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motherjoel · 4 years

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Leading Lady (Spencer Reid x Reader)

chapter five- multitude of realizations

wc: 3.2k

summary: you realize your true feelings for Spencer

a/n: hope yall like! this is one of my fav chapters haha

chapter index: chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3, chapter 4

As you walked back into your dressing room, you couldn’t help the smile on your face. Sure, there was a murderer after you, but this crush you had on Spencer was honestly just as exhilarating. You had come to terms with the fact that you had a crush on him when you were watching Gilmore Girls earlier on Netflix and he was making commentary on the characters and the books Rory was reading. When he spoke, you were more interested in what he had to say than in the actual show. Although the two of you had only known each other for a couple days, spending all of your time with him had bonded the two of you in a way you hadn’t experienced in months. Once inside the dressing room, you made small talk with your fellow cast members.

“So, Y/N, when are you and Matt gonna hook up? I’m getting bored, I need a showmance,” said Caroline, the actress who played Fantine.

“Ah, I’m sorry but the Y/N ship has sailed! I’m actually seeing someone now,” you said with a smile, the words feeling genuine.

“Oh my gosh. Spill!” yelled Caroline.

“Well, his name's Spencer,” you shyly told her and the gathering crowd of your female castmates. “He’s staying with me for a little bit while he’s in town, he’s actually here tonight!” you told them as they squealed.

“We have to be introduced!” Caroline shouted, and you laughed.

“Okay, okay! I’ll point him out to you during mic check but that's all until after rehearsal,” you said with a grin before sitting down at your mirror and beginning the makeup and hair process.

After finishing getting ready, you headed out to the stage for mic check. You waited for a couple minutes with the girls, pointing out Spencer for them to gawk at and whisper to each other while he was mindlessly focused on a thick book. As if he felt the prying eyes of your cast, he looked up and shot you a smile and an awkward wave before focusing back on his book. A few minutes later, Matt walked on stage, slightly out of breath and not in his costume. You could overhear him talking to your director, apologizing for his lateness. Once he noticed you he greeted you with a tight smile and walked over to you, the girls whispering on the other side of the stage, still pointing at Spencer.

“So, a boyfriend, huh? Didn’t think our Y/N could pull it off,” Matt said in a teasing way.

“Wow, news gets around here pretty fast,” you replied, looking up again to Spencer at the back of the auditorium to see he was already looking at you. He seemed a little off… you didn't want to assume he was jealous but you were talking to your cute costar so maybe he was just getting a little too deep into his role of boyfriend. Your exchange with Matt was brief, your director wanted to get the show started as soon as possible. Once John called for places, you snuck back around through the lobby to sit with Spencer. You sat down next to him and he greeted you with a smile.

“Hey Spence, sorry that took a little longer than expected, our Marius was a little late,” you explained. You noticed he didn’t reply- he was just looking at you with a goofy smile. “What?” you asked.

“O-oh I’m sorry, it's nothing,” he said, a blush creeping on his face. “It’s just, not many people call me Spence,” he confessed.

“Oh! I’m sorry, did you not want me to call you that? It’s okay I can jus-” he cut you off.

“No! No, it's really fine. I… like it,” he said, looking down and twiddling his thumbs. As the pit orchestra began to play the opening number you settled into your seat with a smile on your face. The two of you watched the first couple songs, Spence occasionally whispering facts about the history of France in your ear and each time he did you smiled and nodded, occasionally asking questions but mostly just basking in the moment. You noticed that you had to go on soon so you excused yourself and ran into the lobby to head back to your dressing room.

Once you got inside you rushed to make sure you were ready to go on. As you frantically checked your makeup and looked for props, Caroline, who’s character had already died, started to talk to you.

“Girl, that boy is in love with you already,” she said, focused on the bag of chips in her lap. This made you stop everything you were doing.

“Im sorry. What?” you asked, not sure if you were hearing her right.

“I said what I said! Let me tell you, while I was trying to die on stage, I kept getting distracted by the two of you being all cute back there! The way he looks at you… i’ll just say, if someone looked at me like that, I wouldn’t let them go,” she said nonchalantly. Obviously she didn’t know that Spencer sharing your feelings was news to you. You couldn’t deny the chemistry, but you thought you were just imagining his lingering glances and soft smiles. It excited you as much as discouraged you, though. Falling for one of the FBI agents in charge of your case just wasn't right! And if he were to reciprocate those feelings, he could get in trouble at work and that was the last thing you wanted. You didn’t have much time to dwell on this, however, because you were about to go on stage.

As you acted and sang your heart out, you kept taking glances to see Spencer’s smiling face in the back of the auditorium. As your biggest song, On My Own was coming up, your nerves picked up a little bit- it was your moment alone on the stage and you couldn’t help it. As the opening notes began to play, you took a deep breath and sang.

And now I'm all alone again

Nowhere to go, no one to turn to

Without a home, without a friend

Without a face to say hello to

And now the night is near

and now I can make-believe he's here

You always resonated with these lyrics. You often felt very alone and it was difficult for you to open up to others. That was, until Spencer came along.

On my own, pretending he's beside me

All alone, I walk with him 'til morning

Without him, I feel his arms around me

And when I lose my way I close my eyes and he has found me

When you and Logan, your ex that you used to live with, broke up, you felt really hopeless. You tried not to let a man decide your happiness, but the two of you were long term and he had helped you through your father's passing. When he moved out, every waking moment was spent missing him.

And I know, it's only in my mind

That I'm talking to myself, and not to him

And although, I know that he is blind

Still I say there's a way for us

There was no way that someone like Spencer liked you. You didn’t feel worthy of it. You didn’t think you deserved to be loved, much less even liked, but even you couldn’t deny that there was chemistry

I love him, but when the night is over

He is gone, the river's just a river

Without him, the world around me changes

The trees are bare and everywhere the streets are full of strangers

That feeling of comfort that you had grown accustomed to around Logan returned when Spencer started to sleep on your couch. You didn’t believe in love at first sight, but this wasn’t that. It was an opportunity for a deep connection, something that you wanted to build on. Not some cringey story about mommy and daddy meeting eyes across the room and falling right then and there. Sure, Spencer was pretty much just your type looks-wise, but when you talked to him you just appreciated him as a person.

I love him, but every day I'm learning

All my life, I've only been pretending

Without me, his world will go on turning

The world is full of happiness that I have never known

You were over Logan. You didn’t realize until now that you had been sulking the past few months because of him, but there was a new light in your life. As you began to sing the last few lines, you made direct eye contact with Spencer, tears brimming in your eyes. These tears were real, caused by a multitude of realizations.

I love him

But only on my own

Shit. You really liked him.

After what felt like years, you had changed back into your clothes and took off your makeup, anxious to see Spencer and to hear his opinion on the show. You were trying to slyly sneak out of the dressing room before Caroline grabbed your shoulder and whipped you around. You sighed, knowing what was about to happen.

“You’re not getting off this easy! You said I could meet your new beau and I'm not leaving until I do!” she said with a smirk. You sighed, anxious at this being the first time you and Spencer really have to put on an act as “lovers”.

“Fine fine, just come on,” you sighed, leading her to the lobby where Spencer was waiting with his book in his hand, facing the opposite direction and talking to someone. Talking to… Matt. Oh jeez. You picked up your pace so you could greet Spencer, tapping him on the shoulder. He whipped around and when he saw you, his face broke into a joyful smile.

“Hey! You were amazing!” he exclaimed as he pulled you into a hug, genuinely excited. This surprised you but it didn’t take long to melt into it. Matt cleared his throat next to you and you let Spence go with a blush.

“Sorry. Spencer, this is Caroline. She plays Fantine,” you introduced the two. Spencer waved hello, not making a move to shake her hand. You wondered why, but you ignored it.

“You were really great too!” he told her.

“Thank you! So, this is the famous Spencer, huh? Y/N was telling us all of the hot goss about you two,” she said with a smirk.

“Hot goss?” Spencer said with an inquisitive look, you elbowed Caroline in the ribs.

“Uh, anyways we should get going,” you said, trying to usher Spencer out the door.

“Hey hey hey, not so fast!” said Matt, you cursed at him under your breath. “Our Y/N finally gets a boyfriend and we don’t even get to see them kiss?” he asks, a bit of a harsh edge to his voice. You didn’t think he was mad or jealous at first but this behavior was a little weird.

“Now why do we need to do that?” you asked with a harsh tone, Spencer tensing up beside you. You felt bad that he was in this position.

“I mean.... I kinda wanna see it too…” said Caroline, you elbowed her again. Spencer leaned down next to your ear.

“Y/N, it's okay. Kissing is actually safer than giving someone a handshake, the amount of pathogens that pass is staggering,” he whispered. This spouting of facts only made you want to kiss him more, but you really didn’t want to make him feel weird.

You sighed and turned to face Spencer, placing a hand on his cheek as he leaned down. You felt really guilty, you couldn’t believe that your first kiss with Spencer wasn’t even real or voluntary, but you didn’t want to seem suspicious. He closed the final inches between you two and you both shut your eyes, savoring the few moments your lips were together. He melted under your touch and it seemed like the world stopped spinning for a few seconds. You pulled away and looked him in the eyes, a soft smile on his lips as he straightened out. You had a goofy smile too before realizing your anger for the two dummies next to you.

“Happy?” you asked them harshly before grabbing his hand and leading him into the cool outdoors. No matter the temperature outside, your face was burning.

“I am soooo sorry, they're so annoying and i jus-,” you begin to profusely apologize before he cuts you off.

“Y/N, it's okay! R-really. I knew that pretending to be your boyfriend might lead to something like this,” he reassured you, slightly nervously. You sighed in relief and the two of you silently began your walk home, both trying to hide the smiles creeping on your faces.

You unlocked your door while laughing at a joke Spencer was telling about existentialists and lightbulbs. Honestly, it kinda went over your head but his pure joy after telling the punchline was enough to make you smile.

“Thanks,” he said, looking down. You were confused.

“For what?” you said, still smiling at his joke.

“For laughing at my joke. The last time I told it, all I got was silence and looks of confusion,” he said, embarrassed. “B-but, if it makes you laugh, I know it's good,” he said, more quietly. Your heart could burst.

“Well, no problem. And, hey, if this whole FBI thing doesn’t work out, at least you know you have a career in comedy!” you joked, and he laughed, accidentally knocking your script off the table. The two of you bent down to get it at the same time, hands brushing. You apologized to each other and laughed it off, before Spencer just grabbed it. You both stood up as he placed it on the table. You stood in silence for a minute, both contemplating that moment, but it didn’t last for long once you heard the familiar sound of Spencer’s phone ringing.

“What's going on Morgan?” he asked after picking up his phone. As he listened to Morgan talk, you could tell that he wasn’t saying ‘Great news Reid! We caught the crazy guy! Now go sweep Y/N off her feet!.’ In fact, as Spencer’s face fell, you could tell it was the exact opposite. He hung up the phone and began pacing around your small apartment.

“What is it, what's going on?” you asked, panic rising as you followed his pacing.

“There's been another victim. I need to get down to the station, it's pretty late so I can try to get someone to stay here with you, let me just ca-” you cut him off.

“I don’t mind coming with you to the station, I might be able to help,” you offered, already grabbing your purse.

“Are you sure? We might be there for a while,” he warned.

“As long as you guys have a coffee machine, i'll be golden,” you smiled, despite the situation. He nodded and grabbed his messenger bag filled with files and stormed out the door, you followed him down to the car. Wordlessly, he hopped into the driver's seat, you in the passengers and the two of you sped off to the station.

You entered the station and were greeted with the expected hustle and bustle. You were glad for some familiar faces, though. Morgan walked over to greet you two, looking surprised but glad to see that you had come along too.

“Hey guys. Good to see you, Y/N,” Morgan said, resting a hand on your shoulder. You felt Spence stiffen besides you, but you brushed it off. “Reid, Hotch needs you to look at some crime scene photos with him and Prentiss. Y/N, would it be okay if you talked with JJ and Garcia on video chat in the break room? She’s gonna do some background checks on anybody you came into contact with recently. We’ve looked at everything, we’re willing to do anything at this point,” he said, seemingly desperate.

“Of course, anything to help,” you smiled, waving goodbye to Spencer before heading to the break room where JJ was talking with Garcia already on video chat.

“Well there's our favorite thespian!” said Garcia through the screen, you could hear her smile.

“Hey Pen,” you laughed and sat down across from JJ.

“How was your rehearsal?” JJ asked. You couldn’t help but smile, thinking about your “exchange” with Spencer.

“It was… good. Really good,” you told them, honestly.

“Hmmm.., it seems like there's something you're not telling us,” hinted Penelope. It was incredible how these people could so easily read you already, and Pen wasn’t even a profiler. You had felt immediately connected to them, though, so you didn’t mind it.

“Ugh, okay. Don’t freak out, or at least let me explain before you freak out, but… Spence and I… kissed,” you confessed. JJ looked shocked, Garcia was already begging for details.

