#but everything thats happened lately

[another-emotional-wreck]

i cant wait to leave this house lmao

#it's honestly not even that bad compared to some people I know #shit some of my friends have way worse situations that mine #but im so tired of having to take care of everything all the time #and being so sad and anxious and stressed #i just wanna be able to be a teenager and enjoy what little time I have left in high school #its not fair cause everyone around me gets to just be normal #even my own fucking siblings #whole time this seasonal depression is kicking my black ass and it feels like I cant even fully explain it to anyone #and i wanna cry about it but the tears literally wont come out lmao #so im listening to buttercup by hippo campus instead #which kinda helps ngl #but everything thats happened lately #idk ive been tryna stay okay for the past few years and between the depression and (likely) autism it's taking such a huge toll #i feel like my brain needs to throw up or something #even my best friend doesnt seem to get it and ik its not her job to provide me with therapy or anything and that shes trying #but i feel so fucking lonely lmao #and my moms birthday was this past Saturday so that was a thing #idk #i just wanna sleep for a really long time i think #cause rn i feel like my mental state is close to how it was freshman year and i actually don't think ill make it if i end up back there #lolz #anywhoo #im totally being dramatic its all good #lee rants #lee rambles

[medicalunprofessional]

play dentist

#caligosto loboto #dr loboto #but specifically wayyy younger #psychonauts #trainofthought #things that will make sense to me specifically and also close friends. i thinj #kind of rough but i dont care #umm 911? my dentist is being Really Fucking Weird 🫣🫣🫣🫣 #skirt because it said so. i happened. i was there. i was the dentist #holy crap i forgot the nose bridhe. of the glssses. oh fudge.. ummm… 2 late 😇 #i was looking up refference images. Why are they just. selling dental equipment on amazon..??? #like. for personal use. #Thats…. Not Okay…. I think. #praying that i got everything labeled right #blood tw #<-kind of..?? its more implied if anything #every day my vintage effects get more and more aggressive #soon you will barely be able to see my artwork it will just be noise /j #the hardest part about posting art is convincing myself to post it… #whavery… the internet has to deal with my sillyness and i will simply not care

[skunkes]

might sound weird to say as a person with a couple ocs who have Big Horrible Event(s) in their backstories or as a person who has like 3 ocs total bc he sucks at writing and as a person who hopes their ocs arent too Boring with [the thing im about to mention] but the thing about writing [characters] and [people] is that like.

any little thing a person experiences can take up their whole existence... its actually something "fun" to experience as i meet new ppl and do more things. My friend had something happen that she'll be talking about forever. I had several things happen last year that ill never stop talking about, some of which other ppl think werent that bad actually. In the same way I'll forever remember about the way my sister accidentally insulted me almost 10 years ago, it's really interesting and Fun to find and assign smaller things like that to characters...its really Real. some people's dealbreakers are other people's solvable problems etc etc

#(as well as the opposite: Big Event that maybe shocks everyone around em but they genuinely werent shaken by) #though this one is more common and leads to those ''ohh i didnt know that was normal oops'' moments #talkys #inspired by recent me and friend events #and also recent events where i told sum ppl more stuff about Thing and they responded as if it wasnt a big deal. but it was to me. #and also how i thought a part of al's childhood backstory was kind of maybe dumb and not realistically as impactful as id expect #but i saw someone on reddit almost word for word write that as their experience and how its shaped em as a person #and thats it like... the small things are boring and hard to keep track of sometimes #its not like you'll include every single little event your oc was shaped by in their bio #but idk. its like Fun to piece together for fun. to mold a human being #ykwim? wld be silly to tell everyone ''oh my oc struggles with self image due to many instances like... when their sister called em ugly'' #or write it anywhere but it is fun to Know and have in your head. and its real ! #just like if a friend told you about something that happened to em #long post #delete later #sorry i keep saying stupid obvious shit lately ive always been bad at oc making AND socializing so im learning everything late #but anyway yes. idk even as i keep making ocs that are ''similar'' its like. every person so different #people can react to anything in any way for any reason. i love people #this is why i struggle a bit with keeping ocs to archetypes i guess bc like. what is ooc for an oc. people contain contradictions all the #time. you can change yourself at any time. #ok nobody will read this far so ill go to the real insane rambling #part of this has been a part of my chats with talon while trying to get him to share more info #like. yeah ok you're 400+ years old the things that happened to you were such a comparatively small part of your life #but humans dont live as long and think about small things until they die. i dont think time would heal all wounds actually. not all of em #some thoughts just always come to gnaw at your brain. its ok to not be over things. i feel ill never be over some things #and also complainerism can be fun but thats something else entirely wee hee ^_^

