Devi vs. David: aka a comprehensive list of every single time ben gross has referred to devi as one or the other (season three edition)
here it is, the post you all have been waiting for! first off, if you missed them, please check out parts one and two where i talk about ben's use of devi vs. david in seasons one and two. and once again, this is just a list documenting every single instance in season three where ben refers to her as either devi or david with context + insight. i am making this mostly for my own purposes. also, some of the netflix captions are incorrect for this season (for example in 3x05 when he sees her at the coffeehouse for the first time) so if the font looks different on some of the screencaps, it's because i captioned them myself.
let's get started.
the first instance in season 3 we see him refer to her at all, it’s as david; the first instance in season 1 was also a david, but this time instead of being used as a mark of rivalry, it is used as a mark of friendship. we see ben use david a lot this season, during what i affectionately refer to as the benvi besties era. but here, in this instance, it isn’t just used to establish their friendship. i mean, it sort of is i guess, but in two separate directions: the first being towards devi, and the second towards ben himself. setting those boundaries in his head, so to speak, because this is right after she tells him things are going great with paxton.
another friendship david! i really love how they interact in this scene: he’s being so genuine when he says this, and her lil smile afterwards? priceless. the way he uses david as a term of endearment will never get old to me.
obviously devi isn’t present in this scene, so it makes sense he doesn’t refer to her as david, but i just wanna point out that ben is a liar liar pants on fire!! while yes, ben and devi are solidly friends, he is still obviously harboring feelings for her. even his own girlfriend can see that. he is so quick to assure aneesa that he does not still have feelings for devi, but the way he talks about her here (insulting, but also sounding so fond, literally ben and devi’s love language!) and even like directly referencing what her freaking backpack looks like (because he notices everything about her, he can’t not notice her) like…dude. you are not making a good case for yourself.
also, this is not particularly relevant because, again, she isn't in this scene, but i still want to make the observation just like i did in part two that ben has never called her david around aneesa. there is no way this isn’t intentional. he calls her david in front of the rest of their friends, but if aneesa is present, it’s devi or nothing at all.
continuing the trend of ben referring to her as david as a term of endearment / mark of friendship. there was no reason for him to put david in the text; he could have left it at “Holy shit! Did you do this?” and the message would still have come across. but he wants to add that extra layer to it, that extra oomph by referring to her as something that is just for them. just for their friendship. something special they have that no one else does. (also ben for fucks sake stop texting the love of your life for like two fucking seconds and pay attention to your actual girlfriend. jesus christ.)
this is the first time he refers to her post-time skip - not that that really matters, i just wanted to point it out. ben is, as he says, four beers deep at this point, and they’re in the presence of friends. it just makes sense for the nickname to slip out. eleanor and fab also make no remarks about it (eleanor didn’t in the 3x02 troll shenanigans instance, either, pre-time skip), so they know it’s harmless.
okay so in this one, the netflix captions are actually wrong — the captions say devi but ben very clearly says david, so i captioned this one myself. anyways. i just want to point out. benjamin. came to the coffeehouse. just because he heard devi say she was going to kiss someone there. you are not slick, dude. anyways. “Are you the charity we’re raising money for tonight?” is a callback to 2x05, obviously: “Well, this is a charity event, and you are, after all, a charity case.” banter. classic benvi banter. this isn’t a friendship david, even though they are friends. and the thing is, ben knows why he’s here. he’s not delusional; i don’t think he walked into the coffeehouse expecting for devi to kiss him. he was hopeful, maybe. but using david in a more teasing context as opposed to a term of endearment here, once again, sets those boundaries in his head. it’s never just as simple as whether he says david or devi; it’s also the tone he uses, how he says it.
condescending king!!! okay no but for real. he uses devi here to exaggerate — i mean, he literally just called her david not even two minutes prior. it’s not a real dig at her, not a real insult, and she knows that. and honestly, i think he’s using their banter in this episode as some sort of armor, because he knows he wants to kiss her, and knows that he’s not going to, so it’s just…easier to be a dick. he keeps his guard up that way. yeah, he flirts by being an asshole, too, and while this episode does have flirty vibes (let’s be real they both wanted to kiss each other the whole damn time), i think ben is just mostly on the defense. especially after that “Don’t fall for a friend,” comment he makes to aneesa later on in the episode. (also, this is the first time this season he refers to her as devi to her face — the only other time so far he’s called her devi was when he was attempting to assure aneesa he didn’t have feelings for devi anymore.)
really just reiterating a lot of what i said about the first instance of david during the coffeehouse. trying to make light of the situation, because really, we know he’s already jealous of whoever it is she’ll be kissing tonight, and he knows it’s not gonna be him.