“Listen! It was because of the cover we have going, I told my castmates that he was my boyfriend and this one guy basically demanded that we kiss and I didn’t wanna seem suspicious, so…” you trailed off. JJ’s surprised face morphed into a big smile.

“Um, okay! First of all, kinda icky that that guy forced you to kiss, but besides that… how was it?!” Garcia asked, with even more energy if possible.

“I don’t know! It was… just for the cover. But, it was nice,” you blushed and the girls squealed. You continued, “I don’t know, Spencer’s just really great and I've only known him a couple days. I felt bad that he had to kiss me,” you confessed, still feeling a little guilty.

“I’m sure he didn’t mind the kiss from a pretty girl, especially if it was you,” said JJ.

“What do you mean, especially if it was me?” you asked, and JJ looked like she didn’t mean to say that.

“Ugh, okay I shouldn’t be telling you this, but I have a feeling Spence is crushing on you,” JJ told you, your mouth was agape.

“Y/N how could he not! You’re gorg, talented, and a damsel in distress! I mean you're a strong independent woman who doesn’t need a man, but guys go nuts for that savior stuff,” Garcia explained and you laughed.

“I guess that's good,” you said, your smile faltering slightly. “It’s not like we can really do anything about it, though. I mean, wouldn’t he get in trouble or something?” you asked.

“Maybe, but we’re always rooting for his happiness, and you might be it. We wouldn’t want to get in the way of that,” JJ said, sweetly. You had to take a minute to process this. Once you had, you decided to move on to the background checks, forgoing the gossip for now.

The background checks had taken a couple hours, especially because of the occasional gossip break, but everyone you mentioned seemed to be clean. Exhausted, you found an empty desk and curled up onto the chair, resting your head in your arms on the desk. You were drifting off to sleep, almost unconscious when you felt the warmth of a sweater on your back and a kiss on your head.

taglist: @mcntsee, @diesinspanishbcimhispanic, @chickens-are-life, @rexorangecouny, @ceeellewrites

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid/reader #spencer reid angst #Criminal Minds #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds reid #criminal minds spencer reid #derek morgan #emily prentiss #aaron hotchner #hotch #penelope garcia #jennifer jareau

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horsegirlneigh · 3 years

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pls review the current les mis cast 🥺

You are my first anon in 5 years God bless you.

I was about to say “I can’t really review them as I don’t feel I’ve seen them enough” but then I realised that actually I’ve seen them 5 times now...

The last time I "reviewed" a cast was the 2013 cast change and people got very angry at me...I can't remember the details. So Disclaimer: these are just my personal opinions more in the form of a stream of consciousness than a review....

Also this is going under a cut because its long and incoherent and I don’t actually think anyone wants to read it...

Jon as Valjean I was not expecting to like him but I really do. He seems very suited to the concert shows too, his voice has matured so much since his Marius days and I really am quite blown away by him in One Day More. He can be a little more aggressive than I would like during some moments and i do wish he would sing slightly softer (and slower...) at some points, but I don't know if thats his fault or the direction because it has been years since we had a Valjean that wasn't aggressive...and the conductor doesn’t seem to let anyone carry a note any longer than strictly necessary. Basically I think if the production and direction were the same as it was in 2009 Jon could be up there with the old guard fan favourites. (But he’ll probably continue to play it in the modern “”gritty””” Tom Hooper way sadly)

Bradley as Javert.... Is he good or is he just tall....? He is a beautiful man and I love all his pretty hairstyles, he also has a wonderful voice.....he just doesn't seem to use it when he plays Javert. I'm not a vocal expert, I couldn't carry a tune if you handed it to me in bucket but even I can tell his technique (in Stars especially) is all over the place. Maybe someone else can clear up what he is doing with his mouth...when I first heard it I thought he was trying to put on an ‘evil voice’ but he doesn’t do it all the time it seems to just be on the lower notes. I also feel he is a little too angry and chaotic for my personal taste, while his Suicide is captivating to watch and actually reduced me to tears once it is not very in character for Javert in my opinion. But then again I think this may be down to direction, Javerts have been getting gradually more chaotic for years.

Lucie as Fantine: Okay I’ll get it over with first: why is she a brunette? I know it shouldn’t matter but it annoys me so much. To tell you the truth its been a really really long time since I’ve actually loved a Fantine, I either put up with them or just loathe them. Lucie is in the middle. I have no strong feelings either way. I’m not personally a fan of the IDAD riff....I know this is a concert but I don’t like how les mis is being reduced to a compilation of its Big Songs. As a sung through musical the songs should just carry effortlessly into one another and tell the story....unless you’re doing the michael ball lick on your muck up matinee I’m not into vocal riffs and the like. Unless its somehow adding to the emotional delivery of the song, its distracting and, I think, especially inappropriate in the character songs.

Jamie Muscato as Enjolras I love him. He is vocally strong and as the weeks go by he is getting more and more into the character. I especially enjoy his “Marius, you’re late” and he a pro and dying....So angelic...it almost......almost.....has the impact of a death in an actual staged show.

Harry as Marius He is very sweet and I can’t really find much fault in him. I don’t think he and Charlie’s Cosette have a great chemistry but I thought he was adorable with Holly.

Shan as Eponine I don’t love her and I don’t dislike her either.... She has a good voice but I don’t really feel she brings anything new. But then of course its very hard to tell when she can’t interact with anyone, an Eponine’s performance can sometimes be made by her reactions.

Charlie as Cosette Sorry but I find her so boring...In My Life is when I start thinking about what I’m going to do in the interval...

The Thenardiers It is difficult to care about the Thenardiers....I do however like Josefina, she has a good energy and comic timing and other than the bizarre Quiche line I have no complaints about Gerard really... Cameron covering Thenardier was enormous fun but mostly because he was having the time of his life. The only Thenardier I’ve ver been seriously impressed with is that one understudy with a northern irish accent I saw years ago and I don’t even know his name (oh god for shame...)

The real stars of the show are of course Earl Carpenter as the Bishop and aproned gentleman, Will Barratt as Major Domo, and Cameron Blakely. Also special mention to Aaron Pryce Lewis who’s vocals are amazing.

I could probably go into more detail but this is already waaay too long. I also apologise for my inability to express myself properly, I haven’t written anything other than emails for almost a year....

#my stupid opinions #anon

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everyonewasabird · 3 years

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Brickclub 1.5.10 ‘Results of the success’

What do you SAY about this chapter?

Things that strike me:

- Just, the way the Thenardiers work. Whatever scale they’re operating on, they want more. The current magnitude is on the order of several francs a month and the manual labor of a small child. If Fantine were a millionaire and Cosette were a capable adult, the Thenardiers would just open their mouths wider and still gobble up more than Fantine and Cosette were capable of giving them. As Thenardier says, he could eat the world. Eventually, Marius will give him enough money to get him to leave, and he’ll go use it to consume more people more entirely.

- How much Fantine comes to resemble Valjean. She has the same rage and bravado now that he did. She expresses it in laughter, and he almost never laughed, but I feel like that has to do with how much her life and livelihood as a woman depend on appearances. Valjean’s personal appearance and demeanor matters in terms of whether people trust him or will let him stay at their inn, etc., but it’s never been commodified the way Fantine’s hair and teeth and face have been since the beginning. Her laughter feels like a performance, because a sullen man may be frightening, but a sullen woman looks beaten. And neither of them is willing to look beaten.

- Until later. There’s a point in this chapter where Fantine’s care for appearances goes away.

- With Valjean’s time in the bagne, there’s a feeling that he grows more and more armor but that he could continue on that way for a long time. If the bishop hadn’t changed him, his life would be miserable and probably criminal, and he would almost certainly have been caught again and sent back to the bagne--but he would have lived. Valjean’s fall involved hardening parts of himself, but not in selling off parts of himself.

Fantine doesn’t get to keep her dignity, or the parts of her body, or the rights over who accesses her body. The world engages with Valjean in terms of what he does, be that labor or theft or good works. As long as Fantine stays in the category of “honest woman,” the world will engage with her in that capacity, but as soon as she steps outside it, she’s only a collection of commodities to be sold off piecemeal.

- The misérable status of a convict muddies that line--once he has a yellow passport, the world is very much concerned with what he is, and a prisoner is a commodity without rights whose labor can simply be taken, much like Cosette. But even then, as a man he can’t be divvied up into component parts.

- But Fantine keeps one thing that Valjean loses. She never stops adoring the kid she did it for.

- This chapter shows the similarity through Fantine competing directly with prison labor. The prisoners can be made to work for less, so she loses out. It looks like she’s competing with the prisoners when really these are just different avenues the powerful have for exploiting people. The capitalists will eat and eat and eat whatever they can get out of people.

- I’ve been experimenting lately with the idea that Thenardier is capitalism. Is this a thing? That would make the two villains of this story the police state and capitalism respectively. I think I like it.

- Like I said about Valjean’s prison wages, the feeling that Fantine’s labor is cheap and expendable and doesn’t matter is an illusion cast by the people who are profiting off it. These poor workers are the horses before the carts: they feel powerless and beaten-down, but when they fall, the entire street stops. None of them have, as of yet, learned to band together and use that power on purpose.

- I’m struck by how absolutely fucking indomitable Fantine is. You place an impossible task in front of her? She does it. Even if she has to strip off every conceivable part of herself piece by piece to do it. “Where did you get these louis d’or?” Marguerite asks in astonishment.

“I got them,” Fantine says.

#brickclub #lm 1.5.10

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meta-squash · 3 years

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Brick Club 1.3.7 “The Wisdom Of Tholomyes”

Oh my god there’s so much in this chapter, I’m so sorry for how long this is.

It’s probably just me, but this speech, or at least the beginning of it, reminds me of the way Shakespeare tends to write characters that are obnoxiously lecturing other characters (Polonius in particular comes to mind for some reason).

Tholomyes drunkenly stands up and tells everyone to slow down, to both eat and talk more slowly. But two chapters ago Hugo said they had finished eating. Go home, Tholomyes, you’re drunk. Tholomyes compares Talleyrand and Grimod de la Reyniere, one was a connoisseur of wine, the other of food, which is probably a “these people say savor your meals” statement.

Everyone else wants him to shut the hell up so they can continue their conversations and/or singing, which is funny. Also, I see so much Grantaire in this entire speech. Only, instead of a “down with your claws” remark going ignored, Tholomyes’ “You are it’s marquis” pun makes everyone quiet down, which he obviously takes as an invitation.

Tholomyes first segment about puns absolutely sounds like Hugo being extremely self-aware. He has an unlikable character criticize and disparage the excess use of puns, fully knowing the amount of puns that will be used later on in this book. Hugo mentions irony in conjunction with Tholomyes in 1.3.2, here he’s really displaying it.

According to wikipedia, the Jesus/Peter pun is due to a Greek translation, where “Peter” is translated to “Petros” and then the same sentence also contains the word “petra” (rock), so that Jesus is saying “Thou art Rock, and upon this rock will I build my church.” The Polynices pun is from Aeschylus’ play Seven Against Thebes. At one point the play’s chorus describes Polynices and his brother Eteocles as being “true to each other’s names, both truly lamentable (eteokleitoi) and both full of strife (polyneikeis).” The Cleopatra pun is basically Cleopatra mocking Antony, who is upset that Caesar is late to battle, calling Caesar’s tardiness harmless. The “prudence of Amphiaraus” is also a pun, since Amphiaraus was a Greek king and seer who continuously did things knowing they’d go wrong or fail. The “baldness of Caesar” pun is a play on words because “Caesar” means “hairy child” and Caesar himself was balding.

I’ve just realized that the “Est modus in rebus” (Moderation in all things) line is what reminds me of Polonius. I can’t help but think of his “neither a borrower nor a lender be” lecture towards Laertes.

Tholomyes suddenly gets a little more ominous and foreshadowing as he talks about how love should not be overloaded, and there must be restraint and ends to things, even love. “The wise man is he who knows when and how to stop. Have some confidence in me.” I love this for a few reasons. First, Tholomyes is pretty drunk here, and he’s the one calling for moderation in all things. Ha! Second, it’s funny that he’s telling people to have confidence in him when they all seem to want him to be quiet. Third, he’s got an interesting way of interpreting “how to stop.”

Which is actually a line that’s interesting to me. Previously I kind of thought this cruel prank was a thing he’d done to women many times before, with other friends. Except this “the wise man is he who knows when and how to stop” line sounds like he’s talking about trying to extricate himself from this whole situation. Maybe he’s never knocked up a grisette before; certainly he’s probably never had one actually fall in love with him before, since usually everyone’s on the same page. He wants out of this relationship that’s more than he signed up for. It’s definitely time to stop, and this is apparently the only “how” he knows?

Sylla was the first republican to seize power via military coup; but at the end of his dictatorship, when he had imposed all the changes he wanted, he abdicated and retired. I don’t understand the Origenes line, but I think that’s due to my cluelessness when it comes to the way different areas of Christianity work.

He pronounces “friends” in a few different languages, which I can only imagine as being very slurred and with sloppy, ridiculous gestures. He waxes poetic (or something) about how to have no passion or love. I can’t tell if he’s talking about having an affair without falling into marriage/love, or feeling nothing at all. In the next lines he certainly seems annoyed with himself for getting mixed up with someone who has actual feelings for him.

