#but god. the idea of being able to work on my musicals with a professional mentor all summer would be amazing

[cod-dump]

Can we see y/n getting drunk nd boldly flirting everything they see? have 141 along with Rudy, alejandro nd Konig see her chaoticness 🤣 Have a good day! and love your work too 💜💜

Yeeeessssssss! Personally I’m a clown when drunk

Also I hope you dont mind the worst pickup lines that I can think of ;)

________

It was Price’s idea to go out for drinks, so it was his fault that they were in this situation. He bought the first round of shots, and it all lead from there. Y/N was reluctant to drink but once she got started a whole new side of her that no one had seen before revealed itself.

Rudy and Alejandro were the first victims. She sat in Alejandro’s lap without warning, wrapping her arms around his shoulders.

“Ya know, Mr. Vargas. They say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. Well, they clearly never been on your lap before.”

Rudy chokes on his drink and Alejandro’s jaw just drops. Soap and Gaz laugh loudly from wherever they were in the room. Y/N keeps eye contact with Alejandro as she takes his drink and downs it before sliding off his lap and moving over to Rudy.

“Rudy! I have a question for you. Besides being sexy and kicking ass professionally, what do you do for a living?”

Rudy is unable to respond due to shock as Y/N leans close to him, staring at him for a moment before blinking and leaning back.

“Sorry, you’re so hot that I forgot my pickup line.”

Rudy blushes despite the horribleness of the pickup line. Y/N grins and goes for his drink which was left undefended by this point. She takes a sip before choking some, “Oh my god that’s straight tequila!”

Y/N gags as she steps away. She composes herself for a moment, noticing that the music wasn’t to her liking. So she went to the bar to demand that they turn it up. After a moment of harassing the bartender someone comes up to her and gently pulls her away.

Y/N grins at the sight of Price.

“Private L/N, how about you come sit down.”

“Only if the seat is your lap, Captain~”

Her attention immediately goes to his hat and she snatches it off his head before he can get his response out.

“Does the cowboy hat rule apply to you? What do you say, are you up for some tactical insertion?”

Price has to clear his throat at that, unable to look her in the eye. Y/N cackles before running off with his hat. She ends up at a table where Gaz and Soap are. They grin when they see her and offer her a seat between them.

“Someone’s causing some mayhem, eh bonnie?”

Y/N grins and slaps Price’s hat down on the table in front of them. Gaz snorts, “Looks like we owe Horangi money. He did say if anyone was going to be able to take Price’s hat that it would be you.”

Y/N stretches out, “What can I say? I’m the favorite!”

Soap takes a swig of his drink before leaning closer to Y/N, “Say, wanna know why they call me a ‘drill’ sergeant?”

Y/N leans into him, “Only if you plan on putting your gun in my holster ~”

Gaz laughs, “God that’s terrible!”

Y/N whips around to face him, “Feeling neglected, Garrick? Need help dishonorably discharging?”

Gaz can’t help but laugh, color forming on his cheeks. Y/N moves closer to him, “When I’m general, I expect your private to be standing at attention.”

Soap wheezes at that one and Gaz flushes red as he laughs. Y/N joins in on the laughter and grabs Soap’s drink when he wasn’t looking. Their peace is short lived when Y/N sees König and Alex. The grin on her face was comparable to the Cheshire Cat. She excuses herself from Gaz and Soap who were both struggling to breathe. Alex sees her coming first and makes a “oh shit” face. Clearly they were aware of the chaos she had been causing all night.

“Hello, boys!”

König looks at Y/N and visibly braces himself. Y/N knew he would be very easy to fluster so she focused on Alex first.

“Alex, are you aware that Uncle Sam isn’t the only one that wants you?”

Alex forces himself to keep a straight face. Y/N frowns at this. That won’t do. She steps closer and lowers her voice, “Mind if I get a peak at your little battle buddy?”

Alex has a hard time keeping himself from smiling at the horrible joke. Y/N smiles sweetly and steps even closer, “Permission to enter friendly lines?”

Alex gives, “Permission granted.”

Y/N wraps her arms around Alex’s waist and hugs him. Her head was buzzing and she needed a moment to lean on something. Alex sighs and wraps his arms around her shoulders.

“Who knew you had such a wild side.”

The sound of König’s voice seems to restart Y/N’s engine and she pulls herself away from Alex (much to his dismay) and turns her attention on the large man. König’s eyes widen and he steps back, unsure of what was about to come out of Y/N’s mouth.

“Is that a gun in your pants or are you just happy to see me?”

One shot and König was down. Y/N couldn’t see his face due to his mask but his eyes told her everything she needed to know. Plus he immediately covered his crotch with his hands in response. Y/N laughs and is about to say something else despite knowing König couldn’t handle another pickup line (no matter how cringey they were) when the sound of heavy boots gets her attention.

She turns and there stands Ghost. She was honestly surprised considering she was unaware he even came with them to the pub since he was incredibly antisocial.

“Lieutenant!”

“You have been trouble all night. Captain told me to come deal with you.”

Anyone else would’ve known that the jig was up the moment they saw Ghost. But Y/N was a different story. Alcohol wasn’t called liquid courage for nothing. She looked at Ghost’s hulking frame and saw a challenge. She grins and Ghost’s eyes narrow in response. This was going to be fun.

She steps forward daringly and hooks a finger through one of the belt loops on his pants and attempts to pull him closer. He doesn’t budge but that doesn’t deter her.

“Say, LT. How about we ditch this joint and go have some private drills. Just you and me… Unless you want a third~”

Ghost scoffs and grabs the back of Y/N’s shirt and starts to lead her through the bar.

“Is this a yes?”

Ghost says nothing and keeps walking. Y/N grins and grabs a drink from passerby and downs it before Ghost could take it from her. Her energy was finally weaning and she started to drag her feet. Ghost catches her as she trips.

“You’re so strong~!”

Ghost goes to say something before Y/N promptly passes out right there. Ghost groans and picks her up and throws her over his shoulder as Price walks over.

“I think it’s time we left.”

“Definitely… did she tell you what she did with me hat?”

Ghost let’s out the world’s shortest laugh before turning and leaving the pub. It would be a miracle if Y/N remembered anything from tonight, let alone what she did with Price’s hat.

#thanks for the ask <3 #cod mwii #john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #modern warfare ii #john price #call of duty #modern warefare ii #alejandro vargas #rodolfo parra #kyle gaz garrick #könig #x reader #fic #fanfic

[clobbo]

Mother of the Year

A scene for the end of S13 Ep 8 as Sister Julienne comes to terms with her award. Obviously Shulienne, and also a short visit from Miss Higgins.

Once the photographer had left the hall, Sister Julienne began to feel a little bit more relaxed. Posing for a camera on a stage had never been something she’d done before, and to be honest, it wasn’t the most comfortable experience. She was grateful for the youth and vibrancy of Trixie and Joyce who seemed to take it all in their stride and take her under their wing in that way.

The night itself had been superb. Sister Julienne had enjoyed listening to and relishing the stories and tributes to the mothers of Poplar. Heart-soaring stories of love and care. Motherhood was something she was surrounded by in her work, although so very often she just saw the very beginnings as it was blossoming. She spent less time with mothers in full bloom once they had found their stride. It had been such a celebration to hear amazing stories from around the district of mothers who had meant so much to so many people.

When Sister Monica Joan and Sister Veronica had got up on stage she had no idea what was coming. She was surprised to see them there as she’d not been made her aware of any plans. And as they began to speak she thought perhaps they might be talking about their dear friend Shelagh...although Shelagh’s children had already given their own tribute. Hearing her own name though - well to say she hadn’t expected it to was an understatement.

Aside from the fact she wasn’t actually biologically a mother, she had never really taken into account that she could be seen as one. She was simply doing God’s work...which was to love, as best as she could, all that she came into contact with.

Laying her flowers down on the table, Sister Julienne smiled and greeted the many well wishers and congratulations coming from those around her. Comments and congratulations swarming around her. So deserved. Thank you, Sister. No-one better. None of us could have said it better. We have been so grateful for you, Sister.

She smiled, and nodded. And really, had little to say in response, other than “It has always been my pleasure to serve you all.”

She removed the rosette from her habit and placed it next to the bouquet on the table - it seemed frivolous and wasn’t really in keeping with a life of humility. Around her her friends, colleagues and community were celebrating the whole event, music had started and some of the children were dancing. There was true joy.

Sister Julienne smiled to herself and took a brief look around before making her way towards the exit.

* * *

Sister Julienne inhaled deeply, taking in the cool evening air. She already felt instantly more peaceful by stepping outside and closed her eyes with her face to the stars. God was good. God was very good.

She became aware then of a presence on the bench just to the side of her, and she turned to see Miss Higgins staring a little less peacefully into the middle distance. Sister Julienne immediately felt her heart pierced with sorrow. Miss Higgins had faced so much in the last few days that Sister Julienne could hardly believe she was still standing, let alone able to attend this event with the composure she had. She took a seat next to her on the bench, both women sat facing forward not turning to look at one another.

There was silence for a while, and Sister Julienne did not know what words she could offer, if any. Over the last few days Miss Higgins had been a semi-frequent visitor to Nonnatus, Nurse Crane offering her meals and the general solace of being around others. The pair had a firm friendship, which Sister Julienne could see was of enormous comfort to Miss Higgins at this time. She, however, didn’t know the woman well despite having worked together now for years. Their acquaintance had been almost strictly professional up to this point.

“The air is very refreshing,” Sister Julienne said quietly. “It is quite stuffy in there.”

Miss Higgins nodded. “Congratulations,” she offered in response quietly, genuinely and tentatively.

Sister Julienne shook her head, smiling. “It is quite remarkable, and not a title I feel in the least bit deserving of.”

“People want to show their regard for you, Sister.”

“I understand that. And I am not ungrateful of the gesture in the slightest. But it doesn’t sit comfortably with me....at least not at the moment. Perhaps that will change.”

“Motherhood...being a mother I think...” Miss Higgins began, her eyes still fixed ahead of her. “Well, I think it means a lot of different things. And I think to be one, is such a privilege.”

Miss Higgins looked down and swallowed any threatened emotion. She wasn’t likely to lose her composure, she had always been a resolute, firm and an in control woman. But Sister Julienne had felt the energy shift around her, a sadness pressed in to them both. She rested her hand on Miss Higgins arm, a touch most unusual for the pair of them to experience together.

“It most certainly is,” she squeezed her arm. “And it is not a privilege that will go away, or fade or disappear, Millicent. It will always be with you.”

Miss Higgins looked up at that moment, her eyes damp and reflecting the surrounding light from the hall. She nodded, agreeing with Sister Julienne. “Thank you, Sister.” She squeezed the nuns hand in gratitude and stood up making her way to Nurse Crane’s car where her friend was waiting for her.

Sister Julienne gave a wave of acknowledgement to Nurse Crane as the pair headed back in the direction of Nonnatus House and Sister Julienne leant back on the bench closing her eyes.

I cannot understand the meaning in this. I love these people, this community, my work...but I don’t need the recognition. I would always have continued to do the work joyfully and to love as best as I am able if no one would ever have recognised it. It is what You have called me to do. There are so many genuine mothers who deserve this recognition. Mothers who have sacrificed their lives for their children, who have changed their world to make sure their children have everything they have ever needed. All I have ever done is do exactly what I was called to do...hardly seems like a sacrifice.

“Penny for them?” came Shelagh’s voice as she sat down next to Sister Julienne.

Sister Julienne smiled. She knew Shelagh would be here with her at some point this evening. She’d noticed Shelagh keeping a quiet eye in the background on her, provided her a small smile when the attention ramped up and she began to feel uncomfortable.

“I was just taking it all in,” the nun explained. “Letting the idea of it all...settle.”

“It isn’t a bad thing to receive praise, you know,” Shelagh offered quietly, holding the rosette that Sister Julienne had left on the table, knowing that the idea of praise and attention would be niggling somewhere in Sister Julienne’s thoughts.

“No. But I don’t need it, I haven’t asked for it...”

Shelagh chuckled quietly. “I think that’s the point and what got you the nomination!”

Shelagh shuffled along the bench closer to her Sister and took her hand, resting her head onto her shoulder. The peaceful surroundings only slightly interrupted by the distant murmur of chatter in the hall from the celebrations inside. The wide open starry sky above them, Sister Julienne tilted her head so it rested on Shelagh’s, the pair sat next to each other, leaning on one another.

“I love looking at the stars,” Shelagh began. “It reminds me of how vast it all is, and how delicate and intricate we are. How, in all of the world, we are here in this one space. We could be anywhere, but we were placed here...to do God’s work...to live the life he wanted us to, right here.”

She paused for a moment, hearing the slow breathing of Sister Julienne, totally relaxing in that thought.

“You didn’t need an award tonight, it’s true. You don’t need it because you are already loved and cherished right here in this place. But, how are we all to repay such love that you’ve shown? It’s not the title, or the flowers, or the rosette...it’s our honour and our privilege to show our love and appreciation to you. And this is the way we were able to do that. There is no doubt to me that you were called to be a mother right here in this community and to all these people...In all of the universe, in all of the world, this is exactly as it was always meant to be.”

“Being a mother is a privilege...” Sister Julienne repeated from her earlier conversation.

Shelagh smiled. “Well, yes. But it’s also hard work. And it’s joyful. And it hurts. And it’s realising you don’t know what you’re doing, but doing it somehow anyway out of love. It’s disappointing. And it’s rewarding. It makes you furious...and it makes you love fiercely.”

“Yes, I suppose that does sound rather familiar,” reflecting on everything she had felt whilst working in the Poplar community.

Shelagh sat up right to look directly at her Sister, emotion beginning to etch its way into her voice. “Sister, having being cared for by you has been the greatest privilege I have known. You have taught me so much, cared for me so patiently and kindly, sat with me in my darkest hour and offered me your wisdom and your love at every turn. The privilege and the honour have always been mine.”

“Oh Shelagh...” Sister Julienne took her friend in her arms and kissed her gently on the cheek. “I could never have loved you any more than if you were my own flesh and blood.”

The two women looked at each other, smiling amongst their tears. Shelagh opened her hand to display the rosette from earlier. “May I?”

Sister Julienne nodded, and Shelagh reattached the rosette to the habit, placing her hands on the nuns shoulders and beamed. “I could never have asked for more in my life. And I could never have been more proud.”

Mother of the Year

#call the midwife #sister julienne #shelagh turner #shulienne #millicent higgins #ctm fanfic

[sparklyshakespeare]

Hey, kinda serious question but you do playacting for a living right? What was your process to get there? Did you major in theatre? Did you have connections? What is the field like? Competition? How talented do you have to be? etc. etc.

HIII i would LOVE to answer this question!!

to start with, i’m actually still in high school!!! i’m a sophomore :-) i’ve been doing theatre since i was 3, professionally since i was 6!

basically everyone in my chosen family is a theatre person/met my family through theatre, so i was kinda sorta indoctrinated into it in a way?! my mom and god-mom put me and my god-cousin in a like acting workshop for babies thing and i LOVED it and the rest is history! our old house had essentially a stage in the parlor and i’d get up there and belt out the shrek soundtrack <3

my mom was a theatre professor/director (and is a playwright now!) and one of her old co-workers was holding auditions for a professional production of annie. i did NOT get cast in that, but they ended up calling me in to audition for the children’s ensemble in a production of evita! i did get cast in that :-) and came back to the same theatre to do carousel the next summer

from there, i kept auditioning professionally while doing theatre camps/pay-to-plays, etc. and while i don’t think these are necessary (you’re probablyyy better off getting training from an individual vocal/acting coach), they are SO MUCH FUN and definitely helped me to get comfortable auditioning/going in front of an audience!

i took a year off to focus on film, and then when i was 11 i ended up booking my first professional LEAD lead in Fun Home <3 it was an incredible experience, and i even got nominated for my city’s version of the Tony’s which was such a freaking honor 🥹

then covid hit. womp womp! but i was able to still do some virtual professional theatre, and it was incredibly nice to have 2 years off to focus on my training! unfourtnately i did in fact receive a visit from the puberty fairy over this time, so i found myself suddenly unable to play the roles/sing the songs i had before. this was a huuuge struggle and left me a lil confused & upset for a while - i thought i was stuck not being able to work until i was an adult. too old for the kid roles and too young for the adult ones!!!

i ended up being lucky enough to work mainly backstage for 1/2 a season (after volunteering with the director i worked for at a theatre summer camp for itty bitties) which was super fun! that same director then cast me in an ensemble/understudying role, and that ensemble/understudy role led to me booking great comet!

TO SUMMARIZE (sorry i love to talk!!)

1. see the long wordyyy post above :)

2. still in HS, but i’ll probably end up majoring in either acting or musical theatre!

3. yes kinda sorta! but most of the connections i made through working on other shows - my biggest piece of advice is BE KIND to everyone, spread some sparkle wherever you go, and that hard work/compassion will always get you far

4. in my city, it’s definitely a tight-knit community and once you’re in you’re in! we’re all friends which is a very lovely thing, though i think it can be hard to break into. keep auditioning for everything you can!!!

5. honestly hard for me to speak on this one because most of the time i’m not competing with adults for lead roles! i will say (even though it’s a teeny bit trite) what’s yours won’t miss you - if a director has a certain vision no matter HOWW talented you are you won’t get cast if you don’t fit it, it’s not personal! everyone has their own niche and it’s perfect and unique as it is <3 there are roles that you’ll be the absolute perfect fit for!!!!

6. this is a HARD one! the idea of talent is so objective i’m not sure if i’m qualified to speak on it, but i will say there are definitely some skills that will help you!

- a VERY basic understanding of how to read music

- being able to play an instrument :)

- being able to pick up choreography fast enough that you could learn a 32 count for an audition

- the true and genuine belief that you are ENOUGH and loved, and that your talent shines in all you do

if you have any more questions lmk!! happy to ramble (and talk about myself 😇:P) whenever it’s wanted!!!

[3terna15unshin3]

Then Because She Goes

You fracture light again (Ooh), I love you, oh, love you

★ Chapter 10 of 15, 5233 words

★ Matty Healy x Original Female Character

★ warnings: !!! mature content, minors please do not interact !!!, smut, oral (male receiving), alcohol consumption

<< 9

24 May, 2019

Middlesbrough Station was one that Este couldn't ever imagine herself needing to pass through. But, Radio 1 Big Weekend being held at Stewart Park that year gave her a reason.

She had originally planned on only coming in for their set on Sunday night and spending it there with Matty. But, he pointed out that they didn't have any commitments on the first two days of the festival, suggesting she come on the 24th and stay with them for three nights instead. Though eager to see him again and in favour of the idea, Este was paranoid of intruding or distracting him from work. So, she humbly attempted to deny taking up too much of his time off and persisted with her former plan.

Of course, Matty refused to let her say no. He was offering, after all, and wanted to see her—a bit confused that it seemed like she was turning him down. But, after Este insisted that she was just trying to allow him the rest he deserved after a crazy couple of months (and agreed to take the train in on Friday morning), he felt better.

It's bold of you to assume I can manage us being in the same country for the first time in months and be able to keep my hands off you, read a text from him when the plans got straightened out and she made her way from her flat to Manchester Victoria. His words made her cheeks flushed in the already warm May weather.

She wheeled a small suitcase through the station and eventually got to her seat on the train. The almost three-hour long ride ahead of her consisted of Este dozing in and out of sleep and listening to the small selection of music she had downloaded on Spotify. Towards the end of her journey, her bladder begged a trip to the cramped toilets to relieve the wee she'd been holding.

Este washed her hands thoroughly after flushing and assessed herself in the mirror. The dilemma of wanting to dress comfortably for the multiple hours sat in a train seat—but also knowing Matty would be picking her up once she reached Middlesbrough—kept her mind busy when getting ready that morning. Ultimately, she decided on dressing up. Silver buttons ran down the centre of her 70s-esque denim jumper dress. Paired with white socks and burgundy loafers around her feet, the outfit was classy. Professional, even. But, the garment hugging her waist tightly, its v-cut neckline, and the sight of her tan legs on display still made Matty's breath quicken when he opened a photo that showed up in his notification centre from Este.

Flipping him off to avoid being too serious, the picture somehow captured her full body in the small toilet mirror. Her back camera pointed at it, phone gripped in hand, posing with her weight leaning on one hip. She stuck her tongue out playfully and squeezed an eye shut to wink at her reflection. The message that accompanied the impromptu mirror selfie read, I'll be yours in 20 x, heightening Matty's excitement even more. Good god, he replied shortly and simply.

With her knee bouncing up and down with anticipation, the train finally slowed to a stop to bring her into the unfamiliar town. She gathered her things and hurriedly stepped onto the Middlesbrough platform, scanning for a rogue Matty Healy within the fairly busy station. He watched the flood of people surround Este, who he caught sight of right away, and saw her brows furrow and eyes squint to look for him. The couple of seconds it took before she recognised Matty made him chuckle.

"Matty!" she exclaimed when her eyes finally locked with his.

Speed-walking over and almost tripping a teenage boy with her rolling luggage dragging behind her, Este forcefully wrapped her arms around him. He hugged back tightly. She smelled exactly the way Matty remembered. Sunglasses covered his eyes and a hat was atop the curly brunette mess on his head, but neither could hide the ecstatic expression his face displayed.

"Can I kiss you?" he whispered.

"Please," Este agreed, pulling away from their embrace and planting her lips on his.

They melted into this kiss as the months of yearning came to a close. Este smiled against his mouth. It was easy to underestimate how much they missed each other until what they'd missed so much was right in front of them again. Matty moved his hand from her waist up to her face, cupping it gently and running his thumb over her skin a couple of times as they broke apart and studied each other's faces.

It seemed like she'd gotten a haircut. The layers fell shorter and there were more of them. There was dark powder smudged right above her eyelashes and her lips tasted like mint with a pinkier appearance.

"You look breathtaking," Matty muttered, looking her up and down. "Did you dress up all nice just for me?"

Este hid her face in his neck, embarrassed to know that she did spend extra time on her hair and makeup and did take shockingly long to decide on an outfit.

A car was waiting for them and they walked hand-in-hand to it. Matty rolled her luggage for her, placing it in the boot, but stopped her when she reached for the handle to get in. "He's just going to take your bag to the hotel. We're gonna walk." he interjected.

"Oh, okay." Este replied, agreeing to his instruction but confused and backing away from the vehicle. "Why?"

The hint of suspicion in her voice made Matty laugh. "I'm taking you out first."

She raised her eyebrows and smiled. "Are you?"

"I mean, yes, but don't get your hopes up too high. It's nothing special—I just found a couple of shops that look cool and a cafe I think you'd like," he explained, taking her hand back into his and guiding her to start walking down the pavement.

Este shook her head at the fact that he was downplaying his efforts. "That sounds lovely."

He just smiled and hummed in fondness as they made their way to the first stop Matty had in mind. Their feet stepped in unison and the conversation filling the air was simple. With their frequent communication, not much catching up was needed to be done. But, because of the time they spent across the globe from one another, both craved the warmth of the other's skin. Out of comfort. Longing. When Este's hand wandered away to point at something in a shop window or scratch a tickle on her chin, it always migrated back to him.

A Bad Neighbour Records approached on their left after a few short minutes. "Down for some sifting?" asked Matty, coming to a stop and forcing her to as well.

"Always."

He stepped in after her and nodded to the worker who gave him a smile as they entered. Este let go of the couple of Matty's fingers she had linked with her pinky to begin flipping through by the first crate she was faced with. "Are you on the lookout for anything specific?" she wondered aloud.

"I might just buy a couple that I haven't heard of to be spontaneous, or something."

"You can't plan to be spontaneous. That's sort of the whole thing about spontaneity,"

"Shut up," Matty chuckled in defeat, moving on to the next crate. He began with the ones opposite from her, so he shuffled to his right and Este to her left, face-to-face with one another. "Is there any vinyl you've been wanting?"

She pulled a record out, flipping it to read the track listing on the back, only to drop it into the place she found it once again. Not that one, thought Este. "There's this album called Stranger In The Alps that would be lovely to own. By Phoebe Bridgers. I feel like it has the perfect sound to spin in late-spring, you know? So I've been thinking about that a lot."

"I keep forgetting you're a Phoebe Bridgers fan,"

"Duh. Are you?" Este innocently wondered.

Chuckling, Matty nodded his head. "Yeah, I am." he admitted and stepped to his right again, continuing to flip. "She's done some BV's for the new album, actually. Had her in the studio when we were in LA—she's a good friend of mine,"

Her eyes caught his immediately. "You're joking."

He laughed and apologised for never mentioning it, while walking around to her side of the product. A few clicks on his phone files led him to what he was looking for. Grabbing the airpods that sat in his front pocket, he stuck one into his ear and then offered the other to Este. "Want to hear some of it?"

