#but I think I wouldnt? idk. maybe I would. but either way I was just doing this as a test I dont think I'd want the same composition anyway

[deoidesign]

important distinction.

Testing a few different things with this one

#I spent straight up 5 hours testing out and trying to use different animation programs and you know what #they all suck all the fun out of it for me. frame by fram 4 ever yaaa #anyways I'm thinking about trying to make like an animated short or something. might get some voice actors and everything #extremely excited thinking about it #however I fucked up super hard and I accidentally overwrote my original file with my reduced size version. so #I only have this like 500px version of this now #so if I were to use this clip I'd have to redo it anyways #but I think I wouldnt? idk. maybe I would. but either way I was just doing this as a test I dont think I'd want the same composition anyway #this is what I am telling myself so I dont get sad losing that file WHWLJGLJGLKSJG I am extremely sad about it but. its okay. #ok anyways #animated gif #2d animation #my art #digital art #ocs #my ocs #time and time again #animated #animation #gif #rough animation #adam #ttawebcomic

[identityquest]

lizzie get two wolves 👍

#strato.txt #oil painting #wip #im worried ive unbalanced the composition w the second one on the right tho... its so much closer to the edge #ugh whatever. aunt lizzie is the focus here #i wish i knew what she actually looked like this is just cobbled together from general features of my family #solid build... dark curly hair... bigass ears. she could be one of my cousins. she could be me #ok rq im gonna lay out the story in the tags for anyone who hasnt seen the previous lizzie art #my great-something aunt lizzie was disabled and couldnt walk very well and she died young #she wanted to see the second floor of the farm house real bad but no one ever carried her up there and she died before seeing it #they buried her in a long white dress somewhere down at the creek. we dont know where her graves lost unfortunately #the night she was buried something wearing a white dress walked into the house and up the stairs and disappeared #and sometimes you can hear her down around the creek screaming #somewhere along the line wolves got mixed into the imagery for me #my uncle told me a story about another 'white thing' that was wolfish and would jump on cars #so i just assumed lizzie was a werewolf my whole life #anyways. i think her staying after she died was a manifestation of her desire for autonomy. maybe #maybe if shed had modern accommodations she wouldnt have felt the need to stick around. or maybe she would have idk #either way i think death afforded her control over her own desires in a way she hadnt experienced before #and i think thats why she still hangs around the creek #i hope she would like this. maybe ill take it down there and leave it out for a night when its finished so she can see

[lesbiangiratina]

Missing link demo discs on yahoo auctions…

#i shant. i dont have a playstation. though i guess i wouldnt need 1 to dump the rom? #either way. buyee is blocking the auctions. idk i guess cuz its like. kind of ‘ILLEGAL’ or whatever. WHATEVER #or maybe cuz the name says not for sale? um. pretty sure thats just cuz it wasnt meant to be sold. right #idk if a demo disc would any kind of beta content i think maybe the game would just be like. a little unfinished. but like its interesting… #the manual is different at least. simpler layout with less artwork. that interests me. #oh god i need to scan the manual soon. #the kat goes meow

[tooies]

this is still literally my favourite picture ive ever taken. i dont inow what it is about it but it just feels so good to look at. so calm. so peaceful. hope and joy on planet poison sucklet

id: a photograph of a poison sucklet, a purple, vaguely star-shaped fluffy creature with two white dots for eyes and a third below as a centeal orifice, sits on a mossy and lichen-covered tree branch in the corner of the photo. the tree extends further outwards into the rest of the frame. the tree's branches are covered in moss, lichen, pale green leaves, and white flowers. the light from the sun, diffused by the overcast bright white sky, filters through the leaves, casting a soft ambient glow on the photo.

#is this image description too pretentious? idk #i dont think it is since im describing it like art since thats like. what it is #i want to make sure people can experience the image and the emotions it conveys too‚ not just know whats in it #if i just said ''a poison sucklet sitting on a flowering tree branch'' that wouldnt tell much about how the thing feels you know? #ok maybe i am being a bit pretentious #also nobody is complaining about the id. i havent even posted this yet why am i trying to justify myself so much. probably the mental ilnes #also adderall lol. i am not immune to writing too much. but this is my post. and its in the tags. so i can get away with this #if it was on another post it would be annoying and if it was in the body of the post that would be kinda weird #but here in rhe tags of my own post i may find peace in the ability to talk to myself as much as i want publicly without bothering anyone #isnt this a joy? either way uhh. #sucklet #poison sucklet #yeah thats right im using subject tags for like the first/second time ever. you all have to see my photo

[minglana]

i also know that if i went there to study a master or the equivalent of a master's degree here. that i would probably not come back here and well. that would absolutely break my fucking heart

