#bc they did/do both genuinely love her

[queen-scribbles]

I have made the critical error of thinking about this as a Tavi song, specifically a Tavi/Everin song, bc that was very much her mindset while she was with Silversteel and why they didn’t work and ohno I’m sad about my Watcher’s could-have-been if she wasn’t a coward

but I MEAN

OOF

#queen rambles #tavi illani #everin truscot #look she calls herself a coward about how she handled the everin thing #she started to catch feelings and knew he had feelings and she got scared (fucking TERRIFIED) and ran away #someday i'd love to write everin interacting with aloth #bc they did/do both genuinely love her #but she was NOT in a mentally healthy place for a relationship while she was around everin #(She could have gotten there if she wanted to mind you #she was scared and chose not to try #bc caring gives you something you can LOSE) #so i'm sure ev would be a little bitter/envious that aloth was the one who either she got over her fear for or #just happened to be around and mutually attracted when she did #UGH #but he'd also be happy for them and fuck #fuck fuck fuck #(esp since tavi went and fucking MARRIED aloth. she went from being scared of tying herself to a place/person to marrying someone) #it's pillars of eternity feels time i guess???? #i have other things to be soing this morning SHOO #*doing

[hella1975]

sometimes i think about the fact my grandparents literally overnight just cut us off and im like. how did u even do that. does it torment you

#eeaao's 'how did you let me go so easily' moment. like i dont let myself even THINK about this too often #bc i immediately beat myself back with the 'if it's hard for you then imagine how hard it is for mum. her PARENTS cut her off' #but like. idk. my nan i couldn't give less of a shit about which is something i always find so interesting #bc even as a child with NO basis for it or any understanding of her behaviour both past and present i still wasn't Comfortable around her #like children are smart actually. i just Knew her vibes were off and i Knew my mum was weird when she was around #like i truly dont think i ever loved my nan even when she was a very frequent part of my life #but my grandad? i ADORED him. id see him multiple times a week and he's the kindest man ive ever met #and hannah what i told you about my mum saying certain people have magnetic auras THAT WAS ABOUT HIM #like i cant actually put into words what it was about him but people just wanted to know him and spend time with him #but he was weak and let my nan walk all over him and when push came to shove he chose her and now ive not spoken to him in 3 years #& i KNOW he loved me. he thought the world of me like it's a bitter unspoken thing between me & my sister that we KNOW i was his favourite #he used to buy me egg butties at agricultural shows when my mum said no and specifically ask for two eggs #he used to sit and eat his soup with me when he came over to do work at the house #he used to play with me. he used to smile all the time. i can so clearly hear the way he'd go ''iya [my name]' with his proper rural accent #or how he'd tell anyone who would listen 'she's tough as old boots that one' #and i could make him laugh like NO ONE else could and he'd light up and go 'give over' and he genuinely enjoyed my company #i KNOW HE DID. and i havent spoken to him in 3 years. he'll be dead soon #and i cant talk to my mum about it bc it's her DAD it is so much worse for her and i cant talk to my sister about it #bc she wasn't close with him like i was and she just shuts the conversation down and those are the only two people #who know my grandad and know what he meant to me so im just here like. he literally stopped speaking to me overnight #i stopped hearing from him i stopped meeting up with him im so so angry with him the love is still there i dont know where to put it now #why couldnt he stay. why did he pick her when she's a loveless void of inhumanity. why werent we enough #hella goes home #my grandparents on my dad's side are also not in the picture funnily enough but idgaf about them. she got that grandparentless swag

[canisonicscrewyou]

I KNOW the testosterone is doing her job because when I left the family function today, my uncle john (who I haven’t seen since coming out+transitioning) shook my hand and went “nice meeting you today”.

His wife knew who I was and acknowledged it as soon as she saw me earlier. I didn’t correct him. I’m still laughing about it, honestly.

#literally so tickled by it. the way my grandma howled. #when I told her about it before we left #but I DID confuse his name w my uncle ken’s. so. it all evens out I guess. #BUT he also said nice to meet you to my partner?? so he was definitely talking to me abshfjfkgkg #I’m still nervous around my extended family bc we haven’t seen each other much since coming out to them #they’re all doing real good about it though. it’s genuinely very sweet. they’re all so old and do so well #both w me and my partner’s pronouns and stuff. love that shit. very affirming. #ok to reblog if you wanna I guess. I won’t stop you.

