if they made a homestuck movie:
VOICEOVER: it's coming...
*two drum beats*
JOHN EGBERT: *puts the disk for sburb into his computer* i'm in
VOICEOVER: this summer
*two drum beats*
ROSE LALONDE: *rolls eyes* john, stop goofing around
VOICEOVER: prepare to be stuck...
*two drum beats*
JADE HARLEY: *wakes up and looks around*
VOICEOVER: at home
*two drum beats*
DAVE STRIDER: *spins record* woah, this is off the wall, yo
*shitty orchestral cover of sburban jungle plays*
ROXY: but you don't understand! this game is dangerous!
*cut to dave leaving his clone behind at his quest bed*
DAVE: i can't do it... i just can't kill another me...
*bec noir appears next to alt dave*
ALT DAVE: he's right behind me isn't he
*fades to black as bec noir slashes a sword at alt dave's neck*
*text on screen reads "ASCEND"*
*cut to rose in her shed*
JOHN: rose, the meteor's gonna hit!!
ROSE: *grabs computer* *rolls eyes*
*text on screen reads "DESCEND"*
*cut to scenes of the war on the chess field*
*text on screen reads "RISE UP"*
*cut to john, running out of his kitchen*
JOHN: these imps are everywhere!!
*text on screen reads "ABSCOND"*
ROSE: it's all over...
*cut to the various sprites being sprited*
*cut to jake kissing dirk's head*
DIRK STRIDER: *standing nearby* *coughs* awkward...
*cut to terezi and john after game over*
TEREZI: john, 1t's 4ll up to you now...
JOHN: *gasps*
*cut to john and dave hugging*
NEPETA: *grins* :33< i ship ittttt
KARKAT: *facepalm*
*cut to terezi and vriska facing off*
TEREZI: vr1ska, you c4n't do th1s!
VRISKA: watch me!
*montage of vriska doing a bunch of random and cool stuff*
VRISKA: i can do anything!!!!!!!!
*cut to grimdark rose and dave*
ROSE: to win... we're gonna have to blow up the sun
DAVE: awww snap
*text on screen reads "NIC CAGE"*
JOHN: and i mean, of COURSE con air is the best movie ever!! what other movie would you even suggest
*text on screen reads "LIL NAS X"*
DAVE: man, this isn't even the best song in obama's whole rap career
*text on screen reads "AMANDLA STENBERG"*
ROSE: *rolls eyes* whatever, mom! i'm summoning cuthulu!
*text on screen reads "ZENDAYA"*
JADE: *petting bec* oh, who's the best dog! is it you?
*a bunch more celebrity names on screen*
*text on screen reads "BASED ON THE WEBCOMIC BY ANDREW HUSSIE"*
ANDREW HUSSIE: *sitting in chair* wait, am i still in this movie? do i still die?
VOICEOVER: yes
HUSSIE: oh poop
*text on screen reads "HOMESTUCK: THE MOVIE"*
JOHN: we're gonna save the world... or die trying
*quick montage of every single death scene*
DAVE: i think we're gonna die trying
JOHN: daaaaveeee
*text on screen reads "COMING THIS SUMMER"*
*cut to dave beatboxing*
KARKAT: CAN YOU SHUT UP?!
DAVE: are you gonna make me?
NEPETA: :33< ooooh—
DAVE and KARKAT in unison: DON'T SAY IT
NEPETA: :33< ship it
*they both sigh*
*cut to black*
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Linked Universe Character Guide
I made this LU character guide for my friends and I thought it might be useful for any new LU fans out there! And also for anyone else who wants to info dump to friends about LU. So here you go :D
These characters are of course based on @linkeduniverse by Jojo! But, disclaimer, this does include some non-canon stuff (primarily the fandom nicknames and some War of Ages things) that’s common in fanfiction :). I made this for fun and for my friends so it includes my favorite tropes, canon and fanon.
Edit 4/4/23: Alt text and image descriptions added. Alt text only describes the official character art image (descriptions of all the images were too long for alt text and they were being cut off by my screen). Image text and other image descriptions are at the bottom of the post.
