#but I’ll be back in a few months

[project-sekai-facts]

When the spotlights malfunction at the end of the Filament Fever 3DMV, they briefly use special spotlight effects seen in a previous WonderlandsxShowtime 3DMVs.

Namely, the flowers from Niccori Chousa-tai no Theme, the multicolored ring from Sekai wa Mada Hajimatte sura Inai, and the knives and forks from Okochama Sensou.

#project sekai #3dmv #so I may or may not have deleted jpsekai #dw i’ll have it back in a few months probably

[glowingsand]

woke up at 7am on a saturday to try out life drawing…it was fun once i finally got the hang of it :’>

#this is a few months old omg i never got around to finishing the zeet studio session #but i’ll def go back n clean these up n then share them again #obviously the reason i tried life drawing in the first place was cuz the theme was mononoke T-T like yes that’s my show. yay. #and then i suffered for an hour before realizing i was hungry. #mononoke #mononoke anime #mononoke 2007 #kusuriuri #medicine seller #my art #digital art #fanart #sketch

[disappointeddyke]

compression

part of the collection I made for my final undergrad review awhile back

#looking back I’d change a couple things #but I just want to inspire myself again to make more work in relation to this #hopefully I’ll have the space to make messier art again in the next few months #my art #art #sculpture #dyke #butch #nonbinary #lesbian #lgbtq #mine

[howdoyousleep3]

meep, me again 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

#personal #15 months later and I’m starting to get back into self care #your girl is taking supplements and eating better and going on more walks and focusing on hair and skincare #And it’s making me want to take more selfies lol #I’ll stop after this one 🙈 #but I was just feeling this look today #🩷✨🩷 #few things beat sweats and a tube top lol

[torchickentacos]

#^farmer’s market goat :) #vent post #I feel bad posting vent posts so I try to have good pictures/screenshots for them skskskd #disclaimer that I’m okay but also this is above tumblr’s pay grade. I just need to yell into the void about it #health stuff is taking a sudden downward turn and I’m stressed about it #I’m fine #but we’re considering getting genetic testing to check for vascular Ehlers Danlos #which is. concerning. #that’s the one you don’t want #‘half of people with this condition will live to at least 48’ reassuring. thanks. #like. I’m FINE right now but kind of having a little existential mortality crisis over having to consider it as a possibility #it might be nothing or something else. we’re just talking possibilities. but I don’t like that we’re seriously discussing vEDS #idk. hopefully in a few months I come back with an update and it’s nothing/something else #I’m not gonna just keel over but it’s not a fun time as you get older #again. I’m fine right now. it’s probably just my anxiety. but I need SOME sort of outlet #and on tumblr nobody’s pressured to respond. I don’t really want a vent discussion or anything #just need to get it out and move on with making appointments and pushing fluids #but everything is okay right now. I’ll make appointments. I’ll discuss medications and testing. I’ll make lifestyle changes where I can. #it’ll be fine

[shima-draws]

Told my boss that NO I cannot take over customer phone calls because my anxiety will literally not be able to take it. And I’m being SO brave about it,

#I say this as I’m sitting here shaking and on the verge of having an anxiety attack. AHA #Shima speaks #She called me yesterday morning and was like. Hey your coworker is drowning and I KNOW you hate phone calls #But she really needs help #And I was like. Yeah okay. Maybe I can do this. #Fast forward to last night. I’m in bed hyperventilating bc no I CANNOT do this #My mental health has already been Bad for the past few months bc I’m already working overtime for this job #And now to take on the One thing I generally get anxious about? Bro. It’s gonna kill me. 100% no exaggeration #So I called my boss this morning and was like hi I’m so sorry I said I would but I actually can’t. I deadass had an anxiety attack #just THINKING about it last night #And she was like omg no I get it. I have anxiety too I know what it’s like. It’s debilitating sometimes #So she said I didn’t have to do the phone calls and now I’m like YIPPEE #And she said hey that was a really brave thing to do. Speaking up like that and making it clear when you’re not comfortable with something #Me still shaking and holding back tears: Thank you I’m being SO brave about this rn #Anyway I’m still coming down from the near panic attack I had before I called her to tell her lmao #It’s been a rough 24 hours. I’m fine (lying) #I’ll BE fine now that I don’t have to talk to angry customers on the phone tho 🥰

[virgoevenus]

#brie speaks #polls #leaning towards the former but . im hearing the people out #i’ll likely go back to cassraps in a few months but just roll with it

