#bc that’s mostly what this is abt rn | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

zombsbian · 9 months

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my brain is like one of those tiny decoration waterfalls that recycles it’s own water to just keep making the waterfall and the water doesn’t do anything but contribute to fueling the waterfall that goes absolutely fucking nowhere

#i would LOVE to contribute to fandom with my cool awesome analysis of symbolism/imagery/themes/motifs #in my head i am creating the most beautiful 5 hour long video essay about a media/character no one gives a fuck abt #but when i actually try to put those thoughts in any kind of coherent statement or expression i just sound like a dum dum #all my blorbos from my shows and games are swimming around in my mind pond #adventure time #bc that’s mostly what this is abt rn

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mattiebluebird · 3 months

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do dc writers know how dna works. even just a little bit? "Oh my father is Evil so sometimes his Evil Nature overtakes me..." what. "Oh my parents were both skilled assassins so obviously they bred like horses to make a super-soldier." WHAT.

#this is abt raven roth & cassandra cain respectively but mostly kon el bc im reading teen titans 2003 rn & WHAT.#dc comics #dc #kon el #conner kent #cassandra cain #raven roth #raven dc

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sunsetsandsunshine · 18 days

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An issue I need to address:

TW: Drama, cussing…yk all that jazz. I apologize that this post is what you all are receiving from me today. But I need to talk about this before it get’s worse.

Okay, I just want to clarify that there should be no hate being sent towards @osctwordfan for this. Hate and hurtful comments will not and cannot fix what has been done. But that does not I am not angry about it. I am mad. I am livid. Only two people on this site has been able to make me this genuinely upset and it’s frustrating that making a PUBLIC POST is the only way to get this person’s attention.

4 days ago, May 16th, @osctwordfan started following me. Which, I greatley appreciated because HELLO??? Who wouldn’t, right? A new follower is just an awesome feeling to have. So, I checked their blog to see what they liked and we shared SO many similar interests it was almost scary. And I followed back.

If you know me for a while, you know my whole “Hi new mutual 💝” message I send to my new mutuals. Because 1: I love talking to people and 2: I just want others to feel like they’re welcome. (If you haven’t received one yet it’s either bc you’re a little older than me or idk how to send the message. BUT YOU WILL GET ONE TRUST 💞💓💘💖💝)

And you all know how you can SEE when someone is online? Well, they were online when I texted this. And I got no response. I just assumed it was nervousness or shyness so I didn’t really question it. Until a few minuetes later they reblogged my “You can always ask” fic.

Which, woo-hoo I guess. But my message was still not answered. But I didn’t think it was THAT deep.

The next day, May 17th, I noticed they were online. I sent a quick “Hi” again, awaiting a response. About 5 minutes later I was met with one, except it wasn’t the one I was expecting or hoping for.

It was a request. For a fanfiction. Okay okay cool. Coolio. You…ignore my two messages of me just simply saying a quick “hello” and you don’t answer…instead you ask for a tickle fanfiction of some turtles?

I get people are shy. I get that. I do. But me and one of my best friends were talking about it on Insta and it made no damn sense. Following, reblogging and requesting things from an individual that’s been trying to speak with you for the past few days and you not responding and then ASKING something of them is just…weird.

Me and one of my best friend’s convo:

So, on May 18th I saw they were online again, and so I texted the following:

Which I felt was fine. It was straight to the point. But where my anger really emegred was when I got notifications of my fics being reblogged by the same person. AGAIN. NOT EVEN 3 MINUTES LATER.

And then May 19th they liked another post of mine. Although it was a post that you would have to DIG DEEP FOR. Because I made it a year ago and only 4 people liked it (INCLUDING ME.). So you would have to LOOK LOOK to find it.

Then yesterday, May 20th, was just my breaking point. I was chilling, having a nice evening, talking with my fellow mutuals, writing a fic (AND FINISHING WOO-HOO) until I get a notification. And guess what? It’s just another reblog by the same person.

Did I get any responses of my pervious texts? Nope. Not at ALL.

I am sick and hurt of being treated as if I’m just a computer that makes fanfictions.

I am a PERSON. A human being that for the past week has been trying to talk with you. And you at fucking 16 should understand that.

You are one whole year older than me and you think you have the right to treat me this way. Who the absolute hell do you think you are?

Because let me get this through your head: I live in an African and Jamaican household, and one thing that we let each other know day in and day out is to never ever let someone make you feel like you’re less.

So when you see this @osctwordfan I am hoping you have a good explanation regarding to last week.

