#im tryna be excited and happy abt visiting fl but its so hard to keep my shit together rn

[triggeringtommy]

gggrrrrrr i feel ,,, like i can't make a big post abt what's bothering me bc i swear she doesn't follow me but she lurks on here from time 2 time so I'm ranting in the tags here side note I wish I could shut the fuck up but im struggling with that!!!!! >:(

#if u see this kai i love u #im so fucking stressed rn all i think abt is getting fucked up and od'ing so like yikes thats a problem #im tryna be excited and happy abt visiting fl but its so hard to keep my shit together rn #shes upset over her dad and low key taking it out on me and ik we're both stressed to the max #i can tell im having a problematic episode and its showing #i feel so annoying 2 every1 every time i say anything its eating at my brain #i feel like a shit person bc i wish i could do more for every1 but i cant even do for myself rn #i just want to smoke n drink n get fucked up and hav no cares in the world #i wanna drink sossooooo bad but my FL friends are gonna b watching over me like a hawk #i just wanna get away and do fuckshit but at the same time id rather kms than do drugs with those ppl ever again #like 2 1/2 years ago chase came by to help us move shit and he literally handed me a bag of meth and was like u want some?? i said wtf #i kicked him out bc he knew i was sober and i genuinely hate meth i accidentally did it 1 time on new years eve i swear i was finna die #i tried coke that night and i was on acid it felt truly magical i luvvv acid n coke #i just hav a rly bad coke problem but ive been sober since 2020!!!! #doesnt mean i dont think abt it allll the timeeee #sobriety rocks! jk jk this is the hardest shit ever #its just me n my nic vape against the world huh