#before they've even spoken to me no less | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fairysluna · 1 month

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Hi! Could I please request another threesome with Cregan, reader and Jace. Maybe they get jealous when they see reader with another men and want to teach her a lesson? Thank you and love your blog!

i get drunk on jealousy.

Modern!AU — After they've ignored you for a week, you were desperate to have their attention back. Flirting with a random guy might not be the best idea.

MASTERLIST

PAIRING — Cregan Stark x Fem!Reader x Jacaerys Velaryon.

TAGS — polyrelationship/polyamorous, m/m/f, smut (p in v, clit play, handjob, oral sex, creampie, spitting, cum eating, male on male action), jace x cregan, use of alcohol and drugs, kind of drunk sex, dom!cregan, switch!jace, sub!reader, jealousy, cursing. If something is missing let me know!!

AUTHOR'S NOTE — Don't expect so much of this fic, I saw this picture, I saw a vision, and basically my horniness wrote this by itself. Not my best work, but fuck it, this is just for fun. Also, this made me realize that I'm unable to write dom!Jace if Cregan is there too, oops??? I guess??? NO BETA, WE DIE LIKE MEN.

I took this request as an excuse to write this fic so... thank you for sending it and hope you enjoy this!🤍

WORD COUNT — 3.1k

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤenglish is not my first language.

Most people on Campus knew about your strange relationship with Cregan and Jacaerys. Some guys would often call you a whore behind your back, while some girls would prefer the term ‘lucky bitch’; it was no secret that the both of them were quite known for being handsome and gallant, almost acting like real life prince-charmings. Every girl would drool for them, acknowledging their chivalry and politeness. Of course, they already knew about the attention that they received from the opposite sex, they knew about how many girls would love to be in your position. Which is why they didn't understand why you were so eager to act like a brat.

Jace tapped Cregan's shoulder as he saw you chatting with some random guy that suddenly appeared next to you on the couch. Neither of them had seen him before, he was probably a freshman or someone that sneaked into the party without invitation. Both pairs of eyes were intently staring at you, watching every move you make. They knew you weren't oblivious enough to not see it; he was obviously flirting with you, and you were clearly enjoying every moment of it. Jacaerys, being the most jealous out of the three of you, tightened his grip around his bottle of beer, his fingertips turning white as Cregan turned to look at him.

“Don't do anything stupid,” he warned him. “She'll deal with us later.”

“But look at her!” Jace snapped, his breathing ragged.

“She's doing it to piss us off,” Cregan attempted to calm him down. “She won't do anything with that guy. Just wait until the party's over and we'll take care of it, okay?”

He looked at him, obediently nodding as he took a long sil out of his beer to calm down a bit. Jace forbade himself to turn your way, ignoring your desperate attempt to make them jealous. Cregan, being a lot less hotheaded than Jace, acted nonchalantly toward your attitude, pretending you were doing nothing wrong, even when he wanted to grab your arm and take you right in that couch just to clarify that you belong to them.

Cregan knew your purpose, you both had spoken about it earlier that day after one of your classes together. They both have been ignoring you, neglecting your needs and spending more time alone — without you. At first you didn't mind it, thinking that they were busy with the final exams and their final projects of the semester; however, when you knew they were using all that time to plan this stupid party you got pissed, almost screaming at him in the middle of the campus, frustrated. Now here you were, sitting with a freshman trying to get in your pants, all while they were still ignoring you.

Both guys spent the rest of the night drinking, playing some games with other members of the fraternity and having a blast while you were standing in a corner, alone and bored; your two lovers out of your sight. Perhaps that was why you couldn't see Jace searching for you everytime he could, unable to control the jealousy that had grown within him. He couldn't find you anywhere around, which made his mind overthink about where you were, and with whom. Cregan would try to calm him down, offering him his blunt which Jace would accept in order to relax.

Hours passed, it was 4am when the music stopped and everyone passed out in random parts of the fraternity house. Cregan and Jace were stumbling their way up to their dorm, the effects of the alcohol still lingering in their bodies as they struggled to reach for their room. They both were holding onto each other until they opened the door and saw you standing in front of the mirror, wiping off your make up and getting ready to sleep. They noticed you had moved their beds together, making a bigger one as you usually do whenever you stayed with them.

They entered the room in silence, and while Cregan was closing the door and turning the lock, Jace stood closer to you almost drooling once he saw you were wearing one of his shirts. He wrapped his arms around your waist and hid his face on the crock of your neck, leaving wet kisses all over your skin and completely forgetting about the fact that he was supposed to be ignoring you.

“You're so fucking weak, Jace,” Cregan scolded him, removing his shoes and shirt, getting ready to bed.

You turned to look at the eldest guy, who just ignored your intense gaze.

“You're mad?” you dared to ask.

“We both are, actually,” Jacaerys murmured against your skin.

“And why would you be mad? I should be the angry one!”

“Oh, really?” Cregan finally turned, stepping closer to you. “Why is that?”

“You know why! We talked about this and you decided to keep ignoring me!”

Stark laughed dryly, his gray eyes getting darker as he narrowed them. “Is that why you've been acting like a fucking whore tonight? Trying to get into a freshman's pants to get our attention. Fucking pathetic.” He took a step close enough to grab your jaw and force you to look at him. You tried to squirm away from him, but Jace's arms tightened their grip around your body, and you had no escape. “Jace couldn't even enjoy the fucking party because he thought you were sucking another guy's cock. You think that's fair? To make him feel like shit the entire night because you were just needy of attention?”

“I- I didn't-”

“You broke my heart tonight, sweetheart,” Jace whispered in your ear as his fingers reached the hem of your shirt. “You need to pay for what you've done…”

“I'm- I'm sorry, I never meant to-”

“It seems like you need a lesson,” Cregan interrupted you, tightening his grip on your face and making you whine. “Something to remind you that you belong to us.”

Jacaerys' hand cupping your core with one of his hands, burying his fingers between your folds and covering them with your growing slick. He giggled, “she's not wearing panties…” he informed, smiling up at Cregan who clenched his jaw.

“Get her on her knees,” he commanded, and the youngest obeyed immediately, letting you go from his firm grip.

You fell to your knees, scratching them with the raspy carpet beneath you. Jace removed his shirt as Cregan started to unbutton his pants until they pooled around his ankles along with his underwear. You whimpered once you saw his cock starting to get hard under your haze, your mouth watering as you leaned towards his side.

“Get on the bed,” he pointed at Jace. You tried to stand up and follow the instructions too, yet he stopped you by gripping the front of your head and pulling it back. “Not you,” he sternly said. “Open up.”

Obediently, you did as you were told, opening your mouth and letting him press his tip on your tongue. He gave it a few taps, teasing before ge finally decided to start fucking your mouth. Cregan grabbed the sides of your head to keep you still in your position, and his hips started to snap against your throat without further warning. You found stability when you placed your cold hands on his thighs, grasping onto them so you wouldn't lose balance as he had no mercy with you.

You looked up teary eyed, gagging and gulping loudly as you heard his moans slipping out of his plump lips. The small eye contact suddenly became too much for him, so he leaned his head back as he closed his eyes. “Such a delicious mouth,” he praised you, “taking my cock so fucking well.”

His grip around your head started to hurt a bit, his fingertips burying in you as he fastened his pace. It wasn't hard for you to become a mess; your own drool was falling down the corners of your lips as you cried out, your whines being muffled by him inside your mouth, and your slick already starting to leak out of you. Your arousal only grew once he buried himself completely in your mouth, grabbed the back of your head and forced you to stay there for a few seconds, with his length fully sheathed in your throat. Your nose brushed against his pelvis as the air started to escape from your lungs.

“Come on now, baby,” he murmured with a strained voice, feeling his cock pulsing inside your mouth. “Take it… take it all…”

He chuckled softly as you started to tap on his thigh, and he quickly let you go. You gasped once he pulled out of your mouth, gasping for the air your lungs desperately needed. He moaned softly once he saw you; tears on your face, drool falling down your swollen lips — you looked so pretty he even thought about letting you go unpunished and just please you, but then he turned to see Jace; his cock was achingly hard, his ruddy tip leaking as he desperately fucked his fist; he had been so good to you, and you made him feel so bad throughout the night; he deserved a reward, and you deserved a punishment.

Before you could react, Cregan grabbed your body with ease, lifting you up from the ground and carelessly carrying you towards the bed. You moaned with his touch, so needy of him that even his roughness made you squirm out of pleasure. He moved your body around as if you were a ragdoll, shifting your position in bed until you were sitting on top of Jace's pelvis, his cock right between your legs. For a second you thought it was finally the time for them to fuck you, but you were so wrong.

“Grab her hips,” he commanded, using that mandatory tone that drove you and Jace insane. “Don't let her move.”

He positioned himself between the boy's legs, leaving you more confused than before. “What- what are you-?”

“I'm teaching you a lesson,” he stopped you before you could finish your question. “You'll see what happens when you behave and when you don't.”

You saw him leaning down, his plump lips wrapping the tip of Jace's cock and making him squirm beneath your body. Your mouth dropped as you looked at Cregan taking him entirely, his haze fixed in you as the frustration in your body grew even more. The youngest had his nails buried in the flesh of your hips, you heard him moan so prettily that you could even feel the slick oozing out of you, even when you were untouched. It was such a sinful image to witness, especially when Cregan's eyes became teary once he gagged around Jace.

“Oh, fuck…” you mumbled, tears of despair gathering in your eyes as your breathing became ragged. “P-please touch me…”

Jace's hand attempted to reach for your throbbing clit, but the older grabbed his hand and pushed it away. “I'll stop if you touch her,” he warned him. All you could do was cry out.

Cregan's ragged breathing would reach your folds, causing shivers all over your spine. You would try to move your hips to at least rub yourself against Jace's skin, but he didn't allow it, holding you down so tightly that you were certain it would leave a bruise.