(key at the bottom)
Key:
Image text:
Hero of Time – Time – Old Man, Ancestor (by Twilight), Sprite (by Warriors) | Zelda: Lullaby
Games: Ocarina of Time, Majora’s Mask
Character Traits:
Oldest of the Links
Mental age unknown, physical age is probably 30s
Leader of the group, also group Dad
Very decisive and stoic when he’s being leader
Youthful sense of humor
Views the Master Sword as a curse/burden
Twilight’s mentor – Animated skeleton in the Twilight Princess game called Hero’s Shade
Loves his wife Malon so so so much
Important Game Facts and Items:
Majora’s Mask was a 3-day time loop basically, Time was the one to control the movement of time though
He has masks that give the wearer powers
His facial markings come from the Fierce Diety Mask, which gives him god-like fighting power, but he can’t always tell friend from foe
Had a fairy companion named Navi in Ocarina of Time
Image descriptions:
Image 1: Time is holding up Wild's version of Majora's Mask even with his face. His injured eye is open slightly and is completely white, and his facial markings are in focus. His text box says "Besides, with a legend like that, I'd be more afraid of what destroyed the demon."
Image 2: Time has his arm around Malon and is smiling happily. Malon is a middle aged white woman with long red hair. She is wearing a farming dress. She is smiling back at Time.
Image 3: Text above the image says "Post-Games, Pre-LU Time." It is a black and white sketch of Time when he was a young man. His hair is long and braided over his shoulder with fringe coming down around his face. He is wearing a simple undershirt.
Image 4: Time is smirking mischievously. He is seen shoulder-up.
Image 5: Time is smiling talking to Wind. Wind is putting his sword back in his sheath. Time's text box says "In every battle, you have a little more of the look of a hero." Wind is smiling sheepishly and his text box says "…"
Image 6: Time is scowling. He is holding his sword with both hands out to the side as if he was just attacking. There is smoke and debris in the background. End descriptions.
Hero of Twilight – Twilight – Twi, Pup (by Time), Rancher, Ordonian, Wolfie | Zelda: Dusk
Game: Twilight Princess
Character Traits:
Started his journey as an older teen/adult, now early 20s
Good sword skill & marksmanship, best on horseback, animal whisperer
Physically strongest Link
Grew up in a small town, Ordon Village, on a ranch
Brother bickering relationship with Warriors
Big Brother of the group
One of the most emotionally mature Links
He often comforts the others as Wolfie
Wild’s mentor (because Wolf Link can show up in Breath of the Wild)
Mentored by Time (Hero’s Shade) and Time’s blood descendant
Important Game Facts and Items:
One of the only ones to start his journey as an older teen/adult
Was cursed with Shadow Magic and can now turn into a wolf at will using the artifact he wears as a necklace (Shadow Crystal)
His horse Epona sometimes accompanies the group
Had a companion named Midna that he loved but can never see again
Image descriptions:
Image 1: Twilight is scowling and has his arms crossed.
Image 2: Twilight is in his wolf form. The wolf is large and primarily black, with grey fur on his chest, paws, and face. He has the same forehead markings as Hylian Twilight, but they are grey instead of black. Wolfie has his eyes closed but his head up and is laying on the ground. Wild is asleep on his back with one arm draped across him.
Image 3: Twilight as Wolfie at the end of his transformation. There are black cubes surrounding him, signaling the transformation. Wolfie has a metal shackle on his left front leg. His hackles raised and he is growling.
Image 4: Twilight has his shield at the ready. His brows are furrowed in concentration. Light is shining from the upper left corner and it makes his hair look more blonde than usual.
Image 5: Image from Wild's Sheikah Slate. Twilight is wearing his undertunic and none of his other usual clothes. He is smiling at the camera. In the background there is a lake with light shimmering on the water.
Image 6: Twilight is grinning widely. He is holding a staff diagonally in front of him. End descriptions.
