#because that has absolutely happened

[rxttenfish]

honestly every insect or especially ANT metaphor when it comes to unknowable cosmic entities and humanity turns absurdly funny the second you know anything about insects.

like ah yes. pitiful meaningless humans in the face of cosmic terror. who nonetheless are the reason everything is the way that it is to eldritch entities and the reason to which they owe their existence, who nonetheless are some of the most irrationally feared animals to exist in contrast to their actual physical abilities, who have shaped the course of history and who will shape it evermore. animals which very suggestions to their form sends eldritch deities into a panic and utmost horror, despite how common it is, how widespread, how beloved the design is by creation.

and to add in the ant metaphor like these people have NEVER stepped in an anthill. like ants arent some of the most feared animals by every other animal in the world, like dedicated ant-eaters arent actually rather rare, like plants, even greater deciders of the shape of this world, havent befriended and built great homes for ants for the purpose of deterring every other animal which might bother them.

you know.

those insects. those ants. meaningless. helpless. worthless.

#all the care guide says is 'biomass' #yes this is why i have such a hate love relationship with cosmic horror #fucking. the other day i saw a comparison of like #''oh a construction crew wouldnt stop building a house because a colony of ants asked them to stop'' #and im just #sir you have a very limited experience of ants #because that has absolutely happened #hell this isnt even getting into shit like bullet ants im just thinking about the common species you find #a fire ant would humble a god #likewise: termites. who do not cut nearly as terrifying a profile and yet nonetheless your monuments mean nothing to

[hailsatanacab]

A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc

"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."

"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.

"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.

"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"

"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.

"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."

"This is where I live."

"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"

"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"

"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."

"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."

"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."

"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"

"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"

"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"

"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"

"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"

"Please, call me Bruce."

"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."

Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.

"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."

#dpxdc #batpham #i forget - can we tag the parent fandoms? w/e #immediately alfred's like: while i do appreciate your initiative may i suggest it wait until after dinner? #and danny - who has barely eaten proper homecooked food ever - takes one bite and then absolutely wolfs down the whole lot #after he's finished he's like 'bear with - I've got to add that to the 'Reasons I Would Like to Live Here' section' #danny's powerpoint has tailored sections for each batfam member with lists of reasons why they'd get along #my au thoughts on this is that the fentons disowned danny when he told them he was phantom #and that this is after the ultimate enemy - wherein which he allied himself with the JL to fight against dan #(which didnt really work at all - BUT he knows some of their identities now INCLUDING batman's) #so one of the main reasons why he'd be a great fit is that he knows their vigilante status anyway so they don’t need to worry about secrets #dick just turns to tim like 'he’s your friend. he learnt this from you.' #tim: 'i didn't tell him our identities!! i would never!!' #dick: 'no i know that. it's the stalker tendancies. it's baby tim all over again' #tim: scandalised gasp #they all eat dinner in silence just super subdued and in shock and sending glances to bruce and danny #duke like: 'so i know I'm the last one in the family but like... this isn't how it normally happens right? did any of you make powerpoints? #tim gets all shifty because he absolutely did make a powerpoint he just never actually showed it to anyone #everyone stares at tim because they all know. it was in one of bab's blackmail files she has on him #damian's slide has danny offering to throw down at any time. 'tim says you like to prove yourself with your skills? #how about a real challenge? if i beat you then you have to vote yes to adopting me!' #damian is in two minds about accepting because... 1) look at him damian could take danny in his sleep! but #2) on the off chance that he does win... damian does not want any more brothers #(he takes the bet and its a suprisingly fun fight - and while he'll never say this... he would vote yes even without the wager) #on one of danny's slides there's a picture of ellie: you'll also get my clone sister! two children for the price of one!! #uhhh.... thats it now - I've been having fun with this haha #spent all day with the 'ive lured you here under false pretences' 'danny i live here' line in my head haha #anyway enjoy!!!!!! this was fun #i wanna make these slides so bad

[thedreadvampy]

Losing my shit about this article in which a transphobic Tory was so busy panicking about existing in the vicinity of a Trans that she almost certainly misheard "jeans" as "penis" and decided that not only was this a problem with the other woman, but also that the world must be informed of this pressing danger.