[r0bee]

REX AND AMANDA'S ROMANCE HAS ME ABSOLUTELY FUCKED UP RN OH MY GOD

(full on comic spoilers under the cut just in case)

FUCKING ME UPPPPP

#They've had me on the ropes for a long time but throwing her into space was my final fucking straw oh my god #Like I've been staring into space thinking of their epic centuries spanning alien dimension romance the past few days #Now THIS #There's only so much I can TAKE (I'm loving it actually it's so OUCH) #They both won't give up but he doesn't love her enough to give up what he's doing and she loves him too much to give up on him #I want to explode and die #Also I did decide to take a break right after he throws her into space to kill her bc I need time to absorb it #So I'll see if she somehow survives or not lager #Later* #But yeah holy shit dude #She loved him for SEVEN HUNDRED YEARS and he THREW HER INTO SPACE bc she was getting in the way of his plans. #But also he's GENUINELY DEVASTATED BY IT. He's WEEPING ON THE FLOOR BC OF IT. BUT HE DID IT ANYWAY. #It's so FUCKED #invincible comic

[tartt9]

thinking about jamie's bisexuality tonight.

#specifically his internalized biphobia #we know he's not externally biphobic bc he knows keeley's bi and he still loves her and isn't disparaging to her in any way #but in regards to himself #he knows he's bi but the thought of just referring to himself in that way makes him want to be physically sick #he can and will acknowledge that he's attracted to men both in public and in private #see: he ain't my type he's too scratchy & i'm flattered #and people know he's bi #see: i'm flattered (again) & it's so nice to finally meet you both & rk6 always remains #but i think his whole childhood his dad was just. awful to him irt rk6 and even his estate friends who he thought were too close with jamie #he probably called him every slur and slur adjacent word in the book #i don't think jamie was ever the sort to use those slurs bc he probably immediately went home and asked georgie 'what does xyz mean' #and good mum georgie bolton would've been like. we do not call people those words #and if she ever found out he did he would've been in sooooo much trouble #'no rk6 for a week' and that would've made him learn his lesson LMAO #anyways #i genuinely think he could say 'this is my boyfriend xyz' before he could say 'i'm bisexual' #and he really needs a lot of long long long term therapy to feel secure in himself #like. he's not ashamed of who he is. he said the scratchy thing on national television. he's not keeping it a secret #but he can't come out and say it and he'd be almost nauseous if a boyfriend ever wanted to go public #both bc of his aforementioned Everything and bc of the environment that the prem just. is #it's incredibly homophobic and it's known that it's incredibly homophobic #i think it would take jamie a lot of talking with colin to feel comfortable going public before him #just bc he's more willing to be a spokesperson than colin is #like we know jamie he can take heat (see go back down south pretty boy and like. all of mom city in general) #and we know he likes a pedestal (see everything about jamie ever) #but. it's gonna take time. a lot of time.

[potatoesandsunshine]

had the longest day in the world... and tomorrow is gonna be longer........

#bro 😑 why did i schedule two back to back 'go be condescended to while helping someone' items #i care about these people. i WANT to do the cleaning and grocery shopping and errands etc etc for them. genuinely. #unfortunately i am now old enough to recognize that i find them both personally insufferable MOST of the time. i just hate having a #'conversation' with someone that can't ever allow you to be right. like even when i agree with her i'm still wrong because she has to be #Right And Correct about everything. more than anyone else can ever be! it's like please just go back to tv and let me clean your house!!! #i'm here to dust your fifteen million bookshelves! i'm SORRY that some of the books got out of order the last time this happened - #when i wasn't even here! that was you!!!!! just let me clean!!! #and the other person is my grandma which is just like okay are you inviting me over to have lunch bc you actually want to see me #or is this the first step of the next elaborate guilt trip youve constructed for me. bc i'm just. #you can only say i dont love you and have me give in so many times ma'am. and you are over the limit.