The moans turned into whines as Jace started to quickly feel the orgasm coming. His skin was burning as Cregan fervently sucked on his tip, using his tongue to clean up the precum spilling from his slit. Whenever you would cry out or move on top of him he would feel closer to the edge, his body burning inside. “I'm so fucking close, baby,” he whimpered, “keep sucking my cock, I'm- I'm gonna fucking cum… f-fuuck.”

You saw Cregan hollowing his cheeks, milking Jace dry as he came inside his mouth. Drops of the pearly seed escaped from his lips and you felt the need to lick them both clean. You needed a taste, anything that would make you feel some kind of relief.

He sat back up, and as soon as he laid his hazy eyes on you, he grabbed your neck pulling you closer towards him. As if it was a reflex, you opened your mouth while you stared at him through your glossy eyes. He let his spit fall onto your mouth, to then pull you close and fervently kiss you. The salty taste of Jace's release lingered in your mouths as you devoured each other, you would whine against his lips, still sobbing as your pussy was already aching for the lack of attention.

That's when the boy beneath you wrapped you between his arms, forcing you to lay on top of his chest. He didn't even let you catch a break before you felt his cock slowly making his way inside of you, and you gasped out of relief. He stretched you out, providing you with that sweet sting of pain that drove you insane. His hands grabbed your thighs, folding you in half as he started to thrust upwards.

“Don't ever forget who you belong to,” he grunted against your ear as you struggled to keep it quiet. Probably the whole house knew what you were doing, and maybe that was their purpose all along. “You're fucking ours, baby. This tight pussy belongs to us, do you hear me?”

Cregan's hand fell hard on your throbbing clit as you remained silent. A whine left your lips as Jace kept bullying your gummy, wet walls with his girth.

“Answer him,” he demanded, getting closer to you and placing his leaking cock on top of your swollen pearl. You felt the room spinning.

“Yes! Yes! I'm- fuck… I'm fucking yours,” you sobbed.

The whole situation became overwhelming, while one was burying himself in the deepest part of you, the other was rubbing himself on your sensitive flesh, searching for his own release as he wrapped his hand around your throat.

“Fuck, you're fucking squeezing me so tight, baby,” Jace moaned, breathlessly as he felt the mixture of your slick falling down his sack. The lewd sounds of your folds getting stretched by his thickness almost making him cum again. “So fuckin delicious…”

“We've just started and we already fucked her silly,” Cregan chuckled. “She's a fucking mess for us…”

A layer of sweat covered your body; you felt the blood burning inside your veins, the orgasm approaching you embarrassingly fast as they were stimulating your senses. Your eyes rolled back, the desperate pleads slipping out of your lips as you were begging them to make you cum. You were shaking, your face covered in tears as the moans were ripped out of your throat.

“So loud,” the older teased you, “gonna wake up the whole fucking house…”

“I- I need to… please, I need to cum!”

Cregan leaned towards you, and Jace instinctively fastened his pace, burying himself deeper and harder; you had a hard time thinking straight as the older’s hands tightened around your neck. “Ow, poor girl, wants to cum. I don't think you deserve it.”

“P-please, Cregan…”

“Work for it,” he demanded. “Make Jace cum and then you're free to do it too.”

Almost as if it was an instinct, you started to move your hips up and down Jace's cock, making the thrusts more intense and deeper. The younger moaned loudly, already feeling overstimulated by your movements and feeling his sack heavy with a new load of his release. He thought about how pretty you would look with your legs spreaded and his seed falling from your weeping hole; that image alone almost made him peak right in the spot.

“Jacey, please!” you whined, already growing tired. “Please, please, cum in me!”

“Want me to fill your pretty cunny, baby? Mhm? Want my cum inside of you?” he teased, and you rolled your eyes as your walls clenched with his filthy words.

“Yes… yes, please… give it to me, please…”

As a spectator, Cregan groaned loudly, quickly rubbing his hands around his shaft with his eyes fixed in the way Jace was filling you up, bewitched by that bulge in your belly that grew each time that he would bury himself deep inside of you, touching your sweet spot over and over until your head feel dizzy and all that left your mouth were incoherent mumbling.

“I can't… I can't hold it…” you sobbed.

“Come on, baby, I'm so fucking close, just wait for me,” Jace whimpered, his movements getting more desperate and sloppier.

“I can't! I can't! F-fuck…”

Everything came to a breaking point once your release gushed out of you, spurring all over them and making a complete mess. Neither of them could hold back after such an obscene view in front of them, and they were quick to follow. Jacaerys finally spilled himself in you, his seed painting your walls and filling you to the brim. Lastly, Cregan stained your shirt and flesh with his pearly drops, moaning so beautifully that it made you feel butterflies in your belly.

You hissed when Jace pulled out of you, feeling your legs shake while Cregan struggled to stand up from the bed and looking for something to clean you up while you laid against the younger’s body, who softly wiped the tears out of your face.

“Shh… it's okay, you did so good for us, my love,” he cooes, so gently. “So, so good.”

“I'm- I'm sorry,” you mumbled while Cregan returned to your side with a towel in his hand. With soft brushes he started to clean your thighs, your belly and the raw flesh between your legs. “I- I never meant to make you two feel bad… I was- I was being so selfish-”

“Hey,” Cregan stopped you, holding your face with gentleness; so different from his previous touch. “It's already behind us, okay?”

Once he finished cleaning you up, your body fell into Jace's embrace as he wrapped his arms around your body, pulling you closer to him and cuddling with you. He hid his face on the crook of your neck and softly hummed when the remains of your sweet perfume reached his nose.

“We love you so much,” he whispered, “please, don't ever do that to us again…”

You grabbed your face only to see his puppy, brown eyes. A gentle, soft kiss was shared as you felt Cregan laying down behind you and fondling your body, soon you three had your limbs tangled as you kissed and caressed each other without shame. Loving touches that relaxed all of you.

“I'm sorry,” you whispered again to the both of them. “I'll never do that again.”

“Do you promise?” Cregan asked.

“I promise,” you softly nodded.

The Northern boy leaned to leave a soft kiss on your cheek, you both shared a gentle smile which let you know that the anger that was once within him was now fully gone.

follow @by-fairysluna for updates!!

GENERAL TAG LIST — @islandfantasydream @arcielee @bucknastysbabe @zaldritzosrose @rafeism @valeskafics

CREGAN TAG LIST — @purplequxxn @iloveharbingers @jeongiegram @koobratzy @foxyanon

JACAERYS TAG LIST — @iloveharbingers @alynna-m @katharina1111 @simp-aholic

#house of the dragon #hotd #cregan stark smut #cregan stark x reader #cregan stark #jacaerys velaryon smut #jacaerys velaryon x reader #cregan stark x jacaerys velaryon #jaceagan #hotd smut #hotd fanfic #cregan stark x you #jacaerys velaryon #jacaerys velaryon x you

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kkpwnall · 10 months

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wanted: pool boy at the vampire mansion

for my darlingest louseph @cheatghost who a few days ago sent me the words "pool boy steve at eddie's vampire mansion" at 6 in the morning and immediately got my brain whirring. like 0 to 60, dead asleep to wide awake and writing. so here's less than 1k words of pure ridiculous fun.

[also on ao3]

It’s not a bad gig, really. Even if it stipulates in his contract that he has to be shirtless while he’s on the property. But Steve also signed the contract in his blood so he’s not sure how legal it is.

Plus the pay is insane. He quit his other jobs, and he’s basically got free reign of the pool all day. So he takes his time with the skimmer fishing out all the leaves and dead bugs, swims laps for a while. Spends the rest of the day in a lounger before adjusting the chemicals so it’s perfect by morning.

What do vampires need with a pool anyway?

The four guys stay in the house whenever Steve comes by, but they're friendly enough and wave at him through the dark tinted windows.

One guy ogles him the whole time he works. Not that he really minds. So what if Steve gets to work early, just to put on sunscreen? Who’s gonna know if he puts some extra flex in his muscles while he works? And who cares if they’ve got the cleanest pool in all of Indiana? It’s not hurting anyone.

But Steve's drawn to him the same way he was drawn to the ad in the first place, with his long dark curly hair and unending collection of black band shirts. His crooked smile and dimples and shining brown eyes.

It's just... they've never once spoken. And Steve is dying to get to know this guy who makes the goofiest faces at him. Who was pissed when Steve laughed the first time he did, hands up like devil horns, tongue lolling and eyes crossed. Until Steve made his own face back.

This guy, who plays elaborate charades with Steve through the glass, trying and failing to do the classic walking-down-stairs bit. Who went boneless when one of the guys in his band (? coven? pod? Ask Dustin what a group of vampires is called.) dragged him away while Steve mimed crying, waving an imaginary hanky at him. This guy, who clutched his heart and fell over when Steve lowered his shades and winked at him one day.

And it's because of those shades that Steve has to drive all the way back to the mansion late one night to retrieve them from his usual chair.

When he gets there, someone’s floating in the pool. Someone, with long curly hair spilling all around their head. Someone, wearing all their clothes, and Steve can't tell from the weak pool light if they're face up or face down, but they sure as hell aren't moving.

His lifeguard training takes over between one step and the next, as he bolts for the pool, launching into the water, and throwing himself forward with broad strokes.

Except when Steve gets to him, the guy isn't drowning, he’s sputtering and swearing and pushing away from him in the water. “What are you doing here?!”

“You're not drowning...” Steve says blankly, trying to catch his breath as he treads water.

“No! And thank you for the rescue, Lancelot, but you need to get out of here.” His long hair streams over his face as he spins while Steve paddles around him to make sure he’s really alright.

“Lancelot?” he asks, just to keep the guy talking, to hear more from his honeyed voice. Better than anything he could’ve ever imagined.

“A knight in shining armor,” the guy mumbles, trying to hide his face. “A hero rescuing fair damsels and slaying vile beasts.”

Steve chuckles, but doesn’t miss the venom in his last words. He catches him by the upper arm to stop his spinning. “No, I know who Lancelot is, it’s just–”

It’s just he’s even prettier close up. It’s just his skin is freezing cold in the sun-warmed pool water. It’s just he’s looking at Steve, caught somewhere between a grimace and a grin, and his teeth are so so sharp.