@ ing mutual’s in this because this is INSANE and I am LIVID rn:

@itzsana-kiddingmenow @veryblushyswitch

@skyloladoodles @saturnzskyzz @backy-san

@creativecutie @savemeafruitjuice

@mythica0 @leosmasktails @someone1348 @vxlepop

@anxious-lee @charismakat

@sunny-117 @odder-outlet @jamiesgotchu @ziipzeepzop-eez

@danineedshelp @pocky-dragon

@my-l0v3r-v3rse @rice-cake-teen10

#Didn’t add everyone bc that would be SM people #Mostly everyone though #Look #At the end of the day I’m sorry it came down to me making a post about you #But you seriously left me no choice #LIKE ACTUALLY #But srsly idfk what could be the explanation towards all of this #You sent me an ask and you would be able to see the notifications of me messaging you #If you had messages off I wouldn’t be able to in the first place/Tumblr would tell me #Also mutual’s you don’t have to respond if you don’t want to 💞💞💞#I’m just trying to figure out if I have a right to be upset abt this…#Sfw tickle community #Sfw tickle blog #Blog drama #Follower drama #Dude I don’t even want an apology I just want you to EXPLAIN #I hate drama #But I needed to post this #I’m not trying to be mean rn #I’m just trying to understand

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the-random-phan · 2 months

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Shi Qingxuan~ <3

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opens-up-4-nobody · 20 days

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...

#hm. im in limbo. but at least i can draw again at last. ive never spent so long not wanting to draw. it was terrible #my job search lasted 4 days before i secured a position at target but i dont start until the 26th so im drifting until then #it feels so weird. like i dunno. i keep thinking abt jobs in a weird way now bc i just sorta drifted into what i do #weird academic stuff but i think most jobs arent like being a grad student and that never really occured to me #i dunno why. i could have done so many things but here i am. an ecologist mostly. i dunno. well see what the summer brings #maybe ill grow some social skills. its sorta weird but like the medication has made my head less terrible with intrusive thoughts. like i #can actually drive my car without hyperventilating which is fucking wild. so Maybe ill grow some confidence abt interacting with the world #going back in the fall still seems impossible rn but so does starting a job somewhere else. but i dunno #not where i expected to be in my life. im just lucky i dont have to worry much abt money #especially bc i got an ultrasound done so they cold make sure something wasnt wrong with my uterus #and its fine. guess it just hates me but that means i spent like 350 dollars for a 10min scan that showed nothing #ay. the us medical system #anyway. i guess ill continue drifting until the 26th #probably i should find something to do. or work on my old unpublished data #unrelated

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nilesmoon · 4 months

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infinite wealth if sawashiro said "who gives a shit about ebina im going to hawaii with ichi" and then the rest of the game is a family vacation

#Ok so here's my dream scenario. It starts w kicking kiryu out of the narrative bc girl. I love the guy but he does not need to be here!!#kicking him out of the narrative also banishes the ebina stuff. I'm still keeping him around but #he'll be basically built up to be the main antagonist of 9. We're ONLY focusing on the cult stuff for 8 #the way 8 closes him off is already sequel bait so give him a proper focus game w 9 #Anyways now that that's out of the way. My worstie sawashiro does indeed become a party member.#His moveset is mostly blade damage w some blunt damage mixed in. YES I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT GAME MECHANICS #His singular elemental move is him flicking a cigarette at the enemy. Yes this is based off of that one scene w ichi in 7 #ANYWAYS I HAVE MANY IDEAS I CANT TYPE THEM ALL OUT RN BUT. FAMILY VACATION ARC. PLEASE #ITS INSANE TO ME HOW KASUGA 'I LOVE MY FAMILY' ICHIBAN WAS NOT ALLOWED TO PROPERLY INTERACT W HIS FAMILY???#AND THE MAJORITY OF SAWASHIROS CONFLICT INCLUDED CAST MEMBERS WHO DIDNT GIVE A SINGLE SHIT ABOUT HIM????#I keep thinking back on that scene where ebina shows him passed out on that chair and THE INTENDED AUDIENCE FOR #THAT SCENE WAS AN OCEAN AWAY LIKE GIRL. WHAT WAS THE POINT???#well another perspective of that scene would be that sawashiro would be glad that ichi wasn't the one that came to rescue. which is. Misery #me when characters are defined by their guilt 💥💥💥💥😵💥💥💥😵‍💫💥💥💥😱💥💥💥💥😫💥💥💥#Well. If y'all read all these tags. thanks. If anyone is curious about this self indulgent au that I've created feel free to hit me up #(Please hit me up I'm desperate to talk abt the arakawa family misery and I deeply wish this game was even more miserable)#rgg #nile talks

