#besties i am already drunk l

[thatone-brightstar]

ohhhhh bestie The Bear & The Fox got me GOOD, more please!!!

The Bear & The Fox (Carmy Berzatto x Fem!Reader)

Chapter 2: Like a fox caught in the headlights

Words: 5.7k

Summary: After four weeks at The Beef, you've learnt some valuable lessons. Finding Carmy adorable is the most dangerous one.

a/n: Because I am nothing if not a people pleaser, here's the second chapter for that one person that asked lol Enjoooy xx

P.S. Reader is Latina in this, so there will be some spanish lessons.

After a full four weeks at The Beef, you had realized a couple of valuable lessons. Subs and sandwiches were not the same, and Richie had a very strong opinion about the “uncultured jackasses” that confused them, Tina was nicer than everyone gave her credit for (though it probably helped that both your mother and her had gone to the same high school together) and lastly; Carmy being a decent person would be more counter effective than you anticipated. Especially when you learned that your building was about four blocks away from his and that he drove Richie’s car, because the other had his license suspended for parking on a handicap spot while buying cigs.

It had been completely accidental and not at all your intention, but on your sixth day after closing and when your idiot brother had forgotten to pick you up, you naively thought it would be fine to walk thirty three minutes to get home. The L was not an option as the last time you had taken it, someone stole your access card and it would take at least a month to get a new one. So you and your uncomfortable platform sneakers were stuck for at least another half hour until you could make it home. Or so you thought.

Ten minutes after leaving The Beef, with your jacket zipped all the way up to avoid the harsh late March wind, you had fallen into a comfortable pace. You’d normally wear your headphones to tune out the city sounds, but it was almost 11pm and the fear of getting jumped was enough to keep you alerted of your surroundings. The last thing you needed right now was a shiv to the throat. However, for a Sunday night, the streets were livelier than you had expected. People congregated outside bars and the family owned pizzerias that remained open past midnight to feed the night owls, stoners and drunks. You admired the checkered table cloths they used and added the image to the folder in your mind under ‘shit to make the beef less sad’ as you made your way down the blocks.

As you reached the crosswalk and waited for your turn, a dusty black car slowed its pace then stopped fully beside you. You brazed yourself for the usual catcalls or hollering while you kept your head forward, though the sweaty hand around your strap gave another impression.

“Hey!” You heard from the car once the window was down and you did your best to hold your tongue and not tell the asshole to just fuck right off, but when you heard him call your name, this time you turned surprised.

Carmy sat staring up at you through the cracked window, right hand already pushing the passenger door open and waiting for you to get in. There was a slight frown on his brow as you stood motionless looking at him because he was the last person you expected to see and also holy fuck, did that blue jacket bring out the already magnificent color in his eyes. The sound of a horn blaring from behind you brought you back from the ridiculous turn your thoughts were taking and you cleared your throat climbing into the warm vehicle. He sat staring at your profile as you took your bag off and placed it between your feet on the car floor, then pushed your hair behind both ears to clear your face and smile towards him.

A small ‘Hey’ was thrown in his direction and the warmth in your skin subsided once his gaze was no longer resting on you.

“You weren’t planning on walking, were you?” He asked, concerned.

“Would it be so bad if I say yes?” You ask back a bit ashamed. “It’s not that far.” you try to justify, playing with your fingers.

He asked you where you lived and when you told him the location, the car stopped in its tracks almost comically, although it would have been if he hadn’t stared at you with such a bewildered expression.

“That’s like an hour by foot!” He scolded, putting the car back in motion and merging successfully into the main road.

“No, it's like.. thirty minutes at most!” You fought back. “Besides, it’s not like I do it daily, my fucking brother just forgot to pick me up tonight.”

“Your brother the carrot?” He asked, now smiling softly.

A breathy almost giggle left your mouth as you turned to him. “Yeah, the carrot.”

That’s when he told you that it was fine if you ever needed a ride back because he lived in the same area anyway. ‘You can ask for help, you know’ He said, ‘It’s better than putting yourself in danger’. And you could have just left it at that, your boss being a decent human being. But the warmth of the car, the lowness of his voice and the sweet humming of a folk song playing in the radio, had your head swimming with scenarios that grew too quickly for you to stop them, even though you knew you had to.

He dropped you at the door of your building with a ‘Goodnight.’ and ‘Sleep well’, and as you climbed every step towards the fifth floor, you were reminded of the unspoken rule you had with yourself: No in-work relationships. No dating coworkers. No messing around.

No matter how funny, how nice, how hot or how lost you could get in the pool in their eyes.

That’s how your routine came to be. At least until Richie got his license back, which you secretly hoped was not anytime soon. You’d finish closing up front, take your bag from the office and wait for Carmy out back until he was done scrubbing clean every surface of the stainless steel kitchen. Sometimes you’d wait inside too, disguising it behind wanting to  keep him company but in actuality you were just afraid someone would creep on you from the dark while alone outside. The car ride would consist of meaningless chatter on music, movies and on who won the prize to “Shitty customer of the day”, and on your way up home you’d repeat the same mantra for each step. As many times as it took for your beating heart to slow and for your skin to cool down before reaching your door.

***********

Carmy hated to admit it, even to himself, but it was evident from afar how accustomed he had become to your presence, enough that it affected him on your day off. It was ridiculous really, how off his game he was. Calling out wrong orders, oversalting the broth and even burning his hand with a metal handle he had forgotten over the fire. Tina snickered when she heard a ‘Fuck!’ behind her, followed by the clinging of metal falling to the ground.

“You good, Jeff?” She asked teasingly, looking over her shoulder at the chef running his hand under the faucet. “She’ll be back tomorrow, you know?”

He didn’t answer, he knew better than to do so because everything in that place could be used against him. She was right though, you’d be back tomorrow, you always were. On your first day off after being hired, he had spent the whole day doubting if you would be back the next, thinking about having to put the help wanted sign up again made his already unstable stomach worse. Then you showed up unexpectedly during the small break with a box of pastries you had made as a thank you for the team, each decorated with little edible flowers and colorful glossy coats. He had secretly snapped a picture of his, before biting into the heated crust, his stomach had welcomed the delicious warmth of food for the first time all day and the feeling followed him around during the rest of his shift.

On your third day off, you had brought your mother for dinner on a slow night. Your cheeks had gone up in flames when she let him know just how much you talked about the mouthwatering food served at The Beef and the wonderful people working there, before yelling something in spanish to Tina and leaving you both alone in comfortable silence.

“So you think our food’s delicious?” He asked with a teasing smile and bumping his shoulder against yours.  You stood side by side while watching the two older women catch up in the kitchen like a sort of family reunion. Carmy normally didn’t let strangers into his kitchen, he was protective like that, but strangely for you, he was glad to make an exception.

“Of course I do!” you said with an embarrassed laugh. “You’re a great cook, chef,” You said sincerely and his eyes shone brighter than ever under the fluorescent lights. “You’re just too busy noticing your own faults to see it.”

Your mother had called for you and a part of him was glad she did, because he did not know how he would have resisted leaning down into your soft lips after such a beautiful confession. They didn’t charge for dinner, and no matter who you tried to give the bill to, no one would take it. ‘Orders from the boss’ they’d say grinning, and when you turned to the office, you saw a messy head of golden hair hide behind the door frame.

Now on your fifth day off, he wondered if you’d show up. He allowed himself a bit of delusion as he ran his injured hand under the tap, and imagined you arriving in one of those flared high waisted jeans you liked to wear. He stared at his hand and thought of what it would feel like to caress your cheek with it, your soft skin against his calloused one, doe eyes staring lovingly up at his as he held you closely between his arms… Fuck, okay,no this is weird, he thought. He should not be thinking of you like this and if they had anything similar to an HR department, this would definitely be a violation of some sort. And that’s not even talking about the wild scenarios his mind would make up late at night when he couldn’t get any sleep.

Even though it was just in his mind and no one else could see inside his little fucked up brain, it was still wrong. Especially when he knew you couldn’t feel the same. You were just being nice, he’d remind himself. That’s who you were. And he was being a pervert and a terrible boss by assuming otherwise. He had to get his shit right and his priorities straight, saving the fucking Beef from ruin was the first. He had to leave his stupid lovesick scenarios for when he could finally give his tired body a rest.

He pulled himself out from the rubble of his thoughts, turned the water off and dried his hands on the white rag hanging from his surprisingly clean apron. Then he made his way back to the station and continued on dinner prep with the usual automated performance he had trained so hard to cultivate. This he knew, this was familiar and precise and gave no space for errors or misinterpretations. This was his. Him. No doubt, insecurity or fear of reciprocation. A vegetable was still a vegetable no matter how he felt towards it, and he still had to be your superior no matter how he felt towards you.

************

“I don’t know which one to get!” You hummed through the phone resting between your shoulder and cheek as your hands were busy comparing the very similar fabrics in front of you.

You hear Sydney groan exasperated through the line and you can clearly picture her rolling her eyes at you.

“Just pick whichever! It’s not like anyone will notice the difference anyway.” She answered, and you can hear a light buzz of noise from her side. 

“I’ll notice.” You mumbled back.

In your defense and to your well color-trained eye, they were very different. While the design was the same, checkered style pattern with white, they both had negative spaces of different shades of blue, one slightly darker than the other. You were leaning towards the softer baby blue, but it wasn’t the right shade. It was the third craft store you visited and none seemed to carry the specific type of blue you were in search for. It was a stretch because you were sure that shade’s only purpose was to exist between tired eyelids and golden lashes, but you were too stubborn and you had to at least try to find something similar. 

“I’m sure people will just be happy to not eat directly on the plastic tables. Bring the one you like best.” Syd said after a moment of silence.

“Ugh, I guess.” You finished, finally deciding on the baby blue material.

You walked around the art supply section and picked out the things you were there for originally, a few tubes of oil paints, paint sealant, a detailing brush and a new spatula were what you checked from your list. It wasn’t your intention to buy more than that, but the sight of the shiny fabric at the end of the aisle had you dialing Syd’s number and asking if she thought Carmy would mind if you bought things for the restaurant with your own  money. You were planning to anyway, but the reassurance was nice. ‘Anything that comes from you is okay with him’ she had said and a fuzzy feeling bloomed in your chest.

“We’re still on for drinks later, right?” She asked while you scanned everything through the self checkout.

“Yeah, I’m just gonna drop all this shit off today, go home and change and meet you outside after closing.” You mentally groaned at all the back and forth you’d have to do but it was better than carrying everything home then back to The Beef the next day. 

Also, you had secretly taken a liking to dropping by unexpectedly to “say hi”. You were never the kind of person to go to your place of work on your off day, you never understood those people because, why be there six days of the week then go back on your off when you could literally go anywhere else? But The Beef had felt more like a home than a job ever had for you. It was warm and inviting, and you understood why there were so many regulars who still bought their daily sandwich after so many years. It felt nice to work for a place that was more for the people than the prestige. It was a breath of fresh air in a world surrounded by how ridiculous you could make a dish and still have it be considered food.

“You sure it’s not just cause you wanna see a certain broody someone?” Syd asked teasingly, pulling you from your thoughts.

You stayed silent on the line and that was enough of a confirmation for Sydney to burst into laughter from the other side.

You spat a ‘Shut up.’ and hung up on her mid laugh, cheeks ablaze.

After leaving the store, you walked the fifteen minutes to The Beef with your headphones on and carrying your bag of supplies in blissful peace. You liked days like these, the sun shining softly through the clouds, the air fresh and crisp and your heart light in your chest. The beat of the music coordinated with your steps on the sidewalk as you made your way through the industrial looking streets, letting your mind roam to its recent favorite topic of wild messy hair and freckle dusted skin. Syd’s words were still fresh in your mind, but also was the rule you had been repeating to yourself more than usual. 

Each time he did something nice, you had to convince yourself that that’s just the way he was and to stop reading into something that wasn’t there. Every time you caught him looking was justified by him just spacing out and you being in the general direction of his gaze. The free dinner was him being kind, the rides home were him being decent and the sweet smiles as you crossed the kitchen towards the steward section were… Your doom, honestly. 

Every time you made your way across with empty plates, even if it was only for a brief second, he snuck a peek from his bowed position over the expo, then smiled loosely back down. The first time you had caught his stare, you had carelessly dropped the dishes on Angel and into the muddy water then rushed out the back door because the space around you had become insufferably hot. The image had replayed like a broken record all day, rewinding in the exact moment his ocean eyes bore into yours like waves crashing against a rocky coast. It was criminal. And you would take to your grave how the memory had fueled the fire in your lower belly on the nights when you couldn’t get any sleep. Just remembering brought back the familiar ache between your thighs and you quickened your steps to relieve the sensation. Fucking hell, had it really been that long? It probably had been because you couldn’t remember the last time you got laid, or even been kissed for that matter. No wonder  you were so wound up over a simple look. 

‘That's it’, you thought. ‘I’m just hormonal and it’s causing my stupid brain to confuse horniness with like. Nothing more’  So on the last block to The Beef you made up your mind: you were going to find a stranger to sleep with that night, then this whole Carmy situation would die down and you would see it with clear eyes for what it really was, Carmy just existing and you being a pervert for misinterpreting anything he did.

You took a deep breath as you pushed the glass door to find an empty restaurant and you assumed everyone was taking a well needed break in the back before the dinner rush. You pulled your headphones off and made your way into the familiar hallway that led from the front, past the walk in and into the office. Your plan was to drop the bag off and head right out, you'd see everyone after closing anyway, but just as you left everything by the foot of the crowded desk and turned to leave, a tall shadow standing by the door made you jump back startled.

“Jesus fuck, Carmy!” You yelled at him with a hand against your thumping chest. He stared at you with a contained smile and it was hard not to smile back. “Was that payback?!” You asked, still trying to control your breathing.

“For what?” He asked innocently and entered the small office space. In the reduced area, his broad shoulders looked bigger and the thumping in your ears was no longer from the fright. “What's that?” He asked, pointing to the bag you had discarded on the ground.

“Oh, um…” God, why are you so nervous? “It's just some stuff I got for the front. Tablecloths and napkins and… stuff.” You answered by playing with your hands. You didn’t want him to be upset even though Syd had assured you it would be fine.

He crouched down towards the bag and rummaged around inspecting the insides.

“I was planning on putting it on the tables in the dining area… I hope that’s okay?” You added after what felt like minutes of silence.

“No, that- that’s really nice of you. Thank you, chef.” He said, looking up at you.” You bought this with your own cash?”

“Yeah.. but it’s no problem, truly. I just really fuckin’ hate those Starbucks napkins.” You joked and he sniggered while straightening up.

He scanned you with amused brows and for the first time all day you felt self conscious of your choice in clothing, or lack of choice. 

You had been home all day working on a panting in the makeshift studio you had created in your living room. Your grandfather had helped you set up an easel and some drawers near the windows with the most natural lighting as a fun hobby at sixteen, and almost ten years later, the space had become a sort of sanctuary during stressing times or just when you needed to clear your head. Half the house was now covered with your creations, mostly paintings, but also a few sculptures from that time you tried to experiment with clay and almost blew up your mother’s oven. 

That morning, you had been working on a piece centered around a stormy sea and a boat adrift, headphones on and too far gone into your own head, when you realized you had squeezed out the last drop of teal paint from the little tube. You could have just mixed and matched until the shade was correct, but your back protested when you finally unhooked your left leg from under you and that was a loud enough sign that you needed to move from the uncomfortable wooden stool you had spent hours on. So without changing from the paint covered overalls, cliche sure but cute, you thought, you pulled your sneakers on then kissed your grandpa goodbye and closed the door behind you.

Now as you stood in front of Carmy, a baggy mess of dried colors, trying to rack your brain for an explanation, you noticed just how bad of an idea it had been. You felt like a kindergartener’s discarded art project, and fuck’s sake, the two space buns at the bottom of your neck were certainly not helping. You scratched the back of your head nervously, trying to avoid his teasing gaze, then rested your hand flat on the desk to turn fully towards him.

“I was painting, okay?” You mumbled and for a second you felt like a kid getting caught doing something bad. It also didn’t help that he was older than you and a dark part of your screwed up brain searched for his approval.

“I would hope so.” He answered between a breathy laugh.

It was an involuntary move from his part, down right impertinent. Something he would never do in a million years, especially to a woman while they stood alone in a closed space with less than a foot between their chests. But his hand was already half way up when he realized what his body was doing, his gaze too caught on the light strip of cyan paint above your brow to realize how your breath had gotten stuck in your throat and your pupils had swallowed your irises whole. His cold fingers feathered away the slight bangs that framed your face and as his skin made contact with yours for the very first time since you met, an electrified chill ran from the base of your neck, down through every nerve ending exposed to the air and causing bumps to rise along your skin. It was completely innocent, but the contrast in temperature, combined with the close proximity and the emotions you had tried to sweep under the rug, had your heart in a whirlpool dropping down to the depths of your stomach. The bubble of air in your throat didn’t know whether to go up or down, so you simply stayed still as he gently rubbed his forefinger against your temple. Your mouth felt dry and your eyebrows were screwed together in a mixture of angst and anticipation. You felt like a fox caught in the headlights, treading carefully around the hunter. 

Your eyes drooped mindlessly to his parted lips and the voice in the back of your head whispered how easy it would be to stand on your toes and close the small distance separating you. The hand resting on the desk had curled around the edge and you knew your knuckles had turned white from the force of your grip. It felt like time had stopped altogether, only your echoing heartbeat was the telltale of the seconds passed. You dragged your eyes slowly back up his features until they stuck to the warm icy blue and you could feel his thumb unconsciously rubbing slow circles.

‘It would be so easy.’ you both thought. 

His face was a whisper away, yet it felt like a dessert separated you from the only body of water you wanted to desperately bathe in. Just one swim wouldn’t hurt, right? No one would know it happened. A one and done situation. ‘Just to get you out my system.’ you thought. Or rather whispered.

“What?” Carmy mumbled confused.

Fuck. 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

You pulled back, blinking rapidly to control the panic beginning to bubble in your veins. Fuck! You tried to settle your eyes anywhere except on him while you struggled to decipher what the actual hell you were going to let happen. From your peripheral vision, you could tell he was also disoriented by the way he pulled his hand down his face, stopping to cup his mouth with strength as if not trusting what could come out of it.

“I-I” Your voice sounded foreign, barely above a whisper. “I’m gonna go…um-” You swallowed the bubble of air and wrapped your arms around yourself with your eyes trained on the ground, trying to pass by Carmy without touching, as if the simple contact could sting your already sensitive skin.

He reached his hand towards you and called your name. “No- shit, wait I-”

“Hi, mija!” You heard and both of you instantly turned to where Tina stood by the door to the walk in.

She made her way to you and you tried your best to swallow the batch of tick saliva that comes before the bile and smiled. You pulled her into a hug and kissed her left cheek out of tradition.

“Hey, just came to drop off some things.” You spoke as nonchalantly as one can when you’re on the verge of a breakdown.

“Good, then you can save me the trip and give your mom this.” She said while handing you a small roll of five dollar bills. “It’s for the tanda. Tell her my number’s up next week, eh?” She caressed your cheek softly then turned to Carmy with a doubtful look. “You look like you saw a ghost.”

“I’ll give it to her.” You interrupted and threw the money without care inside your tote bag, turned to Carmy one last time, then marched through the hallway and out the glass door.

You didn’t stop until you knew you were at a distance safe enough to crash. You leaned against the bricks of a nearby flower shop and closed your eyes because, even though you had never fainted before, this felt very much how people describe it could feel. Your whole head was on the edge of explosion along with your ribcage and throat. Your mouth was dry and wet at the same time, and the simple feeling of saliva on your tongue was enough to have you gagging with your forehead against the wall.

“Okay, get your shit together.” You whispered to yourself between heavy sniffles. 

Breathe. Hold. Release. Again. Breathe. Hold. Release. Again. With as much strength as you could manage, you pulled on the long sleeves of your shirt and wiped the trail of salty water beginning to slide past your cheeks. Breathe. The last thing you needed was to have a panic attack in the middle of the street, so even as your vision blurred at the edges and your chest heaved from the lack of air, you did your best to hail a cab. With the first strike of luck in the past ten minutes, a yellow car pulled by your side and you wasted no time in getting in. With little control left, you told him your address and as he drove in the direction of your house, the grimy restaurant street sign grew smaller in the rear view mirror and the single thread that kept your fumbling heart together finally tore. 

You arrived home in a numbed state, your body felt drained after going through so many emotions in a short period of time and you were glad everyone was out because how could you explain the absolute shitshow you had stupidly put yourself through the last hour? You dragged your feet across the wooden floor of the hallway that led into the living room, dropped your bag over the island in the kitchen and headed straight into your bedroom. As soon as the soft fabric of the covers wrapped around you like a protective cocoon, the dam in your chest broke open and a nasty sob left your lips.

God, how could you ruin this so catastrophically?! How were you going to show your face at work after this? You could just imagine Carmy telling everyone how you had come onto him in his office and a new wave of tears rushed to your eyes. The first job you actually liked in years and you ruin it by almost kissing your fucking boss! ‘What the hell is wrong with me?!’ 

‘In our defense, he came onto us first’, the voice in your head tried to rationalize. 

The intimate clip played back in your mind’s eye from a third’s perspective, like a movie scene you’ve watched a thousand times in the past half hour. ‘It can’t be completely my fault, right?’ You ask yourself, analyzing his expression through your memories. It had to mean something, you don’t just look at anyone like that.

“Fuck!” You yelled exasperated and rubbed the palm of your hands against your tired eyes.

You pulled your phone from your pocket and opened up Syd’s contact on the message app, ready to write an excuse as to why you needed to cancel. But as your fingers hovered over the keyboard, a part of your brain wondered if you really wanted to. It would make no use to brood in your own self pity for the rest of the day, and maybe the therapeutic process of getting ready to go out would help clear your head and let you see the situation in a better light. Also, you still had a plan to see through and after the day’s events, your skin had been left itching for contact, no matter where it came from.

So instead of canceling, you texted Sydney that you’d meet them at the bar instead, then spent the next ten minutes looking for a playlist that would inspire you for as long as your ritual would last.

**********

The hellscape of a day was finally over and Carmy had never been more grateful. After the last order had been served, he retreated into the office without a word to anyone and had been sitting staring at the same spot since. Thankfully no one knew what had him in such a distasteful mood and he was sure as hell that it was going to stay that way. They didn’t need to know how he had scared you away with his impulsive actions or that he was to blame if you stopped showing up without explanation. The team had barely started to respect him and knowing that he had borderline harassed everyone’s favorite waitress would have him catching a punch or two.

‘Just to get you out my system.’ 

Your voice repeated like an echo bouncing off the walls in his skull as he tried to make sense of the words, but no matter how many times he flipped them around and rearranged them, he still didn't know what they meant. Was he in your system? Was he really so dense, that he hadn’t noticed you felt something for him, or was he reading too much into an inexistent situation?

His fingers tingled at the memory of your soft warm skin against them, the way your eyebrows had knit together while you stared at him with the most wide eyes he had ever seen and how you had unconsciously parted your lips when your eyes flickered towards his. Fuck, he really was an idiot. You were probably the first woman he had looked at with such adoration and he had to go and screw it up with his lack of control and stupidness.

He layed back in his chair and ran his cold hands through his hair, eyes trained on the dimly lit ceiling above him. An exasperated breath left his chest and he closed his eyes, scanning his brain for a solution to what should be the least of his worries in an office surrounded by expired bills and accounts that made zero sense. ‘What’s one more thing to worry about, right?’ He breathed out a laugh.

He heard a knock from the slightly opened door and turned to see Marcus staring down at him.

“Yo, chef?”