#like imagine being in love w ur homeland(s) (respectfully and in a non-nationalistic way lmao) #and u dream of building a future here and whatnot #and then u go to the other place that feels like home but its not quite home bc its home in a way that u dont feel at home in other places #but u miss the feeling of home in the other places. and then u stay there and keep on missing ur homeland. like idk bro thats fucked up #i lived there knowing that one day or another‚ i would always come back here (as much as i hated the thought of leaving all my friends etc) #but if the opportunity i mentioned actually happened. i wouldnt even know when i would be able to come back except for maybe holidays #im thinking so ahead of myself here i know #but the thing is that if that is a possibility of being in my future (going back to the US for a few yrs) its more exciting #than whatever future i had in mind here. bc basically here i cant imagine anything else other than studying. like i genuinely cant imagine #myself working in spain. as much as i would want to. i always imagine myself just. living i guess. either in a small town #in the altoaragon/uesca or in my village in cat. #z xarre

[holytrickster]

honestly i get embarrassed i don't have like. a single other interest I'm as into because i just know everyone around me is probably sick of it

#idk i probably shouldn't have to feel bad about my interests but i annoy myself like oh my god please read something else talk about.. #..something else. its not like i dont like other media; i think pathologic is really freaking cool even if i havent had the time or patience #to play either game yet; i love derry girls it's a really good show; i have this attachment to firefly despite its issues #it's not like i can't get into other things #but nothing has had the chokehold on me that the legendarium has had/still has years later and it's almost frustrating sometimes #like i used to be really into gravity falls for instance. also cuphead; also bartimaeus and lockwood and co. oh and seraphina #but while i still really like all those things and theyre nostalgic for me; i can't...so easily fall back into those worlds in the same way #maybe it is also kin related but it's almosg like i get embarrassed to be so fixated even though it's been such an enjoyable part of my life #as cheesy as that no doubt sounds. i wouldnt be the same person if somebody (i dont even remember who anymore) hadn't been like “hey.. #“..middle schooler aimenel you should read the hobbit” (actually i think i mightve read lotr first i dont remember anymore) #idk why it bugs me; why im like “oh no people will be annoyed by the constant posts” as if anyone couldnt just unfollow or block #im probably always going to be like this to some extent and i dont know why i cant stop feeling embarrassed by my attachment to certain.. #media. its not even an “oHhH nOoOo its problematic in some ways” thing because i really dont give a shit for the most part #i think its literally i feel like people are going to at a certain point go “arent you too old to like this” #which isnt even going to happen probably so i dont know why i care. i dont know why i care when im honestly cringy as shit all the time #its funny ive becomr someone a much younger me would call cringe and just trying to be special or whatever

[mejomonster]

I'm so tired

#rant #i need a break. like a big break break #i been reflecting on a lot and maybe i still give away too much of my energy despite how much Me Alone time i plan #like i very rarely have a friend who schedules time with me themselves. makes time in their schedule to accomodate when I Am free #drives themselves. who would wait and not cqncel on me if i was running 2 hours late and had to shuffle plans #(i never do that. but i hqve many friends who shuffle plans the day before the day of and for the whole week so its convienient #and works around their schedule. but for mine i set a plan and DO it qnd dont cancel on people unless im sick) #im just tired. i wanted to go somewhete big with a friend and they cqncelled and want it reschedulef #and im kinda like why dont i just fucking go alone. i have to drive hours either way #at least alone im not bending my plans over multiple days until something finallh works #i think its good to work around friends and help be flexible so yall can hang out #but like. idk ive been reflecting and notice. i do it a lot for other people #but most people i know arent doing it back for me. #i think if i told mosg of them i was busy? they wouldnt even put in the effort to reschedule. theyd just give up trying to hang out with me

[sonknuxadow]

i know everyone is mostly speculating about shadows voice actor which is understandable because hes the only new character that is 100 percent confirmed to be appearing in the next movie but now im wondering about other characters. like are we gonna see gerald or maria or amy or rouge? i feel like theres a very high chance that we'll see at least ONE of those characters and if they do appear whos gonna voice them. or i guess voice wouldnt be the right word for gerald or maria since theyre human and would be portrayed by live action actors but you get what i mean

#sonic movie spoilers #sonic 2 spoilers #im not too picky with gerald or maria to be honest #and im not too picky with amy either as long as they get an actual voice actor for her #im just curious #ACTUALLY. i think it would be fun if mike pollock had a cameo as gerald robotnik #idk if he does any live action acting but gerald probably wouldnt be a SUPER big part so maybe it wouldnt matter #if live action actors can constantly be chosen for voice roles then they can cast a voice actor for a live action role just once #its equality or whatever #and i AM picky with rouge and not in the same way i am with shadow where i have a list in my head of people i really dont want cast as her #im picky as in . theres a specific sound that a lot of people give her that i dont like and i dont want it to carry over to the movie. #like the 30 year old woman voice. i dont like it for her #shes 18 let her sound and act her age Pleaseeee

[dyketubbo]

(psst prev anon here, sorry for going on a rant in your inbox but i have genuinely been scared to post that and have been thinking about it for months. no pressure to respond at all, it just sorta spilled out when i wanted to express support. i hope you have a good day!)

