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pipthebadger-blog · 1 year

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The Crimew Email Leaks: My Notes on the First 100 Pages

So, all of these are unedited notes of my first 100 pages of the Crimew Email leaks. For those unfamiliar, the Crimew Email Leaks are leaks of emails from Republican lawmakers across the country who are pushing anti-trans bills. Quick notes before we begin. First, I am somewhere between gay and bisexual, but I am not trans myself. Second, my notes aren't going to focus too much on the fact that the republicans use detestable language to talk about queer people behind closed doors. Frankly, we already know that because they do it in public too. In my opinion, it's more beneficial to point out the political horse-trading and message-crafting that happens behind the scenes to make these kinds of fascist bills pass. With that said, here are the rough notes.

(LIST OF KEY PLAYERS:

-REP JULIANNE YOUNG (R, IDAHO)

-SOCIETY FOR EVIDENCE BASED GENDER MEDICINE, A CONSERVATIVE THINK TANK OF BOUGHT MEDICAL PRACTITIONERS.

-AMERICAN COLLEGE OF PEDIATRICIANS, A SMALL SPLINTER GROUP OF LICENSED PEDIATRICIANS WHO ARE AGAINST GENDER TREATMENT IN CHILDREN, DESPITE THE FINDINGS OF THE LARGER PEDIATRIC COMMUNITY

-WOMENS LIBERATION FRONT (WOLF), TERFS

-THE KELSEY COALITION, A HATE GROUP DISGUISED AS PARENTING ADVICE FOR PARENTS OF TRANS CHILDREN. ANTI-TRANS. -THE EAGLE FORUM, A LEGAL HARASSMENT GROUP ORIGINALLY CREATED TO OPPOSE THE EQUAL RIGHTS AMENDMENT OF 1972. NOW ASTROTURFS ON CULTURE WAR ISSUES. END KEY PLAYERS) -They're gameplanning the wording of bills very carefully, and are generally very conscious of optics throughout (see Email pg 12).

-A lack of understanding/education among “moderates” is key to the trick of oppression (Email pg 14, “Not a single legislator I’ve spoken with so far has a clue about what’s happening with transgender advocacy nor affirmative therapy. All of this is new to them," phrased in a context that implies that this lack of information gives the Republican extreme maneuvering room). The fact that they know this is telling, and it comes up later.

-Role christianity has to play in the radicalization (Email pg 17, from Margaret Clarke of the Eagle Forum, a group originally created to oppose the Equal Rights Amendment of 1972) -Using WOLF for feminist cover (Email pg 19)

-Use of Detransitioner Amicus Brief (argument is trying to allow businesses to discriminate against trans people by claiming the following: Gender = Sex, Sex = “reality,” “you can’t force people to accept a denial of reality”. Never mind the massive complexities of primary & secondary sex characteristics, the many documented cases of people with one set of sex chromosomes with primary & secondary sex characteristics that do not match, & the fact that allowing kids to try social transitioning before they’re eligible for surgical change will actually prevent people from rushing into being trans by letting them try non-permanent gender experimentation that is reversible, thereby reducing the amount of detransitioners) -Citing “fact checking of American Association of Pediatrics (AAP)” but only really coming up with the fact that articles from the very early days of trans conscious study used sources that weren’t specifically related to trans identity, but Gay and Lesbian identity instead. As if they wouldn’t fucking string gays and lesbians up by a tree if they had the fucking chance, and as if torturing trans people back into the closet is going to magically fix that too, somehow (Email pg 21) -Throwing out gender identity research because it was written by Trans people. Because they don’t understand the concept that people sometimes work on things that are very close and personally affecting to them. (pg 24) -All above points are referencing the “Vulnerable Child Protection Act” - “We will need to respond to the Suicidal Thoughts quote, who’s the best on our team?” (pg. 29) Specifically referring to the statistic that gender affirmation by family in trans youth drops their fucking rate of suicidal thoughts by 52% and suicidal actions by 48%. So, yes, the right knows exactly what they’re doing. -Lawmakers are “pissed” at having to hear from actual trans people and their lived experiences (no surprise, lawmakers aren’t people) (also, pg 36) -Citation of a “Daily Signal” article saying that “surgeon admits that nobody truly transitions.” What the article actually provides is a transition surgery doctor’s physical examination of a trans woman which marks that, yeah, sure, certain physical secondary sex characteristics did not, in fact, change, because she was fucking born with them. But no trans person I've talked to ever denies the fact that certain biological secondary sex characteristics will survive the transition, they all acknowledge that and it isn’t much of a problem because secondary sex characteristics are already not a black and white issue. (pg 36) -An admission that, ultimately, they want to stop all transitioning, regardless of social/medical/adult/adolescent on pg 37 (also some generally concerning language, but that’s a given with republicans). -Failure to understand that children (in the relation sense, not the age sense) have their own agency at some point and deserve to make their own decisions, page 39.

-Reference to christianity being their main driving force on 41.

-Republicans ACTIVELY removing “expert” testimony that is prejudicial to their anti-trans bills from their findings. Not passively, actively. As in they saw it, literally said “this makes us look bad,” and struck it from the record. (43) The “expert” was SEGM, an anti-trans farce of an agency, and even THEY said that “the society of evidence-based gender medicine has declared that the conflation of sex and gender in health care is alarming, subjects hundreds of thousands of individuals to the risk of unintended medical harm, and will greatly impede medical research.” This is their anti-trans farce agency, seeing the evidence, acknowledging the evidence, and then ignoring the evidence because they want to do damage.

-Arguing about using the word Cisgender in the SEGM’s findings because it “lends an air of credence to gender research” (46) -Evidence of collusion w/ Child & Parental Rights Campaign, a legal harassment front (79) demonstrating a direct effort from republican senators to provide aid and comfort to the legal harassment of trans constituents. Not a surprise, if we're being honest.

- “the society of evidence-based gender medicine has declared that the conflation of sex and gender in health care is alarming, subjects hundreds of thousands of individuals to the risk of unintended medical harm, and will greatly impede medical research.” Remember this line from earlier? Well, the lawmakers (not the SEGM) decided to amend it to “the erasure of biological sex negatively impacts the health and safety of all individuals,” which is the opposite of the original quote. The quote was changed by Julianne Young, a woman who is not a medical expert of any kind, but instead, an Idaho state rep. Republican, obviously.

-Page 86, on Feb 4 2020, Julianne Young talks about INSERTING IDEOLOGICAL LINES INTO THE FUCKING CENSUS CODE IN ORDER TO JUSTIFY THEIR POINTS IN A LATER PLANNED DEBATE ABOUT TRANS RIGHTS. All of the points she adds (highlighted in red on the page,) mention some strain of ideological instead of statistical interest. Also, god help them, they cannot get over the appeal of using segregation terminology like “separate but equal” because they just HAVE to let the mask slip off sometimes. -ACP’s leader, Michelle Cretella, calls herself “techtarded” on page 91, which is an interesting choice of language in a professional setting. -“embrace reality and christ” on page 91 is fucking comedy gold.

-GIRL or “Gender is Real Legislative Act,” using language to wrap fascism in feminism (not an uncommon tactic). They're using a similar tactic with Women's Liberation Front, or "WOLF," which is just a TERF organization.

-Discussion of fabricating information in briefing papers to state legislators in order to sway votes on page 92. Specifically claiming that inconsistent legal/historical definitions of gender bolsters their argument (somehow?)

-Robert Sullivan, esq, discussing how his faith plays a role in his anti-trans crusade. Most interestingly, if you swap “Christ” and “Christian” terms with “Allah” then it would sound like it was written by the fucking Taliban (98-99)

-Kaiser Permanente study is cited by Dr. Mirriam Grossman, a bought rag for the Republicans, and she specifically heard it from the Society of Catholic Social Scientists. A longitudinal study found that, basically, youth diagnosed with gender dysphoria were often comorbid with other mental health issues before their diagnosis, which, yeah, no shit, being vilified by society will tend to do that to a motherfucker. Plus, I think that non-queer people who are on average far more repressive and image-conscious are just more hesitant to get diagnoses about mental health issues in general, which definitely skews the stats. But, there are other things here that are important to note: 1, this study is being misrepresented to paint trans identity as “a malformation” in that creepy, eugenicist feeling way. 2, full on tinfoil hat speculation, but I’m convinced that Kaiser Permanente shared this information with the republican party (albeit indirectly) in order to use the culture wars as a cudgel to legally cut costs by denying medical coverage to trans people, which, sans anti-trans legislation, could be prosecuted as discrimination. (100).

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snelbz · 3 years

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Life As We Know It {Chapter 9}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays and Thursdays. Chapters will be posted on both my and Shelby’s blogs! >> @snelbz

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

A/N: SURPRISE. Enjoy this chapter a day early. I had my days wrong and legit thought it was Thursday, but since it was ready…. Y’all get to enjoy the spoils of my frazzled brain. 😘

Nesta waited with Nyx in the waiting room of the pediatric office.

His rash didn’t seem to be bothering him much, but she wanted to get ahead of it before it became a problem. He was absolutely enamored with the TV playing a bright children’s show in the corner, and Nesta couldn’t help but smile down at him as she checked her email.

The usual stuff greeted her, some open catering order invoices for the restaurant, a few wayward resumes from high school kids that had managed to get her personal email, and, of course, spam.

“Nyx?”

Nesta’s head shot up, and Nyx began looking around, wondering who had called his name. Nesta was instantly on her feet, pushing Nyx’s stroller toward the door that the nurse held open.

She smiled. “Hello, Nyx.”

Nyx babbled in greeting.

The nurse chuckled. “Such a cute little guy. You’re Nesta, I assume?”

“I am,” Nesta confirmed. “I’ve not been here before. It’s a nice office.”

The small talk went on. Nesta had never been a fan of small talk, of polite pleasantries.

It just made her feel awkward.

Nyx didn’t seem to mind. He just kept babbling and babbling and babbling, without a care in the world.

The nurse led them into a room and she checked Nyx’s height and weight before telling them that the doctor would be there shortly.

Nesta had picked Nyx up, looking around at all the educational posters on the walls, when a quick knock sounded on the door and a man cracked open the door.

Nesta blinked once as he stepped inside, not expecting the tall, muscled man that appeared in front of her.

“You must be Nesta,” he said, extending his hand. “I’m Dr. Kamaras.”

This man was Nyx’s pediatrician? She had known that Nyx’s doctor was male, Feyre had mentioned him in some stories a few times, but Nesta had always pictured an elderly man.

Not this sculpted, handsome man, who could easily graced the cover of one of the ridiculous smutty books she kept well hidden in her bedroom.

She shook his hand, finally remembering how to speak. “Yes, I am, it’s nice to meet you.”

Very nice to meet you, she added in her head.

His face sombered. “I was very sorry to hear about Rhys and Feyre. They were great people.”

And just like that, Nesta was back on earth, holding her sister’s son in her arms, standing where her sister should have been. She tried to keep her smiling from dimming, but she cleared her throat. “Thank you. It’s…been an adjustment.”

As if they both remembered why they were here, Dr. Karamas blinked and said, “Yes, Nyx, right. You told the nurse he has a rash of some sort?”

“It’s just a diaper rash but it seems to be getting infected,” Nesta explained. “I’ve tried a few different things but nothing seems to be working.”

“Ah,” he said, nodding. “Well, let’s take a look.”

Dr. Karamas took one glance and whistled. “Definitely infected. I’m going to give you a steroid cream. Put it on after every diaper change. It should clear up within the week.”

Nesta let loose a breath. “Oh, great, thank you.”

“Absolutely,” he smiled.

He had a nice smile.

He scribbled something down on his clipboard, signed it, and handed it to Nesta. “The number on the bottom is my office number. If you have any other concerns, no matter how small, give it a call.”

Nesta looked at Nyx’s prescription and the number that was beneath it, along with his name.

Balthazar Karamas.

“Thank you, Dr. Karamas,” Nesta said, and she meant it. She was still new at this, and every little medical thing concerned her.

If it wasn’t normal, she was freaking the fuck out.

“Bal, please,” he said, taking her hand again, shaking it. At the look on her face, he added, “I work with kids. They do better on a familiar name basis than with titles like doctor and mister.”

She nodded, smiling. “Bal, then.”

Nesta was getting Nyx resituated in his stroller in the waiting room, about to head back out into the bright sunlight, when she felt someone approach. She wasn’t expecting to find Balthazar standing a few feet away. She quickly checked the stroller, making sure she had her purse, the diaper bag, and, of course, Nyx himself. “Did I forget something?” She asked, finding everything exactly where it was supposed to be.

“No, no, it’s not that,” he said, pausing in front of her. “I just…can’t shake the feeling that I know you from somewhere.”

It was strange, since Nesta felt the same way.

“You’re not Illyrian,” he said, and it wasn’t a question, nor was it rude. Just an assumption. She only knew of a few other Illyrians in the area, and Balthazar definitely had the same coloring as Cassian and Az. And Rhys used to have. She, pale skinned and blue eyed, certainly did not.

“I’m not,” she said, at last.

Bal chuckled.

That smile, yet again, had her toes curling.

“Interesting,” he said, that smile remaining. “Well, maybe we can figure out just where we’ve run into each other before...over lunch this weekend?”

Nesta blinked. A date?

“Not a date,” he said, quickly, reading her mind. “I would never ask the aunt of my patient on a date. That would be incredibly unprofessional.” Nesta laughed. “Just…two acquaintances figuring out where they were previously acquainted.”

“Lunch sounds nice,” Nesta said, unable to shake her own smile. “Saturday, then?”

“Saturday,” Bal agreed.

They set up a time and place and then Nesta was out the door.

Cassian’s day had been as long as it was the day before. It seemed that the teenagers visiting Velaris had gotten the message from their friends that Cassian’s bar was checking every single ID of every single drink that was ordered. So instead of being slammed and busy and frustrated the whole day, he had been bored out of his mind.

He’d gone through his inventory sheets twice, ordering anything they might remotely run out of in the next few weeks.

It didn’t help that Kallias had the day off, covering the evening shift tonight, leaving him alone with his thoughts all day.

And those thoughts constantly reminded him that he’d been an absolute dick to Nesta the night before.

As he drove home, he contemplated the apology he needed to make.

Although Cassian believed his intentions were typically good, apologizing wasn’t one of his strengths. He ran through what he’d say a hundred times, had come up with an unbearable amount of ways in which he could apologize, but everything he thought of wasn’t good enough.

He knew Nesta well enough to know when she would laugh in his face.

He’d come up with about fifteen different scenarios of how this could go by the time he pulled into the driveway, parking next to her little car. He took a deep breath before unlocking the front door and letting himself in.

The house was quiet, neither Nesta or Nyx were anywhere to be found. It was barely six-thirty, but he knew Nesta was taking Nyx to the doctor earlier in the day, which may have tired him out so thoroughly that he was already down for the night. A peek into his cracked bedroom door confirmed it, his little hand curled next his face as he slept.

When he finally tracked down Nesta, on the back patio, her feet propped up in a lounge chair, he definitely hadn’t expected to find her with a bottle of wine. Or what was left of it, at least.

The mostly empty bottle of wine sat next to the baby monitor.

He cleared his throat, announcing his presence.

Nesta’s sigh was the only acknowledgement she showed.

“Everything alright?” He asked.

She shrugged and took a sip from her glass.

“Bad day?” He continued.

She shrugged again.

“Is this the silent treatment?” He asked.

“I assume you’d know,” she said.

Cassian began rubbing his temples. “Look, Nesta-.”

“I’m a little busy if you don’t mind,” she continued. “I prefer to relax alone.”

“This is my house, too,” he said, shutting the sliding door behind him as he made his way onto the patio. “What if I want to sit out here with you?”

“Then I’d suggest continuing the silence,” she said, not looking at him, her face tilting back up to the sky, where it had been when he’d come outside.

So he sat down on a nearby lounge chair, and didn’t say a word.

Or he tried, but he didn’t last five minutes. The words that had building inside him all day needed to come out. He’d rehearsed different things he wanted to say, with reasons for why he was such an asshole, and promises to try and be better from now on. But as he looked over at her, the starlight on her face, all he could get out was, “I’m sorry.”

For a moment, Nesta said nothing. “About?”

“The way I acted last night,” he replied, keeping his eyes on the lawn. “It was uncalled for, and I’m sorry.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she said, draining her glass.

Cassian’s eyes shot her direction. “I’m trying to apologize. You can at least accept my apology so we can move on.”

“Apologies mean nothing,” Nesta said, shrugging. “Words are meaningless.”

“Not mine,” Cassian argued. “I mean what I say.”

“Then you meant what you said last night?” Nesta pushed.

Cassian’s lips snapped shut and his jaw hardened. “No.”

“So, you’re a liar, then?” Nesta asked.

He groaned in frustration. “You’re infuriating.”

She didn’t deign to reply to that.

He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry I was an asshole last night. I was…embarrassed about how you found me the night before. I don’t… I don’t like to be seen like that.” He paused, but then he held a hand out in between them. “Not- not that that happens often. I mean, I don’t make a habit of having emotional breakdowns.”

She didn’t say anything. Just stared at him.

He cleared his throat again, remembering little things he had felt badly about through the day. “Nesta, I’m sorry I acted like an ass. I’m sorry I didn’t appreciate the dinner you made me. I was rude as hell and you did nothing to deserve it.”

After a second, she glanced away, out over the pool. He figured she wasn’t going to reply, and he stood, heading back for the back door.

He had slid the door open and was halfway inside when she said, “If you’re hungry, I made lasagna for dinner. It should still be warm on the stove.”

He turned back and found a hint of a smile on her face. “Thanks, Nes.”

A continuation of his apology, Cassian had told Nesta he'd be on baby duty for the rest of the night, waking Nyx up for his bottle, granting her leave to do whatever she wanted. She elected to finish off the bottle of wine, open another, and relax in the bathtub with a book.

The book of choice was definitely not appropriate to read in front of Nyx.

Or Cassian, for that matter.

She had appreciated his apology, even though a part of her still wanted to be pissed. There were very few things that agitated her more than male bravado, and Cassian was the spitting image of it. Embarrassed because he was emotional? Please. Get the fuck over it.

Then again, she could say that all day, but in honesty, if the positions were reversed, she would have reacted very, very similarly.

