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#billy’s mom
ickypuppi3 · 1 month
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billy’s mom waking him up while it’s still dark, whispering even though neil’s working the night shift. it’s a couple days before his tenth birthday and she’s telling him they’re going to have their very own adventure, just like the ones in billy’s books. she grabs an already packed suitcase from under billy’s bed and kisses him on the nose, tells him to get dressed quick. the two of them leave in an old beat up yellow bug that she managed to get for a third of the asking price and keep parked around the corner until now. they stay with friends and jump from place to place so neil can’t track them down. billy gets used to surfing couches and staying in motels.
he spends his tenth birthday in a diner, his mom gets him a big stack of pancakes and a milkshake with extra cherries. gets a candle out her pocket along with her silver lighter. sings happy birthday and pulls a face when the waitress frowns at them, just to make billy laugh. she sips at her coffee while billy tucks in. smiles when he holds some out with a “c’mon mama, share with me.”
billy thinks it’s neat. thinks it’s the best birthday he’s ever had.
they eventually end up with a place in california, a little bungalow near the coast and billy grows up with his mom. billy gets pretty shirts from the thrift store ‘cause his mama lets him do stuff like that. doesn’t call him a queer, doesn’t force a baseball bat into his hands whilst yelling at him for crying, for being a pussy. his mom lets him read and keep a journal and press flowers between the pages of the neverending story, she plays hendrix and dusty springfield and laughs when billy comes home from his friends’ house with his first piercing at thirteen. she doesn’t tear down his posters or yell when she finds him using her eyeliner.
and everything’s perfect. sort of.
they have bad days- billy’s mom has bad days. billy calls them gray days ‘cause that’s how the world looks when she’s like this. all her color gone. no singing-dancing in the kitchen or baking five different kinds of cake because she couldn’t decide which one was best, no last minute trips to the beach or sitting outside at night and telling billy about the stars. instead she’ll stay in bed, won’t go to work. she’ll stare at the wall blankly and look right through billy when he tries to talk to her. she won’t take the pills the doc gave her and billy doesn’t know what to do. never knows what to do. just chews at his lip until it bleeds, bites at his thumb until it’s red raw. he’ll get in the bed with her. lay beside her and just talk like she used to do with him when he had a nightmare. hum a song to her.
billy’s still pissed at the world just slightly less so. still has that anger and anxiousness simmering just below the surface and shows his teeth when cornered. he’s still hardened in a way that a kid shouldn’t be but. it’s different. there’s no neil. the only bloody noses he gets are at school, when he fights with the kids who call him a fag and a fairy, call his mom a basket case. he uses fists when they laugh and ask if she’s all there with a finger pointing at their heads, ask if billy will “catch the crazy.”
those are billy’s bad days. sitting in the principals office, icing his knuckles.
when he’s fifteen, billy manages to bag a job at the local auto repair by turning up every day and telling howie how good he’d be, that he knows cars and it’s all he wants to do and please please please. eyebrows pulled together, eyes puppy dog wide and hands clasped in front of him until howie grumbles, throws an oily rag at billy. says fine but billy’s gotta pay for anything he damages. someone brings in a chevy camaro and billy asks howie to let him help fix it up. does the begging again until howie laughs. says get a hold of yourself, kid, voice fond as he ruffles billy’s hair.
billy’s four months away from turning seventeen when the doorbell goes. he’s eating a sandwich and watching knight rider. he’s wearing the necklace his mom got him for his last birthday and- he answers the door. doesn’t think twice. freezes when he sees neil standing there. he looks different. hair a little shorter and more wrinkles. where billy’s gained weight, gained muscle, neil’s lost it. his eyes are a little sunken and he’s still got his wedding band on. he reeks of booze. billy has to remind himself to speak, just says “yeah?” his voice comes out small and neil smiles at him. smiles and billy feels this weird twist in his stomach ‘cause .. that’s his dad and he hasn’t seen him in years and it twists and twists and-
turns out. not much has changed. billy realises a little too late that neil will always be neil. they run again. have to leave everything behind. billy doesn’t get to say bye to his friends, to howie, to the car. they leave a lot of stuff behind and head in any direction away from neil. they both try to keep the mood light, take turns driving and play the tapes billy grabbed. they end up in indiana- hawkins. they stay at a motel until billy’s mom finds a place for dirt cheap. it has two bedrooms and a dingy bathroom, a living room slash kitchen and one hell of a damp problem. it’s dirt cheap for a reason.