(i did read the og ask, just dont have much of a structured response) no worries! i appreciate it a lot haha, hope you have a good day too ^^ and yeah i get being scared its. a scary fucking world in this fandom sometimes

#definitely agree that yeah like. ugnenwghn the platonic soulmates shit and calling it a headcanon felt like. the wrong direction to take #and not really a good way to portray qprs . obviously theres a wide range of what qprs are like and to each their own #but idk. it felt like qprs were being treated as either a joke or a shield to hide behind so they wouldnt look weird for being shippers #(and for the record while i know qprs are Allowed by boundaries i still think anyone fullout shipping ctechza is weird) #(like. obvs characters are separate from ccs but the way those characters interact is influenced by the ccs relationship and.) #(i dunno. it just irks me. not in a i think this is a strict moral wrong thing just in that i think its weird and uncomfortable) #(what i do find morally weird though is making fun of the fact that it toes the line and makes ppl uncomfy though) #(i think maybe. it would be nice if people were not mocked for being uncomfortable with a ship ykwim) #but. etc etc blah blah blah that wasnt a great time for qpr rep #but im tired and i dont know how to fully word that correctly dont hold it against me #angel answers

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Someone help me out here please

I work at a summer camp, and at this camp we tell a legend at the end of every week, a fantastical story about the origins of camp. A very fun, very important part of camp. The story means a fuckton to me and a lot of people.

A part of why it means a fuckton to me is because a woman I used to be very close with used to tell the story, and then she passed it on to me to tell.

It's a long sad story about why we're not close, but the important thing to note is, we can't talk to each other. At all. And we agreed not to pass messages through other people or anything cuz it just really hurts.

Back to the story. It's oral tradition, but I decided I wanted to collect transcripts from as many of the storytellers as I can and put them all together to help preserve it, as it's so important to camp and many people. Part of the reason I started was because that old friend of mine gave me a transcript of the story. It means a lot to me because of her, I started this important project because of her, she's a big part of it even though she doesn't know it.

Soon I'm going to send the various transcripts I've collected to the people that have helped me. Everyone that's given me a story will receive the entire set I've collected and have access to it forever and ever, to see the new stories and watch the history grow. I think it'll be really super fucking cool.

The thing is. I believe that old friend deserves to have access to it all too. After all, she was such a big part of it. However, according to the promise that we made, I can't contact her either directly or indirectly. So I don't think I can just email her the transcripts with everyone else or give it to someone to pass on to her. Right?

I'm torn because:

She deserves to have this part of camp history because I know how important it is to her and how much she would love to see it grow. She really loves the story and she helped so much with the project, even if she doesn't know it. But she deserves to know it and it doesn't feel right to leave her out of this.

BUT at the beginning of the whole document I'm going to write a quick preface explaining the project and thanking those that have helped and etc. I have to thank her in that, everyone that gains access to the document should know how much she impacted it. But if she reads that from me, it might be too much. If I just sent her the stories, maybe, maybe that might be okay. But the foreword has to be included and she has to be included in it, but we agreed not to contact each other and her seeing that foreword might break the promise, if sending the document doesn't. Just sending the document would probably even break it.

She deserves to have it, but she doesn't deserve to have her trust in me broken, and I'm afraid that she'll be hurt by being left out, but also she might be hurt if I send it.

I texted my best friend, who's friends with both of us, and he said that I should just send it. But the is a really big, important thing that I could easily fuck up if I'm not careful. Do I play it safe and not send it, leaving her out even though I know that's not fair to her? Or do I take a risk and send it, even though it might hurt her?

#only two people know about why we cant talk #and thats my best friend and my girlfriend #both of them are friends with us both and theyve requested to be left out of any communication or problems between us #i only asked my best friend because he helps me think rationally and hes okay with smaller questions like that #but he wouldnt reach out to her to kind of get a feel for how she'd feel or anything. neither would my gf #and i fully understand and respect that #my best friend said he thinks i should just send it but idk if hes right #that old friend and i... theres a small possibility that eventually we could be friends again #if i dont fuck it up before then #but i honestly dont know what to do right now. i think either way i could fuck it up #this project has been such a source of happiness for me and finally i get to share it with people that have the same passion for it #but i remember through the entire process #i kept wishing that she couldve been there helping me #i knew she wouldve loved it and been so good at it and helpful #this couldve been ours. it made sense for it to be ours. it should have been ours #im so proud of what i did. and she helped. she doesnt know it but she helped so much #without her this wouldnt have happened #she deserves to know that. but im so afraid of what could happen #if i send it theres no going back. and maybe she wont consider it communication and she'll just appreciate it #or maybe she'll see it as disrespectful and there goes all possibility of us ever having a relationship again #but maybe she'll see it as disrespectful if i dont share it or give her credit. and she deserves credit. she deserves to see this #but i honestly have no idea one way or the other. what's the right answer? what do i do? #if y'all have some insight please lmk #i cant think rationally rn and i can't really talk to my best friend or gf about it #i was so excited until i realized i have to make this decision and now i have the anxiety shakes #im still excited. but also terrified. and shaking #help please

[mieczyhale]

the real steve rogers is trapped in a prison on the moon

hotel oblivion is (in the comics) a prison on the moon

therefore steve rogers could totally be trapped in hotel oblivion and i cant believe i didn't find this way to connect my interests earlier