“I’m Steve,” he says, moving closer. Entirely entranced by the pool light, the moonlight, the starlight, glimmering in his eyes. Steve’s hand has a mind of its own, rising out of the water to cup the guy’s cheek with a wet palm, “And you’re…”

Gently traces his lower lip, runs his thumb over the sharp canine, careful not to touch the pointed tip.

“You’re beautiful,” Steve breathes.

The guy surges forward, reeling Steve in with a hand on the back of his neck, and kisses him fiercely. Steve kisses him back just as fervently, wraps his arms around his waist and kicks out with his legs to keep them afloat, as his tongue slides past the guy’s teeth to swirl and dance with his.

It's messy and uncoordinated and they sink and bob in the water as they move against each other. The guy's fingers tangle in the shaggy hair at the base of his neck, twisting and snagging. Steve groans and stretches a broad palm up between the guy's shoulder blades, pressing further into him, drinking all of him in.

“It’s Eddie,” he says, pulling back and panting when they finally part. “I’m Eddie.”

Steve grins at Eddie and kisses him again, pushing them through the water towards the edge at the shallow end of the pool. He can think of better uses for his legs right now.

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serendipityandbenevolence · 1 year

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Couldn't find any fatui x reader SAGAU so I wrote what I wanted to read. It's a tough gig, but someone has to do it. Also yes, I know my sentences are too long

Contains - Mentions of blood (yay), me pretending like scara is still part of the fatui and la signora isn't dead, a good part of this is just you monologuing about how you're going to die (spoilers: you don't) no gold blood (sorry guys) also gn reader

With every labored breath that fell from your lips, you became more certain that this was where you would die. Not in a comfortable bed, surrounded by family to hold you gently as you slipped on, but alone and scared in a foreign land. You traced patterns on the snow that you lay upon, the only movement you could force yourself to do since you collapsed into that very snow hours prior. Part of you said it was the cold that had brought you to your knees, the other, more rational, part said that is was the gaping wound in your side and the heavy trail of red that you had sloppily painted the pristine landscape with.

You could not recall who dealt that blow to you. There were too many bows, swords, spears, that had rained down upon you to tell whose had cut you. And you hadn't looked. You didn't want to know, of those who you had adored through a screen, had performed the killing blow. It was a miracle that you had escaped. Perhaps it was a blessing from the god whose face you had unwittingly stolen, to give you the chance to fade away gently before they could inflict more pain to you.

But as soon as the thought of a peaceful end crossed your mind, you heard it. At first, you could pretend it was merely the howling wind that swirled above, but as the noises got louder, your brain was forced to recognize them as they were: voices. A single tear slid down your cheek as you lay motionless, the last tear you would shed for yourself.

"-they get this far? With the amount of blood they've lost, surely they must be de-"

"Shh! Don't even speak the words! The death of a god would not go unpunished and I do not delight in the thought of what punishment would be in store for us, so please, refrain from such-"

"Over there!"

The hands that grabbed you almost seemed to burn, their gentle warmth scorching your frost-ridden skin. Panicked voices swirled around you, words disappearing from your mind as soon as they are spoken. The only thing you truly hear, as the darkness surrounds you, was the frantic yell for a healer.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You were warm. A rather bland, yet incomprehensible feeling considering the few days you had just had. However, as you forced your eyes open, the reason for your warmth became clear. Gone was the infinite snowy landscape, replaced with a truly massive bedroom and a crackling fire that provided your only light aside from the slightly ajar double doors and the sliver of light they let through. And the bed that you lay upon, which seemed far too spacious for even two people rest in, was piled high with furs and blankets. You wondered whether the person who had made this bed for you had simply taken every blanket they could find and thrown them upon you in the hopes that it would keep you warm.

"Liyue had extended their sincere apology for the treatment of the Divine One, but we are yet to hear anything from Inazuma."

The voice that snaked its way into your room was firm and professional, but with a sharp venom lacing every word, especially the nations that they named. The next voice in comparison made no effort to conceal its vicious hatred, anger seeping out of every letter.

"Not even a letter. How disgraceful. I expected nothing less from a nation that cannot even know its creator when they see them, but somehow, they still disappoint me."

Quite a few murmurs of agreement surrounded that statement, revealing truly how many people stood outside your room, before the first voice responded.

"You would think, Capitano, that such devout worshippers would have a good set of working eyes, however-"

You did not hear beyond that. That name, it told you everything about where you had found yourself and the nature of those voices whispering in the hallway.

The Harbingers.

You almost had to laugh, that your sworn enemies within the narrative were the ones to be providing you shelter after your 'allies' had turned against you. But instead of a laugh, a name fell from your lips, louder then intended, causing the voices outside to hush.

The name of the person you wished to see and, if you were being honest with yourself, your favorite Harbinger.

Now the only question is... who was it?

Pierro

Dottore

Columbina

Scaramouche

Sandrone

Signora

Pantalone

Tartaglia

Capitano

Arlecchino

Anyway, I'll write their lil pathways when i have the energy but hey, if you're reading this, if you want to comment which one you want first, i might listen

#genshin sagau #genshin x reader #yandere genshin #genshin impact #fatui harbingers #fatui x reader

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kerryweaverlesbian · 4 months

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I want destiel with 13 or 22 (the prompts you reblogged)

Take it easy, with me please, touch me gently, like a summer evening breeze

"You know what this mix is called, Cas?" Dean murmers, pressing his forehead to the side of Castiel's and changing their sway to match the new rhythm.

They've been dancing alone in the kitchen, slow and close, for something like half an hour, and these are the first words either of them have spoken since Dean pulled Cas in. On one side their hands are tangled loosely together, and on the other their arms cross over at their waists, keeping them both pressed together, chest to chest.

"No," Cas says, playing along. They both knew the tape had already been in the stereo when Dean had reached out and pressed play. It wasn't one Cas recognised; all slow, a lot of crooning women.

"It's called, 'For Cas, if we win'. I made it while you were gone." Dean's breath warms the tip of Cas’s ear, and his meaning warms him everywhere else.

"Was there an 'if we lose'?"

Dean shifts his head back to look Cas in the eye. "No. I was never going to happen."

Andante, andante, just let the feeling grow.

Enchanted by the devotion in Dean's eyes, he's caught of guard by his sudden, amused smile. He understands when Dean sings along, sotto voce, "Touch my soul, you know how. Forgot that was coming."

"You've touched mine, now," Cas reminds him, "Or, the closest thing I have to one."

That's how he'd gotten out of the Empty, Dean cradling his Grace to his chest and then fighting his way back through miles of black, sucking sludge, beset by angels, demons and the Empty's own power as he went. The place had been a lot more active since the last time Cas had been stuck there, but no less bleak. There had only been a chance for Dean to finally choke out an, "I love you too, you fucking idiot," when they'd collapsed back out through the portal before he'd fallen asleep for 15 hours straight.

"Your hands were very gentle," Cas notes, and he can feel Dean's face heat as he moves them cheek to cheek, an endearing and unsuccessful attempt to hide his blush. "I felt very secure."

"I didn't want to drop you," Dean admits at a mumble, then complains, "You were freaking slippery, man."

"My apologies," Cas teases, and Dean knocks him with his hip in playful retaliation. "If it helps, you fought me all the way from Hell to your gravesite."

"Sounds like me," Dean says, with a prideful grin that Cas can hear in his voice.

I'm your music. I'm your song.

"Yes. Had I known then how you would change me, I might have held you even tigher."

"Or you might have let go, save yourself the trouble," Dean quips, but there's a fragility to it that has Cas stop the dance and take Dean's cheek in his palm, guiding him to look at him.

Play me time and time again, and make me strong.

"I wouldn't trade the life that we have built for anything. All the time that I have loved you has been-" Cas can't help the tears starting to catch at his voice - "Has been the best of my existence."

Dean's welling up along with him. Perhaps they will both cry every time he tells Dean he loves him. A very small price to pay, in comparison.

"Cas," Dean says in a rasp, and knocks their foreheads together gently. Two teardrops fall from Dean's eyes to Cas’s cheeks with the movement.

Andante, andante, tread lightly on my ground.

No matter who moved in for the kiss, they both lean into it, careful and soft and everything they haven't managed to be with each other until this point. The passion shared between them is palpable, even as the kiss remains relatively chaste. There's no finish line to run to, anymore. No Apocalypse to beat. They have the time to dance together, just as slowly as they please.

Andante, andante, oh please don't let me down.

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thegreenthepeacetheorange · 6 months

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Everlark (Catching Fire, Ch. 1-4)

(here we go again gang)

katniss constantly repeats that she's not sure of what she feels for peeta in these chapters and also that it wasn't just an act: "it wasn't just a strategy for peeta. i'm not sure what it was for me//i'm not indifferent (said to snow)//my love... was something of an act//there had been times where i didn't honestly know how i felt about him. i still don't really"

the way katniss describes gale vs the way she describes peeta is so funny. she acknowledges gale is handsome but then it's "dark straight hair, olive skin, grey eyes." peeta however: "peeta crosses to the table, the sunlight from the window picking up the glint of fresh snow in his blond hair. he looks strong and healthy" - like. it's almost like everytime she sees peeta it's through the lens of the romance cam. the descriptions are very 'main love attraction in a romcom movie arriving on the scene.'

they've not really spoken much (or at least in their usual way of talking) in about 6 months at this point so their relationship is a bit stilted. the sound of his voice is enough to twist her stomach with unpleasant emotions like guilt, sadness and fear. but she says there's longing too, only the others emotions are too powerful.