it’s above a shop in town and- it’s fine. their landlord is an asshole but they’re together and they’ve got a roof over their heads. billy’s enrolled at hawkins high and his mom gets a job at the laundromat. he tells her that he doesn’t need to go to school, that he could just work and help pay the bills but his mom won’t have any of it. says that she wishes she had finished school and that billy’s too clever to waste it. that he has potential.
billy knows the reason she dropped out of school was because she had him. he just nods, rests his head on her shoulder.
it’s billy’s first day at school and his mom drives him to make sure he actually goes. he gets out the car and tries to shake the nerves off. straightens up and puts on his act. plasters a fake smile on his face and it’s working, he’s got most of the girls swooning and the boys at least seem curious. billy looks around and his eyes land on a guy leaning up against a bmw. his hair’s coiffed to high heaven and he’s wearing a polo, preppy as fuck but- pretty. it’s one of the first things billy realises about him, all doe eyes and moles dotted just about everywhere. he’s got a smirk on his face. not aimed at billy but the guy beside him.
pretty-boy walks over to him and billy raises an eyebrow, plays it cool. he introduces himself as steve and billy gets the idea that he’s top dog at hawkins high, is immediately proved right when they step into the building. king steve, freckles calls him. billy laughs- catches steve looking at him when he does and feels his face get hot. steve just smiles wider, calls billy california and tells him to sit with them at lunch. billy tries to ignore the way steve’s smile makes him feel like the rug’s been pulled out from under his feet.
he nods and steve grins. tugs at one of billy’s curls.
says “i think you’re gonna like it here, california.”
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manwrre · 4 months
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canon is billy (sweetest boy ever) being taught all about paganism and spirituality by his mom and actively participating in rituals with her as a kid. i am in love with the concept and the thought of him carrying out those traditions once him and steve have a home of their own, fr.
because i’ve said this a million times before and i’ll say it a billion times over but it’s all i can think about, honestly. even on the days of celebration that most pagan religions don’t abide by exactly— for example, new year���s eve!
like, can you imagine harringrove’s first nye in their own little apartment? christmas would be an absolute blast, yea but a day or two later and billy would be turning the place upside down trying to clean. i mean, vacuuming, dusting, bagging stuff up and forcing steve to help him with all of it (which he grumbles about but does anyway because he’s boy crazy about him).
he’d open every window and every door, only to be reminded that “hawkins is fucking freezing, babe— this isn’t california” so he’d have to relax a little. but once steve’s out at work? he’s back to his shenanigans and airing out all of the bad energy.
he’d teach steve about manifestation and meditation, too. or rather, he’d try to before hawkin’s hottest resident started fidgeting and sighing and fiddling with a million other things. and then naturally, billy would have to roll his eyes at him and finally give him some attention.
billy would also probably write a few letters to ring in the new year.
to max, of course; apologizing and wishing for her to be happy and live brightly and to be everything that his teenage self couldn’t be. he’d also write to susan and his dad; the latter of whom, he wished to never see again.
he’d wax absolute poetic about steve in his and hope for his happiness; imbue every bit of his love into the point where pencil and paper meet and wish for long, long lives together.
the last one would be penned to his mom, though; uncertain and full of questions. smudged. slightly damp. wrinkled and ripped in places where he erased too much or wrote too hard but the longest of them all.
and then he’d tuck them all into a little shoebox and leave it at the back of their closet. not in an attempt to hide them like he did— he wasn’t at cherry lane anymore — but to keep them safe.
he’d boil orange peels for purification, love and happiness in the day— the scent clinging to every inch of their home. and steve would moan about the smell but he’d be smiling and holding billy sososososo close that it wouldn’t even matter.
(it worked as well as he remembered it doing for his parents; before things took a turn for the worst, at least)
and at midnight, they’d light white candles and wrap around each other in bed while the rest of the world celebrated, too. billy would trace sigils into the flesh of steve’s palm and kiss the crown of his head in the soft, dim light of their room. he would quietly set his intentions for them and because he’s not a monster, the rest of steve’s little dork gang that he cared so much about. he’d ask the universe for endless years of this peace, their safety and the perfect thing that they had created in hawkins.