#its a prison for criminals but steve fits in the ways that would count i think #he's gone against his country's government - world governments too - he's saved the world from aliens and certain aliens might not #vibe with that fact. i think if you take those things + reggie is an alien who built and operates hotel oblivion #+ he's rich so either he could be bribed to take in someone that maybe wouldnt necessarily have ended up there #OR he could offer money or literally anything an alien species might need if they let him take steve rogers off their hands #perhaps the skrulls and reggie already had some kind of deal and have worked together before #idk those are just a few possible 'explanations' i guess??? for how steve would end up at a facility specifically for criminals #aside from like.. the real steve IS a fugitive at the point he gets replaced - and he's not a normal human so specialized prison #on the moon it is?? steve isnt even from the umbrella dimension anyway so... idk idk #but im sitting on this fandom crossover hill now and no one can relocate me #skrull!steve #mytuaposts #mymcuposts #maison speaks

[sleepdeprived-idiot]

the feminine urge to be a femboy

#idk either #i think id be more happy being feminine as a guy than as a women #idk #but also #maybe its the internalized misogeny? (idk how to write it im tired) #just #im fine being the way i am #but if i was exactly the way i am but as guy i think that wouldnt be so bad either #hhhh when will we achieve body switch technology pls pls pls pls #i think the only way to find out would be to try for a week or so but thats not possible sadge #sadly binding etc wont help me find out either cause i genuinely dont give a shit about my chest and stuff #like that just doesnt register in my brain as sth different in my body #idk if that makes sense #but thinking about having a deeper voice... more hairy legs... maybe stubble.. #but then again not always like hh #i just wanna try it for one day uighghghgh

[strawbebyjam]

need someone to take the ex RO trope away from me

#every single time i’m like Yes. Yes This Is Helping. Yes I Feel Stronger. Y- [passes out sobbing] #i mean it’s delicious angst but i’m a hurtcomfort demon and hurtcomfort is not the genre of my life so it just ends up making me feel crappy #but it’s sooooooooooo. like i love it. and the. like the lingering sense of But Maybe and the way it’s validated in games. and th- #like i need someone to come over and blacklist all lovers to strangers to lovers content it is NOT good for me ‼️ [continues reading] #anyways everything feels bad again and i can’t do anything about it and my escapism all reminds me of it and the news is horrible and home #is horrible and uni is horrible and social stuff is horrible #and being this hopeless and negative about everything makes me feel entirely un-myself but i haven’t been myself in weeks #and i don’t know what being myself looks like in tbe midst of all this #and i’m working really hard to be good about it but then i think like this and it crumbles HDJDHD #going to my highschool reunion tomorrow where not a single teacher or classmate will remember or recognize me. that’s exciting #also been repeatedlyjaving the thought that id just be fine with it now to be some random mans nonsexualhousewife. family would ve happy. #and i wouldnt have 2 get a job and id just have to take care of a house. like as long as i can find sum1 who doesnt want sex it could work #and id never have to worry abt being alone again even if itd suck and id hate myself forever. but no job. n happy family #idk i promised myself i wouldnt like. give up like this. but i dontsee any other situation that doesnt end in me #like left entirely alone? i either give up family for the possibility of a fulfilling life as a lesbian but only certain ill be alone #or i try and make the best of things and make like. doing what they want. livable #anyways. back to the same dilemma as 14 year old me but this time knlwing im a lesbian and not bi. so theres not even a chance ill be happy #fun times #mano.mindtalk #neg

[arolesbianism]

Thinking abt reworking Uni a bit. I do love Uni conceptually and as a character, but I've become increasingly uncomfortable with their story in the state that it's in, mostly because of how completely it removes Aris from the equation. I'm hoping to not completely scrap Uni, but I'm going to start brainstorming ways to also include au Aris as an actual character that's involved in au antag stuff instead of just a backstory character for Uni

#rat rambles #oc posting #eternal gales #my main problem with fully killing au aris is that it just feels like. rly uncomfortable to me to remove her agency like that #again Im hoping to keep uni around in at least some form but I rly think I need to prioritize au aris' agency #mmmmaybe it could be like. uni initially was stuck in her body but after they got involved in au antag stuff au aris managed to get back to #the helm of things and has to deal with the concequences of her death and of uni's actions while also wrangling uni themself #this could be a decent comprimise since itd both let uni have their character arc while also giving au aris her own #itd also allow for me to dodge my previous problem with just not knowing how to make an antagonist version of aris that isnt boring #since she wouldnt necesarily need to be even slightly antagonistic for this to work #buttttt. this would require uni to still be in the drivers seat for at least a lil while to undergo their initial stuff #that might not sound like too much at first thought but I know in practice thatd still be a good way into the story #I thinkkkkk shed still have room to breath since this is a chonky story already but I still worry #maybe I should work on further developing au aris' backstory and such first since that might give me more ideas #I have a handful of vague ideas but rly the only set in stone thing is that shes abt a year or two younger than main universe aris #the main decision I have to make is if her universe will be more canon adjacent or if I get wild with it #I am tempted to go more sci fi ngl #plus thatd give me an excuse to dive more into my bird aliens + maybe even include the staliens in her lore #idk Ill sleep on it and hopefully have more ideas tomorrow #either way thisll probably take at least a lil while of brainstorming and plotting things out so Ill try to not rush myself on it too much

