#because i think original context tends to be helpful to know

[grimalkhiindi]

I hate you shipping discourse I hate you unnecessarily aggressive DNI banners I hate you dehumanization of those you disagree with I hate you harassment over ships or favorite characters I hate you purposeful lack of nuance I hate you false equivalencies I hate you policing how people engage in fandom I hate you actively trying to make fandom spaces hostile I hate you refusal to filter your feed I hate you making it everyone else's problem

#like no it's actually not ok for you to send death threats to someone because you don't like how they're shipping characters #ok to reblog #i hate you meme #anyway back to ao3 #because i think original context tends to be helpful to know #this post was about zadr. and by extension an//ti zadr. #but i know this applies to a lot of fandoms

[andhumanslovedstories]

A while ago at work, I had a patient whose condition rapidly deteriorated during my shift, which I believed at the time was due to me not monitoring certain therapies closely enough. Essentially patient had parameters that their oxygen saturations should be between 88-92%. The patient was on supplemental oxygen via a nasal cannula, and was having oxygen saturations of 95% or more. The patient later became lethargic, confused, and hard to rouse. The patient was in hypercapnic respiratory failure, where they essentially were not exhaling enough CO2, the waste product of respirations. Patients who have oxygen parameters of 88-92% tend to be COPD patients, and I'd been taught where giving them too much oxygen can result in CO2 retention.

We ended up having to call a rapid response on that patient who needed to go on the bipap (non-invasive ventilator) to help them breathe effectively, and I went home from that shift feeling certain that I killed this person. That I had triggered a terminal decline that the patient would never recover from.

(Perhaps some context here: my grandfather went into hypercapnic respiratory failure and then died within a few days. Maybe he would have passed either way, I think probably he would have, but the respiratory failure was the moment his decline started accelerating. After he went hypercapnic, he was non-responsive from that point on.)

I called in sick to my next shift because I couldn't face going in. I spent the day thinking about what I'd done, what my moral obligations were, how do you atone for something when you cannot reverse the effects of the original error, and how paralyzed by shame I felt. What did I owe the patient? What did I owe the family? What did I owe myself? How many times had this happened before and I just didn't know because the decline happened after my shift ended?

It was a productive if unpleasant day of trying to sincerely examine myself and the things I'd done wrong without flagellating myself. It'd be almost easily to complete condemn myself and to stop nursing because I'm a Bad Nurse than it would have been to acknowledge the many steps that led to this patient outcome, only some of which I had a hand in. But this was my patient. They were my responsibility. What was the right reaction to have? What should I be feeling? In the course of doing my job, I caused harm to someone I swore to take care of. I still think that I am a thoughtful, hardworking, and compassionate nurse. I don't think the hospital would be better off if I quit. But I hurt someone.

I thought a lot about how this outcome happened, came up with steps to prevent it in the future, and found a new commitment within myself for continued learning. (If you've got a timeline of my particular fixations, this is about when my determination to go to grad school began.) I also thought about how much shame was making me sick. When my patient started declining and I realized the effects of my actions and inactions, one of my first thoughts was genuinely, "Everyone's going to know what I did." It was thought with absolute horror. I'd hurt someone and everyone was going to know it. They were going to know I was bad at my job and bad as a person.

And I was struck by what an unhelpful emotion that was. How much it made me, if only for a moment, tell NO ONE what was going on and what I believed to be the root cause. That it'd be better to let the decline continue rather than intervene because if I intervened that'd be admitting that I'd done something wrong. I didn't listen to that voice that told me to hide what I'd done, but I instantly understood the power of it.

There's this thing called the Compass of Shame which is about the different ways people handle their own feelings of shame--they avoid the shame, they withdraw from themselves and others, they attack others, they attack themselves. I know my own reactions to shame and try therefore not to go with my gut instincts, which are always to say I'm an irredeemably bad person and no one can know about this and if anyone does not about what I've done wrong, I deserve literally whatever punishment they could give me. I've had to learn I can both have failed to complete my responsibilities and still not deserve to lose my job or my flunk this class or give up on college or lose all my friends. But there is something appealing about masochistic shame. Like you can prevent others from judging and punishing you if you sufficiently judge and punish yourself. You'll still be a wretched monster, but no one else needs to know that.

That's actively dangerous for patients, who are the victims of healthcare errors, and it doesn't help prevent future mistakes if we are too ashamed to talk about what happened and why. We'll just keep fucking up in the exact same ways because no one else told us how they'd fucked up that way in the past and here's how we've changed the process because of that. I therefore have an ethical obligation to not internalize shame when I make mistakes at my job. I have tried to remember that while also trying my best to not make the same mistakes twice.

And then a week later, I was sent back to the same floor with the patient who'd declined on my watch. Because I'm a float RN and therefore don't have an assigned unit, I go to different floors every night (occasionally multiple floors on the same night). I see patients for 12 hours and then almost never see them again. Since I was back on the floor, I girded myself and went to go visit the patient, who to my surprise was alert and upright and about the same as I'd seen her at the beginning of my shift before they'd gotten bad. I said hi and asked how the patient was doing, and the answer was that patient was doing about the same as they'd been doing for the last month.

This was not good news for the patient, who was still medically complex, still dealing with an extremely difficult to address condition, but they were also not in the ICU, dying, or dead which is what I'd feared. And with the new knowledge that the patient was, if not okay, than at least stable as ever despite my actions, I could look back on that shift and see it differently, namely that this patient kept continuing to go into hypercapnic respiratory failure with or without oxygen. And then I looked into what I thought I'd been negligent about before and found that the scholarship on it was more complicated and divided than I'd thought. That the mechanism of action that I thought was driving the hypercapnic respiratory failure was in fact waaaaaaaaaaay more complicated than just over oxygenation, particularly in this patient who had a number of muscular abnormalities that made much more of an impact on ventilation than the oxygen would have. And while I still had to improve my practice, upon more reflection I could no longer say there was a direct one to one of my actions and the patient's decline.

I felt simultaneously forgiven, absolved, and humbled. I cannot describe to you the almost sheepish relief that rushed over me. Nothing that bad had happened. What did happen was only ambiguously my fault.

There's a power fantasy to shame sometimes, that you are uniquely bad and that your actions have monumental consequences. My actions on the job can have monumental consequences, but usually they are little things, little cares, little turns, little med doses, little therapies, little steps, little tasks, little jobs, little kindnesses or little cruelties that help a patient move forward or which hold a patient back. I'm there for 12 hours and never again. I can do a lot in that time, but I'm not gonna cure them and I'm probably not going to kill them. It's a relief, and it's a strange disappointment. We want to be important, even in bad ways.

While I can certainly fuck things up for patients, while I can certainly kill patients or traumatize them or withhold care or misuse my position, while I can do all those things, I don't actually have that much power over life and death. Everything that goes wrong isn't my fault. And sometimes something is your fault and nothing really happens except a few people have a bad night and you try not to do it again. I think that last bit is the most important part. I still should have titrated her oxygen down. I'm more careful about that now. I'm trying not to fuck up in the exact same way. I'll find exciting new ways to fuck up, and then I'll learn from those too.

#nursing tag #this is like waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more detailed that i typically like to get with a post about my job #but i've been really thinking about it #this is the long post i said i'd reward myself with btw

[your-turn-to-role]

also. i absolutely adored what lovm did with the pass through fire quote

but then it makes me emotional about the original context, so i have to share that too (minor plot spoilers ahead)

because it wasn't originally to do with the ashari at all. it was from patrick rothfuss' guest character, a blacksmith named kerrek, who helped vox machina fight against the dragon in westruun, and helped keyleth personally through some difficult stuff (he may yet appear on lovm, but given the context of the quote now i doubt we'll get all of it)

and a little after kerrek's episode, patrick rothfuss actually made a legit letter from kerrek to keyleth, with a present inside, and left it with matt until whatever point in the plot she was able to recieve it

which by coincidence was one of the hardest moments in the whole campaign for her

and this letter had marisha legit crying in the episode, because it's just. so beautiful, and so needed. and it goes:

Keyleth,

I write to let you and your companions know that the repair of Westruun is proceeding well. I will not bore you with the details. Suffice to say that our children are well-fed and safe, our elderly and infirm are cared for and comfortable. Without the help of you and yours, this would not be the case.

The folk in charge argue constantly, but that is to be expected, and it is no bad thing. They all want the same good things in different ways. I listen, mostly, and do what I can to make sure that they listen to each other. Without listening, nothing good can happen.

The town... when I say the repair is going well, it is a hard thing for me to talk about. I am not a particularly clever man, and much of this is new to me. When you make a mistake with metal, you can melt things down and start afresh. It is irritating, and it costs in time and soot and sweat, but it can be done. There is a comfort in iron, knowing that a fresh start is always possible. But a city is not a sword. It is a living thing, and living things defy simple fixing. Roots cannot be reforged. They scar, and broken branches must be cut and sealed with tar, and this makes me angry, as it always has, and my anger has no place to go.

It was easier when I was young. I could use my anger like a hammer against the world. I was so sure of myself and my friends and my rightness. I would hammer at the world, and breaking felt like making to me, and I was good at it. And while I was not wrong, neither was I entirely right. Nothing is simple.

I do not work in wood. I am not brave enough for that. There is a comfort in iron, a promise of safety, a second chance if mistakes are made. But a city is more a forest than a sword. No, it needs more tending than that.

Perhaps a city is like a garden, then. So these days, it seems I have become a gardener. I dig foundations in the earth. I sow rows of houses. I plan and plant. I watch the skies for rain and ruin. I cannot help but think that you would be better at this, but circumstance has put both of us in our own odd place. You are forced to be a hammer in the world, and my ungentle hands are learning how to tend a plot of land. We must do what we can do.

Did you know that there are some seeds that cannot sprout unless they are first burned? A friend once told me that. She was... she was a bookish sort. I think of gardening constantly these days. I wear your gift, and I think of you, and I think it is interesting that there are some living things that need to pass through fire before they flourish.

I ramble. You have the heart of a gardener, and because of this, you think of consequence, and your current path pains you. I am not wise, and I do not give advice, but I have come to know a few things: sometimes breaking is making. Even iron can start again. And there are many things that move through fire and find themselves much better for it afterward.

I have enclosed a gift. Once it was a sword, but it has changed. It is a small thing, and silly. Please forgive an old man for his foolishness. Still, I hope it brings you some small comfort.

Kindly, Kerr.

and the present inside the envelope? a ring, engraved with the phrase "I have passed through fire."

#hi i saw a gifset of marisha getting the ring and im emotional again so have the full letter #god patrick rothfuss i know you're a professional writer but how are you so good at this #cr1 #the legend of vox machina #keyleth #kerrek #cr thoughts

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Q's Relevance and Parallels to Double Black

I had a sudden brainwave of thoughts (read: I only got three hours of sleep last night) and needed to share. I've thought this for awhile but I really think Q will be returning to the series at some point.

First of all, there's just too much ambiguity there and I want to know more about Q in general. What happened to Q to spawn an ability like that? Why does Dazai speak about them like they're the devil incarnate? What was the incident that led to so many Mafia deaths in an effort to lock Q up? Is there any significance to Q's unusual eyes (remember that most characters tend to have fairly normal eyes, and this is a series where the eyes carry symbolic weight)? What's with Q being strung up in this position that is eerily similar to a crucifixion, shortly before Steinbeck has a conversation about God existing but not loving them?

There's a lot there. I've spoken about this before in the meta I did about Dazai's change in approach after the Q chapter, which was genuinely an unexpected event he did not anticipate. But there's something fascinating about the way Chuuya reacts to Q as well. In fact, both Dazai and Chuuya are almost uncharacteristically murderous towards this kid, and that's real interesting, seeing as many aspects of Q mirror aspects of their younger selves.

Now I understand you might be thinking: uncharacteristically murderous? Story, they have both literally killed many, many people before. Yes, but context is important here.

Dazai doesn't have strong violent urges - not even in the Mafia, where he was considered terrifying more so due to his apathy in killing than anything. I can't remember a scene where Dazai is described as radiating bloodlust like Kyouka or Mori. Dazai is scary because of his indifferent hollowness at his worst points. Odasaku was described similarly in Untold Origins - there was no real desire to kill, just a listless cold follow-through. Dazai's sadistic methods, brought up by Higuchi in Chapter 25, are acknowledged as a means to an end, a method, not something done out of any strong desire or enjoyment. So when Dazai makes death threats or appears visibly angered - that's something worth taking note of. For him to make a promise to Q to pluck out their heart - holy shit. That is not typical Dazai behaviour. He doesn't even make that kind of threat towards Fyodor. Whatever happened in the past clearly shook him, enough for this moment to change his approach in the series and send him back to using darker methods again.

As for Chuuya, while he has and does kill quite readily, this is mostly in the heat of a fight. For him to give the go-ahead for murdering an unconscious child - it's unusually cold-blooded for him, and I can't think of another instance where he's down with lethal intent outside of combat and direct orders. I've seen some people talk about his reaction to Dazai suggesting he'll kill Q as proof that he's gotten darker since we saw him last in Stormbringer, from someone who would plead for the lives of the Sheep to be spared ("They're just kids") to being ready and willing to kill a defenseless child. While I think it's likely true that he's gone darker since that point - Chuuya appears to be more cynical in the present as well as having darker eyes with a smaller central pinprick of light than in Fifteen and Stormbringer - that's not the only thing going on here.

