#but I’m nervous others won’t

[ohno-the-sun]

Yippee newest chapter of Under the Surface is done! I hope you all will enjoy this one

Art is scene in the fic lol

Also I made a playlist for it check it out if you like

Has vibes, character arcs and spoilers so fun

#Luca au #fnaf daycare attendant #sundrop #moondrop #fnaf sun #fnaf moon #my art #Ough another one where I’m nervous #cause I actually like this chapter #but I’m nervous others won’t #or I’ll hate the chapter later pfpfpt #golly gee creating a longer form story is hard #also the playlist is ordered in a specific way #I wonder if people will be able to guess #also feel free to send song suggestions I love listening to new music #mermaid au #mermay #human au #my writing

[skyward-floored]

My mom: yeah don’t worry you can put stuff in the amazon cart there’s nothing there you can’t see (for Christmas)

*Lo and behold there was at least one thing in there that I probably should not have seen*

#and I have mixed feelings on receiving it KSDFBJFVJDGH #rambles from the floor #like listen. I like hw but I don’t know if I WANT it. #I DONT WANT MY SIBLINGS TO BE EXPOSED TO CIA??? #they’re too innocent #and I’ve watched the cutscenes there’s just parts I know would be uncomfortable #and now I’m gonna stress over this aaaaaaaaaaa #did they just see zelda and put it in there?? #didn’t look at the rating or anything???? #my brother probably put it on his list I hate when he does that #he asks for a game he knows he won’t play but knows I will so he can watch it which like I don’t mind but #it’s ALWAYS GAMES I GET NERVOUS ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE WATCHINGGGG

[wow-an-unfunny-joke]

But Hunter tumblr account: likes my two posts about me adding their songs to my cringey fan playlists

Me: has a heart attack

#okay so they’re probably just on the big Hunter tag or smth #but damn #like #I’m sorry yall had to find my post about Donatello from tmnt #in my defense #30 plan is so Donnie #esp 2012 Donnie #like he would do that shit #he totally would #I’m gonna keep posting about them tho #like Robbin’ a bank is so junkiest tho??? #him and roadhog after joining overwatch??? #him joining overwatch and any other character??? #and platonic best friend is so Boots an’ Bombs!! #solly being all nervous cause he caught feels for his bestie who is also the enemy???? #okay I keep going for ever and longer #but I won’t #bug hunter #character playlist #fan playlist #shitpost #not even sure if that’s their official tumblr account even #like does bro have tumblr???? #I overthink too much #damn

[iceblink-ink]

skljkljk it feels like there are so many different ship names and new variations constantly being invented. i know every individual can use their social media how they want to… but would we perhaps be amenable to tagging murderbot ships posts with a catch-all tag like “murderbot shipping”? I prefer to filter tags than block people 😶‍🌫️

#the murderbot diaries #tmbd #mbd #curating my online experience but the only 2 options are filter and block #and I’m starting to think filter won’t do it… #esp rarepairs #I’m sorry guys skdjksjf #i usually just lurk... posting to fandom tags scary #maybe the correct thing to do is just block rather than ask people to change what they're doing but idk then i'll miss their other stuff #don't look at me i'm nervous

[mangoisms]

i did plan to add to my queue then dip but i will leave with one thing. a couple things. um. Yes i know chapter 8 is late. it will be late until next week friday i am VERY sorry but this week, while unexpectedly great, was also super busy and i had no time to myself At All during the week and i’d like to do that this weekend.

also yesterday. i saw blue beetle. GREAT movie excellent movie everyone go see it immediately. i will talk about it more next week when i come back. so yes. i love you all. thank you

#it was a great week i was nervous as we all know about the start of the semester #but it was great! i made some friends. had an AWESOME conversation with 2 people in my cohort about comics (both dc and marvel) #also successfully recommended batgirl vol 3 and young justice 1998 but i am ESPECIALLY happy about batgirl. As we all know #my professors are all really nice. A Lot Of Reading. but really nice. not out to get us or anything #but yeah. i just. don’t have the energy to proof chapter 8. This Is An Issue Of Mine #where i get like idk fatigued of doing that every week bc i don’t have the foresight to proof chapters ahead bc i’m a silly goose #and i just really want to work on other stuff. but also my parents are in town and i’m not complaining but there’s like. Things taking my ti #my time** so. ck will have to be put aside #again. SORRY #and no i won’t just post it as it is like i said it Has To Be Proofed #For Me. For Me.

[canisonicscrewyou]

I KNOW the testosterone is doing her job because when I left the family function today, my uncle john (who I haven’t seen since coming out+transitioning) shook my hand and went “nice meeting you today”.

His wife knew who I was and acknowledged it as soon as she saw me earlier. I didn’t correct him. I’m still laughing about it, honestly.