She nodded eagerly, starting to hear the gentle acoustic guitar. "What's this one called?"

"Doesn't have a real name yet. The file's titled 'Jesus Christ 2005 God Bless America', but that's probably temporary, I suppose. Phoebe actually sang an entire verse, if you want to listen." he suggested, skipping forward by dragging his thumb along the playback line.

An expression of pure bliss struck her face. She held eye contact with him as the chorus came back around and his voice could be heard below Phoebe's. It was simple, but poignant. She found herself without anything worthy of saying to follow it once the volume faded out.

"Este? Good? Bad? Worst thing you've ever heard?"

Grabbing the airpod from her ear, she handed it to him to return it to its case. "God, I love her." It was all she could fathom to comment on.

"That's all you have to say? No 'Wow, you're a songwriting genius! Your new album will be the best one ever created!' or anything?" Matty complained sarcastically. "Also, it won't be out for a while. So keep quiet."

"I compliment your songwriting enough. You're no Phoebe," argued Este, "And sure. It'll be my dirtiest secret."

They continued down the line of crates, pulling LPs one-by-one and showing them to one another. Some serious, some as jokes—like when Este lifted a copy of I like it when you sleep to tease Matty about it. They both had a couple wedged under their arms to consider buying.

Once in a while, they'd converge and flip through crates side by side, shoulders brushing together. Este would move to the next and snake her arm around Matty's lower back as she passed him. He'd catch her hand on the other side and squeeze it before she let go to get back to digging for more titles.

A canvas tote bag that carried Este's usual essentials was now stuffed with five vinyl. Two for her, three for him. When their feet hit the pavement once again, he brought up a nearby cafe.

"I think there's a cafe a few minutes down the road. Off The Ground Coffee, or something like that. Want to stop for a drink?" Matty asked, offering to carry the contents that tugged at Este's shoulder. She politely declined to hand it over and kept hold of it, but grinned at his chivalry.

"You say 'I think' as if you haven't fully planned this out. Like, I bet 'good coffee shops by Middlesbrough Station' is in your Google search history," Este teased. "But of course. Coffee sounds great."

"I hate how well you know me."

-

Matty sipped on a steaming flat white and Este an iced latte, both sitting at a quaint two-person table amidst the lunch hustle and bustle of Off The Ground on a Friday afternoon. They shared an almond croissant between the two of them and took turns taking bites.

"It's mainly just to track what you read. But, some of my favourite features are that you can rate and review them, and set a reading goal for how many books you want to read in a year. And see what your friends are reading. It gives you recommendations based on what you log, as well. I don't know, maybe it's lame." Este attempted to explain the purpose of using Goodreads, frustrated that his boyish Aries mind couldn't understand why she went through the extra effort to keep track of something physical within an app.

"I'm not saying it's lame, I've just never heard of anything like it before." Matty chuckled, swallowing his mouthful of pastry. "Can I see what it's like?"

She swiped through the organised home pages of her phone and opened the app, sliding it over on the table to let him see. Matty stared down in curiosity and used his finger to navigate its interface.

"This seems quite convenient, honestly. I see why you'd want to use it." he admitted, scrolling through the books she had virtually shelved. "Reviews?"

An internal panic set in as the idea of him reading her unnecessarily formal write-ups she sometimes inserted under the books she felt passionately about. Please don't read them.

"Oh, those are just—"

"Wow." he interrupted. "You weren't joking about reviewing being a favourite feature of yours,"

"I sort of just chat shit. After I finish something, the emotions are usually right at the surface, so it's easy for me to ramble and just spill whatever I feel at that moment into the text box," defended Este, horrified that she could see Matty opening and closing a few of them to scan through. She watched his eyes dart back and forth across the words.

A subtle smile sat on his face. "This isn't chatting shit," Matty decided. "These are like real, actual, meaningful reviews. Good ones. You're good at this."

The compliment encouraged her to take a gulp of her drink and finish the last chunk of croissant to avoid having to receive it well.

"I went to uni for it, sort of. So I'd hope they aren't bad," She laughed nervously.

Matty's eyebrows furrowed. "You went to uni for book reviewing?"

"Honours BA in Multimedia Journalism," Este clarified, "at Manchester Metropolitan."

"Why have I never known what you studied in school? I always assumed it would be English, or something snobby like that. So I wasn't too far off,"

"Dunno, just never thought to tell you." She shrugged. "Nothing wrong with a bit of snobbiness."

"Now I understand why I'd read the Bible if you recommended it to me. They should pay you for these," He shook his head, bewildered at the new information before passing the phone back to her. "Were you ever in that field professionally? Or ever thought about using your degree?”

Este thought about her answer. "I did some internships after graduating. Just never turned into anything livable. And Sam—being the businessman he is—with all of his investments and the property he owns, pays well. Greenhouse kept that passion for literature around and made me happy, and I think a quiet and mundane life was less scary at the time, so I stuck with it." She explained. "I do occasionally dream about writing for big media publications or something fancy like that, but I imagine it would be difficult to try and get back into it now."

"It's never too late to start something new, E. But I'm glad you're happy at the shop. You seem at home there." The last drop of Matty's coffee tipped back into his mouth. "Plus, you're helping fulfil this whole librarian fantasy I've been dreaming—"

A kick to the shin shut him up quickly as he giggled at his own joke. Her hand raised to her face in embarrassment, but she fought a smile that begged to appear.

"You're not funny."

-

The car journey back to where Matty and the crew were staying was smooth and quick—and everyone was lovely. By the time they arrived, it was dinner time, so a few of them gathered in one of the bigger rooms they had booked to order room service.

"Sorry that this setting for dinner isn't very luxurious," George complained as he sat on the edge of one of the bright white beds. He twirled noodles from the creamy pasta covering his plate with a fork and shovelled some into his mouth.

Este laughed and dismissed his apology. "Please, don't worry. I don't really associate music festivals with 'luxury' anyway. It's more about running on one single meal the whole weekend and almost weeing yourself while waiting in an hour long portaloo queue,"

Agreeing, the room reminisced about their days as teens going to gigs. They were all much more hardcore than Este though, making fun of her when she claimed that one of the best ones she'd been to was a Fiona Apple show.

"Were you moshing at Fiona Apple?" Ross asked with a chuckle in his voice.

"Hey, Fiona Apple is a badass," she said, standing up for herself. "You lot just don't get it."

They went on to have a couple of glasses of wine while different members of the band and team dropped in and out for a drink, and continued their chat about live music and how excited everyone was to be back in the UK. Much to Este's dismay, Matty would be heading back to America as soon as he'd arrived home. A New York show was on their schedule for just three days after their Sunday Big Weekend set, so a flight overseas was their itinerary for Monday afternoon. Any of their remaining free time was reserved for writing, as they did have another album on the horizon. It was unfortunate, but inevitable.

Because of the brief moment they had available to them, they wasted barely any of it—so when the late evening approached after filling their stomachs with hotel food, Matty and Este marched back down the hall to his room. A slight buzz put a pep in their step, from the wine.

It was their first minute alone in hours and the previous had been spent out and about in town, so Matty took advantage of the sudden privacy. He swiped the Hilton keycard into his door and followed Este in once it flashed green.

"Lovely dress you've got, by the way. Don't know if I've mentioned it yet," he complimented, catching up to her and feeling the material near her hips between his fingers.

Este pushed closer to him, wanting to close the gap, but waiting. "Thanks, love." Her lips formed a smile as her eyes trailed over every detail on the skin of his face. The thin wrinkles next to his eyes appeared when he smiled back.

"Sort of want you to take it off, though."

"Be my guest," She pulled him in for a kiss, their first since the one short-lived within the train station, mouths open with hunger. Este's fingers sat where Matty loved them, running through his hair and caressing the delicate skin on his neck. The whisper she uttered into his ear instructing him to sit down made him shudder.

Breaking apart to let him take a seat on the edge of the bed, Matty looked up at Este who was still standing. His legs were spread and she stood between them, gazing back down at him as they breathed heavily. Her hand sat gently on the side of his face as he used his feverish ones to feel up and down the material the hugged her torso. When he got to the back, the zipper became undone, revealing her bare tan skin.

"You don't even know how many times I've thought about you like this while I was away,"

She let the denim fall to the carpet and climbed onto Matty's lap to straddle him. All four of their hands desperately tugged his shirt off. Their lips reconnected.

"Oh yeah?" she urged. A moan left his mouth at the suggestiveness in her voice. "When would you think about me?" Este asked the question with her lips against the skin on his neck.

He tilted his jaw away to give her more space, eyes closed in pleasure and mouth slightly agape. "When I was alone."

"Alone and doing what? Touching yourself?"

Matty bit his lip at the way she was egging him on. Pressure built in his pants as she shifted her hips and let them grind against him. Her lips back against his prevented him from answering coherently, so he nodded slowly.

She moved her hands from around his neck down to run over his bare chest and step off of his lap. It wasn't often that Este was this forward—but the months without him inspired the fire within her to bubble to the surface. Matty surely wasn't complaining. Eye contact was prolonged as he watched her kneel in front of him. Her gaze met his through her dark eyelashes.

"You're so gorgeous, down on your knees for me."

The fly of his trousers unzipped painfully slowly. Matty fell backwards onto his elbows, peering over his chest that heaved up and down at Este, who palmed him through his pants while planting kisses on his lower stomach.

He was already hard and hissed in pain when she pulled back the waistband of his white Calvin Kleins to take him in her hand. She let a drop of spit fall from her lips from above, and the two of them watched it land and allow her fist to move slickly over his length. Quiet whimpering could be heard from Matty. She clenched her thighs together at the sound.

"Do you want me to use my mouth?" Este asked, looking up innocently as if she wasn't speaking filth and driving him mad.

"Please," begged Matty, not able to form any other words with the pleasure of her stroking his cock overwhelming his conscience.

Finally, she slid her lips over him and used her tongue to swirl around the sensitive tip. His moans only got louder and more frenzied as Este took him in further. Matty swept the hair that fell forward back behind her head and held it in place for her. She hummed out a moan when he hit the back of her throat, its vibration bringing him to slightly push her head back down with the hand that gripped her hair. It was gentle, and turned Este on, so she moaned again.

His hips buckled upwards as he groaned out her name over and over with euphoria. Replacing her mouth with her hand for a split second, Este came up to take a breath and mutter words that almost made him finish on the spot.

"Are you gonna come in my mouth, baby?"

Face writhing in pain and gratification, Matty nodded. The action made a strand of hair flop forward and stick to his sweaty forehead. Her cheeks hollowed, taking him to her limit and tilting her head back so he could see her face while doing it. Este's hand made up for whatever she couldn't fit while she felt his breath become shaky and his muscles convulse. She didn't stop, and only increased her speed and furthered her depth.

A wave of pleasure took over Matty's body as he gasped and came across her tongue. "Este, shit," he cried. She moaned with him and let his hips thrust to ride out his orgasm, eventually swallowing and letting his length fall back against his stomach. Grinning, head hazy with arousal, Este climbed up to meet his lips with hers and collapsed next to him on the mattress.

Matty's hand inching between her legs signalled the beginning of a long night. Hot breath surrounded them. Their cheeks were the same shade of pink. And they made up for the time they'd spent apart.

--- 26 May, 2019

The next two days flew by far too quickly. They were a blur, for Este. Saturday consisted of driving out to Stewart Park to catch some acts in the afternoon. Sam Fender, Billie Eilish, and Charli XCX were a few they came out to see, and Este was excited to get to do so from the artist areas; secluded from the big crowds. She had the time of her life screaming the lyrics to Boys and 1999 back to Charli without a care in the world.

But, nothing was as exhilarating as seeing Matty up on the main stage when the sun began to set on Sunday. It was huge. Lights from the screen behind them lit up the thousands of faces in the crowd below, and Matty, dressed formally for the occasion, performed his heart out. She shouldn't be shocked by how much the band continued to impress her, but each time Este saw them live, it felt even more powerful than the previous.

After closing out the night, a much needed series of after parties were seen by the group. Matty dragged Este by the hand to each of them, enthusiastically introducing her to some of the acts she watched earlier in the weekend with a grin on his face. As new and surreal as the environment was for her, she felt safe. Things were easy with Matty next to her.

But eventually, everyone's energy began to dwindle and they had to call it, hopping in a car to head back to the hotel. It was loud and obnoxiously filled with giggly conversation as the group sobered up together on the journey. They parted ways when each person found their room, most desperate for rest after a strenuous day.

Both Matty and Este were exhausted. As soon as their unmade bed was in sight, he flopped down onto it, face first. A tired groan came from him and was muffled against the comforter.

"Hey, it's not time for bed yet. We have to brush our teeth." she said as she tugged on Matty's arm, forcing him to sit back up.

"I don't care if my teeth are clean, I'm ready to fucking sleep."

Este refused his protests and made him walk to the toilet with her anyway. "Up you get," His feet dragged across the carpet in annoyance. "Come on. We should drink water, and take some tablets, too. You'll thank me in the morning."

Humouring her, Matty followed through with her instructions instead of sleeping in his sweaty clothes and waking up regretting it. He slipped off his button up and replaced the far too fancy trousers he wore all day with a pair of gym shorts that were sat on the bathroom floor. In a pile with them, was one of Matty's t-shirts. He picked it up—but instead of putting it on, he left his upper body bare and handed it to Este so she could sport it. She thanked him and wore just that and her knickers.

After squeezing her tube of toothpaste to her toothbrush and his, Este looked at Matty through the mirror in front of them. His eyes were tired, but happy to be looking at hers. Catching her stare while the two of them brushed their teeth in unison, he bumped his hip against hers playfully. Since she didn't expect it, she stumbled to the side from the impact and rolled her eyes.

Matty's shoulders bounced up and down as he chuckled, and Este pulled out her phone to snap a laughably domestic mirror selfie of the two of them pampering up in comfortable silence. They both smiled with their top and bottom teeth, forcing toothpaste to spill out of  the corners of their mouths. She looked back at the photo and laughed at the state of them both, eyes barely open and minimal clothes draping over their bodies.

Somehow, she convinced him to stay awake even longer to do some skin care. "You need it babe, trust me." said Este.

"Can you at least do it for me? I seriously can't be arsed," he complained, turning to her and closing his eyes, as if he was giving Este the green light to start giving him a wash. She threw him a 'Really?' back, in disbelief, but agreed after washing her own face. Her wet hands with cleanser on them started rubbing against his skin.

His eyes stayed shut as the foamy soap built up on his face. Focusing, Este came close, her touch gentle and caring. Less than a minute of scrubbing passed when Matty peeked out with one eye and studied her face. When she noticed he was looking at her, she smiled and made her dimple appear.

"I see you glance down at my dimple like every time I smile, Matty." Este pointed out, then ran a flannel under the tap to get it damp. "It doesn't change, you know. Always there, always the same. No need to check up on it,"

"Your dimple was one of the first things I noticed about you. I can't help it," Matty said quietly as she wiped the product off his face.

She followed the cleanser with a bit of face cream, and he hummed at the quite therapeutic feeling of her hands across his face. His eyes fluttered closed again.

"Am I putting you to sleep?" she asked.

"It's like a face massage," commented Matty. "Any longer and you might."

"Alright, all done."

The bathroom light was switched off. They walked back out to the bed, but swallowed back a couple of Ibuprofen before climbing in. It was dark, and the microwave clock glowed green, reading a shockingly late time. Once the sheets covered them both, Matty rolled over to nuzzle himself against her. A soft and drained voice left his lips.

"Thank you for coming out this weekend, E."

She looked over her shoulder to look at him, but his eyes were already shut. "Thank you for headlining huge festivals like a rockstar and letting me come see you play. I've had the most fun."

"It's no biggie," he replied, sarcastically humble. "I missed you too much to let you only stay for one night. I'm really glad you agreed to the Friday train."

"I don't think you missed me as much as I missed you," argued Este. Her eyes closed with exhaustion, too.

"I highly doubt that. But I appreciate the sentiment," It took a couple of seconds before Matty responded, so she thought he may have dozed off. "You can ask the guys, they never hear the end of it." He muttered one last comment before erupting into snores.

A smitten smile broke out on Este's face as she imagined Matty talking about her in fondness and appreciation like he claimed he did. But quickly, it fell when she remembered she'd be leaving for home in mere hours.

She tried to shake the thought out of her head but failed, already missing the thing that laid right next to her as she passed out in a slumber.

11 >>

#the 1975 #matty healy #matty healy fanfiction #matty healy x oc #the 1975 fanfiction #matty healy fic #tbsg #Spotify

[ethanhuntfemmefatale]

ur stacee jaxx posting has me so intrigued I feel like I need to watch rock of ages when it’s near the bottom of my TC watchlist 😭😭

sicko voice YESSSSSSSSSS

ok let me be nice and actually honestly lay out what i think of the movie and to what extent i would recommend it & why

So I really fucking loved watching this movie. But part of that is that it happens to jive well with my particular taste. I'm an MI2 enjoyer--I have more affinity for camp than the average person I think. I am also a performer by trade, and literally nothing gets me more rabid than watching someone perform who's really really good at it (not the craft, the Performance.) The way that TC works a stage in this movie is insane. The way he works a room is insane. TC always performs in movies, but in this movie he wants us to know he's performing all the time--"I am on stage," Stacee says before collapsing into the pool--and so he lampshades and spotlights and (pardon me) amplifies his own performance CONSTANTLY....it creates a completely mind blowing experience for me. It's basically performance porn. I also just love rock, so the music kinda slaps for me ngl. TC's voice is good! And he does character work through it which is unusual for someone who isn't a professional singer. The last thing is that I really liked how weird it was….which is not a positive quality for everyone but is a real necessity for me to totally love a movie

The movie itself is really bad. It's bad in a funny way at times, in an annoying way at times, and sometimes it's just boring. I did enjoy it, but once Stacee started showing up it became really difficult for me to watch the movie when he Wasn't on screen. There were a few non-Stacee moments that i genuinely liked, but they were pretty rare and far apart. The appeal of this movie for me is largely just TC's physicality, which might not be as appealing to everyone--TC spends The Entire movie shirtless, good god man someone get him some water, and it's not...for me, at least, the interest of that is not a sex thing. It almost becomes sexy because TC leans into the grotesque exaggeration of it. (He has this wounded-animal swag throughout.) But for me, it's--seeing the way he moves, and being able to watch the movements of his body so intimately, is really fucking striking, it kind of takes your breath away. There's so much gravitas to the physical presence of Stacee, there are so many moments (the movie is kinda built on this) where Stacee is silent for long stretches of time, he takes a Long Time to say most of his lines. But he's so physically expressive, even when he's just laid out on the couch, that you can't look away from him. And in a few key moments, the most compelling emotional beats happen while TC isn't saying anything at all, just acting his heart out.

For me, as a TC fan, it was really epic to see this movie because it feels like the most overwhelming display of skill I've ever seen from the man. To me, his work in this movie is far more viscerally impressive than any of the MI stunts. The character of Stacee doesn't come from the writing, doesn't come from the concept, literally emerges entirely from the depth and breadth of TC's work with the character. It's pretty spectacular.

Anyway those are my thoughts. If you don't like camp, if you don't like dealing with a very embarrassing watching experience, this is probably not the movie for you. It's all over the top and oscillates between intentionally flayed-raw (TC) and just silly (everything else). Also, if the idea of TC viscerally working a stage while shirtless in leather pants with gun tattoos pointing towards his crotch sounds uncomfortable or horrifying instead of fascinating, you probably won't like this movie. I really liked this movie.

#stacee jaxx #tc posting #rock of ages

[danganronpa-headcanons-imagines]

mukuro ikusaba x ultimate entertainer (sfw)

Oooo interesting idea!

----------

Mukuro x Ultimate Entertainer S/O

Mukuro is a girl who is pretty stoic. Monotone voice, serious demeanor, pretty professional in general and is indifferent to most things in life

Well, until she met you

Throughout her life she only cared about her dear sister Junko. Everyone else was just a tool to make her sister happy. But you... something about you intrigued her

When you first met, you just oozed charisma and confidence. Being a natural performer it came easily to you, and most of the time you don't even notice how you affect others

And Mukuro was no exception. Everytime you smiled or gave a cheeky wink she could feel her heart skip a beat

Her heart was in denial, but after she went to one of your shows some switch flipped in her mind. She was so impressed and, well, entertained! Every move you made fascinated her and wanted to see more. When your show ended she felt sad and empty. She needed more of your performances, she needed to be entertained by you! She went to everyone of your shows for the next month

Her favorite shows of yours is when you perform music. It doesn't matter whether you play piano, sing, or just beatbox. It entraces her everytime and manages to actually calm her down and lower her guard for just a moment

Using her military skills, Mukuro managed to sneak backstage after one of your shows without alerting security, surprising you. Unlike most crazy fans you've dealt with, she was actually quite pleasant and courteous. As you talked to her, it was actually an engaging conversation that you enjoyed quite a bit. Before she eventually left, you casually slipped her your number

Yeah she uh... she pretty much called you instantly. And every day. But she's cute so you didn't mind much

She had to hide your relationship from her sister, of course, so your dates were always in private. But hey, she knew how to keep on the down low!

Most of your dates took place at night, and you went to a lot of private areas. She knew all the best areas, especially the ones in nature. She had some secret spots that she goes to when she wants some solitude. But now she has you to share it with!

Showing affection is a bit odd for her. She is able to verbally express herself, but she isn't really used to physical contact. You guys can start with simple handholding and work up from there

Dear god do NOT surprise her. That is not a suggestion, it is a warning. Mukuro goes into defense mode and goes for the kill. You learned this the hard way when you poked her shoulder from behind while she was cooking. The knife only grazed your cheek but the message was recieved

Dont... Don't tell her you wish someone was dead. You will see their corpse on the news the next day without fail (while she gives the smallest satisfied smile)

----------

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#danganronpa #danganronpa imagines #danganronpa x reader #danganronpa headcanons #danganronpa thh #danganronpa trigger happy havoc #Mukuro Ikusaba

[stolendreams99]

I wanna start brain vomiting here, but I need to get out of my own way

I've had this tumblr for years and never really got much farther than just reblogging and liking. I think I struggle with the way the site functions, I could never wrap my head around it, especially not being able to filter people's reblogs from their original content.

But here I am in adulthood with a brain that perpetually operates at 105%, constantly filled with a million and one thoughts, some deep analyses, some absolute shit.

“I want to talk about everything with at least one person as I talk about things with myself.”

― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Idiot

I started therapy a few years ago and have found myself quite the journaler, and this quote captures the 'thing' that keeps me coming back to the idea of writing here. Nothing professional, just a little blog of thoughts to share. I have friends who share my interests, but I can't always deep dive and hyperfixate for hours at a time with them. It's fun and I love them to death, but it can't happen all the time when the urge strikes. It's impractical, both for them and myself.

I think fandom as a broad concept is fascinating, I love seeing how people can breathe life back into media that only gives a fixed amount of content. When I recover from all this academic trauma and burnout, I think fandom and pop culture studies is something I might explore a bit more.

But exhaustion and ambitions aside, I like contributing to that process of bringing your own thoughts and baggage to art and watching how it gives so much more depth to it. Taking something and exploring every corner of it. I like giving, real, intense, thought to things. I like to dive into lore and think about character psychology and world building. I like to think about how the artistic choices in music and visuals contribute to it. I like to analyze dialogue and read into things and steep my brain in every element of it.

I like words, and I like using them to talk about things. I wanna do that here but I keep getting tripped up by the idea of curating the "perfect" blog and, god, it's fucking annoying. I have so many topics in my head that I've already mentally drafted out that just swim around up there and occupy space.

I wanna talk about love, grief, burnout, trauma, my life experiences that have contributed to who I am. I wanna talk about the LoZ timeline and lore, or this one fanfiction that is so exceptionally good that I will continue checking for updates no matter how long it takes, I wanna talk about music albums as collective works of art, I wanna talk about visual art and how, at the end of the day, most art is fan art and all elitists that say otherwise are missing out, I wanna talk about OSTs that rip my soul out, hold it tenderly, and put it back, I wanna talk about anime and TV shows and movies, write about my reviews and opinions, talk about the socio-cultural phenomenon that Hatsune Miku is.

I have so much shit I wanna talk about and all it does is stay tucked away in the attic of my brain just collecting dust but also still like...bouncing off the walls just trying to get out. I think writing essays in uni would've been more fun if we had more opportunities to talk about the things we cared about.

This post is a shit show and isn't much of anything for anyone, this is my attempt at getting over the idea of doing it "right" or "perfectly," it's my way of putting pencil to a blank paper, just to ruin the idea of perfection and just to get things moving.

