#but I am simply EXHAUSTED

[rideroftheoctocorn]

Maybe this is my “I’m from New York so I didn’t choose to live here I was just already here” kicking in but can we actually learn to respect people’s privacy and acknowledge the fact that not everyone who lives in a major city is doing so because they want to be famous or the main character or an influencer or whatnot. I’m so sick of seeing tiktoks go viral that are just plainly stalking or doxxing random people who didn’t ask for attention or fame and are just living their lives. Especially given how many people in NYC are living with a wide variety of mental states, abilities, divergencies, and diversities treating them as a spectacle for your entertainment is deeply dehumanizing. Particularly in the past few years seeing so many content creators move here and gain their fame here it is becoming increasingly frustrating to feel like just existing in my home is not coherent with the burgeoning voyeurism culture that’s growing online. I, nor anyone who lives in a large city, should have to leave their homes every day worrying about the potential of being recorded and ridiculed online for just being a person.

People should be able to live their lives with the right to privacy. This isn’t to say that certain instances of internet activism shouldn’t have happened; for instance the Central Park bird watching incident (google it if you aren’t familiar but a woman was being racist towards a black man bird watching in central Park and his recording on the incident vindicated him). But instances like those are the exception and not the rule and many cases of publishing interpersonal conflicts/interactions is not from good faith activism or even from an activist point at all. Honestly what sparked this for me was that dumb tiktok that blew up of that girl looking for the person who kept writing “monke” on the whiteboard at her gym and the series of videos she made amassed more than 25 million views as she made a very public game out of trying to find the identity of this person. Some of her tactics included staking out at the gym waiting for this person or even asking the employees at the front desk who the person was. Maybe this person didn’t want to be a viral tiktok sensation and just wanted to write something goofy on the whiteboard at their local gym. Instead, this person has millions of strangers online seeking them out using unethical/invasive methods. All over someone who just wanted to write “monke.” Can we not just be a little silly in public without being at risk of it being the next internet sensation? If you live in a busy metropolitan area is it now your responsibility to make yourself as invisible as you can every time you step outside your front door? I genuinely leave for work each day wondering if I’ve maybe picked the wrong outfit, makeup, or maybe there’s an embarrassing stain or issue with my appearance that someone is going to see, record, and share online. I’ve even now seen TikTok’s of people recording through peoples windows commenting on how they’re living in their private lives now as well (the video in question is of a young woman recording a couple dancing through their apartment window). Even the guy who goes around “turning average people into models” initiates these videos by first taking non-consented photos of strangers on the street. Invasion is not flattery as much as people on the internet might like to think it is.

It is deeply unfair to ask human beings to live their lives in an unending panopticon. We should be able to go outside, make a joke, leave a silly note, have a bad day, an embarrassing moment, an emotional outburst, leave the curtains open with the knowledge that these moments belong to ourselves and are not suddenly (and without our consent) just become something for the masses to consume. Small spats that should remain small spats become global debates, a conventionally attractive or unattractive person becomes the internet’s object of desire or disgust. Let people exist. Let them have their dignity.

#I FUCKING HATE TIKTOK CULTURE #This is also hitting a bit close to home for me but I work at a museum and I constantly dress to hide my identity #because of how many cameras are pointed at me all day everyday #and in the year of two thousand and twenty three it’s pretty hard to be a person #so to ask people to be media ready all the time is just impractical and inhumane #we aren’t all public figures but we are now expected to be ready for that level of attention #even certain internet phenomena that came from a good faith place such as recording Karen’s as a way to combat a certain kind of a racism #was co opted by non black people to publicly shame and embarrass any older white woman they don’t like #now the entire concept of a Karen has lost its original meaning while still existing as an open threat to older women who don’t behave #as expected in public #and yes I have seen white teenage boys yelling at women calling them Karen’s for just asking them to stop being rowdy #which is anecdotal evidence so take with a grain of salt #but I am simply EXHAUSTED #apparently I need to live in the mountains if I want to live in peace #also I wrote this in like a 5 minute rage so feel free to DM me or comment if I got something wrong

[dykefaggotry]

today is my day off which i need to use to do homework, laundry, and go grocery shopping but i can already feel it’s gonna be a bad day for chronic fatigue why did god make me like this lmfaoooo