Thing is, Chuuya has always been fairly ruthless. He’s a very vengeance oriented character, right down to his fighting style (rebounding attacks and bullets). Hurt him or someone he cares about and he hurts back - and that threat will be destroyed. Parallel to this is how he is seemingly unable to turn his back on people who have helped him. Help him and he will remain loyal and protective even if that person goes on to stab him in the back. He has a very “give and take” mentality. Chuuya operates on the reciprocity principle.

So, about Q, here’s the thing: Q is a part of the Mafia, that's true. But Q has never helped them, only hurt indiscriminately. Mafia philosophy says “protect your own and follow the boss' wishes no matter what”. But Chuuya’s philosophy is saying “neutralize the threat”. And interestingly, Chuuya’s philosophy won here. If Dazai had've killed Q, Chuuya would’ve defied Mori’s orders in favour of his own judgement, which is extra intriguing because it emphasizes Chuuya’s loyalty to the people within the Mafia, not the Mafia as an organization itself. This is in full contrast to people like Tachihara and Hirotsu, who prioritize the organization and orders above all.

And about Q being a child: I don’t think this is such a big change in his character if I'm being honest. Chuuya knows full well how dangerous a child can be - he was that dangerous child. People underestimated him as a teenager and paid for it dearly; do you really think he'd make that same mistake? He also has a very warped view on the responsibilities and ways a child should be treated… while I do believe he probably is protective of those younger than him, he also equally understands that a child can be just as much of a threat as anyone else. For Chuuya, it’s always a matter of what wins out: the person or the threat? In this case, it was the latter.

The thing is, it's interesting the way they react when you look at the way Q eerily parallels aspects of their younger selves - as well as some things that carry over to the present.

Dazai and Q share central themes of control.

Q's mind control ability is actually referenced by Dazai as being essentially the worst kind of ability there is, and I know I've mentioned before how he seems to react poorly to those people who attempt to mentally control others, placing them on a heightened level of danger (think Fyodor, Mori). I don't think I need to get into Dazai's control freak tendencies - and what's more, after Q's introduction, after he says that mind control is the worst kind of ability there is - he ramps up his masterminding and enacts as much control as he can over the proceedings of the events that follow. Q's ability is interesting in the sense that it allows them control over others, implying Q came from a background of little control. I have also hypothesized that Dazai, with his need for situational control, similarly came from a background of little control. It's also likely they both were hurt by others - Q's ability turns any pain inflicted on them back around, giving them a way to fight back, while Dazai can level the playing field of any unfair advantages by nullifying abilities.

Q's small segment in Fifteen is also interesting: they're near completely zoned out, just staring off into the distance without responding to their environment until Dazai gets directly in their face. Then Q suddenly flips a switch and becomes all cheerful and playful. It reminds me of young Dazai's quick switches between faux cheerfulness and emptiness earlier in that same book.

They also both have quite interesting relations to pain. Q wonders why cruel things always hurt them, but Q makes this a foregone conclusion by purposely arranging others to hurt them so they have an excuse to hurt those people back. Q's pain becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy: they hate it, but the only means of control they know in interactions with others requires it. Dazai similarly hates pain - his pain loop, however, is more emotional than physical. Dazai feels isolated and alienated from others, but his attempts to exert control require him to distance himself and rely on his mind over all else. He also leans into his inhuman side when it becomes apparent pain is unavoidable (I think often of his reactions throughout Dark Era to Ango's betrayal) - again, this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. He will not find anything. He will continue to be separate from humanity if this cycle continues. That was why it was imperative that Odasaku break him out of it. Self-sabotage behaviours and unhealthy cycles, physical and emotional, are apparent with these two.

For bonus points: both have injured right arms.

On a more superficial level too, Q and Dazai both have "creepy child" energy, with emphasis on the child part - they are both legitimately disturbing at times but also have moments where they show childlike interest and behaviour. (I encourage people to check out Q's mayoi cards for this - I know it's not super canon or anything but it emphasizes their "kiddishness".)

Also I'm unsure if this is significant, but there's this detail too:

Q has a very unusual right eye with a star in the center. The right eye is also the one Dazai kept covered in the Mafia. Notably also, Q's right eye is frequently obscured by their hair in key scenes.

...Does it mean something? I have no idea. But it's potentially interesting so I thought I'd add it.

Meanwhile, Chuuya and Q share themes of loss of control.

For Q, this is quite obvious. They are literally locked up; imprisoned within the Mafia and unable to exert control over their circumstances. For Chuuya, it's a little more subtle but still present, I believe: I invite people to look at his character song and mayoi (particularly aquarium) for direct references to feelings of being trapped. However, looking at Fifteen and Stormbringer, there are a few mentions of freedom that are intriguing in relation to Chuuya's character. In Fifteen, both Dazai and Shirase mention Chuuya's "freedom"... but this is almost a mockery of what's really going on. A party to celebrate Chuuya's freedom is really an elaborate set up for a trap. Shirase telling Chuuya that he should have the freedom to act on his own wishes is really a cover up for a betrayal. In both instances, Chuuya's freedom is a lie. Stormbringer, at the very least, instates a sense of agency where he at least has the freedom to make choices about his own actions - that's the whole point of his hat; it's a symbol of autonomy (also anti-mind control; more on that in a bit). However, Stormbringer also systematically strips away the start of any alternate path Chuuya could've taken - he cannot be the child he was, he never got to hear the pitch on living in the light. He feels genuine gratitude towards those in the Mafia - they have his back, which is more than he could say before, but at the same time, the Mafia is kind of the last option available there if he wants not to be alone... and Chuuya does not want to be alone. (Seriously. His character song. Please look at it. Also Stormbringer.)

Now, onto their abilities, which also parallel in the sense that they are both used to "get back" at people. Chuuya rebounds attacks - bullets shot at him ricochet back at the people who fired, and Q hurts people who hurt them. There's a very reciprocal relation to the way they use their abilities, and it is absolutely to induce fear and intimidation in others, but there's a key difference. Namely, Chuuya fights only against enemies or people who strike first. Q, on the other hand, intentionally makes "enemies" out of even innocent bystanders just to have a reason to hurt them back. A lot of this is due to Q's misanthropic nature - I doubt Q has ever had a positive bond with another person, and so Q sees the whole world as their enemy - a world which, to them, does not want them in it. Chuuya, on the other hand, has had people who care about him, and he cares about them in turn. He's a bit jaded but he doesn't hate humanity, far from it.

In that sense, Q parallels Verlaine in a sense, right down to being kept in a special secret room in the Mafia, hehe. Though again, there's differences. Verlaine chooses to stay in that room, first of all, while Q doesn't have a choice. Verlaine's angst is internal identity based while Q's is more external situation based. In response to their pain, Verlaine chooses to relinquish control of himself (Brutalization), and Q chooses to have everyone else lose control of themselves (Dogra Magra). Verlaine says "look at how monstrous I am and how I hate and hurt because of it" and Q says "look at how monstrous you all are and how I hate and hurt because of it".

Chuuya is not so far on either extreme that he emulates this - but he could've ended up like Verlaine, and he admits it in Stormbringer. He could've maybe ended up something like Q too, if he'd remained trapped as a lab rat. But see here's the key with Chuuya: his hat makes it so the choice to lose control of himself is his alone, and moreover, that losing control doesn't mean he goes out of control. He trusts that he can lose control for a bit, place it in someone else's hands for awhile before it goes too far. Trusts that the choice to lose himself will be followed by the keeping of a promise to bring him back to himself. Chuuya has bonds, and that's the key difference.

But uh. Going back to parallels... about the scene where Q gets tortured... and the scene where Chuuya gets tortured...

Is this significant...?

...is... is this...

...

.............

Um. I may be delusional. But. Well. *gestures at all of this*

So, where does this leave us? Well, we have Dazai, who sees a manipulative, mind-controlling kid that he calls a "walking disaster", and we have Chuuya, who sees a dangerous ability user that is too big of a potential threat to not be dealt with, so the two decide the best course of action is to kill them about it. The reason Dazai did not follow through is likely a mix of his stated reason (the Mafia cannot harm Dazai so long as he is needed to stop Q), and probably also that he isn't really supposed to be directly killing anymore.

Nice, guys. Really clear and consciously held self-concepts you got there.

Considering everything, it's maddening that all we have on the dynamic between these three is: Q joins in Fifteen at the same time as the other two and is assigned to Dazai since he can stop their ability. Mori doesn't know what it is at that point but assumes whatever it is will be manageable because Dazai can just nullify it. It... clearly wasn't.

I feel like there has to be something here and that we're going to be coming back to it. Q, the old Boss, how Mori got so close as an underground physician in such a short time... there's so much about the Mafia we don't know so I'm assuming the story will shift to focus on these points again... someday. Hopefully.

#i have even more thoughts unwritten if you can believe it but seeing as it is 4 am i should probably stop. also this is too long. #but yeah i frequently think about how horrified and genuinely spiteful dazai is with q like... what happened??? #ok just had an awful thought: what if whatever happened with q inspired dazai's brutal treatment of akutagawa #...honestly maybe. it's actually a possibility if something went terribly wrong before. #this... isn't the meta i was supposed to be writing or even started to write... oh well #enjoy? #is this even coherent? #bsd #bsd meta #bsd q #bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #soukoku #skk #bsd fifteen #bsd stormbringer #storyrambles

[aladygrieve]

I know we all think of Burn Butcher Burn as THEE breakup song, but I’d like to turn everyone’s attention back to Her Sweet Kiss for a minute. It tends to get overlooked compared to the other in-universe songs, mostly because the final version was never technically diagetic. But it plays over the 1x06 credits, and we’re clearly supposed to understand it as having been written immediately post-mountain.

If you remember, Jaskier was working on this portion of the lyrics at the very beginning of the episode:

“I’m weak, my love, and I am wanting / If this is the path I must trudge / I’ll welcome my sentence / Give to you my penance / (Gorgeous) garotter, jury and judge.”

He wrote this before Geralt ever sent him away, and it becomes all the more heartbreaking in hindsight when you realize what it means in that context. This is Jaskier accepting that Geralt will never love him back. He’s too weak to do the harder thing and just leave, but he accepts that his feelings will never be returned because to him, being with Geralt in any capacity is worth the punishment of unrequited love. Supporting him in whatever way Geralt will accept is his penance.

And then Geralt blames Jaskier for all his problems and banishes him from his life. The lyrics are worked into a song all about Yennefer, a warning to Geralt about the dangers of being in a relationship with her. The original lines remain exactly the same (except that, tellingly, “Gorgeous” is removed), but the context shifts. The path Jaskier must trudge is now a lonely one, the punishment worse than ever. He feels he deserves to do penance for the crime of his unreturned feelings and sees himself as a burden and an annoyance for having them because Geralt just told him that’s what he is. He’s lost the one thing that made all that pain worth it, but now he’s too weak to do the harder thing and fight to stay with Geralt. Jaskier won’t protest Geralt’s cruel and unfair treatment of him because he knows (thinks) he’s already lost him to Yennefer forever. Burn Butcher Burn is full of rage, but in the immediate aftermath there’s no anger, only heartbreak.

Which only makes Jaskier’s relationship with Yennefer in Season 2 all the more interesting. This is the woman he thinks he lost his love to, and only months ago he wrote a whole song begging Geralt to stay the fuck away from her. There’s a deep bitterness when they first meet that is only slightly masked by Jaskier’s usual humour, but as soon as he realizes the danger she’s in, his first instinct is to help her and protect her. The camaraderie they find in their mutual fallings out with Geralt, and the softness initiated by Yennefer being a hugger, is really special to watch.

I don’t really know where I’m going with this other than that Jaskier is a gem and he doesn’t deserve to be shit on by the narrative the way he has been.

#the witcher #jaskier #geraskier #her sweet kiss #yennefer of vengerberg #yennskier #geralt x jaskier #burn butcher burn #the witcher netflix #twn #the witcher season 1 #the witcher season 2 #1x06 rare species #2x04 redanian intelligence

[sleeplesssmoll]

Reverse1999: I Overlooked an entire Timeskip (spoilers for Ch 3)

And more character analysis because I can't help it. A deeper dive into Vertin and Sonetto's dynamic.

I was under the assumption the time Vertin gave Sonetto the frog and the Break-away events were relatively close but I was mistaken (Why do I have eyes if I'm not going to use them?). Take a look at these avatars. Sorry about the image quality:

This is Vertin and Sonetto in the hallway during the frog event.

This is them during the Parade Ceremony:

Years must have passed after Vertin had her feelings hurt. Look how fluffy Sonetto became and Vertin started putting her hair up. Idk why I didn't notice this right away but the two had more tension between them than I originally thought. Kids feel things very deeply. Even if you're an adult and your memory is foggy, it's easier to recall the way you felt in those moments than the events themselves. This changes some of the context I see things.

