#btw with all of my aus i have and will create - I Try To Incorporate As Much Canon As Possible!

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Would Bardaby (from the Fantasy Au) still do his affectionate biting as shown in the original WH or would it be different?

i'd say Yes Absolutely!

he's gotta be more Careful about it tho... look at those chompers...

#he's probably accidentally drawn blood before... just a teeny bit tho #so it might not be a Bite so much as holding his open mouth to wally - or whoever - yk? #little to no pressure is applied! #his teeth arent that sharp but theyre still Not Dull! #pretty much no one besides wally will let barnaby 'bite' them since uh. yeah Big Pointy Teeth #so whenever they look over and barn has his teeth closed around wally's little face they all get a little nervous #they know barn wouldnt hurt him But Still. Yikey! Accidents Can & Have Happened! #rambles from the bog #scribble salad #wh fantasy au #btw with all of my aus i have and will create - I Try To Incorporate As Much Canon As Possible! #and if i change or omit anything i Will have reasoning! #i like to stick to the source while also fucking around & having fun yk yk #so widely character dynamics and habits will be consistent! #the characters are still themselves! theyre just in different settings!

[silent-neutral]

I barely slept last night due to the reveal of this wonderful creature haunting my mind but-- Ughnn, the in-game shots are just...his face is perfect..So razor sharp. He ages like fine wine. even though I'm pretty sure he's only, what, a year older lmao;; But I love that they made him more intense and scowly, how I try to envision him; that's totally a thing I'm always guilty of drawing hahahh;; Btw, I love his new fit. The casual look suits his description and it makes sense. He's on break, somewhere cold, his rage art is heavily ice themed; His outfit makes me wonder if he isn't into hunting, especially with that fang necklace. Best believe his T8 ending is going to be something related to that ''difficult goal'' he wants to achieve on vacation, I'm calling it x'D Because it's Namco, it'll probably be something lulzy and random, bonus points if he says a word though. But anyway, ugh, gotta love it. I can't get over his faceeee, I'm so happy with how he turned out. They took the peak design of T6 and TTT2 (totally unbiased here lol) and created this stern, vampiric beauty ugh. UGH. Small gripe; I just wish his lips were a tiny bit fuller :3 but I'll gladly take him like this. And the description has me even more amused! I mentioned in a previous post how I associate his blue and black coats with Vergil's style, and now his pants and skull motif remind me of Dante aahh would have went with something more desaturated rather than purple or the red accents but i'll live but ARGH an old vintage bound notebook too <3?! Oh c'mon.. it's just screaming at me to draw crossover art (another thing that has me written all over it haaaa)

And, well.. I've drawn Dra in Sergei Vladimir's outfit that sparked stupid RE au ideas in my head of an Umbrella soldier Dragunov with Sergei Vladimir as his uncle/senior commanding officer, so why not a DMC one, too?? lmao. Crossovers are a great way to incorporate all my fandoms simultanously since it evens out my time and attention to them, but also I just love them! I always find similarities between my favourite characters and it's hard to ignore as a fan. Anyway, that's me gushing done. My mind flatlined upon seeing this shot in particular for a good 12 hours. I just fucking love how his face is sculptured.. God he better have another aristocratic alt costume haha

#sergei dragunov #tekken #tekken character reveal #non art #...for now

[heinzpilsner]

Some more (supposedly unpopular) thoughts on Zuko's image in atla

'cause apparently that's what I think about these days, geez

Okay, so, I'm not a great expert in style or character design or anything obviously, but I have some general theoretical ideas about it.

Here they are, basically:

1) In practice, attempts to "soften severe features" with, well, soft decorations more often than not make potentially attractive people to look just meh;

2) When you can't hide some feature, it makes more sense to incorporate it as an organic part of your overall image (yes, Zuko's scar, I'm talking about you);

3) Good man doesn't necessary have to look all soft and fluffy to remain a good man. If softness of decoration collides with character's constitution, it makes the audience more emotionally confused than anything, even if just subconsciously (e.g., thoughts like "So, he's a good guy now, but I am less attracted to him than before. Does it mean that I find good guys less hot in general?". ... Yes, it was surprisingly specific. And no, I'm not gonna elaborate.)

If we go all back to beginning though, originally, 13-year-old Zuko's elegant facial features allowed him to go in many different directions with his style.

... That's until Ozai made this choice for him permanently, oh dear that's the one way to put it.

Actually, Zuko was kinda lucky with his scar's shape (considering all the possible alternatives): it ended up looking more like a warpaint or a Bowie-like face decoration than a disfigurement it is wow, almost as if it was specifically designed by professionals with this exact tought in mind lol. And while I totally understand the human in-character desire to hide it behind hair, from the stylistic point of view, that's exactly what Zuko shouldn't do. With such a face, all attempts to avoid people's attention will only lead to the opposite effect.

Also, to hide the scar behind some fringes means to hide Zuko's overall striking features as well, which is a freaking crime against aestetics, if you ask me. His face bears so much more potential than that.

So, what I'm trying to say is this: paradoxically, Zuko manages to look good (yes, good) with supposedly "awful" season 1 haircut, and just meh with supposedly "sexy" season 3 haircut. Because "awful" haircut, while pretty eccentric, opens his features, turns the scar from a weakness into a strengh, and hence translates more character in a harmonic way, apparently.

While later-season-3 Zuko doesn't exactly look bad either (which is especially true when animators make a deliberate effort to depict him extra pretty for dramatic scenes lol I'm not blind guys), he mostly looks... unimpressive? Actually, more often than not he reminds me of a shaggy puppy that just made a puddle nearby, lol. Alternatively, he looks like some simple guy next door - kinda cute then a light hits right, but nothing special. And although I can understand the general thought behind this choice (symbolic humbling as well as he-needs-his-hair-to-wear-the-crown-in-universe-logical), "cute simple guy" is exactly what Zuko isn't. And no, bryke, he's not an emo boy either. He can be awkward turtleduck sometimes, yes, but never someone ordinary. His whole appearance was initially created with this idea in mind.

So, "Bad prince with awful haircut" vs "Good prince with sexy haircut" lens helps to keep things in simple boxes, of course, but there's so much more nuance to Zuko's appearance than that, for better or for worse.

So... ponytail rights again, yay! Gods, I need more season 1 au zutara

(Btw... Am I the only person who remembers what Katara canonically kinda defended Zuko's ponytail to Sokka? And they were enemies back then! I mean, you may think she has a bad taste if you like, but the fact remains).

... Lee-the-refugee-before-the-Jasmine-Dragon haircut is my fav though. But just like all the good things in Zuko's life, it couldn't last long, could it? (Ouch, negligent shagginess looks nice on Jet, but it doesn't do many favors for Zuko's high-contrast aristocratic beauty. I kinda hated it, honestly.)

/typing all this on my phone from memory also without trusty google translator, so yep, no pictures. just my blunt words in poor english with no evidence for you to call me on my bullshit lol.

Also, I have no idea how people react to my posts, or whether they react at all. Ignoring tumblr notifications kinda helps me to keep my sanity intact, lol. But if you found this amateur-and-totally-subjective analysis of mine interesting for some reason... Thanks for your attention, I guess?

... But why I have this sinking feeling what I potentially managed to offend 2/3 of the fandom for completely different reasons without even trying? Lol, whatever./

#atla #zuko #ponytail rights #mum look i'm designer now

[mossfeathers]

I'm excited to hear more about your au. It sounds like it's gonna be a lot of fun and that you've paid a lot of attention to details when creating it which makes it more exciting. Can't wait to hear more about sirens, especially since you mentioned it'd be a whole other post. So whenever you're ready to share I'm excited to hear about it.

Also! In my head, siren!BigB had fins there too! So that's cool that it lined up. Thanks for sharing your designs btw ^^

I honestly wanna ask so much, like about the sirens of your world in general, Scar & BigB's backstory, if there's a reason the current name is sweethearts siren au, are Jimmy & Grian like on a vacation or have moved here permanently, how you plan to share/tell the story... I didn't want to seem overwhelming or weird tho so I've been trying to figure out just about all day, which question I should ask first and how I should word it. I still haven't quite decided (tho I was leaning towards asking more about the sirens) but that's because I didn't want to step on your toes if you were already planning out some posts.(which is why I said whenever you're ready to share) And I hope admitting this doesn't make me seem weird or overly excited... I just want to be honest tbh lol.

(Thanks again for sharing your au, I really do want to learn more about it ^^)

anon i love you sooooo much thank you for asking so many lovely things about my au :D Please never be worried about being too enthusiastic or asking too many questions, this is genuinely so fun for me and I love being able to talk about and think about this au in depth (under cut since there is a lot!!)

Ok so you wanted to know more about sirens? I have 600 words of worldbuilding on this so I'll try to condense it a little? Sirens are pretty neat, again I did kind of remake them as a species to better fit this au but a lot of the basics still stand. They aren't strictly romantic seduction, and leans more heavily into just really strong compulsion of any variety, though that still is a thing (i just don't plan on implementing it much). The specific aspect of luring people to their death also isn't a strict necessity, but definitely still common (and I do want to incorporate this into the au). Sirens can have any fishtail, but it does matter on their location/habitat. Scar's a lionfish, and I haven't quite decided on B yet but it's going to probably be a blue one. Either type of ear (the pointed ones or the webbed ones) are pretty much random, but both have scales on the face. The main thing that distincts sirens from any other merfolk (in terms of physical appearance) are the hands, much more clawed and very scaley. I liked the idea of jewlery being very ingrained and important in siren culture, so that's why you'll see a lot of necklaces and earrings andstuff on both my Scar and B designs (though noticeably a lot more on B, no real reason for that quite yet). Sirens also have much longer lifespans than humans, and thus it's a bit hard for some to understand the idea of mortality when it comes to the killing aspect. Still, some sirens don't like the general idea of control and/or murder and choose to live as regular merfolk, but that's really tough to do as sirens aren't trusted by pretty much anyone who isn't a siren. Their voices don't work on other sirens but do work all other animals, though it does still impact relationships amongst sirens (as can be seen in B and Scar). Siren voices are pretty cool! They develop throughout childhood, starting with none (using the term 'voice' to refer to their ability to control btw, probably should have established that sooner) and slowly turning small persuasions into full control. Not super well documented in-universe due to nobody but sirens hanging out with them, especially in youth. Practice is also necessary to get 'good' at using one's voice. As in, those who use it frequently can fade into it near seamlessly without letting on that they're using it until it's in full effect and can easily start using it most of the time. For those who aren't as accustomed to it (either from deliberate lack of use or inexperience in general), using the voice can be much more noticeable, with a very noticeable shift in tone and volume. It's also much more difficult to start, requiring a lot more concentration and effort. Much like learning to use a new muscle, i'd imagine. Moments of stress, high pressure, or other extreme emotions or factors hinder both skill levels, and can even be worse on those with experience as it might be their only way out of a very tense situation. That's most of my siren worldbuilding? As time goes on and this hopefully expands more there will probably be a lot more to add.

