,” you cut him off, your face burning. “Right,” said Sehun clearing his throat. “Of course, we now have a tiny little problem of these rings..”

“Yeah, it’s hard to forget,” you said. “We need a divorce.”

For a moment Sehun just stared at you. “Did you just dump me?” You laughed awkwardly. “Well, we obviously hardly know each other—”

“No, no. Of course. Thank god you said it first,” said Sehun, looking relieved. You were slightly taken aback.  “Junmyeon says we need an annulment, not a divorce,” he continued.

You felt strangely annoyed. “Yeah, okay. Sure.”

Sehun let out a breath. “Phew. I’m glad that’s out of the way. Bullet dodged huh?” You raised an eyebrow. 

“I mean, look, I’m sorry. But you just seem like the type of girl who’s looking for a serious relationship, and I’m not…I’m definitely not that guy,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. 

You stared at him, your annoyance now flaring up.

“No offense, but you seem like a lot of work—” he broke off at the look on your face. “Ah, marriage is an outdated concept, right?” he said awkwardly.

“Yeah, so is immaturity,” you said, snorting. “Pull it together, dude. No wonder you got fired. No one wants an employee who runs away from the slightest problem.”

Sehun stared at you. “Excuse me? And this is coming from a basically robotic woman, who had to come all the way to Vegas and marry a stranger to realize what a mess her life is?”

You gaped at him. “You know what? I’ll send you a fucking email about the annulment. Have a nice day, asshole.”

“You too,” said Sehun, flicking the quarter out of your fingers. “Hey, we’ll always have Vegas right?” he said, and pushed the coin into the machine, pressing down the lever.

“That was mine,” you said scowling, and turned away to storm off. You stopped in your tracks as a loud buzz went off, accompanied by a horn sounding. You whipped around, only to see everyone cheering and yelling, because someone had just won the jackpot money from the machine.

$2,000,000. 

It took a minute for you process what was happening, until Sehun threw his hands up and yelled. “Holy fuck! I’m rich! I’m fucking rich!”

You stared as everyone surrounded him, cheering and congratulating him on his win, and the hotel manager handed him a massive cheque.

Junmyeon and Nat walked over to see what the commotion was about, and their jaws dropped as they saw Sehun standing there with his huge cheque, and equally huge smile on his face.

“That was my quarter,” you said in a daze.

You pushed your way through the throng of people and grabbed the corner of the cheque. Sehun dismissed you with a wave. “I’m the one who pulled the lever. So the money’s mine.”

“Not so fast, baby,” you said, smiling sweetly. “We’re married now, remember? What’s yours is mine.”

You felt a sense of triumph as Sehun’s face dropped with the realization. 

“What a lovely way to celebrate our first day of marriage, hm?”

“This is ridiculous,” muttered Sehun as the two of you exited the court back home a week later. It was by some strange coincidence that Sehun lived in the same town as you.

“Yeah, well, we don’t have a choice, do we? It’s either this and a million dollars each, or nothing,” you said, sighing. 

The judge had ruled that the two of you had to co-exist and attempt to make the ‘marriage’ work for 6 months before you could finalize the divorce. If either of you didn’t co-operate for that amount of time, the money would be tied up in litigation.

Sehun snorted. “We have to live together? And go to weekly counseling sessions? I can’t believe this is happening.”

You rolled your eyes. “This is obviously worse for me. I can’t imagine what your apartment is like.” “At least I have one. Where’s yours, I wonder? Oh, right, you lived with your cheating boyfriend. Sorry,” said Sehun meanly.

“6 months,” you said under your breath as you walked away. “I can do this.”

“See you tomorrow, wifey,” called Sehun sarcastically from behind you.

Just as you’d expected, Sehun’s apartment was a mess. His dirty laundry was lying pretty much everywhere, the bathroom looked as if it hadn’t been cleaned in weeks, and the refrigerator was stuffed with disgusting junk food.

“I can’t do this,” you moaned, as Nat helped you bring in your stuff. “Think about the 1 million dollars,” she reminded you.

Sehun sauntered out of his room, yawning. “Make yourself at home, sweetheart.”

“This is a pig sty,” you said.  It’s one thing if you like a guy and have to put up with stuff like this. But you, I don’t care for. So clean up.”

“Hey, if you have a problem with it, you clean up,” he said shrugging. 

So the rest of the day with was spent with you using anti-bacterial wipes and sprays, trying to make the place as accommodating as you possibly could. By the end of the evening, you were exhausted, and all you wanted to do was get a good night’s sleep. You washed up and made your way to where Sehun was lounging in the living room. 

“Which one of us is taking the couch?” you asked tiredly. Sehun glanced up at you. “I don’t mind. You can use the bedroom,” he said. “Thanks,” you said awkwardly. “Sweet dreams, then.”

And just like that, the first day co-existence was over. You weren’t sure how many more you could take.

Sure enough, after one week of living together, you were pretty sure you were going to go insane. 

Sehun did absolutely nothing the entire day, and seemingly was making no effort to even try and find another job. His logic was that in 6 months, he would be 1 million dollars richer and so didn’t need to work.

But you were still working your ass off at your job, and it pissed you off to come back to a messy apartment with Sehun lying about doing just about jackshit.

And when you told him so, he got annoyed and told you to mind your own business. There was no point in trying to talk to him about anything.

But the two of you put on the biggest show of your lives when you had to visit the marriage counselor. You held hands sweetly, called each other lovable nicknames, and tried your best to make it look like you were in love.

If the counselor thought it looked fake as hell, she didn’t say it. 

“You know, if one of you cheated on the other or something, won’t the innocent person get to keep all the money?” asked Nat a few weeks later.

You nearly choked on your coffee. “What did you just say?”

“I mean, think about it. The person who fucks up and ruins the marriage doesn’t get the money. If you could get Sehun to somehow ‘cheat’ on you…”

A lightbulb went off in your head. “Nat, I think you’re onto something here.” Nat smiled smugly. “What say we throw a little party?”

And so the following weekend, without telling Sehun, you invited a bunch—or not really bunch, more like all the girls you knew—over to the apartment. “Remember girls,” you whispered. “Do and try anything to get into his pants. I doubt it’ll be too difficult.”

You felt a little guilty for tricking him like this. But you’d had enough. 

And so it was with some sort of sickening satisfaction that you observed Sehun get surrounded by girls as soon as he appeared. He gaped at you. “What the fuck?”

“I just wanted to throw a party,” you said innocently. “I hope that’s okay.”

Sehun went red as a girl ran her hand down his chest. “I know what you’re trying to do,” he said, smiling. “And let me tell you, two can play at this game.”

You feigned ignorance and shrugged. “Have fun!”

But a half hour later, you realized you had underestimated him. Because not only did he manage to avoid making out with even one girl, but he also invited over his own friends.

His very hot friends.

Junmyeon was there, and so were a few others you’d never met. “Whoa, Sehun, this is your wife?” said one of them. “Dude, why the hell are you getting a divorce? She’s hot!”

You went red. Sehun coughed. “Shut up, Baekhyun,” said Junmyeon, smacking the guy who’d spoken in the arm.

This was going to be a long night.

It seemed as though Sehun had instructed his friends to do quite the opposite of what you’d asked your friends to do. Except for Baekhyun, the others avoided you every time you tried to talk to one of them.

You took an angry sip of your beer when the tall, cute one called Chanyeol politely excused himself out of a conversation with you. You locked eyes with Sehun from across the room and he smirked.

The party just got wilder and wilder. Soon enough, the music was blaring loud enough for you to get a headache, and you stumbled into the bathroom for some quiet.

To your surprise, Sehun was sitting there on the closed toilet seat. He raised his eyebrow as you came in.

“Tired already?”

“Not at all,” you lied. “But you must be. This must be so hard for you. Not being able to sleep with any of those girls even though you’re dying to? Go ahead, Sehun. Why don’t you just give in?”

Sehun laughed. “Do you really think I’m dumb enough to cheat on you?”

“I think it’s only a matter of time,” you replied. “Well, you’re wrong,” he said. “I can manage fine without chicks.”

You snorted. “Yeah, okay.”

“Don’t worry about me,” he said, standing up and walking over to you. “I’m a married man. And I am not screwing this thing up.” He was suddenly too close.

You stared up at him, unnerved at his proximity to you. His nose was almost touching yours. “Neither am I, Sehun,” you whispered. “I’m gonna go till the end of this.”

“Till death do us apart,” he said, his voice low. Your heart hammered in your chest.

“Not unless I kill you first.”

After that, it was war. The both of you tried everything possible to sabotage the other. 

Sehun shut your alarm off one day, and you couldn’t wake up in time for work. You fumed as you pulled the clothes over yourself in a hurry, not even realizing that Sehun walked right in on you changing.

“Nice grandma panties,” he observed. You threw a pillow at him.

“What happened to the lace ones you wore in Vegas? Those were nice,” he continued, unbothered by your rage.

“I’m saving those for a husband who isn’t a complete jerk,” you snapped. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to be extremely late to work thanks to you.”

“You’re welcome!” he called as you rushed out of the house.

As payback, you decided not to remind Sehun about the meeting with the counselor the next weekend. You sat there smugly as she shook her head at his ‘irresponsibility’. 

Sehun looked ready to murder when you went back home. “Real mature, Y/N.” You just shrugged. “Hey, it isn’t my job to remind you. If you really wanted to work on this marriage, you would’ve been there.”

The look on his face was worth everything.

But as the weeks went by, strangely enough, it soon began to feel more like fun than an annoyance. You felt as if you were going crazy. 

Because now you were getting used to him. You were just so used to having Sehun around all the time, that a small part of you was dreading when he would no longer be. 

You felt as though you would miss him, even his stupid pranks. He’d become some sort of a frenemy to you. Some nights, you’d just sit there and argue on the couch about what movie to watch, and he’d steal all your popcorn. Or you’d make a meal together, fighting but laughing all the while about what ingredients to use.

Once, when you were doubled up in pain from period cramps, he actually went out and got you some painkillers and a tub of ice cream, even though he grumbled about it all the while. 

The gesture touched you in a way you’d never imagined. But you were careful not to let Sehun know. There was no point, what with just a few months left of this arrangement. You would be going your two separate ways, each with a million dollars, and would never look back.

You hated to admit to yourself that it was going to hurt.

“It’s your birthday, babes. We’re going out,” said Nat, pulling you out of bed. You groaned. “I think I’ve had enough of your crazy ideas. I hope you realize that the last time I went out to party I got drunk and got married.”

“Sehun, would you please convince your wife to have a little fun on her birthday?” Nat called, ignoring you. Sehun appeared in the doorway. “I didn’t know it was your birthday,” he said. You rolled your eyes. “And the best husband award goes to..”

Sehun shrugged. “I know a great nightclub. Let’s go. You, me, Nat and Junmyeon. It’ll be like Vegas all over again.”

You bit your lip. “That’s exactly what I don’t want it to be like.”

But later that night, you were being dragged along anyway, in a tight black dress you hadn’t worn in ages. You must’ve imagined the way Sehun looked at you, his ears going slightly red at the tips.

You were frankly tired of loud music and alcohol. And so you sat at the bar while Nat when crazy on the dance floor, pulling Junmyeon along with her.

To your surprise, Sehun sat with you. “I don’t like this song,” he said simply. You hid a smile. When had he suddenly got so considerate?

You stirred your mocktail. “Weird, isn’t it? In a month or so we won’t be married anymore.” The words were out of your mouth before you could stop them.

Sehun was silent for a few minutes, and you almost wished you hadn’t said anything. 

“Yeah, weird. But we can keep in touch,” he said finally. You nodded awkwardly. “I guess.”

You suddenly felt as though a heavy weight was settling over your chest. The flashing lights and music ringing in your ears were all at once overwhelming.

You stood up abruptly. “I’m gonna go get some air.” You didn’t wait to hear his response, quickly making your way out of the club, pushing through the crowd of people.

Once outside, you took a couple of deep breaths. You had to pull it together. There was no way in hell you were suddenly getting feelings for Sehun. You were not going to let it happen. 

“Y/N?”

You turned at the mention of your name. And felt your whole body freeze.

It was him. The man you’d vowed never to see ever again. The man you’d wasted a year of your life with, only to have him break your heart. You automatically took a step back.

He held his arms up defensively. “I just want to talk.” “I don’t want to hear anything you have to say,” you spat. “You don’t get to fuck other girls and then expect me believe anything you say.”

“Whoa. It was one girl. And it was an accident. You know that. I was stressed out, drunk—”

You gaped at him. “So? I’ve been stressed too, asshole. That didn’t mean I cheated on you. You’re pathetic.”

“I know, and I’m sorry. I just-I saw you here and everything came back to me. Seeing you looking so good, it just—I want you back,” he said, taking a step towards you, grabbing your hand.

You tried to snatch away from his grip. “Let go of me.” 

“Not until you let me make it up to you,” he said, pulling you closer. You shoved him in the chest, but he didn’t budge. You felt sudden fear wash over you. You just wanted to get away from him and his disgusting touch. 

