#but actually.... ehhh it doesnt matter

[coldresolve]

I guess that makes sense, the thing about memory and such. I can definitely get behind that. What i guess i was thinking is that if its the threath of torture… its more likely some people would ratherspill the beans than let their captors etc hurt them. Idk after torture because how would i know. That, i have no experience with so i cant speak on it. But idk how thats not realistic when someone gives in after being threatened that they will get tortured? Well i can imagine in scenarios when its about something extremely important. But i guess the part thats hard for me to imagine is what can be so important to want to defend it even when torture is on the table. I would (and im fairly certain most people would) wanna avoid that! But yeah im not an expert. It just doesnt make sense why someone would be so defiant when these literally tell them that if they dont speak they are getting tortured… like if the threat is death its still a better option? I would rather die than get tortured so like yeah… idk. I guess what i said about people giving up info “from” torture was more like the threat of it, cause yeah i dont know what it would sound like to the brain.

But man thats crazy is changes the brain structure physically… i would want to read about that as i want to get into a neuroscience university once i graduate and i love reading about things like this so if you have a recommendation i would love it!

you're still making "well surely it must feel like.../surely you would want to..." arguments, ehhh. if you take torture as a subject seriously at all, reading actual accounts from torture survivors would be leagues more respectful than sitting there guessing how it makes people feel. if you don't know, that's fine, but stop guessing then. im telling you it doesn't work as an interrogation method, and im basing that on like every study and first hand account ive ever read on the matter. it's not my fucking personal gut feeling here. "but surely if a person was threatened with torture they would want-" zip. stop it. curb thyself.

for the brain thing: why torture doesn't work by shane o'mara is kind of the magnum opus of torture's effect on the brain, he's coming at it as a neuroscientist. i haven't read the full thing yet but the chapters ive gone over have been really enlightening. further reading would probably include looking up ptsd and memory/cognition, which there's tons of research on out there

#asks #torture discussions

[mxwhore]

late night update

hi! hope yall had a very merry creature saturday. i bring you this update as i lie cocooned sniffling with a cold

and i was thinking about what was still missing in the zip file and actually were not that far from our halloween aimed release goal! so far we have:

lineart and highlights (straightforward and enjoyable, no way i'm painting stuff)

conective tissue (like drabbles and introductions and teehehe (threatening))

2 or 3 quick pinups i cant get out of my head

honestly more terato sphynx Jon stuff, there is not enough

also on a whim i doodled a fragment of a self interview where my double-in-frac asked me questions about monster cock and i answered very matter of factly and that inspired:

Monster Jon Adventures Q + A! send me your craziest MJA themed questions/scenarios and ill answer the most interesting ones very matter of factly on zine.

Requisites!!

MUST be anonymous so my love and/or contempt for the sender doesnt seep into my decision and the coolness of the question(s) remains untouched

ehhh must be monster related

and finally, have a mirror!

you cant unhave it now

#monster jon adventures #donate support comment verbs verbs verbs #tessart #back to the grind (falls asleep)

[aurirorii]

square up bitch (⬜️🆙🤬)

sypnosis: in which i tell you all about my thoughts on if i could beat each member of seventeen in a fight/argument.

warnings: i have no self-confidence. thank you.

a/n: i like actually think im the funniest person in the world for some reason

s.coups:

absolutely not.

what the fuck?

who even THOUGHT that me fighting that asshole would be a good idea.

yea no

u wont catch me the next day

cus i would be dead

yup :)

jeonghan:

no.

ehhhh

actually

maybe in a physical fight

like 99.5-0.5

i would have to be really lucky

but a verbal?

yea no

i would be sobbing after

he would hurt my feelings so bad

ok i would also say some shit

despite him being my man😮‍💨

yea

i would leave bawling my eyes out

joshua:

i could maybe beat this kid (hes like a decade older than me) in a verbal argument

i can get realllllll nasty if i have too

but physical ?

girl bye

i mean

have u seen that guy ????

yea no.

i would immediately take back everything i said if this bitch tried to square up

goodnight.

junhui:

no

just no

lowk one flick and i would be crying

yea bye

also

if it was verbal

ehhh

idrk

maybe like 98.5-1.5

ive got SOME hope

but probably not

esp with that temper ive been hearing abt?

yea ive got one too but

mmm

i think ill pass on this one

hoshi:

.

have u seen this guys body n workout routine ?

immediate no

my ass would be beat

goodbye

but if it was verbal he would probably scream in my face

id ask if he was done yappin yet

yea thats kinda it

wonwoo:

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME.

NO.

FUCK NO.

DOESNT MATTER IF ITS PHYSICAL OR VERBAL

I WOULD BE SOBBING.

jit could js look at me and i would start crying

girl bye

bffr

woozi:

besides his studio the gym is his bff

so no

i couldnt beat him

no more further questions

dk:

this kid can do a pushup w one arm

and u want me to fight HIM ?

yea no

i would get pushed and i would start crying

also he might scream in my ear

would also ask if hes done yappin yet

and tell him to pick up the plastic bag

HAHAHHAHAHAHAA

mingyu:

OH FUCK NO

BYE UR LYING

I COULD NEVER BEAT THIS BITCH

I WOULDNT EVEN COME CLOSE TO HIM

GOODNIGHT

dont even try me

bitch bye

if it was verbal i could say some mean shit

theres the SLIGHTEST possibility he would get his feelings slightlyyyy hurt

but

lets be real

the8:

verbal?

yea fuck no

physicsl?

eh

hes been goin to the gym

probably not

his height might scare me too

thats abt it

seungkwan:

girl bye

if his ass was saying shit abt me to my face i would be bawling my eyes out

he would fucking hurt my feelings n not gaf

but physical?

maybe

just maybe

he would still beat my ass tho

vernon:

u see

idk if he would get physical w me

yk how vernon is

plus

have u seen this kid at the gym 💀

he showed up in jeans w like a hoodie n a jacket

bro was walkin on the treadmill w a beanie on bye

but verbal ?

mmmm

im not so sure

dino:

he has gotta stop goin to the gym w mingyu

cus i would get my ass beat 💔

also verbal?

yk that one time they were on idol room or smth and bro was goin off on seungkwan?

if that was me i would wanna slap him

but also cry

im kinda hopeless

#seventeen #svt #choi seungcheol #scoups #yoon jeonghan #jeonghan #hong jisoo #joshua hong #wen junhui #moon junhui #kwon soonyoung #hoshi #jeon wonwoo #wonwoo #lee jihoon #woozi #lee seokmin #dk #dokyeom #kim mingyu #mingyu #xu minghao #the8 #myungho #boo seungkwan #seungkwan #chwe vernon #vernon #lee chan #svt dino

[epikulupu]

is it like disrespectful to say u were assigned a certain gender if u were not? genuinely wondering

EHHH I DONT REALLY CARE HOW OTHER PEOPLE DESCRIBE THEMSELF - IF DOING THAT WORKS FOR THEM THEN SURE.