If not worse.

Nesta had always felt too much, far more than either of her sisters. It wasn’t like they were robots, of course. Elain had a bigger heart than anyone Nesta had ever known, and Feyre had been a light to be around.

But, Nesta…

She felt it all, and she felt it far too deeply. She had learned long ago to shut those emotions off, to let them go, to not let her emotions show. They could just be used as a weakness.

And she found life worked better that way.

There was a soft knock on the bathroom door.

Nesta sat up straight, even though the door was locked, in a sudden panic over the fact that she was nude and reading smut.

“Yeah?”

“Nyx is going to bed,” he said. “Just thought you’d want to say goodnight.”

“I- Ah- Just a minute,” she called, setting the book down and reaching down to grab for her towel. She was out and damn near opened the door in just her towel again, but remembered their agreed upon rules. She snatched her robe, wrapping it around herself, towel and all.

She opened the door, Cassian standing just by her bed, and Nyx had his head resting on his shoulder, rubbing his little eyes.

The image was so pure and innocent that Nesta couldn’t stop herself from taking a few steps towards them, reaching out to brush her fingers down Nyx’s soft cheek. “Sweet dreams, buddy,” she breathed, leaning up to press a kiss to his forehead.

She regretted it almost immediately, as bringing herself that close in Nyx also inadvertently brought her to Cassian. His heady, nutmeg-and-campfire scent enveloping her, reminding her of the morning she’d come downstairs and found him as naked as she was now. She stepped back quickly, clearing her throat. “And goodnight to you, Cassian,” she murmured. She pointed back behind her towards the bathtub, towards her book, and said, “I’m going to read a little longer and then go to bed myself.”

He nodded. “Alright, I’ll see you in the morning. Goodnight, Nes.”

The nickname didn’t bother her as much as it previously had, she realized as he made his way back out of her room, shutting the door behind him.

She didn’t let herself think about that, did her best not to think about him, as she sunk back into the warm water.

Nyx had gone down easily for Cassian, for the first time ever, thanks to the frozen toy he’d gnawed on to relieve the pain of his incoming tooth. He’d decided he deserved a treat, too, after that, and had sat down to watch the hockey game, a beer in hand.

Fifteen minutes later, there was a knock at the front door.

Cassian paused, glancing down at his watch, seeing that it was pushing nine o’clock. He stood, after a second knock sounded, making his way to the door. He opened it to find a woman dressed in a suit on the other side. “Can I help you?”

“Mr. Nazari, I assume?” She asked, extending her hand.

He took it, on instinct, shaking it, but he blinked. He repeated, “Yeah… Can I help you?”

Her brows twitched together. “My name is Alis Birch. I’m with social services.”

Cassian continued to shake her hand, staring.

“The courts told you we’d be making random visits to check in on Nyx,” she continued.

Oh, fuck, Cassian thought. Oh, fucking hell.

They’d completely forgotten about those random visits, in the past few weeks they’d been doing this, distracted by getting used to not only being parents, but getting used to each other as well.

“I see,” Cassian said, nodding. “I… I’ll…be right back.”

“I’d like to come in-.”

Cassian shut the door, quickly set his beer on the table in the entryway, and hauled ass upstairs.

He threw open the door to Nesta’s bedroom, only to found it empty, so he continued on, throwing open the bathroom door.

Where Nesta was still in the tub, completely nude, a book in hand, one hand disappeared beneath the water. Her head was thrown back in utter ecstasy.

Until Cassian barged in, anyway.

“Shit!” he yelled, just as Nesta gasped and sent the water sloshing out of the tub, over the porcelain edges.

Cassian quickly shut the door behind him, closing them into the bathroom together, and put his face in his hands. “Sorry!”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” she yelled, and he could hear her pulling the plug.

“It’s important, I swear,” he said, his voice muffled by his hands.

“If the house isn’t on fire or Nyx isn’t dying, it’s not important,” she cried, ducking behind the walls of the tub.

“It’s pretty fucking important,” he said, turning to give her a semblance of privacy. He heard her stand up, water moving and quiet dripping, before her feet landed on the rug outside the tub. “The social worker is here.”

She froze and he dared a look back at her. Thankfully, she was wrapped in her towel again, one arm pushed through her robe. “The social worker is here? Now?” He nodded, and she looked at the nearly empty bottle of wine next to the glass on the small table by the tub. It was the second one she’d had that night. “But it’s late,” she protested.

“It’s a random, surprise visit,” he replied. “I left her outside, but-.”

“You didn’t let her in?” Nesta demanded, eyes widening. “Cauldron, Cass, that makes us look so guilty.”

He blinked. “Of what?”

“I don’t know,” she said, throwing her hands in the air. “But it doesn’t make us look good.”

“Well, I didn’t know what to do,” he sighed, exasperatedly. “I sure as hell wasn’t expecting to come up here and find you doing that.” He gestured to the tub.

Nesta’s cheeks heated. He figured his own were going to permanently be the shade of red they were now.

No, that was the last thing he ever expected to catch Nesta doing.

“Just… Go let her in and stall her while I get dressed,” she sighed, crossing her arms, waiting for him to leave.

Cassian hesitated, then nodded, and hurried back down the stairs. When he reopened the front door, Alis Birch stood there. Her expression was hard, intimidating.

Cassian could feel himself sweat.

He prayed that Nesta somehow sobered up and got the fuck downstairs, because there was no way in hell he could do this without her.

#snacmc lawki #life as we know it #nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acosf #snelbz tacmc collab #snacmc

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sweetsubharry · 3 years

Note

hi! do you have any fic recs of like really fluffy one shots

Hiya!! yes I do!! Aren’t they just the best sometimes?? Sorry this took me a few days to do! I had over 260 fics to go through on ao3 just under fluff (I really need to tidy my bookmarks!) 💖 There’s 79 in this list so it’s a long one!! ^-^

please stay safe and read the tags everyone! :)

freeze this moment in a frame and stay like this by rosesau

Harry (not so) secretly crushes on the cute footie player and fills pages with sketches of him.

Thunder started it by booloveshiscuppycake

Harry's always been scared of thunder storms. But louis' always been there to comfort him. Friendship and comfort turn into love. (Fluffy as shit)

but he cant be what you need (if he's eighteen) by lingerielarries

“I need you to do something for me.” Harry said, pinching his bottom lip between his thumb and forefinger.

“It seems like you’re asking me to kill for you, H.” Louis laughed nervously.

“It’s nothing that drastic, I promise. It’s just. I don’t think it’s a secret that I’m not a.. normal eighteen year old.” Louis furrowed his eyebrows at that, narrowing his eyes at the younger boy.

“Are people giving you a hard time?” Louis wondered. Harry shifted in his seat and brushed some of his fringe off his forehead.

“Yeah, that’s. That’s kind of what I wanted to talk to you about.” Harry swallowed nervously. He could feel the sweat pooling at his hairline so he wiped it with the sleeve of his sweater. “I need you to uhm, pretend to be my boyfriend.”

the one where harry is sick of getting bullied and casts louis as the hot punk boyfriend to scare them away. louis needs harry to return the favor.

punk!louis and flowerchild!harry

the love is ours to make (so we should make it) by lingerielarries

“I’m.. Harry. I nanny? For Ernest and Doris?” Harry responded.

“A nanny? How old even are you? You look twelve.” Louis remarked. Something caught Louis’ eye, and a closer look revealed that Harry had a coat of pink nail polish on his fingers.

“Nineteen. I’m nineteen.” Harry replied.

“Right. Nineteen, wears pink, flower crowns and paints his nails. Who the actual fuck did my mum hire?”

the one where louis takes some time off from life to return home, only to be met with a strange boy in pink and a flowercrown as the nanny of his siblings.

All I See is You by ElegantSurrender

Even with the blood gushing from his nose, he couldn’t keep his thoughts on anything but the boy in front of him. He was just so… pretty. He smiled to himself, which only seemed to worry his boyfriend more.

“Why’re you smiling?” Louis asked confusedly, moving Harry’s bloody hand away, and replacing it with his, pinching his nose shut with a tissue. “You’re bleeding, and you’re fucking smiling.”

“Seeing you makes me happy.”

(or the one where Harry has a bloody nose and Louis takes care of him, and Harry really really loves Louis)

Pretty Blue Eyes (I don't care about the nightmares) by justgotowisharder

Harry has nightmares, Louis hates sharing the bed, they end up talking about dreams, they read Freud and they fall in love in the process.

Breathe by dontlietomehoney

Harry has an asthma attack and Louis is scared to death. What follows after though, scares both boys, pulling them apart and bringing them together.

with your love we could breathe underwater by luminescents

Harry’s brow furrows, a look of confusion spreading over his face. “But I am real. I exist, see,” he says, raising a hand out of the water and wiggling his fingers at Louis.

Louis finds himself relaxing a bit. Harry seems harmless really. And he’s quite cute, for something that’s not supposed to exist. If Louis is indeed having a hallucination right now, at least it’s a cute one.

AU where Harry is a mermaid, Louis is a human, and they both discover a lot more than they anticipated.

yes, you make my life worthwhile by orphan_account

Harry whispers to him that this feels like every dream he’s had for the last three years and Louis kisses his temple, behind his ear, across his cheeks and by the edge of his jaw. He runs the back of his finger across Winnie’s sleep-warm cheeks and sighs, the weight of the world finally off his shoulder.

Louis' a pediatrician, Harry's a preschooler teacher, and they're having a baby.

Weigh Us Down (We're In Love) by orphan_account

Harry’s eyes widen slightly at that. “We’re friends?”

Louis nods eagerly, smiling even wider. “Of course we are! You’re like, my first ever friend here. We just moved in, you see. Did I already tell you about that? Anyway! Maybe you can stay for dinner and I can show you my toys?”

Harry smiles. “You’ll let me play with you?”

Louis nods again, excited. “Of course!” He looks thoughtful for a moment, and then he’s slipping off the couch and crouching in front of Harry. “Oh, and Mum always kisses my wounds after she fixes them up. It makes me feel loads better all the time, so.” He leans forward and puckers his lips, pressing them over the bandage on Harry’s knee.

(harry and louis first meet when they’re eight and ten. this is their story throughout the years.)

Breathe by Jade_eyed

Can you write a Larry high school AU where Harry's a sophomore and Louis' his senior boyfriend and Harry's being bullied during class and has a panic attack and all he's saying is 'Louis' so someone goes into louis' classroom and gets him and louis' like freaking out when he finds out and just really fluffy and stuff i just need this okay

[ I changed it a bit , I'm sorry babe I tried. :( ]

Cause If You Let Me, Here's What I'll Do by stylesforstiles

Five times where Harry is Louis' baby

Zero Means Nothing When I'm With You by StripedAndBowtied

Louis doesn't know what he's looking for until he finds it.

Harry just knows he may defy his gender norms, with his height and clumsiness, but that doesn't mean he doesn't want litters of pups running around while he does domestic things all day long.

In other words, boy meets boy and no one can stop pining.

All my senses come to life by erikaeurekajoe

And it was true. Harry's senses were all coming to life, on overdrive in fact because a handsome blue-eyed stranger was holding his hands.

Because of Louis Tomlinson's Arse by AggressiveStress

One in which Harry is a clumsy Uni student that first sees Louis leaning over, picking up his things with his arse very prominent. Harry then falls down the stairs and Louis- wearing a nice little beanie- helps him back to his feet.

In All Its Imperfections by BriaMaria

From: Louis Tomlinson To: Undisclosed Recipients

Hello!

I’ve asked the front desk and you lovely folks are the ones who are on the same level as me in the car park. I found a to-do list today that looked somewhat important because it has lines of poetry scribbled at the bottom that seemed like they might be for a card project. The stationary has a moose in a canoe at the top of it (and he is quite adorable). Let me know if it’s yours!

Cheers!

“Oh. My. Fucking. God,” Harry whispered, his eyes darting over the sentences again willing them not to make sense. They did, they did make sense. “Oh. My. Bloody. Fucking. God.”

The next thing he knew he was on the floor, staring at the ceiling, with a very concerned Liam hovering over his head.

"What happened, mate?" Liam asked.

Harry just pointed to his computer.

Liam bent over Harry’s desk to read the email. “What? This isn’t bad. Is that your to-do list? Did you finally come up with the inside text for those cards?”

“Leeyum" he groaned. “It’s what’s on the list.”

“Oh,” Liam paused for a beat. “Is it dirty stuff?”

Harry nodded.

There was more silence. And then, “Dirty stuff with Louis?”

Delirious in Love by yourpricelessadvice (orphan_account)

Louis is there for Harry waking up from minor surgery; he wouldn't miss it for the world. For two reasons.

Stars Will Align For Us by 2tiedships2

"The serial monogamist is single," Niall said by way of introduction when he sat down across from Harry in the canteen.

Harry sipped his chocolate milk. "What are you going on about?"

"Your alpha dream boat," Niall said. "That tiny little footie player? I heard from Hannah that he's broken it off with his boyfriend so he’s single and ready to flamingle. Now's the time to make your move."

Harry sipped his chocolate milk harder to keep himself from replying.

Or the one where Harry is an omega at a loss of how to get past his pining and gain the attention of Louis...especially considering the alpha is always in a relationship.

(twenty minutes later) wound up in the hospital by callmelover

“Baby, I think a quick trip to A&E might do you some good, hm?” Louis keeps his voice as calm as possible. He doesn't want to startle Harry or make him scared, but he knows that Harry’s fever is too high and he can't risk Harry choking himself into another attack when he's so poorly.

He hears a sharp intake of breath come for Harry and he knows Harry is starting to panic. Louis moves his hand from Harry's hair to his back, rubbing circles into his sweat-soaked shirt.

“No, no. Shh, don't worry, darling. Everything is okay, you’ll be okay. I just know that the doctors will be able to make you feel much better much sooner than I can...Just want you to get healthy as soon as possible, okay?”

or the one where harry has the flu and louis is a protective, nervous-wreck of a boyfriend

You live in my heart by styleztomlinson

As soon as they’re done with their set, Louis only has one thing on his mind and that’s to get out of there as soon as possible.or,Harry is sick during their performance at the iHeartRadio festival. Afterwards, Louis takes cares of his baby, and dotes on his husband.

Take Care by secretlylarry

Louis really does love to take care of Harry when he's sick.

if we got nothing, we got us by tumsa

Harry is Louis' baby and he's sick as well.

Peppermint and Lavender (and Coffee) by 2tiedships2

“He was there again,” Louis announced by way of greeting. “Lottie was right and she can never know.”

"What the fuck are you talking about?” Niall asked as he snapped his laptop closed.

“The omega, Niall. He was there today. Just sitting in the corner looking pretty. Or at least his back is. He hasn’t turned around when I’m available to see. I know he’s beautiful though.”

"Okay?” Niall questioned. “What does that have to do with Lottie?”

Louis let out a huff. "She told me I shouldn’t work at a coffee shop. She was right.”

Or the one where Louis might have met the love of his life in a coffee shop. But that’s not how it’s supposed to happen.

So Long I've Been Waiting by kikikryslee

Niall held up his glass in a toast. “Cheers.” Harry stared at Louis as he brought the glass up to his lips, unsure of what to do. It wasn’t like he could refuse the drink, but he certainly didn’t want to have any champagne. Louis monitored everyone else, and as soon as they all had their heads tilted back, drinking their mimosa, he reached out and knocked Harry’s glass right out of his hand, sending it crashing to the floor. “Oh, no!” Louis pretended to be shocked at what had just happened. “Harry, you’re so clumsy. You dropped your glass.” “Yes,” Harry said seriously. “I am very clumsy.” --- Or, the one where Harry and Louis are having their first baby, and keeping it a secret until the end of the first trimester is a lot harder than they thought it would be.

Nothing's Gonna Stop Me But Divine Intervention by kikikryslee

“So… what’s next on the soul mate search?” Louis asked. “I don’t know,” Harry answered. “Whatever I’m doing isn’t working. I’m not finding him anywhere.” “He’ll get here. I know it." “Yeah. I know he’s out there somewhere; I just have to figure out where.” --- Or, the soul mate AU where Harry overthinks everything having to do with finding the love of his life, and Louis doesn't think there's a Mr. Right for him at all. It takes them a while to realize that their soul mate is the person they want it to be: each other.

We Made These Memories for Ourselves by supernope

Breath held, Harry squints his eyes open and focuses on the first stick. A blue line. Harry breathes out an unsteady breath. He’s pretty sure he read that one blue line is a negative, but he fishes the box from the bottom of the pile just to make sure.

“Negative,” he confirms, voice echoing around the small room. “Next.”

Now that he’s feeling a little less shaky, he scans the rest of the tests at once, is met with a headache-inducing mixture of pink plus signs and blue double lines. His heart rate picks up until it’s pounding triple-time in the base of his throat and the pit of his stomach, thundering in his ears and throbbing in his temples. He flips over the rest of the boxes slowly, but he knows what they’re going to say before he even looks.

[or, Louis is a footballer, Harry owns a bakery, and they're having a baby.]

taken by the wind by scrunchyharry

When he decided to move to London with his sister, Harry thought he would finally get to learn how to control his magic. He couldn't possibly have predicted that he would fall for her neighbour.

Or the one where Harry is a clumsy witch and Louis is making everything worse just by existing.

Piece by Piece by SadaVeniren

He rubbed his hand over his lower stomach and closed his eyes. Louis was going to lose his fucking mind.

(aka Harry tells Louis he's pregnant and it goes as expected)

And We Linger On by stylesforstiles

Harry is pouting. Louis takes care of him

There's a Hole In My Soul, Can You Fill It? by stylesforstiles

Sometimes Harry is so tired. Louis always wants to fix it.

one glance and the avalanche drops by Wankerville

It's strange, honestly, having someone so gorgeous in his kitchen, and not only physically gorgeous, but, like, the everything else gorgeous. The type of gorgeous that Louis wants his life to always be covered in. The type of gorgeous he wants lying in sweatpants and an old t-shirt on his couch when he gets home from class. The type of gorgeous he wants to have shoving crisps down the front of his shirt. The type of goddamn gorgeous he wants to kiss, and coddle, and like, love.

Which is ridiculous- he doesn't know him. Pfft.