And then suddenly, he was being pulled away from you by someone strong, stumbling backward. Your eyes widened as you saw who it was. “What the fuck are you doing?” asked Sehun calmly, looking at him levelly in the eye.

Your ex-boyfriend roughly pulled his arm away. “Why the fuck do you care?” he sneered. “Did he hurt you?” asked Sehun, looking at you. You shook your head, swallowing. 

Your ex stared at you. “Who is this guy, Y/N?” Before you could reply, Sehun spoke. “I’m her husband,” he said, smiling. “So you better get the fuck away from her.”

He gaped at Sehun. And then at you. And then he laughed. “This is a joke, right? You’re telling me you left me and then immediately found this guy to fuck and marry? Shit, Y/N. I underestimated you. I didn’t think you were such a slu—”

He was cut off by Sehun punching him square in the jaw. “Oh my god, Sehun, stop!” you yelled, grabbing him to pull him back. Your ex-boyfriend’s eyes were alive in rage as he swung forward, aiming for Sehun’s face, but he ducked in time.

Just then, as if a godsend, Junmyeon ran out of the club, panting. “Hey, hey! Break it up, man,” he said, quickly stepping between the two men. Sehun’s face was calm, like it always was, but you could see the silent fury in his eyes.

Your ex spat on the ground, his lip bleeding. “You’re fucking crazy. All of you.” “Get lost,” you said in a low voice. “I mean it. I don’t want to ever see you again.” 

And then you were pulling Sehun with you and walking away, Junmyeon following behind.

You winced as Sehun slammed the door of the apartment shut. “What a fucking asshole,” he muttered, throwing himself onto the couch. 

“Thanks for sticking up for me back there,” you said, awkwardly sitting down next to him. He rolled his eyes. “You don’t need to thank me. It was just my first instinct. To protect you.”

You felt a blush creep up onto your cheeks. To your astonishment, Sehun also went red, as if he was surprised at his words.

“Look, I know this is probably going to sound really strange, but I don’t think I want this divorce any more,” he blurted.

You stared at him in shock. “What do you mean?”

“I mean I think I want to stay married. To you,” he said, turning away in embarrassment. “But why?” you asked, bewildered. Was there a chance...?

“I like you, okay?” said Sehun abruptly. “I like annoying you, and I like fighting with you, and I like sitting here doing nothing with you. This sounds cheesy as fuck, but it’s true. Yo-you make me happy. Even though I know I probably don’t show it at all.”

You started to smile. “I don’t want the divorce either. I want to try and make this work. Our marriage is probably the most unconventional and crazy thing that has ever happened in my incredibly boring life so far. I never realized how much I needed someone like you, Sehun.”

He started to laugh. “I seriously did not think it would come to this. What the hell do we tell the court now?”

“That we somehow fell in love over 6 months and decided to stay together?” you suggested. Sehun raised an eyebrow. “Did you just say the L-word?”

“Maybe,” you said, feeling dangerous as you scooted closer to him. He tilted his head slightly, his lips inches from yours.

“I don’t know how long I’ve held back,” he murmured, and then his lips were on yours, and your heart was alive.

When you pulled away from the kiss, breathless, you felt as though every nerve in your body was on fire. “Well, what do you want to do with 2 million dollars?” you asked, dazed. Sehun smirked. “Late honeymoon?” You giggled. “We really won the jackpot, didn’t we?”

“I know I did,” said Sehun. “I won you.”

You burst out laughing. “Dude, if you don’t stop being so sappy I might have to re-think that divorce.”

Sehun just grinned. 

“I guess what happens in Vegas doesn’t really stay in Vegas, does it?”

A/N: I really really hoped you liked it as much as I loved writing it! Seriously, this was so much fun to imagine! Please do send me your thoughts :)

#exo #exo scenario #exo scenarios #exo fanfiction #sehun scenario #sehun scenarios #sehun fanfiction #exo reactions #sehun imagine #kpop scenarios #kpop fanfiction #baekhyun scenarios #yixing scenarios #chanyeol scenarios #suho scenarios #chen scenarios #kai scenarios #kyungso scenarios #xiumin scenarios #exo fluff #exo au #sehun fluff #oh sehun #oh sehun scenarios #kpop reactions

[recentanimenews]

The Genius Prince’s Guide to Raising a Nation Out of Debt (Hey, How About Treason?), Vol. 5

By Toru Taba and Falmaro. Released in Japan as “Tensai Ouji no Akaji Kokka Saisei Jutsu ~Sou da, Baikoku Shiyou~” by GA Bunko. Released in North America by Yen On. Translated by Jessica Lange.

This volume was always going to have trouble living up to the high point of the previous one, and it does. It’s a very short light novel, coming out at not even 160 pages. And that, I think, is the problem – this volume is too rushed, leaving everything sort of half-baked. The joy of these books is seeing Wein come up with plans, wriggle around as they’re upended by a surprise disaster, and then come up with even more clever plans. but you need time for each of those things to simmer, and we don’t get that here. There’s also very little of Falanya, who was the star of the fourth book, and also a minimal amount of romantic tension between Wein and Ninym. There’s nothing wrong with the book, it’s reasonably fun to read, and gets exciting a few times. But the reader is left with the feeling that “that could have been better”.

Natra has been doing very well for itself under Wein’s leadership… VERY well, and has started to attract attention to itself, both good and bad. It also has to worry about Marden, its recent acquisition, which is far better located than Natra itself, and could easily wind up surpassing Natra itself. They need more allies. So he turns to the nations beyond Marden, Soljest (which is run by Gruyere, the very obese Holy Elite we briefly saw in Book Three, and Delunio, which is basically being ruled by its slimy Prime Minister. Wein heads to Marden, expecting Zenovia to try to solve Marden’s problems by a marriage proposal, which he plans to turn down, and then goes to Soljest, where he ends up suggesting that the two nations ally themselves to each other, something Gruyere quickly agrees to. And then… well, everything falls apart for Wein.

By now, the strengths and weaknesses of this series are pretty well locked in. Sadly, I find the art a weakness, as it’s frequently just too goofy for my tastes, and also leans into fanservice when it shouldn’t (there is a low-angle shot of Zenovia sleeping on her tits at a desk that should be taken out back and shot). The plotting and scheming is fun, both when Wein is being brutally clever and also when he’s being out-thought, and I really liked the idea that Zenovia *is* in love with him but refuses to marry him if she’s not his equal at being a clever person. Gruyere is also a lot of fun, and I did like the introduction of his daughter, who appears to be there mostly so that she can be a rival to Falanya in future books. But… everything happened too fast. The battles, the scheming, the dialogue, even the dumb goofy comedy. Ninym screws up Wein’s hair in an amusing way! Why was nothing done with that?

The series is still worth reading, and I look forward to the next book, but this one just feels… half-baked.

By: Sean Gaffney

#Anime #News #Manga Bookshelf

[noble-royalty]

Drafty draft

The air outside was warm and pleasant, even gentle at some extent. Eva breathed deeply, swinging her legs in the air rather childishly. From the very top of Wei Company’s building the glimmering city of her teenage years looked almost pitiful. It couldn’t compare to the beauty of Oban, nor was it as breathtaking as the Holy City of Dol Eva had had the luck to visit. Just a regular human city, like any other on Earth. Skyscrapers, shinning lights, cars and a few lone, scrappy buildings. Eva laughed to herself, taking some more sips of the beer that rested in her right hand. Somehow, such sentimental thoughts always seemed to fill her mind whenever she found time to come here. This rooftop was very similar to the one she had spent time on at Stern. Not as if Eva wanted to remember the place, but the habit of sitting on roofs and just enjoying the view was something she no longer could get rid of. In fact, initially Eva had planned to hang out with some co-workers at the bar, but soon found herself bored of their company. Mostly because the majority of them had chosen to talk about some love troubles, which only made Eva roll her eyes. It felt like the only topic men could discuss under the influence of alcohol. Eva couldn’t blame them, though. They lived simple lives, following the common, habitual path. She, on the other hand, had been flying across the whole galaxy and kicking Crogs out of the invaded planets. Of course, not by herself. Her long-known, close friends had been helping her. Aikka was one of them.

 Eva’s lips curled into a wide grin. She used to be literally crazy about him. There were many reasons any woman would. Aikka’s sole manners was something. Not to mention, that affectionate smile of his could really make one’s head spin. Lastly, Aikka was undeniably handsome. Possibly even more handsome than all the males she had seen in the life. Nevertheless, it didn’t change the fact Aikka was engaged to a Nourasian princess from a wealthy family. It had been arranged marriage, sure, but back in the day it had crushed all of her teenage dreams and hopes for something more than a good friendship with him. Eva let herself muse about the delicate topic a bit, before focusing on the drink. There was really no use pondering about what could have been. She was glad they had at least stayed in touch and remained great pals. (Eva could even call Aikka her best friend at this point). Suddenly the door behind her cracked and a familiar figure of the prince appeared in her sight. The famous saying worked just fine. Eva had to think about him, and here he was.

“Do you mind if I join you?” Aikka enquired, having approached the spot where Eva was currently sitting all by herself. He had been seeking her company for a while since they returned. As polite and courteous as ever. Eva moved to the side, slapping her hand against the cold surface as an invitation. There was more than enough space for the two of them. “Nah, I don’t mind, make yourself comfortable,” she flashed him a friendly smile. While Eva honestly wondered how in the world he had managed to figure out her whereabouts, his company didn’t bother her in the slightest. She felt fully comfortable around Aikka (despite formerly being in love with him) and it was a mutual feeling. “It had been quite a tiresome day I must say. Although looking at you one wouldn’t say you just returned from a dangerous mission,” he teased, taking notice of the empty beer cane next to her. In fact, there was a whole package behind her, but Aikka couldn’t see it.

 He tended to refrain from drinking any alcohol, so, unlike Eva, his hands were almost completely empty (not counting the little bottle of water he had taken from the space ship). “I’ll take it as a compliment, my dear prince,” Eva winked, giving his shoulder a nudge, “C’mon, wash that serious expression off your face and drink with me.” Having said that, Eva threw him one of the canes in a smooth movement. Aikka caught it. “You know more than anyone that I don’t drink Eva...” Aikka hesitated, observing the colorful design. “But if you wish for it so much, I will be glad to comply with your request.” He opened the cane with a characteristic ‘whoosh’ sound and let himself try it. A grimace of dislike touched the royal features. The taste was quite bitter and not something Aikka was used to drinking. He preferred far sweeter beverages, mostly made from specific fruits that grew on Nourasia during the sunny months. Nevertheless, Aikka made another sip, hoping it would get better. Eva was watching the whole process with fascination. “Oh, that’s my Aikka! Taking challenges and being a real man,” Eva teased him back, curling one arm around his neck in a friendly manner a moment later. To think that she was too shy to even hold his hand at Oban. Funny, how the things have changed since then.

 Aikka didn’t move, used to such physical contact from her side. Yes, he was officially a married man, but he felt absolutely nothing towards the Nourasian princess chosen by the Court. He even refrained from touching her in their private time. With Eva, on the other hand, he himself desired to be near her as much as possible, even if their interaction never went beyond the friendship line. (At least he believed so). The brief moment of silence didn’t last long though, broken by a sonorous laughter. Blinking in confusion, Aikka looked at Eva. His hand with a cane stopped a few centimeters away from the mouth (He had actually decided to drink it to the very end not to offend her.) “Pardon me. Have I said something funny?” Aikka was a bit taken aback by the sudden change. “No, I mean- Just before you came I was thinking about how I used to have this huge crush on you,” she laughed, waving her hand in the air. The light blush touched Eva’s cheeks, “Like I was this fifteen-year-old teenager, you know, and then you appeared out of nowhere so dashing and handsome like a prince charming, well, yes, you are a prince, I mean I was bewitched by you and all this. Typical teenager behavior I still feel a bit ashamed of…”

Aikka’s brows knitted, he wasn’t quite getting what exactly she meant by ‘crush’. Nor was he realizing the reason for Eva’s loud laughter. Having noticed the incomprehension of her companion, Eva only laughed more, scratching the back of her neck. “Ahah, sorry, sometimes I forget you don’t know the slang- I mean, how you say that, I was in love with you, like romantic attraction of sorts. Teenagers, they are so sentimental. I had to tell you sooner, but yeah, ha-ha, kind of how it is,” she attempted to explain, feeling slightly embarrassed. A dreadful silence established between them for a few seconds. And then Aikka choked, coughing loudly. Eva froze, observing how the prince’s dark skin turned almost purple. The great amount of beer got spit on the blue spacesuit, dirtying it with large brown stains. Dashing and handsome, huh? Eva almost regretted blurting such a thing out. “Hey, Aikka, are you okay?” Eva asked, crooking the head to the side in slight bewilderment. Aikka didn’t respond, attempting to cover up his embarrassment. The realization hit him so hard that the whole world seemed to stop for a while. She used to find him romantically attractive. Memories of Oban and Alwas flashed in front of his eyes. Everything fell into place - her red face, the worry and those sincere smiles. It wasn’t just simple friendliness as Aikka had thought. Eva, the woman he had and still viewed as a strong, fierce and extremely attractive one had actually harbored such feelings for him. It wasn’t a dream was it?