“Yo” He answered back.

“We’re all done with housekeeping’. Some of us are gonna go grab drinks and we wanna know if you wanna hang.” He stayed silent for a second. “You kinda look like you had a shitty day.” He sniggered.

He could always trust Marcus to tell the truth.

Carmy suppressed a laugh and leaned into his desk, taking a pen in his hand and playing with it. “Nah, thanks chef. I’m gonna catch up on some stuff here. You have fun though.”

Marcus nodded slowly, looking around the desk until his eyes landed on the bag of fabric laying on the ground. “Bet.” He said then smiled slowly. “She’s gonna be there. Jus’ so y’know.” And with a pat on the doorframe, he signaled his exit.

He leaned against his chair again and stared at the space Marcus had stood in, contemplating his options. If he went, there was a high possibility you didn’t wanna see him. But this could also be his only chance to get things cleared out and maybe convince you to not quit because of his actions. Granted, a bar was not the place to talk and definitely not his scene, but if that’s what he had to do to convince you to stay then so be it. He took a couple calming breaths to ease his heart at the idea of possibly even telling you how he felt, if you were gonna leave, might as well take the info with you, right? It’s not rejection if you were already gonna split.

“Fuck it.” He threw the pen at the mess of papers and the old chair creaked as he stood forcefully, then pulled his jacket from the back along with his keys from their hook by the entrance and followed the rowdy chanting of his youngest employees walking in a line out the busted back door and into the night.

Chapter 3.

#carmen berzatto x reader #the bear & the fox #carmen berzatto x you #the bear fx #carmy berzatto #carmy the bear #carmy x reader #carmy smut #the bear tv #carmy berzatto headcanon #the bear headcanon #carmy berzatto imagines #carmy berzatto fluff #carmen berzatto smut #carmy berzatto smut #carmen 'carmy' berzatto #carmy x poc reader

[nulltune]

&&. ‎@igniferous is not safe from the besties

i didn't rb a meme and u didn't send me anything but i love and just wanted to fill this out fot them okok <3

texts the other memes at 3 am: hakuno!!!! but very out of context and very likely to be cats. wolf would probably be like "wtf is this". would like to think that infects him a lil bit tho! and the next time he sees a meme he's just -squints eyes- -tentatively sends to the moon menace girl- (wolf vc this is what she calls a "meem" isn't it 🤨)

tries to convince the other to do an idea that definitely sounds questionable: hakuno: "hey wouldn't it be fun if we-" wolf: "no." (she manages to drag him into it anyway)

is the designated driver and who always gets wasted: don't think neither of them would ever be Wasted(TM) but hakuno doesn't enjoy drinking so she'd appoint herself designated driver. i just imagine chilly drunk wolf in the passenger seat telling her some story while hakuno is :| but listening attentively actually. seems fine and dandy except hakuno's not the best driver and with the way she's driving, you'd think they're from gta pulling the biggest bank heist in the world (hakuno: this is a nice podcast -bounces up from speedbump but it unbothered bc she's too short to hit the car roof- -she would've gotten a concussion if she did-) (wolf: SVFKSG ok anyway- it was 428472 years ago when FEKGJSJFKSJFKDKFJ)

always has to host the impromptu sleepover: ok but i'm thinking wolf........ because hakuno would come over and wooooh oh hey it's real hecking late now! she's fine with going back herself (even though she's homeless actually) but hold on wolf's not gonna let her go into the dead of the night like that-- it's dangerous 😤 who’s netflix account gets mooched off of: don't think either would have one but!! i imagine hakuno talking abt it (unable to buy it tho bc she's penniless 😔 /hj) every now and then and wolf ends up getting one some day. he doesn't say it but hakuno sees that there's an account with her name on it already and she's just :0 !!

brings all the snacks and who supplies the movie: hakuno would split the work between em! it's funner that say, she thinks (hakuno: nod nod.) so if she brings the snacks, he supplies the movie, and vice versa. it'd be so funny tho because it'd rlly show the difference between poor simple girl hakuno and rich boy wolf sjghdjg

is usually the first one to say sorry after a fight: 🤔 i don't think they'd ever get into a serious fight but maybe wolf. .. after he says it hakuno's like "...we were fighting?"  Σ(°ロ°)

is the ‘ mom friend ‘: WOLFF ok hear me out!!! i just think he'd be like those seemingly very strict but actually caring mothers okok. also hakuno's good at taking care of others but not herself so, yes. wolf pls look after ur bestie thank uuu

calls the other at 12 am to wish the other a happy birthday without fail: hakuno and she'd be so extra p l s ...... tosses pebbles at his window (if he has one) to get his attention and then starts singing happy birthday with the most flat voice everrrr. bonus: you know that one scene in kungfu panda 2? where po's yelling to shen but he's so far away shen can't hear him? if that happens with them i just know hakuno's chaotic enough to start climbing the damn walls to get to wolf 😭😭 (hakuno vc it's faster-)

is the better wingman to the other: somehow i feel like they both could be a real good wingman for each other :chinhands: it'd make for an interesting scenario tho!! i think it'd be vvv fun to explore >:3

‘ the strong must protect the sweet ‘ , who’s the ‘ strong ‘ and who’s the ‘ sweet ‘: hakuno can kick ass so i think she might just be the strong in that aspect (tho i think wolf is pog at magic!!! iirc!) (...wolf teaching hakuno magic when? 🧐) but she doesn't choose violence okok-- she's the strong that encourages wolf to show more of his sweet side 😌

pulls the other up for karaoke to sing a duet together: wolf with a very big sigh after hakuno's continuous and not so subtle hints for him to sing ("do you want the next song?" "there's no need to be shy" "oh, this song seems like it'd be fun. want to try?") but it comes with the condition that she sings with him !! hakuno chooses drop pop candy and if wolf feels like he might die from embarrassment i would not blame him!

#igniferous #&&. out of #q. #WEEPS EEVVVEEE!!! I SAW UR MESSAGES THRU MY NOTIFS AND I SOBBB- #but basically yes i love them ❤ AND IM GONNA PROPERLY SCREAM AT U AT A LATER TIME BC schedule is packed 2dayy ^_T #IN THE MEANTIME THO HAVE THIS!!!!! (I THROW THIS @ U LIKE A POTATO) (softly......) (...affectionately 😌💖) #i just have a lot of thoughts abt them okok- #AND FEEL ABSOLUTELY FREE TO CORRECT ME ON ANY OF THEM AY ! i always welcome ur thoughts >:3 #long post /

[r0und3bitch]

Twin Flames ❤️‍🔥 : Part 2 - Whiskey on Ice

Series Masterlist

Part 2 Soundtrack

Warnings: a ton of swearing, drug use, mentions of sexual content

Word Count: 13.4k (woof 🙃)

Notes: If you’re slightly confused about some parts of the story line...no worries besties, that’s the intent!! All will be revealed in due time. There’s a shit ton of hints and Easter eggs in here and along the way! Would love to hear your thoughts on what they could be! Love each and every single one of you who has taken the time to read TF thus far. 🖤

“Listen, I’m not asking you, I’m telling you!”

The hairbrush you’d been white knuckle gripping was launched at the wall, hitting hard against the surface with a loud bang.

“How fucking hard is it –”

The voice on the other end cuts you off but you’re not having it.

“It hasn’t even been a full day yet! I put you in charge to handle situations like this, not call me every five fucking seconds something pops up. I’m miles away. What the hell am I supposed to do? You’re the one –”  when you’re cut off again, it’s the final straw.

“Fix it!  Now. Right fucking now. And I want every fucking, penny? Do you hear me?” You knew better than to use his name over the phone. “Or the next time we talk, this conversation will end very differently.”

You angrily click the call end button on your phone as you consider launching that too at the wall.

“At least it was just your hairbrush this time and not your Chanel perfume.”

Noah, who you hadn’t noticed was leaning up against your door frame, steps into the room and picks your now broken hairbrush up from the floor.

“Couldn’t get that smell out of the apartment for weeks. Swear to god Y/N/N, to this day if a girl around me is wearing that, I want to gag. It haunts me.”

You laugh but you’re not exactly proud of the memory he’s recalling. One of your ‘rare form’ moments back in California. A one hundred percent “on one”, raging tantrum, fueled by a lethal amount of booze and adderall.

You wince playfully. “Not one of my shining moments….” Turning on your straightener as Noah flops down on your bed.

“I take it that was Sid on the phone?”

You don’t bother with a response, you know by him asking you that alone that he already knows it was. When he clocks your hardened stare downward and the way you run your fingers through your hair, he almost feels the intense energy radiating off of you.

“Shits gonna be fine, Y/N/N. He’ll keep a tight eye on things, it’ll just –”

“It’s my ass on the line if it doesn’t, Noah”.

You respect your brother's opinion and while he’s just trying to make you feel better, you won’t stand for his encouragement right now. Not when everything feels like it could come crashing down at any moment. Not when it’s his ass that will come out untouched, regardless of the outcome.

Noah licks his lips, biting back any response he wants to make. They’re all irrelevant. While you and him were twins, as you got older it was painfully obvious that very different paths in life had been carved for each of you. The weight of each of your responsibilities undoubtedly harbored trauma for you both. However, the depth and magnitude of that trauma felt between the two of you was violently partial.

You’d always blamed your father coming down hard on you and Noah due to the fact that he had Zack so young. Little information was shared within your family of the exact details; it happening long before either of you were born. Grandma Y/L/N had gotten so drunk and loose- lipped one of the last years she was alive that she had called Zack’s mother a whore at Thanksgiving. You had quite literally spewed red wine out of your mouth at her words. (Which did not bode well for your newly sixteen year old self who was trying to sneak drinks under the table with Noah) No one, and I mean no one, in your family ever mentioned Zack’s mother, not once in your entire life. He’d always been the spitting image of your Father, giving no hints or clues at the other half that made him.

In your mind, he was one hundred percent your father, through and through. Or rather… he tried so very hard to be your father, down to the identical callous attitude and the exact same pompous monogrammed cuff links they always wore. He followed in every single one of your fathers footsteps and failed miserably nearly every step of the way.

Which made Noah, in your fathers eyes, his golden child. His precious boy, at least to the world around him, the up and coming name to continue to lead your family to greatness. The one who could do no wrong, take no heat and never, by any circumstances, jeopardize his future potential. Zack was an ever constant reminder of what it’s failure could look like.  

Which left just you…

It was mind bendingly painful at times to think about the total control the Y/L/N legacy held over you. The total submission you succumbed to when it came to sacrificing for this family. You’d naively pretend you’d do it for the sake of family in general, for the only family you’d ever have…. But deep down you knew it came to control. To the money. To the power. You knew this sickening wheel that had been spinning within the Y/L/N name had been going long before you were put on this earth and would continue to do so well long after you were buried deep within it. Without it, you had nothing. Without it, you were nothing.

“Listen, I wasn’t trying –” you look up into the giant mirror in front of you, reflecting Noah’s nervous glance back at you.

“It’s fine, Noah. I’m not trying to…” you trailed off, turning around in your makeup chair to face him. “I’m just stressed. If this shipment doesn’t go through I –”

Noah’s conviction leaves no room for doubt, at least for the moment. “It will.”

“I just need to relax…Sid is going to give me a fucking heart attack if he calls me one more time.”

“Well…I’ve got just the thing to fix that! Good thing the guys are picking us up at six. Your first ‘Kook Party’!” He says wagging his eyebrows.

He picks up your phone to change the song playing through your speaker, easily punching in your passcode he’s had memorized for years as he plays one of your favorite songs, obviously trying to put you in good graces.

“Okay!” You're swiveling back around again now, confused as ever. “Can you please explain this fucking ‘kook’ thing to me?!”

When he finishes, you’re sure you didn’t hear him right. Kooks vs Pogues?! Did he refer to Rafe as a “Kook King”?

“What are we five years old? Sounds pretentious.”

“Oh it is!”

He’s laying back on your bed now, body resting against the plush wall of pillows that you all but demanded in order to sleep comfortably.

“The way the guys talk about it, it’s not as much of a thing as they’ve gotten older… but you know how those old roots always have a way of coming out.” Don't you ever…

Your focus goes back to the mirror in front of you as you continue getting ready, adding the final touches on your makeup.

“So… Whitney texted me earlier.” Of fucking course she did.

“Ugh, Noah, not you too!”

“Told me she called you earlier and you –”

“Yeah while I was dropping Rafe and Kelce off, I just didn’t want to talk to her while I was –”

“Okay listen…I’m not getting into the middle of it but you know you can’t ghost people forever right?” Watch me.

But you’re already striding over to the connected walk-in closet that holds your prized possessions, not giving in even an inch to this conversation. Instead throwing him a mischievous grin over your shoulder as you happily open the giant double oak doors.

“So, what do people wear to these stupid Kook things anyway?”

      Your phone vibrates, picking it up and reading the messages as you do a final once over in the mirror. Less than twenty four hours on this island and you’d already been added to the group chat.

“Kook Kings + Y/N”

Topper: on our way Y/L/N’s

Kelce: 😛

Noah: let’s gooooooooo

Boy Wonder: lol @ the chat name update 👌🏻

Kelce: it’s under construction

Kelce: taking suggestions…

You named the conversation “All My Bitches Love Me 😈”

Kelce: damn, she’s good….

Boy Wonder loved “damn, she’s good..”

——————————————————————-

Only moments later you heard the loud thrum of heavy bass that could only mean the boys had pulled up. As you meet Noah by the front door you take in the song playing and can’t help but laugh. They fucking would…

“Owww Owww” Noah shouts to them the second you’re both outside. “Whaddup boyss!”

You instantly wonder if the several shots you both pounded within the last hour were a good idea but toss the thought away. Noah’s a big boy and is more than capable of taking care of himself.

The second you step out into view, the boys nearly lose their minds, too many sets of eyes for your buzzed brain to compute.

One single look at you and your outfit (which he’s quite literally almost drooling over) confirms Rafes' thoughts. Neither him, nor any other person on this fucking island was ready for you.

“Holy fuck bro, tell me you’re seeing this…” Topper whispers as all of their mouths hang open.

“Y/N Y/L/N… girl, are you trying to give me a premature heart attack?” Kelce whistles as he fully gets out of the Jeep, opening the door for you and your brother. “Damn Noah, you cleaned up nice too. Her doing, I take it?”

“Obviously!” He goes to dap Rafe in the front seat before Kelce. “She’s always keepin’ my ass in check.”

“Aint that the fuckin truth” playfully punching him in the shoulder. Kelce grabs both of your hands and holds them up in the air. “Ooooooooooh girl, common. Do a little spin for me!”

This kid is wild! Why not…

Twirling on Kelce's finger, you throw your head back for dramatic effect as the music blares on.

He takes your hand, helping you into the Jeep after Noah. “Girl, you’re a dream!”

Rafe coughs loudly.

“Okay, enough!” Topper yells over the music from the driver's seat.

You’re giggling like crazy as your hand moves from Kelce’s to Noah’s as he helps guide you fully in, reading you perfectly as always.

“Yeah, common, DREAM GIRL…” breaking into his own fit of giggles.

It’s your favorite time of day. An hour or two before sunset. When that golden hour glow can hit your skin, forever putting you in a good mood. You take it all in as you feel the summer air hit you as Topper starts driving.

“Seems like you guys already got the party started, huh?” Kelce laughs as you and Noah sing out loud to the song playing.

“Well obviously, I had to prepare myself for the most magical night of my life. Popping my Kook Party cherry.”

Rafe laughs wildly at your words, catching his reflection in the rear view mirror. “Oh shitttttt….”

You beam further at his reaction, which Noah of course catches. That’s not the only thing…

“Who’s phone is playing the music?” You ask as Topper holds his phone up in the air. “Can I play a song?” You beam further at him.

Noah’s heart swells, seeing you fall back into your element, you asking for the music privilege a tell tale sign.

Topper’s intrigued as he enters his passcode, opening the Spotify app and handing it to you, the whole car eager to hear your choice.

The moment the beat drops  every single boy in the car howls, almost going crazy.

“Yes!!”

“Holy shit…”

“Yeah, girl you’re gonna fit in just fine….”

“Full fucking Kook!”

You and the boys belt out the entire song word for word, only getting more out of control the closer you get to the party. All of them are surprised you know all the lyrics but Noah knows better by now, you taught him these songs.

      There’s dozens of cars scattered throughout the premise as you roll up and even more people scattered about.

You hop out of the car as the typical pre-party nerves and excitement hit you… well that and the shots.

The house is huge, like every other one you’ve seen on the island so far. The boys lead you in, saying hi to a few people, all of which eye you widely as you’re introduced as the long awaited “Noah’s Sister”.

You all make your way inside toward the kitchen where a large group of what you’re assuming are their friends awaits.

“Eli! Logan!”

A couple of heads turn.

“Oh shit, Noah! What’s up, guys”. You follow them in, opening you up to the entire group before you. One of the guys takes you in immediately.

“Oh shit this must be her!” Throwing his hands up in shock over his backwards cap. “Y/N!!”  

If little else, you already like this dude for the sole fact he’s referring to by name and not “Noah’s Sister”.

Behind him you hear “Wow, they really do look alike” for what has to be the millionth time in your life.

“I’m Eli!” He’s already bringing you in for a hug. “Dude, hell yeah it’s great to finally meet you. Heard enough about you from this one!” He says pointing to Noah.

“Ah, all good things I hope…” you say with an air of trouble to your voice.

“Nope!” Noah laughs.

“Whatever he says…it’s all true” you wink at him. (“Oh shit, I like her already!”) “Nice to meet you, Eli!”

Noah introduces you to a few others: Logan - the host of the evening and a whole slew of names you’re going to likely have to ask for more than once again.

“Can I grab you a drink, Y/N? White claw?” Logan asks opening up the huge refrigerator.

“Whiskey, actually.”  

His head cocks. “Damn, whiskey girl, respect. Was not expecting that.”

“I got chu, Y/N/N.” Noah comments and he slides over to the island that’s littered with dozens of bottles of booze, grabbing your favorite amongst them, earning another shocked look from Topper.

“Damn, Y/N, you’re full of surprises!” He jokes, easily twisting the beer cap off and taking a sip of his drink.  

You all make your way into the expansive living room, chatting it up with the new people you’d just met. A few others walk in and you recognize the girl who came out of Noah’s room this morning.

The moment she sees Noah, she’s making a wicked dash over, halting when she finally takes you in, standing amongst the group.

“Oh, this is your sister right?” She addresses Noah as if you’re not there.

“Uh yeah,Y/N.” He points to the girl.

“Emma.”

She’s ignoring you though, already moving to sit in Rafes' lap as you barely look her way. While he completely freezes, he doesn’t make a move to remove her. She turns inward towards him and laughs at something you can’t hear. You ignore the annoyance that you swear you catch radiating off of Rafe at the one quick glance you allow yourself to throw at them.

You hear your bother casually carry on the conversation and you instantly curse at his insistent need to make those around him feel good. In most other situations you’d say it’s one of your favorite traits about him but right now you’d really wish he’d stop because all you want to do right now is slap this bitch in the face, not only because she’s totally ignoring your existence and being a total utter cunt but also because she’s sitting in Rafes lap, unable to ignore or understand why it’s bugging you the way it is. You hadn’t realized how much of a trance you’d been until you felt a strong arm wrap around you suddenly. You gasp loudly, which turns the heads of those around you. Turning quickly, you see Kelce, roaring with laughter, attempting to hold two drinks in his other hand.

“You scared the hell out of me!” But you’re laughing now too. “Tsk tsk….. is this your thing? Scaring girls?”

“Whoa now!” He says, handing you one of the drinks he made, presumably something with dark liquor by the color, joking with you further. “YOU stepped on ME, this morning! Don’t get this thing twisted! Thought I was never going to be able to walk again…”

“Oh shut up!” As you punch his arm playfully. You frown, taking a sip of your drink. “That is kinda true though, huh? Think I owe you the next round, how’s that?”

“Deal, Y/L/N” as a firm handshake closes the deal. “You look like you know how to make a drink strong enough to knock me on my ass!”

Kelce's demeanor made it easy to joke around with him. He was one of those people that looked you in the face when they listened to you, genuinely taking it in. The quips always came quick and those around him were usually consumed with laughter. He was a lot like Noah that way and couldn’t help thinking that regardless of what factors pushed them together, that the two of them could have organically become friends in the real world.

“Yo, Y/N” Eli calls at you. “You play pong? Sarah needs a partner!”

“What the fuck! Y/N, YOU LOOK SO HOT!” Sarah’s voice squeals, figure coming into view behind Eli. “When did you get here?!”

The words have barely escaped her mouth before she’s wrapping her arms around you wildly, hugging you in that familiar way that only a girlfriend can.

“Not long ago, girl!” You grin up at her with a mischievous grin that she immediately matches as you see Topper come up behind Eli. “You ready to kick these guys asses?!”

The pong table is set up nearby, continually earning more stares the more people you pass over to it.

“Don’t worry Y/N, we’ll go easy on ya since it’s your first time!” Eli jokes as he rolls the pong balls to you.

He regrets his statement with each throw you take, making the first five shots easily. Topper is in equal disbelievement when Sarah takes the game winning shot, a single “swoosh” through the air, calling the game alarmingly early.

Typical, you and Sarah are nothing but giggles as you see the rest of your group file over.

“Bro, that was embarrassing…” Eli coughs.

“Yeah, let’s not talk about that!” Topper tries to move on from the subject, ego clearly hurt.

“Talk about what?” Rafe asks, his blue shirt lighting up his eyes an even paler shade.

“About how Y/N and I just whooped their asses at pong!”

Rafe, who knows that Eli, (with Kelce as his partner) has won the annual Beer Pong tournament two years running, looks up at you almost proud.

“Damn Y/N…”

Topper scoffs, unable to choke down the loss, sneering sarcastically “Yeah, she’s a real keeper…”

You see Noah in the corner, successfully brush off whoever this Emma girl is and make his way over to you. He notices your stare and braces for the torment coming his way.

“SPEAKING of keepers…”

He sighs, nudging you. “Don’t start!”

“No, I mean, personally she seems fantastic –” but Noah’s ready, alcohol in full effect.

“Oh yeah! Like your exes are anything to rave about…” You gawk at him, not expecting the conversation to take this turn. Rafes ears perk up.

“Ohhhhh say what!” Of course Kelce is the first to reply.

“Oh my god, DON’T start!” you throw a finger cautiously in Noah’s face.

It’s at that moment Sarah rejoins the conversation, drink in hand, clinking it with yours. “Oooooo what’re we talking about?!”

“Y/N/N’s exes.”

“Oh, Grant?! He was hot as fuck!”

You nearly spew out your drink, your surprise evident. Noah’s roaring with laughter and you know he’s not going to let up anytime soon.

“Oh, shit I forgot about him! No I was thinking –”

“Jake?!” Sarah nearly shouts.

“Yes!” Noah high fives her right as you go to clamp a hand over Sarah’s mouth.

Topper cat whistles, “Dayyyum Y/N”, grin wide at the conversation.

“He doesn’t count!”

Your cheeks are beginning to turn pink with embarrassment, not having been ready for these names, all but long forgotten or removed out of your life completely, from your past to be thrown at you so willingly.

Sarah ducks right before you can grab her face as she and Noah answer in unison.

“YES, HE DOES!”  

You groan loudly. Confused on how this unlikely duo of Noah and Sarah is proving to be a rightful pain in your ass right now. Surprisingly it’s Rafe who responds.

“If we’re talking about exes, I mean Sarah’s exes are never far…. Ain’t that right Top!” You whip your head quickly to see Topper shrug easily.

“Wait, you two?!” You point between them. “When?”

