#bc lets be real that's kind of what mondays have become

[windwardstar]

So like the whole "they don't put any effort into presenting not-femme and are still femme presenting so I'm just going to treat them as a woman still and not take their identity seriously" has always just been an excuse to misgender people and dismiss the trans identities of people who don't perform gender to the person's standards.

And it's always couched in terms of "not bothering" to bind or dress masculinely or have long hair or continue to wear makeup and who "aren't able" to access hrt or surgeries or whatever. Because it gives the person plausible deniability to say "I'm not talking about those trans people who are really trans and just can't meet my new gender performing standards for legitimate reasons, I'm talking about those fake trans who just say they're trans but don't actually put in any effort"

And like. You have no way of knowing who is in the closet and unable to transition for safety, who is not able to access resources for medical transition, who is comfortable with their current appearance and has no desire to pursue surgeries or hrt or change anything about themselves as part of their transition. There is no way of knowing just from looking at someone whether or not they meet your criteria in order to take their identity seriously.

And also like. The further I get in my transition and the more things I'm able to access the more it's like... I've had top surgery. I'm on T. I've had short hair. I've dressed in men's clothes. And I've been gendered as female 100% of the time throughout everything. Because despite all that my face still reads as feminine and my voice despite dropping still reads as feminine. My hair is currently in a femme style. And I don't care to change those things because with all the other ways I've been able to transition I'm comfortable in my body and they don't cause me dysphoria. But they're enough to make me "present femme" in a way that doesn't make cis people pause before assuming I'm a woman, and any of the ways I have been able to masculinize my body get registered and then dismissed as things I've actively cultivated and instead get me read as transfemme by other trans people. Because apparently in order to not assumed to be a girl I have to remove every trace of anything feminine from my existence.

And then it's also like. The expectation of performing non-femininity of performing masculinity or degendering androgyny to the appropriate standards in order to have your identity respected is just like. If you're just existing in your body, just throwing on jeans and a t shirt and letting yourself exist as is, is like how is that presenting "femininely"??? just because you're afab and existing is not inherently "presenting feminine". And like when you couple that with not binding...which uh it can be choice but also like... binding is the active choice here where you have to get a binder and put on the binder and choose to use the binder. Again there's no way of looking at someone and being able to tell if they're not binding because they can't due to medical or financial or safety reasons or just due to personal choice. And so the idea that not binding is presenting as inherently feminine is just. Not binding is the default existence of the body and shouldn't be gendered as a presentation choice + nobody should be required to change anything about themselves in order to have their identity respected.

...anyway I have a bunch of thoughts about existing as a trans masc enby and being read as feminine and being misgendered. Hope some of the train of thought ramble vent rant made sense.

#monday trans ramble #bc lets be real that's kind of what mondays have become

[oneforthemunny]

thinking of the sweet side of rockstar!eddie and all the tiny things he'd start doing when he and nb officially start dating:

like how he always lets her have the booth (duh) bc he's a gentleman. and how he knows her drink order by heart. any drink order. how she likes her coffee, and he always orders her a little pastry because she'll never get one for herself.

or when he takes her to hawkins, he'll take her to the diviest dive bars just for the experience. she never had fried pickles, and he considered that a crime, so he flew her out to a place in georgia that had "the best fuckin' fried pickles, babe, swear. if it's your first time trying them, we gotta do it right."

he bought a decanter for her bedside when she started staying over more and more because she always gets thirsty in the middle of the night. he's so proud when he first shows her. "i had no clue what it was called, so i was tellin' the sales lady and it took us forever to figure it out. she kept thinkin' i wanted a pitcher."

he was always a roses guy on the rare occasion he bought a girl flowers, until he realized that there were so many other kinds. she always has fresh flowers in her kitchen, and he wanted her to have them at his place too. so he made it a weekly responsibility of his assistant. he'd call the local florist, have them make up some elaborate bouquet for the week and surprise her. every monday without fail. even when he was away.

gets a vanity put in his room. it's random, she didn't even say anything, but he noticed how she'd sit on the floor by the window and get ready. he wanted her to be comfortable so he had one delivered.

how slowly his bachelor pad of a house turns into a shared space for the two. small pieces of her mixing in with him, becoming their own. the bed still has posts with loops, but a comforter and throw pillows too. the living room has stupid memorabilia he bought bc he could (a real lightsaber from the movies, and a suit or armor???) but also now has wall art.

#oneforthemunny #munnytalks #rockstar!eddie munson #rockstar!eddie munson x nepo baby!reader #rockstar!eddie x reader #eddie munson au #eddie munson x fem!reader fluff #eddie munson fluff #eddie x fem!reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x you

[unorcadox]

UNORCADOX

howdy, i'm mabel! it's the 3 year anniversary of unorcadox today, so i've prepared a decent bit of surprises. (and yes that means i started this blog in 2020, which is terrifying to think about.) i'll go into those new things under the cut, but first... check out the carrd linked in the header text of this post :3c

sooo soo so so so where on earth do i begin. uhh honestly let me just break down the new stuff first since i can talk about that more easily.

THE NEW LOOK! ok so like truth be told, i've been a faceless blog on purpose up until now. it wasn't until this summer where i actually liked how i looked or had any solid sense of my own aesthetic or what i wanted to look like. it also made it easier to protect against dysphoria and transphobes in the same breath, as no one could ever comment on any aspect of my appearance, or even the mere suggestion i even had one to begin with! but that all changes now, i'm going to actually have a presence on this blog, as it is MY blog and tbh i'm tired of being so faceless on here. that's why i've been doing more asks and non-edit posts recently, and those will increase in frequency. check out the carrd for more info, my sona's ref, and art credits for assets on here <3

mondays -> MUSIC MONDAYS! so it might come as a shock i'm actually a musician in addition to making stuff on here! i've promoted my music a couple of times by now, but nothing all that substantial. sooo, considering that, i'm going to be replacing monday oc posts with a music post! just a link to a song on my bandcamp and a little description about it. i don't really care if these perform particularly well, but i want to give people a chance to actually hear it without having to deep dive through my entire internet history to get it. i also will be releasing more soon-- whether via compilations of older work or new stuff altogether :3

MORE IN THE FUTURE! i have a couple other ideas up my sleeve, we'll see how they pan out but i wanna keep trying new possibilities on here. i think at this point i've proven my consistency, and it's about time i let myself have a little fun and explore my options. these will be announced individually but probably added here over time as this is the new pinned post lol.

----- ----- -----

ok so anyways, i do wanna have the mandatory sappy segment because of course i do. i want to say a couple of things but i'll split them into bullet points again bc yeah i do that.

this year has been really good for me and the blog, in most ways it's been the straight up best year of my life uncontested. not everything has gone perfectly, i had other plans that fell through, but hey that's just how life goes huh. at one point, i was easily projected to hit 20k by the end of the year, and now i'll be happy if i hit 17k lol. tumblr has not been that kind to my blog's growth this year and it's making me consider other options in the future, but everything's so scary rn i don't wanna commit to anything.

as for the blog itself, i've kinda been in a weird spot with it for a while. i've been scraping by on here intermittently for the entire year on and off, and i might have some ways to help keep me on top of the ball during the next year, but i also do wonder how long i can really keep doing this, and how long people will still like weirdcore and my work in particular. i've been considering branching out in terms of my presentation, or format, or style, but i feel incredibly weird about doing so.

in my personal life, this is the year i finally started transitioning and seeking treatment for my most pressing issues. i've finally started dating the love of my life, my best friend of 10 years, and despite some interpersonal turmoil all around me, i think i'm finally finding safe ground and knowing what i wanna do next. i don't really talk about it on here because i'm very private about it, but i've been kinda slowly becoming like a Real Adult Person this year. i didn't really have much of a chance to prior and i still am struggling a lot, but hey i know what i want now!

it's really silly to say but this blog still means a lot to me! it's seen me through the craziest times in my entire life, it's brought me so much perspective and knowledge and opportunities i wouldn't've had otherwise. i wake up every day and go on here and never stop feeling starstruck that people chose to follow me. i know tumblr success means nothing but to me it's the only community i've ever actually belonged to, so thank you all.

ok so like i really just don't have much else to say anymore, so i think i'll end it there! thank you all again, i can't wait for year 4 as it's going to definitely be a crazy one lol. let's hope it's a good one too!