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stranger-rants · 1 year
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What if Billy's mom found out about his near death at Starcourt and then visited him in the hospital while he was in a medically induced coma and then she gradually finds out the hell he went through and everyone else finds out what kind of boy he was before she left as they visit alongside her and get to know Billy through her and she gets to know Billy through them…
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martyreasemymind · 1 year
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one thing that i feel like doesn't get talked about enough in st discourse is how the comparison between jonathan and billy completely undermines everything joyce has done as a mother.
people act as though jonathan and billy have had the same experiences and therefore should be expected to behave the same, which is already shitty and demonstrates a clear misunderstanding of how the human brain handles trauma, but the real issue here is that this argument is contingent upon a reality that doesn't exist.
jonathan and billy do not live in comparable situations. jonathan was removed from his abuser by his mother. billy was abandoned to his abuser by his mother.
and i see a lot of people insist that joyce isn't available enough for jonathan or that parentifies and yes. she does. but she's there. she's not perfect, but jonathan doesn't doubt her love and support for him despite her paying more attention to will because she gives him no reason to. the family is dysfunctional, but their problematic dynamic is still not even remotely similar to the neglect and violent abuse in the hargrove-mayfield house.
joyce fought to save her kids from an abusive situation and continues to put them first in everything she does. the entire narrative is shaped by her love of her sons.
billy's mother didn't save him. she saved herself and left him for the wolves to feast on.
they are not the same, and insisting they are proves nothing but a misunderstanding of canon and a disregard of joyce that is so severe it borders on misogynistic.
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harringrovepolls · 1 year
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hargrove-mayfields · 1 year
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1967. A couple in Hawkins, Indiana adopt a one year old little boy; they name their bubbly son Steve. 2,000 miles away, a little baby named William turns six months old, and sees the beach for the first time. For a moment, their dysfunctional families appear happy.
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28 years later, those babies have a little one of their own, Christie-Ann Elizabeth Lee Harrington-Hargrove.
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jaylikesrainbowtigers · 7 months
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This is my entry for the @fallofneilhargrove week, day 1: Death - rest in pieces.
Tw - mentions of abuse, alcoholism, attempted sexual assault of a minor, and death/implied murder
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Dear Neil Hargrove,
I have only wrote this type of letter once before. A letter to a dead man.
A dead man who was far better than you ever were.
I remember when my mom introduced you to me. How you smiled and told me how you would take me in as your own. How I would love it with you. I would be the daughter you never had.
I’m glad you never had a daughter. What you did to your son was bad enough.
I also remember how Billy stood behind you. Meek and quiet but at attention. Seen not heard, just how you liked him. I remember walking in on a hot Californian day to your house and thinking ‘Max, why are you here? Why do you have to do this?’ But all my mom said was something along the lines of ‘you’ll come to love it’ and ‘this is your home now’.
She was wrong.
Your house was that of nightmares. And you didn’t even need to touch me. You didn’t need to touch me when you could hit everyone else in that house.
Billy cowered in the corner covered in bruises and scars. My mom shuddered whenever someone closed a cupboard too fast. I learnt to not tell people because no one would believe me. Or maybe they just didn’t care.
You didn’t care.You said you did but you didn’t. Nobody who cared would break bottles on his son. Nobody who cared would leave grip marks on his wife’s wrists. Nobody who cared would put locks on the outside of our bedroom doors.
I’m the one who you left with no physical scars. No. All my scars are from a different kind of monster.
I’m the one who you left standing.
I don’t know what happened to Billy’s mom. I don’t even know her name. He always thought she left whilst he was out. Maybe she did. Maybe I don’t think that. You let a lot of things slip when you were drunk, Neil. Whispers of hate and violence spewing out of your lips. Secrets of how to dig up some ground. Words about hitting a bit too hard.
I bring justice for her.
Billy was maybe your biggest victim. But I hate to compare. We are all your victims. The marks on his skin, so rumoured to come from petty fights. I don’t think I ever really saw Billy fight. Just the once when some creep tried to grab at me when I was twelve. How he hid when you were around in contrast to what he showed to the world. A angry boy who was really just so, so sad? No. Victimised by you. An abused kid who never got to recover. A hero in the end.
I bring justice for him.