Hero of Warriors – Warriors – Wars, Captain, Pretty Boy (by Legend) | Zelda: Artemis/Athena
Game: Hyrule Warriors
Character Traits:
War of Ages started when he was an older teen/adult, now mid 20s
Military man, but the good kind, Captain in the Hyrulean Army
Weird relationship with Time- Time is team dad, but during the War of Ages Warriors was his big brother figure
Wind’s mentor
Looks are important to him
Prefers to be in groups, good at communication
Best at strategizing and battle plans and such
Doesn’t trust easily because a lot of his soldiers betrayed him
Emotionally mature
Loves to bicker with Legend
Most likely to have actual field medic training
Important Game Facts and Items
War of Ages
Time and Wind were technically present
Image descriptions:
Image 1: Warriors is showing off the burn scar on his left arm. It covers his hand and forearm. He is sitting next to Wind and Warriors' scarf is over both their shoulders. Wind is holding a mug. He is leaning forward and looking at Warriors' scar in shock.
Image 2: Warriors during battle. The art shows lines from the swing of his sword, but the sword is not in the frame. He is mid-swing. His scarf is billowed out behind him.
Image 3: Warriors is smirking and shrugging. There is a text box, but it is cut off and unreadable.
Image 4: Warriors is speaking, but the text box is cut off and unreadable. The image is zoomed in on his upper body.
Image 5: Warriors during battle. He is crouched down and his shoulders are pointing towards the viewer but he is looking to the side. His sword and shield are both up. His sword is pointing in the same direction as he is looking.
Image 6: Warriors is holding out a cloth covered in black blood. He has a cut above his left eyebrow that is bleeding. There is a text box but it is cut off and the only visible word is "creature." End descriptions.
\Hero of the Four Sword – Four – Smithy, Little One (by Time) | Zelda: Dot
Games: Four Swords, Four Swords Adventures, Minish Cap
Character Traits:
Smallest but not the youngest, probably mid teen age now
Only one in the group with a functioning braincell
Very skilled blacksmith
Confident, quiet, calm
Often strategizes with Time and Warriors
Important Game Facts and Items
Friends with Minish, which are a race of small mouse-y creatures that can only be seen by children
Wields the Four Sword, which can split him into four versions of himself: Red, Green, Blue, Vio
Each color displays an aspect of Four’s personality
Keeps this a secret and in LU canon just recently revealed it to Wild. Time also knows
Never wielded the Master Sword, doesn’t have the Triforce of Courage
Image descriptions:
Image 1: Four is split into his four colors: Vio, Red, Green, and Blue. They are standing in a semi-circle and looking at something outside the image. Vio looks contemplative, Red looks upset, Green looks surprised, and Blue looks angry.
Image 2: Four is blacksmithing. He is sitting in front of the forge. He is holding a hammer in his left hand and tongs in his right hand. Both hands have thick leather gloves. In the tongs, he is holding up a horseshoe to inspect.
Image 3: Four is standing next to time with his arms crossed and brows furrowed. Wild's legs are in the frame, and he is on the ground in front of them recovering from an injury. Four's text box says "You think this is gonna (read: going to) be a pattern?"
Image 4: Four during battle. He is leaping backwards out of the way of an axe. He is holding his sword in his left hand and his shield in his right hand. His eyebrows are furrowed. His hair is flying forward as he jumps backward.
Image 5: Four is laughing as he stands next to the Master Sword. Sky is holding the Master Sword with the tip on the ground. The Master Sword is only a few inches shorter than Four. Wind's hand is above Four's head measuring the height difference. End descriptions.
Hero of the Winds – Wind – Sailor | Zelda: Tetra
Game: Wind Waker, Phantom Hourglass, Spirit Tracks (?)
Character Traits:
Youngest Link, started his journey at 12, now almost 14
Very fun personality and very expressive
Good at stealth and navigation
Is a pirate
Has a little sister named Aryll
The others look out for him since he’s the youngest, but he wants to be able to prove himself as a capable hero
Likes joking and pulling pranks
Important Game Facts and Items
He can control the wind with his Wind Waker, though this has never been used in LU canon
Started his journey because his sister was kidnapped
Was not originally gifted with the Hero’s Spirit of Courage, he assembled the Triforce during his journey
Killed Ganon at age 12 by stabbing him in the face
Image descriptions:
Image 1: Wind during battle. He is holding a huge two-handed sword and it mid-swing. His eyebrows are furrowed and his mouth is open like he's yelling.