#im suffering. #it's a bad mood day In General but i'm so tired i dont wanna do anything but i have to :') #thankfully the homework is like... 1200-1800 words split into two short essays so not bad #and then watching some lectures and taking notes on it #but i am simply exhausted #i would skip grocery shopping for another day but i dont want my cats to run out of food :/d #accidentally hit d but you know what :/d is a mood also. dont know what its conveying but i feel it

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

ON THE SUBJECT OF A MARCH 1ST UPDATE LIVESTREAM.

so due to newly-employed circumstances, i most likely won't be able to stream my exploration of the update until the Sunday after it drops - March 3rd, likely around 10 am pst.

im not gonna ask anyone to wait because that's unreasonable and absurd, However! I am curious:

#im asking instead of cancelling it outright #because i know how fun it can be to see someone explore/discover/watch something youve already enjoyed #plus. if i may so bold as to say! #who knows! maybe some of you actually Want to hear me speculate and go bonkers On Mic <3 #absolutely unprompted #marked for deletion #welcome home #Why Am I Waiting Until The Third? #it will most likely be my first day off! #i dont wanna explore the update when im exhausted after a 9 hour shift lmfao #and i don't want to explore it in the morning before work when im on a crunch #i want Time! i want Energy! im gonna need all the brainpower i can cobble together! #oh man the upcoming full day of Active Avoidance #i might actually turn off my phone lmfao #bc muscle memory is gonna take me to tumblr & That has burned me so many times... #im not gonna use tumblr im not gonna use discord #im gonna queue up youtube videos so that i dont risk seeing anything on the homepage #babey im Hunkering Down! #i will simply spend my free time after work with myself. crochet. doodle. sit and stare at a wall #sob viciously bc im missing out #its interesting. so much of my life has been Being Late To The Proverbial Party & Missing Out On Experiences. #and by interesting i mean it makes me violent. sigh. but we deal! what else is there to do!

[itspileofgoodthings]

I wish Gilmore girls was not a cynical show with a mean core and I wish Rory hadn’t been a brat and that Jess and Rory had ended up together thank you this has been the 6:00 opinion hour

#lol #I liked Logan and Rory too #but with time I like Jess and Rory more and more #the reality was simply that he outgrew her and she never grew #so Logan and she match better #but I love the idea of Jess and Rory a lot they have kind of snuck up on me over the years. I think it’s just because he really loved her #and I am never immune to love that is true #nothing I say matters I’m just exhausted and chattering to myself like a toddler in the corner

[thebirdandhersong]

I am a girl with simple wants. Right now I want to go dancing, read Emma, nap for 3 hours, write poetry, and swan dive out of the nearest available window. in that order

#i dont mean to be morbid s;lkkdjf ;skdj i am simply Exhausted #the waiting room chapter

[mrcowboydeanwinchester]

omg new 10k jo/meg fic just dropped it's a homoerotic high school au with stabbing and crack but mainly lesbianism and it's called revenge for dummies also there's like awesome art for it by @keikakudom

#AND ALSO I WROTE IT FOR STABFEST IT'S SOOOOO FUN #i'll make a better promo post than this soon i am simply exhausted and need to watch doctor who asap #but YES HERE WE GO SAPPHICNATURAL GIRLIES AN EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT FOR YOU #jomeg #sapphicnatural #spn fic #jo harvelle #meg masters #ola writes

[chacerider]

Hope Is The One Universal Constant

(but it's not that easy)

#tokusatsu #ultraman #astra (ultraman) #ultraman king #ウルトラマン #art #fanart #artwork #comic #I WARNED Y'ALL ABOUT MY BRAIN GETTING STUCK AGAIN #I WARNED YOUUUU #anyway i am very proud of this boy for Talking To Five Whole People recently #BUT #there's no way this victory Simply Happened #so here is me thinking about this poor traumatized boy #and the exhaustion that is healing.

[tenspontaneite]

Ok so literally no pressure, but I do have a kofi and if anyone feels like showing appreciation for my writing or art or I guess my cat via its medium, now would be a good time because there's a thing I really want to buy and I don't have enough birthday money left over for it lmao

(the thing is an art oriented android tablet. So that I can still draw shit when post work exhaustion compels me to collapse in bed against my desire to,,, you know, draw things.)