[43sol]

2 episodes in and I do be happy wiggling

#tiger and bunny 2 #what happened to subaru?? he got cuter somehow??? it feels like hes more centered and understands his place now but also why u being cutie #thomas feels like he doing a sasuke bit. the whole i gotta push people away or theyll get hurt bc of me. like sweetie #cant believe bison and origami sharing one brain cell now... #also really heartwarming when everybody else found out about the surprise comeback #the fact they were more concerned that their reactions would not be genuine and possibly disappoint tiger who loves dramatics (and barnaby) #also tiger flubbing his line he is trying!! even with his daughters coaching father-daughter bonding love to see it #everybody holding in their laughter barnabys voice breaking on excuse us. like highlight of the episode lmaoooo #also fire emblem calling them both Handsome like when did this happen 😳 like yes but also canon acknowledgement #worrywart old man 🥺🥺 both of them unable to shut up about each other. we get it!! yall irreplaceable to each other!!! #i like the rose episode about her crush like how they went about it. also ryan/rose friendship partnership is such nice breath of fresh air

[babyboybuckley]

Idk I feel like today's ep would have been a great segue into talking about the punch bc I STILL wanna know how people reacted to that news

#this is NOT a chimney hate area you can fuck off with that #i am trying to unlearn pushing my own decision making onto these characters #bc i have been very guilty of that (my initial lawsuit era was a cringefail moment) #but like i do want to know how the rest of the 118 reacted #eddie reacted... interestingly but also he was Going thru it #like i am curious as to how that conversation went #did buck tell anyone???? #i have QUESTIONS #anyway i love the buck/hen dynamic here because weve never really seen him get in her face before #and they both have such genuine valid reasons for their arguments #did hen overstep? yeah. especially considering the whole eva situation #does buck 100% prioritise his sister?? also yes. he has blinders on when it comes to her #anyway #9 1 1 spoilers #9 1 1 season 6 spoilers #9 1 1 #911 tv show #9 1 1 season 6 episode 16 #also before anyone comes for me logically yeah it wouldnt have fit the narrative AT ALL and wouldve changed the convo courss #but i can imagine buck bringing it up when hes talking to hen in the loft initially

[unholyplumpprincess]

I fall in love a little bit with everyone but esp to people who info dump to me, idk if anyone else gets that feeling but omg

#princess talks #my beautiful and wonderful coworker just infodumped for 5 hours of the hunger games books and movies and the correlation l #of both and how the movies did or didnt portray smth #and im so enraptured the WHOLE time as we work and omg #holds my chest #it was so wonderful esp bc i know zero abt hunger games and i told her that #i genuinely want to read and watch them all now #what a beautiful thing #god i love humans i really do

[mosquitinho]

. ...

#why did i choose to be like free and live my life the way i want to and create my own existence etc by being trans nb fjdnfn. #like i rly dont care when strangers call me she bc how would they know #but it sucks that even my closest friends still misgender me sometimes / def see me as a girl #and even the lgbt ppl ive met who have only met me when i was only introducing myself as they/him also misgender me often fjdjjf #and i dont wanna take t lol i genuinely love how i look i love my body and face. #im pretty lucky for having a v androgynous appearance but Still soo many ppl see me as a girl.. #strangers do often refer to me as he/him. compared to like other afab non-t-taking ppl. #but as soon as anyone hears my voice theyre like Oh Sorry youre a girl sorry !! and in my head im like noOo you were right the 1st time . #anyways it seems that my options are either #continue living the way i want but deal w most ppl coming to the conclusion im a girl in their heads #or do things i dont wanna do in order to change my physical appearence + voice (testosterone and/or voice training) #so more ppl refer to me as he/they #i hate both options i wish hearing others she/her me didnt irk me so fucking bad #wish my friends + everyone i have constant contact with learned faster to see me as nb and use my pronouns like i always tell them to gjdjf

[trans-leek-cookie]

Hm I'm not putting this in yhe main tags bc. Yeah but I'm blocking ppl who call the step mother hot