The reason for sweethearts siren au is simply because that's my personal duo name for Grian and B (It's really cute I think, with 'sweet' coming from grain/breads and b's affinity with cookies, and hearts coming from the heart Grian built in double life and their general connection to the life series. And because it sounds adorable and they are sweethearts, /p or /r) and they're kind of the 'main duo' as far as I've thought? As in, I have the most complex interactions and dynamics that i've laid out for them thus far and they're the most developed so far. Also, I don't have a duo name that I like/know for any of the other characters and especially not specifically these 4, and i'm not clever enough to come up with one just yet. So, sweethearts siren AU for the time being. Grian and Jim are here as fishmongers just to make a living, pretty much? This au was created around when I first got *super* into stardew and especially the fishing mechanism (I maxxed out the fishing skill while at 0 for pretty much everything else), so I really wanted to just put some of my favorite guys into a fish situation. Aged pretty well, I'd say, with Grian's recent obsession with fishing. But yeah, just fishermen and/or small farmers on the side (the stardew leaking into this again) trying to make a living in a coastal area until they discover The Sirens. I will say, the one thing that I do have down very solidly is Grian and Jim's absolute oblivion to the presence of sirens at this specific ocean/town, and Jimmy being the first one to interact directly with them (specifically, Scar). I don't really feel like doing the whole skeptic-of-the-supernatural-until-its-glaringly-obvious thing, but I might add it a little bit in Grian's character if I feel the story needs a bit more to spice it up. I also really love Jimmy and Scar's dynamic, especially how easily Jimmy falls for whatever ploy Scar's doing so I think that would fit perfectly into the siren dynamic. This au's 'story' starts pretty much right when Grian and Jim move, but in terms of chronological order I really don't have much down solidly. I struggle a lot sometimes with telling the story I want to tell and keeping everyone in character, so it's pretty difficult to make sure the siren's use of their voices, *especially* Scar, is realistic and not too drastic. I've been toying with the idea of the big first event being something with Scar putting Jimmy in danger (something like taking him underwater to the depths and malicious use of his voice, potentially) and that forcing B and Grian to make a tentative alliance to get him back, but I don't really think that's too in character of an action for Scar to make so it's very annoying. As far as telling this story goes, probably mostly through exposition-like posts like this, for the most part. I'd love to write some stuff for this au, obviously, and probably will do small things, but that would probably be a much longer project for me that wouldn't get done for ages. Also posting art of it, even if it doesn't have much context or is what builds the context itself. This is part of the reason i'm really glad people are sending asks, since I don't have any plans for posts about this since I don't know what specifically to talk about or what people want to know and also don't want to seem too annoying (?) with excessively posting about this lol. Thank you so much for the ask, and especially if you actually read all of this. I love talking about things I enjoy, and if you have any more questions I would absolutely love to hear them. It gives me a really good chance to think over what actually happens and the specificities of this which I really appreciate :D

#moss ask answers #sweethearts siren au #grian #solidaritygaming #gtws #bigb #life series au #<- putting that tag just incase some people look through/filter it #long post

[inkling0121]

You Remember that au I made right? it's the one were Mikey and Leo were raised by Shredder to be foot soldiers with Karai being manipulated by the Shredder, believing they have no one but themselves as family, and meeting Donnie and Raph, who are pals with Casey and April already helping them take down the foot solider to face off against Shredder. They cross paths with each other, which shapes how the story continues. Mikey starts to question Shredder, believing that the other side is who he should be with because he starts finding the way the foot handles things to be suspicious, so he goes on his own solo fights throughout this iteration, fighting Raph and Donnie every now and then, with Leo popping in to see assist and see if everything is okay. He also starts questioning his loyalty, but never brings it up since he believes in his father, Shredder, and sister Karai are innocent, so he and Mikey get into a fight, and Mikey chooses Raph and Donnie, which upsets Leo, who throughout the rest fights with Karai to try and get Mikey back on the shredder side. well I was wondering if you had any good advice on how I should start off with it I have been thinking about starting on Raph Donnie side so that I could set up Mikey and Léo later on but I don't know where to start with it do you have nay good suggestions for me? also I should I make Karai a trio with Mikey and Leo in the beginning or should I try incorporating her later on when things get more serious? sorry for the long ask btw.

I think the best way to start is to create the character designs, if you're not an artist just write it out, but what helps me to create new stories is to get the ground work down first

For my own au, I started this out MONTHS ago, like way before summer. I used to write fanfiction all the time (I'm talking about updating daily) but I fell out of that fandom and wanted to focus on art, so I would always start with the basis

What I have for my current au is: designs, world building, personalities, history (for major every party involved), relationships with others, side characters, enemies, and archs

Now the relationships with others was a bit unnecessary on my end but I still added it and it helped sort out some notes (like how Splinter and Shredder feel about each other since they grew up as brothers)

And the archs is where the real stories begin, theyre sorta arranged like chapters but some are like a day or two long in the time like, and others are months and even years (the first part that I need to start drawing out soon), theyre more like the most important parts of the story, hold on

Im gonna rename some of the archs cause the best chapter titles are the most comedic

But anyway Im starting from the beginning, a prologue sorta. Theres many routes you can take, but I think the origins are the best

However it would be cool to start with one side and have it be revealed. Maybe you could have Raph and Donnie run into Mikey and/or Leo and confront Splinter about it, then have Splinter tell them the true story of their mutation, I feel like that would be an interesting start

#tmnt #asks #strawberryshortcake #ink talks #tmntmdt

[secret-engima]

Rereading Team Gremlin verse (almost mistyped that as Gremling, which i can see them being called btw), and. I see 'HC on the life just before Ozpin himself. HC? What HCs? Give HCs, plz.

Uhhhh. Sure!

Now my timeline is still a bit fuzzy, but here’s a few ... suppositions I’ve made, just so you know where I’m starting from with this OC.

A common fanon is that the previous incarnation before Ozpin was the King of Vale which ... sure I can see that. But personally I think it doesn’t quite fit. Raven mentions in canon that Ozpin is “the youngest Headmaster of Beacon” and apparently he was young enough that blatant favoritism or nepotism was assumed to be in play by most people (tho that could be Raven’s cynicism). AND some other canon facts we know that screw up Roosterteeth’s own timeline: Ozpin was headmaster when Team STRQ was around (so around 40-ish years pre-canon) AND he is “younger than Headmaster Theodore.”

Headmaster Theodore is listed on his wiki page to be “mid to late 40s”

So that means Ozpin was YOUNG when he became headmaster. teenager/just turned 20s young. Team STRQ’s initiation was likely one of, if not the first, he ever oversaw as headmaster.

-CIRCLING BACK TO THE INCARNATION THING AND HOW THIS TIES IN. The Great War ended 80 years pre-canon, which would mean a minimum of 40-odd years before Ozpin was born, and then an additional 18-20 years minimum before Ozpin is old enough to get pulled into the curse and have a voice in his head that urges him to become Headmaster of Beacon way early (since Oscar is implied/assumed to be the youngest incarnation ever and an oddity in that fact). Now we know that there is usually a larger gap between incarnations than with Oscar, likely of several years, but considering that the King of Vale would already have been an adult, likely in his 40s WHEN THE WAR HAPPENED ... that felt like too wide of a potential gap. At the year I have for Ozpin’s birth, the King would be 87, which is a reasonable old age to pass on, but that would leave 18-20 years between him and Ozpin becoming the next incarnation, which felt like too large a gap. Even if I pushed his death up to 95, that would still leave 10-ish years of no Ozma to handle Salem.

-So instead I killed off the King of Vale a bit younger than that and made an incarnation to slot in between the King of Vale and Ozpin. So far I’ve been calling him Osamu, but I am fully open to a better name option, preferably one that starts with OZ. Anyway- this middle incarnation was born six years before the Great War and thus grew up through the ten years of war and all that entailed. I’m thinking he was likely from Mistral, actually? And the war ended right before he came of recruitment age at 16. He was lower class and so very Not Pleased with the Mistralen government, so when the King of Vale organized and created the Huntsman Academies in the aftermath of the war, Osamu went to Beacon rather than Haven.

-Osamu is ... a like minded soul still, yes. He is protective and he wants to help people, help the world, and he can be very kind in the right situation. But he is also one of the much harsher incarnations. He was raised during the ban on colors and art in Mistral and then lived through the War as his childhood and that- marked him. Even though he did not participate in the war itself, canonically Grimm attacks were at an all time high across the world because of the negativity surrounding the war, and that wouldn’t have just been the battlefields. Villages and towns would have suffered a huge spike in attacks because of the stress of war rationing, losing loved ones to the battlefield, and knowing that they would be even more unprotected against Grimm attacks. That gave him a harder mentality. A more black and white outlook on how to help people. He is venomously against war, but when it comes to fighting Salem from the shadows...

-He’s likely one of the closest any of Ozma’s incarnations have come to the “very manipulative for the greater good” trope that some people (incorrectly) attribute to Ozpin. He believed that protecting the world meant far more than any one person, which was ... fine enough when he was the latest incarnation.

-But after he died and woke up in Ozpin’s head, it became more of a problem, because now OZPIN, the physically youngest incarnation (until Oscar comes along), is the one bearing the brunt of that drive. Which is what led to Ozpin becoming Headmaster so fast, even though reasonably he could have stayed a student and Huntsman for a while and just advised whatever member of Osamu’s inner circle had stepped into the Headmaster role from the shadows.

More thoughts on Osamu when he was alive and not the voice in Ozpin’s head:

-Had a family, but lost them over the course of the War. His older brothers and father he lost to the battlefield, his mother was lost to a Grimm raid near the end of the war.

-Always wore a red scarf, everywhere he went. In the world of Remnant vids there’s a green silhouette with a red scarf during the Vytal festival: that was Osamu in my AUs, he won the very first Vytal tournament on behalf of Vale.

-Probably caught a lot of flak and suspicion for coming to Beacon to learn rather than Haven, as post-war tensions would have still been high, but the King of Vale personally stepped in to ensure that it was permitted.

-Was very good at sword fighting and preferred it over using Long Memory, though he did keep the cane on his person at all times.

-He was the one to come up with the “fling students off cliffs” tradition in Beacon, not Ozpin (though admittedly Ozpin did take some mild glee in continuing the practice).

-Personally knew the King of Vale before the king died, though only briefly. Osamu was an oddity, being not only among the first generation of students in the newly founded Huntsman academies but the first to intentionally cross the border to go to one different from his home country, and so the King took an interest in him.

-Both of them were very surprised when, roughly five years after the king died, Osamu woke up with the king’s voice in his head.

-Was a very early supporter of Faunus Rights, and until the King of Vale managed to temper some restraint into him, his support tended to show up in the form of Throwing Hands when he saw people treating Faunus poorly. This led to him incorporating several Faunus into his own inner circle, and one of the reasons Beacon has such a stubborn “we accept anyone from any walk of life or species” stance. As soon as he became Headmaster of Beacon he started stomping on *all* the fussy noble toes to ensure that Faunus students were not just permitted, but where given the same accommodations and protections as any other human student. The King of Vale was so proud.

-Never married, never even dated/courted anyone. At first he was not interested/too busy trying to become a Huntsman, but after the King of Vale popped up in his head, he decided it was too dangerous to risk someone else just for love and company. This is a mentality he admittedly drilled into Ozpin’s head too.

#SE asks #anon asks #Secret Engima Rambles #Team Gremlin verse #rwby #ozpin #ozma incarnations

[themountainsays]

Like! I already wanted to incorporate Natasha into the His Dark Materials AU somehow because... russia... it's right there. Most of the story takes place in northern europe, right? And i knew I already wanted to have Wanda belonging to a russian witch clan (but she's returned to her gyptian family because they needed her, it's a long story). Dunno. Just trying to see which characters would feel natural to insert into the story, because I don't think Captain America would be a THING in a world in which the United States didn't exist and there was a country called fucking New Denmark in North America instead (next to the Republic of Texas, Beringia and Nova Hispania). Idk i didn't know much about Nat, i just had a gut feeling.