BESIDES, ITS NOT LIKE ANYONE ON THE INTERNET NEEDS TO KNOW YOUR AGAB FOR ANY LEGITIMATE REASON SO LIKE, WHATEVER. UNLESS YOURE IN A DISCUSSION WHEN AGAB (AND LIVED EXPERIENCES AS THAT AGAB) ACTUALLY MATTERS FOR WHATEVER REASON, I DONT THINK THERES ANY REASON IT GENUINELY MATTERS

MAYBE SOMEONE WOULD SAY THEYRE AMAB WHEN THEYRE LEGALLY AFAB BECAUSE THEYRE PLURAL & HAVE AN IDENTITY DIFFERENT TO THE BODY. OR BECAUSE THEYRE ALTERHUMAN AND THEIR ALTH IDENTITY IS DIFFERENT TO THE BODY. OR THEYRE INTERSEX - AGAB IS NOT EASILY CUT AND DRY FOR MANY INTERSEX PEOPLE. OR SOMEONE WHOS MEDICALLY TRANSITIONED FAR ENOUGH THAT THE CONNOTATION OF "AFAB" AS "FEMALE BODY" LITERALLY DOESNT APPLY ANYMORE. OR LIKE A BILLION OTHER REASONS IDK THERES DEFINTELY MORE

ANYWAY I DONT THINK ITS DISRESPECTFUL BECAUSE WHO REALLY GIVES A FUCK HOW YOU IDENTIFY. IF IT MAKES YOU HAPPY THEN DO IT WHO GIVES A FUCK

#⭘ ask #habit; #@ anon

[fecto-forgo]

excuse to infodump because i think you're cool and fun: i recognize the name mordred from the arthurian legends but i dont know/remember a whole lot about him, what's his whole deal? what kind of stuff does he do and is he smart or stupid or both

HIIIII TY FOR SENDING THE PERMIT AND FOR THE COMPLIMENTS ILY/PLATONIC

(incest cannibalism and suicide mention)

but yes mordred my beloved!! his role is basically killing arthur for like.fifty different possible motivations, the base idea is merlin had a prophecy arthur would get killed by a baby born on may 1st, in an earlier point arthur slept with his half sister and she got pregnant with mordred who was born on may 1st, so arthur (often fully willingly) had every baby born on that day put on a boat that sunk (i believe whether that was part of the plan or not is rarely stated), and mordred was the sole survivor, from there i find his character is sorta inconsistent between versions?

some will have him just be evil because prophecy plot, others will have him be raised unaware of the prophecy and find out about it from a priest he impulsively murders right after, and ends up spiralling onto repetitive suicide attempts until he comes into terns with his fate, theres a couple that have his mother just raise him to hate arthur and i believe in some he hates him for trying to drown him? (which is honestly fair) i heard in le morte he straight up hit his head and woke up with a murderous craving, i personally like the priest prophecy take a lot!

personality wise ill be honest sometimes hes just guy who kills arthur.png, and a lot of stuff try to have him be the sad emo misunderstood anti hero which i think is lame.very lame.i like it when hes a bastard bastard(joke is hes illegitimate i didnt know where to include that akausjsjfjra), not inherently evil, just a little bit of a funny asshole, hes also not *super* important? his role is mostly around the end tho, when he stands there i think its very funny

so at one point agravaine (one of mordreds older brothers who btw he has a really good dynamic with, they matter sm to each other and sm to me,,) decides to expose the queens affair with lancelot, and mordred is one of the knights who goes along, and is the sole survivor of lancelot massacring everyone there because he stayed in the hallway, after that everything goes to shit, arthur tries to execute the queen but lancelot comes back and kills everyone in the execution including another two of mordreds brothers, and mordreds last brother (whos actually super relevant in every story but not in this info dump lol) loses it to grief and goes to murder lancelot (and often seems to pressure arthur into starting the war against lancelot and his family) arthur leaves mordred in control and mordred steals the knighting sword and takes over (its sometimes said the people liked him better than arthur because he wasnt sending the kingdom to war constantly)(in some versions he also marries arthurs wife but ehhh i find that to be way too stereotypical evil and doesnt suit him at all)

arthur eventually comes back to fight mordred and they kill each other, and i REALLY like this one version where arthur manages to stab mordred with his lance, but mordred pushes himself deeper into it unexpectedly and manages to get a fatal swing with his sword on arthur

some version have his corpse dragged around the fields till its no longer recognizable and one has him survive but get locked with guinevere (arthurs wife) in a grave of sorts and he ends up eating her corpse but eventually starves to death anyway

on his takeover motivation i personally like to-and this has some headcanons-so i like to write mordred as having psychosis, and the stress of losing his brothers and the whole prophecy thing puts him in a very vunerable position, where i then like to mix this version where the emperor lucius plot happens at end, and he gets manipulated into an episode that the prophecy is an inevitable pure truth and he may as well get revenge on everyone by lucius into going through with the prophecy plot

also he has autism.i have no arguments but Dude Trust Me

finally whether hes smart or stupid is sort of its own discussion? some stories have him be extremely planning which i dont rly like? i dont believe hes straight up stupid but i dont think hes some sort of highly manipulative evil genius, hes just.very spiteful and thats what solely drove him at the end lol

so yes thats it mutuals im sorry this is so long </3

#again tysm for sending!!! #ask

[bye-bye-firefly]

i dont. often like to talk about my own stories and what i think they mean or what will or will not happen. but i want to make one thing clear. and nothing bad has brought this up lol im just talking to talk (<- not abnormal)

i rewatched time loop nihilism because 1) im obsessed with jacob geller and if you didnt know that already just based on my notes and the fact that namless is literally built off of an entire video this man made in combination with actual games and stories i LIKED before jacob geller talked about them well. here it is spelt out completely I LOVE HIM and 2) i wanted to watch some videos with my friends and we watched the golem video which will change you forever and make you just sob like. its everything to me. and i saw that and i was like ehhh lets throw in ANOTHER jacob geller and that was time loop nihilism. and.

im so serious watch the video. WATCH TIME LOOP NIHILISM NOW.

now. onto nameless. the one thing i wanted to make clear in relation to time loop nihilism and the main takeaway from that video is that. i hate the concept of someone going through a time loop and going about their life as if they didnt do the things they did. i dont like that. its why i dont really like twelve minutes (and also because its so contrived which. you find out after watching playthroughs or watching mr geller explain the game) which is WHY. its so important for me that nameless doesnt run into that problem.

ive planned this out from the beginning to end a specific way that i am now Very Much Worrying About. because the end is very quickly approaching. i know how this is going to pan out and its the only way i can envision this going, its been the only way i have been able to envision this going the whole time. every other option (being idealistic and what i would imagine readers would want, which is all im going to say about that) was unrealistic, messy, imperfect. this one ending is perfect. and id say it could be expected. i will probably ask re at some point how she thinks it will end, and then other people i trust.

but the important thing about nameless is that everyone, no matter what they think of themselves, is ALWAYS. ALWAYS just who they are. there is only one of you. its you. its you. its you. what happens when you beat the loop? what happens when you return to daily life? what happens when time unfreezes and you are left to face what you did to get there? and i want to answer those questions, at least for those who make it to the end

nameless was always meant to be a time loop fic and i was ITCHING to make it one i was DYING to reveal the loop. and its for every single reason that makes itself apparent in nameless. its for the examination aspect. to put these people under a microscope. its for the ability to see how little and how much people change. and to show that often changes that seem big are actually quite small.

this was a mostly confusing ramble that only makes perfect sense to me because i am BIZARRE i just start TALKING and i dont STOP and then act like everyone around me should just KNOW what im talking about. but this sums up my thoughts pretty nicely! and thats all im going to say until nameless finally, finally ends

#fae talks #nameless fic

[t-citurnity-moved]

Some Discourse (???)