#not edits

[spade-riddles]

Submission:

This is an optimistic take, but maybe the 9 words ahead of the ellipsis in the final few Spade riddles are the "nine that sit in [the Ides of March's] view." I had never thought to count the words before, thanks @chickawah23!

Those riddles were sent in June, which was 9 months ago. Maybe the first 9 words/letters ("THEY ARE FR") indicate 1 month each. Which takes us to this month, March, and coincides with the Ides of March.

Reminder: The Ides of March was the date Caesar was assassinated in 44 BC. (By the way, Kayda currently has 44 posts on her insta.) The Ides were also a deadline for settling debts... which kind of sounds to me like a day for getting even/getting back at the people who have wronged you.

Taylor put "Et tu, Brute?" in the LWYMMD music video. That's a line made famous by Shakespeare's play, Julius Caesar. Let me draw some parallels between the play and Taylor's life.

In the play: Caesar and Brutus are friends/friendly. A group of conspirators convinces Brutus to help them assassinate Caesar for the good of Rome-- they're afraid he'll become too powerful. Brutus eventually agrees to help. The Ides of March come and the conspirators stab Caesar 23 times. The final blow comes from Brutus, and in the play, Caesar says, "Et tu, Brute?" meaning, "And you, Brutus?" Someone he trusted turned against him and delivered the final blow.

After Caesar's death, his reputation actually improves as people remember the good things he did for them. The assassins are driven out of town. Brutus is visited by Caesar's ghost one night, who tells him, "I'll see you at Phillipi." Meaning, Brutus will be defeated at the battle of Phillipi. This ends up being true-- Brutus is defeated and dies by suicide.

In real life: I'm thinking Taylor is Caesar and maybe Brutus represents SB2? Taylor gets stabbed in the back by Sc*tt, who she trusted. She's dead. "You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same." Taylor is redeemed after her "death" and SB2 are pretty widely hated.

But Taylor is still haunting SB2... taunting them about their upcoming defeat. "You know I didn't want to have to haunt you / But what a ghostly scene." "If I'm on fire, you'll be made of ashes too." "I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time." "They strike to kill and you know I will."

This leads us to the battle, which is another metaphor Taylor uses. "So yeah, it's a war, it's the goddamn fight of my life..." Maybe Taylor herself doesn't win the war, but neither of the SBs win either. And after they're defeated, well... "You'll poke that bear till her claws come out / Then you'll find something to wrap your noose around." (Figuratively, in case that's not clear.)

Long story short, Monday is the Ides. It's 9 months and a few days after the "..." riddle. Optimistically, maybe SB2 will see some karma next week. Maybe the previous nine months were the worst of it, and now that we're through it... well, there are only two letters/words left after the ellipsis. Maybe in the next couple of months, everyone will be exonerated. Which takes us to June, Pride month, when THEY ARE FREE is completed.

In the full riddle, the "…🖤." could mean something is over in May and the "..." means we had to wait-- the riddle was foreshadowing. The black heart was sent on May 31, 2020. And if you assume the "..." is the month of March, "Revolution" is February, "Fervent" is January, and so on, the black heart is May.

So my interpretation is that the full riddle means, "Something ends on May 31, 2021. Then THEY ARE FREE." Possibly April and May will be easier to "see through" than the prior 9 months? Then freedom in June? I hope so.

#well done Anon #submission

[cara-terra-pace]

RICH NEIGHBORS PART 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

Part 1 THE GABRIELING

-wow does Lila get absolutely C R E A M E D in this au.

-almost makes you feel bad.

-almost

-since we got Mr Felix “I don’t need friends. They disappoint me” Agreste here, you better believe this girl gets exposed faster than you can say “Watermelon Kids”.

-(I mean Felix quotes that vine all the time to his FRIENDS so it sorta doesn’t apply but whatever you get what I mean.)

-Lila lies immediately about Marinette. But she obviously doesn’t know it’s Marinette, because Marinette goes by Marie Mêler, and not Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

-it’s actually kind of funny because Noel Bulles (I’m going with Nino’s brother’s name being Chris, not Noel because I needed a name and Noel was the best one so) or Nino Lahiffe also overhears her bragging about being best friends with him, just as he had said about Marinette.

-“oh Marinette Dupain Cheng and I are besties! Us and Nino Lahiffe, we’re like this!” She grins, crossing her fingers to signify how close they are.

-Oh heck to the no!

-Marinette is now becoming angry and that’s not good, so Felix decides “hey, I’ve met Dupain Cheng and Lahiffe before, and they are almost never in the public eye. It’s basically impossible for that to be true. But if you want to continue trying to make this class your sheeple, be my guest. You’ll see what happens when you do.”

-silence

-And the entire class kind of explodes

-everyone realizes that, hmm, yeah that’s a bit suspicious.

-there was no reason for Felix to lie about that, because they know that this 17 year old that acts like some 30 something businessman literally could care less about the class liking him.

-They immediately are more cautious of Lila’s words, and when she starts talking about Jagged and his cat, that really brings it home.

-they ignore her.

-they aren’t mean to her, since that’s just not anyone’s style. Chloe went to homeschool a few years ago, and that’s the only real “bully” they had.

-but they don’t take anything she says seriously. Lila eventually realizes that the lying is not working. So she just stops talking as much, moves to the back of the classroom without prompting, and plans her next move.

-“that wasn’t too bad!” You say, forgetting that there is more.

-Watermelon kids and their reveal!

-Marie is Marinette Dupain Cheng?!

-Noel is Nino Lahiffe?!

-Lila, who hadn’t really talked in weeks except to attempt to gain some sort of sympathy, paled immediately when she was confronted with it on Monday morning.

-“this is proof that you were definitely lying. You should be glad Felix stopped me before I put that video of you on my blog.”

-Alya Cesaire everyone!

-she has a blog where just writes about different attractions and news in Paris. She figured getting such a scoop from the best friend of two never seen in public rich kids would really jump start her blog.

-Felix and Adrien stopped her, Adrien being nice and calm about it and Felix telling her it would be idiotic to post the interview without sources.

-and she listens, bc even though she’s still hopeful that Lila is telling the truth, it does sound a bit too good to be true.

-Alya is still best friends with our baby Mari.

-it’s different than in canon but they hang out at Alya’s a lot, sometimes when Mari stays at the bakery she’ll invite Alya over, and basically they are inseparable

-Alya isn’t really into romance, at least not for herself since she’s trying to kickstart a career, but when she sees the budding romances between Mari and Felix and Adrien and Nino

-Madamoiselle Matchmaker at your service.

-but enough of my girl Alya

-lets get back to the WATERMELON KIDS

-they are both so awkward after the reveal.

-people in class are all starry eyed and it’s weird because okay, they were both nice and well known in the class and throughout the school

-BUT THIS IS NEXT LEVEL

-Mari basically sticks close to her friends because when she gets overwhelmed, they help her out a ton.

-Nino tries to be chill and it’s not working.

-but the thing is, now people either try to become best friends with them for the benefits, or they insult them because they’re rich kids

-and, yeah it doesn’t really bother them.

-sticks and stones, you know?

-but then someone insulted Alya, saying she’s a suck up and she’s just hanging around the group so she can get a scoop and expose their secrets and stuff.

-and Mari and Nino actually go off.

-that is their little baby reporter friend who can definitely take care of herself and doesn’t need to play dirty to get good news and be a great reporter thank you very much

-they can handle being insulted themselves, but touch their friends and family and it’s game over.

-Alya finds it very sweet

-she does remind them that she can take care of herself, but thanks them for backing her up

-Emile Agreste

-woah where did she come from???

-there’s a movie premiere in Paris and she’s attending and Adrien is like !!!

-Felix is just kind of... standoffish when she’s in town??

-he’s just bitter that both his mother and father are distant and his dad’s assistant is more of a mother figure to him at this point.

