#sorry if im being dramatic but this symbolizes everything thats wrong and fucked up with this club lately

[miasanmuller]

Josip deserved a better treatment from Bayern. He always gave everything with the little playtime he got, proved more than once that he’s a reliable defender, never complained about sitting on the bench most of the time - in fact, more than once clearly stated he had no problem with competition and fighting for his position. He’s a Bayern Academy product. 

Selling him to keep Pavard, a player who clearly wants to leave, is the least Mia San Mia thing I can possibly imagine and I want Tuchel and everyone responsible for this horrendous team management to rot in the depths of hell

#sorry if im being dramatic but this symbolizes everything thats wrong and fucked up with this club lately #and i know im biting my tongue bc i never liked him... but if nagelsmann was still here this would not happen #anyway im pissed #josip stanisic #bayern #fc bayern

[tidalcreek]

tumblr user @tashimione i would love to.

IN MY ARWEN UNIVERSE aragorn and arwen are lesbians and arwen is much more involved with aragorn’s plot because they are a dream team. tolkien knew arwen was an underdeveloped character so he literally cant blame me for this! for simplicity im going on what i would change about the movies so im also bound by that format and i am actively trying not to think about how long this post is gonna be. BUT what that au would look like is:

we still meet arwen for the first time in the 'ranger caught off (her) guard' scene, and arwen still takes frodo to rivendell because i think that's cool of her. this sets up a very collaborative and equal relationship between aragorn and arwen that will continue throughout the movies (i saw a post recently about how the scene where they discuss getting frodo to rivendell changes everything you thought you knew about aragorn from the beginning of fotr, and shows you she's Not actually a mysterious loner and she does rely on arwen as much as arwen does on her. which is a VERY sexy take)

arwen is at the council of elrond-- she doesn't join the fellowship but she's involved! she has a stake in this. also i think that she and legolas should have a silly little friendship

elrond gives anduril to aragorn in rivendell. i love the rotk scene as much as the next person but im changing this bc a) ive never liked that it makes aragorn's worthiness hinge on whether or not she has anduril, instead of her being given it at the beginning of the journey and having to grow into the kingship as she carries the symbol of it at her side. and b) the movie scene messes things up for this au so to rivendell it goes

we still have the scene where arwen gives aragorn the evenstar but with different dialogue-- we're gonna b spending more screentime on this dynamic so we are NOT going to knock out all their backstory with one scene. in fact we are not even going to let them talk about arwen choosing a mortal life-- elrond can allude to that in a side conversation with arwen before aragorn leaves rivendell, but it's not a choice that she's actually made yet

moving on from rivendell through the end of fotr, we have a flashback or two w material from the tale of aragorn and arwen so we know whats going on there (love story of all time). this is where we get actual setup of arwen's Choice that's going to drive her plot, and also more emotional setup of aragorn's kingship and her reluctance about it (we fit 'all that is gold does not glitter' in here perhaps?)

in the first half of two towers we have a couple more flashbacks or scenes to set up arwen's plotline in tt/rotk. we move the arwen/elrond tension from rotk to tt, but stop short of arwen Making Her Choice; instead she and elrond fight and she takes the army to helm's deep without his permission (knowing that she's only postponing her decision)

like i just think it would be neat if arwen came to helm's deep like pj was going to have her do. she can fight! if they were gonna add elves to that anyway she could at least have caught a ride from rivendell with them. she shows up leading the army and we have an aragorn arwen reunion and she makes friends with eowyn and she kicks some ass. she has a thranduil botfa moment of seeing all the death around her and contemplating Mortality, which sets up her rotk arc

rotk: in place of elrond bringing anduril to aragorn, we have an aragorn arwen scene where arwen decides she has to go back to rivendell and take the ship to valinor. it is heartwrenchingly sad and we all cry but we don't blame arwen for fearing death and we love aragorn for letting her go. aragorn takes the dimholt road and arwen sets off back to rivendell

now we have parallel scenes-- aragorn in the paths of the dead and arwen riding alone across the westfold. this is where arwen has her vision of old aragorn with their son (they can have lesbian biological kids fuck you). it's all extremely dramatic and a big moment on 2 fronts: aragorn claiming her title and kingship for the first time to summon the dead, and arwen realizing she's making the wrong choice and turning back around. both of them making choices that they can't unmake!