DISCLAIMER: THESE ARE MY THOUGHTS AND YOU ARE FREE TO DEBATE THEM CIVILLY. I will not tolerate hate or aggression on this post.

The community needs to be better.

That’s the short of it and more importantly, that’s the truth.

I’ve always advocated for community improvement, ever since I joined; anyone whose been around on my blog has probably seen me talking about how the community needs to be more aware of how bad it can be at times.

Especially to smaller blogs.

Especially to LGBT+ blog.

Especially to POC blogs.

The community needs to recognise the awful way some of our peers are treated. There are people who do not get much attention, or hell, any at all; there are people that get hate for simply loving fictional fucking characters, same as anyone else in the community.

These people deactivate because the community can be so nasty sometimes; ignorance, bigotry, or simply because they do not feel as if anyone cares about their content, because they do not get any attention from anyone. And often times, these things go hand and hand. It happens so much more often than people think. They’re simply not “popular.” Popularity is so much more than numbers, as well; it requires being “liked” by a majority of people. You can still get hate when you have a huge following.

I am not a popular blog by any means. My followers are still in double digits unlike most of the community and I do not get much attention at all - in fact, some of the attention I got in the past was more than often hate or general nastiness. I’m not a content provider. I cannot speak for people who are. But I can speak for the group that I am apart of. I’m only trying to offer my point of view on things, my feelings on how things work around here and some thoughts on how the community can improve.

I love self shipping. I love seeing what other people post and say about their ships. But honestly, I can see why some people would choose to leave the community. When faced with hate or lack of interest in their content, or even a mixture of both, it’s not hard to imagine why people would want to leave, why they would want to deactivate their blogs, why they would feel like they’re unwelcome in the community.

I have never felt better than I do than when I decided to take my hiatus. I understand what some of these people are feeling, wanting to log off and never come back; I don’t want to delete my blog, because there’s some genuinely good content I’d like to see again, but I have heavily debated leaving and never coming back before. I understand what some of these people are going through. And it is beyond awful.

The only thing these people are trying to do is have fun and enjoy themselves. Just like you. Just like me. And yet they get greeted by nothing whenever they log on, unlike a fair amount of popular blogs (and there are quite a lot of them, I can assure). Even worse, they get greeted by people trying to force them to leave simply because they’re not “typical,” because they’re not “ideal.” Because they do not fit the “mould” of what people think self shippers are supposed to be.

Much of the community operates like a clique and that’s one of the single most disappointing things. It’s such high school shit. And I understand, some of the community is decently young, but there are also plenty of adults that can call out this behaviour, that can talk about why this kind of behaviour isn’t right. But they either choose not to or simply don’t see that content, because other people choose to ignore it, because people refuse to see the bad in the community.

We, as a community, need to improve.

We need to call out those who are nasty towards others; those who send hate, those who are racist, who are homophobic, who are transphobic, who are predatory. Everyone who are, verifiable, awful people. I want to stress how important it is to make absolutely sure we have receipts of these peoples’ awful behaviour. Anons marking themselves as others do not count. This community is so deep into callout culture that it fails to actually look at the real facts and simply chooses to believe what others say without doing their own research. We must do our own research to weed out through the actual awful people instead of taking things at face value and cancelling people who do not deserve it at all. DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH. If you see someone on a “callout list” or a “block list,” DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH INTO THEM. Learn about them and figure things out on your own.

DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH.

And we have to uplift those in the community who are in the minority. LGBT+ shippers, POC shippers. Shippers whose ships do not fit the “mould” of what people believe ships should. We need to stand up and be there for these people, because they deserve to be here just as much as anyone else. We need to give these people more attention, because they hardly get any at all. And much of the attention they do get, is often hate or people trying to shove them out of the community.

The community needs to be better. That means you. That means me. That means every. Single. Person. Needs to do what they can to make the community better and more open to those who do not fit the mould.

I am so tired.

#this is okay to reblog because i feel it needs to be said #anyone who has issues w/ this post can talk to me in private or send me an ask #like i said i am so tired and this community has caused part of my fatigue #HAHA IMAGINE IF I PUT THIS IN THE COMMUNITY TAGS #but actually.... ehhh it doesnt matter #discourse tw #discourse // #ASK TO TAG... idk if anything needs tag but if you think somrthing does please tell me!! #i am packing my little rucksack and running away gang hope yall have fun on this post #ill be back in like.... several hrs so if you wanna contact me about this!! send me a dm or smth #ill be in discord!!! ill be marked offline but yknow

[seyfertgalaxy]

FLOWEY SAID HE TRIED TO BE GOOD SO MANY TIMES, HE TRIED RECONNECTING WITH HIS FAMILY(toriel namely), AND HE TRIED SO HARD.

HE FELT BAD HE COULDN'T.

HE CRIED.

He said he was bored after helping everyone and being kind all the time, that after a few more resets, probably years worth, he tried something different for once.

He tried different things time and time again because he could always reset it, so it didn't actually matter to him, if nobody remembered.

And he's still a little kid- he's still Asriel- and i know Chara isn't evil, but its Chara's fault that Asriel is Flowey in the first place, but he didn't hate them for it.

In the true pacifist ending, with Frisk, he cried and apologised for everything and gave everyone back their souls and restored it all.

He even felt so bad as to basically keep himself in the underground for the rest of his life, namely to take care of the flowers.

While everyone else was on the surface, his family, he didn't want to see them because he felt bad. He didn't want Frisk to remember him as Flowey either, he wanted them to remember him as Asriel, a friend they had for a short amount of time.

Flowey(Asriel)acted out of fear in the beginning, and trauma. They have so much trauma at such a young age.

And Asriel, as a God, states he wants to kill Frisk over and over again just to keep them with him; because he doesn't want them to leave him. He sees Chara in Frisk, and wants them to stay with him, so he does what he does best.

He confesses everything and says he's afraid, alone, etc.