"it's not until he's handed haymitch the heel that he even looks at me for the first time" - she's been watching him all this time, while he avoids her eyes, waiting for him to look at her. and she feels some type of way about him not looking at her.

when her talk with snow finally turns to peeta, she finds she can't keep ahold of snow's gaze.

she feels disgusted that she's having to talk to snow about her feelings for "two of the people i care most about." - peeta, who she only started speaking to less than a year ago, has come to hold equal weight in her eyes as gale at this point.

in these early chapters in catching fire, we really see katniss correlate peeta with the capitol/the games. like something she's having pushed on her by this powerful entity that she resents. she notes many times that she's kissing him or hugging him or whatever for the audience, because she has to. and snow coming in and ordering her to "convince me" amplifies all that by a million. then when haymitch points out that her romance with peeta is going to have to be forever, she also stresses because her right to choose between boys or even to choose between being single or not is completely taken away from her. which fuels her more negative feelings on her situation with peeta.

again i will note that she likens haymitch's choice of being alone as "solitary confinement" - it's not something she deep down wants for herself

have to discuss her first kiss with gale (sorry)

her description of her first kiss with gale feels more romantic than her first one with peeta tbh. she mentions the warmth of his lips, his hands easily entrapping her, her making a noise in the back of her throat. her curled up fingers resting on his chest.

but then when she tries to reflect on the kiss, all she can remember is the pressure of his lips/the smell of the oranges they had. and she says it's pointless comparing that kiss with the many she's had with peeta and that she doesn't know if any of them counted. again, this is more of her feelings about cameras and the capitol taking over.

i also think her kiss with gale felt unnatural to her compared to the kisses she's had with peeta when they had fallen into their domesticity rhythm.

anyways both her and gale pretend like the kiss didn't happen but because of it gale has broken some "invisible barrier" between them and they can't go back to having their friendship of before.

even though she's not talking to peeta really still, he is still one of the key 3 people she thinks of confiding in - but she doesn't want to break him more and at this point is pretty convinced of his love/goodness that she knows he will "perform" regardless of if he knows of snow's demands or not

this is what she says about her and peeta's first kiss in months: "i can feel the steadiness that peeta brings to everything. and i know i'm not alone... he's still looking out for me. just as he did in the arena. somehow the thought makes me want to cry"

on peeta's body hair: "i can remember peeta's now, as i bathed him by the stream. very blond in the sunlight, once the mud and blood had been washed away" - very intimate

katniss is OBSESSED with peeta in the sunlight. the snow in his hair in the sunlight, his body hair in the sunlight and in a few chapters she'll notice his eyelashes in the sunlight i think in the last book she also mentioned peeta's face illuminated by the sunlight coming in through their cave. like it really feels like there's this glow around him in her eyes.

peeta's apology. so soft, so sweet. and he just wants to try be friends. at this point, he really thinks katniss was completely faking it and gale is her real boyfriend and he still comes to her with his little apology and the idea of being friends. he's just so...

she smiles when they have their conversation about their favourite colours. like a genuine one

she imagines the orange of his sunset and thinks beautiful. this leads her to think of his cookies. she associates beauty a lot with peeta, like at the end of THG when she says peeta looks beautiful the first time she sees him post-games.

later on when she sees the orange dress patterned with autumn leaves, she thinks how much peeta will like the colour. she's obsessed. peeta is going to think i'm so pretty in this orange dress! (she doesn't say or think this but you know, it's there)

they go straight to handholding again (but friendship handholding of course!) (an aside: i don't think i've ever just held my friends' hands and she also never hold gale's hands)

so many of peeta's paintings featuring katniss.

one of katniss's key nightmares is peeta bleeding to death

when peeta offers rue and thresh's families one month of their earnings every year, that comes completely from him and his heart. he didn't even know those two but for what they did for katniss and because he knows the needless brutality they faced, he does this. and it mirrors what katniss thought of doing for them when she found out thresh had died that night. they are in tune. "at this moment, it's impossible to imagine how i could do any better... so when i rise up on tiptoe to kiss him, it doesn't seem forced at all" - he continues to win her over, despite how much she thinks she has to act for the cameras

#everlark #peeta x katniss #katniss x peeta #katniss and peeta #peeta mellark #katniss everdeen #tgtpto everlark read #the hunger games #catching fire

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irayoeywa · 8 months

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the name game ✧

part eight, the finale

neteyam sully x fem!omatikaya!reader

warnings/notes - fluff, love confession, kissing, bold & italics mean flashback, characters are speaking na'vi unless stated otherwise, gif is mine, divider creds to shifterium.

na'vi words used (with translations) - atokirina - wood sprite uniltaron - dream hunt eltungawng - glow worm kali'weya - arachnoid yawne - beloved tute asevin - pretty woman vitraya ramunong - tree of souls kuru - queue naer - alcoholic beverage swoasey - hand sized bowls used for the naer

< part seven

series masterlist main masterlist

y/n's days were usually peaceful.

or, that's what they used to be.

lately, they've been anything but that. not since what happened about a month ago…

your head snapped up when the words left neteyam's mouth. he looked nervous, his face carried a tight-lipped smile and his eyes were avoiding your own. and your silence wasn't making him feel any better. after what seemed like forever, you finally decided to speak. and coincidentally, neteyam decided to vocalize something at the same time.

"i can't accept this."

"i see you."

the two of you said in unison. after both pieces were spoken, the two of you stared at one another with wide eyes. you, shocked at his confession and neteyam, shocked at your rejection.

after the initial shock, neteyam was the first to speak.

"what? why not?" was the first thing he asked. he sounded upset and the look on his face didn't make you feel any less terrible for rejecting him.

"because this is serious. and i haven't done anything to deserve this." you said, putting the necklace back in his hands.

"y/n-"

you cut him off, "i didn't tell you my name for months, i avoided you every time i saw you, and i couldn't even understand when the great mother sent me a sign, two signs at that. so no, i can't accept this, because i don't deserve it."

once the words left your lips, a silence fell over the two of you. shaking your head, you started to get up from your seated position. a cool breeze washing over your calves and feet that were no longer immersed in the shallow water of the pond. you didn't even bother grabbing the half weaved anklet and you honestly didn't even care about it at the moment, you just wanted to leave. the last thing you wanted to do was deal with the aftermath of the now undoubtedly awkward situation you created.

neteyam watched you with a hurt expression. he really wasn't expecting this to be the reaction that he received. the worst case scenario was unfolding and he was having trouble wrapping his head around it.

but neteyam wasn't letting you walk away just yet. he was like his brother that way, never admitting defeat until it was absolutely necessary.

you had almost disappeared from his line of sight before he spoke up, making you stop in your tracks.

"i saw it." was all he said.

you turned around, looking at him in confusion. you wanted an explanation and he planned on giving you one, he just needed you to stop walking away first. neteyam stood up and began slowly walking towards you.

"i saw the atokirina that day, you thought i didn't see it but i did. i saw it." neteyam confessed, "i didn't understand what it meant at first so i went to talk to my grandmother to ask her about it. she helped me realize that you mean so much to me and maybe eywa was telling me that the two of us are meant to be something more for each other. i was originally going to wait until after i went through uniltaron to do this but once my mother told me you actually came to the marui to drop off my visor, that let me know that you are trying to be more open and that means a lot to me. so i knew now was the right time. i know you have your own reasons as to why you didn't tell me your name and you can explain when you're ready, but i don't care about that because nothing can get in the way of my feelings for you. i see you, y/n."

it was as if your brain went haywire. your mouth was parted slightly in surprise while your eyes began to water. there were so many things you had to process but didn't have enough time to. he saw the atokirina that day, so maybe it was a sign for the both of you. his speech also made you realize that he is willing to be patient with you even after you did everything in your power to push him away. even now, you tried to walk away from this situation. he wasn't giving up on you that easily. he wore his heart on his sleeve and now it was him that deserved an explanation, and you were finally ready to give it to him.

you let out a sigh, "i.. i never really liked attention. being the sibling that nobody really knew about. it was more peaceful that way. and so when you, the son of the olo'eytkan wanted to be my friend, i knew that would draw attention. attention that i didn't want. so i thought if you didn't know my name and if we didn't speak at high camp, i could still have a sense of normalcy while being your friend."

neteyam didn't say anything, he just stared at you as you continued to explain.

"but you mean so much to me and i realize that not only was i taking you for granted, i was also pushing you away. and i apologize for that." you sent him a small smile, hoping your explanation made sense.

for a moment, the sound of nature was the only thing that could be heard. neteyam began to walk closer towards you. his steps got smaller as you two were now nearly chest to chest. he then took your face into his hands, softly caressing your cheeks as he looked into your eyes.

the close proximity was intimate and you had no choice but to look into his eyes as well. and in that moment, you felt a sense of comfort and normalcy. like this is supposed to be your new normal.

neteyam smiled softly, "there's nothing to apologize for. i see you."

"and i see you." you breathed out, a smile stretching across your face once you said the words.

neteyam smiled before leaning in, bringing your lips together. you wasted no time in responding to the kiss. it was slow, but that's all it had to be. it was passionate and that's all that matters.

once you pulled away neteyam took a step back, "are you going to accept my gift now?"

you laughed and nodded, "yeah of course."

he smiled before motioning for you to turn around. you did so and lifted your braided hair so he could secure the necklace around your necklace. while he was doing so you suddenly remembered something.

"you know, i went to the tsahìk to ask her about the atokirina too."

"really?" you couldn't see but neteyam had an amused expression on his face.

you nodded and he shook his head, "that's probably why she looked amused when i explained everything to her. because you had already told her."

"hey, i needed answers and she's wise."

