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#because she is so hot wow
doing-swell · 3 months
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It was last June - a one night stand with your coworker at the summer holiday kickoff happy hour. When he came inside of you, you thought your birth control would handle it. Then two weeks later you realized your boobs were spilling out of your bra… and your lower belly started getting firmer. As you looked in the mirror and turned to the side, you noticed a curve and gasped. How were you already so pregnant?
You were so embarrassed, you had to switch to remote work. You couldn’t handle facing your coworker again. Until one day, your boss told you that you needed to come in for a necessary in-person meeting. “Fuck,” you thought.
Well, it turns out the guy who did this to you also needed to be at this meeting. His eyes went wide as you went into the room, only 5 months and looking like you’re about to give birth at any point. Noticeably out of breath. You make eye contact and instantly know that June wouldn’t be the last time he fucks you.
It also turns out triplets run in his family.
Later that night, he was happy to find out you were even hotter with a giant belly filled with his babies. He can’t wait to fuck you for these next four months, until you can’t even get out of bed. Just lay there and grow for daddy. Good girl 😇
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yourthirdparent · 2 years
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literally love when jason is just so oblivious. everyone's like i need to be with him and jason's like wow everyone is so nice to me i love having friends. bitches are like grabbing his arms and being like wow you're so muscular haha and he's like yeah do you wanna know how to bulk up i think it works well if you wanna get jacked. bitches are like you're so hot haha and jason's like not really i think i'm actually a pretty average temperature and they're like no you're attractive and he's like oh yeah i'm p much an electromagnet. he has no clue
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musubiki · 8 months
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once again thinking about limes very quick descent into madness surrounding the time when he realizes he might like mochi after the first night he spends cuddling with her. always love the slow start of "Okay she's kinda cute I guess. She has cute tendencies sometimes. There, you happy? I admitted it. Now leave me alone." which in the span of about 3 days RAPIDLY spills into being unable to think about anything else to the point he can barely hold a conversation with anyone because his mind keeps daydreaming back to holding her in his arms. All day feeling like "I can still feel her warmth on me..." and has to keep being snapped back to reality by everyone around him
he can barely even talk to mochi because he keeps thinking about it. has no idea what to say to her the next day. is very quiet. and mochi thinks hes mad/uncomfortable with her now, since hes always so standoffish to girls at school she thinks she might be in that category now. so the next night while lime is about to go to bed, STILL THINKING ABOUT IT, and he gets a text from her that reads something like: [Hey lime!! about last night- sorry i fell asleep on you!! i know your not super comfortable with that stuff!! it wont happen again!! 🙇‍♀️ see you tomorrow!] and he feels his heart drop to his fucking stomach. lays there reading it back over and over with his thoughts a mix of "Yeah I guess that makes sense, it happened by accident. It was never gonna be a repetitive thing." vs "Won't happen again...? Like....ever? Are you fucking kidding me? I never get that ever again?"
eventually after an hour of tossing and turning, thinks up some bullshit excuse to sneak over to her house and climb up over her little bedroom balcony, knocks on her window and says something like "Hey uhhh you forgot one of your socks over at my place so I brought it back." or something that is absolutely stupid and could've definitely waited for the next day. manages to weasel his way into crawling into her bed with her because every bone in his body is telling him to.
huheuheu love to see lime aching for her eheheh
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moeblob · 3 months
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There was a post I saw about someone who mutually ghosted a guy after a date and kept matching with him and they're not interested but it's the longest "relationship" the person had been in at that point and I'm like. Karen would mutually ghost someone.
She doesn't really tell Brent/Right/Evelyn/Chris his name (he has a double first name, Patrick is not his last name) and just refers to him as "My Guy". Like "Ah damn, My Guy matched again. End my suffering." And when she tries to explain it to Right who does NOT understand how it's different, her logical answer is "it's my God given right to ghost a polite man!"
Also I just imagine her confiding in Paul about Rick and he's like "is his name Patrick" and she's like "kinda". And after that, Paul calls him "Pattycakes" cause he's never even seen the guy so why not give him a funny little nickname. He's allowed to do so at this point probably.