These two rarely interacted but are keenly aware of each other's presence for better or worse. Even when Sonetto's confronting her years after the frog event, Vertin is very soft/quiet in those interactions. The usual sass and dry humor we see her treat situations with in Ch 3 is suddenly gone. Also, this is Vertin we're talking about. She's the rulebreaker. She doesn't care about the handbook or the bullies who pick on her. She steps out of line. She asks the questions no one wants to answer. She's used to being berated by teachers but still carries on catching frogs, even if it means getting hurt by the electric fence.

Yet, Sonetto's rejection cut her deeply.

Vertin values Sonetto's opinion above most people's in chapter 3.

On one hand you could say it's because of a crush but on the other hand, maybe she's still hurt from that day in the hallway. Maybe she doesn't know how to handle Sonetto, especially since the top student tends to avoid her unless necessary. Vertin mentions this when Sonetto lends her notes after the tear gas incident. Not to mention her confusion when Sonetto shows up to help her fight Lilya. There's so many things she wants to ask, yet there is not enough time. The two say their goodbyes. Sonetto wants to make sure Vertin won't regret her decision. By leaving, Vertin will be throwing away everything the Foundation gave her. It's symbolic of Vertin the rebel leaving the Foundation's top dog behind.

But the scene invokes sadness rather than triumph. Sonetto was never her enemy. Vertin overcame every moment of hesitation until this point. When the door slowly lowers between them, they watch as it closes. Vertin only leaves once its completely shut.

Despite all this, Vertin never truly left Sonetto behind. Present Vertin remembers Sonetto's quirks and habits from back when they were children (we can see this in the prologue). In Vertin's dreams we see her still wishing to show Sonetto the world. She's living rent free in the Timekeeper's head.

As for Sonetto, I don't think she ever hated Vertin but she was frustrated by her rule breaking. Vertin's already a troublesome student because of her weak arcanum but she exacerbates it by being rebellious. Sonetto won't bite the hand that feeds her. She is grateful for the Foundation's "care".

However, She'll reluctantly come over if Vertin calls, even if she knows Vertin is being a rascal again. She warns Vertin constantly about behaving but we've never seen her snitch. Perhaps she knows what will happen if she does. Vertin will get hurt. She tries to stop her herself because the instructors have no patience for Vertin. She threatens to tell on Vertin before the Parade when she realizes Vertin is up to something. She could have easily reported Vertin before the Parade, but she doesn't. First time seeing this I read it "I've got my eye on you." The second time, I read it as "I don't want you to get hurt." She's trying to deter Vertin from acting out because the Parade Ceremony is huge and Vertin's already spent time in the guardhouse. The instructors are pulling out all stops.

When Sonetto was ordered to fight her friends she was confused and froze up. When the kids were locked in the guardhouse, she tried to bring them food but was turned away. She tries to show kindness while working within the Foundation's parameters but doesn't understand that won't be enough. There is a very loving person and curious person underneath the Foundation's indoctrination. I think Vertin saw glimpses of that in Sonetto but didn't understand why Sonetto couldn't act on them like she did.

Here we have two people who care about each other but can't overcome the differences between each other to make it work.

Although, it makes you wonder, why Sonetto? It could have been any other student with a sense of curiosity.

But its always Sonetto.

And what the hell happened between in the time Vertin became the Timekeeper to make Sonetto's attitude do a 180? Is it because she had more freedom to be herself after becoming an investigator? Did she try to get closer to Vertin after the break away event because she was worried about her? How much contact did she have with Vertin after this because Vertin is treated differently after becoming the Timekeeper.

#reverse 1999 #reverse: 1999 #sonetto #vertin #character analysis

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for being harsh to one of my group mates?

(📳🎓)

For context, this is in uni, and most of us are between 18 to 20 years old. We've been assigned a group project we need to do basically, and while there were originally 8 of us, for the longest time there were only 5 of us. The other 3 were unavailable for a variety of reasons - until within the past two or so weeks, one of them (I'll call A) started showing up to some lectures. Not all of them mind you, but a couple of them.

Initially I was a bit 'ehhh' on A, simply because he hasn't shown up until now. However the rest of the group wanted to give him a chance, and for the sake of fairness we did. And for the most part, imo, he's been unreliable. He showed up recently to one of our more important sessions (the session essentially being producing a bulk of the work we'd need to do) and was genuinely helpful, but for me the pressing issues I have with him are that

1. He's inconsistent. He only got to that session because we prodded him about it on WhatsApp, and I'm sure that if we didn't he wouldn't have turned up at all

2. He rarely if at all communicates with us. He responded to one person (who I'll call D) twice and another person once. While in person he's a lot better, getting in touch with him otherwise is essentially impossible.

The kicker recently is that in person, we agreed to have a one on one meeting where we'd talk about what we've done so far and what he'll be able to help out with in the future. I arrived to the location, and waited... He never showed up. I texted him multiple times to let him know that if he's late he needs to tell me, and as I'm writing this he still hasn't even bothered to read the messages at all. I let D, who's our group leader, know and they believe he shouldnt share our grade. I agree.

However, the reason why I feel I'm the AH is because he says he's been having some mental health issues. He didn't specify what, just that it's 'been hard getting out of bed' and the like. He may have mentioned depression, but I also can't 100% confirm it. The rest of the group believe we should give him another chance, saying that depression is hard and that we can't expect him to be fine 100% now, and they've even said that D themself is inconsistent when it comes to showing up to meetings, which is true. They say that they themselves have had similar struggles in the past and they sympathise.

While that's fair, I'm also of the opinion that well... He hasn't even done a lot of work. Like at all. He helped during that session but has otherwise done fuck all. From a practical standpoint he doesn't deserve a grade simply because he's done essentially nothing since we started, even if it is because he's been having a bad time. However, he also hasn't had much time to prove himself that he is capable of helping, so it could be that I'm just pre-judging him out of cynicism.

It might also not help that I'm a very practical person when it comes to mental health - I deal with my own shit, tend not to burden anyone with my issues if I can, and just get on with things. My anxieties were rough before uni, and while it's gotten better in some areas it's gotten worse in others. Yknow, stuff like money, if I'm even eating properly, general life, personal circumstances, all that shit. However it might be that A is the type to get buried in his feelings, and my more practical viewpoint is me being way too harsh on someone who is struggling.

While I understand where my group is coming from, I still don't think A should share our grade. Imo he hasnt shown much initiative if at all for the group, and even if he was struggling the fact that he just generally hasn't done anything means I don't think he should share our grade. AITA?

TLDR: Guy in a group has done not much in terms of participating in our group project, because he's been struggling mentally up until now. Group is mostly sympathetic and wants to give him another chance, while I think otherwise, believing he's had enough chances already.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[sporesgalaxy]

You have a knack for designing fan characters that fit super well with the rest of the cast! How do you so this? Very cool

Thank you very much!!!! Here is my best shot at talking thru all my reasoning!!!

So...the term "visual language" is really especially apt for this. Understanding the logic behind the character design in something feels a lot like getting to know a language.

Earlier on, I think my process included a lot more rewatching/rereading the source material for visual reference and scowering wiki galleries. I always especially pay attention to background characters because they will sometimes have more variety-- this broadens my "vocabulary" in the show or comic's visual language, and I can express more varied things in more natural-feeling ways.

Nowadays I tend to approach every visual story with the intention of dissecting the art style and character design from the get-go, so I do a lot of mental cataloguing on my first go-through of anything.

I think a good way to think about it is to break the character design down into chunks. The chunks I tend to use are

what art styles and real-world fashions does the costume design draw from?

how are outstanding physical traits emphasized? What art styles does this emphasis draw from?

of the design elements I know I want for my character, are any of them NOT rendered in the original material? where could I find a reference to something similar? (In one of the styles it draws inspo from? Or could I find a similarly constructed but nonidentical thing to model it after?)

Even if you're not necessarily planning to always imitate the art style of the original, that art style will have a lot of influence over the character design choices, so understanding style will help you understand the character design.

It's like understading a word because you know its latin root, or the context it was used in. This is most difficult for me with costume design, because real-world contexts are not always considered in stuff like cartoons and comics, where no one has to think about the actual construction of the garment.

It's hardest to imitate someone's reasoning when that reasoning is just what they personally think "looks cool." These character designs are the ones that torment me the most. It also makes it more difficult to understand a character design if there is a cultural context to it that is alien to you. Sometimes this is obvious and you can just learn the cultural context, but sometimes cultural things are so ingrained that no one mentions them, and those can be hard to figure out because you don't know what to look for.

#asks

[pearwaldorf]

Have you heard about what's happening on dreamwidth/FFA and volunteers talking about the dysfunction happening in the OTW and the CSEM incident?

I have! It's real fucked up!

(Blanket warning for discussion of CSAM/CSEM, as well as exposure to such in a volunteer context, in text and links below.)

For those who are unaware, failfandomanon (FFA) is an anonymous meme community on Dreamwidth for people to discuss all things fandom, serious or not. I think it tends towards kneejerk anti-purity wank, but it is one of the few places where people can talk openly about fandom things without it being traced back to a publicly identifiable handle. This context will become important later on.

You may remember last year AO3 got hit with emails containing CSAM and they had to lock everything down while they dealt with it.

A few days ago somebody on FFA asked about what happened re: the AO3 volunteers working through that period. Here is the tweet chain where I found out about it, with screencaps from FFA. Basically, said volunteers got a list of links to mental health hotlines and the names of people who volunteered themselves as resources for dealing with this stuff. Yeah. (As a tangent, the OTW has an estimated ~$2mm cash reserve. At no point did they decide to hire a counselor or any other sort of professional help to assist their volunteers in dealing with this.)

Impertinence has a good rundown of the timeline of events.

azarias, the person who became the defacto CSAM resource person (a truly horrifying statement), was traumatized dealing with this. The OTW used this opportunity to force her out because people on the Board didn't like her, realized they wouldn't have a defacto CSAM person, and reinstated her, expecting that she would go back to doing what she did previously. This goes beyond benign neglect into real actual harm inflicted upon volunteers.

Then! Then! THEN!! This message (FFA original) was sent out to everybody in the OTW volunteer Slack. Which basically says to volunteers "If we don't like you we'll come down on you like a ton of bricks if you talk about how we abused you."

I don't know who's keeping up on this on Twitter, but somebody started a Dreamwidth aggregating most of what you see above.

I know this is a lot of information to throw at people. I encourage you to read it and process at your own pace because this is important to understand. And while I believe this is trustworthy information (as far as I can tell), I'm not a substitute for your own personal judgment and brain.

It is clear to me the Organization of Transformative Works has abrogated its responsibility to its volunteers as people and as laborers on behalf of the organization. There is no formal mechanism for us as AO3 users or as people the organization claims to represent (members of fandom) to demand remediation on behalf of azarias or other volunteers who have been traumatized by this.

I expect there will be a lot more people than usual at the next board meeting (I do not see one scheduled currently), but they still don't really answer to us. If you donated at least $10 during the last pledge drive you're eligible to vote in the board elections, but that does not fix the current situation or the culture that lead to it.

As somebody who has been in fandom longer than some of you have been alive, and as somebody who's had an AO3 account since 2009, it grieves me to come to terms with the rot in the OTW culture, which is deeper than I could have imagined. It's one thing to see an organization drag its feet on things it promised to do years ago or misread the room regarding new technology. It is a whole other thing to have evidence it harmed people through active malice because they didn't like them and refused to make amends when confronted. That is not something I can support, regardless of what it may have done for fandom in the past.

#replies #Anonymous #otw #organization for transformative works #ao3 #archive of our own #otw fuckery 2023

[douglysium]

Episode 11 TMP Quick Thoughts

Housekeeping and Prologue

Hello, this is Douglysium and you might not know me as that guy who wrote over 100 pages of analysis on the Eye (which can be read on Tumblr here (https://douglysium.tumblr.com/post/735599414228484097/the-relationships-between-the-dread-powers-the) or Google Docs here (The Relationships Between the Dread Powers: The Eye- Knowledge is Fear and Ignorance is Bliss)) or as that guy who wrote an article on the Extinction (which can be read on Tumblr here(https://douglysium.tumblr.com/post/717929126195003392/what-would-avatars-of-the-extinction-be-like-a) and Google Docs here(​What would Avatars of the Extinction be like?: A TMA Speculation)). Suffice to say I might be a bit of a TMA fan. Also, spoilers for TMP up until episode 10. You can read my ramblings on the last episode here (Episode 10 TMP Quick Thoughts).

However, Protocol offers a very unique opportunity and experience for me because I didn’t actually get into TMA until after it was over and I binged all of it. So this is my first time experiencing something even remotely similar to what the original TMA fans probably experienced when waiting for each episode week by week and slowly having to put everything together with the limited information they had. So I decided to throw my hat into the ring since this might be my only chance to do something similar. However, I’m working on some longer form TMA content so I can’t spend as much time on these articles giving a bunch of super detailed thoughts. I will try to keep these short and that inevitably might mean some could have questions about why I think or predict certain things and in those cases I would probably recommend you read at least some of the two articles I mentioned above to get a better idea of where I’m coming from. This also means I won’t be giving you a play-by-play of every single thing that happens in the episode so I encourage you to listen to or read them yourselves and feel free to comment if you feel something is important.