#Like ok she kills people and is rebelling or whatever. She abused 2 children. One if whom we saw be abused physically and mentally in CANON #BEFORE NOW! YOU STUPID FUCKS. And I don't want to overstep bc I am not Black but both of her main victims are Black and I feel #Very very uncomfortable with people being able to. Ignore that? Like I don't know if she has a Canon/coded race so I can't speak to #In story dynamics and I can't say if it's intended as a pattern but it's genuinely something I think we should like. Acknowledge. #I dont CARE about you enjoying her killing people. That's like fine who gives a shit. I do care about the fact people seem to have assumed #That her being given nuance means it's like. Fine to gloss over the fact she is Canonically an abuser? Like look me in the fucking eyes. #She has abused Cinderella Pinocchio and her stepdaughters! I don't CARE if you want to say the first parts are because of the authors. #It. Happened. Oh wow she was written this way she didn't chose CINDERELLA DIDNT CHOSE TO BE ABUSED! AND OH HOW TERRIBLE THAT YOU WERE #ABUSIVE SO WE COULD LOVE THE PROTAG. HOW DO YOU THINK SHE'D FEEL IF SHE KNEW HER ABUSE WAS A CHOICE MADE TO MAKE HER ''BETTER'' AND #''MORE LIKEABLE''. LIKE SHE HAS TO HAVE THIS KIND OF PAIN JUST SO PEOPLE LIKE HER. DO YOU THINK THATS BETTER? THAT ITS LESS SOUL CRUSHING?? #AND THENP PINOCCHIO. She. CHOSE. That. Pinocchio chose to lie to save his father. She chose to hurt his father to control him. Also more #Lore based but it's implied she did her story again. She has Cinderella's father in an etching. So. It's likely after she got this power #She STILL chose to hurt Cinderella. She chose to be the villain. She CHOSE this. She chose to hurt her again. She chose to be abusive again #Again. Implied. But I don't know what else it would imply. She broke off Pinocchio's nose. She saw him Vulnerable literally told in #By his father (even untrue as it was) that he shouldn't have been made. And she used that. She lovebombed him with promises of a mother and #Reassurance and GIFTS TO FUCKING MANIPULATE HIM. And I believe in adventuring party it was said that Pinocchio literally could not #Recognize what she did to him as abuse/manipulation because of the fact he had been taught that if something hurt him he like. Deserved it. #Or that it was in some way Correct. And that getting what he WANTED was wrong. She took advantage of that to use him literally use him #To the point he was willing to use his strings (something he saw as a trap for him literally representing CONTROL OVER HIM just to escape #Her he was literally GIVING SIGNIFICANT PARTS OF HIS AUTONOMY UP TO ESCAPE HER I DONT THIMK THIS IS FUCKING SUBTEXT GUYS) #Ppl say they want evil women and then act like the women who aren't evil aren't that bad actually because that would COMPLICATE THINGS HUH? #I'm so FUCKING MAD. Like use your brain you stupid cunts

[magentagalaxies]

overdid it at my improv show last night and now all i can do is lay in bed having blorbo thoughts

#it was my first time performing live comedy in at least a year and oh my god i didn't realize how much i'd missed it #i love doing behind-the-scenes stuff but something about being onstage with no script and the job of entertaining people #i'm like ah yes this is why i want to be a comedian no matter what #i'd done some virtual improv shows since the pandemic but being in person is so much better #my scene partner could just be like ''hey i'm giving you a piggy back now'' and i'd be like ok no follow up questions #i trust you know what you're doing in this scene enough for me to put my entire weight on you (both metaphorically and literally) #also spontaneously transformed from acting as myself to acting as taffy (one of my recurring improv characters) in like 0.5 seconds #and i didn't even know i was going to be doing taffy at this show (neither did my scene partner they just set me up perfectly) #idk if i've talked about taffy before but i love her she was my first major recurring comedic character #her whole thing is she desperately wants to be part of this wealthy family called the van bortels #and comes up with wild schemes to get there such as living in their vents for the entire pandemic #she also has a husband who's a raccoon that is also nonbinary #i love playing taffy bc she was the first character i ever did that was like. oh people enjoy this. oh people REALLY want to see this. #and when i came home from college the first time we did a scene where there was an imposter-taffy that was another cast member #basically doing their own impression of taffy #and it genuinely made me emotional like wow i made such a distinct character that people are doing their own imitations of her #and it's still unmistakably taffy #anyway maybe i should bring taffy out more. i've been focusing a lot on aubrey lately bc ze's my favorite character i do #but i have at least two other characters i developed in improv over the years that people seem to enjoy #(the third is taytay but i legit haven't played taytay since 2020 so i barely remember what she's like)

[oatbugs]