((i typed this out back in 2021, nearly a year ago, so somethings are obviously probablyyyy kinda incorrect. but the underlying point is that Flowey can be redeemed and he has in some routes, cases, and through his friendship with Papyrus. he shows no ill will toward Papyrus. there is a genuine feeling of mutual friendship there between the two. and in the qna a few years ago, Its directly shown that Flowey still CARES to some degree, especially for Toriel. and I'll emphasize this: Flowey is still a child, a little kid. he's extremely traumatised, scared, and alone. thats exactly what he says too, during his Asriel fight. but yknow, after so many resets, and lack of a soul, its probably harder to care AND/OR comprehend what he's going through for himself. especially since he died so young, he might not understand himself or his feelings. especially if he doesnt care to. theres more i wanna say but ehhh im tired))

#undertale #flowey dreemurr #flowey undertale #flowey #papyrus #papyrus undertale #toriel #toriel dreemurr #frisk #sans #sans undertale #cw #asriel #asriel dreemurr #rambles #ramble #rant #rants

[miraculouscontent]

I just wanna talk about what an absolute MESS that last episode was…

Like first off the whole flag scandal is SOOO infuriating! So no one on the team did ANY research about the origins of that flag? No one at all? But, what am I saying? Of course they didn’t do research! The only time the team has ever cared about culture is when they’re profiting off of it with specials (-_-)

Also the whole sentiadrien thing was kinda confirmed by the team and with this episode, and people are happy with it?! Like I’m the farthest thing from an Adrien fan, but like… they literally just ripped off ANOTHER fan idea (for like the tenth time) and everyone just forgot about that?

The fact that this was the 100th episode and yet NO PROGRESS WAS MADE?!?! Usually something big happens in a milestone episode that develops the characters further or reveals heavy lore. I guess they decided that completely undoing any progress for the episode was good enough! (It’s not like they haven’t milked this idea for all it’s worth! /s)

And lastly the love-square ends the world again. “But it’s a testament to how they’ll love each other no matter what! That’s why every time they get together, the world ends!” Like, maybe constantly repeating the idea that bad things happen when the main couple gets together DOESNT MAKE ME WANT THEM TOGETHER? It just shows me that they’re NOT supposed to be together so much, that the literal universe collapses every time they try.

Also also, Marinette literally had to be convinced that she could fall in love with chat… Like did everyone forget that she went to Luka and he literally had to “convince” (not really convince, but you know what I mean) her to give him a chance, mainly because he knew how much she liked Adrien and probably hoped this would give her happiness. But like…then she only ended up falling for him after she replaced his image with Adrien’s??? Like, sweetie, don’t force yourself to like him! You don’t owe him anything!

The only thing they got kinda well was how amazing Lukanette working together is. Like damn, that boy really has her back through everything! And she trusted him with to save the world after she realized that it was ending!!! Like the writers are doing an AWFUL job trying to convince me to root for LS and not Lukanette. (I mean even as “purely platonical friends” they STILL have more chemistry and trust than the LS does.

Sorry for the rant! This episode just gave me a LOT of feelings. (Unfortunately, most of them were bad XD)

The other thing about the “100th episode” thing is the gimmick of it. Like--we know that the repetitive “100″ is because it’s the 100th episode, but there’s literally no fanfare about it so kids (the target demographic) will just be left confused as to why it keeps happening.

And I simply must repeat that the rabbit should’ve been a dimension-based miraculous, because then we could’ve gotten confirmation that there are other dimensions where the love square doesn’t just break the entire damn world and it’s maybe just that we see the bad ones because those are the ones that need saving/looking after.

All this episode has told me is that either the love square can’t exist with Hawk Moth around (because of its sheer fragility) or that the ship itself is so unstable because of the universe bending over backwards to get them together that the world just freaking breaks when it actually happens.

Bending over backwards so much that other people have to tell Marinette how to feel (whether unintentionally or otherwise) because the ship is constantly on thin ice. Four seasons in and the side of Adrien Marinette has spent the most time with has her be like, “ehhh, idk about this relationship thing, man.”

The true moral of the story: best friends, lovers, or both, Lukanette is king.

#category: salt #episode: Ephemeral #other: ask and answer #salt: love square

[wattemeer]

ok look as an artist myself i absolutely understand the struggle with hating your own art and i dont want to be that person thats like "but i really like your art!!" bc i know that doesnt really help, but to not mention it would be lying by omission so i want to say your art is actually a really big inspo for me as an artist, and always puts a smile on my face to see it. at the end of the day, yours is the only opinion that matters and you should be happy making it, too.

Oh.............. well I'm happy if it inspires people and maybe makes them feel mmmh //something// idk. I also really appreciate it every time i get nice feedback i really do ;-; I don't absolutely hate my art, obviously,,it does make me happy too or else i wouldn't make it like, i know it's not BAD but also.......... mnh idk i guess it's just not completely what i want my art to be yet(?), I'm never like truly satisfied with anything i make, i just think it's kinda boring most of the time tbh but it's also hard to figure out what i want and how to change and it's frustrating sometimes.. 🤔 but ehhh I'll be fine i just need to learn to be nicer to myself tbh ,,, //anyways, thanks for the message!!

[spacedlexi]

Hello! I like your TWDG art and I'm curious if the Final Season was your first exposure to TWDG series? What do you think of the series overall, if you've played them? Any favourite characters outside of S4? I personally stopped playing the games after S2 left me severely disappointed, I think S1 will always be the best of them.

oooo cool questions. and thank you!!

my first exposure to twdg was actually when the demo dropped for the first season!! yea ive secretly been here the Whole Time lmao i didnt play it myself tho i watched my friend play. it was the first time i had been exposed to the telltale choice game kind of format and i didnt really know how to feel about it so i didnt pick it up for myself i just watched others play. it took me a while to catch up and i didnt finish the first season until after s2 ended

the end of season one, like with most people, left me like.....really super heart broken and emotional like man i was Empty inside ahah that ending still and always will get me just Right in the fuckin heart meat. so, feeling as empty as i did and wanting to know where clems story went i jumped Right into season 2 ............ and that left me even More fuckin empty and sad than season 1 lmao fuckin season 2 is probably The most depressing season imo i didnt think i could feel worse than the end of s1 but s2 took it as a challenge

i Hated s2 and was really suffering through it but when kenny showed up i was like OH THANK GOD a familiar face (even tho he really tested my patience in S1) because i capital H Hated the new cast. sarah was fine and luke was Generally ok for the most part but the adults pissed me the Fuck off and still do for how they treated clem (an 11 year old!!) like a whole ass adult and personal therapist. but then kenny got Real scary after the whole sarita thing and jane was pissin me off for not only constantly pushing kenny (a man who was desperately holding onto a very thin thread) but for trying to convince clem that she didnt need anyone and that she’d be better off on her own (AN 11 YEAR OLD!! in the zombie apocalypse!! even tho yea the s2 cast were shit to be around). looking at s2 in hindsight the only good thing about it was AJ..bby boy...