These reviews are probably going to end up focusing mostly on the Entities and their manifestations as they are what I have thought about the most and spent the most time interpreting and there’s been a lot of… interesting theories floating around about how the Entities are manifesting that I want to go over.

Finally, I’m just going to say it right now, spoiler warning for all of The Magnus Archives. I know that Jon and co said one could start with Protocol and be fine, and while that’s probably true, media like this tends to be made in conversation with or take into consideration what came before it in the irl chronology in order to connect them. While I’m sure you could skip The Magnus Archives, I don't really see the point of skipping over it when we are already getting characters from TMA showing up in TMP in Protocol. So to me it’s pretty clear that if we want to understand the full picture of TMP and all the things it is trying to say then we can’t just try to pretend TMA doesn’t exist or scrub it away. Just because you could understand what’s happening without the context in broad strokes doesn’t mean you're getting all the nuances.

These articles are meant to be quick and short so sorry if there’s typos and if I don’t address every possible question or possibility. I don’t want to repeat myself too much in this series outside of the prologue so be sure to skim some of my other articles.

Episode 11 “Marked”

And we are back, baby. I’ve actually started writing this literally the second after I finished listening to the episode. I was originally planning to wait until the weekend to write this but I’ve become so excited I can’t help myself, and Rusty Quill has been on top of posting the transcripts when the episodes comes out.

As always, the episode is being told to us through some sort of device. In this case we cut to Celia via her phone. The transcripts make it clear what’s happening “A busy motorway nearby. CELIA is asleep on grass. She starts to make slightly distressed noises as she stirs. A lorry roars past nearby and she awakes with a start.” She obviously seems frustrated upon realizing something has happened again but she realizes something as she begins to pat herself down looking for her phone or some other (most likely communication) device.

CELIA 

“(to herself) Yes! Ok, phone in the pocket works. She starts tapping the screen.”

CELIA 

“(to herself) If it had signal. She sighs in helpless frustration.”

CELIA 

“Shit.” She stretches and starts trudging off towards the motorway. 

CELIA 

“Hold on, Jack, I’m on my way.” 

Celia probably comes from or has some relation to the TMA universe but what this entire situation has to do with it, if anything, is beyond me. I don’t know who Jack is and Celia implies that this entire situation has happened before. It is once again confirmed however that whatever is listening through all the electronic devices in TMP doesn’t need said devices to have wi-fi or internet connection to be able to do so. Which was further emphasized by the fact that it was capable of listening through a tape recorder last episode.

Now that I think about it, did Celia need the phone for communication or some other thing. It’s possible that she was trying to access something like a GPS or online map to figure out where she was or where to go but it’s unclear. I can’t say if Celia implying this has happened before means she has woken up at this exact spot or random areas in general. Considering her questions to Sam about multiversal and time travel I wonder if she attempted some sort of experiment which led to her appearing in this location. Is Celia trying to get somewhere in particular? Maybe she’s trying to get back to the TMA universe or maybe she’s trying to get somewhere new?

We cut to the OIAR offices via one of the computers. I consider the interaction we witness in this scene to be another enlightening one about some of the possible dynamics at play in the OIAR workplace. Alice clearly cares strongly about Sam and they like to tease each other a lot. Sam seems a bit down about finding no clues about the Magnus Institute and Alice tries to cheer Sam up. The two talk about where Celia and Gwen are but neither knows where they are. It makes sense that they would wonder since Gwen seems like a stickler for rules and it seems weird that about half the people working in this office have disappeared with no notice. Gwen brought Sam and Celia coffee while also mentioning “I’ve got a mocha for Celia and I was really looking forward to pretending I “accidentally” forgot to order Gwen anything.” Once again, highlighting how antagonistic their relationship is and how Alice can go beyond just simple teasing and towards just being outright hostile or mean toward Gwen.

Alice seems extremely nervous and mentions “ just… I dunno. When I left the coffee shop, it felt like someone was following me.” Sam jokes “Sounds like maybe you were more bothered by that “soggy ruin” than you admit.” but Alice asks him not to joke about it, which shows that she’s extremely rattled. This level of fear from being watched sort of parallels the Institute in TMA with how Jon was scared from a feeling of being watched in the Institute. In MAG 39 (Infestation) Jon says “Because I’m scared, Martin!. Because when I record these statements it feels… it feels like I’m being watched.” However, it’s clear that what Alice is probably feeling is related to whatever escaped from the Institute in the last episode. I wonder if that being is somehow connected to The Eye. It is an Entity connected to both the fear of being watched and even followed or stalked. Not to mention the creature came from the Institute, a faction that was at least aligned with The Eye in TMA.

However, there’s an argument that this could just as easily be something related to The Spiral, Stranger, Hunt, or some other Entity entirely. The Institute had dealings with all kinds of Entities, not just The Eye. The most obvious example of this is their Artifact Storage, which collected objects connected to various Entities. So it’s possible this is some other Entity’s Monster or Avatar that was being sealed and / or researched. Considering all the alchemical undertones I even have to wonder if it’s some sort of artificial creation like some kind of homunculus.

Sam offers to walk with Alice home, to which she appreciates, and they get to work categorizing their statements. We follow the statement that Sam is listening to as exposited by CHESTER.

This statement comes from emails being sent from Gordon J to Alison Leshi regarding “Padstow civil cemetery exhumations.” In case you don’t know, an exhumation is “the action of digging up something buried, especially a corpse.” Gordon starts off by explaining to Alison that everything is going as planned, despite the sudden cold snap, due to proper planning. He also says “We also did some load testing of the ground near the cliff edge, and it looks like there’s only a few graves where the erosion means we won’t be able to use the Bobcat, and that’s few enough that my boys can do that by hand.” The first few days of this project have gone smoothly and David, their medical examiner, seems happy with their precautions.

Gordon mentions “with all the precautions we’re taking, and while we’ve certainly had our fair share of lookie-loos, there’s not been any sign of the protestors you were so concerned about stirring up. I guess it helps that no-one’s been buried here for over a hundred years, so it’s not like we’re pulling up granddad. The sailors sleeping here haven’t seen mourners since Queen Vic.” I think Gordon raising the possibility that there could be protestors is interesting. I wonder if it’s simply the fact that people might be upset at the destruction of these graves or if there’s some other reason? For example, someone might see it as an important historical site or maybe they view this project as harming the environment in some way? If you want a more supernatural reason, it could be that someone is afraid that disturbing the site could anger someone / something?

Gordon gets more personal and talks about how this job means a lot to them. They say “I know we can’t have been the cheapest company to put in a bid, but as local lads we’ve been coming to this graveyard all our lives (even if just to sneak some booze as stupid teenagers), and now that the cliff’s finally giving up the ghost (if you’ll pardon the pun), it feels right for us to be the ones taking it apart.” I looked up the phrase “giving up the ghost” and it seems like it can refer to “to stop trying to do something because you know that you will not succeed.”

Gordon says they’ll get back to Alison when the job is done but they send an email earlier than expected due to some unforeseen circumstances, and apparently David told Gordon to update Alison on the circumstances despite the fact that Gordon thinks it shouldn’t throw off their current schedule. They encountered some human remains that seem like they are in quite good condition. “...for context, the containers they’re buried in are of really varied quality. I’d say just under half were buried in decent coffins that are still in good enough shape to remove and transport unopened. For others though, the wood has rotted to the point where it’s pretty much impossible to keep the boxes together and some were just wrapped in oil cloth. This means we’re seeing, touching and moving a lot of human remains directly. Don’t worry, this isn’t about a health and safety thing – we have all the right gear and David’s making sure we follow procedure. It’s just that one of the graves had a body in that was too well-preserved for the age it should have been. Or at least, most of the skin was in extremely good condition. The back was completely covered in this complicated tattoo of a ship sailing across an open sea towards an open horizon. It was really impressive.” Take note of the tattoo since this isn’t the first time we’ve encountered a complex and very visually impressive tattoo in TMP and it’s going to come up again in this very episode.

David says that they need a second opinion and some tests since if the bodies have been buried more recently than 1908 it would mean that the cemetery is technically a crime scene for legal reasons. Gordon also mentions that the graves have been getting to him with “I’ll be honest though, I’m glad of the break. Taking up all these graves is starting to get to me a bit. I almost feel sorry for doing it. The waves are so close and getting closer. If I were a sailor buried here, I’d take some comfort in that. As you can see I’m getting morbid. Short break will do us all some good I think. Will update you when I hear word.” These feelings seem like they could relate to either The Vast, The Buried, or The End with the themes of coffins and being buried in a grave potentially tying into The Buried or End but the vast ocean possibly connecting to The Vast. But let’s keep going.

David starts acting weird and Gordon asks Alison to give David a nudge for the sake of the project. “He’s still working on that body we found and he’s stopped responding to my emails. I got him on the phone, but to be honest he doesn’t sound like he’s in any real rush to complete the job and while he’s worrying about salt water and tattoos, we’re out here sat on our hands and I’m paying the lads by the day. It’s almost enough to make you dream of sailing away for real. Like that poor fella’s tattoo. Saying that, I had another look at the photos David attached and I’m starting to think I might have been wrong about it. When I first looked, I thought it was hopeful, a crew sailing towards the sunrise. But looking again, the sun is lower than I thought, and there’s a shape in the water behind the ship. I think they’re being chased by something. Creepy eh?” So Gordon’s dream of sailing away could potentially point to The Lonely, especially given that the Entity also has a connection to the ocean and ships with Peter Lukas and the Tundra, but the whole being chased could relate to The Hunt. While Entities do chase things all the time I could see the fear of sharks or some large sea creature attempting to chase you as potentially relating to The Hunt. However, it could also potentially relate to The Vast with the idea of something massive lurking in the water, like a kraken or whale. There’s also an argument for something like The Dark with something emerging in the night as the sun sets. Well, assuming that the sun in the tattoo is setting and not rising.

And here’s where the tattoo thing comes up again. Gordon says “Oh, and speaking of tattoos, you remember you wanted an update on local sentiment about the move? Well, I don’t know if this counts as resistance – hell, I don’t even know if they’re local – but there’s someone started poking around the site asking questions. Big snake tattoo up their arm and a bunch of other ink. Wouldn’t give their name, but claims to be a big deal “online”. Don’t really know what that means, but they’ve been asking questions about the body.” The person with the “big snake tattoo” up their arm has a description that almost perfectly matches Ink5 from episode 2 (Making Adjustments). When Daria describes Ink5oul (Pronounced Inksoul) she notes that they had “an absolutely gorgeous floral serpent design running up their arm and into their neck that was so vivid it looked ready to slither off their skin and onto the chair.” It’s clear that Ink5 probably has an interest in tattoos, like the one Gordon saw on the body. This person also mentions that they are a big deal online, which would be true if this is Ink5 since we know that Ink5 is a famous tattoo artist online and even does streams. This could even explain why the person in question didn’t give their name since if it was Ink5 we are only aware of their online username. Gordon even mentions that Ink5 said “...the tattoo is an “Oscar Jarrett”, and that’s a big deal to some folks in that community – something to with Sutherland Macdonald whoever that is. Dunno if that’s quite what you were worried about but thought you’d want to know.”

`I did some light research and Oscar Jarrett doesn’t seem like a style or type of tattoo. Which points to the idea that Oscar is a person. Considering all the tattoos we are saying Oscar might be comparable to Smirke in some ways. In the sense that in the same way there was special Smirkean architecture there could be special Jarettian tattoos if that makes any sense. Tattoos that are designed to have supernatural effects of some kind. It’s also possible that Oscar simply learned and taught some kind of supernatural technique, kind of like the techniques that The Boneturner’s Tale could grant someone in TMA or how Martin sort of ended up learning how to “disappear” by following Peter Lukas’ attempt to connect him to The Lonely. Oscar Jarrett and Ink5 are definitely people to look out for in the future. Sutherland Macdonald surprisingly did yield actual search results. He is apparently “a prominent English tattoo artist in the late 19th century and early 20th century, and the first tattooist in Britain with an identifiable premises open to the public.” This makes Sutherland notable for the same reason someone like Smirke might have been in TMA. A historical figure who somehow learned and / or spread knowledge about the Entities. Again, it’s possible that there are Macdonald style tattoos in the same way there is Smirke style architecture. It could also be that the Oscar Ink5 is referring to is in fact the body with the tattoo that Gordon found and Gordon just doesn’t know what they are referring to. It could also be that there are multiple tattoo artists or Oscar is some student or follower of Sutherland in the same way people like Jonah, Maxwell Rayner, and Mordechai Lukas all had a connection to Smirke via being students or associates. In some characters even explicitly got the idea of possible rituals from Smirke and his research, despite the fact that most weren’t concerned with Smirke’s ideals of balancing the Powers.

Gordon considers calling the police on Ink5 due to how much the tattoo artist seems to be creeping Gordon and their team out but Gordon decides not to as to avoid potential backlash from the public. Gordon’s next email involves him giving condolences in regards to David, which implies that the reason he was taking so long with the reports was due to an untimely death at some point. I wonder if David’s death was related to something he came across on the bodies? It could be that there was some artifact or one of the bodies was actually alive? It could also be that if something is indeed up with the tattoos then the tattoos themselves may have had some sort of effect on David? Did Ink5 kill David? Was David the person Mr. Bonzo was sent to target in order to create some sort of opening for Ink5?