“A while back” Topper replies easily. “It was only for a few months. Didn’t quite work out….” Sarah sticks her tongue out at him playfully but you don’t sense any bad blood between them. “Though she’s still a rightful pain in my ass most days, I’ll tell you that.”

“You’re not the only one.” Rafe laughs as he leans back against the counter, taking a drink from the beer bottle in his hand.

“Oh shut up! Both of you…. That’s my job.” She says matter of factly.

At that moment Emma walks back into the room and leans up against the counter close to Noah, the vibe of the room totally thrown off at her presence.

“Hey Noah, I was just thinking –”

Sarah rolls her eyes heavily, gulping the last few sips of her drink before slamming the glass down.

“Let’s go dance!” She yells to you over Emma, intending to be rude. You don’t bother holding back your fit of laughter when you see the irritated look on Emma’s face. Clearly, there’s bad blood there.

Sarah’s already lacing her fingers between yours, ready to pull you out onto the large patio deck that had been jam packed with people dancing. “Lead the way!”

Emma goes to open her mouth again when Topper interrupts.

“Yeah -  I’m gonna…” Throwing a nasty look Emma’s way before following you and Sarah out of the kitchen.

You grab Kelce by the t-shirt, who had been talking to Eli nearby, “C’mon guys, you told me you would show me those dance moves…”

Your voice grows faint as you make your way out, leaving Rafe, Emma and Noah standing in the kitchen, the two boys sharing a quick smirk. Emma takes a sip of her White Claw as she slightly leans into Rafe.  

The three of them watch from their view as you all make your way outside and begin to dance. A group of guys enter that Rafe recognizes from the mainland, chatting to Noah a bit, as voices fill the space again. Rafe shakes his head at Topper's horrible dance moves, poor guy could never hold a beat. The group begins to blend together, bopping heavily as the song is changed.

Topper (somewhat jokingly, he’s well aware he’s got two left fucking feet) grabs Y/N to dance as Emma finally decides to speak.

“Ya know... She’s got some dance moves”. Emma doesn’t reference who she’s talking about but from the inflection in her tone, Rafe knows she's talking about you. “Topper could use it….”

Rafe feels her place her hand atop his shoulder and lean further into him, her voice even louder than before though, even given the new proximity. Her laugh comes out more sarcastic than anything.

“She looks like the kind of girl who could show Topper a thing or two.” She gazes up and winks at him. “You know what I’m saying. At least from what I’ve heard…”

Rafe’s laugh is totally unintentional but he doesn’t regret it nonetheless. She can tell he’s laughing, but thinks he's laughing with her, and not at her.

“What…” she looks up at him pouty faced, lips puffed out, turning more into him as he drains what’s left in his beer bottle.

He was going to reply with something to the effect of “that’s rich coming from you” but Noah turns to both of them, flashing Rafe that famous grin.

“I’m going to go join em’ outside.” Nodding his head up at Rafe before turning to Emma, his eyes holding something Rafe can’t place.

“Oh and Emma?” His voice is slow, an obvious warning. When she turns her head in Noah’s direction, his eyes are cold as ice, burning right through her.

“Watch your fucking mouth…”

He throws one last menacing look her way before almost inhumanly shifting it back to that easy grin, a quick “See ya out there bud!” to Rafe before exiting.

Not many people can put Emma Conrad in her place. Rafe had seen many people go up to bat and fail miserably. The fact that such a reaction was brought on by Noah, so naturally loved and adored by everyone, is a true testament to his unwavering loyalty to his only sister.  

Emma is stunned in her spot as she turns back to Rafe, mouth gaping, ready to speak to him.

“What –”

Rafe clocks you on the dance floor, looking like you’re having the time of your life and he instantly feels the pull to join the group.

“Later, Emma” not bothering to look at her as he makes his way too out of the kitchen, snaking his way through the thick groups of people until he’s out on the deck, feeling the sweet summer night air hit his face.

He took in the sea of people, rowdy as ever, party now in full blast. Even though Rafe had been in this exact situation what seemed like hundreds of times, your presence tinted everything in a new light. He witnessed his group of friends, mingled together tightly, belting out the lyrics long since committed to memory, drinks and hands held high in the air as everyone swayed to the beat.

Kelce slaps his hand over Rafes shoulder when he’s close enough and pulls him into the middle of their group, whispering something to him that he can’t make out over the music. Not that he’s paying much attention anyway, unable to look away from the way your dress is moving threateningly higher up your thigh as you dance. That is, until he glances up and sees it’s Sarah you’re grinding seductively against, his eyes darting away at an alarming rate. Yet it was hard for him to keep them away from you for too long as he glanced around his group of friends.

There you were, planted smack dab in the middle of them, seemingly glowing, as though you’d always been there. Having gotten to know Noah over the last few months, it shouldn’t have surprised him how quickly everyone, himself included, was pulled into your orbit. It was easy to see the similarities between you and Noah in that way. It was easier than ever in this exact moment as Noah danced next to you, completely in sync, doing some kind of moves that the two of you had obviously learned at an earlier time to the song playing.

You weren’t sure if it was the shots you’d taken with Eli and Sarah on the way out to the dance floor, or the way you caught Rafes blazing look as he made his way over, but the feeling settling into every fiber of your body felt almost foreign. It took far too long to place, as if you’d forgotten it completely.

You felt happy. Carefree, unkept, wild. As you bounced back and forth to the beat, Sarah’s arm circling your neck, you didn’t realize how badly you’d needed it, nor nearly how much you missed this feeling. You barely knew these people tangled together with you, but as you shifted your head back against Sarah’s shoulder, eyes closed blissfully, letting her guide your body to the song, you realized it didn’t matter... If there was one thing you knew, nothing stayed the same, ever. Instead you choose to close your eyes and try and hold onto this moment for as long as you could, a moment where you felt nothing but free.

      The next several days faded to weeks as time passed on more or less the same. All of the stress and worry you’d sickened yourself with in Miami prior to coming seemed silly now that you were here. The ebb and flow of your family’s new lifestyle here in the Outer Banks quickly turned into a well oiled machine, like it always had with every move. This pretentious town was no different.

Your father and Zack had barely been around, usually only for a few days of the week before flying out of town, only to return a few days later with another slew of big names (old partners, family friends, relatives - you name it) to do business on the east coast.

The Kildare lifestyle was a “Work hard to your advantage, play hard” mindset. You each played your part for the business, and you each played it well. Rafe and Noah were always alongside your fathers for client meetings, dinners, and everything in between. The two of them together were starting to make a name for themselves amongst the high rolling names the two families kept being able to pull in.

You and Sarah join in occasionally, unintentionally outshining everyone or nearly causing a scene whenever in attendance. Sarah, who’d been worked hard by Ward lately, had been warned of her behavior, that much you’d known. She was always running around the office wild these days, lack of sleep or lack of empathy toward her father, completely and utterly not giving a shit what he thought.

While you played your part at the fancy dinners and talked your way through the meetings you needed to be at, your time needed to be spent focused elsewhere. You had your own ship to run, one your Father was more than aware of….

You’d slotted in almost too well amongst the boys and Sarah’s friend groups, seemingly allowing your life to somewhat intertwine with these people in a way you didn’t expect. You didn’t mind it exactly. It was easy for the days to blend together… the next few weeks continuing in the best way all summers do: chaotically, blissfully, each day and night chasing a high better than the last.

Days spent partying on huge boats or laying around at the beach until sunset, not a care in the world as the music raged on. Nights spent doing quite literally whatever the hell you wanted.

Weekend mornings spent nursing the most wicked of hangovers…. You’d been seated at the bar of the Island Club for a total of six minutes waiting for your food and a second longer felt truly impossible, clear pout forming on your face. Rafe had all but demanded your food be served within five minutes, one lone stare enough for the bartender to scurry back to the kitchen with your order at a near run.

An irritated little gruff escapes you as you check your phone clock for what has to be the tenth time in the last minute alone.

“You gonna make it, Y/N?” Rafe  playfully bumps your shoulder and you throw him the most pathetic, playful puppy dog eyes. Omg she can’t look at me like that….

“Noooo” you’re fully whining now, full on hangry, full on ready to kick this server's ass if food isn’t placed in front of you, prono. “This is why I needed McDonald’s last night….”

“Y/N! None of us could even stand last night, let alone drive.”

“You could’ve –”

“Don’t even start with me, Y/N/N! Kelce and I spent like thirty minutes, cross eyed and inebriated, trying to work the door dash app while you and Sarah just danced to Arianna Grande!”

Rafes laugh, subconsciously becoming your new favorite sound, makes you momentarily forget about your stomach grumbling incessantly.

“Rafeeeeeeeee, I need a McChicken RIGHT NOW. Kelceeeeeeee, please get me chicken nuggets, please.”

His imitation of you is uncanny, the way he’s jokingly crossing his arms over his chest, identical to your stance less than ten hours ago, leaned up against Topper's patio railing to support your drunken state.

“I remember no such thing….”

He shakes his head at you as he orders you another Coke, your favorite hangover cure, from the bartender. You’d already sucked down the one he’d ordered you the minute you sat down, especially since you’d threatened to “stab someone” if not met with one immediately.

Right as minute seven approaches, a waiter sets your plates down in front of you and the sight of your giant breakfast sandwich is enough to have you literally singing to the heavens.

Rafes is already bringing his sandwich to his mouth as you clasp your hands together in praying formation, head tilting to the sky as you fake tears.

“I want to thank you, Jesus, almighty creator of the bagel…”

Next to you, Rafe belts out a laugh so intense that a piece of egg comes flying out of his mouth.

The most unlady-like, shrill laugh comes out of you as you try to catch your breath at the sight of Rafe choke-laughing. You full on snort, very loudly, sending you both into complete hysterics.

Rafe is clutching at his chest as tears almost spill from your eyes, each time you look at each other only resulting in a new fit of convulsions. Your abs are actually sore as you reach out and clutch onto Rafes arm to steady yourself as you both momentarily lean into each other, trying desperately to regain composure as all the other restaurant patrons around you shoot the two of you dirty looks.

You’re both so hysterical that you miss Kelce and Topper, who’d just arrived at the club, stumbling upon your close figures, having heard your laughs the second they approached the outside bar area. Both of them gawk at the sight but share a secret look between the two of them.

“Well well well…. What do we have here!” Topper can’t contain his smirk as he looks between you and Rafe. You both settle down as you return to eating.

“Breakfast! Duh!”

“At almost noon?” Kelce pipes up, taking the empty seat next to you. “Uh…..Long night for you two huh”? He chuckles, throwing a wink at you before nodding knowingly to Topper and throwing a meaningful glance between you and Rafe. You know what he’s insinuating…

He should know better by now than to play this game with you. You invented this game. As hangry as you are, it’ll have to wait just a tiny bit longer.

You look up at him playfully, bulging your eyes out as wide as they’ll go, resting your head in your hand as your elbow leans seductively against the bar, your voice nearly coming out as a soft, tantalizing moan.

“Sooooo long...” you play with the straw in your drink with your opposite hand, falsely alluding to more than how late you were up last night…

Kelces jaw falls open; clearly stunned and taken aback. It’s when you hear Topper scoff loudly that you burst out laughing again. You look to Rafe, worried he’s going to throw some kind of territorial bullshit your way but instead he looks beyond amused.

You beam at his reaction and turn to Kelce as a low “What the hell Y/N/N”  leaves his lips, blush apparent.

“You guys are fun to fuck with!” grabbing a piece of fruit off your plate and plopping it in your mouth.  

Some evenings spent playing your rightful part in the Family Business…. “Not another damn sip, Y/N!” Zack nearly slaps the drink out of your hand, groaning at your swaying figure.

While you can’t say you blame him (you did spend the entire dinner trying to cover up your hysterical laughing - failing miserably - as Noah incessantly made fun of Zack under his breath while he spoke to the crowd during his speech) you’re too relaxed to give a shit. Drunk, but not completely blasted, easily able to defend yourself but you’re loving the reaction it’s getting from him, completely losing his shit at the event he tried so desperately hard to plan and perfect, down to every last detail.

“She’s fucking cut off!” He whisper screams at you and your group of misfits as several of the wealthy island natives approach him, quickly careful to not show his temper.

You’re turned away from your brother completely as Rafe whips you around, pulling your back flush against his chest, blocking you from Zack’s view, only making his blood boil more. His arm wraps entirely too smoothly around your body for the amount of alcohol you’ve both consumed as he brings his Mai Tai to your lips, his own closer to your ear than you thought.

“Sip Time!” You take an enormous gulp of the drink as a laugh shudders through your body, picking up on the Michael Cera “This is the End” reference from the movie you’d watched days prior.

He only loosens his grip on you when he registers the song playing, instead grabbing your wrist and pulling you to the dance floor.

“C’mon, party girl… I feel like you love this song.” You do.

Special occasions where the other island natives got to know you better…. It was a sticky day on the island, the sun beating down hard as you and the boys made your way through 18 holes. Well, they made their way through 18 holes. You wore a cute outfit and drove them around in the golf cart, chugging back White Claws like your life depended on it, occasionally shotgunning one with the boys when one of them made a particularly nice swing.

Not that you weren’t good at golf, quite the opposite actually. If you got Noah drunk enough, he might on occasion be willing to admit that you might even be better than him some days. Golf in this sweltering heat though? Fuck that, Drinking sounded much better…

You hadn’t seen the cart girl come through in awhile and had offered to go back and grab a few more rounds of drinks considering you weren’t even playing.

You walked over to the bar of the club at a quick pace, getting the bartender's attention with ease.

“Hey (a name somewhat similar to yours), right?”

How long Emma and her friends had been seated there, you hadn't a clue, not even registering them as you walked up. One look at her told you all you needed to know, she’s not a nice girl. Good thing you aren’t either.

“Y/N.”

She waits for you to follow that up with something, clearly waiting for you to be fake and nice to her, falling in line with everyone else. When you just stare at her she shifts in her seat at the bar uncomfortably.

“How are you adjusting to the Outer Banks? I know it can be a lot…ya know, for an outsider.”

You want to laugh at her confidence, it’s applaudable to a fault, surrounded by no less than three other girls who are obviously ready to pounce at any moment.

Girls like her exist everywhere, in every town you’ve ever been to. Girls who want to open their mouths and use big words to try and stand tall but shrink back into their pathetic little lives when given the chance to prove themselves. She's no exception, she’s not special, painfully the same as every other single girl before her. She’s no different.

Your shrug, “Not much to adjust to if I’m being honest.”

She eyes you up and down before something off In the distance grabs her attention.

“So, I see you’ve been spending a lot of time with the Island Legacies…can’t say I blame you.”

She laughs but it’s about as fake as her smile that she paints on her face with her next words.

“Especially with Rafe…”

Here we go….

“Who wouldn’t, right? Like hello, look at him. I wouldn't get too attached though. Fair warning, he’s kind of a fuck boy…. tends to go for easier girls, ya know what I mean?”

“Is that why he fucked you?”

One of her friends' hands slaps over her mouth to cover the gasp she’d made and when Emma’s jaw falls open just as wide you know you have this bitch exactly where you want her. She can play her little games all she wants, but she’s about to feel the full force of what you’re capable of.

It’s your turn to plaster that fake smile on heavy, an air of terror behind it that slightly frightens the group of girls before you.

“I mean you guys have obviously fucked, right?”

She looks like you’ve slapped her across her face. Maybe one day….

“That’s clearly why you’re asking me about him…” you laugh at her when she doesn’t respond. “Was that what you expected to sit here and throw me off with? The fact that you’ve fucked Rafe? God, you’re gonna have to try harder than that. I imagine if I had a an issue with every girl Rafes fucked on this island, well….. I mean…”

You clock Boy Wonder at that exact moment, striding over to you across the grass, pushing those now sweaty blonde locks out of his eyes, face breaking out into a smile when he sees you.

“Like hello…” You repeat her exact words from moments ago, about the same boy walking directly over to you right at this second, mocking her all the same “Look at him…”

Rafe’s close enough to see you fully now, slightly puzzled as he watches you puff your bottom lip out flirtlingly before biting it between your teeth teasingly, big doe eyes gazing up at him, almost too heavy.

“Hi, Rafey.”

Rafe chokes a laugh, ready to question you at your choice of Emma’s favorite pet name, seeing her flinch only further fueling your fire. You throw a wink his way that the girls can’t see, telling him to play along.

“Wanted to come check on ya…you need help carrying those?” His arm reaches around your back before pointing to the tray of drinks the bartender just sat down.

“Yes please!” You’ve clearly made your point but are unable to resist throwing it back in Emma’s face more.

You twist in his arm, but look straight at her, your hand coming up to quickly stroke through his golden locks, as if dangling Emma’s favorite toy that she can’t have right in front of her.

“You’re such a sweet boy, Rafe….”

Days spent lounging the halls of Tanneyhill in the company of the other two Cameron siblings… “So what’s going on with you and John B?” You’re laying on Sarah’s bed next to Wheezie who’s texting on her phone, only half paying attention.

Sarah huffs, “I don’t know… we’ve been so on and off for awhile now…. I think we are both just confused.”  

“I can see that…”

“…Do you think love should be this hard?” Her eyes are pleading with you.

“I….” You try to phrase the next words carefully. “Don’t have enough history of knowing you guys dating to give you an honest opinion of what I think…”. She’s frowning still. I hate seeing her upset.

“But, I can definitely see that you’re trying. That much is for sure.” You smile up at her and she slowly returns it.

“Thanks Y/N…” She’s perched up on the bay window that overlooks the backyard. She looks thoughtful, almost sad, so you’re not completely shocked by her next question. That doesn’t mean that it still doesn’t hollow you out as she asks it.

“Do you ever miss California?”

You take a second and notice Wheezie has put her phone down, gaze coming to you. A few more seconds pass and you’re unsure how to answer so you just decide for the shortest version of the truth.

“Yeah. I do.”

“You don’t talk about it as much as last time I saw you. Granted that was so long ago. It just seemed like from what I could tell you really loved it there and –”

“It’s just hard because I didn’t really want to leave...”  You have absolutely no idea why you’re being so vulnerable right now. “Uh…kind of had to, you get it…”

“You went to school there, yeah?” Sarah’s gaze is heavy on you now as Wheezie eyes her sister suspiciously.

“Yeah, UCLA.” You can’t help the smile that forms. That time in your life seems so distant, yet still crystal clear in your memory.

“Going to school out there must be so nice…what’s it like?” She asks eagerly.

You think of how best to answer. “Being out there is… it’s hard to explain. It’s a lot different than anything out this way. It’s something entirely different.”

“It sounds amazing…”

You want to say “it is…” but you’re having a hard time forming words as more memories than you’d like to hash out come flooding back in waves.

You start to wonder if Wheezie shares in her brother's assumed trait of being able to read your mind when she quickly changes the subject.

“Y/N, do you still play the guitar?” She points to the acoustic perched up in the corner of Sarah’s bedroom, unbeknownst to you until now.

Both Cameron siblings see the way you light up.

“Let me guess, John B’s?” Sarah nods her head.

“Mhm!” She's all lit up now, seemingly moved on from the previous conversation. “He won't mind if you play it!”

      Rafe parks his truck in the driveway, slowly making his way into the house, ready to get out of the suit he’s been forced to be in for the last ten hours. The sun is setting over the water now, casting shiny, crystallized rainbows through the glass windows of Tanneyhall as he makes his way to his bedroom, ready to breathe after the day he’s had.

He stops short when he hears the voices coming from Sarah’s bedroom, making him stop dead in his tracks as he catches onto it. He hears the guitar before he hears you, your voice filling the air in a way like never before, followed by Sarah’s and (as if his heart can’t possibly squeeze tighter anymore) Wheezies. He’s on autopilot before his brain can catch up, his footsteps taking him to the doorway of Sarah's bedroom.

You sing. He feels like he’s somewhat known that fact, heard it mentioned in passing between you and Noah but never hard enough for Rafe to stop and think twice about it. He didn’t think you meant like this.

Rafe had noticed that you’d been big into music since he’d first met you, now already at the point of beginning to clock your favorite artists to a T. It’s one more piece of you that clicks with him. The constant music playing, the shuffling between playlists, always arguing about which song is better between you and Noah. It’s one more piece of you he feels like he knows.

He can’t think of many times he’s felt this feeling he has right now. So little times though that he’s drawing a blank on what exactly to name it, unable to place it. If he thinks back long enough he can remember feeling it in the earliest memories. Christmas mornings when it was just him and Sarah or their family vacation to Hawaii right before Wheezie was born. What is it?

He feels like a fucking creep standing in the hallway, all but eavesdropping into his sisters room but this feeling he has listening to the three of you in melody is enchanting him. Are you guys singing Taylor Swift? He doesn’t know exactly how he registers that he knows that, thinking it must be the side effects of having two little sisters. This is definitely Taylor Swift…

The song ends all too soon and Rafe hears the three of you burst into fits of giggles, barely catching the words being spoken. When Rafe swears he hears the word “Bahamas” his breath quickens and he decides that’s his queue to start walking away from the door.

Slowly, he backs away, even though the distant hum of your voice is teasing him forward, careful not to make a sound as he heads to his room, still on auto pilot.

His mind is holding on to those last few moments as hard as he can, already becoming a memory, blushing crimson as he commits the sound of you singing permanently within his brain, wanting to forever remember the feeling that hearing your voice awakened within him…. unsure if he will ever feel that way again.

      The following day you find yourself on Sarah’s bed again, this time laying next to the pile of outfits you’d brought over for her.

“Oh my god, you’re really going to let me wear these?”

You scoff “Are you fucking kidding me? This would look so good on you!” you say holding up one of the dresses you brought against her body.

“Ugh, I want your closet…”

You look up at Sarah earnestly, just as excited as she is. It's been way too long since you’ve had someone to gush over stuff like this with.

“When I say to you… anytime!” Sarah squeals. “I think you need to come over this weekend and we can play dress up.” You wink at her.

“God, you’re a dream. Can you be my sister, please?”

You smile up at her “Dream come true...”

Sarah had called you in a panic that morning, fretting over what she was going to wear to the party she was hosting at Tanneyhill later tonight. She was playing host to mainly her own friends, yet stressed over her already somewhat rocky situation with John B, knowing all his “Pogue” friends would be attending as well.

“You don’t think he’ll think this is too much?” She asks, taking the dress from you.

You’re almost insulted. “If this kid thinks this is too much then you can kick his ass to the curb and he can come fight me!”

Too much? That’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever heard.

You look around her room for the shoes you brought to go with it.

“Shoot hold on, I must have left the heels downstairs.” You’re already making your way out of her bedroom when you collide roughly with a hard surface “I’ll be right - ophhhhhh!”

You feel strong hands catch you, looking up to realize that the hard surface is actually Rafe. You break out into a huge smile, unable to control yourself at just the sight of him, let alone how close he is to you. His eyes widened at the action.

“What’re you doing here,Y/N?”

Sarah appears at the doorway, firm look planted on her face as she takes in the two of you.

“Rafe you can’t have her! She’s mine right now.”

You blush crimson at the thought of Rafe having you in any capacity, your thoughts jumbling.

“Besides, don’t you need to leave soon to meet Dad for your ‘oh so important weeekend’ on the mainland?” She questions.

Rafe releases you. “Yeah, I’m headed out now, just need to grab my suit.”

“Y/N” Sarah’s already trying to pull you away from her brother. “Are you sure I shouldn’t wear –”

“Listen, don't trash the house tonight just because Dad and Rose won’t be home!”

Sarah shoots him a menacing look. “Yeah because you’re one to talk!” With a severe eye roll she pulls you away from her brother, with a snarky, final “Bye Rafe!”

You throw your head quickly over your shoulder, your sweet smile bidding him farewell.