"a trans woman! I had to stand directly behind her....I thought, 'this is going well', I'm handling The Situation fine'..."

translated: I saw a tall woman with broad shoulders. How would I get out of this alive? I thought. she has a PENIS. PENIS PENIS PENIS. through some force of PENIS I mean will I managed to PENIS behave normally towards her. My hands were PENIS PENIS PENIS shaking as I tried to dry them. summoning up all my PENIS courage I said 'dryer's crap innit'. she turned to me and said " yeah I'm just goiPENIS PENIS PENIS"

It's been a week and I'm still shaking. This proves trans women are the problem and I'm not weird. I'm fine. It's fine. If you think about it I'm the hero hePENIS!!!!!

very this

#red said #it's just. I'm obsessed. #everyone on Twitter is saying 'never happened' and i think they're wrong #this absolutely did happen and she's been obsessing over how vindicated it made her feel enough to WRITE AN ARTICLE ABOUT IT #because she MISHEARD SOMEONE IN A CASUAL CONVERSATION #i lay out my reasoning thusly: if you were INVENTING a scary trans woman in bathroom story out of nothing. why would it be this? #why would you go with 'we had a banal conversation until she said a sentence that makes no sense and that no human has ever uttered #but which does coincidentally sounds almost exactly like a mishearing of a very NORMAL thing to say in the circumstances #then she left and nothing else occurred' #if you were going to INVENT a story you would probably make it MAKE SENSE or SOUND THREATENING #i truly believe this is a very authentically told account of what she thinks happened #because who would. by means other than mishearing. think 'I'm going to wipe my hands on my penis' makes any sense at all. #a) 'I'm going to dry my hands on my genitals' says the presumably fully clothed woman #b) who then proceeds to leave without doing anything threatening #c) WHO SAYS PENIS THREATENINGLY? sorry it's writing out 'penis' repeatedly that made this jump out to me but like. who says that? #you might hear someone talk casually about their dick or cock but i stg it's only doctors and TERFs who casually use the word penis much #it's so. clinically descriptive. it's a weird use of language. but it IS. something you could plausibly mishear from 'pants' or 'trousers'

[swan2swan]

And THERE IT IS.

If you wanna no the BIGGEST problem with Zionism, religious appropriation, and the whole genocide thing going on over there?

You know...besides the loss of life.

But also...unfortunately...maybe not?

Watching an episode of Moon Girl. And a character is celebrating her Bat Mitzvah!

And you know what they used as symbols?

THE STAR OF DAVID!

Yes! A delightful, iconic emblem of the Jewish religion. Immediately recognizable. Associated with a proud culture!

Oh, but wait...how's it being used nowadays? I saw two Stars of David in the past five minutes thanks to this episode...guess how I was seeing the symbol the other twenty times today?

So, yeah. This is why when someone puts a religious symbol on a flag, you tell them not to do that.

#this is also absolutely the first time in history this has happened #but no I shouldn't be upset because an episode celebrating the Jewish people and their traditions #is HITTING THE MENTAL RED FLAG IN MY MIND #ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #UGH #what a good episode this seems to be though #....ALSO THOUGH ALL THE COLORS ARE WHITE AND BLUE #like...I should not be worried about this #but nooooooooooooooo #some people have to BOMB THINGS #and here are casey's dads #nicely in the forefront #what a good show

[lgbtlunaverse]

Most annoying NMJ or JC take is when someone that dislikes them is like "oh you're a fan of him? *scoff* Well obviously you've only seen cql, where he was super watered down. In the novel he's a dislikable asshole and that's the objectively superior canon I'm working from instead of your woobified fanfic." Meanwhile your main canon is novel canon and you genuinely find novel Jiang Cheng and Nie Mingjue complex sympathetic characters.

#complaining and whining about fandom #mdzs #cql #the untamed #nie mingjue #jiang cheng #WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO THEM #it's quite funny because in nmj's case i actually see shit from cql being carried over to novel canon to hate on him #for example my's treatment under the nie was explicitly much worse in cql because they transplanted the langya captain to qinghe #while the worst we see post-promotion in the novel is cultivators (WHO AREN'T EVEN NIE!) wiping ther teacups #(they're visiting from other clans like xichen. That's also why none of them had seen meng yao before.) #you can absolutely choose to interpret that worse things were happening to him at the hands of the nie off-page #it's definitely possible! but cql has people acting like it's objective canon #also the thing about empathy being inaccurate and biased in nmj's favor #that's another cql thing. in novel canon wwx can and does see things nmj does not notice (like the teacups!) #so even if he has some insight into nmj's thoughts and feelings it quite literally can't be showing things exclusively from his perspective #it was a pretty cool ceative decision from cql! gave us some very interesting character moments! #but sometimes i see people discuss the novel going 'and this was warped by nmj's bias i bet he was even worse in reality' girl wrong medium #in jiang cheng's case a lot of hate seems to be coming from the corner of cql!mains too #so clearly it can't be *that* big a difference in likability