My mom. Susan Mayfield. I used to wish she had never left my dad. I see now that she was unhappy. Now I wish that she had never met you. I wish that I never had to see my mom wither away under you. The person she was destroyed by your will. I don’t know how she still loved you. I think you forced it into her. Made her feel like she could never live without you. Like you were saving her from so much worse. You were like a leach, draining the life out of her. How did she love you after it all? She died, you know. The doctor said alcohol poisoning. She became an alcoholic after you left her. An empty shell desperately trying to fill the void you had torn into her soul. I think me getting Vecna’d pushed her over the edge. She was not the best. Not by a long shot. But she was my loving mother. And you took her away.
I bring justice for her.
And me. Left blind and battered. But not by you. You didn’t physically hurt me. You didn’t break me. You couldn’t. I had people protecting me. At least a little bit. A warning here. A move there. A shoulder to cry on. They are the reason I survived you intact. They are why I can stand here today saying a letter that I memorised because I can’t write it down. Supported by the man who loves me the most and my friends who are closer to family. More of family than you would ever have been. And it hurts. You hurt me. Despite it all you hurt me. The abuse and the way you hurt those I loved. You hurt me, Neil Hargrove.
I bring justice for myself.
I stand here surrounded by people who love. For the sake of those who you hurt. I stand here better than you. Stronger than you. Whatever you could do to me, I survived.
I stand above your grave and tell you that you are done. You have been brought to justice. Maybe not in the legal sense. But I bring you to justice. For all of us. You got your justice. A dead man’s justice. The justice is that I lived. I lived through you. I made it. And I carry those who didn’t with me and they get their justice through me.
Look up at us. Look at me on Earth. Look at them above it. Look how we have moved on. Look at what you didn’t manage. You didn’t break us. You didn’t destroy us. We rose above you. Together, even if we didn’t all know it in life. You are done.
Rest in pieces Neil Hargrove
Worst regards,
Max Mayfield
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pendinganchor · 2 years
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another idea dump because why the hell not, yk
this is entirely @ariesbilly’s fault, i saw their post and couldn’t stop thinking about this
(once again i’m not figuring out the canon timeline and what has/hasn’t happened. i’ll do that if i ever actually write this — also i’ve never run away from home so idk how accurate this is but you know what it’s fandom so sue me)
- billy graduates high school with a small sum of money he had managed to keep from his father (doing odd jobs for people and picking up extra shifts his father wouldn’t know about when taking his money for “being expensive to raise”)
- he leaves in the middle of the night with only his clothes and a few things he couldn’t bear to part with. he had stood in max’s doorway for five minutes trying to decide if he wanted to say goodbye. ultimately, he couldn’t do it
- he survives by staying at cheap, sketchy motels and doing odd jobs for people he meets
- he sells his car then gets a new one about a month into his journey so his father can’t use it to track him. he wasn’t sure if he was but he didn’t want to chance it
- his destination? california (he remembers his mother telling him she would never be able to leave that state, he was holding onto hope that was still true)
- it takes him six months to get there
- he finds the cheapest apartment he can and instantly starts looking for stable work
- it’s a few more months before he gets the chance to ask around about his mother
- he doesn’t know how to feel about how easy it is to get information to find her. she had remarried. had kids from her new husband’s previous marriage and a few they had together
- everyone he talked to about her only had good things to say. if asked he said he was the kid of an old family friend
- he had found her. found out where she lived. where she worked. where her husband worked even. but for some reason he can’t get himself to go to any of those places to talk to her. to confront her
- eventually she comes to his place of work, wanting to know who this kid asking about her is. she recognizes him instantly and billy once again doesn’t know how to feel about that
- he takes his lunch break then they go to a diner a few blocks away
(my phone crashed while i was writing this so excuse me if the dialogue isn’t that good — it never is my second time writing it)
- it’s silent between them until after the waitress brings their drinks then takes their food orders
- billy looks up at his mother, a million questions running through his mind. he isn’t even able to pick one to ask before she is speaking, “billy, you have to stop this.”
- it takes him a good ten seconds to form the words, “stop what?”
- “stop asking questions about me. stop trying to come back into my life.”
- he slams a fist onto the table, "i am your son! and you're trying to push me away? again!"
- "push you away?"
- "you left me. abandoned me with that abusive excuse of a father. why? to start a new family? one that isn't broken?" his mother stayed quiet. "did you even try to see me after i begged you to come back?"