"that she is."

it's been a month since that day and you and neteyam have been moving at a pace comfortable for the both of you. you've been getting closer while still keeping some things the same such as still hanging out in the forest and going on ikran rides together. the only difference is you're now romantically involved with one another.

but your presence within the clan definitely changed. thanks to your big mouth sister, the entire clan now knows that neteyam is officially courting you.

now, everywhere you go, people are either staring at you or trying to speak to you. it was like you were suddenly the main focus to everyone. most people didn't even know you existed so they were curious to see who the future olo'eyktan was supposedly planning to mate with.

dealing with all the attention was very stressful at first. you didn’t want to leave your marui because of all the people that would stare at you. but of course, neteyam helped you get through it and eventually, you got somewhat used to it. it still did bother you though, but you tried your best not to think about it too much.

today is a very important day. today is the day that neteyam finally goes through his final rite of passage before he finally earns his place among the people forever.

uniltaron is a rite of passage that all omatikayan people are required to go through. even though it was a significant tradition in omatikayan culture, that didn’t stop it from being dangerous.

the first step of uniltaron was for the tsahìk to place a eltungawng into the navi’s mouth. this glow worm gave the na’vi the ability to hallucinate. then the olo’eyktan would take a kali'weya and have it stab the na’vi twice in the shoulder. the venom from the kali'weya mixed with the compound from the glow worm gives the na'vi the opportunity to experience their vision from eywa. but, the venom from the arachnoid was powerful enough to completely stop someone's heart. there have been na’vi people that have died during the ritual. the occurrence was rare but, never impossible.

your uniltaron happened about two months before you met neteyam. it usually took hunters/warriors longer to go through the rite of passage because he had to complete other things before reaching this destination. since your place in the clan is being an artisan, all you had to do was tame an ikran beforehand. neteyam on the other hand had other tasks to handle first.

even though you made it through okay, that didn't mean you weren't scared and nervous at first. and you were feeling those exact same emotions for neteyam.

during the ritual, there are other clan members surrounding the na'vi that is going through uniltaron. these clan members are usually people that are close to them. meaning family, friends, and partners. since you and netetyam are now promised to each other, that meant you were going to be in attendance.

your palms were slightly clammy and your stomach was in knots as you walked through high camp. and because your nerves were at all time high, you barely noticed the couple of people that turned their heads at the sight of you.

once you got to your destination, you peaked your head in the marui that the sullys resided in. seeing that they were all there. tuk seated on the ground, messing around with her hexapede toy. lo'ak and spider were in their own world, holding a conversation of their own. your eyes scanned the room before finally landing on the boy you came for.

neteyam was seated while his dad kneeled down in front of him, talking to him. his body language looked serious so you assumed that he was most likely giving him a lecture or a pep talk for what was to come. jake is the one that has to do the part that frightened you the most. beside him was neytiri and kiri, they were preparing the white body paint that would go on both his face and body.

you decided to finally make your presence known. you walked in and everyone’s head went up, seeing who just walked in. luckily, everyone greeted you with smiles.

neteyam had properly introduced you to all of them a week after he began courting you. the two of you knew that there would be a lot of questions and demands your families would have so the first week was just you and neteyam. enjoying your time together before everyone knew. when you told your family a week later, they all said they had a hunch. they noticed the necklace that resided around your neck and knew something was up because it wasn't crafted nearly as well as your usual accessories. they were just waiting on you to say something

kiri was the only sully that knew for the entire week since neteyam told her your answer the night he got home. she was happy for her brother, happy that he found someone. she was also delighted that she was able to help make the necklace for you.

when neteyam told the rest of the family, tuk smiled and said she was happy for him, which was expected. spider started laughing, turning his head to his lo'ak and telling him that he owed him a ride on his ikran. lo'ak started objecting, telling spider that he didn't win the bet because they haven't mated yet. neteyam shook his head, not even surprised they made a bet.

his parent, on the other hand, were surprised. they knew their son had some type of romantic feeling towards you but wasn't sure if he was bold enough to act on it. they were a little skeptical at first, not knowing if he was serious enough about this and if he was making the right decision. but after having a conjoined dinner with both of your families, it was clear to jake and neytiri and your parents that you and neteyam were very serious. mo'at had even said that she saw something special with the two of you. after that, they were more than happy to welcome you into the family.

and it wasn't long before your sister started running her mouth to everyone in high camp, telling them about you and neteyam. she was mainly the reason why and how the entire clan found out rather quickly.

while you began to hang out with kiri more, neteyam hung out with nanti a lot more. nanti and neteyam had a general sense of respect for one another so it didn't much for them to get along.

but being accepted by the sullys meant a lot to you so it warmed your heart that they were more than happy to have you around.

as you walked over to neteyam, you greeted jake properly. he was still the olo'eyktan and you wanted to be respectful. he greeted you back before giving neteyam a firm pat on the shoulder. he then stood to his feet and walked away. neteyam smiled as you sat down in the spot jake was once in.

"good morning, yawne." neteyam smiled.

you blushed at the pet name, "good morning teyam."

your eyes shifted to neytiri, who had just finished making the paint with kiri.

"i can do it, if that's okay." you say to neytiri, motioning towards the bowl. she looks at you before smiling and handing it to you.

she and kiri stand, walking away as well. you then dipped your fingers into the white paint before applying to neteyam's face in a series of patterns.

"are you nervous?" you asked him, briefly making eye contact with your boyfriend.

"not really. i mean i've been preparing for this my whole life." he answered honestly, "i can tell that you are though." he laughed.

"it's not funny." you frowned as you dipped your fingers back in the paint, now placing the patterns on his neck and collarbone area.

"i just don't want anything bad to happen."

"i know you're scared of the kali'weya but nothing is going to happen, i promise." neteyam spoke, bending his head a little to make eye contact with you since your eyes were focused on his neck.

"you can't promise something like that."

he leaned in and placed a kiss on your forehead, "well i just did, tute asevin."

you smiled softly before the sound of gagging took you out of your trance. you and neteyam turned your heads to see lo'ak and spider fake gagging as they watched and listened to your conversation.

“you can’t promise something like that.” spider said in an over-exaggerated feminine voice.

lo'ak then licked his lips, puckering up and then kissing the air dramatically which neteyam rolled his eyes at, "well i just did, tute asevin."

"you two are insufferable." you laughed.

"and you guys make me sick." lo'ak rebutted.

you and neteyam waved them off before continuing your conversation. once you finished applying the paint to neteyam's body, it was time to go.

uniltaron never took long. the ritual itself took maybe an hour if that. but right now, it felt like hours. you sat in a circle with the neteyam's family, as well as your sister while neteyam sat in the middle of the circle. since neteyam now considered nanti a close friend, she was also in attendance. your parents were happy that their two most antisocial children were actually venturing out and being more open.

the ritual had begun and it played out just how you remembered. neteyam had consumed the eltungawng and it was taking effect rather quickly. you watched intently as his father took the kali'weya out of the bowl it was residing in. your breath hitched as it stabbed neteyam twice in the shoulder.

you gasped as the boy groaned as he hissed and doubled over, placing his hands on the ground in front of him. the tsahìk began fanning smoke towards him as everyone in the circle began to sing a traditional na'vi song. you sung the song as you stared at neteyam with concern. he was still in the position from before. you tried not to panic because you remember the pain that it causes but you couldn't help it.

after a few moments, neteyam sat up, which you were relieved. the singing continued as he had his vision from eywa. once the ritual was over, you thanked the great mother for allowing him to get through the ceremony safely.

after the effects of the insects wore off eventually and he was back to normal, the entire clan gathered at the vitraya ramunong. jake recited a saying before declaring neteyam as one of the people. he then placed both of his hands on neteyams' shoulders. mo'at did the same and everyone followed in pursuit, holding onto the shoulders of the person in front of them. you held onto the shoulders of kiri and nanti placed her hands on yours.

once that was completed, everyone returned to high camp for the celebration. so far everyone was having a great time. people were singing and dancing as the music from the blue flute played. there was food and drinks. parties like this were always nice.

you didn't want to be glued to neteyam's side for the entire night, especially since a lot of people were going up and talking to him. he respected that you didn't really want to be that social so you both agreed to meet at the tree of souls again after the party was over.

"yo i got us something!" lo'ak exclaimed as he rushed over to where you, spider, tuseÿa, and ri'an were sitting.

"what?" tuseÿa asked, looking at him weirdly. once it was out that you and neteyam were serious, tuseÿa had to let go of her crush on lo'ak, reluctantly doing so but she loved you and neteyam together.

lo'ak grinned before handing swoaseys to all of you. you took the swoasey from his hands and looked in it, it had some type of liquid in it. you went ahead and smelled it. the strong smell of naer filled your nostrils.

"lo'ak who gave this to you?" you asked, grimacing at the smell of the beverage. you were old enough to drink naer but the rest of the teenagers around you definitely weren't.

"sanari snuck me some. all i had to do was tell her she has pretty eyes." lo'ak laughed as he drank the liquid from his small bowl. you have drank naer before but you weren't really fond of the taste so you didn't drink it often. and to your surprise, all the teens around you downed their cups with ease.

"is there something i'm missing or?" you asked as you looked at them in confusion.

tuseÿa laughed, "we've all drank before y/n, what do you think we do when we're out with our friends at night."

"well i don't like naer so one of you can have mine." you said, outstretching your hand with the swoasey in it. lo'ak went to grab it when a hand came out of nowhere and took it from you. you looked up to see kiri holding it, staring at lo'ak.

"unless you want to be drunk in front of mom and dad, i suggest you calm down with the drinks." she glared at him. lo'ak rolled his eyes and in response as kiri sat down beside you.

"hey." you greeted her.

she looked at you and smiled, "hey y/n, why are you hanging out with these losers and not my brother?"

"hey!" the teenagers all exclaimed. she ignored them as she awaited your answer.

"this night is all about him so i wanted him to enjoy it. also there's a lot of people coming up to him and you know how i am."

"well he looks like he's losing his mind without you." she laughed, lifting her hand and pointing in a certain direction.

you followed her finger to see neteyam talking to two men. they were both built and wore cummerbunds so you assumed that they were both hunters. you were surprised to see that neteyam was staring at you as he was conversing with them. a smile crept on your face and he smiled back before looking away.

"he's so fucking whipped bro!" lo'ak shook his head, speaking english.

after a while, the music being played on the blue flute had come to a stop and the party ended. many na'vi were intoxicated as they stumbled their way back to their marui's. others had their kids sleeping in their arms from being up so late and others said goodbye and goodnight to their friends.

it was now time for you to meet neteyam at vitraya ramunong. you quickly went to your marui to grab something you had made a couple days ago. as you were making your way to the ikrans, you unexpectedly bumped into a figure, causing you to drop the item in your hand.

"oh i'm so sorry!" you rushed out, looking up noticing that you bumped into jake.