[fluffyartbl0g]

Redraw of the panels that SHATTERED MY HEART o(；△；)o!!! OG panels + Opinions on the Luffy separation arc under read more

Okay let me just go on a tangent about my feelings about the post-series Luffy separation arc, cause I think it gets way too much hate when it’s such a heartbreaking and well executed deviation from oda’s standard formula!!! I know that we all love monkey d. luffy and he’s LITERALLY the main character of the series, but it was also really nice to get more time to focus on the rest of the crew. But here’s the thing, even when Luffy wasn’t here, he was still here. And I’m not talking about the so called ‘blessings’ or whatever that kept SUSPICIOUSLY popping up around the crew when Luffy disappeared, I’m talking about the consequences that arised from him disappearing. We truly got to see how grand the effect luffy has had on the world around him, and how many lives he was able to touch ; - ; So even though luffy physically wasn’t present (I mean KIND OF but you know what I mean), this was still VERY MUCH a luffy arc imo. 

Oh man but I think Oda wrote luffy’s disappearance so well,,, I was sobbing for like 80 percent of this arc. Like just gradually seeing the crew’s deterioration as time passes by,,, but everyone has such unwavering faith in their captain, he HAS to come back cause Luffy always comes back. But here’s the thing, Luffy didn’t know what was happening to him when he started disappearing. But what he DID know is that he wasn’t sure if he was gonna be able to come back or not. And Luffy hates breaking promises- he’d never make a promise if he didn’t plan to keep it, and he’s not an idiot either, so when he just felt himself disappearing and saw zoro nearby... Instead of saying something like “I’ll be back!” and potentially making his crewmates wait for him forever, he tells zoro to “take care of the crew”... SOBBING AND CRYING T - T. So YES. the crew has unwavering faith in their captain. But. Luffy didnt say that he’d be coming back or anything. So what are they supposed to do really.

And it’s really hard to read at some parts, like it never loses the goofy tone that has been there throughout all of one piece and it’s really sweet to see everyone rely on each other to keep one another afloat, but the slight tension that keeps building up over the months while they keep looking for clues and answers... And how each lead keeps becoming a dead end... When it builds up and Usopp finally voices the thing that’s on everyone’s mind.

Oh man. I started crying so hard. It took 6 month for any one of them to say something. Like this is One piece. Of course Luffy is gonna come back eventually, it would be waay too dark otherwise... But Idk man, even I started to doubt that :((( But luckily. THIS IS ONE PIECE. So right after everyone started,,, well not exactly losing hope or anything (maybe a bit)? but going BATSHIT INSANE FROM THE REALITY THAT THEIR CAPTAIN MIGHT BE GONE FOR GOOD, they finally got a solid actual clue of what might’ve happened to luffy!!! And I’m SO GLADDDD!!!!

Omg and when they tracked down the pray-pray no mi user and finally got some answers out of him. OMG WAIT A MOMENT I REALLY LIKED IS WHEN PRIEST GUY IS LIKE “urerheg without luffy up there as a god the entire world may very well be destroyed cause the sun has been super unstable for centuries blah blah” and then Nami freaking PUMMELED THE GUY AND SHOVED HIM DOWN WITH HER STAFF AND

SOBBING CRYING SOBBING. THEY WOULD POTENTIALLY BLOW UP THE ENTIRE WORLD IF IT MEANT THAT THEIR CAPTAIN WOULDNT HAVE TO BE LONELY ; - ; KILL ME.

URGH I was really hoping that Luffy would return right once they beat him up cause I really really missed my boy, but honestly I think the final method of getting Luffy to return was super clever and absolutely worth the extra 3 weeks of waiting!!! I know that it was foreshadowed across the whole West Blue Saga and everything but I honestly had no clue it would end like that, DONT MAKE FUN OF ME :(((

When the crew finally got their captain back after 8 months of waiting... I mean they’ve been separated before for even longer periods of time, but they always knew that they’d be back together. This time they didn’t know. BUT AREHAHRGE ALL THE PAIN AND SUFFERING WAS SO WORTHIT WHEN THEY ALL FINALLY REUNITED T - T!!!!!! UWAHHWHAHWUAAGGHA!!! AND SEEING ALL THEIR ALLIES AND FRIENDS THEYVE MADE JUST CHEER AND CRY WHEN THEY HEAR THE NEWS!!!! I WOULD CHUCK ALL THE PANELS HERE IF I COULD BUT ID JUS T REACH THE IMAGE LIMIT BECAUSE ALL OF THEM MADE ME CRY ; - ;!!! Literally just read those 5 chapters in the arc finale cause,,,, man so good T - T

Anyways TLDR: The post-series luffy seperation arc is NOT BAD and you guys are JUST COWARDS AND LIARS!!!!

#tw unreality #post-series #one piece #op fanart #monkey d. luffy #roronoa zoro #zolu #nami #usopp #straw hat pirates #gear 5 luffy #op spoilers #one piece spoilers #wano spoilers #please dni if ur a post-series one piece hater >:( #this is a post-series POSITIVE post only!!! Feel free to gush about other post-series arcs that you like on this post :D!!! #(for that person i scared: i put tw unreality higher just 4 u :3)

[deformedcat]

The 5 love language

pairing: artist male y/n x childhood friend oc

warning: vomiting, stalking, obsessive behaviour, gore, open ending, not proof read, v rushed 📣📣

Valentine's Day, a day to spend with your loved ones, something you didn't have.

