Hello!! Might I persuade you to write either 20, 28, or 42 with Revalek? If you choose 20, it could go either way but for 28 I think angst would be more fitting and I don't think 42 could go anywhere but fluffy crack.
Listen, now I wanna write all of these but I think that #28 fits really well so I'm gonna choose that one!
(Revael Naver is my incarnation of Revan - Revael was the name she had before Revan, Naver was the one the Jedi council gave her after the mind wipe, and upon recalling more of her life she took the two names and put them together - and Kemir Shrik is my Exile's name before the war and her exile)
From this prompt list.
28 - "I miss [him/her/them]. I shouldn't, I know - I was the one to leave [him/her/them] - but still, I do."
They landed on Corellia three hours ago, standard time, and Revael had not got off the ship.
She probably should: after all, Carth is not going to be able to stop the combined force of the rest of the crew from doing something stupid and dangerous alone.
But she can't bear it. Although her memory is patchy, she knows that Corellia is where she grew up and it had not been a kind childhood. She doesn't want to face that just yet.
So she had made her excuses and now she sat in the engineering compartment of the Ebon Hawk tinkering with a useless piece of metal in the hopes of feeling useful.
T3 whistles and passes her a screwdriver.
"Thanks," she says softly. It's good that the droid knows what she needs because Revael is in such a strange headspace that it's difficult to focus.
On one hand, this is where she left to join the Jedi - to find her freedom and her purpose and her new family - but overlapping still are the odd snippets of broken memories, memories that were warped and changed and put there by the Jedi Council that she can't quite untangle from the real thing.
Kemir shares a loaf of bread with her, sitting on the edge of a skyscraper but they're also hidden in the slums; Atris is telling her to get out the archives, that she shouldn't be in there looking for such forbidden knowledge, but she's also standing om the clean swept floors of a middle class floor in better parts of Corellia and telling Revael to get out because this isn't where she belongs.
And Alek...Alek is always standing by her side, an extra hand in a theft; an extra sword in a fight; her partner, her heart, her everything, except until...
Revael still can't remember it. She has been told that Alek called that attack on her ship, a firing squad of his ships against hers, but the only memory that comes to mind when she thinks of it is the fake one.
They had just escaped a band of thugs and Revael had turned to smile at him, only to find something sharp in her abdomen and the soft apology whispered in her ear.
Revael fiddles with a bolt near the fuse and turns it just a bit too much and the whole thing lets out a loud bang.
"Sithspit," she exclaims, jumping back as the thing gives her a sharp electric shock. "Ah kriffin' fuck."
T3 whistles, low and concerned, and wheels over to her.
"No, I'm alright," she says and sighs. "I'm just a bit distracted by being on this planet and I shouldn't have been doing anything so complicated with my head somewhere in the unknown regions."
She wheels her chair back and stretches out. Carth says she looks a bit like a cat when she does this, pushing every limb as far as it can go in every direction, which always makes her laugh.
"I'm gonna get something to eat. You coming?"
T3 makes a happy beeping noise as an affirmative and rolls after her as she makes her way to the small storage room and forages up something that resembles a sandwhich.
"We're really running low on food," Revael comments, sitting down. "Next planet we end up on, remind me to go shopping."
T3 lets out a short string of beeps, rolling up to settle at Revael's side.
"Yeah, I'll find someone to give you an oil bath as well - it's about time."
Revael picks at the sandwhich, breaking off a small bit of bread and popping it in her mouth. T3 beeps again.
"No, I'm not getting off here. It's a dangerous planet and someone needs to stay with the ship - and from what I can recall, the food here really wasn't that good. It's only a day over to Alderaan, after all."
Revael wrinkles her nose at T3's reply. "I'm not a coward."
T3's next whistle is highly accusatory and Revael scowls.
"If you keep talking like that, I'll shut you down alright?"
That's enough to convince T3 to finally change topic but the conversation leaves a bitter taste in her mouth for the rest of the day, like...
She doesn't know. She's too much of a coward to think too hard of it.
+
"We should absolutely not be here," Kemir says but it's with a certain amount of glee that comes from doing something wrong.
"Loosen up a bit Kem," Revael digs her elbow in her friend's ribs, "you're starting to sound like Atris."
Kemir digs back and beheind them, Alek sighs.
"If we're gonna do this let's not get distracted," he says and Revael rolls her eyes.
"Sweetheart, we are not getting distracted. Look, I can see Master Vrook now."