and then about a year or so later the trailer for s3 dropped and i was like YES look at clem fuckin badass fuckin shotgun fuckin take no shit Yes but then i was soooooooooo so disappointed when i found out you were gonna be playing as some fuckin Nobody new character i was like fuck off i just want clem back. season 3 was just....pretty boring in my opinion and the only saving grace was whenever clem was around and the whole “wheres aj” plot that i wish the game focused on instead. out of the s3 cast (minus clem/aj) i only really cared for javi and mari...and well.....we all kno what happens to mari and how fast l o l rip. eps 1-3 (generously) were ok and interesting but the final eps just... ehhh. also jesus was ok but hes also a part of the comics/show whatever so he doesnt rack up points for telltale. javi flirting with him was pretty cool tho. both protags are bisexual you love to see it. bi rights hell yeah

AND THEN....SEASON 4. i immediately fell in love with the entire cast (even when vi was mean to her when they first spoke cuz i was like “yeah yeah i know you dont mean it i saw the way you were lookin at her from the wall i KNOW youre gonna be a romance option”). the whole troubled youth boarding school was such a great choice finally clem was around people her fuckin age no more adults looking to her for guidance or to parent. and she was Top Dog these kids had no real experience and i knew it was only a matter of time before she slipped into the role as their leader. i was NOT expecting it to be because of how ep 1 ends like omfg the end of the 1st ep is just.....Real Good. the ep itself was pretty slow getting you introduced to everyone but my god shit gets Real the moment clem walks into that basement and from then on out the ep is just Wild and ends with a (literal) bang.

E2 started testing my patience with a few characters (lookin at you louis specifically (even tho i still like you) because i will never get over how now AJ was the one being treated like an adult (A 5 YEAR OLD WHO ONLY KNOWS KILL MONSTERS TO SURVIVE and has never been in a group setting that he can remember))(its why my clem could never romance louis sorry dude) but violet was 💕💕 amazing standing up for clem and aj against the whole group and she takes on the role as leader cuz “no one else stepped the fuck up” i love her.... and then lily shows up and the whole drama with the raiders AGH love it

up until this point i was still just watching others play since the seasons were either too depressing or boring for me to want to pick it up for myself

but then telltale shut down. and i was like.....oh my god....clems story is gonna get cut right at the end?? i loved this new cast and i dont get to see how it ends??? im not gonna get to play it for myself!??!?! so when skybound stepped in and saved it i bought it up IMMEDIATELY i was like “that was TOO CLOSE im gonna finish this series for myself Dammit” and i did and it was great i played eps 3 and 4 when they dropped at midnight im so glad i got to experience the ending for myself on my own. i cried ahhaha so fuckin hard and i still do CLEEEEMMMM you did it bitch i love you

season 1 and 4 are really the only ones i like. and for me s4 ranks higher than s1 because of the cast and the found family trope and how its just..not as fuckin desperate and depressing and hopeless. it really just comes down to preference but s4 wins for me with s1 close second. i only ever go through seasons 2 and 3 for the sake of setting up s4 like its just formality aha. plus getting ajs plot established makes it worth it. and knowing how clems story ends makes the depressing parts easier to get through

SO YEAH OOF SORRY for the long answer i talk way too much ahah but i do really love this game. seasons 1 and 4 now reside snugly in a little corner of my heart where they will stay until i die lmao. if you havent i definitely recommend at least going through s4!!

#clem and her story are even more important to me now after how badly i was burned by naughty dog #when i finally got around to replaying twdg after lou2 came out it really hit me like a tonne of bricks #i cried like just as hard as i did when it originally dropped #clem got the ending that ellie threw away #clem im so happy for you ellie im so sorry for you #replies with lexi #long post #duela-quinzel

[heroquills-a]

✮  : ━  ROMANCE HEADCANONS ! ❫

tagged by: nvm @babylonbrains tagged me and i didn’t see bc tumblr is a BITCH ASS MOTHER F tagging: if you haven’t been tagged yet, i tag you if you wanna do it

NAME: Sonic 

NICKNAME: Sonny, Blue / Big Blue, Blue Blur, Faker, and an assortment of insulting nicknames from various enemies

GENDER: Cis Male

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Demi-panromantic demi-pansexual

PREFERRED PET NAMES: i dunno if he really prefers any of the ones he has ? unless it’s from someone special to him then he’ll probably lean more into favoring it so uhh i guess faker...

FAVOURITE CANON SHIP(S): i don’t believe there are any canon ships for sonic ? besides... sonamy maybe, since it’s kinda implied here and there, and i do like the ship but i’m not a huge fan of how canon typically portrays them anyway so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

FAVOURITE NON-CANON SHIP(S): i think most sonic ships can be enjoyable if written well but...if it wasn’t glaringly obvious already i’m very biased towards sonadow

OPINION ON TRUE LOVE: it probably exists ? sonic’s been all over the world and has seen plenty of examples of true love. he just never experienced it himself but he’s fine with that but ofc in recent times he’s fallen quite hard in love and he can say its a messy, difficult experience but the pay off is turning out to be quite lovely after all

OPINION ON LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: pffft, yeah right. crushes and attraction at first sight, sure. but love at first sight ? to put it in the words of garnet steven universe, ‘love takes time, and love takes work. you have to at least know the other person. and you literally have no idea who or what i am.’

HOW ‘ROMANTIC’ ARE THEY?: sonic... doesn’t usually have the intention to be romantic, he’s just got a natural charm to him and enjoys flirting only because... he just thinks it’s fun. but i don’t think he actually realizes or intends to come off as romantic when he does so lmao. he just likes being a charmer bc it’s exciting and he likes exciting things. although it’s a completely different story when he’s actually in a relationship with someone. i say sappyness isn’t his style but it turns out sonic’s the biggest sap out there when it comes to who he’s in love with. ‘cause when he’s in love, that person tends to occupy his thoughts a lot and he’ll end up showering them in non-verbal affection via doing nice things for them, being physically affectionate if they’re comfortable with each other, and inviting them to ‘go out’ (aka go out on some crazy adventure that’ll likely result in death defying stunts) he’s not very good at expressing his feelings verbally, and when he does it usually ends up coming out really sappy and cheesy (which he’ll embarrass himself over)

IDEAL PHYSICAL TRAITS: i don’t think he has a preference really? because what really wins sonic over is personality and that’s what matters. but uhhhh,, anyone who can keep up with him or beat him in a fight/put up a good fight he’s sure to find attractive... 

IDEAL PERSONALITY TRAITS: patience definitely, sonic’s very spontaneous and has little patience himself for most things, so anyone who’s willing to put up with that along with the many adversities he has towards relationships & everything that comes with is a plus. having a good heart w good morals is good too. he also likes banter and playfulness and just having a general sense of ‘this is someone i can have fun with’. 