And boy was my sixth sense right. Just think about it. The Magisterium in Muscovy, with it's General Oblation Board, kidnapping young girls, bringing them to Bolvangar... And performing intercissions on them.

They cut out kids' daemons. Some procedures are more successful than others. Most kids don't survive the operation. Those who do become... these lifeless, docile, obedient little zombies. Their daemons go catatonic. Dust stops flowing into them, so, conciousness, what makes them human, stops flowing into them. These Red Room folks would love that.

I can see it so clearly. Some of the girls that remain the most concious after the intercission are sent to Muscovy, where one of the Magisterium's most secret ministries has it's headquarters. The Red Room. And they're trained. They're named Widows. And they're used as perfect soldiers who feel no hesitancy and no fear. This woman, Melina, fulfills a very important role in the development of conditioning methods and techniques to train these "severed" girls. Maybe she had daughters. Maybe she stole two baby girls during the beginning of her career, before this technology was developed.

Because this is all new, right? This intercission method, the Silver Guillotine, is really new! The latest development in child abuse technology. Before that, hardly any kid survived a day after the procedure, but this instrument performs such a perfect and clean cut, that some kids are able to act almost human after all it's done. But this is all new, and before that, the Magisterium in Muscovy was experimenting with different methods of mind control. Other forms of brainwashing, stuff that you could almost describe as humane when compared to cutting out your soul and turning you into a robot. Teachings you could actually break free from. Maybe that's how Natasha and Yelena grew up. Their daemons weren't taken from them - they wouldn't have survived. They can still think and feel, they just need time to heal. With the years, they eventually do.

That's another thing - this scenario is far more tragic, because once your daemon is cut out, there's no going back. You can't stitch back the tear. There's no magical red antidote. You're virtually dead. In fact, killing you for real is truly a mercy. You're only moving through inertia, but you're no different from a body puppeted through necromancy. I suppose this is what Yelena is doing these days. Putting these poor girls out of their misery, hopefully reuniting them with their daemons in a better life, and fighting the people who did this to them in the first place. As for Natasha, I don't know. I'm still debating on whether i should include Oakley Street, or merge it with S.H.I.E.L.D somehow? More thinking and research is needed.

But yes. The Red Room is one of the Magisterium's ministries. It operates in Muscovy. Young girls from Bolvangar are imported and trained as (literally) souless assasins. Natasha and Yelena precede this generation of severed widows, and could break free. They're now working against the Magisterium, perhaps with a muscovite resistance? Or even muscovite witch clans? Their family may or may not be on their side. Melina's allegiances are... dubious. Melina gives me BIG Mrs. Coulter vibes btw. Mrs. Coulter if she had a redemption arc. Maybe.

Kinda freaky. The strongest survivor of the intercission process is Sylvie, the actual protagonist in this AU (alongside Loki). She was successfully separated from her daemon yet remained perfectly concious and human, and the Magisterium has tried to study her in order to replicate the success, but a certain woman helped her escape, a lady called B. Hunter perhaps. Obviously, the Magisterium's goal isn't to create an army of super soldiers specifically, they want to eliminate daemons altogether, because they see them as the origin of sin. But if any place has the knowledge and technology to study Sylvie's success, it must be the Red Room in Muscovy, so I'm sure she would have been taken there if she hadn't escaped. She would have certainly been useful as a widow. She was very lucky to get out in time.

#loki x hdm au tag #though maybe it should be a whole marvel x hdm au? idk loki and sylvie are still the main characters #dunno

[thousandsunnywrites]

Hi there! First off, I wanted to say that you have an absolutely wonderful blog! I was wondering if you could maybe do some headcannons for Kid and Killer liking the same girl? Keep up the good work you beautiful human being!!!❤️

Hello! Thank you so much 😩💘 I really liked this idea so I incorporated it into a college au! that I just posted haha. hope you don’t mind, but the course of this ends with Killer/reader :-)

—-

artist unknown

Kid & Killer

Part 1 here

Kid was the cool boisterous kid in the engineering program, while Killer was the silent, homebody studying in the psychology department. When the two worlds collided, they became good friends--hell, best friends maybe. 

When Kid found out that a small fry like y/n wrote an article about him, he was flattered; but when he found out you analyzed the shit out of his love life--without his permission b t w and don’t let me get started on the barbaric descriptions-- he decides to pay the little journalist.

Killer shot you a text message, asking to meet at a bubbly tea cafe to work on some assignments from Ms. Robin, to which you said sure, sounds like a great idea.

Kid spotted you first. 

He backed you against the English building, figure completely looming over your seemingly small frame. “I-I a m s o s o r r y,” exasperated, knowing he was fuming over the bad article Robin decided to publish under anonymous, which didn’t work bc everyone knew about Kid’s bad litany of lovers. Your knees bucked underneath you, his face near yours to the point where he was breathing down your neck. This is how I’m gonna die h u h.

“Take it down. Who the fuck gave you permission to slander my name huh? Think you fucking know me because you know some of the girls I fuck? Huh? Which bitch told you?”

His string of questions and insults continued, your mind jumbled with ways of escaping the metal head. Maybe if I slip from under his arm. No, crap he can grab my neck. Maybe if I fake a phone call? No, he’s a druggie, not a dumbass. Maybe just lie. Yeah, that should do it.

“You even listening to me dipshit?”

Snapping out of your trance, you stood tall. No, I shouldn’t be scared of this fuckboy. If anything, he should be scared of me. Why should I ask Ms. Robin to take down my work? I worked hard on that and hell I’m proud of myself.

“Listen up here, goth wannabe.” The change of aura threw him off for a few seconds. As you stepped closer and closer to him, you jabbed your pointer on his chest with every phrase. “It’s not my fault you’re a fuckboy, alright? I did my analysis based on the prompts my professor wanted and I refuse to take crap from a privileged arrogant ass like you.”

You dusted off your jeans and brushed the hair back from your face, “Besides, my report doesn’t even mention your name, how sure are you that it’s really about you? If you felt attacked by my analysis, then that’s a personal problem. Now if you excuse me, I’m late to a meeting.” You shoved passed by him, leaving him gritting his teeth with his head hung low, knowing he lost. But, just because you lose doesn’t mean you should give up.

Something about you-- the sassiness, the boldness perhaps— draws him towards you. From that day forward, the tables have turned. From you stalking him to him stalking you, he turned to the mutual that helped create it all—Killer.

Killer did n o t want to be in the middle of this, should he help his best pal get closer to the girl he wants or should he be in love with the girl of his dreams and leave his best friend heartbroken? This is the first time Killer sees Kid genuinely interested in a girl, and not for a quick fuck.

Yardy know what Killer is gonna do— he meddles with his best friend’s love life. Kid, ignorant to Killer’s feelings, merrily goes along with the advice dished out. It’s not like you’d like him, right? Kid was a better choice between the two of them, and you should always be with the best.

You noticed the sudden change with Killer’s attitude— his sudden interest with Kid and his distance really made you wonder if your crush was gay. Well, that’s not good!

Kid frequently drops by your dorm to drop you his home cooked food, that’s really good btw, and self-care packages. Killer comes by and leaves by a flower with anonymous love letters attached to them. Genuinely believing Kid and Killer were a thing, you thought the gestures were very sweet. Still not the man you wanted, but sweet.

Kid and Killer frequently text you, Kid still unaware that Killer contacts you consistently as well. He’d gush and brag about the interactions you shared together to Killer, who just nods along quietly.

Kid takes you out on dates too. Pays for the movie, the snacks, even the dress! What a fucking simp.

Kid decides to confess to you, not before consulting Killer first.

“Imma tell her today after class. ‘M gonna bring her a whole bouquet too.” Kid nonchalantly packs up his shit, preparing his stunt.

“What?? Today today?”

“Yuh,” responded Kid, swinging his bag over his shoulder and cooly waving his hand as he exits the room. No, if Kid was doing it today, Killer decided, me too. I wanna see what happens if I try.

Killer was done pushing his feelings to the side. Why should he have to subdue his feelings for someone else, even if they’re his best pal? What if you like him back?

“Y/n! I have something to tell you!” Killer screamed across the empty halls, knowing the exact spot the metal head was taking you. Just in time, he saw Kid confess.

“We’d be such a power couple if you were my girl.”

A sweet, gentle giggle left your throat, a hand covering your bashful face. “You’re cool dude,” your hand outstretched to pat his shoulder, “but I don’t see you like that... more like a friend, you know? I hope we can still be friends. And if you want, we can act like this never happened.” You spouted options to alleviate the embarrassment and disappointment written on his face.

“Bitch just kidding,” flabbergasted, but trying hard to keep his composure, he punched your shoulder. “I was just saying, not like I’d go for a small fry like you.”

“Bitchass.”

Killer felt relief in his chest— wow, his friend got rejected and he felt relieved? Best Friend of the Century.

Later that night, he snuck into your dorm by the window like Spider-Man, effectively scaring the shit out of you. After calming down, he worms his way to your bed with a tiny smile across his features.

He studied your face in the moonlight— softly parted lush lips with glossy eyes that matched the slightly disheveled hair atop your head. It was perfect. Killer wringed his hands together painfully, working his courage.

Mumbling, he slipped a very rushed confession from the tip of his tongue, inaudible to the ear.

“Huh?”

“I mean... you don’t have to accept my feelings. I wanna let it off my chest but I really like you y/n.” He sucked a breath while shutting his eyes, anticipating rejection.

Holding his chin and delicately bringing his eyes to meet yours, you leaned in and planted his lips against yours, and fell backwards due to his sudden jolts.

He pulled away, frantically trying to process if that was real or just one of his hyper realistic wet dreams again.

“Y-you like me back?”

“Duh, why else would I kiss you?”

“O-oh.”

“Be mine then?”

“I already am.”

#one piece #One Piece headcanons #killer x reader #massacre soldier killer #kid x reader #eustass kid #literally a eustASS kid

[sybright]

Grizabella being Munk and Tugger’s sister au

I’ve had this idea brewing in my head for a while and I’ve finally gotten the motivation to write it out. Fair warning, this whole thing is a COMPLETE mess, I have no idea where I was going with this, it got a longer than I thought it would, um, read at your own risk?

I think the “Griz is Munk and Tugger’s mom” headcanon is a neat idea, but it never vibed with me personally. For my “main” universe I see Griz as being unrelated to any of the Jellicles. However, for productions where Griz has a younger appearance (which can apply to both the pre-revival Griz design and the post-revival one), I really like the idea that she’s Old Deut’s daughter and siblings with Munk and Tugger. 

Headcanons:

-She’s the eldest (of the trio at least, Old Deut has obviously had countless children in past lives, but Griz, Munk, and Tugger are his only children in this life), Munk is the middle child, and Tugger is the youngest.

-She was expected to become the next Jellicle leader. I have the feeling that the current life Old Deut is living is his last, and he feels confident in passing the role of Jellicle leader to his first born child in this current life. 

-For a long time, becoming the Jellicle leader was a feeling of pride for Griz, for most of her youth she was excited to take on this role. She was confident, mature, caring, and deeply respected by the tribe, especially by her younger brothers. Simultaneously, she was laid-back, fun loving, and well, glamorous. This only earned her more respect from the tribe, she knew when to have fun, and she knew when to be serious. This is where she got her reputation as “the glamour cat.”

-During her late-teens to early adulthood is when she reached the height of her days as “the glamour cat.” It was around this time that she begun her Protector training, which was sort of like a prerequisite to her Jellicle leader training that would come later on.  