[thekidsarentalright]

feeling post-concert depression when i literally have another fob concert in a month is sooo funny like girl calm down can we get sad abt no more fob when it actually counts 😭

#my ass does not want to go back to normal life for a month tho i should get to see fob every other day for the rest of my life…… #i just think the no more insane amounts of seratonin is getting to me once its been a few days i’ll be over it fjrnfkdm #also to cope i think im gonna get myself better seats for minneapolis. bc im cwazy #txt

[stinkrascal]

dont think i’ll be able to finish editing n begin posting the vlad/brie backstory reprisal by the 31st like i hoped i would 🤒

#soooooo maybe i’ll push it back to january 31st instead #to give myself some time to build a queue #and now i can make a cool preview pic like how some simblrs do u know #to promo their stories before they debut!! yesss that will be so fun i think i have some ideas for what i wanna do for it too #it’s so close to being done u guys i can TASTE IT!!! #sry ik i talk about this project a lot w/o ever really saying anything meaningful im just AHHHHH im so excited to share it!! #ive had so much fun writing it over these few yrs. it is an extremely personal work for me #it has been very cathartic 2 write and i hope you guys can appreciate it even though i havent been a simblr for months atp 😭❤️ #ok thats all goodbye now i must go questing (go to the dispensary)

[whumpacabra]

29. 101

Angst, referenced past captivity and character death, vaguely implied past noncon

AU Masterpost / Previous / Next

Harrison felt like he woke in a dream, the blue glow of a nightlight softened by the first grey light of morning seeping through the blinds.

He wasn’t in a concrete cell where he could smell wet dog and blood and death. He wasn’t in the cramped chilly Dark of the Box. He wasn’t in the Red Room held under cruel hands.

He knew it wasn’t a dream because he wasn’t home, but he was happy to remember he wasn’t in Hell either.

The soft snoring to his right came from Wolf, propped up against the side of the bed with his chin tucked to his chest. Harrison’s sleepy brain connected the dots and his gaze softened, careful to get out on the opposite side of his cot.

Maybe Wolf would be more comfortable on the cot tonight? God knew he had a good enough reason to hate the bed. And Harrison would be lying if he wasn’t a little jealous of the soft mattress and plush pillows.

Wolf shifted as Harrison crept from the room, but he didn’t seem to stir. Harrison hoped he got some of the rest he clearly needed to heal.

Harrison for his part felt stable. The sickness in his lungs still rattled, but his fever had broken. His stomach had kept down the water and mild meal Dan had provided the night before, and now the hunger in his gut was alive and well.

It was still early, Dan’s bedroom door closed and the kitchen dim. Harrison didn’t want to ransack the poor man’s fridge and pantry or make too much noise getting himself food at this hour. Any amount of time with a clock he could watch was a luxury compared to the maddening Dark of the Box.

(It was 5:30 - Harrison used to get up around this time to go for a run with Elias and Orson. Elias was always the fastest son of a bitch on the team.)

Some rummaging in the kitchen drawers produced a pad of paper and a pen. The perfect weapons in his shaky fingers.

The tangle of dog tags from his coat pockets rattled softly on the table. He wrote down his own squad’s first, along with rough estimates of their deaths.

(Harrison had met Merrick’s wife before. They had a toddler named Alex - she was Deaf but learning sign just fine.)

He choked down the sob in his throat, taking a breath to steady himself. He couldn’t drown in nostalgia and grief now. He had work to do.

The tags weren’t detailed: name, rank, and ID number on one side, blood type and religious affiliation on the other. Harrison tried not to keep track as he wrote them down, but he could tell they were mostly low rank officiers. Greenhorns and fresh faced recruits - often minorities based on the names and religious affiliations. The rage curdling in his gut was addictive.

For a moment, he didn’t care what consequences his family could face; he needed justice for these people. For Luca Karim, for Riley Siebert, for Mahmoud Al-Bashir -

He flinched at the creaking of a door, looking up as Dan wandered from his bedroom to the kitchen. The old man’s thick white eyebrows were furrowed above curious eyes. Harrison went back to his task. He was nearly done.

“Christ alive…” His accent was thick as he muttered. The table was all but covered in tags, neatly lined up in rows. Harrison finished writing and sat back with a sigh, Dan hovering over his shoulder. “How many?”

“Too many.” Harrison’s eyes skimmed his list, taking up two pages of the college ruled paper. “Hundred and one. Like the Dalmatians.” That was all that came to mind as a her wrote an circled the number. It was too many.

“They won’t get away with this, son.”