“Goodluck Tonight…”

He’d need it. Little did you know, good luck was not something that ever came easy for Rafe Cameron.

—————————————————————

“It’s the one thing I asked you to do, Rafe!”

Rafes chest deflated as his father screamed at him further. “And I can’t even count on you for that!”

“Dad, I’m sorry I –”

“Just leave, Rafe. Go home. You’re no use to me right now.” Ward shakes his head in Rafe’s direction, totally dismissive, unable to believe he’s his son sometimes. Someone enters the board room to alert Ward that their clients had arrived. He took no further look at his son as he strode out of the room, leaving Rafe to stand there feeling utterly pathetic.

This whole weekend on the mainland had been stressed to no end, Rafe and Noah having to endure a painful amount of lectures from both fathers about the importance of winning the clients they were bringing in, this weekend being pivotal to the next few steps of their plan. They needed the funds from this deal to spearhead the next phase of their development plan, starting in Maine and working down to Virginia.

Rafe had all but nearly blown everything when he’d screwed up some accounting details on the back end when dealing with the investors attorney earlier this week, the error just being noticed now, moments before they’d arrived. His father likely striding out of the room to do everything in his power to fix it, to always fix Rafes problems, as he’s constantly reminded.

He doesn’t bother going to find Noah, instead choosing to walk to his truck at a slow pace, in no rush to go anywhere, feeling utterly useless. He starts the truck, wishing he could be going anywhere but back to the one place he has to go, hating the chokehold his only home had always had on him.

He had a couple hour drive back to Kildare, one spent mostly in silence, letting his thoughts consume him completely.

      He pulls up to Tanneyhill a little after midnight, surprised to see not many lights on. When he enters, there's only a small group of Sarah’s friends left, lounging around the living room, a couple of them sleeping. The house isn’t totally trashed but there’s beer cans and glitter everywhere.

Sarah’s fuckin problem, not mine.

He takes a glance around, wondering by some small miracle if you’d still be here but he sees no sign of you or his sister. Resigning to the fact that you’re probably asleep or went home, he climbs the long spiral staircase leading to his bedroom.

When he walks in, he quickly turns on the string LED lights to a soft blue shade, before his attention immediately is drawn to the figure on his bed.

He makes a move to yell at whoever’s sleeping in here, taking a step or two forward before the soft blue light illuminates your face.

He’s completely frozen for a moment, unable to gather his thoughts. You’re in his bed…

He takes a step or two forward and his chest feels tight when he sees how you’re cradling one of his pillows. It’s pressed against the entire side of your body, your arms wrapped tightly around it. His mind immediately stops the thoughts from fully forming…. (that he wants to be the fucking pillow, obviously)

He’s surprised you haven’t woken up, he wasn’t exactly being quiet when he came in, assuming you’re likely a heavy sleeper or even more realistic, probably just drunk.

He's still frozen lamely, towering over you like a weirdo watching you sleep.

What do I do? Do I wake her up? Do I just let her sleep in here and leave? There’s probably people passed out in the spare bedrooms though… Is she okay? Why is she in here?

The questions flood his mind, not stopping as he wills his body to move forward. He places his hand gently on your shoulder, your skin warming his finger tips.

“Y/N” his voice is as soft as possible, “Y/N/N”.

His brows furrow together when you don’t immediately wake, nervous to shake you any harder. Finally, after what feels like too long to Rafe, you begin to stir.

He sees little movements from you but it takes a full minute before your eyes open. Worried you’ve had too much to drink, he takes it easy on you. Your eyes finally flutter open, but he can’t fully make them out in the darkness. Eventually, they zero in on him and the room is well lit enough for him to see your face breakout into the biggest grin he’s ever seen on you, a deep heavy sigh leaving your lips, almost relieved.

“Rafe….”

Is she even awake?

Your face looks like it’s searching for his in the darkness. He’s unsure what to say, caught off guard by your voice saying his name.

“Hi…” your voice comes out the softest he’s ever heard it, further throwing him off.

Say something, Rafe. Say something.

“Hey….” He chuckles a little, realizing you’re making no intent of moving. “You good, Y/N/N?”

You stretch slightly and pinch your eyes closed. The room is so hazy and Rafes voice feels like it’s miles away. You want it closer.

“Mmmm….needed to lay down.” You simply state.

Rafe doesn’t think he’s ever seen you look more tired, eyes squeezed shut as you rub your head with your hand that’s not still wrapped around the pillow. Still trying to figure out what to do, Rafe moves closer to the bed.

“M’sorry, I shouldn’t have come in your room…” you stop and try and focus. “And slept in your bed….” Your head pounds again and the whole room begins to blur, what little of it you can make out. “While you’re not home….holy fuck thats creepy.”

You’re rambling hard. Using every ounce of energy, you try to sit up but it literally feels impossible. Are you even moving at all right now or is your body totally limp?

You are moving slightly but it’s messy, confirming Rafes assumption that you’re likely pretty drunk.

He laughs lightly, “You’re good, Y/N” his hand making contact with your shoulder again guiding you back against the mattress. “Lay back down.” One look at you confirms how badly you need it.

“Ya laughing at me, Cameron?” He’s surprised you have the wherewithal to joke around given your state.  

“Not like that….”

He looks down at you again and feels his body sag, the events of the day, the situation with his father and the hours long drive back all weighing heavy. Taking a deep breath he walks over to the other side of the mattress. He throws his watch on the nightstand as he lets gravity lower him down to the mattress, keeping a respectable distance between you two.

However, as he looks over at you, he doesn’t miss the way your dress is slightly hitching up your leg and it’s what he needs most right now the last thing he needs right now. As he forces his eyes away, he feels your body shift so you’re facing towards him on the mattress, both of your hands cradled close under your chin, reminding Rafe of a young child momentarily.

“I’sorry though… are y’mad that I came in here”? You ask him tentatively, hoping your words are making sense but altogether deciding opting for honesty is the only option here.

He looks over with a serious look. “Why would I be mad that you’re in here?”

“I don’t know….” You’re growing more confused, especially considering….

“Well…s’YOUR room…” You continue after a minute of silence. “And…”

“Too many whiskey & diet cokes, huh?” He's smiling at you now but you don’t catch it. Fuck, you just said honesty is the only option….

“Uh…” Fuck, breathe. Get the words out, you can do this. “Actually….there’s ‘nother reason I came in here…”

“Uh…I uh… — I took something and it didn’t make me feel great….”

You look away from the blurry figure that is him next to you in the bed. It’s probably good your vision is out of focus so that you don’t catch the intense stare he’s shooting at you, his head that was already turned toward you, all but boring into your brain at this point.

Took something? She said she took something. Oh fuck…no….

You’re high.

On what, he doesn’t have a clue, but it’s certainly not the heavy blunts you’d been notorious to roll, that much is plainly clear.

Rafe’s having a hard time processing what’s happening. His own memories come painfully  flooding back in horrible waves. Images of him in the bathroom just a few feet over with Topper and Kelce last summer blur his vision as he tries to remain planted in the present, refusing to let his demons pull him back.

Internally, he can’t help but laugh at the twisted irony of how his poor bedroom seems to just continue to be the crime scene of blatant drug abuse, for once however, it’s not him high within these godforsaken walls.

“Knew right away I needed to sleep it off….Hard t’tell if it worked”

Your words are clipped. “Came up here….I told Sarah I was…”

You finally move your gaze back to his, your eyes so big and bright but they don’t hold the same spark they usually do. Rafes heart sinks at the sight, the look on your face basically melting him, almost pleading.

“Didn’t want her to find out…” he nods slowly as you finish your words.

That’s when he finally sees it, the high written so clearly on your face. Your dilated, blown out pupils staring back, surely penetrating straight into his brain at this point with the stare you’re leveling at him. How the fuck can someone look like that - let alone look at him like that - while they’re high?

“Are you….uh, are you okay now?” He shifts just the smallest bit closer to you, trying to relax but internally he’s panicking.

Are you okay? She’d tell me if she wasn’t, right? Fuck, I don’t know. I’ve never seen her look like this. Shit, please be okay Y/N, I’m right here.

“I think so. Like I said s’hard to tell.”

His chest squeezes again but a stark comparison to the way it did when he walked into the room. The slurring, the drugs, the sleep. All reactions to whatever’s eating away at you enough that you needed just that little relief. The thought that you of all people shared in that wicked kind of torment in the same way he did literally pained him. His eyebrows furrowed together in a wince. Not her.

“How did it go? Stuff with your dad…” Rafe had a hard time tearing his attention away from anything that wasn’t you right now. “weren’t supposed to be back ‘til tomorrow…..” your voice brings him out of his thoughts. Wait, that's what she’s asking about right now? Him?!

“So, that’s why you’re sleeping in my bed?” He jokes. “Thought I wouldn’t be around, huh?”

You giggle and he instantly feels a small part of his body relax, realizing you’re not too high. Not too high to destroy the natural banter that seems to come so naturally between the two of you. Not high enough to not be you still, the you he’s gotten so frustratingly used to being around in just a few short weeks.

You’re still looking to him for his answer and when he doesn’t respond and instead gives you a look, you know.

“…. Well, I’m back” he says quietly, shrugging it off, casting his eyes downward.

“Thank God…”. His eyes raise to yours and he can see that pretty little smile of yours, natural as ever. It turns to a smirk with your next comment “kinda missed you...” What? WHAT?

Rafe instantly wonders if you would’ve gotten high off whatever it is you’re on if he was here... Your next words catching him by surprise.

“Rafe, do you want me to go?” Of course not.

“Y/N/N, I don’t think you’d make it very far and as much as I’d love to carry you, you –”

A sickening feeling settles into the pit of your stomach suddenly, the drugs really taking their course, as your eyes squeeze shut, a soft moan leaving your lips, the look on your face setting Rafes mind into lightspeed.

“Shit– come here, Y/N.”

It’s as if both of you are on auto pilot because neither of you can really register the next few seconds as you try to reach out towards Rafe at the same time as his strong arms pull you quickly into him, body’s melting together.

The moment you feel his arms circle around you, everything else fades to black, allowing yourself to get completely lost in him.

Rafe has been close to you plenty of times over the past few weeks. Dancing with you at parties, swimming in the ocean or one of the multiple infinity pools scattered around the island, even crammed into the backseat of multiple vehicles, on top of each other’s laps more than a few times, trying to get home after drunken nights with only one designated driver.

This however, feels entirely different. He can feel your soft breath tickle his neck as you bury your face deep into his shoulder. You’re clinging onto him hard, which just makes him hold you tighter, rubbing small circles into your back with his fingers.  

He feels your breathing steady a little bit but your body hasn’t loosened an inch. Slowly, he brings his hand up to the side of your face, brushing the few strands back before running his fingers through the length of your currently curly locks, repeating the motion back and forth. Each time he brings his hand back through your hair he feels your whole body slowly release but not at all removing yourself from him.

It takes a moment for him to realize the state he’s currently in, the action not only calming you but allowing him to release all the built up tension he had felt building throughout the day, through the past several days. Fuck, weeks….

Your even breaths pull him back to you in the present as he registers that you’ve fallen asleep. He doesn’t stop repeating the motion, enjoying the way it feels to have your hair running through his fingers, the way your body feels so warm and secure next to his.

He’d known the feeling you were going through all too well. He’d known the sickening, overpowering feeling you’d succumbed to within its hold. Not you. Not her. Please.

He’d hold you for hours, he’d hold you for days, for however long it took for time to deal the damage.

He takes one final look down at you, your now peaceful face resting gently on his chest, face nuzzled deep into his neck.

His words barely come out as a sound, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head.  “I’ve got you, Y/N/N”

      When Rafe wakes up again, he doesn’t open his eyes right away, but he can hear your phone vibrating against the nightstand.

He registers that your back is now flush against him, likely shifting at some point in the night. His arms are looped tightly around body still though, noticing you had one his hands cradled close to your face, tucked sweetly under your chin. He can feel your cheek pressed against it, can feel your soft breaths on his skin as you sleep, sending a fuzzy feeling all over his body. Holy shit. This feels so good.

The phone doesn’t stop vibrating, only getting louder as it threatens to fall off the nightstand.

Rafe can’t believe he’s about to interrupt this serene moment before he can even register it.

Your heads are on the same pillow, his own already close enough to his intended target. He shifts only an inch or two so he’s whispering right into your ear.

“Y/N/N…” The soft, almost too perfect for this world moan, that leaves your mouth makes him want to never let you go.

“Hmm…” making no move whatsoever, not even fully awake.

“Your phone…

“Mmm….” That one was more of a whine but it doesn’t make Rafe smile any less into your hair.

It stops vibrating for a few moments and you shift ever so slightly back into Rafe, sleep threatening to take over at how good it all feels, his arms around you, the sheets surrounding you, Rafe’s messy hair tickling your neck.

When it goes off violently again you know you can’t ignore it. Slowly, painstakingly slow, you reach for the phone to see Noah’s name on the caller ID.

Oh, thank god.

You click open the phone and whisper “Hello”, your voice coming out entirely more horse than you’d imagined it would.

“Fucking hell Y/N, I’ve been trying to call you for over an hour! Where are you?”

“Uh, I’m at Rafes.”

“Wait, I thought Sarah threw a party at Tanneyhill last night.”

“She did, I’m at Tanneyhill, what the fuck–” you’re too tired to be doing this back and forth.

Noah’s voice is entirely too perky and implicating considering what time it is as you pull your phone away from your ear briefly to check the clock.

“You said you were at Rafe’s…” you can almost see the annoying grin plastered on his face through the phone.

Considering the events that led to you being tangled in Rafes bed you’re really not in the mood to play around with Noah’s jokes right now, the fact that it’s barely daylight only further adding to it.

“Do you need something, Noah?” He catches the tone in your voice.

“Yeah I’m driving back from the mainland now. Dads been flipping his shit trying to get ahold of you since last night. He’s not happy...”

Shit….

“Some shit with the books not matching when he was looking at the numbers, he has people flying in and he can’t–”

“Alright I get it, too early. Shut up. I’ll call him.”

“No, that’s not it, Y/N/N. The Hargrove’s plane touches down in an hour. We’ve got the whole day planned…” he pauses. “We’re supposed to be on the tarmac in thirty minutes…. I’m on my way to Tanneyhill now.”

“Fuck.” Behind you, Rafe tenses, unable to tell what’s happening on the other end.

“I know. I’ll be there in less than five. Pulling up in a few. Be ready.”

You click your phone shut and stay perched up on your elbow, not wanting at all to do what you’re about to have to do. Referring to both getting out of this bed and carrying on with your duties for the rest of the day, preferring to rather bite your own hand off if it meant staying like this with Rafe and not facing reality.

Rafe…who’d found you passed out in his bed unexpectedly...while high on drugs. So high in fact that you needed to pass out in his arms to feel okay, only now waking up with that horrible realization as it settles into every part of you.  What the fuck were you thinking. Maybe it is a good idea to get the hell out of this bed actually….

Rafe watches you process each part of that as he takes into account the small shifts in your face.

“Hey… you okay?”

No. Nope. Nope. Nope. Not in the slightest.

“Noah’s on his way, shit with my dad, we have clients - well, family friends - coming in and….shit. Not good”.

You pinch the bridge of your nose to quickly try and gather your thoughts about what you need to do within the next few moments.

“I’m sorry I have to go…” You step out of the bed and Rafe sees you fully for the first time in the soft glow of the morning light.

Your dress is a little wrinkled but still looks as cute as ever on you. Your hair is messy and your lips are still puffy from sleep. Seeing you like this, so loose and raw makes him want to pull you back.

You search around for your other shoe and Rafe suddenly feels nervous as he finally takes everything in.

The situation unfolding in front of him, completely foreign, that soft purple glow from the morning light having never touched another person's skin within these four walls. Rafe never permitting a situation where another person would be in his bed at this time of day, any guest long since removed by this time. You were the first girl to ever wake up in his bed.

Once your shoes are on, you grab your phone, realizing all of your other stuff is in Sarah’s room, which is currently still occupied by her and John B.

The luxury of being you. There was nothing in there you couldn’t replace. You’d grab it all later after you somehow survived whatever this day had in store for you.

Rafe realizes you’re looking at him now, unsure what to say. “I’m gonna get go –”

Finally, Rafe remembers how to move his body and quickly jumps out of bed.

“I’ll walk you out…”

You nod, grateful that he’s walking you out but still trying to choke down that bad feeling in the pit of your stomach.

Rafe stays behind you as you move quietly through the halls, his finger ever so slightly tracing behind your arm as you walk, the feeling, making you only want to run back, instead of out the door.

As you reach the giant front door, his mind begins to fill as thoughts and questions come swirling through his brain at an alarming rate. Surely he’s never felt like this. So impatient, so eager, the incessant need to know you.

“Y/N” he whispers for you when you reach the foyer. He has to know.

“…why my room?”

He knows you’ll know what he means. There’s guest bedrooms, couches, plenty of open places to sleep within this giant house.

Your pupils only travel down to his chest briefly, head shaking ever so slightly, “I honestly wasn’t even thinking about it as it was happening. I just remember stumbling upstairs...”

Your eyes are like lasers as they make their way back up Rafe’s face, burning into him every step of the way before meeting his in a blaze.

“I don’t know….when I woke up and saw you… I guess it just made sense.” His breath hitches at your next words. “I think I just needed you…”

Why did I say that? WHY DID I SAY THAT? WHY DID I JUST SAY THAT?!  

“I just….” Trying to recover, he clocks the way you look so nervous, apprehensive. “I just felt like you would get it. You would understand it. That’s all.” He does. All too well.

“I get it, Y/N/N.” hearing him call you by your nickname again leaves you breathless. He pulls you in for a hug as you hear your phone buzzing, knowing it can only be Noah.

“I’d better go.” You get this odd feeling in the pit of your stomach that you can’t place, standing there awkwardly for a moment, choking the feeling down. “Thank you for being so sweet about it… Bye, Rafe”.

Your words, seemingly innocent, evoke such a head spin of deja vu for him that he’s momentarily left stunned, unable to form words. Did she really just say that? She has no clue.

When you take one last expectant glance back at Rafe before walking out the door, he quickly pulls himself together, feeling like his cheeks have to be burning red, but the words he says next are not at all what he intends.

“Hey wait….Y/N.” He’s whispering now, nervous beyond belief but feels that nagging sense to say something. Why??

“Uh, next time you feel like that….” Referring to last night. “Call me.”

Your fingers graze over the door handle and on a fucking whim, Rafe grabs for your hand, momentarily holding you back, needing you to understand how much he means this.

When you don’t respond he nods weakly. “Okay?”

You nod back at him, unsure what to say. Taking anything he can get, he accepts that much, opening the door for you, giving you a fleeting side hug before you’re out the door.

“Bye, Y/N/N”

You make your way out to Noah’s car, pulling open the door handle and stepping in as quick as you can, only to reveal that stupid grin that was promised from your phone call. He’s already pulling out of the driveway the minute you’re in the car.

You don’t bother asking what, you because you know what.

He takes a glance over at you, only clutching onto your phone and nothing else.

“Where’s all your stuff?” He’s toying with you and you know it. You click a few times on the screen in the center counsel, turning on a song to fit the mood.

“In Sarah’s room…”

“Which means you slept…” his tongue pokes at his cheek as his face twists and turns, unable to stop himself from trying to tease you.

“Noah.” you’re not even entertaining it. “Can you just stop at home really quick, I know we are late but I’ll be quick –”

“Relax Y/N/N, I grabbed you clothes.” He gestures to the backseat where you see an outfit (damn, he did pretty good) hanging on the hook. “Grabbed this too…”

He reaches back behind your seat and sets something in your lap that you recognize as your spare make up bag. You bless the fact that your brother, although he's driving you nuts at this moment, knows every little detail about you.

“Already went to the house… figured I’d give you and Boy Wonder an extra few minutes.”

You give him the biggest death glare you can muster for the early hour but don’t say anything back. You can’t, he’s right.

“Listen…” he knows the next words are going to launch you, but it’s about time he’s said it out loud. “Whenever you’re ready to admit that you’ve got some deep rooted feelings for Rafe mother fucking Cameron, and are ready unpack all that shit, you just let me know…”

Noah’s one hundred percent correct, his words do launch you. They thwart you so hard that you’re sure you’re about to choke.

“I do not!” Ignoring the fact that you were moments ago curled up in this man's bed, your arms wrapped tightly around him.

You push any kind of life changing, mind bending thought out of your brain, not ready to cross that bridge yet, knowing damn well you’re not sure if you ever will be. With anyone. Let alone Rafe “mother fucking” Cameron as your brother so eloquently put it. Kook “fucking” King is more like it.

Noah scoffs. “Yeah, okay. Whatever you say.”

His own mind floods with memories, all to do with Rafe Cameron. The way girls had always clung to him since the moment he’d met him. The way all of his habits seemed to shift the moment you came into play. The way Rafes eyes always shoot to yours when girls will approach him nowadays, thinking Noah can't catch on to the encounter every single time.

He thinks back to all the noticed habits…How Rafe started listening to more Drake songs. How he’d started asking Noah questions about you, little to begin with, sprinkled in here and there, starting before you even set foot on Kildare Island.

Noah had registered the way Rafe’s demeanor would shift, ever so slightly, whenever you were mentioned, comparing little to the change in him altogether when he was finally around you in person. Kelce, Topper and himself had already had a few drunken conversations on the subject as a matter of fact…

As the song plays, you lay your head out on the passenger door, feeling that deep misplaced nostalgic feeling that only that one certain emotion can give you. The lush, bright green scenery passes you in a blur as the sun peeks over the horizon, threatening the purple sky into a violent shade of pink.

“I barely even know him…..”

All of the changes Noah’s witnessed in Rafe paled in comparison to what he now saw in you, his only sister. If there’s one thing Noah knows most in the world, even better than his own self, it’s you. His response is so quiet you hardly hear him yet the words resonate just as hard.

“I think you know him a lot better than you think you do...”

.....