Gordon apologizes for the perceived unprofessionalism and says “My thoughts and opinions on maritime matters will no longer be included in my emails. In addition, I should be most grateful if you could see fit to provide myself with appropriate authorisations to contact the medical examiner’s offices to follow up with the cadaver that has been causing such consternation.” Based on Gordon’s next email it seems like Alison thought Gordon was making fun of them or acting condescending since Gordie states “Look, I was not “making fun of you” but I’m not sure what you want. I’m emailing an employer about my work and am getting accused of my emails being “unprofessional”. That’s the best I can manage. I haven’t been sleeping much recently. Weird dreams. Shapes in the water and that. And before you say that it’s “unprofessional” to tell you that I’m just giving an explanation, That’s all. I need you to contact the examiner again, he’s dragging his feet. Besides, I want to see the body again. I dug him up, he’s my responsibility. I just need to see it. I need to know what’s in the water.” Considering the possible change in behavior I wonder if Alison encountered something that made them scared and afraid of people not taking them seriously. I wouldn’t be surprised if Alison and / or David get their own statements in the future.

Gordon also mentions a lack of sleep due to “Weird dreams. Shapes in the water and that.” and also mentions “Besides, I want to see the body again. I dug him up, he’s my responsibility. I just need to see it. I need to know what’s in the water.” This desire to know and see something actually parallels an Entity like The Eye. The Eye, as I end up saying in every article, isn’t merely the fear of being watched but also being the watcher or seeing something you don’t want to. In MAG 200 The Eye is mentioned as having been born from the fear of one’s eyes showing them too much, and Gertrude mentions that The Eye is connected to a desire to know and understand even if in trying to do so you get hurt in the process. These themes also explain why Jonah can force information into the heads of people like Melanie and Martin. It’s the idea of knowing too much or being forced to witness things. Due to this The Eye also has a connection to, and tendency for cultivating, curiosity. Jonah mentions doing so to Jon with certain statements and we know he purposefully left files and information out to stoke Rosie’s more “nosy” personality traits. The Institute itself also sort of acts like bait for The Eye by attracting people looking for answers or closure via the information in its Archives or statements. Jon can also force people to give statements and thus make them relive and recount terrible events so that he can listen to them.

I’m bringing this up now because while I don’t think that what Gordon is going through is connected to The Eye the themes I am talking about will come up later anyway. Entities like The Eye also like to try to prey on the curiosity of people. I’m not saying Gordon is unjustified in being curious (even if I do find some of the behavior obviously strange) but that certain Entities have a precedent for preying on certain emotions or behaviors (like the desire to chase for The Hunt or anger for The Slaughter. No matter how justified that behavior may or may not be doesn’t always matter). You could also potentially relate some other parts of the statement to themes of The Eye. Most notably, the fear that protestors or other people might be observing the dig site, and the fear of being judged by the public. You could even point to Gordon sharing “too much” info to Alison with all the weird thoughts he’s having. Well, Alison seems to not like it, I’m not trying to say Gordon is crossing any sort of technical line or is even unjustified.

Gordon’s next email is titled “Examiner’s office break in” and Gordon insists that it was not him who broke into the examiner’s office and that Ink5 did it. “I saw them hanging around the office when I was waiting. Waiting so long just to see it, just to know what’s in the water. And they took it. They think they’re smart, but I saw them I know where they’re staying and if they think they deserve it they’re wrong. It belongs to the deep. I’m going to go get it and I’m going to find it and if they try and stop me I swear the ocean will claim us all. I can taste the salt and spray. It’s waiting in the water.” Once again a desire to know what’s in the water and the fact that Gordon is defensive of the idea that they might have broken into the office shows that Gordon is afraid what they said earlier about wanting to obtain the bodies might paint them as a suspect. The statement ends with

To: Alison Leshi ([email protected]) 

From: Gordon J ([email protected]) 

Date: January 20th 2020. 

Subject: Re: Re: Examiner’s office 

break-in 

There was a problem delivering your 

message to “[email protected]”

This email address is no longer in 

service.

This statement is a little interesting because it feels like a lot of the stuff is more passive or in the background. For example, while Gordon is perturbed, Ink5 doesn’t attack or tattoo them directly. Gordon’s thoughts and feelings about the water could connect to various Entities. Most notably, all the water stuff could connect to the Vast, Buried, or Lonely. All 3 of these Entities have a notable connection to either water or the ocean. The Vast via the fear of large things with the immensity of the ocean as well as the things the could be in it, The Buried with the feeling of drowning or being trapped / crushed underwater, and The Lonely via boating and how isolated being alone on the open ocean can make you. Gordon’s desire to sail away could relate to The Lonely or The Vast while his comment about wanting to be Buried in the graveyard could be connected to well… The Buried. Not to mention his desire to put the supposed corpse back where it belongs, in the grave, could also relate to The Buried.

If I had to pick the most likely Entities here I would argue The Buried and Vast. If I had to chose between the two I would have to say the Buried. The Vast does have an emphasis on the depp ocean, and Simon Fairchild even attempted to perform a ritual using a submarine and the deep ocean, but Gordon’s desire to bury the bodies seems at least somewhat similar to Hezekiah Wakely in MAG 152 (A Gravedigger’s Entity) and his desire to make sure that people stay in their graves. In the statement Hezekiah mentions “To my mind there are far worse fates. But he has in his head an idea to begin fitting the graves I dig with these new “safety bells” that he has heard of, so that any as might be alive below ground might signal us above for rescue. I dread the idea. If it had been me in that coffin, destined for the peace below ground, I can think of little that I would hate more than the jarring, clanging of a bell pulling me from my rest.” and he also mentions weird dreams with “I had a dream, then. I dreamt a rain had come. A terrible bitter rain that chilled my bones and turned the soil around me dark and sodden. The walls grew damp and slippery, their firm shape lost as they began to slip and crumble. And then all at once they collapsed, the grave filling in a moment with a wave of mud and wet dirt. In a single terrible moment of utter terror, it was atop and around me, covering my face and filling my lungs with its awful choking sod.”

While the emphasis on the deep could easily relate to The Vast, one of The Buried’s nicknames is actually “Forever Deep Below.” So someone referring The Buried as “The Deep” or something similar would not be without precedent, especially given its connection to drowning, being trapped underwater, and deep water in general. Gordon also says “It belongs to the deep. I’m going to go get it and I’m going to find it and if they try and stop me I swear the ocean will claim us all. I can taste the salt and spray.” which could imply that in a way they believe the ocean will bury everything. You could easily relate some of this to The Vast with the idea that the ocean has existed longer and will outlast the erosion of the land.

One part I actually really liked in TMA, despite how little it came up overall, is all the different names people would use to refer to the same Entity(s). So I wonder if, assuming the existing Entities are around in some capacity, Entities like The Buried will be referred to with different names in the Protocol universe. It wouldn’t surprise me if people started referring to an Entity like The Buried as “The Deep” for example due to the idea of being trapped deep underground or in the ocean.

Like always, there are some overlapping themes that seem similar to other Entities. The tattoo possibly depicting sailors getting chased could relate to The Hunt, I already mentioned some possibilities with The Eye, and the emphasis on graves, and dead bodies could parallel The End.

Ink5's appearance in this statement is forcing me to consider some things. I maintain that the statement in episode 2 screams “This is The Flesh”, or at least something similar to that Entity, and I believed Ink5 to be connected to The Flesh. But I remember someone also raising the idea that the effects of Ink5 tattoos could vary, which I considered a very likely possibility since Ink5 doesn’t start tattooing until they are inspired by Daria mentioning that they are an artist. Implying that Ink5 was working off of inspiration and what they make and potentially even the effects of the tattoos could vary from person to person. If this is true that could mean Ink5 is more like Smirke and isn’t directly connected to (or loyal to) a single Entity, or Ink5 could be connected to multiple Entities somehow. Maybe the specific tattoo they gave Daria was connected to The Flesh in the same way Smirke’s architecture was connected to the Entities in a way Smirke himself wasn’t always. It’s still very possible that Ink5 somehow is connected to The Flesh but is also capable of interacting with aspects of other Entities somehow.

We cut back to the OIAR office and Sam also notices the topic of tattoos having come up again and asks Alice if there is a way to cross reference cases.

ALICE 

“And? You already know the page to check the scores.”

SAM 

“Yeah… but I just thought it might be worth noting somewhere that they might be linked. There’s this tattooist, and I think they might be”

ALICE 

“What have I told you about thinking?”

SAM 

“Don’t?” 

ALICE 

“That’s right.” Alice sighs.

ALICE 

“(cont.) I don’t think there’s any way to mark cases as connected. They all come in standalone, that’s just how it works.”

Once again Alice’s whole “don’t think about it” vibe. I would argue the whole idea of “ignorance is bliss” and how knowing too much can hurt or scare you often relates to The Eye. I would argue that the OIAR or the computers are probably connected to The Eye, given all the statements and other stuff I mentioned previously, but I’m not saying Alice or Sam are secret Eye Avatars or something. What I'm trying to say is that The Eye likes to prey on certain behaviors, such as curiosity or a desire for answers, and Alice and Sam might have these traits. We know, for example, that Jon and Tim both ended up at the Institute because they were looking for answers about an encounter they had previously. 

Alice sighing and then proceeding to honestly indulge Sam’s question is interesting and I think is another implication that Alice is probably more curious than she lets on. Realistically, she has probably been burned from having a similar mindset to Sam or seeing someone else asking too many questions but she consistently ends up indulging Sam’s curiosity or giving honest answers anyway, instead of simply shutting it down and moving on. There have also been times where Alice is noted as listening to something in the transcripts “despite herself.” Implying that sometimes she can’t help herself or her curiosity gets the better of her.

All the cases being sent in standalone sort of parallels the Institute in TMA and how disorganized the Archives were when Jon was using them (due to Gertrude). Even in TMA the statements would sometimes have recurring characters but they weren’t organized by topic or people involved in the case. The most we tend to get about the organization system of the statements is that it’s usually just sorted by date (which could be confusing if two statements have the same date) and sometimes follow-ups on cases were performed for more info and context. So obtuse organization systems that make it harder to connect various details or events aren’t unusual for TMA.

I also once again have to wonder if Sam is being shown certain events on purpose in order to stoke his curiosity or to get him to do certain things. I find the idea that literally every statement is random to be dubious but that doesn’t mean literally every statement is handpicked. Which makes me wonder, once again, what Sam and co’s jobs are meant to accomplish. Are they just supposed to be “an archive of fear” and witness terrible events or someone someone / something doing anything with the information or statements they are given or categorize?

Gwen enters the room and she seems to be in pretty bad shape since Alice says “Christ on a peddlebike, what happened to you?” and Gwen says “(setting up at her desk) Tube was delayed. Points failure.” Gwen also mentions that she had trouble sleeping, but Alice doesn’t seem to waste any time making fun of Gwen despite Gwen’s sorry state. Alice doesn’t seem to spare Gwen any of the concern she has shown characters like Sam and Colin. Sam tries to get Alice to ease up on Gwen but Alice doesn’t seem to let off the ribbing. Gwen eventually notices the third coffee Alice had gotten for Celia but mistakenly assumes that the third cup of coffee was for her.

GWEN 

“(cont’d) (surprised) Hang on, did you get me a coffee?” 

ALICE 

“Uhh… 

SAM 

“Yeah. You like mocha?” 

GWEN 

“Yes. She takes the coffee carefully.’ 

GWEN 

“Thank you, Alice.’ 

ALICE 

“I… Sure. Whatever. Don’t get used to it. A slightly awkward silence.’

This interaction makes me wonder about some of the aspects of their relationship. Celia bursts into the room and Gwen grills her for being late (despite the irony of Gwen herself running late).

CELIA

“Sorry, sorry! I know, I know – there was an emergency at home I had to I’m sorry I’m late!”

GWEN

“Do you have any idea what the time is?”

ALICE

“I’m sorry, are you joking right now?”

GWEN

“I have responsibilities now, Alice. I need more of an explanation than just a “home emergency”.”

ALICE

“You arrived literally one minute ago!”

GWEN

“And I gave a full explanation for my lateness. Which, I might add, I didn’t actually need to do for a subordinate.’

CELIA

“It’s fine really’

ALICE

“No, it’s not. You don’t owe her anything! In fact, you should take her coffee as reparation.’

CELIA

“One of my radiators sprung a leak and flooded the lounge.’

GWEN

“I see. Well that’s understandable but don’t let’s make a habit of it shall we?”

CELIA

“Of course.’

GWEN

“See, that wasn’t so painful, was it Alice?’

Alice takes a breath for a devastating putdown.

SAM

“Let it go.”

ALICE 

exhales and sips her coffee instead.

GWEN

“Luckily, I don’t think Lena’s noticed, so you should be ok. She’s not as laid back as I am.”

Alice chokes a little.

CELIA

“Good to know.”

GWEN

“Great, well if that’s everything you all really should get to work otherwise you’ll never get out of here. Don’t let me keep you.”

ALICE

“(muttered) I’d like to see you try…”

GWEN

“(already departing) I’ll be in Lena’s office if you need me. She walks off.”

CELIA

“You ok, Alice? It honestly doesn’t bother me.”