Link to my Kofi 👌

#life of sponty #cannot emphasise enough that this is not a necessary expenses thing #this is an if you feel like tipping a very tired artist thing #like man i literally just have to collapse in the afternoon #probably at least partially post viral fatigue #never quite recovered from covid #i still get exhausted walking a 20min round trip to the pharmacy most days. wack #rehab do be slow #anyway i have enough birthday money for like two thirds of the thing #any amount of the last third that yall feel like contributing would be lovely #but if none of you are feeling it i will simply have to engage my patience gland and fucking wait a while #which i am theoretically capable of #the last third is about £100 btw #tablets are money. unfortunately

[albino-whumpee]

Me doing one adult thing: oh god, oh Jesus, I’m so exhausted. I need a nap.

#i simply took my cats to the vet #why do I always end up so exhausted? #ok sure I slept late and woke up early and had so many nightmares #but and??? #people do more and live with even worse stuff #why am i so weak? #tw vent

[blazeball]

i get on a conceptual level what tgb is trying to do with this new era; its all happening again, with a bit of a twist, and familiar old faces and game mechanics are being belched from the black hole periodically to introduce things from expansion/discipline. that's, like, fine. or it would be, if the site wasn't so fucking barebones. it has less stuff than early discipline era did; no shop, so no snake oil to work toward, no sense of progression with that. no popups telling you what you won from games you bet on. they only just added post-game summaries earlier, but you still can't see them most of the time unless you are actively watching bcos you just can't go to that tab after all the games are over. no passive income at ALL. its just, frankly, mind boggling how many quality of life features they removed. i really hope they fix it soon, bcos this will contribute to fan burnout more than 24/7/364 games ever could

#i am simply a little frustrated but like. i do have faith in tgb. i do think they'll fix all of this... eventually #i still love blaseball sooooo much i love the mints community and the tumblr community so much #but the site is borderline exhausting to keep up with. blegh #i am still keeping up with it. it makes me happy #but this is the kind of burnout i started to feel mid expansion era and its like. season fucking 2 of the new era. cmon guys #blaseball #quincy.txt

[suddencolds]

~

#not snz #more musings 📝 / mini vent: #not sure why my social battery is so limited 😭 and also so inconsistent #i feel like i can't sustain the amount of... like continued/consistent enthusiasm i see others giving esp in group settings #i just don't know how to engage in that way without burning out #over the past few weeks i've been stuck in like #a strange state where i can't muster the energy to properly respond to even the people i'm most excited to reply to #which is strange?? #(and if that is you i am sorry 😭 i love you and i will get back to you) #i think i can't even like manage to get myself into the mindset of enjoying something for myself (eg. a conversation with a friend) #i think a part of it is the stress from work leeching into my personal life #i feel like i've been working so hard and for such long hours but its the kind of work where the progress i've made is very hard to track?? #:( i just want to be off of ******* work so i can work on ******* work again #i also want to get ahead enough on everything in my life so that i write y+v D: #i feel like i haven't had a properly restful day in weeks... even over the weekend i was busy attending to others' needs #i just want a break from it all... but i dont have enough time to take off... but i dont know how much more of this i can take #i remember also feeling during uni like i was drowning #like there were simply not enough hours in a day to deliver everything i promised. it's such an awful feeling #i just feel defeated. like i've felt exhausted for weeks and weeks on end and like i spend every waking hour working on something or other #but ofc there is nothing to do but to keep at it 😭 other people can handle all of this and more #there are so many people i refuse to let down

[mintjeru]

endless suffering

open for better quality | no reposts

#xiao #genshin impact #genshin #fanart #myart #doodle #i saw this scene and my first thought was 'he's gorgeous' and then i had to snap myself out of it bc he's exhausted!! #in case my new followers do not know: i am simply incapable of sitting still when new xiao content drops #he is the love of my life i would do anything to ease his pain for the slightest amount even for a fraction of a second #i literally look forward to lantern rite every year bc of him #it's a whole thing #btw mhy when i said i wanted xiao in liyue harbor for lantern rite i did not mean Like This #i thought we were gonna go through the harbor together and see the shops and enjoy each other's company why would you do this to him #i also did a little analysis of the trailer but i am So Tired i'm gonna save it for later #and i forgot to do the 2x leyline event today smh ok i gotta go #enjoy <3