I haven't shared my in-depth thoughts or my art consistently or with real intention on a public platform in years (did I mention I'm burnt out) so it's a bit weird thinking that people might see and read this and...I don't know, have a glimpse into my mind.

So yeah despite being on here since 2015? 16? 17? I suppose I'm pretty new to tumblr in a way. Bear with me as I try to get better at messily attempting things instead of trying to make something perfect before I even start it. I'll probably expand on so many all of the things I've mentioned here in the future :)

#brain dump #new to tumblr #new to blogging #word vomit #fresh start #recovering perfectionist

[margridarnauds]

Hi! I have loved Toho Elisabeth since May, and I want to find other musicals they’ve adapted and done but I have no idea where to find them, aside from a version of Phantom I found on Bilibili. Any help would be MUCH appreciated!

Hi!

So, first of all, my apologies for the length of time to reply -- I've been busy dealing with professional things the whole month and can only now be a human being. In relation to that...for the last three or so years, I haven't been able to follow Toho musicals like I wish I could. It's a shame, but. Well. Grad student. (As well as various developments in terms of my personal life and Toho that have made me a little less likely to follow it.)

I'll take this in three parts -- First of all, the adaptations I personally recommend, second, how to keep up to date on announcements (which I'm woefully behind on, do as I say, not as I do), and third, how to get ahold of them once you've found the musical of your dreams.

(Some) Recommendations

Romeo and Juliet (ミュージカル 「ロミオとジュリエット」)

The myth, the legend. One of the most legendary French original musicals, translated to Japanese for the purposes of the wildly successful Takarazuka production (which has had like. A *ton* of productions. I'm not inclined to do the research on how many, because this is the Quick and Dirty Guide, not the research paper, but there have been a Lot) and then totally reinterpreted for the Toho stage, including staging it in a post-apocalyptic setting and updating and expanding the libretto to fit that setting. (#1 way to piss off a Toho Romeo and Juliet fan? Say that it's just like the Zuka.) I personally recommend the 2019 production, specifically Black Cast with Furukawa Yuta, but you can form your own preferences.

Lady Bess (ミュージカル「レディ・ベス」)

If you came for Kunze and Levay, there's nothing better than...MORE Kunze and Levay. This was my very first Toho musical, I got the DVD back in....2018, God, that was five years ago. ANYWAY. It tells the story of a Young Elizabeth I of England and her struggle to survive under her sister's rule while contending with her mother's complex legacy while embarking on a youthful romance with the spirited poet, Robin Blake. While I do have some issues with the libretto, the music is strong and the production is gorgeous. If you can only get one, get the Star Cast with Aya Hirano and Kazuki Kato.

1789, Les Amants de La Bastille (ミュージカル 「1789 - バスティーユの恋人たち」)

If you know me, this musical doesn't need an introduction. It's changed my life. The Toho production in particular. It's quite bittersweet from where I'm standing now, for various reasons, including the tragic death of Sayaka Kanda, who was the lead actress for one of the casts, which...God, we're almost approaching the anniversary...but the fact remains that it was a gorgeous production, the music is gorgeous, and, plot-wise, it probably did the best job of exploring the characters and the nuances of the plot of any of the productions, including the French, and it perfectly suited the darker style usually associated with Toho musicals. I love both casts and recommend them, but of the two, I personally recommend the d'Espoir cast, which had Teppei Koike and Sayaka Kanda, not just out of pity, but because they were were both exceptional in the roles.)

Marie Antoinette (ミュージカル 「マリー・アントワネット」)

While I would say that Lady Bess introduced me to Toho and 1789 cemented my love for it, Marie Antoinette...defines it for me. It's probably my favorite Toho musical of all time. It would require a long, long rant to discuss everything I love about it, but to put it simply: It's a gorgeous production, you got some of the best actors currently working on the Japanese stage together to give some of the best acting of their careers, and the music is great. The dynamics between the various characters -- Margrid and Antoinette, Margrid and Orléans, Orléans and Antoinette, Antoinette and Fersen, Antoinette and Louis -- are some of my favorite in any musical I've seen, not just limited to Toho musicals, and the little bit of sexism that usually seems to follow Kunze and Levay's stuff...I don't want to say it's GONE, but I think that the fact that the female characters behave like people -- sometimes flawed people -- bumps it up a couple of notches, so if you like Elisabeth and you like its style...it's not a guarantee, since MA doesn't lean on the gothic tradition as much as Elisabeth, but you will PROBABLY like it. I personally recommend the A Cast with Sonim, Furukawa Yuta, and Rena Sasamoto.

This is, imo, a good starter pack -- there are other Toho musicals out there, but these are the ones that I recommend to capture some of the range of what Toho can do as a company and to introduce you to some of the best of the best on stage.

Now, Part 2:

2. R's Quick and Dirty Guide to Toho Musicals and How To Get Into Them (if you need links, let me know):

First of all: Follow the official Toho Channel on Youtube + Twitter. This is your best guide for keeping up to date on which projects they're working on. Also follow Umeda Arts while you're at it, and since there's a not-insignificant overlap between Horipro's business and Toho's, follow THEM as well. This will also keep you up to date on things like DVD + BluRay releases, since they tend to announce them on Twitter + Youtube.

Follow some of the stars on Instagram! Japanese celebrities tend to be very much into Instagram (okay, so are American celebrities) -- this is your best bet at following which projects they're working on. Since you mentioned Elisabeth, for example, Furukawa Yuta maintains an active Instagram presence *and* is an immensely bankable star. Likewise for Manaki Reika, Hanafusa Mari, etc., and they often will take pictures of musicals they're attending, or stars they're working with, so you can hopefully get a web of stars constantly posting updates about new projects.

And for the grand finale....

3. Getting ahold of them.

I recommend using a proxy if you're not in Japan. Do NOT, for the LOVE OF GOD, go for Ebay prices -- with how low the yen currently is, just about anything you pick up on Ebay is either going to be highway robbery or something you could get for the same price using a proxy. I use two services -- Buyee for when I want to do a broad search of everything on the Japanese market for something I can buy myself, MyFavoriteThingsJapan for when the thing that I want requires a little bit more...negotiation. (I am very aware that the way I just phrased that makes it sound like I have a personal hitman I use to get ahold of Japanese theatre merch.) (Not yet.) Sometimes, you will find items, DVDs, BluRays, CDs, etc. that Buyee doesn't cover. And, in those instances, if you don't speak Japanese, it's to your benefit to have someone who can negotiate on your behalf with the buyer. It's a little bit more costly, but worth it. Japanese theatre is frustrating to be in, because, unlike, say, VBW for German language musicals, the Japanese industry has never seen the need to overly cater to its international fans (though this has been improving with, say, Takarazuka.) Western...or even non-Japanese Toho fans are an exception, not a rule. So, we have to be a little bit more creative. That being SAID, there are so many proxy services available now VS even five years ago, and the price of the yen is still so low compared to where it was, that it has never been easier to buy these things. (And, in some ways, it's easier than, say, getting ahold of specialized French merchandise. Or, God help us all, Hungarian.)

You'll notice I'm not making any suggestions of websites to find these things -- due to how oppressively underpaid Japanese theatre stars often are (with a couple of exceptions at the very top of the industry), there is, traditionally, a very strong taboo around sharing websites that you can get ahold of these things for free. Japanese theatre fans are often stereotyped as being incredibly parasocial with their stars of choice -- there's absolutely truth to this and there are a number of cultural factors why this is the case, even among western fans (though, frankly, as someone who survived the Tveitpocalypse, I wonder whether we really want to argue that that's unique to Japanese or Korean theatre), but at least part of it is that, frankly, the fans often protect the stars better than their own companies do (the Japanese theatre industry is...an industry. Mix some of the worst of Japanese work culture with already-crushing expectations of the theatre industry and BANG you have the Japanese musical theatre industry in a nutshell, at least among the major companies). There's a feeling of protectiveness, in other words. My relationship with that taboo is a long and complicated one that's gone through many phases over the years -- at the moment, I'm, frankly, too tired to actively scold anyone for it, especially given how much hypocrisy often surrounds that taboo, but I'm still not willing to publicly share that information or to share my own personal links. You know one that you can find material on -- I also know that you can find things on archive.org and VK. I won't point you to them directly, but they exist, even if there are, in general, fewer Toho musicals posted to both than, say, Takarazuka, and I know that @emptymasks has compiled a list of both Takarazuka and Toho Elisabeth productions here. Beyond that, I can also stream any of the aforementioned musicals, so long as you give me a little time to plan since my schedule is really, thoroughly, not what it used to be.

#toho stage

[whatisreggieshortfor]

Parental Control Episode Two

I’m not gonna lie guys, I don’t know what happened here 😂

@rebelrayne

Bennicia ‘Benni’ Beresford-King had no idea it was happening.

Her mother, Maria, and her father, Lawrence, couldn’t agree on many things. It was why they divorced. But they agreed on one thing that they’ve come together again to fix.

They did not like Benni’s boyfriend. And if they didn’t like him, they were going to hate her brother Tom’s new girlfriend Lacey.

Maria scoffed at the camera, “Tim is convinced he’s gods gift.”

Lawrence nodded, “Always going on and on in his little raps. And he doesn’t take our daughter seriously. She works her arse off to support the two of them, meanwhile he takes one or two of his excuses for DJ gigs a month because he’s focusing on his ’rap career’. We all know it’s just code for stepping out on her while she’s working.”

“We’re here to find someone that will treat her the way she’s supposed to be. We raised her to be proper, to be the top of her field and to keep discrepancies and odd behavior hidden away, where they are meant to be. But Tim- he’s made her into some improper party girl! We want someone that will help her turn back to the path and the plan we had.” Her mother said firmly, her father nodding in agreement for the second time.

Benni was a professional, working as an editor with a publishing company to utilize her degree. She wore skirted suits when she needed to work in the office, and her parents had trained her to wear them when she worked from home as well, claiming that image was everything. But since she met Tim two years ago, within weeks of them dating her attire everywhere outside of the office had changed. The cutesy dresses and blouses and slacks had swapped out for jeans and tshirts with band names or graphics, her heels were changed for sneakers. Even her attitude and expressions had changed, becoming more open now. She wasn’t a ‘proper lady’ anymore.

So her parents looked for another suitor.

Noah and Ibrahim were polite enough, but they needed someone who would speak up so their daughter would quiet down.

Bruno goofed around too much.

Mason posed in his underwear for money- they didn’t need him giving her ideas.

Oliver was sweet but he had the relaxed demeanor that being a surfer suggests.

Finally, they found two they agreed on. They could tell the two boys took pride in their appearance. They were educated, came from good families. The boys knew what they wanted in life, and they were well behaved when they met them. Maria was sure one of them would be the perfect match.

Benni sat down with the cameraman, picking at the threads of her childhood bedspread, “My parents- they don’t understand Tim. They think he changed. Growing up, they expected me to find someone like my father had expected my mum to be. They wanted me to be a housewife- seen but not heard.” She sniffled, her black hair falling in front of her front as she looked down to wipe her eyes, “I love my parents. I do. They raised me, they put me through university. But- if I don’t behave the way they want, they get rid of whoever they think is causing me to act differently. My cousin, Seb, introduced me to the wrong music. So they blocked him from contact. My childhood best friend, Jen, encouraged me to find true love like she did with Levi instead of settling for someone from our parents’s world. I haven’t been able to openly see her in years. But Tim…he never expects me to be anything. To do anything. He takes me as I am, and he makes me feel free.”

Sitting in the living room, Benni sat stiffly at Tim’s side, putting him between her and her parents. He didn’t question it, he only rubbed her arm comfortingly. He was the only reason she was still here. As soon as she saw the cameras- as soon as she realized what they did- she was going to leave, whether or not she’d have to cut ties with them. But Tim convinced her to stay. Convinced her to follow through with it, because he didn’t want to be the reason she was disowned or cut them off.

“We can finally have someone that takes Bennicia seriously.” Lawrence grumbled in his seat, not shying away from glaring at the rapper. “She should be engaged within six months of the relationship. That is the plan.”

Benni’s head shot over, “You don’t even know what you’re talking about! The only reason-“

“Love,” Tim called quietly, “It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not! The only reason-“

“You never used to talk back.” Her mother cut in, before turning and scowling at her boyfriend, “You did this to her.”

Tim nodded, “You’re right. I did. Because I encouraged her to step outta the box you put her in. Benni has so much more to offer than being some bloke’s trophy wife.”

Her father scoffed, “At least she’ll find someone that wants her as a wife.”

Benni’s fists clenched tight, “Tim did propose. At our six month anniversary, just like you’ve always wanted. I said no because I know he would put everything on hold to make the perfect you want happen, and I know he has dreams to achieve.”

For the first time, her parents were struck silent. Only shaken from their stupor by the knock on the door. Her mother jumped up, “That must be my choice.” Benni scoffed, silently seething in her seat as her mother opened the door to reveal a tall man with black hair, “Dylan! Please come in, this is Bennicia.”

“Benni. I go by Benni.”

To their surprise, Dylan smirked, “I see why you went looking for a partner for her. I don’t know if you realize, but Benny is a boy’s name.” Dylan nodded at Tim, “You need to learn to watch the mouth on your lady.”

Tim was offended on behalf of Benni. His favorite thing about her was that she spoke her mind to him, it had taken him weeks to encourage her to do it. “I think she’s fine the way she is, mate.”

Dylan shrugged, “You ready for this date?”

Benni glared, even as Tim nudged her to her feet and pressed a kiss to her cheek, “Fine. Let’s get this over worth.”

Dylan smirked, “Usually my first dates just end up in my room, but we might save that video for our second date.”

Her mother’s mouth dropped open, clearly not expecting such a statement. Even as much as Tim touched their daughter, he was never so blatantly inappropriate in front of them. Benni smacked his hand away when he moved to grab hold of your arm, “Can I end the date here if you want to be a disgusting pig?”

Dylan just rolled his eyes, leading her out the door as she shot one last look to Tim.

Her parents watched with rapt attention as Dylan tried to place his hand on her thigh on the ride over to the location, using any excuse to get into her space and muttering about her playing hard to get. The entire walk around the date location, some flower garden that she would’ve been able to appreciate if she had enjoyed the company, he was questioning why she chose the line of work she did, with the long hours and minimal gratification, and making not so subtle digs about how her boyfriend must be cheating if she works that much. Tim could barely keep his blood from boiling over by the time he watched Dylan try to force a kiss out of her at the end.

Benni all but slammed the door shut when she walked back in to her parents home, surprised but pleased when her mother shrank away from the glare she shot her way. Tim didn’t waste a second in hopping up, talking quietly and making sure she was alright. Her parents had never seen this side of him, this caring and quiet side. They knew him to be loud with his rapping and unapologetic in his personality. Benni barely refrained from collapsing into his familiar warmth after her body finally released its tension. She’d just sat down when the knock came on the door. Her father hopped up, smug expression on his face, “Jakub! Please, please, come in.”

The man had a nearly completely shaved head, wearing clothes that were far too tight for someone his size. He raised a brow at Tim, “Little small, ain’t you, mate?”

Her father had the audacity to laugh, “Isn’t he? How is he meant to protect her at that size?”

Benni’s eyes rolled without a thought. Yeah, Tim was shorter than most guys, but he never let that step him from defending her. Instead she snapped, “Let’s just go.”

Jakub sent Tim a smug look before following her out the door, taking her dismissal as eagerness to get the date moving.

Jakub questioned her on the ride, asking about her daily routine and making faces when she admitted she would visit the gym only once a week. “I basically live at the gym.” He eyed her through her clothes, making noises she could only describe as primal, “You have a nice little body and all, but if you don’t care of it and showcase it, it doesn’t do you much good.”

She narrowed her eyes at him, “‘Showcase it’? I happen to like the way I dress. I’ve always wanted to dress this way, since I was a kid. Tim likes it- he even spent his own money to buy shirts for my favorite bands.”

“Is that supposed to be impressive? That he knows enough to spend a bit of money on you?” Jakub scoffed.

“He won’t let me spend a dime on him. The most he’ll let me do is go Dutch, and that’s only when he’s had slow gigs.”

Her parents glanced over at Tim, taking in this new information. They had always thought she funded their life together. But if he really paid for everything she said- he already showed that he cared for her. She already spilled that he wanted to marry her.

Her parents realized that he was misjudged. They had based their dislike on his rapping, on his presentation of himself. But he didn’t change Benni like they thought. Looking back- she had always been just at the edge of the change. Seb had given her musical freedom, Jen had reminded her there were choices she could make for her own happiness. They had always been close to losing the picture perfect image they had of her, but did they really love her any less?

When the three boys were lined up in the living room, her parents found themselves praying for the same result, and they honestly weren’t sure if they’d get it with all the pressure they’d put on her about this.

Benni stood confidently, which isn’t something they were used to. Growing up, she had always been a shell of who she could be because of the way they treated her. But she knew exactly what she wanted right now. “Okay. Round one elimination, yeah? Sorry, not sorry, Dylan, but you fucking suck.”

The man’s smug smirk dropped, coming back a second later as he gestured to himself, “You really don’t want any of this?”

Her face scrunched up in disgust, “Not even if I was touching you with a ten foot pole.” He scoffed, stomping his way out the door. Her mother let out a breath, of relief or annoyance, she wasn’t sure and she didn’t care. “Now, for who I actually pick? No contest, and there never has been. It’s always gonna be Tim.”

Jakub shrugged, heading out the door, “I can be home in time for my girlfriend to make dinner.”

Benni paid him no mind as she ran over to Tim, beaming smiles on both their faces.

“Oh thank goodness!” Her mother exclaimed, making the two of them turn to face her wearing matching puzzled , “We clearly don’t know Tim enough. We saw new things today.”

Benni smiled at that, at her parents, content to just be in Tim’s arms.

Masterlist

#litg #litg tim #litg dylan #litg jakub #old mtv #mtv parental control

[1eaf-me-alone]

hello! may i get a romantic matchup with two male characters? i’m female + any pronouns.

PERSONALITY: i’m an istj and a taurus. my personality really just depends on who i’m with. for example, around my friends, i act like a funny and playful person, i even pretend to have a “god complex”. around someone i don’t really know, i act very polite and put-together. around an authority figure, i act professional and serious. but when i’m alone and the mask is off, i’m quiet, apathetic, passive, disinterested, and cold. i have the mindset of “i can’t show my true feelings, no matter what.”

HOBBIES/INTERESTS: most of my time is really just spent studying for school (and lying down on my bed and staring at the ceiling because i don’t want to study). though, i do like reading and watching stories that interest me in my free time, i like psychological stories the most. i also listen to quite a bit of music throughout the day.

EXTRA: i’d prefer not to be matched with diluc, childe, kaeya or zhongli. idk— i’m just really iffy around those four. ever since i started the game i could never properly like any of them, i can’t really pinpoint the reason why lol. (except diluc, i’m just really annoyed about losing my 50/50s to him).

thank you very much for all your hard work!

I match you up with Itto and Kamisato Ayato

Opposites attract. You have no idea how you ended up falling in love with this fun, bubbly, goofy loud guy with you.

then there’s you- on the outside you act happy and playful but you’re so tired keeping up this act. Itto is the person you can put your mask down

the person you can really be yourself with

he drags you into these shenanigans, and you play along with it anyway.

although both of you act so bubbly and energetic I think it’s a mask for the two of you.

You feel so tired keeping it up, but Itto seems to be able to understand and comfort you.

you share your interests with itto- the music you like, the stuff you like reading.

you think it’s really cute that he tries making an effort to actually like that stuff- and in your due time you try make an effort to like the stuff he likes.

he’s big on the bear hugs- huge buff guy like him but he gives the softest best hugs.

you enjoy his company, you can be yourself you don’t have to always be happy and you can open up to him.

you might be a little cold or drifted at the start (but trying to appear happily.) you don’t want to let anyone in

you learn that you can allow yourself to be unhappy. You don’t always need to fake the happiness you always withhold

And you gradually open up with your feelings towards him.

granted it will take a really long time for you to get past the “I won’t show my true feelings no matter what.” But Itto is the first person you trust enough to share what you feel and surprisingly he’ll be there to listen to you- and try and comfort you in the best way possible.

also according to the mbti’s the most compatible match for an ISTP is an ESFP and itto is an ESFP

Itto laughed as he grabbed you by the hand, running with you- you let out a welp of delight. You had never felt happier then this- running through the hills of Inazuma next to Itto. — — — — — —

Kamisato Ayato:

the first time you met you acted all professional- that mask quickly falls off as Kamisato Ayato greets you with a genuine smile

at a glance he is low profile and graceful and just likes being himself.

he’s quite orderly being committed to maintaining prosperity and order.

he does care for you.

he probably prefers having dinners with you. Sitting under a Sakura tree, or in the kamisato estate talking to you and chatting.

he really enjoys talking to you just like you enjoy talking to him.

I think both of you quite enjoy reading and because of that you’ll go to bookshops as little dates.

he’s quite reserved and he prefers kissing you in private- thinking it’s more personal and not really anyones business. He just likes the fact that it’s just him and you. (And he’s a shy kisser in public)

Around you Ayato is more relaxed- he’s actually a really chill person but because a lot of people look up to him he has a lot of pressure.

both of you are probably more traditional romantics- Ayato preferring to gift you handwritten cards and Sakura petals.

both of you aren’t perfect and you slowly melt away your tough exterior.

The two of you could have cooking nights together- maybe cooking something hot in a cauldron (whilst Thoma supervises )

you two are just so sweet together… and regarding mbti Ayato is a perfect match as he’s a ENTJ (and apparently very compatible with ISTJ’s)

You walked beside Ayato underneath the Sakura trees- you couldn’t help but smile. Although Ayato wasn’t holding your hand he stroked it gently with his finger, the evening sky was bright with stars as the two of you strolled underneath it.

— — — — — — —

I hope you enjoyed reading this anon :)

well that’s all with the eight ask if you want to send an ask click here for more details on the event.

#kamisato ayato #genshin impact #ayato x reader #ayato x you #ayato x y/n #ayato fluff #arataki x reader #arataki itto #arataki x you #arataki fluff #itto fluff #itto x reader #itto x you

[yrpreciousmoon]

Getting Lucky (Rohan x Akira)

Title: Getting Lucky Fandom: Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure Pairing: Akira Otoishi x Rohan Kishibe Rating: Teen (18+ Mature version HERE) Summary: Akira lands a pretty great gig with a boss who exceeds his expectations. The trope of the rich, horny housewife and the cute pool boy. But make it Jojo. AN: This story has been leering at me from the shadows of my wip folder for AGES. I'm still not 100% happy with it, but I think I've gotten it to an acceptable place. If you enjoy it, please let me know in the comments, it means the world to me! Thanks to my Akirohan GC for helping me get this over the finish line.

-

-

Akira Otoishi could not believe how lucky he was at that moment – “Lucky” being a word he rarely used to describe himself. Especially in the past few years.

He’d gotten caught up in some pretty crazy schemes a while back, and had sure as hell paid the price for it. Three years in jail during the prime of his life. Three years when his peers were out experiencing university, starting their careers, making all the beautiful mistakes that go along with finding your way into the freedom of adulthood.

But Otoishi hadn’t been free. He had scarcely even been able to express himself through music, which seemed a far greater punishment than anything else. Though, after the initial shock of life on the inside had worn off, he had eventually given in, let go, and tried to make the best of things... because what other choice did he have? For Akira, "making the best of things" meant working every day on both his physical and mental strength, and obsessively reading every manga available in the prison’s library, every issue of Shonen Jump he could convince a friend or family member to bring to him.

When he’d finally gotten out, he found himself in an entirely new set of shackles. Finding a job with no experience or education was nigh impossible… and the fact that he had a criminal record didn’t help much, either.

And so he’d tapped every possible resource available to him, finding himself all over the region running errands, filling gaps in shifts, moving cargo, getting shit out of attics for old ladies. He found that the varied nature of being a task-rabbit kept things interesting, at least, but god he could use a somewhat-regular sleep schedule, a little more assurance that he could afford food each week.

Which is why, when he first spotted that fateful help-wanted ad, he felt that his luck might be about to change.

  “Seeking a reliable, discreet individual for part-time work assisting small business owner in various tasks.”

  There wasn't much by way of prerequisites. The hours were good, the pay was good, and the nature of the work aligned nicely with Akira’s only work experience — which is to say, it was “a little bit of everything.”

Over the phone, the woman who placed the ad seemed at least somewhat interested in him, and to his relief it wasn’t long before she called back to meet in person for an informal interview of sorts.

They met over coffee, and for the duration of the interview the bubbly young woman remained oddly vague about the specifics of the job itself. But Akira hardly minded, opting to kick back easily in his chair and build rapport with the pretty little thing.

Eventually, after getting side-tracked by a conversation about music, the woman — who had introduced herself as Kyoka Izumi — seemed to remember why they were here in the first place and grew a shade more serious.