Here’s more shades of Grantaire. Tholomyes has this whole rant on each country’s measurements; Grantaire has his rant on each country’s popular trade. But Grantaire’s is a political and social critique, while I think Tholomyes’ might be a dick joke?

Tholomyes isn’t even subtle about his affair with Favourite here. He straight up insults Zephine and calls her ugly, I think he insinuates that Dahlia is boring, and then he basically dismisses Fantine and calls her an airhead. And in the middle of this he sings Favourite’s praises. He specifically calls attention to her mouth. Also, he refers to her with “tu” instead of “vous,” the first time he uses the familiar with her, at least with company around.

God, he talks about Fantine like she’s not even there. What an asshole. I hate him so much. He talks about Fantine like she’s not there, and she doesn’t do or say anything to contradict that. Again, she gets no dialogue in this chapter. Where is Fantine at, mentally, in all of this? Because Hugo does this a lot: he’ll describe someone or something in idealized tones, and then a chapter or two later a character will have dialogue describing that same person/thing, but in much more down-to-earth ways. Fantine and Cosette are both described in conjunction with birds. Only, Cosette is a bird, and Fantine is staring off into space, imagining birds. Honestly if we’re still going about this with the headcanon that she’s on the spectrum (which I am, I love it), this sounds like an overstimulation shut down. Hell, my adhd brain does the same thing when I’m in places that are really loud and busy and there’s not really a point of focus. If everyone around them is yelling and laughing and singing as much as they are, then it’s probably horrific in this pub.

Tholomyes is so blatant here about his intentions around Fantine. “I am an illusion--but she doesn’t not even hear me...” I think this piece of dialogue is twofold. Tholomyes is again hinting at his plan to leave, to end everything; his relationship with Fantine is so fake as to be an illusion. But it’s also here to describe Fantine, who is dreaming up a relationship that doesn’t exist. I kind of get the feeling that Tholomyes hasn’t been very nice to Fantine for a while, hasn’t been trying to keep up the pretense of this relationship, and yet Fantine is so wrapped up in her own personal illusion that they’re in love that she is unable to notice or see his assholery.

Yet another shade of Grantaire here. This monologue describing Fantine made me think of R’s “Chowder is ugly” monologue. Tholomyes describes Fantine as the “daughter of chimeras” while Chowder is a chimera. They both get classical allusions: Fantine is a nymph, while Chowder is a gargoyle instead of Galatea. Chowder gets hair like lead, while Fantine is a jewel. Both men are drunkenly harassing women and being real obnoxious about it. The difference is a) Chowder is probably used to it as waitress and Grantaire doesn’t seem to mean genuine harm and b) Tholomyes is “in a relationship” with Fantine, and that’s no way to treat someone, and it definitely sounds like he’s mocking her in front of her face to other people.

The “too much sugar” rant goes with the marriage one, I think. According to Tholomyes, women are too obsessed with the fairytale-type nice things, spend too much time imagining sweetness like a wedding. I’m not sure how popular trash romances were at the time (I know Hugo mentions that Mme. Thenardier reads them) but I wonder if he’s referencing reading those as well.

“Make conquests. Rob each other without remorse of your beloved. Crisscross and double cross. In love, there are no friends. Wherever there’s a pretty woman, there’s open warfare....” You know what, I think Tholomyes actually really wants Fantine to figure it out. At first I thought he was being an annoying asshole and acting like this because he knows she doesn’t get it so he doesn’t care. But I actually think he wants to see her put it together. He’s still talking in metaphors and references, but I think he wants Fantine to realize that he’s cheating, that he doesn’t love her back and this is just a fling. He wants her to be on the same level as everyone else. I don’t know if he wants it so that there’s a better chance of them getting away without consequences, or if he’s a cruel bastard (he is) who wants to watch her world collapse. He’s been saying it louder and louder and more and more obviously as the speech goes on. But as he says just a paragraph before, Fantine just doesn’t get it. Either she truly doesn’t notice, or she refuses to see. He describes her as so distant here, I think she truly doesn’t notice or get it.

This is also a bunch of references to women who were historically raped. He basically seems to be saying that when you refuse to settle down, you get the “benefit” of being the enemy and taking other people’s partners. Gross. Hugo really knows how to write a slimy, unlikable asshole. And even his friends seem to think he’s going to far, because they tell him to stop talking, and when it seems like he’s going to start up again, they sing some annoying rhyming song. Why they thought that would shut him up, I don’t know.

He really does spend this whole speech dropping hints. “Let’s finish our course of study with folly and food” sounds like he’s talking about messing around with the women, but also definitely sounds like a hidden “ooh, you’re about to get tricked and feel so stupid.”

He spouts off a bunch more springtime allusions (comparing nightingales to the opera singer Jean Elleviou, Jardin du Luxembourg, pastorals about various upper-class streets, etc.) The pampas line is interesting. Pampas are big open fertile lowlands in South America, as compared to the covered arcades of the Odeon theatre. Again I think this is a twofold joke: on the one hand, literally the Pampas is a place Tholomyes could go and become a landowner and be a rich independent colonizer, but he feels he does perfectly fine shmoozing at the the theatre in Paris. Less literally, this could also be a sex joke, similar to Grantaire’s “if only I wanted to,” only worse. Basically he’s saying “look at all these girls I could go fuck in other places, but I get enough tail in the theatres of Paris.” Gross.

He then kisses Favourite “by mistake.” I think at this point he knows Fantine is never going to get it. But Favourite is clearly in on the joke. He doesn’t even care anymore, he’ll cheat on Fantine in front of all of them because they all kind of know except Fantine--who isn’t going to figure it out, obviously.

#les miserables #les miserables meta #brickclub #lm 1.3.7 #les mis #les mis meta #y'all have no idea how much fun i have researching the references #even though sometimes i don't know enough about french history to really dig deep

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semper-legens · 4 years

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68a. Les Misérables: Fantine, by Victor Hugo

Owned?: Yes Page count: 301 (for this first bit) My summary: Sentenced to almost 20 years in jail for a minor crime, Jean Valjean leaves prison hating the world. But an unexpected act of kindness sets him on the road to fulfilment, and by fortune and chance he becomes mayor of a town, with a good reputation. Meanwhile, young single mother Fantine is struggling to keep herself and her child alive in a world that hates people of her background. My rating: 4/5 My commentary:

Les Mis! The longest book I’ve ever read, I think. I recently went down a rabbithole of caring about Les Mis the musical again, and this came with the realisation that it’s been a while since I read this hefty tome. Well, why not. But to break it up a bit, I’m going to be talking about it section by section, so as to not attempt to summarise a 1400 page book in one single post.

Look down, look down, don’t look ‘em in the eye...

So first thing’s first, let’s talk prose. (I’m reading the Wilbour translation, for clarity.) Hugo was obviously writing in the 1860s, and literature from this period tends to be a lot wordier than what we’re used to here in 2020, and Hugo in particular is known for his constant digressions. Literally sentence three of this novel begins ‘Although it in no matter concerns, even in the remotest degree, what we have to relate...’ Iconic! Love that!

That said, this first section sticks to the point of the narrative pretty closely! It’s not until the next that we have the first of the Big Digressions (fucking Waterloo) and, while detailed and wordy, I was engaged with all of this. One could argue that we don’t need to know the Bishop’s entire life story, I suppose, but one of the merits of this style of writing for me is the amount of detail that is within these words - we get a pretty comprehensive look at these characters, where they come from, what their situation’s like, who they are as people, and that’s important because, above all, Les Mis is a story about people.

Let’s talk about major characters. Obviously, Valjean is the biggest focus - I forgot how comparatively late he shows up, and the state he’s in! We don’t really get to see inside Valjean’s head until he becomes the Mayor, so it’s interesting to see this early Valjean, so full of hate, seemingly a step removed from the world, acting on instinct without thinking. Here, we see him at his worst. I noticed a few things that would come back later, like the fact that he learned how to read to spite the world; a skill he will use later out of love, to teach young Cosette. I also appreciated the difference in his language from when he’s a travelling convict to when he’s the mayor. He seems a lot more refined, better put together later. Early Valjean is a mess, poor guy.

I love Jean Valjean. I especially love the book’s version of him, where he is less sanctified and allowed to be more human. (More on that later.) But the best moment for me is when he chooses to go and reveal his identity to save one man, even though that would condemn him, ruin his town, and kill Fantine. On the road, he’s given so many chances to turn back, to give up, but so long as there’s a chance he could save this man, he keeps going. He doesn’t want to. He wants to run, and hide, and be safe, but he can’t willingly subject another person to the torment he went through, and so he perseveres. And his fears come to pass! He can’t get Cosette in time to help Fantine, the town goes to ruin. But he saved one man, just as he was once saved.

And, speaking of Fantine, let’s speak of her! I think she’s a really interesting character for the 1800s. Here’s a lower-class working woman with a child out of wedlock. Other writers would condemn her for her ‘moral failing’, but Hugo is sympathetic. Her story is a tragedy, not because of anything she did, but because she is a person who society failed, constantly. Some people help her, more people hinder her, and in the end she dies without her child by her side because society tore them apart. This is Hugo taking his readers by the collar and forcing them to look at what they have done to people like her.

It’s not all great though? I dislike how Fantine is presented as physically beautiful and angelic. I get it, it was a Thing of the day, but contrasting, say, how Fantine and Mme. Thénardier are presented is just gross. Fantine is blonde and beautiful and feminine, so we sympathise with her, Mme. Thénardier is red-headed and ugly and unfeminine, so we hate her. So close, and yet so far, Hugo.

One part of the attention to detail the writing has is in the minor characters! I love Sister Simplice, the buildup to the moment where she lies to save Valjean is so heartwrenching. I love the Bishop, though there’s a lot of 1800s French politics going on with him that I don’t understand because I am no French history scholar. We get to see such a complete portrait of him that when it’s offhandedly mentioned that he died, we feel Valjean’s grief, despite him being a minor character.

Next up, Cosette, feat a Lot Of Waterloo and some wacky coffin shenanigans!

#Les Miserables #Victor Hugo #bookblr #book blogging #book blog #4

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mirkwoodshewolf · 5 years

Text

That would be enough; Old!Roger Taylor x reader

*Author’s note*

Alright in honor of yet another Queen member’s bday this month one week after his friend and brother Brian, HAPPY 70TH BIRTHDAY ROGER MEDDOWS TAYLOR!! From all of us to you we hope you have a great birthday and always keep rocking and being your awesome self. Now this is my first time ever writing a current Roger Taylor fanfic so I hope I get it right and I hope you all enjoy this. So not really any warnings except swearing and a tad bit of angst but it’s all FLUFFY FEELS in the end. Enjoy my lovelies :)

Queen Taglist:

@psychosupernatural

@plethora-of-things

@ixchel-9275

@geek-and-proud

@queendeakyy

@waddles03

@coolcxt

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It all began in the winter 2016 when we were asked to perform live at the Grammy’s. By we; I mean Adam Lambert, myself and Brian. We were on the stage to wait the arrival of another artist we would be performing along with for the award show. Apparently she’s a big name in America specifically on the Broadway spectrum. I would know because my daughters can’t stop listening to her recent musical she was in, “Hamilton.”

“Brian, Roger, Adam.” The producer called out to us. There walking beside him was a beautiful young woman around her early 30’s with (h/l) (h/c). But what struck out to me was her eyes, she had the same blue eyes as I did, in fact she almost resembled me to a degree. Hell looking back on all the times I dressed in drag, it was like looking at an exact copy. “I’d like the three of you to meet the performer you’ll be singing (y/n) (l/n).”

“Hello, I know you lot get told this a lot but—you guys were such an inspiration to me growing up. And Adam, you’ve got a range that I’ve never heard on any performer.”

“And what of you? Mrs. Eliza?” Adam vocalized which made her giggle.

“Hamilton fan I assume?”

“Girl are you kidding me? The second I heard about the album from a friend of mine I couldn’t stop listening to it. Your tickets are nearly impossible to get now.”

“I know. I never expected it to boom as it did. But as soon as Lin called me about the script and wanted me to be a part of it, I knew I had to get involved. It’s unlike any musical I’ve been in before.”

“I’ll admit my youngest daughter loves the show and couldn’t stop talking about it when we were in New York.” Brian spoke up.

“Oh wow I’m honored Mr. May.”

“Oh love, Mr. May was my father, please call me Brian.” The two shook hands with each other and she then turned to me. God she looked so familiar not just with my looks but she also had the looks of someone I once knew a long time ago.

“And the famous Roger Taylor. I must say it’s because of you I sought out the drums in my middle and high school band.” I snapped out of my daze and we shook hands with each other and said.

“I bet you were probably the best drummer there ever was.”

“Indeed, got my band to win Districts every year.” She said. “Would’ve gotten state champion my junior year of high school but unfortunately a few of the kids in the strings had to screw up the notes.”