#literally so tickled by it. the way my grandma howled. #when I told her about it before we left #but I DID confuse his name w my uncle ken’s. so. it all evens out I guess. #BUT he also said nice to meet you to my partner?? so he was definitely talking to me abshfjfkgkg #I’m still nervous around my extended family bc we haven’t seen each other much since coming out to them #they’re all doing real good about it though. it’s genuinely very sweet. they’re all so old and do so well #both w me and my partner’s pronouns and stuff. love that shit. very affirming. #ok to reblog if you wanna I guess. I won’t stop you.

[swordmaid]

something about how brienne tries so hard to appear as stoic and nonchalant in the outside (how different characters perceive her) but she actually is sensitive to a lot of things and how she just internalises it like …………

#🫠🫠🫠🫠 thinking about how she always tries to hide her smile . or hide her tears . or hide if she’s feeling nervous etc . #she can never freely express her own emotions out of fear or being mocked . and it’s the same with how she feels towards someone #where she’s just used to loving from the outside and just doing stuff FOR them and not expecting anything else done to her #screaming into the wall #I guess this is also why I’m not a fan of that take where jb won’t happen but they’ll know there’s love between them but it’s not acted on #like it’s some symbolism or whatever. like yeah I get it romantic love doesn’t depend on the actions made but it’s also like #you have a character that’s been so used to suppressing everything she feels and who actually craves acknowledgement and she wants physical #touch but you’re just denying it for the sake of said Symbolism. like it’s cruel to me that she’ll never get that kind of resolution #just because it’s more symbolic that she doesn’t ????????????????????? I’m too much of a bri stan for this 🙄 #and not to mention . said character who thinks that her touches are repulsive to other people and then u don’t want her to be touched #by someone who actually cares about her ? ok ……

[natugood]

I dressed up as a light rail train from my local transit agency for Halloween and someone took a picture of me during my morning commute and sent it to them. Little did I know that my transit agency posted the pic, and across platforms it’s gotten over 1.8k likes?!? Multiple people stopped me on my way home to ask for pictures or talk to me cause they’d seen me online. What a weird day.

#if you live in Portland and saw the pics of the MAX guy? that’s me lol #most of the comments online have been really sweet too which has been nice #especially since I was really stressed out and couldn’t sleep last night because I was nervous about wearing this costume #I also find it funny because in the picture from the morning I was on my phone. What was I doing on my phone? #I was studying for my transportation operations exam. literally caught me on transit dressed as transit studying transportation #overall the costumes reception has made me very happy and to me highlights exactly what I love about Transit. #because of my costume I’m making people smile and I’m getting to talk and connect with folks around me #many of whom I’ll never see again. my costume is helping connect my community and build bonds between us #that’s what transit does! when you share that space with other people and talk to them you are connecting with people in your community #people who you likely won’t ever see again! but those conversations still matter and are good!! #they connect us all to each other #everyone is a neighbor on transit. we are all connected on transit. we are all transit users. #and that’s a community that stretches into almost every other subcommunity in the community at large #transit connects people - not only from place to place but also with each other #googoogajoob

[shima-draws]

Wow can you guys believe we’re getting the Trustedpartner reunion tomorrow. Ash is going to see Gladion and kiss him directly on the mouth and it’s going to be glorious can you believe we as a society get to witness that moment

#Shima speaks #;))))) #AAAAAAAAAAAAAA I CAN’T WAIT #Subs probably won’t go up until tomorrow afternoon tho 😭 #Still be ready for me to obsessively screencap drop once I get the chance #Pokemon #Pokeani #Pokemon Journeys #Trustedpartnershipping #Ash Ketchum #Gladion #Satoshi #Gladio #Part of me is nervous that they won’t actually see each other but like?? #Why include Gladion in a Lillie-centered episode at all if he’s not going to run into Ash at any point #Since I’m fairly sure Lillie will bump into Ash so. #AAGGHDHDH #I will cry if they don’t see each other tomorrow. #But that won’t happen bc they’re going to and they will kiss <3 #LMAO

[sailforvalinor]

.