[froginninjago]

Day 108: They aren't happy anymore

@ninja-knox-ur-sox-off

I told you I'd make you something detailed. I know this doesn't follow the fic exactly with the scenes, but let me have a bit of creative liberty please? (I already took some with the house because I don't remember it)

#lego ninjago #frogs 365 day challenge #ninjago kai #ninjago zane #ninjago cole #that first panel is supposed to be the light #i put Kai staring directly into it #it would be the best thing thats happened to him lately #temporary vision damage #better than the permanent mental damage #also please use imagination to give Zane and Cole game controllers. they didn't fit in frame #but they are supposed to be in the void! #Kai isn't in a headspace to process everything #and all but the second panel is supposed to be his POV #also Kai's hair looking nothing like its supposed to is intentional #when I don't take care of my hair it loses volume #so i gave him that #and theres no gel because he runs his hands through it

[scrapoddles]

if you occasionally do requests, could you maybe draw porrim? (ive noticed you havent drawn her!)

yes i very much can do that actually

#porrim #porrim maryam #hs #homestuck #homestuck trolls #dancestors #uh #bogged down as hell rn\ #so everything im doing is slow and late #but thats ok it happens

[miasanmuller]

Josip deserved a better treatment from Bayern. He always gave everything with the little playtime he got, proved more than once that he’s a reliable defender, never complained about sitting on the bench most of the time - in fact, more than once clearly stated he had no problem with competition and fighting for his position. He’s a Bayern Academy product. 

Selling him to keep Pavard, a player who clearly wants to leave, is the least Mia San Mia thing I can possibly imagine and I want Tuchel and everyone responsible for this horrendous team management to rot in the depths of hell

#sorry if im being dramatic but this symbolizes everything thats wrong and fucked up with this club lately #and i know im biting my tongue bc i never liked him... but if nagelsmann was still here this would not happen #anyway im pissed #josip stanisic #bayern #fc bayern

[todayisafridaynight]

any hopes for kiwami 3? like things u wanna see added or changed stuff like that

if they dont keep kiryu's goofy walk stance and the hoof-like walk sounds i dont wanna play it