on the way back to the rohirrim arwen runs into ghan buri ghan (hi king) and secures the army's passage through the druadan forest (and to justify taking up screentime with this, the druedain probably join the rohirrim and go to gondor even though that's not really the point of them)

anyway arwen rides to gondor with the rohirrim and fights on the pelennor fields; aragorn gets there with the army of the dead; they reunite on the battlefield after the fighting ends and it is the most justified high romantic drama youve ever seen. this is where we finally get i would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone. and we parallel this with merry and pippin's reunion bc gay rights

i havent seen the extended editions in a while so i dont remember exactly what happens between pelennor and the march to the black gate. i think it's mostly houses of healing + aragorn looking in the palantir? anyway arwen is there

arwen rides to the black gate with everyone else and flies her own standard of evenstar thank you very much :) i think it would also be fun if she fired a warning arrow at the mouth of sauron instead of aragorn killing him (since thats like. a war crime?). in my mind arwen is the fiery one in the arawen dynamic and she's more likely to react impulsively to the mouth taunting them with the mithril shirt

anyway arwen charges the black gate with the others and the rest of the movie wraps up as it normally does except for arwen appearing at the coronation (instead she just finally gets to see elrond again which is great). and you get to be happy for aragorn and arwen with some EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT behind it because youve had THREE MOVIES of their backstory and intertwining arcs instead of the bare minimum scenes! this is so much and im deeply sorry i have lesbian arawen disorder!!

#THIS IS TOO MANY DETAILS! #there’s also versions of this where reforging anduril happens at a different time and arwen is more involved in that #this one is just my personal taste #lotr

[cattles-bians]

exes au part 15

post directory

em: viola teas i am like. incapable of sleeping in

em: i woke up 10:30 on the dot and i thought. what the fuck

em: 10:30 is especially offensive bc it means the mcdonald’s breakfast is done

obsetress: brain immediately said viola up and about doing all the chores vacuuming with no sympathy for her constantly sleeping in snoring girlfriend dani clayton

obsetress: but nah i'm sorry for you that sucks

em: inspiring deranged viola behaviour is

em: the greatest gift of all

obsetress: god so true when u think about it

obsetress: not that viola vacuums, she def has cleaners but

obsetress: actually no

obsetress: she has cleaners but she's prob not satisfied and gets out her expensive vacuum she has no idea how to use and is clattering n making such a fuss

obsetress: and poor dani

em: she’s up and about rearranging things, she’s causing a ruckus,

obsetress: dani's like "you have just as bad insomnia as me and you're just... getting up? that early?"

obsetress: viola shrugs "i don't need that much sleep"

obsetress: "you do, though"

obsetress: she shrugs and disappears into the kitchen

obsetress: insomniac gf and insomniac gf

em: insomnia gfs

em: viola runs on like

em: supernatural element carrying over: viola is a little too good at running on no sleep and no one knows if she ages

obsetress: YEAH

em: i love a sorta, grounded real life show w like one or two unexplained ambiguously supernatural things that no one blinks at

obsetress: i was gonna be like

obsetress: i wonder what dani and viola do when theyre up not sleeping at night and then i was like

obsetress: Well,

obsetress: no they do that but they also do the most random borderline unhinged shit like

obsetress: dani tries new baking recipes and they sit on the countertop in their pjs or underwear or nothing and eat scones at three am

em: go for night drives

em: night drives aren’t even unhinged but they’re nice

em: but they don’t listen to music they listen to fucken podcasts

obsetress: that fuckin lorde song

[em note: it's supercut]

obsetress: they go to the roof and dani lays her head in viola's lap and stares at the stars while viola reads to her in french

obsetress: ugh i put it on oh god why did i put it on

[em note: it's still supercut]

obsetress: in my head.........

obsetress: i do everything right............

obsetress: when you call............

obsetress: i'll forgive and not fight.............

obsetress: ours are the moments.........i play in the dark OH MY GOD VI'S INSOMNIA AFTER DANI LEAVES AND SHES ALONE

em: ur a MONSTER

obsetress: i need to lay on the floor and put this song on repeat

obsetress: anyway um

obsetress: another thought from when i was thinking about the vacuum like

obsetress: viola has a degree of learned helplessness that all rich people have but she's not an idiot like the rest of them yknow and i think like

obsetress: she had to do a lot when she and perdita were kids!

obsetress: after her mom died

em: hannah......

obsetress: and then after her dad died before she married arthur and like

obsetress: then being a single mom (viola lloyd single mom i'm drooling) even w all the help she can afford

obsetress: she has a chip on her shoulder and Does Things For Herself but also just

obsetress: sometimes it happens! there's never enough time and never enough help!