-When Griz started her Protector training, she began to rethink her life goals. She was young, just a little while out of kittenhood, and she reveled in the freedom she had prior to her training. Griz had big dreams, she wanted to see the world, and suddenly she felt constrained by her obligation to stay with the tribe and complete her training. Her life felt caged, like it was all laid-out for her, she was having second thoughts about the whole “leader” thing.

-Griz was too scared to confide her doubts to anyone because she didn’t want to disappoint them or let anyone down. So she continued her Protector training, pretending like everything was fine. 

-Over time, the pent up emotions in her led Griz to start resenting the tribe, she never said anything, but she grew more frustrated with them as each new day passed. The tribe started to see a change in Griz’s attitude, she became more cold and distant.

-This culminated in an argument Griz got into with Munk the day before her Jellicle leader training was going to begin (Munk is a teen at this time btw). Basically, Munk was asking what was going on with her lately, and why she had changed so much during her training. He had asked out of worry and concern, he wanted to help her. Griz snapped at him and a huge argument ensued. A lot of feelings were hurt that day, Munk didn’t know if he even knew his sister anymore, Tugger (who’s around preteen age at this time) overheard some of the arguing, and felt equally hurt by their exchange.  

-The next day, the day she was supposed to start her Jellicle leader training, Griz was gone. She left without telling anyone or saying goodbye. She left to see the world and pursue fame, she walked out on them. This was a massive blow to the tribe, everyone was beaten down by it, Munk and Tugger especially so.  They had looked up to Griz, and admired her for a long time, and this event, what felt like a betrayal, was awful for the two of them. Old Deuteronomy was more worried about Griz than anything.  

-Years passed, Munk took up the mantle of becoming the next Jellicle leader, he started his Protector training and was determined to pickup where Griz left off. Meanwhile, Tugger took on a very care-free and rebellious attitude. 

-Jemima shows up around this time, and it isn’t realized now, but after the events of the musical it’s decided that Jemima suits the role of Jellicle leader much better than Munk. Munk, while responsible, takes on far too much stress from the job, so he remains a Protector and storyteller.

-Everything started out great for Griz, she was free from her responsibilities and nothing could hold her back now.  After a few years, however, it started to fall apart. She fell on hard times and wound up on the street, completely alone. She had too much pride, too much shame, to return to the tribe just yet, so she remained on the streets for a while. 

-The events of the musical happen. Griz shows up after she finally gets over herself, it’s been roughly ten years since she left. Everyone’s on edge, the only one who had seen Griz prior to her return is Demeter, who encountered Griz on the streets many times in the past, and it’s only her, the kittens, and Old Deut who show her any empathy. 

-After the final Memory, Griz is forgiven and welcomed back to the tribe. I haven’t fully decided yet whether Griz should be reborn or stay with the tribe. I’m leaning towards staying with the tribe, because it’s a neat idea that I want to play around with. Griz mending her relationships with the other tribe members and her direct family would take a lot of time, and her getting back into the swing of her old life is an interesting concept, there’s just so much good material in that setup that I want to explore, I’m just trying to decide whether I want to differentiate it from this au or not. 

Extra stuff for this au:

The idea that I was trying to get across with this, is that everything came down to a lack of communication. In reality, no one was ever pressuring Griz to become the leader, if she had said something, the tribe would have supported her decision, but on the other hand no one ever asked her how she felt about it either. It’s the lack of discussion from both ends that causes the misunderstandings and tension, and eventually the falling out. 

As an aside, this whole thing is apart of my “idiot universe.” To briefly explain, I have three distinct Cats universes, (which may or may not have been created for the sole purpose of having all my ships be canon, don’t judge me), they’re all separated by how Macavity is characterized. Universe one is my “main” universe, where Macavity is his typical self, universe two is the “redemption” universe where Macavity is less awful and gets redeemed, and universe three is the “idiot” universe where Macavity is just a dumbass who doesn’t pose a threat to anyone. He’s still a criminal, but only moderately worse than Jerrie and Teazer. So yes, this Griz sibling thing is in the “idiot” universe. 

If any of you are more interested in the three universes Mac’s, here’s a full post on it from like two months ago, it’s pretty shit and there are some things I’ve changed my mind about since then, but it still has some nice details. It’s also from before I had all these followers, so I was still posting to the void lmao. Also, that post was from before storyweaverofgondor made that excellent post explaining Mungocavity, so I was just throwing ideas against the wall for the pairing and trying to come up with a ship name XD. I’m so glad her post made the pairing a bit more popular because I thought I was doomed to be alone in shipping it lol. 

I’ve really been liking the “Tugger and Demeter are siblings” idea thanks to return-of-the-skimbly and thepansexualspoon, and I kinda want to incorporate it into one of my universe’s somehow, but I haven’t decided which one. I also can’t decide if I’d still have Munk as their sibling too if I went that route, but I know for sure that it won’t be in my “main” universe because of Demebombastrap. I’ve been thinking about putting it in the “idiot” universe, in which case I’ll have to edit some of the headcanons in this post. In fact, I’ll probably need to make a separate post explaining Deme’s whole side of it if I do that. *Sigh* there’s just too many fun ideas to work with! 

#cats the musical #grizabella #munkustrap #rum tum tugger #my rambles #my original posts #long post #old deuteronomy #cats headcanons #cats aus #I wanna make more posts about my three universes because they keep getting more elaborate and I need to talk about them ajdsakms #I'm not @ing the people I mention because the @ is at the very bottom of this post and this post is very long #I don't want to put them through the pain of having to read this mess so I'm just not @ing them #might also be because of my anxiety where I want to post this but simultaneously don't want people to read it hsadjjaka #also yeah I know 'idiot' universe isn't the most proper name but I might come up with something better later on

[50shadesofmittens]

Eqippable Ally AU

SO during my recent conversation with coaxionunlimited I got a lot of my vague AU’s fleshed out. As in, I finally put down to words some of the insane ideas I’ve had bouncing around my head for ages now.

Here’s the Equippable Ally AU, the first one we talked about and one of the longest

More under the cut, ‘cause this gonna be LONG

So to start, ideas of each Primarch in this AU

Like Corvus winding up Equippable Ally with Sly Marbo bc why not and also Marbo equipped with a Primarch-powered weapon is SCARY

ALSO Ferrus Manus still alive kinda equipping Kitten during a moment of High Tension when Magnus for whatever reason can’t be the equippable ally- cue Magnus jealousy even given full understanding of the intense circumstances

And possibly the first thing Fulgrim does once somebody gets his soul free of the paining and his body back from the daemon inhabiting it is become an Equippable Ally to one of the Space Marines in the area- proving that he’s on the good guys side for real but also that’s he’s willing to let someone else take control of it means getting better results, and maybe also that he’s traumatized to the point where he can’t make very good decisions for himself but he recognizes this flaw and is willing to take measures to work around/through it

Also Mittens makes a powerful pair because the two can work together directly in combat- Kitten taking over the physical aspects while Magnus handles all the magical ones working in the battle- and as the two learn to work together they combine their strengths into more powerful combos

Btw I like to imagine all the Primarchs have In Love With Your Carnage literally hardwired into their DNA to some degree, which affects the crack pairings I had for the Equippable Ally AU

Like apart from Mittens, you have:

Corvus and Sly Marbo (which the Void Dragon approves heavily of as an example of Rescue Romance)

Russ and Ygrainne (ie the badass Eldar who cannon thinks is Guilliman’s girlfriend- in this AU they met in Commoragh’s fighting pits and now have UST from both considering the other inferior while also being able to hold their own against each other)

Dorn has Karstodes (and that one is explicitly They Won’t because it’s based on Dorn being unable to deny that Karstodes is a very good fighter and he finds his technique and strength in battle arousing while hating his personality, and Karstodes being an Abhorrent Admirer)

Then comes the mechanics behind the Equippable Ally bit, ie How It Works

The Primarch literally turns into a sword of some kind

Like all swords are based on the Emperors flaming sword, but some minor details causing differences between them

As for the power, there’s three ways this could work

One; swords have energy blasts, a la Zelda or Bleach. The power behind these blasts is roughly 3-12 times the amount of power a Primarch would put into the same kind of swing if it was used by his own hands

Two: if the sword can be incorporated into any other battle style, the sword will glow, possibly cause the person wielding it to glow, and then the attack will have the same power as though the Primarch performed it but with 1.5-8 times the power the Primarch would’ve had

Three- Primarch can use his Psyker powers within the sword by using the weirder as a conduit. This has a bonus of 2-10 times its usual power, but the caveat is that the weirder cannot be mind-controlled and has the ability to drop the sword at any time, meaning that the Primarch can’t force someone to be a conduit for a spell they don’t want to be part of

A Primarch-as-weapon weapon is FAR more powerful than the Primarchs-as-people are

IE the weapon they turn into can do more damage than a Primarchs alone can

That’s why any Primarchs would agree to it- the end result is more powerful than what they could create alone

Biggest downside is that using that power is hard- using it effectively is double hard

See, the power modifier the wielder gets is tied to the Primarchs ability to do that any specific move. Throw a knife while holding Konrad-sword is much more powerful than throwing a knife while holding say Sanguinius sword, because the former can throw knives much better than the latter. Of course being Primarchs they’re pretty good at anything- this is more of a way to note that some Primarchs will supply bigger bonuses than others

The other thing- and this is the big one- is that the Primarch cannot guide or directly control the movements of the weirder, and the overall strength of an attack is reflected by if the WIELDER’s exact actions were taken by a Primarch- so if someone swings a Primarch sword with horrific form, it’ll have a lot of force but if they would’ve dropped a normal sword with a move like that, they’ll drop the Primarch sword. What’s more the power output increase adds even more destabilization because people really arent naturally good at handling more power than they’re used to- kickback is still a thing, and even with the defenses of a Primarch being added, Primarchs also have enhanced pain tolerance, so what a Primarch might consider mild soreness will be shocking and difficult to handle for a normal person experiencing the same thing

TLDR; it takes a lot of skill to handle Primarch Weapons well. Hence why it’s pretty useless unless the Primarch has someone he trusts who understands him very well and can fight on or close to his level

It’s like handing a civilian an automatic gun- they theoretically have the ability to use it just fine, they know how to press the trigger and point away from themselves, but they still aren’t fully qualified to use it

Then there’s a really stupid scene with Magnus and Russ throwing a limitless supply of soft silk shoes at each other at 400km/hr, Thanks to magic arbitrary rules and/or the bs of a powerful Mars dragon or a god

So I figure this might be a good time to explain where my own Equippable Ally AU was going- it was largely based on fairy-tales and the parody and exploitation thereof

Like the basic idea was that the Void Dragon A) is alive B) has a grudge against Emps and C) is still/also very much into medieval fairytales like the one of Saint George, largely because Emps was obsessed with them when he fought it

Only the dragon doesn’t really ‘get’ gender so it decides that the traditional fairytale setting where a prince or a princess is trapped and must be freed/rescued by their One True Love is a good narratively-sound way to seek Revenge- it casts the Primarchs as the “princesses” of the tale

Mainly Ferrus Manus, who has been trapped with the dragon for 10,000 years while they both waited for someone to try to rescue him, not knowing that almost all of the Galaxy thinks he’s dead. This has given the dragon much time to play dress up with Ferrus

So when the dragon learns of the Equippable Ally thing, it decides “Ah HA! This is how I identify the One True Love who is to try to rescue the children of my enemy! My greatest threat (according to all the tropes I know)!”