Forget spending Valentine's day with anyone- you had work at the convenience store. Sure, you're an artist, but money won't magically appear onto your kitchen counter.

Despite that, it didn't bother you as much as the sight you saw around you that day. (though bother might not be fitting, more like envious) There were couples everywhere on dates, holding hand and showing their affection towards each other. Bleh. (translation: when is it my turn?)

Either way, you could complain all you want but life still goes on. Sighing, you walk towards your apartment, staring down at your phone to avoid the sights of couples. It wasn't until an envelope at your door caught your attention.

The envelope had a simple yet design with a heart shape sticker on it, you hesitantly take it and enter your apartment.

After sitting on your couch for abit, you cautiously and gradually opens the letter, wary of any potential pranks, but nothing happened.

"Dear y/n

Happy Valentine's day, well, it's not Valentine's day yet but it will be soon.

I've always had a big crush on you, but i never gotten the chance to confess to you directly. Truth to be told, i'm not a courageous person, but you give me the strength to do so today :).

You are the most strongest, admirable person I've met. Whenever i listen to your music, I'm hit in awe with how talented you are. I fall even harder everytime i see you. Your presence is already enough for me to keep going.

Do you know the saying "the 5 love language"? They are words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. I would love to know which one is your love language, but instead of asking, I want to let you experience all of them. I aim to make you feel loved in every way possible, starting with words of affirmation!"

..Ah.

A secret admirer,,?

You honestly didn't know something so cliche that would be done in a high school romance movie would happened to yourself, in real life.

The rest of the kettle had you fuming like a kettle, was this person a fan of poets? They sure had their way with words.

As sweet as the letter sounds, you couldnt help but feel crept out by this, how much does this person knows you? Do you even know this person?

You could only hope that it's not someone creepy, like a stalker.. You opened your phone and take a picture of the letter, sending it to your childhood bestfriend.

y/n:

photo.jpeg

hyeon:

?

what's this?

y/n:

love letter,

saw it in front of my

apartment

hyeon:

does someone have a lil crush on little y/n :0?

y/n:

hyeon:

Daniel's got a competitor 😄

y/n:

NEVER

im forever loyal to daniel

👎👎

hyeon:

haha

why are you showing me this?

y/n:

idk

felt a lil crept out

dont u think its weird??

how did they know where i lived? idfk who they are

hyeon:

hmm, thats true.

maybe it's a neighbour? they mentioned they could hear your music, they might be living around your area ?

y/n:

that make it even worse

hyeon:

lock your doors and windows, you wouldnt want to entice your little 'admirer' to break in do you?

y/n:

gtg, bye

hyeon:

i was just joking D:!

I'll be back from Russia soon, i promise <3

y/n

mm, maybe dont.

take care tho

A few days went by and nothing happened, you were beginning to wonder if the letter was just a prank from the kids around the area.

Regardless, you didn't care, you were to tired from your work ealier. Getting yelled at by your manager in front of the customers, for something rather silly. (you looked really tired but manager took it as "mf u dont like ur work isit) This was far fron the first time, and not the worst thing that had happened, but it didn't make it less draining.

you went into your apartment, turned on the light and fell right onto your couch. Rent was due in 3 weeks,, you were mentally preparing yourself to starve for the next few days to be able to have a roof under your head.

everything was tiring you out, and you just want a car to come running into you already, but the house isn't going to clean itself. You had to do chores because you have been putting off chores for a few days now. It's going to pile up the more you tell yourself "i'll do it tomorrow." so you pushes your body off the couch to start.

maybe you can start by taking out the trash.

problem was, the trash was missing. you stared at the empty, new plastic bag over the trash you didn't remember replacing. are you hallucinating?

you went over the sink to wash the dishes, to find them cleaned and kept neatly inside the cabinet. huh.

you must be going crazy, you were sure you did not wash those dishes nor keep them. even if you did, you wouldn't store them as neat as this.

are you going insane?

you quickly check the laundry, and sure enough, they were all done up. the dirty clothes were washed, the one that you didn't bother folding was folded and put away in your bedroom. Neatly.

was your landlord here this morning? Even if he was, he wouls never done something like this. He only ever told you to stop being so lazy and clean the messy apartment. He even once demanded you to clean everything up while be watched but thats it.

you hit your head against the wall, hard, to check if you had not actually fallen asleep on the couch and this was all just a dream. you winced at the pain on your forehead, that sure gave you an answer that youre not hallucinating.

maybe you're just overworked..?

you sat on your bed, noticing a familiar envelope with another sticker on your pillow.

what the fuck.

you opened the envelope, which in it read,

"dear y/n,

Surprise, it's an act of service this time! you're so hardworking that you tire yourself out,, so i decided to do somethinf to lighten the load for you. Remember to take a break when you need it okay?