#snap chats #no one understands how much i love that from y3 and y4 its genuinely one of my favorite things about the game #oh but i guess i have to give an actual answer now. HMPH. #id scream if they revived kanda calling mine limp wristed. homophobia in 4k #OK BUT TO BE SERIOUS uhhhh i dont know. im a real simple guy i think #my only like. If This Isnt There Im Leaving deal is mine's palette and im so serious #rgg's scaring me with all the black-hair/purple-suit mine stuff as of late and i cant stress how hard ill vomit if thats in the final #HYPOTHETICAL final anyways. yk3 isnt coming out for. IDK A WHILE #i wanna say i hope they highlight daigo and mine's relationship more but i dont know how theyd do that #i really like how mine's handled in y3 as is so i dont think i want scenes injected like what they did with yk1 and nishiki #someone said a Mine Saga after the game and... hm ... sounds too unrealistic for me to hope for it #like im REALLY trying to think how they could possibly reference the rggo stories in y3 since those are EXCELLENT but #i think . MAYBE. you could reference the story where richardson calls mine as he's driving to the hospital #the only thing you'd have to exclude though is mine stopping by the bar- like JUST keep the phone conversation maybe #cause in that scene that subordinate does question mine if he can really kill daigo and i think thatd be neat. in my opinion. #yeah i dont know. in regards to rggo its hard to think of what i want without intervening things i already like about y3 #its a real head scratcher ... #a really good epilogue addition would be adapting that RGGO bit where daigo ruminates on mine. that's a fair ending for him i think #it also fulfills the need to see how daigo saw mine even if its just a little #and to non-rggo readers it could start to answer 'how does daigo feel about everything that happened' #im still so curious as to if daigo was briefed on EVERYTHING that happened but .... anyways.... #sorry all my hopes for y3 are just mine/minedai centric fLVKELKA BUT LIKE. i really am content with everything else with y3 surprisingly #idk. i want kiryu fucking up that curry in high definition tho. thats important to me #THEY HAVE TO KEEP THE QTES DURING THE RICHARDSON FIGHT ILL BE PISSED #i need the fight to be AS CAMPY and unnecessary as it was in the og. INCLUDING richardson's voice acting i need it wack as hell #is it weird i actually appreciate the Diet Building Loredumping being like. in replayable-cutscene form #i thought id prefer just One Long cutscene but im glad theres the option to skip those segments #BUT being able to get a refresher in case you missed something somehow #im running out of tags jesus christ i shouldve put this in the main text but vjALjlagj those are all my thoughts for now bYE

[to-illustrate-the-stars]

(delusional voice) kamisato art: hyouka!!!!!

#genshin impact #hyouka #eru chitanda #kamisato ayaka #something something characters who retrace the same themes of duty and belonging and also I LOVE THEMMMMMM #star's art #ive been like rotating these two in my head for ljke 2 years now and seeing concept art for ayakas skin finally let me draw them......wauuua #i was wondering wtf to do for the bg but then i remembered natsu//yuu vol30 and how much i love the cover for it and this happened <333 #chinju forest and the scenery from ep 22 as the home they r forever bound to [explosion] #the fan doesnt mean anything fancy but both of them having plots where they uncover some hidden truth abt a family member dear to them.... #im connecting thr DOTS!!!!!!!! #the green flowers are from ep1 visuals and the pink r supposed to be camellias for ayaka :> #holds them so gently... my beloveds.................. #if i ever get around to posting scribbles i have like 4billion misc crossover stuff from random favs of mine bc its the only stuff ive drawn #lately #ithink thats everything i had to say rigjt at this moment #goodnight!!!!!!!

[needylittlegirl]

being a little lover girl is awful because why do i remember every single thing about people. you can say something so small teeny tiny offhand and i’ll remember it. but i dont think anybody does the same for me?? i dont think people are ever as devoted to me as i am to them

#sometimes i wish i could stop loving people so hard #im not even talking romantically #i just mean in any sense #theres nothing nothing worse than knowing everything about someone and wanting to be such close friends with them #but they just think of you as like. an acquaintance i guess? #nothing happened its just like period emotions or something #well actually thats a lie talking to someone lately has been killing me cause i know they dont care as much as i do #so its a little internal battle lately of do i cut them off so it doesnt eat me alive or do i keep being their friend cause really #theres no good reason to cut them off its just that i feel too much and dont know how to be normal about it !! #whatever #tbd #yeah whatever its just hormones ill get over it #but for now i have to cry my lil eyes out <3 #im just tired of having More feelings all the time #im such a giver why do i only attract takers!!