ALICE

“I can’t believe she drank your mocha!”

So it kind of seems like Gwen is immediately letting her new promotion go to her head a bit and has already taken the role of a stern boss. However, based on Gwen’s reaction when talking with Lena later and how shaken she is from Mr. Bonzo, it’s very likely that this is Gwen’s way of coping or trying to deal with stress and fear (not that it’s at all healthy). Gwen’s behavior seems to rub Alice the wrong way, especially since it easily comes off as hypocritical since Gwen was also running late. The only difference being that Gwen is now Celia’s superior. This whole situation makes me wonder if any particular person is specifically at fault for Gwen and Alice’s sour relationship. Sure, Alice does come off as extremely mean to Gwen but I wonder if Gwen did something in particular, tried to strong arm Alice, or something else.

Gwen does appreciate the hypothetical gesture of Alice buying her coffee and it’s weird that despite all their bickering Gwen seems to immediately assume that the fact the coffee is for her and from Alice is a likely possibility. I wonder if Gwen has a different view of their relationship or just doesn’t care? In a previous episode Gwen mentions that Alice left “talkers” on to mess with her but I wonder if Alice simply left the statements running so she wouldn’t have to listen to the voices talking and Gwen merely assumed it had to do with her. This could point to the possibility that Gwen has a bad habit of assuming things are about her sometimes or even being a bit self-centered but I’m not sure. It is still possible Alice did in fact leave talkers to mess with her. I wonder if they had a more amicable relationship in the past? I also if Gwen does genuinely think of herself as being more lenient or forgiving than Lena and, by extension, sees herself as tossing Celia a bone.

Gwen leaves the others to their work and goes to talk with Lena. Gwen is clearly upset by her encounter with Mr. Bonzo. Gwen insists that the thing she saw couldn’t have been Mr. Bonzo because Bonzo is just a character played by a guy in a suit. Not to mention that the Mr. Bonzo at Nigel’s house apparently had skin, and appeared both sagging and sweaty. Lena assures Gwen that this was in fact Mr. Bonzo by saying “...He is one of our Externals” and “I’ll grant you that Mr. Bonzo is one of our more… obviously grotesque Externals but I assure he is a valued asset.” This implies that not all the Externals the OIAR works with are as monstrous as Mr. Bonzo. Which could mean that the organization works with various Avatars and Monsters, or at least some of the Monsters they do work with are more humanoid (similar to how the Distortion took on the appearance and personalities of people like Michael and Helen).

GWEN

I thought he was going to kill me!

LENA

“But he didn’t, which means you’ve passed the first part of your probation. Congratulations. Did you scream?”

GWEN

“What? No!”

LENA

“You should. It really helps one cope with the more affronting aspects of the job. And they usually like it.”

GWEN

“What was in that envelope I gave him?”

LENA

“A name and an address.”

GWEN

“But for who?”

LENA

“I’m sure you’ve already worked that out. But just in case you haven’t, keep an eye on the case loads over the next few days. It should become abundantly clear.”

GWEN

“I don’t understand.”

LENA

“Yes, you do.”

GWEN

“But… why?”

LENA

““Why” comes later. For now, it’s best you try to process the “what”. I’ll let you know when I have another liaison assignment for you.”

GWEN

“(defeated) I… Ok.”

Gwen opens the door.

LENA

“Oh, and Gwen?”

GWEN

“Yes?”

LENA

“Get some sleep. You look dreadful. Gwen closes the door.”

So here, Lena outright admits that Gwen could’ve died. Last episode I wondered if Nigel apologized to Gwen in case Gwen ended up hurt or killed. Lena’s comment about screaming confirms once again that the Entities are probably still feeding off of fear. We know from TMA that while a lack of fear can keep you safe, displaying fear only for it to wane overtime can cause the Entities followers or monsters to get bored or unsatisfied and just attack you directly if they know that doing so will make you scared.

The fact that Lena says that Gwen should know who’s address and name was in the letter given to Bonzo makes me wonder. It’s possible Lena knows that Gwen simply checked the letter out of curiosity or came across some statement with clues. It’s also possible that at least some of the statements the OIAR gets are somehow related to the organization’s Externals. Lena even says “I’m sure you’ve already worked that out. But just in case you haven’t, keep an eye on the case loads over the next few days. It should become abundantly clear.” Which could imply that at least some of the statements Gwen and her coworkers (I mean subordinates) sift through could have to do with the OIAR’s externals. Maybe it’s the OIAR’s way of following up on their agents or checking the results of their assignments? Or maybe it’s how the OIAR decides where and when to send their Externals? It could also just be The Eye feeding off of the fear present in statements again (something we know it’s prone to do). It could be that the Externals do their job and The Eye or some other Entity squeezes some extra fear out of what they do by archiving things related to the job. Is the OIAR working with others to try to start another mass ritual, or is it trying to stop possible rituals? Maybe their goal has something to do with some of the alchemical symbols present in TMP (such as the logo)?

Lena comes off as extremely cold in this interaction and it’s clear that Lena’s earlier assessment of Gwen might be right, Gwen is not at all prepared for this and doesn’t exactly know what she’s getting into. But this also makes me wonder what happened to the previous Externals Liaison. Did they die? Did they get promoted / demoted? Are there other Liaisons Gwen hasn’t met yet? If there aren’t who was communicating with things like Mr. Bonzo before Gwen took the position? Was Lena just delivering the letters herself? As always, there’s a lot of questions.

Conclusion

There’s a lot of stuff up in the air but currently whatever is going on with the Externals has grabbed my curiosity the most. Mostly in regards to what they could be doing and why. Is Ink5 an External? Was Mr. Bonzo sent to take care of David to make an opening for Ink5 or was Mr. Bonzo sent somewhere else that will show up in a later statement? Most of the stuff I say are possibilities I’m raising but my current guesses about what’s going on are 1. Smirke’s 14 is still around in some capacity (The Extinction could be too, but there’s no evidence one way or the other for that Entity being around) and these Entities are probably the same ones from TMA (if not they are extraordinarily similar) 2. Celia is probably from the TMA universe or at least has some connection to it 3. The OIAR is probably connected to an Entity like The Eye 4. For whatever reason the OIAR (and potentially other parts of the government) are working with various factions tied to the Entities. Whether they are using these monsters and people to fight more dangerous threats or for some other reason I cannot say. Maybe they are trying to set up a new ritual where all the Entities hold equal power? Or maybe they are actually trying to stop future rituals / threats? Who knows.

#TMA #TMAGP #The Magnus Archives #The Magnus Protocol #Theory

[kusokurae01]

y’know, I somewhat recall you saying you had your own J&H adaptation, Any fun facts about it itself or J&H? (You give me asks I’ll give you one right back)

Hello, although I only have the 0,1% completed which is like, a summary of eight/nine months of work, I am still very excited to share my little alternative universe; it takes inspiration from many other adaptations, mainly the musical and The Glass Scientists. A lot of things are placeholders for something bigger and completely original, and it's supposed to blend with actual history, meaning that in some way it is historically accurate at some extent, considering I am making extensive researches about the Victorian Era and how it works, with the help of books and articles online. It's quite hard to make it 100% accurate of course, but most Jekyll and Hyde adaptations tend to ignore the fact that this is set in a very specific period of time, and they also tend to focus more on which character sucks the most dicks rather than the original message(s) of the novella. I don't like stories which solely focus on the characters being queer and that's clear, and while LGBTQ+ is included in Apotheosis, that doesn't mean that its the main focus; sure, it is talked about, but it's a part of the story and not the main story. I'm not saying that there should be a correct way of writing adaptations, but rather, that the world should feel alive and dynamic. It is important to establish worldbuilding, and make it a present part of the story, because it SHAPES the characters. I think that whilst you do not need a degree in history to write about J&H or the victorian era, it's important to know at least the basics of how the society worked, the advancements and how they affected society, etc.

Now, the victorian era is quite interesting when it comes to progress. In 1879 the first psychology laboratory was established in Germany, and many other advances in medicine were made, there were the first feminist movements, the two industrial revolutions (second in 1870-1914), what I'm trying to say is that the 19th century is a very important period of our time, at least for eurocentric history, and it's so curious to think how some of these inventions are just two centuries old. Not to mention that by 1888, the Bloody Code (which was how the severe law system of England was called, which focused on social punishment rather than rehabilitation, and the death penalty was very common even for lesser crimes by public execution) had been largely replaced and the death penalty wasn't in use anymore. The world was changing and advancing, and what does that mean for the most conservative classes, especially those who were in high favor to such horrible practices, especially when towards the lower and most despised classes? What does it mean for the poor and ostracized, especially considering the precarious conditions of orphanages, poorhouses and such? Fun fact: this was one of the battles the Crown itself, or rather, Queen Victoria, as a woman and mother, advocated for this, especially when most of its components were children, which were there for various reasons. And what about the emerging middle classes, the so despised noveau nobillty?

Medicine was both revered and feared, because while advancements were made in medical science, many treatments were still primitive and often painful. Additionally, the lack of understanding about germs and proper sanitation led to high mortality rates in hospitals, contributing to a general fear and distrust of medical practices among the public; not to mention that writers were starting to talk about the dangers of medicine (ex. Frankenstein), not to mention that there was the Royal Society that, while it promoted scientific inquiry, knowledge and collaboration, it certainly would've found itself debating about the inclusion of rogue science as effectively, a science.

It is important to know the rest of the hystorical context in which Apotheosis finds itself in, which is that of a very important migration of citizens from Ireland to London (including jews who were fleeing from the pogroms, popular riots against religious minorities which were happening in the Russian Empire), and all of them gathered in the East End of London, where Whitechapel was. It didn't take long for overpopulation (which was already a recurring issue in London) to happen, and for Whitechapel to be redeemed a generally unsafe place like all the other slums, not to mention all the popular disorders and the increase of violent repression from the London Metropolitan Police (ex. Bloody Sunday, which caused at least two deaths, it was basically a manifestation in which the Social Democratic Federation advocated for the end of unemployment, better working conditions and a right to vote for all adult men, other than supporting the Irish National League against the oppression the british were putting them through); it's in this context, that from august-november of 1888, Jack the Ripper terrifies London; 16 are the suspected victims, 5 the ones which had been confirmed, but what if I told you that there is actually more to this tale, when people thought that the Ripper was still amongst them due to how ineffective the police system was at the time, and that some murders associated with him weren't actually the Ripper's doing?

General Lord Glossop, a member of the council which oversees the Royal Society, was found dead after attending the funeral of His Grace, the Bishop of Basingstoke. The body was found the next morning, January 1889; the method of killing appeared to be strangulation as confirmed by trained medical professionals. This was the second governor who happened to die under mysterious circumstances which, were associated with the Ripper itself, as the methods were basically the same. On December 1888, the body of an unidentified underage prostitute and the terribly mutilated corpse of His Grace, the Bishop of Basingstoke, were found in the streets of a London slum, following the same criteria of that which seemed to reflect that of Jack the Ripper.

A member of the Marchetti family, Miss. Maia Marchetti, requested an immediate revision of the autopsies to prove that the killer wasn't Jack The Ripper, but rather another unnamed man who yet had to be caught; she founded her thesis on the two, crucial facts that the murderer had only ever killed members of the aristocracy and one single prostitute for the sole fact that she could've potentially acted as a witness for the case, and there wasn't any fury exhibited towards her corpse, and Thomas Bond (profilier of Jack The Ripper) stated that the Ripper didn't have any anatomical knowledge, and the body appeared to have been mutilated with such a precision which could only belong to those with a great anatomical knowledge, possibly a doctor.

On another note, she had managed to gather ten prostitutes together, who worked in the same zones where the homicides happened, to declare in a written letter to Scotland Yard, that an unknown, violent and unpleasant man with an odd fascination with sadomasochism, had been with them. However, this request was denied, and the letter archieved, until the inspector on the case Scott Newcomen presented the same thesis, thus obtaining a revised autopsy report, this time conducted by Dr. Hastie Lanyon, who brought some interesting discoveries to the table. It is important to note to the case that, the two men had died because of a basilar skull fracture, while the prostitute seemed to truly have died because of strangulation, like it had already been ascertained.

Due to the sheer brutality of the murders and the fact that they involved members of the aristocracy, the media was following this case with great attention, and reporting on it extensively (and of course great pressure was put on the authorities to solve the crimes quickly). Considering that this man happened to principally target members of the upper classes who had a significant role in society, save if there were any eye-witnesses, speculations that these might be murders made for socio-politic reasons committed by a member of the lower classes, seeing the location and circumstances, caused heightened tensions between social classes.

Other members of the council, such as Lady Beaconsfield and Sir Archibald Proops, perished under the same circumstances. An interesting parallelism is that many unreliable letters were sent to Scotland Yard and to Central News Agency; some were written by well-intentioned citizens, providing information towards the capture of the killer; however, the majority of them were deemed useless and consequently ignored. Hundreds of letters were written by people claiming to be the killer, and although this letter wasn't redeemed important and considered a fake, and consequently scrapped, a letter had been signed with the name Edward Hyde. And that's how people started to identify the man. Another letter described the man as someone who had a rancid aura around him, with an area of deformity which couldn't be quite explained by any actual malformations; he had long, golden locks. And unfortunately, these were the only small details which also happened to have been confirmed in the first letters those ten prostitutes wrote. A first rough identi-kit and criminal profile was made by Dr. Hastie Lanyon.