“Been there before, mostly with this guy’s strings breaking.” I gestured toward Brian.

“Oh well forgive me but at least I wasn’t the one who forgot the lyrics to my own song.”

“I thought I told you to never mention that again!” I hissed leaving Adam and (y/n) to laugh.

“So shall we run some sound checks for a bit? I was told we’ll be performing after Pink.” (y/n) stated and we were all in agreement.

Throughout the day I couldn’t stop thinking about (y/n). Just the way she presented herself on stage just reminded me of someone but I just couldn’t figure it out. After rehearsal one before the Grammys would begin in just 4 days, I sat in my dressing room when Brian came in and asked me.

“What is it mate? You’ve been out of sorts all day, what’s going on?”

“Brian, did…..did (y/n) look familiar to you?”

“You mean besides the fact she’s a Broadway star?”

“Brian I’m serious there was just something about her that just…..seemed familiar. Like I’ve seen her before.”

“You’re probably just overthinking this Rog, come and have a drink with Adam, (y/n) and I tonight. Adam’s buying this time after all.” I nodded and followed Brian to meet (y/n) and Adam outside.

We managed to find a nice restaurant pub nearby and as we ate a well earned late supper, Brian asked (y/n).

“So (y/n). How did you get involved with Broadway?”

“Well….it’s because of my mom. She was in Broadway, hell it’s been a tradition in my mom’s family. She was just a dancer but she was one of the best dancers according to critics.” At hearing that I choked on my water.

“Roger!” Adam exclaimed.

“Roger you okay?” asked (y/n).

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine just….went down the wrong pipe. Excuse me for a minute.” I raced out of the pub and into the fresh air as suddenly it occurred to me.

“Roger, what’s going on with you?” I heard Brian say.

“It all makes sense now. I should’ve remembered the last name, how could I be such an idiot?” I muttered to myself.

“Roger what are you talking about?”

“Do you remember when we did our last American tour at the start of the 80’s. And we performed at Madison Square Garden.”

“Yeah, where are you going with this?”

“Do you remember that Broadway show we saw? Umm West Side story I think it was? And I actually managed to hook up with one of the dancers.”

“Yeah (m/n). I remember you were crazy about her before you met Dominque.”

“I—I think the reason why she broke up with me was—because she was pregnant.”

“Hold on Rog. This is a serious allegation. You don’t think that (y/n) is…..”

“At first I didn’t get it but the more I look at her the more I see it. Brian she has my eyes, she’s almost like a reflection of me but with her mum’s hair. Brian I—I really think she’s my daughter.”

“So what are you going to do? You know you can’t just spring this up on (y/n) like this so suddenly.”

“I know, I know. I’ll….I’ll try to get alone with her and somehow slowly ease her into a conversation about her mum. Maybe I could even try to get reconnected with (m/n). To at least tell me why she never told me she was pregnant.”

“Now just be sure if you do get her contact information you don’t go off yelling at her. I’m sure she had her reasons…..”

“Reasons my arse Brian she kept my daughter away from me! I never even knew my first child would be a girl and I’ve missed so much….”

“Umm guys?” We turned to see (y/n) standing there. “Is everything okay?”

“No, I mean yes. Everything is fine love.” I assured her. Her eyes gave off that same look her mum always made when she was concerned for my wellbeing. God she really was my daughter.

“Okay, it’s just that you both were gone for a while and I got a little worried.”

“Don’t worry love, we’ll be just another minute.” She nodded before heading back inside.

“Just think about it carefully Rog. She seems to not know herself, so just proceed with caution.” Brian warned me one last time.

A couple days went by and it was just one more day till the Grammys. I was now standing before (y/n)’s dressing room finally seeing a chance to talk to her in private. I slowly reached my hand for the door and softly knocked on it and her voice rang out.

‘If it’s Debbie from the article fuck off I’m not giving you any dirt on Lin!’ God she really is my daughter.

“No love it’s Roger.” The door opened and she peeked out and said.

“Oh god I am so sorry about that Rog. I didn’t mean to do that I—”

“I get it, if you thought the press were bad today you should’ve seen them back in my day. God they literally camped outside your houses at the time.”

“Jesus, oh where are my manners please come in.” she said as she fully opened the door and allowed me inside. I walked in and she closed her door and she said. “Can I get you anything? I’ve got water, champagne, some wine, beer.”

“I wouldn’t mind a beer.” I answered.

“Coming right up.” She went over to the minifridge and pulled out two bottles of beer and handed one over to me. “So did you need anything?”

“Oh I just—see I feel like we haven’t really gotten the chance to really connect like you and Adam have, hell you even managed to spend some time with Brian and not get bored with him.” We both chuckled and I continued, “Only if you wish to. I don’t want to make you comfortable.”

“No, no it’s fine. I mean truthfully the reason why I never got to talk with you much is because…..well I’ve always been starstruck with you.”

“Me?”

“Yeah I know. All my friends had told me that out of every Queen member they’d be starstruck to meet it’d be Freddie. God rest his soul. I really am sorry about his death. I was just 11 years old when I heard the news. God I was depressed for weeks on end, couldn’t even listen to his voice without crying.”

“Yeah it—it was hard on all of us. I was actually on my way to see him. And I was just 300 yards away when I got the call….” I stopped as I felt tears fill my eyes. Jesus retelling that day always makes me emotional.

“But he’d be proud of what you guys have done for the band. As well as everything else you all have accomplished. Even Deacy.” She said as she reached out and took my hand. I smiled and placed my hand on top of hers. It was then a picture caught my eye that stood on her makeup stand.

She turned around and smiled softly and said.

“That’s a picture of my mom and I at my first Broadway leading role. It was in Les Misérables when I got Fantine.” She reached over and grabbed it and handed it to me. I took the picture in my hand and everything I had thought was officially confirmed.

There standing next to (y/n) was indeed (m/n) (l/n), the Broadway dancer I once fell in love with during our tour of America. She looked older than I last saw her, her hair was now a pixie cut short but she was still as beautiful as I remembered her being.

“Do you—still see her? I know life of a performer is tough and time constricting.” I asked her.

“I—visit her whenever I can. Bring her, her favorite flowers.”

“White lilies with baby’s breath.” We both said at the same time. Oh bugger. “How did you know that?” she asked.

“She—she uhh….” C’mon Roger say something clever you old bastard! “She just looks like the type of woman who would love those flowers.” Oh please buy it please buy it please buy it.

“Okay.” She said a bit wearily. “Well anyways I try to see her whenever I can. But it just gets harder and harder to visit her each time.” Huh? What did she mean by that? Is she sick? Was she abusive to her? Oh please tell me it wasn’t the latter.

“Whys that? If you don’t mind me asking?” I asked her. She took back the picture from me and said.

“Well I’d like to clarify where she’s staying isn’t exactly a sunshiny place. It’s always hard to visit a cemetery.” What? Oh no.

“I’m so sorry dear. You don’t have to tell me the reason why…”

“No I feel like I should. After all you’re taking the time to getting to know me, might as well learn the whole package. Well this past year hasn’t been easy on me and my family. My mom was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer. We—thought we’d have more time, but just as I was about to tell her that I got the leading lady role in Hamilton…..” she trailed off and clasped her hand over her mouth.

I did the only thing that I could think of. I wrapped my arms around her and lay her head on my shoulder.

“Tell me…..how do you make the pain go away?” she whimpered out. I squeezed her shoulder and rested my head on top of hers and answered her as honestly as I could.

“It’s hard, and it may never go away. But something that helps me cope with Freddie’s death is that I try to think of all the great times I had with him. I’ve been around the old bastard so much I know exactly what he would say to me if I allowed my grief to overcome me. He’d tell me; ‘oh stiff up a lip blondie! Stop feeling sorry for yourself, you tried your best and I know what you did. Now stop your whimpering you big softie’.” I soon heard a small laugh coming from her.

It was small but I at least got a smile from her, her mother’s smile just as I remembered it.

“Your mum knew you’d get the part, I’ll bet she had no doubt that you would. So I have a feeling she’d tell you to keep performing and don’t let her death stop you from your dreams.” I rubbed her arm comfortingly and kept her in my arms for a little bit longer until she finally calmed down. She separated herself from me and said.

“God I probably look like a mess right now.”

“Not at all.” I replied as I wiped a few tears stains from her face.

“Thank you Roger, I—haven’t been able to cry like that since the funeral.”

“I’m always here whenever you need to vent your grief. It’s not healthy to keep it inside, especially for a long period of time.” I said as I rubbed her back. She nodded and that’s when a knock was heard.

“Ms. (L/n), it’s time for final curtain rehearsal and discuss when you and Queen and Adam are going to perform.” One of the volunteers spoke out from the other side.

“Be right out just give me a few minutes.” She called back. “Well I better clean myself up.”

“I’ll leave you to it then.” I stood up and prepared to leave her dressing room when I was suddenly hugged from behind.

“Thank you again Roger, really. You don’t know how much it meant to me.” I heard her voice say into my shoulder. I smiled both with happiness but also grief as I turned and hugged her back.

“Anytime darling. Whenever you need to talk, I’ll be there.” She nodded then headed back over to her makeup chair and began cleaning herself up. I stood there and watched her for a few minutes, just seeing her mother in her and remembering all the times I spent backstage on her shows seeing her get ready.

Soon the big day arrived, the Grammy awards 2016. Brian, Adam and I were in our car being driven to the award show where we would walk the carpet and do a couple of interviews. Once we arrived, the crowd was already huge.

Hundreds of people screaming and cheering, hundreds of performers and nominees were strutting around getting their pictures taken. God what Fred would do if he were here right now, probably photobomb a few singers just to be cheeky. After getting a few pictures in, we were stopped for an interview.

Much of it I barely paid attention to, that was until a question regarding to (y/n) came up.

“So singing along with famed Broadway singer of the American musical Hamilton, what was that like for you? Is working with a Broadway star different than other singers?”

“Oh (y/n) was a huge joy to work with. She and I are practically best friends right now and promised me tickets to the next show.” Adam laughed. “No, no she’s an amazing performer and it’s no different than working with any other singer. Less drama of course but no she was wonderful to rehearse with and I can’t wait to perform live with her.”

“And Brian, Roger? Did you guys feel out of sorts working with her? Like did she feel lower to you cause she’s just a Broadway performer?” What kind of question is that?

“No, not at all. As Adam said she was wonderful to get to know. She’s definitely got some surprises in store for us tonight as she sings with us.” Brian answered.

“Yeah Broadway performers are no different than any other singer. It’s all about just mixing in the differences each performer’s got and she was a wonderful mix into this performance.” I replied without wanting to ring the interviewers neck speaking so lowly about Broadway performers.

After the interview I then saw (y/n) talking with a female interviewer. Wow and did she look beautiful. She wore a spaghetti strapped royal blue backless dress which had a small train at the bottom of it. Thinking it wouldn’t hurt to just go up and say a quick hello (after all I’ve seen actors and singers interrupt artists for a quick hello or greeting all the time).

“So yeah at first I was really nervous but then—Oh my god! Hey Rog!” She hugged me and I hugged her back saying.

“Hello love.”

“Also joining us is Queen’s drummer Roger Taylor, Roger how are you feeling?” the interviewer asked.

“Tired.” I answered which made us all laugh. “But also honored to be here, this is our first Grammy performance in like 20-30 years so it’ll be interesting to see how much has changed.”

“Don’t worry not a lot. I was just asking (y/n) how she felt singing with Queen and Adam.”

“Well I can tell you it’s been an honor to perform alongside a talented young woman like (y/n). She’s been an absolute pleasure to sing with and I can see why so many people love her in Hamilton.”

“Oh Rog stop you’re making me blush.” (y/n) groaned out as she tried to hide her face.

“Well I won’t keep you guys any longer. Good luck tonight and we’ll all be cheering for you.”

“Thank you.”

“Thank you so much.”

“No thank you. Cheers you two.”

“Bye.” We both walked away and as the press continued to holler and command more photos I said to (y/n).

“You look beautiful love.”

“Thanks, and you pretty handsome yourself.”

“Once a long time ago.” I stated.

“Hey now don’t say that.” She said as she playfully shoved me.

“Well then, shall I have the honor of escorting you inside milady?”

“Why of course you may.” She said in probably the most exaggerated British accent I had ever heard but I let it slide. I hooked my arm out and she wrapped her arm around mine and the two of us walked inside.

“Well I’ll see you soon up on stage. My assigned seating is with my cast members since Hamilton is up for best musical album.” She said.

“Will do love, and good luck. I have a feeling you guys will win so many awards.” I told her. She kissed my cheek and then headed out to meet with some of her cast members who were already there. Seeing her with all her friends made me feel warm hearted.

“So you still gonna tell her after the show?” I heard Brian’s voice say.

“If I don’t I may never get a second chance. But there’s also something in me to not tell her. I mean what will she think of me when I do tell her?”

“I wish I could tell you what to do Rog, but only you can make that call. But whatever you choose, just make sure you don’t regret it.” It was decided.