“I think they kinda have.” Harrison scoffed, carefully collecting the tags, his own burning against his chest.

“A hundred odd soldiers don’t just go missing.”

“A squad here, a patrol there…they add up. And it’s easy to lose track of bodies, especially these days.”

“Could there be others?” There was a thread of Crazy Dan’s intensity, that sharp and focused mania that Harrison had been on the receiving end of when Wolf was bleeding out in his garage. “Others still alive?”

“Not where we were at.” Harrison rubbed Elias’ tags between his fingers. “It wasn’t very large - not where we were being held.”

“Then all of these…they were before you?” Dan had the same question in his eyes Harrison had been asking himself as he ran through the names.

Was one of these dead men Wolf?

“I assume so.” Harrison held the tags in his hands. How many families buried empty caskets because the government they were sworn to serve stabbed them in the back? He scrubbed a hand over his face with a sigh. “Wolf…might know more. Maybe.”

“He still asleep?”

“Think so.” Harrison nodded to the door, though he was unable to hear the soft snoring that had woken him. “Didn’t like the bed - his neck’s gonna be killing him later.” Dan huffed, tossing old grinds from the coffee maker.

“Well, if you’re up for it, I was thinking of taking you two down to the diner for breakfast. Get some good food in ya.”

“I would kill for some decent coffee.”

“Diner it is then. Assuming Wolf’s up for it as well. Mer and Tom’ll be down there.”

Harrison’s gaze flicked to the bedroom door as he nodded, running his fingers over the names on the notepad. These folks wanted answers. Harrison did too - and if anyone had been in the bunker long enough to know it’s dirty secrets, it would be the Wolf.

AU Masterpost / Previous / Next

(An AU of my Freelancers series)

Taglist: @i-eat-worlds @whumpy-daydreams

#whump #angst #past captivity #past torture #implied past noncon #implied character death #<- I mean I guess it’s implied that all those tags are from dead men. which yeah. #freelancers au #gonna take a break in January btw. probably not the whole month but a few weeks for sure. #dinnae worry I’ll be posting these when I get the chance #and I’ll probably be back at full steam for febuwhump assumin the prompts tickle my fancy

[anti-dazai-blog]

Thank you to everyone who got me to 2500 likes!

#2500 likes #tumblr milestone #thank you #Wow #when I started this blog I thought I’d get bored of it after covering the first ~3 chapters in the anti dazai series #never thought I’d be dedicated to insulting an anime prettyboy for this long #Thank you so much to all my mutuals and to all the people who appear frequently in my notes #I love you all so much. I love you so so much and I appreciate all of you #I might not interact with y’all as much as I’d like to. But trust me I see you in my notes. I see you and I am filled with joy and happines #Thank you for enjoying my blog. The anti-dazai series will continue!! #I haven’t posted in months because of school. But midwinter break is coming up #Just a few more weeks. Maybe around a month? And then I’ll be back with the rest of the guild arc #There’s very little Dazai content after that because most of the stuff he appears in is Dazai/Fyodor mind games #In the cannibalism arc and the hunting dogs arc etc etc #So let’s see where things go from there

[kicktwine]

snaps awake. I was right about the mind electric. Hold on. Hold on

#Wait hold on give me #like #a few days maybe weeks maybe a month or two I’ll be back #be right back #kipspeak #mmmmmmmmm shadowbringers

[deus-ex-mona]