(or an au wherein louis buys a christmas tree and harry is the boy in leggings who delivers it. they are a christmas classic.)

Do Not Falter (There's a Star Ahead) by LadyLondonderry

It's Christmas Eve, and every single one of Louis' family members are crowded inside his little flat. Really, what more could he ask for on his birthday?

The present he never knew he wanted - in the form of an omega from his past - might just make this his most memorable Christmas.

Right Here Waiting by lovelarry10

Louis and Harry are expecting a baby. Harry's heavily pregnant and nesting madly, determined to make their home ready for their baby.

Blow Out the Candles, Baby by iwillpaintasongforlou

Louis' been planning Harry's 20th birthday party for weeks, and Harry's too sick to move. Louis might be the kind of sap who tries to nurse him back to health with cuddles and jokes and cupcakes for two.

Never Let You Fall by iwillpaintasongforlou

Harry slips on stage and gets a minor concussion, and Louis insists that he spend the night in the hospital just in case. He then turns into a protective baby lion because that is his Harry and he'll be damned if anything happens to him on Louis' watch. Harry rolls his eyes a lot but doesn't really mind.

Asthma and Bad Jokes by Larry_Klaine_Stylinson

When Harry has an asthma attack on stage, Louis has to go and help him. He leaves Niall in charge of keeping the audience entertained.

All I Need is Oxygen (and You) by lululawrence

There are only two ways to navigate Bloomfield High School: become popular or make yourself invisible.

With the help of his best mate Niall, Harry’s introduction to high school hadn’t been half bad. Despite being a “bandie” – the lowest of the low in the ancient hierarchy of high school –Harry had somehow managed to survive freshman year relatively unscathed. So naturally, Harry would have been perfectly happy to resume his position of invisible trombone player number four for the remainder of high school. But one day something drastic happened, something that would change the course of Harry’s entire existence (probably).

It was the last football game of his freshman year, and the band was back in the stands after performing a rousing rendition of Bloomfield’s alma mater during half time. Harry was gracelessly wiping the slobber from the mouthpiece of his trombone when he saw him.

Louis Tomlinson.

Or...a High School AU where Harry is a bandie and Louis is the epitome of cool, so naturally, Harry must find a way to get his attention and win his affections.

i’d burn this city down to show you the light by you_explode

Harry's a sheltered rich kid and Louis's a punk with a heart of gold. They meet when Louis breaks into Harry's house, Harry obtains an instant and all-encompassing crush, and they spend the summer falling into a whirlwind romance.

put your head on my shoulder by wayfared

Niall gives Harry until the end of marching season to either a) make a move on Louis Tomlinson or b) get the fuck over him. Either is easier said than done. Basically, your High School AU with a drum beat.

we should get jerseys, 'cause we make a good team by ellisaco

Harry's not very good at football, but he's aces at cheering Louis on.

Snow by hlftanna

Louis hid something from him. Harry was 100% sure of that. He knew him better than he knew himself. And. He. Hid. Something. From. Him. Harry just hasn't figured out what. Because if Louis wanted to hide something from anyone he usually succeeded because he was Louis Tomlinson.

Use Your Words by zedi

based off this prompt: collage au where jock!harry always serenades flowercrown!louis with love songs in their music class. what nobody knows is that harry actually kinda means the words he sings.

But instead it's Louis as the jock and Harry as the flowerchild because I do what I want.

see the truth (it's me for you) by orphan_account

If you asked Louis the first day of his French Literature class what he’d be doing on the last, he’d probably never have guessed it would involve helping a poorly Harry Styles study for the final exam. Good thing he’s not a betting man.

(Or the one where Louis and Harry spend an entire semester ignoring each other after a one-night stand, only to come face to face when Harry manages to catch the stomach flu during finals week. Sometimes fate is funny like that.)

calling out for somebody to hold tonight by heartinsidemine

“Dunno why I can’t sleep,” is the first thing Harry says into the still, quiet night.

“New flat, new noises,” Louis murmurs, finally setting the kettle on the stove and turning properly toward him. “New responsibilities, too, eh? Second year, you’re working your way up in the world.”

Harry rolls his eyes, shaking his head. “Nothing’s really new, though, is it? I mean, the location, but… I’ve got the same job I had last year, same basic courses, same workload…” He sighs out, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“You and me are in the same boat, though,” Louis murmurs to him. He hates seeing Harry like this, even though rationally he knows that he can’t do anything about Harry’s insomnia. “Finding it difficult to sleep myself. Was gonna turn on the telly, maybe the cooking channel until I fall asleep. Care to join me?”

He doesn’t think twice about the offer before making it; it only makes sense. They’re both exhausted and they both sleep better with a cuddle, and anyway Louis would absolutely rather have a conversation partner than only the walls of his room for company.

Running Down To The Riptide by sweaterpawstyles

"I can't give you your present yet, Lou."

Louis furrowed his brows. "And why is that, my love?"

Harry smiled at his lap. "Because your present is under my sweater," he pulled his free hand that wasn't laced with Louis' and gently laid it on his stomach. "I'm pregnant."

It's New Year's Eve and Harry has a surprise under his sweater

Song For The Springtime by sunshiner

“Cherry blossoms,” Harry mumbles. “The solution’s cherry blossoms.”

Uni AU.

the happiest place in our universe by tippytoetomlinstyles

Harry holds Louis’ hand and looks around at all the exciting and beautiful things and Louis looks at him because he finds him the most beautiful and exciting thing there is.

or the one where Louis takes Harry to Disneyland and Harry convinces Louis to wear Mickey Mouse ears to match his Minnie Mouse ears.

Made From Love by lovelarry10

It's almost Christmas, and amongst the preparations, Louis' realised something about his husband Harry.

Harry, however, seems to be oblivious.

Louis' determined to open Harry's eyes and make him realise the real magic that's happening this Christmas...

Another Constellation to Trace by screwstyles

Louis wiggles his eyebrows. “I’m winning that bet.”

“What bet?” comes Niall’s excited voice from behind them, followed by footsteps. “I wanna be in on the bet!” he shouts, prompting Harry to quickly roll down his shirt sleeve and straighten his shirt where it’s still crinkly after Louis’ hands.

Niall takes one look at them and purses his lips in a tight line. “Were you guys making out again? Isn’t the fire meant to die down a bit after eight years?”

“Trust me, the fire is still very much alive,” Louis winks at Harry. “One could even say it’s cooking something.”

Mpreg AU: Louis and Harry bet on who can keep Harry's pregnancy a secret for longer. Neither of them is particularly good at it, and it doesn't help that their soulmate tattoos make it even harder.

another pair of feet by honey_beeing

where Harry is pregnant and Louis is an oblivious idiot.

We Were Made to Love by supernope

“Everything all sorted? Need help with the buckles? I know they’re a bit tricky in this compartment.”

The voice startles Louis out of his daze, and he turns toward the voice to let him know he figured it out. When he catches sight of the owner of the voice, though, his response dies in his throat. Whatever he had imagined the conductor of a children’s train that rides around the shopping centre in Leeds would look like, this is certainly not it.

Leaning through the window, arms folded across the sill, is a green-eyed angel with cherry red lips stretched wide in a smile and dimples flirting in his cheeks. A black conductor’s hat is the only confirmation that this is not some gorgeous stranger who’s come to flirt with Louis through the window of a children’s train, but is just a man doing his job.

[or, Harry drives a kiddie train in the shopping centre for the summer and is obsessed with babies, and Louis never stood a chance.]

here comes the sun by orphan_account

“Everything’s going to be fine,” Louis promises, his pink, chapped lips moving slowly in the cold. It matches the beanie on his head—pink, because they found out this morning that they’re having a girl and that’s just.

Harry’s going to be a dad. To a little girl. Five months from now he’ll be holding her in his arms, and she’ll be so lovely and small.

They’re going to have a spring baby and she’s probably going to have Louis’ eyes. What a blessing that would be. Harry crosses his fingers on the hand inside his pocket, hoping that she does. He’ll love her either way—blue or green or even brown eyes, it doesn’t matter—but he’d really like them to be blue, he thinks.

[Harry is a pediatric specialist, Louis is a neurosurgeon. All they want is a baby.]

So Put Your Hands In (The Holes of My Sweater) by Kat_rawr

“Are you gonna kiss me then?” He asks so quiet he isn’t even sure Louis heard him.

“I think it’s bad luck if I don’t.“ Louis’ breath is hot on Harry’s skin in the cold air. They stand in the dark; Louis’ face only lit up by the yellow-ish light from the street light a few metres away. The light over the door of their building hasn’t worked in years.

“Okay,” Harry says, and of course his cheeks heat up. There are definitely butterflies in stomach and his mouth is definitely dry.

or,

Harry and Louis go on a lot of not-dates

A Little Kind of Magic by Star55

A tiny tale of Louis' Very Important Birthday and Christmas at Hogwarts that Harry loves celebrating with his best friend whom he absolutely is not in love with. No matter what Niall says. (He's a little in love with Louis.)

it tastes like you, only sweeter by EmmyLouWho

Sometimes Harry hates being a second year, like when all his older friends get to go to Hogsmeade and he has to stay behind in the castle. Luckily, Harry has a Louis to make everything better.

For the prompt: “I’m not allowed to go to Hogsmeade but you always tell me stories about it and bring me candy from Honeydukes”

Sun-Dappled by QuickedWeen

Louis and his best friend Harry are in their seventh year at Hogwarts, facing down their future together. Louis has been in love with his best friend for as long as he can remember, and he begins to feel a sense of urgency as the second semester begins. Finally he hatches a plan to tell Harry about his feelings on Harry's birthday.

Sweet Like Sunshine by orphan_account

When Louis saves him from some seventh years bullying him on his lack of Quidditch skills, Harry takes offense. Louis offers to teach him to make up for it. They fall in love somewhere along the way.

Featuring one exasperated Niall, trips to Hogsmede and many flying sessions.

Follow Me Down This Time by supernope

Harry first noticed Louis in his second term at Hogwarts, and despite three years of inventing ways to stumble across Louis, he's never managed to actually work up the courage to speak to him. Also known as, self-indulgent Hogwarts AU, because every fandom needs Hogwarts AUs.

For Reasons Wretched and Divine by panicmoonwalk

Niall’s head was sitting in the fireplace, wide grin lighting up his features as flames licked the bright tips of his hair. Louis promptly dropped his tray at the sight.

“Bloody hell!” He yelled, half at the sudden appearance of Niall in the fire and half at the scalding cocoa he’d just dropped on his bare foot. “What are you doing?!”

Niall just continued to grin, clearly highly amused by Louis hopping on one foot and desperately trying to search for a weapon he could use to beat his friend’s head out of the fireplace.

“Well,” Niall began. “We’re going on an adventure!”

Or, the one where Louis and Harry’s Christmas holiday at Hogwarts is rudely interrupted when they’re dragged off on a tropical wizard’s vacation, featuring some angry centaurs, a spell gone wrong, and the ‘weirdest birthday anyone’s ever had. Ever’.

Loving with a Little Twist by hrrytomlinson

“What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know Niall! I just promised my mother I’m bringing my boyfriend - a boyfriend I don’t have - to Thanksgiving dinner. What should I do? I can’t call back and be like, ‘Oh yeah mom, that boyfriend I said that I have, I don’t actually have. Sorry to disappoint you.’ My life is ruined.” Harry returns to suffocating himself with the pillow.

Niall laughs and Harry growls at his best friend’s unwarranted happiness in this life-ending situation. Harry is fucked. Fuck. He needs a boyfriend. Fuck.

(or a thanksgiving themed fake/pretend relationship au)

everywhere (i wanna be with you) by itiswhatitisbutterfly

Harry and Louis meet because they have terrible friends, they fall in love because something feels right in a world of uncertainty and shifting grounds. Louis is an actor and Harry is a model at the top of his game, the best things in life are the most unexpected ones and the things that hit you when you are least expecting it.

Featuring winter in London, nights in Paris, early mornings in New York, burning heat in Monte Carlo and an enduring love spent transcending four corners of the globe.

on a wednesday, in a cafe by wreckedboyfriends

“What can I get for you today?” he asked without looking up, arranging the last of the pastries.

“Have any recommendations? Never been here before, actually.” Harry hit his head on the top of the case in his haste to look at the source of the voice. It was a really beautiful voice, small and high and just lovely, if a voice could be lovely. Harry thought so. “Alright, mate?” the man asked when Harry finally composed himself, rubbing the top of his head as he took his place at the register.

Harry opened his eyes, and fuck. If Harry had thought his voice was lovely, the man himself was on a whole other level. “Alright, mate?” He repeated and shit. Harry had been openly staring for quite awhile, hadn’t he?

“Yeah,” Harry replied, and it came out sounding like a semi trailer running over gravel. He cleared his throat. “Yeah,” he repeated. “Um, the cherry danish is quite good, I think. ’S my favorite.”

The man smiled. “One cherry danish it is, then.”

OR Harry’s spent the last year with six locks on his door, a pair of too-flamboyant boots buried in the back of his closet, and insecurity issues the size of a mammoth. Louis changes some of that, but Harry changes the most.

I Long For You by AnotherAnonymousWriter

Thirty minutes later, he's sat on a bench in Hyde Park with a book in his lap and a travel mug with hot tea in his hand. Not far from where he's sat, a group of boys are playing football and a bunch of children are chasing each other. Life is good.

Or at least, life is good until he hears a familiar “LOOK OUT!” and sees a football flying in the direction of his face.

And then everything is black.

(Harry gets hit in the head by various objects and falls for a boy with blue eyes.)

Let It Snow by thebrainisafunnyplace

Bakery owner Harry Styles is always cold, until he hires local university student, Louis Tomlinson to work as a cashier. When the storm of the year hits, the boys find themselves stuck together inside the bakery the night before Christmas Eve. Luckily, they have each other to keep warm.

everything i can arrange, every part of me you change by orphan_account

“Don’t you try that shit with me,” Niall spits the second he reaches Louis, pulling off the hood with force. “What the hell is this?” He plops down next to Louis on the empty bleacher and unceremoniously pushes a sheet of crumpled paper in his face.

Netflix and Chill Buddy Application

It’s like no matter how hard Louis tries, he can’t seem to run away from this stupid fucking flyer. All the girls (and some of the boys) in every one of his classes have been talking about it all week. It’s on every wall of every building on campus. Louis went for a jog last night and he nearly tripped and died over a loose one on the football track.

[Harry needs a big spoon and Louis refuses to let anyone steal his position. Based on this post.]

No words by becharlatan

Harry is a music student who never talks because he's a total introvert. Louis happens to bump into him by accident and as if like the constellations, the two have aligned their paths together despite their differences.

Sun Emoji Moon Emoji by mybeanieandme

For the prompt:

University!au: Harry works at a cafe as the busboy and Louis just really wants to get to know him. (Louis pines for an insecure Harry for a semester)

nonstop earthquake dreams of you by lumineres

And there's heat behind it, blazing, plasmatic, like stars crashing together, like an explosion in space, like a supernova, like a black hole--everything else sucked out of existence. There's no bed and there's no pillow and they're not lying down, just floating somewhere, somehow, and there's no room and there's no X Factor house and there's no Niall snuffling or Liam's deep, even breathing and there's no wind or traffic outside and there's no hum of the heating unit and it's all just Louis. All encompassingly Louis.

or, harry falls hard and finds louis already at the bottom

Kiss From A Rose by lovelarry10

Harry is the quiet one in the office no one ever notices. Until Louis does, that is. When notes start appearing on Harry’s desk, he ponders who is behind the kind words, oblivious to Louis’ attempts to get his attention...

Black Cat by lalune15

Inspired by this tumblr post (not asked or requested): fic where louis works at a haunted house jumping out at people and harry’s friends drag him along even though he doesn’t really like haunted houses. when louis jumps out to scare their group, harry freaks out and accidentally jumps into louis’s arms. louis just squeaks. harry ends up sitting there with louis the rest of his shift and totally doesn’t come back every night after that.

Be Mine, For Always by zams

Louis is happy when Harry is happy. That's what Louis wants, and so when Louis starts feeling weird when Harry cuddles with Liam, Zayn, or Niall instead of him, he keeps quiet. But the burning, uncomfortable feeling Louis gets deep in his stomach when he sees Harry contentedly nuzzling Liam's neck, or Harry's arms and legs tangled around Niall like an octopus, or Harry's face smushed in Zayn's stomach as Zayn plays with his hair only gets worse as the days go by.

Loosen Up My Buttons by softfonds

The beautiful man opened this bakery about a year ago. He remembered the exact day he came: a glum, rainy morning in the middle of February, which instantly turned brighter the minute he saw him. The man had come in with some paint buckets and tools, and Louis doubted he would be able to fix up the drab place all by himself. But as he walked down the stairs at the end of the day and saw the man standing there in the middle of a gorgeous pink and white shop, clearly proud of his work, Louis fell in love at first sight. If only he knew how to talk to him.

Usually, Louis knew how to flirt. He prided himself on it. But every time he looked at the beautiful man, he completely forgot how to form sentences, and there was no way he could go up to him only to make a fool of himself. That was the last thing he needed.

Or, Louis owns a tattoo shop called Pretty in Ink, Harry owns a bakery called Rolling Scones, they haven't been introduced, and Valentine’s Day seems like the perfect opportunity to finally talk to the man Louis has been pinning over for the past year. And they both end up with more love than they bargained for.

Coffee Cups and Football Boots by kimtaedumb

Harry’s stood behind the counter again, but this time he’s painting his nails. Louis strolls up to the counter and, thanks to his no brain-to-mouth filter, blurts out, “Isn’t that a little girlish, Haz?” leaning closer to inspect.

Harry lets out a little huff as his hand slips, “Oh, damn, now I’ve messed it up,” he pouts and turns to Louis, “Why should making myself feel pretty be girly?”

Louis holds up his hands in surrender, “’M not judging, jus’ curious is all.”

(The entirely cheesy and cliché Christmas AU, in which Harry doesn’t give a damn what people think about him – mostly – and Louis may be a little bit in love.

Alternatively, the one in which Harry owns a café that’s barely scraping by and Louis is a footballer and he takes Harry away for Christmas.