- “by the time i did, your father said you didn’t want to see me.”
- “and you believed that?”
- “billy, please. people are staring.”
- “i don’t fucking care! how could you say that to me? how could you leave me there? and now, how can you just sit there and reject me?” his last question was quieter than the rest. his gaze fell down to the table, he couldn’t look at her any longer
- “i’m sorry but i moved on years ago and you should do the same. we’re better off apart.”
- billy didn’t even know how to comprehend her words. he had dreamed about this day since she left. them reuniting and fixing their relationship. it would take time but never once did he think she would kick him out of her life for good. he slowly looked back up to her. he could see it in her eyes that she didn’t want to see him
- “fine.” he gets up, blazing past the waitress coming back with their food. his mother doesn’t even try to stop him, doesn’t even call out his name
- he doesn’t make it back to work that day
- he does make it home, despite the tears streaming down his face. he doesn’t fully remember the drive or even getting up to his apartment. but there he is, standing in the middle of the tiny living room with fucking tears streaming down his face
- why didn’t either of his parents love him? why was it such a crazy thing to want from the people who brought you into the world?
- he feels so numb
- and a few days later he would decide to move on like she told him to. he would accept the closure and work on starting a new chapter of his own
- but for now he was standing in that room, clutching the phone because all he wanted to do was call her but he couldn’t risk him answering the the phone. and would she even want to hear from him?
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@futureinradio
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bowiebond · 2 years
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Like Mother, Like Son | Billy Hargrove | “I just wanted to be beautiful like her.”
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ickypuppi3 · 2 months
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billy seeing his mom again and realising he’s now taller than her and, like- sure. he knew he would be but. something about the way he has to tilt his head down as he talks to her, the way she has to look up at him, just. sends him spiralling
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manwrre · 6 months
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ever since i saw billy’s little montage where he was getting ready, i’ve been DREAMING of a modern!witchbilly having this extensive pre-date, grwm ritual. one that he learnt from his mom, of course, who was a devout wiccan.
i’m talking about a routine that takes freaking HOURS and every part of it is infused with a bit of love magic— something that makes him smell and look divine-levels of irresistible but only to the one. which makes things really confusing at first, when oddly enough, it seems to only work on steve ie. his best friend
also known as the guy that he’s been crushing on since he was a kid. since he was a teeny tiny tot and they went to the same pre-k. and he knows, okay? He Knows. spare him the trope conversation. heather doesn’t fail to remind him that he’s a cliche!
so when steve finally asks him out, it’s no surprise that billy just really goes in. i know for a fact, he’d have a spotify playlist named ‘for s’ or some bullshit and the whole time, it’s just songs that remind him of steve. sensual, slow beats beneath the voices of frank ocean or brent faiyaz, alina baraz and dvsn.
and like, the date would be at 6pm or something but billy would start washing his hair from noon so he gets his curls all perfectly coiled. he’d use his signature scent— this rich lavender that always has steve pressing his nose into his nape. and billy would massage deosil circles into his skull to create peace of mind and set clear intentions. he’d then rub widdershins into the same spots to dispel doubt.
his next step would involve having his favorite candles lit up in the bathroom and drawing himself a bath. he’d soak in a tub of water and milk, rose petals and honey; nectar of the gods. and he’d scrub his skin clean and soft with a gentle rag, having shaved the day before and use jojoba oil to moisturize once he’s done. he’ll even dab a bit of vanilla at his pulse points to maintain before he moves unto his usual skincare.
he’d wear his favorite red shirt to incite feelings of passion and desire (and because steve can barely take his eyes off his chest). he’d have three buttons all done up, slide three, silver rings unto his fingers and layer on his three favorite chains; the metal of them cold against his chest.
his mom had always told him that there was deep magic in makeup, too. she’d sit him down at her vanity and run her hand through his hair almost idly, while getting dolled up.
and she was right, of course. there was something primordial about painting one’s face and becoming another facet of yourself. and it was obvious that women had always been inherently magical beings; mothers, like little goddesses, in their own way. his mother, salome? the most golden of them all.
so he’d think of her as he applied mascara to his lashes and eyeliner to his waterline. he’d hear her laughter while he smudged a hint of red lipstick across his cheeks and lips. he’d even blow a kiss at his own reflection or wink, the very same way that she would and knows for a fact, that the magic has been set; imbued so deeply by a love that has won battles and brought men to their knees
a mother’s.