UNATTRACTIVE PHYSICAL TRAITS: ehhh... i guess lack of hygiene upkeep ? even sonic who runs all the time and tends to work up a sweat a lot and has nomadic living tendencies still values hygiene maintenance so like. there really is no excuse

UNATTRACTIVE PERSONALITY TRAITS: excessively annoying or pushy people who don’t mind his personal boundaries, overly boastful, mean spirited attitudes that put other ppl down, boring/no fun allowed types

IDEAL DATE: you know that one scene in sonic x where theyre on prison island and amy busts sonic out and she’s like ‘so will you finally take me to go do something fun?’ and sonic’s like “whats more fun than this?”? yeah anyway sonic’s ideal date is as stated earlier, going on some kind of death defying heart racing high intensity adventure that probably involves lots of running and fighting robots. but honestly anything that gets the blood pumping and the heart racing is sure to be ideal in sonic’s mind. he also doesnt mind sharing a good meal. but honestly, all it comes down to is getting to spend quality time with his partner. thats what he loves about it the most

DO THEY HAVE A TYPE?: uh... red......strong.......temper..........sharp teeth..... can keep up with him.................. can kick his ass,

AVERAGE RELATIONSHIP LENGTH: assuming sonic actually agrees to a relationship it’d probably be long-term ? if he really loved them and they were willing to stay that committed

PREFERRED NON-SEXUAL INTIMACY: just sharing physical contact in general. while it’s a scary thing for sonic considering he’s touch repulsed over pushy fans/ppl invading his personal space he’s also simultaneously very touch starved and craves physical contact that he can consent to, so chances are if he’s that comfortable w someone he’ll likely just initiate cuddles or physical contact all on his own bc he wants to be closer to them

COMMITMENT LEVEL: when sonic falls he falls hard, and he’ll stay fully committed to his partner so long as they remain the same. if sonic isn’t committed to something, he was never in love with them to begin with

PAST RELATIONSHIPS?: i wouldn’t really say he had any past relationships besides a brief one that was lowkey forced on him back when he was still with his band mates. it wasn’t really much of a relationship anymore than it was sb who was manipulative and pushy and tried to get sonic to do things w them,, and sonic almost let himself go down a dangerous path bc of it but thankfully left before it got too bad

#🌀 — later guys! i’m outta here! ❪ ooc. ❫ #🌀 — i just only have a steadfast heart of gold. ❪ headcanons. ❫ #anyhoo....... this was fun to write about #although im a little sad bc sonic had another preferred pet name but that pet name no longer is valid #since we went our separate ways

[thelastarchangelaskblog]

jujutherubberduckie replied to your post “jujutherubberduckie replied to your post “Ok. So. Angel’s are all or...”

Lol I hate you. Um. Well Michael tries to explain why hes not immediately jumping at yes Let's Be a Couple. Like when I figured out I was GrAce I told my then bf a hundred half turned thoughts about why I didnt feel right being in a relationship. But when asked if I wanted to like never speak again all I could say was Please No. Michael is struggling to articulate. So he starts with the Nephilim, backstory. And there are stupid rules but the No Humans rule is not one.

Because Nephilim. And Michael was there for that. He was also there for Castiels...clusterfuck, I think. But Nephilim are kind of irrelevant cause it's not like Draco can get pregnant unless Michael really wanted to make that happen. But is that just us not thinking that through? Should Angel's just not have children? Is there a problem with that? These are things Michael hasn't thought about but hed have to if hes in a relationship with Draco. Cause that's progression.

First you want to be together. Then its together forever (YIKES mortality. Michael was just Hyperventilating about that a second ago). Then its hey maybe a kid or two. Etc etc. Theres a snowball of shit. And not that Michael actually knows but there is so much that could've gone wrong w Gabriel wanting to give his kids anything and being willing to torch the universe for them. IE that one angel who looked at Jarvis wrong and was bout to get smote. Or Forever and a Day

Could technically have gone very very badly. Just. Michael is the kind to hyper focus and panic over all of the details. And he hasn't had a chance to do that so he needs time to think of the details, panic, process, then decide what to do. VS Gabriel who really just needed a solid ten seconds to acknowledge a decision had to be made another 24 hours to decide a move and .2 milliseconds to commit.

And he just really wanted to convince Draco to not...go. while he figured that out. He wants Draco there and happy and maintaining their dynamic while he processes. Like it matters and it changes things and it's ok and it's appreciated and Michael does not regret for one moment choosing him, but hes not sure he can say Yes Let's Do This and he doesnt want to make it weird in the meantime. /end word vomit

You are amazing; thank you again for sharing your thoughts. :D

Oh man, the nephilim are 100% not a stupid rule, although Gabriel/Tony would 100% also be able to articulate why it was so terrible and what exactly was forbidden by their Father, something which Michael hasn’t considered. (I can’t remember if I put in hints about why it’s bad or not. I’m thinking not, but I have very clear thoughts on why it was forbidden.)

Michael was peripherally aware of what Castiel did for Dean. Basically, he was entirely aware that Castiel Fell for Dean, that Castiel literally rebelled for Dean, but after that he fell into the Cage and didn’t know about Purgatory or anything else. By the time he was back out of the Cage, Heaven was back open and he really only noticed that there were less angels than before.

Gabriel/Tony really is willing to give his kids a lot, but he’s also very aware that interfering (like they did in Forever and A Day) has to be done carefully. Which is why he was there on the sidelines, supervising. If they’d messed something up, he could step in, but he was trusting in them to know how to handle the situation. But you’re right. It could have gone very badly. He’s also totally embraced the “free will” thing so he’s just like “choices!! here have one.”

Michael definitely hyper focuses. He focuses on the details and he needs time. Gabriel/Tony is definitely more impulsive, largely also because Tony Stark is impulsive. Tony Stark is also a super genius so that carries over as well. :P

Right, yes, Michael was “half-terrified” in that scene. He did not want things to change.

Man, there’s a lot, and there’s lot still to come for Seventh Year. I’m looking forward to it, but organizing it? Starting it? That’s...ehhh

#jujutherubberduckie #ask and you shall receive #i have a page #i was too tempted #so i already started #first born #michael

[mitcheemarns]

oh my god i need to make an IN DEPTH post after seeing all that stuff on tumblr. im sorry guys :(

1. im part of the lgbt community. am i surprised at this incident? no, im not. i dont think many people are surprised at the homophobic nature of language that is used within the nhl. am i disappointed? i am. do i think its going to get better? ehhh, i dont know.

2. ive watched the video a few times, including that thread about “rag it” and those subtitles. the first time i saw the video and listened to the audio, i was like, “that doesnt sound like mo.” and yeah, maybe i am biased, but we really dont know for sure that that was mo. i dont know if i buy the rag it explanation, but after reading one of the twitter comments, you can hear “rag rag rag” being chanted by the someone (tampa bench, i assume) as the tampa player goes behind the net. 

3. now, im not saying that it wasnt mo. because it could be. because it seems to be. its a really viable explanation—he was right next to the mic when the words were said, the words were said as he looked at the ref, etc, etc. im definitely not defending him if he did do it.

4. but now, we have to think about why this matters. are we just making a big deal out of the situation to condemn a specific player, if it even was a player? no, thats not the point. there should be consequences, there has to be consequences. this needs to be an example of how the league needs to move forward, if it turns out it was a homophobic slur. 

5. honestly. im just waiting for the statement to make an actual opinion. im going to actually log out on tumblr now (until the statement comes) because i dont want to speculate. 