“Hey, don’t get worked up because of it, it’s not like you liked me this way, so...” Eva gave him another light nudge, trying to ease the mood (Oh dear, had she just made it awkward?). “And what if I did?” Aikka’s voice was quiet, almost inaudible, as he rubbed his face with hands. The large blush hadn’t disappeared at all, however. “You mean...” Eva said, stunned. ”You mean that you liked me too? Like you viewed me as a possible girlfriend?” Aikka gave a short, hesitant nod instead of an answer. “Oh wow, I feel flattered- What a funny coincidence,” Eva laughed again, taking a handkerchief from the pocket and handling it to him. “Here, wipe your face, you have beer everywhere.” Truly, Eva didn’t know what to do with this information. It felt pleasant to know that her feelings hadn’t been one-sided in the end, but still it barely changed a thing. She merely hoped that her little unintended confession wouldn’t put an end to their friendship. (Especially to this special feeling of comfort she had around Aikka). Although…maybe teasing him a bit isn’t that much of a bad idea, after all? It could be fun. “I am sorry, I just- I was sure you have never viewed me this way,” Aikka breathed out huskily, cleaning his suit and face from the sticky liquid. Having finished the procedure, he hesitatingly turned around to give the handkerchief back. “Thank you.”

Suddenly Eva’s phone rang, strident sound making both of them flinch. Not without a grumble, Eva flipped it open to see Don Wei’s face on the flashy screen. She didn’t even have to answer to know that her father required her immediate presence. “Seems like I have to go, there is some urgent stuff needing my help,” Eva sighed, then leaned closer to Aikka and, much to his shock, gave him a soft, yet long peck on the lips. “See you later tonight, my prince,” she smirked, mischief sparkling in the eyes for a brief moment. (His face was priceless. It was worth giving him her first kiss). Aikka’s face turned even redder, as Eva was walking away. His fingers touched the lips in some daze. Did she just kiss me? Aikka groaned, feelings as if his head was about to burst. He was confused with this sudden romantic affection. Was she just joking around? “Eva, please, don’t do such confusing things. Otherwise, I may fall for you all over again…” Yet those quiet murmurs didn’t reach her and merely dissolved in the evening air.

[downthatrabbitholewego]

April 2017

This is a compilation of fics that I've read/re-read over the past month. Faves get a star ( ★ ). There is also a separate fic rec page for my favorites here and a fic rec sorter here, if you'd like to check those out. :)

MONTH: April, 2017 | (older lists)

▶▶ A Neutrino Walks Through a Bar by Moku Teen And Up | 45,261w Stiles had become the most popular matchmaker of Beacon Hills in less than a year. And he really didn't know how that had happened.

▶▶ A Not So Easy Arrangement by hazelandglasz Explicit | 5,314w AU where Derek's still the Alpha, and Erica and Boyd aren't dead. Stiles and Derek have to fake-date because of werewolf reasons, but it shouldn't be too hard because they're already having sex together? And they're great friends? Shouldn't be too hard, Stile thinks, but he's been pining away, and he was actually gonna ask out Derek for real, because he kinda loves him, but now he just feels weird. And he's still finding ways to fall in love with Derek.

▶▶ accidentally? by bibliosexual Mature | 3,683w BOSS: "know why I called you in here?" ME: "because I accidentally sent you a dick pic" BOSS [stops pouring 2 glasses of wine]: "accidentally?" yup. Or, in which Derek receives a surprising email one morning.

▶▶ all stories deserve an end by bleep0bleep Teen And Up | 2,351w No one hardly ever comes up to this area of the forest, especially with the rumors of the "mad wizard." Stiles encourages the rumor, because it means people leave him alone. It's a good, solitary existence as long as Stiles pretends the aching loneliness in his heart isn't there.

▶▶ anything, anything by drunktuesdays Explicit | 5,242w Prompt: Stiles wakes up in Derek's bed in a world where they’re married now, and Derek keeps leaving the room every time he tries to have a conversation about how this happened, since they weren't even dating.

▶▶ Bones Straining Under the Weight by weathervaanes ★ Explicit | 15,645w One of Stiles' favorite things about life is Derek Hale's food blog. He never expects to meet the man in person.

▶▶ But, Doctor! by stilinskisparkles ★ Mature | 30,269w "We had to splint a girl's leg in a ditch," Scott says excitedly. "Bro, you sound way too happy about that," Stiles complains, opening up his bag and pulling out a Twinkie. Derek removes it from his hand silently and replaces it with an apple. Stiles scowls at him for a second then bites into it, regardless. Derek sits back and lets the group discuss the merits of dramatic lifesaving feats for winning over the ladies. Scott is convinced it'll help impress Allison; Isaac thinks Scott’s a loser. Stiles— Stiles is falling asleep on Derek's shoulder.

▶▶ First Impressions Are Overrated by Leslie_Knope Teen And Up | 14,634w In Stiles' defense, he didn't deliberately ram his grocery cart into the (evidently precarious) pyramid of oranges.

▶▶ I Call You Names Because I Love You by tylerfucklin (Deshonanana) Mature | 13,025w Years of touring with Stiles would never have prepared Derek for the day his beloved techie fell in love with someone else.

▶▶ I Do Do You? by Captain_Loki ★ Explicit | 6,540w Stiles and Derek wake up hung over and married in a hotel room in Las Vegas. It wouldn't be so bad if the year before their relationship hadn't fallen apart.

▶▶ Misguided Ghosts by Nina_shaffer N/A | 13,645w Stiles was hoping that his summer before his senior year would be uneventful but no the supernatural hierarchies can't leave Beacon Hills alone, can they? Stiles gets lead into the woods by a ghost wolf but what's the most a ghost can do, a lot apparently because here he is, 18-year-old Stiles, in the friggin past. What's the first rule of time travel? Don't change the past. Stiles never was one to follow the rules.

▶▶ my boyfriend, the ex-spy. by matildajones Teen And Up | 6,453w Derek tries to live a normal life... it's hard when his boyfriend used to travel around the world shooting the bad guys.

▶▶ Not An Order by LadyDrace Teen And Up | 2,359w Prince Stiles of Beacon is about to get engaged to the princess of Reyes. Derek is determined to be supportive. Maybe a little too determined.

▶▶ Once Again, In a Little While by adeepeningdig General | 4,148w Parrish is holding the infant like a fullback carrying the football, tight and close to his body, as if he's afraid someone's going to strip it away from him at any moment. "Sir," he whispers, "this baby is running hot." "So call the paramedics, get Sally on the line. For heaven's sake, Parrish, this baby needs a hospital, not the sheriff" The baby is hot to the touch but his pale eyes, when they blink open, are clear and he's not flushed like a feverish infant would be. "No," Parrish hisses, "I mean this baby is running hot. I don't think he's human." John looks at the priest, still standing in the aisle, hunched in concern. He looks at the baby in his duck onesie and little yellow hat. "Oh, fuck," he says.

▶▶ Possibili(tea) by dragon_temeraire Teen And Up | 1,096w Stiles might have a crush on his co-worker, who always brews him amazing tea.

▶▶ Put Down in Words by paintedrecs ★ Mature | 203,777w When Stiles signed up for Dr. Hale's intro to history class, he had two goals: knock out the credits his advisor was bugging him to complete before he graduated, and spend a few hours a week daydreaming about his sexy professor's salt and pepper beard. Derek, a few months away from turning forty and not sure when his life had started feeling so damn lonely, had never encountered someone like Stiles before. Bright-eyed, sharp-tongued, determined to throw Derek's carefully cultivated world into disarray... and absolutely the last person Derek should be falling in love with.

▶▶ Satisfactory Compromises by TroubleIWant ★ Mature | 17,727w Stiles is basically doing fine. He's surviving, anyways. So what if it's a struggle to get out of bed most days? Back in high school, everything about the supernatural had seemed edgy and romantic and exhilarating, but after seeing everything he has, wanting to go back to ignorance is only natural. Only then Derek comes back to Beacon Hills and says he's in love with him, and everything changes. For the worse.

▶▶ Shake my ash to the wind by rufflefeather Explicit | 4,308w Kissing Stiles is like a breeze through an open window that chases away a smell of fire that never leaves. The first time he tastes surprised and says, Holy shit while his fingers find lips that probably sting a little from Derek's stubble. It makes Derek laugh and Stiles' eyes go wide and pleased as if that's a bigger surprise than the kiss.

▶▶ Some Strings Attached by TroubleIWant N/A | 3,324w Prompt: I just saw you go upstairs with someone else and I know we're only fuck buddies but I’m gonna go punch them in the face.

▶▶ something just like this by allhalethekings General | 10,889w "Hey, did Peter talk to you yet about your new song?" He scrunches his forehead, fingers twitching towards the laptop subconsciously. "No? Why should he? I already told him it shouldn't be on the market." Cora snorts. "It's cute you thought that would work. He already spoke to Jackson Whittemore about it." Derek's stomach sinks. This song is private and to find out that it might be in the hands of someone like Jackson Whittemore? Jackson fucking Whittemore? His contempt for them must have shown on his face because Cora smirks. She's a bitch like that. "Stiles wants that song so Peter already set up a meeting. Have fun!" What the actual fuck. "What the fuck is a Stiles?" Derek asks helplessly.

▶▶ The Gentleman And The Fox by bleep0bleep, Inkforwords Explicit | 15,707w Derek doesn't expect much from his arranged marriage. When his inattentive husband, Lord Stiles Stilinski, tells him he's free to look for a lover, he doesn't know where to start, until a dashing bandit named the Red Fox catches his eye.

▶▶ The One Where They Adopt a Selkie by mikkimouse ★ Teen And Up | 7,737w "That's a kid," Stiles said. Derek growled. "It's a selkie." "It's a selkie kid," Stiles pointed out, because really, they did not need to be arguing semantics right now. "Do selkies just go around leaving their kids sleeping in caves on the beach?"

▶▶ The Payoff Pitch by Leslie_Knope ★ Explicit | 83,974w Derek is on the cusp of his second season with the LA Dodgers, and as the reigning runner-up Rookie of the Year, the pressure’s on him to become the team's star pitcher and lead them to the playoffs for the first time in five years. He's trying to deal with the burden of expectations and really has zero desire to spend any extra time or energy on anything that isn't baseball. But then he meets Stiles.

▶▶ The Second Coming (of Werewolf Jesus) by lupinus, uraneia [Note: Restricted. AO3 account is required.] Explicit | 40,104w Stiles was enjoying his senior year until his crazy English teacher decided he made the best candidate to gestate Derek's kid. Now Stiles is a seventeen-year-old pregnant dude and he and Derek have to figure their shit out, because in nine months they are going to be tied together for the rest of their lives.

▶▶ This Space Is For You by matildajones Teen And Up | 3,908w Derek is a lonely, angry man, living in the middle of nowhere.

▶▶ We Den Our Hearts Here by LadyLade Teen And Up | 1,921w Somehow, having a pack of wolf pups has made Derek's life easier.

▶▶ Untitled Tumblr Ficlet by bibliosexxual Teen And Up | 1,721w Derek has played host to Stiles a number of times, usually when Stiles has had too many beers after poker night, but he’s never let Stiles stay over for more than one night. Not that Stiles has ever asked. This ends up being a lot more than one night.