Image 2: Wind is grinning widely and watching a fairy fly. He is holding a bottle in one hand and pulling the cork out of the bottle with his other hand.
Image 3: A full body image of Wind. He is standing like the standing man emoji meme. He is scowling and his frown is squiggly.
Image 4: Wind is gasping in surprise. His eyes are very wide.
Image 5: Ain image of Wind from the side. He is leaning back sightly. He is holding a shield. He looks very much like a child in the image.
Image 6: Wind is grinning widely. He is leaning toward the viewer and his eyes are focused on something off screen. He has one hand curled against his chest. End descriptions.
Hero of the Wild – Wild – Cub (by Twilight and Time), Cook, Champion | Zelda: Flora
Games: Breath of the Wild, Tears of the Kingdom
Character Traits:
117 (17 physically)
Survivalist, best archer, crazy good stamina
Only Link that is actually good at cooking
Very prone to injury, a bit reckless, breaks his weapons a lot
Has insecurities about being the only Link that ‘failed’ their mission (this is obviously not true)
Lost his memories when he died, still getting them back
Used to be a knight pre-Calamity Ganon
Mentored by Twilight
He and Hyrule often run off and get lost together
Important Game Facts and Items
Has the Shiekah Slate, the inventory works, bombs and stasis are the only runes still functional. Technically in LU canon he has an enchanted bag, but in fanfics his storage is usually the slate
Scars are from when he died during the Calamity. Shrine of Resurrection fully healed his body internally
Wolf Link (older version of Twilight) helped him on parts of his journey
Image desriptions:
Image 1: Wild is holding his bag tightly with one hand and a soup ladle in the other hand. There are lines on the art implying he was just swinging the ladle. He is scowling. The phrase "grrr" is above his head.
Image 2: Wild is frowning and is very anger. The lines on the image imply he just stood up very quickly. The scars on his face, ear, and neck are purposefully in focus.
Image 3: Wild during battle. He is leaping through the air and his hair is flying behind him. He is holding a sword in one hand and the Sheikah Slate out in front of him with his other hand.
Image 4: Wild is shrugging, grinning, and his eyes are very wide. His expression is very comical. His text box says "SO?"
Image 5: Wild is sitting in a chair in front of a Time and Malon's dining table. He has one hand gently braced on the table. He is smiling sheepishly at something off-screen.
Image 6: Wild is holding his bow with one hand. With the other hand he has three arrows at once nocked on the bow's string.
Image 7: Wild is shrugging and grinning widely at something off screen. There is a text box but it is cut off and unreadable. End descriptions.
The Hero of Legend – Legend – Veteran, Vet | Zelda: Fable
Games: A Link to the Past, Link’s Awakening, Oracle of Seasons, Oracle of Ages, A Link Between Worlds, Tri Force Heroes
Character Traits:
Older teen age
Most experienced Link, but chooses not to be a leader
Closest to Hyrule and Warriors, bickering relationship with Warriors
Very magically inclined
Mature for his age, very reliable
Very snarky, tries to act emotionally unaffected by his adventures
Truly loves adventuring and travelling
But likes to do things the right way and know where he’s going
Important Game Facts and Items:
One of his adventures may not have been real (Koholint), and he has a lot of issues surrounding that and the woman he fell in love with during it
Has so many items, has a tool for everything (bit of a hoarder)
Can turn into a pink rabbit sometimes
Ravio is his counterpart from Lorule, they live together
Image descriptions:
Image 1: Legend in his bunny form. It is a very cute pink rabbit and he is still wearing his red sleeveless tunic in bunny form.
Image 2: Legend is smirking and in the middle of telling a story. He has his hands out in front of them as if he is using them to portray his story. There is a text box and it has a lot of words but they are cut off and unreadable. His hair is primarily pink.
Image 3: Legend is smirking and elbowing Wind. Wind is mostly cut off of the frame.
Image 4: Legend is pointing at the viewer and yelling in surprise. His hair is mostly pink, but his roots are growing out blonde. His text box has extra pointed edges to show he is yelling but the words are cut off and unreadable.