As the show went on, (y/n)’s first performance would be with her cast members singing the opening number of Hamilton. And hearing the song with my own ears, I was mesmerized, especially when she got to stand center stage singing the story of Alexander and his mother’s life after the father split.

Much like Queen, every voice blended so well together. Even though there were so many of them, I could easily pick out each voice individually and hear it and their harmonizing just sent shivers up my spine. By the end of the song, the audience roared in applause that I only heard in our concerts, but of course I was probably the loudest cheering for my girl.

As the show continued, we were now preparing to do our number. I saw (y/n) take her spot by the piano and I walked up to her and said.

“You’re gonna do great love.”

“I know, I’m just nervous that I’ll mess up a key or note and end up messing you all up.”

“Don’t worry love, you’ll do great. I have faith in you.” I assured her as I placed my hand on her shoulder giving her a gentle squeeze.

“How do you always know what to say Roger Taylor?” she asked as he placed her hand on top of mine.

“It comes with being old.” I teased which made us laugh.

“Okay boys, Miss, we’ll be live in 2 minutes.” Said one of the producers.

“Well better get back up there.” I gestured towards my drum set. She nodded and I walked away from the piano and sat down at my drum set twirling my drumstick in hand getting my head in the game.

“Welcome back to the 58th Grammy awards. And now for the long awaited performance of a lifetime. These guys have been kick butt in the music industry for years selling off millions of records since the 1970’s and joining them the runner up of American Idol as well as the leading lady of Hamilton. Here is (Y/n) (l/n), Queen and Adam Lambert.” The audience cheered and soon (y/n) began playing the piano as Adam began to sing “Don’t stop me now”.

Adam took the first verse of the song and as the song picked up Brian and I joined in with (y/n)’s piano playing as well as the bass player who was up on stage with us. Lights flashing and Adam’s vice echoing through the speakers as he led the crowd in his own fashion.

By the second verse, the spotlight came onto (y/n) who kept playing the piano and I could hear the cast of Hamilton cheering for her. Along with that soft soprano voice she used for her role as Eliza, for this song she unleashed such a raw, rock and roll alto range. It was almost like if you could convert my rang into a woman’s voice, that’s (y/n).

Also people suspect that most Broadway stars just sing and dance, well not this girl. She’s told us that her mum taught her how to do the piano and guitar so she truly is a triple threat.

Along with playing and singing backup vocals on my cue, I couldn’t help but watch my daughter perform as at the instrumental break, her and Adam now stood side by side together and side stepped with each other like they practiced during rehearsal, she was a born performer. Whether Broadway or Rockstar, she was mine and her mother mixed together.

And that was enough for me to love her even more.

By the end of our piece, the audience was in a stadium sized cheer as we all came together at center stage, (y/n) standing between Adam and I as we waved of saluted to the audience in thanks.

More awards were given and soon it came time for award for ‘Best Musical theater album.’ An announcer read up all the musicals up for the award; Hamilton, An American in Paris, Fun Home, The King and I, and Something Rotten!

“And the winner of the best musical album goes to…..” all was silent and even I was tensed up with anxiety as I just wanted to race up there and rip the envelope myself. I could do it much faster than this guy. Finally it was open and he smiled and exclaimed into the microphone, “HAMILTON!!” I cheered out as loud as I could and whistled just as loud.

I could see (y/n) hugging her cast mates and everyone involved with the musical raced down the runway and up the stage as the audience roared with applause as the score of the opening number was playing and on the screen showed some shots of some of the actors in costume, including (y/n).

I wiped away the tears in my eyes as I kept cheering for (y/n). She may think that no parent was there to see her get this award, but in truth she did have a father who was so proud of her and I just know (m/n) is cheering and crying in heaven.

Once the award show was finally over, I could see the entire cast of Hamilton all outside in a group huddle cheering and crying out as some of them including my girl holding a Grammy trophy. Everyone was talking over each other in pure excitement that was until Lin’s proclaimed.

“Okay Hamilton cast, first round of drinks are on me tonight!” Everyone cheered and they all walked on ahead, that was until (y/n) spotted me. She smiled and ran towards me and tackled me in a hug.

“Ohh I’m so happy you got to see it happen!” she exclaimed.

“Congratulations love. You and your castmates deserved to win.”

“Why don’t you come celebrate with us?” she offered.

“Oh no, no. You wouldn’t want an old grizzly man to cramp your style dear.”

“Hey what did I just tell you earlier?” she mocked.

“Besides; Brian, Adam and I need to be on the next flight out of here back to London to start planning our European tour.”

“So—this is it?” she asked sadly. “Wow it…..it feels like this has all ended too fast.”

“I know what you mean. But you still got so many more awards to win love, you should be focused and celebrating every chance you get. Especially since rumor has it you’re up for a Tony award.”

“Yeah, never did I think I would ever get nominated for one. It’ll be my first nomination.”

“And I pray that they’ll call you Tony Award winner (y/n) (l/n) after you win it.” I said as I cupped her face and stroked her cheek.

“Thank you for everything Roger. And it was an honor to play alongside you. Give my love to Brian and Adam for me will you?”

“Of course.” We both kissed each other’s cheek and she went on ahead.

“Oh hey, next time you three are in New York, come see us. I can have security let you in backstage before and after the show!”

“We’ll take you up on that offer.” C’mon you old fool she’s walking away. You’ve got to tell her now. Do it! Do it! “(Y/n) wait!” she stopped and turned back around.

“Yeah Rog?” I walked up towards her and nervously stammered out.

“I—I uhh….Can we…..can we talk for a minute before you go? Privately.”

“Sure Rog, let me just text Leslie since he’s my ride to the bar.” She quickly sent a text to Leslie and once she saw the reply she said, “Okay he’s gonna wait for me in the parking garage and let the others know to wait for us. Where do you want to talk?”

“Mind if we go to my dressing room?” she shook her head and we both walked along to where Brian and I shared a dressing room before the performance. Once we got in she immediately set herself down on the couch and took off her heels.

“God even though I wear heels every night on stage, I still don’t get used to stilettos. Whoever invented those heel brands must’ve had no skin whatsoever.”

“Yeah, they are a real pain in the arse.” I told her.

“So what do you want to talk about Roger?” she asked.

Here it was, the moment of truth. It was either say it now or let it blow up in your face.

“You—you remember how I knew your mother’s favorite flowers?”

“Yeah.” She said wearily.

“Well, I was completely honest with you (y/n).”

“What are you talking about?”

“I—I knew your mother.” I saw her eyes slowly widen as she just stared at me.

“You knew my mother?”

“Yes. I first met her back in 1980. It was after a Madison Square Garden show, Freddie, John and I went to go see West Side Story at the time, and when I saw your mother on stage…..it was like I was looking at a true dancer on the stage. She outshined everyone.”

“Yeah she was known for that.” (y/n) reminisced.

“After the show I went up and talked to her. Of course she was feisty but I couldn’t help myself. I was drawn to her, and soon we eventually became friends. Very good friends.”

“But…..if you guys were so close, how come she never spoke to me about you?” I took a deep breath and slowly exhaled and I said.

“I’m sorry I have to tell you this, and you may hate me after I tell you. Maybe even think I’m a horrible person but I swear I didn’t know.”

“Didn’t know what? Roger please you’re scaring me. Just tell me what this is all about?” I looked down at my feet for god knows how long before I finally looked up at her and told her straight up.

“I’m your father.”

All was silent as her face slowly turned from shock to absolute horror.

“At first I didn’t know when we first met. But there was something about you that just seemed familiar. Then the dinner when you said your mum was a Broadway dancer it got me freaked out thinking that it wasn’t possible, but then seeing a picture of your mum it only confirmed everything. I didn’t know she was pregnant I woke up one morning and she was just gone leaving a note telling me she was sorry. I don’t mean to spring this on you at once but I—”

“Stop! Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.” She muttered in haste as she held out her hand.

“(Y/n) I’m sorry I just……”

“Stay away from me.” She sneered.

“(Y/n) please I swear I…..” but she kept interrupting me as I kept trying to explain myself as gently as I could. She kept muttering to herself till suddenly I felt this sharp pain across my face and I found myself down on the ground.

“Just stay away from me! You’re a crazy, senile old man. Just stay away from me or I’ll call the police!” she then raced out of the dressing room, but I could hear the sounds of her crying echoing through the hallway as she ran.

I blew it. Now that all was said and done, I blew it. She knew the truth and seeing her so upset just broke my heart. I didn’t mean to confuse her or make her mad I just—maybe I was being selfish.

It had been about four months since the Grammy’s and ever since I told (y/n) the truth, I just couldn’t think right. Even during rehearsals with Brian and Adam my head just wasn’t in the game as it usually was and they could tell but they didn’t push. Can’t say the same for the managers as well as the touring manager since we needed to prepare for our next upcoming tour.

“Roger?” I heard my wife Sarina call out to me.

“Please love I….I need a moment to myself.”

“Rog, I think you should really come to the living room. Someone came all this way to see you, and it’d be rude to just toss her out into the London streets.” I looked up at her and asked.

“Who is it?” she gestured with her finger to follow her. We walked out of my basement studio and came to the living room to see Tiger Lilly, Rory, and Lola sitting with (y/n).

I couldn’t believe it, all my girls together and talking with each other.

“I—hope I’m not intruding or anything.” (y/n) answered nervously as she fiddled with her fingers.

“No not at all.” I replied.

“Girls why don’t we give them some privacy?” Sarina suggested and soon my three girls left us to chat.

“Didn’t feel the need to tell them quite yet.” She replied softly.

“Although I bet Tiger and Lola would flip knowing that Elizabeth Schuyler is their sister.” She softly smiled and then looked up at me.

“I—I made some calls to my uncle Bobby and aunt Jodie, my mom’s siblings and told them if they knew. And—turns out you weren’t some crazy old man. Apparently when my mom found out she was pregnant with me, she didn’t want to tell you. She claimed that Queen was finally getting the recognition that you guys deserved and she knew you weren’t the type to settle down. She thought you’d leave her or ask her to abort me. So she just decided to pack up her stuff and moved back to the states and never wanted to contact you again.”

“What?” I muttered in shock.

“That’s what my aunt and uncle said. And now that I think back, she always did step out of the room and never spoke when I would play a Queen record or when one of your songs came on the radio. She never said she hated you guys, just—couldn’t listen to your songs. And apparently she knew when it was a song written by you.” I smiled sadly and stated.

“(Y/n) I—I never wanted to confuse or hurt you.”

“I know you didn’t. I shouldn’t have acted like that.”

“No you had every right to act the way you did. I know I would.” I said as I sat in front of her. Hesitantly I reached out and cupped her face in my hands and lifted her head up so that I could look into the blue eyes she inherited from me. “Listen (y/n); I have missed so much in your life. Your first steps, first word, the first show you got casted in, every important thing in your life. And I can understand if you don’t want me to be a part of it now. After all you’ve become successful on your own and have grown into such a beautiful young woman.”

“It was hard believe me.” She choked out.

“But you made it. Look at you now. And your mum would be so proud of you.” I saw tears drip down her face and she nodded.

“It’ll be hard, after all I never knew I had a dad. So I assumed it was just my mom and me, it’ll take some time to get used to having a dad but—will you be a part of my narrative?” I only smiled and quoted her character’s famed quote.

“That would be enough, love.” We immediately held each other. I felt her bury her face into chest and I buried my face into her hair inhaling her scent. I held her as tight as I could and couldn’t stop the tears falling down my face.

God I can’t believe this. I had another baby girl, and at last I finally got the chance to hold her in my arms. My eyes, attitude and looks along with her mother’s as well as her mother’s hair, we made a perfect Broadway angel.

About a week later it was the premiere of the London production of Hamilton. As a first success, the American cast came to kick off the show and then auditions would begin here in London. With the help of (y/n), she gave all of us tickets and the best seats for the show. Not just my family but Brian’s as well as Adam and his parents. And seeing my angel in her element on stage in full costume and makeup, she reminded me of her mother but also had the front lady essence that Fred once had.

But the number that got me the most was the number ‘That would be enough’ when Eliza confirmed to Hamilton of her pregnancy after he was forced to be sent home from the war. The lyrics hit me so hard and the chemistry between my daughter and Lin-Manuel Miranda made me think of me and (m/n).

I also saw how on certain parts of the lyrics especially towards the end of the song, I saw how she would look right at me. The way she evoked raw emotion and even allowed tears to fall down her face just shot some serious feels (at least I think that’s how Lola says people call it now) right in the heart.

I was proud of my Broadway baby, I’m glad that now we can be apart of each other’s lives now. And that was enough.

#bohemian rhapsody #bohemian rhapsody imagines #bohemian rhapsody movie #bohemian rhapsody imagine #bohemian rhapsody x reader #roger taylor #roger taylor imagine #roger taylor x reader #old!roger taylor x reader #roger taylor fluff #current!roger taylor #queen #queen fandom #queen fanfiction #queen fanfic #old!roger taylor #brian may

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daphneblakess · 4 years

Text

happy birthday @yennefarious! (thanks to @apathbacktoyou for the prompt!) (Ao3 link)

“You know, Mercie... I thought about you every day.”