- - - - -

#read fics list #sterek fics #sterek fanfiction #sterek #2017

[warmau]

your neighbor aus are so cute!! can you do jun, jeonghan, and hansol please??

aww thank you!! sure, ill also add in dino to complete the neighbor!17 series ~

joshua, mingyu & seungkwan can be found (here) ~wonwoo, hoshi & seungcheol can be found (here) ~ seokmin, woozi & minghao can be found (here) !~ 

Jun

you’re pretty sure you saw him in a movie once, but you’re not a hundred percent sure. everyone in the building is sure they’ve seen him on tv,,,,but was it a movie? a commercial? a show? no one ever truly finds out,,,,,

sometimes every1 is like “he looks too rich to be living here”

but tbh jun loves the attention like he won’t admit it outloud but please,,,,,,,he probably poses in the elevator ever so subtly and everyone is like oh my look at how handsome and in jun’s head he’s like ‘mhm this is my angle take it all in, i look great from a 45 degree tilt to the left’

jun is doing the most basically 

model walks in his plaid pajama bottoms and flip flops, bends and snaps when he throws out the garbage. you will nEVER catch him off guard

his apartment is pretty cool though because jun is the type to splurge. so like big TV,,,expensive blankets,,,,,,,probably one of those glass coffee tables that are super fancy and jun doesn’t even know he has expensive tastes it’s just like second nature to him 

oh and he has mirrors

like a lot of them

when will any of us reach this level of Self Confidence t b h

and you’re like pretty familiar with jun because photography is your hobby and he’s always asking you if you guys bump into each other if you can ever help him take some headshots since he wants to try out for modeling

like you always agree but halfheartedly because you’re not sure if you want to work with someone,,,,,,,,,,as high maintenance as he seems

but one day you get caught by jun coming back from the park where you took some photos and he’s like are you free now??? and you’re like mIGht as well get it over with,,,,,,,,,

so you tell him yes and that he should come over since you have some lighting equipment @ your place

and jun,,,,you notice as you’re setting up is a little fidgety. like he keeps looking at his reflection in his phone and biting back his lip and you’re like ???? i thought he was like super confident about his looks but he seems,,,,nervous 

and you’re like “are you ok?” and jun snaps out of it and desperately seems to try and hide his feelings with a sly looking grin and he’s like “of course~!”

and you ask him to sit and face forward and,,,,,he does but then he like tilts his head a bit and you’re like “i need you to look straight if you want me to get a good shot” and he’s like oh! sorry

and he does it but you can see his eyes flashing worry and you’re like “,,,,hey are you really ok?”

and jun laughs, again obviously hiding what he’s really feeling and he’s like “fine! i just don’t think i look too great if you see all of my face like this”

and you damn near drop your camera because what the HELL is he talking about and you even say it, like literally, you’re like what the hell are you talking about

and jun scratches the back of his neck and tries to wave it off but he’s like “i look the worst from the front, my angle and profile is way be-”

and you’re like picking your camera back up and you’re like “you look like a handsome actor up front, don’t even say something like that.” and jun looks at the lense and you snap a couple of photos then go over to show him 

and you’re like “look at your jaw, and your skin??? it’s a gorgeous color, softly tan,,,,and your eyes are so strong and distinctive?? your nose is like the perfect size! you don’t even need touch ups - you’re naturally stunning.”

and you don’t notice it but jun is looking up at you and his smile turns into a bit of a smirk and he’s like “you think im stunning?” 

and you’re like yes!! and his smirk gets bigger and he’s like “i think you’re pretty stunning too-”

and you’re like me???? what- but then you catch the smirk from the corner of your eye and you like playfully push his shoulder and tell him not tease

but jun shrugs and he’s like “what, it’s true. you’re very nice to look at too.”

and you brush it off, hiding your face behind your camera as you get ready to take more photos of him

but you know,,,,,,turns out he isn’t all that high maintenance,,,,,,,tbh he listens really well to you and you get a lot of shots

and as you’re both looking at them you feel jun’s hand sneak around your shoulder,,,,his body closer to yours but like,,,,,,,you don’t mind,,,,,,,i mean,,,,,,,,,,,,,who would mind lbr

jun insists that he should pay you back for taking his photo and you’re like it’s fine and then he’s like ‘ok, then let me just take you out on a date because i really really want to.’ and you’re like DONT joke about that but jun’s like im not joking????? let’s go on a date??? gorgeous people need to stick together you know~~~~

Jeonghan

the neighbors call him ‘the perfect son-in-law’

because they want all their daughters to get married to him because he seems like the perfect man: good looks, good manners, good brains like WOW the whole damn package

and jeonghan is always so humble and modest about the nickname he’s like “marriage? oh im not ready” or “im nothing compared to your daughter”

(but in reality he’s just like lol please leave me alone i want to go home and take a nap. he’s just,,,,not saying that because that would be rude LOL)

he’s always really soft looking. like he never leaves the house with bed head, owns many warm looking sweaters, always reading some classic literature and seemingly listening to au clair de la lune 

just a real live fairy human,,,,angel,,,,,,,glowing force of beauty?

and his apartment is the same. like fight me on this but jeonghan would have some dried flowers hanging on his walls, paintings by like monet, a fuzzy white carpet, and like vintage looking furniture you’d feel like you were in a story book

and he like even set up a little corner of his apartment with a drawing easel,,,,,,,,like im talking instagram level aesthetic here

collects like ,,,, idk,,,,,,, little glass statues or something like bare with me it’s just so pretty because he’s so pretty

and you know him (how could you not) because every time you two leave at the same time he smiles kindly at you and you’re just like wow. this day? blessed

but one day you’re coming home and you’re in the wORST mood because of work/school plus you got soaked in the rain since your bus came late and you get into the elevator with jeonghan who smiles at you but you can’t even bring yourself to feel the usual happiness you do when he does that

and the elevator ride is slow up but then suddenly you feel something warm on your wet shirt

and it’s jeonghan putting his cardigan around your shoulders and he’s like “you can catch a cold walking around like that.”

and like holy shit an angel just touched you but also you’re like ,,,,, i,,,,,,i can’t take this from you

but jeonghan is like don’t worry, also make some tea when you get inside.

and you both split ways when the elevator door opens and you’re inside your apartment looking down at the cardigan in your hands and you’re like ?!?!?!?!?! what,,,,just,,,,,,happened

and the next morning you plan to return it but before you do you close the door and see a note stuck to the front and it reads ‘keep the cardigan. i hope you don’t get sick.’ and you’re like ,,,,,,,,,,, am i dreaming

but you hear another door unlock and you look over to see jeonghan again and you have no clue what to say because the most beautiful person on earth is being so sweet to you

and he smiles again when he meets your gaze and he’s like “glad you’re not sick” and you’re like “um,,,,thank,,,thank you for worrying about me?” and jeonghan shrugs and he’s like 

“ive always worried about you, you come home looking tired and i hope you’re not overdoing it.” and you can’t help but want to like d i e because,,,,w h a t,,,, he’s been worrying about you???? what kind of romance movie plot,,,,,

but then jeonghan leans a little closer and he’s like “if you feel sick, knock on my door. i have some medicine and ginger my mother sent over.” and you’re like ,,,,o,,,,,okay,,,,,,,

and jeonghan touches your cheek softly and heads for the stairs 

and you’re like am i imagining things or is,,,, ‘the perfect son in-law’ interested in me,,,,,,,

but no you’re not imagining things because jeonghan stops midway down the stairs and is like leaning against the wall because he’s happy you’re not sick but gOD he really just invited you over,,,,,,to his house,,,,the neighbor he’s liked for so long,,,,,,,,,,,,

Vernon

tries to act cool and independent but always has to call over someone to kill any bugs he finds in his house

he’s got really bad luck because while he tries to look aloof and grown up he ends up tripping over things or walking into walls or getting himself stuck between the elevator doors and ,,,,,,,,, everyone in the building is like “he’s such a cute kid!” and vernon is like im NOT a kid,,,,,,,,,,,

but c’mon he once screamed because he thought the shadow of the neighborhood cat was a ghost

but this unconscious dorkiness is what makes him so lovable and everyone’s always asking him to say something in english and vernon is like “good morning” and everyone’s like WOW SKILL TALENT

the type to ride a scooter everywhere,,,,,,,,seungcheol passes by on his bike and is like ??? and vernon is like “scooters are the new Aesthetic”

has one of those cool beds that’s like a bunkbed but the top is the bed and the bottom is a desk area 

and he’s bought a lot of composing equipment and he has a collection of headphones and other cool things that pertain to music all around his apartment

and it isn’t that messy, but it’s all in dark tones like his little sister visits and always insists that vernon change his bed sheets from grey to like yellow and vernon is like ‘im a cool guy, cool guys don’t have yellow sheets’ and his sister is like uh huh ok

you actually don’t know vernon that well, but you know his sister because you work part-time at a grocery around the block from your building and when she visits vernon she always stops by to get food and complain a bit about how brother n EVER eats actual meals

and you think she’s the most adorable girl on this side of the planet so you always sneak in free ice-cream or candy for her 

and as you’re getting home from your shift one day, the elevator opens and there’s vernon and his sister and once she sees you she’s like !!!!!!! and drags vernon over to you and she’s like 

“i didn’t know you lived here too!!! this is the brother im always talking about, are you guys friends???” and you and vernon are both embarrassingly like not really,,,

and his sister pouts and she’s like “when im not around, can you take care of him for me? im worried he’s not getting enough sun and -”

and vernon coughs because sOFIA you’re embarrassing,,,,,me,,,,,

but you’re like “ok, i will!! good neighbors take care of each other ^^”

and vernon kind of tries hard to keep from turning pink when you ask if that’s ok with him and he’s like ,,,,,, sure anything to calm down my sister

and it’s funny because sofia is looking between you and vernon and she’s like 

“you’d look cute together you know, my brother is single-”

and vernon is like OOOO KA ay,,,,,,time to go nice talking to you neighbor bye bye

and you watch as he like dashes off and he’s like c’mon sofia but she stays back a bit and leans over like 

“i think he’s shy,,,,,he’s like that. but it’s a good sign, i think he’s interested too~~”

and you’re like oh my,,,,,,,

but also can you believe sofia. the real matchmaker mvp 

Dino 

get mistaken for someone who doesn’t live alone, but who still lives with their parents because what???? you can afford to pay rent on your own?????

but tbh he’s quite independent, and a quick learner like ask any of the other seventeen neighbors who self taught themselves to make chicken tenders from scratch??? no one. except dino who learned from the nice grandma down the hall

sometimes gets in trouble for playing music too loud but he’s too cute for any1 to stay mad at for 2 long

can be spotted playing tag with the younger kids if their parents have to go get groceries or something, he gets a side job as a babysitter sometimes because kids love him???? he’s so good with them because he has so much energy??

his own apartment is a lot like him, it’s colorful and the most important thing is his speakers that are the only thing he keeps relatively clean. his desk is littered with clothes and notebooks and candy wrappers from late night snacks

has photos of his parents performances up on his wall and in his closet he has it separated into : dance costumes and normal clothes 

all his refrigerator magnets are in the shape of dinos,,,how cute

he practices dancing by himself late into the night so a lot of the time he ends up getting hungry and ordering pizza on a whim and,,,,,one day he gets a pizza but it’s like???? an extra large size because the orders got screwed up and dino is like: i cannot. finish this

and he considers calling vacuum cleaner hyung (minghao + mingyu) but it’s late so instead he’s like “maybe the neighbor will want some!!!”

that neighbor is you,,,,,he’s also up doing some late night work and when you hear the doorbell you’re like ?????? it’s 1 in the morning,,,,,is it a robber??? and you grab a nearby pot just in case but when you open the door slowly

you just see dino,,,,,with his kindhearted smile and a plate stacked with??? pizza slices

and he’s like “i don’t know if you like pizza, but i have a lot left over and i thought if you were awake you’d like some !!!” and he grins and puts out the plate and you’re like ???? but also,,,,,,,,pizza for FREE,,,,,,,yum yum

and you gladly accept and dino is like happy because he’s made you happy and for a second you two stand there a bit awkwardly and you’re like “do you want to come in?” and dino is like “well,,,,it’s late but we never properly introduced ourselves as neighbors so??”

and you’re like it’s fine come in sorry for the mess and you go over to your kitchen, dino following behind and you’re like “so why are you up at this ungodly hour?” and dino is like “im practicing!! i dance~” and you’re like OOOO show me 

and dino clears your sofa a bit and starts busting out all these cool moves and you’re eating pizza and clapping and you’re like encore!!! as a silly joke but he really does start doing another routine

and you’re like holy hell i never knew i lived next door to such a talented person!! 

and dino blushes red and he’s like “im still practicing, it’s just a hobby for now,,,,” but you’re like “seriously, you could be a PRO, you should try becoming an idol?”

and dino is like wHA,,,, i could NEVER and you’re like “you’d do great!! you’re a nice person, you dance well, and you’re cute!” and the word cute just makes dino scrunch up his nose,,,,,but he likes it and he’s like 

“maybe ill look around for some auditions!!” and you set down the pizza to give him a thumbs up and you’re like “once you become an idol, ill be your number one fan - i promise~” and dino is like alsfgkfsdkh don’t say that that’s so cheesy

but you’re like “you know what’s really cheesy? this FREE PIZZA”

dino: “good pun!!!!!!!!!!!”

you: “i know right!!!!!!”

you’re both laughing so damn hard you accidentally wake the other neighbors LOL 

#seventeen scenarios #seventeen scenario #jun scenarios #jun scenario #junhui scenario #junhui scenarios #jeonghan scenarios #jeonghan scenario #junghan scenario #junghan scenarios #dino scenario #dino scenarios #lee chan scenario #lee chan scenarios #vernon scenarios #vernon scenario #hansol scenario #hansol scenarios #sfw #jun #vernon #jeonghan #dino #seventeen #member: jeonghan #member: dino #member: vernon #member: jun

[svartalfhild]

Books, Booze, and Bad Decisions, Or: My Gleeful Cackling at Critical Role Episode 90.

This episode was fucking gold, you guys.  It had a shit ton of comedy, a taste of angst, and some inspiring moments.  What a Good.

I really, really loved the boys (minus Grog, because #PantsPanic) all spending an afternoon on a really ridiculous tinkering project.  And they made Doty look freaky as all hell and gave him a damn Secret Mustache™.  I couldn’t stop laughing.  Shay is hardcore af, though, just shaving her head like that.  Respect.  Although, to be fair, I would totally shave my head for that amount of money.

I was fucking HERE for everything to do with Percy and Vex getting excited about the opportunity to do fancy dress and teach her more about being a baroness of Whitestone.  And like Vex and Kiki going shopping for dresses and getting them in the colours of their homes.

When the twins were at the Platinum Sanctuary and Vord was all “we have to research the book”, I was screaming internally, because BOY HOWDY DOES THAT NEVER END WELL.  I am SO DAMN GLAD Vax insisted on taking it to the Raven Queen temple, because we know they would deadass destroy that book, thus preventing it from ever falling into the wrong hands or possessing someone or some shit.  I know Bahamut’s peeps mean well, but you can’t take chances of any kind with that sort of evil.