ok so heres what happened

#basically we went on another date. idk if u guys remember but the first date actually went rly well but for some reason i felt Nothing like #there was literally nothing wrong and everything went perfectly i showed her around london etc i was just like. idk i felt. friendship #not much more. anyway so for this date i went to manchester (they came all the way to ldn for me last date so its fine its fair) and she #showed me around etc and it was like. rly rly good. like genuinely we did a lot and talked a lot..and like. theyre rly rly good at art etc #like they carry pencils and their sketchbook w them everywhere and they draw ppl and scenery etc that they see + find interesting. #and like we talked. a lot . but at some point they looked at me a lot and i was like whats wrong and she said youre really beautiful and id #love to draw u . which was rly sweet...and also she said she loves watching me watching things. bc we went to a gallery #and then a book shop. BTW THE BOOK SHOP. ok so we were walking and there was like a random staircase upstairs and a sign saying book shop w #nothing else on it outside and we went upstairs and it was like a rly small but rly. cosy? interesting? book shop and there was this guy w #a rly rly pretty face and a long coat typing and there were like 20 poetry books next to him. some of them were lovesongs from the persp- #ective of a satanist and i asked him if the book was his and he said i guess . i bought an unlabelled book for £1 #ok just realised it would be too long to type the full interaction but istg i felt more abt this guy than i did abt her and i DONT KNOW WHY #like literally theres nothing wrong things went great i just dont. get it?? like. maybe i need her to be more interesting. but i feel #like thats not a valid reason. anyway she clearly feels more abt me than i do abt her but i also kind of implied previously id be ok w #exploring being more than friends etc but now im like. done exploring? like i dont think i can feel romantically abt her idk..but am i just #being dumb but also is it unfair to her if i say nothing. anyway i bought love poetry we walked around a lot + bought bubble tea + we both #had 5% to make it back home w. also went to cute cafes and vintage places etc etc #ill write abt the bookshop guy later maybe. anyway whats wrong w me why cant i just like smn normally. i have to make rice and #head off to archery now bye

[queencvbra]

Thinking about how isolated Tory was even inside of c.obra k.ai itself after the shift into Kreese and Silver’s leadership. With Hawk and Miguel leaving, she didn’t really have any friends until Robby joined. She had other “allies”, yes, but nothing beyond the surface level of dojo loyalty. And something that contributed a lot to her isolation was the change in ck as a whole. Before, it was comprised of a bunch of outcast kids trying to find some form of empowerment, and that’s what drew Tory there. That’s where she fit the best; she was also an outcast trying to find her own sense of worth and community. Somewhere she belonged. But then Kreese and Silver overhaul the whole damn thing and most of the outcasts are replaced with these privileged rich kids because of their athletic capabilities and willingness to conform to whatever their senseis want. It stops being about empowering those who need it and about the strength of an establishment.

And Tory didn’t fit in well with the new crowd. The first thing we see of her in s4? She is ALONE. Everyone else arrived together. She was by herself. They ignored her when they came in. Tory only matters to them when she approaches them, and even then, it’s in conflict. They represent the opposite of what she thought was great about ck and everything she didn’t want to become, yet there she was, and she was supposed to be one of them. Everyone on the outside thought she was one of them anyway, so what would it matter if she fought against the change? She wouldn’t be welcome outside of ck because of the things she’d done and the bridges she’d burned, but here she still had the choice to try and fit in. Do what her sensei tells her and conform, because that meant she could survive. It meant she had a chance. And yet, she never really could become one of them, could she? She couldn’t become another Kyler or even a Piper (who you can argue was just willfully ignorant instead of actively malicious like Kyler). There was never a moment in this new ck where Tory WASN’T torn between who she wanted to be and who she needed to be to survive in this environment. The only reason she wasn’t completely alone was because she had Robby (and later Kenny but only bc of that association with Robby tbh), and also Kreese, but there were plenty of times when it was questionable whether or not Kreese really had Tory’s back or if he was putting ck’s interests first.

#I am full of THOUGHTS #the fact that she only ever had one person who had her back without question during her whole stint in ck #yeah kreese had her back too a lot of times but the thing is #he also manipulated her #whether actively or unconsciously. he might not believe it was manipulation bc of his conviction in what he does but psychologically it was. #there were plenty of times when he put the interests of ck above tory's wellbeing #prime example of that is when he worked her up in s3 and got her to go lash out against md/ef #you cannot tell me he wasn't doing that on purpose in that scene. he knew what he was doing by telling her that shit in a very specific way. #he didn't have to tell her to go break in. he knew her well enough to know that she would do something. and he'd be blameless. #it didn't matter what came next as long as tory did *something*. anything to keep that separation and intimidate md/ef #kreese fought for tory and kreese emotionally manipulated tory are statements that are both true and not mutually exclusive #and I think that makes him telling her to fight her own way and reject ck's no mercy mentality at the tournament more impactful #because up until that point it was always ck first. even when helping tory. ck still came first. #but in that moment it was *tory* who he put first above ck. a BIG turnaround. #this is why I have so many complicated thoughts about her and papa john #bc he did right by her in the end but also that can't erase what came before and his intentions through indoctrinating her #do I think kreese genuinely cared about tory? yes. #do I also think he's a fucked up old guy with a lot of internalized shit who doesn't know how to separate his care from #his distorted world view and his ongoing manipulation of others? under the belief that he just wants what's best for his students? also yes. #I just love that dynamic it's so complex #and a lot to unpack for what it means for tory from the perspective of writing her #⚡ 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 ── ❝ She was made of lightning. ❞