obsetress: and she loves isabel so much like

obsetress: viola making isabel her lunches

obsetress: oh god

em: making her little lunches at like 2am bc it’s been a busy day and she’s tired and she’s sore and she’s sad but the one thing viola will never skip is like

em: making sure isabel gets her lunches

em: hey what is wrong with us

obsetress: GOD YEAH

obsetress: EXACTLY

obsetress: HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS THINKING ABOUT HER MAKING THEM AT TWO AM UGH

obsetress: anyway um yeah viola making isabel her lunches at two am

obsetress: i know that i wrote jamie leaving flora notes on her napkins but like

[em note: read 'and she taught me a lesson alright']

obsetress: i just think it's something a mom who really loves her kid and wants them to feel safe and okay would do so i want to say vi does it for isabel too!!! and what of it they're different universes it's fine

em: ur just building the hannah obsetress cinematic universe

em: building up some Themes and Motifs

obsetress: themes motifs and symbols

obsetress: anyway viola packing isabels lunches she writes little notes and puts on lipstick n kisses them

obsetress: so isabel can get a kiss from her mom

em: im going to kill u w my bare hands

obsetress: cut to vi in the bathroom wiping it off later à la jennifer check

em: im GONNA

obsetress: sometimes when vi has to go out of town for business or w/e she leaves a stack of napkins with arthur to put in isabel's lunch so she can still get a kiss from her mom even when she's gone

em: thats so extra??

em: its so viola

obsetress: exactly

obsetress: she definitely has a fear of isabel favoring arthur over her (abandonment issues etc etc)

obsetress: gestures at canon

—-

em: dani 'its casual' taylor

obsetress: leave the typo

obsetress: dont you dare change it

em: i need u to know that i DO fuck but

em: hgfngjkyhGJBJKFHD FUCK

em: ruined my own joke

obsetress: in the most spectacular way

em: dani 'i need you to know i DO fuck but im accepting offers' clayton

obsetress: she takes care to drop that like

obsetress: it's just casual SHE'S not anything serious. i'm not dating HER or anything

obsetress: jamie's like dani i know you're gay you literally stare at my lips every time i talk

em: dani getting off the phone and dramatically rolling her eyes like 'ex girlfriends, am i right? whats up with these women i-' and jamies like love i get it

obsetress: jamie raising her eyebrows "how many ex girlfriends do you have"

obsetress: dani's like "well, just the one, but"

em: but i COULD have more. if i wanted to. bc i am looking to date more women

em: jamies like ok cool

obsetress: jamie, a little too casually: oh? any, uh. prospects?

em: danis like (patented nervous dani lip bite) maybe but

em: jamies like drat

em: jamies like darn

em: and then she gets home and shes like

em: wait

obsetress: jamie calling dani back "when you said maybe"

obsetress: and dani immediately is like yEAH?

em: jamies like do you think you could ever be interested in me and danis like umm. yeah.

em: jamie hangs up like ok cool

em: long beat

obsetress: oh my GOD

em: REDIALS

---

obsetress: ok last thing i was gonna say

obsetress: i meant to say this earlier and got distracted a hundred times over

obsetress: but um imagine dani helping isabel with her english homework

obsetress: vi helping isabel with her math homework

em: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

em: SOFT

obsetress: well,

em: oh no

obsetress: isabel needing help w her english homework post dani and vi's trying to help and vi's smart n all but

em: get HELP

---

em: dani 'hooking up w my ex is actually a v girlboss of me' is SO funny to me

em: when they get together danis like, oh but havent we all- and jamies like nooo i have very good boundaries

em: except for the perdi vi psychosexual power play ig

obsetress: moment of weakness

obsetress: who wouldn't want to hook up w their hot boss

—

obsetress: when dani goes up to london whatever weekend like friday night to get her closure dinner with vi

obsetress: boom haircut and therapy reveal

em: 3 day bender u say

obsetress: all of a sudden it's sunday night and

obsetress: YEAH

obsetress: they spend

obsetress: all fucking weekend

obsetress: in vi's bed

em: sighs dreamily

obsetress: dani playing with her hair

obsetress: "this is nice"

obsetress: "i'm gonna miss your bun though"

obsetress: vi's brain is short circuiting at "i'm gonna miss"

em: later danis like look. jamie. what would you have done? and jamie chokes on her beer and splutters 'not fuck my ex for 3 days straight?!'

obsetress: dani "well you've never fucked v–– oh wait"

obsetress: "you really can't blame me, jamie, you KNOW" jamie: (grumbles)its different... dani: well i mean i guess, technically, you didnt,

obsetress: unrelated in some bad fight at the end vi is like "you can't go isabel needs a–– you're like her–––" and dani's like "a what? say it" and viola's too stubborn and proud and hurt to say it

em: just perpetually bouncing back to the worlds angstiest break up

obsetress: i don't know WHY

obsetress: as someone who HATES ANGST

obsetress: i am so DRAWN to these two

em: its ummmm weirdly cathartic??

em: the whole exes au is based on a joke about them being friends and exes. we are v firm in like. viola and dani reconcile!

em: idk i love a catharsis moment! i love it when a character claws their way to happiness. or even begrudgingly goes to therapy

em: viola can go through a little hell as a treat

obsetress: turns out the only one who could fix her in the end

obsetress: was the one who said it's not my job to fix you

em: dani transformative power of (platonic) love

obsetress: "Platonic"

#the dani jamie viola rebecca exes au