Featuring Zayn as a cocky little shit that most definitely needs to be put back in his place, Niall as the loveable Irish dude who drinks too much and flirts with Zayn more than the average girl, and Liam who loves everyone but hates them all at the same time.)

you make my whole world feel so right when it's wrong by orphan_account

“Curly?” Louis says, stepping into Harry’s sight. “You okay?” Harry looks up from where he has two things in his hands, a thick winter coat sized for a newborn, and a sweatshirt fitting a grown man such as himself. He looks up at Louis, stricken, and holds them out for him to see. “They’re the same price,” he says. “They’re both forty dollars! Forty dollars for such little material.”

(or, Harry is pregnant and stops at the mall to buy cheap baby clothes. Louis has extra money from working a long shift, and he can't think of a better way to spend it than on him.)

you were the ocean, i was drawn into you by by orphan_account

where harry takes pictures and worries too much and louis plays guitar.

i'll be your sunflower by scagnetism

“What do you think’s gonna stop us now?” Harry says cheekily, laughter in his voice as he looks up at Louis. “Something’s gotta get in our way like always, doesn’t it?”

“Ha,” Louis grins, kissing his cheek and holding open the door for him as they make their way toward the car. “Nothing’s gonna interrupt us this time. ‘S gonna be perfect, just like Pumpkin.”

Or, a few interruptions aren't going to stop Harry from having a perfect pregnancy and having the family he and Louis have always dreamed of.

Send Me Your Pillow (The One That You Dream On) by flowercrownfemme

Harry is embarrassed to realize he's nesting but can't stop stealing Louis' things for his nest.

Short fluffy o/o gaybo drabble with lots of cuddles and softness and sock stealing <3

As one we are everything/We are everything we need by louloubaby92

Harry finally marries the love of his life. He's got the mating mark, he's got Louis' ring on his finger.

And now, he's on his honeymoon. Louis is but a door away, waiting for him.

Honestly, he doesn't understand why he's nervous.

only guilty of loving you by sweetrevenge

After Harry gets set up with his co-worker's alpha friend Louis, he's expecting some pleasant conversation, free dinner, and maybe a new friend. What he doesn't expect, however, is that Louis' arrival in his life begins a life of crime Harry never knew he had in him.

A You've Got Mail!AU with a twist.

#Larry Stylinson #ask lots #fic rec #Lottie fic rec #fanfiction #fanfic #larry fanfiction #larry stylinson fanfiction #larry fanfic rec #larry fic rec #larry stylinson fic rec #fluff

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sage-nebula · 3 years

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Because where I work is considered essential (and because IT in particular is considered essential, and I work in IT), I’ve already received both doses of the Covid-19 vaccine. I thought I would share my experiences with the vaccine here in case anyone wants to hear about it from a regular person on a personal blog rather than a big media outlet or other professional source.

TL;DR: Get the vaccine, please get the vaccine, it is worth it.

Longer version:

As you may or may not know, I am a hermit, so I’m basically in my house any time when I’m not forced to be out of my house, meaning quarantine didn’t really disrupt my normal life at all. In fact, it let me work from home which I considered to be an improvement. I bring this up because it means that at no point did I ever get Covid. What this means is that when it came to the first round of the vaccine, here’s what happened:

1st Round Side-Effects: None! Aside from the standard sore arm at injection point.

My body had never seen Covid before, so it didn’t know what to expect and had no reaction at first except for, well, something along the lines of this:

Vaccine: [arrives with Covid protein] Immune System: “Oh, I don’t like that. I don’t like that you brought that in here. I’m going to make preparations so you can’t do that again.”

So then a couple weeks passed and I got the second vaccine. When I got the second vaccine, the nurse who gave me the shot pointed to a free sheet I could take that listed all the side-effects to expect, as well as a sticker (similar to an “I Voted” sticker, but this time it’s an “I Got the Covid-19 Vaccine” sticker). I took the sticker but left the informational sheet, because I didn’t have side-effects the first time and figured that I wouldn’t have any the second time.

This was a mistake.

Because you see, this time my body recognized the Covid protein, and so the response was basically:

Vaccine: [arrives with Covid protein] Immune System: “I think the fuck NOT you trick-ass bitch!! Get the FUCK out of my house this goddamn INSTANT, I am firing up the BAZOOKAS, you are NOT WELCOME HERE!!”

And as a result, I have experienced the following side-effects:

— Body Aches: General muscle pain, which I have all the time anyway, but also random stabbing pains all over my body. These were sharp enough to wake me up from sleep yesterday morning.

— Headache: Honestly I have nearly daily headaches anyway due to a car accident I had like a decade ago (apparently this kind of trauma stays with you), but it’s been more pronounced as through my entire head than normal, plus with the addition of the aforementioned spiky pains up there.

— Nausea: The nausea also woke up at like 6am yesterday, and I took some Pepto Bismol to try to get rid of it, but it didn’t work. The nausea persisted along with the pain.

— Vomiting: I threw up once at 8am yesterday as a result of the aforementioned nausea. Thankfully I have not experienced either nausea or vomiting since. However, that may be because . . .

— Loss of Appetite: I haven’t wanted to eat anything since yesterday! I’ve tried, oh how I’ve tried. Yesterday I had half a cup of chicken noodle soup and two pieces of sourdough bread with butter on them. Today so far I’ve had half a cup of broccoli cheddar soup with two pieces of sourdough bread dipped in. I’m also now having a milkshake to try to get some calories in me. It’s been a struggle.

— Allodynia: This might be more of a “me” thing than a side-effect thing because I don’t see this listed with normal Covid-19 vaccine side-effects, BUT it happens when I get sick. Essentially, since yesterday morning my skin has been very painful to the touch. On my scalp especially, but also down my arms, legs, chest, back — you name it, it hurts when I touch it, like having a bad sunburn or millions of papercuts all over my body. Sucks, man.

— Fever + Chills: I’ve had a fever, and as a result I’ve had chills! Ever wonder what it’s like waking up under a fleece weighted blanket, drenched in sweat but also still cold? It’s not fun. Don’t recommend it. (But my solution was still to put on heavier clothes and get under the blanket to sleep some more . . . I mean I wasn’t cold the next time I woke up but I don’t know if this was the smart solution.)

— Extreme Fatigue: Speaks for itself.

Yesterday was definitely worse than today. (For reference, I got the vaccine on Thursday, yesterday was Friday, today is Saturday. So this is Day 2.) Yesterday I was operating at 10% capacity at my best. Most of the day it was like 3% - 5%. Today it’s more like 40% - 50%. Definitely much better, but I still feel sick. I don’t count it as a real illness because I don’t actually have the Covid-19 virus in my body. It’s more that there’s a protein or something specific to Covid-19 that’s in the vaccine, and my immune system recognized it and decided to launch into ass-kicking mode. Unfortunately, the way the human body’s immune system works is that it doesn’t just 1v1 the virus. Instead it’s like, you know how people joke that they’re going to burn the house down to get rid of the spider when they find a spider in the living room? That’s what the immune system does. The immune system doesn’t grab a newspaper to smash the virus, the immune system sets fire to the body to kill the virus, and that’s what a fever is. And it sucks for all involved, but ultimately it’s worth it as long as you don’t die first. (Which is always a risk, but the immune system doesn’t care about that. The immune system just wants the spider / virus gone.)

Anyway, I write all of this out so that you can a.) know what to be prepared for and stock up accordingly, and b.) know that it’s still NOWHERE NEAR AS BAD as actually getting Covid-19. My best friend got Covid-19, and she was hospitalized and on oxygen for a week. She had cognitive issues, like memory problems, for longer. She is still sneezing up blood clots from what the oxygen did to her, among other things. And she’s one of the lucky ones. The side-effects remind me of when I got the flu back in 2018, except still not as bad because I’m getting over them much, much more quickly than I did the flu. However much these side effects suck, I’ve been managing them with the following:

— Gatorade: I’m one of those people that doesn’t like drinking water because it’s bland, so I had a Postmate bring me three big bottles of Glacier Freeze Gatorade and I’ve been chugging them. Gatorade is basically flavored sugar water so it replenishes your electrolytes and gets you hydrated. Is it as healthy as water? Due to the high sugar content, probably not. Does that matter when you’re at risk of dehydration because you’ve puked and are sweating out a fever? Nope! I’ve drank Gatorade whenever I get sick / dehydrated ever since childhood because my pediatrician recommended it to me back then. If you don’t like water, stock up on this in preparation.

— Advil: I always have Advil on hand because as I mentioned before, I get near daily headaches regardless. But Advil has helped not only with the muscle pains, but also with the fever reduction and the allodynia. These things have all come back when the Advil wears off, but it helps in the meantime. Other medicines, like Tylenol, can probably help too.

— Sleep: I had to work yesterday (from home), but any time I wasn’t answering an email or on the phone I was dozing off. When I ended my shift at 5:30pm I slept until 2am. I woke up long enough to drink some more Gatorade, take some more Advil, and let my dog out, and then I went back to sleep until 12:30pm. I think this is why I feel so much better tbh. Sleep is very healing. If you’re an adult who works, plan to take time off after your second vaccination if you can. You will thank yourself for it.

I did these same things when I had the flu, but it still took me two weeks to get to where I am now in two days. The second vaccine hits hard because your immune system takes things from 0 to 100, but it’s still not as bad as an actual virus, and definitely not as bad as being in the hospital on oxygen or, god help you, a ventilator. (Because my next-door neighbor, who was a nurse, told me that by the time you’re on a ventilator you only have a 30% chance of surviving. So you really do not want to get to that point.)

All in all, please get the vaccine. Yes, the side-effects suck. Trust me, I know! I couldn’t even really read an email yesterday because my brain kept fuzzing out over it. I went back to sleep at 2am because my eyes hurt too much looking at anything, so lying in the dark felt better. But I’m sure that in another day or two I’ll be back up at 100%. And in two weeks I’ll be fully protected. And that is so, so much better than being in the hospital on a ventilator.

So please, please, please get the vaccine when you can. For yourself, and for those who are immunocompromised who can’t. Stock up on Gatorade and painkillers / fever reducers and get the vaccine. It’s worth it.

#covid 19 #covid-19 #don't clown on this or i'll block you i won't hesitate bitch

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ddlg-matchmaking · 3 years

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My application

♡Little Submission♡ Name: prefer to not list yet... privacy reasons Age: 18 Location: NY Little Age Range: undecided, maybe 5-8 Role: little  Preferred Little Titles: love, baby, sweetheart, doll, babygirl, kitten, little one, darling, princess   About Yourself: I’ve known for years now that DDLG is a big part of who I am, due to me recently turning 18 I was never able to explore this side of myself Untill now. Big Life: I’m currently finishing my last year of high school in the EMT/EMS program at my local college. I like to read and sleep haha. I’m going to college next year to start in the direction of me becoming a pediatrician. Little Life: never much got to explore my little life/side yet. Big Interests: reading. Sleeping. Crime shows. Going out with friends. Little Interests: cheese puffs. Princess and the frog. Musicals. Cuddling. Sleeping.   ♡ Favorite Big / Little Item? My phone/fuzzy blanket ♡ Big / Little Activities? Going out with friends/watching musicals ♡ Favorite Shows / Movies? Criminal kinds/Princess and the frog ♡ Stuffies? A lot of smushmellows!! Preferred Partner Age: 19-28 Preferred Partner Type: dominant, obviously, but has to be patient and kind, I have anxiety and am extremely shy and I need someone who can work well with that. Preferred Partner Role: Daddy  What are you looking for in a Partner: I want someone to help me finally explore my little side and gain confidence and be comfortable enough to finally let myself enjoy what it is I always craved. I like when my Daddy does: rubs my head and thighs.. Things that I Dislike: pressure for sexual favors... Deal Breakers: rude and expects non stop sexual favors at the snap of their fingers. Inpatient. Too rough. Relationship Type: Sexual / Non-Sexual / TBD: sexual sometimes but not always Best way to contact me: my email listed above

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thechaseaphrodite · 4 years

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Time Warp

Chapter 01

Hi guys! How are you?

First, I would like to thank you very, very, very much for all the reviews, kudos, favorites and followings that we got only with the prologue!

I would especially like to thanks: Anita, BrittneyJ2020, calzona4me, Calzonafan123, chuckechesnut, Felicity_Olicity, helenkidd1, Kels1769, koreee.95, LarisUSB, Mariz Vida, MauraIslesJr, Sisidandan, TheMikaelsonPrince, Tifenn and WitchArabella

And of course, a special thanks to my beta reader: @tiggermay

Answering Reviews: I planned to go back so far for many reasons that will be revealed throughout the story. And yes, this will impact many things, including Sofia, but calm down, we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

I got some comments saying that Callie was out of character because she was “sleeping around”. First thing, right now Callie is single, so if she wants to sleep with all of New York, it’s her right. However, Callie’s behavior was indicative of something intentional in the story. After all, you know Callie doesn't usually spleep around. Or maybe that was just Arizona's jealousy talking. You didn't EVER see Callie with anyone. So don't be so quick to judge, guys, and hold your fire.

And, take it all with a pinch of salt.

Finally, I just wanted to say that I plan to try to post a new chapter every Thursday.

I hope you enjoy this first chapter!

When Arizona opened her eyes again, she was in a bed. She sat up slowly, her hands going to her left leg, caressing her own skin, delightedly watching her own left foot move, like it hadn’t in years.

"God..." she murmured, a smile breaking out in her face. Arizona jumped out of bed, laughing as she felt both her legs move together, wiggling her toes in absolute delight. She ran to the bathroom, smiling at her reflection, ten years younger. She giggled as she saw Kai's face over her shoulder.

“We're back,” she said to him, maintaining eye contact through the mirror. “We’re really back.”

Kai laughed softly and nodded. "We’re back".

Arizona turned squealing with joy and embraced the half-naked man. "How… How are we going to do this?" she murmured, keeping her face against her guide's chest, the scent of the meadow, not having yet left Kai's skin.

Kai shrugged. “Only you can see me Arizona. I will follow you and help you with the memories, but you’re free. This is your second chance.”

Arizona sighed turning to the mirror. "This is my chance to make things right with Calliope," she murmured lovingly. “Wait, wait. What day is it?” she muttered taking out her cell phone. She frowned, thinking it would take her a while to readjust to the technology. “January 2009... Dr. Kenley will have a heart attack...”

"Tomorrow. Your main case will be Jackson Prescott. And you will meet Miranda Bailey and Alex Karev.”

Arizona nodded. “I remember that case. It was a true miracle. I think I can do better this time. But before... Before, I need...” she looked around the apartment for her laptop. “I need to talk to Nick. He needs to get proper treatment. It's been three years since he was diagnosed, I think…”

Kai sat on Arizona’s couch, throwing a small ball against the wall while the pediatrician wrote to her best friend.

Hey Nick!

How are you? I haven't heard from you in a while... Alright, alright, I know I turned into a horror show during my residency, but now that I've finished my fellowship I should’ve a more normal life. Or as normal as a doctor's life can be.

Because I'm a doctor, remember that, Nick? Even though I'm a pediatric surgeon, I studied everything. That is, I can help you if something is wrong.

Arizona took a deep breath. Theoretically, she shouldn’t know about the tumor.

I have a feeling something is wrong. Let me help you, Nick; please contact me!

With love,

Arizona

She bit her bottom lip before clicking send. With that done, Arizona decided to explore her old apartment. The memories were coming back little by little, like little flashes through her mind. She was so focused that she didn’t even notice Kai fade into the background.

It didn't take long for her to hear the sound of a new email. She jumped back to her laptop. She took a moment to acclimate back to the old technology. She had gotten used to the smoothness and easy access to everything the technology of her time provided. This might take a minute, she thought and waited while everything was uploading while silently longing for the digitalized easiness she left behind.

Hey, Phoenix!

Your sixth sense is damn accurate, isn't it? I was trying a more unorthodox route of treatment for my little issue, but if you could feel something wrong all the way back to the States, maybe it isn’t working so well, after all. But don't worry M.D., I'm already buying my ticket to Seattle and I'll be a good lab rat for you.

Love,

Nick

Arizona laughed softly, her eyes welling up with tears that start streaming down her cheeks. Nick was alive and she was going to have enough time to save him. She sniffled a few times, trying to calm down. Nick was coming home. He would be fine. Now, she needed to focus on Jackson Prescott.

Arizona pulled out her files from Hopkins and began to study her case notes of children with short bowel syndrome, so that she could figure out how she could buy enough time for Jackson Prescott, until the transplant arrived.

Honestly, she wanted to strangle Kenley. Repeating the same procedure twelve times, what the hell was he thinking?! Three years spent torturing a poor boy instead of leaving his comfort zone!

She would arrive in the OR tomorrow with a real plan and she would show everyone why she was (or rather, would become) one of the greatest pediatric surgeons in the country.

***

Arizona arrived early at the hospital so she could organize Kenley's charts. She picked up Jackson Prescott's binder and took a deep breath, looking at Kenley's notes. She'd like to just put the boy on the transplant list, right away. But Bailey would fight her every step of the way, and this was an unnecessary fight. She could save as much bowel as possible, as well as remove the most damaged part of his liver, which would give her more reasons for the transplant request. She nodded to herself, thinking that it was a solid plan. Before leaving her new office, she smiled at Kai. Her angel was barefoot and wearing only black sweatpants, his huge white wings folded and dragging on the floor as he walked a few steps behind her.

They had talked and settled on Kai always being around (even if sometimes he disappeared from her sight completely) to guide her through the past.

Arizona skated to the General Surgery Nurse Station. She couldn't contain the huge smile on her face when she saw the young - still a resident - Miranda Bailey.

"Doctor Bailey!" she called, moving toward her and extending her hand. “Arizona Robbins” she introduced herself. The future chief of surgery looked at her hand for a moment before shaking it, with obvious hesitation on her face. "I'm taking over Doctor Kenley's patients."

“You are the peds surgeon.”

"Yeah," she confirmed nodding her head, the permanent smile on her face. "I see you’re assisting with Jackson Prescott." Arizona paused a moment to breathe. “With all due respect to Dr. Kenley, he was a wonderful physician, but I'm surprised he has insisted on this course of treatment for so long. When it wasn't - you know - working.” Arizona studied Bailey's face, watching her friend take a deep breath, clearly annoyed with her. Dammit, she had offended Bailey. Again! "Oh, no I'm not criticizing you!" She quickly amended. "You didn’t make the call."