#my characters#also i just think it would be so funny to have him walk into the bar when karen and the boys are all there#and she sees him and is like OH MY GOD ITS MY GUY AND HE HAS A WOMAN WITH HIM I have to go congratulate him#and she jumps out of the booth to go say hi to him and the rest of her group is staring with wide eyes because whomst#and then her shoulders drop and the guy looks nervous and then karen is just gesturing to her group#and she walks him over and is like hey this is my guy and his cousin i hate my life#and then introduces rick to her friends/coworkers in the worst way ever like.... so lackluster#thats right and hes gay and pining and possibly dating#thats brent and hes pining and possibly dating#thats chris and he might have a divorce on his track record (HEY!) but we still love him#and thats paul the disaster bisexual currently pining#she sighs then points to the bar and goes AND I GUESS ILL INCLUDE the pining hot bartender in the introductions#everyone meet rick and his cousin and rick is like oh ! paul! hes your best friend!#cause he KNOWS that name from their ONE DATE that they both pretend didn't happen#and paul is just sunshine and flowers and beaming like oh ?? OH ??? KAREN? BESTIE? MY BEST FRIEND?#and she blushes and glares at rick because DOES THAT LOOK LIKE A FACE THAT CAN HANDLE COMPLIMENTS YOU JERK look what you did to him#and rick is v sorry and feels bad about it cause hes really just some random polite guy and thats why it would never work#hes too nice for karen and she CRAVES the teasing THE BANTER THE LANGUAGE and no hes just nice bye#so he leaves with his cousin to get some drinks and walks back over after hes done#and stares at paul as he says wow the bartender really is pining like you said in response to karen and paul wants to melt into his seat#therefore karen will forgive her guy for telling paul he was her best friend (its true tho) bc he made paul embarrassed#and he smiles at her and says bye and she just nods and is like yup talk to you next time we match#and its never romantic its always platonic#they are always going to match but its NEVER going to go beyond friends#though they do become friends and hang out eventually!#yes you can tell i thought about this A LOT on the drive#oops i fell in love
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sexynetra · 7 months
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Olivia Lux is collecting selfies with my favorite queens tonight like they’re fucking infinity stones
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possumteeths · 2 months
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I like fall out boy and patd as much as anyone else but theres a ~vibe~ to ppl who are still like batshit insane abt these groups who go out of their way to be like “im a cool adult i used to be emo” that i cant put my finger on
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fellhellion · 10 months
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Tbh Dana kind of reminds me of Daisy from the great gatsby, If that makes any sense?? I just get strong vibes of immaturity and not really understanding/not caring about the consequences of what she does from her at times.
okay i apologise in forward but you've reawakened my daisy enjoyer status from highschool fjdhsjkfhdskj i see the comparison and agree that there's some similarities especially when it comes to the waif like immaturity, but I have personally always read Daisy in actuality as someone who, for all that she sincerely grieves what she lost with Gatsby, knows that ultimately that despite any unhappiness with Tom, she was never going to abandon the place she's accepted.
To me that's always what her little line about her daughter ("I hope she'll be a fool—that's the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool.") was about. It doesn't matter how hard Daisy cries over Gatsby's shirts, how conflicted she feels, how much she still cares for him, ultimately she's accepted her place within the world and ultimately she wasn't ever going to abandon that.
There's a level of immaturity - as well as heartache - in never really communicating this to Gatsby (though considering he's wooing a visage of a woman long changed and with a version of himself that is itself constructed, who even knows how successful she would've been), but I interpret Daisy's choice as hinging upon the fact she intimately understood the ultimate consequence of her actions, of abandoning her husband.
Dana on the other hand seems utterly unable/unwilling to interogate the nature of her own actions for what they are. She sincerely seems to believe she dislikes active conflict, and this extends into lying to herself about just how far she goes to hurt Miguel over slights (hanging out with the guy that Miguel confided in her drugged him with an incurable addiction, purely because she's upset he hasn't been home enough). Dana seems to me more like someone who follows the whim of her own desires/impulses without consideration for the harm she stands to inflict upon on others. The way she speaks in the aftermath of cheating conversation to Gabriel is also just. bizarrely self-centered when it doesn't verge on martyrdom (I hate conflict, I just want people to be happy, hate me FOREVER if you need to but don't throw away your relationship with miguel).