Taglist:  @lurkymurker @mackenzielovee @mor-bs @totallynotkaibiased @aaleksmorozova @onlygetaway​ @itsalexwin

#Twin Flames ❤️‍🔥 #rafe cameron #rafe cameron fanfiction #outerbanks #rafe x reader #rafe x y/n #rafe #drew starkey #outer banks #obx

[lunaastoir]

how i think a meeting between childe and kaeya would go down

just some wannabe pirate and war criminal brain rot!!! this idea has been stuck in my mind for WEEKS and i just needed to get it down so i could breathe thanks aifjskfj 

also sorry if someone has already done this!! i did not check the tags or anything to see if a similar idea was posted but here’s just my take on it!! weewoo had to throw out a disclaimer just in case 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

so the only way i could ever truly imagine them meeting is if you’re hanging out w one of them and suddenly woAH HEY CHILDE FANCY SEEING YOU HERE???

like i don’t see them meeting on their own unless kaeya a) travels to snezhnaya/visits liyue for some reason or b) childe comes to mondstadt on fatui business

but anYWAYS- i digress,,, let’s say a chance meeting happened between the two (pls mihoyo make this happen i am BEGGING) 

so you’re just walking around mondstadt after completing your commissions w paimon yapping abt trying out the new dish at good hunter (i wonder if it’s called emergency food)

you run into kaeya as you’re making your way over to said restaurant  

pirate boy was patrolling since he’s a knight and even tho i clown him out of love he does take his job very seriously 

so you bump into him and the smooth mf says smthg like 

“fancy meeting you here, it’s almost like we’re destined ;)” 

pls smack him thanks <3 

you roll your eyes and you can practically fEEL paimon’s glare 

so y’all get caught up in conversation and just end up walking around town (w promises to paimon that you will treat her to some good food later) 

kaeya’s retelling something that happened earlier in the day w klee i had to include her i love her sm pls 

and then you just hear a 

“huh if it isn’t mondstadt’s honorary knight” 

dEAR GOD you would know that voice anywhere- JDSJFS 

so many questions??? are running through your head??? as you turn around???? 

first and foremost being ayO childe what are you doing here???

his hand is held up in a wave and he has his trademark soft smirk playing on his lips pls im gonna wring his pretty little neck lovingly

he makes his way over to you and you guys just kinda stare at each other for a good second 

paimon breaks the silence w her scream of “chILDE???” 

that snaps you out of it and you give him a questioning look while waving back (very delayed might i add) 

“it’s good to see you too paimon” he laughs

he briefly explains that he’s here on fatui business and relax he’s not here to cause any trouble yet

this is basically when kaeya cuts in 

knowing the both of them they were definitely sizing each other up when pleasantries were exchanged

also kaeya (being the cavalry captain) is DEFINITELY aware that childe is in mondstadt especially since he’s a harbinger - it’s not like he can be quiet abt it 💀

assuming that they haven’t had a chance to meet tho since i mini headcanon that jean would probably have been the one to escort him and his underlings to the goth grand hotel, there would just be some intense eye contact

both men are v prone to putting up a friendly demeanor while having the ability to practically slice you apart w sweet threats and razor sharp looks 

kaeya would take the initiative and say smthg like

“i dont believe we’ve met - i’m kaeya of the knights of favonius” 

childe would shake his hand and out of propriety introduce himself too 

now here’s where things could get a touch complicated 

as fatui harbinger to cavalry captain, obviously there’s some animosity (hidden ofc under sweet words of deceit and sugar coated phrases of diplomacy) 

however, as just kaeya and childe, i think these two would hit it off pretty quickly LMFAO 

they remind me a lot of oikawa and atsumu from haikyuu if you’ve ever watched it 🕴 same exact vibes 

there would be the formalities in the beginning before childe’s playful nature would come through 

kaeya seeing that you two knew each other and were quite amicable ahem even if he did try to kill us would join in w his own smooth nature 

expect lots of cringe worthy moments and just jokes™

childe would probs say something like 

“i’ve heard mondstadt is famous for it’s wine, i would like to try some and see just how good it really is” and BOOM it’s over for you

you thought they needed you to keep it amicable???

naH now you’re just third wheeling bestie💀

100% inseparable and now drinking buddies at the end of the night 

their natures just FIT like you thought dealing w them alone was bad??? BYE you’re in for a treat then 

enDLESS TEASING!!! it!! will!! not!! stop!!! 

they just team up to make sure you’re either flustered or ready to wring their gorgeous necks 

they would probs end up being spar buddies too 

childe would casually bring up the fact that he likes to fight and would maybe p o s s i b l y like to spar especially w someone in the famed knights of favonius 

kaeya would agree and BOP BOP sparring buddies 

but in conclusion!!! to this very unnecessarily long post!! kaeya and childe would meet as a result of you, they would hit it off bc c’mon they’re so similar it hurts and they’re not following you anymore now you’re following them <3 

a lil bonus scenario bc writing this has been sm fun:

“you’re such a lightweight” kaeya laughed out while his new friend was miserably collapsed on the bar stool next to him. childe looked up from where his head was tucked into his arms and raised an eyebrow. “is that a challenge captain?” he huffed out, his usually clear ocean blue eyes now dilated with the effects of the wine. “you shouldn’t have ordered hardcore alcohol as your first sample of mondstadt wine. that’s a rookie mistake” kaeya remarked while amusedly staring at his companion’s deconstructed state. “yeah well, honestly i think i can still take a couple more drinks. probably more than you anyway” childe retorted. his flushed cheeks however, told another tale altogether. kaeya smirked, a competitor huh? “i wouldn’t expect anything less from a fatui harbinger” were his words and with that, two more drinks were waved over by the cavalry captain.  

needless to say, an hour later, two extremely drunk, flushed men stumbled out of angel’s share, all the while giggling about gloves of all things. it’s safe to assume that they were both kicked out, if the ten drinks they had ordered were of any significance. as they help each other up while making their way onto the streets of mondstadt, they leave behind a bill fit for a feast, and a night that they will certainly remember (especially due to the nasty hangovers they will inevitably wake up to the following morning). 

#childe #kaeya #genshin crack #genshin impact masterlist #genshin imagines #genshin childe #genshin kaeya #this is so long for no reason i am so sorry #genshin headcanons #genshin scenarios #genshin impact headcanons #kaeya alberich #genshin fluff #tartaglia #childe imagines #kaeya imagines

[writtenbynightlock]

synopsis: college kept your life busy. the miya twins also have a life of their own. with your secretive nature, things became complicated.

genre: angst, fluff, friends to lovers

wc: 1.9k

warnings: college au, series, post time-skip spoilers

Part 4 | Part 6

Miya Atsumu has had the reputation of being Japan’s best high school setter, as well as its best server. His accomplishments and background made him qualified to be the starting setter for the University Volleyball Team as they have witnessed his plays during National matches which led to the coaches having big expectations of him with his skills and Atsumu never disappoints — not until today’s practice.

Miya Atsumu was off in his game.

With a shake of the head from the head coach, this led the assistant coach to declare a water break.

“Atsumu, don’t let the fans distract you in your play, okay?” the head coach says, gesturing to the small group of girls in the stands. Atsumu let out a sigh as he glances up to hear them squealing --- a bit tired of the thought that they just won’t leave him alone. He appreciates the support, it even gives him confidence but right now, their support was more of a nuisance to him but his fangirls weren’t responsible for his loss of focus.

“Yes coach.” 

Atsumu grumbles as he grabbed his water bottle from the bench, aggressively drinking the cool liquid, hoping to lessen his frustrations on his performance today. Atsumu has always been a perfectionist when it comes to volleyball because he knows that he is skilled and of course, he wants to keep on improving to the sport he dedicated his life into. Not being able to perform well in practice makes him irritated as ever.

“Oya? Slacking off now, are we?” snickers Suna as he wipes his sweat, stopping beside Atsumu who had his eyebrows furrowed, glaring at the wall.

“I am not slacking!”

“Wanna know what your spikers think? We are not satisfied.”

“I’ll give ya a perfect set after this.” Atsumu clicked his tongue and looked away from Suna, wiping off his sweat aggressively. Suna rolled his eyes and slapped Atsumu’s back, making the setter cower from the impact and glares at Suna as he soothes the impacted area.

“Why do ya and Aran always hit me?!”

“Because you’re being an idiot!”

“How am I being an idiot?!”

“I can’t believe you didn’t ask Osamu for help on this one.”

“He might spill the beans on (Y/N)! I want to tell her myself!”

“Then what are you waiting for? You’ve been ignoring her for awhile now. Talk to (Y/N), Atsumu. If you continue being like this, then you are no different from her ex boyfriend. A total douchebag. Ignoring her isn’t gonna solve things.”

Atsumu clenches on his water bottle as he heard your name. His heart aches for abandoning you like that --- not talking things out. He believes you had no idea that you two kissed because he knows your memory is poor when you’re drunk. He had been planning to talk to you for quite some time but he wasn’t ready. He wasn’t ready of the feeling in being rejected but this is something he needs to face.

With a whistle from the assistant coach, Atsumu, Suna and the rest of the players resumed the practice for the upcoming tournament.

It was late in the evening. You just finished your last class for the day. With a content sigh, you gripped onto the strap of your bag before walking the empty University grounds where lights were all lit up, illuminating the University buildings with the moon and stars shining and twinkling. The cool and fresh breeze made it even more of a peaceful walk back to your apartment. 

Finally arriving the main streets of Hyogo, you were greeted by bright lights of buildings and people crossing the streets, some going shopping. The part of Hyogo to where you were current at was the busiest part --- the shopping center. Tall buildings were all lit up and multiple cars were causing traffic. It was just the typical night scenery every time you go home from university. 

As you pass by restaurants, your stomach started to grumble, in need of food.

What were you gonna eat for dinner?

As you stopped in your tracks and pondered for a moment, thinking if you should dine in or just order food for take out, a familiar car suddenly parked to where you were at the sidewalk. The window rolls down and a head from inside peers at you with a big smile on their face.

“M-mom? What are you doing here?”

“I haven’t seen you in awhile and that’s how you’re gonna greet me, sweetie?”

“Sorry. I’m just surprised.”

“Have you had dinner?”

With another growl from your stomach that was loud enough for your mom to hear from the car, she laughs and points her finger to the door.

“Well you’re in luck, sweetie. I cooked your favorite foods today. Hop in. I’ll let you eat back at your apartment so that I’ll also be able to see how much of a mess you’ve made.”

“Hey! I am not messy!”

“Keep telling yourself that, sweetie.”

Excitement fills in your system of the thought you’re gonna have a home cooked meal — the kind of meal that just has the different kind of satisfaction compared to restaurants. You love your mother’s cooking. Not only is it delicious, but it also comforts your soul. A mother’s love is definitely put on the plate.

As you sat down on the front seat and buckling your seat belt, your mom drove the two of you to your apartment building. On the way, the two of you did a lot of catching up like how were your studies and did you make any friends to which you answered a bit enthusiastically because you did with Kaori. Even though your mom knows about Kaori, you told her that you and Kaori are much closer this year. You really love moments like this with your mom considering how busy she is with her work. Too bad your father went on a business trip but the three of you seem closer than ever because growing up, your parents always try to accompany you when you were still a kid. When you got into university, your parents had already planned for you to start being independent to prepare you for your future.

Sharing some laughs here and there, your eyes were finally fixated on the road. As you just stared at the scenery, you can’t help but feel a bit jealous at couples who were walking beside each other on the sidewalk, all love and smiles in the air. You can’t help but frown a little. You regretted dating Nakamura. All he did was just adding to your emotional trauma.

You can’t help but wonder if there is someone out there who really is meant for you.

With the car coming to a stop, you looked around and it was not the parking area of your apartment building. You were still in the main streets. Confused, you looked at your mom who was looking intently at the sidewalk ahead.

“What are you looking at, mom?”

“Which one was it of the twins dearie? The one looking like a bee?”

“What?”

Looking at the sidewalk, your eyes widened at the familiar figure who was just innocently walking down the street, unaware of his surroundings as he just minded his own business. Your heart started to beat faster in your chest as the figure starts to near the car, still looking straight ahead. His varsity jacket hugged his figure as he kept his hands inside the pockets to keep him warm from the cold autumn breeze, with his gym bag slung over his shoulder. You observed that he had a serious expression on his face — somewhat troubled as he grumbles to what was in his head.

Before you could even reply, your mom honked the car to only startle the setter, him jumping a bit from the sudden sound, making you hold your laugh as you saw the expression on his face. It was priceless.

“Mom, what are you doing?!” 

As the window of the car from your side started to roll down, you started to panic. You didn’t want to be seen right now. You definitely wanted to avoid Atsumu. The odds were against you at the moment as Atsumu finally calmed down and looks at the car with a confused expression but decides to just continue walking but then your mom called his name, miraculously identifying the right twin.

“Atsumu-kun!”

Your mom says with a big smile as she waves at your long time friend. Your mom has been friends with the Miyas for a long time --- as the mother of the twins and your mom were pretty much besties. Of all the times you and your families get together, your mother still gets confused on who was who even if their hair colors were dyed purposely for people to tell them apart. 

You wanted to get out of there. Starting to unbuckle your seat belt and just hide at the back, it was too late when Atsumu peers at the window. A bright smile made its way on his face when he saw your mother, feeling a bit of comfort of seeing a familiar person in a street full of strangers.

“Is that you, Mrs. (L/N)?”

“Yes it is, sweetie. Did you just finish practice?”

“I did. What brings you here, Mrs (L/N)?”

“I happen to cross (Y/N) here on her way back to her apartment. I actually cooked a lot of food tonight. Do you want to have dinner with us? (Y/N) told me that you like my cooking.”

Atsumu gazes at you a bit. He smiles a little when he saw how you were trying to avoid eye contact with him as you kept your head down and kept fumbling with your fingers — a habit you have when you’re nervous that Atsumu has caught on. He finds it pretty cute. Realizing the possibility to where this was going, he’s gonna use this as an opportunity to finally talk to you as the words from Suna kept ringing in his head.

You turned to your mom as you were avoiding Atsumu’s gaze on you — your face tomato red from the sudden situation you are in — not to mention how the familiar scent of fresh lemons that Atsumu gives off makes you addicted to it. You gave your mom a look that just screams ‘stop embarrassing me!’ .

“Oh did she now? I’m happy to join you, Mrs. (L/N)”

“Splendid! Hop in.”

On the car ride back to your apartment, you can’t help but drown in Atsumu’s scent, oh how you missed it too much. You feel your cheeks heat up, knowing Atsumu was at the back seat as he converses with your mom who exchanged some talks and laughs. 

While they enjoyed their time, you can’t help your mind drifting to the night when you and Atsumu were being intimate. The way his lips move against yours. The way he caresses your cheek in circles and how you ended up on his lap. Was he gonna tell you about it? The sudden memory of you running and puking in the bathroom made you groan a little loud, making your mom and Atsumu divert their attention to you.

“You okay sweetie?”

You look at your mom with wide eyes, not intending to catch their attention with your memory. You blush bright red as you felt Atsumu’s gaze on you. 

“Why wouldn’t I be? Eyes on the road mom!”

It was gonna be a long night for you. 

Taglist: @softiebadbitch​ @underratedmage​ @haikyuu-appreciation-club​

#Miya Atsumu #miya atsumu x reader #atsumu miya x reader #atsumu headcanons #haikyuu atsumu #atsumu x reader #haikyuu!! #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu fluff

[thou-crusty-batch-of-nature]

The rise and fall of our love

part one | part two

playlist: gold by nick murphy and chet faker

too young to burn by sonny and the sunsets

cold cold cold by cage the elephant

pairing: reader x james, lily x james

warnings: language, fluff, a bit of angst

A/N: hope you like my first proper series! i've been working on this for a while and i'm so excited to finally post it! feedback is very much appreciated so lmk what you think

also, credits to @approved-by-dentists for the iconic line "I'll drop kick your firstborn", you can check her frog memes here

and credits to the harry potter wiki fandom, I took those amortentia info from there

p.s. the cover is made by me

word count: roughly 2.4K

MASTERLIST

"You can't expect me to believe this!" James was looking at you with his mouth agape and exaggerated wide eyes which made the conversation slightly more embarrassing than it already was. 

"5 minutes till midnight!" Sirius announced from a table with several bottles of champagne by his side. 

"Well, you should. I'm telling the truth!" 

"Y/N!" he shouted in a serious note, as if he was trying to decide whether you were lying or not. Your ears were burning. Someone hex me right now. 

"James!" you answered - this was like a bad version of the Marco Polo game.

Something in your eyes convinced him of your honesty. "You have never been kissed on New Year's Eve!" he gasped with such amazement that you didn't have the heart to reveal that, in fact, you have never been kissed by anyone on any other occasion - you still needed that remaining bit of dignity. Well, not a real kiss, that is. The only time you have ever kissed someone was on a game of spin the bottle in 3rd year, when you and Remus shared a very awkward one-second kiss, that James never forgot to bring up every other day. 

"Why is it such a big deal - I don't need a kiss to have a lucky year! I can manage fairly well on my own, thank you very much!" 

The whole Gryffindor Common Room was buzzing with chatter, clinking glasses and loud music. New Year's Eve meant a great deal to gryffindors, whether it was for the booze, the games or the chance to kiss your crush at midnight. 

You could proudly say that your presence was owed to none of the above, but rather to the persistent demands of your best friend, Marlene. Not that you didn't love a good party - it's the opposite, really. The only problem was your low intolerance to alcohol; three big gulps of beer were enough to make you the talk of the school for at least two weeks. And with Marlene and the marauders by your side, the chances of that to happen were outstandingly high.

"It's a matter of principle, it's about the neediness of human nature, about their need for closure and contact in order to feel full and satisfied! It's about the idea of knowing that you have emotional support!" he declared passionately with a hand over his chest. 

"So, people are horny and they need to kiss other people for them to feel valid and worthy?" You scrunched up your nose in disgust. "That's messed up!" 

"It's love, Y/N! It's not supposed to make sense, it's like magic!"

"You sound like a cringy girl from a romantic muggle movie!" You snorted.

"You're incredible!" James sighed, disappointed. "Alright, I'll show you, you'll see!" Soon enough, a gigantic clock appeared over the fireplace starting the New Year's countdown. 

"9…" People were chanting joyfully. 

"8…" You could feel James' stare, but you kept your eyes glued to the clock. 

"7...6…5…" You sensed him inch closer. 

"4…" He spun you around and cupped your cheek. 

"3…" You were lost in his eyes. They were an infusion of spring and autumn, a melt of fiery leaves and honey. 

"2… 1!" His soft lips met yours, and you could hear fireworks erupting outside the castle. You felt your soul implode. The kiss was shy, yet passionate. His hands were slowly grazing your back while yours found their way to his dark curls. It felt right - perfect, even. 

Even though it was your first kiss, you knew it was the best you'd ever have. Everything was easier when you were with James, everything felt at peace. You pulled apart when you ran out of breath, still longing for more. Your whole face was on fire, and you let your forehead rest on his. 

"Here you go. Wasn't that bad, was it?" 

"Eh- t'was alright." you joked, trying to sound cool. You laughed nervously, though you were pretty sure it sounded more like a squeal. Great. 

"Do you think Lily saw it?" Something in his voice made you realise that he wished she did. You were just a puppet in his cruel play. Your heart wrenched a little, but you managed to hide your pain. 

"Don't know. I haven't seen her tonight." You were his friend. That's all. The kiss meant nothing for him, and that was okay. 

Just great. 

"I think imma go check on Marls." you said, trying to hold your tears back. "Thank you, for the kiss." you exclaimed sarcastically, though James didn't seem to notice. He nodded absentmindedly, his eyes already on a certain red-head. 

Oh, you were so stupid! How could you let this happen? A wave of nausea washed over you while the knot in your stomach kept pulling at your insides. 

You made your way through the sea of people, right where you knew Marlene would be. There she was: lounging on the couch next to Sirius, drinks in hands, talking about Merlin knows what. You suddenly felt very bad to disturb your best friends who were both clearly having a great time, so you quickly turned the other way. 

"Y/N!" Marlene shouted. Shit. You quickened your pace, only to hear her shouts over the music. "Y/N Y/L/N stay where you are or I swear I'll knock you down!" 

You continued to walk but stopped when you saw James and Lily a few steps ahead. She was laughing while he was whispering something in her ear. Lily spotted you and smiled teasingly. You took a deep breath. Defeated, you turned and saw Marlene's tall figure facing you. "What happened? Why are you crying?" 

You haven't realised that until she asked you. Good thing that James was too busy fawning over Lily to notice. 

Marlene didn't wait for an answer to take your hand in hers and lead you back to your dorm. She pulled you in her arms while you finally let your tears fall. You felt pathetic; how could you believe he would actually like you the way you did? 

You told her everything apart from that unbecoming smile Lily gave you. They were also friends, not as good as you two were, but you didn't want to stir up any arguments. 

You and Marlene have been best friends for over six years. You used to be quite an introvert, whereas Marlene was cocky enough for the two of you, so she made it her goal to get you out of your shell. And she succeeded - even too well, some would say. 

And as for you and Lily, things were - you guessed you could call them decent. Neither of you made any effort to be besties, as Lily made it quite clear she didn't like you. However, you managed to become acquaintances for the sake of your friends'. 

"Y/N! What is our number one rule?" she asked when you finished. 

You sighed. "Bros over hoes." 

"I will never put a boy over our friendship, Y/N. You come first. Especially when you have a problem."

"Okay, mother." you rolled your eyes. "I should've drank the damned firewhisky. It would have been a far better alternative to get shitface drunk than deal with all this." 

"You're right." You glared at her. "What? You really are. That just proves my theory further: technically, alcohol is a solution."

×××

Naturally, the odds haven't been in your favour, and Lily and James were closer than ever. You would be lying if you said you were happy for them. 

"Now, Y/N/N, that's just cruel!" Marlene said with her mouth full, spitting half of her breakfast on you. Then, she silently handed you a napkin. You gave her a nod of thanks. "I mean, I get it, you are a tad bit jealous, but that's understandable!" 

"Am not!" you defended. "I'm happy for my friend for finding his love." You choked that word out. "Okay, I might be a tiny tiny bit jealous but that's not the case right now! I just don't understand his choice!" 

"Ah… here goes that 'he could've had all this but he chose that' speech..." Marlene sighed. 

"Yes- I mean no! That's not what I mean! I just don't like Lily!"

"I know…" she said regretfully. "She is a good friend to me, really - she's not that bad. I know you two had your problems, but… Wait, what are your problems exactly?" she squinted her eyes in confusion. "You've never told me the real reason you two don't get along." 

"Well…" 

"Good morning darlings!" Sirius interrupted, plopping down next to Marlene. 

"Good morning to you too!" James chirped with a sheepish smile plastered on his face. He sat next to you, hugged you and you could swear you heard him squeal. 

"Well, someone seems to be in an awfully good mood this early in the morning. Waddup?" you ask, popping the 'p'. 

"Someone got back to the dorm very late last night after having spent the entire day with -" 

"LILY-FLOWER! HERE!" James got up and waved frantically towards her. She furrowed her brows when she spotted him next to you and you quickly averted your gaze.

"Hello there!" she smiled, sitting down on the other empty spot next to James. She took his hand in hers and glanced at you. You rolled your eyes. 

"Is there something wrong?" Lily asked innocently. 

"Nah, everything's alright." Just my back hurts a little... from all the stabs. The intensities of your stares could burn holes through each other's bodies. 

"Y/N, have you finished your DADA essay? I think it was due Wednesday and I haven't written a word!" Remus cuts in, sensing the tension. You made a mental note to thank him later.

×××

"So what was all that about?" You were in the library "helping" Remus write his essay - in reality, you were munching on his chocolate while he was reading.

"What?" You decided to play dumb, hoping he would drop the subject. Remus leaned in his chair and rubbed his eyes. It was too early for any of this. 

"Your 'friendship' with Lily." he air quoted. 

"There's nothing wrong with us…" 

"Oh, then let me call her here and make friendship bracelets together!" he mocked. "You almost hugged to death out there!" 

"Quiet!" you heard madam Pince's high screech.

You let your head fall in your hands. "Is it so obvious?" you whispered. He gave you the are-you-kidding-me face and you groaned. 

"Fine! The truth is that I don't know why she hates me! I've tried to be her friend for so many years, ever since she became Marl's friend - and she rejected me every single time. Not to mention that she has never been the nicest to me. And now she acts like I drop-kicked her firstborn and I'm sick of it."

"So nothing happened?" 

"Nothing that I know of…" 

"Huh…" It was clear he expected somewhat of a greek tragedy. You glanced at the clock and cursed, you were running late to class. "Remus, we gotta leave."

You both got up in a hurry, stuffing parchments and quills in your bags. "Potions?"

You checked the time again. "In five minutes." 

"Shit." 

You sprinted down the halls of Hogwarts, going on every shortcut you knew. You reached the classroom faster than ever - seriously, you must’ve broken a record.

"What time is it?" Remus asked, a bit out of breath. 

"10:04" you managed to say. 

Remus knocked on the door while you struggled to keep an upright position - you had to admit that you were a bit out of shape. 

"Ah, Remus and Y/N, I was beginning to worry! Everybody is late today! Do you happen to know about Potter and Lily's whereabouts?" 

"No, sir." 