“Otoishi-san,” she said slowly, “I have to warn you that the person looking for help is a bit... eccentric.”

Akira had blinked at her for a moment, processing this. “It's not… you?”

“Oh, no,” she laughed, waving off the idea. “You see, I work with him too, but in a different way.” She cleared her throat. “He is a very successful businessman, and even a bit of a celebrity in his field. That’s why we need someone trustworthy in this position, you understand. You’d be working for him directly, and you’d need to keep things professional.”

Akira leaned in a bit, his curiosity piqued. “So what exactly does he do?”

Izumi shook her head. “Oh, he doesn’t want me to— We can talk about that when you meet him. He’ll have to interview you as well. I’m just supposed to screen the applicants, bring him whoever I think he’ll like best… But of course, it’s impossible to tell with him, sometimes…” She laughed to herself and seemed to get distracted by her own thoughts again, so Akira let his mind wander as well.

Who could this mysterious benefactor be? There were only so many quote-unquote celebrities living in Morioh, as far as he knew, but… it couldn't be...?

“Otoishi-san, do you enjoy manga?”

Akira nearly snorted his coffee through his nose. There was no fucking way…

“Yeah, um, I do, as a matter of fact. I’ve read quite a lot,” he said, trying to speak calmly and not jump to any conclusions.

Izumi gave a mysterious little hum of approval, and then went quiet again for a few moments more. Finally she said, “Oh, goodness, I’ve really gone over our time, I’m sorry! I’ll be in touch in a few days with some proposed times to meet for that second interview with the boss! Please try to keep your schedule open, okay? He'll be cranky if you can't make any of his times work.”

“Sure... That sounds fine. I can’t wait.”

His demeanor was calm, but inside, Akira was practically buzzing with excitement. Not only had this interview gone swimmingly, but... even if his would-be employer wasn’t who he suspected, this sounded like a pretty cool opportunity at the very least. For the first time in a long time, he was feeling pretty damn lucky.

  -

    Days later, when Akira saw Izumi excitedly flagging him down for another cafe meeting, waving him over to their table, he knew for sure that his luck was changing.

Rohan Kishibe looked very much like his black-and-white “About the Artist” photo reproductions, although as he sat at the small bistro table his mouth was turned downward and there was a cold look in his eyes, like he’d rather be anywhere else on the planet.

Akira tried to steady his breathing. Okay, he told himself, he could totally do this. He could be cool. He just had to remember that Rohan Kishibe was a guy like anyone else. A guy who just happened to be the creator of his favorite manga series.

“Otoishi, this is Rohan Kishibe. He’ll be your boss if all goes well here today!” Izumi flashed a bright smile, but the mangaka himself stayed quiet and still, his unimpressed gaze climbing up and down over the now deeply self-conscious Akira.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Kishibe-sensei,” he said, hoping that the shaking in his voice wasn’t evident. He bowed deeply, and when the artist didn’t respond his monkey-brain quickly added: “I’m actually a huge fan of your work.”

“Oh!” exclaimed Izumi, clapping her hands together and looking between the two of them. “Well, what luck!”

“...Thank you,” Rohan replied simply, his voice calm and measured. Still, he continued to size Akira up, and the younger man could think of nothing to do but shift uncomfortably from one foot to the other. “Have a seat,” Rohan eventually said, “Izumi, would you go inside and order our drinks? I’m tired of waiting.”

“Of course! You two have fun!” She nodded and bounded off, and Akira slowly sat in the chair opposite from Rohan, hyper-aware of every movement.

“So, um…” he started.

Then, quite suddenly, it was as if everything around him had shifted ever so slightly. There was no noise, no physical feeling, just a strange sensation as if he'd dozed off for a few seconds. He blinked rapidly, shaking his head. Christ… had he just blacked out from nerves? Had Rohan noticed?

Then Izumi appeared back at the table, despite having left only a moment ago.

...Yeah, something weird had definitely happened, but neither of the other two seemed to notice. Izumi simply set out their drinks before taking a seat of her own. “Oh, sorry, I wasn’t sure how you take your coffee, Otoishi-san!”

“...This is fine,” Akira replied quietly as he took the cup, eyes darting up to Rohan’s face to search for any indication of what the hell had just happened.

“So! Did you start without me?” The woman asked.

Rohan was quick to speak this time. “I find it funny, Izumi, how you managed to find someone who breaks all of the very basic perimeters that I gave you for a candidate.” He took a long, deliberate sip of his drink as the other two exchanged a nervous glance. “Otoishi… I researched your past a little bit.”

Akira tensed. Oh, no. He’d heard that sentiment a thousand times already during his job hunt. It never ended well.

“You’ve already spent time incarcerated, despite your age. Theft, wasn’t it? And attempting to infiltrate a private company? Not great resume material.”

“Um.” Akira inhaled. He could get through this. Even if Rohan’s gaze was piercing into his soul. “That’s… true, yes. But I was just a stupid kid then. I like to think I’ve repaid my debt, uh, so to speak. That’s not who I am anymore. I’m really just looking for honest work.”

“That does appear to be true as well,” Rohan replied slowly. He was no longer looking at Akira, thank god… now he was staring into space, one slender hand placed thoughtfully on his chin. “And you have aspirations of being a musician, correct?”

Akira smiled a little. “Oh, huh. Izumi must have told you? Yeah, I know it’s a bit of a pipe dream, but…”

“You’re dedicated to it, which I can certainly appreciate. So many people talk about dreams but never bother to put in the work.” He turned back to Akira. “You’re an interesting person, I’ll give you that.” Another scrutinizing up-and-down. “I assume you’d be comfortable moving heavy boxes full of books and such, given your experience working at the docks.”

Huh. Wait, had he mentioned that? “Um. Yes, sir, Kishibe-sensei.”

“Hm. That's good... And I’ll occasionally need things delivered as well. to Izumi’s office, for example.”

“No problem.”

“The hours in my line of work can be a bit unusual.”

“Heh, same here...”

“And you are absolutely not at liberty to discuss anything you see or hear in my home unless I’ve given you explicit permission to do so. That means nothing about me or my work.”

“You have my word.” Akira solemnly put up a hand. “But uh, it kind of sounds like you’re giving me the job…?” His voice pitched upwards a bit, hopeful. Rohan studied him silently for a moment.

“Yes,” he finally said, closing his eyes, “We’ll give you a shot. I’ll have Izumi send you a contract to sign.” He gestured vaguely in her direction, and the woman let out a pleased squeak. “For now, you can go, Otoishi. I have other business to discuss with Izumi.” He took another sip of his tea.

“O-oh, okay… well… Great! Thank you!” Akira rose awkwardly from his chair and offered them each a bow, hesitating for a moment. He gripped at the back of the chair and tried desperately to think of something smart to say.

Izumi smiled at him as she waited — Rohan arched a brow, looking as unimpressed as ever.

“...Right! I guess I’ll talk to you both soon! Thank you… um… thanks!” He turned on his heel and began to make a quick retreat, then realized he ought to relax and not look so eager to bolt. He abruptly slowed his pace, but thought that now he looked too blasé and unmotivated, so he sped up once again. The result was a weird little shuffle, and as he reached the edge of the sidewalk he peeked over his shoulder to see if they had noticed.

Akira’s pride died a little when he saw that yes, Rohan was definitely still watching him. Their eyes met and Rohan’s expression seemed to soften ever-so-slightly… but maybe it was just wishful thinking. The artist then turned his attention back to Izumi, and Akira continued on his way home, minding his breath.

In that moment, despite his wounded ego, he felt so, so lucky. Though looking back on it, he could never have predicted what was to come.

    -

    It all started with the lingering gazes.

Akira's first few weeks of running errands for the young mangaka went smoothly enough. He was smart enough to stay clear of the warpath, and to remain subservient enough to appease his boss' ego. And anyway, most requests were easy: things like tidying the house, taking inventory of books and prints, and tending to any minor aesthetic issues around the house that stuck in Rohan's craw. But the thing that stood out to Akira was that even as their time together grew, Rohan would often stay to watch him longer than was polite or necessary. Akira supposed that it was the mangaka’s right… after all, he’d certainly gone out on a limb, allowing a former criminal into his home. It made sense that Akira would have to build his trust over time. And truly, he didn't even mind when his employer would hover in the doorway, looking on as he organized books and files, cleaned up the studio, or whatever that day's task was... he just found it odd.

Akira recognized that Rohan was not the type to open up or extend an offer of friendship. But all the same, his boss never seemed outright annoyed with him, so he figured that Rohan must like him well enough. Plus, before long the artist began making a wider array of requests of the young musician, indicating that the trust between them was indeed growing. Akira was soon helping out with even more domestic tasks like moving Rohan’s desk to a spot with better lighting, cleaning the windows to improve the quality of the aforementioned lighting, and running mundane errands throughout the day.

And yet, Akira still couldn’t help but feel that Rohan’s eyes were always on him (unless, of course, they were on his work.)

This observation sat uncomfortably in the pit of Akira's stomach until one afternoon, while up on a ladder cleaning the tops of Kishibe’s tallest bookshelves, he heard the tiny clink of a teacup that indicated his boss was standing behind him again. Finally, his curiosity got the best of him.

“Sensei,” he said, craning to look down over his shoulder, “You must know by now that you can trust me, right?”

A pause. “Excuse me?”

“You always keep such a close eye on me. I don't want you to feel like you have to.” He grimaced, scratching at his neck. “Is there something I can do differently to earn your trust?”

Rohan chuckled and sighed, looking down into his teacup. “Oh, sweet thing...” he sighed, “If I didn’t trust you, you wouldn't have lasted this long.” He took a long sip of his drink, meeting Akira’s eyes over the rim. “Does it bother you when I'm hanging around?”

“N-no, of course not! I enjoy your company.”

“I’m glad.” The teacup clinked softly on its dish. “Because I was thinking I might have you doing some more work around the house, if you’re up for it. The weather’s getting warmer…” Rohan leaned his weight against the bookshelf. “And I don’t have the time for landscaping…”

Akira stepped down from the ladder and stood facing Rohan, the mangaka looking up at him with those pretty green eyes. “Yeah, of course! I’d be happy to help with that.” He nodded. “It would be nice to work outside for a bit…”

“Great.” Rohan’s eyes dragged over his body. “How about Wednesday afternoon, then? It's supposed to be a clear day.”

“That works for me,” Akira replied with a grin.

“Perfect. For now… can you help me move a few boxes of old volumes downstairs? They’re a bit heavy…”

“No problem. Leave it to me, Kishibe-sensei.” Akira flexed an arm and patted his bicep for effect. Rohan smiled back at him.

    -

    Besides the watchful eyes, the second thing that struck Akira as a bit unusual was the way Rohan's clothing changed with the seasons.

On the day that he showed up to help with yardwork, Rohan had greeted him at the door with a loosened tie and the first few buttons of his shirt undone. Akira didn’t think anything of it at the time; it was a hot day, and Kishibe-san was working from home, after all. Really the only reason it stuck in his mind at all was because the thought flickered shamefully through his mind that his boss looked a bit cute like that.

Rohan had guided him 'round to the back of the house and shown him the small gardening shed which housed the tools needed to clean up the yard. “I'll be working upstairs,” he said, placing a hand on Akira's shoulder, “So just come find me if you need anything at all.”

Akira grinned. “I should be fine, but thank you.”

Rohan hummed affirmatively and patted Akira's shoulder before retreating into the house, and the young musician was quick to get to work. He started with the simplest task – mowing the lawn – hoping to get it out of the way before the heat of the day grew unbearable. As it so happened, it was forecast to be the hottest day of the week. Despite his best efforts however, it wasn't long before Akira was pulling his hair up into a high bun at the top of his head and desperately rolling up the cuffs of his shorts in an attempt to get more air against his skin.

As the afternoon inched onward and the sun climbed higher, Akira dutifully carried on with his work trimming hedges, pulling weeds, and occasionally glancing up at Rohan's studio window, waving when his boss was there looking back at him.

At one point he stopped for a quick break on the front steps to re-hydrate when Izumi-san came up the way. She greeted him cheerfully and he apologized for his appearance – by now, shirtless and covered in a sheen of sweat. But she simply waved him off.

“Kishibe-sensei must be so relieved that he doesn't have to do all that hard work! You really do save him a great deal of trouble!”

“I hope so,” Akira replied, leaning back on the step and wiping his brow. “Maybe if this next volume of Pink Dark Boy is even better than the last, I can take credit for it.” He winked, and Izumi tittered, before the front door suddenly swung open. The two of them turned to greet Kishibe politely.

“Oh, excellent timing, Izumi,” he breathed, “I was just coming to offer Otoishi a bit of iced tea.” The artist raised a small pitcher in his hand and Izumi cooed with excitement. “I thought that since it's a beautiful day... and Otoishi's been working terribly hard... we could all have a drink together here on the porch.” Rohan placed his free hand on his hip and shrugged.

“What a good idea!” Izumi agreed. She turned back to Akira to add, “See? He's in such a good mood lately, without all these chores to worry about! Now you stay here, I'll go grab some glasses!” She hurried into the house and Rohan nodded towards the small table where he often sat to drink his morning coffee. Akira followed his lead.

It wasn't long before Izumi returned with glasses brimming with ice cubes, and the three of them sat down together for a drink. Rohan was quiet, as he often was, more inclined to watch as the younger two individuals carried on idle conversation.

“Gosh, I really can't believe you've been out working in his heat,” Izumi said, fanning herself.

“It's not so bad,” Akira offered. “And it's like you said... better me doing it than Kishibe-sensei, right?”

Izumi nodded and the two looked expectantly at Rohan, whose eyes seemed slightly glazed over, the straw of his drink missing his mouth. At the sudden attention he blinked rapidly and agreed, “...right. Right, exactly.”

“Well.” Akira set down his glass, empty now. “Speaking of, I ought to get back to work. The flowerbeds won't mulch themselves.”

“True enough...” Rohan laced his fingers together, let his chin rest on top of them as he gazed at Akira. “In the meantime, I think Izumi and I can have our meeting right here. Don't you agree?”

“Oh!” The young woman grinned. “Yes, that would be lovely!”

“Perfect. And Otoishi, do join us for another drink whenever you're feeling thirsty. We wouldn't want you getting too hot.”

“Of course! Thank you!” Akira smiled as he rose from his seat and left to carry on with his work.

He was quite proud to note that any time he turned to look over at the porch, both Izumi and Kishibe seemed to be watching him with looks of approval.

    -

    As the summer days rolled on, what had started on that one warm day with a loose tie and a couple of undone buttons slowly descended into a pit of temptation. It was impossible for Akira to ignore that his employer was continuing to show more skin, little by little. Rohan would answer the door with his shirt unbuttoned down to his sternum – his navel – then, completely. “Ugh, excuse my appearance,” he would say, rolling his eyes, “I’ve been so busy. I’m just so tired. It’s so hot today.” Sometimes his long fingers would travel down his front, as if there was any question to what he was referring. Akira’s eyes would inevitably dip and his cheeks would heat up, always praying that Rohan didn’t notice.

Kishibe was really quite an attractive man, after all. Akira hadn’t initially thought about him that way, but the more glimpses he caught of his boss’ body, the more aware he was of a developing crush.

He felt a bit dirty, ashamed, but… Rohan didn’t seem to feel the slightest bit self-conscious or embarrassed by Akira seeing his exposed skin. He never bothered to fix his attire, anyway. And so Akira figured it might be okay to just keep nursing this little crush of his, as long as he didn’t act on it.

But not acting on it only became more and more difficult. While the amount of clothing decreased, the number of hours Kishibe requested of him rose significantly. And what’s more, the artist had grown much more comfortable with Akira in the few short months that they’d known each other. Being comfortable in Akira’s personal space meant all the more opportunity for touching: a hand resting gently on the small of Akira’s back while Rohan explained a task. Fingertips grazing along the length of his arm as his boss moved to point something out. A playful tap on the thigh as they laughed about something at the end of the day over tea, and Kishibe’s warm palm coming to settle there for a few long moments after.

Every touch felt charged with electricity. Akira could feel his heartbeat quicken, his breath catch in his throat, his legs shifting awkwardly to ward off the warm feeling gathering between them.

The worst – perhaps best? – were the moments when the artist would touch him and then peer up through dark eyelashes, shirt fully open, his other hand holding a pen or stirring spoon to slightly-parted lips…

Damn it…

Rohan had to recognize by now what he was doing to the younger man! Had to know how desirable he was coming off. Was he doing it on purpose? Was he flirting?!

As if this wasn’t already enough to send Akira spiraling, it was too much to bear when Rohan started answering the door in nothing but a thin cotton yukata.

“Oh, sorry for my outfit…” Rohan muttered, brushing back his bangs. “I’m just working on such a tight deadline. I roll out of bed and I’m practically drawing before my feet touch the ground.” He reached out to rest a hand on Akira’s shoulder. The taller man swallowed hard.

“No need to apologize,” he managed.

Rohan’s hand slipped down to rest on Akira’s chest now. “I knew you’d understand. You’re so sweet.” He patted Akira and smiled, turning then to re-enter the house as his garment slipped down a bit to reveal a bare shoulder.

Akira hesitated in the doorway for a moment, worrying his bottom lip as he collected his thoughts.

All things considered, maybe having a hot boss wasn’t the worst thing in the world.

He took in a breath and dutifully followed Rohan up to the studio to get his assignments for the day.

Immediately upon entering the room, Rohan dropped into his chair and stretched himself out, legs crossed, one hand casually propping up his chin while the other beckoned forth a small breeze from his desk fan. The woefully unsecured yukata shifted down his arms and draped from his body in a way that left little to the imagination; Akira's eyes darted to the ground and he cleared his throat.

“Hmm? Did you say something?” Rohan asked.

“Uh... No, it's just, um...” Akira stepped closer and Rohan gazed up at him expectantly. “I think your obi may have come undone,” he mumbled, and with nervous hands he tugged the front of the garment closed, attempting to give his boss a bit more privacy.

“Ah! How embarrassing,” Rohan breathed, turning his head to the side but not yet moving to adjust the robe.

“N-no, not at all,” Akira assured him, swallowing hard. “It's, uh. It's fine. Nothing to be embarrassed about! You're... ah.” He scratched at his neck and looked away. “You're... kinda beautiful, sensei. Like those sculptures in Italy, y'know?”

Rohan seemed to consider this for a moment. “From the Roman empire, or the Renaissance period?”

“Um...”

“Nevermind.” Rohan sat up straight and pulled the garment back up to his shoulders. “It was a kind thing to say. Thank you.”

Akira nodded, grinning sheepishly, and was soon put to work without another mention of it.

    -

    The rest of the summer carried on much like that, though Akira had decided thereafter to savor the glimpses of his boss' skin in silence. He had been damn lucky, he thought, that Rohan hadn't been scandalized or annoyed at his compliment.

So, while Akira mostly kept his eyes on his work, he'd steal glances here and there when given the opportunity, of which there were many that summer; Like on the day when Rohan had greeted him in a crop-top and cut-offs that were both way too short, and announced that it was too hot to work, and they should go out for ice cream instead.

But, inevitably, the seasons began to change in Morioh. The days grew shorter, outfits grew more modest, and Akira slowly found himself confronting an unfortunate truth: doing odd jobs around Rohan’s home for a few afternoons every week wasn’t a sustainable source of income. As it was, he was barely making ends meet. But now his heating bills were about to start climbing, and besides, he was trying to save up for a new Stratocaster…

Finally, on one lazy afternoon when Kishibe had invited him to share a cup of tea, Akira told his boss as much.

“...So what I’m saying is, I’m gonna have to start looking for some full-time work,” he finished, uneasy.

Rohan was scowling down into his cup. “That means you won’t be working for me anymore.”

“Well, not necessarily! I guess it depends what my schedule ends up looking like. I bet I’ll still be able to help out on the weekends…”

Rohan sniffed indignantly and turned away. “That’s hardly useful. Haven’t you been happy working here?”

“O-of course! Honestly, I don’t want to stop helping you out, Kishibe-sensei. I love being here. It’s just a matter of necessity. I gotta start bringing in more money.”

“Then what if I offered you a full-time position?” Rohan whirled around to capture Akira’s eyes.

“Um.” He blinked. “I mean, that would be awesome, but what would I...?”

“Surely you’ve noticed that I need a proper assistant around here. Izumi isn’t able to give me her full attention, and up until now you’ve been under-utilized. So why don’t we make this official? You’ll have a consistent work schedule, and in addition to everything you're doing now, you’ll also lend a hand with more sensitive matters.”

Akira lit up. “Like scanning manuscripts and stuff?”

“And stuff,” Rohan replied with a short nod. “You’ll be expected to travel with me on business trips as well. Basically, you'll be my right-hand man.”

“That would… That actually sounds perfect, sensei. But are you sure about this?”

“Of course. I’ve been meaning to hire someone for that purpose anyway. And this saves me the trouble of having to trust a complete stranger with my work.”

“Damn.” Akira was glowing. He was so impossibly lucky! To be the assistant to his favorite artist ever? Who also happened to be the kindest boss he’d ever had…?

“Tell you what.” Rohan retrieved his wallet from his pocket and procured a credit card, which he slid across the table. “You’ll need some new clothes for this role. Take the weekend and get whatever you need. Suits, ties. Be sure to get them properly tailored, we need you looking your best.” He paused, eyes roaming over his faithful employee. “Plus, anything else you might like for your wardrobe. Consider it a bonus for doing such a great job around here.”

“Thank you, Kishibe-sensei! Seriously.” Akira leapt to his feet and grabbed Rohan’s hand. “You’re really incredible. I appreciate it so much.”

Rohan flashed him a satisfied smile. “It's my pleasure, Otoishi.”

    -

    The Monday following their conversation, Akira started his new job in earnest. He arrived that morning in one of his brand new suits, hair done up, trying to look as professional as possible. Rohan seemed thrilled at the very sight of him. Task number one was to accompany Rohan on a shopping trip to pick out a desk suitable for a busy assistant. Task two was positioning it in the studio while Rohan supervised. Ultimately, the desk ended up across from Rohan's own – “This way, we can speak face-to-face without getting up from our work. You see?”

Akira nodded. “You're sure this spot is good?” he asked, somewhat out of breath, as he settled into his new chair. “I’m not blocking your view or anything?”

“Not at all.” Rohan came around to the back of the chair and put his hands on the headrest, leaning over Akira a bit. “I think this will be perfect. Things will be so much more, ah… efficient around here now.”

Akira beamed up at him. “Glad I could help. I'm so grateful for this, really. Can't wait to get started.”

“Well then!” Rohan patted his shoulder lightly, “I know you've probably got this room memorized like the back of your hand by now, but let's do a proper walk-through, shall we?”

Akira offered an enthusiastic nod and got back to his feet, with Rohan's hand coming to rest at his lower back as he guided his assistant towards his flat-files.

    -

    Working as an assistant certainly had its perks. For one thing, it gave Akira major bragging rights in his small circle of friends, all of whom were working pretty mundane day-jobs in between music gigs. And the work itself was pretty rewarding, too. He couldn't believe he was entrusted to touch Rohan Kishibe's original drawings! In addition to current works, Akira had been given the task of making a digital archive of any and all artwork that was in the house. He'd gotten to pore over page layouts from early on in Kishibe's career, stuff he'd drawn when he was still a teenager, for god's sake – it was the ultimate nerd job, in that sense.

Furthermore, Akira actually felt useful, which was a damn big change from the past few years of his life. He wasn't doing anything as far-reaching or as awesome as Rohan, but he was helping it get made, helping the creator operate at his very best; and that was something, right?

Then, of course, there was the other aspect of it. The I-kind-of-maybe-definitely-have-a-crush-on-my-boss aspect that made it an absolute pleasure to simply be near the artist. And in his newfound position of responsibility, he had been given another very important duty that he very much enjoyed: providing physical comfort, when necessary.

That was the third curious development in their relationship.

Oh, it was all innocent enough of course! Rohan had likened it to a cup of tea, a weighted blanket, a stress ball. Sometimes he just needed a body, and Akira was more than happy to provide one.

So when the artist was tired, he would ask Akira to hold him – just an embrace, nothing more, though sometimes the mangaka did in fact doze off in the other's lap. On these occasions Akira prayed that the rapid beating of his heart wouldn't disturb his boss' sleep.

When stressed, Akira was ordered to massage his back, shoulders, neck, whatever ailed him. Rohan always said that it helped him think clearly.

And when he was feeling especially sad, he would simply ask Akira to sit on his lap, just a warm body to squeeze and sigh against and help him find his way back to the moment.