I also super loved the Goth Adventures of Vax and Percy bit where they went to the temple to drop off the book and had a good chat about their relationship.  I love that the last time either of them were there, they were both very upset with themselves and with each other and now they are back and they are brothers again and Vax has decided that he likes Percy being with his sister and Percy is doing what he can to help Vax get to a better place.  GAH.  THE FEELS.  Also, that ass slap.  Good episode for the Perc’ildan shippers.

This was also another amazing episode for the Great Percleth Friendship.  They went to fucking Nerd Central, walking in like “waddup, we’re important” and got in to see the Dangerous Information.  (The whole “we want to see the manager” bit hit real close to home, though.  That poor woman.)  They found out that they have to go to FUCKING DIS HOLY SHIT.  And like, Percy being so proud and excited to see his bestie complete her quest and become a leader and her praiing him as her counter balance in her speech.  SO GOOD.

OH MY FUCKING GOD GROG AND TARY AND DOTY ARE A FUCKING MESS AND SHOULD NOT BE LEFT ALONE TOGETHER.  THEY ARE GONNA GET ARRESTED.  I MEAN THAT SHIT WAS HILARIOUS AND I WAS ROLLING, BUT JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.

What else got me rolling was everybody at the bar after that whole fiasco and Percy being like the Booze Master.  Also, Percy’s reaction to Vex talking about marriage like “I hope there’s no real world experience with that that I need to worry about”.  I’m gonna call it now, though, and say Percy wants to marry that woman.

THAT SPEECH, THOUGH.  WITH THE TREE.  THAT WHOLE BIT WAS SO CINEMATIC HOLY FUCK.  I COULD SEE IT ALL CLEARLY IN MY MIND.  MATT IS A GIFT.  MARISHA IS A GIFT.  I CAN’T BELIEVE WE’RE FINALLY HERE AT THE END OF KEYLETH’S QUEST, HER LIFE’S WORK.  SUCH DAMN GOOD STORYTELLING AND BUILDUP.  I CRY.

I absolutely loved that bittersweet moment when Grog was covered in children and he was weirded out until someone suggested they were like gnomes.

Vax and Korren’s moment hit me so hard.  Vax’s “more than I ever got” comment was quiet, but fuck did it resonate loudly in my heart.  I need more Korren being nice to Vax.

Hey, so we’re now ten episodes away from the big 100 and I figure that of course they’re gonna do something special.  My theory is that it’ll be a new intro, but given that Taliesin hasn’t had Percy hair at all recently, I’m inclined to think that if there is a new intro, it’ll be animated, which is an exciting idea.

#Critical Role #CR recap #CR spoilers #CR Ep90 spoilers

[straight-outta-the-asylum]

Marry You (Roman Reigns x Reader)

Aw yes, back at it with the attempts at Roman. There’s one more coming up with him! Yay! This request is based off the song Marry You by Bruno Mars. It’s a very fun song and I tried to keep the overall tone of it fun as well. I hope you enjoy!

It's a beautiful night, we're looking for something dumb to do Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you Is it the look in your eyes, or is it this dancing juice Who cares baby, I think I wanna marry you

“What do you think about this one? Think it’ll fit?” Roman picked up a pretty looking silver ring and handed it over to Y/N.

“I like it but I think it’s too big.” She pouted. And indeed, the ring did slip off when she tried to wear it. Roman fumbled to catch it, playing hot potato with it for a while before finally holding it still, to Y/N’s laughter. “Score!”

“Wasn’t top player on the football team for no reason, baby girl.” Roman grinned and put the ring back.

Thankfully the area was empty and no one was witnessing this spectacle; the only thing in the room with them was a few boxes of a variety of rings. For a walk in-chapel it was pretty dead, Roman had mused as they stumbled out of the cab a few minutes before, but it’d be nice enough for a quick wedding. No one, save for the overpaid taxi driver and the chapel owner, knew they were here. As far as Roman knew, everyone was still back at the ritzy New Vegas bar, and hopefully no one knew where they were.

Any other night, this wouldn’t have happened. But this night was a bit different; Roman had asked Y/N to marry him flat out, and she had said yes without any hesitation. After that it was only a matter of time before they were stumbling over themselves to find a somewhat nice “chapel” to make it official, unable to wait until they changed their minds.

“Oh, what about this one!” Y/N picked out a silver band with little etchings in it and handed it to Roman. “I think it’ll look nice for you. Were you looking for something fancy?”

“As fancy as we can get on a few hundred bucks and in our work clothes.” Roman grinned but took the band and studied it. Actually looked pretty good, although Roman had no idea where it came from. “We still need to find yours, though.”

Though the incident must have been comical to an extent (a big Samoan man in cargo pants and a tee shirt with a girl who looked half his size fumbling over rings in a drive-in wedding), there was something oddly sweet about it; to Roman, at least. That they were willing to do it so soon was a feat in itself, even if the reason was because they were more than a little buzzed.

“Agh, there’s not one in my size. I was looking forward to this!” She huffed a bit, digging through the boxes. “And now my hand smells like metal.”

“What about this one?” He reached in and brought out one that caught his eye. It was almost identical to his own, except his didn’t have the blue gem in the center of it.

“You found it in one sweep.” She took the ring with a head-shake and a gentle sigh, though she was grinning a bit. “How?”

“Got talents, I guess.” Roman shrugged but was cut off by Y/N practically leaping on him in an impromptu make-out session. It was a little messy and tasted like gin, but it was perfect.

“You guys have your-“ Someone dressed in what seemed to be a priest’s frock opened the door with a yawn, cigarette dangling in his fingers, but he paused up on the spectacle, clearing his throat. The look on his face showed he was probably used to this.

“Huh? Oh, sorry!” Y/N giggled. “We got ‘em!” Roman blinked and gave a dazed nod in the man’s direction.

“Then let’s do this thing.” The officiator took another drag and walked off, coughing.

“Ready?” Roman smiled down at her.

“Hell yeah.”

----

The sun felt like it had a personal vendetta against Roman. He was used to liquor and hangovers, but that didn’t mean it didn’t still hurt. The blankets were half off of him and he tried to bring them up to cover himself. It was silent for a few minutes before he felt a tug on the other end of the sheets.

“Blanket-hog.” A tired voice barely mumbled, and Roman rolled quickly to come face to back with Y/N, naked and asleep in his bed. At least they were in the hotel, but still, it was a sight to see (not altogether unpleasant, Roman admitted to himself).

“Holy shit.” He groaned as the memories came back. The wedding and the guy who had hacked his way through most of it, signing the certificates, going out again on a bar crawl for the honeymoon, the feelings of happiness and the electric way the night progressed. “Y/N?” He nudged her side, where he knew she was ticklish.

“Stop.” She groaned and rolled over to protect her side, blinking her eyes open. She never was a morning person; Roman had known almost immediately after meeting her that if she didn’t get her coffee within an hour after she woke up it was best to stay away until noon. Normally Roman found it endearing, and he would’ve lightly teased her, but the glint on her ring kept drawing his attention to that.

“You remember last night?”

“Yeah, ‘course I do. There was…a bar, and I think fries somewhere.”

“We also got married.”

“Married? Oh, yeah.” She was silent for a bit and Roman had thought she’d gone back to sleep before her eyes popped open. “Married?”

“’Fraid so.” Roman worked his left arm out from under him to show the silver ring he still wore, but there was a hint of a grin on his face as it all hit him. On one hand, it was terrifying to think they were an item. On the other hand, it was fan-fucking-tastic.

“Now I remember.” She looked over at her own ring and plopped back on the pillow. “My parents are gonna kill me.”

“You think that’s bad? My family’s going to come after me. My mom’ll never let me live it down I got married without her there. In Vegas, of all places.” His hand reached out and brushed her shoulder, and Y/N shivered in return.

“I think we need to talk about this.”

“It’s early enough. We can get an annulment if you want.” Originally he thought that’s what this would eventually end up in, but that was last night and this was now, and he felt a little more differently on that.

“I don’t mean that kind of talk. I mean we need to figure out how the fuck we’re going to keep this from our families until we can give them a wedding.”

He perked up at that. ‘You wanna keep this a thing?”

“Why not? You’re hot, and we get benefits. Besides,” Y/N averted his gaze. “I think you’re pretty sweet. Last night, we had a thing, you know?”

“That spark?”

“Yeah. God, it sounds so cheesy!” She groaned into a pillow. “None of this makes sense.”

“I make perfect sense. You’re the one making this more complicated than it has to be.” His grin grew wider at the look she shot him. “Why not? Let’s do this thing.”

“To marriage that I hope we don’t regret?”

“To marriage I’m pretty sure we won’t regret.”

The only thing they ended up regretting was telling Roman’s mother in the weeks that followed. But beyond that, they really didn’t have anything to complain about, and they always held the memory of their off-kilter wedding. No one else they knew could say they got married by a druggie preacher in a Vegas quick-marriage.

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed. If you liked this fic please let me know and show those buttons some love. Thanks again for reading! Love you guys!

#roman reigns #roman reigns x reader #roman reigns imagine

[theforestwarden]

I didn’t know that I was starving (till I tasted you) | Molly & Forest

Flashback depicting the marvelous date between Forest and @scribeswhocode  that happened on 2/14/17 that I know you all want to know about  ;)

“Hey keep them closed Missy” Forest chided as he guided Molly into the apartment his entire body practically buzzing. He’d been so anxious about this night he was running on like 4 hours of sleep, but everything was going so well now that the anxiety had turned into excitement.  “Alright. Now you can open!” He said sweeping his arm out towards the dining room. He’d put everything out just before he left, the completely 100 percent Kosher vegetable lasagne salad and garlic bread all spread on the table, next to the beautiful center piece of tiny christmas lights and  flowers and from one of the plants in his room.

More than anything else, ​Molly​ had spent the majority of the day stressing about what to wear. After receiving the message from Forest and then receiving his gifts, Molly had left work early to head straight home and try to pick out her outfit before deciding nothing was right and going out to buy an entirely new one. She felt like her usual floral dresses and sweaters weren't quite enough for this. Two hours later and Molly was back at her apartment, finishing getting ready while she waited for Forest to show up. She had bought a long sleeved red t-shirt dress that went down just below her thighs and a pair of new short high heeled boots that were ridiculously uncomfortable because she hadn't had time to break them in. She was trying to give be different this time around, so she bought a black choker and applied a little more eyeliner than usual. Instead of straightening her hair or tying it into a bun as usual she tried to curl it lightly and let the waves fall more naturally. When Forest showed up she thanked him for the gifts before realizing that there were even more in the car. What the heck was she supposed to do on his birthday? After the ride her eyes were being covered as she was lead into the apartment and into the dining room where her vision was restored and she could see just how beautiful the place was set up. "Holy- Oh my- This is incredible. Truly. Wow." She spun in a circle around the room, taking in the whole thing before settling back on Forest. "Wow. Thank you so much

Beaming slightly, his cheeks now the same color as his new little red bow tie (yes he bought one thing for himself in all of this planning because he always wanted a science nerd red bow tie) Forest tried to shake off the praise. “It’s no problem,” he said walking over to  the table and proceeding to pull out her chair for her “I mean it’s not everyday you’ve got to celebrate a holiday and a birthday at once.” Because it wasn’t. Molly was the first person he knew who had one on a major holiday, and well he guessed he just wanted to make sure their first valentine's was special, as well as her birthday, and their first date. Even if it all happened to be rolled into one. Smoothing his navy blazer down over his button down though Forest waited for Molly to sit, mouth watering over all the food in front of him. And he’d be lying if he said he didn’t sample some of it, but he’d also skipped lunch to make it so all of that started canceling each other out. “And like I said in my invitation everything is Kosher” He winked at her.

Molly was laughing as she sat down in the chair and waited for Forest to do the same before she started filling up her plate with food. She had never doubted that Forest would remember that she could only eat Kosher food. "Well don't worry you're doing great." Molly smiled widely at him, "Besides I've never really counted Valentines day as a real holiday anyways." Granted, she had never had a boyfriend before either which could have had something to do with that. Once her plate was completely filled she started digging in and had to pause to just savor the moment. She knew Forest was a good cook, so it really shouldn't have surprised her buy just how good it all was. "This is freaking delicious."

Smiling silently to himself at Molly’s praise Forest piled his plate high with food after his girlfriend, happy that there was still a little steam coming off the lasagne. He had nothing to judge this off of so he was reviled that he wasn’t letting her down.  “I mean i can see the commercialization of it, but I don’t know. I’ve always loved love so any excuse to celebrate that to me is worth it.” Forest  replied before taking a bite of food. Molly was right it was pretty good, especially since he made it differently than he usually did. “Thanks.” Forest blushed. With all the praise, and well just his unbelievably breathtaking girlfriend sitting next to him, he was probably just going to have to get used to wearing a permanent blush on this date “I mean it wasn’t that hard of a recipe.” He continued shaking it off a little “I can give it to you if you want.”