Kemir lets out a nervous giggle. "We're gonna be in so much trouble."
Revael pays her no attention and lifts up the water balloon with the Force, holding it over the Jedi master's head. Kemir is shaking from trying to keep her laughter in and Revael can feel Alek's begrudging amusement across their bond.
When the balloon bursts, Revael scrambles back from the edge of the roof as Vrook yells something rather nasty. Kemir is not so lucky, bursting out into laughter and forgetting that she can be seen.
"Padawan Shrik!" Vrook screams. "Get down here right now: I am taking you to your master and I will be telling him about this behaviour!"
"Sorry Master Lamar!" Kemir yells back down. "I was aiming for the plant!"
"Don't lie to me Padawan, I know the truth!"
"Kem, I think it'd be better that you go down and face the music," Alek advises and Kemir glares at him.
"Neither of you are admitting to this as well, are you?"
Revael makes an apologetic face. "Yeah, we're gonna do a runner, love. I have things I wanna do this evening and listening to a rant by Vrook is not on it."
Kemir sighs. "Why am I your friend? You two owe me one."
She strides over to the ledge and slings herself over.
"I feel rather bad for her," Alek admits as he wraps an arm around Revael's shoulders and they start to walk towards the steps.
"Eh, she'll survive. Vrook's all bark and no bite. I'll find her some of that vodka she likes and we'll laugh it off later."
Alek smiles at her. "And while we're shopping, we can go to that bar we like."
Revael leans her head on Alek's shoulder. "Mmmm, there's that very nice room. Some soft blankets."
"Yeah," the stairs turn from stone to metal beneath her feet. "I'm glad I snuck them in there. The bunks are really uncomfortable without them."
Malak's arm falls from her shoulders and he moves to a step just behind her as they walk out onto the bridge. "Admiral Karath," Revan says. "How long until we reach Malachor?"
"A quarter hour now General."
Revan turns to Malak, hunched on the floor and covering his face. He's shaking but Revan feels nothing.
"I've called a medic," she says, feeling nothing. She knows she should because she loves the man she's just disfigured, but she doesn't.
She pushes open the door out of the training salles on the Leviathan...
...and wakes up with a gasp.
+
"The hot chocolate's warm enough, right?" Mission asks worriedly, taking a sip of her own mug. "Is it like when you make it?"
Revael smiles shakily. "It's perfect Mission."
"Does it help?"
"Yes, Mission." The cocoa is perhaps a little on the sweet side but Revael keeps her mouth shut.
Mission looks down at her mug. "Do you wanna...wanna talk about it?"
"It was a dream about my life as Revan. It wasn't anything bad, Mission, it just reminded me of...someone I lost."
Mission's mouth falls into a small 'O'. "Someone you loved?"
"I think so." Revael wraps her hands around her drink, letting the warmth sink into her fingers. "I'm not sure."
"Who was it?" Mission asks, her eyes wide and a little breathless from the excitement of it all.
"Well, Malak."
"Oh," Mission blinks and then her eyes widen. "Oh."
"Yeah," Revael agrees. "Oh indeed. And I...I miss him. I shouldn't, I know - I was the one to leave him - but still I do."
She swallows and shakes her head as Mission reels.
"But I'm being silly, and I probably shouldn't be talking to you about it. You've been very kind Mission, to help me, but I think it's getting late and you should be getting back to bed."
Mission nods. "Right, yes, that's probably...are you going to tell Carth?"
Revael rises and walks with Mission towards the bunks.
"I've already told him. We are partners."
"And he's not...jealous or anything?"
"What has he to be jealous about? Malak is dead and he was fallen before that - and any feelings for him that I may still harbour for him are my own business for they don't mean I love Carth any less."
Revael imagines that this is what Carth feels when he thinks about Morgana, the wife he lost to the Force. A hollow emptiness that sits right at the back of his mind that can't ever quite be filled.
Or perhaps that's just Revael.
"Now bed, Mission, or else I shan't spar with you in the morning."
Mission roles her eyes and groans. "You're such a spoilsport, ya know?"
"A spoilsport who knows that growing girls need their sleep. Bed."
Once Mission is finally asleep (or at least pretending to) Revael goes back to the cockpit and collects the empty mugs, setting them in the sink.
Perhaps the worst thing, she thinks, is that she doesn't even truly know what she misses, just that she once had a partner in everything and now...
...now he's gone.
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