"Yeah, but I supported the call," Bailey recited, pushing the chair away from the desk. Bailey took a deep breath and began trying to explain. “We hadn't turned the corner yet, but Kenley was sure that if we kept on doing what we were doing-”

"Jackson's case is quite severe," Arizona interrupted. They had no time for these debates.

The boy is dying Bailey. Every minute counts. I need you to trust me. Arizona thought worriedly. Bailey looked at her incredulously.

"If you're suggesting we were torturing him with useless procedures..."

Arizona smiled. Bailey was still Bailey. "A lot of senior peds surgeons believe stritoroplasty works, and sometimes they're right." That was enough for Bailey to nod in agreement with her. Arizona took a deep breath. She knew she couldn't go straight for the transplant, but that didn't mean she wasn't frustrated "So, we'll go with this, today, but with his liver disease, we need to start exploring other options." She paused a moment just to smile at Bailey. "I’ve got to run." She said pulling away. “Dr. Kenley had a big case load. I will see you at the OR!” She said before taking off and skating away.

A giggle she barely managed to hold back almost escaped her mouth. If she could, she would be skating all day. Arizona had cried a little, while putting on her heelies that morning. She was skating again. Arizona stopped before entering the locker room to prepare for Jackson's surgery… Unfortunately, she doubts the nurses would let her skate into the OR.

***

Arizona smiled as she saw Karev preparing to enter the OR. She quickly began cutting, with a precision far superior to someone who had just finished their fellowship. She took a deep breath, knowing the mess that would be inside the boy.

"Karev, can you pull the retractor more?" She asked.

Her future resident obeyed the order without hesitation, knowing exactly how much more pressure to apply. "Like this?"

She agreed. "Yeah, great."

Arizona shook her head. "Look at this. It is a mess. He'll have maybe ten centimeters of bowel when we're done here.”

“Wow, wow, wow… Can't we try Bianchi's procedure to try to save some more, then?” Bailey interrupted anxiety clear in her voice.

Arizona didn't even deign to look at the resident in front of her. “The bowels are dead, and the liver is cirrhotic. There is no way to save anything.”

"Yeah, but-"

“Dr. Bailey, this kid should have been on the transplant list a year ago. It is a miracle that he’s still alive.” Arizona took a deep breath. (“Teach them Arizona. They are your ducklings.” Norman McHale's voice, her former mentor echoing in her mind.) “This is what happens when you insist on the same procedure twelve times…. All right, what we’re going to do is try to keep as much of his bowel as possible. He’ll need to go on liver dialysis as soon as this is over. I know we have some machines here for a clinical study but keeping this child alive is a priority. And we'll need a transplant… Laura.” she called the intern who was watching the surgery. “This boy goes on the transplant list today. Go get the paperwork ready. Intestine and liver.”

“I think we should ask for another opinion.” Bailey interrupted her again.

Arizona looked at Bailey. "Laura, as an order from your attendant, go get the paperwork ready."

As soon as the OR door closed again, she moved her focus to the child in front of her. “Dr. Bailey, as soon as we get out of here, I'll give you the cell phone number of Norman McHale, the head of Pediatric Surgery at Hopkins. You'll say Arizona send you, and he'll say Jackson needs a transplant two minutes into the call.”

“There is no need to snap at me-”

"Actually, there is," Arizona replied. “You're good, Bailey. You could be a great pediatric surgeon, and you have what it takes to be chief of surgery one day. But you are still a resident. Which means you are still in training and still learning. And what you need to learn today is that repeating the same procedure twelve times won't bring different results, and Dr Kenley put this boy at risk. And in medicine, and especially in peds, your focus cannot be on you, or the attendant you're working with, but on the patient. You don't know me yet, I’m the stranger in a ponytail and you liked and trusted Kenley, but that doesn't change the facts.”

Karev looked at Bailey's astonished face. The rest of the surgery was done in silence.

***

Arizona collapsed on her couch that night, grunting. "God, I had forgotten how frustrating Bailey could be."

Kai laughed hoarsely. "I think you're the first doctor who acknowledged that she's still a resident."

Arizona sighed turning her cell phone in her hand. She missed the social networks and games on her old phone (well, future phone). And the tablets, which had greatly improved the efficiency in the hospital. She didn't like working with so much paper anymore. "Do you think she'll hate me? We’ve never really butt heads like that before…"

Kai shook his head, his black curls bobbing almost childishly. "I think she'll respect you. You're fighting for this child. She sure appreciates that."

Arizona nodded absently. It had been almost a week since Jackson's surgery had taken place. No compatible donors yet. And no excuses to talk to Calliope. Or Mark. God, she'd missed Mark. And Lexie was still there. She sighed. Kai had advised her to let things progress naturally. So, she would try to focus on Jackson for now. And soon, soon she could get closer to her friends. She fell asleep, still lying on her couch, being woken up a few hours later by the sound of her pager.

"Shit, 911."

Arizona jumped off the couch, still smiling at her left leg as she put on her sneakers and bolted out the door.

***

She spotted Bailey outside Jackson's room as she straightened her white coat.

"I'm up, I'm here." she announced trying to ward off her tiredness. "What happened?"

The resident walked fast to her, preventing her from entering the room. "Jackson's BP has gone down a little since yesterday. No big deal, but if we make a few calls and be a little pushy, we might be able to pass him a little further on the transplant list."

Arizona looked at her resident, shocked. "Dr. Bailey, you paged me 911 at 2:30 in the morning. To chat?"

Bailey looks embarrassed for a second. "You like to chat. You're chatty."

Arizona closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. "Not at 2:30 in the morning!" She looked at Bailey, worried for a moment. "Look, he's young, he's almost at the top of the list. UNOS will find a donor for him as soon as it’s possible" (or Webber will do it, just like last time) "And God knows that staying up all night chatting about it won’t help. I'll try to get some sleep, and I suggest you do the same. "

"He’s running out of time," Bailey complained in a chocked-up voice.

Arizona smiled sadly. She had almost forgotten about this insecure Bailey. "They always are. Welcome to peds" she repeated her words.

***

Arizona was preparing a coffee for herself. She had forgotten that there were twenty other children who needed her care besides Jackson. And she had just sent one of them home along with her parents, because there was simply no treatment. And she was frustrated. Because there was treatment. That hadn’t yet been finalized. Anyway, she had recommended the girl for clinical research, but her parents didn't want her to be a guinea pig. She had only been taking a few minutes to compose herself when Bailey found her.

"Okay, I made a list of the best pediatrics GAs in the country. I think between the two of us, we can get one of those guys to come here and do a TIPS procedure on him."

Arizona took a deep breath. She knew how to do a TIPS procedure. She was excellent at TIPs procedures. To hell with the technicality of… You know, not actually having learnt them yet here. She didn't need another surgeon intruding into her OR and trying to tell her what to do, ordering her and bossing her around and most importantly distracting her from her job. A job at which she excels, thank you very much. "Firstly, I am perfectly capable of performing a TIPS procedure," she began. "And secondly, doing a TIPS procedure on a boy who needs a new liver is putting a band aid in a bullet hole."

Bailey looked exasperated. "Well, do you have a better idea?"

Arizona smiled, rolling her eyes. "I have. Wait for UNOS. Trust the process. Why can't you?"

That was enough to piss Bailey off. "Because I'm tired of waiting while this child gets worse! Jackson is tired! His mother is tired! The only one who is content to sit on her ass and wiggle your fingers waiting is you!"

This ignited Arizona’s temper. "Look, I've been patient with you, I've been nice, but I am really over you constantly telling me how to do my job!”

"Well, clearly someone has to!”

"I have twenty other children-"

"And I am concerned over this one child!"

"SHUT UP"

Arizona stopped arguing with Bailey staring at the door where Karev was standing. She hadn't even noticed him there.

"Respectfully," he corrected himself, "respectfully shut up. Because we have organs," he announced with a crooked smile and a raised eyebrow.

Arizona swallowed hard. She was the attending physician. She would have to go, on a small plane, with Karev to fetch these organs.

She nodded quickly. "Dr. Bailey, you know the procedure. Go get Jackson ready. Doctor Karev we'll go get those organs."

***

Arizona was sweating cold as they boarded the plane. She sighed as she sat in the front row. Lexie had sat in the back, and she was dead, so Arizona couldn't get past the third row of any kind of aircraft.

But Lexie isn’t dead she thought, trying to breathe. Lexie is just fine. Lexie is going to be fine, if I have anything to do with it.

Since it was just the two of them, she expected Karev to choose a seat away from her, only to be surprised when he sat right beside her.

Arizona couldn't speak, fear (your leg is still here. you're safe) forming a lump in her throat.

Kai sat behind her, one hand on her shoulder. "It's fine, Arizona. You are safe." Her angel reassured her.

As the plane began to accelerate for take-off, she closed her eyes, only to be surprised when Karev gripped one of her hands, squeezing it gently. She squeezed back until the plane was high when she finally managed to breathe again. "I... Thank you."

Alex just shrugged. "Fear of flying?"

She nodded. "I ..." (I was in a plane crash. But she hasn’t. Not yet. Hopefully, not ever) "I always feel closer to death on planes than in the OR."

Karev nodded and went back to ignoring her.

"I saw Izzie the other day" (she doesn't deserve you Alex, she'll break your heart. Jo will arrive soon and she's perfect for you).

Alex nodded. "Yeah"

Arizona smiled. "It's nice. You're a beautiful couple" (you and Jo will be even better).

She let Karev spend the rest of the trip pretending to be asleep. But he took her hand again as soon as the commander warned that they would begin the descent. Arizona smiled. The golden heart was there.

***

The next time Karev spoke to her was when he saw the patient from whom they would take the organs.

"It's just a kid."

Arizona nodded, knowing what it was like to deal with the shock for the first time. "Yes. Let's get the organs."

***

Alex didn't look up during the entire procedure. Not even when she explained aloud what she was doing and the differences in anatomy between adults and children for him.

When they got back to the plane, he didn't sit next to her either.

She took a deep breath. "Spit it out Karev. Don't brood."

He glared at her. "We just got a little boy's intestine and liver out. A dead little boy! And you don't mind! You didn't even blink during the whole procedure, and now you stand there, shaking in fear of a plane, but you didn't care about that kid!"

Arizona stared at her hands in her lap shaking. "I know they unplugged that little boy. Do you think I don't get that? Do you think I don't know about the tiny coffin they're going to stick him in? I know all about the tiny coffins. I see them all the time. In my sleep.” She took a deep breath “But we move on Karev. You turn your back on the tiny coffins and move on. To the next child."

Karev turned forward still angry. But as the plane was about to descend, he reached out to her hand through the aisle.

Arizona gripped his hand tightly. Fear consumed her, but a part of her was proud. Here was her pediatric surgeon.

***

The transplant surgery was quiet and calm. Arizona took a deep breath. They had been faster this time. Jackson's treatment was more advanced.

Kai was watching over her shoulder. "Everything looks fine on my end."

Arizona smiled and nodded. "Finishing the vena cava."

Karev smiled at her. "Anastomosis looks good."

Bailey smiled. "Now all that’s left is to release the clamps."

Arizona smiled at Bailey. God, she loved how she used a stool to get taller, so she had a better view of the patient. "Do the honors, Miranda. He’s your patient."

Bailey smiled at her. "Thank you, Dr. Robbins"

She watched carefully as Bailey removed the clamps, paying attention to the dark marks, but she didn’t need to.

"Call on me!" intern Sadie Harris interrupted. "There is a spot on the duodenum."

Arizona looked at that angrily. Damn it, not again! She shook her head.

"What the hell is that ?!" Bailey snapped.

Arizona took over immediately. "Necrosis… Dammit! Get the organs out now! We'll need a new transplant, looks like we're going to do a TIPS procedure, Bailey."

"This can't be happening..." Bailey started tearfully. "Not to this little boy."

Arizona was already putting new clamps. "Dr. Harris help Dr. Bailey step away, Dr. Karev you're taking over."

Sadie immediately moved behind Bailey. "No, I can go on!" Bailey protested her eyes full of tears.

Arizona did not raise her eyes as she removed the increasingly dark organs. "That's an order, Miranda. Karev!"

Karev forcibly removed Bailey, quickly picking up the instruments. "How long to find new organs?"

"Twenty-four hours. Maybe more, since he was already on liver dialysis." Arizona warned. "Harris, Bailey, find all interns and residents. Someone in Seattle must be compatible with this boy and I want all hands-on deck, working on finding new organs. Now!”

Arizona didn't even have time to look up to see the mighty Dr. Bailey, running out of an OR to follow an order.

***

Arizona collapsed when she got home. "I did everything right!" she said tearfully to Kai. "Everything! And yet, Jackson is dying and its days earlier, which means the original donor for Jackson isn’t there!"

Kai sighed and sat beside her. "Arizona. Take a deep breath. Whatever is meant to happen will happen.”

Arizona shook her head. "He's already on the liver dialysis machine. That gives us an advantage. Still..."

And in that moment, it was as if a light bulb appeared above Arizona's head. She ran back out her door, and rushed back to the hospital, just in time to see Bailey, crying outside.

“Dr. Bailey?” she called softly.

“I want off this case.” She whispered. “Oh God, I want off this case. I want off... This little boy is going to die, and I just don’t want to be here to see it. I just don’t want… I just want off. I want off this case. I want off!”

Arizona shook her head. "Jackson is already on liver dialysis, but we can put him on peritoneal dialysis. This will delay any swelling in the brain and not require further surgery."

Bailey looked at her in surprise. "It doesn't solve the problem of..."

Arizona nodded. "No. But it will buy us time. I'll do the procedure, and don't let anyone rest until we get those organs."

***

When Arizona had set up everything to begin the dialysis procedure, Alex Karev and Izzie Stevens hurried through the door. She smiled at the two, watching as they quickly took over their positions.

"Arizona, don't let this woman work with needles. Something's not right with her." Kai murmured in her ear.

She nodded. "Doctor Stevens, switch places with Doctor Karev. He's been working with this boy for a while."

Izzie nodded in confusion, going to hold the ultrasound while Alex took over the catheter.

Arizona refocused on the boy, but she noticed Izzie looking anguished while staring at something behind her.

She began to instruct Karev in detail, on what they were doing and for what purpose.

"Shut up," she heard Izzie mutter.

"What was that?" she asked to the blonde doctor incredulously. This resident had not just told her to shut up during such a delicate procedure. She wouldn’t dare... Karev looked equally concerned.

"Nothing. Sorry Doctor Robbins" Izzie said louder this time.

Melinda Prescott entered the room. "Has UNOS said anything?"

Arizona looked at the doctor holding the ultrasound. "Dr. Stevens will call them again. And contact Dr. Bailey and see if any of our doctors were lucky." she said to the woman, who was clearly and understandably worried. Izzie was looking around anxiously and didn’t move to carry out the order. "Doctor Stevens, are you paying attention?!"

Kai shook his head. "Arizona, no. There’s something wrong with her, this doctor isn’t all here."

"Dr. Stevens, ask at the nurses' station to make the calls. And then go get some rest."

Izzie nodded, almost in a daze, propping the ultrasound on the patient's bed and leaving the room. Arizona and Karev finished the procedure in silence.

"Dr. Robbins, Izzie... She was tired. We’ve all been up all night trying to find the organs and-"

Arizona silenced Karev with a gesture. "It's okay. Just talk to her. This is a serious case, Karev."

Arizona took a deep breath, appreciating her work. "Good job here Alex." she complimented. "I'll make the rounds, try to talk to Izzie, okay?"

***

Arizona was returning from her rounds to check Jackson's PIC when George O'Malley came running toward her, Richard Webber right behind him.

"I got it Dr. Robbins!" George announced "We have the organs! OR number 3!"

Arizona looked into the room, Jackson's PIC still below the limit. She nodded. "Great job O'Malley" she said with a smile on her face.

***

The surgery went well, and Jackson's heart didn't stop. Not even once. After they sent the boy to Recovery, Arizona leaned against the wall taking a deep breath.

Miranda Bailey stopped next to Arizona. "I... I didn't think you could handle this case. After today I think you were the only person who could have ever handled it." she said softly. "I almost crossed a line today. Before O'Malley arrived... I was going to ask Derek Shepherd to let a man die so I could save this boy. But I didn't break my oath. Thanks to you."

Arizona laughed softly and took Bailey's hand. "You are an excellent doctor, Miranda. I know you, and when it comes down to it, you will always do the right thing… And thank you. For trusting me."

Arizona gave Bailey one last soft smile and turned back to staring at the walls quietly, cherishing these few moments of peace and letting the immense feelings of gratefulness flow through her, still in awe of this new chance at life she was given. She sighed softly and let her head fall back against the wall, content in the feelings of achievement and camaraderie shared between her and the woman who would one day be one of her closest friends.

#greys anatomy #arizona robbins #callie torres #fanfic: callie/arizona #timewarp

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chobimoy-interior · 4 years

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Mother Knows it All

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flowerfan2 · 5 years

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Hāʻule Lau (Fallen Leaves) - Ch. 3/3

McDanno, M, A03, 5400 words. Complete.

The radiation poisoning Steve suffered years ago has finally caught up with him. But they're getting through it, together.

Chapter 3

Danny’s at the dining room table, tabbing back and forth on his laptop between real estate listings and a detailed email to Grace. She’s moving back to the island in a few months, and he’ll be damned if he can’t help her find the perfect place to live. Someplace with a nice yard for Annie, and not too far from her job at the university, or from him and Steve.

Steve.

And with that, Danny loses his focus on house hunting and feels that familiar ache start up again. On a good day, he can barely go ten minutes without worrying about Steve, but today it’s been even worse. Tomorrow they’ve got an important visit with Steve’s doctor.

It has to go well, Danny thinks. It has to. Not just because they’d like it to; they need it to. Danny doesn’t think Steve can make it through any more treatment.

Steve tries to be upbeat, to be optimistic. He works hard to put on a good front for Danny. But Danny sees how he folds when he thinks Danny isn’t watching.