[zarovich]

pretty sure things from my past fucked me up so bad that nobody will love me. and even if they do, deep down ill still be afraid they may be lying

#personal #platonic or romantic. im too fucked up for a human to love me. animals do but thats different animals are easier for me to understand #i mean animals dont look at me in digust for being covered in scar tissue cuz cutting myself is the only way i can keep myself alive #or look at me with pity. to them im just a big creature even the wild animals who run away. theyre just scared i understand cuz i am too #i often feel like i am a feral animal. idk how to socialize i isolated myself so bad that everything isay seems wrong and foreign #im losing time lately too. ill realize days have past and i dont remember much of the on between this happens often and its bothers me #idont remember making that post yesterday at all my brain is like perpetually foggy #i feel as if i shouldnt talk about this tbh like even just on my own blog i feel like a burden and everyone wants me dead idk #im veryconfused

[hkpika07]

Don't worry CT!Gordon, my Gordon has no idea how he became a dad either. He was in denial for over 50 years.

@bruhstation I hope you enjoy! I've been wanting to draw Gordon meeting Gordon for a while. I love your art it always hits me directly through my heart and I end up as a pile on the floor.

#ttte #thomas the tank engine #thomas and friends #ttte gordon #ttte humanized #gift art #it is very late my brain is fried so i cant form words. but casa tidmouth really fuckin good #it makes me want to eat drywall (affectionate) #i also see a lot of ct!gordon meeting other edwards and engines. but what if he met himself. hilarity ensues im sure of it. #or the heart wrenching tragedy of seeinf yourself without the trauma #and grabbing him by the shoulders and pleading. no demanding he cherish what he has. to not make the same stupid mistakes you did #but you know yourself. you know he wont listen right away. he wont take your words to heart immediately. He’s too stubborn. too proud. #he doesnt need advice. he can handle himself. he'll just puff out his chest and ignore everything cause thats what hes always done. #and your heart breaks knowing theres no way to prevent fate. even if theres a chance tragedy wont happen #anyways go support bruhstation they have peak gordon content. im gonna go pass out now #painted red

[coffee-bat]

completely unrelated to anything but is being hypersensitive to pain when sleep deprived a thing for anyone else or is that just a me thing

#ive been noticing it lately in like. the sense where you realize something thats always happened to you but you just never picked up on it #but everytime i wake up after sleeping too little im just. hyperaware that everything hurts. things that i dont normally notice #like my fingers (i have dermatillomania and massacre my cuticles on the daily). suddenly im moving my fingers hurts a lot and im aware of- #-every bit of torn skin #which im normally not #etc #just sudden hypersensitivity that happens when sleep deprived and ONLY then #what is that. is that just my autism or isvthat an actual thing💀 #ramble #im sick and i need to rant but i dont think im making sense. sorry

[skyeateyourdonuts]

weeoo

#this is gonna be me talking in tags today #ive been rather sleep deprived lately trying to keep up with everything around me #and its been taking a toll on my health like #if i go too long like this i tend to feel more lethargic and my allergies kick in #i got a sore throat bc my room has been Freezing and then i get headaches way way easier #often times my face will flush but its just my nose and idk why #well anyways lmao i just aint feelin great due to lack of sleep #so i emailed my teachers and stayed home and others might say this wasnt it #but i can barely get to sleep at all these days and just bed ridding myself #seemed like the only way for my body to be like #'fine 🙄 u can sleep' lmao #thats actually one of the worst symptoms is im restless i just Cant grt to sleep no matter how hard i try #ive had a couple days where i was running on 2-3 hours bc i spent even longer Laying there #anyways i hope this makes a difference im tired of feeling tired and shitty #luckily my mood has weirdly been high #its just my sleep and health that are low #i think when the sleepiest soldiers are unable to get sleep thats when u know smths wrong #i think also so much is happening and me trying to keep up is taking more outta me than i expected #im a gal who gets overwhelmed easily even if im happy w whats happening lmao #tho im not Happy im more In a Good Mood lmao #side tangent but i HATE being an adult who doesnt have like idk Help lmao #like my dad was so nice to me sometimes and helped me sometimes #i could go a whole day sleeping bc id be fucking exhausted #and hed qake me up and ask me when i last ate and if i couldnt decide but itd been too long #hed make smth for the both pf us or hed make it For me and id just be able to like recover lmao #ah adulthood is hard lmao #alright im done #gata #no need to read <3 yall

[ra-vio]

I thought doing this meme would help me draw and that visually seeing how my style changed would make me feel good.