Between bites of food, ​Molly​ feared talking with her mouth full so she tried to keep conversation to the bare minimum. The last thing she needed was to embarrass herself on this date. Not that Forest would even care, because she knew that he wouldn't. He would probably just laugh it off with her and go on with his night as if nothing had happened. It wasn't like Molly's face could get any more red than Forest's already was tonight. "I get the point of it. Both points. The capitalism and the love part. I think it's important for first time couples to celebrate it. I just think if you're like three years into a marriage and still worried about getting your wife flowers or else she will get mad at you then something is wrong." Molly found herself going on the rant before she could realize that now, on a date during Valentine's day probably wasn't the time to speak of her disdain for the holiday. She was so used to being that moody lonely kid hating Valentines day not only because she was single, but also because it took the attention away from her birthday. "And now is not the time for that at all." Molly laughed and stuffed her face with more food before she made a bigger full of herself. At the thought of the recipe, Molly just gave a thumbs up until she was done chewing. "Or I can make you cook it again and help you so I learn how to make it. Like a couple thing. Where I get food."

Nodding Forest took a sip of his water, trying to make everything in the woefully normal glass last as long as it would in his big cup. Because he wasn’t a Leshy tonight ok. He was just a normal guy on a normal date with his beautiful and normal Jewish girlfriend. “Yea. I mean like I said” He continued placing his fork down for a moment “I think if you’re celebrating love in your own way, that’s the true meaning of the holiday. If you’re just buying overpriced flowers and candy because you think its expected, then that’s when it’s a problem” Wiping at his mouth with his napkin however Forest was a bit relieved when she changed the subject to something more cheerful. Like mooching food off of your ever dutiful boyfriend.  “I’m sensing the beginning of a trend here” Forest smirked as he lifted another forkful to his mouth. It was more of a tease than anything serious and he hoped it showed. Because he literally would cook Molly anything she wanted if it meant he simply got to spend time with her. “But I’ll let it slide seeing as how I like to cook, and you like to eat. It’s a win win all around” He winked at her again.

Molly nodded her head in agreement with what Forest was saying, mostly because she had no interest in going back to the subject of Valentine's day on Valentine's day. It was oddly depressing. Of course the Holiday was based on a guy getting beheaded for marrying people, so apparently the rest of the world used to think about love the same way Molly would like to think she used to. She knew that she had always been a hopeless romantic, but had no interest in admitting that. "It's totally your fault for admitting that you like to cook and then agreeing to date a girl you know is ridiculously hopeless at it. So I don't feel bad for you at all." She decidedly cut it off by taking a dramatic bite into her food and giving a wide smile at him.

Scoffing slightly at her words Forest chewed the bite of lasagna he had just taken shaking his head in the process. She’d gotten this far in life so Forest had to figure she was probably able to cook more than she was letting on. But he liked this banter between them now, and the more they hung out together the easier it seemed to fall off of his lips. “You going to fix all my computer problems then?” Forest questioned mirroring her smile. “Because if i’m going to cook for you it’s only fair you save me from the technology I don’t understand” He waved his fork at her teasingly, glad that they could not tease each other like this. I mean it wasn’t that they hadn’t been able to tease each other before but now. Now it seemed more appropriate. More loving. Now it seemed as if, well they didn’t have to hold back bits and pieces or something. They could just be Molly and Forest. Molly and Forest in love.

Molly groaned sarcastically, the smile never leaving her face. "That is totally unfair." She crossed her arms to pout like a seven year old child and feigned anger. "All you have to do is make good food and you're asking me to work miracles? I think I'm really getting the short end of the stick here." It was mostly a joke. After all, Forest wasn't a complete lost cause when it came to technology. Mostly. He at least knew how to turn a laptop on and find the internet browser and he had caught onto Mario Kart quick enough.

“Is it though?” Forest replied with a twinkle in his eye. Yea teaching him about technology might be a little bit more of a feat than him simply cooking for Molly, but hey, who doesn’t like a good challenge. Plus he was starting to get that whole Mario Kart thing. “And it’s only the short end of the stick if I start beating you at your own game.” He smirked at her before shoving another large bite in his mouth. Chewing and swallowing though Forest placed his fork down for a few seconds patting at his mouth with his napkin “So how was your day?” He asked genuinely interested in how her birthday had gone for her.

Molly couldn't help but laugh at the thought of Forest actually rising above the challenge and beating her at anything that involved technology. "Yeah, Sure Jan." Molly joked at him. Forest probably didn't even know the sure Jan meme, and yet he was trying to say he would beat Molly at her own game some day. Ha. Cute sentiment from the tree boy. "I'll believe that when I see it." Molly was pleasantly surprised that she could be happy about her birthday. Her birthday on Valentine's day had always been somewhat of a sore spot, but she never actually cared much because she spent it with her family. This year, she was expecting things to be much worse than they actually were. "It was fantastic. I spent it working and then with Bridget and now with you. Can't complain too much. How about you?"

Looking a her Forest raised a single confused eyebrow. He was used to references going over his head but this one seemed like something he should know. Especially if Molly knew it! But going about with another mouthful Forest shrugged it off, figuring Molly would either explain or just let it go too. “And you will see it” He replied “i’ve been practicing!” Because he had been, at least with Mario Kart, and his laptop, and phone. So there were at least a couple things he would be able to do better! Hopefully. Maybe one day. Chuckling softly at his own technological ineptitude though Forest shook it off figuring this was one battle would probably never win and instead when about detailing what he did during his day today. “School, a smidge of work, and then cooking so pretty good myself” He smiled softly at Molly before breaking the eye contact to go back to eating. Swallowing his current forkful of Lasagna though he asked the question that be burning in his mind since he woke up today “Any good presents today besides mine?” He was grinning at her now.

"Bridget made me some super cute cupcakes" Molly smiled. She had had a few at work but the rest were all sitting on her counter at the apartment, "I'll let you try one when you come over next." If she didn't eat them all first. She rarely kept any food in her fridge that could be considered real food, so those cupcakes might have to play breakfast every now and again. As she was finishing up her food she asked Forest curiously, "So what's next after dinner?"

“Aww that’s nice” Forest replied smiling. He was happy that some of Molly’s friends did something for her too. Just so she had more than one person in her corner on her special day. “But yea. I’ll have to try one, if they aren’t gone by the time i get ther” He winked at Molly. He’d seen the inside of her fridge a few times, so he knew that she was not always the best eater in town. He’d have to set a reminder to cook for her more so she got something nutritious and filling every once and awhile. Waving his fork around slightly as she asked what was next forest tried to keep himself casual. “Well I guess that’s up to you. Like I said I’ve got lots of things we could do, like lounge in a wonderful pillow fort for instance” He grinned over at her. “But first we’ll have to get the cake and sing Happy birthday! Can’t forget that.”

"I can probably save one for you at least" ​Molly​ smiled, happy that the two were basically thinking the same thing. Even if the thoughts they had were usually at Molly's expense. Should she be happy or embarrassed that the two of them were both thinking the same thing about Molly's awful diet? "A pillow fort? Yes yes yes please. I love pillow forts!" She was getting a bit too excited about the pillow fort probably, but luckily the idea of Forest singing to her was enough to calm her down a bit at least. "Oh no. No singing happy birthday. I hate it enough in crowded restaurants I don't need you singing it to me. Plus, I'm the singer of the two of us. The only song that is acceptable for you to sing is Color of the Wind." She laughed at her own joke. Color of the Wind. Good one.

“I’ll take that.” Forest replied with a nod “Though if it’s between you not eating breakfast or something and me getting a cupcake, take the cupcake” Because he literally would not be upset at all. He just wanted Molly to eat. Sensing how excited she was about the pillow fort though Forest blushed a bit, he didn’t know shes be that into it, but it was nice. “Well if you’re this excited about a pillow fort, wait till you see what’s inside” Because oh yea she was probably going to flip when she say the laraoke machine. “Sorry, but its already decided” He put his hands on the table when she mentioned that she didn’t want him singing happy birthday, “you are getting an off key rendition of Happy Birthday. And then possibly Listen to Your Heart, because Grandmother Willow just understands me ok.” Forest replied with a grin, happy that he actually got the reference. I mean he hoped she was referencing Pocahontas, which one of the few disney movies he was actually able to watch during his childhood.

Molly scratched at her head, already embarrassed for Forest's singing before he even had the chance to do it. Was it possible to die of embarrassment for someone else? She supposed she was about to find out. "Listen to your Heart is totally acceptable. It's a great song." She skipped over the part about not eating breakfast, the less she talked to people about that the better. She disliked the idea of people feeling bad for her. Considering it was so easy to feel bad for her right now, she usually just chose to neglect sharing information that she felt was especially embarrassing to preserve everyone's sanity. She could argue with somebody all day against their pity, which wasn't productive to any party involved. "Okay. Well let's get it over with. Bring it on."

“Good because that is what I will be singing” Forest nodded, hoping the karaoke machine had a full range of disney medleys on there, as there was no way he was singing acapella. Plus he was sure Molly would want to use it straight away. So he and grandmother Willow could help break it in. Wiping his mouth through for the last time though Forest sighed “Well if the lady doth commands”, he said getting up from his spot with a grin “Anyways I will be right back with your cake so you better not dine and dash on me” He stuck out his tongue at her before disappearing into the kitchen for a couple of minutes a small home made cake with Molly’s favorite frosting and ablaze with candles in his hands upon his return.

Molly felt like she could finally take a breath when Forest left the dining room to grab the cake. She couldn't quite pin down why it was that she felt so nervous about all of this. Maybe it was just because it was her first real romantic date. Although she never figured that she would be as comfortable around her boyfriend as she was around Forest. Maybe because the two were best friends first. Everything to her was very confusing about her dating life. She also never thought that she would be the less awkward of the two, but here Forest was adorably fumbling through the date so nervous and cute. Speaking of him, he came back from the kitchen a few moments later holding the cake with the candles lit on top of it and Molly clapped her hands and smiled while she prepared herself to hear Forest attempt to sing happy birthday to her.

Standing there watching Molly smile Forest couldn’t help but grin himself the sheer joy of doing something for his girlfriend, his best friend, giving him well, Joy.  Placing the cake on the table Forest pulled out a party hat from his back pocket slipping it easily over his own head (because he wasn’t about to ruin his girlfriend's hair,no sir) just waiting for Molly’s reaction. “Happy brithday to yooouuuu” he started to sing in his worst off key rendition he could “hApppyy Birthday to youuuu. Happpyyy birthday dear themostbeautfiulgirlintheworld Mollyyyyyyyy. Happy Birthday too yoooouuuuuuuu” Ending on high note Forest did a few jazz hands as we waited for her to blow out her candle and make a wish.

Molly sat smiling through the pain of Forest singing, knowing that he was purposely singing even worse than usual just to spite Molly and make her suffer. Despite that it made her smile even more because of it. So she smiled and laughed through the entirety of that awful, awful singing and afterwards she sat for a long moment and closed her eyes to make herself think of a wish. Or if nothing came to her like usual she could at least make it look like she was wishing for something. But this time a wish came quickly. And all she wanted was for some sign that everything was going to be okay. She blew the candles out and peaked one eye open. Looking up at Forest was the first sign that things would be. After he set the cake down is when Molly pushed off of the chair and forward to kiss him.

Watching Molly sitting there laughing and smiling Forest just beamed proud of himself. It was safe to say he’d never done anything like this for anyone ever and it was wonderful to know he was doing something right for someone that had become so special to him. Something real right, because the second he set down the cake Molly lips were on him. And naturally Forest froze every sense in his body over stimulated with the weight of two soft petals pressed against his mouth. Because this was, this was a lot to take in. Their first intimate gesture and he was stuck there like a deer in the headlights, cheeks slowly becoming more and more scarlet by the minute and his brain feeling like it was on fire every second Molly was this close to him. But the funny thing was now that Forest had this, he never wanted to stop. Ever. He didn’t need to breath right? Like carbon dioxide was for chumps right? Putting his hand along her waist Forest held himself there not really knowing what to do but figuring he’d follow Molly’s lead, lettering her pull away first. Standing there looking at her though Forest realized that he didn’t know how to continue now.  He didn;t know how to be normal now that he’d shared something like this with Molly. But he knew he had to do something. “So t-this was to get me to s-s-hut up wasn’t it” Forest stuttered out not knowing what else to say but figuring trying to joke about you know HIS FIRST KISS would just make everything way way less awkward.

Molly pulled away from Forest possibly more shocked than the state he seemed to be in, which was really saying something. "Wow. Okay. So I just did that." She spoke aloud, to her own personal horror. The thought had been screaming through her head amid the entire kiss, but up until this moment her lips were a little busy. Now apparently anything was fair game and she was entirely too nervous about that. "How'd you know?" Molly laughed nervously, thankful for the joke and anxious that the kiss was going to become the center of attention. She didn't know enough about relationships to know if that was the right or wrong thing to do. "So about that pillow fort!" She blurted out suddenly and did a 180, ready to head towards Forest's bedroom, "I gotta see the masterpiece."