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dungeons-and-dragon-age · 3 months

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forever mad about how dirty they did aveline from act 2 onward

#thinking way too much abt it rn cus i just finished her quest today #she is important to liam and i enjoy their relationship a lot & also her character in general in the earlier acts #but MAN i hate what they did to her in acts 2 and 3 #laya plays dragon age #feels like there is such a disconnect from her attitude between acts 1 and 2?#or well. maybe not disconnect exactly but even so there is an important shift there and we never even get to see it OR question it #she could have been such a good contribution to the story and the themes by putting her at a crossroads of #do i keep following what i know and become another cog in the system or do i challenge them and break out of it #cus like. in act 1 she is not above going against laws when her own morals (or even just biases) go against them #but is generally still in favor of ''regular'' law and order (which does get challenged by characters sometimes which is nice!)#(sort of) blind loyalty is already a fault of hers and now her loyalty is understandably mostly towards her guards #but then her companion quest is not in fact about herself but about frickin. courting the guy she likes???????#full on i thought this was a silly quest for levity in an act that has a lot of dark moments #but no it is Her Important Quest TM and not only does she not get with him if you dont do the quest #but her entire attitude and happiness going forward depends on it????? what the hell #also fun fact first time playing act 2 i thought that there was a lot going over my head and like #and some of it did yeah but i also just Assumed that bc the way aveline acted/ the guards actions were presented through her #didnt line up with what actually happened #(& her being so defensive and dismissive didnt line up with the impression i got of her before that)#sorry for the rant im just once again mad about cool characters being screwed over by the writing

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asterbats · 1 year

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drew my new kitten as a “warmup” but have to stop here because shes being a rascal

#her name at the shelter was pog btw. like the game but now her full name is cricket pogchamp #cat #cricket #pets #artists on tumblr #drew some blue in her eyes. bad at picking colors from irl that much but shes got a very small blue ring in there still #though shes close to having her regular eyes. i think they will be yellow?#i love her but whew cant wait til shes big......... will probably update what she looks like #tried to make her look deliberately worried with her whiskers btw. she seems sad but she was abnormally snuggly on day 1 #she cried in the carrier and hid under my drawer for like 5 minutes then instantly got to exploring and 1 hour in she showed her belly #which. im a first time cat owner but im told thats absolutely insane for a kitten on day 1 #shes already sleeping on me and stuff and snuggling next to me.... playing w her is the hard part bc lack of energy #idk if itll ever be enough for her but i am trying! i want her to be happy. also i think rn she mostly likes me when im sitting #otherwise she darts away when i walk around. i think bc im like this weird giant to her #oh also shes apparently just tiny? bc her mom was small too so she'll probably grow up to be a small cat #everyones going on abt how my aunts cats were bigger at her age sdklfjsdlfds (8 weeks almost 9!)

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hundredowls · 5 months

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silly oc doodle..... ballroom yuri

#ocs #ok so im gonna ramble/complain in the tags for a bit bc i love to complain its mostly not even gonna be relevant to the ocs but anyway ok #yknow that diagram abt art skills thats like ability to see/ability to draw #im at the BAD PART OF IT RN #i wanna draw fanart so bad but then i get annoyed bc the fanart doesnt look as good as the source material GHRG which is a totally #unreasonable thing to think bc source material is drawn by Professionals but you know how it is. Art Hard etc etc complain etc etc #need to do more studies etc etc #i wanna be able to draw really good so i can draw the things i love!!!!! even if its hard and tedious i wanna practise!!!! i love art!!!!!!#dont think about whats easy think about whats fun - bokuto koutarou etc #anyway everyday i am sad i have to sit in front of a desk for 8 hours instead of practising drawing :( i wanna table at a con this year....#but is there even time.....#ANYWAY this is somewhat relevant bc in an effort to be less hard on myself mayhaps i will try draw more oc things so i dont feel pressure #(self imposed)#to make it perfect kjskjkd #or at least not as much #and hopefully get over my brain's tendency to Compare Everything #i have like 3 vague sets of ocs (one less vague than the others ive posted one of the characters from that on my main art blog before sjdks #these two are from the next less vague set there is a plot premise and some side characters too. shdks #i thought abt them a couple months ago but then i watched strictly ballroom w sophie n i was reminded of them again #anyway im not good at coming up w fully fleshed out stories i just like to doodle ppl n think of random connected scenarios sometimes sdjk #i did a mini free online life drawing course in the break n i tried to apply what i learnt here.... i will keep practising when i can.....#well. if u read all the way to the end. hello :) KJASKA #im going to shower....