[stardustvanfleet]

hiiii my gresties….. i hope everyone’s having a good day!!! i’m in the midst of a 14 hour workday…. worked my first job 9-5 and now i’m off to my second from 5:30-11 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 please send good vibes my way….. right now the joshdown is what’s getting me through!! ily all sm

#i am so fucking exhausted. i’ve worked an 8 hour day and i do NOT feel like working another entire 6 hour shift 😭😭😭 with no break #besides the 15 minutes it takes to get home and the 5 minutes it takes to change #siiiiiigh. i wish joshy were here #li speaks #josh #BTW still finding time to work on my current josh wip and uhhhh. i may have another one in the works already too also about josh #what can i say? he simply has been making me feral lately

[thebirdandhersong]

well mark that down as situation 2938489 that I don't know how to handle

#i would love advice on this if y'all have any thoughts to share because i know what my parents think and im having trouble sorting it out #i love these three friends of mine but it is really draining to be around them now because all they will talk about is church drama #(re: our old church) and rehashing it all and being Outraged about the horrors etc etc #either that or being downright condescending about protestants/non denominations and acting like it's funny to talk like that all the time #i end up being more angry or resentful or exasperated at the end of our conversations than glad and at peace like i did before #(before all THIS ish happened and the three of them were like okay this is all we're going to talk about now) #i've tried to say in gentle ways (i am simply not capable of this kind of blunt confrontation) that maybe we should not be talking #so uncharitably towards other people especially behind their backs. like. yes bad things happened. we have to acknowledge that. #but continually making jokes and jibes at a priest's expense really rubs me the wrong way especially since i KNOW that he loves us #and in many ways was trying his best in the circumstances. and are we not supposed to be loving our neighbour #and is this not downright slander to keep going on this way esp since it goes on for HOURS at a time #anyway i don't know what to DO because if i keep chatting with them/meeting up with them conversation will be 90% this thing and i Hate It #but on the other hand i feel responsibility towards them because my godson's one of them and another is a friend who is a fairly recent #convert and if i leave them to stew in their own echo chamber i doubt it'll do them good #am i supposed to keep some distance? am i supposed to keep arguing whenever one of them says something unkind or inflammatory? #am i supposed to keep speaking up so that they hear a different perspective? am i supposed to run in the other direction for my own peace o #mind? anyway i am still thinking this over and it stresses me OUT #it used to be fun and life giving to be around these people and now it is so exhausting and seriously alarming in many ways

[crepuscularqueens]

miranda's green dress haters... perish.

#'it's not historically accurate!!!' idc it's hot #to be clear <- guy who took history of costume design classes. i am aware. have you considered she looks so hot though? #(also black sails is a show that is doing so much about telling of tales and evoking the sense of idealized memory in these sequences...) #(i think it's intentional. there are other wardrobe aspects in show that aren't entirely accurate either but it's okay) #(the point comes across to the audience. it's supposed to be like a play! it's supposed to be!) #the point was to give her a dress that she looks fucking stunning in. mission accomplished be a loser somewhere else #god idk the mission to get all wardrobe in films and drama series to be entirely historically accurate is kind of exhausting to me #it should evoke the era. sure. in some dramas it is more important than others it really depends what kind of story you're telling. #in this show its a set piece it sets the scene it's helping tell the story on another level than simply this is the exact year it is #you're so boring im sorry. you simply didn't get it.

[the-cookie-of-doom]

bless my teacher who gave me a direct blueprint of tomorrow's exam. I wish she'd don't it any other time before 8pm the night before! but!! I'll take what I can get!!!

#cookie speaks #unfortunately I am simply too tired for an all nighter #so #im going to go to bed now #wake up early #and hope for the best #im legit too tired to think #i shouldn't be #i got plenty of lseep #but i am exhausted #hopefully if i sleep now #ill be rested enough to study well in the AM