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dirt-str1der · 1 year
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I dont get why in some kazumaji fics people make majima the jealous boyfriend when he seems quite eager (maybe not eager but willing) to matchmake his love interests with other people. Jealous boyfriends would be people like mine or yuya who is like a rabid animal when people look at daigo or kazuki respectively
#Yakuza loveblog#see if daigo went out with a girl mine would be like Shes not good enough for you sir plus i ran a background check on her and heres the#dirt i dug up. any would be an apropriate reason to break up with her#if kiryu was seeing a girl majima would be like OOHHHH GOOD CHOICE SHES REALLY HOT I BET YOU GUYS HAVE SEX EVERY NIGHT while kiryu is#literally in the middle of having sex with him. sorry i keep saying having sex its a very apt phrase to use when two people are fucking#i see a shiba inu wow this is just like yakuza#majima is not a jealous boyfriend because hes convinced that hes a troublesome person#he only trusts saejima to deal with that because they signed up for this troublesome life together and by god they will exit it together#ill fuck you until youre satisfied so you wont get homesick#majima likes kiryu a lot but not enough to impose that much on him in That Way its simply better if kiryu doesnt care about him#i like them a lot because its like both of them are kind of pining but also they think the other doesnt like them THAT much so im not going#to make things awkward by cementing their relationship. they dont want to be clingy because also thatll be embarrassing#like kiryu doesnt bother to ask because he knows(?) majima will laugh at him and call him childish like damn man up#majima knows(?) that kiryu simply isnt That into him but the poor sap might be too nice and shackle himself into an arrangement with him#which is the last thing he wants. well not the being in a relationship part. the shackling kiryu part#he thinks kiryu is this beautiful wild horse that wants to roam the better world and kiryu thinks majima is this beautiful wild horse that#cant be satisfied with just him alone
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waddlinglandshark · 4 months
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LOCAL TRANS COUPLE ATTEMPTS TO GO ON A PEACEFUL DATE TO THE MOVIE THEATER, HARRASSED BY POPULAR KIDS FROM SCHOOL
Quote from victim: "you're literally seniors. Why." "I didn't know people acted like that outside of school"
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frightgothcar · 2 years
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looking at him isnt enough i want him to fall asleep on my chest 
#like the kind of sleep where youve been working outside all day and when you come in the door its like stepping into winter and youre too#damn tired to even shower and you get your muddy shoes off and maybe your pants too if youre lucky and just collapse on the bed and its#still too damn hot to cuddle but the fan starts blowing and the surface of your skin is growing icicles and hes kinda wrapped around you and#you can hear his breathing go steady and youre so fucking exausted but a little bit of light is coming through the window just enough so you#can see his face and youre like wow. and the next day when you wake up you get to kiss him on the forehead and massage his sore muscles and#go back out to work except the hard part is over and you just have to clean and at the height of the day you go back inside to rest because#the sun is brutal and you drink iced tea and listen to him talk about something he loves#while laying your head down on the table like its fourth grade and you just stayed up late for the first time and you go out in the evening#just to wrap things up and its still warm but not hot and the insects and frogs are singing and the air smells fresh and alive and you#watch him play with his cat who isnt allowed outside usually but shes on a little expadition and its just so adorable and once the mosquitos#start biting you go inside and shower and spend the evening in bed talking about your plans and what youll do next and its just a lovely m#moment#maybe you listen to music on a low volume while you fall asleep and you think about how the other night made you just that much more greatfu#for this one and that you have someone with you who wants to do both the literal/metaphorical long days of hard work under the hot sun and#chilling out just enjoying each others company
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01tsubomi · 2 years
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every time chandler friends talks about his “dad” (who the writers have retroactively confirmed is a trans woman) and how horrible his life was with her around he gives an example like “in high school [she’d] come to all of my swim meets dressed as a different hollywood starlet” as if that doesn’t automatically make her the coolest character in the show
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rig-a-rendal · 9 months
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I truly am grateful to Old Man Tumblr for helping me shed that ingrained veneer of irony that comes with having grown up online (tm).
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mushroom-for-art · 1 year
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I should be writing shadow au oops, I'm sorry I am working on it slowly but these guys possessed me I wanted Syn to menace May and them chat about aus my brain is bouncing around XD enjoy! (Syn belongs to @seasidemew)
More multiverse shenanigans
May should've been working. May HAD been working, until the larger mewtwo decided to descend upon her. She could feel the warmth of his chest on her back as he leant over and into her body, arms wrapped around her his tail lightly hitting the floor as he purred quietly.
"Can I help you Syn?" She asked slightly amused by this sudden affection but also it was rather inconvenient.
"Mm…" He hummed softly, "No, I'm just glad you're so small and cuddly here." She sighed softly, feeling him give her a little squeeze like she was some plush teddiursa.
"Which world did you find out about then? Perfect or Poached?" She asked simply already aware of the many vast variations of herself and knowing those were the most recent and the only ones so far that played with her height. His tail stopped lightly thumping.
"What's poached.." She could tell by his tone he didn't know what it was and felt a bit of panic settle in.
"...oh you know..like with eggs…" May deflected keeping her eyes on the very interesting tiles on the floor.
"May. What happens in Poached." Syns arms shifted subtly to more restrain her preventing her from trying to duck or wiggle away but still remaining quite cuddly. She made a bit of a whine bringing a hand to cover her mouth as she mumbled.
"Ikindamaybegetcaughtinadarkball," she mumbles unintelligibly into her palm, his weight leans down more into her making her exhale softly in an oof.
"Careful big fella I can't support your whole weight!"
"Well I can't hear you when you're mumbling so I gotta lean closer," more of his weight presses down and she makes a slightly panicked 'ack' in response to his antics as he simply chuckled.
"Who the hell let you watch lilo and stitch alright give give a bit I can't talk like this," his weight lessens on her back as she sighs exaggeratedly before awkwardly fiddling with her hands.