ALSO, it’s safe to say that the first time that steve witnesses the entire process of billy getting ready, he falls in love with him all over again.
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snakedeactive · 2 years
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i realize and understand that susan has most likely been walked over by countless men similar to neil and is desensitized to abuse in the sense that her thought process is “he only hits me because he loves me”. however, her blatant ignorance of neil beating up his son is horrible. she didn’t even do anything until neil was abusing max in a regular enough pattern to the point where it was as severe as it was with neil hurting billy. susan is not a good character. billy never even liked susan.. at least in the books. and you can definitely see why.
i see a lot of fics (usually post-starcourt survival au) where billy gets a close enough relationship to susan where he addresses her as “mom”. that’s fine to imagine, but it makes no sense imo. as horrible as billys mother was, he did love her, and i don’t see why he would want that title to be replaced by some random woman — even if billy came to terms with how his biological mother abandoned him. susan came into his life and directly replaced her role. susan is uptight and fussy and doesn’t have any spine and just allows his father to beat him right in front of her.. why would he like her at all? it’s fine to imagine, but i don’t see it working out. the best i can see is them having a healthy enough relationship for billy to not borderline hate her.
it’s not the same as when billy addresses max as his sister
just my opinion
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stranger-rants · 1 year
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So, @robthegoodfellow ‘s headcanon that Billy has Nordic ancestry somehow merged with this song by Ina Wroldsen that came up on my playlist this morning and I nearly burst into tears… Mother is such a Billy song…
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bruciemilf · 8 months
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Bruce who accidentally parents his rogues because the mom syndrome is starting to take deep roots.
He threatens Harvey with no dessert if he keeps escaping from Arkham, and blushes bright under the cowl when the man's mouth splits In a teasing, switchblade smirk, " Is that code for something else, doll?"
Harley insists on kicking his seat everytime he arrests her, " I will turn this car around!"
"To where! Also, I'm pretty sure this is just a Tesla with fancy gadgets and an emo makeover."
"You take that back, missy--"
Selina has to sit through 3 hours of " our generation doesn't know what real music is" speeches until she finally cracks and chokes him with her whip
Martinez will never forget the day Batman grabs Riddler by the scruff of his neck and holds him like a misbehaving cat, " What do we say when we flood the city?"
"Sorry."
"That's right. Now go to your cell for reflection time."
Don't misunderstand, he's like that with the league, too. Bruce gives Billy a juice box for not obliterating an enemy to bits and he almost gets lasered.
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puppetmaster13u · 3 months
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Prompt 214
“I did an oopsie.” 
Clockwork paused in his work, gaze turning from his work towards his ghostling (it didn’t matter if he was an adult, he’d always be his ghostling) who was smiling nervously, avoiding his eyes. 
“Oh?” He kept his tone light, even as he worked on untangling a time knot. Honestly at least Danny was immune to any effect of time, even if he couldn’t look into his timelines in exchange. It came with being the other half of Infinity. 
“Yeeah… you know that corner of the multiverse you told me not to go to because you’re working on some time problems? I might have stumbled into one of the worlds in the corner…” 
He stopped his machinations, fully turning towards Danny- Space, his Core whispered and quivered in utter delight at having an Equal in power- with a raised eyebrow, leaning on his staff and silently telling him to explain. 
Danny poked his fingers together, giving a nervous laugh. “So uh, I was just exploring right? Well me and Ellie, you know how she gets when she can’t wander, and um… I er, we might have messed with some things in the creation of it… I didn’t know it was part of that universe, I swear! It was so far at the fringes and halfway into the Zone and I couldn’t just let a universe die before it began and-”
Oh- Oh! His ghostling (and his grand-ghostlings it sounded like) had claimed his first universe! He could put off these time knots, this was a grand milestone for any Ancient, nevermind such a primordial force as one of theirs.
And this is how a DC world came into being with humans evolving with more avian traits. Like wings. And claws. Look, Dan thought it’d be funny if they gave baby humanity wings and Ellie started rambling about how much farther they could travel if they had them and Danny thought it could be cool. Oh well, time to keep an eye on their itty baby world now…
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