-btw, Nathalie is so done. She sometimes cries in her office, which sounds really sad until you learn she is just leaning her head on the wall and crying as she bangs her head.

-ma’am please take a month off and take a vacation

-but she can’t because she loves the boys too much

-she’s emile’s best friend, and so when she gets kind of mad at em for being gone so much, everyone’s really surprised.

-she’s walking into the premiere with a tablet in her hands and Emile is like “wow I missed you and Gabe so much!!!”

-and Felix and Adrien are RIGHT THERE LIKE-

-and Nathalie just snaps

-“obviously not enough to actually take a break. Felix, Adrien, it’s time to go into the theatre. Your father won’t be joining us, he didn’t deem this important enough to attend in person.”

-mari and Nino are nearby and OH DO YOU NEED SOME ICE FOR THAT BURN MADAME AGRESTE

-what was I talking about?

-oh yeah, back to fashion.

-that’s Marinette right there, making new designs.

-she does special celebrity commissions and gifts herself, but they have tons of other designers and seamstresses helping with the actual mass production of lines.

-Mari’s first fashion show is a collaboration between DC and LE. They provide the runway music and have live up and comers, and Mari does the same, with smaller designers presenting their lines before Mari’s and her’s being the final and the crown jewel.

-she jump started a lot of careers that way, both in the music and fashion industries.

-the watermelon kids are on every teen magazine

-they are huge in America

-both of them traveled there to just get a better feel of American culture, fashion, and music and wow

-paparazzi

-EVERYWHERE

-Nino meets some American singers and convinces his mother that an American location would be good for the company

-Marinette does the same, insisting that it would be full of profit

-it works and the summer following the reveal, Marinette, Nino, Alya, and the Agreste Twins all go to America.

-which will be elaborated on in Part 3!

This whole thing was sort of a mess lol

I jumped around a lot but most of these were the first ideas that popped into my head and it was a lot of fun to create.

(Note: if you guys want to be tagged, just let me know and you’ll be added to the taglist!)

Taglist: @animegirlweeb

#rich neighbors au #miraculous ladybug #miraculous #ladybug #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #chat noir #chloe bourgeois #alya cesaire #carapace #nino lahiffe #watermelon kids #felix agreste #ml felinette #agreste twins

[moneymingyu]

Like in The Movies

summary: in which hoshi watches way too many romance movies and has too many friends who like to watch him suffer.

word count: 2.7k words

pairing: nonidol!hoshi x reader

genre: fluff, comedy

a/n: not very proof read bc i’m super exhausted and my eyes are barely opened atm.

master list

Hoshi has always had this romanticized version of himself playing in the back of his mind.

The cool dude next to the jukebox with a leather jacket who flips a coin then plays the soundtrack to his life. The guy who you spill coffee all over in a Seattle coffee shop then exchange numbers as a form of an apology. The best friend you ask to fake date before realizing he’s been the one for you since day one. The enemy to lover, the boy next door, the childhood best friend you reunite with after years of separation. He partly blames it on all of the movies he watched growing up. A guilty pleasure of his has always been romance movies that he’d watch deep into the night when everything was still and calm. His favorites were the kinds that had him struggling to keep his hiccup at bay, the kinds that made him cry so hard that he’d wake up the next day with swollen eyes and a headache.

“Aren’t you tired of these movies?” Jihoon, his long time best friend and roommate, would ask.

“Never,” Hoshi would reply, unashamed.

He’s seen them all. The Notebook, More Than Blue, The Names of Love, Love Actually. Hoshi can quote them line by line with the same blocking. His friends think it’s impressive but Jihoon is tired of walking into the kitchen at 2AM just to see a Broadway musical in place.

So you’d think that somebody who is basically a book smart Romeo would have a better dating history but...Not Hoshi.

Look. It’s not Hoshi’s fault he’s so awkward. He didn’t ask for the lonely life! The lonely life chose him! So what if romance movies are the only way that he can feel butterflies in his stomach. Whose business is it other than his own?

“Hey Hosh! Remember that time freshman year your crush asked you to the spring fling and you responded by doing a tiger growl at them?”

“Oh my god, I almost forgot about that!” Jun covers his face, bursting into giggles at Jihoon’s trip down memory lane. “He got called a furry for the rest of the year!”

“Oh yeah? And who sat and ate lunch with said furry for the rest of the year?” Hoshi crosses his arms. “Till the day, you’re still eating lunch with the said furry!” A few head turn their way, giving the table an incredulous look. Hoshi sinks in his chair, silently wishing that the floor open and swallow him hole.

“Well maybe that’s because said furry is paying today,” Wonwoo smirks, swiping a fry from Hoshi’s plate.

“Aw, not you too!” Hoshi pouts. “Wonwoo, I put all my faith into you and this is what I get? Slander like a salamander?”

“I’m sorry, what?” Jun (who, in Hoshi’s opinion, has said way more questionable things) asks with raised eyebrows.

“Nevermind. It sounded better in my head.” Hoshi sighs, pressing his fingers to his temples.

“C’mon Hoshi,” Wonwoo leans his head on his shoulder. “You know I was kidding. I would sit with you even if you were a real furry.”

“Can we stop talking about furries?!”

“Yo. What do you got against furries? We don’t kink shame around here.”

“Jun, if you say one more thing, I’m going to do an eagle screech right here.”

“That’s not really helping with the furry situation,” Jun mumbles under his breath.

Hoshi decides right then and there that he needs to invest in new friends for the sake of his sanity.

-

“I’m sure somebody likes you, Soon!” Seungkwan offers. “What about the dance studio? Lots of potential there,” he shimmies his shoulders while Dokyeom nudged him from the other side of the couch.

These are his people, he thinks as they watch My Sassy Girl for the tenth time this week.

“He’s right! You’re always a ball of confidence there! Why not try to pick somebody up? Oh!” Dokyeom looks like a lightbulb has gone off inside his head. “What about the receptionist? They’re cute! I heard they’re single too and with Valentine’s Day coming up-“

“Dokyeom! Don’t talk about the V word!”

“Virginity?”

“The other V-word!”

“V-vagi-“

“VALENTINES DAY!” Seungkwan smacks his hand over his mouth like the saying had seared his tongue.

“Oh my god, Valentine’s Day is coming up!” Hoshi whines, pulling his knees up to his chest and burying his face in them. “I’m going to be alone again!”

“Hey! You always spend Valentine’s Day with us!” Dokyeom frowns.

“We’re going to be alone again!” he moans out.

Seungkwan scoffs. “Speak for yourself. I have a date.”

This causes Soonyoung’s head to snap up. “Huh? A date?” Seungkwan nods, crossing his arms and turning his nose up. “Ah, c’mon! Who is it! You know you wanna tell us!”

“I would tell you if I knew who it was,” Seungkwan sighs, falling back into the couch. “Vernon and Dino set me up on a blind date. Wait? Should I ask them to set you up on one too? You know, Dino’s really good at using Tinder. He made me a profile and then swiped with matches for me and now I’m going on a blind date! Wait, should me and Dokyeom make you one? Quick Dokyeom, what would be the anthem to Hoshi’s life?”

Hoshi gawks at how quick his friends are to move. Seungkwan already has the dating app open while Dokyeom searches up the Les Misérable soundtrack. “Can you guys not?” Hoshi frowns.

But it’s too late. His words are unheard as Dokyeom starts to belt out the words to “Do You Hear the People Sing?” all while Seungkwan is editing pictures of Hoshi for his profile picture.

Hoshi decides right then and there that he needs to invest in new friends for the sake of his sanity.

-

“Thanks for inviting me out, Joshua! I needed some new shoes.”

Joshua is one of the sanest people Hoshi knows. Hoshi thinks it’s because he’s from LA and the people from LA in all the movies he’s watched are super carefree and accepting.

“Don’t mention it,” Joshua smiles while shoving his feet into a pair of slides. “Jeonghan broke my slides yesterday while taking out the trash and tried to pin it on Kkuma. Seungcheol then lectured us for two hours about how we shouldn’t blame things on his daughter then made Jeonghan transfer me the money.”

“Isn’t Kkuma a dog?..” Hoshi smiles from the bench across from him.