starting the year ✨wrong✨

#(this is about work ok. long rant in the tags bc auauauauauauauuauauauauauauauaaaaaaaa) #i’ve worked for just t h r e e (3!!!!) days this year and i think im already all burned out lmao #first i was stuck doing 2 workstations bc this freakin’ b o z o of a coworker decided to take the week off without prior notice #and *t h e n* the internal components of one of said workstations kicked the bucket and was only replaced today. sads. #rip to our wasted time and futile fixing efforts though. flashtag wetried #that’s not all t h o u g h i was told that i have to jump to the other work shift bc one of my coworkers is resigning #b u t the thing is. all of the other dudes in that shift are from [insert bordering country] and always speak in their nation’s language #so i won’t be able to communicate well with them for the most part ​esp s o bs #and if [insert country here] has a national holiday and a l l of them decide to take the day off.. #well. um. ahahahaha. im ✨screwed✨ #(but speaking of taking the day off… one of said guys on that shift has an approved leave for cny. which is funny bc he’s not even chinese) #(rips if the actual other chinese dude on that team has his leave request rejected bc of that guy lol. happy cny to him ig) #a n d also i was made to (sorta) teach these two new coworkers (of sorts) the workstation i’m at for the week #b u t the thing is. i do everything here by left (didn’t receive formal training either lmao sadge) #and i also couldn’t explain anything well in general bc it seems like my flow of thoughts can’t streamline itself ig #so i think i confused the poor guys more than anything. but like. why me??????? aaaauauaaaaaaaaaa #idk why one of them came back for more ‘education’ from me thoughhhhh #i’ve tried teaching ‘em stuff at another workstation before this and my feedback was ‘wait slow down you talk too fast’ s o o o o . #ig i’ll have to guide them though again in the morning though. sighs. this wasnt in my job description :( #speaking of job descriptions though… this h e l l a annoying guy no one likes who resigned a few months ago (to much rejoicing)… #is!!!!! coming!!!! back!!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa #w h y. like. w h y. why is he so attached to this company he l l o? why is our manager so attached to him helloooooooo????? why him??????? #our workloads literally t r i p l e when he’s around bc he’s just the way he is. auauauauauauauauaaaaaaaaaaaa #aaaaaaaaaaa i dont wanna work aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa #science industry (derogatory) questionable laboratory conditions (derogatory) #felt cute; thought about retiring early idk

[grittyreadsfic]

besties, we’re so back

#i have perhaps written 15k+ in less than two weeks after pretty much not writing for 6 months #a bitch will be back on ao3 in the new year it appears #maybe one day i’ll finish reading my marked for later from the last few months too #gonna try and post more on the new year xoxo

[lesbiansanemi]

Bad day. Horrible awful terrible bad day

#there’s not even a reason. nothing bad has actually happened #it just FUCKING SUCKS #I want to walk into a lake and never come back #I want to take my brain out of my skull and throw it at a wall and watch it splatter #I know today sucks because I’m so tense and upset that my back HURTS so fucking bad #cuz when this happens I tense up and my back muscles decide to coil around my spine and squeeze like a starving snake #it’s spreading through my shoulders and even to my chest which is a first #I just 😭😭😭 I want to go home except home also sucks cuz roommate #and I know he’ll be out in a few days but that feels like forever #and I’m so tired and I’m so upset and I want to curl up in a ball and cry and hide from the world #but I’m working a 7 day stretch at my job #and I have to transfer the power and internet to my name sometime before Wednesday #and I’m so sick of takeout the idea of eating it makes me want to vomit but I can’t physically bring myself to cook while they’re there #and I just. ugh. UGH #I’m so sick of existing #why does my life only allow me small handfuls of months at a time #where I’m not living in some form of disaster and stressed to all hell and back and just wanting to lay down and die #what did I do so wrong. what have I done to deserve all this shit #in my short terrible miserable fucking life #whatever I’ll just go home and stare at the wall #and then go to bed and come to work and come to work and come to work there’s always going to work #I’m going to fucking scream I hate my brain #why can’t it just regulate itself in a normal way cuz that’s the thing I know I’m being insane and nothing is actually this bad #but man if it doesn’t fucking feel that way #and being aware I’m being batshit really doesn’t make it better actually I think it makes it worse #kaz rambles

[bright-and-burning]

[for context one of the more senior staff said he’d do something for this project (due TOMORROW) with that Hell Database that im kind of in charge of. like volunteered for it.] literally this morning i told one of my fellow young people coworkers like “im kind of worried [senior staff guy] isn’t gonna be able to figure it out and it’s gonna get dumped on me last minute lol”

just got a message from senior staff guy. “are you familiar with the process of pulling [hell data] for this project? from running the scripts to making the map. and do you know where all the output files are saved?”

like. lmfao. lmfaooooooo. what did i sayyyyy. what did i SAY!!

he just sent a follow up (i explained the process. well no actually i said hey if you look at the documentation and code it kind of explains what to do. and then explained a little more. and then half offered to just do it myself) and he was like “it would be great if you could do it. once you figure it out, could you let me know? i think [boss] wanted it tomorrow. i will keep exploring and check back in later.”

#WHATEVER. back to da grind #he like originally kind of helped set up hell database a few years ago so when he volunteered i was like #ok maybe he knows what’s up that’d be nice #i should’ve just been like nono i’ll do it. cuz then i would’ve had a few days at least. jesus christ #this is why i think i could run an f1 team like the MARINES. why am i keeping this department half afloat #literally not even four months in #jk it’s not like that bad like my workload is chill #but girlllll why am i in charge of so many things!!! i should get a raise!!