Steve shifts on the couch, and Danny immediately goes over to him, perching himself on the coffee table, a hand on Steve’s shoulder. Steve can be disoriented when he wakes up from a nap. Ever since he panicked and fell off the couch, Danny’s tried to keep a closer eye on him. The moment Steve stopped protesting and gave in to Danny’s constant hovering Danny had to step away – the irony of it all – and go pound his fist on the bathroom sink for a minute, cursing at yet another sign of how this disease was eating away at his husband.

Steve blinks as he wakes, and carefully sits up. His strength has slowly been returning this past month since his last treatment ended. He’s a less tentative with his movements now, a shadow of his old confidence returning. But there’s an undercurrent of fear to every positive development – they both know Steve’s might only be feeling better because the meds have stopped, not necessarily because the cancer is gone. While his scans had looked good a month ago, the big question is what’s happened since then.

Danny sits next to Steve on the couch and presses himself against Steve’s arm. Steve sighs and leans his head on Danny’s shoulder.

“I suppose you’re going to tell me I have to eat dinner,” Steve says eventually, a hint of warmth in his rough voice.

“That’s generally what people do, this time of day,” Danny replies.

“Boring.”

“I could make pancakes.”

Steve twists and smiles at Danny, his eyes heartbreakingly bright. “Yeah? I’d eat pancakes.”

Steve excuses himself to the bathroom while Danny goes into the kitchen to get started. He refrains from watching the clock, or standing outside the bathroom door to make sure that Steve hasn’t fallen down and cracked his head open on the sink, and by the time he’s got the batter made up Steve has joined him in the kitchen.

“I want chocolate chips,” Steve says, examinging the batter. “And walnuts.”

“Yes, sir,” Danny says. “Stir this, I’ll see what I can find.” The batter doesn’t really need stirring, but it gives Steve something to do, and he accepts the bowl and spoon. Danny tugs the chocolate chips out of the back of the pantry and hands them to Steve, who dumps a huge pile into the batter.

“Those are going to be more chip than pancake,” Danny comments, lifting cereal boxes out of the way as he searches for walnuts.

“It’s okay. Sounds good. I haven’t had pancakes in a while.”

Danny freezes with one hand on the pantry door. When did he last make pancakes for Steve? Did he put the right amount of chocolate chips in that time? What if this is the last time he makes pancakes for him – what if he never has a chance to get it right?

“Danny?” Steve puts a hand on his shoulder.

“We don’t have any walnuts,” Danny chokes out. Steve moves closer, his hand squeezing tighter.

“It’s alright,” Steve says. “It’ll be fine. Danny. It’s fine.”

Neither of them are talking about the pancakes anymore.

After their pancake dinner, Danny makes Steve sit with him and look at the houses he’s marked as possibilities for Grace. Steve has strong opinions about neighborhoods and school districts. He’s distressed to learn that – shocker – things have changed since he was in elementary school, and he doesn’t automatically know which sections of town feed into which schools.

“At some point you’re going to let Grace weigh in on this too, right?” Steve asks, paging through Danny’s careful notes. “And maybe Mike?”

Mike is Grace’s husband, a tall, dark-haired young man, with an easy sense of humor hidden under a quiet demeanor. He’s also a pediatrician, which helps calm Danny’s nerves about Annie – she’s clearly in good hands.

“Nah,” Danny says, smirking. “Mike knows better than to argue with me. Although,” Danny sits back in his chair and frowns, “it probably makes school districts irrelevant.”

“You think they’ll send her to private school?” Steve asks.

Danny shrugs. “Probably.” They spend a few more minutes looking at houses, debating whether having a master bedroom on the first floor is a good or bad idea with a baby in the house, and then Steve yawns, an impressive jaw-cracking display.

“Bed?” Danny asks.

A nervous look passes over Steve’s face, because going to sleep means waking up and facing tomorrow.

“I’ll come with you,” Danny says, and Steve nods.

“Thanks,” he says softly.

They put on sleep pants and t-shirts and climb under the covers. Steve shifts around for a while, having trouble getting comfortable, and finally Danny just grabs him and hugs him tight. The hair growing back on Steve’s head is soft against Danny’s cheek.

Steve falls asleep quickly, rolling away from Danny, so Danny texts with Grace for a while. When he finally drifts off, he dreams of Grace showing him her new house, a castle on a mountaintop, with labyrinthine halls leading to a giant bedroom with windows stretching from floor to ceiling. Steve is lounging on the canopied bed, healthy and strong and full of mischief. It’s a good dream.

Danny wakes to an empty room. He glances at the clock – it’s only two a.m. – and shuffles out of bed. Steve is just outside, on the upstairs lanai. He’s leaning on the rail, looking out towards the dark water.

“Hey,” Danny says quietly from the doorway. “Can’t sleep?”

“I’m fine,” Steve says firmly. “Go back to sleep, Danny.”

Danny hesitates. It’s been a constant challenge for him since this whole thing began, knowing when to give Steve the space he asks for, and when to push through Steve’s walls. But right now, even though Steve might be stressed and worried, he’s got good reason, and he’s safe enough only ten feet away from Danny.

“You’ll let me know if you want company?” Danny asks.

Steve turns to face him, but the night is cloudy and Danny can’t make out his expression. “Yeah, Danno. Thanks.”

The next morning Steve comes downstairs wearing cargo pants and a dark blue short-sleeve button-up, instead of his usual sweats and t-shirt. It’s like a flashback to a better time. Danny doesn’t mention how the pants are hanging off him, just gives him a big hug and a sloppy kiss on his freshly shaven cheek. “You look great, babe,” Danny says into his ear, and Steve shrugs him off.

Danny still grabs Steve’s jacket when they head to the car. Steve may want to fake it ‘til he makes it, but Danny isn’t going to let him catch a chill in the doctor’s office.

They’re ridiculously early for their meeting with the oncologist, but when Danny tries to distract Steve with a dumb game on his phone, Steve just glares at him. Fine, he thinks, work yourself up into a panic, see if I care.

This doesn’t work, of course, because he does care. Danny’s contemplating having Grace call Steve and put Annie on the phone when the receptionist finally tells them it’s their turn.

They sit in the chairs facing the doctor’s desk, and Danny grabs Steve’s hand. Steve doesn’t protest.

“I’ll get right to it,” Dr. Akana says, and Danny feels like all the blood is draining from his body. “It’s good news. There’s no evidence of disease.”

She keeps talking, but Danny doesn’t hear her, only those miraculous words echoing over and over. No evidence of disease. It’s the best possible finding at this point. It’s Steve’s best chance at lasting remission.

Danny feels Steve’s grip on his hand tighten. Steve’s staring intently at his knees, and he’s sucking in deep breaths of air.

“Hey, hey,” Danny says, scooting closer to put a hand on Steve’s back. Steve looks up at him, his eyes wide. “She said it’s good. It’s good. You’re gonna be okay.”

Dr. Akana comes around and crouches down next to Steve, talking to him quietly. When he calms, she stands and smiles at them. “I’m sure you’ll have a lot of questions for me, and I have some instructions for you. But for now, go home, get some rest. Give me a call later this afternoon, or tomorrow, whenever you’re ready.”

The walk from the doctor’s office out to the car is a blur, Danny hardly aware of anything but Steve’s hand in his. When they climb into the car and sit down, neither of them move for a minute.

“No more chemo?” Steve finally asks, as if to make sure he got it right.

“No more chemo,” Danny replies. Not now, anyway. Not for as long as things stay this way. Steve’ll have to come back in three months for more tests, but for now -- no evidence of disease.

They drive home in silence, Steve tapping his fingers on his knee, and then grabbing Danny’s hand again. Danny squeezes it, and Steve shoots him a glance, a quick smile that fades away almost immediately.

“Wanna stop for something to eat?” Danny asks, as they approach the stretch of road with Steve’s favorite diner.

Steve shakes his head. “Just want to go home.”

Danny agrees. He still feels like he’s almost shaking, like the adrenaline rush after a firefight.

Inside the house, Steve stands in the living room, hands thrust into his pockets. He looks lost. Danny gets him a glass of water from the kitchen, and Steve nods his thanks, drinking it down in long gulps. He sees Steve stare at the empty glass, almost in disbelief, as if he’s surprised he managed to drink it all.

“You’re stronger already,” Danny says quietly. “And you’re gonna keep getting stronger.”

Steve lets the glass hang from his fingers and looks up at Danny. “I can’t believe it.”

Danny takes the glass and puts it on the coffee table, then reaches for Steve. “I know.” He puts his arms around him, hands going up around his neck and pulling him close. “But you did it. You made it through. The cancer’s gone.”

Steve sags against Danny. He falls back on the couch, bringing Danny with him in a tangled heap, and buries his head in Danny’s neck.

“What is it, babe?”

There’s a long pause, and Danny hopes Steve will give him an answer, talk about whatever’s going on in that brain of his. If he doesn’t, that’s okay too. Danny not sure he can articulate what’s going on in his own head right now.

“Danny… I’m still so scared.”

Danny clutches at Steve, tugging at him until they are more or less lying on the couch, wrapped up together. “Me too.”

They lay there like that for a little while, breathing into each other’s skin. Danny doesn’t notice when he starts to feel less like he’s about to dissolve, but eventually Steve shifts and pushes up on an elbow. His eyes are red, but his gaze is clear.

“We’re a pair of idiots, aren’t we?” Steve asks, fondly brushing a finger against the buzzed hair over Danny’s ear.

“Nah.” Danny presses a quick kiss to Steve’s lips. “We’re alright.”

“We’re alright,” Steve repeats. “We’re alright,” he says again, with more conviction. “So why are we…?”

Danny shrugs. He’s gotten used to the tsunami of emotions being with Steve brings. Given what they’ve been through lately, he’s going to cut them a break. They’ve been scared for so long, they can’t expect it to go away in an instant.

And right now, he doesn’t want to dwell on it. Because suddenly there’s a light in Steve’s eyes that Danny hasn’t seen a while, and that deserves to be acknowledged. “What, you think we should be celebrating?”

“Maybe.”

Danny sits up, hands still stroking down Steve’s body. He doesn’t really want to let go. “What did you have in mind? Steaks on the grill? I could run to the store. Get some beer, too.” It’s been ages since they’ve kept beer in the house.

Steve smiles at him, a little shy. “I was actually thinking of something else.”

It’s embarrassing how quickly Danny stands and yanks Steve up the stairs. He’d apologize, backtrack and reassure Steve that no, of course he isn’t desperately horny after going so long without, but Steve is grinning like a madman and employing all his ninja skills to get Danny’s shirt off before they even make it to the bedroom. Danny trips himself getting out of his pants, and Steve grabs him, thumbs digging into his hips and divesting him of his boxers at record speed.

Steve gets naked too, with Danny’s help, and they both dive into bed, eyes and hands roaming over sensitized skin. There’s a moment when Steve stalls as Danny runs a hand down his chest. Danny knows without asking that Steve is worried about how he looks, skinny as a teenager and lacking all the gorgeous muscles he used to be so proud of. But Danny kisses his collarbone, murmuring “love you” and “beautiful” as he nips and teases, and Steve relaxes into his touch.

Working his way down, Danny licks and sucks on Steve’s nipple, playing the other with his fingers. Steve digs his fingers into Danny’s ass, and Danny’s whole body throbs in response. Danny isn’t sure, really, how far this is going to go, despite the frenzy they’re both in, but then Steve’s hips thrust up at him and he zones out. Steve gets a hand around his cock, firm and sure, and starts to stroke. Danny hears himself keen with pleasure, and Steve gives a soft laugh in triumph.

After a few more minutes Steve rolls them so Danny is on his back, and Danny feels Steve’s length press against his side. He’s hard, and Danny has to pause for a minute, slow down and grab Steve’s face with both hands and kiss him with all he’s got. Steve kisses back hot and fierce, sliding over Danny until they’re both pressed together, rocking and grinding until sparks are shooting across Danny’s vision and he’s coming in a wet gush.

“Oh fuck, oh my god, you’re amazing,” Danny breaths out, sliding a hand down to find Steve’s cock, hard and leaking. “Your turn, come on, come for me, babe, you can do it.”

Steve is leaning over Danny, panting and thrusting into Danny’s hand, and then he comes with a long moan. He collapses on top of Danny, still shaking, and Danny pets him, hands in his hair and sliding down his back in smooth strokes.

“Holy crap, babe,” Danny says, still catching his breath. “I did not expect that. That was… fantastic. Wow.” He cups Steve’s face, runs a thumb over his eyebrow. “You okay?”

Steve opens his eyes and blinks at Danny. “Yeah, Danno. Yeah.” He beams, and there’s no better sight in the world. “I’m okay.”

#H50 #McDanno #Danny Williams #Steve McGarrett #Cancer #Recovery #my fic

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searchingforadonis2-blog · 5 years

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Baby Sleep Resources

Enjoying a sleep with the baby sounds very relaxing for a mother but awaking with a crying and restless baby creates disturbances for a mother. Parents do their best to get their baby sleep but sometimes nothing seems like working. It’s a more disturbing situation for the mothers having their first baby. They do not have any previous experience how to tackle with such a situation. Tired parents are much affected by awaking throughout the night with the baby.

Parents can cope with such situation by getting to know about the baby sleep resources and sleep training guidance for tired parents. There are some basic baby sleep resources that help a baby to get to sleep and let the tired parents be fresh for the next day working.

Here are listed some good sources for baby sleep and certainly go a long way if applied in a good way.

Baby sleep experts

Baby sleep experts know well how to soothe a crying baby. They help the tired parents up to a great extent in getting their baby to sleep. they know all the techniques and methods to let a baby enjoy a good sleep

Sleep consultants

There are some individuals and entities available that provide consultancy over baby sleep. You may have a call to let yourself know what can help your baby sleep well .

Online sleep resources

Internet is one of the best resources available to the tired parents for getting their baby to sleep. Many websites are working in this area of parents’ interest. A membership of these websites proves very beneficial by getting regular newsletters and email for helping baby get to sleep.

Co-sleeping with your baby

Sometimes, it is very magical to co-sleep with the baby. It creates a sense of safety and association in a baby. A baby who is restless because of any fear easily goes to sleep when you join him in sleeping.

Beautiful lullaby music

Babies love their favorite lullaby. It works great on a baby.

Online articles and guidance

Parents can get help from online resources available. These include online articles over the internet that helps your baby sleep well and guide you how to get the same easily.

Sleep advices

You may get sleep advices from your baby’s doctor or pediatrician. The advice can also be had from other parents. This is really a helpful resource for new parents.

Tired parents can not give their 100 percent performance in any walk of life. They mostly have to make a compromise. Awaking with the baby reduces their efficiency. Here are some methods available for the tired parents training.

· The first method to be explained her is the crying down method. It is a bit hurting to leave your baby crying until he sleeps but remember mothers, it is a very good technique to help you avoid future disturbance.

· The second method is called the controlled crying method. Just leave your baby in the crib after feeding well. Do this before a baby feels much sleepy. It would create a habit of going to sleep as you provide the environment.

· The third method is used in the case of babies under six weeks and having more than 10 lbs of weight. This method is called core night method. In this method, you try to develop a habit of awaking with your baby without feeding in the night. this works and keeps a baby sleeping till 7 in the morning.

Bay sleep training are available to the parents. They should get these training to go with their baby. You are enjoying a baby now, so you need to accommodate your time for your baby.

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ashencreature · 5 years

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Important Update for partners across the board

This is long, and I’m sorry, but I just wanted everyone to know what’s going on. Honestly, I’m not expecting anyone to actually waste time reading through all this, but it’s just so I can try to ease my own anxiety in case the worst case scenario does come and I left some sort of explanation.

Ok, so, some of you know there’s been a lot going on for me at home in the last 3 or 4 years. But everything’s kind of getting worse by day and at this point, I’m not sure what to do anymore.

When I was 14, I moved in with my dad. We moved quite a few times in the first few years I was with him. Hell, that first year alone, I was in 3 different schools. All for Freshman year. And the last house we were in that year, we stayed in for maybe 2?

But when I was 16, the factory my dad worked at closed and he lost his job. That’s kind of where all this starts. Instead of getting a new job, he decided he wanted to spend all day drinking with his new friends and occasionally doing odd jobs for them or things with them. We had to move out of that house, take my dog to the shelter, and move into a trailer. It was only supposed to be for a year. But nearly 14 years later, and we’re still here.

Now the landlord here is a real prick. More like a slumlord if you ask me. He jacks the rent up for the dumbest reasons and acts like he’s god’s gift to humanity or some shit. He told us himself, and had the park manager tell us, that we couldn’t fix our roof to stop the leaking because the walls would collapse of we tried to move it. So literally the entire 14 years we’ve been here, the roof has been leaking. My dad tried everything he could think of, short of tearing it out and redoing it, to fix it. Nothing worked.

And in that time, the entire back half of the house got destroyed by mold. My bedroom, being the very last room, was the first to go. I think I slept in it for a year? And ever since, I’ve had to sleep in the living room because the walls had to be torn out due to the mold. It’s right down to the studs and the scant insulation. It’s been like that for over 10 years. Well, now the mold is spreading and getting worse. The bathroom is destroyed pretty much. The back hallway is the same. The floor’s rotting away, and the toilet is falling through the floor; again.

Now, I think my dad went to the garage he was at for the first time when I was maybe 18? I don’t remember exactly. I do remember being in junior year and my friends either having to buy me lunch, share theirs with me, or pray that we actually were cooking in cooking class; which happened a lot less than you’d think. Other than that, I didn’t eat. Senior year was a little better because I at least would get money dropped off to eat. Not that the cafeteria had a lot of choices for me to pick from. I pretty much ate nothing but gross excuse for pizza and occasionally pretzels, fries, or Belgian waffles.

Anyway, so senior year rolls around and we’re all prepping for college. At the time, I wanted to go to AMDA for musical theater, and managed to get an audition there for that March. I had to force my dad to go to the meeting about FAFSA and to fill out the paperwork. Which he said he did, but I don’t believe it because he says they denied me. And I’ve never heard of FAFSA being denied. Not that it mattered anyway, because I bombed the audition and didn’t get in. So graduation rolls around and all my friends go off to college. I haven’t seen or spoken to most of them since. They never stop to visit when they come home and they never try to reach out on Facebook. Eventually, I got sick of being the one to initiate and maintain all conversations, so I just gave up.