“Yea” Forest breathed out as he started to come to not even really registering that it was something that had happened to him. Because no one kissed him, ever. Well except his mother. Once. On the forehead. But this, yea well this was so much better than that. As it should be. Taking a few more deep breaths Forest blushed a little grinning at his horrible attempt at a joke. “Well I-I guess that’s one way to do it. Possibly my new p-preferred method” He shrugged slightly at the thought. Watching her though almost blot out of the room Forest pushed his feelings down, knowing that something else needed his attention now.  “Molly” Forest chided, reaching out for her hand. He could tell she was nervous. But she needn’t be, she would never be able to do anything wrong in Forest’s eyes. OK well that was a lie, but there was a laundry list of things that she could do that he’d be ok with and kissing him was definitely on the top of that list.  “You don’t have to run out of the room you know,” He was smiling now hoping that a return to normal would help signal that everything was still ok between them, “Because contrary to popular beleif the pillows will in fact wait for you.”

"Will they wait for me? I don't have any proof" ​Molly​ laughed nervously and wasn't sure if she would ever be able to laugh normally again. Not at the rate she was going. She wasn't the type to do something like that. She always figured that whoever she dated would have to lead her when it came to relationships. Then again she also never thought that she would be the type to do any of the other crazy stuff she had done since moving to Ashkent Creek. "Sorry. I'm just... nervous. Nervous is normal right? I think that it's pretty normal. Plus I'm just super excited about this pillow fort." Another nervous laugh, this time paired with her hands reflexively twirling at her hair. At least she wasn't lying when she said that she was excited for the pillow fort.

“Oh so you need proof now?” Forest chuckled trying not to let Molly’s nervousness affect him. I mean was his mind racing from his first kiss? Yes. But like a lot of other things, Forest shoved that to the back for now, and instead focused on trying to make this better for Molly. It was her birthday after all.  “Nervous is normal.” Forest nodded as if he actually knew about the subject (which he didn’t) “But I think not being nervous would be the best” Reaching out for her again Forest held his out, urge to interlace their fingers together to quell the nervous energy hitting him harder than it ever had before. Because Molly was his best friend, and even though they were moving into new territory, with dates, and kissing and just, relationship stuff, underneath it all they were still just Forest and Molly. “Shall we?” he asked quietly.

Molly grabbed onto Forest's hand, careful not to squeeze too tightly despite how nervous she was about the situation. "Lead the way kind sir" As if she had no idea which bedroom was his. She followed Forest through the hallway and closed her eyes as the door swung open, wanting to see the entire fort all at once instead of seeing it swing into view obscured by his bedroom door. She gasped and jumped into the air excitedly when she saw it. "This is amazing! I feel like I'm twelve years old again!" She clapped her hands together and turned to Forest and wrapped him in a tight hug, "You crushed it. Seriously." She whispered to him before stepping into his room. "Aren't you going to give me the tour?" Despite all the reservations and emotions she had felt this morning knowing it was her first birthday without her family, times like these reminded her that she would be okay here in Ashkent Creek.

#touchofchatzy #scribeswhocode #chatzy #//so so late #BUT WE'RE POSTING ANYWAYS #XD

[anavoliselenu]

Hiched chapter 13

“Years?” I don’t mean to blurt it with such force, but holy hell. Seriously?

She frowns. “Don’t make fun.”

I touch her cheek softly. “I’m not.” Then I lean in for a chaste kiss. “I just want to make this good for you.”

“You will.” She kisses me back. “I have no doubts about that.”

And then her hands are on my dick again, and I couldn’t stop her even if I wanted to. She’s unbuckling my belt, tugging down my zipper, shoving her hands inside my boxers to palm my erection. Her hands are so delicate, so warm, and it’s the first time she’s touched me.

“Christ, Selena.” I grunt, pushing my pants down my hips so she can stroke me freely.

Is marital sex hotter than hookup sex? The answer to that question seems to be a big fucking YES. Because just the thought of banging my wife has me harder than ever before. So hard that my cock is leaking pre-cum from the tip, something Selena seems to have noticed. She rubs her thumb along the head, smearing the warm fluid against my sensitive skin, making me groan.

I look down between us to where Selena’s gaze is glued as well. Her hand moves up and down my shaft with a firm, yet tender grip.

“You’re so big, so sexy,” she murmurs.

“That’s right, baby. Now stroke that big cock.”

I take her mouth in a hungry kiss, our tongues dueling as her hands slide up and down. Oh God, I can’t think, but I need to stop this. Man up and push her off. Tell her what’s on my mind.

Instead, what do I do? I pet her cheek with my thumb and say, “Get down on your knees and put your mouth on me, baby.” I’ve fantasized about Selena’s sassy mouth wrapped around my cock for so long, this is sure to be a dream come true.

Without a trace of the hesitation I expected, she drops to her knees before me and grips my base with both hands.

I don’t ask her to suck it, because unless she’s secretly a blow job expert—or she can unhinge her jaw—I doubt I’ll fit in her mouth. So instead I stroke her hair, and caress her cheek, and watch her lick me like a lollipop and swirl her tongue around the tip. Her efforts are cute. And the languid, wet kiss she leaves on the crown feels incredible. She murmurs little enticing noises as I pet her hair. She fits the tip of me in her mouth and suckles lightly, making me groan.

Hauling her up to her feet, I kiss her one more time. “Let’s take this to the bedroom.”

She nods eagerly and turns to walk ahead of me, swinging her hips in that backless dress.

I can’t believe she’s mine. Can’t believe that she’s about to give herself to me. A flash of pride tinged with guilt whips through me, and I give chase.

In the bedroom, Selena watches me as she lets the straps of her dress fall down her shoulders, until the whole thing is just a puddle of fabric at her feet. Having forgone a bra, she’s left standing in a lacy black thong and her black stiletto heels.

“So fucking sexy.” I groan, stopping in front of her to kiss her lips and then her neck.

My pants are still open in the front, and Selena reaches inside to take me in her hands again.

“Christ, woman.” I’m putty in her hands. Whatever she wants to do, I’m game. But I can’t give her all the control. “On the bed,” I growl, taking a step back.

Selena obeys, stepping out of her heels and moving to lie down in the center of the bed. Our bed. Shit, that’s going to take some getting used to. It should make me nervous that this woman will be here when I wake up, that this isn’t just another one-night stand. If I fuck this up, if things change and get weird after, there will be no escaping Selena.

Strangely, though, that isn’t what’s making me nervous.

It’s the sweetly hopeful way Selena’s wide blue eyes are watching me. She wants this erotic experience with me, wants to experience all the pleasure I can show her. But what if this encounter goes the way it’s supposed to and she ends up pregnant? What then? Are we ready for a baby? Are we even cut out to be parents? Will she hate me?

But the time to talk has passed. I blew all my chances to talk about the heir clause tonight; I’ll just have to tell her tomorrow. Because right now Selena is waiting for me, and I’ve never left a woman in need.

Pushing all those troubling thoughts of babies from my brain, I strip, then lie down beside Selena so we’re facing each other.

“Are you nervous?” I ask her, stroking her cheek, trying to get back into the moment.

She gives me a careful nod. “That’s stupid, right? We’re married now.”

“Nothing you’re feeling is stupid.”

She smiles at me. “It’s just . . . been a while.”

I caress her upper arms, unable to stop touching her. She looks so sexy lying here in just her thong, looking at me like I’m the big bad wolf who’s ready to eat her up.

“We can go slow,” I murmur, my lips on hers.

“Okay.” She nods, kissing me back.

In the moonlit room, we lie side by side, our arms and legs intertwined, kissing for a long time. My tongue explores her mouth and she matches my eager pace, meeting me lick for lick. Her tongue tastes of champagne, and I’m having a hell of a time holding myself back from stripping off her panties and diving between her legs. The taste I had last night wasn’t enough. When it comes to Selena, nothing can ever be enough.

A sound of frustration rises up her throat. “We don’t have to go that slow.”

“No?” I chuckle. Thank fucking God. I peel her thong down her legs and toss it over the side of the bed. “My kind of woman.”

I shift closer and part her legs, sliding her top knee over my hip, so she’s open for me. Then I rub the head of my cock over her clit, coating myself in her warmth and making her moan at the contact.

“That feels so good, Justin,” she cries, circling her hips, pushing herself closer.

“Need to make sure you’re ready for me.”

I bury my face against her neck, breathing in her familiar scent while I push one long finger inside her. She’s snug, and I take my time adding another finger before slowly withdrawing.

She reaches up to palm my cheek, feeling the stubble on my jaw. Her eyes never leave mine as I pump my fingers in and out.

“I want you, Justin.”

Her voice is just a whisper, and when I look in her eyes, I see the amount of courage it takes her to admit that. She’s been so strong, so resolute for so long, that sex will only complicate our business arrangement. I have no idea what changed her mind. Okay, so I have some idea—it could have been that orgasm I delivered the other night. There’s plenty more where that came from.

Just do it. “I know, baby. Soon. Nice and easy . . .”

I line myself up, shuddering at how warm and soft her wet opening feels on the tip of my cock. Easing in just an inch, I bite back a groan. Her body grips mine so tightly, it’s perfection.

Everything inside me wants to pump her full of my cum and watch her squirm, breathless as she comes down from the multiple orgasms I know I can give her. Instead my brain is screaming at me to stop this. To tell her the truth.

“Wait,” she says, placing one hand on my chest.

I’m almost relieved when she stops us. “What’s wrong?”

“Don’t we need a condom? I’m not on birth control.”

“I . . .”

My heart is pounding and I feel light-headed, almost dizzy. Whether it’s because I’m desperate to feel her around me, or because I’m not cut out for the deception and devastation that lies ahead, I have no idea.

“I can’t do this,” I bite out.

“What? Why not?” Selena sits up, peering down at me with confusion all over her features.

I look away. “I just can’t,” I repeat uselessly, unable to think of anything else.

“If this is about the condoms, I’ll run down to the drugstore. It’ll take ten minutes. Fifteen tops.” Her voice rises in concern.

I shake my head. “I’m sorry. I’m suddenly not feeling well.”

That’s not a total lie; my stomach is certainly churning. I climb out of bed and grab my boxers from the floor, slipping them on while Selena scowls at me.

“What the hell, Justin?”

I don’t reply; I just grab my pillow from the bed and head to the couch. It’s going to be a long fucking night.

• • •

“So let me get this straight?” Sterling says around a mouthful of pancakes. “You feigned a headache like a bitter old housewife instead of fucking her?”

I jab my fork at my eggs, stabbing the runny yolks, my appetite gone. Of course I wasn’t sick last night. It was an attack of shame and regret.

“I couldn’t do it.”

Sterling shakes his head. “Of course you couldn’t. You need to stop behaving like a grunting caveman and talk with her about the contract. Use your words and have a real conversation about this. Which has been my position since the wedding, I’ll remind you.” He waves his fork at me for emphasis.

“Yeah, yeah. Shut it.” I take a sip of my tea while Sterling continues eating. At least one of us has an appetite.

After a sleepless night spent tossing and turning on the couch, I got up early and asked Sterling out to breakfast before work. We’ve never met up so early before, but he practically jumped at the invitation. He knew from the start that my arranged marriage was going to implode, and I think the bastard just wants a front-row seat.

“I don’t even know if she likes kids, if she wants kids,” I muse out loud.

“Yeah, that’s a problem.”

Damn him for always being the voice of reason. He makes all my conundrums sound so simple and obvious.

What I’m starting to realize is that there’s the spark of something more between Selena and me. I can’t deceive any woman about this, but especially not Selena. She isn’t just a means to an end. We can have the seeds of a real relationship here, and I’m not ready to fuck up that possibility.

At the same time, though . . . the fate of our entire company is still at stake. How do I protect both Selena and Tate & Cane? How do I convince her?

I toss some cash onto the table and stand, unable to stomach any more. “I’ve got to get to the office. Thanks for the chat.”

“Anytime you need a therapy session, I’m here.” Smiling, Sterling gives me a wave before digging back into his pancakes.

When I arrive at work, I go to the one place I know Selena won’t find me.

“Hey, Rosita,” I call, clearing off a countertop in the mailroom and sitting down.

“I’ve missed you, mi amor,” she says, wheeling a cart full of packages over. As she approaches, she makes a tsking sound under her breath. Then she stops in front of me and runs her thumb under my eye. “You don’t look well. These dark circles aren’t normally here.”

I shrug. “I didn’t get much sleep last night.”

“Oh?” She gives me a knowing smile.

“No, nothing like that.” I guess I need to preface my statement; otherwise, people are likely to think I was burning up the sheets with my blushing bride. We are newlyweds, after all. “I slept on the couch last night.”

Her expression instantly falls. Frowning, she gives my cheek a pat. Then she lowers herself into the chair across from me. “Tell Mama Rosie all about it.”

“Things between me and Selena are good . . . they’re just kind of complicated.”

“Complicated how?” Rosita raises her eyebrows.

“How did you know you wanted kids?”

From her surprised expression, that’s clearly not the topic she was expecting. “I don’t know. I guess I always just knew from the time I was small that I wanted to be a mother.”

I nod. Makes sense. I think women just know. They have that maternal instinct, that ticking biological clock. Only I don’t know if Selena feels that way.