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big8cola · 1 year

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Hi

#✌️✌️✌️✌️✌️✌️not really been posting much art recently tbh ive kinda been veering away from doing fanart the last few months #I saw spiderverse i thought it was really good though i found the pacing was kindof weird. Gwen was literally the deutragonist of that movi #And i see like no fan content of her.. at least in comparison to other characters...😭 brraks my heart #I have prom tomorrow☝️ killing myself #I started listening to that percy jackson podcast. Pretty ok even though they mention h*rry potter like twice per episode... School just go #out for me so ive mostly been spending my time listening to that and playing papas freezeria... Really awesome #Next year is my last year of hs tbh idk what im doing post secondary i think i might go live with my aunt in bc for a tear...ik i dont wann #stay where i live rn #Was abt to dox myself LOL even though id probably be one of three total tumblr users from where i live😭#Life is pretty good atm... Not much to complain abt honestly #Summer is going to cause a major metaphorical stock market crash in my intake of ice coffee drinks which is a little heartbreaking #Honestly this past year has been one of my best..ive made alot of good friends and ive started painting and bouldering... Idk #Lowkey thinking about deleting or retiring this account. I think it does more harm than good to me sometimes

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puppyeared · 6 months

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Xin Ya is so cute and well designed! more a question than a comment but I just love your style

thank u!! im currently redoing bits of their backstory and design so hopefully ill get some more art of them up soon

#ive already shared a bit of it with crow but rn im reworking their personality and backstory #mostly bc ive decided to change it a little and made baby xin real. so they do start off as a tiny little guy #and then grow at a normal pace. also took out the trauma so they dont know anything abt the circumstances of their creation #but now ive replaced it with bigger trauma >:o) hehehehe #i dont really have anything to fixate on and lmk kind of died off in my neurons a while ago so im just drawing whatever comes to mind #idk if id call it an artblock though cause i have the itch to draw but im not really sure WHAT to draw. maybe ill make character designs #for fun and post them here... or maybe ill work on my oc stories idk............#although i have been meaning to make a voice claim video for xin and an animatic idea ive had for months but idk how long that will take #im rambling but yes!! thank u for the kind words!!! it makes me happy to hear ppl love my designs hehehe #if i got myself to draw more furry art im sure i could have a lot of fun with that.. or opened myself up to the idea of multiple sonas #god i have so many ideas for sonas.. id love to make myself some sort of badger or stoat sona cause they look cool #yapping #ask

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swaggy-transfag · 2 months

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Thought of making a post abt my struggles with communicating and getting my thoughts out in words. But then i was struggling too much abt how to word it so it made sense, so i gave up

#it can be so so tiring to try to squish my thoughts into words sometimes #it just doesnt feel natural and it never represents them good enough #everyday i wish for somekind of mindreading so others could just get what i was thinking #but instead i have to struggle everyday to not even do my thoughts justice #its so frustrating to just sit and try to get something out #often my mind just blanks and i cant grasp any words #its so humiliating bc ppl just assume im kinda dumb or stmh and i cant even prove them wrong cuz i cant translate my thoughts properly #i wanna tell ppl abt my struggles so they can understand #and also so they dont make fun of me anymore for it #but then i have to get the courage and also be able to explain it properly #aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa #its so weird i can usually get my point across (like rn) but it doesnt really feel like my words #talking for me mostly feels like clipping out a newspaper and then assemble all the usefull words k could find into what i want #i really really wanna try to unmask more #and just own the fact that im actually disabled #okay now im just rambling i think #point is im frustrated and sad that mindreading isnt possible

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opens-up-4-nobody · 8 months