"Probably in a broom closet." Sirius said between coughs. Slughorn decided not to hear this remark. 

"Very well, then find your seats and get your books out." You hurried towards the empty desk behind Sirius and a now-seated Remus. Where was he? 

"Now, as I was saying. I prepared some concoctions this morning which you can find on your desks. Any ideas what these might be?" 

"It's Armortentia!" someone from the front exclaimed. 

"Excellent! Now, this is the most powerful love potion in existence. It causes a powerful infatuation or obsession from the drinker. Despite its power, Amortentia doesn't create actual love; it's impossible to manufacture or imitate love."

 You were already growing tired. "Miss Y/L/N, you seem awfully relaxed. Care to reveal what scent do you smell?" 

Your head shot up from the desk, trying to remember the question. You were ready to ask the professor to repeat it when you saw Sirius pointing to his nose and then to the potion. 

Thanks, you mouthed and Sirius winked. 

"I smell…" you started, closing your eyes and sniffing the liquid. 

"I smell gingerbread, old books and…"...James. You quickly opened your eyes as the realisation dawned onto you. "... musky cologne." 

"Wonderful, miss Y/L/N! Now, in the hour that remains you and your desk mates will have to brew an acceptable vial of Amortentia, helped by the example before you and of course, your books. So, open the books at -"

A loud knock interrupted Professor Slughorn. He turned his head just as James and Lily barged into the room all giggly and blushy. 

"Excuse us, professor! We had some urgent Prefect duties!" Yeah, right. 

"You are a tad late, I'm afraid. Oh well, you may come in, I've just finished the instructions for today's lesson. Potter, there's an empty seat next to Y/N; Lily, you can take a seat next to Miss Macdonald."

"Hello, roomie!" James whispered when he sat down, wiggling his eyebrows. "What are we brewing today?" he asked. Why did he always have that stupid smirk on his face? 

"That!" you pointed towards the tiny cauldron in front of you. 

"Hmm - let me see." he leaned forward to look at it, then scrunched up his nose when he tried to smell it. 

"Bloody hell, Y/N! Do you bathe in your perfume? And what is with this smell - lilies? Are lilies here? Well, besides the most beautiful one over there?" he nodded towards Evans. 

You couldn't help but blush and look away. You were sure you didn't put any perfume on this morning, so that meant…? 

"We are brewing Amortentia, you barmy wanker!" you heard Sirius' wheezy voice, who was trying and failing to hold his laughter. 

"Oh" James said, rubbing his neck. "Shit." 

Shitty indeed. 

You were in deep. 

****

part two

taglist: @futurewriter2000, @puppycat714, @booksbeforebois, @slytherinquill, @screennamealreadyused, @fific7, @with1love1anu

#James Potter #james potter x reader #james x reader #james potter fic #james potter fluff #james potter angst #james potter fanfiction #james x lily #Lily Potter #Lily Evans #Remus Lupin #Sirius Black #james potter imagine #the marauders era #the marauders #moony wormtail padfoot and prongs #Prongs #Padfoot #Moony #Wormtail #Harry Potter #hp #hp fic #hp imagine #harry potter fic

[g0ldengubler]

Chapter 10 ~ Strawberry Avalanche

A/N: AAAAAAA hey besties i'm baaaaaack! honestly, i lost all motivation for a couple of months, especially because wattpad is getting censored. i was scared that this story was going to be taken down, but now i've decided to keep going. Thankfully, this series is also on here so if nauseous is taken down on wattpad it will be here safe and sound. Also shortening chapters has been a nice thought. I'm sorry this one sucks i'm kinda rusty and this is more of a filler/catch up, but we're back at it again boizzz! Also, thank you so much for over 900 followers! Really really crazy but i'm so glad you guys are enjoying my fics. And I'm really glad everyone enjoyed lunchtime! I didn't think it would get that much love as I thought that kink wasn't something others would be into so I am planning on writing more one shots with other kinks I have. Things are just about to get good in nauseous...ok anyways i love uuuuuu <3

Category: Angst (??...yeah sure we'll go with that lol)

CW: Talks of cases; talks of murder

Summary: It's time to go back to work, and oh boy are they in for a "treat"

Word Count: 1817

masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Every time your alarm rang, you quote Cinderella at it, groggily saying, "Oh, that clock. Old killjoy." You hate waking up early, as sleep was such a beautiful thing in your book. When you were asleep, you were at peace, as if everything that had happened that day whether good or bad just went away. You were free in your dreams, running around like a child in a field of lavender. You had that dream here and there before you met Spencer. When the feelings for him grew over the course of a week, you started getting that dream frequently instead of waking up thinking you didn't dream or remembering a weird one. He would show up as a shadowy figure on the other side of the field and you would run over to it until you woke up once the figure turned around.

After you two made it official, the blur of the figure disappeared and turned into him. You would run as if it was the speed of light towards him, and he would turn around in a lilac colored cardigan, barely hiding the huge grin on his face. Spencer would pick you up around your waist and lift you up as he spun you around. Right before you kissed, however, you woke up. You were into the meaning of dreams, so you thought that at the right time, the kiss would happen.

As you got ready for the day, you couldn't stop thinking about the past month. You remember meeting Spencer and how your heart skipped a beat when your eyes first met in the conference room. You remember getting drunk and high with the team and how your boss was pretty much the life of the party without really meaning to. You laughed to yourself as the thought of Spencer high on edibles at Rossi's came in. He ate a whole brownie before Garcia could give a warning and once it kicked in it was hard not to laugh at his goofiness as he would only talk about Star Trek the whole night. He could've had the whole pot of spaghetti his munchies were so bad.

Garcia crept into your brain again as you got in your car. That night, instead of Spencer coming in to clean you up, it was Garcia.

With a wet washcloth in hand, she stood by the door and saw you on her bed, the laughter and voices echoing down the hall and into the room. You tried to cover yourself but she waved her hand away.

"Sugar cakes, don't worry about it," she said, walking over and sitting in front of you on the side of the bed. In a comforting way, she put a hand on your leg, rubbing it gently, "I'd be mad if it was other people on my bed going at it like rabbits. But you two? I don't seem to feel any steam coming out of my ears."

"Are you sure?" You asked, embarrassed, "I'm so sorry, Garcia."

"I'm just thankful that boy genius got laid."

The two of you laughed as she handed you the cloth. You took it and began cleaning yourself up, trying to clean what fell out onto the bed. Once you were done, Garcia gave you some advil and some water as you gave her the cloth back.

"Are you feeling ok, hun?" She asked as you were sipping on your water.

"Yeah, just a bit sore but nothing I can't handle." You hand her the glass of water back and fixed your pillows so they'd help you sit up.

"Reid is a very kind and respectful guy, Y/N," she said as she softly rubbed your leg, "I've known him since Gideon brought him on the team, I know he wouldn't do anything to hurt you."

"I see that in him," you said, "When he's not ruining me he's a total sweetheart and always open to trying new things if he wants to. He's really special to me, Penelope. I've never met someone like him. He's probably the first guy to want me for everything else, like the sex is just a bonus. Men back home were never like that."

Garcia smiled as she got up, looking down at you before leaning down and kissing the top of your head. "I'm glad you're here, Y/N. You've been the last missing puzzle piece for our team since you first walked in the conference room." Then she left, probably to let you rest.

You were still for a few minutes before you decided to try and get up. Once you were able to stand, you walked slowly out of the bedroom and back to the living room, which felt like it took you years to get to. You saw Spencer sitting on the couch next to Morgan, taking a joint from his hands. You watch as he put it to his lips and inhaled, holding it in for a sec before exhaling a big cloud out. He coughed before taking it back to his lips and took a couple more, handing it over to Jj.

As you parked in the parking garage, you remembered the butterflies you felt when his eyes caught yours. Morgan had got up and helped you walk to the couch, where you lay down with your legs on Spencer's lap. That night was so magical, but now you're back to work, dreading the amount of files that would be piled on your desk.

When you got out of the elevator to the 6th floor, you walked in the bulpin thinking you'd see Spencer at his desk, but your smile faded when you didn't. You looked around the room until you turned all the way around to the conference room, seeing all your friends in the window. You quickly-but calmly-walked up the ramp and into the room with a smile on your face, yet it went away again once you felt the room, seeing all their stern or worried faces.

"Y/L/N," said Hotch, "please take a seat."

"Is everything alright?" You ask as you sit next to Spencer. He locks his arm around yours and takes your hand in his, kissing it, knowing it was a way of his to comfort you.

Hotch was silent for a moment before he spoke. "While we were on our vacation, new cases have come to us. These cases were ones we had already solved, however."

No one spoke as he explained the two copycat cases. One was based from The Fox, a case they solved years ago, but it wasn't exact. The fox was more known for killing big families but this copycat killed small families, ones with only children. The other was one you knew all too well. A few years ago, couples were left in trunks of cars, all cut up and stabbed. You studied this case when it happened, and wrote an outstanding paper on it for class.

"We now have a copycat on our hands. This investigation will be going along while we also work on other cases. If needed, protection will be put for our loved ones. That is all. So far there hasn't been one to go to, but myself and Jj will let you know if one comes in."

With that, we all slowly walked back to your desks. Thankfully, yours was right in front of Spencer's. A part of you felt safe no matter what scenery you were in. But you still felt worried. With not being on the team for much time, you were scared for your friends. Stuff like this was part of the job, but that didn't mean you couldn't be human.