“You know Cheol,” Joshua chuckles. “Actually, I also invited you out because I have to ask you a favor! You can object, of course, and I won’t be mad.” Hoshi nods, signaling the older to go on. “Well, actually...The three of us are going away for the weekend. And we usually ask Mingyu and Myungho to watch Kkuma when we’re gone but Myungho has this giant art exhibition and Mingyu’s working double shifts at his bakery so-“ he shrugs. “I think you know where I’m going with this. Could you dog sit Kkuma for us? I’m sure Jihoon will be fine with it. But if you have plans for the Valentine’s Day weekend-“

“No!” Hoshi sighs in relief. “Please give me Kkuma. I’m begging at this point!” Joshua laughs, nodding his head. “You really saved my ass, hyung. The guys are trying to set me up on a blind date but I checked out Seungkwan’s phone while he was in the bathroom and none of them were my type.”

“Consider it a deal,” Joshua smiles, reaching across and ruffling his hair. “Knew I could count on you, Soonie.” Hoshi smiles. He’s so glad to have a friend like Joshua. He really keeps his sanity in tact.

-

Hoshi decides right then and there that he needs to invest new friends for the sake of his sanity.

Kkuma has been barking nonstop all night, whining and crying and even peed in Hoshi’s brand new pair of shoes.

Hoshi doesn’t even know why Kkuma hates him so much but the dog’s antics are enough to have Jihoon packing up and telling him he’ll be back Monday afternoon before leaving to Jun and Wonwoo’s apartment. To make matters worse, Joshua told Hoshi that their trip was technology free so that they could “become spiritually woke.” So any hopes of calling for advice is hopeless.

Hoshi doesn’t understand why Kkuma hates him. He’s a very likeable guy, in his opinion. Bobpul (Mingyu’s dog) would never treat him like this.

“Kkuma, please!” he whines. “I’m standing up a date for this! Please spare me some mercy!” he cries out. The dog jumps up and barks repeatedly. He rubs his eyes over his face. “I don’t understand how something so tiny can make so much noise!”

He rubs his temples. “Okay. If I were Seungcheol, what would I do? Think like Seungcheol. What would Seungcheol do?” Hoshi pouts his lips, puffs out his chest and lowers his voice. “Yah! Kim Mingyu! Watch where you’re walking!” he imitates him from the thousands of times the group has hung out.

He holds the position for a couple of seconds before deflating. “I can’t even hear myself think!” he groans over the barking. “You haven’t even slept yet! Aren’t you tired?” Suddenly an idea pops into his mind.

“I know! Let’s go to the park! Maybe that’ll tire you out! Would you like that? Let’s go!” And they’re off within ten minutes.

It’s a nice day out, thankfully. Warm but not too hot. And though Kkuma is jumping with joy to be at the park, Hoshi thinks he’d rather be at home listening to the dog’s endless whining when he sees the grassy area is packed with couples having a picnic.

He can’t hate, honestly. Picnics are cliché and Hoshi is all for clichés. But it does remind him that today is Valentine’s day and he’s the only one here without somebody to hold hands with.

“Kkuma, you’ll be my Valentine. Right?” he asks as he unclips her leash. But sadly, the dog has other plans as she runs off to play with another dog.

He sighs, plopping down in the grass and picking at the blades. He can’t believe that Kkuma ditched him. After Hoshi bought a new frisbee just for them to play with! He’s deeply offended and will not let Seungcheol live it down when he comes back.

He gives up trying to braid the grass and leans back on his hands, watching the other couples and making up stories about them in their head. He guesses how they met, what their plans are for the day and almost plays it out like a movie in his head.

He’s contemplating becoming a director but then decides that’s too hard and decides maybe he should try writing fanfiction on Archive of Our Own. He’s already picking out his favorite ships from Monsta X when he suddenly hears a shriek from behind him.

“Oh no!” the person whines. “I can’t believe I stepped in dog-“

“Shit!” Hoshi pops up as he sees Kkuma standing at the sidewalk. He sees the disgruntled look on your face then looks down at Kkmua, who looks the happiest she’s been since Hoshi got her. “Hi!” he says rather worriedly. “I’m so sorry! This is my fault! I wasn’t watching Kkuma and to be honest, this dog kind of hates me but here!” He shoves a packet of tissues he had in his back pocket into your hands. “You can have these! Wait I think I have wet wipes in my bag. Just give me a second and,” he drops to his knees, fumbling with his backpack, “Kkuma is just a baby but I promise she’s not usually like this! She’s so well behaved but I think she has some kind of hidden agenda against me because her dad took me out to eat pork belly the other week. Oh! Here they are! Here, do you want me to wipe it off for you? I don’t mind! It’s my fault and plus, I’ve been picking up Kkuma’s dog poop all day. For somebody so small, she sure does poop a lot! And-“ Hoshi suddenly freezes, a heat rising up from the back of his neck onto his cheeks and into his ears.

Seriously?! he thinks. You seriously went on a rant about dog poop! Just when I thought I had some hope in you, Soonyoung, you prove me wrong again! You’re gonna die alone! You hear me? ALONE!

Hoshi slowly brings himself up from his kneeling position. “I mean...” he awkwardly laughs. And to his surprise, you laugh back. But not in a mocking way like people usually do. You seem genuinely amused by his rant.

“Hey, it’s fine. I’m over it,” you giggle. “I just have to be dramatic about it first.” Hoshi nods slowly, too scared to say anything else. “My names YN.”

“Soonyoung,” he bows slightly. “But my friends call me Hoshi.”

“Oh! Like tiger gaze?” you ask, making claws at him for emphasis.

“Oh! Uh! Exactly, actually!” he grins.

You nod. “I think I’ve heard of you actually,” you explain. “My friend works at Seventeen Dance Company and he’s always talking about his funny friend Hoshi.”

“Oh? Who’s your friend? I must know them!”

“It’s Minghao,” you reply. “I was actually on my way to his art exhibition.” Hoshi nods his head, understanding. “Were you not going to go?”

“Myungho doesn’t like when our friend group goes to his art exhibitions. We got fired after Mingyu had one too many drinks and started to strip talking about some ‘life imitates art’ while standing next to a bust.” His face flushes an even deeper red. “I’m sorry! I don’t know when to shut up sometimes. I’m not good at this.”

You shrug, “I’m having fun.”

“Really?” Hoshi gasps.

You nod. “Yeah. Now c’mon, give me those wet wipes. You’re gonna come with me to Hao’s event. He told me I can bring a plus one and the venue is pet friendly!”

-

“And that’d how I met YN!” Hoshi grins at the round table of his friends.

“I can’t believe romance movie enthusiast met the person of his dreams over dog poop,” Jeonghan scoffs. “I’m taking full credit for this relationship, by the way. I call best man at the wedding.”

“What? Why do you get credit?!” Seungkwan rebuttals.

“Because the weekend get away was my idea,” he smirks.

“Yeah well Kkuma is my dog so I should be the best man!” Seungcheol argues.

“Hold up. If it weren’t for me and Seungkwan making Hoshi a tinder, who knows what would’ve happened this weekend while he was avoiding us,” Dokyeom points outs out, crossing his arms.

“But Vernon and I were the ones who taught Seungkwan how to even use tinder!” Dino retorts.

Jun scoffs, “You guys wouldn’t even know what tinder was if it weren’t for me and Wonwoo.”

“But I’m his roommate so I get automatic best man rights,” Jihoon says.

“Yeah but YN is my friend and she was heading to my exhibition so by default, I’m going to be the best man because I didn’t even kick Hoshi out when he showed up.”

“Yeah, still offended,” Mingyu rolls his eyes. “How many times do I have to say sorry until you accept my apology?!”

“Until I’m not known as the artist who had a quote unquote ‘model’ take his clothes off in the middle of my show so that I could prove that life can imitate art!”

Hoshi shakes his head and laughs as the argument wages on with you tucked under his chin.

“Are they always like that?” you whisper, looking up at him through your lashes.

“Yeah but...I don’t think I’d trade them for the world,” Hoshi replies, smiling.