Only there’s more than one Equippable Ally bond, so the dragon doesn’t know which one is, narratively speaking, the Hero/Heroine.

So it decides to make all the people bonded to a Primarch in this manner fight to the death, and the winner will obviously be the Protagonist that the dragon seeks

(I realize I failed to mention this, but the dragon has cast Emps in the role of Good King whose Kingdom is threatened and who must rely on the Hero/Heroine to save the day. This is in fact the way the Dragon seeks revenge- it believes the narrative will not LET the Emperor face it, so when it defeats the new protagonist it will have won)

(The void dragon is kinda insane and believes fairy tale logic is an actual force of nature)

Anyways, the dragon decides the best way to force the Potential Protagonists to fight is to hold their True Loves hostage- good thing it’s got millennia of practice keeping Ferrus from running away

And both Russ and Magnus wind up kidnapped for this tournament.

And the dragon doesn’t just believe in fairy tales, no it wants these battles to LOOK heroic and fairy tale like.

So it dresses all the Primarchs in medieval dresses (it’s other reason for doing this is that it enjoyed playing dress up with Ferrus and would like to try with his brothers now)

When the “tournament” goes down all the Primarchs are put on display so their “true loves” can be reminded what’s at stake

Which just means Magnus and Russ see each other and try to kill each other. The Void Dragon has them separated and magic blocked to avoid this.

The Void Dragon doesn’t want Magnus and Russ killing each other in the Equippable Ally AU bc it’s all like “No no no, you two are Princesses, your heroic knights are the ones meant to be proving themselves and fighting to the death, your role is to be the pretty trophy they win, this is not how the story goes. The HERO is the one who proves their strength, the love interest can’t die in a fratricidal duel while the Hero is fighting for his life- that would be an awful story! Here just- just stay separate, you two, at least until the tournament is over”

Thing is, at least one of the kidnapped Primarchs wanted to get out of the dress he’s in, and discovered that the dresses are self-repairing, and any pieces of the outfit lost or thrown away will be replaced instantly

Magnus and Russ take this to mean “we have infinite ammo to throw at each other”

They start with jewelry bc it’s hard and might theoretically do a tiny scratch of damage if thrown fast enough, but that gets taken away. Then they find that the shoes, which are fabric and soft, cannot do damage and do not get taken away when thrown

So Magnus and Russ ignore the entire death match going on around them to throw shoes at each other at 500 km/hr, in the futile hope that it will do some damage to the other

The entire thing has been me getting the idea for like a 30-sec scene animation, but as you can see it has WAY too much backstory behind it

I can’t remember if I started with Fairy Tale parodies combining with Equippable Ally trope, or if I just wanted Magnus and Russ to throw shoes at each other and the rest built itself around that

(Also Also, Russ and Magnus eventually do get tired of not getting anywhere, and Corvus celebrates their seeing reason and stopping their pointless (albeit commendable on Russ’ part) attempts at homicide with weapons that clearly cannot kill the other

Then Dorn points out the shoes could theoretically be used to kill a Primarch if you literally smothered a Primarch in shoes so that he had no access to air and then kept him there for the full three standard years it would take for him to suffocate.

Russ and Magnus immediately begin throwing shoes again)

(Corvus Facepalms)

#fic ideas #equippable ally au #my otp #crack pairings #tts

[mythicamagic]

Diabolik Fairy Tales - Chapter 9

AU - Diabolik Lovers re-imagined as fairy tale characters. Each chapter will feature a different diaboy, as their dark natures become entwined with the original macabre fairy tales of the past. Includes smut with a nameless heroine (slight reader insert)

Rated M               Trailer is here        (you can read all my fics here on fanfiction.net or Ao3)

Chapter 1 - Yuma Mukami                          Chapter 2 - Shuu Sakamaki

Chapter 3 - Kanato Sakamaki                      Chapter 4 - Ayato Sakamaki

Chapter 5 - Ruki Mukami                               Chapter 6 - Laito Sakamaki

Chapter 7 - Azusa Mukami                            Chapter 8 - Reiji Sakamaki

Chapter 9 - Kou Mukami                           Chapter 10 - Subaru Sakamaki (end)

Warnings: Smut, dark themes.

AN: Okay so Dorian Grey isn't a fairy tale, but if Once Upon a Time can have The Count of Monte Cristo in their series, then I'm taking this bad boy to town.

Btw I am not trying to 'censor' Basil Hallward by essentially making a female OC of his position in the story, nor any gay subtext and what not. You can debate his feelings towards Dorian in your own time, but I'm just saying, Basil was a sweet man, and hypothetically that asshat Dorian would not deserve hi- (rants about a book brought out in 1890.)

Also you'll notice that Kou's backstory here doesn't include the orphanage, but as this fic goes on, it'll incorporate the themes of his abuse there.

Mea culpa

"The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself, with desire for what its monstrous laws have made monstrous and unlawful."

~ Oscar Wilde

The smell from the kitchen wafted light and pleasant through the air. It lured the Baron's daughter from her bedroom, rubbing her eye. Her stomach rumbled as she smiled innocently up at the cook.

"None for you, miss," chided the older woman.

The girl lowered her eyes, still grinning slightly. "I just wanted a midnight snack." She glanced up once more, eyes twinkling. "Father doesn't have to know."

With a sigh, she relented, returning the child's smile. It was difficult to say no when the little girl was covered in random splodges of paint. No doubt the Baron's daughter had been up out of hours painting again.

"I guess you'll need something to keep you going, if you're to create a masterpiece." The cook muttered, pushing a plate of leftovers towards her.

The girl grinned, accepting the plate with a nod of thanks. She bid the cook a goodnight, and walked away. As she passed by one of the doors in the kitchen however, she heard a clatter from outside. Glancing around, she realised that the cook had left the kitchen. Left alone, she placed her plate down and opened the door, peering out curiously.

Despite knowing it was a door used primarily for servants to gain access into the alleyway, the girl dismissed this as she stepped outside. The alleyway was bathed in dark, grim colours. Light cast by a lamppost nearby guided her as she glanced around. The usual bustle of the city surroundings sounded quiet and subdued.

Shivering, the girl wrapped her arms around herself, before she jumped, hearing another clatter. A tin can rolled out of the darkness towards her feet, and she noticed a rubbish bin had been tipped over.

Thinking it was some sort of cat that had made the noise, she grabbed her plate and brought it out, squinting into the dark.

"Here, kitty kitty." She called, making little noises and putting the plate onto the ground, pushing it out in offering.

Another clatter, like something moving, encouraged her. She continued to call, only to stop when a single brown shoe stepped into the dreary light. The girl froze as what looked like a creature about her height, inched forward. He was covered in grime, so much so that she couldn't tell the colour of his hair. He stopped a safe distance from her, his eyes making her breath hitch.

They were light, glimmering blue.

The utter beauty of them was enough to make her smile and push the plate further towards him. The boy fell on his knees in an instant, grabbing the food in his hands and frantically stuffing it in his mouth. She watched him eat dazedly, having never seen such desperation in her life.

"W-would you like a drink of water?" She asked.

Wide eyes snapped up to look at her, before he very slowly, carefully, nodded. She quickly scampered back inside and fetched a glass for him, which the boy drained with all the vigour of a man dying of thirst.

"Would you like to come inside?" The girl asked, once his plate had been licked clean.

Blue eyes widened as he stilled. He then slowly, confusedly shook his head. The girl sat back on her heels and sighed, but nodded in acceptance.

The boy motioned to her clothes, pointing to the bright blotches of reds, blues and oranges staining her frock.

She smiled. "Oh, these? They're from painting. If you like, I could show you another day."

He hesitated, standing up and looking at the open doorway she'd entered from. He slowly nodded, before turning on his heel and running around the corner of the alley. The little girl gasped, running after him to watch him leave. He darted over to the far corner of the city square, before bending down and lifting one of the metal grates in the pavement meant for sewage.

He climbed down inside it, disappearing from sight.

The next night repeated the same actions as the first, much like the fifth and sixth. On the seventh however, the boy finally crept inside her grand house. His blue eyes glanced around, wild and fearful like a cautious animal.

She paid it no mind as she tugged his stained hand along, with all the innocence and goodwill of a child. Leading him to her studio, she bossily instructed him to sit, before making her way over to an easel. She painted his likeness on her canvas while scrunching her nose and biting her lip in concentration, something the boy watched with interest. Finally she presented the finished picture with a flourish, grinning.

His shoulders dropped in disappointment. His image had been painted using murky, dreary colours, all except his eyes, which were two shining blobs of blue.

"Would you like a bath? And maybe some new clothes?" She offered, seeing his sour expression. He nodded without taking his eyes off the picture.

She took his hand, about to lead him from the room when a sharp voice called her name. The girl froze, and turned to see her father in the doorway.

"Who is this boy?" He asked sternly, eyes sweeping distastefully over the street urchin.

She bristled, and quickly explained the situation, punctuating each word with pleading looks. In the end, she begged the boy to stay, but her father stood grim and quiet.

"He may have a bath and a change of clothes, that is the extent of it." He said calmly.

She felt tears well in her eyes, but nodded silently.

The boy was given a bath, and supplied with a second-hand pair of clothes that had previously belonged to one of the cook's children. All the while, the boy wasn't certain how to repay them. Yet when he stepped into the room once more, dressed in pale green, new clothes, the gold of his hair shining bright, his pale skin wiped clean, and his magnificent blue eyes staring up at them, he was struck by their expressions.

They were in awe of him.

New words began to be spoken. Things like beautiful, handsome. The cook wished her own children looked as marvellous as he did.

Even the girl looked at him with new eyes. She stared, until a redness crept into her cheeks and she glanced away.

The boy was accepted into the household as a servant after that.

From then on, whenever he needed something from her, the boy would let her paint his picture as payment. It delighted her to paint him, just as it delighted him to see his image filled with such rich, beautiful colours.

"Come on, come on! Hurry up! I haven't got all day!" Kou called to her, grinning playfully as he flopped down onto a chaise lounge.

"Kou. Give me a minute! I need to make the right hint of gold to highlight your hair. I've got it this time, I know it." The artist wiped her hands thoughtlessly on her apron, tucking loose threads of hair behind her ear and staining her cheek yellow. She squinted critically at the array of paints in-front of her.

His expression soured. "Humph. You've been working non stop for hours. Keep it up and I really will have to brand you a masochist~"

She flushed scarlet as Kou grinned to himself, stretching his long legs out. "What did you think I was when we first met, again? Oh yeah, a kitty. Maybe I should call you 'Masochistic Kitten' instead. It's kinda fitting." He snickered.

"Unless you want me to paint you with a big nose again, Kou, I suggest you hold your tongue."

Kou pouted but complied when she bid him to rise and stand on a platform. The artist took a moment to look at him, briefly acknowledging how much he'd grown from that meek little boy from her childhood, and into the young man that stood before her now. His hair was like spun gold, mischievous eyes blue, and striking.

Unexpectedly, doorbell rang. A butler entered the room soon after, announcing: "Sir Karl Heinz, madam."

The artist quickly set her brush down. "Stay there, Kou!" She called, running from the room towards the entrance.

"But-" his complaint was cut short as she left, and he sighed, smiling slightly.

Karl Heinz was an influential figure among aristocracy. He had a way of flitting in and out of different social circles, yet had such an amiable disposition he never seemed out of place. That was how he'd come to be such good friends with her father. The artist had enough money to put her works on display, but wanted to earn her place among established artists. At age 18, she felt herself more than ready to do so. So she'd invited him over for his opinion and input.