Mercedes looked at where Annette sat by her side, on a bench shaded by a great tree in the courtyard of Garreg Mach. Even after the war, so much around them remained to be done regarding the state of the monastery. Seeing the wreckage after its sacking at the hands of Edelgard’s army had hurt Mercedes when she first returned. She knew it would continue doing so until the day the final stone was set back in place.

Annette’s return, though - it had felt like the beginning of something. A nature of the monastery, as Mercedes knew and loved it, being set right.

“I did too, Annie. You must know that!”

“No! Well, I mean - yeah, I’m sure you must have. It’s just...” Annette’s face scrunched up like it always did when she wasn’t sure what to say. She slumped forward, elbows on her knees as she looked out over the Officer’s Academy. This time next week, it would be swarming with the monastery’s first class of new students in over five years.

“I kept thinking about that last fight we had. Before Edelgard... you know.” Annette still wasn’t looking at her, and by the tone of her voice, it wasn’t a memory she liked bringing up either. “For almost five years, I was in Fhirdiad, terrified the last time we ever properly spoke would have been a misunderstanding.”

“Annie, you mustn’t keep blaming yourself for that!” Mercedes shook her head, reaching an arm around Annette’s shoulder. “The fault was entirely mine. You know I understand that now. I think if this war proved anything, it’s that we’re equally capable of protecting each other.”

Annette laughed. “That’s fair. Remember the battle of Fhirdiad? I would have been done for when that creation of Cornelia’s came for me if you hadn’t rushed in.”

“Or Fort Merceus! I don’t know why the Death Knight hesitated when he saw me, of all people, but you were the one who took him down because of it!”

Annette pumped her fist in the air at the recollection of the victory, but then her face fell again. “I don’t know, Mercie. I’m not sure I’m at a point where I can feel proud of everything I did, even under the professor’s command. I mean, we knew the Death Knight was a bad man, but what about Caspar and Linhardt? They were our friends once, and they were there, too. But Dedue and Ingrid... didn’t spare them.”

Mercedes nodded. “I understand that well. I didn’t like any part of the war. How final it all felt.” She leaned against Annette, just as they had at the end of many a night in their school days. The shorter woman had always fit against her so well. “I was scared too, you know. Retreating to Fhirdiad wasn’t an option for me. I wound up moving between whatever churches needed an extra pair of hands, just counting down the days until the Millennium Festival. We all thought that Dimitri was dead. It was the only real thing I had to hope for - that I might at least be reunited with you.”

It was easier to say this now that the war was over, and they had both made it out the other side. Not as they had been before, but - life had returned to as normal as Mercedes believed it could be for the Blue Lion Royal Guard.

“Yeah,” Annette breathed. “And, now that we are here and alive, Mercie -” She broke away from Mercedes, looking down at her feet. “There is, uh, something I should probably tell you.”

“What on Earth is left?” Mercedes chuckled, unable to help herself at the flush that crept up Annette’s neck. “You’re my best friend, Annie. You always have been, ever since our days at the Royal School of Sorcery. There’s not a secret we could possibly still be keeping from each other!” Annette made a face at that, and Mercedes gasped. “Unless... Annie, have you fallen in love with someone?”

“Gah!” Annette’s face was pinker than any blush could achieve as she jumped up from the bench. “Is it really that obvious?”

“Annette Fantine Dominic! You must tell me everything! Is it Felix? Is it... oh my, is it Dimitri? Has he already confessed?”

“No!” Annette stomped her foot against the ground, then caught herself, biting down on her lip. “It’s...” She took one more deep breath before looking Mercedes in the eyes. “It’s you, Mercie.”

Mercedes paused, the world around her shifting to Annette truly at its center. Annette... was in love with her?

She said, without thinking, the first words that formed in her mind. “Well. This is unexpected.”

“Ugh, I knew it!” Annette groaned, looking like she wanted nothing more than to find the nearest pillow she could scream into. “I didn’t want to say anything before, because there was a war going on, and we all had bigger problems, and even before we had that fight, it was obvious you had a thing for the professor, and -”

“Wait, Annie.” Mercedes reached up and clasped Annette’s hands in her own, rising to stand face-to-face with her. “First of all, I don’t think there’s a single one of us who didn’t have a crush on the professor. I got over mine long before I could tell that she and Dorothea were only a matter of time.”

Annette cautiously laughed. “I guess that’s true. Although, I figured mine was just that I looked up to the professor, and that I wanted her approval - until I realized I felt it for you too. And that what I was feeling didn’t seem like the friendship I have with Ingrid, or even Felix.”

“I agree.” Mercedes smiled as she looked down at the other woman, cupping her face in her hands. “Annie, I... I think I’ve loved you, too. For so long now, that I never even thought to question it. You couldn’t ask me to name the day or time it became that way, but I know so much of my life has been fear and uncertainty. And the only times I haven’t been afraid, haven’t ever questioned if what I’m doing is the right thing, have been when I’m with you. That includes this.”

Mercedes had no ring, no dowry or standing she could promise. Just the sweet kiss that she gently placed on Annette’s lips. Annette shifted to the tips of her toes to better meet her, falling completely into Mercedes’ embrace. When they broke apart only to breathe, Annette still wrapped in Mercedes’ arms, there were tears in her blue eyes.

“I’ve spent enough time apart from you, Mercie. We fought so hard for Dimitri, and for the Kingdom. Now... I don’t ever want us to be separated again.”

“I know.” Mercedes held her close, close enough to almost make up for five years of never knowing. “I refuse to even imagine a world that would send us our separate ways once more.”

“Then you have to make me a promise.” Annette’s smile in that moment was something Mercedes would have started another war of her own to preserve. “I don’t trust anyone else to do it. You have to be in charge of baking the wedding cake!”

Mercedes laughed, the sound of her happiness filling the late summer air. “It’s a promise, Annie. That, and so much more.”

#fire emblem three houses #annette dominic #mercedes von martritz #annette x mercedes #yennefarious #my writing

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lapinbunwrites · 4 years

Text

For Her

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: None

Fandom: Fire Emblem Three Houses

Relationship: Annette Fantine Dominic/Felix Hugo Fraldarius

Word Count: 1,800

Ao3 Link

Annette was a great singer, it was one of the reasons he fell for her. Though her cooking was not one of them. She was a decent baker, but not a great cook.

“Ah, I messed it up again!” Annette yelled. “I’m sorry Felix, I didn’t mean to!”

He sighed. It wasn’t out of irritation or anything, it was the only reaction that he had. “It’s alright. Let me make something instead. Maybe then it would be edible.”

“O-Okay.”

Annette sat at the table and waited for Felix made some food. He never used to make any for anyone, so she didn’t know why he was now. While he was cooking, she started to hum a little tune. Felix started to slowly sway back and forth as he heard her humming turn into her singing.

“Food! Food! Going to get lots of food! My tummy tum is going to be filled with lots and lots of food.”

He started to hum to her tune before placing a plate in front of Annette. He sat across from her and started to eat. He hid away his own smile when he saw her glowing smile.

“Wooow! This is sooo good!! When and why did you learn to cook?”

“I didn’t want to keep eating your burnt food,” he said, stoned faced. He took a bit of his food, hoping that she wouldn’t ever be able to catch his lie. He enjoyed seeing her smile when he cooked something new.

“Hmm...” She said, staring into his golden-brown eyes. She knew that something was off, but she didn’t know what. “Hmm….” She said again.

“Are you going to eat your food? Don’t expect me to make you anything after tonight.”

“Oh! Right!”

She knew he was lying.

Day after day, she would subconsciously watch Felix. He would go to class, go train, but usually would go back to his room. But lately, he wasn’t going back to his room. It was odd to her. She took it upon herself to follow him throughout the day. Nothing suspicious. She found that he went to the library and that was it.

“Maaan,” she complained, “I can’t figure out how he became to be a good cook!” She twirled around and landed on her bed. “Ahhh! I’m going to figure this out!”

Within the next few days, she clumsily followed Felix around even more. He went to class, went to go train, he went to the library, and occasionally he went into town, but nothing really stood out. She decided to give up, knowing that she wasn’t going to find anything. Annette made her way to the cafeteria to get some food. There she saw that was no one was there, aside from Felix.

“Ah, crap,” he said to himself. “She’s not going to like this one. It’s too spicy.”

“Hm, who is she?” Annette said quietly.

Felix frantically turned around to see who was talking. Annette hid somewhere that he couldn’t find her. The two let out a sigh in unison. That was close. Annette peered at Felix, he was singing and cooking. She started to hum to his little tune. He wasn’t great, but his song was still catchy. Maybe she would refine the lyrics. She really wished she had the courage to go back into the kitchen to help him out. She should have taken the chance.

Five years. It had been five years since they had seen each other. And neither of them barely changed. Annette was still optimistic and clumsy and Felix was still cold and distant. Once they saw each other, she decided to cook again. She would try over and over again, and she still wasn’t good at it. Everything still burned and an explosion still happened.

“Ahh! I really screwed this up again!” Annette said.

“Not at all,” Felix lied. He knew that food was burnt.

“Awe man. I totally screwed it up.”

“No you didn’t.” He took the plate and started to eat it. He started to scrunch his face at every burnt crunchy part of the dish. “Delicious.”

“You are evil Felix!” Annette said, rushing out of the room.

“I was trying to be nice,” he sighed as she left. “Ah...Who am I kidding, I shouldn’t have lied to her about it.”

The next day, Felix was in the kitchen making some food to make it up to her. She was amazed at how good he was at cooking. It didn’t seem like he stopped cooking in the past five years.

“I know I asked you this years ago, but when and why did you learn cooking?” Annette asked.

“And as I told you years ago, it's because I didn’t want to keep eating your burnt food.”

“That’s a lie.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about. I really didn’t want to eat your food.”

“Then if that were true, you would have gotten something else to eat the days I was on cooking duty. There is another reason to this.”

Felix sighed. “Believe what you want. I stand by what I said.” He then walked out of the kitchen.

“Hmm...” She said to herself. “I know you are lying Felix. Why won’t you tell me? Please tell me.”

The next couple of months, Annette constantly saw Felix in the kitchen cooking and singing. And every time he realized that she was there, he would give her some of the food he made. He would shrug it off and would say he couldn’t finish it off himself or say that no one else would like what he would make. She knew that was wrong. She knew that he could eat all the food in the world and still be fine. She knew that everyone would love his food. He was a great cook.

One day, Annette walked up to the kitchen door, she heard Felix sing a familiar tune. One from five years ago, right before the ball. She listened to him sing his song while he cooked. In the past five years, he became a much better singer.

“I wanna cook!~ I wanna cook for her!~” He sang.

“Sweets, sweets, and even more sweets!~ Oh, the amount of sweets she will love!~” She sang along.

“Bah!” He said, jumping a little. “Annette! Now how is the evil one!”

“Hahah, I didn’t think you get so jumpy!”

Felix hid his blush. He will never admit that he was completely off guard. He never off guard, but when he was, he was always cooking.

“I like the song you are singing. I remember that from five years ago.”

It was becoming harder for him to hide his blush. She was there that day. He knew that someone was in the kitchen, but he didn’t know it was her.

“H-How much did you hear?”

“Not much. But I’ve always wanted to sing it with you.”

“Uh...I guess you can.”

Annette smiled and started to sing his song. She became distracted by the song and touched his hand. He sighed and figured out one reason she couldn’t cook. She was always distracted. He moved his hand out from under hers and got her to start stirring the soup. It wasn’t long before she realized she was cooking.

“I wanna cook!~ I wanna cook for her!~” He started to sing.

“Sweets, sweets, and even more sweets!~” She sang along. “I wanna bake sweets!~ And I know he’ll at least try for me!~”

He couldn’t hide his blush any longer. Though he wasn’t too embarrassed about it since Annette's smile was as big as it could be. He watched her switch from cooking to baking. She was at ease when she was baking.

“Oh how I know how much he will enjoy these sweets!~”

“Oh how I know she will love this soup!~”

It wasn’t long before the two finished the meal. They sat right next to each other while they ate. Felix peered at her. He could tell by the look on her face that she was ecstatic about the food that he made. He could tell that she was enjoying herself. She laid her head on his shoulder as he continued to eat. He looked ahead of him and smiled. He wanted to tell her, but he felt too embarrassed to, but the only reason he cooked was only to ever see her smile.

After dinner, Felix and Annette walked around the monastery. She placed her hands onto one of his arms as the two took their stroll. He could hear her faintly hum a tune. He could listen to her hum or sing till the end of time.

“I’m really surprised that you ate most of the cake,” Annette said, breaking away from her song. “You’re not one for sweets.”

“I know, but you made it and I knew you weren’t going to be able to eat it all yourself.”

Annette chuckled. She knew the real reason why he ate it. “I wonder...”

“Hmm?”

“I wonder...I wonder if you would cook for me for the rest of our lives.”

“You are thinking way too far into the future.”

“I know, and I know I’m being selfish, but if we could further with our relationship, I wonder if you would enjoy cooking for me for a little while longer.”