It’s right then and there that Hoshi decides that he has all the friends that he needs and for the sake of his sanity, he will have to keep them. They did, after all, lead them to you.

#seventeen #seventeen fanfic #seventeen au #kwon soonyoung #hoshi #choi seungcheol #s.coups #yoon jeonghan #joshua hong #hong jisoo #jeon wonwoo #lee jihoon #woozi #wen junhui #moon junhui #jun #lee dokyeom #dk #lee seokmin #vernon chwe #hansol chwe vernon #lee chan #dino #kim mingyu #boo seungkwan #the8 #xu minghao #myungho #hoshi one shot #hoshi fanfic

[seunqs]

[ a long get to know me tag ]

tagged by: losers @woosohn @yeonjuins

what day is your birthday?

27th june! it’ll be on a monday next year

what’s your favourite colour?

blue! a rather specific shade of light sky blue but i also like dark blue! might be misleading because everyone would think beige/black since that’s the aesthetic i like + almost everything i own is black...

what’s your lucky number?

i don’t have one i think but i tend to say 7 if i’m asked?

do you have any pets?

sadly no >:( will get one in the future idc idc

how tall are you?

158cm tiny i wna be abit taller

how many pairs of shoes do you own?

off my head i think 3 pairs...? just 2 black and 1 white that i rotate depending on the outfit i’m wearing

favorite song?

asdjekw i don’t think i have one specific one but recently i’ve been listening to maniac by nct doyoung & haechan!

other honourable mentions: a book of love by ha hyunsang, wide eyed blind by saint raymond, irreplaceable by nct dream, lmly by jackson wang. that’s all i have off my head

favorite movie?

surprisingly i’m not big on movies... but i’ll always answer parent trap when someone asks! why do i sound like i always have prepared answers in my head for various questions... okay that’s bc i do.

what would be your ideal partner?

@june look away i already know you’re gna say this sounds a lot like someone..

shy... is the main characteristics lmao idky it’s not even like i’m outgoing but i tend to find myself liking shy-er boys over the outgoing ones! aaa those with very obvious leadership qualities and quietly cares and looks out for those around them :’) tsundere! i think shy may appear cold sometimes but i’m rly :’) when the shy ones become very affectionate in private or when you get to know them better :’) or shy with strangers but very goofy and silly with their closer social circle heh those that are more cat-like than dog-like, only approaches you when they’re comfy. okay also shy but willing to speak up when necessary! doesn’t let themselves get bullied for being quiet and also pls speak up for me i hate ordering food pls do it for me HAHAHHA also if they’re passionate about something they like/are good at! good listeners too heh doesn’t need to always have the best advice, just if they would sit with me silently and listen to me and give me a hug afterwards :’’’’’) i think i’m on the touchier side too so if they don’t dislike that it’ll be nice! OH someone who’s good at cooking too bc i hate cooking and the kitchen in general.. i’ll do the dishes though HAHAHAH ok that is all there is a certain idol in my head that is the embodiment of my ideal type and i hate him >:(

do you want children?

no... not so much bc i don’t find them cute or i can’t handle them but i think it’s a commitment that scares me! bringing up the child well with the right character and values ajksdbwkje i don’t know if i’m up to that HAHAHAH

have you gotten in trouble with the law?

nope @woosohn @yeonjuins pls be proud of my direct no why are the two of you......... 

bath or shower?

shower! i don’t know if i’ve actually taken a bath before... probably when i was younger HAHAH i think i’ll get bored in the bath and i much rather be relaxing in bed than in the tub

what color socks are you wearing?

barefoot at the moment! the socks i own are mostly solid colour socks / simple cartoon or animal patterns but all ankle socks that can’t be seen with my shoes

favorite type of music?

i listen to pop, r&b and indie! that’s about all and favourite depends on the mood!

how many pillows do you sleep with?

just 1! and a bolster too

what position do you sleep in?

either on my back with hand over my head lmao or turned to either sides while hugging my bolster and face buried into the bolster

what you don’t like when you’re sleeping?

when it’s too hot! canNOT sleep if the weather is too hot. also if i get woken up rudely, by screaming or someone smacking me awake LMAO just tell me nicely to get up and i’ll be out of bed in 10mins pls give me awhile my brain is turning on HAHAHA

what do you have for breakfast?

recently i haven’t woken up early enough for bfast or my family is just about to go out to buy lunch by the time i’m up hahaha but on the days that i’m alive for bfast, iced coffee and any pastry sitting in the fridge! my family is big on pastries like croissants and cakes like banana and carrot cakes! so one of those but the iced coffee is a constant in my first meal of the day

have you ever tried archery?

nope and idt i’ll be good at it tbh....

favorite fruit?

strawberries, apples, peaches! there are some seasonal favs where i rly like them for a period of time and then suddenly not anymore but these 3 are the constants

favorite swear word?

hahahaha i dont think i have a favourite one..... but i say tf a lot and mf for kpop boys who make me more flustered than they should

do you have any scars?

i don’t think so! i have a few stretch marks around my waist and tummy tho 

are you a good liar?

yes... HAHAH i used to get scolded so much for lying as a kid lmfao

what’s your personality type?

isfj-t has probably only dipped to isfp-t once but if not constant isfj!

what’s your favorite type of girl?

HAHAHAH uh.... okay with all kinds i think? except people in general who try too hard

innie or outie?

innie. was this question necessary tho AHHAHAHA

left or right-handed?

right-handed

favorite food?

ramen! but i like lots of food lmfao tiramisu, pork belly, lots of noodles, also lots of rice, beef, cakes, ice cream, i think i’m more salty > sweet!

favorite foreign food?

japanese ramen, korean cuisine!, lasagne

are you clean or messy?

clean

most used phrase?

i think alot of keyboard smashes, lmao, wtf, HAHAHAHHAHA, sigh, i’m tired LOL

how long does it take for you to get ready?

depends! fastest i think i can get out of the house 20mins after i’ve woken up. longest probably an hour where outfit is taking a while and accessories needs to be chosen

do you talk to yourself?

in my head yes.

do you sing to yourself?

not often but i sing out loud for the family to hear LOL in my head very often a song is playing up there

are you a good singer?

nop. i don’t think i’m a BAD singer but wouldn’t classify as good either HAHHAHA

biggest fear?

wow so many things but i think biggest is complete darkness, i need to see and know what is going on around me. i sleep with a night light on heh 

are you a gossip?

with closer friends yes def HAHAH my school culture tends to have lots of tea that my friends and i don’t like to get too involved in but we do talk about the gossips that goes around hahaha have also been in the center of gossip way too often

do you like long or short hair?

long! can’t imagine myself with short hair.. used to have reallllyyy long hair that goes beyond my waist and cried when i cut it to slightly below shoulder length. that’s the shortest i’ll ever go

favourite school subject?

wow nothing i don’t like school lmfao but humanities and language are way more bearable than math and sciences

extrovert or introvert?

introverted

what makes you nervous?

unpredictable situations, being alone in public (contradictory because in private i would strongly prefer to be alone but i don’t enjoy being alone in public i feel judged HAHAHA), also currently waiting on a reply for something and that’s been keeping me anxious the past 2 days :’)

who was your first real crush?

when i was 13/14, tablemate in school that was kinda shy and had very limited social circle but talked to me endlessly in class lmfao he apparently liked me too but we never dated and went to different schools at 16 y/o. we’re still kinda in touch though! we talked quite a fair bit last month just catching up but he’s more of an acquaintance now

how many piercings do you have?