I also cooked dinner for you, it's your favourite :). They're in the fridge, please enjoy, it's not healthy to starve yourself.

Eternally yours,

Your secret admirer 💌"

you wanted to kill yourself.

your stalker is in fact, a stalker.

how did they get in your house?

how did they know your habits?

you didn't even bother eating the food in the fridge, letting it sit there as you spend the night searching for cameras in your house.

y/n:

hyeon,

they broke in

the mf that sent the letter broke in

photo.jpeg

hyeon:

broke in?

how? didn't i told you to lock the doors and windows?

y/n:

idfk hyeon

they broke in and like

did my chores

and even cook dinner for me

saying its an act of service

hyeon:

are you safe?

y/n:

i dont know am i

i know this sounds weird af but im

not joking

i dont feel safe in my house rn

hyeon:

call the police.

y/n:

with what evidence

tell them that someone sent two envelope, broke into my bouse, did my chores and cooked a meal for me??

ill sound like a maniac

then they'll send me to a mental hospital

hyeon:

you'll never know unless you try,

y/n, this sound dangerous, your life could be on the line bere.

please just call the police and see if they can do anything about it.

do you still have that previous letter with you?

y/n:

yeah

hyeon:

show that to them, including the new one.

y/n:

ok

ill try

hyeon:

okay.

i wish i wasnt in russia right now.

im so sorry, please wait a bit more, ill come back soon.

update me whenever you can.

y/n:

dont be sorry,

thank you.

you never had a peaceful sleep for the next few days, the only thing keeping you sane is messaging hyeon everyday.

you have been so worn out from what happened that night. you had gone to the police, but after they didnt found anything suspicious in your house besides the two letter, they then left and told you to contact them if anything happened.

useless. you texted to hyeon.

neither did the police nor you could find any hidden cameras around your house, but that didnt mean you were safe. they could missed them, or not search at the right place.

you were sitting on your couch, scrolling down your phone to distract what had happened. suddenly, someone knocked on your door.

you groaned, thinking it was your landlord, you got up, walked to your door and peek from the peephole. nobody was there.

you opened the door slowly, immediately notices the stench behind the door. sitting on the floor in the dark hallway were two boxes wrapped like gifts with a gold ribbon.

crimson liquid was seeping through the boxes, on top of one of the box was an envelope, the one you had received a few days prior.

you suppressed the urge to throw up as you felt your breath getting quicker and shallower. you opened your phone and called the police and messaged hyeon

y/n

hyeon

when the polices arrived, they opened the boxes and envelope. one of the polices seems panickes and quickly rushes to you bringing the envelope, making you read it.

"Dear y/n,

Two, the number of hands one would need to do a heart, i thought it would be romantic to give you two gifts. After all, what's Valentine's day without gifts?

I've seen the way those two treated you, i couldnt stand watching them mistreated you. How prideful that human trash must be to push all his mistakes onto you then punishes you? Just because he's a manager? You don't deserve that, dear, so, this is for you.

And that bastard landlord of yours, the way he stares at you and put his hand at you is so disgusting. If he's gonna look at you like that, he don't deserve his eyes. Just because he's your landlord, does not mean he can put his hand on you like that, so i cut them off.

i hope you enjoy the gifts, dear. I guess this can be considered to be acts of service too? I look foward to spending some quality time with you. I can't wait to finally have you in my arm.

ps. inside the hand of your manager is a necklace. <3

Eternally yours,

Your secret admirer 💌"

you glanced at the content of the boxes, puking at the side after seeing the blood hand of your manager and your landlord's head with his eyes gouge out.

you felt helpless.

you had nowhere to go.

you didnt wanna stay here anymore, you dont feel safe anywhere.

you just want to die.

as the police patting your backs and gives you a bottle of water, you receives a text message on his phone.

hyeon:

hey, i'm here now.

i'm sorry i couldn't reply to you earlier, i just arrived in south korea.

y/n:

hyeon thank god

please

can i stay at your place for a while

i cant stay here anymore

hyeon:

Of course, i'll pick you up.

when you finally met hyeon, you collapsed into the taller man's arm, letting the tears out you have been holding in as hyeon holds you close, embracing you in much needed warmth and comfort.

"here," hyeon placed down a plate of fried rice in front of you, coincidentally it being your favourite food but you dont have any appetite after what happened.

"i can tell you havent been eating well, it's all i have at the moment, but its better than nothing."

you appreciated him, but didnt wanna eat anything at the moment, the sight of your landlors was still fresh in your mind.

"thanks, but i feel really sick right now." you felt bad for putting hyeon through the trouble, only to turn it down in the end. "i'll heat it up and have it tomorrow."

"maybe you at least drink some water?"

"sure." Hyeon was already pouring a warm cup of water for you, you were glad you at least had hyeon to come to.

you two spent a while in an awkward silence, it was like hyeon would not ask what had happened until you were ready to talk about it yourself.

"do you have work later?" you asked to distract yourself.

No, hyeon had alarms around the house. He would be notified of any suspicious activities detected.

"no, my manager said he'll take care of it."

"oh.."

then the silence were back again, until hyeon opened his mouth.

"are you going to sleep now?"