“For you, if you would have me, I wouldn’t mind cooking for you.”

Annette looked up at him and gave him a warm, sweet smile. She knew it. She knew that he was only cooking for her. Felix sighed and let a smile come across his face. He leaned down and gave her a light kiss on her lips. A red blush swept across his face when he heard Annette giggle.

“Wh-Why are you laughing?!” He asked, embarrassed.

“Hehee, nothing! Your lips taste like cake.”

His face became crimson red. She stood on her tip-toes and gave him a kiss of her own. He still had no words. His heart was pounding fast and he felt butterflies in his stomach. This was all new to him. He didn’t hate it, it just felt weird.

“I love you, Felix.”

“I-I love you too, Annette.”

She took his arm again and he walked her back to her room. They gave each other a goodnight kiss before leaving each other for the night. Annette squealed quietly. She was filled with happiness. Felix lied down on his bed, feeling all the mixed emotions. It didn’t feel bad. Not at all. It felt weird. A good weird. In the end, he was happy to know that she felt the same as him. He let out a sigh of relief and happiness. Now they just need to get through this war. He wants to keep cooking for her, until the end of days.

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Hey guys, this fic is based off of one artwork and is also a collab with my friend Yolaine! The artwork is based off of is done by LadyxLettie on Twitter because it was a Nagamas gift to me! Please go check out both of their artworks! It was so much fun working with Yolaine! She is so sweet! I also really love these two. I love their dynamics. You got this stubborn fool and your sweetheart. I love them so much.

LadyxLettie’s work!

Yolaine’s artwork!

#my writing #fire emblem #fire emblem three houses #netteflix #annette fantine dominic #felix hugo fraldarius #collab

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cryingalexanders · 4 years

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so i did a preliminary watch of ‘Kundan’, the 1955 indian version of les miserables. i wasn’t able to watch a version with english subtitles, though official ones do seem to exist! but i can talk about my impressions of the film at this stage, not understanding the dialogue.

this movie is 2 1/2 hours long, is in hindi, and is a musical (the songs slap btw)

instead of being set in france in the 19th century, they have it in india in the 1930s-40s. so the backdrop is indian independence rather than the june rebellion, and all of the characters names have been changed to indian ones, but their roles are mostly recognisable

some of the things they include: it has kundan (valjean) stealing the bread, a prison sequence, radha (fantine) leaving her daughter with the inkeepers, kundan being shown mercy by a hindu priest, scenes with the thenardier analogues especially in the first half, inspector sher singh (javert) being suspicious of kundan, scenes with radha that are not the same as fantine’s story (i’m actually pretty confused about what happened), the car(t) scene, the trial scene, a lot of scenes with uma (cosette) both as a child and an adult, the inspector’s suicide (though it’s a bit wacky with kundan following him out and being too late to save him)

obvious changes: radha has a husband who is involved in some crime or something which is why she’s alone with her daughter, uma falls in love with a young man who appears to be a local leader of the independence movement, it also has an eponine and her role is greatly reduced though she still dies on the barricade, the thenardier analogues appear to blackmail uma and kundan but it’s not the gobeau scene or anything approaching it, and kundan does not die at the end

this is the first time that i’ve watched a version which updated the setting and characters. just looking at the list of adaptations of wikipedia, a lot of them are foreign films, neither french nor english. it says something about the universality of this story. this is not even the only indian version

i feel like this version borrowed a lot from the 1935 and 1952 movies. some of the changes i noticed were strikingly similar. though i do think it’s better than either of those. i wonder how my opinion will develop when i watch it properly

#kundan 1955

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greensleevesredlipstick · 5 years

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i dreamed a dream

fic based on this ask where they're in the school play les mis together. howard is cosette, boleyn is fantine, parr is eponine, cleves is madame thenardier, aragon is sister simplicity, and jane is the stage manager/director (im not a theater person whatsoever so im not gonna lie, idk the difference). hope u all enjoy!!! any other fic prompts feel free to send :)

jane arrived to the auditorium first. it was their first show after an exhausting tech week, but she was excited to see the cast and crew’s hard work pay off. the long days, nights they had to order pizza to the school instead of getting home cooked meals, and early mornings, would all be worth it. It was her senior year and the drama teacher, Mr. Tudor, was finally letting her make her directorial debut. as the others trickled in, Jane greeted them nervously. the crew was in place, making sure the lighting was just right. she saw most of the cast in their dressing rooms getting ready but when she did a headcount, she noticed that one was missing. catherine aragon, a sophomore, said “pretty sure it’s anne who’s late. again”. Jane caught her tone of annoyance, but didn’t have time to dissect it. she had to make sure that everything else was in order. as she crossed the hall to the other changing room, anne nearly ran her over. out of breath, she started to apologize to Jane. Jane had to laugh; they had been in shows together since Anne was a freshman and she was a sophomore and she could count the occasions anne was on time on one hand. she pushed her friend into the dressing room warning her that she “better be dressed in time, or else” and tried her best to be menacing. Anne laughed, and Jane continued on to the next room. As she walked away, she mused over the contrast between anne and her character. she was able to flip the switch from anne the chaotic teenager to fantine the heartbroken mother in an instant. she wondered where inside Anne that emotion came from, and resolved to have at least one heart to heart with her friends in the future. in the meantime, she had work to do.

When she pushed on the door to the second dressing room, she found that it was locked. She frowned. none of the doors were supposed to be locked; there were people coming and going constantly. she jiggled the handle, but it refused to give way. she heard the voice of anna cleves, a junior who had only joined drama club that year. anna said nervously “give us a minute, please”. annoyed, Jane responded “look, I guess you don’t know how things work around here but-”. the door swung open and anna swiftly pulled her inside. jane quickly caught sight of katherine howard, one of the leads, crying in the corner of the room. she was only a sophomore and Mr. Tudor had doubted her ability, but jane had insisted on casting her as cosette. Jane had gotten to know the young girl, and had been blown away by her talent and poise-which is why she was so confused as she watched anna wrap her arms around the younger girl as she sobbed. she locked the door behind her and said softly, “what’s wrong, Kat?”. Katherine took a shaky breathe and said “it’s nothing, please don’t worry about me. I know how busy you are.” Over her girlfriend’s shoulder, Anna mouthed “stage fright”. Jane said “honey, let me do the worrying. everyone gets nervous sometimes, its only natural. you have nothing to be ashamed of”. Kat choked out “I’m 16, for gods sake. people get stage fright when they’re in like, fifth grade. not one of the leads in high school. whatever, I’ll be fine. just leave me alone. Actually Anna, you can go and get ready too. I’ll be fine”. Anna pulled her closer and said firmly “i’m not going anywhere” and Jane added “me neither. tell us what’s going on. you’ve been in shows before, haven't you?”. there was a long pause. finally Kat said “yea, I have. but this one feels different. I know that Mr. Tudor didn’t want me here, and I think some of the upperclassmen are mad at me for taking the lead from them. I can’t go on stage and then mess up and prove them right because they’ll all laugh and then I just don’t know what I would do”. katherine was breathing heavily. “shhhhh, it’s okay babe.” said Anna, rocking her girlfriend. Jane jumped in “hey, I have a lot of pressure on me, too. I knew that you were up to the role or I would have given it to someone else. You’re the most talented, powerful, graceful performer that i’ve seen. Don’t worry about proving the rest of them wrong, go out there and prove me right”. She gave Katherine’s arm a squeeze. Just then, there was a banging on the door. “Can someone let me in please???” Jane recognized Anne’s voice. “I kind of uh...can’t find my costume. Is it in there??” kat let out a little laugh. “i’ll be fine, really. Jane, you definitely have other things to be doing.” Jane glanced at Anna and said “well actually...” anna said “i’ve got this. go.” with one more concerned glance at Kat, Jane left to help Anne (and get the rest of the 50+ cast and crew together). Alone again in the room, Kat and Anna put their foreheads together. Katherine’s breath slowly returned to normal, but she still looked pale. Katherine finally brought her eyes up to meet Anna’s. Anna said simply “I believe in you, babe. pretend you’re singing just in the shower, and you’ll blow them all away”. Katherine exhaled, and they slowly started to get ready together.

in the wings, catherine parr and aragon ran through their lines together. although parr was a senior and aragon was only a sophomore, they had become fast friends during rehearsals. parr often tutored aragon in the courses she had already taken, and aragon repayed her with ice cream from her dad’s store. they looked out into the audience and were filled with nervous anticipation at the size of the crowd. they scurried backstage to put the finishing touches on their costume, whispering to the others about the full house. as the curtain rose and the opening notes to “look down” all of Jane and the rest of the cast/crew’s work fell into place.

For Katherine, the show was a blur. she saw bits and pieces; the melody of “heart full of love”, the red white and blue of the waving flags, and the roar of the crowd. when they took their final bow, she grabbed anna’s hand extra tight. she squeezed, and anna squeezed back. as the cast headed off stage, boleyn scurried off to her locker down the hallway. as Jane stepped on stage to take her bow, anne proudly presented her with a bouquet of flowers. she beamed as she listened to the crowd roar for one of her closest friends. once the cast finally changed out of their costumes and seen their friends and family, Anne announced “POST GAME AT MY HOUSE!!!”. the group cheered loudly, but groaned when Jane said “we’re back here at 11AM, so I don’t want to hear about anything too crazy”. Cleves chimed in “you won’t have to hear about it, you’re coming.” “that's right” parr declared. “you’re with us”. They piled into the senior’s cars and headed to Anne’s house, thrilled with how the show had gone.

Jane, ever the responsible one, spoke to each of the drivers and made sure that they weren’t drinking. parr and her were both designated drivers, but they still joined in the fun. anne was predictably the life of the party, climbing on top of her kitchen counter and belting out the lyrics to chicago’s “cell block tango”. Aragon rolled her eyes at boleyn’s rowdiness, but didn’t let that stop her from dancing with the rest of them. after a drink or two, Jane even spotted boleyn and aragon doing their synchronized choreography to “dancing queen”, the previous years production, together. anna and katherine danced together in the corner. anna laughed softly. new to the theatre scene, she said “only theatre kids would drink to ABBA”. they swayed together, offbeat from the rest of the cast, but they didn't care. anna pulled katherine closer and said “I’m so proud of you, babe. you nailed it, and you made me proud”. Kat added “as a plus, I didn’t ruin Jane’s night”. as they kissed, “seasons of love” began to play. they swayed together as the rest of the cast belted out “five hundred twenty five thousand...”

#first fic in a while that i dont hate lmfao #but KEEP SENDING REQUESTS AND ILL KEEP WRITING #OTHERWISE I WONT CAUSE I HAVE 0 IDEAS #anyways yea enjoy :)#six #six the musical #six fanfic #six the musical fanfic #anne boleyn #katherine howard #anna of cleves #jane seymour #catherine parr #catherine of aragon

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fairestmusesismoving · 4 years

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Top Three Ships

I was tagged by @thexforgottenxones and @darkerdeariegold ! And according to my boyfriend I have to do this. I am a pretty boring shipper, but uh... I’m pretty sure I’ve shared this before so I’m just gonna do what I remember cause I’m a weirdo.

1. Snowing / Snow White and The Prince (Once Upon a Time - Disney )

Yep. I am predictable. Alright but let’s be fair, as much as I rag on vanilla Prince for being “fifteen minutes late with Starbucks” to actually save Snow White, I think there’s something entirely pure about someone seeing a person just trying to hold onto a shred of hope in the face of pain and recognizing them for it. That’s the point of I’m Wishing/One Song. He noticed. He cared. And he’s sixteen so wow, you go Prince that’s a good head on your shoulders so soon! Snow White isn’t looking for a prince to save her, she knows it’ll happen when it’ll happen. That’s a lot of trust for two teenagers who are against one terrifying person who does have the magic to do horrible things to them. I like how OUAT expanded on them. Yeah okay, age them up a little because today’s world cannot stomach the idea of your parent figure trying to murder you at fourteen (except this is a real thing) but I like the new details. I like how it just makes the story bigger. I Will Always Find You? Mwah. Beautiful, I love it. ...Okay and yes, maybe I am a little Snow White. But @thexforgottenxones certainly is about 40% Prince (Buckethead).

2. Tiana and Naveen (Princess and the Frog)

I always loved this couple. I first saw Princess and the Frog when I was snuggled up in bed and recovering from being very very sick and I was mesmerized. I hadn’t loved a Disney movie like this in a long time. Tiana and Naveen made me believe in true love again. When @thexforgottenxones and I started dating and he asked me why I loved Disney movies the way I do, I showed him Snow White and Princess and the Frog. He was gasping at Snow White and insisting he got it, but he wanted to see one more movie. The moment he saw Naveen he was yelling “It’s me! It’s me!” And he really is 60% Naveen. Tiana is one of the biggest inspirations I have to keep going and her relationship with Naveen makes me believe that teamwork keeps a relationship going strong. The way Naveen gives for Tiana to help her dreams come true has always made me believe anything is possible with enough work and trust in one another... And hopefully I can teach my boyfriend some fun cooking skills cause my hands are starting to fail me.