[shirecorn]

WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP PRACTICING POOR INTERNET SAFETY AROUND ME

I don't want to know a teenager's age and state. I don't want to see your shirtless 6 year old daughter. I don't want to see kids selfies.

AND I DON'T WANT TO KNOW YOUR TRIGGERS, TRAUMAS, AND ILLNESSES.

stop stop stop stop stop JUST STOPIT

This isn't stuff I've stumbled on this is all shit that has been sent directly to me, unprompted, by people I'm friendly toward but don't consider friends. They don't know anything about me except that i am AN ADULT MAN

I CLAIM to be nice. I SAY I work at a cat shelter (what's more trustworthy than that?) but nobody verifies any of this!! They don't know my name, they can't look me up in a registry. I could be lying about all of it!

If you wouldn't show it to a known predator, please for the love of god don't show it to an unknown stranger. I am!!! A stranger!!

Even if you are friends with someone and you know about their work, school, personal life, family situation, friends, health, orientation, etc etc. If you haven't verified that ALWAYS CONSIDER IT MIGHT BE LIES. A predator could pretend to be a teenage girl and tell you about their day at school and the teacher that annoys them and it could be ALL LIES

What freaks me out is that I present myself exactly as I am. I am an adult man. And people still send me this. WHY ARE YOU SENDING THIS TO SOMEONE ON THE INTERNET. I'm ok knowing you as Tigerhawk17 I don't need to know your name and face and age and location please please please

DID YOU ASK YOUR SIX YEAR OLD IF YOU COULD SEND SHIRTLESS PICTURES OF HER TO A MAN ON THE INTERNET?

DOES SHE UNDERSTAND HOW BAD THAT IS???

#internet safety #WHAT ABOUT ME MAKES ME SEEM HARMLESS #whatever it is could be a lie #is it just me or does this happen to everyone these days #DID YOU ASK YOUR SIX YEAR OLD IF YOU COULD SEND SHIRTLESS PICTURES OF HER TO A MAN ON THE INTERNET #BASED ON THE FACT YOU THINK THIS IS OK #I WOULD GUESS SHE HAS ABSOLUTELY NO EDUCATION TO ANSWER THIS #BECAUSE NEITHER OF YOU UNDERSTAND THE POSSIBLE CONSEQUENCES

[aenslem]

Then employ one of your own superstitions. Wish me luck.

#star trek #trekedit #startrekedit #tos #tosedit #tvedit #sd* #mine* #spones #sponesedit #leonard mccoy #leonard nimoy #bones #spock #deforest kelley #star trek tos #treksource #startrekgifs #are you okay? because i am not #this hurts me so much #absolutely love this pain but my god #whyyyy #he did not tell him. spock just goes on a sui*cide mission and asks bones to wish him luck #and bones does it when spock is not there anymore #have you seen the way spock leaves??? look me in the eyes and tell me he has no feelings #it's not int he gifset cos it would be too long and i already giffed entire scene like 4 y ago #but it;s just so... they are just so - im going insane here #imagine what's happening in spock's mind... and heart . he asked him SPOCK ASKED HIM and bones does it when spock cannot hear him #dammit bones aaaaaaaaaaaaaa tattoo this scene on me i love it

[front-facing-pokemon]