“Do you want children? Is that what this is about?” Rosita asks in her calm, yet confident voice.

I have always wanted at least one kid, hopefully two. But this situation isn’t about what either of us want. Our know-it-all, matchmaking fathers thought it best that we start a family in order to take over their massive corporation, and now I’m feeling the pressure of putting a bun in Selena’s oven ASAP.

Does Rosita really need all that background information, though?

Deciding to keep this conversation as simple as possible, I just answer, “Yeah. But I don’t know how Selena feels.”

Rosita smiles warmly at me and rises to pat the back of my hand. “You have plenty of time. The ink is barely dry on your marriage certificate. Enjoy life with just the two of you for a few years first. Once kids come, you can never go back. This time is precious.”

The sour feeling in the pit of my stomach intensifies. Great . . . yet another reason why everything in my life is fucked. Not what I need to hear right now. But Rosita doesn’t know that, so I nod and force a smile at her, as if her wise advice perfectly hit the spot.

“Thanks for the talk, Rosie. I better get back to work.”

“Anytime,” she calls after me.

Now I just have to figure out what the fuck I’m supposed to do.

Chapter Eight

Selena

What the hell happened last night? I worked so hard to psych myself up for sex, and Justin was the one who got cold feet? Unbelievable. The man can never stop flirting with me or bragging about how amazing he is in bed, but when the time came to put his money where his mouth was . . . actually, his mouth didn’t go anywhere either.

And I can’t even ask Justin about it, because I can’t find him. I woke up to an empty bed, with no sign of my husband anywhere in the apartment. He wasn’t in his office when I arrived at work either.

All damn day, I’ve been trying to catch him alone. He won’t answer any of my calls or texts or e-mails, and his secretary keeps saying “oh, bad luck, you just missed him” every time I stop by her desk.

Is it really bad luck, though? Is his jam-packed schedule today just an annoying coincidence? Or . . . is he avoiding me on purpose?

I stomp down the little voice in the back of my head that whispers, He’s changed his mind about you. He finally came to his senses, realized what a huge mistake this relationship is. He regrets everything. He doesn’t want to touch you or even talk to you. That poisonous hiss sounds an awful lot like Brad, and I’m done with him for good.

But God, I’m still so confused and frustrated. I was all set to confront my sexual hang-ups, and then our showdown was canceled at the last possible second.

Dammit, I refuse to let my emotional effort go to waste. I’m going to be brave and get laid if it’s the last thing I do. But first, I’m going to find out why Justin suddenly abandoned ship last night. And if I can’t track down the slippery SOB at work, I’ll just corner him tonight. He has to come home sometime, right?

• • •

Just as I’m folding a sheet of office paper into a voodoo doll and preparing to repeatedly stab it in the crotch, Camryn swings by my office.

“Hey, what’s up?” I ask as she slides into the chair in front of my desk.

“Not much.” She shrugs. “I wanted to see if you wanted to grab an early lunch.”

I glance at the clock and see it’s only half past eleven, but yes, getting out of this building and escaping the rejection burning through my veins is exactly what I need. “I would eat dog shit right now if I meant I got an hour’s worth of girl time with you.”

Camryn’s cheery expression falls. “Well, I’m not real keen on eating dog shit, so why don’t you tell me what happened, sweetie?”

I huff out a sigh and rise to my feet. “I’ll tell you all about it over lunch.”

And I do. Over chicken strips and fries (nothing says comfort food like deep-fried anything dipped in generous amounts of ranch dressing), I lay it all out on the table. All my baggage. All the pain and hurt and doubt Justin caused me last night.

“He had me convinced that he wanted me, wooed me, was on his best, most charming behavior, and then bam! Nothing.” I lick the grease from my fingers and take a big gulp of soda to wash down my lunch.

“What a twat,” she grumbles, nodding to encourage me along.

“He slept on the couch and was gone before I got up this morning, so obviously he’s avoiding me like he knows he did something wrong.” I freeze, my straw halfway to my lips.

“What?” Camryn asks.

“Unless I’m the one who did something wrong.”

This earns me a confused look. “Do you think you did something wrong?”

I shrug. “Maybe I shouldn’t have told him that it had been so long.”

“Justin isn’t like that. He wouldn’t care.”

Camryn’s right. I replay the evening in my head. Dinner. Champagne. Dancing. Flirting. Laughing. Groping.

“Maybe I was too aggressive. I had my hand in his pants the second the door closed.” I push my hands into my hair, remembering how I acted, in all my horny glory. “The lock didn’t even click into place and I was all up in his business. I started giving him a blow job in the damn foyer of our apartment.”

“That’s hot,” she commented, taking another bite of her food. “What guy doesn’t want a blow job in the foyer?”

I don’t know. Apparently Justin. But he’s been practically begging to show me his dick . . . I frown, unsure if my actions last night somehow caused him to pull away.

She leans toward me, her eyes full of sweet pity. “Sweetie, if you’re sucking his dick, you can do it anywhere, anytime, and it’s okay. It’s almost a rule.”

The worst part of this whole situation is the growing seed of doubt he left. What’s wrong with me? Why wasn’t I good enough?

“What happened next?” she asks.

“He took me into the bedroom and stripped me down. We were kissing.” God, the kissing. The man can do incredible things with his tongue. “And then he was rubbing his . . . anaconda . . . all over my . . . honey pot, and I mentioned something about a condom.”

“Hmm.” She looks as perplexed as I feel. “Please tell me you didn’t use the word honey pot?”

Shaking my head, I continue. “No. But maybe it was me. Maybe my vagina’s ugly?”

The guy seated next to us whips his head in my direction so fast, I’m surprised he doesn’t get whiplash.

Camryn pats my hand. “There is absolutely nothing wrong with your vagina. I’m sure of it.”

“Then why, Cam? Why? Why would he do that? Because I don’t believe for one second that he was all of a sudden ill.”

She shakes her head. “No, neither do I.” She sets her fork down next to her Cobb salad. “Do you really want to know what I think?”

My stomach tightening, I nod.

She wipes her mouth with her napkin and leans forward. “I think it hit Justin that this unique situation with you isn’t what he’s used to. This isn’t a random hookup, or a booty call that he can duck out on in the morning. Whether you guys like it or not, sex between the two of you is going to mean something.”

I frown and chew on my thumbnail. “In what way?”

“You’re a married couple now.”

I roll my eyes. “It’s a business agreement. An arranged marriage. And I proposed we be fuck buddies since we’re stuck together. It’s not some romantic till-death-do-us-part, lovey-dovey marriage.”

Camryn holds up her palms. “All I’m saying is sex for men isn’t just physical like we sometimes like to believe. And I think something spooked Justin—got into his head.”

“That’s ridiculous.” But is it? Aren’t those some of the same things I was worried about? My whole objection for us having naked fun in the first place?

“Ridiculous or not, I want you to know that his backing out had nothing to do with you, and everything to do with something going on inside his head.”

“So, what do I do now?”

She grins wickedly. “That all depends. Do you still want to bang him?”

Stupid question. Is the value of pi 3.14? Does my husband have a horse cock? Yes to all of the above.

“More than anything.” I grin back at her, my expression equally cheeky.

Camryn cracks up laughing. “Okay, then here’s what you do . . .”

• • •

Later, back at the office, I’m working away when my head snaps up. Walking past my window—was that Justin just now? I jump out of my chair and peek around the doorjamb. Yep . . . I’d recognize that ass anywhere. He turns the corner and I follow him at what I hope is a casual distance. Time to confront him, just like Camryn suggested.

When I reach Justin’s office, his door is shut and locked. But the lights are on and I can see the silhouette of his head through the frosted glass window. It doesn’t look like he’s on the phone or having a private meeting with anyone.

I give his door three loud raps. “Hey, Justin.”

No answer. So he’s being stubborn. Too bad; I can be stubborn too. I knock again and call, “I know you’re in there. I need to talk to you.”

The door flies open. Justin looks irritated. Well, good—I guess that makes two of us.

“Something better be on fire,” he snaps.

I keep my eyes steady on his. “Sorry, but no. And we should talk in private.”

His mouth presses into a firm line, but he steps aside to let me walk into his office.

I shut the door behind me and turn to face him. “So . . . about last night. Care to tell me what happened?”

He folds his arms over his chest. “Weren’t you there? You already know.”

“No, I really don’t.” Straightening my back—I can’t match his height, but I’ll still try—I plant my hands on my hips. “The date, the dancing, the wooing . . . and then the bailing.”

“I told you I wasn’t feeling well.”

“Really? Because you don’t look sick to me right now.” And if he was sick last night, then why sleep on the couch? No way. Not buying it.

Justin throws up his hands. “Maybe it was something I ate at dinner. Maybe I just got a headache. What’s with the damn third degree?”

Then he drops his gaze. It was only for a second, but I saw it, and I know evasive maneuvers when I see them. So I press harder.

“It really seemed to me like you were scared of having sex.”

He blinks, his mouth open, then forces a laugh. “What? We’re still talking about me, right? You’re always sniping at me for . . . how did you put it? Fucking half of New York City?”

“But I’m not your typical conquest. I’m your wife. Correct me if I’m wrong, but your style tends more toward ‘wham, bam, thank you, ma’am’ than ‘until death do us part.’” I pause to raise my eyebrows at him for emphasis. “Last night wasn’t going to be just a casual screw where you forgot my name five minutes later. I think you backed off because you were worried that sex would make things too real between us. You’re scared you might feel something for me.”

For a moment, he just stares at me with a look I can’t read. It’s wry, almost bitter, but at the same time, it almost seems somehow . . . relieved?

When Justin finally replies, his voice is much calmer. “What a bunch of horseshit. You’re reading way too much into this. I already told you why I stopped last night, so quit inventing crazy stories.”

I blink, surprised by how much his words sting. He calls the idea that he might love me . . . a bunch of horseshit?

But what do I care? I don’t love him. Romance was never part of this marriage, and it’s not part of our bedroom experiments either. So why does his vehement denial feel so . . . disappointing? I was just trying to get him to acknowledge what Camry and I discussed, that sex between us might seem like a big deal, but it’s not. We can keep it casual.

Disguising my twinge of hurt, I reply briskly, “Well, if you’re feeling better, then let’s reschedule sex for tonight. I already picked up some condoms at the drugstore on my way here this morning.” I watch his face carefully. “Unless there’s a problem with that?”

He frowns, but says, “Sounds good to me.”

“Great. See you at home.” I open his door and leave, heading back for my own office. Hopefully I can get some work done now that I’ve set my personal life straight again.

Chapter Nine

Justin

The conversation with Selena at work today is still ringing through my ears when I make it home just before five. I skipped out on my last meeting, asking my assistant to cover for me, because I know Selena will be expecting sex tonight. And I know I need to figure out a way to tell her everything. The contract. The bouncing baby we’re supposed to make.

She thought I was scared of having sex because I was worried about feeling something for her. But she’s wrong. I already feel a lot for her. I always have.

She was adamant. Tonight. Sex. Period. Even picked up some condoms. What the fuck am I going to do? Fake a latex allergy? No way in hell will she buy that. It’s such a stupid idea; I can’t even believe I’m thinking it. I’m so rattled, so panicked, all sorts of crazy shit is pouring through my head.

I kick off my shoes and stow them in the small entry closet. Loosening my tie, I head into the bathroom, where I stare at my reflection.

When I signed those papers, it seemed like the right thing to do. Save the company? Check. Get a shot with the woman I’ve always dreamed about? Check. And make a baby? No problem, right? But now that this is all happening, it’s become real, and I’m fucking losing it. Losing my edge.

Just over a week into our marriage and I’m already the world’s worst husband. Rosita was right about the dark circles under my eyes. I look like hell. I splash some cool water on my cheeks, hoping it might help. No such luck. I still look confused and tired and scared.

Well, fuck that. I straighten my shoulders. That’s not me. I’m not some wimpy little boy who’s too afraid to take care of his woman. And that’s what this is, isn’t it? Selena has needs. And I’m supposed to be the one to take care of those needs.

I have two choices when Selena gets home tonight. I can come clean with everything, tell her about the heir clause, show her the section in the contract she missed. Or . . . I can keep my fucking trap shut and go along with what she wants. No-strings sex.

We’re just beginning to click. She’s just beginning to trust me. If I fuck her tonight and she enjoys herself—which I have no doubts she will—that’s a big step toward bringing us closer as a couple. And isn’t that what we need if we really are to parent together? I think that’s what Rosita was trying to say today, that Selena and I need to enjoy ourselves. We’re in our honeymoon stage of marriage, after all. Baby-making can come later. After our relationship is strong enough that the heir discussion won’t bring it crashing down around us.

If safe sex is what she wants, with condoms galore, I’ll do it. If I don’t, I’ll arouse her suspicions. What choice do I have? The only thing I can do for now is buy more time to think. I just need to shut up and do my husbandly duty until I can figure out the best way to broach the topic of babies with her.

Glancing one last time in the mirror, I exhale a deep breath. Just go with it, man. This can be good for both of us. It can be the start of something real. For now, my wife wants to be fuck buddies, and I’m sure as hell not turning my nose up at that opportunity.

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