The slayings were the handiwork of a solitary individual, a robust young man aged between eighteen and twenty-three, possessed of a brazen yet unflappable demeanor, bearing obscure physical anomalies difficult to discern. Though yet too youthful to grace the circles of high society, Edward Hyde presented himself in attire befitting a gentleman of esteem, maintaining habitual visits to dens of iniquity, whilst displaying a remarkable acumen in matters anatomical, suggestive of a scholarly pursuit, perhaps that of the medical sciences.

The fact that it was clearly a member of the aristocracy seemingly fell deaf to the ears of the media, which constantly sidetracked the police investigations, misleading them and accusing innocents of being Edward Hyde and fabricating evidence with the excuse of pursuing justice, when in reality this just caused more social disadvantages and disorders which ended with popular uprisings; an interesting phenomenon to note, is that of many women sent romantic letters to those who were suspected to be Edward Hyde, and many visited the locations in which the murders happened in hopes of meeting the Prince of Disaster.

#.txt #the strange case of dr jekyll and mr hyde #jekyll and hyde

[ratwavegamehouse]

Doing work on This is Your Lifepath season 2 has got me thinking about lists of inspirations again. So I rounded up some lists in upcoming projects.

(Ritual Magic for Besties isn't here as its bibliography is fairly short and more explanatory rather than list-y, also like it comes out later this month so you can just wait)

PSYCHODUNGEON

The games listed are primarily about mechanical influence (which is why they're mostly a very large slice of Belonging outside Belonging games). Big exceptions are Subway Runner and DD.TV which are both there for post-dungeon fantasy influence. ACWtM is there for the influence on the asymmetric roles, which are a divergence from how BoB setting elements tend to work, and so my own Fear the Taste of Blood is there because working on that is how I understood that element better.

Probably should clarify Moonstruck is the comic (as like loose setting influence) rather than the film (which bangs but doesn't relate much to PSYCHODUNGEON).

NHSmackdown is a wrestling/performance art show by a friend of mine which was focused on being a nurse. The influence is in how it got me reflecting on being trapped in job which is nominally doing good but isn't protecting you and is honestly actively harming you.

Nemesis Revealed

Nemesis Revealed is a storytelling game of great rivals, where you play someone's nemesis, their dark counterpart and follow their story. It has multiple playsets which frame a different hero to create your nemesis in opposition to.

So the game influences are either in mechanics or in the structure of a book basically. Whereas the other section primarily focuses on specific influences for different playsets (there's a sort of conventional street level superhero, a gender-twisty tokusatsu inspired story, as well as strange space knights and near-distant future mecha crews). It's a scattershot and probably reads very opaque without context (I think that's how all my bibliography lists look which is probably why I place them at the back, where a reader will find them already armed with context, rather than at the start as a taste setter).

Transgender Deathmatch Legend II: Grand Slam

TDL2 actually has two separate lists. There's a traditional bibliography. I referenced my own work I've drawn on because it seems honest. Fox in the Forest is there for influencing the original mechanic. Hieronymus influenced how i wanted the shape of the book to be. Stealing the Throne influenced some non-fighting mechanics.

The other references are more for how they influenced specific scenarios (like one is loosely Raid inspired but turned into smashing up a GIC, while another is a direct Warriors-riff).

I included the Party of One episode i did cause it helped clarify how i felt about the game. British lads hitting each other with chairs is there because it's a mood.

Sh!t Theatre Drink Rum with Expats was a fringe theatre show I did set up for and it ended up influenced the content of a work-in-progress show I did called Crossface (which was a wrestling inspired character comedy performance drama). Some of the content for Crossface has been recycled into some personal essays I have in the book. So paying tribute to that root felt important.

But before that section TDL also has a Recommended Reading list. It's mainly stuff that I think conveys what's enjoyable about wrestling. I wouldn't say everything was a direct inspiration, but if you read the book and played the game and wanted to know more about wrestling; there's a little roadmap in the book.

(Though being serious this appendix is obviously super subject to change before release if anything horrific comes out about anyone featured, obviously the danger in recommending any wrestling tbh)

#game design #indie ttrpg #ttrpg #is this a preview of any of these games? #I have no idea #but hey maybe it gets you excited #even just to understand why this shit is there #time flies doesn't have a full list yet because the game still has a lot more writing to go #so anything i could share would be incomplete and i don't think a useful glimpse

[modrew71extra]

Right, never thought I had to make one of these callouts in my entire time of using social media, but unfortunately due to the seriousness of the subject matter at hand, I have to get this out here to prevent more people being mislead.

Now for a lot of people who follow artist Tumblr might be aware of this one thread circulating in regards to people using Glaze & Nightshade in response to the recent updates made to Tumblr's data services. With the posting in question, @ reachartwork discouraging use of it and presenting an argument for it.

Now unlike most other people, I can tell how off their argument is as it lacked the nuance of how these programs worked and talked about it in a way that came off more enthusiastic, despite their claims of having sympathies people trying to protect themselves.

It's only until I took one little look at their blog and knew what was up, and their later behaviour proved my suspicions.

Now to get this right off the bat, I do apologise for whatever misgendering I exhibited as I didn't notice that about them, nor am I justifying this callout to harass them.

So please don't

Rather, it's to be weary of this user, and how you really shouldn't be sleeping on these programs.

Now as the original featured, it went out in presenting their argument as followed:

As you can notice in the thread, it's providing very little evidence of their findings of its supposed workings without proper sources, while trying to show ways to work around it (again, enthusiastically mind you).

And yet as you notice, they didn't bother providing an alternative way to combat this scalping situation everyone is in, especially with how replies have been of users expressing their grievances over this.

You'll think that maybe you should have added something to help others or worded themselves in a more sympathetic manner?

But that's when I checked into their profile and knew what seems to be up,

They're into this tech.

I knew this was clear propaganda, why would somebody who is invested into generative tech try and discourage methods in protecting others of data scalping?

Like I'm sorry but you can't be somebody who claims to be sympathetic about the whole power imbalance this whole field is causing, yet enthusiastically be into this tech. Those mixture of ideologies just do not match.

There's no such thing as "ethical AI use" for this tech.

Now upon knowing many were falling prey to this nonsense, I had to step in and present my own counter arguments and why they are so wrong. Both programs Q&A (along with demonstrations of it acting as written) thay explains the inner workings of it as thoroughly as possible:

https://nightshade.cs.uchicago.edu/whatis.html

(Paper is in QA)

https://people.cs.uchicago.edu/~ravenben/publications/pdf/glaze-usenix23.pdf

https://twitter.com/zer0int1/status/1749574897179742353

Now comes the part when things get more heated

After I posted my retort, this is the response I got:

A) Again, while I didn't intend disrespect for their gender, "AI-bro" has literally become a catch-all for us who are against the very people who are engaged in this field

B) Since when in my original argument that I did try to villainize the entirety of programmers in general? My wording was superficially against those in that field of ML tech who are for this tech.

C) Trying to spin my own findings with proper context and immaturely handwave it by boiling it down as me going "nuh uh" is making you look childish, the info I provided literally explains the very points they argued.

D) Reason I blocked them straight away is because I knew a lot of these pro-AI tend to be very combative when it comes to criticism, I felt it in my gut that they were going to do so first. And later on other factors of their character proved my point.

Like I'm sorry, you really think me not having a degree of X matter is somehow making me a worst person and that I shouldn't be allowed to voice criticism of something?

Just because somebody is in the field of something, doesn't automatically mean they have the best interests to heart.

And here's my confirmation that like a lot of these AI enthusiasts, they're very sensitive & combative.

Now not too long, I decided to try to reblog my argument on another reblog of the artist @ Kang-Bang as they have a bigger artist presence, while they fortunately did realize what the OP they were quickly blocked upon reblogging my own post:

But it wasn't that confirmed that behaviour.

I found out through a conversation I had with somebody on the server of artist-rights advocate Zakugu Mignon, that this individual had a similar encounter with this user a year ago on Twitter (I'm Hollow btw);

And here's the conversation this person had that led to this similar experience:

https://twitter.com/Acfusi/status/1691261322988527617

Notice a familiar pattern of behaviour?

The unfortunate pattern behaviour that these pro-AI types are once again present.

It's always trying to justify the usage of this succeeding.

Now look, I'm not against the idea of the physical unabled being given the ability to produce creations of their own with the help technology means nor do I think that Artificial Intelligence is inherently bad.

But this generative tech is just doing it all the wrong way.

It's by all intentions & purposes, displace hard working people as cheaply and quickly as they can.

It has unfortunately happened to certain working sectors such as journalism, advertisement and translations as we speak.

Now on the topic of whether or not you use Glaze or Nightshade.

Please don't drop it

Now yes it's not a panchea for the societal problems we're currently facing.

But you shouldn't just leave whatever you post online out in the open without any forms of protection is not the wisest route to take.

As the Q&A already shown, it at least offers some way to ensure a means of sabotage data scalping.

There are still many other creatives and general users utilizing these programs for good reason, and WHY they're desperate for a means of protection.

https://www.tumblr.com/astraskylark/741393628982886400?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/leahfrog/743484550954598400/theres-also-nightshade-if-you-havent-heard?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/thetreetopinn/738157011350470656/ill-say-what-ive-said-in-the-past-ai-art-can-be?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/in-ravenlight/743565614387494913?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/luimnigh/743036171813273600/what-is-this-about-the-tumblr-staff-wanting-to?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/taikova/738369881482919936?source=share

Yes, I understand there's some skepticism going around and we're all frightfully confused about what to do in these uncertain times.

But please.

Don't skim out on a solution to offer some forms of protection.

Having a little protection is better than having none.

#personal post #serious talk #important #psa #signal boost #anti generative ai #call out post #supportrealartists #glaze #nightshade

[vorestarr]

i want to talk about something with Astarion that i think is important to how i read his story but also maybe kind of a touchy thing, which is how a positive relationship (whether friend or romance) with him can start: him attempting to drink the player character's blood while they sleep.

at that point in the story, Astarion has not told them anything about his vampirism or need to drink blood (even though they may suspect), and he attempts to feed on them while they sleep so they remain unaware of this. in his origin route, he can even do this successfully and feed on other companions while they sleep without them knowing.

the alternate way this can happen is Astarion eventually confessing to the player in the camp that he's a vampire, and at that point the player can offer that he drink from them.

so, the glaring thing to me about the first option where he approaches the player to drink at night is that, when looking at Astarion's vampirism as a physical manifestation or symbol of his trauma (see this post), it feels impossible not to address this as something nonconsensual that he specifically tries to hide from the player character.

i think there's a lot of ways someone can read this, but after turning this over in my head for a while now, i think the way i read it is: regardless of whether he confesses he's a vampire first or the player catches him trying to feed from them, this event is the perspective shift that changes things for him.

Astarion at this point has had his perspective warped by years, literal centuries, of Cazador and the other spawn being his only context. his baseline for interacting with other people is them, and the victims he lures to their deaths. in Astarion's origin route you learn that the first night, he has a nightmare of Cazador and his rules. Astarion then realizes that if he can walk in the sun, maybe he's free from Cazador's influence too, and he decides to test this by breaking Cazador's rule to never feed on thinking creatures.

from this perspective, Astarion is only thinking about himself and testing the limits of his new freedom. he doesn't think about the person he drinks from expect to select the most appealing one (which is always the player in his non-origin route). he also does not think of this as a problem, except in that he has to keep it a secret because people tend to not like vampires (or want to stake them). this is just how vampirism works. vampires feed on people and they generally don't like this, he's a vampire, therefore he doesn't want people he has to rely on for help/protection to know, but he needs to feed, so this is just what has to happen.

however, after he feeds from the player with their permission the first night, if he continues to feed on them, it's because they tell him he has permission to. and if you play as the dark urge and romance him while resisting the urge, there's a dialogue option on the night durge attempts to kill him where he scolds them and says "we ask before we bite."

notably, the main other times he bites people are if he uses the vampire bite in battle (against enemies the party is killing anyway) or to turn the player into a vampire (which he also only does with their permission).

so something here has changed. first, he realizes that he's no longer under Cazador's control thanks to the tadpole. then, he realizes that the world and context Cazador created, his only reference point for his vampirism up to this moment, is not the only way to be a vampire. not only can he do things without Cazador's control, but he can also choose different things -- like asking permission before feeding from someone (at least someone he likes and/or isn't going to murder in battle anyway).

tl;dr: imo, the nighttime-sneaking-up-on-the-player scene (and the confession where the player can give him permission to drink from them) is a perspective change, where Astarion goes from Cazador's perspective of how vampires are (monsters, to be brief) to his realization that there are alternate ways to be and he can choose (or not) to find one of those alternate ways.

#astarion #meta #thanks for coming to my ted talk i rewrote this so many times #this is mostly for myself to sort out some thoughts and help inform my fic writing #but im always open to hear other thoughts too :)

[akiyamastar]

Hi guys, I am back on the Chiaki tag. Yes, I'm analyzing him again and sort of picking up on a point I mentioned in my last post.