"it's all good y/n, let me get that for you." he bent down and picked up the item. once it was in his hand he stared it before looking at you, "did you make this for neteyam?"

you nodded, a little nervous of what his reaction would be. after a moment of silence, a smile etched onto his face. it was small but it was still there nonetheless.

"you're a good kid, y/n. and i know you make neteyam happy. you'll make a great tsahìk one day." he spoke before handing you what you dropped and walked away. you were frozen in your spot. a great tsahìk? did he think that highly of you? well, you are promised to the future olo'eyktan but it didn't really hit you that you were technically the next tsahìk of your beloved clan.

you managed to walk to your ikran despite the shock still evident in your face. you mounted your banshee and flew to the tree of souls. you landed in a spot that most ikrans resided when there were gatherings here.

neteyam was already there. he had his kuru connected to a few of the bioluminescent vines that hung from the beautiful tree. when he heard the screech of your ikran, he disconnected from the tree and watched as you got off your banshee and made your way over to him.

once you were close enough, neteyam rushed over to you and swiftly picked you up off your feet and spun you around.

"hello to you too." you giggled once he put you back on the ground.

"i missed you." he said, resting his forehead against yours.

"it was only a couple hours."

"i know but i wanted to spend the entire night with you. but i know you would've been uncomfortable with the amount of people that were coming up to me." he says, backing away from you so he could see your face better. he went to grab both of your hands and noticed you holding something.

"what's that?" neteyam asked.

you looked at the item he was talking about, "ok so as a gift for completing your final rite of passage, i made you your very first cummerbund." you handed it to him.

neteyam's eyes lit up as he took it from your hands. no surprise that it was neatly woven and the patterns were well put together. he looked up from the cummerbund and threw his arms around you.

"thank you so much yawne, this means a lot."

"you're welcome." you smiled as he began putting it on, "your dad told me that i would make a good tsahìk one day."

neteyam paused, looking up from the accessory and at you. he held a look of shock on his face. he didn't know that his father thought that highly of you.

"really? how does that make you feel?" was the first thing he asked. he wanted to put your feelings at the forefront of the conversation.

you noticed neteyam's fingers fumbling with making sure the cummerbund was on securely. you moved closer to him and made sure it was on correctly.

"i was honestly surprised, i hadn't really thought about it before." you answered honestly.

"if you do not wish to be tsahìk then you don't have to be."

"i know.. but is it something that you want for us?" you looked up at him.

"i'm fine with whatever you're comfortable with. so don't worry about what i want." neteyam reassured you. you gave him a warm smile before stepping back, looking at the cummerbund hug his stomach.

"it looks good on you." before you could take another breath, neteyam grabbed your hand and pulled you back towards him. your chests now pressed each other.

neteyam used a finger to bring your face closer to his. his lips ghosted over yours. your eyes fluttered shut, drinking in this moment of intimacy.

"all thanks to you." he muttered before placing his lips on your own. the kiss felt like any other kiss the two of you shared. gentle and affectionate. lips moving in sync as the environment around you glowed in different hues of blue, purple, and green.

you were the first to pull away, giggling when neteyam's lips chased your own. you looked at him, admiring his face as his bioluminescent dots glowed in the night.

"now that you've gone through your final rite of passage, we can finally.. you know.." you trailed off, hoping neteyam would get the hint.

and judging from how his eyes widened, he definitely did.

"are you sure? you know we can wait."

you nod your head, "i want this. i want to be with you."

neteyam physically felt his heart swell at your words. he brought his hand up to your face and caressed your cheek, "oel ngati kameie."

"oel ngati kameie." you leaned into his touch.

the two of you then reached for your kuru's before bringing them over your shoulders. the hair at the end of the braid moving to the side as the pink tendrils made themselves visible. you looked at neteyam who was holding his kuru, looking like he was waiting for your approval. you gave him a confident nod and brought your kuru closer to his.

once they were close enough, the tendrils in your neural queues connected with one another. your mouth dropped as you felt a sense of euphoria washing over you. you felt like you had to catch your breath. once doing so, your eyes locked with neteyam who looked like he was feeling the same emotions as you. you leaned in and pulled him into a passionate kiss.

you and neteyam were now mated for a lifetime.

a lifetime you couldn't wait to live.

sorry this took so long. also, the confession wasn't as good as it could've been but i'm not that good at writing stuff like that so that's the best it's going to get.

thank you to everyone that read and enjoyed this. i have more things i'm working on but school started so please just bare with me.

taglist - @fanboyluvr @liluvtojineteyam @arminsgfloll @squidalapobre @jjkclub @angelsamor @baebinana @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @hana-yuri @riatesullironalite @camilo-uwu @audigay @jkeluv @marsbars09 @applepie-macaroon

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ohraicodoll · 1 year

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you said in your domestic hc’s that ellie and red fight, what would their arguements look like and how would they start???

A list of the various fights between Ellie and Red:

Sometimes Ellie gets mad because at first Red let's her get away with so much. The duality of wanting to do what she wants versus craving that parental strictness she heard about and sees with other kids are at war until she snaps at the woman to "I don't know, fucking ground me or something!"

"You don't even know what that means-"

"I know I don't! Do it anyways!"

Joel takes the reigns on the "parenting" front and Red tends to follow his lead. When a curfew is set and Ellie breaks it, she's the one sitting on the couch when the girl comes through the front door. There's a tension on either sides and Red points to the stairs, teeth clenched, "You wanted to get grounded so bad. There you go. Room. Now. Until I say you're done."

Turns out being grounded isn't so fun.

Red knows Ellie is trying to keep a tough kid act in those early days of Jackson. But she draws a line when she hears Ellie mention fighting someone to get a radio she wants. She tears into her harshly, Joel standing back and not interfering as she grips the young girls chin and snarls, "No. We don't hurt people for greed or for fun. Ever." They say nothing as the woman stomps up the stairs.

There's something there in her words. Ellie begins to get angry, frustrated, because even in all the months and everything they went through Red still hasn't opened up. She understands both her and Joel went through terrible shit, but even Joel has managed to talk about Sarah. She yells and yells more when Red remains tight lipped and unyielding.

Red whispers to Joel late at night, his arms around her and holding her tight, that it's for the best. Joel doesn't push it. They've had to do ugly things to survive.

There's a frustration in Ellie when Red dodges questions about the hospital. But they stick to the story. It's not time yet for that conversation.

When Red meets her outside class so they can walk to the kennels, one of the teachers loudly whispers that she can't believe they're letting anyone into Jackson. "When she ends up killing people, they'll be sorry." Ellie only stares as her guardian stays silent, lips in a hard-pressed line and fists clenched but saying nothing. She turns to yell at the teacher but Red grips her shoulder and marches her forward and away.

They don't make it to the kennels before Ellie is arguing with her that she should have spoken up, should have fought the woman or said something back. She doesn't know the situation Red is in, the threat that she may be kicked out. Silence is the safest route.

When Ellie sees Red begin to withdrawal, staying at the kennels more and hardly being at home, she doesn't understand what's happening. She tries to coax her back with innocuous things and then by asking for help with dumb projects. She even breaks her bathroom door so the woman can come help fix it. It's not until she overhears Joel talking to Tommy that she understands it had to deal with Harper. That Harper had been trying to replace her and get with Joel, pushing the other woman out, and then punched Red to antagonize her.

Red may not be able to fight Harper, but that doesn't mean Ellie doesn't try to go after the woman herself next time they see her. Red has to pull her back, arm around her waist, but she still yells at the woman that she'd fuck her up if she comes near her family. And when they get home, she's surprised to see Red angry, jaw clenched, "Don't. I get it, Ellie, but you don't do that. That's not your fight, that's mine."

She doesn't want Ellie to fight her battles. That's not something that should be on her shoulders and if anyone was going to knock Harper's teeth in, it was going to be her.

Sometimes the fights are smaller. Less fights and more butting heads.

Ellie complains about their cooking. Often.

Red gets after her for not feeding the dogs on time or locking the pens correctly

Ellie yells at them both for being too loud at night once and traumatizing her

Joel gets after both of them for stealing his shirts

Red seriously gets after her when she catches her sneaking out beyond the wall. There are small ways the kids know how to, despite how secure the place is, and she rips into her. Ellie doesn't think she's ever seen her so mad and had it directed at her, but there's an edge of fear to it. If something happened, they wouldn't know. If she was kidnapped or someone discovered her infection or if the patrol mistook them for outsiders. There was a thousand possibilities in Red's mind.

Ellie is on house arrest for at least a week, maybe longer. As much as she wants to pout about it, she takes it. She's too smart to be that dumb.

In the end though, they always make up. One will sit next to the other on the porch, nudging their shoulders together. Sometimes they offer food, sometimes a book or an offer to go listen to music. The offers and gentle touches are their own form of apology. But it's not until Red wraps her arms around the young girl's shoulders and she hugs her in return that they both relax and know it's all okay.

#anon asks #asks #series: feral #Joel Miller x Feral Reader #Tlou fanfic #Ellie Williams fanfic #Joel Miller fanfic #Ellie Williams imagine #Joel Miller imagine #the last of us fanfic #Raicodoll writes

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eldritch-spouse · 8 months

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Me: *squints at the photo, pushing my glasses up a little* “Hudd...teacher? sir?...master?... is -is that some kind of squid-bird-person that got a towel dropped on its head?”

“Sorry. Sorry...no more bad jokes...... the figure kind of reminds me of someone you’d see at a funeral. A mourner of the dead -veil over the face to hide one’s tears.

...

*takes a sip of the strange tea again -probably shouldn’t, but I wanna taste sound and hear colors*

....

The wings... hmm... I guess this is some type of angel, like -like a psychopomp! ....... I don’t really understand the tentacles though... maybe it’s to suggest that the figure isn’t exactly a merciful being; like how some see death as just another stage of life, while others dread the thought of it...

Was I close?”

(The other definitely picks up on the mumbled titles, a hint of something that you could swear is a purr rising in his throat before he forcibly silences it.)

" Close enough. " (He mumbles to himself.)

(The more you fumble through possible explanations, the more Hudd's face scrunches. You must not be hitting the mark, because his expression blends between mild humor and puzzlement.)