For example, business meetings with publishers tended to be stressful and almost always prompted a need for Akira's special kind of comfort. Rohan absolutely hated talking with executives, and when there was no Izumi to act as a filter between the two, discussions could get pretty heated.

“Unbelievable,” Rohan muttered after one such occasion, burying his face in Akira's shoulder. “Did you hear the way that imbecile spoke to me?”

“They should know by now to just trust you,” Akira replied, shaking his head. “You obviously know what you're doing.”

“Exactly!” Rohan sighed and tangled his fingers in Akira's hair. “At least I have you, Otoishi. Honestly, at times it feels like you're the only person in the world who understands me. Thank you.”

Akira tried to conceal just how much that comment made his heart swell. “Of course, sensei,” he replied quietly. He would follow Rohan Kishibe to the end of the Earth. But he refrained from saying as much.

Rohan sighed again and began to stroke up and down Akira's back, fingertips running over his spine. The younger man shivered a bit, in spite of himself, and heard Rohan chuckle under his breath at the reaction.

“Oh? Sorry,” the artist mumbled, bringing his hand to a stop, “I hope that didn't bother you.”

“Not at all!” Akira quickly assured him. He looked away so his boss wouldn't see the pink rising into his face. “Just… surprised me, that's all. It actually felt kind of... nice. If it's soothing for you, then hey, go for it.”

So Rohan hummed and leaned into him again, repeating the slow drag up and down Akira's vertebrae. Akira swallowed hard, focused on a spot on the ceiling, and willed himself not to do any of the things that his body wanted to in that moment.

As if determined to make this task even more difficult for his poor assistant, Rohan suddenly tugged at the hem of Akira's shirt and slipped his hand beneath the fabric, then continued on as if nothing had changed. The ever so slight drag of his fingernails against Akira's skin caused the guitarist to lose his breath, goose-bumps pricking up all along his arms.

“Feels good?” Rohan asked gently, his voice low, and with something else in it that Akira didn't quite recognize, though it made his stomach tighten.

“Yeah,” he breathed, and it was the truth. It felt good, good, too good. He wasn't sure that it was supposed to. “U-um. But,” he stammered, “Don't worry about me, sensei, really. Are you feeling any better?”

“Much better, thank you,” murmured the other.

    -

    It was a gloomy, unsuspecting afternoon when The Big One happened. A meeting that went painfully awry and had Rohan arguing loudly with his colleague, struggling for restraint. Apparently, the publisher was canceling Kishibe's new spin-off project after deciding that his latest refusal to work with their revisions was the last straw.

Akira was approaching from the hallway when he heard the shouting match, tempers flaring on both sides. He was no stranger to Kishibe-san's bouts of anger, of course, but usually the mangaka was able to keep his demeanor cold and reasonably collected, funneling his anger through condescending commentary. This amount of shouting and cursing here implied that the executive had deeply offended Kishibe's honor and stood resolute in their decision to do so. Akira set down the laundry hamper he'd been carrying and paused to listen.

“Kishibe, for the last time, this is the publishing board's decision, and it is non-negotiable. We have nothing else to discuss, so I am ending this call.”

“Don't you dare hang up on me! I'm not done --”

A soft beeping tone indicated that the video call had been terminated, and Rohan's voice swearing loudly echoed through the halls of the old house. There was a metallic clang, most likely the trash bin being kicked over (which Akira made a mental note to clean up later.)

Once silence had finally settled over the studio, Akira peered in through the doorway to check on his superior. Rohan's elbows were resting on the desk, his hands laced together in front of his face.

“Sensei…?”

Rohan didn’t move. “...Akira. I’m sorry you had to hear that.”

The younger man entered the doorway fully. “Is there anything —“

“Yes.” Something rough and intimidating permeated his voice. “There is something you can do to make me feel better. Come here.”

Akira did so and Rohan turned the chair around to face him. He was tense as ever; a muscle in his jaw was twitching, and his eyebrows were drawn into angry arches as he looked up at his assistant. “Take off your shirt,” he demanded.

Akira was surprised by the abruptness of the command, but questioning his boss right now hardly seemed wise. He promptly obeyed, tugging the top up over his head. Immediately Rohan’s hand was on his abs, fingers splayed out, his expression unchanged. Akira sucked in a breath as his boss reached further upwards, fingertips grazing over his web of old scars.

“Pants,” Rohan said suddenly, and Akira didn’t have to guess his meaning. His hands fumbled with his belt buckle for a few endless seconds, then opened the fly of his pants and he bent to tug them down.

In an instant Rohan was out of the chair and kneeling in front of him, his eyes softening just slightly as he studied the obvious outline in Akira’s underwear. Licking his lips, Rohan dragged his eyes upwards to meet Akira’s own.

Akira gasped as his entire body trembled, his hands leaping to Rohan’s head to steady himself. “S-sensei?” Rohan hummed to acknowledge him. “What are you...?”

Rohan sighed and pulled back a bit, glancing upwards again. “I think it’s pretty obvious what I’m doing. Now, are you okay with it or not?”

“I...” Akira bit at his lip, blushing deeply. “I mean, uh... Yes? But... Are you sure...?”

That seemed to be all Rohan needed to hear, because in the next moment, he was yanking Akira’s boxers down past his knees.

-

When all was said and done, Rohan met Akira’s gaze with confident eye contact and wiped his mouth on his forearm; Akira’s mind was buzzing, uselessly.

“Tch…” Rohan reached into his pocket for his handkerchief and cleaned himself up quickly, as casually as if it were just a few drops of rain on an otherwise pleasant day. “You’re always so good to me,” he praised quietly, climbing up and into Akira's lap. His arms were around his assistant at once, his legs kicking out over the arm of the chair while his fingers played lazily with purple curls. “I think you deserve a raise for all of your hard work around here.”

“I… Thank you, sensei,” Akira breathed, still struggling to put together coherent thoughts.

    -

    A few days after this monumental occasion, when returning home for the evening, Akira found a large package waiting at his doorstep. Curious, he double- and triple-checked that the name and address on it was, in fact, his own. Eventually he brought it inside and laid it out on his living room floor to open it.

“No... way…” he whispered.

Looking back at him from the package was a brand new Ultra Luxe Fender Stratocaster.

    -

    Unsurprisingly, their dynamic shifted after the encounter. For one thing, now whenever Akira accompanied Kishibe on business trips, the two of them would share a hotel bed. And more often than not, he found himself helping his boss unwind after a long day in his special way...

Any time Rohan needed a confidence boost before an important meeting or a release of nerves after a media appearance, Akira dutifully allowed himself to be pressed against a wall or shoved into a bathroom stall, giving the mangaka's mouth and hands full reign over him.

This symbiotic relationship – loaded word as it was – continued on quite peacefully as the months came and went. And though they never spoke of it, there would always appear a small token of Rohan’s appreciation after the fact, whether in the form of a ludicrous bouquet or some audio gear that Akira had recently been daydreaming about. It wasn't necessary; Akira would happily serve as Rohan's companion even without the rewards afterwards, and even if there wasn't a paycheck involved. But he decided he ought to be grateful and not look a gift horse in the mouth... He was damn lucky to have found himself in his position, and he sure as hell wasn't going to complain about the special treatment.

    -

    On one otherwise unremarkable afternoon, as Akira was double-checking a contract, he could feel Kishibe’s eyes all over him -- and he had a feeling he knew why. Just as he was about to ask if he had something on his face, it occurred to him that all morning, he’d been absentmindedly using his free hand to rub at his left nipple, and his boss must have noticed.

“Um... Kishibe-sensei,” he said sheepishly. The mangaka paused in his work and met Akira’s eyes properly. “Do you mind if I do away with the shirt today? I wanted it to be a surprise, but… I got a new piercing last night, and it’s chafing like hell.”

For a split second Rohan almost looked flustered… almost. But then he nodded solemnly and replied, “Of course, go ahead. You know I want you to feel comfortable when you’re here.”

“Thank you sensei,” Akira breathed. He promptly unbuttoned his snug top and placed it over the back of his chair. He looked down at his chest, at the nipple that was sore and red. He pouted a bit, then glanced up to meet Rohan’s dark, hungry eyes.

“You know, Otoishi… I’ve just remembered something important I needed to do today. Why don’t we take a break from office work so you can give me a hand?” He rose from his chair and arched a brow before turning to leave the room.

Akira sat up straight in his chair and brightened.

He’d had his eye on an expensive new guitar amp lately.

And he had a good feeling about this.

-

Bonus:

#fanfic #fan fiction #jjba #JoJo's Bizarre Adventure #Rohan Kishibe #Akira Otoishi #akirohan #rohan x akira #yaoi #part 4 #diamond is unbreakable #rarepair #remember when i used to write stuff??

[pvpxrswvg]

Top 25 Albums of 2020

When preparing to make this list, my expectation was that the year would be awful and that I’d struggle to find enough albums to fill this list. 2019 was a weak year for mainstream hip-hop, but 2020 doubled down due to the pandemic that made no major name want to release a project in an environment where they couldn’t tour. If you go back and look at the highest selling releases, they are all either released prior to mid-march, or were released posthumously. 

Thankfully the underground put in work and we saw a lot of creative releases that resulted in an incredibly strong year. This might be the top 25 that I’m most happy with, as I’m confident that I found 25 strong and deserving releases.

While a year that was perhaps light on musical storylines, major events, and lasting cultural impact, there was definitely no drop in music quality.

Benny The Butcher - Burden of Proof

The Griselda trio of Benny The Butcher, Westside Gunn, and Conway the Machine followed up a dominant 2019 with another eight releases in 2020. Their gritty New York style felt like it couldn’t miss, and 2020 was the year where Griselda would take their dominance of the underground and try to get a foot into the mainstream. The Hit-Boy produced Burden of Proof doesn’t stray far from the grimy underground sounds that Griselda had patented, but by attaching enough big names to the project it ended up being the highest-charting Griselda album to date. Tracks like One Way Flight and War Paint offer something for the old fans, while some of the poppier tracks such as the Lil Wayne and Big Sean featured Timeless don’t hold back the quality of the release at all. Not Benny The Butcher’s best release, but still essential for any Griselda fans.

Big Baby Scumbag - www.flexedupshawty.com

While I can comfortably say that this may be the worst album on this list, I can’t as comfortably say that there’s a song from 2020 that I listened to more than Bobby Hill. The short and energetic trap anthem was one of my favourite songs of the year, as it brings an extreme amount of energy and an infectious beat. The rest of the album sadly wasn’t on that same level, but features a few decent moments such as Hurry Up & Buy.

Black Thought - Streams of Thought, Vol. 3: Cane & Able

While perhaps not the classic that many fans dreamed would be Black Thought’s first album, this was still a solid release. Without his The Roots bandmates, he enlisted the help of Indie Rockers Portugal. The Man resulting in some pretty interesting blends between their two sounds. There are also plenty of classic east-coast sounds here as well for fans of The Roots, as overall it’s an eclectic release. While not a classic by any means, Black Thought is still a great rapper and one who could sleepwalk his way to a decent album.

Blu & Exile - Miles

Combining for the first time in nearly a decade, the legendary duo of Blu & Exile returned in 2020 for an ambitious 95-minute rap record. While personally this is way too long for me, the subtle jazzy production from Exile and the dope rhymes from Blu make this a great release. If it was shorter I may have taken this more seriously as an AOTY contender, but this release does not offer enough interesting ideas to justify its absurd runtime. 

Conway the Machine - From King to A GOD

While staying truer to his sound here than Benny did on Burden of Proof, this is a much more professional effort from the gritty Buffalo rapper. While having released a series of underground classic mixtapes in the past, this feels like his first true album and it's the one that made me take notice of the “other” rapper from Griselda. It’s the strength of this release that made me also go back and take another look at past Griselda projects, and I’m glad I did as the group's sound has finally clicked for me. 

Conway the Machine + The Alchemist - LULU

A short EP from Conway featuring production from the legendary The Alchemist. While there’s nothing here that stands out as being a classic, this is one of the best 22 minutes of rap that you will listen to all year. The Alchemist producing the whole record helps a lot here, as this entire EP flows seamlessly. 

clipping. - Visions of Bodies Being Burned

While not as strong as 2019’s There Existed an Addiction to Blood, this album continues most of the same ideas that made it so great and has resulted in another strong project. Say the Name is also the strongest track across both releases and is perhaps the perfect rendition of the sound that clipping. has developed over the past decade.

Denzel Curry - 13LOOD 1N + 13LOOD OUT MIX

Officially a “mix”, the youtube release 13LOOD 1N + 13LOOD OUT is one of the hardest entries in Denzel’s discography. Picking up where Act 3 of TA13OO left off, this mix is an adrenaline rush that flows almost as if it were one 13-minute song. Taking a lot of influences from Trap Metal, Denzel on the first three tracks threatens to release an absolute classic. Unfortunately for me, I felt like the release dropped off from there, but it’s still a superb release and the hardest cut from my top 10. 

Ghais Guevara - May Ur Melanin Shield U From Ragnarok

While the most obscure entry to this list, Ghais Guevara’s self-produced release highlights him as one of the more interesting beatmakers coming up in the rap game. Ghais’ sample-heavy production takes influences from glitch, drill and trap and is unlike anything else released in 2020. Ghais Guevara brings energy with his rapping that compliments his production perfectly and the overall result is one of the strongest releases of 2020.

Mac Miller - Circles

Circles was the first posthumous release by the late Mac Miller, who fortunately had recorded most of this album prior to his passing in 2018. While hard to categorize, this album explores a variety of influences to match the eclectic vocals that Mac Miller had left behind. While personally I preferred Swimming to this, this is still incredible for a posthumous album.

Mach-Hommy - Mach’s Hard Lemonade

Mach’s Hard Lemonade was the only release from the usually prolific Mach-Hommy in 2020, and despite its 22-minute length it doesn’t disappoint. Maybe not quite at the level of 2019’s Wap Konn Jòj!, but this continues where that album left off and is more quality from perhaps the most consistent rapper in the game right now.

RXKNephew - Crack Therapy 3

This release is mostly featured for its almost 10-minute opener American ttterroristt. The paranoid ramblings over an ethereal cloud-rap-influenced beat are strangely alluring as RXKNephew gets everything off his chest including Adam and Eve, Benjamin Franklin, Will Smith, and Santa. The track is filled with hilarious one-liners that stick with you and somehow keep you interested for multiple 10-minute listens. 

Run The Jewels - RTJ4

Run The Jewels have reached an almost boring level of consistency. RTJ4 is a solid album, but despite exploring some new ideas, this feels like more of the same from the legendary duo. RTJ4 may be the weakest of their four albums, but it’s still better than 95% of what comes out these days. Perhaps I’m taking the quality of these albums for granted, but a great RTJ release just feels forgettable in 2020 given the strength and consistency of their discography.

Sematary - Rainbow Bridge 2

Sematary broke onto the scene in 2019 with an innovative blend of trap and black metal. On Rainbow Bridge 2, Sematary leans further into those black metal influences and opts for a darker and less anthemic sound. While still a strong release with plenty of dark atmospheres and catchy moments, it’s not on the same level as its 2019 predecessor. 

Sematary + Ghost Mountain - Hundred Acre Wrist

The second Sematary release with Ghost Mountain, Hundred Acre Wrist explores various Witch House and EDM influences resulting in a much more chaotic and experimental release. This release is loud and doesn’t ever let up. The rapping on this release is more forgettable compared to their 2019 release, as the sound on this album lends itself a lot more to the repetitive hooks found on most tracks. I can see this growing on me a lot more as time passes, but for now, this release is just outside of my top 10.

10. Kenny Mason - Angelic Hoodrat

Coming out of obscurity to release his first project, Kenny Mason on Angelic Hoodrat explores a variety of interesting sounds. The Atlanta native’s sound is heavily rooted in trap, yet this release sees him explore plenty of sounds from the worlds of rock and indie pop. An eclectic release overall, this album goes back and forth between classic trap bangers such as Hit and emotive guitar-led tracks such as Metal Wings. What makes this release more interesting is that for the most part, this album has lo-fi production and vocals on most tracks. While lo-fi hip hop is nothing new, it’s interesting to see it applied on an album with mostly trap and pop sounds.

9. JPEGMAFIA - EP!

A hard release for me to rate overall. The highs of this release may not have been matched by any other record from this year, as tracks such as Cutie Pie and Bald are genuine classics. Yet it’s hard for me to categorize this as a great release despite almost half of its 26-minute runtime being taken up by amazing tracks. There are a lot of low or middling moments on this EP and its inconsistency has me struggling to place it higher.

8. redveil - Niagara

Released and recorded at the age of 16, redveil’s Niagara is one of the most impressive releases that I’ve seen from somebody that age in any genre. The most astounding part is that this release is mostly self-produced; it’s borderline absurd how redeveil manages to be such an adept dual-threat at his age. The production on this release is arguably its strength, but redveil still manages to be a more than capable rapper. No matter what age redeveil was when he released this, tracks such as Drown, 5500 and Weight hold up compared to any other rapper’s efforts from 2020.

7. Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist - Alfredo

Off the back of 2019’s Bandana, Freddie Gibbs has teamed up with another legendary producer to release one of the year’s strongest albums. Since I’ve been doing these lists, I’ve shamelessly included every single project to come from Freddie Gibbs, and I’d rate this as his second strongest release in that time. Overall I’d also have to rate this as his strongest project that doesn’t include Madlib, as Freddie proves on Alfredo that he does his best work when paired with a single producer.

6. Westside Gunn - Pray for Paris

Every year when I go to make these lists, I go back and listen to Westside Gunn’s numerous releases from that respective year. Each time I try to see the appeal in the rapper, yet each time I’m left feeling like I’ve missed something. I haven’t disliked his music previously, but I found it hard to distinguish his sound from the endless list of names making the same New York-influenced rap. Pray for Paris is the album that finally woke me up and realize my past mistakes. Pray for Paris, similar to the other Griselda albums from this year, aims to make a timeless album that appeals to a wider audience. Pray for Paris was the most ambitious of these releases and is perhaps the most polarizing as it steps the furthest from the group’s traditional sound. The end result is a great album and my favourite Griselda project to date.

5. Ramirez & Rocci - THE PLAYA$ MANUAL

While previously existing in the underground worlds of Memphis, cloud, horrorcore, and trap metal influenced hardcore music, THE PLAYA$ MANUAL sees Ramirez turn to a local direction for his music as he releases a classic album dripping in west-coast, g-funk and bay area influences. It speaks to the talent of Ramirez that he is able to do so successfully, as it’s one of the more drastic sound changes in hip hop history. 

4. Denzel Curry - Unlocked

Entirely produced by Kenny Beats, the 18-minute EP Unlocked is Denzel at his rapping peak. With no features, Unlocked is 18-minutes straight of Denzel spitting fire and the energy and consistency that he brings over the course of this project speaks to his immense talent. Kenny Beats does a great job providing a background for this release, as his unmistakeable production is unlike any that Denzel has rapped over previously. Overall a great release that would have been heavily in contention for AOTY had it been longer. It’s also absurd to look back and see that I’ve now had a Denzel Curry project in the top four of all five of my AOTY lists.

3. R.A.P. Ferreira - Purple Moonlight Pages

Deciding to release this under his birthname, Milo has enlisted the help of frequent collaborators The Jefferson Park Boys to create one of the most jazz influenced records since A Tribe Called Quest’s The Low End Theory. Adding to the jazz influenced beats on this release is R.A.P. Ferreria’s vocals that border on spoken word and jazz poetry at times, which works incredibly well with the production. Underneath all of these sounds are tones of the usual dark and ethereal abstract production associated with Milo and the end result is a jazz record that is undeniably belonging to the underground rapper. Lacking the consistency to be a true classic, tracks such as Dust Up, U.D.I.G., and Ro Talk are the perfect renditions of this sound and help make this such a strong release.

2. Jean Dawson - Pixel Bath

Pixel Bath is an album that escapes an applicable genre tag. Perhaps best fitting under the vague alt-pop movement, Jean’s sound sits in the area right between hip-hop and indie pop. We’ve seen artists such as Kevin Abstract and Yuno produce similar sounds previously, but none sat as delicately outside the reach of any previously defined genre. The end result is a sound that’s unique to Jean Dawson alone, as he has created a sound that is unlike any other. Pixel Bath sees Jean Dawson explore this sound over its 39-minute length and it’s an enthralling listen as he explores the limits of this uncharted territory. Jean also does so with tremendous songwriting ability, which means that this exploration is filled with many classic and memorable tracks.

1.  21 Savage & Metro Boomin - SAVAGE MODE II

Savage Mode II begins with an intro from Morgan Freeman that best describes this project. 

“Great men with great ideals can be separated by hundreds or even thousands of miles and still be in the same place

They can be years or even generations apart in age

And yet, somehow, find themselves on the exact same page

When these men join forces to put the focus of reaching the same goals, to attain the same outcomes, they are not two, but one

Instead of simply adding one's common attributes to another's, they somehow tend to multiply all attributes of both”

SAVAGE MODE II is greater than the combination of 21 Savage and Metro Boomin. It’s perhaps the best trap album to date, and perhaps the best mainstream release in five years. While we’ve seen plenty of great rapper and producer trap collaborations previously, including the original Savage Mode, what separates this one from the rest is that Metro Boomin flexes his muscle as arguably the greatest trap producer of all time, and creates an array of beats that perhaps no other trap producer would be capable of. He does so while keeping them all perfectly suited to 21 Savage’s apathetic style, who brings undoubtedly his best and most energetic effort to date.

While I never would have considered 21 Savage capable of an AOTY caliber album, SAVAGE MODE II is undoubtedly worthy of the title in a year with one of my strongest top 10s. It’s 44-minute runtime is filled with a variety of enjoyable trap sounds, and the highlights such as Runnin, Many Men, Slidin, and Glock In My Lap stand up to any other rap release from 2020.

[yououghtaknow]

NEW CLIP: “Burn”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31310330/chapters/77691581

#skam brighton #this is what i like to call a MOMENT in al's hot boy summer #hot in the literal sense :) it's arson time :) #literally he's hot he's a boy he's writing like he's running out of time and he's very mentally unstable but he's HOT #also i have had a very good day today :) #i can't remember if i posted about it on here #but i applied for a national arts mentorship programme with queens university #and i got a phone call from them today that they're 'very interested' in me #and they haven't said i've been shortlisted yet but they're told me when and where the event for shortlisted people is #and they mentioned they've been looking into matching up other artists to me..... so i'm really hoping i'm gonna get in #it's a really good opportunity as an artist but also from a careers/academic perspective #also i applied with a song from my autism musical and the church scene from skambr s3 e4 c5 #to show Range and such. i really want to get in because it would literally be Life Changing for me. #and it would let me get some of my work performed professionally AND i would get paid #but if i don't get in i'm going to be doing driving lessons instead and hopefully getting my license which would be cool too :) #but god. the idea of being able to work on my musicals with a professional mentor all summer would be amazing #and it would basically be my first ever job/internship which would be So Cool #because i wasn't in school when i was supposed to do work experience and now it's too late for me to do it #but being able to do work experience with an actual theatrical professional... someone who Understand theatre and will help me improve #my mum called the organiser of the programme today to confirm that she knows i'm applying (because i'm a minor) #and she was like 'oh i support isaac so much and will do anything to help him get to where he wants to go' #and i felt like SUCH a rachel berry esque theatre kid in that moment. i felt like a kid on dance moms but in a good way. #but my mum isn't a Theatre Mom. she's just really supportive and kind <3 #anyways enjoy the clip besties. i really like it <3 #OH also ms olivia rodrigo's new album tonight. very excited for it #i'm a pisces mars so i enjoy her music very much (a very gay little sentence) #if skambr was a real show i would love to see a parallels post of the good 4 u music video and this clip for Fire Reasons #ALSO nick/bree/rori good 4 u amv. nick/liz/james drivers license amv. sandy/sophie/esther deja vu amv. #anyways just got hit with the inspiration to write a song <3 see you tomorrow besties

[illegal-spiegel]

Firsts w/ Kaoru

Pairing: Kaoru Hitachiin x gn!reader Genre: fluff Warnings: none

first meeting:

y’all met through, you guessed it, The Host Club

it wasn’t your idea to go

but Haruhi, poor, sweet, innocent Haruhi, was about to lose her marbles

she practically got onto her knees to beg you to keep her company

and what kind of friend would you be if you declined?