I think there's an interesting divide in how Chiaki acts in front of the other Yumenosaki graduates versus the rest of Ryuseitai (yes, even Kanata). He has this serious, no-nonsense personality that he tends to conceal in front of Ryuseitai, because he needs to act like "Ryusei Red," but this other side leaks out more in front of the other graduates. You can see this clearly in stories where he isn't interacting with his unit.

Chiaki's more complex than people make him out to be, especially if they don't know a lot about Ryuseitai and think he's some dense hero. In reality, he's an extremely perceptive person. This is a given, considering one of the main roles that he imposes upon himself is to read the emotions of the people he cares about, so even if he comes across as brash and pushy, there's this indirect sense of "I need to look over them and make sure they're all okay." His pushy, energetic personality disguises how he discreetly tries to read into situations with startling accuracy, defending the people he loves most.

In fact, he was so perceptive that he refused to let anything bad happen to Ryuseitai anymore after the events of Comet Show, thwarting Gatekeeper's move to try to alarm Madara of the false information that Kanata had been enshrined as a god again during Submarine.

Moreover, I'm of the opinion that Chiaki knew that he didn't do the best thing by reclaiming the leader role, but at the same time, the reason why he did so makes more sense in the context of the situation; he is trying to make Ryuseitai last at all costs, and he won't let the corruption of the idol industry take them down. While Chiaki does have a problem with taking things on his own, something that gets on Tetora's nerves and leads to that growing tension depicted in the prologue of the Universe story when he punches him, Chiaki's intentions were very much calculated. Chiaki is constantly reading the situation and emotions of the people around him to make the next optimal move that can help others.

While in front of Ryuseitai, he feels the need to be this "beacon of light," as symbolic as the blazing red sun that is the essence of his role as Ryusei Red, this facade is something that he is only keeping up because it's his "idealization" of himself. It is what he had originally wanted to become in Meteor Impact, and now that he finally has the power to become a hero in others' eyes, Chiaki partakes in this "fake it until you make it" act where he acts like a competent hero in front of the rest of Ryuseitai. It is to the point that his unitmates may admire him, but don't see his true self, marked with hidden insecurities of never being the main character of his own story. It is something that I really wish was explored more when Chiaki mentioned to Tetora how he wasn't that cool senior he tried to make himself seem to be. (Tetora and Chiaki's dynamic is so important to me if you haven't noticed by now.)

Essentially, Chiaki's personality is outwardly boisterous and passionate, channeling out his love for heroes and tokusatsu, but inwardly, he is extremely critical of how he enjoys such things. He also may seem like an unrealistic fool who views everything through the lens of tokusatsu, but he's also too realistic for his own good. He just thinks he'll seem like "no fun" if he shows that in front of Ryuseitai, but he does show his seriousness more around the other graduates.

I think an optimal example of Chiaki's more serious side was displayed in Shu's gacha event story centered on the graduates (Astraea's Atelier), specifically with how Leo and Chiaki interacted there.

Leo is generally a very playful and often unpredictable person, and you might initially think that this would go hand-in-hand with Chiaki's energetic personality. This isn't entirely a false assumption; in Red Hot Island (the water park gacha story) the two of them got along like two peas in a pod with their enthusiasm for the trip. (Their dynamic also goes so hard, btw.)

Nonetheless, there is a key difference between the two that shows a lot about Chiaki's character: while Leo tends to cope with problems by becoming increasingly more unpredictable and erratic in his personality, or isolating himself when he can no longer do so, Chiaki tends to shrink back and start showing cracks of his serious self when encountered with something grave, putting a halt to the energetic act rather than dialing it up.

This is why Chiaki is more likely to become suddenly realistic and even slightly irritable if people aren't taking things seriously when it matters most, which you can see when Chiaki sometimes shows a bit of annoyance for Leo's antics when they go too far in Astraea's Atelier, since he thinks that Leo isn't taking the situation of a stranger invading Shu's place in France seriously enough. Which is something I kind of love considering I wish we saw that side of him more.

Here are some examples of their interactions by the way (all translated by @/nia_narqissa on Twitter):

I recommend reading the story in all honesty since in general it reflects the graduates' friendships and how they interact with each other (and it's really funny).

I find it really interesting that Chiaki actually does seem almost hostile to Leo at some points in the story, something that might seem strange at first, but makes a lot of sense if you consider the fact that this aspect of his personality has always been a part of him; you could even conclude that it's very likely that he just swallows emotions like anger, but feels them just as much as anyone would.

In the end, however, the two do understand each other and I'm honestly really glad that they're interacting more in recent gacha stories.

I do hope to see more !! stories like this one where we see more of Chiaki's serious side since I think it's really interesting, and maybe even more on showing himself more to the rest of Ryuseitai because he is just human in the end. I think those are all my daily Chiaki thoughts for today. (I am very normal.)

#enstars #ensemble stars #chiaki morisawa #leo tsukinaga #character analysis #ryuseitai #I am a normal functioning member of society. Probably #I HAVE HOMEWORK

[soft-persephone]

Scattered Promises 3

Din Djarin x Fem!OriginalCharacter

Rating: Mature // MDNI // WC: 1.2k // warnings: violence, fighting, sexual tension // masterlist // AN: I always write with black women in mind, but remember! Anyone can read it!! // Ch.2. // Ch.4. //

Amiyra hadn’t seen much of Din after her arrival. She stayed one night at the palace until Paz came and opened up his home to her. It had more to do with Penny asking if Amiyra knew any better, but she wasn’t going to bring it up because it would definitely cause another fight, so she only told them it was temporary until she was settled and found a place just for her and the kids. 

Sammy went to some sort of community child group. She called it a daycare, but that got her several hard stairs and a firm, ‘ it isn’t”. 

She made sure not to make that mistake again. 

Jasmine was much older, so she was doing so many things. . .violent things.

She tried no to think about it.

Different cultures have different customs, different rituals, different beliefs and religions, and violence was a part of theirs. Or is it rooted in a love for armor and weaponry? Perhaps an origin of a warrior people. 

All of the above most likely. She listened to the history, but she’d rather just read about it. She knows the people they have teaching her throughout the day get tired of her constant questioning and berating  context. It got so bad that they had Din sent somethign from inside the wall. 

She trekked to the clearing in the deep forest past the willow tree and up the hill. She did not expect a ring of dirt formed through years of use from the many fights held in this area by the Mandalorians in training. There were a few wooden sheds that were worn with age but sturdy to last all these years for equipment as well a small one that served as a med bay, but it did not seem to get much use if anyone asked her about it. 

Mandalorians wouldn’t admit it, but Amiyra found them to be a proud people. They did not ask for much help and tended to push or persevere their way through everything, or at least that was the impression she got from the ones that lived in the village. She hadn’t met many within the city walls, but it was clear that they were different. 

“Change of plans,’ The mandalorian she was being trained by said, “it's not like you’ve never fought before in your life. It is clear you are a survivor.”

She nodded respectfully at his comment. Jamor was not a man of many words.

“Today we have a special warrior who has taken a personal interest in your ability to fight like all Mandalorians. He is brutal, but he comes from a time where we were at our worst as a people. We did not have our home as freely as we do now, and that meant we were in a constant war wherever we were.” he paused. “Children were raised to join that war as soon as possible.”

“I understand.”

He nodded. 

She did not need him to say anymore, and she respected his usual silence to ask him to stop. 

The last children of the great war were to be respected. It was one of the first rules she had learned in her new life in the village. 

She took her position in the center.

More people were here than usual. Most likely to see the new guest Jamor spoke of. He had to be the one who stood closest to the ring. He had an armor that was worn with time but taken care of, it was brown and slightly rusted. In some places it might have been painted over to hide the rust spots that were too bad.

The rest of the warriors gave him a respectful distance, but they stayed as close as possible, looking at the clearing. Still and silent.

It was the most excitable crowd of Mandalorians she had ever seen. 

“READY!” Jamor called out, he paused for a moment before crying out, ‘HUH!” 

Amiyra went low as usual.

Most people who were taller than her always attacked from above, using their size and strength against her so she tends to opt for speed and agility. She dashed and dogged her opponent's advances, lunging to the side, and jumping back.

Sliding past them at a moment's notice, she got the other woman off guard, letting Amiyra strike her at the neck with all her might causing her to lose her balance and fall. She scrambled upon her back and held her down with a knee refusing to let her up. 

Victory.

Everyone looked at the Mandalorian of honor. 

He stared at her for a moment. His helmet did not reveal anything  nor did his body language change. 

“Again.” he called out. 

And Amiyra fought another warrior, and then another, and then another. 

She was about to face her final opponent, but he stopped them, pulling them back by their shoulder. 

“I’ll do it.” he said through his modulator, grating her ears.

Most of her opponents were tall and strong today, but he was not as tall as they were. However, he was  still very big.

She wouldn’t underestimate him. 

As soon as Jamor called out the beginning of the battle, he was immediately upon her. 

She had no time to dodge, and had to immediately attack back. She was not as intimidated by his size, so she opted for a more offensive approach. 

He hit her ribcage, her shoulder, and barely missed her head. His kicks wee just as swift if not faster. After kicking her in the leg it took all her energy to lunge away from a swipe that had enough force to knock her off her feet. Each blow left a throbbing ache in her body.  If he could get one hit in, there were two more that followed it. She could not follow them, so she started to leave herself open on one side to take advantage of small moments to hit him back. 

She knew how insane it looked. But if she had to take a beating just for a sliver chance to fight back in any capacity, she would take it.

She heard him scoff and before she could react she was on the ground. 

Apparently he was holding back. The last blow was stronger than the rest, knocking her into the ground

He pounced on top of her. Rolling his hips with enough force to bounce her head onto the ground. Her teeth clattering with the impact.

Wrapping his hand around her neck, he brought his face closer to hers, “You favor fighting defensively, and it leaves you at a disadvantage. Learn to attack more, be active. ”

She made a choking sound in response and he tightened his grip. 

After a heartbeat, he let her go and walked away.

The crowd parted and watched him go.

Jamor grasped her arm, helping her up. 

He nodded at her. 

Jamor was one of the few mandalorians that still wore the traditional armor, but what she could gather from his body language she could tell he was proud.

She bowed back and made her way to make the same exit. 

Everyone gave her the same nod or even bowed at her. 

What the actual fuck.

She got her ass handed to her, and they were praising her for it. 

What a world.

“And I thought you couldn't get any stupider.”

“Paz!” Penny warned. “He’s still your king.”

“And who gives a shit when he spends his time doing this dumbassery! He could be using it to better our people!” He banged his fist on the table and stood up.

“We have to gather resources to settle the brewing civil war between two tribes before it reeks irreparable damage on our society all in the midst of preparing for an even bigger attack on our entire planet, but our king,”  he mocks, “decides to spend that time pining over a girl he just met!”

Din’s eye twitched for the second time this month alone. 

And without a word, he swiftly stood and gave Paz the hardest punch to the face with every fiber of strength in his body.

It was a low fucking blow, but when is it not when Paz is the receiver of such a hit.

He was annoying. 

Hed be surprised to discover Paz had ever had the grace to receive a hit that wasn’t.

It caught him off guard and he ran right into the wall.

“Don’t you two start this osik in my house!” Penny hissed before continuing in her worst slew of curses in Mandoa.

Neither apologized, but reluctantly stopped for her benefit. 

Din wanted to pounce on him until he bled, but he’ll wait. There was always time to beat the shit out a Paz. 

“Now Din, there are better ways to get the attention of a girl you like.”

Penny softly switched their newest born into her other arm, gently lifting her breast to let her eat. As their baby daughter closed her little eyes before letting out a coo and sucking on her breast with tiny content noises, she continued.

“And usually has the decency to be honest.”

Din ignored her scolding.

Amiyra had no idea she was the king of their people. She simply thought he worked for him like Paz.

He did not have the heart to tell her. Especially after she told him in confidence that she was not ready to face any higher authority of this planet after her talk with the Armorer which raised another issue.

What had they talked about? Why did the conversation leave her in such a state of distress?

“Amiyra. . .doesn't want anyone like that in her life. Putting on my old armor means I can get to know her without adding unneeded pressure to her life.”

Penny’s shoulders fell, pushed back, and dropped just slightly. 

“I’m in no position to tell you what to do,” she said thinly, “but I don’t think this  is going to end as well as you hope it will.” She sighed. 

“Honesty is always the best option but you’re grown man and how you handle this is your business.” 

“I’ll think about it.” 

Din may be stubborn but he wasn’t foolish. However, no one was taking into consideration how this was the best option for his sake. 

He didn’t need the whole court coming down on her and wreaking havoc in his life because he’s taking interest in her. Knowing them, they’d tried to usher them into marriage before the next moon cycle.

Amiyra’s life was in a delicate state.

She and her family are transitioning into a new way of life, and he was going to make sure it happened as naturally and peacefully as possible, and he wouldn’t be so selfish to let the personal stressors of his life get in the way of that. 

Why did no one else see that? 

#din djarin #the mandalorian #the Mandalorian fanfiction #din djarin x original female character #din djarin x reader #din djarin fanfiction #star wars #star wars fanfiction #din djarin x black reader #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal x black reader