[triggeringtommy]

gggrrrrrr i feel ,,, like i can't make a big post abt what's bothering me bc i swear she doesn't follow me but she lurks on here from time 2 time so I'm ranting in the tags here side note I wish I could shut the fuck up but im struggling with that!!!!! >:(

#if u see this kai i love u #im so fucking stressed rn all i think abt is getting fucked up and od'ing so like yikes thats a problem #im tryna be excited and happy abt visiting fl but its so hard to keep my shit together rn #shes upset over her dad and low key taking it out on me and ik we're both stressed to the max #i can tell im having a problematic episode and its showing #i feel so annoying 2 every1 every time i say anything its eating at my brain #i feel like a shit person bc i wish i could do more for every1 but i cant even do for myself rn #i just want to smoke n drink n get fucked up and hav no cares in the world #i wanna drink sossooooo bad but my FL friends are gonna b watching over me like a hawk #i just wanna get away and do fuckshit but at the same time id rather kms than do drugs with those ppl ever again #like 2 1/2 years ago chase came by to help us move shit and he literally handed me a bag of meth and was like u want some?? i said wtf #i kicked him out bc he knew i was sober and i genuinely hate meth i accidentally did it 1 time on new years eve i swear i was finna die #i tried coke that night and i was on acid it felt truly magical i luvvv acid n coke #i just hav a rly bad coke problem but ive been sober since 2020!!!! #doesnt mean i dont think abt it allll the timeeee #sobriety rocks! jk jk this is the hardest shit ever #its just me n my nic vape against the world huh

[autistic-britta-perry]

cellbit stuck on a costumer service job post prison and having not great therapy and being like ugh. ugh. trying to 'make it up to people' and get better while not disclosing he's done actual murders because he would not be free if he did. He roomed with Felps for a bit but then he found this very cheap place to live in and he just got that job and he knew Felps is not taking him changing seriously and was probably still doing bad shit that could get him in trouble. And he does want to keep having the somehow friendly relationship he has with Pac and Mike now, so.

He goes to check it out, and it's cheap it's very small but he's lived in worse places. If he feels there's something off about the residents and if the meat they cook tastes just like human flesh that's surely his own imagination right? if his hot new neighbour Roier sometimes has an odd look on his face or says strange things that's probably Cellbit projecting that he somehow knows about his past and is seeing right through him, RIGHT?

#sfh AU #WATCH STRANGERS FROM HELL PLS PLS PLS PLS #i thnk pac and mike and cellbit first meet up again bc they run into each other and have a solidarity moment of being runaways who had to #build everything back up and Pac had been feeling guilty about cellbit 'dying' too. and also cellbit had found a baby kitty and was taking #care of it and i think this makes both of them surprised idk there's some kind of richas equivalent that makes them think he is trying. #but anyway i won't derail into those sorry i am celltw at heart always #cellbit being made much worse by the job and then the house #only able to self soothe by having murder fantasies: I'M SO NORMAL I'M SO NORMAL I'M SO NORMAL #evil hot roier: ;) #(prev description applies to the MC of sfh I'm telling you get on this show) #i think the way to do this is that cellbit thinks having people who care for you and comitting atrocities are exclusory (which they are for #normal people) #so in prison he didn't 'want' or need anybody but almost dying made him realize he was lonely and he did want people and he was genuinely #hurt by tazercraft's betrayal etc. but he can't be himself and have that. so he starts to control himself and focus on trying at having a #normal life bc maybe he just never got a chance at it and maybe he'll be happy with it. but he's not fully #and roier's gonna show him you can have a ride or die while still being a serial killer who liks to eat people. love is love etc #they still keep up with tazercraft after. maybe at some point they find out but they get them to see that they're family now and that #Cellbit & Roier wouldn't hurt them specifically which imo I think they'd be ok with mostly #bagi's not in this bc i don't know how to have her there without . her getting hurt. maybe they meet her later after they're a thing #like in canon #i also think the idea of cellbit writing crime novels starting as a way to control himself but wth help from sugar daddy roier doing more #and being successful bc he 'really gets into the mind of the killers' is . lol.