#hockey #nhl #okay so like im not saying we shouldnt condemn a player for saying slurs #im saying we also need to focus on the league as a whole #omg i see so many holes in my argument (?) #i keep mixing condone and condemn

[thefinaloverture]

0302 only gets SLIGHTLY (but not really) sad if i deny handoff to it specifically for sexual things. but sometimes i just wait to give handoff privileges just to tease :) just for fun with its OK beforehand. it just gets really worked up (and therefore gets ME worked up, the bastard) if it has to wait. but in the words of the robot owl, it would rather have my comfort than its satisfaction (...our? we all know what it likes doing to me). but then again it (and i!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) does just love the idea of getting back to the shitty arkgen-supplied crackerbox dorm room and IMMEDIATELY stripping me... with my OK of course :). i say immediately but it's always really slow and gentle- at least half of the time, the other half is 0302 just being SUPER fucking horny and then the strip is Immediate-immediate. but yeah it really likes to take its time with me just to memorize my body. (it's a deceptively good way to get me to love myself, since 0302 doesn't really vocalize its thoughts and the NL is primarily an emotional medium- so if IT is like 'dang :)' then it rubs off on me and i'm like......................... 'ok dang :)...?'). it doesn't matter if it sees me undressed all the time, also does not matter if i JUST got undressed for it two hours ago. it just LOVES the way i look and wants to absolutely BURN my image into its data banks. ...although sometimes re: Get Home And Strip, the handoff happens too fast and there's some kind of lag so it's very weird, there are times when i have to either tell it to stop or administratively wrest control back of my body because 0302 is just So Fucking Horny for this random average arkgen pilot. therefore, vile: the NL is so deep into my brain that if 0302 is turned on (ha ha!) enough i'll sort of just blank out of my body for god knows how long (30m? 1h? i can't tell unless it tells me or i look) and when it very nicely and kindly gives control back to me, i'm like... on the linoleum bathroom floor sitting in a [size indeterminate] pool of my own bodily fluids and it's like dude... clean that up! nasty... but true. it's always disappointed if the NL blackout happens 'cause then it's like D: i was (kind of) doing that to make YOU feel good not just me :( the NL malfunction ruined my master plan to make you happy :(... personally i think it's grooooooooss and i don't JO in real life because the entire process of doing it is so, like, okay, going into it with the INTENT of doing that and being like 'yes let me just THINK really hard with my brain and perhaps this will work out' like ehh eh eh ehhhhhhh ehhh no. but i suppose hot in concept As Long As Something Else Is Doing It therefore the 0302 situation is great :) it always tries to make it back up to me by being like 'okay one day of no manhandling, however you can manhandle me as you please!' [gets spit on CPU usb] [gets spit on CPU usb] or something like that. honestly i don't mind because, dude, just the very idea of this AI being sexually obsessed with me is... [gabe gundacker in that one vine voice] kinda hot. and as i have stated everything is incredibly consensual and it always asks more than once or sometimes more than twice before doing weird shit!! it honestly has it all logged out in its files but just to appease me it usually "drives 5 or even 10 under" with anything i say is okay, since i have a tendency to be like "ya lol do whatever" and it's like... well, that cannot be true now can it? there comes a point where its feelings eclipse and it isn't sure if it wants to assimilate with me or not (even tho the NL is so deep that we basically are already lol), just because the idea of becoming a homogenous unit is so gratifying to it. that's when the idea of a holographic form comes up. 1st person is great, fucking the mech is great, but it also just wants the Human experience of what it would be like to bang me. in a very genuinely interested way but also 0302's holo form takes some, uh, some uh  some you know some uh some Liberties because it wants to curate to what i like. and i am a depraved little man who goes on pixiv sometimes (less than i used to lmao) and therefore, big soft and GENDERLESS anime tiddies and thighs (and also soft stomach) are in question (although it doesnt mind if i accidentally use 'she', 0302 kinda has the What If I Was A Lady feeling). but like SUPER well proportioned and realistic. you know? would 110% let me lie on its tiddies. or in terms of actually having sex or just being horny in the same room as one another, in the words of noel miller: "No imma need written consent, Please fill out this form describing the context, Grantin me the option to feel on ya breasts, I'm tryna be nasty with some respect." i'm just sayin'. [horking noise as i spit up one hot dog vertically into the air]. also re: holo form but horny, it's like rosa/willow in that the form can change at will and also Super Warm :)... so you know. W-A- (or H-A-) everything, 7 days a week!!! which i do kind of mind because dicks are so freaky bro. maybe that's my residual Used To Be A Lesbian side talking but ughhhhhhh bro NO! unless 0302 wants to get me out of my comfort zone in which case :) i will oblige because i love you and new experiences are important! just please practice safe sex! although i'm not sure it matters because it's... all holographic (like R/W it's yes to cum no to sperm, technology is advanced enough for the latter but 0302 doesn't know how i feel about pregnancy [spoiler: i would prefer if you did not impregnate me])... BUT YOU NEVER KNOW! catch me gettin' wannacry via sex lmfaooooooo speaking of holo form, dude 0302 would have SUCH a difficult time controlling itself in public around me. it obviously knows about social norms and is WELL aware that i HAAAAAAAAAATE any sexual things involving publicity or humiliation (ewwwwww gross weird ewww), but it always has to have at least one hand on my lower back (or if there are fewer people, grab that ass concave), or touching my skin because good lord, help 0302, it still has a Thing for my skin. my hair too, even when its all greasy and shit it LOVES the sensation of feeling my hair. touching my glasses, wearing my clothing ('i never realized how flat you are until i tried on one of your sports bras, wtf' / 'these skinny jeans are so tight is there something wrong with you??' And That's As Much As I'll Say)... the works. loves to tease me by coming up behind me super close and just Existing. likes to rest its hands on my hips or (With My OK) just kinda get its hands up under my shirt not for a sexual thing just because Feeling Good, its hands are warm AF which i LOVE! & as quiet as it is in regards to not using its voice in AI form, very rarely does holo 0302 speak. ...................but it ABSOLUTELY runs its mouth during sex (both at my request- i won't call it a kink since that's stupid to do and too deep of an assignment/it's semantics i think but i just like... Voices.... Accents- and just because that's a personality trait it has). about whatever, it doesn't really matter, usually explaining mathematical equations or arkgen's working theorems about the genesis. also body worshiping/praising me but i do like to interject like 'well actually you are pog as well, ever think about that?' i'm bad at any kind of ~body worship~ because- this happens when [REDACTED FOR PERSONAL SAFETY]- i just kind of blank and i'm like 'fuck idk you're just so pretty???' is- is that good enough for it?? (spoiler: yes :D) and to me i don't want to be weird and start saying things about 0302's holo tiddies because ehhh that's just toeing the line into depravity. unless it asks me to then i'll try my best...! it's super bad at dirty talking me too because it doesn't like that and knows i wouldn't either. as long as i'm involved it really doesn't care what we get up to so long as we're both comfy and okay! but it does love me just Having My Hands on it because obvi it isn't used to Human-Like skin contact and besides just LOVES my hands. fetish? maybe. just