"I get caught by poachers, caught in a dark ball..hence the name.."
"A, dark ball?" She audibly sucked air through her teeth at his question, hesitating on telling him.
"it's uh..type of pokeball poachers use…Darkness says the technology used is quite impressive actually, has a similar function to a master ball can capture any Pokemon instantly," she felt his weight shift, "hey I'm getting there!"
"You're stalling," His voice was a playful singsong.
"I know I'm stalling!" She emptily shouted back, "it's, not fun to talk about," her voice awkwardly quietened and she felt his weight lessen and heard a soft apology, she sighed, "the dark ball…it can enhance a pokemons original ability bringing it to it's highest possible level augmenting them to be even better than they were originally.."
"Why would that make you bigger?"
"Because I'm, not," she struggled for words, "apparently I have potential and I was meant to be tall and powerful and the dark ball artificial unlocks and forces that version of me into my most powerful state.." She didn't want to talk about the how it did that though. She felt him gently squeezing her body again but more as a hug.
He hung his head down a little besides her eyes screwed tight and she gently put her hand to his head rubbing the side of it comfortingly as he experienced new memories from across the multiverse.
"You're, yea, I see it, you're brutal.." He mumbles a bit as the new memory of the fighting ring enters her head.
"I guess so…guess being forced to max level does that..sorry about knocking you about so much." Memories of a fight began to form in both their heads as the new world grew and they became aware of it.
"Oh it's fine, it's kinda hot actually you're efficient," He chuckles, lifting his head up a bit to smirk at her playfully moving to gently bonk his head against hers to which she made a mock 'ow'.
"How come you hesitate on landing the match ending blow?" He furrows his brows at his memory.
"Because I don't want to hurt another mewtwo, not really, guess seeing your bloody bruised face was enough to get past the dark balls influence. Must have a thing for bloodied up pretty boys. Well gives you enough time to strike and then kick my ass." She laughed softly as he guiltily chuckled.
"Yeah I'm sorry, I really saw an opportunity and took it."
"Hey we were in a fight, i'd rather you won especially with your history." He hums above her gently squeezing her again.
"You, escape all that right? I don't recall seeing you again."
"Yea, I get out.. Thanks for asking, nice to know you care." He chuckled softly.
"I can care a bit!" She laughed a squeal as he squeezed her again, picking her up a bit before putting her down as he sighed softly in guilt, "I, actually learnt about the other one, Perfect was it? I'm, sorry for how I act there..I hear you saying you don't want to fight. I can see you dodging and avoiding fighting back and." He signed again, "all I can think about is how good it'll feel and how loud the audience will cheer when I take down such a big powerful opponent." She felt him squeeze her in guilt and moved her hand again to carefully hold the side of his face.
"Hey..its okay I get it I understand why, maybe I don't understand there at first but here I understand and I've hit you pretty hard and brutally before myself, I can't hold a grudge."
"You always fight like that to protect others or as a last ditch self preservation thing, it's not the same."
"What would've happened had you lost?" He went quiet in thought, turning his head away at the new suggested memories of losing and the fall out of it.
May was quiet as her hand moved once more to hold his face as he pressed into her touch knowing without him having to say that it would've been bad and although he did it for himself there was also a level of survival to it. She felt him purr softly against her hand.
"Feeling better now huh?" He hummed softly against her, "can I get back to work now ya great lug? I can feel something hard and pointy jabbing into me and I hope its that crystal." He howled an abrupt startled laugh at her joke moving instead to scoop her up into his arms ignoring her protesting.
"Oh no I think I'm going to steal you away for myself for a bit actually," He turned his head towards the general direction of the kitchen, "I'm stealing May for a bit, deal with it!" before turning to carry her out the restaurant leaving the owner quite confused.
"You put me down, this is kidnapping!" She couldn't hide the excited giggling in her tone as he carried her away.
"I just figured we should get some privacy if I'm gonna jab you with something hard and pointy." She squeal laughed into her hands as he carried her away kicking her feet in too much energy as his tail wagged behind him chuckling at her joy.
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wewontbesleeping · 11 months
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booked plane tickets to Seattle and my first thought was Hello Seattle by Owl City, who I was obsessed with for a very short period of time around 2008, and it’s just. Amazing what things stick around in that noggin
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They weren't kidding when they said studying filmmaking would ruin change the viewing experience forever. I can't watch anything without a running commentary about lighting and framing and blocking and logistics and whatnot running through my mind. But I also get to appreciate all the little details that I wouldn't have noticed before. And I get to acknowledge things that might seem like an issue on the surface, and then discard them and choose to enjoy what I'm watching anyway. I like having that power.
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How about Flamboyant Man Camilo?
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i don't like him
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