(you mainly just went because she bribed you with free tea and desserts)

when you showed up to Music Room #3, it was all that you were expecting and not at all what you were expecting at the same time

you eventually spotted Haruhi through all the people and eventually made your way over to her

the look on her face was almost comical

she bid her guests she was entertaining farewell and they left with watery eyes

you covered your mouth to hide your giggles as you took a seat on the soft couch across from her

“Thank god you showed up,” she groaned as she slumped back into her seat

you let your giggles out freely, studying her tired form

“Awe, is Haruhi tired of flirting?” you teased

she only grunted in response, closing her eyes and letting out a content sigh

you hummed in return, picking up a cookie that was on the table and started to munch on it

you two had a few minutes of silent peace before it was rudely interrupted

“Oh, Haruhi!” you hear two voices shout from behind you in unison

you swear you saw an irk mark appear on her forehead

you raise your brow and go to turn around to see who was causing her so much trouble just by saying two words when two people were suddenly leaning over the back of the couch you were sitting on

you looked to your left and saw a boy your and Haruhi’s age

you turned to the right and had to do a double-take when you saw the same face

‘these must be the infamous twins,’ you thought as you studied them

“What?” Haruhi groaned with dead eyes

you could see the smirks come onto the two boys’ faces

“What are you doing slacking off-” the one on the right started off

“-when you have a guest?” the left one finished you raised a brow at them as you pursed your lips

“She could ask you two the same thing? Why aren’t you tending to your guests?” you defended

the twins’ eyes widened as they turned to look at you, both silently studying you for a moment

“We got bored-”

“-so we came to see what Haruhi was doing.”

your brows furrowed as you look to the one on your left

“You just left your guests?”

Haruhi was the one to respond

“Kaoru probably ran out of fake tears,” she said with a smirk

the twins’ attention went back to her, the one on the right’s eyes widening

“Fake tears? My tears are real!” he defended

you took a mental note that the one on your right was Kaoru. Haruhi may have told you about them before but you were terrible with names

Haruhi only grunted in response before closing her eyes again

you saw their mouths open, ready to bother her some more

so, being the good friend you are, you quickly said something before they could

“Just leave her alone, okay? How about you entertain me?” you offered

from what Haruhi has told you, the twins liked to mess around with people. Whether it is playing pranks and tricks or just annoying them

so, you figured they’d happily take you up on the offer to ‘entertain’ you

as soon as you finished your sentence, a smirk was curling up on their lips

“Entertain you?”

“Why, we’d be honored!”

they ended up trying to actually do so at first, using their little brotherly love act

you quickly shut that down

once they realized you knew all their secrets, including Haruhi being a girl, there was a sudden shift in the way they acted towards you

they were more open suddenly

hanging out:

after meeting, he instantly took a liking to you

he and his brother wanted to become friends with you, mainly to annoy Haruhi 

they hung out with you as much as you allowed them to, which was often so you could give Haruhi a break

it took a couple weeks for Kaoru to work up the nerve to ask you to hangout with him without his brother there as well

you were surprised when he asked you, to say the least 

“Hey, would you wanna go to this museum with me? I somehow won free tickets in class and Hikaru doesn’t want to go. I, uh, know it sounds boring but—”

“I’d love to go with you, Kaoru,” you reassure with a big, warm smile

it was the first time he felt his heart do something weird in his chest 

that weekend, you two went to the museum and honestly had a really good time

you two pretty much just wandered around and talked the entire time, which was several hours 

he found it surprising and like a fresh breath of air at how easy it was to talk to you

he liked studying you when you would stare at something before you, your figure glowing under the big lights 

he knew by the time you two left that he had feelings for you

first hug:

you two hugged for the first when he took you home from the museum, actually 

his palms were sweating just from thinking of doing it 

he tried to tell himself that it wasn’t a big deal but he was just so nervous 

he opened the car door for you when you reached your house and even walked you to the door 

“Thanks for today, Kaoru,” you say softly, giving him that radiant smile that he loves so much 

“It was nothing. I’m just glad you agreed to go,” he admits with a small chuckle

you giggle in return and then you both go into silence 

“Well, I’ll see you at school on Monday,” you say to break the silence

without another word, he quickly pulls you into the hug then

he hears and feels you gasp, your arms staying by your side for a moment before slowly wrapping back around him 

“Yeah, see you on Monday,” he whispers, still holding onto you

you two hug each other a little longer than necessary but neither of you cared 

when you finally did let go of each other, both of your faces were warm

“Goodnight, Kaoru,” you whisper a little breathlessly 

“Goodnight, (Y/n),” he whispers back, finally stepping back to let you go inside

he walks back to his car and watches you unlock your door to make sure you get inside okay 

he then finally leaves with a racing heart and a red face

first time holding hands:

after going to the museum together, you two slowly started to get closer

you texted more often, always called, hung out without Hikaru more, and so on 

it didn’t take long for you to fall for him but you were unsure if he liked you back 

well, that is until October came around

the boys decided they wanted to do a haunted house type thing for their monthly event

after Kyoya talked it over with the principal, the club got permission to do it and to have it held inside the entire school

Kyoya went all out too. He hired professional actors and businesses to scare in the school

the club held it during Halloween weekend, that way they could clean up all the props before Monday

the club made a killer with the amount of people that wanted to participate and walk through the ‘haunted’ school

on Sunday, after the ‘maze’ closed, the host club decided that they should be able to walk through it as well

that’s how you ended up partnered up with Kaoru to walk through together

you two went last out of all of the groups, both of your hearts racing as you two walked into your dark school 

after the first jump scare, you two clung together before relaxing until the next scare

after a few scares, you two just ended up holding hands the whole way through 

you honestly didn’t even really notice since you were too focused on what’s around the corner, what’s in that room, or what that sound was

but Kaoru’s entire focused was on your hand in his, the way your skin looked, the way it felt

when you came out the back main exit of the school though, you instantly noticed

you both shyly smiled as you let go, trying to ignore everyone’s teasing as you all started cleaning up 

first date:

it wasn’t until mid-November that Kaoru asked you out on a date

you both were blushing like crazy as he stuttered out his date proposal and it was the most enduring thing you’ve ever seen 

he asked you out, to which you instantly said yes to, but when you asked where you two would be going, he refused to tell you 

he ended up taking you to a festival that was in town after you said that you didn’t want him wasting a lot of money on you 

plus, he’s really competitive, so it’s fun to play games with him 

you two tease each other back and forth the whole night, both of you winning a lot of games

he even won you a stuffed animal to which you playfully named it Hikaru

he ended up getting too much cotton candy and begged you to help him finish it 

you two spent the entire day there and when the sun started to set, he dragged you onto the ferris wheel 

it was very cliché but he kisses you at the top and you loved every second of it 

when he drove you home, neither of you were ready for the night to end 

so, you just ended up sitting in the car for hours just talking up a storm

when your first yawn is released, he does his best to ignore it but after the second time, he sighs and gives you a soft smile 

“You should head inside. I’ll text you when I get home, okay?” he says quietly, secretly wishing he didn’t say anything when you start to pout 

you rub at your eye though as you yawn again, slowly nodding your head

“Okay. Goodnight, Kaoru,” you whisper sweetly before hugging him

just before you get out of the car, you quickly peck his cheek before practically flying out of the vehicle

he chuckles at how flustered you are as you walk to the door of your home

he makes sure you get inside okay before driving back home

he sticks to his word and texts you when he arrives at home to which you both stayed up late texting each other because you didn’t want the mystical night to come to an end

first time giving a gift:

(we ain’t counting the stuffed animal (Hikaru) he gave you on your first date)

you two had been together for 3 months when Kaoru decided to get you something to celebrate

he asked all your friends along with all the people in the Host Club what they think you’d like 

he got many ideas ranging from clothes to food

he wasn’t quite sure what he wanted to get you but he’d figure it should be something nice but ‘simple’ 

on the day of your 3 months together, he picks you up from your house and takes you on a date

you tried telling him that you two didn’t have to celebrate the 3 month mark, but he wasn’t having it 

“You’re special to me and being together this long means a lot to me,” he said softly to you before kissing the back of your hand

he ends up taking you to a hill that looks over most of the town, a smile coming to your face when you see the view 

“It’s beautiful,” you reply when he asks what you think

“Not as beautiful as you,” he teases, shooting you a wink before hauling the picnic basket over to the blanket he set down for you both 

after setting everything up and getting comfy, you two dig into the food that he made

once you two have had your fill, you curl up together and watch the sunset

just before the sun completely sinks below the horizon, he pulls away from you a bit to reach into the basket

“Here,” is all he says as he offers you a rectangular box covered in velvet

you raise your brow up at him but gently take it from him and open it up 

you jaw drops open a bit when you see what rests inside, your heart skipping a beat as your tummy fills with butterflies

“Oh, Kaoru...” you whisper breathlessly, staring down at the intricate necklace

“Do you like it?” he whispers, worriedly staring at your shocked face 

“I, um, got it to represent our first date at the festival...” he continues when you don’t reply. “Sorry, I know it’s ugl—”

“No! No, I love it, Kaoru,” you quickly interrupt when he starts to backpedal. “Sorry, I just was thinking that it looks kind of expensive...”

“Well, ha, you see—”

“Kaoru, how much did you spend on this?”

he stays quiet for a moment, knowing how you’d react when he tells you 

he finally pipes up when you give him the look™️

“It was, um, ¥43,687...”

“Kaoru Hitachiin!” you screech, fully turning to face him with a horrified expression

“What? It’s not that bad!” he shouts, his cheeks starting to warm for some reason 

“Not that bad? Not that bad? You’re right. ¥43,687 is way worse than bad!” 

he groans and rolls his eyes, taking the box from you and taking the necklace out 

“Turn around.”

“No way! What if I break it? What if I lose it? What if—”

“What if zombies raised from the ground right now and killed me? Bam! Dead! Wouldn’t you want something to remember me by?” he teases with a smirk

it’s your turn to huff and roll your eyes now 

“That would never happen.”

“Well, yours would never happen either,” he argues

“Yes it could!”

“We can go back and forth all day, sweetheart. We can never know the future and it’s best to just live in the present.”

When you don’t reply, he smiles at you and holds up the necklace 

“You like it, right?”

“Well yes, but—“

“And you like me, right?”

“Kaoru—”

“Do you?”

“Yes! But, Kaoru—”

“Then put it on!” 

you two have a stare off before you give in, letting out a hefty sigh and turning to put your back to him

he slips the necklace onto you and your hand instantly goes to the ferris wheel pendant resting between your collar bones

“There. Ya see? That wasn’t so bad and you look even more beautiful than usual.”

your cheeks warm with the compliment as you spin around to face him again

“Shut up and kiss me,” you snap with a pout

he chuckles and leans forward to do just that 

first “I love you”:

you both actually wanted to say this on your picnic date but both ended up chickening out since you both thought it was too soon

ever since then, you both have tried and failed to say it 

when is the right time to say it? How long do you have to be dating for it to be okay? What if the other person wasn’t ready to say it back yet?

yeah, a lot of unnecessary worries and insecurities

it isn’t until it’s almost your sixth month anniversary that Kaoru finally works up the nerve to say it 

he was planning a little get away vacation for you two during the summer

when you came over to his house one day to hangout, he first plays it cool

you two do the normal stuff whenever you two hangout, watch your show, makeout a little, make food, the works

after you two are done eating and go to continue watching your show, he stops you

“Hey, there’s something I want to show you.” 

you raise your brow at this, wondering what he could want to show you

maybe a new show he wants to watch? 

“Yeah?” you ask, watching him pull something out from between the couch cushions 

he hands over an envelope to you with a smirk, making your brows furrow 

a letter?

“Go on. Open it,” he says with a chuckle 

you let out a short hum in reply and begin to open it up

you pull out two tickets to something, turning them around to look at the front 

“Are these first class tickets to Italy?” you ask, your voice trembling a bit 

“Yeah! I figured it was about time we went somewhere together!”

you shake your head and offer the tickets back to him, feeling as if you’re going to be sick 

“Kaoru, no. This is too much. I don’t need to go somewhere far or fancy or expensive to have fun with you,” you force out with wide eyes

he frowns at your words, refusing to take the tickets out of your shaky hands

“What? (Y/n), this is an amazing opportunity! Besides, these tickets were for me and Hikaru to go with our mom to one of her fashion shows in Italy. Hikaru is grounded now though for that stunt he pulled in class and she asked if I’d like to take you instead,” he explains with a soft smile, bringing his hand to your free one to give it a squeeze

you relax a bit at this news, now knowing he didn’t waste thousands of yen on you 

“Your mom offered?” He nods his head. “You’re sure she doesn’t mind me coming?” 

“Of course not, baby. You haven’t been around her much since she works so often, but she really does like you. She wouldn’t have asked you to come if she didn’t want you there. Plus, she has to punish Hikaru somehow.” 

you chuckle at that last part with a nod of your head

“Okay, fine. I’ll ask my parents about it and see if they’ll be okay with me going,” you agree

he lets out an excited squeal and surges towards you for a hug

“Yes! You’re the best! I love you!” 

at the three words, you both freeze and stare at each other, both of your faces heating up to a dangerous degree

“Sorry, I, um, I d—”

“I love you too, Kaoru,” you rush out before he can take it back

his grin comes right back to his face before he kisses you passionately 

first trip together:

turns out your parents were okay with you going since Kaoru’s mom will be there 

when you three were on the plane, you and Kaoru leaned against each other the entire time

to keep you busy, you two watched your show and movies, played card games, played games with each other on your phones, and so on

when you all finally reach your destination, you’re exhausted but you instantly perk up when you reach your ride to your hotel

you climb into the limo and both you and your boyfriend ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ at the beautiful scenery 

when you get to the hotel, his mother announces that Hikaru will share a bed with her while you get the other one. You don’t really mind since she’s paying for all this and you’re in Italy for crying out loud, but Kaoru whines and pouts for at least fifteen minutes

once you’re all in your jammies, you all practically pass out as soon as your heads hit the pillows 

you three were there for two weeks and you and Kaoru had so many cute dates

you went hiking, rode on gondolas, went on tours, took cooking classes, saw a musical, visited ancient buildings, went to the beach and did lots of swimming (where Kaoru got burned), and lots more!

his mom even let you participate in her fashion show

she dressed you up in expensive clothing and pushed you to walk on the runway

you were nervous at first but eventually got into it the more claps and cheers (from Kaoru) you got 

it was honestly some of the best days of your entire life

when it was the last day of being in Italy, Kaoru took you on your last date in the beautiful country

you both shared lots of ‘I love you’s followed by several kisses

⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰

MASTERLIST

More with Kaoru 

Tag List: @pointlesslygay, @katsuhera​ ✦ if you would like to be added or removed, comment or send an ask. Also, remember to tell me if you ever change your username so I can continue to tag you :)

⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰

#ohshc x reader #kaoru x reader #kaoru hitachiin x reader #ohshc #ohshc kaoru #ouran high school host club #ouran high school host club headcanons #ouran high school host club x reader #ohshc hcs #kaoru headcanons #kaoru hitachiin #kaoru hitachiin headcanons #ohshc kaoru hitachiin #ohshc fluff #ohshc x reader fluff #kaoru x reader fluff #kaoru hitachiin x reader fluff #ohshc twins #kaoru #kaoru hcs #kaoru hitachiin x gn reader #ohshc x gn reader

[soramei]

From Resentment (hhj)

Pairing: Hyunjin x Reader (she/her)

Summary: After a fated meeting involving a cute and fluffy puppy, you found yourself drawn to Hwang Hyunjin: the school prince. Everybody in high school loved him. It was hard not to. Not only was he rich, smart, and athletic, but he was also incredibly kind-hearted.

However, one day seemingly out of the blue, everything that you thought Hyunjin was came crashing down.

Now a freshman in university, you were excited to live out your dreams. That was, until Hyunjin came hurtling back into your life like an uncontrolled meteor. His presence threw a curveball on all your plans, and would eventually change your perspective on everything that you thought you knew.

Genre: studentl!hyunjin au, angst, enemies to lovers

Warnings: cursing, tw puking

Word Count: 8.8k

Masterlist

A/N: Not an Intentional update but a hyunjin oneshot!! disclaimer: no aspect of hyunjins personality here was drawn from real life — irl hyunjin is a ray of sunshine <3

You looked at your math homework, proud that you got all the answers correct. Since it was a slow afternoon at your job today, you had extra time to focus on your homework. The boss at the convenience store you worked at allowed you to have your homework out, as long as it was hidden behind the cash register.

As you stared at the rest of your homework, you started to feel the weight of tenth grade pile up on you. Because it was your first year of high school, you were still trying to adjust to everything; your grades, your teachers, and all the new students walking around the halls.

You stuffed the rest of your homework in your backpack. It was the end of your shift, and you wanted to go home as soon as possible to start with the rest of your studying. Crap. No matter how hard you tried to zip up your backpack, it wouldn’t close. After trying one more time, the zipper tore from your backpack.

You cursed under your breath. You couldn’t afford to buy a new backpack right now.

You had just been able to afford your new school uniform by taking up extra shifts at the convenience store, and you still needed money for your grandmother’s prescriptions. You sighed, annoyed to have another monetary stressor weighing on your shoulders.

Walking outside with your now torn backpack, your eyes widened at the group of boys in front of you. You immediately recognized them from behind.

The school princes. These three seniors were all known for three things: being extremely smart, handsome, and talented.

On the left was Seungmin, and from what you’ve heard, he was the smart and quiet one. He was always helping the teachers, being the class president and all. Any time a girl or a boy needed academic help, Seungmin was there and happy to assist.

The person on the right was Jisung. With his charming and charismatic personality, he had dated tens upon tens of girls in his grade. Just in the last year. It helped that he was really good looking — and also stinkin’ rich. His father was a notorious restaurateur, and with him being the first son, he was basically given unlimited spending rights.

The only person richer than Jisung was the boy in the center of them both: Hwang Hyunjin. This boy was the school prince. The prince of princes. He somehow managed to participate in music clubs, engage in study groups, and captain the soccer team all the while keeping up excellent grades. Every girl that Jisung had dated was said to have been rejected by Hyunjin first. That was his only flaw: he was notoriously cold to any and all romantic confessions.

You followed behind the three princes, staring at your torn up sneakers. You knew you didn’t exist in their world, but even being near three handsome and rich teenage boys made you nervous.

Suddenly, you heard a whimper coming from behind a bush to the left of you. It sounded like a hurt animal.

Worried and curious, you walked over to the bush to see what it was.

It was a puppy. Small and fluffy, it looked up at you with it’s beady black eyes and cried out. His paw was bleeding.

You panicked. Having never seen a hurt puppy before, you had no idea what to do. You called out for help.

“Help!” you cried, hoping that somebody had heard your call for help. You desperately wanted to help this hurt puppy, but you hesitated to touch it, afraid that you would hurt the animal even more.

The puppy howled in pain, making your panic rise. You were about to call out for help again, when you heard somebody running up behind you.

“What is it?” The voice asked.

“I-I don’t know. I just saw this dog here, and-and his paw is bleeding,” you anxiously stuttered.

“Here, let me take a look.”

You heard the voice behind you, so you shuffled over to make room.

It was Hwang Hyunjin. The person that responded to your cry for help was the most popular and well-liked person in the school. You were shocked, a bit intimidated actually, so you silently moved to the side for him. His black hair shone in the sunlight as he bent down to examine the dog.

“Come here, boy,” he chirped. The puppy listened, and started limping to him. “Something hurt you, didn’t it.”

He stood up, picking the puppy up along with him.

“C’mon,” he gestured with his head, “my vet isn’t too far from here actually. We can make it by walking.”

You silently nodded and followed him.

He was right. The walk to the veterinarian clinic, though very awkward, wasn’t too far. The clinic was empty at this time of day, with the receptionist being the only person in the room.

“Hyunjin! Always a pleasure,” the receptionist beamed. It seemed like Hyunjin’s likeability wasn’t only confined to your school. “My, what do we have here?”

“There’s something wrong with his paw,” Hyunjin tried to show the receptionist where the blood was coming from, “is the doctor free right now?”

“As a matter of fact, he is,” the receptionist said whilst checking the schedule. “I’ll take this little boy to the back where he can get prepped for the veterinarian.”

Hyunjin handed the puppy carefully to the receptionist. The receptionist took out a crate for the dog, put him in, and then disappeared through the back door. The two of you were now left alone in the waiting room.

“Uhm,” you coughed, “thank you. I know you probably want to get back to your friends, so you can leave now.”

“No, I’ll stay,” he looked at you and smiled, “those idiots are just playing LOL at the PC room anyways. Plus, I want to see how this little boy turns out.”

You smiled back at him, nodding your head. A few moments of awkward silence passed.

“I’m Hyunjin by the way,” he said.

“I know. I’m Y/n.”

“You’re in your first year, right?” he said, looking at the colour of your uniform.

“Yeah, it’s so hard to get used to though. I’m trying my best with my homework, but I think this school stuff just doesn’t click with me,” you rambled.

“Oh?”

“I want to go into dance. I’ve never been able to afford professional lessons, but I’ve always wanted to go to university for dance. My grandparents said they would let me if my school grades were high.” You didn’t know why you were giving your life story to Hyunjin. He just had this natural charisma that made you want to spill everything to him. It was the way he looked at you with those cat-like eyes.

“I know what you mean. It took me forever to convince my parents for me to major in dance. I got in by early admittance, but I’m sure they still have their reservations about my major.”

“You’re majoring in dance?” you asked, eyes wide.

He smiled. “I’ve loved dancing ever since I could remember. It’s my passion, and truthfully, the only thing I’ve got going for me.”

You were shocked. At school, Hyunjin was known for so many things other than dancing. Hell, you didn’t even know he enjoyed dancing and you thought you’d heard everything about him already.

The two of you chatted for a while longer before the vet came out with the now happy looking dog.

“It seemed like this little guy got into a fight with something, and he got a pretty large gash on his paw. Luckily, it wasn’t bleeding too much so I just gave him some anaesthetic and stitched it right up.”

You sighed in relief. “Thank god he isn’t too hurt.”

“Yes, it’s good that it wasn’t too bad,” the veterinarian agreed. “I’m assuming this is your dog? As soon as you finish with the bill, I can release this little guy and the both of you are ready to go.”

Oh yeah. The bill.

Although you knew you couldn’t afford to pay the vet bill, you didn’t know where this little dog would go if you couldn’t take him home. You did the mental calculations, and if you worked some extra shifts, you could probably be able to pick up the bill today. Buying a new backpack could be saved for another day.

“Sure, where can I pay?” you asked.

“Just over by the receptionist.” The veterinarian pointed.

You walked over to the receptionist, and she handed the bill over to you.

You almost fainted.

Just the anaesthetic and the stitches alone cost over two hundred dollars. This was extremely over your budget, and probably even more than the amount in your savings. You felt uneasy.

“Uhm, actually, I don’t think I can-”

“Do you take cash?”

Hyunjin had interrupted you, walked up to the receptionist, and pulled out his wallet. He peaked over your shoulder and took out a huge wad of cash to hand to the receptionist.

“Hyunjin, you don’t have to,” you begged. You felt bad that this guy you didn’t even know had just offered to cover you for over two hundred dollars.

“Think of it as a good luck gift from a fellow dancer.” He smiled.

That was when it clicked. You didn’t know what clicked, but it just did. It was his smile. It was the way the corners of his eyes crinkled up and how the corners of his lips pinched at the end. You now understood why all the girls at school were in love with him. He was quite literally perfect.

You thanked him profusely, even after the two of you had left the clinic. With the dog in your hand, you walked side by side with Hyunjin.

“So,” he started, “have you thought of a name for this guy yet?”

Oh yeah — he was your dog now. “Hmm, I don’t know yet.”

“What about Coco?”

“Coco?”

“Yeah, let’s see if he likes it.” Hyunjin leaned in and cooed at the little puppy. “Hi, little Coco!”

The puppy’s eyes lit up, and with his tongue stretched out, he started panting.

“I guess he likes it,” Hyunjin smiled. God, his smile could melt all of Antarctica.

“Coco it is.” You poked at Coco’s nose.

Hyunjin was about to say something back to you when his phone buzzed. He took a peak, rolled his eyes, then smiled. “My friends are god awful at games. I swear, they can’t even win one round without me. You’re okay with going home alone?”

He was going to walk you home? Could he be any more perfect?

You nodded your head. “Thank you, Hyunjin. I’ll pay you back for the bill one day.”

“No need,” he winked. “Like I said, it’s a good luck gift. Oh, and you can ask me if you need help with any school work. Anything to help a fellow dancer.”

He waved goodbye, then went running off in the other direction. You held Coco close to you, heart pounding. Although you didn’t want to be like all the other girls who fell for him, you felt like you were already falling for Hyunjin.

-

The next day, you had planned to go shopping for dog supplies after school. After a really long and arduous debate with yourself, you decided to sacrifice all of your savings in order to buy everything that Coco needed. You knew Hyunjin owned a dog himself, so throughout the whole day, you worked up the nerve to ask Hyunjin to come with you.