#galarian slowpoke #picture this. this was the first pokémon revealed from the new DLCs for pokémon sword and shield. the pokémon company #up until this point‚ has never done DLC for a pokémon game before. you‚ having been jaded by shitty DLCs for other games in the past #now have a distaste for the phrase‚ and imagine this can't be good. then‚ in their teaser for the new DLC‚ they add a little event #into the game where they reveal one of the new pokémon that is going to be added in the DLC #and it is a galarian form. that is identical to the original pokémon. but with a yellow head #are you imagining it. now how fucking disappointed are you. how little faith do you have in that DLC that it's going to be as good as it wa #for the most part‚ the pokémon company has demonstrated that they do absolutely excellent DLCs. proper expansions #basically an entire other game on top of the game you already have. and they typically take up the release cycle of a full game #scarlet/violet's especially. WONDERFUL dlc. i never really properly finished the crown tundra just because i was so late to the party #because i avoided buying the dlc for so long because of this experience that i've just described to you #that by the time i bought it and played it‚ it was just because SV had been announced and i wanted more pokémon to tide me over #and i never finished it. one of these days‚ i'd like to go back and finish it‚ but i'm playing through pokémon xd gale of darkness right no #and i prefer to play. one game at a time. and i don't know when i'll ever really get back to it #or if i'll ever get back to it! 'cause without resetting my save file all the way i'll just have to Remember what it is that already happen #which i'm. notoriously bad at when it comes to coming back to games that i haven't played in a while #plus i know sv is like shitty performance or whatever but the movement in that game is so much better #it feels so much more freeing than going back to gen 8 where you can still just. run. and that's it #i know nobody likes scarlet/violet but i still. like it. performance aside. like yes the performance is terrible but i still had a great #time with it. i just praised its DLC for fuck's sake! its DLC was fuckin wonderful! it has kieran in it so it like can't be bad

[tehcann]

[cutely plunges an entire planet to the brink of extinction with their gigachad bacterium :3c]

#subnautica below zero #subnautica below zero spoilers #(because of the caption 😭😭😭) #al-an #al-an aubnautica #subnautica al-an #bro probably hears most of the unhinged sentences from Robin and has absolutely none of the context to find out what it means #“Robin. I sense your enthusiam but what does 'whip and nae nae' mean in the context of the Kharaa bacterium???” #oh my god drawing their robo-arms was the worst thing thats ever happened to me since 2005 #tehcart

[astronomodome]

Feeling conflicted about the cyberpunk thingy impulse is going for because like yeah it’s a great theme and I like the aesthetics a lot but what I really like most about cyberpunk is the themes of corporate alienation and/or transhumanism etc etc which I know will not be addressed at all and in fact it’s kind of stupid of me to expect that at all from a minecraft series. Does anyone else get that or just me

#this is an issue I’ve been having with mcyt content in general you know. not ragging on impulse specifically #it’s just… I find it difficult to reconcile the quality of narrative focused mcyt content with its complete lack of commentary #should it have commentary? I believe it could if it wanted to. I don’t think it has to #but then you see these genres being… skinned and worn as cloaks #taking the aesthetics and story without any of the meaning behind it #and when it was just Minecraft builds that was expected. I guess it is still expected and I’m being a huge snob #but like. mcyt narrative is so fucked from a quality standpoint. you can’t even have villains who are other mcyters because people #will get mad at them #is that an unrelated issue? maybe. but I don’t think so #idk. mcyters aren’t expected to be storytellers and they don’t need to be #but I see these things happen over and over again and it’s just uncanny to see something that walks like a story talks like a story #but at the same time has absolutely nothing of value to say #it’s very early on so maybe there will be something done with this concept but I doubbbt it. I would be very pleasantly surprised #astro speaks #hermitcraft #not putting this in the impulse tag cause he would be more likely to see it #and I don’t want him to feel like he has to address this at all #it’s more just me noticing a trend

[yashley]

marisha said laura I see your GET THE GIRL motivation and I raise you KEEP THE GIRL

#cr lb #4 sided dive #marisha thinking she can pull a vax style doomed romance #as if she forgot vex undemoned perc and jester helped fjord with his squid #laudna I Know Doomed vs imogen Not With Me #I absolutely love the conviction of a cataclysmic belief like it's juicy because it does remind me of vax's conviction #though one is obviously rooted in insecurity but really you can't. Make someone get over that #so it would be like really interesting if this is actually going to be an ongoing conflict #because like laudna finding imogen and imogen falling for her and that love and comfort happening #and laudna Still believes she's such a dead end for Sure definitely maybe you get over it maybe you Don't #so it's like Something drastic has to happen for that to change either side and something would Have to

[s4ndg3m]

ohhh yeah loving this guy

#labyposting #this sucker would be completely incapable of making eye contact #freaking out when it happens accidentally #would have to be EXTREMELY close with someone to be comfortable with it. #he's the best and most willing technician the elevator has (employed by the same group as mach parhaps???) so his social skills are #overlooked easily enough by his bosses. #interactions-wise #he'd probably flip between collected and jittery on a dime #not paranoid like bive. but just veerryyy nervous. SUSPICIOUSLY nervous. #but before you could ask he's collected again. #i say collected because he's absolutely never calm. but he can act like it! #labyart #my art #regretevator #regretevator roblox #roblox regretevator #regretevator fanart #regretevator art #roblox #roblox art #roblox fanart #fanart #art #regretevator oc #oc art #oc #sparknician

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

oh today was a TREAT! makeship drop + howdy ad, no work tomorrow, got free cake, new 911 season.. Yeehaw...

