#bulimicdiary

[lovleymia]

FUCK THE ED COMMUNITY

Just this month alone I lost 10 pounds with “healthy eating”. NOVEMBER 1 I weighed in at exactly 150ibs. TODAY IS NOVEMBER 26 AND I WEIGHTED 137ibs AFTER A FULL DAY OF EATING ON THANKSGIVING. The ED community is so drowned in this romanticized version of being skinny. Even if you lose weight you’ll still look skinny fat because your only changing your calories and not your composition. I lost ALL of this weight last year and gained it all back. I used to force myself to eat 400-1200 calories every day and be stuck in a binge purge restrict cycle. I tried out what all the health freaks were saying. My maintenance calories are 2,000 everyday. For my height and weight. NORMALLY I should be eating 1500 and 1700 on days I workout. I know this is out of Ed norms but it’s actually…BETTER??? IT WAS SO SCARY to be OVER eating on purpose but I gave it a try anyways. I ended up always hitting my daily cals and I literally LOST weight FASTER????? I’m never going back to binging and purging and fasting. Bulimia can kiss my ass. Anorexia can kiss my ass. Fuck the Ed community and fuck my own Ed that made me think that I needed to be toxic to reach my goals. I am able to eat all meals of the day and listen to my hunger cues much better. No starving, no being uncomfortably full, no need to purge…just…normal.

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[lovleymia]

I’m currently maintaining 135ibs at 1500 cals which is -500 my maintenance calories…might be a little too restrictive so I might up it to 1600. Slow progress is better than no progress and I’m really proud of myself. I was sitting between 147-143 FOR MONTHS and I was 166 a year ago. I still had binges, I still purged, and I still fasted at times out of habit and war with myself but recovery is never linear and I’m being much kinder to myself every day💜💜that’s all that matters to me regardless of my weight. ED bitches never wanna hear that but when the goal is not HAPPINESS you will never be satisfied enough…

GOAL IS HEALTH AND HAPPINESS EVEN AT YOUR UGW

I REPEAT. EVEN AT YOUR UGW YOU SHOULD BE HEALTHY AND HAPPY.

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[lovleymia]

I literally just purged and I feel so physically and mentally drained. I tried recovering I really did but I feel like I’m going to look stupid coming out to people with an “eating disorder” when I’m at a normal weight. People will tell me “your not even fat”. That’s not the fucking reason I purge. I fucking purge because I’m NOT SKINNY. I feel like I can’t ask for help until I reach my goal. I’m trying to turn my bulimia into anorexia but I can’t get out of the habit of over indulging. It’s so bad.

#bulimina #buliima #buliimix #bulimik #mia #bulimxa #bulimist #bulimiz #bulimicdiary