Karl met her in the lobby with a bow as she curtsied. "Thank you so much for meeting with me today."

"Not at all. I've heard good things about your work, not just from your father." Karl spoke with a rich, enticing voice that never failed to draw one's attention.

Smiling bashfully, the artist was about to show him her work in her study, before she stopped and remembered Kou. "If you'll excuse me for just a moment, I forgot something in the next room."

Karl inclined his head politely, and stepped forward. "It is no trouble, I will accompany you."

She felt mild surprise but conceded, ushering him into the room.

"Finally! Do you have any idea how hard it is to stand here-" Kou cut himself off as a prestigious looking man entered along with her, and he clicked his mouth shut, bowing. "Ah, sorry. I didn't know you were following, sir."

"Not at all. Youthful proclamations such as yours are always amusing to these tired ears." Karl smiled.

Kou nodded, awed into silence at the older gentleman's commanding presence.

"Kou was just in the middle of sitting for a picture when you arrived." She clarified, wondering at the assessing look in Karl's eyes. He nodded and requested that she carry on, regardless of his presence. She did so, wishing she could pay attention to their conversation, but unfortunately whenever she painted, she lost herself in work. Kou sometimes had to throw small objects in her direction to gain her attention again. So, as she painted, she drowned out the compliments and flattery that rolled off Karl's tongue. She didn't see Kou laugh it off, before he began to pay attention to the older man's words.

"Youth is so fleeting." Karl was saying. "As you are now, you have the world at your feet. You've been blessed with beauty and fortune after being taken into a good home. Why do you hide such a face away in here? It should be out in the world, breaking hearts." He said amiably.

Kou's brows drew together briefly, before his gaze slid to the busy artist. Karl laughed, the rich cadence of his voice echoing into Kou's heart, unsettling him.

"She will always be here in this studio." He said, making a gesture in the air as if it were unimportant. Kou's lips thinned. Well...he was right to an extent, she didn't travel much.

The artist raised her head after awhile, permitting them to leave for a respite, saying that she just needed to work on the finishing touches. Kou showed Karl out to the garden, where the sunlight made his hair shine with strands of gold.

Karl carried on. "You know that she will remain here, unchanging except for the age that will inevitably stiffen her fingers. You could always come back to her. As she works, you could be out there in the world. You could tame it, make it yours. I have every confidence in that."

Kou blinks, he'd thought about something similar before, as he'd been feeling restless lately, but...

"This place kind of gave me everything. I don't know if I want the world, but...I guess a title for myself would be nice." He says, considering. He didn't want to stay her servant forever. Even if...he remained a servant and something happened between him and his artist, there wouldn't be any point. He couldn't offer a thing.

Karl immediately switched gears. "Beauty can open doors previously shut. Many consider it the greatest worth one can have, such as with china, priceless jewels and one of a kind art pieces. Allow me to help you. I can introduce you to society, and we can utilise that face of yours to reach your goal."

Kou thought of the look of utter amazement and admiration he'd gained when first emerging in fine clothes, spotless of grime, so many years ago. Since then, he'd considered his worth tied with his beauty. Didn't his artist think so as well? She always painted his likeness but it wasn't because she liked him.

Had he been ugly, her father would never have accepted him. He got away with so much around the house even though he was a servant because of his looks.

Karl watched the change in the young man's face intently. The lad had an innocence that he'd never possessed, and was impressionable, a clean slate. Like that of a blank canvas. Karl had a vague curiosity in seeing how far such a gleaming frame could take the blank painting, before it became sordid with fame.

"There." She said, writing her signature in vermilion green in the right hand corner.

Karl stepped up to her side, admiring her work. "Splendid. You've captured him perfectly, down to the last detail."

She smiled awkwardly at the praise, waiting for Kou's assessment. However, he stood frozen, staring at the painting fixedly. The picture was truly him. It looked more real and vibrant than any other she'd created, as if life had been breathed into it. And yet...he couldn't congratulate her for it. The painting looked back at him mockingly with his own innocent face. It was like a personification of everything Karl Heinz had been telling him just moments before. This was his youth, his beauty, his worth, staring at him with bright eyes. He could see it now; years down the line this damn picture would mock him as he stood before it aged. This was him at his most perfect. From every moment onwards, he would slowly decline in value, dying insidiously.

"It's awful." He muttered.

The artist snapped her gaze to his. Never had she heard Kou speak so coldly.

Sensing her gaze, Kou shook his head. "Not the work, it's great. I mean the...pain in the ass of time. It's not fair." He grit his teeth, blood pumping quicker in his veins as something took hold of him. "It's not fair!" The words burst from him in a shout. "Why do I have to wither and age, while this Kou gets to stay young? I feel like it's laughing at me." He growled.

The artist touched his hand, which had balled up into a fist. Her brows knitted. "Kou. I didn't paint it to laugh at you. If it hurts you that much, I can destroy this one and start again."

"Wha-no! You painted this thing for hours. It just..." He quieted. "It just makes me heartsick or something. Makes me wish it were different...that this painting would be the one to age, while I got to stay the same. Imagine how great it would be." Kou said in a soft murmur, gazing at the thing so intensely it made a chill run down her spine.

Karl Heinz laughed, breaking the heavy atmosphere. "What nonsense youth speaks. But I can't fault your idealism, Kou. As for the painting, I think it will do wonderfully when you decide to display it."

"Oh I'm not auctioning or displaying this one, sir." She murmured, before turning to Kou. "This is yours, Kou. I painted it as a thank you for everything so far. " She smiled weakly, sad that he disliked it.

"Ha? Mine?" He blinked.

"Yes. You can do what you like with it, but if you ever sell it, I won't ever forgive you." She sniffed, smile becoming more playful.

Kou glanced at the painting, trying to shake his hatred of it. "So you're happy with me destroying it, but not selling it? Hehe, you're a weird one, Masochistic Ki- Ouch!" He broke off as she poked him hard in the ribs, conscious of their company, before she brushed the wet paintbrush over his cheek, oblivious to Karl's smile.

A few days later, when Karl invited Kou to one of his lunch-meets, the artist thought little of it. Kou readily accepted.

Over the following weeks, she saw very little of Kou. Despite his status as her servant, she'd never really thought of him as such, and thus allowed him to do as he pleased. She kept hearing idle gossip throughout the house that he'd been seen in various luxurious establishments with Karl Heinz and other big name aristocrats for dinner parties. Thinking that her friend deserved such attention and goodwill, she could only be happy for him.

However, as she sat in her empty studio, a twinge of something foreign niggled at her. Was this...loneliness? She'd never felt it before. She'd always had him around to talk with. Funny that she'd fought for peace and quiet, yet now that she had it, she longed for him to pester her again.

Hearing the front door, she couldn't stop herself from rising quickly, smoothing out her steps into a more blase pace as she walked.

"Oh, Kou. Back already?" She asked, leaning against the door-frame to the lobby as he took of his coat. His new, expensive looking coat, she noted.

"Ah! Hello Maso-kitty." He beamed, before tilting his head. "Could it be that you were waiting for me~?"

She folded her arms and scoffed. She'd meant it playfully, but felt herself stiffen slightly when Kou stared at her soberly and seemed to take her reaction at face value. Odd, Kou usually knew her so well.

"Well, never mind, can you do me a favour and help me with these clothes?" He asked, gesturing to his fine clothes. She followed him to his room and helped him with them, not embarrassed in the least about tugging his shirt loose. She'd fixed his clothes many times for grand events when he'd acted as her servant, this wasn't much different.

Kou smiled jadedly. "Do you even think of me as a man?" He mutters as she worked on undoing his buttons.

She stilled and looked at him in surprise. "P-pardon?"

"Ah, it was nothing. I was just reciting a line from a play I saw." He waved his hand dismissively.

The artist's lips thinned. "I'm guessing you saw that play with Karl Heinz." She says, jealousy colouring her voice.

Kou shrugs and steps away, taking off his jacket, followed by his shirt and searching through his wardrobe. Instead of plain clothes befitting a servant like she was expecting, he took out yet another grand set. "He's interesting. What he says makes a lot of sense to me, plus he's been helping me towards my goal. I'm not quite there yet, but I will be." He murmurs, slipping the new shirt on.

"What kind of things does he say?"

Kou hummed. "Ahh just stuff to do with; Beauty, time, and making the most of it to experience as much as you can!" He chirped.

She waited numbly, her fingers frozen as she swallowed. Oddly, it felt like she was losing him. "I see. Are you...going out again, Kou?"

He lifts a shoulder. "Sure. I've got what I came for."

Wondering what he meant by that, the artist floundered. Her heart swayed and ached with things to say, before he uttered a few more words that had it clenching. "Actually...I was thinking about handing in my resignation."

She blinked, tensing. "Kou. You know I've never considered you as my serv-"

"That's funny, because I still remember fetching things for you and your father, and doing chores. Very... servanty." Kou interrupted, fixing his appearance in the mirror, though there was nothing to fix. When he noticed her downtrodden expression, he softened. "I'm really grateful for everything you've done, Masochistic Kitten. Don't think I'm not! It's just..."

"No, don't explain. I understand. " She smiled despite her pain. Kou would be leaving. He needed to become his own person. She hesitated, but couldn't stop herself from walking over to him and hugging him tight around his middle. Kou stiffened at this, inadvertently inhaling the scent of her hair. His arms slid around her waist slowly, pale fingers clenching slightly in the fabric of her dress.

"Whatever this goal is that you need to reach, good luck with it. And write to me, or I'll be cross." She murmured, squeezing tight, before pulling away. Turning on her heel, she rushed out of the room.

Kou watched her leave with an unreadable expression. An image of a blue sky flashed in his mind. She'd know one day what that goal was. It didn't matter how he obtained his desire, so long as he did. As Kou turned, meaning to leave, he stopped at the sight of his painting, hidden away in the corner of the room. He caught his double's eye, and frowned.

For some reason, the lips seemed to have turned up slightly at the edges. Now, the smile looked slightly self-satisfied instead of youthful.

Kou shook his head, telling himself he was seeing things, and left the room.

He wiped at a red mark on his neck with a handkerchief, smudging the imprint of lips before removing it completely. Kou remembered Karl's words. 'The Duchess had just been excited, that was all.'

Women had taken to doing that allot. Kissing him, touching him. He'd been confused by it at first, but Karl said it was natural. He was beautiful after all. Aristocrats especially, loved beautiful things and liked to touch them.

So, Kou shrugged it off, and got drunk on the attention lavished upon him. It had become expected over the past five months for everyone to compliment him, seek him in conversation. He'd gotten so many invitations to go hunting with Barons, or dine with people in polite society. He didn't even need Karl Heinz at his side anymore, offering advice, Kou knew how to talk to them.

Still, he hadn't lost sight of his goal to gain a fortune, and soon he became a presence on the stage.

He hadn't even needed to work his way in, he'd been accepted right away at a grand establishment, that of an opera house. The suddenness of it made Kou question whether he really had talent singing, but Karl assured him it didn't matter. If they were paying just to see his pretty face, what difference did it make?

If their payment is to see me...then mine is their wealth. That sounds fair.

The aristocrats around him parroted the phrase; 'You can't gain something, without giving in return.' It was a surprising sentiment from their kind, but it made Kou relax around them. The philosophy made sense to him.

At that moment, a voice was ringing out into the opera house. The audience watched the young man on stage with rapture, their eyes pinned on him, absorbing every movement. Kou sang softer, glancing at the faces assembled. He'd become used to the sensation of eyes following him, and instead of feeling daunted, his voice became stronger, charisma making his song feel personal to every listener.