2! just one normal lobe piercing on either ears, don’t think i’ll get anymore

how fast can you run?

back in school i used to be one of the fastest girls in my class LMFAO i could clock 12.5 minutes for a 2.4km run. stamina came from dancing since i had to run laps before dance class 2 times a week. but that is long in the past and now i get tired from climbing more than 4 flights of stairs pls spare me

what color is your hair?

naturally black but dyed brown! my hair has grown quite abit since i dyed it though now its black at the top and brown from above my ears onwards

what color are your eyes?

a very dark brown lmfao almost black

what makes you angry?

irresponsible people. just pushing responsibility to others or avoiding their responsibilities. don’t need you to do a good job with your responsibilities, just don’t make your issues my issues. and if its a shared responsibility like group projects, then do your part to contribute and don’t expect others to cover you

selfish people, in many ways. just being self-centred, not caring about how others feel, doing things for personal gain at the expense of others

speaking in a passive-aggressive/sarcastic manner. i say this even though i’m afraid of confrontation but i much rather someone outright tells me they’re unhappy about something or wants to get a point across. i hate when they talk about it sarcastically or tries to sugar-coat their words to make themselves look less aggressive about their words. tell me straight as it is, if you’re already gonna talk about something bad don’t piss me off with your attitude at the same time

do you like your own name?

rae is nice! has a very nice ring to it and looks pretty!

do you want a boy or a girl as a child?

i don’t.. want one.. but both have their good and bad i can’t decide.. i want a puppy

what are your strengths?

is this an interview question i have had a few interviews over the past weeks i am well-prepared for this HAHAHA

i think i’m pretty resilient! i bounce back from bad times pretty quickly or i psycho myself to see the situation positively. but it is ofc coupled with a lot of complaining to the people around me first

although i hate unpredictable situations and having to quickly adapt to new settings, i think i adapt pretty quickly too. flexible? easy-going? idk what’s the right way to call it but yeah something along those lines. good at it but i still enjoy my stability and calm don’t want to have to quickly adapt to new situations.

what are your weaknesses?

very emotional HAHAH used to be much worse but i often let my emotions rule my head. i think i’ve improved A LOT though i used to be so bad but i think i’m now able to make rational decisions even if im bawling LMFAO

this sounds like a compliment but i’ve been told this too often as well. i tend to be way too nice to people who don’t deserve it. even if the person doesn’t deserve it or they’ve pushed all my buttons in the wrong way possible, i would still try to be as nice and polite as i can. really helps with me working in the f&b industry lmfao.

what’s the colour of your bedspread?

dark blue / grey! 

colour(s) of your room?

white & wood (throughout my house actually + green from the plants in the living room) @yeonjuins says i live in a muji showroom

#/ #this took so long

[svtxsoju]

00. prologue | dear miss soju

ღ Synopsis: College is hard. Love is even harder. Good thing the students of Mansae University can write in to Miss Soju, the campus’ very own romance advice columnist! The only problem is she’s never been in a relationship. Ever. There’s no telling what kind of chaos she may cause in the love lives of several of MU’s most eligible bachelors. Too bad no one knows who she really is!  ღ Characters/Pairings: college AU! Seventeen & OC’s, Pairings TBA!  ღ Genre: Romantic Comedy, Slice of Life ღ Warning(s): Mentions of alcohol, underage drinking, mentions of sex, language, bad jokes ღ Word Count: 2.6k words ღ Binu’s Note: hi to anyone who is reading this!!! i’m super excited (and kinda nervous :0) to post this bc i’ve been working on this project for a while now. aaaa i hope there are at least some people who can enjoy it! this is a relatively short-ish chapter but it’s p dense with exposition lol but anyway if ur reading this, thank you i love you!!! 

《 ⊛ Author’s Note & Credits ⊛ Masterlist ⊛ Navigation ⊛ 》

《 Previous ⊛ Next 》

Introducing The Front ’s New Romance Advice Columnist: Miss Soju! 

We all have an ideal: an ideal type, an ideal first date, an ideal relationship. The problem is love isn’t ideal at all. And sooner or later, we find ourselves sitting on that plastic chair in that tent on the side of the road with an ache in our chest. You’re hurt, confused, and kind of going crazy-- all the tell-tale symptoms of heartbreak are there. And the only cure? Soju, of course! 

Finding a decent partner and maintaining a healthy, sustainable relationship is difficult enough as it is. Then layer it with the culture shock of university, where you’re experiencing actual adulthood for the first time without mommy and daddy to hold your hand. It’s enough to make anyone lose their minds! Sure, you could always turn to your friends for support and advice, but in all honesty, they’re even more of a mess than you are. 

That’s why Mansae University’s affiliate newspaper, The Front, will be reviving our romance advice column this fall! Each week, Miss Soju will be answering all your burning questions, and that means all of them. Her expertise touches on topics as simple as explaining to that one guy that your love is fated because you passed each other at Yuhaeng Quad, like three times, and extends to more extreme situations that require an anonymous veil, like how to confess to your new boyfriend with the furry fetish that you’ve been severely allergic to animals since you were three and you have no idea how any animals act, let alone… Yikes. 

It’s true, college is full of new and bizarre experiences, some we must go through and some we’d much rather avoid. Who knows? Maybe you’ll meet the love of your life here. But it’s okay to admit that you need a little guidance through the mystical and confusing world of college dating. Miss Soju has got your back, and she’s not afraid to hit you with that real shit. As she always says, good advice is like taking a shot: sweet on the lips but burns your throat as you swallow it down. 

Monday, June 3rd, 2019 3:07PM

“Jihoon, I don’t know if I can do this.” 

Name: So Joohyun. Major: Journalism major with a minor in communications. Estimated graduation year: 2021. Desired position: World News Journalism Intern. That was what she had put on her application for The Front’s junior internship program. She had made sure to attach her published articles and to emphasize her interest in-- no, her passion for-- reporting compelling stories on an international scale. Not once in her application did she indicate that she was an expert in love or sex, let alone qualified to give others advice on the subjects! In fact, she was probably the least qualified person on campus for this position, which was probably the most perplexing aspect of the whole situation. 

But despite all of that, there she was, sitting in Yuhaeng Quad with her best friend, reading the promo piece she had written for Miss Soju. Jihoon had been ecstatic when he had thought of the nickname back in high school. She had snuck bottles of the alcohol over to his house one night after finals week, and he had drunkenly claimed that the name was doubly clever since So-ju were also the first two syllables in her name. When the newspaper had told her she needed an anonymous pen name, it was the only thing she could think of, mostly because creating a secret identity had made her in desperate need of a drink. She changed her mind. Having a secret identity was equally as perplexing as pretending to know how to spice up people’s sex lives. It was like she was some kind of Love Spiderman. She was not ready for that kind of great power or the great responsibility that came with it!

“‘I don’t know if I can do this’?” Jihoon repeated her words slowly. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say those words in that order. Can I take your picture? I need to commemorate this moment.” 

“Can’t you see that I am having a crisis?” she whined. “The integrity of my career is on the line because I’ve never bothered to go on a date!” 

“When are you not having a crisis?” Jihoon laughed. He sat up from lying down on their picnic tarp to give her full view of his smug grin. Originally, he had dragged Joohyun outside in hopes that the perfect summer weather would help relieve some of her stress from the past week. He even found her favorite spot under the shade of an ancient tree that overlooked the stretch of green field. But Jihoon could not call himself a proper best friend if he passed on an opportunity to rub all of this in her face. “This is what you get for chickening out on all our group blind dates! I could have scored that hot bassist girl with the thigh tattoo, but nooo, you always had to put your career first.” 

“Sue me for having priorities!” she huffed. Leave it to Jihoon to chalk this all up to karma. Now that he mentioned it though, she couldn’t help but feel like a higher power was taking a piss on her life. Or maybe it was just the shit-eating smile on Jihoon’s face that had her on edge. Joohyun tried to avert her focus to a couple of boys tossing a frisbee around instead, but somehow that irked her too. The idyllic weather, the carefree students, everything that was pleasant seemed to mock her sour mood. She pouted at the ground in defeat, and continued, “You are the first person to know that if I was told that dating and fucking around were going to be crucial to my journey to becoming South Korea’s top journalist by the time I turn 25, I would have become a hoe long ago.” 

“Woah, are you gonna start your thot phase for this? Are we gonna have a hot girl summer?” The boy began to bounce excitedly. Joohyun felt it was high time to give him the finger, but she also felt a small smile tugging at her frown. “Easier said than done, though. Remember Jessi from high school?”