The 2 friends I still had at that time helped me to get jobs when I was 20/21 and living with them, in 2011/2012. This was because 2 of us and their mom were in a car accident on the way to my friend’s college at the time. We all nearly died. My friend had a concussion, their mom needed surgery, and I nearly got impaled by a fake Christmas tree. I ended up going to the hospital a lot later than they did with a copy of the report in the doctor’s hand and got told I wasn’t in an accident I had the flu, go home. Anyway, so after my friend’s mom’s surgery, I moved in to help around the house and look after my friend’s youngest sister. These jobs weren’t the best; Wendy’s and the deli department of one of the local grocery stores. But it was money.

For all the good it did. Because by that time, my dad had quit working at the garage. So here I was, paying for rent, bills, gas, food, and child support for my brother. All on $200 a week. My anxiety was driving me insane. And I came to find out that my dad was going in and threatening one of the store managers, which was probably why the guy was such a scumbag to me. But I digress. So I was in the store for a month shy of 2 years. I started at maybe $7.45 or $7.50. an hour when I started. It was slightly over the minimum wage at the time. By the time I left, 2 years later mind you, I wasn’t even making $8, and I was working full time hours while only being part time. Everything that went wrong got blamed on me, even when it was my day off and I wasn’t anywhere near the store. I liked most of the people that I worked with, even if I hated the job, and the assistant department manager became a really good friend. She was 2 years older than me, and we hung out a lot. I’d spend the night at her house, I was at her wedding, I’ve been to her daughter’s birthday parties and so on.

At one point, I was supposed to get training to be an assistant specialty cheese shop lead. They sent me to one class, told me about another, but never gave me any more details about it, even when I asked. Then they said they were going to train me over there, but never did. That was just the first of a long list of grievances. The culmination of which was on a Sunday night, our busiest day of the week. There was just me and 1 other guy in the department. Then 1 lady in the hot food section, 1 lady in the beer store, and no one in the bakery. But they expected me to take care of all 4 departments and still wait on the 20+ people that were at the counter the whole night. And I had an order to make and put away for the assistant department manager. Needless to said, I had a panic attack. I told my partner, and both of the other people nearby. They told the assistant store manager, and he didn’t care. They made me work for 3 and a half hours, through a panic attack, without a break. I couldn’t breathe and was on the verge of fainting. I finally had enough and told one of the ladies that I didn’t care what the store manager said, I was going to get my inhaler in the break room and get a drink at the water fountain, or I was going to faint.

A few days later, I got called to the main office to speak to the store manager, who I usually didn’t have a problem with. And unfortunately, since my anger receptors are evidently attached to my tear ducts, I broke down in tears when I wanted to be furious. He basically told me that I was going to the bakery or I was getting fired. So the next day, I quit. There was a lot of other stuff too but that doesn’t really matter. Including being so sick that I couldn’t eat for over a week, fainting in the back room because they wouldn’t let me take a day off, and not being able to talk for over a month. The assistant department manager almost called the ambulance when I fainted, but you know, I’m clearly the problem here.

So there we were, I didn’t have a job. My dad didn’t have a job. I was 23, and feeling just as helpless as I did at 16. I spent a year filling out job applications for a bunch of different things from craft stores to fast food to jewelry stores, but never heard back from any of them. The only interview I got was for Chipotle. But they wouldn’t even hire me. Naturally, cue the anxiety and depression getting worse. And around this time, our electric got shut off. This was in May I believe because it was just before my birthday.

At that time I started thinking about going back to school. So I looked at schools and degrees you could do all online, because I knew I could never afford to go on campus. And, as most of you know, I started at CTU in July of that year. Now the program I did was an accelerated one, which meant I could finish gen ed classes faster, be done faster, and lower my tuition. I did as many as I could, but only my admission adviser was any help. My actual student adviser was never around, never responded to my emails, never called me back. But whatever.

So for 3 years I spent pretty much all day, every god damn day doing schoolwork. I’d be at my local Dunkin from 3 in the afternoon until they closed at 11. Sometimes I’d be working even later next door because I still had stuff to do. The first year and a half I was fine. It didn’t bother mine, just like working didn’t bother me at first. But then, a year and a half after I started, I got sick. I couldn’t eat anything without my stomach cramping up and getting the worst migraines. It got so bad that one day at Dunkin, I felt like I was going to puke, and got up to go to the bathroom and almost fainted. Personally, I think it’s a combination of anxiety, depression, Celiac/gluten intolerance, anemia, and asthma. But I don’t know for sure because I haven’t had a doctor since I was going to the pediatrician. And even if I did, can’t afford it.

So I’ve just been getting sicker and sicker. I was 125 pounds in January of this year. 11 months later, and I’m down to 108.5 the last time I checked. I think the lowest I hit was 107, and that was all 6 months after the weight loss started. There’s times it’ll go back up, but I can’t get past 110 or 111 tops. Neighbors who used to live down the road came to visit earlier this week, and all the lady could say was how skinny I got. I’m like yeah, malnourishment’ll do that to you.

And to make things worse, my dad at some point went back to the garage and was working again, so things were slightly better. I say slightly in the loosest way possible. But, just after Christmas last year, my dad quit again. I’ve seen him apply to 1 job and go to 1 interview in the year since. Other than that, he’s been collecting scrap and doing shit for people who refuse to pay, including the landlord. In the last 7 or 8 months, despite how many times I’ve told him that my refund checks from the school aren’t free money I can spend however I want, my dad’s made me spend it. The $5,000 I had that was supposed to set me ahead for my student loans are gone. And I’m $5,000 deeper in the hole than I should be. Which means instead of being like $45 or 50 grand in debt I’m about $55 grand.

Then, because we haven’t had electricity in almost 4 years, and with the mold problem, everything in the house is ruined. We had only cold water, and I took cold showers for as long as I could. But last winter, the shower pipes froze and burst. So even if I wanted to, I can’t do that. Plus, because we can’t use the washer and dryer, or hook up a generator thanks to the scumbag landlord, or afford a laundromat, our clothes have gone unwashed for over a year. Most of mine were sitting in the tub, which got filled with mold and bugs. I have practically no clothes left, with no way to wash them, and no way to shower unless I go to someone else’s house. And even when I do, I still don’t feel clean. Even after washing my hair 4 times or more.

We were supposed to move into the place next door and tear this one down. But the landlord and my dad made a deal that he’d give it to us for the cost of the title transfer. Then suddenly, he wanted $600, then like $800 or $1,000. But he won’t stop asking about it, no matter how many times we tell him no. Him and his wife keep trying to say we’re $5,000 behind on rent which isn’t possible because with what rent is now, you can’t even get $5,000 as a total for a whole year, and this last year is the only time we fell behind because everything else was caught up. He gave us a bill full or errors. Payments that were made aren’t marked. Payments that weren’t made are. There’s random charges after the monthly rent cycle. Which I think are from when he was bitching about us paying the taxes for a place we didn’t even own and was still in his name. He told us we can’t run the generator for power because it was too loud. Though the noise ordinance here is 11, and it was always off by then. And when one of the neighbors asked how we were supposed to live, he told them it “Wasn’t his problem”.

So when I started getting really sick, and unable to leave the house to go to Dunkin for school because I was too gross, the neighbors next door let us run an extension cord over to their place. Not a lot. Just enough for the light in the living room, the fan, a mini fridge, and to plug in my phone and computer. OH WANNA HEAR A GOOD ONE. THE LANDLORD TOLD MY DAD 3 SEPARATE TIMES IF I NEED TO PLUG IN MY COMPUTER TO GET A LANTERN. YES THE OLD FASHIONED OIL OR CANDLE TYPE LANTERN. WHICH YOU CAN TOTALLY PLUG AN ELECTRONIC COMPUTER INTO. So because of that, I was able to finish school and graduate in June.

But, because I still can’t bathe or do laundry and have no clothes, I still can’t go to interviews. If I walked in with my arms, face, neck, and legs literally black from dirt, and reeking to high heaven, I’d fucking get laughed out of the place. My dad still refuses to get a real job and insists on hauling scrap or doing shit for people who won’t pay at all, or want to pay less than it’s worth. And guess what’s due this week? You got it, my first loan payment.

I can’t figure out how much I have to pay, work on getting it lowered or delayed, or even access my account info because there’s an issue with my birthday apparently, and they can’t find it even though they have my name and social and keep emailing me. I’ve been telling him this for months, and he still won’t come with me to try and sort it out. Because what he needs has to taken care of then and there and everything else can fuck all. He blew up at me the other day about it, blaming me for going, leaving him with payments, for my mother walking out 20 years ago even though they hated each other, and pretty much for being born. Because he resents having to take care of kids he made the choice to have. Not like I asked to be born, and I’ve been wishing I was dead since I was 9, but whatever.

Anyway.

So, the neighbor’s dad was diagnosed with lung cancer over the summer. Like 2 weeks later, he was dead. And she’s struggling just as much. We’ve been trying to help her and she’s been trying to help us. But her ex was paying her rent and some of the other bills until she found a job because they have a young son. But he started refusing to do that, which I honestly wouldn’t be surprised it if was the landlord’s doing cause they were talking. And he was telling her to “pull the plug” on us. And his wife started harassing her about rent like 2 weeks after her father died. Then, she went to Domestic relations earlier this week and then like the day after she goes, her ex somehow gets an emergency custody on the little guy. They came for him yesterday.

She’s most likely going to have to move, which means that we’ll be losing power and internet unless we can figure something out to get our power back on. But even then, the bill’s supposedly at least $1300, and that won’t fix the internet problem.

So... Needless to say, if I disappear suddenly in the near future, that’s why. I don’t want to go. I’ve spent too much time here, made too many friends, and put too much work into my muses. But everything is going to shit all at once. It’s just been building and building for the last 3 years, especially the last year, but my dad refuses to see and do anything about it. Instead, he’d rather blame everything on me and expect me to fix it. As if my mental health wasn’t bad enough from childhood abuse and being sick and stressed all the time. Now I’m too fucking scared to leave the house. I haven’t been outside since the midterms when I went to vote. But I honestly don’t know what’s going to happen now. And I just wanted everyone to know that I love them. And even if I do disappear, I still plan on keeping my muses and coming back when I can. Granted Tumblr doesn’t die before then. In which case the only blog i’m worried about losing is Elizabeth’s because of all the worldbuilding, metas, and headcanons I’ve done.

#Outofbelief

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samwell-actually · 6 years

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Holsom Fic-Rec

Although I have my all-time favorite OMGCP fic bookmarked on my Ao3 page, I wanted to compile a master list of all of my favorite OMGCP Ao3 fic to have in one place on my tumblr. And since I’m that neurotic, I thought it might also be nice to break-up each ship as well:

Two Minutes for Holding | halfabreath One-Shot, 2k Ransom is a team physician and Holster is a referee. They first meet on the ice during a particularly physical Aces v. Falcs game.

not funny | applecrumbledore One-Shot, 9k This whole thing feels so weird, like they're betraying some clause of the homosocial bro code that says it's only for fun, you can't actually be gay, like they're letting someone down. But on the other hand, being with each other is the most natural thing they've ever done. Like a chemical reaction, or two halves of something whole, or one of those hand puzzles where the two pieces of metal are all twisted around each other, or the logical and satisfying conclusion of a really good book.

Score | emmagrant01 One-Shot, 12k Ransom and Holster like to score goals for each other, and they like to take care of each other. It was probably just a matter of time before those two things became entangled.

What I Wanted Was to Fall Asleep | halfabreath One-Shot, 5k The gods are real, which everyone knows, but when they’re not fighting among themselves they’re usually partying and humans have generally learned to accept their meddling without too much complaining. Ransom just never thought he’d actually know someone who’d been god-touched and he never, ever expected that it would be Holster. Alternatively: Holster becomes a tree.

Five Things Adam Birkholtz Learns in HDFS 332: Healthy Couple Relationships | EllyAvon Completed Multi-Chapter, 6k HDFS 332: Healthy Couple Relationships is just the night class Holster is taking with Lardo to fulfill one of his core requirements. He doesn't expect it to drastically change his life. OR: The Weirdest Healthy Relationships PSA Ever. OR: Wholesome Holsom

In a Different Frame | sunfair One-Shot, 4k Holster is determined to become somebody's boyfriend. Too bad he's kind of an idiot. He figures it out, though.

BFFWB | emmagrant01 One-Shot, 7k Ransom's schedule this semester leaves no time for a sex life. Holster has a solution for that. (Set fall 2014)

Seasonal Drinks | rhysiana Completed Multi-Chapter, 1k An AU in which Ransom and Holster never met in college. Thank goodness for the local coffee shop.

someone as good for me as you | astrolesbian One-Shot, 7k “So tell me,” Justin’s mother says, all business, “is your boy going to propose?” “What, Jack?” Justin says, and doesn’t really think much of it, because his mother eats up the details of Jack and Bitty and JackandBitty like Holster eats up rom-coms. His mother sighs, and he can practically hear her rolling her eyes. “No, baby, I meant Adam.”

what is the meaning of this? | kleinergruenerkaktus Multi-Part Series, 13k Ransom has a system, and it was working just fine before Holster came along.

There Were Fireflies | Schuyler One-Shot, 3k Holster has never been weird about shit like this before. They’ve been friends for, what? Almost a decade? And Holster has never said anything bad about guys who date other guys. Hell, they lived in a house with Jack and Bits. But Ransom goes on two dates with a guy and Holster goes ballistic.

blink back to let me know | nighimpossible One-Shot, 4k Justin is a medical student in Boston and Holster is working in New York.Things were a lot easier before they became real people.

Here’s a Man in Evenin’ Clothes | halfabreath One-Shot, 5k Ransom's estimating that they've got another 3.75 hours until the last people trickle out of the Haus. 3.75 hours, 225 minutes.Holster grins, flushed and disheveled and handsome as Justin has ever seen him, and suddenly he knows he's not going to be able to wait another 225 minutes before kissing him. Or: Epikegster toga porn

Keep It | petals42_tumbler (rosepetals42) Completed Multi-Chapter, 18k At the start of their senior year, Ransom is dating March and Holster is okay. Of course he is. Except when he's not.

cabin fever | theghostofjamespotter One-Shot, 5k “Dude. You didn’t score a single goal.” He’s beaming, chin resting on Ransom’s thigh. “And you came in like, under five minutes.” or, the forfeit fifa fic no one has asked for. just bros being bros and somehow accidentally hooking up.

How to Romance a Hockey Player | Tintinnabulation_of_the_Bells One-Shot, 7k After Holster comes out, Ransom needs a plan. A plan to make his best friend fall in love with him. What could possibly go wrong?

the lucky ones | screamlet Completed Multi-Chapter, 17k They made the decision to drive to Myrtle Beach when Holster found the fucking sweetest cottage near the beach.

guard/hit/hammer | halfabreath One-Shot, 2k Justin Oluransi is a gold medalist, and he has no idea what he's doing. (Ransom and Holster's first kiss happens on a tiny couch on the world's biggest stage.)

first love, late spring | lehtonen One-Shot, 12k “Right.” Ransom still looks serious, but there’s a sinister glint in his eye that Holster gloomily recognises as contemplation. “What’s in it for us?”Holster whips his head round to stare at him so fast his neck twinges in three different places. “Nothing is in it for us,” he hisses sotto voce, “or did you not hear the part where we’d be dating?”

Ransom and Holster’s Guide to Shennanigans | Tintinnabulation_of_the_Bells One-Shot, 8k Ransom and Holster have been together since June, but they keep it low key. Maybe even a little too low key. Shenanigans ensue because, hey, it's awfully hard for the team to set them up when they've already been dating for months.

Just bros being bros | blue_eyed, growlery One-Shot, 7k Rans and Holster have a busy semester, so they start planning their bro-time. But its not like they're dating, right?

all my time is yours as is mine | halfabreath One-Shot, 1k No one knows how long Holster's been alive. No one knows how much time Ransom has left. Everyone knows about things. Not everyone has one, but everyone that does has a different word for it. Gifts. Abilities. Talents. Purpose. Superpowers. Quirks. Most things are small, but sometimes, in very rare circumstances, they’re all encompassing and terrifying. There’s a reason Ransom and Holster call them curses.

Give a Little Bit (of Your Time to Me) | Tintinnabulation_of_the_Bells Completed Multi-Chapter, 21k In a world where Adam Birkholtz never went to Samwell, he loses a beer pong bet to Lardo and winds up refereeing a rec hockey game for one freshly broken-hearted Justin Oluransi. For once in his life, Justin is totally out of his league.

Adam Birkholtz's Foolproof Guide to the Perfect Birthday | akadiene One-Shot, 6k On March 28th, 2016, Justin Oluransi, co-captain of the Samwell Men’s Hockey team and love of Holster’s life, is turning 23. It's also the day Holster dies.

Always Halfway to Go | halfabreath Incomplete Multi-Chapter, 33k While at Samwell, Ransom gets a job at the Rec center teaching water aerobics. Generally his class is filled to the brim with old ladies and their husbands, so he’s shocked to arrive at class at the beginning of the semester and find Adam Birkholtz, ex-hockey player, who’s there to supplement his physical therapy with gentle cardio.Things only get more complicated from there.

Detachment Studies | Tiptoe39 Completed Multi-Chapter, 4k A soulmate doesn't always mean a lover. But it does mean an attachment that's hard when it breaks. Luckily, there's the field of detachment studies -- how to mitigate the cognitive damage done when one loses a soulmate. Ransom's going to become a specialist in the field and prove that there's life after detachment. And he's going to practice what he preaches -- by leaving his own soulmate behind.

Salt-Mates | orphan account One-Shot, 4k Losing is dog in the park, Adam Birkholtz is pretty sure he's about to experience his worst day. Until he finds his dog sat quietly with a gorgeous man on a bench, a Harry Potter book in his hand, giving a lecture to the animal about the tragedy that befell Remus Lupin. That's when things get a little bit...strange.

This is Why We’re Medical Proxies | SecretGeniusShittyKnight One-Shot, 4k Holster gets sick. Then he gets a hospital stay. Then he gets high. Then he gets a boyfriend.

pH balance | alcatraz One-Shot, 2k “I can’t believe you have a crush on a white boy who unironically wears cut-off sweatpants,” she says gleefully. “This is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.”