3. Michiru and Haruka (Sailor Moon)

One of my first ever ships. A couple who have done some absolutely eyebrow raising things in order to make sure the Silver Millennium goes off without a hitch, but always true to each other. These two have an unbreakable bond that’s brought them together in a new life. I’ll admit sometimes I question their logic, but they’re so in sync that everything works out in the end and it’s all to protect their princess. In the face of danger or even death, they’re never without the other and they’re ready for anything that comes their way.

—

Honorable mentions: Ray & Evangeline (FIGHT ME) Tigger & Rabbit (FIGHT ME) Tigger & Kanga (I ship Winnie the Pooh characters cuddling together yes.) Doc & Grumpy (they are totally not brothers fight me again) Juumba and Pleakley (ultimate come fight me) House & Cuddy House & Wilson House & Cuddy & Wilson Valjean & Javert Valjean & Fantine Javert & Fantine Grantaine & Enjolras Sarah & Jareth (Return to Labyrinth, not original Labyrinth) Janet & Jason Kiki & Tombo And I’ve probably forgotten a lot of ships I’d die for cause... there’s a lot of them! I’m a very forgetful sort so there’s most certainly more. I just can’t remember them at the moment.

Tagging: I think everyone’s been tagged by now... If you’re reading this and haven’t been tagged, I curse you to do this. Ahahaha. But I curse you with...rainbows. Yes. How horrible, a rainbow.

#what i meme about me #shipping meme

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kcrabb88 · 5 years

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Uhhhhhhhhhhh I watched the second episode and I am. I am...well I’m SOMETHING, that’s for sure.

A lot of people have already talked about Valjean firing Fantine himself, but I’m UPSET about it, and it changes so much about Valjean’s character and his arc and that is gonna echo through the whole rest of the series???? Why on EARTH would you make that choice. It’s like “hey darling daughter Cosette, sorry I actively ruined your mother’s life but then I felt bad but it was too late” like what the actual hell. I feel like I get what Davies THINKS he’s trying to do. He thinks he’s being deep and showing Valjean being torn between his angry convict self and his real, nice, kind self but let me tell you, it isn’t working.

Andrew Davies continues to be shit at pacing. His pacing in War and Peace was shit as well and this is also shit.

Lily Collins is a lovely actress and I like what she’s TRYING to do with Fantine, but the script and the direction won’t let her. I really didn’t need to see her teeth get pulled, thanks. I saw the Fantine from the book when she fought back against Bambatois, and I saw that LOOK in her eyes, but Davies isn’t letting Lily Collins do her best work, though she’s clearly trying.

I still like David Oleyowo as Javert a lot, but AGAIN the script is making stuff WEIRD. It’s canon that Javert thinks Monsieur Madeline is pulling the wool over people’s eyes but he doesn’t think he’s Valjean from the START it’s a SLOW DISCOVERY and this whole setup makes it seem like Javert was constantly testing him and the interaction between him and Fantine was messed up because he was trying to get her to tell some kind of truth on Madeline and it took away from the scene.

WHY IS GEORGES DEAD?? Baby Marius continues to be super cute and the stuff with Gillenormand is well done but how is this?? Gonna??? Work??

The kids are cute! Gavroche, Eponine, Azelma, Cosette. One thing that did wrench my heart was getting to see Fantine with Cosette and them having to part, which you don’t often see, at least in adaptations I’ve watched.

Why is there so much focus on Petit Gervais?? What about the Bishop like??? Why did he bury the candlesticks???? WHY

I just. I will of course continue to watch and I do like the acting and there are some small things I like but STOP RUINING VALJEAN he is the CENTRAL CHARACTER wtf. I’m not even gonna talk about him and Fantine making eyes at each other, I just can’t. VALEJAN ISN’T YOUR EDGY ANTI-HERO ANDREW DAVIES, MEET ME IN THE PIT

Also like, Les Mis is a beating, bleeding heart of a book. You feel CONSTANTLY and A LOT. There’s a reason I’ve been attached to the book and active in the fandom for a really long time now. But Andrew Davies somehow manages to suck the emotion out of it and I’m like HOW HAVE YOU MANAGED THIS. Give me the musical any day, thanks.

#WHAT IS A TIMELINE???#Andrew Davies doesn't care #You're just supposed to guess #Bring on episode 3 I guess it probably can't be worse than this #She says #Afraid it will be #BBC Les Mis Miniseries #BBC Les Mis spoilers #Les Mis #KCrabb rambles

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bbclesmis · 5 years

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Lily Collins Gets Candid: GLAMOUR’s December cover star on Les Misérables and success on HER terms

2018 was the year of fearless female performances but THE TV Christmas blockbuster, Les Misérables, saves the best for last with Lily Collins’ star turn as Fantine. Here she navigates the minefield of millennial dating, -13°C locations and a late-twenties crisis with GLAMOUR’S Josh Newis-Smith.

“I’ve been ghosted more times than I care to admit,” Lily confesses, as we discuss the minefield that is millennial dating. Adorned in a slouchy black hoodie with her hair scraped back into a care-free ponytail and barely a lick of make-up, Lily could be any twenty-something in debrief mode.

In fact, the only indication that this is a Golden Globe nominee who since starting to act at the age of two, has carved a place for herself as a go-to starlet – in such varied roles in Rules Don’t Apply, Mirror Mirror and Love, Rosie- is the vast Hollywood home that plays backdrop to our interview and her GLAMOUR cover shoot.

About to hit our screens in her career-defining role as Fantine, who is dumped unceremoniously by her lover - Victorian ghosting if you will - and left to fend for her child alone, we are musing on how, just like the iconic character, Lily has navigated her own fair share of heart ache. “There are times when I’ve [been on dates and] thought we had a great time and then I’ve never heard from the guy again,” she continues. With this level of ‘gal pal’ magnetism it’s no wonder she has garnered 11 million Instagram followers, and counting. “Sometimes that happens after one date, a couple of dates or one month. I would prefer people to be honest with me, as I live like that. I don’t think it will be something I can ever figure out. The good thing is that we all have the same issues.” Alexa, play Thank U, Next by Ariana Grande...

Both 29 years old, we quickly bond over that late-twenties crisis, too. “Everyone in their late twenties goes through it a bit, because we’re heading to the big 3-0,” she reassures me. “But I think I had a quarter-life crisis at 25 where I kept asking, ‘Am I at where I wish to be at?’ I never really set out as a kid with markers of when I want to get married or have kids. But I got to the age where you constantly compare yourself to your friends or other people in your industry.”

It’s this level of realism that makes her performance as the ultimate fallen female, Fantine, so damn relatable, despite the fact it was shot in inconceivable sub-zero conditions in Brussels over a grueling five-month period. One scene, in the opening episode, sees a thoroughly modern-feeling Fantine squatting in the bushes alongside her wing women, discussing the gents on offer. “When our director, Tom (Shankland) was describing it as, ‘You are going to be squatting, having a chat,’ I thought, ‘Well, I can’t say I haven’t done that,’” Lily laughs. “People have been doing this for centuries – that camaraderie between women and men going to the bathroom and having chats, where it’s all about the subtext and the looks.”

Alas, poor Fantine didn’t have a rival nightclub to the local tavern, or Tinder, in her weaponry to help find a knight in shining armour to rescue her from her inevitable fall. Swiping right isn’t something that interests Lily, either. “I’ve never tried a dating app,” she exclaims with her trademark eyebrows alive with energy. “Lots of my friends have, but it’s just that I don’t know how I would. LA is very much where I spent most of my time growing up, so I know the places I am not going to go to meet somebody and I also realise that when you’re not looking, you find it.”

Lily is grounded, which is no mean feat given that she grew up surrounded by fame as the daughter of the Easy Lover hitmaker, Phil Collins. There’s no name-checking of famous faces, only her closest pals, a pool of Californian friends from Harvard-Westlake School who have enabled her to achieve that much-lauded term: balance. She has worked hard to have her Destiny’s Child ‘Independent Woman’ moment.

“Growing up I never wanted that to be a part of my story,” Lily confides. “Obviously I’m super-proud of my dad; I love my dad, I’m grateful for all the things I’ve learned, but it’s also something I wanted to define as my own. I always wanted to do it myself and for myself. There are so many people who want to do what I do, a name is not going to get you a job, and it shouldn’t. I can look back and be so proud I did it on my own. People assume it’s a lot easier when you have that name, but if you’re the kind of person who doesn’t want to use it, it’s a lot harder.”

Part of Lily taking control of her own narrative involved her penning her memoir, Unfiltered: No Shame, No Regrets, Just Me just under two years ago, something that she regards as the “most cathartic, therapeutic experience, in a way I didn’t anticipate”. In the emotional read, Lily confesses to hacking away at those eyebrows to fit in with the skinny-browed girls at school, details an unnamed emotionally abusive relationship, discusses a long and winding journey with eating disorders, and contains an open letter, forgiving her father, “for not always being there,” during her childhood after moving from Surrey to LA with her mother, Jill Tavelman following her parents’ divorce. For an industry in which personal lives are hidden by a velvet curtain, it was beyond brave.

Reminiscing, Lily details how the book’s direction took an unexpected turn, “I realised I was carrying so much baggage that, when it came to work, I couldn’t take on the baggage of my character. I felt a bit like a fraud to myself if I didn’t unleash – or at least get off my chest – these things, to move on and go into the next phase of my life. In life, when you dig the deepest and talk about the most uncomfortable things, that’s the time you’ll connect with most people because that’s when you’re being the ‘realest’. The hardest things to talk about will always be the most relatable, because no one wants to show them; they’re awkward.”

Used to shedding excess baggage, Lily had to leave everything at the French border to play what is set to become a career-defining role as Fantine. As she proudly scrolls through her phone to show her transformation from debutante darling to shaven-haired dishevelled wench, her enthusiasm is as big as her brows as she details the most testing part of taking on this role. “The material, the location, the temperature,” she admits were the biggest challenges. But it’s clear she relished getting gritty. “It was so perfect, but at one point it was -13°C in Brussels. It was mental preparation of not just understanding the psychology of what she’s going through, but also the gruelling shooting experience that we were all in. Dressed in little material towards the end, it was about pushing through mentally. Obviously, I saw the end in sight. I dive in 110%. If I’m freezing, tired and bruised from shooting, I lean into that with the character.”

In a year where toxic masculinity has led to outpourings of female empowerment, it seems an ideal time to revisit the treatment of this infamous female character; something that isn’t lost on Lily. “When she falls, she falls so hard. But she’s willing to stay down there if it means providing for her child. It’s very poignant over what’s happening in today’s world. When we’re at our lowest, we still have our sense of self and are willing to fight back and use our voice. That really resonated with me.”

How does she feel in the wake of the year where Hollywood finally got woke on the abuse of power? “It’s great to see the camaraderie that’s come from it. Women coming forward with these issues are being embraced. Whether it’s in the pay gap or having more female directors, writers, and making sure there are just as many women and men on movie sets – hopefully one day this won’t even have to be a conversation. That’s my hope that we won’t have to say, ‘’I’m so glad you’re hired because you’re a female. It should be that you are known for your skill level… Right now, it’s fantastic, but it shouldn’t be why a woman is defined as amazing.”

As a result, Lily is feeling more empowered than ever before. “Yeah, I am, 100%,” she says. “I’ve realised that I can’t control what other people think of what I have to say, but I can control how I say it and where it’s coming from. So many women have come out and spoken about things that people would have assumed would have been the end of them. Now it is embraced for us to speak out. I’m attracted so strongly to people who are brave and outspoken and very much themselves, so I thought, ‘Why can’t I be that?’ It takes practice and I’m not fully there yet, but I’m doing my best to take those steps.”

This self-crafted confidence is exactly why Lily was attracted to the challenge of creating and directing her own GLAMOUR shoot, shot on a mobile phone during a fitting with super-stylists Rob Zangardi and Mariel Haenn. “I love expressing different sides of myself,” she exclaims, referencing her Giambattista Valli gown she wore for her cover. “It’s a process that allows me to constantly surprise myself, rediscover and push myself in ways I wouldn’t have felt comfortable with a couple of years ago.” One thing is for certain, you shouldn’t underestimate this ultimate Hollywood ‘doer’; she curled her own hair and specifically asked for the pictures not to be retouched, too.

Away from Hollywood and couture, Lily will be living her best Cameron Diaz lyf circa The Holiday this Christmas. “It’s my time to switch off from my job, sleep in and be British – I love holing myself away where no one can bother me. I love being in the countryside, outside London, with my mum. We get our tree, we have decorations from when I’m younger. We cook. We have fires and watch old movies,” Lily shares in a manner of an over-excited elf.

It’s safe to say the Christmas cracker that will really bring a bang to your festivities is Lily Collins in Les Misérables. Plus, dear wise men and women, this star with her rare empowering gifts is well worth following, far and wide.

Les Misérables will start on the BBC on 30th December. (x)

#les mis bbc #bbc les mis #Lily Collins #fantine #Interviews #articles

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