more condescending ben! keeping up with the david here, same reasons as above, except it’s his second sentence here i really wanna talk about: “Most guys at drama club events are either dragged here by their girlfriends or are looking for boyfriends.” like WOW okay first of all, way to stereotype, but ALSO, i’m 100% convinced he said that because, you know, he doesn’t want her kissing anyone else.
this just feels like such a soft moment for me. this is right before 3x06, which is the episode ben decides to finally start to try moving on, but really, i think he started thinking about it in this episode, right at this moment. this “good night, devi,” almost reads like a “goodbye” to me -- not a real one, obviously, but a goodbye to the hopes he might have had for rekindling their romance. he’s going to keep on loving her (he can’t not love her), but he’s done letting himself be miserable about it.
"...would’ve been the end of our journey together.”
ok once again it is obvious he does not refer to her as david when she is not present + even if he did it would not be to paxton but anyways. what i wanna talk about here is how ben has moved on from the cheating incident. i don’t think he’s like, fully 100% over it obviously, and he’s def not over her, but so casually referencing it to devi’s other ex-boyfriend and there not being a hint of malice towards her in his voice? at this point it’s been probably about a year and a half, give or take, since the two-timing. yes, she broke his heart, but he’s had time to move past that aspect of it. and you could argue that he casually references it because in this scene he’s in one of the most embarrassing situations he’s ever been in and is trying to make light of the situation, but i think it’s more than that. he’s accepted that devi made a big fucking mistake. he’s moved on from it. not from her, not really, but from what she did to him.
okay, yes, this comment comes across as sort of asshole-ish on the surface, but honestly? this is one if the nicest, most genuine things ben has said to her all season. i’m not even kidding when i say that. here, samberg directly says “This would normally prompt a twinge of jealousy in Ben, but if last night taught him anything, it was that he needed to let go of whatever caused him pain.” and like yeah okay comparing devi to the literal shit that was stuck in his gastrointestinal tract is….not great, but i see where he’s coming from. ben is making the conscious decision to stop hopelessly pining after devi. obviously, those feelings are still there, they are not going away just because he’s decided to start moving on. but he’s at peace now with the fact that they missed their chance (or so he thinks). david, once again, used as a mark of friendship. this is ben’s way of saying, “I hope this works out for you, friend. You deserve to be happy.”
"...Don’t be insufferable about this, but you may have been right to think that we can win.”
okay, real quick, can we talk about how chill ben was with the possibility of losing? season two ben could never. ANYWAYS. of course he has to at least sort of be a dick (“Don’t be insufferable about this…”) but he genuinely means it. it’s a praise and an encouragement wrapped into one (up until the paralegals and faux-jeopardy computer stroll in) because they’ve been doing so well during the tournament. he has faith in her. david being used to get her attention here before he gives her that praise makes it come across even more genuine, i think, because this is ben we are talking about here and, again, david is a term of endearment for them!
"...if you aren’t too busy making demented faces into your phone.”
BANTER like yes ok he’s genuinely annoyed here. but. this whole scene just oozes besties banter. don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a friendship david. it reads very close to their s1 enemies back-and-forth but there’s also that extra layer underneath, laced with the littlest bit of affection, because he doesn’t hate her like he did back then. (also, they’re working on a project together instead of competing for the best in class. season 1 pre-model un benvi could never.)
he's trying to soften the blow of what he’s about to tell her about rhyah and des; obviously it doesn’t really work, because she still flips out on him lol, but he tries. he doesn’t even banter back when she tells him that his outfit is ugly. he’s heartbroken that he has to tell her this. he wanted so badly for this to work out for her. for her to be happy. but he has to do right by her, has to tell her because she deserves to know the truth. uses david to soften the sharpness of that truth.
david once again being used in a friendly context; his tone here is softening from the petty banter they had just been engaging in. telling her it’s “dumb not to go,” using david in the middle of that sentence for emphasis, but somehow he’s still not coming across as a dick here. he knows how impactful it would be for her to go, and tells her as much. but…
cut me in half. throw me off a cliff. i may never emotionally recover from this. ben being so vulnerable here, probably the second most vulnerable we’ve ever seen him (the first being 3x06 with his father). telling her he doesn’t want her to go, that he’ll miss her, because he wants her in his life. even if they aren’t together. even if they never become anything more than friends again. he likes having her around. wants to keep her around. and he isn’t afraid to say it anymore. david here being used to, once again, establish that closeness between them, that closeness to his best friend (even if it’s never actually stated that she is his best friend, she is, she is). david being used because this is just them, just for them, words that cannot be left unsaid.
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