Have We Been Boyfriends This Whole Time? | rhysiana One-Shot, 1k Post-college socializing is harder to organize than Ransom expected. Fortunately, his best bro is there for him. In every way.

Future Perfect | Tintinnabulation_of_the_Bells Completed Multi-Chapter, 14k WANTED: COMMITTED MONOGAMOUS COUPLES Are you and your significant other in a committed, monogamous relationship? Have you been dating for at least six months? Are you living together? If you meet these criteria (and you are at least 18 years old), you may be eligible to participate in a COMPENSATED study (up to $300) on love and decision making. Please call 617-555-7864 or email [email protected]. The moment he sees the sign, Holster knows he's struck gold. The only problem is, he and Ransom aren't technically dating. But who are romance and technicalities to stand in the way of a business scheme that's bound to go according to plan?

Tailspinners | rhysiana One-Shot, 1k In which Holster runs a literacy non-profit, Ransom is a pediatrician new to town, and Bitty is the Youth Services librarian who brings them together.

don we now our fake romances | DizzyRedhead One-Shot, 4k Justin notices that Holster is looking a little run-down. But there's no problem that their awesome broness can't solve. Right?

wanna be your romeo | leetlebird Completed Multi-Chapter, 50k Holster's always said 'fuck the lax bros,' but when he meets Ransom, a new transfer student on the lacrosse team, Holster realizes he wants to be a gentleman and date a lax bro first. (Ransom doesn't think Holster's too bad, either.) As Ransom and Holster navigate their own secret relationship, their teams band together to get Nursey and Dex to stop fighting by any means necessary - even if that means setting them up on a date. (Romeo and Juliet AU + Much Ado about Nothing AU. Dramatic misunderstandings can only be solved with One Direction, secret make-out sessions, snickerdoodles, Jerry's dates, and - finally - some communication.)

Literary Inspirations | Tintinnabulation_of_the_Bells Multi-Part Series, 15k The possibilities of life are infinite, but time is not. Certain things, like college years, like hockey careers, like the time for your best friend to fall in love with you, have expiration dates. Justin's just afraid he's missed his chance.

the masculinisation and romanticisation of art criticism through the framework of sports-related injuries (or, gross and beautiful) | heyfightme One-Shot, 2k ransom is a gross pre-med hockey boy. holster indulges him. art is created.

The One with All the Kissing | halfabreath One-Shot, 2k In which Holster messes up, gets way more action than he anticipates, and really is Chandler.

The New Ref | rhysiana One-Shot, 1k Ransom is the on-call emergency dentist at the Falconers' games. Holster is the new ref. Lardo and Shitty are matchmaking busybodies.

The World Still Spins | lecrivaineanonyme One-Shot, 5k Justin had first learned about the theory of paradigm shifts back in junior year during his class on the history and philosophy of science. It was just another definition for one of the short answers in the midterm exam: a fundamental change in the basic concepts of and experimental practices within a given scientific discipline. It was a benign factoid to be stored away, something to be revisited in a later essay: compare and contrast the views of Thomas Kuhn and Karl Popper on the scientific process. He hadn’t understood just how jarring such a fundamental shift could be until he broke up with Adam. (Happy ending!)

Homecoming | Tintinnabulation_of_the_Bells One-Shot, 10k Each December, Justin brings Holster home for Christmas. Each time, it means something new.

Division One Defense Duo To Reunite Saturday | the ghostofjamespotter One-Shot, 1k Flyers Defenseman Justin Oluransi will play against Adam Birkholtz of the Pittsburgh Penguins, for the first time since the two were college D-partners.

Bittle Birkholtz Brousins | halfabreath Multi-Part Series, 19k When Eric Bittle is 8 years old his Aunt Judy marries a Northeasterner named Jacob Birkholtz and suddenly he’s not the weirdest cousin anymore, it’s this gangly 12 year old named Adam who Did Not Want to move to Georgia and now they’re stuck in the same town together.

Bull City Blues | rhysiana Incomplete Multi-Chapter, 11k In which Ransom chooses Duke for medical school, the boys move to Durham, and Holster has to figure out what to do with his life.

One Dance | palateens Complete Multi-Chapter, 7k If he remembers any part of them making out and promptly passing out on the couch the next morning, he doesn’t mention it. Justin would rather avoid making things weird with his best friend while he’s still searching for his soulmate. She’s out there somewhere, and she’s everything he’s ever dreamed of.

The Final Rose | Tintinnabulation_of_the_Bells Incomplete Multi-Chapter, 7k Justin Oluransi quits his job and goes on the reality dating TV show The Bachelor looking to find love. It should be simple, but what he finds is nothing he (or Bachelor host Adam Birkholtz) could ever have imagined of in their wildest dreams.

#holsom #holsom fanfic #omgcp fanfic #fanfic #omgcp #omg check please #check please

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doktorscare · 3 years

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Types of doctors in India - Doktors

Doktors is a multi-specialty healthcare solution provider in India where you can have an online consultation with the best doctors in India whether primary care or specialists. Top doctors in India have enlisted themselves on this app to provide for all kinds of diagnoses, consultations, and treatment to patients across the country. The Doktors app covers all branches of medicine so that each and every patient is taken care of. The list of all types of doctors and specialists associated with the Doktors is too long and accommodates general physicians, pediatricians, gynecologists and obstetricians, gastroenterologists, dermatologists, cardiology, anesthesia, dentist, nephrologist, psychiatrist, ENT specialists, homeopaths, ophthalmologists, sexologists, general surgeons, diabetologists, urologists, pulmonologists, oncologists, orthopedic, neurology, dietetics, yoga and naturopathy, veterinary, in-vitro fertilization (IVF), and also India’s traditional method of medicine- Ayurveda. The Doctors platform allows one to easily select a doctor in India by city, specialty, or health condition. Doktors have a strong infrastructure for uninterrupted doctor appointment procedures and online video consultations to give the user a great experience. The patient also enjoys a free follow-up facility to reschedule the appointment and share his health record stored safely on the Doktors platform all the while enjoying his home comforts. A brief account of the specializations in the app which have greater demands of healthcare- 1. Cardiologists Top cardiologists in major cities are available for consultation anytime for heart failure, a heart attack, high blood pressure, or an irregular heartbeat problem through instant video consultation without an appointment, also otherwise. 2. Dermatologists Doktors have trusted dermatologists to treat conditions involving skin, hair, nails, moles, scars, acne, or skin allergies. They, too, are available both for an instant consultation and by prior appointments. 3. Neurologists Those suffering from disorders such as strokes, brain, and spinal tumors, epilepsy, Parkinson's disease, and Alzheimer's disease should consult our neurologists who are among the best in India. Like others, they, too, can be consulted instantly, as well as with appointments both online and offline. 4. Gynecologists Our gynecologists and obstetricians have great experience in dealing with women's health issues like pregnancy, childbirth, reproductive health, menopause, and hormone problems, etc. no matter if one wants to consult them online or offline; immediately or later on they are always available. 5. Dentist Toothaches, receding or bleeding gums, dental cavities, false teeth, all such issues require the services of our dentists who easily rank among the best in India. The Doktors app allows just one-tap appointments to serve patients without delay. 6. Urologist Top urologists in each big city are empaneled on the Doktors to solve the problems of urinary tract infection, enlarged prostate, and other urine-related problems. Book your appointment using our website or the app available on both the Google Play Store and iOS. 7. General Practitioners General Practitioners are the most sought-after category of doctors. Firstly, because they are the first to be approached for any problem, and secondly, because normally they deal with long-term health problems like asthma, diabetes, high/low blood pressure, etc. Download the Doktors and get the best medical advice! Live Chat with verified Doctors Book Doctor Appointment Online Speak to a trusted doctor within 15 Minutes Online consults doctors via Phone Call & Video Store Health Records Read health tips on our blogs If you want more information, email us at: [email protected] or contact us, +91-9893306766.

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techcrunchappcom · 3 years

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New Post has been published on https://techcrunchapp.com/more-parents-seek-adhd-diagnosis-and-drugs-for-kids-to-manage-remote-learning/

More parents seek ADHD diagnosis and drugs for kids to manage remote learning

Susan McLaughlin’s 12-year-old daughter, Isabela, was a straight-A student before the pandemic. Isabela, who lives in a suburb of Columbus, Ohio, excelled at science and math and was already getting high school credit for algebra.

But when her school shut down in March and classes shifted to Zoom, Isabela’s grades took a nosedive. She signed on for her virtual class from a desk piled high with books, papers and stuffed animals and then spent hours trying to clean her room instead of focusing on schoolwork. She found herself “paralyzed” by assignments, McLaughlin said, but she wouldn’t tell the teacher over email that she was struggling, as she would have done in person.

“It was meltdown after meltdown after meltdown,” said McLaughlin, 53, a mother of three from Delaware, Ohio, who works in a high school with chronically truant children.

McLaughlin recalls one time in April when Isabela, who was already diagnosed with severe anxiety, was given a language arts assignment and “fell to pieces.”

“She was crying and screaming and hyperventilating and started to get some tics, moving her head and flapping her arms. She had never had them before. That’s when we started to consider that it might be ADHD.”

McLaughlin spent months trying to bring more structure to Isabela’s day by writing lists, schedules, timelines and checkboxes. But as someone who was diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder herself a decade ago, McLaughlin realized that she was seeing the same behaviors in Isabela. She thought, “I’ve got to nip this in the bud.”

Isabela is being evaluated by a psychiatrist, a process that takes several hours and requires her teachers to fill out questionnaires about her behavior. McLaughlin hopes that with an ADHD diagnosis, Isabela will be able to get a prescription for a stimulant medication — such as Ritalin, Adderall or Vyvanse — to alleviate her symptoms.

“I know it’s super controversial sometimes. But I’ve been medicated for a long time, and I can’t function without taking it,” McLaughlin said. “If I don’t take my medication, I see an immediate difference in my ability to manage complex tasks, clean the house, get up and cook dinner. So I’m hoping it will have the same effect on her.”

Susan McLaughlin and Isabela Burgeson do schoolwork.Maddie McGarvey

Growing problems

McLaughlin isn’t alone in seeking an ADHD assessment for her child during the pandemic. Two dozen children, pediatricians, psychiatrists, psychologists and researchers all described a crisis among children suffering from inattention and tanking school performance.

Data from specialists involved with diagnosing and treating ADHD show just how much parents are struggling to get help: They are flooding an ADHD support line with questions, and ADHD diagnoses and prescriptions for related medications have soared.

“Covid has been a tipping point that has pushed some families to get help,” said Dr. Melvin Oatis of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, who said the stress of the pandemic, the shift to remote learning and social isolation have created “anxiety-provoking” conditions that affect students’ attention.

Experts warn that children who appear to have symptoms of ADHD should have thorough evaluations to rule out other conditions or stresses related to the pandemic before they seek medication.

“Our concern is that pediatricians and families be very careful to not simply list the symptoms of ADHD, but to look at the child’s history and use differential diagnosis to make sure we have the best possible explanation for the symptoms,” said Dr. Arthur Lavin, a Cleveland-based pediatrician who has served on several national committees of the American Academy of Pediatrics.

In the meantime, parents are seeking any help they can find. The number of parents calling a help line set up by CHADD (Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder), a nonprofit that supports people with ADHD, rose by 62 percent since the pandemic started, the organization said. Traffic to its website last year grew by 77 percent compared to 2019.

“We’re getting a lot of calls from caregivers who are working at home alongside their children and starting to see more issues with their behavior than they did before,” said April Gower-Getz, CHADD’s chief operating officer.

They’re certainly trying to get their children evaluated more frequently. The Child Mind Institute, a New York-based nonprofit that helps children with mental health disorders and their families, recorded a 20 percent increase in the number of appointments to discuss medication last year compared to 2019. The “lion’s share” of the appointments were to discuss medication for ADHD, said Dr. Harold Koplewicz, the institute’s founder.

And more parents are getting their children diagnosed and treated with medication for ADHD.

Athenahealth, a technology company that creates practice management software for health care providers, published research in May, drawing on data from its customers, that showed an increase in patients ages 13 to 17 who received new diagnoses of ADHD. From the week of March 9 to the week of March 30, the proportion of visits by teenagers that involved first-time ADHD diagnoses rose by 67 percent. There was a similar spike among teenagers — particularly boys — who received prescriptions for ADHD medicines for the first time.

The cases also seem to have picked up in recent months, said psychologist Keith Sutton, director of the Bay Area Center for ADD/ADHD. He said he had a “sharp increase” in inquiries during the fall.

“Before the summer, everyone was just trying to get through those months,” Sutton said. “Then, in October, when grades were coming back, parents were thinking we’re in it for the long run, something is going on here and we need help.”

Isabela Burgeson thrives with in-person schooling but has been struggling during virtual learning.Maddie McGarvey / for NBC News

Why now?

Experts attribute the increase in inquiries to a variety of factors, including the loss of structure and accommodations in the classroom setting.

Parents are also seeing their children’s troubles during school hours firsthand. Dr. Devang Patel, a family medicine physician in Illinois who specializes in ADHD, is one of several clinicians who said he is fielding more requests from parents for medication for their children.

“When the problem was in front of the teachers, it wasn’t really the parents’ concern,” Patel said. “But now they are at home trying to make their kid sit still for just half an hour and seeing how difficult that is.”

Children also miss the school environment, which helped ameliorate such issues. Dr. Jenny Radesky, a Michigan-based developmental behavioral pediatrician, said she has started prescribing stimulants for children as young as 5 and 6 this year. Their ADHD symptoms were manageable in supportive classrooms with flexible teachers, sensory tools and clear routines. But when those structures went away in March, their symptoms flared up.

“I’m watching kids who used to love school become unenthused and unmotivated,” said Radesky, who said she was worried about the long-term impact of virtual learning. “They need the social environment at school to learn how to regulate themselves. Without that, they are really struggling.”

Parenting challenges

Sasha Harris-Cronin’s 8-year-old son, Z (he chose his own name when he was 6), who is in the third grade, was diagnosed with ADHD in 2019 but didn’t start medication until last August.

Before the pandemic, Z’s school provided accommodations, like seating him directly in front of the teacher, where he wouldn’t be distracted, and making sure he ran around outside during recess.

Harris-Cronin said the shift to Zoom for Z was “awful.”

“It was so difficult. There were so many tears,” she said. Z missed the structure of school and couldn’t focus on Zoom classes. He would take an hour to write four words of a writing assignment. Days would go by when he got “absolutely nothing” done.

When she and Z realized that they were “looking down the barrel of another year like this,” they visited a psychiatrist, who prescribed Ritalin and Metadate.

“It was mind-blowing,” Harris-Cronin said. “He wrote a poem the first day. It’s not a miracle cure. But boy, is it an effective tool.”

Finding relief

Jahkim Hendrix, 18, of Atherton, California, suspected that he had ADHD for many years. But he didn’t get formally evaluated until late last year, during his senior year of high school. He had been falling behind academically the previous year, and when the schools closed in March, it didn’t take long for him to “give up completely.”

“The teacher would be speaking and I’d go blank,” he said, adding that students objected to putting their cameras on for their teachers, which made them — and him — even less accountable. “I would mute my teacher and go on TikTok and stay there for hours. That’s what sustained my attention.”

He barely passed his junior year of high school, and his grades slid from Ds to Fs as he started his senior year last fall. He and his mom, who was also diagnosed with ADHD as a child, decided it was time to seek help. It took two months to get an appointment with a psychiatrist, who evaluated him for over five hours in mid-December.

In late January, he was diagnosed with ADHD.

“I cried with relief,” he said. “I have always been told I have high potential but low performance, and I didn’t know why. Now I have a name to the thing that I’m facing, as well as tools and resources to help me.”

Worried doctors

Many experts said parents and clinicians need to be extra cautious about diagnosing ADHD during a pandemic because a child might show more signs that meet the criteria for the disorder. A diagnosis simply needs six or more symptoms listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the book of mental disorders recognized by the American Psychiatric Association. They include making careless mistakes, struggling to stay focused on tasks, having trouble organizing activities, not following through on instructions, avoiding schoolwork, losing items and being easily distracted.

“The pandemic has substantially disrupted the routines of every family, and that is going to make a good number of children feel like they can’t pay attention so well,” said Lavin, the Cleveland pediatrician. “ADHD might be one of the explanations, but only one. But the stress of a pandemic may also cause inattention.”

Medical experts say someone with ADHD was very likely to show signs before the pandemic began. Both the American Academy of Pediatrics and the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry recommend lengthy evaluations that take in children’s full developmental histories, surveys parents and teachers and compares symptoms to peers their own ages and genders.

A 15-minute office visit with a pediatrician isn’t long enough to rule out other causes of inattention, such as anxiety, depression and problems at home, said Sutton of the Bay Area Center for ADD/ADHD.

Susan McLaughlin and her daughter, Isabela Burgeson.Maddie McGarvey / for NBC News

Lengthy dependence

As many schools remain closed, some experts said they were concerned about the long-term impact of remote learning for young people with ADHD, particularly teenagers.

Maggie Sibley, a psychologist and researcher at the University of Washington and Seattle Children’s Hospital, has written a research paper, accepted by the Journal of Psychiatric Research, showing that symptoms are worsening and stress levels are skyrocketing among adolescents and young adults with ADHD during the pandemic. That has prompted numerous problems, including social isolation and disengagement from class.

“A person with ADHD typically has fewer friends and less social activities in their calendar,” she said. “A lot are getting their only social interactions at school.”

Students with ADHD were at particular risk of depression and dropping out of school, the study concluded.

“If you are in a situation where you are experiencing chronic boredom, getting poor grades in school, socially isolated and stuck in a house, it’s a recipe for depression,” Sibley said. While suicide isn’t an inevitable result, “we have to be vigilant down the road, especially since we know from research that when people with ADHD get depressed, they are more likely to make suicidal gestures because of their impulsivity.”

Susan McLaughlin will find out whether Isabela has ADHD at a follow-up appointment with the psychiatrist on Tuesday. While they wait, Isabela continues to battle with her assignments, particularly on Thursdays and Fridays, when class is entirely self-directed.

“I just want her to be everything she can be, a happy, well-adjusted 12-year-old — or as well-adjusted as anyone can be at this point.”

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