“Yeah I remember,” she said with a sigh. High school romance had lured so many of her friends into its clutches, with its enticing promises of sweet chocolates and stuffed animals, and she had helplessly watched from the top of the class as they forsook their grades for boys who didn’t even know what deodorant was. She only shuddered to think of the state of their grades after a nasty break up. It was then that Joohyun had decided that her future was not worth risking over a boy’s attention. “Which is exactly why I never got involved in all that mess in the first place.”

“This must be the gods telling you that it’s time to.”

“What kind of fucked up god sets up a virgin as a love advice columnist?” she asked the sky loudly. If she had known there was anyone listening, she would have insisted that her question was rhetorical and was not in need of any type of response! However, the gods cared not for grammar technicalities on the mortal plane. They just couldn’t resist the chance to respond to someone so openly questioning their decisions with some good ol’ spite. Honestly, with the way things were going for her lately, Joohyun probably should have expected the frisbee flying merrily towards her face, even if she hadn’t just challenge the universe. 

“Oh fuck!” Joohyun jerked out of the way and felt the frisbee thunk against her shoulder instead. “Ow.” At this point, she didn’t even have the capacity to be annoyed; she just braced herself for whatever misfortune life threw at her next. 

“Sorry about that!” A boy called out, jogging up to them. As he came into clearer view, she noted that he looked far from misfortunate, and also had to remind herself that staring was rude even if someone was unnaturally handsome. His features were soft yet striking, like he had been carefully sculpted from cotton candy. Or maybe a fluffy rain cloud? Joohyun shook her head a little as if that would get her to stop staring so shamelessly. She speculated whether it was the sun that made it look like his blond hair was a glowing halo. Okay seriously, stop staring! He gave Joohyun a sweet smile when he reached them. “My friend got a bit distracted. Now that I’m here, I can’t say that I blame him. Hope we didn’t do too much damage!” 

“Uh,” was her captivating reply.  

Jihoon, never one to miss such a ripe opportunity, piped up beside her. “She’ll be fine. This is Joohyun, by the way.” 

His smile widened at Woozi’s introduction, and Joohyun could swear there was an actual twinkle in his eyes. “Nice to meet you both. I’m--”

“Yoon Jeonghan!” They all looked towards the call. The ethereal boy let out a startlingly loud cackle at the sight of his friend, who gave the two strangers a sheepish wave before continuing to gesture for Jeonghan to return. Joohyun must have been put in a staring mood, because she didn’t miss how his friend’s big ears were a shade of pink and how they bloomed into a cherry red when they briefly made eye contact. She caught herself wondering if all the boys at Mansae University were always this cute. 

“I guess I better go,” the boy named Jeonghan shrugged. Joohyun felt his fingers brush against hers when he took the frisbee from her hand, his eyes glinting mischievously. Now she was sure she was seeing things. “See you two around!” 

They both watched him retreat in an awestruck silence. That was certainly… unanticipated. Even long after Jeonghan and his friend were out of sight, the brief encounter left a blanket of fogginess lingering over them. Had she not felt his fingers on hers, Joohyun would have easily believed that it had all been in her head. At the same time, she was pretty sure that she wasn’t bold enough to conjure up someone that looked like that on her own. As she continued to fathom how a human being could glow, Joohyun felt the fog dissipate into the warm summer air. She felt like she was waking up from a disorienting dream, and she blinked to hasten the process. To her growing bewilderment, she found that her heartbeat was steady as she came back to her senses, her mind seemingly devoid of the panic and doubt that had plagued her all week. It was a gasp of fresh air. 

Jihoon, on the other hand, had long broken free from the strong impression that the blond boy made. He noted the dazed look on his best friend’s face and rolled his eyes. Who knew that a pretty boy was all it took to make her shut up a bit? He nudged Joohyun impatiently, so that she could pay attention to him while he roasted her for totally flubbing her chances.  “You thinking of risking it all for that guy?” 

In an instant, Joohyun slammed herself back into reality just to shove Jihoon away from her. “That is so not happening,” she said a little too indignantly. Before Jihoon could reassure her that the guy seemed interested enough even though she had only said a single syllable to him, Joohyun suddenly turned to him very seriously. “Do you really think I  can do it, Jihoon?” 

“What, bang that guy? I can try calling him back here if you want,” he snickered. 

“You know what I mean!”  

“Okay sorry, I couldn’t resist,” Jihoon replied, his grin now melting into a familiar smile, the one that could put her at ease on her lowest days. “I just don’t know why you have to ask. You and I both know that you kick ass at writing. You’ve written about stuff like natural disasters and the student protests, no problem at all. It’s not like you have a PhD in environmental science or politics. How is this any different? ”

Joohyun scrunched her face as if Jihoon had just suggested that chocolate milk came from brown cows. “Dude, they’re completely different. Those articles were reporting on facts. I did research, I conducted interviews!” 

“That’s what I’m saying, Joo!” Jihoon exclaimed suddenly. As smart as she was, he couldn’t help getting a little giddy whenever he thought of a good idea before her. “Why not treat Miss Soju like any other of your other projects? I mean, love is probably one of the most well-documented experiences throughout history, and people are still going through all the same shit. There’s probably thousands of resources for a man simping on a hot chick alone. You can even take your pick, like movies, songs, books, weird couples on Youtube?You don’t need to have experience, because you can just do the research! ” 

“Research?” Joohyun repeated. If there was one thing that she was good at, it was doing the work. From the moment she had decided to become a journalist, everything she had done was a strategic move to get her closer to her end goal. She had spent sleepless nights perfecting the details of her writing, countless hours reading through endless archives of old articles. Hell, she even restricted herself from dating for years just so she could focus on keep her grades up. It was almost too easy of a solution. Maybe she was meant to do this after all.

 Another couple of months of research would simply be another hurdle on her way to the finish line and she was getting closer and closer. Finally, she felt a smile spread across her cheeks, a real, genuine smile. “I… I can do that.” 

“Now that,” Jihoon said as he took her hand in his, pulling her up to her feet, “sounds like So Joohyun. Or should I say Miss Soju?” 

She laughed as she dusted the grass off of her butt. “You know, it’s probably not a good idea to include the first part of my name in my anonymous persona. It makes it so obvious that it’s me.”

“Yeah, I mean it would be obvious if people actually knew who you were in the first place,” Jihoon scoffed, narrowly dodging a kick from her. “That’s a good thing for you! Anyway, let’s get out of here, I have a couple of tweaks to make to my song before releasing it tonight. Could you listen to it by the way? I need to know if it’s too cheesy.” 

“Oh, the song you’re writing about your mystery muse?” Joohyun hummed playfully while packing up their blanket. She followed after her best friend as he began the short climb uphill. “I don’t know if I want to, you’ve been pretty out of pocket today.”

“Hey!” he said defensively. “First: I don’t need a muse for my songs, I just have a very vivid imagination and my talent does the rest. Second: I literally just stopped you from giving up on your lifelong dream of becoming a journalist, so I think you owe me one. You’re just jealous I can write love songs without having an existential crisis.” 

“See, that is what I mean by out of pocket,” she paused for a beat. “I may be willing to listen to your song. For a small price, of course.”

“Okay, deal,” he agreed without hesitation, missing the way Joohyun deviously smirked beside him. They reached the concrete pavement at top of the hill and headed in the direction of his nearby apartment. “What is it this time, Ms. So?” 

“Well Mr. Lee, thanks to your lovely suggestion earlier, I have been inspired to begin work immediately. So we shall be watching Twilight on movie night,” she said all too gleefully, mostly for satisfaction that Jihoon’s twisted face of disgust gave her. 

“Do we have to?” he groaned.

 “It’s for my research!”