" Humans and their... " (Hudsyn waves.) " Peculiarly overactive imagination that certainly never fails to amuse. "

(The disappointment he manifested, which was already very palpable, bleeds into you seamlessly as soon as you place your lips on the cup again. Mild irritation, longing, that rabid and feverish anticipation from before still just barely contained. Images of yourself seen from Hudd's point of view as he grabs you by the shoulders, jostling, screaming, biting, kissing-... Kissing? Oh. Oh okay. His hands roam on your hair, then clutch, pull, yank your head back. A palm cups your chest, wanton, possessive and- The vision fades entirely, jarringly even. It leaves you feeling disoriented and scared, as if something interrupted it purposely.)

(White fingers snap in front of your face.)

" ... Are you paying attention right now? "

(No. No, you weren't.)

(You register something odd in the back of your head. A tingling sensation that crawls up your scalp, to the side of your face, then your forehead. Little by little, trickles of anxiety seep into your pores. You can instinctively tell they're not coming from the demon in front of you, there's another source. One that's very muted but agitated nonetheless, grabbing at your psyche, begging you to listen. To seek. Help. It needs help. It's hurting. A phantom force veers your head in a new direction. Towards the only part of this room the light does not bathe...)

(That hall.)

(A somewhat low growl shakes you off the stupor entirely, attention locking back onto the demonoid while the intrusive signal fades from the forefront of your mind. Hudsyn is far from pleased.)

" Don't tell me you're one of those with the five second attention span. I have expectations regarding you. "

(Jab aside, he finally answers your question.)

" Yes and no. " (The demon makes a face.) " It truly makes me marvel just how much humanity has lost sight of what's real or not. And I've harped on this a lot, you would know. Your fiction grows and grows and now- The truth muddles. A psychopomp? A mourner? Tentacles as a symbol of evil?! " (Hudsyn snickers.)

" That, mentee, is an angel. No more, no less. This much you got right. " (There's a nod.)

(The historian claps his hands together, some of that earlier giddiness slipping out again.)

" An angel. " (He repeats.) " Here. On the surface. More of them, so many more! "

" Do you know one thing that's common to most -If not all- Angels? "

(He's got that stare that tells you the question is entirely rhetorical.)

" They've all spent some manner of time with siadar. Seen them, spoken to them, learned their culture and their tongues. "

(He emphasizes the last part, grits it out.)

" This specimen is a guardian-rank. I studied him very, very well before my work truly began. "

(The look Hudd gives you is a lot more friendly this time.)

" Go on, I know you must be dying to know more, ask about him. "

(You have a feeling things are going to get interesting soon.)

#Hudd oc #pinnie's art

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meadowmusing · 3 months

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my thoughts before the PJO finale

overall? A good fun show but with some definite stumbling. Faithful in a "remake" sense, but as much as a "port" would be. Still a genuinely good time with a likeable cast, gorgeous visuals, and an engaging (mostly) interesting plot.

Beware spoilers for ep1-7!

My biggest gripes

Pacing. the first episode was horribly paced. Somehow both rushed, not well condensed, and yet also failed to effectively deliver tension in important scenes it was needed in. Scenes like the minotaur felt dragged out and lacked the urgency it deserved, and the fight/victory fell kind of flat. Pacing got better in later episodes thankfully.

Sally Jackson. Yeah I know, not a hot take. She's a more realistic depiction of a mother in that kind of situation but I didn't find her likeable outside of her first scene talking about the name Perseus. She's not necessarily a "Bad Character" per se, but she is not the Sally Jackson from the books. Frankly, I didn't find book Sally all that important, but seeing this version has definitely wised me up to importance of her kindness and patience. Sure she might have seemed like a "doormat" at the beginning, but the more u learnt about her, the more her inner strength and self sacrificial love for Percy was apparent. TV Sally just doesn't have that, it doesn't feel like she has that much affection for Percy, she seems more distant and less loving. TV Sally has far too many scenes of her raising her voice at Percy and being frustrated with him, it makes it seem more like she was randomly stuck with this child and while she loves him, she knows deep down she would have been happier without him. Again, understandable but not book Sally. I feel they've sort of played up Percy's fierce love for his mum (or maybe it just feels more so because its more present in his spoken lines), but it doesn't feel as justified. If anything, id believe a more messy wrought relationship between the two. Its not a bad thing she's not the exact same as her book counterpart, but I do think it was a bad decision when they went so hard on Percy being ride or die for her, when most of her longer scenes are her being just frustrated with Percy being a child.

Gabe. ok more of a hot take I guess but I seriously disagree with his re-characterization. I don't mean to downplay anyone's experiences with toxic or abusive partners, but Gabe is far too bland and inoffensive. At worst, he's kind of annoying and maybe lazy. But he is nothing like the human sht stain that was book Gabe. Book Gabe deserved petrification and a lot worse, TV Gabe does not. The guy deserves a break up, not murder. Me and my friend actually laughed at him, because he didn't give "beats his wife and emotionally abuses her and her child", he gave "dead beat crypto boyfriend". Maybe it was the casting as well, the actor was funny and just seemed more goofy than actively horrid. "what makes u think he hasn't hit sally?" have u met TV Sally?? are u kidding me? she would have that man arrested.

Hades. I don't actually dislike making Hades friendly and more sassy. Sure its not book accurate, but you could argue its a little more mythologically accurate (maybe). My real problem is that he lacks PRESCENCE. Yes he can be nicer ect in this, but he is still the GOD OF THE UNDERWORLD. He should still be able to command a room! His words, even if they're not malicious or intimidating, should hold a certain kind of weight. I don't blame the actor here, I think he does well with what he's given but pretty much everyone else dropped the ball here. If they had supported him, we could have had a friendly Hades that was still a fitting lord of the underworld. Writers, directors, lighting, sound, ect let him down.

Persassy. Percy was great in the beginning but I felt like he started to lose that as the show went on, to give more of his lines/sassy moments to the other members of the trio. Which wasn't a terrible idea, I just think they did it too much, especially with the Ares scenes. Percy is meant to have an epic beef with Ares so much it transcends magic amnesia, but I could not believe that with the current lack of sass. Even the upcoming battle doesn't feel as weighty or deserved as it should. Again, don't hate the idea of sharing the sass around, just don't think it should come at the cost of Percy being toned down so much.

Getting into the underworld / mattress scene WHAT WAS THAT. I can accept that Percy knows more about Greek mythology because of his mom and i feel generally from just current cultural zeitgeist, but WHY THE HELL WOULD HE KNOW WHO CRUSTY IS?? and why was it so quick? there was no quick desperate clever thinking, it was like bro had read the scene from the book and then SPEED RAN IT. Also the Charon scene was far more interesting imo and I don't like that they cut it in favour for Crusty, without even doing that scene well. God that was so poorly executed.

Anyway thanks for reading my rant. Its long so it may seem like I didn't like the series but im being truthful when I say I did. I pretty much liked the rest of it, even some of the changes. I thinks a good show and adaption with some flaws, thats all. Im excited to finish up the season and im so pumped for season 2 and hopefully the rest of the series :D

#just musing #pjo #percy jackson #pjo tv series #percy jackson and the olympians #percy jackson series #pjo series #pjo tv show #pjo spoilers #pjo tv show spoilers #spoilers #percy jackson spoilers

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woso-dreamzzz · 2 months

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Injured has me in a chokehold. Has us ALL in a chokehold. ty <3 Want to apologize for how long this got… sorry

Trying to sympathize with Olga and Alexia but it's a little hard to because it seems like they've never spoken about Bambi’s presence and what that meant when Olga first got into a relationship with Alexia.

In each instance Alexia seems to see Bambi as an afterthought—and she’s normalized it to the point where she can’t help but just blurt stuff out and push Bambi to the side. It’s selfish and very traumatizing to Bambi :( why didn't they have a conversation about whether or not Olga was ready to form a relationship with not only Alexia, but Bambi too?

Had they not considered trying to co-parent Bambi first before deciding to have Jaume? It goes both ways for Alexia and Olga and the miscommunication is not just concerning for Bambi, but Jaume too. The whole bit about “I love Jaume bc he’s mine but mostly bc he’s your’s too” is so disconcerting because ??? all along Bambi’s been here and she’s Alexia’s. Was Bambi always going to be that bastard child Olga couldn’t fully love just because she wasn’t something Olga (nor Alexia, kinda) really wanted?

This is a little irrational but what if Olga decides that Jaume is actually her’s the way she’s internalized that Bambi’s Alexia’s? I feel like it’s so wrong to assume possession of a child when you get into a relationship with someone who has children already. It’s not to say Olga needs to want Bambi as much as Jenni does immediately… but I feel like it would’ve been much less painful to have considered forming a relationship with Alexia AND Bambi. What are your thoughts?

ig I just really like how complex and thought-evoking everything is! Olga didn’t try with Bambi because she didn’t want to be rejected by Alexia. Alexia didn’t try to get Olga and Bambi to interact more because she thought Olga didn’t want to. The true villain here is miscommunication and clearly the two need to be more frank about where they’re heading because this seems like slippery slope into a bad marriage and …really bad parenting. Alexia’s already overcompensating with Jaume and I doubt that’s any good too.

It’s kind of easy to align with Alba and Jenni considering the Putellas-Rios household so far has done nothing but harm poor Bambi. I do appreciate seeing their views and the grovelling Alexia doing… but team Jenni! She’s at an advantage where she can prioritize Bambi and always consider what’s best for the child. Not only that, but she truly wants Bambi and is being so mature and respectful towards Alexia about it (sorry lol… I currently cannot fathom how Alexia could possibly get us to the reconciliation outcome. Enjoying the attempts though.) Kids should never have to go through parents who don’t completely, wholeheartedly want them. It creates resentment in both the kid… and a little bit in the parent. Bambi is definitely the definition of forced to grow up and she shouldn’t have to.