#oohhh girlies in my phone I’m really in it now #I went to talk about this in the tags last night but then I rambled so much I HIT THE TAG LIMIT LOL #but um basically I got re-acquainted with a boy I was friends with when I was nine only to discover that I still have a crush on him??? #MAYBE??? I DON’T KNOW???? #I genuinely don’t know if I actually do or if I’m just thrilled to find a guy I can talk to like a normal person who doesn’t make me want #to dig a hole in the ground and hide (this is not a dig at the menfolk I’m just nervous around guys my age for some reason) #it’s such a rarity you know??? #I just I don’t know aaaaaaaaaahh #I don’t often find people that I’m on the same wavelength with like that. like a kindred spirit thing #and like one thing is he IS a year and a half or so younger than me which is slightly awkward now but won’t be in even just a year or so #my family (in their usual fashion) have tossed him up to me as a potential option multiple times this week and I haven’t been as adverse as #I usually am to their suggestions so like. I think they can TELL haahahahhahahaha #like it doesn’t matter I guess because I’m going on an exchange program and I won’t see him again until next year anyway #but it’s been two days and I can’t stop thinking about it #also the other thing is I don’t have his number but my brother has it and like I’m not going to ask for it because a) my brother would make #fun of me relentlessly and also b) what would I even do with it I’m not that brave #I am perfectly content with just being friends for the moment but I don’t want to let that friendship atrophy in the whole year we don’t #see each other but!!! I’m too awkward!!! #but. anyway. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[arthur-r]

heads up it turns out a lot of the new jukebox the ghost is actually really great!!!! i was out here thinking their music had just gotten worse but it turns out just a couple songs happen to be terrible and the rest is good

#like i hate wasted. but i got a girl and brass band are both so rad #i had made my judgements on their new stuff based on getting older. for the record. but that was just a random low point in the middle of #good stuff. and it wasn’t even that bad of a song i just decided it meant i should keep only listening to the older album i like #anyway i’m seeing them in concert. tomorrow. as a christmas present from my sister she gave me aldi-brand oreos and concert tickets for us #and it’s tomorrow so i’m listening to their new stuff cause loving let live and let ghosts won’t carry me through blending in at a concert #anyway some of their new stuff is annoyingly overproduced and sanitized like it sounds like radio music. but that is not all the new music #and it’s really exciting to have made that revelation!!!! and in other news i have a doctor appointment a week from tomorrow #where i try to get a medical diagnosis to go along with my problems so that i have standing to apply for an elevator pass and stuff #and speaking of which i’m a little nervous about going to a standing room concert when i’ve been extra unwell lately?? but i should be okay #but yeah anyway i’m doing the closest thing to seeing tally hall that i can in this day and age. so wish me luck shdhdf #i’m scared but also excited. and i’m really enjoying the piano stuff on their newest EP #now starting their album from slightly earlier and not sure i feel about it yet but generally optimistic!!!! #in final news i have a socratic seminar next hour for a book that i hardly managed to read 20 pages of. so hopefully i can fake it/make it #i would read it right now but something about the font literally won’t translate into actual words in my brain. and the content is weird too #(the kingdom of this world by alejo carpentier i know it would be cool if i could process and pay attention but instead i’m just confused) #but so in conclusion. the new jukebox the ghost is actually pretty rad and i recommend at least giving it a chance #if you happen to be like me and had not gave it a chance shdhdf. anyway i should probably look at a spark notes #but yeah. life updates of: doctor appointment and concert and jukebox listening. i keep drafting and not posting #so here’s some words from me. hope everyone is well. maybe a call again sometime would be good #i guess in a few weeks when everybody is in the places where they live. anyway hi the rest of tumblr i’m secretly talking to wext shdhdf #hope the rest of tumblr is doing okay as well. okay i gotta go study now and stuff #but i got a girl and brass band are highlights of their new stuff so far #again hope everybody is doing okay!!!! #also ask to tag for whatever #me. my post. mine. #delete later

[pink-octopede64]

no idea if anyone else has done it but i’m too lazy to check

#super mario #mario #mario movie #chris pratt #jack black #also too lazy to put in other popular tags lol #anyway i think it looks really good and won’t be bad as people are making out to be #although obviously i’m still nervous about how the voices will be handled but we have to wait and see

[sluttyten]

Now I sit in my room anxiously for the next hour and a half waiting for tickets to go on sale, and then I drive anxiously across town too

#like fuck I’m nervous and I need to eat something but I’m nervous and that makes it difficult #also I fucking hate making plans with people that I don’t know all that well 😭😭 like yeah I know them at work but not outside of work #and also going places I’ve never been before?? to do things that I don’t do?? the social anxiety has my belly in knots #and then….. I have to show my parents that I pierced my nose and I think that’s my biggest fear about all of this #number one fear actually: not getting tickets #number two fear: me coming home with my nose pierced and having to tell them #I just got home from work and saw my dad was home and was like oh shit bc when I leave I’m gonna have to offer an explanation #but like once I have the tickets purchased then like 🤷🏻‍♀️ what’s my mom gonna do tell me that we’re not going #also like everyone keeps telling me I’m a grown ass adult and I can make these decisions myself #I wonder if everyone at work could see how nervous I was and how increasingly throughout the day I’ve been getting like more nervous and #more quiet but like I feel like it’s equal parts ticket sale anxiety and doing something out of the ordinary that my parents might not #approve of while I live under their roof and all that #but on the bright side my dad just left to go do something so maybe he won’t be back before I leave and I’ll just be like hey I’m leaving #um and I’m getting my nose pierced but I’ll be back soon!! #also though like a source of my anxiety right now is that I have to go pick up one of the people I’m going with and I’ve never been alone #with him not that I mean that in a bad way just an anxious way like I’m awkward as fuck #and the other girl who was maybe going with us didn’t work with us today and she seemed a lil hesitant about it and then I texted her about #what time I’m planning on going and she hasn’t responded but I’m pretty sure she read it #anyway I’m literally like buzzing with anxiety right now over getting tickets first and foremost #ALSO I’m supposed to be getting something from Amazon today and it’s not here yet plus I’m waiting on a trade to get here and I just want #it all to just be here