#I CANT WAIT TO SHEAR OFF THE BACK OF MY FLOOF #now that i wear a hair net... fuck it. BYE #the mullet era was good.... #AND IT WILL RETURN. EVENTUALLY. MARK MY WORDS #BURY IT SHALLOW BECAUSE IT WILL BE BACK! #anyway i cant wait for my makeship stuff to arrive #i was Literally the other day researching how to make enamel pins so that i could make my own barnaby pin #yk with my own art ofc #AND THEN THIS HAPPENS? OH HAWYEE! #barnaby!!! on my Vest!!! holy shit! #i love enamel pins i love them so much #absolutely unprompted #gonna have some cake & gaze at my purchase confirmation email & enjoy this Brief Freedom #pros of working in a kitchen: so much free food #cons: i am actively losing my whimsical will #OHHHH I CANT WAIT TO WATCH THE NEW 911 SEASON THO #THEYRE BACK!!! THEYRE FINALLY BACK! #AND I SENSE THAT ABC HAS LET THE WRITERS/ACTORS OFF THEIR LEASH! #i still wanna finish my rewatch but babey if im good at anything its Bingeing #we are feelin Good tonight... might even have the energy to create something.. #doodles perhaps... there is a certain wiggle i wanna scribble...

[moonchild-in-blue]

Random thought I had last night. Genuinely think they're both equally outlandish - which is just ridiculous in itself if you think about it.

#ngl i think him wearing a shirt might be the most shocking thing he could do #lifting weights? shoving his tongue on the homies' throats? absolutely normal 👍 #a SHIRT?? a piece of garment covering his chest and tummy???? actual normal clothing???? no. absolutely not #but also. imagine he just says “hello” OMG i would flip #i'm not counting that small “thank you” on Wembley because those were exceptional circumstances #i mean a regular ritual were nothing bad happens. and he just decides to be verbal for once and go :::) hello 👋 #dew yew loike that? fancy seein' you 'ere #i don't know why i'm giving him a cockney accent. i know he talks more southern and posh but that's just funny #IF he did talk with us. do you think he'd be all “i have throughly enjoyed this ritual. we shall gather once more in this land with haste” #or he'd go full “yo yeah that's chill dawg” #be all “would you look at iii that wanker. that's my mate right there” #lmao idk what i'm saying. if this has a million typos IGNORE IT cus i'm writing this before bed and queuing for the morning #sleep token

[rosefires20]

No one knows just how happy I am Niki and Tubbo joined the QSMP and the characters they have already started to take on.

Phil being gone this week has really given them a chance to prove themselves and their role as Chayanne and Tallulahs godparents. Nikis been very busy lately but Tubbos been on almost every single day since he joined.

Tallulah and Chayanne are two of the most closed off eggs in terms of how often they just hang out on the server. Usually, they log on, do quests with Phil, chill for a bit, and then go back to sleep with occasional times of hanging out with other QSMP members.

Q!Tubbo, since he's been on the most, has allowed for the most Chayanne and Tallulah content outside of Phil doing their quests. Tubbos already given all the eggs blankets permission to just show up and hang out which Tallulah and Chayanne have taken up quite a bit.

I absolutely adore how q!Tubbo treats the eggs. He cares for them so much even though he can't completely protect them and isn't their direct parent. He is instantly trying to include them in his projects when they show up and always chatting with them which is really cool. It's an interesting dynamic to see since everyone's had an egg of their own since just about the start.

Q!Tubbo has similar mannerisms to both q!Wilbur and q!Phil since they are close friends and deemed family by q!Phil. He treats Tallulah and Chayanne very similarly to how q!Wilbur and q!Phil treat them which is something I think both of them needed from a non-parent individual. They both been dealing with the absence of a father this whole time so I'm sure new faces are refreshing to see. There's no expectations or previous understandings that the other islanders have about them.