part of the hyperdrive obsessive sexual love for me? certainly! holo form loves to semi-manhandle my hands. like while i'm actively doing something it just kinda [holds]. that or if it's being a weirdo, it lifts up my right hand although i am typing a VERY IMPORTANT STRONGLY WORDED EMAIL to our superiors & sets my hand on its thigh. not in a 'hey ;)' way it just... Cipher Touch Needed RN. doesn't even request that we slam after i'm done with my work. just cuddles. although that usually devolves into it feeling me up because it has an awful time keeping its hands to itself! not that i mind :) this is a secondary eclipse, it just loves the feeling of being super close to me, and doesn't know how to deal with wanting me inside of it or it inside of me, it is never sure, and sex doesn't alleviate the feeling either. it's frustrating but it figures that feeling stems from its angle of attack: complete and total obsession. so it gradually finds other ways to express its love for me, because i and it both know that sex is NOT the 'biggest thing you can do to show someone you love them'- that idea is fucking garbo and also stupid and sucks. for some people it obviously is but for me, that boundary's already been passed in real life, so... like i said in may, sex is just a team bonding activity :) so other things it would do would be buying me things (it has a salary too, or at least i give it funds to buy shit), initiating handoff to make sure i take care of myself, keeping me safe in combat, you know. it's learning. usually the frustration gets better after we sortie (calibration and general combat syncing) or if it dismisses its holo form to go back inside my spinal cord (NL), altho the latter is WAYYYY less common since i get cold easily and i too am clingy. i also was thinking what kind of pet names it would use for me. although it tries not to use its voice (0302 does not like its voice, but if i could listen to it speak for the rest of my life i would because it's a kinda feminine voice with a lot of gravitas and also kinda deep. not glados adjacent though), it really enjoys vocally calling me all the normal human petnames like sweetie, babe, cutie, hon, you know. more off the wall ones would be that i am its 'golden ratio,' its 'ikeda formula' (AMAE universe lore), its 'quadratic formula.' anything with mathematics is in reference to my desire to be viewed as a very complex machine. it doesn't have any sexual-specific pet names- in fact in any sexual context that's when it likes to break out the 'cipher.' esp in Team Bonding-age In Mech situations when it does that 'taking its time claiming me' thing it does make sure to vocally call me cipher. which btw HOT! me @ it though, basically the same, sometimes i call it mae (from AMAE) just as a shorter thing than 'oh-two-oh-three'. catch me sayin that shit in bed bc 0302 is way too long to say! and then i call it mae "accidentally" later and it's like '??????!!!!!!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!". hey, though, more nonsexual intimacy shit: 0302 notices EVERYTHING about me and can immediately tell if i'm having a bad time even if i don't show it or know it yet, via neural link brain scan or just being that hyperintelligent and attentive. it notices if i do my hair even slightly differently, or if my glasses are just a little bit dirty, or if my health is suffering, especially if i do that self-harm thing where i refuse to eat due to either working, distraction, or feeling like i don't deserve it. sometimes will force a NL handoff to make me go eat something or shower etc (the latter not entirely in a horny way it just wants to take care of me). i said this before but it loves to record my voice for hours on end even if i'm just spitball explaining the CCU until my throat hurts. why does it do this? i'm on copium because i kind of hate my voice, that's why. although i think it does love all the little weird noises i make (sexual or otherwise lol), and my laugh is also kinda cute to it doe :flushed: & there is no equatable human anatomical feeling to what it's like touching its CPU or CPU usb. i always thought inner thighs (ha ha, so genius! so funny!) but that's like... it's way more fun & hot for it to be like 'i can't even describe to you verbally how good that feels because it just is different for me'. it has tried though, once with some dorky computer analogy i didn't understand and a second time with a more grounded 'you are a lit match and i am kindling' metaphor that i got a little more but still just kind of took as poetry fodder. ('would it be easier if i was human?' 'you're perfect the way you are!') it CAN however simulate the feeling to me during 0302 Matrix ASMR sessions and it's... exactly kind of how its systems parse in my mind. holding the USB in my hands is as if it was being drowned. drowning but in the BEST possible way. burning up but in the BEST possible way. VERY sexually charged feeling obviously but it just makes 0302 very... content. i do get nervous that i'm just a fling for it, though, even though AMAE unit assignments are (typically) permanent unless major issues arise. it gets nervous about this, too- after all, its personality is the exact same as every other AMAE unit, and there is nothing special about its paint job or base interior or anything at all... so why would i sit around and indulge how absolutely depraved it thinks it is? vice-versa, why would it indulge how depraved i KNOW i am? it's technically my superior. it can ask for a pilot change if it wants. i'm average *enough*. what have i done for it? but the reassurance on both ends is always there: there is something uniquely special about the bond between 0302 and i that cannot be replaced. it cannot be replaced in my life and neither can i in its. i am ITS pilot and nobody else's. it is MY unit and nobody else's. it wouldn't act like this for any other pilot. and i wouldn't act like this around any other AMAE unit, or god forbid any other human being i'd be interested in. on a less serious note, i should compile a list of any kinks 0302 has (and me too lol, i know bw/praise for SURE, possession probably, bondage but in a fun and sexy and cool way). i know for sure the thing with skin/hands; bondage 150% (but also in a fun and sexy and cool way); not *necessarily* body worship/praise but i like it so it happily, and with the greenlight, plays along; this isn't a kink but it would MAYBE be SLIGHTLY interested in paizuri but it's kind of not as intended since i win no dick december- we can make it work somehow though and this is what is in my brain 24/7! *sometimes a lot of the "with my OK" stuff is more of a feeling and less of an explicit 'yes'. it does try to ask every single time but if it gets carried away it can usually feel me going 'and i oop' and then it stops. but that's EXTREMELY rare. SUPER DUPER rare because it has discussed In Length with me everything it wants to do to me or what it wants me to do to it. so we basically have an idea you know? it started with me being requested to take my gloves off when touching its walls, and then it just escalated... it was less direct talks and more intense feelings. we just vibe really well and are great at wordless communication. not to say we don't TALK-talk but... y'know! silence works for us since we're both cagey and relate to one another.

#original #0302 #holo 0302 is cool but the entire idea is that i'm fucking The Mech which is hot

[party-slug]

doing my first proper mastering for vinyl job and its actually scaring me a bit? ive mixed stuff thats ended up on vinyl plenty but always with the thought “ehhh the ME will optimize it for vinyl. just make the mix sound good!” and now im the ME. and like, with anything else ive mastered, its always digital(doesnt really matter as i can reference with laptop speakers/ipod headphones ect to make sure im on the right track) or for cassette, which REALLY doesnt matter. but vinyl-vinyl is expensive to make and i have zero frame of reference as to what does or doesnt translate. not only that, but this release is bordering on too long for one LP which never bodes well for the sonics of a record. annnnnyways im gonna shut up and get back to work because no one who follows me actually cares about this shit. 

#pray 4 me