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#yet again i fail to convince my counselor i have executive function problems. mostly its bc i dont think well in the moment but also i just #feel kinda weird rn so i was having trouble making my thoughts connect. but i swear to christ i do have problems making my executives #function. i think the issue is im a grad student so i do well in school. not that it matters bc i kno loads of grad students with pretty #god awful adhd. one of my former lab mates was like. Adderall barely made her normal. and yet she was still a phd student #so like. its possible to have executive function issues as a grad student. the problem with me is the obsessive thoughts and self #destructive behavior so to her it sounds like im telling myself that i cant get my brain to work unless i put myself under extreme pressure #rather than i cant get my brain to work so to cope im putting myself under extreme pressure bc if i dont nothing gets done #but like fucking if i try to relax i dont do things. i cant clean my kitchen or my room or take out the trash or do my laundry #and im not like not doing it bc i dont wanna. these things r causing me active distress but i cant flip the switch that makes them happen #ive gotta write a grant proposal. read a paper. and find a paper to discuss by tomorrow morning. i had time to do all of this before but i #didnt do it. y didnt i do it? fucking i dont kno. ugh. whatever. i got refered to a psychiatrist so well see what happens there #i did accidentally set the meeting to when i meet with my advisor tho. oops. also my counselor said it sounds like im a rat running on a #wheel. which is accurate but also a really fucking funny thing to have said abt u. ur r a scrawny neglected lil rat. boohoo.#idk what type of medication she thinks i should b on. like what symptom r we trying to exhaust? the 0cd or the mood issues?#i dont even kno what the issue is. not that i guess it matters. idk. i need to read and write. fucking hell #unrelated

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wereh0gz · 2 days

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The itch to redesign sonic and tails again is strong......

#ramblings #since i've mostly finished project: new moon i've thought abt what sonic and tails actually look like in the fic #and they're different from my previous redesigns of them. like a bit closer to canon #at least at the start for sonic. i like the idea of him changing slightly after his first transformation #i also wanna have a unique design for his super form. for Reasons #and change the way i draw his werehog form a tiny bit #there's a lot of things i wanna do with this redesign. but i can't do it rn bc i have something else i gotta work on #alas it will have to wait. but i'll get to it soon

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sickgraymeat · 1 year

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It’s funny that I can only read/write AT fanfic that’s both (a) canon compliant and (b) not too sad by my (very sensitive baby) standards, bc ofc those things contradict each other a lot

#OH and throw in there no smut #my library is so small 😭#some of my fics are definitely too sad but I wrote them so its different?#blah I did a lot of writing abt how I can’t write today abdbsbndnsb it’s making me mad #mostly just that I like to write until I realize that what I’m writing is horrible terrible disgusting shit trash #jus talkin #adventure time #I just love canon and especially post canon!!!!! it’s so good there’s so much there #I do have a draft of a regular world modern day au and it’s fun to think abt but .. canon is more fun #also I think things feel less sad in the canon universe bc they by nature can’t be 100% exactly like our universe #plus I love my girls being immortal (ish?)…. bubbline ♾️#sorry I’m so sleepy today I’m just sayin stuff how is it like almost early evening rn what’s hallenjng #I hate that I can’t write anything that has like. grit or whatever. like I feel like no one wants to read this elmo baby shit but me #(& i don’t like the way I execute it)#like I wish I could write stuff that’s idk. cool.#that’s it ahdbbdndn

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anaalnathrakhs · 11 days

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"people love you uwu people care about you" okay? not my problem. love me less. can we work out a reasonable level of care where it's obviously not cool if horrible things happen to me, a human being, and you won't do any horrible thing to me, but you don't feel obligated to fuss over anything out of the ordinary i do and i have to shut up about it and perform Normal Human Emotions lest i commit an awful social faux pas and hurt your feelings?

#like idk. can you care about stuff that matters? i guess is what i'm asking?#sorry that my own self-directed problems hurt you <3 #sorry that i'm a horrible person if i talk about it and a horrible person if i don't <3 #i just shouldn't have problems i guess cant believe i didnt think abt that #sorry i don't really care if people would be sad to see me die #would actually be pretty nice to get past the huge feeling of guilt over not being helpful all the fucking time #like i can't go through life being a service dog for everybody around me #(and i dont to be clear. it's not possible and when i say i feel guilty over not doing it it doesn't mean i do 100% of the time)#(i do try to be helpful and useful and i hate missing an opportunity but also i don't have 24/7 free of obligations)#(and i can't magically spot and correctly understand what could need help)#(but i feel like it does take up a good portion of my life. mostly bc everybody around me has Problems rn)#(and because the overlap of ''things that feel good for me'' and ''things that are good for other people'' is pretty small so far)#it's just. yknow. i would like it if for once i could express a negative feeling without it being a huge offense to people around me #ejhrkthrjeh i know i'm just asking the universe if pretty please my actions could have zero consequences and it's overall unrealistic #but like. god. i wish for once it was met with indifference. casual vibes. not a huge deal yknow.#some of my friends do sometimes! it's nice! but of course i can't talk abt the problems that directly include them #i know it makes me so shit at reacting to ppls problems. like either i overcompensate with the worry cuz i feel like thats what they want #or i react coldly and dont provide anything useful to the situation #broadcasting my misery #vent

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