At the end of last period, you gathered all your stuff from your desk and headed to the soccer field where you knew Hyunjin and his friends would be. Whilst you crossed the field, you noticed Jisung staring at you. You found his stare intimidating, but you tried to brush it off. He then whispered something in Hyunjin’s ear.

“Hi, Hyunjin,” you said anxiously, biting your lip. “Umm, do you want to come with me to shop for Coco?”

He stared at you for a couple seconds, then, a look of disgust appeared on his face. “Why? So you can use my wallet again?”

You stared back at him, wide eyed. Who was this person? It wasn’t the Hyunjin that so graciously helped you out yesterday.

“W-what? No!” you exclaimed. “I-I just wanted your opinion…”

“Sure,” Hyunjin smirked coldly, “opinion my ass.”

“Hyunjin,” tears were pooling in your eyes, “I don’t understand.”

“If you need money so much, here.” He reached in his pocket and turned up a wad of cash, throwing it at your feet. “Just don’t come to me next time. And buy yourself a new pair of shoes while you’re at it.”

You looked down at the money, trying to hold back your tears. Why was Hyunjin being like this? You didn’t understand. His two jockeys beside him didn’t even bother to stop him. As you tried to stop yourself from crying, you felt your sadness turn into rage.

“I don’t need your stupid money,” you said, kicking the cash back to him. “Maybe you can use your daddy’s money to buy yourself a new personality.”

Hyunjin’s two friends tried to hold back their snickers at your words. Hyunjin heard, turned around, and gave them both death stares.

You didn’t bother to listen to whatever he was going to say next and simply stomped away, rage burning inside you. Everything about him was a lie. His charming and charismatic personality, his generosity, his kindness. They were all lies. He really was nothing but a rich, spoiled boy living with his father’s money.

There was rage behind every step you took. Wiping away your tears, you headed to your locker. You didn’t need him anyways; it was better to realize his true personality earlier rather than later. Hands shaking from anger, you dialed the combination to your locker.

“Hey, sorry about what happened earlier.” A voice came from behind you. “He can be a real jerk sometimes.”

It was Jisung. You rolled your eyes. You didn’t want to see him either.

“Why didn’t you do anything about it then?” Your voice came out shaky. It was obvious that you had cried.

“Once he starts, there’s no stopping him. It’s usually better to let him finish uninterrupted, or else he will get more mad.”

“Oh,” you said. Your hatred for Hyunjin grew even more.

“I could come with you, though. I don’t know much about dogs, but I can help you carry your bags.”

“I don’t know…”

“C’mon, no way you can carry everything by yourself.”

You hesitated. “Okay, I guess.”

And so, you left for the pet store with Jisung, still confused about everything that had happened. It was strange with him. He was nice and cracked a joke every now and then, but it was just different from being with Hyunjin. At least he was nice, you thought.

Your trip went well. You managed to buy everything you needed for Coco. In a turn of events, Jisung had actually come in handy as he offered to carry the huge bag of dog food you bought. He even offered to buy you a coffee.

“Thanks for all your help, Jisung.” You stood outside the door of your apartment, smiling at him.

“No problem, gives me an excuse to work out my guns.” He pretended to flex his arms.

You choked back a laugh.

“You should get going now. It’s late,” you said.

“Alright,” he started to leave. “Hey, if you see me in the halls, feel free to say hi.”

You nodded and waved to him as he turned and walked away, remembering his words. Every time you saw Jisung in the school hallways, you gave him a small wave in which he happily returned. However, whenever you saw him walking with Hyunjin, you made sure to purposely avoid them. You didn’t want any negativity in your life.

You kept up the waves, and soon, waves turned to small conversations which soon turned to flirting. By the end of the semester, you and Jisung somehow ended up as a couple. Jisung was polite and sweet, unlike a certain person. With every free moment you had, you hung out with Jisung — all the while avoiding Hyunjin.

The two of you stayed a couple for the rest of Jisung’s senior year. Somehow, the two of you had even kept up your relationship throughout your whole high school experience. It was hard at times as he went to university, but with a lot of effort, you had made your relationship work out. You barely had time to talk with him, but you enjoyed the little time that you did have. Jisung had never even once mentioned Hyunjin when you were together, and with time, you had totally forgotten about that jerk. You weren’t even sure if they were still friends.

You worked hard in school and reaped all the benefits. Your rank had consistently been in the top twenties amongst all the other students, and you even had time to practice your dancing. You remembered the day that you received your acceptance letter from university. Hands shaking, you had barely managed to open the letter all the way before you screamed. You had gotten into university with your dream major: dance.

Because of your excellent grades, you were able to pay a lot of your tuition with scholarship money alone. You hesitantly decided to quit your job at the convenience store to focus on university. Although quitting meant that your bank account would take a big hit, you decided that it would be best in the long run. There was a lot in your savings, and you even had a little extra to buy a new outfit for your first day of school.

Jisung had been busy on the first day of university. He had previously promised to show you around campus, but with him being a no-show, you wandered around by yourself to try to find your classes. You had trouble with the campus map at first, but after walking around for a bit, you were able to find all your classes with ease.

Your first few classes were a snore. Because they were all theory, you had to down two cups of coffee in order to stay awake. Somehow, you managed to take coherent notes despite being bored out of your mind. You just wanted to dance.

The good thing was, after sitting through many classes, your time to dance finally came. Your last class of the day was an introduction to dance course, and you couldn’t wait to go. You wanted to know your teacher, your peers, and most importantly, express yourself.

The dance class was in a studio in the university’s fitness center. It was huge, way bigger than the tiny gym in your high school. Upon entering the studio, you were immediately met with the sight of students, exactly like you, already stretching. You chose a spot in the room and started stretching as well, making good use of your time before the instructor comes in.

After some time, most of the students — including you — had finished stretching and were sitting in silence waiting for the instructor. The door swung open, breaking the silence. The instructor had come in.

“Hello new students,” he said, “welcome to Dance 100. Today, I will go through the curriculum with you as well as introduce your final project.”

The instructor whipped out a projection of the curriculum and started explaining the purpose of the course, what you would be graded on, and how you would be graded. He then read through his class expectations before moving to your final project.

“This final project will act in place of a final exam,” he explained. “You will be required to create a dance that includes everything we’ve learned in class and write an essay explaining all the elements in your dance. It will be worth half your grade.”

The class gasped in surprise. Not only did this project sound extremely difficult for a first year course, but the fact that it was worth half your grade made it borderline unfair.

“I know it might seem difficult, but worry not, you won’t be doing this alone. Every year, the first year dance students get mentored by the third year dance students for the final project. Each student has already been assigned a random mentor which will be introduced this class.”

The whole class murmured, talking amongst themselves and expressing their opinions on this project. It was definitely an interesting project. You hoped that you would be paired with a good mentor that would actually care about how well you did.

There was a knock on the door.

“Ah, this must be them.” Your instructor opened the door and a wave of third years came flooding in. Each one of them had a name tag pinned on their shirts. “Class, these are the third year students.”

You all politely greeted them.

“Now,” the instructor continued, “I will put the class list on the projector, and each of your names will correspond to a third year mentor.”

The instructor put out the list for display. You scanned down the list of names, eventually finding yours. Following the dots to your corresponding mentor, you almost choked on air when you saw yours.

It was Hwang Hyunjin.

You were at a loss for words. Just when you thought he was out of your life forever, the man that was so incredibly mean to you — the man you hated with your whole soul — was now your mentor. Just the thought of being in the same room as him filled you with disgust.

You scanned the sea of third year students, and your eyes immediately found him. He was staring back at you with the same shocked expression that you had on.

He looked different. Not only had he grown taller, but he had lost all his baby fat as well. His hair was different too. It was bleached blond and it almost hit his shoulders. What was the same, however, was his intense stare and his plump lips.

You walked over to him.

“You look different.” His eyes scanned up and down.

“So do you.” You clenched your jaw and sighed. “I guess we have to work together.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” he said flatly.

“Listen,” you copied his tone, “I’m not excited about this either, but I want to get a good grade for this class. If you don’t wanna help me, just say so and I’ll just work alone on this.”

“Don’t be stupid,” he rolled his eyes, “this is part of my grade too. I can’t let you fuck this up for the both of us.”

You rolled your eyes back at him and pressed your lips in a thin line. Ignoring what he said, you asked, “where do we start?”

“Let’s find a time to meet every week.” He pulled out the newest iPad model from his bag. Of course he would have the newest iPad. “I’m busy every day except Saturday, so let’s meet then.”

Way to consider your opinion. He was lucky that you weren’t busy on the weekends.

As Hyunjin worked on sorting his schedule, you took your time to look at how he had changed. With his hair blonde, he looked like a completely different person. You didn’t understand why he kept his hair long though. It kept falling in his eyes.

“Stop staring at me. It’s freaking me out.” He narrowed his eyes at you.

“I wasn’t.” You crossed your arms, defending yourself.

“Whatever.” He tucked his hair behind his ear and put his iPad back in his bag. “Don’t be late on Saturday.”

And with that, he left. You looked around the class. Most of the other students were still with their mentors, presumably getting to know each other and discussing the project. You almost wanted to ask your instructor to switch with somebody else, but that would mean passing on the nightmare known as Hwang Hyunjin onto a perfectly innocent person. You had your moments, but you weren’t evil.

The interaction with Hyunjin had left you in a sour mood for the rest of the day. You tried to study, but you were too distracted by the thought of having to work with that monstrosity for a whole semester. It was worth so much of your grade, too. You had just hoped that Hyunjin was as good at dance as he previously told you. You remembered him saying how dance was his passion in life. That was when you still liked him. Who knows, maybe he only said that so he could play you like every other girl he played with.

For the rest of the week, whenever you thought of the dance project, you were filled with dread. You tried to ignore it, and sometimes it worked, but most of the time it kept reappearing in your mind like a virus. The way Hyunjin had infected your mind bothered you to no end.

Time passed fast though, and before you knew it, Saturday had already come. Searching through your closet, you picked out a simple outfit for practice today. You slid on your tattered old sneakers and headed off to the studio that Hyunjin had told you to go to.

Entering the dance studio, you noticed that you were right on time. However, Hyunjin was not. Great… He made such a big deal over you being on time that he himself forgot to be punctual. You sat on the wood floors and started to do some stretches to warm up.

Eventually, after you finished your stretching, he entered the studio. With a girl. Holding a textbook, Hyunjin handed it to the girl and put on his signature deceitful smile. His ugly, perfect smile. The girl batted her eyes and waved her fingers goodbye before strolling out the door. You rolled your eyes at this, feeling bad for the girl. Hyunjin was playing her right in front of her own eyes and she didn’t even realize it.

“Were you really late because of a girl?” you sneered.

“Why do you care?” he retorted, flinging his bag to the corner of the room.

“I don’t.”

“Sure you don’t.”

Not wanting to waste time with that childish banter, you decided to end the conversation then and there. “Okay, well anyways, I’ll show you what I learned in class this week.”

Hooking up your phone to the speaker, you chose the song that you’ve been practicing with for the whole week. As the song progressed, you found it hard to not get lost in the music. Just dancing was the easy part; incorporating everything learned in class was another story. Although it was fairly difficult, you thought you executed everything very well as the song came to an end. Finishing up, you panted from exhaustion and looked at Hyunjin for his comments.

He stood, with his arms crossed across his torso, leaning against the speaker. There was a blank expression on his face.

“Not bad.” He started to walk up to you.

“But?”

“But you’re too stiff. You’re too focused on perfectly executing the technical moves that you forget to just move your body. Do what you did half-way through the song again.”

You turned the music on, trying to do the dance with Hyunjin’s criticisms in mind. Looking in the mirror, you did your best to show as much emotion as possible, all the while moving more fluidly. The room was filled with heavy bass and the squeaks from your sneakers.

Suddenly, the music was abruptly cut off.

Hyunjin had stopped the music and was making his way over, face still unreadable.

“You’re still trying too hard and it shows.” Hyunjin shook his head.

Clenching your jaw, you did your best to hold back your anger. Were you just not supposed to try? This annoyed you. Just because he didn’t need to try to be good at anything didn’t mean you couldn’t.

“Well,” you tried to say calmly, “how can I do this then?”

“You have to relax.” He put one hand on your hip and started to guide you. “Don’t focus on each individual aspect, but try to imagine everything as a whole. Then, things will come naturally.”

You followed his hand, allowing Hyunjin to guide you to his own rhythm. After a while, every movement felt so fluid and you didn’t even notice that your face started to match your movements. Glancing at your reflection, you gasped, noticing how different your dancing looked. You whipped your head to face Hyunjin, the two of your inches apart and breathing heavily.

“See,” he mumbled, looking down at you. “Once you stop thinking, everything just comes naturally.”

You looked back at the person inches away from you. It almost felt as if he was being kind. But you knew the type of person he was. You weren’t going to let this happen again. Snapping out of what weird trance you were in, you pushed him away in an act of self perseverance.

He didn’t say anything.

“I’ll try again,” you said.

Hyunjin strolled over to the speaker and turned on the music. This time, you didn’t think about anything you learned in class or Hyunjin’s criticisms. You just trusted in your body. Everything else was blank.

Taking a step forward while still in your trance, your shoe lost its grip on the floor, causing you to fall right on your knee. You cried in pain, holding on to your knee.

“Fuck,” Hyunjin hissed. He ran over and bent down to your level. “Can you move it?”

“I think so.” You tried to straighten your knee. It hurt, but you were still able to do it. There would most likely be a nasty bruise there the next morning.

“You’re still wearing those scraps that you call shoes? They’re literally coming apart at the seams. This is going to happen again if you don’t get new ones.”

You blushed in embarrassment from his remarks. “I’m not going to spend money on things that I don’t need.”

“Well, you need shoes. Just go buy a new pair later.”

Was he being serious? Or was he just spoiled?

“Hyunjin, not everybody can just go spend money whenever they want,” you loudly sighed. “Unlike you, I need to consider my budget for most things.”

“Well, why can’t you ask your boyfriend to buy it?” he sneered. “Seems like you’re good at doing that.”

How did he know you were still dating Jisung? What did he mean by ‘good at doing that’?

“What?” You crossed your eyebrows. “Do you think I’m with him just for his money? Do I really look like that kind of person to you?”

“You used me for my money,” he mumbled under his breath.

“What?” You couldn’t hear him right.

“Nevermind, rehearsal's over.” He stomped off, leaving you alone in the practice room holding on to your injured knee.

-

You busied yourself with everything and anything you could do over the weekend in order to forget what happened during rehearsal. However, no matter how hard you tried to forget, Hyunjin’s comments on your shoes stuck in your mind like glue.

During your shift at your job, you couldn’t help but keep staring at your worn sneakers. You never paid attention to your shoes before until now. They did the job, so why would you need to buy a new pair? Still, you unconsciously paid attention to every step you took.

On Monday’s dance class, you decided to go early. It was always nice to warm up in a room with other try-hards. They felt less judgemental than the others.

The studio barely had anybody in it this early before class. Everybody was either stretching or had already started going over what was taught last week. Shuffling your way over to your locker, you couldn’t help but compare everybody else’s shoes to your own. You’ve never cared about trivial matters such as shoes, but you couldn’t help but feel a little self conscious as your worn-in sneakers squeaked its way over to the lockers.

Opening your locker, your eyes widened, shocked at what you saw. Inside was a box containing a brand new pair of sneakers. It was an expensive brand as well, a brand that you never thought you would be touching in your life. You turned your head around, scanning the room. Everybody seemed to have been busy with their own thing.

Did somebody put these in your locker by mistake?

Taking the shoes out, you noticed a small slip of paper fly out. You picked up the note.

Keep these. I was a jerk.

You knew who had sent this. It was Hyunjin. You didn’t know what game he was trying to play at, but you weren’t going to fall for it like you did that day in high school. Gingerly putting the shoes back in your locker, you decided to return these back to Hyunjin at your next practice.

-

“No, I gave them to you as a gift.” Hyunjin turned his nose up at you, refusing to take back the shoes.

“Why would you give these to me if you think that I only use people for their money?”

“Because,” he rolled his eyes, “if you’re unable to dance then my grade is screwed as well.”

He made a good point, but you were stubborn. “Still…”

“You know what? Keep it, give it away, sell it, I don’t care. Let’s just start practice.”

After that dance practice, you threw your old shoes in the trash.

-

It was midterm season a month into school. You thought you had gone to hell and back with high school, but this was even worse. Each day consisted of waking up, studying, and going back to sleep. You lived on coffee and toast. It wasn’t much, but it gave you the energy to sit at the library for hours to study.

You didn’t see anybody during the midterm season, Instead, you chose to hermit yourself up at the library for days on end. This meant that, at least for a couple of weeks, your dance practice with Hyunjin was put on hiatus. Not that he minded, of course. He happily deleted the practices from his schedule.

You also didn’t see much of your boyfriend, Jisung. Ever since school started, he seemed to always be missing in action. He would almost never have time to be with you, and with the few moments that he was, it seemed like he was always so apathetic towards you. You brushed this off as stress though, as you finally knew what it was like to experience university exams.

It was a clear and sunny day on the morning you finished your last midterm. Leaving the exam room, you looked up to the sky, basking in the sun. Today was going to be a good day. Not only were you now stress free, but you were also invited to an end-of-midterm party for your dance class tonight. You had never gone to a university party before, so when a classmate asked if you wanted to go, you eagerly accepted.

Wrapping up your dance class, you stood at your locker, gathering the rest of your stuff.

“Hey.” An arm wrapped around you.

“Hey, Jisung.” You smiled, turning around to face him.

“You’re done all your midterms?”

“Yup.” You nodded happily.

He took a look at your shoes.

“New shoes?”

You hesitated in answering his question, not knowing where Jisung was with Hyunjin in terms of friendship. It was better to be truthful now rather than apologizing later.

“Hyunjin gave it to me.” You looked down, fiddling with your fingers. Why were you afraid of Jisung’s response?

“Wait, what? Hwang Hyunjin? Like from high school? Y/n, I thought you hated him.”

“I did! And I do,” you tried to explain, “but he had a reason to give me this.”

“Bullshit, Y/n. You’re really gonna believe any reason he pulls out of his ass? I thought you actually matured from high school.”

“Well, you would understand if you were around more often!” you yelled. You knew it was wrong to address other problems and blow this out of proportion, but you couldn’t think straight. Your mind was clouded with anger.

“What does this have to do with anything?” Jisung barked back. “What we’re talking about is how you, no matter how shitty of a person Hyunjin is, keep going back to him! Y/n, all that man does is take. He takes from you and he sure as hell takes everything from me. I won’t let that happen this time.”

When had he taken anything from you? All he had done was give.

“Jisung, let’s end this.”

“You’re right. Let’s cool down and talk later tonight.”

“No,” you shook your head, “I mean, let's end us.”

Jisung looked at you in disgust. “It’s Hyunjin, isn’t it?”

“No,” you vehemently denied, “Jisung, you never have time for me, and the little time we do have together you act like a different person. And now you’re being all possessive just because Hyunjin gave me a gift? I’m sorry, I just don’t see us recovering from this.”

“Fine, whatever.” Jisung turned around. “We’re done. But Y/n, don’t come running back to me when Hyunjin screws you over like he does with everybody.”

After Jisung left, you stomped your foot on the ground, tears pooling in your eyes. It was for the best — breaking up with him. For the past month, you hadn’t been happy with where your relationship was going, but this wasn’t the way you wanted to end an almost three year relationship.

Wiping away your tears, you tried to compose yourself before heading over to the pub. Jisung wasn’t worth the tears.

The walk to the pub wasn’t far as every establishment catered to students was a short walking distance from campus. For your entire walk over, you kept your head down so as to not receive looks from others. The headache from your cries and a blush of anger still lingered with you. Hopefully you’ll look somewhat normal by the time you reach the bar.

Checking your reflection once more in your phone camera, you fixed your hair a bit before going inside.

The bar was filled.

With students from both your dance class and the third year class, there was not an empty corner in sight. The music was loud, but the sounds of chatter coming from the students were louder. The place was dark, with the only source of light coming from very dim, bright blue LEDs.

It was surprising to see everybody in a different setting. You were used to the sight of your classmates being only in sweats and workout clothes, but now that they actually had time to get ready, everybody seemed like a completely different person.

You saw a few of your classmates wave at you, beckoning you over to where they were sitting. As soon as your butt landed on the chair, they spared no time to push a shot glass filled with clear liquor in front of you. You gladly took the drink, wanting to just let go and forget about everything that happened today. Holding back a cough, you scrunched your face as you felt the alcohol burn in your throat. It had been so long since the last time you drank.

After five you stopped counting. Partly because you knew you were going to drink more, but mostly because your head couldn’t even count to five anymore. Scrunching your eyes, you tried to focus on the blurry figure of your classmate complaining about her professor. Bored out of your mind as her mindless babble went on forever, your eyes started roaming around the bar. As your eyes wandered, you noticed somebody behind your classmate staring at you.

Hwang Hyunjin.

Even in your inebriated state of mind, you knew that it was Hyunjin. What other university student had the balls to bleach their whole head blonde? Your eyes met, and he ran a hand through his golden locks. Why do the most beautiful people harbour the most wretched personalities?

You tried to ignore his staring by focusing your attention back on your classmate, but eventually, you couldn’t help but glance back at him. He was still looking at you.

You saw a girl come up to him. She was the same girl that showed up with him on your first ever practice session. Because of the dimly lit bar and your drunken vision impairment, you had to really squint to make out what was going on. The girl, all smiley and giggly, put her hand on his shoulder, making Hyunjin break his eye contact with you. He smiled at the girl, mouthing words that were drowned out by the music. For some reason, this made you furious. Why was he so nice to everybody else but you? What had you ever done to him to make him hate you so much?

You kept your eyes on the girl, knowing full well that you shouldn’t have. You hated that — even on your night off, even when you had just broken up with your boyfriend — Hyunjin was still in your mind like an unkillable parasite. You hated the way he tucked his hair behind his ears. You hated how the corners of his eyes crinkled up when he smiled at her. You hated him.

You watched as she leaned in and whispered something in his ear, causing him to laugh. That was the last straw. In a drunken haze, you took your phone and bolted out the door, ignoring the concerns of all your classmates. Maybe it had been a mistake breaking up with Jisung. Maybe he really did know what was best for you.

Stumbling out onto the street, you tried to dial Jisung’s phone number. It proved to be too difficult of a task, however, as your drunken fingers could only tap on random numbers on the screen. You cried out of frustration.

“Y/n.”

The voice coming from behind you startled you, causing you to lose your grip on the phone. It dropped on the cement with a loud crack. Tears welled up in your eyes as you bent down to pick up your phone. There was a huge crack right down the middle of the screen.

“You cracked my phone,” you said, trying to keep your composure.

“So? It’s not like it’s worth much anyways. Just ask your boyfriend to buy you one.” Hyunjin’s evil eyes squinted down at you.

“Why are you still on about this? Hyunjin, I’ve never used anybody for money and I never will!” You couldn’t control the tears flowing down your face. “Plus, I couldn’t even if I wanted to. I broke up with Jisung today.”

You didn’t know why you were spilling your guts to the last man in the world you would trust. Surely, it was the alcohol.

“Y/n.” His tone had completely changed. He almost looked — concerned?

“Whatever, Hyunjin,” you slurred. “Just leave me alone. You can go back to that girl and have your fun with her.”

“Why do you care?”

“I don’t care.”

“Y/n, why do you care?” His tone got louder.

“I don’t!” you yelled at him. Your tears made everything even more blurry.

“Y/n! Tell me, why do you care?!” He spat back at you with just as much fury.

“Fuck you, Hyunjin. News flash, not everything in the world revolves around you and your rich and prestigious life. Maybe you wouldn’t be so toxic if you would just understand that.” You screamed at him through your sobs. “Also, I don’t know where you got this stupid story of my being a cash whore from, but I will say this one last time: I have worked for everything in my life and I have never and will never use anybody for their money.”

Hyunjin looked back at you, shocked. You stared back at him in disgust. Not wanting to waste anymore time on him, you stumbled down the street to look for a taxi. However, as you wobbled down the pavement, everything became even blurrier than before. You felt nauseous. You couldn’t control it anymore.

You threw up. All over the sidewalk. You couldn’t stop. Every time you thought that it was over, more and more came out. Your throat burned, and it wasn’t just the alcohol.

As you hurled out all the remains of today’s lunch, your hair was held back.

“Get away from me, Hyunjin,” you groaned. You didn’t want him to see you this weak.

“Who else is gonna take care of your drunk ass, idiot,” he mumbled.

That was the last thing you heard before everything went black.

-

It was a blinding white light that woke you up. You groaned, trying to block the light with your forearm. Cracking your neck, you tried to holster yourself up.