One thing was lingering in your mind the whole day...Was there a deeper connection between the two copycat cases?

~~~

Later that night, you finished your work for the day and headed home. Both you and Spencer felt too tired to do something, so you both went your separate ways. When you got home, you threw your bag and keys to a chair and fell on your couch as your dogs attacked you with love and kisses. Taking your boots off, you took your phone out and looked through your delivery apps to see if anything sounded good, but you didn't feel that hungry as you saw all the delicious options.

Remembering you had some wine on the counter, you got up and poured yourself a glass. You got changed into crewneck sweater and sweatpants that had U of M written all over it. Putting your hair up in a high ponytail, you made your way back to the couch and went through your phone, catching up on text messages from your dad, looking through memes and videos.

After a bit of time has passed, you were on your third glass and were feeling very tipsy. You turned on your speaker and went through your the music on shuffle before stumbling upon a song from high school, Strawberry Avalanche by Owl City. You hadn't listen to it or his music in years, so you decided to keep it on for old times sake. As the song got to the chorus, you felt your tipsy brain taking over, getting up from the couch and dancing along. Your furry friends-as Garcia would say-joined you as you picked up Draco's paws and gently brought him up on his back legs, while Benedict barked and went around in little circles, his eyes never leaving you.

You went to sleep after your dance party, wanting the comfort of your own bed rather than the less comfortable couch. As your children climbed on and settled down, you tried to drift off right away, wanting to go back to your dream, but you couldn't stop thinking about the deeper connection between the two cases. That feeling was bothering you beyond belief, as if it was on the tip of your tongue or right under your nose. 'They're not just copycats,' you thought, 'so then what's the other connection, if there is one?'

You sat up, letting your pillows support your back. You grabbed your notebook from the side table and pen and started writing down what you remembered from what Hotch said. They are copycats from two they have already solved. One in Detroit, the other in their own backyard. It couldn't of been anniversaries because they didn't happen on their exact days, but it could be revenge on the team.

You went deeper into the cases to feel an epiphany run through your whole body. The Fox copy killed smaller families, but the wife was left last. And in the Detroit copy, it was only straight couples and the women were stabbed the most.

This unsub was going after girlfriends and wives.

#spencer reid #spencer reid fan fiction #spencer reid fic #criminal minds #criminal minds fan fiction #cm #mgg

[nalgenewhore]

Elide could hardly calm herself as the team bus pulled up outside the arena, her heart pounding in her chest. 

It had been two long and lonely months since she had last been in Orynth after her move back home to Perranth for grad school. It was the championship game and Lorcan had been failing at hiding his disappointment ever since she told him it wasn’t looking like she could come watch the boys play. 

Her first call after her exam had been moved up by a week, leaving her free to fly back, had been to her sister, Aelin. The blonde beauty had immediately hatched a plan with Lysandra, the two of them figuring out flight details for Elide. 

She had flown in late last night and stayed with Aelin and Lysandra in their apartment, agreeing to keep it as a surprise for her boyfriend. 

That morning, she had FaceTimed him to wish him luck as the starting center for Terrasen University’s varsity basketball team. He’d smiled and thanked her and lamented about how he wished she could be there. Elide had expressed her regret at not being able to come home, only feeling slightly guilty because she knew it would have put him in a blue mood for the day. 

“Ooh, they’re here,” commented Aelin, looping her arm through Elide’s elbow. “I cannot wait to see his face, he’s gonna be so surprised.” 

Elide rested her head on her shoulder, grinning up at her, “I love you so much, thank you for flying me out, babe.” 

Aelin waved her hand, “Oh, don’t even worry about it, I had extra Air Miles. Well that and I could not stand that brooding mans of yours any longer. He used to be such a fun drunk bestie, now all he does is drink vodka from the bottle and cry about you and make random calls.”  

Elide laughed and said, “One, I think it’s adorable y’all still believe you two aren’t sober besties as well and two, who do you think is the recipient of all his drunken dials?” 

“Oh, that sneaky bastard, he promised me he wasn’t calling you! Cheeky lil shit that is not my best friend.”

“Whatever you tell yourself to sleep at night, Ace.”  

While they were chatting, the boys had begun to climb out of the bus, most with their hoods flipped over their heads and earbuds in, stone-faced as they walked into the gym. Aelin nudged Elide and she looked up to see Lorcan, the last one walking off the bus. A giddy smile pulled at her plush lips and she felt a swarm of butterflies in her stomach. 

The rest of the Cadre, as they were referred to, had already spotted the raven-haired woman and grinned to themselves, silently nodding as they passed her. Elide smiled back at them, biting her lip as Aelin stepped back and she waited. 

Lorcan didn’t notice her as he walked closer and closer, in that headspace he went to before games. He glanced at her and did a double take, stopping in his tracks. He didn’t blink as he slowly pulled his headphones off and gaped at her, “E?” 

Elide beamed and sprinted towards him, throwing her arms around his neck, her feet dangling off the ground as he wrapped his arms around her waist. 

“Hi, baby. I made it.” 

He laughed and pulled back, looking down at her with the happiest smile she had ever seen, “H-how? When? Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“My exam got moved to last week, I’m done for the semester, L. Ace flew me in with her Air Miles and I stayed with her and Lyssie last night after I landed, they picked me up. I wanted to surprise you?” 

Lorcan’s smile didn’t fade one iota as he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers, whispering, “I love you so, so much, Elide Lochan.” 

Her cheeks were beginning to hurt with the force of her grin, but she didn’t care, not as she kissed him back, not realizing how much she had missed his lips on hers until she felt them again. “And I love you so, so much, Lorcan Salvaterre.” 

Elide slowly let her arms down, wrapping them around his waist as he slung one of his over her shoulder, keeping her close to his side.

Lorcan kissed the crown of her head and Elide pressed her lips to the hand dangling off her shoulder. They began slowly making their way to the team entrance when a body disrupted their little bubble. “Am I the best person or what?” Lorcan rolled his eyes at Aelin and shook his head. “Oh, come on, Lorcy-Poo, you know you love me.” 

“The word is ‘loathe’, Galathynius. You’d think that as an English major, you’d know the difference,” he shot back at her, the two friends dissolving into their petty bickering, though Elide knew it was all a pretense, to keep up their ‘street cred’. “Say, G, what’s it like spending thousands for a useless degree?” 

Elide knew that Lorcan had ‘won’ this round when all her sister had to say was repeat his words in a mocking tone. “Shut your bitch ass up, Salvie. At least I’m smart enough to get in with my grades and not cause I can throw a ball.” 

“For the last time, you’re an English major, what’d you do, recite the alphabet and they let you in? And fuck you, I’m a fucking engineering major, dumbass.” 

Elide interrupted before it escalated further, “While I am highly entertained by your cutting remarks and unmatchable wit, one of you has a basketball game to play and the other needs to buy me a snack, so chop-chop.” 

Aelin nodded in agreement, turning to Lorcan and flipping him off. “I hope you lose,” she told him. 

“Mm, do you though? If we lose, Ro’s gonna be pissy and won’t give you that “daddy” dick you’re always begging for,” Lorcan said, smiling wickedly as Aelin blushed. “Ha, I knew it, y’all are fucking nasty. Also, Rowan Whitethorn? Is he really daddy? Like, for real though. Just think about it for your sake,” he told her, tilting his head to the side as he drew out the syllables of his brother’s name, “Rowan Whitethorn. Hmm.” 

“Choke on my monster cock, whore.” 

“Anneith below, good luck, baby, we’re going now,” cried Elide pushing her sister to the side and patting her ass, “Come on, get out of here.” Lorcan smirked at Aelin’s retreating form and looked down at Elide, tilting her chin up as she wrapped her arms around his waist. 

He leaned down to kiss her softly, feeling the corners of her mouth twitch upwards. 

“You gonna win this one? For me?” she asked him, looking up at him as she cocked her head to the side. 

“Lochan,” he said, tracing his thumb over the apple of her cheek, “it’s all for you.”

+*+*+*+*+*+*

@myfeyrelady​  @kandasboi​ @the-regal-warrior​ @rhysands-highlady​ @schmlip-scribble​ @shyvioletcat​ @westofmoon​ @empire-of-wildfire​ @alifletcher2012​ @tangledraysofsunshine​ @city-of-fae​ @ttakeitbacknoww​ @tswaney17​

#aelin and lorcan are the ultimate brotp you cannot change my mind

[djarinscyare]

IS IT OC DAY YET?!?!?! BECAUSE I HAVE THOUGHTS(tm)

OKAY SO ANYONE WITH A RUDIMENTARY UNDERSTANDING OF STAR WARS KNOWS ABOUT MANDALORIANS RIGHT?

My Mando OC is from swtor and i love him. His name is Ke’ade and he was born on Tatooine to a Republic settlement, unfortunately after an invasion from the Empire left his home in ashes and he himself missing in the desert for several days he became a Bounty Hunter, running from one world to the next (there was an incident on Mek-Sha). now imagine this death-stick-smoking-sith-shit-talking-tiny-motherfucker meeting the-perfect-jedi-embodiment-of-peace-and-serenity — what happens then?? WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THEY FIND OUT HE’S FORCE SENSITIVE?!?!???! WHAT DO YOU DO WITH A FORCE SENSISTIVE MANDALORIAN?!?!?!? (Bounty Hunter)

drinking, drinking happens

Mar’keo is the perfect jedi, serene, calm, understanding and compassionate. unfortunately he is surrounded by seven other dumbasses ranging from chaotic neutral to chaotic slut. He develops what ultimately comes to a little bit of a drinking problem (during the Mek-Sha incident)- he can’t handle this gremlin boy he meets on Nar Shadaa???? He already has Nicky???? he’s like that dad that says he doesn’t want anymore kids and yet adopts the next child he sees. After the Alderaan Accident there’s a nice little rhyme that goes around the family: “what do you do with a drunk-ass Jedi what do you with a drunk-ass jedi what do you do with a drunk ass jedi earrrly in the mooooorning?” (Consular)

And Nicky, sweet, feral Nicky, this kid took down the EMPEROR the goddamn BIG BAD. He’s so done with everything. he’s batshit 25/8. diplomacy???? Lana handles that because there is NOT going to be another Alderaan Accident. He’s married to Theron Shan who (despite refusing to admit it) is just as feral and impulsive. Mar’keo and Nicky have known each other since they were BABIES- growing up in the Jedi Order together and literally the first two members of their weird dysfunctional family that would kill and die for each other. (Knight)

Don’t even get me started on Trii’va. She’s all of them combined in a beautiful blend of chaotic dumbass and pure big dick energy. Did i mention she’s married to He’katia??? Member of the Dark Council and right hand lady to Darth Marr??? No??? Well we shall come back to that. This chick is the loopiest smuggler on the hyper lanes, she taught Nicky how to ride a motorbike and give Mar’keo and Lana an extra 35 heart attacks a month. (smuggler)

He’katia is The Librarian Lesbian That Kills People For Fucking Up The Dewey Decimal System and is the Togruta embodiment of “Books are better than people” she loves the Empire and openly advocates for change amongst the Sith while proudly showing off her feral wife and having tea parties with Darth Marr while they bitch about Vowrawn and Saresh. (inquisitor)

KEL!!!! KEL’KATIS!!!! or as Mar’keo calls him “that slut” because let’s be real he is the SLUTTIEST Sith on the block and there is an ongoing rivalry between Nicky and Kelly to see who has the softest hair in the known galaxy and let me tell you it gets VIOLENT.

we don’t talk about the Water Shortage of ‘07

Karavia- because where did Trii’va learn her sass if not from her mom? Trii’va is adopted, Karavia (or auntie Kavvy as the rest call her) is Cathar and Trii’va is Twi’lek and she is THE most badass mom ever, literally, take no shit. She hates, hates the brass, and so when given free reign over Havoc Squad and her uptight-but-in-a-cute-way lieutenant she uses every chance to piss off as many entitled fucks as she can and well...... Monkey see monkey do right? (trooper)

and then, at last, we have Ahtoan. Tony. Top-Hat-McGee as Ke’ade lovingly dubbed him. The youngest member of Imperial Intellegence and the youngest saboteur to fuck that shit up. He is by far the youngest of all of them (not even hitting twenty at the beginning of the story) and was found by Nicky somewhere between the end of Ilum and the beginning of Makeb. The poor kid is tired, he just wants to go to sleep. He’s never had a real family and so when he meets these seven other fucked up weirdos he is SO happy- and then Mar’keo offers to help heal him, and so breaks down crying and just HUGS the man. (Agent)

It is at that point we reach the collective look of “We’ve only had Tony a day and a half but if anything happened to him we’d kill everyone in the galaxy and then ourselves”

suffer reading all that Darth Mags

lets. fucking. go.

Ke'ade

loving that Tragic Backstory™ and whenever someone says the words Bounty Hunter I always go 👀👀👀👀👀

HES TINY!!??!?!? HE IS SMOL???!!!!?!?!???! he is mine now I am stealing him. AND HES FORCE SENSITIVE??!!?!?!?!

in curious abt this perfect-je si-embodiment-of-peace-and-serenity and now the two would act around each other 👀👀👀👀

Mar'keo

Mar'keo and the Seven Dumbasses sjfsjfsjfsfhzhfsh p l e a s e its like this weird off brand snow white movie I watched at the beach with Hero 😂😂😂

okay so im assuming this is the Perfect Jedi Character you were talking abt?? ok good.

cant wait for chaos slut to make an appearance

aww, poor alcoholic bby, its ok I support him no matter what. also all this talk of mek-sha is scaring me.

NICKY I think I remember nicky jahshshha

I'm assuminf the gremlin is Ke'ade??? correct me if I'm wrong please :))

"that dad that says he doesn't want any more kids but then adopts the next child he sees" ahem do you mean Qui-Gon???? I think you mean Qui-Gon.

THE RHYME I'm in love

Nicky

NICKY !!!!! sweet feral nicky :') I love him already.

Hes just tired, he took down the big bad, let him rest.

done with everything??? batshit 25/8????? sounds like my kind of dude tbh

the alderaan accident 👀👀👀 im intrigued

we stan jedi besties-since-birth

FUCK YEAH JEDI KNIGHT BABEYYY

Trii'va

ma'am pls step on me

I live for chaotic dumbass ladies

honestly she just sounds so cool, 10/10 I love her

MARRIED TO MAULS RIGHT HAND LADY AYYYYY

did someone say badass wives who kick as a while looking hot as fuck? no??

He'katia

I have no words to express how much I love her

LIBRARY LESBIAN

I just zhshhagaggagsga

showing off her wide??? tea parties with maul?????? gimme.

Kel'katis

*bangs fist on table* CHAOS SLUT

I love the him. I want more. please tell me more abt the chaos slut.

lmaooo soft hair battle 😂😂😂 I love it

Karavia

AUNTIE KAVVY P L E A S E THATS SO CUTE

this woman. I just- jdhdhshjshshsh

I love her.

pissing off the entitled and then the gang copies her 😂😂😂 I love it

Ahtoan

TONY

TOPHAT MCGEE

I LOVE HIM

babie

never had a real family 😭😭😭 please let me hug him, that's so soft abt the healing hshsbzbahbzb

in conclusion, I love them all.

its OC day! ~ celebration info post

#JIM #I LOVE THEM #jim does it again #jim's ocs #star wars #ask #mags answers #mags' 200

[mascaratearsnlipsticksmears]

1..Who was the last person you held hands with? Probably My son

2. Are you outgoing or shy? Shy until I’m

Comfortable

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? My surgeon

4. Are you easy to get along with? I try to Be. Don’t give me a reason to not Like you 😉

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? Never had someone take care of me from drinking .....I’m usually taking care of everyone else

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? Loyal. Chill. Down to earth .

7. Are you married? No.

8. Do you want to get married? Eventually . I do , but I need it to be for the right reason.

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Makes me feel Lonely lately believe it or not.... 😔

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Steve

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? “Oh cool 😎”

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

lil peep- star shopper

Brand new-Jesus Christ

Bebe rexha- I’m a mess

Anything Billie eillish

Doja cat -rules

Ashnikko-daisy

That’s more than 5, Idc

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? Only certain people

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? I don’t know anymore

15. What good thing happened this summer? Got a tan and not covid 👌🏼👌🏼

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? My little guy? I will kiss him when ever I can cause one day he’s not gonna want me to and I’ll be sad

17. Do you think there is life on other planets? Absolutely

18. Do you still talk to your first crush? Yes

19. Do you like bubble baths? 110%

20. Do you like your neighbors? Yea

21. What are you bad habits? Overthinking, caring to much.

22. Where would you like to travel? Anywhere

23. Do you have trust issues? No, people that scumbag me Normally get cut off so I only keep ppl around I trust.

24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Coffee & a bowl

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? Uhhh everything from the chin down 😔

26. What do you do when you wake up? Set gage up for class in the living room

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?darker

28. Who are you most comfortable around? Lauren Rayza

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? They don’t get the chance, yes a few tried to contact me but my mentality is fuck them.... one even tried emailing my friends to reach me 🙄🙄🖕🏼

30. Do you ever want to get married? I do, one day. Didn’t I just answer this

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? Yes

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? Idk I’d have to think about it

33. Spell your name with your chin. The fuck?

34. Do you play sports? What sports? Bought a bike yesterday Lol. I used to be on the swim team and I played soccer~ also took dance for 7 years.

35. Would you rather live without TV or music? Depends on my mood

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Absolutely.

37. What do you say during awkward silences? Try to avoid them at all Costs

38. Describe your dream girl/guy? No.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Sephora Ulta Victoria secret

40. What do you want to do after high school? Lol I think that bridge has been crosses already

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Not everyone , no.

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? Normally bad anxiety and hurting , or extremely chill

43. Do you smile at strangers?

Yea I do.... but now I forget I have a mask on and look like a retard

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? Can I just going fishing ?

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? My son.

46. What are you paranoid about? Money

47. Have you ever been high? There’s a joint in my hand.

48. Have you ever been drunk? Who writes these things??

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? No.

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? Navy

51. Ever wished you were someone else? Eh wish I was still me with more $$$

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? I don’t have to wish, I’m doing it.

53. Favourite makeup brand? Tarte, morphs, fenty

54. Favourite store? Didn’t I answer this?

55. Favourite blog? My own💚

56. Favourite colour? Black, Periwinkle , light lavender ,pink

57. Favourite food? Japanese

58. Last thing you ate? 8 hours slow cooked ribs

59. First thing you ate this morning? Coffee

60. Ever won a competition? For what? Probably & Idr

61. Been suspended/expelled? Started a food fight in the science lab and they suspended the wrong Angela ~Womp womp...I did get detention a lot cause my shirt was too low in the front tho.

62. Been arrested? No

63. Ever been in love? Yea I think so

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? No. ☺️

65. Are you hungry right now? I could eat.

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? Meh

67. Facebook or Twitter? Fb

68. Twitter or Tumblr? Tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?yes

70. Names of your bestfriends? Stephanie Lauren Rayza Kat Christina

71. Craving something? A simple hand hold...😔.... compliment here or there . To not have to do everything myself... I crave the help I constantly ask for and never get. I crave dick, I just don’t understand this shit anymore.... damnit tumblr u struck a nerve .

72. What colour are your towels? Mixed

72. How many pillows do you sleep with? 1

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? No

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?idk

75. Favourite animal? So many..... tigers maybe? & Lynx. Sharks.

76. What colour is your underwear? Not wearing any 😬

77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate

78. Favourite ice cream flavour? Mint chocolate chip

79. What colour shirt are you wearing? Olive green

80. What colour pants? None on.

81. Favourite tv show? In the dark

82. Favourite movie? All 50 shades.

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? First one

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? How do these compare

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? The Lebanese chick

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? Turtles

87. First person you talked to today? Gage

88. Last person you talked to today? Myself

89. Name a person you hate? Hate is a strong word.

90. Name a person you love? Gage

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? Lol Geoff

92. In a fight with someone? No

93. How many sweatpants do you have? No idea

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?Too many

95. Last movie you watched? “What if”

96. Favourite actress? Perry Mattfeld

97. Favourite actor? Hmmmm

98. Do you tan a lot?yassss

99. Have any pets? A zoo

100. How are you feeling? Confused, tired burning out ..

101. Do you type fast? I try

102. Do you regret anything from your past? Yes

103. Can you spell well? Eh

104. Do you miss anyone from your past? Yes

105. Ever been to a bonfire party? Yes

106. Ever broken someone’s heart? Yes

107. Have you ever been on a horse? Yes

108. What should you be doing? Listing stuff on Etsy

109. Is something irritating you right now? No

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? Absolutely

111. Do you have trust issues? No, just don’t give me a reason too.

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Ohhhh I don’t cry in front of ppl,cause then there’s a witness... did cry today tho, but you couldn’t see me.

113. What was your childhood nickname? Angiefur

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? Yes

115. Do you play the Wii?not really

116. Are you listening to music right now? No

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? Yes

118. Do you like Chinese food? Yes

119. Favourite book? Crank

120. Are you afraid of the dark?some times

121. Are you mean? Don’t cross me 😘

122. Do you believe in “the one that got away”? Yes.

123. Can you keep white shoes clean? I try

124. Do you believe in love at first sight? Idk

125. Do you believe in true love? Yes

126. Are you currently bored? Yes

127. What makes you happy? Attention lol romance? I think romance is dead tho...

128. Would you change your name? My last name? If I were getting married, yes

129. What your zodiac sign? Leo

130. Do you like subway? Food yes, smelly train no....

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? All my besties have vaginas, nothing to worry about.

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? Steve

133. Favourite lyrics right now? Brand new : Jesus Christ

134. Can you count to one million? Yea but why

135. Dumbest lie you ever told? I don’t lie so I don’t have that problem

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? Closed Cause only 1 Of my 4 asshole cats I allowed in my room

137. How tall are you? Oh how short am I? 5’1

138. Curly or Straight hair? Straight

139. Brunette or Blonde? Right now black

140. Summer or Winter?summer

141. Night or Day? Summer nights

142. Favourite month? August

143. Are you a vegetarian? Keto

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? Dark

145. Tea or Coffee? Coffee

146. Was today a good day? I think so

147. Mars or Snickers? Dark chocolate Milky Way

148. What’s your favourite quote? I’d have to think about it

149. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

“His thumb brushes my lower lip, and his breath hitches. He’s staring into my eyes, and I hold his anxious, burning gaze for a moment, or maybe it’s forever…but eventually, my attention is drawn to his beautiful mouth. And for the first time in twenty-one years, I want to be kissed.”

Excerpt From

Fifty Shades Trilogy Bundle: Fifty Shades of Grey; Fifty Shades Darker; Fifty Shades Freed

E L James

This material may be protected by copyright.

#Spotify

[outerspaceisbetterthannothing]

My Ultimate Reading List v2.0 Blurbs Part 1

A/N: As some of you have heard or seen, My Ultimate Reading List (in it’s original version) has crashed on desktop because of (as I realised trying to restore it) too big number of links, so I’m basically recreating the whole thing in a new format. This post goes for 1st part of Blurbs. Here’s the 2nd. There’s one more post for One Shots and Serieses. I’m really sorry for the tag notifs for the people who has been tagged already in a previous version. Hope it’s not much of an inconvenience. I’m also not going to delete the first version of the list, as it’s been liked and reposted a lot of times, it’s still working on mobile, so some might still use it. But all the updates are going to happen only on these two posts, which I’m going to put in my bio instead of an old one.

So, this list was created because of my crazy urge to reread favourite fics and blurbs from time to time. It was made purely for me, but if it helps you to find a fic or a writer you’d love, I’d be only happy. I tried to make navigation easy. For blurbs links go to my reblogs, for oneshots and full lengths links go to the original posts. I try to check links from time to time, but if you see that some of them don’t work, please, hmu.

* stands for the implied smut

*** stands for the pure smut

This list is far from finished, that’s just the first things that came to mind and/or were reblogged. Still have a ton to add. So will update it every now and then.

NOTE, pls: There’s no Michael content here! And that’s not because I don’t like him or don’t appreciate him enough. I guess, it’s quite the opposite tbh. There’s no Michael content here because I appreciate him too much. I love this cute little kitten, he’s the most precious soul and, most of the time I think, there would be no 5sos without Michael Gordon Clifford. I just don’t have any fantasies or images of him in me, don’t see him in any way romantically. That’s why I don’t read (or write for that matter) about him as main character. I understand, that I miss a whole lotta great authors and fics because of that. Maybe it’ll change in the future. But for now, it is what it is.

Also HUGE SHOUT OUT TO THE PEOPLE WHOSE WRITING IS ON THE LIST - THANK YOU FOR THIS! THESE FICS AND BLURBS BELOW HAVE REALLY GIVEN ME ALL TYPES OF FEELS, INSPIRATION, MOTIVATION AND CONTENT. I’M FOREVER GRATEFUL FOR THESE WONDERFUL GIFTS YOU GAVE TO ALL OF US.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, WONDERFUL PEOPLE! ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU!

Blurbs

All 4

First responders!5sos series by @calumsendgame and @heartbreak-5sos  

Character template, Guys talking girls

Police officer!Ashton First meeting, Meeting under cover, Late night at her apartment part1, part2***, Kitten’s Kitty, Ash being overprotective

Firefighter!Calum Coming home after shift*

Paramedic!Luke Coming home late, Exam preparation

Dad!5sos series by @calumsendgame

Dad!Calum Working at home, Baby boy Hood can’t leave Duke

Ashton

Cashton besties by @myloverboyash [I’m still crying over this]

Farmer!Ashton series by @calumsendgame HeadCanon, Losing the baby, Levi’s at the hospital, Willow’s teenage depression

Pregnant with a werewolf!Ash by @flannelpunkcalum

Valentine’s Day sex*** by @softforcal

Cashton threesome*** by @paqueretteash-deactivated201905

Overstimulation*** by @paqueretteash-deactivated201905

Telling Ash you’re pregnant by @paqueretteash-deactivated201905

Dealing with a teenage daughter by @i-calumhood

Accidental injury by @i-calumhood

Friend to lovers by @myloverboyash

Pregnancy cravings by @i-calumhood

Ashton and Joy by @bringmethehorizonandpizza [second part to Finding Joy]

Cuddle buddies by @i-calumhood

Best friend!Ash staying over under any possible excuse by @i-calumhood

Ash leaves you his clothes before going on tour by @asht0ns-world

Being pregnant with twins by @i-calumhood

You leaving surprises in Ashton’s baggage by @i-calumhood

Ash being nervous about kissing you by @angelbabylu

Ash and his kid missing mommy by @i-calumhood

Ash helping you study by @i-calumhood

Calum

Riding Cal for the first time*** by @i-calumhood

Cal eating you out by @flannelpunkcalum

Your picture on Cal’s home screen* by @softforcal

Giving Cal head while he’s on the phone by @softforcal

Shower sex*** by @i-calumhood

Cashton threesome*** by @paqueretteash-deactivated201905

Calum realising he’s in love by @permntvacaticn

Fighting with Cal by @cakesunflower

Calum comforting you by @honeycombcal

Surgeon!Cal blurb, second one and third from me by @cakesunflower

Stealing his clothes by @sweetcherrylu

Dad!Cal teaching his son to play bass by @paqueretteash-deactivated201905

Cheek kisses by @i-calumhood

Kids cuteness by @i-calumhood

Small kisses by @calumh-excess

Sickness and sex*** by @heartbreak-5sos

Hammock cuddles by @heartbreak-5sos

Wide awake at 1 am by @reallycalum

Hot morning by @i-calumhood

Angry sex*** by @i-calumhood

5am by @saintlaurentcalum

Morning by @cakesunflower

Moving in by @i-calumhood

Duke being protective over your bump by @singt0mecalum

Duke being a cockblock by @i-calumhood

Dad!Cal with your little girl at Disneyland by @c-sainthood

Dad!Cal with shy lil girl by @c-sainthood

Luke making Cal awkwardly confess by @etherealhood

Cal fucking you till you tear up by @flannelpunkcalum

Taking care of Cal when he’s stressed by @i-calumhood

Unrealistic scenarios by @i-calumhood

Hate fuck at college*** by @i-calumhood

Brownies and board games by @rip-lukes-balsamic

Calum confesses he wants an eternity with you by @i-calumhood

Lounging on the couch with Cal and Duke by @calpops

Brining your newborn baby girl home by @sublimehood

Dad!Cal reads to your baby by @c-sainthood

Fuck besties with Cal*** by @flannelpunkcalum

Calum leaving for tour and you’re a mess by @myloverboyash

Dad!Cal, kids and pancakes for mommy by @i-calumhood

Quickie before leaving for the party*** by @sublimehood

You’re drunk and Cal takes care of you while you confess your undying love to him by @i-calumhood

Coming home to Cal and baby sleeping by @c-sainthood

Car sex*** by @i-calumhood

Cal calling you ‘my girl’ by @calvmofficial

Cal taking you backstage from a crowd to fuck*** by @sublimehood

Duke protective over baby hood by @singt0mecalum

Baby hood playing with Duke by @singt0mecalum

Cock warming with Cal*** by @calpops

Clingy Cal by @i-calumhood

Sex with dad!Cal while kids are sleeping*** by @flannelpunkcalum

Jealous fwb Cal and hot bathroom*** by @honeyedhood

Calum wakes you up to go stargaze by @myloverboyash

Fake kisses at the coffee shop by @rip-lukes-balsamic

Talking about marriage and kids by @calpops

Saying the L-word* by @softforcal

Coming home to a sleeping y/n by @nocciolohood

Cuddly Cal by @nocciolohood

Running away from an event to eat french fries by @i-calumhood

Waking up to an empty bedside by @reallycalum and her anonymous

Waking up to a shirtless Cal by @i-calumhood

Cal cooing over his baby daughter by @i-calumhood

Cal kisses you to hide from your ex by @calpops

Sexting Calum by @calteahood

Dad!Cal and kid’s jealousy by @calpops

Dad!Cal and Easter by @i-calumhood

Giving tired Cal massage by @i-calumhood

Cal taking care of baby Hood mama by @i-calumhood

Baby Hood hears 5sos song in a shop by @babe-babylon

Dad!Cal and nightmares by @babe-babylon

Bffs to lovers by @calpops

Clenching on Cal’s tee and one more by @i-calumhood

Cal coming home to you and Duke by @calpops

Jealous Cal by @calpops

Slow sex with Cal*** and one more*** by @flannelpunkcalum

Eloping with Cal by @calpops

Cal holding his daughter for the first time by @i-calumhood

Luke

Calling Luke Buttercup by @i-calumhood

Fake dating by @c-sainthood

Breastfeeding by @i-calumhood

Riding Luke in a bus bunk by @hereforlukescruff

Blowing Luke while he’s in a suit*** by @hereforlukescruff

Post-divorce dad!Lu fluff by @calumh-excess

#writingrecs #readitbeforeyoudie #5sos #5 seconds of summer blurb #5sos smut #5sos fluff #calumhood #calum5sos #calum hood imagine #calum hood blurb #lukehemmings #luke5sos #luke hemmings blurb #luke hemmings imagine #ashtonirwin #ashton5sos #ashton irwin imagine #ashton irwin blurb #calum smut #calum fluff #ashton smut #ashton fluff #luke smut #luke fluff #dad!calum #dad!ashton #dad!luke

[heeydolan]

L A {G.D.} – Part 4

Summary: moving to LA her senior year, Y/N goes into this new journey with low exceptions. Surprisingly, the new school has tons of drama to keep her occupied from what she’s missing out on back home.

A/N: So so sooo sorry for the wait! I’ve been so busy lately. Also, sorry for any mistakes. I’m literally about to fall asleep typing this authors note. Lol. 

Warnings: talk of sex kinda idk

WC: 1.4k