When he stopped, a thunderous applause greeted him. Kou grinned and bowed. After straightening, he winked at one of the girls, who blushed.

After the performance, Kou sank into his chair in his dressing room with a sigh. "Whew." He dabbed a napkin against his brow. An open letter on his desk caught his eye, and it he knew it was from his artist.

His hand reached for a piece of parchment, meaning to write a reply. He'd been so swept off his feet lately that he hadn't gotten a chance to.

"Another wonderful performance, Kou!"

He looked up at the mirror before him and automatically smiled. "Thanks!~"

The owner of the opera house greeted him with ruby red lips tilted up. She edged closer, the heavy coat wrapped around her brushing the floor. She took a seat next to him and smiled amiably. "It's good to see you thriving." Her cultured voice praised as she adjusts her coat, the fur lining her collar parting to reveal her collarbone, and more still, exposing her cleavage. Kou blinked and snapped his eyes to her face, blushing slightly.

"Aha, well I'm really grateful you took me on." He chirped, glancing back at the letter.

Kou stopped when something touched his knee. Blue eyes met glittering green. "I just knew that you'd be a success. You've really blossomed on stage. Now that you've gotten what you wanted, you must be pleased."

Kou hesitated. Was he pleased? No...it still wasn't enough. He needed more. More money. More titles. Was Opera Singer really any better than Servant or Street Urchin?

Her hand distracted him as it slid down his thigh. The woman leaned in close, perfume making his senses hazy. "So, you know the saying, honey?" She murmured into his ear.

His spine tingled as he tensed. He remembered Karl Heinz's words, and repeated them softly."...You can't gain something without giving in return."

"That's right honey. I was generous, accepting you so quickly into this place. Now...be a dear, and be generous with me, alright?" Those ruby lips curved up in satisfaction, the coat falling from her shoulders as she stood, running a hand through his hair. Kou dimly noticed the gold band on her finger.

Her lips pressed to his a moment later.

Two Years Later

More hands had touched him now, and instead of shying away, Kou accepted it. In return, he had more wealth than ever before, and had even bought himself an impressive sized house.

Still...the painting unnerved him. His once pristine image was starting to...decline.

The fine clothes he'd been dressed in on that day seemed dirtier, sullied as seams of fabric had split and torn in various places. Once golden hair now looked thin, and had lost it's lustre. Most prevalent of all was an imprint of lipstick on his collar that stood out so starkly against the white it looked like blood. Even his double's expression had changed. Those satisfied lips were now joined by eyes that seemed to be looking down on the viewer, rather than straight at them. Vanity was etched keenly into his features.

Kou jumped at the sound of the door knocker being rapped. He quickly threw a cover over the painting, as he'd been prone to doing these days, and returned it to the little cupboard under the stairs.

He answered the door and felt his heart tighten for a moment, before he dismissed it and smiled. "Maso-Kitty!"

The artist returned his smile, but thought his own a little...off. She couldn't exactly explain it, but her childhood friend felt much changed to her. Nonetheless, she took his offered arm when he shut the door and began to walk with her. Both of their hearts acknowledged the things constantly left unsaid between them. As ever, their lips refused to part. Secrets and desires locked tight behind their teeth.

Four Years Later

A girl had died.

She'd become infatuated with him as he'd sang, and he may have led her on. Perhaps he'd even whispered honeyed words, invited her back to his mansion, enraptured by her expression as he eventually snatched all the promises away in one go. It had been her fault after all. She'd only loved him for his face. He'd loved hers the moment misery, disbelief and pain washed out her expression. She'd been such a spoiled brat too.

"That's right...it should be an equal exchange. Anyone blessed with my presence should pay me something in return. It's only fair." He'd breathed shakily to himself after hearing the news of her suicide.

Kou stared at the painting, blood red stains on it's hands now. His image exuded cruelty.

"S-shut up! Everyone loves me! You...you're the one that's shriveling up like a worm. Heh, looks like I'll outlast you after all."

Kou gave a shaky grin, staring directly into those jaded eyes. His stomach buckled sharply, and Kou fell to his knees, retching. His loud breathing and obscene, gasping sounds burst through the room of the attic.

"Hah...gn...hah..no." He gritted out, wiping vomit from his pale mouth. "I don't...I don't want it anymore. Why did I even wish for this? I can't...I don't remember." His mouth moved senselessly.

Kou forced himself to stand and staggered over to a mirror. His pale reflection stared back, beautiful even in ivory tones. His expression darkened, lips thinning and pressing into a grim line as a violent shudder wrecked his frame.

Kou grabbed a fork from a nearby table.

Eyes slanted up to the mirror again, and then past his reflection to the painting watching mockingly behind him. "Fuck you. Don't...piss me off. If they want me to be perfect then-then I'll just have to disappoint them." He breathed with a thin, airy voice. Blue eyes shook with a depthless terror.

His hand tremored as it gripped the fork tight. Kou then minded his bangs away from the right side of his face with trembling fingers, sweat running down his brow. But his aim was true. With one sharp thrust towards his eye, his mansion was filled with agonised screams.

Six years later

It had been such a long time since she'd seen him last. At least a year. They'd kept in touch via letters, but even they had become sparse. She'd focused her mind on other things, travelled to many countries for art exhibitions. Her work was now displayed in various places, reaching a wide audience.

At that moment though, she waited in the lobby of Kou's luxurious mansion. The butler had explained that the Master of the house was out at the moment, but she was welcome to wait in the living room. The artist had accepted, but she waited anxiously and left her seat, now staring at the front door. She pulled out a pocket mirror, since oddly she hadn't been able to find a single one in the living room or lobby. Catching sight of her reflection, she tucked some hair behind her ear, noticing another grey hair. How annoying, she wasn't that old at 30. Starting at the sound of the door, she turned to see Kou enter, who blinked at the sight of her, before smiling evenly.

"Ah! Masochistic Kitten! You're back from Berlin early." He grinned, setting his things aside and taking off his coat.

She smiled, heart clenching slightly for what she had to do. Walking up to him, she took his hand in both of hers, which he raised a brow at.

"I've missed you, Kou. But...I came here out of deep concern. Let's go talk, alright?"

He frowned in confusion, but slowly nodded, ushering her to the living room. He ordered for the butler, who brought them fine red wine. Kou leaned back in his armchair with a glass and grinned. "Ahh, so what's new? I hear that you've been doing great overseas." He grinned.

Her lips thinned. She knew that tactic well. He always tried to avoid serious conversation, that much hadn't changed. "Kou...enough. I'm worried about you."

Kou glanced at her in confusion. "Eh? Why worry now, of all times? I'm doing better than ever."

"Maybe you are...but the people who come into contact with you certainly aren't." Her hands thread in her lap, eyes downcast.

"Better explain what you mean by that." His tone remained unaffected, but it felt as if something lurked underneath it, coiled and tense.

She shook her head miserably, glancing up at him. "I...I can't keep my silence any longer. I've heard things, like about your friendship with Mr. Campbell. You were wonderful friends, seen at every gathering together, until suddenly you just stopped talking to each other. His family fell into ruin. H-he drank himself to death."

Kou frowned and scoffed. "You're pinning a coincidence like that on me?"

"I am when this kind of thing has happened over and over! Sibyl Vane, who was rumoured to be infatuated with you, she...she killed herself when you rejected her. But there's more to it than just that, like I heard you were actually engaged to her, and toyed with her feelings. Countless marriages have been ruined. Aristocrats I know have become bankrupt. Anyone who involves themselves with you becomes miserable!" She yelled, getting to her feet.

He suddenly stood up, drawing very close to her, with a cruel look she didn't recognise. It didn't belong there, not on a face so beautiful. "Does that include you, spinster?"

She flinched, drawing her hand back and slapping him hard across the face. Kou blinked as his face was struck to the side. His cheek blazed with a harsh sting.

The artist breathed erratically, hot tears pricking her eyes. "I don't...I don't even know who you are anymore. You didn't even come to Father's funeral. W-what happened to you?" Her voice wobbled, heart shaking in her chest.

Everything lapsed into silence for several moments, only broken by her breathing starting to calm, becoming quieter. Kou's empty gaze changed into one that was sightly considering, filled with dark secrets. "Do you want to know, Masochistic Kitten? Come on...I'll show you, and only you."

He led the artist up to the attic. Unlocking the door, he walked inside, and closed it behind her. She met his eyes and felt cautious for the first time in his company. Oddly...she felt like a stranger in his presence.

Kou walked over to something hanging on the wall, but it was covered by a drape. He then looked straight at her, wanting to drink in her expression as the cover was pulled free.

Her breath shuddered, before her hand smothered the gasp that escaped her lips. Revolution pulsed, her stomach lurching at the sight. "What...is this, Kou?"

"Don't you recognise it, Masochistic Kitten? Heh, it's your pretty painting of me. Only, I guess it's changed a little." His cheerful act fell away, to reveal a jaded, warped gaze as he considered the painting dully. "I guess you could say this piece has more of me in it, than I have in myself."

The air rushed out of her lungs, and she silently shook her head in horror, staring at the decrepit thing. Yet when she looked at Kou again, she started at the sight of his right eye, which glowed red.

"No. This isn't the painting I made, it-it's so-" she swallowed thickly, tasting bile. The person in the frame was hideous, malevolent and cold.

Kou clamps his hands on her shoulders from behind, she didn't know when he'd moved- forcing her closer to the painting. She struggled, wanting to be far away from the awful sight. Kou grabbed her chin firmly, almost painfully, and turned her face to look at the image. "Don't you see it though? Your signature?" He breathed in a sadistic rush.

She stilled as vermilion green letters catch her eye. "Oh, Kou." She choked. "H-how?" It was the only thing she could grit out.

"I guess I got my wish. My looks don't seem to alter. Haven't you noticed?" He tilted his head, blond locks sliding over the side of his face.

Unable to bare it, the artist wrenched herself free from his grip, but firm hands pinned her against the wall, right next to where the painting hung. She stared at him with wide eyes, and suddenly it hit her. After all the time that had passed, he didn't look any older than 18.

"You haven't...aged." She murmurs dazedly, thinking of the grey hairs she'd discovered in her own hair. Why hadn't she noticed it before? The more she looked at him, the more wrong his image seemed. It was flawless. Too much so. It felt unnerving.

And yet, her hands came up to frame his face delicately, caressing his hair and skin softly. Kou started at her touch, staring at her. "You find it disgusting, don't you?" He muttered.

"I just...don't understand it. But...I want to help you Kou. Y-you know, like before?" She gave a strained smile, eyes welling with tears.

If he'd had feelings like guilt, Kou might have collapsed from it right then. As it was...nostalgia clenched his jaded heart, and he slowly leaned in, the fight leaving him all at once. He rested his head on her shoulder, still holding her in place, and breathed out heavily.

A moment later, he leaned up, pressing his lips to hers. His tongue swept over her bottom lip, before prying it into her mouth. The artist squeaked when she felt him brush her tongue with his own, freezing from shock. Their chests met, bodies pressing close to each other.

Kou held her against the wall, and despite her surprise and confusion, the artist did not struggle. However, something weighed in the pit of her stomach. The weight only grew heavier as Kou leaned back to look at her, smiling jaggedly.

"You're happy, aren't you? Aren't you?" He breathed. "That's because...you love me, right?"