[rowanhoney]

so yes I do announce a new best friend every other week and I do crush hard on multiple people at once and then continue to crush again and again from the moment I first meet someone and I know people who are critical of these parts of me but I think it’s simply evidence of my capacity to love and it’s clear I’ve been blessed so there’s that

#I’d say top 3 crushes r the customer crush you all know about #the one who changed the course of my life and opened me up to the core of myself #then left me heartbroken and I can’t forget no matter how much I try #and someone else from work lol oops #we then also have star girl 💞 I get so nervous around her but her energy is gorgeous and bright and gentle #I was gonna say she’s like a cold stream on a hot day washing over you then I remembered she’s a pisces #and then the girl with the dogs who ik is queer and I’ve always had a thing for her cos she looks a bit scary but is rly sweet #and that’s my type…….. #also the recent times I’ve seen her she has definitely flirted and I’ve definitely blushed #also the chalk artist but that’s cos she gives off noughties butch vibes and it makes me nervous #and then I’m p sure she clocked me and the fact she makes me nervous #and then got a bit cocky about it which makes me melt a bit even more 💘 #then also my favourite customers husband #I’ve been instructed to keep him company because she’s away from Xmas #so those are all the notable ones #new besties of late include someone who was a fave customer who now works w me #and is so cool and vibrant I love her #and then another colleague who I trained yday but won’t rly work with #and we got drunk the other night #and basically spent 2 days talking music and mother issues and sexuality with Christian background etc #we have overlapping eclectic taste #just having so much fun #and it’s being pointed out that I get along with everyone and people really like me #and I radiate warmth and generally magnetise others towards me #I feel absolutely surrounded by so much love atm from so many angles #like my home and friends are also bringing so much love into my life #I’m overjoyed #this is my element and what I thrive in

[unintentional-sad-wizard]

Worried that my health stuff might be acting up again augh

#PLEASE I don’t want another several weeks of this #I’m feeling super low energy and brain foggy and generally shitty #which makes me anxious because that’s usually how it starts when my symptoms start getting worse again #I’m crossing my fingers that this is just because I’m on my cycle or because I ate fast food today #for the first time in a while #and that it’s not the same health stuff I had going on for the last couple months #but I’m worried #we never figured out what was going on with me and it went away after a couple months #and I’ve been way better lately but the past week or so I’ve been feeling gradually worse and have been really low energy #I do have an appointment on Monday I think to redo some blood tests and stuff #but the first two times they ran those tests they didn’t find anything wrong even though my symptoms were awful #so if it is coming back I kinda doubt that this time will reveal anything #but maybe this will convince them to do other tests or refer me to a specialist or something #At least I’m taking fewer classes this term #so I won’t have quite as much stuff to balance #but money is tight because of how much work I missed last term so I can’t afford to miss a lot more #and I’m supposed to start volunteering at an animal shelter in a couple weeks which I’m really looking forward to #and I’ve been planning to get a dog soon-ish #and I would hate hate hate to have to postpone any of that stuff even more #and I just. can’t keep dealing with this. I hate being sick I hate not being able to do things I’m tired of it #I’m trying not to spiral or worry too much because anxiety definitely makes me feel worse lol #and this could be nothing it could be unrelated to whatever health issues I was having earlier #but it makes me nervous #the being of chaos speaks

[selfconsumerofmywoes]

tomorrow i might dare to enter a coffee shop

#like i’ll probably chicken out but i’ll try #i’ve planned which one and everything #i’m trying to build up to going to the one by my house #but the windows are always steamed up there so i can’t even see inside and it makes me nervous not being able to see the layout before enter #like where’s the counter??? where do i queue??? #am i insane??? because this sounds ridiculous #anyway i’m going to try a place that isn’t a chain or is a chain but a little one i’ve never been in #won’t know the protocol but i will learn #tried a new lunch place the other day #i’m improving #i talk and its probably something weird