"I.." you were sure you would not be able to sleep tonight, you do not know where that stalker was, what if they too breaks into hyeon's house? will you put him in danger as well?

Even so, you're still on edge.

"do you want to share a room?"

"what?"

"you don't have to sleep alone when i'm right here for you to cuddle with!"

you sighed, "hyeon-"

"no really, maybe im just overprotective but i really dont want to leave you alone. We can catch up on the past month, and maybe if i talk enough, it might put you to sleep?"

you cried into his arms for the second time that night.

you could not remember the last time you was help to sleep, you didnt think there was ever a time actually. when he slept besides hyeon, the latter would always wrap his body around you like a koala.

not that it surprised you, hyeon had always been handsy with you ever since the two was young, but only around him.

whenever they ate together, hyeon would reach his hand out to wipe a grain of rice or a drop of sauce off your face.

whenever they play fight, hyeon would always hug you as a way to "immobilize you". when hyeon suggested decorating the house for Valentine's day to take your mind off of things, he would hold your hand and guide you through tying ribbons and hanging decorations.

And when you still couldnt stop the anxiety from rising, hyeon would hold you so close, no matter what time it is, he would remind you to breathe, and prepare plastic bags for you in case you pukes.

Heck, he even made sure that you had fallen asleep first before he would.

you felt safe by hyeon's side.

On the morning of Valentine's day, hyeon was still asleep which was expected, he had waited for you to fall asleep the night before.

You carefully and quietly slipped out of hyeon's tight hold, and headed towards the washroom, you decided to clean hyeon's office then cook a meal for him.

walking toward hyeon's office, you noticed a few paperwork on his table. It seems like it was the paperwork hyeon's had been doing last evening.

His handwriting was exceptionally neat, it had been quite some time you last seen it, but you could remember envying the man for having such a neat writing.

you noticed a half opened file on the floor, you picked it up and read the content of the files out of curiousity

they were mostly a bunch of statistics and numbers, percentages and whatnot. you wanted to stop reading but you felt drawn in his handwriting. To you, it looked familiar, like you've seen it before.

you stared longer at the words until you realized,

realized why he found it familiar.

you flipped to the next page, why did hyeon have your landlord personal informations?

you felt arms hugging you from behind, "what are you doing, snooping around my work like that? what if it's confidential?'

you didnt answer.

"y/n?" hyeon seemed to noticed you tensing up, "sorry, did i scare you that badly? you just seemed so focused on those papers, i just had to-"

"Hyeon."

"Yeah?"

You didnt know what to say, you did not know what to ask. You didnt know how to ask him.

you wish you were just dreaming.

Because.. wasnt hyeon in russia all this time?

"y/n?"

Hyeon couldnt have been in south korea. He couldnt have went into your apartment. He couldnt have place those.. letters abd boxes in your apartment if he wasnt even in the same country as you

ah.

"y/n, are you okay?"

"hyein,, can i take a look at your passport?"

"my passport? why?"

"i just want to.. confirm something."

Hyeon looked at you for a while, before letting go of you "sure, let me go get it."

As he went back to his room, you held ontobthe table tightly to avoid collapsing.

its okay.

you just had to look into his passport, then you would realize how dumb you are to suspect hyeon, the person that sheltered you when you had nowhere to go. the man that's your childhood friend who would sacrifice anything for you-

Hyeon returned, with his passport in hand. "here you go." you were about to take the passport from hum until you saw it

or more like the lack of it.

instead of handing the passport to you normally, hyeon had flipped it to the latest page. Hyeon had supposedly flew to russia first of december last year.

The last time he travelled, according to the passport,

was back in june.

"you were wondering about this, werent you?" hyeon stepped closer towards you, "when did it click?"

"your handwriting you bastard."

"ah right, that was my mistake, but dont you think it took too long for you to notice?"

Hyeon took the papers one by one, putting them together neatly, as if he was having the most normal and mundane conversation.

As if he wasnt the one that sent you all of that letters.

As if he was not the one who broke into your apartment.

As if he didnt sent that severed head and hands to you..

"i guess i should expected that, after all, i'm never the one whom you'll ever have eyes for, am i?" he smiled bitterly.

"Hyeon.." you wanted to be proven wrong, you wanted to be wrong so bad.

you wanted to believe hyeon was not capable of this.

you wanted to believe him, your closest friend, would never do such thing.

instead, you received a hug that felt so cold.

you wanted to strangle hyeon so bad. you wanted to strangle yourself.

you just felt so weak.

as much as you wanted to avoid it, the clues were all right in front of you, mocking you.

there was no one in the world who had heard and appreciated your music, who observed and knew so much of your lifestyle and habits besides ivan.

when the puzzle started coming together, you could feel yourself falling apart.

"so y/n, please tell me:

what is your favourite love language?"

you just want to die.

[draft messages]

y/n:

thanks for taking me in

im glad i hv u in my lufe

you better not tell anyone i said this,

but i dont think theres anyone else i trust

anyone else more than you

thank you.

a/n: zzzzz goodnight (disappears)

#male reader #male yandere #bottom male reader #x male reader #iwanttosleeppeladw #sub male reader #mayi'swriting—