You were on a leather couch. Squinting, you surveyed the room you were in. It was clean, spacious. The floor was a white marble — there wasn’t a single speck of dust to be seen. Across from you was an incredibly wide TV with many game consoles scattered around it. You looked behind you. There was a large kitchen island illuminated by warm pendant lights. Sitting at the island, on his laptop, was Hyunjin.

“Wh-what happened to me?”

“You’re the worst fucking drinker I’ve ever seen, that’s what happened.”

You rolled your eyes.

Hyunjin ignored you, standing up and leaving for another room. Less than a minute later, he reappeared with a toothbrush and a roll of toothpaste.

“Go clean up. You look disgusting.”

You snatched the toothbrush from his hands. He pointed over to the bathroom and you trudged your way over. His bathroom was huge, almost bigger than your bedroom at home. You felt as if you were in a hotel.

“Your bathroom is huge.” After washing up, you felt not only cleaner, but more awake. “You’re really living the life with your family’s money, huh.”

Hyunjin sighed, slamming his laptop shut causing you to flinch. “Why, after everything, do you think I’m this rich, pretentious fuck?”

You rolled your eyes. Not this again. “Well, why do you still think I’m this money hungry monster?”

“You really wanna know why, Y/n? It’s because Jisung told me so. He was the one who told me that all those years ago.”

You were shocked. Jisung was the one who told him that? Your ex-boyfriend that you had loved and dated for almost three years? You didn’t want to believe it, you really didn’t, but there was this tiny whisper in the back of your mind telling you that it was true. He had a reason to — Jisung was always going on about how Hyunjin always took from him.

“But Y/n, I-” He stopped mid-sentence.

“You what, Hyunjin?”

He pressed his lips to yours, caressing the back of your head. You were shocked, but almost autonomously, your lips parted feeling the heat of his breath against yours. He pressed his body to yours, running his hand down your waist. His lips, the same lips responsible for his perfect smile, felt so soft against your own. You heard the thuds of his heartbeat as he held you closer.

You broke apart, gasping for breath. The realization of what you had done just hit you.

In a panic, you used your whole strength to push his body away from you. “I-I have to go.”

“Y/n, wait!” Hyunjin called.

You paid him no attention. Instead, you ran across the marble floors, hoisted the front door open, and sprinted out. Hoping that Hyunjin wasn’t following you, found your way outside and took a taxi home.

You sat in silence, trying to process what had just happened. You had just kissed Hyunjin. You had just kissed Hyunjin. Hands shaking, you grasped at the ends of your hair, trying to calm yourself down. Did that just happen?

You were more mad at yourself than at him. How could you have just kissed Hyunjin? You hated him. He was nothing but rude to you, never smiling and always accusing you of things that were clearly lies. He made you feel self conscious, nervous, and everything in between. You hated him.

But he was so sweet on that fateful day in high school. He gave you a new pair of shoes when you had slipped during practice, and he held your hair for you when you were drunk. His hair glistened in the sunlight, his smile made your heart race, and his lips ignited sparks of every colour in the rainbow in your chest.

You hated Hwang Hyunjin. You hated how fast you became infatuated with him on that day in high school, and no matter how much you tried to deny it, you hated that your feelings haven’t changed ever since. You hated Hwang Hyunjin. You hated that you loved him.

Curling up in your bed, there was no stopping the tears flowing down your face. You cried and cried upon this realization, and you remained this way for the rest of the day. The effect Hyunjin had on you was bigger than you ever expected, and you hated it.

-

At school, you tried to avoid as many people as possible. The kiss you had shared with Hyunjin was plaguing your mind, distracting you and igniting the fire that was your inner turmoil. Even the thought of Hyunjin put a strain in your heart. It was the way his breath fanned over your nose, gently tickling it like a bird’s feather and the soft silk of his blonde locks brushing up against your cheeks.

You shook your head, trying to erase any and every thought of that man. Walking to your locker, you were stopped in your tracks, the dam in your eyes starting to crack. You couldn’t do this today. You turned around to go somewhere else — anywhere else.

“Y/n, wait.”

You sniffed, wiped stray tears from your eyes, and picked up your pace.

“Y/n.” He grabbed your shoulder, turning you around to face him.

“Hyunjin, please, I can’t do this today.”

“Are you… Are you crying?” He touched your face, wiping your tears with his thumb. “Y/n, why are you crying?”

You shook your head. You were scared of what would happen if you opened your stupid mouth.

“Y/n, please.” Hyunjin begged. His voice was shaking. “Tell me why.”

You shook your head again.

“Y/n, please.” His voice cracked.

“Hyunjin,” you paused, taking a shaky breath, “it’s because I love you. I’ve loved you ever since the first moment you smiled at my pathetic ass. Even when you hurt me more than anyone has hurt me before… I never had a choice, Hyunjin. It’s always been you.”

You tore yourself away from Hyunjin, embarrassed to your core. That was the most humiliating thing you’ve ever done, but at least you had closure now.

“Y/n…”

“No, Hyunjin. You’ve torn me down and humiliated me enough already. What more could you possibly want?” You demanded, aware that everybody around you was staring.

“Y/n,” Hyunjin rasped, “It’s only ever been you. I’ve spent the last three years miserable knowing that you were with someone else. I’ve-I’ve never even been with another girl in the past three years. I know you have no reason to believe me because I was such an ass. I am such an ass. Y/n, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for projecting my insecurities on you, I’m sorry for accusing you of things I know you’ve never done, and I’m sorry for anything else I might have fucking done. Y/n, I love you. Please, I don’t fucking deserve it, but is there any way you could forgive me?”

You stared at Hyunjin’s bloodshot eyes, tears freely flowing down your cheeks, and before you could even think, you found yourself pressed against his lips. Your eyes closed, savouring the feeling of his soft lips touching your own. His wet cheek pressed against your own, and with a nudge of the nose, Hyunjin deepend the kiss with a raw passion in which you’ve never felt before.

You cradled his head, relishing in his silken blonde hair as you brushed your fingers through his locks. He sighed in response, his breath tickling against your cheek. You were fully aware that everyone on campus had seen both your messy confessions of love, but you didn’t care. All you could do was replay the moment that Hyunjin had said those words — those three tiny words — over and over in your head as you ran your fingers through his hair and kissed his soft, honey lips.

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[meowniee]

Lee Taeyong - One Shot

Pairing: Female Reader (photographer) x Lee Taeyong (idol)

Genre: Smut

Word Count: 4,2k

Warnings: oral (f/m) | fingering (f) | penetration | protected sex | squirt | manhandling | finger sucking

Synopsis: Who would have thought that doing a photo shoot with NCT would lead you to stay after your working hours in a room alone with Taeyong...

You were already asleep when you got a call from your boss. One of the photographers who would be working tomorrow had gotten sick and he needed you to go to work in her place. You had been hired a few months ago, but you hadn't worked on any major projects yet, even though your experience in the field is impeccable. He asked you to arrive early tomorrow at the film set and your colleague would explain all the work. You were so excited, it would be your first opportunity to show your talent, whatever job it was.

You could barely sleep and ended up waking up earlier than you needed to. You chose a comfortable outfit, pants and shirt, ate your favorite breakfast, did some very basic makeup, highlighting your cute lips, and went out to the photo set. The day was beautiful with a very blue sky and a shining sun. It was almost 10 am when you arrived at the luxurious hotel where the photos would be. At the entrance, your colleague was waiting for you with an iced coffee in each hand. You greeted each other quickly, thanking her for the coffee, and headed into the hotel, picking up your credentials at the lobby. On the way to the main hall, she explained to you that they would have a big crew today because they were going to photograph a famous K-pop group, NCT127. Each photographer would be responsible for one of them during the individual photos, and the photos would be taken in a hotel room according to the aesthetic that each one wanted. She told you that you would be responsible for Taeyong, the leader of the group. You were shocked. You were just replacing the sick photographer and were you responsible for none other than the GROUP LEADER? “Don't worry, he's an experienced idol. He'll help you with whatever you need. He's also a sweetheart, rest assured”, she said, patting your arm. You sighed in relief. You need to do your best today to take your best pictures. You knew Taeyong and how perfect he was in the photos. His features were sharp and his gaze was deep, the best set for a good model.

It didn't take long for all the photographers and directors to arrive, preparing their cameras, lights and scenery, reviewing the positions and space around them. The beats of their music echoed faintly through the hall. You heard rumbles coming from the entrance to the hall and turned to see what was going on. The boys had arrived along with their security guards and managers. They were mostly in sweats and comfortable clothes, clearly without the luxurious outfits prepared for the photos. Some messy hair, sleepy eyes and yawns accompanied their expression, but that didn't stop you from noticing how beautiful they were. Extremely beautiful. They were talking to each other, sipping their coffee, laughing and settling down next to the staff members. The blonde one, Taeyong, stood in front of them, ceasing their conversation. They greeted all of the staff, bowing and smiling. The director took the lead and made the general introductions. "We will have a team responsible for each member to optimize the work today. Please direct each member to their workstation to begin preparations". He called one name at a time, redirecting the boys to their teams. The makeup artists and hairdressers started to work, preparing their looks according to the references they had received. You stood a little away from him, a little embarrassed, holding your camera. You didn't want to take pictures of him without makeup, respecting his personal space, so you waited until the stylists had finished. He was perfect now, with his hair straight and his makeup done. Soft pink lips emphasized the shape. He was fiddling with his cell phone, waiting for the moment to go change. You approached slowly. “Hi Mr. Lee… I’m Y/n. I am your photographer today”, you introduced yourself, bending a little and unable to look at him. “Hey! Nice to meet you.”. You raised your eyes a little to see him. He was smiling and waving his hand. “I didn't know you. Are you new here?”, he asked. “Yes… Hm… I'm replacing a colleague who couldn't come”, you answered, squeezing your camera in your hands. “If you have any questions or need help, just ask me, okay?”, he smiled and got up to go dress up. You breathed a sigh of relief. You were very nervous and hadn't even realized you weren't breathing properly. He seemed very kind and that made you more relieved.

The group photos were quick. The boys were very professional, they knew exactly what to do, where to look and how to position their bodies. They were very comfortable with the production, playing games with each other but not disturbing each other's work. Everyone's attention was focused on them, always going to fix some hair that was out of place, or some slightly smudged makeup. Words of encouragement from the photographers only made them more excited. You were always watching Taeyong. You needed to learn how he looked at the camera, what angles he preferred and how he liked to pose for pictures. He was the one who looked most comfortable among them all. He wore burgundy pants and a shiny leather jacket, no shirt. Sometimes your eyes locked, making your whole body heat up, and eventually you would shyly look away.

Everyone had lunch at the hotel restaurant and then went to the individual sets. All lights and equipment were mounted. The rooms weren't very big, but the staff was downsized now so you wouldn't have a problem with that. The room had a bed by the window, a sofa across the room, and a rug with wave patterns. The pale colors contrasted with Taeyong's clothes.

Individual photos took longer. Taeyong always stopped to look at the result in the notebook, giving suggestions for light, for angles, praising your photos. You were getting more and more comfortable with him, laughing at the jokes and daring to get closer. “It's almost 7 PM, we should start wrapping up”, you said. He looked at you. “I really want to try some other poses and angles. Y/n, can you stay up a little later?” he asked and you nodded quickly. It was your most important job so far and you would make the most of it. “We won't need the production. You all can go. These photos will be for my personal project. Thank you so much for your hard work today”. He said, turning to the rest of the staff. They thanked and bowed, starting to pack their things and leave the room. You were very happy that he asked you to take more photos for his personal project. So he liked your work, right? You were enjoying working with him too. The conversation and exchange of ideas flowed easily. You quickly understood what he wanted and could reproduce it with your clicks. You had good chemistry together. “I'm going to go down and get my stuff from downstairs and from there we can start, ok?”, you said, opening the door and heading for the elevator. You were very excited... and a little nervous about being alone in a room with him. Quickly grabbing your extra lights and lenses, you went back to the hotel room, thinking of all the angles that could be made there. You knocked on the door before entering. Taeyong had his notebook open, sitting on the couch. The room was cozier now that all the lights were out and there wasn't a lot of equipment in the corners. “I ordered drinks and some snacks for us. We can relax a little while I explain to you what I thought for these photos.”, he said as you put your things down by the couch, sitting on the bed in front of him. “Oh thank you! So… Tell me a little about your project, please”, you asked him. His eyes were shining as he told you about his new album that he produced himself. He was thinking about taking photos to promote digitally. A sexier concept as his songs were very intimate. You really liked everything. He had a very artistic mind and he spoke in a very emotional way.

The snacks arrived and you thanked them, you were starving. At some point you sat next to him on the couch while he showed you pictures he liked, so you could follow the concept. You both finished eating and you got up, “How do you want to start? Maybe on the couch?”, he nodded, crossing his legs and leaning on the sofa, his tiger look appearing again. His duality was incredible. Super cute and adorable off camera, but extremely irresistible on them. His poses were great and you always praised him between them, cheering him on. He lay on his back on the couch, letting his arm fall over the edge, looking directly at you through the camera lens. This was the best photo of the night, for sure. He sat, legs closed, back laying on the couch. If you were your camera right now, you would be melted by his gaze. “Can you take one up close?”, he asked. You positioned yourself very close to his legs, leaning forward to get as close as possible, trying to balance. “You can put your legs around mine. That’s okay”. You did as he said, timidly opening your legs and getting closer to him, his legs between yours. He lay a little more on the couch, flirting with the lenses. Or with you? You didn't know anymore at that point. You tried to get a little closer, but you lost your balance, falling forward. He quickly put his hands around your waist, holding you, making you sit in his lap. “Are you ok?”, he asked. You were so embarrassed, your cheeks were burning. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry. Thank you”, you whispered. You didn't try to get up and he didn't move either. His hands still gripping your waist, holding you in place. “Maybe a photo this close will be good”, he murmured, lightly squeezing his hands on you. You quickly raised the camera. You thanked you for not having to look him in the eye, but being able to see him through the lens was a really amazing view. You clicked several times, trying to capture the most of the moment. You tightened your thighs around him, getting closer. His hands gently moved down your legs as his gaze traveled over your entire body. He bit his lower lip when you whispered a compliment, letting his head fall back, panting softly. He was enjoying the whole moment, just like you. You took his chin between your fingers and pushed it up, making him face the camera. Your thumb lightly scraping the bitten lip as he opened it slightly. Lowering the camera, you glared into his eyes, pushing your finger slowly between his lips, testing the waters. You let a low moan escape as he ran his tongue over your finger, circling slowly and then closing his lips around it.

Taeyong was so sexy already totally drunk with pleasure underneath you, with labored breathing and huge pupils dilated by arousal. You could almost feel him melt under your touch, giving himself completely. Was this really happening? Or did you hit your head in the elevator and this is all just your mind's creation? The questioning passed quickly when you felt a sharp bite on your finger, pulling you back to reality. Yes, he was there, deliciously sucking your finger like it was the tastiest candy he'd ever had. Putting the camera to one side entirely, you looked deep into his eyes, lifting your head with a defiant look as your fingers tightened inside his mouth, forcing him to open it. He took a deep breath before suddenly grabbing you around the waist and pulling you close to his chest, causing you to lose your balance and fall onto his chest completely, bracing both your hands on the couch behind him. You felt him pushing his hips up against yours just before your lips met. His lips were colder than yours, giving you goosebumps. Quickly devouring each other, the kiss became extremely hot as your tongues twisted against each other, tasting the sweet needy taste. You slipped your hand from his chest, past his neck, into his blonde hair, tangling your fingers in, pressing your mouths even closer, deepening the kiss. A purr resonated through his chest, leaving you extremely excited. He was so responsive to your actions, melting at any gesture, especially when you showed dominance over him.

You let your head fall back, leaving your neck free, guiding Taeyong to kiss you there. Despite the strength of your hand in his hair, he took his time kissing your jaw until he reached the base of your neck, biting and licking near your collarbone. His hands moved up from your hips, working their way under your shirt, reaching the base of your breasts. His hands weren't big, but they hugged your ribs as best they could. Running his hands down your back until he reached your shoulders, he pressed you down, against your prominent volume growing inside his pants, kissing the valley between your breasts through your shirt. You can do nothing but sigh. You grabbed the hem of your shirt and pulled it up, letting Taeyong sink between your breasts, kissing them through the lace of your bra as his deft hands opened it from behind. He pulled back for a moment as he slipped the straps over your shoulder, letting the bra fall between you, quickly tossing it to the side. Admiring your bare breasts, he cupped them both in his hands, massaging them gently, playing with your nipples between his fingers, lightly squeezing, earning a moan from you. Looking deep into your eyes, he brought his pink lips near to your nipple, pressing the tip of his tongue around it before capturing it with his mouth. The other one was being pinched and twirled between his fingers. You could feel your arousal making you wet, pooling in the fabric of your panties. You pressed your hips against his, trying to feel him hard against your clothed core.

You were startled when he quickly flipped you over with your back to the couch, sitting you down and pulling your hips closer to the edge. He found the waistband of your pants and pulled it with his fingers along with your panties, leaving you totally naked. His eyes ran all over your body, burning through every part they passed. Spreading your legs, he positioned in the middle as he sought your lips for another hot kiss. He was still fully dressed and it made you a little embarrassed to be undressed. You took advantage of the fact that he was close and started to open the buttons on his leather coat as he sucked your tongue and left bites on your lips. He helped you finish taking off his coat, throwing it somewhere in the room. He took a moment for you to look at him between your legs, standing up, and appreciate his gorgeous torso, now exposed since he wasn't wearing any shirt. He knelt gracefully between your legs, still looking into your eyes, and placed his hands on the inner part of your thigh, forcing you to spread your legs even further so that he could fit his broad shoulders between them. He brought his lips too close to your wet folds, but he didn't touch, just laid there, breathing hot, making you feel how close he was from your core. You grabbed his hair and forced his head against you, which he gladly accepted, flattening his tongue on your cunt. It didn't take long before he was devouring you hungrily, licking up all of your liquid, sucking on your clit and twisting his tongue around it. It felt great and you moaned his name under your breath, trying not to yell at all the neighbors to hear. You felt your orgasm approaching and began to roll your hips, rubbing yourself against his tongue. You couldn't help when your back arched and the wave of heat spilled over your whole body. He didn't stop sucking on your clit, prolonging the sensation of pleasure as your body writhed with each movement. When the sensation started to get painful from overstimulation, he slipped two fingers inside your wet interior, starting to move them curved, reaching the most sensitive point. You were about to ask him to stop when you felt another orgasm coming. His fingers worked fast in and out of your pussy, rubbing your g-spot with precision, while his mouth kissed your super sensitive clit. You felt an incredible pressure taking hold of your uterus, as if your bladder were suddenly too full. You tried to close your legs, but he held you tight, looking you in the eyes, daring you to stay there. You were hit by a high-speed train when your second orgasm came too quickly compared to the previous one. “Fuck…”, you yelled as you heard the louder and wet noises spreading through the room as Taeyong guided you through your moment of ecstasy. When you managed to open your eyes, he was looking at you with a proud smile on his lips. “God…that was really hot…”, he said, bringing his soaked fingers to his mouth, sucking each one until there was no juices left. You looked at your legs and saw that they were much wetter than usual. It's been a long time since you last had a squirt. And you were sure this wasn't the first time he's done this with a woman.

You saw his other hand rubbing the volume down his pants. He made you feel so good and now you wanted to return the favor. “Get up”, you asked, signaling with your finger. He immediately got up. Small dark stains covered the front of his burgundy pants, hit by your juices. Both of his hands were clasped behind his back, puffing out his chest and taking a deep breath, waiting for you. You reached for the button on his pants, undoing it slowly as you teased him with your gaze. You slid the zipper down at a slow pace, anticipating your touch on his cock. He was wearing black boxers, which fit perfectly against his body, showing the design of his hard member constrained by the fabric. You dropped his pants on his feet. Taking a firm grip on his ass and squeezing, you brought your lips close to his still-covered volume, sliding your lips over his length. You earned a sigh of appreciation. He didn't tease you, so you wouldn't tease him either. You grabbed the waistband of his boxers and pulled it down, freeing his hard cock. He was wet with pre-cum, glistening in the bedroom light, inviting your mouth to suck it. You took it in your hand, being careful not to put too much pressure, and brought the tip to your lips, giving light kisses around it as you looked at him. His eyes sparkling with anticipation when you stuck your tongue out, gently circling, collecting the pre-cum to taste it. He was so sweet you almost couldn't believe it. You put his whole head in your mouth and increased the pressure on your hand, making him moan louder than before. Sliding down to the end of its length and back, feeling it hit the back of your throat, you started to suck it, your other hand mimicking your movements, but to the opposite side. When your head twisted to the right as you swallowed his length, your hand met twisting to the left. He was moaning hard from pleasure, making you feel proud of your perfect blowjob. You were determined to make him come in your mouth, so you took his balls with your free hand, gently massaging them back and forth as you deepthroated his entire length. You were about to go back when you felt his hand pressing your head further, keeping his cock in your hot throat. You couldn't fight the gag reflex, but he pulled back your head, freeing your throat so you could breathe.

Your lips were all wet with saliva, as was his dick. He pulled your head, making you look at him. "Please… I don't want to come yet…", he begged between sighs. You stood up, hugging his defined waist, quickly spinning him around, causing him to lose his balance and land on the couch. You sat on his lap, positioning your needy pussy on top of his hard cock. Resting your hands on his chest, you started grinding his entire length with your wet folds. He took hold of your hips and helped guide the movement, rolling his eyes back at the wonderful feeling it was like to have you slide past him. “Do you have a condom?”, you asked. He was a little bewildered with pleasure and looked a little startled by the question. “Y-yes…”, he replied, quickly reaching into his wallet and pulling one out. You barely waited for him to finish putting on as you positioned yourself with your entrance to the head of his cock, taking advantage that he was holding it up.

You slid painfully slowly across his length, watching his gaze fixed on where he disappeared inside you. You both moaned low as you reached the end, waiting until your tight walls got used to his size. He cupped both of your breasts, taking one of them in his mouth and kissing it as if it were your lips. You started to roll your hips with his dick deep inside you. “Fuck…”, you both whispered. You couldn't keep it that way for long, so you got up until it almost came out of you, and sank down again. You kept the rhythm steady, enjoying the pleasure inside you. Your brain still didn't seem to process the fact that you were fucking none other than Taeyong. He was really perfect, like he came out of an anime. And he was enjoying being there with you… it made you even more turned out. He started to move his hips too, slamming against you harder, pushing even deeper. You couldn't hold back a shriek of pleasure as it hit so deep you could have sworn you'd feel pain there tomorrow. He kept it deep and strong, the thrusts getting more and more sloppy while the two of you were a moaning mess. Both bodies tense feeling the orgasm approaching, labored breathing filling the room with gasps of air. Grabbing the hair at the back of his head and forcing him away from your sensitive nipple, you captured his lips with yours, still tasting your own juice on his tongue. You could feel your walls tightening and his cock throbbing. You stopped bouncing on him, just focusing on kissing his mouth, but he held your hips in the air, giving him room to move under you, pushing his cock deeper and faster with harder and harder. You dropped your head at the base of his neck, moaning not so low his name as he nibbled and sucked on your neck, increasing your pleasure even further. “Fuck, Taeyong… I’m so close… Please, don’t stop”, you begged this time, holding tight his body against yours. Your words made him fuck you even faster, moaning in a low tone countless curses in your ear. Your orgasm erupted as he licked and bit your earlobe, giving you shivers all over your body, followed by the tingling sensation. Your walls squeezed his cock hard inside you, sucking him in with your pussy. He couldn’t hold it any longer and he's bursted all of his cum into the condom, deep inside you. He didn't stop moving in and out until you were both almost starting to feel pain from overstimulation.

You lay there cuddled together as your bodies rested, restoring your breathing rhythm and heartbeat. This all still didn't feel real. You just had the best sex of your life with… him. You were awakened from your thoughts by his voice in your ear. “Can we take a shower together?”, he asked, his voice so soft he didn't sound like the same person from a few minutes ago. “Only if you wash my hair for me…”, you joked. “Okay, I can do that”, he smiled. He helped you to your feet and went to the bathroom and started getting ready for the shower. “I'll order us something to eat if you don't mind. I'm hungry and I believe you are too”. You nodded as you wrapped yourself in the robe that was in the bedroom. He was being so adorable and caring. In fact, you wouldn't expect him to just send you away after having melted under your touch so easily. He was a gentleman and he was making you feel special right now.

The shower was fun and he let you do various hairstyles with the shampoo bubbles in his hair. Also the timing was perfect. As soon as you guys got out of the shower and wrapped yourself in your hotel robes, the food he ordered arrived in your room. Both of you ate while he told stories about behind the scenes in the clips and funny situations with other members of the group. He was so easy to talk to and give you pleasure that you could easily fall in love...

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