Image 5: Legend has a confused look on his face. He is holding his shield but it is resting by his side. His text box is cut out of frame.
Image 6: Legend mid battle. The lines in the art imply he is running toward the viewer. His shield is hooked to his back and he is holding his sword with both hands. His sword has a blue hilt and a red blade.
Image 7: Legend has his chin pointed up and out and looks contemplative. The image has a regal vibe. His text box is cut out of frame. End descriptions.
Hero of Hyrule – Hyrule – Traveler, Rule, Roolie | Zelda: Aurora & Dawn
Game: The Legend of Zelda, Zelda II: Adventures of Link
Character Traits:
Mid-teen age
Soft-spoken, kind, just a humble traveler
Doesn’t think he’s as much of a hero or warrior as the others
Handles himself well in battle despite having no formal training
Never gives up
Very magically inclined, and has healing magic
Looks up to Legend since he is Legend’s successor
Loves exploring with Wild
Grew up in a cave
Important Game Facts and Items
Original two Zelda games
His world is kind of a wasteland
Monsters in his world want to use his blood to resurrect Ganon
Never used the Master Sword
Has the entire Triforce
Image descriptions:
Image 1: Hyrule is looking down on the viewer and his hands are glowing with his healing magic. His eyes are closed in concentration. In the bottom of the frame, there are bandages on Twilight's chest.
Image 2: Hyrule is grinning widely and has one arm locked with Wild's. Wild is cut out of the frame. Hyrule is pointing over his shoulder with his thumb. The text is cut off, but the readable part says "curiosity sure doesn't!"
Image 3: Hyrule is standing in the center of the frame. The lighting and his stance make him look very young. Both his arms are extended out of the frame, and on one side there is a sliver of his shield visible.
Image 4: Hyrule during battle. He is running at something out of frame and yelling. There are scratches and dirt smudges on his face. He is holding his sword with both hands and it is on fire.
Image 5: Hyrule shoulders and head are centered. The lines in the art imply he quickly turned his head. His text box says "?" and he looks confused.
Image 6: Hyrule is grinning mischievously. His shoulders are facing away but his head is turned towards the viewer. He is snapping his fingers, there is a "SNAP" written next to his fingers, and there is lightning coming from his fingers. He is holding his sword with his other hand and his shield is strapped to his back. End descriptions.
The Chosen Hero – Sky | Zelda: Sun
Game: Skyward Sword
Character Traits:
Started his journey in mid-teens, now early 20s
Best swordsman- don’t get on his bad side
Skyloftian Knight
Kind, joyful, bashful, emotionally mature
Loves cuddles, loves comforting the others and making them smile
Very low stamina, needs more resting time, loves sleep
Very very in love with his Zelda
Friends with the soul of the Master Sword (Fi) and view the Master Sword as a blessing
Important Game Facts and Items:
Chronologically the first hero
Grew up on a floating island called Skyloft
He and his Zelda are rebuilding the Surface, and their kingdom will one day become Hyrule
Never actually fought Ganon- fought Demise, who cursed the hero’s spirit to be tied to his own
Image descriptions:
Image 1: Sky during battle. Sky's back is to the viewer and he is looking over his shoulder. His text box says "?!" He is holding his sword with one hand and his shield with the other. His shield has a very ornate metal design. His sailcloth is flowing behind him like a cape. There is black debris in the background.
Image 2: Sky is smiling kindly. His textbox says "Well I think it's neat."
Image 3: Sky during battle. He is holding the Master Sword above his head in the position for the Skyward Strike from his game and the sword is glowing brightly. His brows are furrowed in anger. He is holding his shield in his other hand.
Image 4: Sky is smiling bashfully and blushing. He has his head resting on a hand and is looking towards the Sky. There are hearts surrounding his head.
Image 5: Image from Wild's Sheikah Slate. Sky is asleep against a tree and there are hands in the image stacking sticks on his head.
Image 6: Sky is smiling up at the sun. Sun says are shining down on him. His hair looks especially fluffy. End descriptions.
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