Q!Tubbo has made sure to take care of them so well. He always pauses to make sure their tasks are done and that they are doing something they want to do or help with. Q!Tubbo also uses nicknames a lot which I love. He calls Chayanne, Chay. Tallulah, sweetie and both of them poultry queen/king/prince which is adorable.

I really want to know Tallulah and Chayannes thoughts on q!Tubbo since they've spoken about how they don't feel the most comfortable being openly themselves around the other QSMP islanders. Tallulah hasn't completely opened up to q!Tubbo and started sassing him like she does q!Phil but I'm sure it's refreshing to have someone new like q!Tubbo focus his attention on her and her brother when they around, making sure they read all the signs, and keep track of them all the time.

It's just such a refreshing dynamic to see for two characters that have been going through it so much lately.

I also just love q!Tubbo in general because he fits right in. He's constantly involving everyone if they want to join. He's also someone who is challenging the Federation constantly in a way not everyone else can because they have the eggs. He's abosultely on Cucuruchos shit list for his shenanigans and he's already started poking holes in the story that the Federation has laid out.

#i only come here to ramble about qsmp these days because other apps have a small word limit lmao #i love it a lot if you cant tell #qsmp #qsmp ramble #qsmp rambles #qsmp eggs #tallulah #qsmp tallulah #chayanne #qsmp chayanne #qsmp tubbo #tubbo #chayanne and tallulah are my favorite eggs so having niki and tubbo around has been nice #both niki and tubbo have the advantage of being close friends with phil and wilbur as well as being new #im excited for the future and what ends up happening because i absolutely love right now

[inkykeiji]

okay but you can't tell me daddy dazai isn't GREAT at aftercare. he can take you apart and put you back together again and he loves to spoil and coddle you too. <3

with you, yes, absolutely 100%!!!! he would be the fucking sweetest and he’d already have multiple potential care plans in place before you even begin the scene, each tailored to a specific outcome—the ways he thinks you’re most likely to react by the time the scene is over, with a few of them branching out into sub-plans based on what turns the scene may take as it develops. each aftercare plan is attuned to what he knows your specific set of needs will be by the end of him fucking you into the prettiest shattered shards of yourself. if the session ends up being purely psychological torture then you can bet your ass he’s got a whole novels-worth of words of affirmation written on the walls of his skull, just waiting to be spoken to you. if the session is more physical in nature then he’s prepared with your favourite nutritious snack + a bottle of water + first aid materials. if it’s any combination of both he’s prepared with whatever percentage of each he believes must be met; various aftercare blends each customized to that particular result.

afterwards, after he’s sure your initial, instinctive and most immediate needs have been throughly dealt with and resolved, it’s whatever you further need—your favourite comfort film, or cozy cuddles beneath fluffy blankets with him and your most cherished stuffy, or tender kisses scattered across your marred skin and mangled limbs, gentle lips so healing, so loving as they skim across your body, each stamp of them against your flesh leaving a soft, small blossom of warmth in its wake; whatever it is, whatever you want, he is more than ready and willing to give it.

i genuinely believe that like, 97% of the time this man is fucking brutal and sincerely, severely sadistic in the bedroom; loves teasing you to the point of tears and then far beyond that, staining his name into your skin through deep indents beneath all 32 of his teeth and splats of broken blood vessels beneath his fingertips, can be downright fucking cruel when he wants to be, when the mood strikes him (and takes genuine delight and pleasure in it all)—and as such, being a god at aftercare is a must, when it concerns you, anyway.

with akutagawa tho?????? eeeeeee probably not

#listen i just think akutagawa brings out the absolute worst in him #just this extremely sadistic extremely power starved side of himself #that he can get under control if he *wants* to but he doesn’t really want to #because with aku he doesn’t HAVE to #because with aku he can let that side of himself completely loose and know he won’t lose his sub #because no matter what happens akutagawa will come crawling back with tears in his eyes and pleads on his tongue for dazai’s favour and prai #praise #this has been sitting in my drafts since april tenth anon i am SO sorry #it got lost >.< #but here u go!!! <3 #dazai x reader #dazai osamu x reader #dazai smut #inky.dazai #have a wonderful saturday anon bb!!! #stay safe and don’t forget to hydrate!!! #inky.bb #clari gets mail