Honestly all I wanted to ask was where you currently align in terms of reconciliation or not. It’d be cool to see a little bit more of your thought process with regard to Bambi and what you think is best for her. Sorry about the long msg!

ps. lowkey was like “you got eggsma?” at Bambi the entire time

Don't apologise. I love these kinds of long messages.

It is such a complex situation because Alexia and Olga both have different ideas and thought processes and they never even realised until this was all going on.

Bambi was always a little bit self-sufficient, it was just how she was but this whole situation is maturing her much too quickly.

Of course, I'm way more informed than you guys about where this is all going/how reconciliation could be achieved. Right now, it looks pretty grim but Alexia did put in some effort (even if she did muck up the ending). Everyone can see that she's trying whether or not it's successful.

The next part is definitely going to be a bit rough for Bambi and Jenni though but somehow a bit healing in some parts. It's very easy to put Alexia and Olga as villains in Bambi's story but Jenni isn't perfect either and the next part is definitely going to be a bit of a warning about how small things can freak out a traumatised child even if you have the best intentions

#asks #Bambi

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hekateinhell · 9 months

Text

Grief, loss, and mourning are such prominent motifs in VC from the beginning to the end, especially for Louis, Lestat, and Armand.

@rainbowcarousels just reminded me of when Lestat says the name 'Nicolas' to Louis for the first time that he can remember, in the 200 years that they've loved each other:

Ah, if only I could reach back over the centuries and bring the light of this ballroom into the world I had once shared with someone else....

"What's the matter?" he [Louis] said to me suddenly.

"What?"

"I saw something, something in your eyes."

"Just thought of a boy I once loved a long time ago."

"Nicolas," he said.

"Yes, Nicolas," I answered. "Seemed all the little victories of life and life after death were so hard for him, happiness was so hard for him.. joy was an agony I think, but I don't want to think of it now."

"Some of us are infinitely better at being miserable than happy," he said gently. "We're good at it, and proud of it, and we get better and better at it, and we simply don't know what it means to be happy."

I nodded. My thoughts were as thick and confused as the dancers, the music. But the dancers and the music were beautiful. My thoughts were not.

I could not recall ever having spoken of Nicolas to Louis, never ever even mentioning Nicolas's name. But then I do not remember everything, as I once thought I did.

There is something in us, even us, that will not allow for that, something that pushes the memory of suffering that is unbearable slowly away.

"I have no gift for being miserable," I said.

"I know," he said. He laughed. Such a human face.

Such a lovely face.

There must surely have been twice as many blood drinkers now in this ballroom as there had ever been, and I sensed that I had ought to stop having such a marvelous time and return to greeting newcomers as the Prince should. But not before holding Louis for a moment, and then kissing him and telling him low in French that I loved him and always had. ~ Lestat, BC

To me, the later trilogy — maybe due in part to being more action-based and primarily set in the present? — largely lacks the depth and emotional resonance of the earlier books, but they do feature some of my favorite moments in the Chronicles as well.

And this is one of those scenes that stands out as being the final step in the process of grieving a loved one. The place where given enough support, security, and time, we can perhaps settle into and we can talk about them as being someone we once knew and loved (Claudia is different in this context because that is a shared loss to Lestat and Louis).

Additionally, the lines 'we simply don't know what it means to be happy' and 'something that pushes the memory of suffering that is unbearable slowly away' are simple enough in the language used but devastatingly powerful in describing the feelings of brain fog and disassociation that can come with living day-to-day with clinical depression and PTSD (which can also be triggered by loss), and I don't know — I'm grateful to Anne for sharing the ups-and-down her life's journey through her work in a way that made both baby and adult me's world a little less isolating and confusing. Because she understood.

#i rambled. but i really do love the entire ending of BC so very much for so many reasons #i think deep down anne likely knew it would be her last book and it was a love letter and a goodbye to them and to us #vc #the vampire chronicles #lestat/louis #lestat/nicki #lestat de lioncourt #louis de pointe du lac #nicolas de lenfent #quotes

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tenisperfection · 1 year

Text

Visitor, a 6 x 12 drabble. Buck and Eddie talk about the shooting.

Like clockwork, there's a knock right as the mac and cheese is ready.

"Oh my fucking god," Buck isn't even sure he's whispering anymore, and he isn't sure he really cares either. Briefly, he considers not answering—he is recovering from being dead, after all—even as his feet carry him to the front door automatically.

"Hi," Eddie says hurriedly and brushes past Buck into the house. Buck peers out into the hallway to check for Christopher and then remembers that he and Denny are having a sleepover. Mike from down the hall gives him a weird look that he quickly shifts into a smile, and Buck smiles back awkwardly.

"Um, hello?" Buck says, voice slightly raspy. He clears his throat. Eddie, in the five seconds since Buck let him in, has somehow managed to grab two beers from the refrigerator and is in the process of opening them.

"Hey," Eddie answers shortly, uncorking the beers deftly in a motion that's always been distracting.

"Did you just come to steal my beer?" Buck asks. "Or did Maddie—"

"Maddie didn't send me," Eddie says with a small smile. He slides one of the beers towards Buck and grabs the oven mitts from the second drawer below the counter like he's done it a thousand times before, because he's done it a thousand times before. "So Bobby brought mac and cheese?"

Ten minutes of mouthfuls of cheese and pasta and comfortable silence later, Buck broaches the topic again.

"So not that I'm not having a good time—"

"I came over because I didn't tell you the whole truth before and I came over before my courage wore off," Eddie says calmly. Buck briefly marvels at how steady Eddie sounds, even as his own chest feels a little funny. He should probably make note of that, but Eddie keeps talking.

"I think it took me by surprise," he says slowly, eyes on his nearly empty plate.

"Being shot? I'd hope so," Buck blurts out because he knows what Eddie is talking about, and then immediately winces. Eddie laughs, eyes finally coming to rest on Buck. The funny feeling intensifies.

"No, your question earlier," Eddie clairifes. "We hadn't spoken about it all this time and now—" he trails off, eyes wavering again. He takes two sips of his beer in quick succession, one of his nervous tics.

"—now we are," Buck finishes.

Eddie nods but says nothing, drinking his beer again. Buck feels as though he's siphoning off metaphorical liquid courage from Eddie.

"So let's talk about it," Buck says.

Eddie looks up at that. To Buck's surprise, he smiles. For a man who has habit and routine etched on his skin, he is constantly surprising Buck.

"I was hoping you'd say something like that."

-------------------------------------------------

"I did mean it when I said that I thought that was it," Eddie says. They've moved to the balcony, the night beautiful and endless and vast. Eddie's voice is quiet again, but his eyes never leave Buck's. "But I didn't tell you the whole truth."

"Okay," Buck says, hoping Eddie would continue, and somehow knowing that he would.

"I remember pain. I remember seeing blood. I remember falling down. I remember blood, on you. I remember thinking you were hurt and how I couldn't move enough to get to you."

There is blood in Buck's mouth, metallic and distinct and Eddie's, and there is a street that is once again a street but was once the setting for the worst day of Buck's life. There is a lazy Wednesday night and Eddie sitting across from him, warm and alive and eyes on Buck.

There used to be days when Buck couldn't separate the two.

"I remember Christopher. I remember thinking I won't watch him grow up."

Buck doesn't jump when Eddie's hand comes to rest on his own, but he does realize that he's shaking a little. Eddie's hand on his reminds him of Taylor's when she's held them that day outside the hospital, though Eddie's feels much less temporal, much more like belonging.

"I remember you. I remember watching you. I remember how still you were, how scared I was."

"I was so scared," Buck says, and he turns his hand so he's gripping Eddie's tightly.

"I remember you saying you were okay, and I remember how I let go then. I remember thinking I'd never see you again."

There are tears on Buck's face that should've fallen that day on that street. Eddie stays still next to him, his hand so, so warm and alive. Buck rests his forefinger on his wrist and feels his beating pulse. Alive. Awake. Alive. Since his own experience with death, Buck thinks he understands the distinction between those a little more.

"What do you think would've happened if we'd spoken about this then?" Eddie asks unexpectedly amidst another descent into silence during which Buck's face feels less wet. It's the first time all evening Eddie sounds anything less than sure.

"Then?" Buck echoes. "You mean after you woke up?"

Eddie shrugs. "Maybe. Or after we got home."

"At your party?" Buck asks, and he can't help the note of amusement in his voice. "In front of Ana and Taylor?"

Eddie laughs. "I guess that might have been weird." He sobers up a little as they descend into silence. Buck wonders if Eddie would move his hand any time now. He wishes he wouldn't.

"I've been thinking about the what-ifs, ever since you came back to us," Eddie says. "Maybe we would've been different if we'd only spoken about it then."

"Then you didn't get the story right," Buck says quietly, and for all the times they have come close to this in the face of almost certain death, it's almost impossible that they're here now, sitting on Buck's balcony and sipping beers like they have a thousand times before.

"Yeah?" Eddie asks slowly.

"The story isn't about the what-ifs. It's about being here in this life. It's about acceptance. And forgiveness. So I don't think you should think about the what-ifs. You should think about the present and what you do have now."

Eddie could take the out. Eddie could lighten the moment and use Buck's self-help book spiel to goad him lightheartedly. Buck would laugh then, casually move his hand away from Eddie's and bully him into bringing Buck another beer. They've played this game before. Buck has it down to a science.

"Okay," Buck hears Eddie say. His heart soars. "Okay, you're right."

"Okay," he echoes. Eddie squeezes his hand and doesn't let go, and for all of Buck's advice, he sees down a never-ending array of nights just like this, just the two of them here like this, day after day, month after month, year after year. It doesn't feel quite like a what-if. It feels like a future, and Buck thinks that Eddie just told him that they should have it.

They talk into the night, and Eddie doesn't go. Buck does bully him into bringing him more beer and Eddie doesn't go, instead dragging Buck in to the kitchen with him, eyes dark and warm. Buck laughs and cries into the night, and Eddie does it with him. Eddie stays.

They pick up Christopher from the Wilson's the next day. Buck follows Eddie and Christopher home, and this time, he goes home for good.

#buddie #911fic #6x12 fic #911 spoilers i guess?

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