#my oc #rune #utau #out of these my favorite is 2013. i dont know the other years #i missed this monday because I haven’t been feeling well at all lately #and i dont know when im gonna feel better #i spent way too much time on this. i redrew 2018 3 times and i hate all 3 of them i hated 2018 #2023 is weird because my art style is always changing #i started using procreate this year. it fucks up all the colors because of color conversion #so everything is often more dull #thats not why 2023 is weird tho i just have a hard time staying consistent #its consistent enough that i know i drew it but inconsistent in that if i drew it again it would look different #i made. collages for all four of these to get a feel for what characteristics to draw #2013 is a complete mess theres like 3 different styles happening and thats not even all of the #2016 is the most consistent. 2018 is. ehhhh. #if you wanted to see 2023 you can just scroll through the last few posts here

[krotiation]

its so funny thinking about how jack could have lived on as an ai (and probably gotten a new body and become the hyperion ceo again) if he wasnt so obsessed with killing rhys on helios

#rhys who wasnt even a threat to jack at the time MIGHT I ADD #like rhys would have just been on his merry way back to pandora with fiona and sasha if jack let him go #but jack is the king of holding grudges so that was a big fat no #thats not even mentioning the fact that rhys didnt get the idea to rip his cybernetics out until jack tried to strangle him after the crash #god its one of the reasons why i love jack as a villain tho #the fact that everything bad that happens to him is because of his own actions #yet he puts the blame on everyone else #like COUGH angel's death COUGH COUGH #and his manipulation as well #claiming that everyone he held dear betrayed him eventually like... my brother in christ it is literally your fault #dude really insinuated he cared about rhys after chasing him over a whole space station trying to kill him #maybe he did a little bit and thats why he got sooo mad when he “betrayed” him or maybe hes just silly like that. who knows #yeah im hyper-analyzing an almost 10 year old game... i got here late #delete later

[r029]

I miss when things actually meant things.. Back in the day, relationships actually meant relationships. Love actually meant love. But now.. it's just what people classify things as things that are Ultimately useless and pointless. Getting to know people, actually meant getting to know people without any ulterior motives or at least not as much as now. Now everything's a game, of how to play people, who can manipulate better.. like what the fuvk? What is the fucking point anymore? Why even bother? It's all a waste of time.

#there is no point anymore. no one cares and no one tries. no one tries to actually be themselves. no on tries in putting in effort. #if someone does the bare minimum its groundbreaking. and thats fucking sad. things were supposed to evolve but it just disintegrated. #im not meant to be in this generation. #everyone is so close minded and brainwashed into thinking stupidity. no one thinks for themselves anymore. #everything is failing. #and i have to exist and watch it happen because its everywhere and you cant get away from it. #i wish i had an endless supply of drugs to ignore it.. but whats the point of that? because at the end of the day nothing changes. #and then once the drugs wear off.. it all hits me twenty times harder.. #and its only way to not want to kill myself.. but theres no reason to be here and endure this shit. #my mother shouldve drowned me harder 😔 #everything is curated to what you want to see. to what you want to believe. its all just fake. #i despise the promiscuous posts ive put out when i feel the complete opposite.. and yet im deluded enough to think why shit doesnt #doesnt work out for me? I think.. im so accustomed to not being believed and never taken seriously and felt as if i did that #its like my way of saying “youre right” but now im doing it and really making it a reality that can no longer be taken back. #whats done is done. whats happened has happened. and now i cant seem to care about much of anything anymore.. #all because the people who were supposed to help.. didn't. the Teachers. the Principals. the Doctors. the Therapists. the Psychiatrists. #the Attorneys. the Judges. “Child Protective Services” and so many more. just didn't fucking care or try. until it was already too late #and the damage had been done. #im so fucking tired..