masterlist 

Days turned into weeks and those weeks eventually formed into a month. A full month of Y/N being in LA and Grayson watching her date Ross from afar. Although he is still very much dating Tara, his mind has been focused more on Y/N and Ross’ relationship more than his own. 

Although they’re not an official couple, it still hurts Grayson as he feels he could’ve had her if she didn’t back out of that date with him.

He’s not picky with the time he gets with her, though. They still see each other at school, after school, and on the weekends– as a group-get-together that is.

“Dude, what’s up with you lately?” Ethan questions his brother who is completely zoned into his phone, studying the recent Instagram picture Y/N posted. “Grayson!” The older twin yells in his second attempt to get his attention.

“Wh-what?” He finally snaps out of his trance, fumbling with the device.

“What’s your deal lately?” Ethan re-asks, pretty much already knowing the answer to his own question.

“I don’t know dude I–” He cuts himself off, not wanting to say what he knows is true. Admitting it makes it real and Grayson isn’t the best at dealing with real feelings.

“You like Y/N.” Ethan confesses for him. Little does Ethan know, ‘like’ may not be the right word to describe what Grayson actually feels for Y/N.

As I walk towards my brother’s car, I’m surprised when I receive a text from an unknown number telling me to meet them in the library asap.

Considering I’m about to pass the double doors going into that part of the building, I swing a left instead of continuing straight.

“Y/N! Hey! That was quick!” Tara whisper-yells from across the large room, sitting with Sabrina.

Tara’s the one who texted me?

“What’s up?” I ask, being as friendly as possible. The last couple weeks have not been so great with Tara and I. The constant death stares she sends me per day would be quite frightening for someone who didn’t know any better.

Luckily, Holly has given me countless tips on how to avoid and overlook all of Tara’s actions and remarks.

“Look, I think we started off on the wrong foot. Why don’t we start over, be friends? Ya know, go shopping, get our nails done, talk about boys.”

All of the advice in the world from Holly couldn’t have prepared me for this. 

As confused as I am, I slowly nod my head and agree.

“Great! Then it’s settled. We’re officially besties!”

She pulls me into a weird ‘group’ hug with her and Sabrina, the two of them jumping up and down squealing. Unable to do the same because of my awkwardness, I break free of their grip and inform them I need to go meet with Jordan so I can get home.

Jordan is as confused as I am when I explain to him what had just happened. We both suspect she’s up to something fishy but can’t figure out exactly what it could be.

“It all happened so fast! And how else do you respond to someone telling you they’re your best friend now?”

“Well, Tara’s name spelled backwards is ‘A Rat’ and I sure do smell one.” My brother states.

“True.” We fist bump, clearly on the same page, as always.

As the week goes on, word of the annual homecoming party begins to spread throughout the halls of North Wood High School. Anyone who is anyone will be at this party. No sane soul will miss out.

“Great practice boys. Pack up and have a good night.” The head lacrosse coach announces as the team walks into the locker room.

Grayson gathers his belongings, giving Jordan and Ethan small nods and “mhmm’s” as he pretends to listen to what they’re talking about.

Really, he’s more focused on the conversation Ross is having with his friends.

As Ross walks past Grayson, he hears Y/N’s name brought up in the conversation. 

“Have you hit it yet?” Bart asks from across the locker room.

“Hittin’ that Saturday night at the party.” Ross thrusts his hips back and forth, pretending Y/N is positioned in front of his pelvic region.

Unsure of why Jordan hasn’t turned around and knocked Ross out yet for talking about his sister like that, Grayson realizes it’s because he has his head phones in and can’t hear him.

Instead of doing what Jordan should be doing, Grayson decides to stay put. He’s not worth possibly ruining his friendship with her and/or losing his spot on the team for fighting.

A light turns on in Grayson’s head as he realizes: Y/N’s still a virgin.

There’s no way he will let her lose it to this guy who speaks about her as if she’s a game to win.

“Tara, you really don’t have to buy me this dress and these shoes. I–”

“–Nonsense.” Tara cut’s me off, “You’re one of my besties, I’m allowed to spoil you. Plus, you have to be looking smoking hot if you’re hanging out with us at the party tonight!” 

After hanging out with her for a week, I’m beginning to think there’s no scam in this friendship she proposed to me. Holly, however, still thinks differently.

We make our way to a coffee shop, coincidentally running into Grayson and Ethan.

“Hey G bear!” Tara calls for him from across the small café.

She clings onto him like a parasite and I giggle as he nonchalantly squirms out of her grip.  

He looks up at me as I walk to join them in line. Giving me a soft smile, I return one back to him. His hazel eyes bring me into him without actually touching him– something he’s been doing for the past month.

No words are exchanged during this encounter but the smirks and what’s said through our eyes speak louder to us than any actual words ever will.

Walking into the party with Ross was a weird experience. People paid more attention to me than I expected and gave me more compliments than I’ve ever gotten in my life.

Tonight was the night. Ya know… THE night. Ross convinced me to have sex with him, informing me that it would bring us closer together as a couple.

Dancing, laughing, drinking, and gossiping about who knows what seemed to consume most of my night.

No matter how much I drink though, I can’t seem to get my mind off of Grayson. Honestly, it further intensifies my thoughts of Grayson and more or less erases the thought of Ross.

Catching his gaze from across the room, my heart flutters. Giving him a big smile instead of the small smirks we’re so used to, he takes it as a que to approach me.

“Well, hi.” I pull him into a quick hug.

“Hello beautiful.” Wow I want so badly to just pull his lips right into mine. Thankfully, I’m not drunk enough to do something that stupid.

He makes small talk, going over our inside jokes from summers past and discussing college plans.

“So uh, I kind of overheard Ross talking in the locker room the other day.” He begins after a moment of non-awkward silence.

“What’d he say?” I giggle.

“That uh- he’s uh- he said he’s gonna hit that tonight.” Unable to respond, I feel my heart sink a little, realizing now how stupid I really was to believe having sex with Ross would bring us closer as a couple.

“Listen you told me about Tara so I’m trying to do the same for you. Don’t do it, Y/N. Wait, ok?” Grayson adds.

Because of how I’m currently feeling towards Ross, I get defensive and unintentionally take it out on Grayson, “It’s not like you owe me or something. Plus, you didn’t even listen to me. So since we’re being honest, I’ll just continue to date Ross like you did Tara.”

I turn to walk away, but he catches my arm and gently spins me back to him, “Y/N, all I’m saying is don’t do that ok? Don’t give him your virginity. Wait for someone who means something to you.”

“I tried waiting, Grayson. He’s with someone else.” I sigh and turn around. This time, He doesn’t stop me so I lose myself in the crowd of people, attempting to numb the pain with alcohol.

Tags: @atlas-of-a-human-soul @agirlssfantasy @freewill-is-an-illusion

#grayson #grayson dolan #grayson dolan imagines #imagine grayson dolan #grayson dolan fanfic #grayson dolan series #grayson x reader #grayson dolan x reader #dolan twins #dolan twins imagines #imagine dolan twins #dolan twins fanfic #dolan twins series #ethan dolan #ethan #ethan dolan imagine #ethan dolan imagines #ethan dolan fanfic #ethan dolan series

[ofstoriesandstardust]

Can I pls request an imagine with Alex standall for prompt 19. “I just need a hug.” :)

A/N: I can not tell you how unbelievably excited I was to see this in my inbox! Partially because the 13 Reasons Why fandom is slowly disappearing and I’m more than happy to try and bring a little bit more life back into the fandom and partially because I didn’t expect anybody to request from my prompt list! The requests I got have been overwhelming so give me your patience while I try to write all of these! (But don’t let that stop you from requesting; I just need time!!!) Also, I think this is the longest imagine I’ve ever written???

Word Count: 2,316

Warnings: Angsttttt (but happy ending-ish), Swearing (but honestly if you watch this show is that even a warning???), Death, Underage drinking,

Not Okay

Your longtime best friend Jeff stood in the doorway of your room as he tried to persuade you to go to Jess’ end of summer party. You and Jess knew each other through a few classes and had hung out at Monets a few times,  but didn’t start to get close until you had started to date Alex Standall. Because Alex and Justin were so close, you and Jess had started to hang out a lot more in group settings and that soon blossomed into a beautiful friendship. However, a few weeks ago, you had broken up with Alex- well, technically he broke up with you. You two were going through a rough patch in your relationship and rather than stay and fight for it, he walked away. Since then, Jess had been closer to you than ever before, as she understood your pain on a personal level. Jess had already tried several times to get you to come out to this party fo hers, but you knew Alex would show up and you couldn’t face him sooner than you would have to, what with school starting in a few days. You stood next to your closet, putting away some laundry as Jeff pleaded with you to go. “Y/N, please. Leah is sick and can’t go; I can’t show up to the party alone.” Jeff complained as he leaned against your doorframe. You chuckled and continued putting clothes away.

“Yes, you can. You’re Jeff Atkins.”

“Y/N, please?” Jeff asked again with a sigh. You groaned and turned around to face him with your hands on your hips.

“Is Alex going?” You watched as his face changed as he tried to come up with an acceptable answer.

“I don’t know… maybe… probably… yes.” He finally admitted to you.

“Then I don’t want to be there.” You said, shrugging your shoulders as if it was the most simple thing in the world. He groaned and pushed himself off of your doorway and for a brief moment, you thought you had won.

“Y/N, I am so sick and tired of you sitting around here moping. Sure Alex broke up with you. But HE broke up with YOU! It’s his loss, not yours! You need to get out of this damn room and have some fun, drink a little, kiss a boy! So you’re going to that party, no excuses! Alex was not a forever thing! He’s a high school douchehole who doesn’t care about you! He walked away from you so you have no excuse to be sitting around, throwing a pity party for yourself! Get over yourself and move on!”  You stood in shock for a few minutes. Jeff was a generally kind, calm dude and you had only ever seen him angry a few times in the 16 years of friendship, and he even liked Alex.

“Douchehole isn’t a word.” You muttered and Jeff threw his hands up in the air. “Ok, ok, fine! I’ll go to the stupid party!” You grumbled.

-

An hour later, the two of you sat in Jessica’s driveway. You looked at the house in contempt; you were regretting giving in to Jeff right about now. You two walked up to the door silently and Jeff knocked. He looked over at you and sighed while you stood with your arms crossed, glaring at the door. “Hey, look, I’m sorry about yelling at you earlier. You didn’t deserve that. I should’ve been more understanding, I just can’t keep watching you beat yourself up over this because you deserve so much better.” he apologized, giving you a sincere look. You sighed and turned to him.

“Don’t be sorry. I kinda deserved it and I needed to hear it and much better you than someone else. Lord knows I’d probably only listen to you anyways.” You said, with a slight chuckle at the end.

“Are you sure?” He asked to which you nodded in response. He pulled you in for a hug and you wrapped your arms around his tall frame. “Still friends?” He asked, laughing.

“Always.” You laughed along with him. You both turned to the door as it was finally opened. Scott came into view and his smile grew when he saw the both of you. Jeff and Scott bro-hugged and Scott gave you a side hug as you walked into the Davis home. He leads you to the kitchen, where you found Zach, Justin, and Jessica.

“Look who I found!” Scott announced as you walked into the kitchen. The three cheered as they saw you. Jess was the first to run over to give you a hug, followed by Justin, then Zach.

“Didn’t think you’d make it!” Zach exclaimed and you laughed.

“It’s not a party without me and my charm, Dempsey.” Everyone laughed until you felt a pair of eyes on you. You turned around at the sight of your friend’s gazes. There stood Alex, with Clay behind him, who looked extremely uncomfortable. You locked gazes with Alex, but quickly turned away and cleared your throat. “So where’s the alcohol?” you questioned.

“Oh my God, Y/L/N, drinking??” Justin questioned, laughing. You laughed with him and playfully shoved his shoulder.

“Shove it, Foley.” He slung an arm around your shoulders, chuckling.

“Come on, it’s out back. I’ll show you.” You two made your way to the backyard and you stood awkwardly next to the keg as he poured you a drink. He handed it to you as he poured himself one. “How are you holding up?” You stared at the drink in your hand.

“I’m here, aren’t I?” You asked rhetorically, avoiding his gaze. He once again slung his arm around your shoulder, chuckling.

“And that in itself is a miracle.” He said, causing you to giggle. “Come on, drink up.”

-

Two or three hours later, you stood out on the front porch, enjoying the cool breeze and just gazing at the stars. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Alex talking to a few kids from school but you don’t think he had noticed you yet. You stood there soaking in the peace until you heard your name being called. You looked out to see Alex, who was now standing only a few feet from you. “We need to talk.” He stated harshly and you felt the eyes of the few people outside on you. You walked down the front steps.

“Fine, talk.” you said, putting your hands on your hips.

“I can’t believe you.” He seethed.

“What the hell are you talking about Alex?”

“Oh, come on, we’ve been broken up for like 2 weeks and you’ve already moved on. Please. You’re such a slut.”

“Excuse me?” You asked incredulously.

“You know, I always thought you had a thing with Jeff while we were dating but God, I mean, he has a girlfriend, (Y/N).” At this point, it became very apparent Alex was drunk.

“W-what?”

“But you know, you never needed me. You’ll just whore it up with the entire baseball team to get over me? Fine by me. Go. I don’t need a bitch like you anyway.” you stared at Alex in shock.

“Standall shut the hell up.” Jeff’s voice came from behind you and you turned to see Jeff standing with Clay on the porch and coming around from the back of the house was Zach and Justin.

“You know, you should probably tell your little bestie Jessica that you’re gonna sleep with her boyfriend. She’ll hate you really quickly. God, you’re just like Hannah. The school slut. Go whore it up with Justin; let Jessica come running back to me. I always loved her anyway. I don’t give a damn about you. I never loved you.” Ouch. that one hurt… a lot. You had always been insecure about Jess and Alex’s history, but Alex always assured you he was happier with you.

“Standall, I’m gonna kick your ass so hard…” Justin yelled as he moved toward Alex. Zach drunkenly tried to hold him back.

“Justin.. don’t.” You mumbled, voice thick with tears. You turned away from the boys and began to head down the street. God, how you just wanted to hid and never come back to this shitty ass town.

“Clay… Clay… I don’t have time for this.” You heard Jeff say and for a moment you thought to turn and wait for him but your feet kept moving, wanting to get as far away from Alex as possible. Clay said something back but you didn’t quite hear it. “Clay, I had two beers, two hours ago. I’ll be fine.” Soon enough, you heard footsteps and paused as the slightly out-of-breath Jeff came into view. “Damn, you’re a fast walker.” It was at this point that you realized you were crying. Jeff pulled you into his chest, wrapping his arms around you. You had no clue how long you stood there but Jeff held you in his arms until you could cry no more.” You slowly pulled yourself away from his embrace and wiped your eyes.

“I’m going on a beer run; do you want me to take you home on the way? I can even come over after I drop the beer off.” Jeff asked gently. You looked up at him.

“Jeff, haven’t you been drinking?” You questioned, more concerned about his safety then getting home. He sighed.

“Like I told Clay, I had two beers, two hours ago. I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?” You questioned. You had a weird feeling about all of this.

“Yes.” He insisted. “Do you want me to take you home?” You shook your head, both in response and an attempt to clear yourself of this odd feeling.

“I really just need to clear my head.” Jeff looked uncertain.

“Alright, well if you need anything call me, ok?” He said, pulling you in for another hug. You nodded, breathing his scent and shutting your eyes shut. Every red flag in your head was going off and you hugged Jeff even tighter. “I love you, (Y/N/N).”

“Love you too Jeff.” He pulled away and headed back down the street to where his car was. You watched him walk out of view and then turned back in the direction of your home. Another 20 minutes or so passed as you walked home in the silence. All of a sudden, you heard a screeching noise and then a crash. Your curiosity got the better of you and you headed towards the noise. As you approached the scene of the wreck, Clay came into view. “Clay?” You questioned as you moved towards the oh-so-familiar car, you recognized the boy sitting in the front seat. And at that moment, the sky seemed to fall in on itself.

-

And when the sun rose that morning, the news of the tragedy that had occurred in the darkness of the night came with it. It had been two weeks since that horrific night. You had felt so numb since you watched the ambulance take away Jeff’s lifeless body and the true pain of losing him hadn’t hit you, even at the funeral. You sat on your bed, mind at a blank. You heard footsteps and you looked up to see Alex. Strangely, you weren’t angry with him anymore. Jeff’s death had overridden every other little thing, including what Alex had said that night. “Look, (Y/N), I am so incredibly sorry. I was drunk and I didn’t mean a word I said. I didn’t even know what I said until Scott told me the next morning. I was so scared that you’d move on, that you’d see me the way I see myself and I just got so terrified that I left you before you could hurt me. But I never meant to hurt you and I feel so awful that I did. But I’m going to be here for you through this in any way that I possibly can if you’ll let me.” Alex spoke and you looked at him for a brief moment.

“I just need a hug.” You said, standing up. Alex moved towards you to bring him into his arms and at that moment, the grief of losing your best friend since birth hit you full force. You let go of everything as Alex held you close. The concept of time seemed to slip away as you grieved. Alex held you through every heart-wrenching moment. Even after you had stopped crying, Alex continued to hold you as you listened to the comforting rhythm of his heartbeat. The more you thought about that night, the more you realized that it could’ve been you. If you had agreed to let Jeff take you home, it could’ve your lifeless body Clay found. It could’ve been your funeral Jeff attended. And in all of this, you had realized that you were no longer angry with Alex. You just wanted to be with him; you couldn’t lose him too.

“(Y/N), I am so sorry. About everything, About what I said, about Jeff, I just…” He mumbled into your hair but you stopped him from getting very far.

“Alex, it’s ok.” You said, even though you knew that was the farthest from the truth.

“No, it’s not. It’s not ok. Nothing is ok.” Alex said, pulling out of the hug and looking you dead in the eye.

“You’re right, nothing is ok. But you don’t need to keep apologizing for what happened. It could’ve been me instead of Jeff that night and I can’t keep living like I don’t still love you. And I need you more than ever right now.” You said, and you began to feel yourself tremble at the weight of everything.

“Ok.” Alex whispered, pulling you close again. “Ok. I’m gonna be here until you’re ok again, no matter how long that takes. I promise.”

#13 reasons why imagines #13 reasons why imagine #13 reasons why #alex standall imagines #alex standall imagine #alex standall

[alexwinfield-blog1]

Digital Footprints: Put YOUR stamp on it.

It’s Monday morning. A new day. Another week of school. You turn off your alarm and head straight over to Twitter. “Monday already !!!!!!! (Crying emoji X10) Can’t w8 to get back into bed”. Your phone pings. It’s Lizzie. Your BFF. She never lets you down. Except not today it seems. “Soz bbe. Sooooo ill. Grab any hw sheets for me plzzzz (blowing kiss emoji) xxxx”. Mum shouts up the stairs “Are you getting up at any point today? The dog needs walking and you need to take your brother to school!” You slam your phone into the duvet, roll your eyes and take a deep breath. You’re annoyed and the day has only just begun. Toast in one hand and dragging your brother out the door by the other, you smile at the postman. “Morning”, you say. Knowing full well he loses your packages ALL THE TIME.  Be nice mum always tells you. Manners cost nothing.

You get to school. The mean girls stare you down as you walk to your English lesson. You try to look cool. You tell yourself that one day they’ll take you in as one of their own, but maybe today just isn’t that day. You find your seat, unpack your books, your pencil case, tucking your phone under your hideous plaid skirt. Silly really. Illuminating skirts aren’t exactly the school uniform market’s latest innovation. You’re top of your class. You know you shouldn’t be scrolling through Instagram in a lesson, but everyone else does, and you for sure don’t want to stick out any more than what you already do. You get A’s in nearly every assignment and you compete in nearly every extra-curriculum sport in the school, but you can’t help but fantasise about that Instagram #gymbod. Your parents are immensely proud, and your teachers? You can’t do enough to please them. You love school. Never too shy to raise your hand in class, never too eager to stand in front of the WHOLE of year 11 to deliver a speech about the school’s litter policy, and never too embarrassed to admit to your friends that you’ve not even kissed a boy.

It’s lunchtime. You and your best friends of 12 years gather around the canteen table.They tell you about their exciting weekends. How their heart throb boyfriends distracted them from getting any work done. How they got ridiculously drunk at a family party and how their mum grounded them for coming home at 10:33 – 3 minutes later than expected. And you? You just listen. For the most part, you spend your break and lunch times talking in the hockey team WhatsApp group chat. They’re a laugh. Sometimes you tell the girls about your boring weekend, or even fluff it up slightly by telling them you actually got out of your pyjamas. They would never believe you. You’re well and truly the plain Jane out of the bunch. The new boy in your year asks if the seat next to you is taken. The girls think he’s a nerd but you think he’s quite cute. You say no. The girls sigh as if to say “you’re such a loser”, but you don’t care. You have to pretend you don’t know his name, that you don’t have an unhealthy obsession with checking his Facebook. You know his cat goes by the name of Clive, but you pretend you don’t know that. You know he plays for the local rugby team, but you’re not supposed to know that either. You don’t know that his birthday is the 6th of June, and most importantly, you must NOT show any bitterness towards his girlfriend of 3 years.

Home time at last. You’re loosening your tie as you get closer to the front door, eager to jump straight back into bed. PING. It’s the girls group chat. “House (girl dancing emoji) Sat nite. 8.30. B there or b (square emoji)”. NOOO. You promised mum you’d have a film night with her. Saturday night rolls around. You’ve been plotting all week how you could get away with this one, but she’s a mum. They find out everything. Not this time. You divert from the party situation. It’s now a revision sleepover situation with the girls. You ask to go and of course you’re allowed. School first, partying second. It’s 10pm. You’re having the best time but you assured mum updates on the revision sesh. So, as promised, you load up Instagram stories. On your second Instagram account, obviously. By second, you mean the only Instagram account your mum thinks exists, right? You locate the photo album named “revision”. You browse this until you find the most colourful, most mind-map-ful, most hard working-esque photo you can find. And voila! A little later, in comes a text from mum. “Wonderful stuff. Looks like you’re really working hard. See you in the morning :)” . Little does she know, over on what might as well scream @yourerliar101, several stories and photos were posted of your amazing night with your besties. In the morning it seems the party was a huge success. Tweets and Instagrams raving about the night – “Can���t believe Josh taught every1 to do the (worm emoji) (cry laughing emoji)”. “Had the best nite EVAAAAAA (tongue out emoji)”. “Me and the gals last night!!!!!!! (cocktail emoji) (heart eye emoji) #lovethem”.

Sound familiar? Well, this may not be too dissimilar to a day in the life of your late teenage years. (Millennials, this one is for you!) Through this artificial account, we learn that in just 24 hours, you are likely to perform a variety of different roles. You’re a reliable friend and a caring sibling. You’re also studious, a potential lover and occasionally a liar. But sometimes it’s for the best, right? So, quite literally, how can these personalities become transparent online?

Just like this teenager, the average social media user, whatever you may define this to be, can be traced online. Social media can speak volumes about a person. Not just what they get up to on the weekend, but the finer details. For example, they’re obsession with their house rabbits, how much they can’t stand their boss, and more recently, how they’ve jumped on-board Facebook’s latest bandwagon, “rate my meal”. 

Social media, such as Instagram and Twitter allow me to present the most favourable, or sometimes least favourable, versions of myself.  If you were to rewind to old school Alex on Twitter, you would definitely find tweets containing homophones, such as “u”, with my favourite acronym, still to this day, being “lol” – only used sarcastically of course. As well as this, I was a sucker for, and admittedly still am, a cluster of exaggerated punctuation, but mostly “!!!!!!!”.  Although Crystal (2008) claims that young users of social media, especially in SMS, will use abbreviations such as “GTGMIW” (Got to go, mum is watching), this wasn’t necessarily the case when I was growing up with social media. Nowadays, it’s all about filtering what you put online. This screening allows you to hide your online activity, for example by disguising your wild Friday night shenanigans by deselecting your mum from viewing your Snapchat story. Or, creating a separate Instagram just for your friends’ entertainment. You can be as embarrassing as you like and you won’t have 800 followers judging you.

Goffman (1974) refers to this online social interaction as “audience segregation”. We ultimately filter aspects of our lives from certain people in order to curate and maintain a multitude of personalities depending on the context we are in. So, for me, this means presenting a sensible, family-friendly Alex on Facebook, an interesting and good-humoured Alex on Twitter, and an exciting, adventurous Alex on Instagram. Let’s take a look…

So, 2017 A-Level Results day. Here, we’ve got a definite exaggerated use of punctuation and excitable capitalisation. Not only this, I clearly thought the use of the extreme smiley emoji X2 wasn’t enough, resulting in going the extra mile with a #. What am I doing here? Looking back on this, this for sure could have been Facebook worthy. This could have bagged me a gushing army of comments from overjoyed family members bursting with pride. But why Twitter? My friends would see this. People I know, but don’t really know, would see this. Those 23 likes - those 23 people thought this was worthy of a tweet and that’s all that mattered. In this moment, I. Was. Clever.

Evidently, over the years, I desired to either be desperately funny or desperately embarrassing. You decide this one.

Would I have found any of these tweets to be bland if I weren’t to use homophones? Or exaggerated punctuation? Or hashtags? Were these attempts for me to moan about how busy my life was? Did I want sympathy or just someone to relate to?

Here’s Instagram Alex. Holidaying in the Dominican Republic, Lanzarote and Greece. Eating Wagamamas at least once a week. Being overly obsessed with a French Bulldog, attending fancy-dress parties and the occasional festival. This is what I choose to share online. Not very exciting, but a fairly accurate representation of me. You can guarantee nearly every other caption incorporates an excessive use of emoticons, sarcasm and most definitely a little too much of this “!!!!!”.

What do these linguistic features allow me to achieve?

If I asked a complete stranger to read my Twitter, browse my Facebook and scroll through my Instagram, they would probably argue that my presence across these social media platforms doesn’t really differ that greatly. You could say that for the most part, I present the most authentic version of myself online. I’m not one to shy away from no-make up selfies, or tell the world about how groggy I feel after waking up from that 3- hour nap, or in fact how much I moan about going to my 20 hours a week part-time kitchen job.

However, for some people, this is not the case. Without audience segregation there would be a context collapse. Employees would start saying “lmao” when their boss asks for a coffee. Students would use inappropriate emoticons to sign of their “sorry I can’t make it to the lecture today, I’m ill” email. Parents would text, or even worse, tag you in their FB status announcing “#DINNERISREADY” instead of actually calling you down for dinner, and we definitely don’t want to live in a world full of parents who hashtag EVERYTHING.

So, what can we learn from this?

For both professional and personal matters, it’s important to present yourself online in a way that is consistent. You don’t want people to think you have 25 different personalities. Keep this for the real-life stuff. No one likes a catfish. After all, if 70% of employers screen candidates’ social media before they consider hiring, it’s important to avoid branding yourself as a fool online. Keep those drunken night out videos OFFLINE and maybe consider deleting those 2012 “Like for a rate <3” cringey Facebook statuses. However, don’t go erasing yourself offline completely in fear that you’ll never get a decent job. After all, 47% of employers argue that having an online presence allows them to learn a bit about who they’re hiring. So, be open, but not TOO open. Be YOU. However, if “you” means writing Facebook statuses about how much you love playing Angry Birds at work, or how you’re easily persuaded to go clubbing on a Monday night, maybe it’s best you don’t share the real you online. Be mindful about the digital footprint trail you’re leaving behind. 

References:

Driver, S. (2018, October, 7). Keep It Clean: Social Media Screenings Gain In Popularity. Retrieved from: https://www.businessnewsdaily.com/2377-social-media-hiring.html

Jones, R. H., & Hafner. C. A. (2012). Undersatnding Digital Literacies. London: Routledge.

#week5

[drunklander]

A-Z

Got tagged by @sassenachwaffles!

A // age - 31

B // birthplace - The same Boston suburb as my dad and my papa...

C // current time - 7:01 p.m.

D // drink you last had - Green Tea

E // easiest person to talk to - My irl bestie, @sileas84 and my therapist (only because I know I can say anything in an appointment and there’s no judgment, because that’s their job).

F // favorite songs (currently) - Podcasts have sort of taken over my life so I’m woefully out of touch on new music...

G // grossest memory - Hmmm... Not sure. Maybe something drunk!puke-related from college or this weird, gross purple blister-y thing on my thumb when I was a kid that popped and had all this weird orange-y stuff in it.

H // horror yes or no - NOOOOO! I am a massive scaredy cat. Like Hocus Pocus was too scary for me.

I // in love - With someone else? No. Working on being able to love myself at the moment, haha.

J // jealous of people - Not usually, but when I catch myself being jealous, I try to correct that.

K // kids - No. Not sure if I eventually want any, tbh. I like babysitting other people’s kids though.

L // love at first sight or walk by again - You can lust at first sight but love is based on more than just a quick glance.

M // middle name - Kristin

N // number of siblings - 1

O // one wish - To be happy.

P // person you last called - I don’t call friends so it was someone at work.

R // random fact about you - Sometimes when I’m drunk I go into full on hostess mode. Like even if I’m not the one hosting the party. I just start asking people if I can get them anything or like cleaning up.

Q // question you always get asked - How do you say your last name? 

S // song you last sang - Didn’t sing it, but the last song I listened to was Land of the Free by The Killers on the way to the march today.

T // time you woke up - 8:00 a.m.

U // underwear color - Dark Purple

V // vacation destination - I don’t really take vacations except Dragon Con in ATL.

W // worst habit - Drinking, I guess. Or always taking on more stuff at work because I don’t like saying no to people.

X // x-ray - I got dental ones done the other week. I think I’ve gotten real ones done at some point but I can’t remember what for...

Y // your favorite food - Burgers, pizza, sushi, basically any kind of pasta...

Z // zodiac sign - Scorpio 

Haven’t been on really today so I’m not sure who’s already been tagged...

#* #personal #dear der