She shuddered as her corset was loosened and pulled free. "K-Kou, what are you doing? We don't...do this." She murmured, cheeks blazing. A part of her had longed for it, some time ago. But her body blazed alive under his touch. The feelings she'd suppressed came rushing back. All at once it was like they were teenagers again.

She started as he tugged a little too harshly at the fabric, exposing her shoulders.

"That's good...such a frightened expression looks so cute on you." Kou smiled, sweeping a hand through her hair, tugging at the stands to yank her closer. Making a small sound, she grit her teeth. His breath fanned over her neck, kissing the skin hungrily, needy hands smoothing over her body. "Why...why did I wait so long to do this? I should have had you from the start." He muttered, almost to himself. Her eyes widened slightly.

They stumbled in a tangle of limbs to the floor, Kou landing atop her. His hands wandered and cupped her breasts, massaging the flesh. The artist trembled, releasing a small protest.

"Heh, don't be silly. You should be thanking me...after all, you're being touched by me. It's natural to be pleased. Everyone is always happy when I touch or look at them. You have the same enchantment in your eyes."

Skirts ripped and discarded, she fell unresisting into his hands as he slid two fingers inside her entrance.

He chuckled breathlessly. "You're so wet. Look how it sticks to my fingers. Hehe."

Shuddering, she writhed and panted quietly as his fingers circled maddeningly inside her. "You're so easy to read...this eye of mine sees everything inside your heart. Ah, and what's this?" Kou leaned in close to whisper in her ear. "My face is the only thing that resides there." His single red eye peeked out from behind his bangs, glowing eerily in the dark.

She reached for him daringly and smoothed his bangs aside. "K-kou. Why is your eye a different color? You never explained..."

Kou smiled thinly and reached up with his free hand, even as his fingers thrust harder inside her. She gasped and paled as he touched his right eye. Taking it out, he revealed it to be made of glass.

He smiled at her reaction, the blank socket staring back at her. "I tried not to be pretty anymore." He said, circling his fingers in her sex until they were totally soaked. "It didn't work. In fact...people liked the imperfect beauty more."

As he took off his shirt and discarded it, her breath caught at the marks on his body. His back held the most damage. Long, harsh rivets scarred his skin. Kou tilted his head and lifted a shoulder.

"They wanted more entertainment, so they gave me more imperfections. It pleased them. Hmm, let's not think about it anymore~" He said and finally freed his erection, which had been straining against his clothes, he sank inside her with a single thrust that had her back arching. She cried out, eyes wide from the feeling.

"Gn! Ah...no way, somehow, you feel amazing." He panted, grinning and beginning to move his hips against hers, sliding inside her wet folds.

Unable to keep herself from moaning, she desperately tried to censor the sounds by putting the back of her hand over her mouth.

"Stop that! Don't even think about hiding your voice." He suddenly growled, teeth flashing. She shuddered, frowning, and obeyed, her eyes darting away from his face. "Don't look away either. Tch, you're pissing me off. Are you behaving badly because you want to be tormented by me?" Kou hissed.

The artist jumped and made a small sound as he bit her neck, sucking the flesh harshly and leaving a hickey.

"K-kou!" She gasped.

"Aha, the more you're tormented, the more tightly you grip me. I think you're getting wetter too. Guess you really are a Masochistic Kitten. Be a good kitty and cry for me. Louder..."

She moaned and grit her teeth, nails biting into his shoulders as her cheeks flamed redder. Kou bid his hips to move faster, until he pinned hers to the floor and rutted against her hard and fast, panting wildly.

The artist cried out when the painfully tight ache within her loosened, and blinding pleasure ignited her. Consumed with the feeling, she dazedly held onto Kou as he groaned and bucked his hips some more. His pace became erratic, before he finally released, gasping loudly into her neck.

Silence descended, only broken by quiet panting. They lay entwined for a few moments, lips inches apart and breath mingling. After glimpsing the darkness she knew to be inside him, the artist started when his hand cupped her cheek almost reverently. "Why did...we drift apart?" He murmured.

Her eyes misted over with hot tears. They silently escaped, rolling down her cheeks.

Kou sat up some hours later, the bed-covers pooling at his waist. He looked down at the woman beside him and watched her with tired eyes. How far away it all seemed...those days spent with her. Kou sighed and left the bed.

Surely, he thought, the painting looked a little better now. I made her happy. So in exchange...my soul is a little purer. It's only fair.

He made his way up the long flight of stairs, and further still to the attic.

Yet the moment his eyes fell on it, Kou shrank back. A noise was ripped from his lips, rising high like a wail as he trembled.

The painting looked even uglier than before. Now pride and smugness marred those cruel, thin lips, still tilted up in what had become a mockery of a warm smile.

"Why..."

Horror gave way to anger, curling his hands into tight fists. "WHY? I was selfless! I gave her what she'd been seeking all along! Don't laugh at me!" Kou yelled, the sound of his voice bouncing off the walls.

The painting stared back with knowing, jaded eyes. Kou breathed heavily, shaking. What if...what if he hadn't been selfless? Had she even...wanted him?

In his heart, he knew physical intimacy and love wasn't enough to absolve him. His breathing escalated. No. No, it wasn't fair! Where was his equal exchange?

Kou shuddered with rage and grabbed the painting off the wall. His lips thinned, eyes narrowing. He'd get his equal exchange, just not with her.

Mild confusion had spread throughout the upper class when they'd heard news that Kou was holding an exhibition. This confusion had doubled when it was announced as a closed exhibition, only invited guests being able to attend.

The owner of the opera house huffed. "I didn't even know dear Kou could paint. This is unexpected."

Karl Heinz glanced around, noting the high windows, closed room and single exit behind them. He then took notice of the guests assembled, primarily consisting of aristocrats who knew Kou well.

He drew back and stepped towards the exit. "Yes, please excuse me. I've just remembered a previous engagement." He muttered.  Karl then walked outside, standing some distance away, and watched as the doors slid shut.

Wine glasses were passed around inside, filled with expensive red wine. Kou walked out in front of them on an elevated platform, something hanging behind him on the wall. "Hello everyone!~ Thanks for coming! It's great to see you all." He beamed.

The guests assembled laugh. Their sharp eyes appraised him all over again, like admiring a cut of meat. Some had branded that fair skin, others had left love bites. All in the name of entertainment.

"Cheers everyone!" Kou said, raising his glass. They echoed this with a hearty cheer and downed their glasses.

Their laughter and chatter soon descended into stunned, horrified silence when Kou went on to reveal his single painting on display. He drank in their expressions with a wide, empty smile.

Gasps and cries of horror rang out when the first aristocrat fell, followed by the second. Glass shattered. Wine spilled as the people choked, frothing at the mouth. A red substance leaked out from between their teeth. Kou watched with dead eyes as they began to fall, holding his own wine glass and looking calmly at the red substance that reflected his image. "Looks like…I can't obtain that blue sky, after all…"

He'd remembered his goal, that of a life somewhere with his artist, under a blue sky. But the people before him had ruined that. Ruined him. So, he was giving them their equal exchange, and his.

A man, who Kou recognised as a Viscount, staggered towards him, rage clashing with terror in his eyes as he realised the culprit behind the disaster. He brandished a knife, coughing harshly. "You twisted, vile-"

Kou ducked out of the way, staggering. The man swung down the knife, swiping into the painting instead.

Outside, his artist ran straight for the doors, passing Karl Heinz on the street. Kou had left her a strange letter, and after hearing about the exhibition and thinking about his scars, she'd headed straight there. Bursting in through the doors, she froze at the sight of the fallen bodies.

A strangled noise escaped her throat. Her knees buckled, head bowing. "Kou…"

Up on the platform, the image on the torn painting showed that of a handsome, young man, returned to splendour.

Not a trace was left of Kou, except that of a red glass eye.

#diabolik lovers #kou mukami #diabolik lovers fanfiction #diahell #diabolik fairytales

[chicklette]

Writing Meme

I was tagged by @buckities :)

+Where do you publish your work? Mostly Ao3.  Now and then i try to refresh my ffn page, but nah.

+What medium/application/etc. you use? Word for writing, gdocs for saving.  I also run p. much everything through grammarly and some other languagey software.

+Do you collaborate with others? I feel like my relationship with my beta is collaborative.  I can talk ideas out with her and she’ll say things like ‘oooh crying’ or, ‘honey, no.’  I write better when I have one person to bounce things off of, and terribly if I have more than that.

+How much editing do you do before you publish? D: allll the editing.  I *try* to leave newly written things alone for a day or two before I reread/edit, and since I usually write out of order, that works out ok.  But most of the time my first draft is just the bare bones stuff, and then I have to go back through and add things like scene and setting and give the characters little things to do with their hands or sew in their facial expressions.  SO that usually happens on round 3-5 of editing, but really I edit little bits here and there every day.  Before I post anything, I go back through all the notes from all the betas and incorporate their suggestions as well.   I try to have at least two betas - my cheerleader beta who is *wonderful* and either a sensitivity beta (btw, I could use a regular sensitivity beta if anyone is interested) or just a second set of eyes to say lol no when I’ve done something terribad.

+Do you listen to music while you write? I write a lot in my head, and when I’m doing that, absolutely.  But when I’m sitting down to spew words on paper, nope.  I’ll drift off and wind up with a page full of song lyrics.  

+How do you decide what to write about? I try to write the fics I want to read, so usually, it’s something that I haven’t found in fic - a pairing or subject area or circumstance that I can’t get enough of.

+When do you write? Alll the time.  If I’m at my computer, my doc is open.  I’ve been amazed at how many words I get in just throwing something down here and there when I have the time.  I also try to block off a couple of hours every weekend to do edits and produce new content, if possible. 

+How often do you write? Pretty much daily, but I recently took a few days off and it was nice.  I felt like I had something to say when I sat back down to write again.

+Do you take requests? I don’t...no?  I’ve had a couple for a different fandom, and I spent so much time fretting over whether it was what the person wanted that I got really stymied.  I mean...shoot me a request?  If the idea grabs me, I’ll write it.

+Is there a genre or type of story you want to write but are hesitant to? I wish I wrote better pining or fluff or humor because honestly, fake relationship AUs (with pining and bed sharing pls!) is where I want to live, but I suck at all aspects of that trope.

+Any inspirational quotes, videos, tricks, articles, etc that help you stay motivated? I’ve been anti-outline my entire life and for the fic I’m writing now, I actually settled down and made one and it’s been a massive help.  Some deeply lovely human made this whole excel workbook that lets you create an outline as bare-boned or as detailed as you like.  I discovered it when I was maybe halfway through the fic I’m writing now, and it really helped me clarify which scenes go where, and where the story was going.  Hint: It is not the story I started writing. 

+Go to page 7 of your WIP, skip to the 7th line, and share 7 sentences: Sam/Bucky no powers AU:

“You should come over when you’re done,” he says.

Bucky looks up at him from where he’s sitting on a bar stool.  “Yeah?”

Biting his lip, Sam sucks it into his mouth before releasing it.  Bucky’s mouth falls open and Sam smirks.  “Yeah.”

It’s four in the morning when Sam shifts awake as the bed dips beside him.

“Sam,” Bucky says, and then he’s marking Sam’s neck with hot, wet kisses from behind.  “Sammy, you awake?”

Taking a deep breath, Sam turns over and Bucky dives into his embrace.

“Jesus, you taste good,” Bucky mutters, sucking kisses across Sam’s collarbones.

tagging @buffyscribbles  @tisfan (pick a wip, any wip) @ellie-nors   @theprinceofprinces