#seventeen #seventeen scenario #seventeen scenarios #seventeen fanfic #seventeen imagines #jihoon scenarios #woozi scenarios #woozi imagines #jeonghan scenarios #jeonghan imagines #scoups scenarios #scoups imagines #seungcheol #seungcheol imagines #seungcheol scenarios #pour.up #dj.woozi #mu.eros #soju.queen

[poguesofthebau]

Hi love! Idk if you’re still doing ships, but if you are could you please do one for the obx characters for me? I’m a 5”3 straight gal with short red hair and pale skin. I could’ve been in twilight lol. I love rock and alternative music. I’m also a dancer:) I love making people happy and always try to be there for everyone and have a smile on my face. I do get really nervous super easily and I never quite know how to handle but we deal. Thank you! I hope you’re doing alright during these times!

i ship you with pope!! (honorary mention: we all know jj also loves rock and alternative so the two of you would initially bond over music taste, and then you’d become besties, and you’d go to concerts and stuff together and it would be the world’s cutest friendship. also nothing could make pope happier than his best friend and his girl being so close.)

pope was a smart ass just like jj and john b, something i think we sometimes forget bc our judgements are clouded by his angel-babyness. but, like, that first scene of episode one when he tells john b he’ll shoot him on his way down? that “i’ll be so safe?” two of many examples of times when pope’s words were just like... out of pocket. you would legit just love sitting and listening to jj and pope bicker back and forth, even though it often times annoyed the shit out of kie and john b, you thought it was hilarious. the first real thing about pope you saw was his sarcasm. at first, you thought he was just the brains of the operation, but once you got into the back of the twinkie with the boys for the first time, you realized... pope was like an onion. yes, that’s right, layers. *cue shrek quote* the more you saw of him, the real pope, the more intrigued you were. soon enough you realized that intrigue was more of an interest, and then the interest grew to feelings. everyone had kind of expected you to end up with jj when you first started hanging around with them, but when you and pope got together (after you executed an elaborate plan to trick him into kissing you during a kegger and then confessed your feelings to him), no one was really that surprised. the two of you just sort of balanced each other out somehow. in times when pope was freaking out over school or his scholarship or kooks being out to get him, you could shoot him the perfect goofy little grin to pull him out of it. and when you started to fret a little too much over jj doing risky ass flips off the hms pogue or picking a fight with rafe or going home to his dad, pope always found just the right way to say ‘he’s an idiot but he knows what he’s doing.’ 

that was pretty much the situation one night at the Boneyard. before you’d left for the kegger, pope was absolutely going out of his mind trying to edit an english paper that was due the following monday. it was worth a huge amount of his grade, and english was his ‘worst subject,’ so he insisted on sitting silently in the guest room of The Chateau, rereading and making edits where they needed to be made. you, however, were not accepting that. after jj and john b burst into the room and tried to rip his laptop out of his grip, resulting in an obsessive and angry pope, you were slipping quietly into the room and sitting next to him in the bed. peeking over his shoulder, you skimmed over a few words before looking back to your boyfriend. “whatcha doin’?” pope was typing rapidly on the keys, not even pausing when you spoke. “ummm... i’m... just... working on... my... paper.” with his final word, he glanced up at you. you’d catch his eye for just a second before he was turning back to his laptop screen. “hmmm,” you’d hum, leaning forward to obstruct his view a little. “hey, i can’t see!” as he spoke, pope stopped typing to throw his hands up in the air, giving you the perfect opportunity to quickly press Save before slamming the laptop shut. “all done. come on, now, my little genius.” “hey! what the hell! i have to finish that!” as pope complained, you would be moving the laptop to the side, standing in front of the boy and placing a hand on each side of his face. “no, you have to finish it monday. today, friday, we party. ‘kay?” you pecked his lips a few times, kissing him until he broke into a smile. “that’s like, scientifically not fair. you just loved me out of my homework.” you’d grin, grabbing his hands to pull him off the bed and toward the living room where the others were waiting. “hey, it’s not my fault you make me love you so much, pope.”

so there you were an hour later, flip flops thrown to the side as you wiggled your toes in the sand. you and pope were sat on a log on the Boneyard, red solo cups in hand, laughing at some stupid shit that john b had said. so far, pope was secretly grateful that you’d dragged him out, because this was one of the most fun, peaceful nights he’d had in a decent chunk of time. but of course, as soon as pope admitted that fact to himself, things took a turn. things, as in, the current population of the Boneyard. rafe cameron himself had officially set foot on the beach, and pope knew the vibe was about to die a brutal, painful death. and, as per usualy, he was right. barely half an hour after he arrived, rafe had made his way over to you, laying right into sarah, john b, and jj. (for some reason, they were his favorite pogues to verbally and sometimes physically torture.) things escalated quickly, with kie throwing her drink on rafe and jj immediately stepped in to defend her actions. you, not the biggest fan of physical fights, would be trying not to hyperventilate from where you stood a few feet away, shifted slightly behind pope as chaos ensued. after yelling a few times to try to stop jj, pope was turning to you. his hands would be on your shoulders, shaking you gently to get you to shift your eyes from jj slamming rafe into the ground to him. your eyes flickered over to his, and you snapped back into reality. “fuck,” you’d breathe, eyes still wide. “it’s fine. he’ll be fine. just stay behind me, okay?” and once you nodded to let him know you were okay, he would turn back to his friend to find him on his back, taking hits from rafe. soon enough john b and topper were interfering, having developed some newfound peace, to separate their friends from each other. after each almost breaking loose a few times, the fight was over, and all that was left to deal with was jj’s anger. you dropped your forehead onto pope’s back, sighing in relief. “i’m sorry i took you from your homework, after all.” he’d turn back to you, a smile on his face. “at least i got drinks and a show, i guess.” he’d lean down and kiss you, breaking away a few seconds later when you giggled at your own thoughts. “you’re still ridiculous about that paper, though.”

#outer banks #obx #outer banks imagines #outer banks imagine #obx imagines #obx imagine #outer banks ships #outer banks ship #obx ships #obx ship #outer banks blurbs #outer banks blurb #obx blurbs #obx blurb #pope heyward #pope #pope heyward imagines #pope heyward imagine #pope imagines #pope imagine #pope heyward blurbs #pope heyward blurb #pope blurbs #pope blurb #pope heyward x reader #pope x reader

[mieczyhale]

a messy explanation of things and unnecessary information about life lately

soooo... right. i’m sorry i haven’t really been around aside from popping in here and there, and that i’ve been taking longer than usual to reply to things / not replying to things at all. it’s NOT that i’m upset with anyone or trying to ignore / avoid anyone, and it’s not that i don’t care / don’t love talking to you (whomstever you may be) i love chatting with y’all and wish i could get myself to reply to things quicker but i do not control the me lmfao honestly my sleep has never had a schedule but in recent weeks it’s kinda been operating like there’s a lil gremlin in my head who spins a wheel and picks my sleeping times at random - and it’s either like.. two hours or most of a day. there hasn’t been a lot of in between so that’s a thing!!

also in a fun added mix of maybe sleep?, missing meds, being stuck in the house more often than not, and the FUCKING EVERYTHING happening in the world right now my mental health is... probably run by the same goblin that runs my sleep schedule lmao consistency whomst?? since the lockdown started the depression has of course been around more but actually, worse than that, is how my anxiety - and by extension: my ocd - have really amped up and i need y’all to know that the struggle is painfully real (and another thing that affects shit like my replies and writing. reading as well. fics have been kinda stressful and that should be illegal. who authorized this?) i don’t hate talking about it but i don’t really like it either?? especially like.. in depth. but i will say there has been crying, screaming, pain!, and i’ve acquired a few physical injuries.

so

yeah

on a personal level - a ‘just me’ level - shit is an even bigger mess than usual lmao but all these things will get better eventually - they always do. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

NOW

ON A PERSONAL LEVEL - THE FULL LEVEL - THINGS.... are pretty great actually! i mean aside from the state of my fucking house e__e but Josh has been working from home for two (2) months now and it’s been really nice - people complaining about their partners being home?? can’t relate. yknow what?? i just might love that tall bastard even more from all this.fuck all y’all miserable fucks

we’ve been going out for drives and we’ve gone fishing and the only place i’ve gone too that’s re-opened is goodwill. because i require.. the shop. they do have a masks required rule! (at least at the one here) and, alongside that, the places we’ve gone that never closed (like grocery stores and the gas station and the hardware store) have social distancing rules and stuff in place which i love. can we keep social distancing after this is all over?? more things here in wisconsin are opening up and we might go to some. idk though. we also might not. either way its still a weird kind of exciting to see things opening back up?? even though i do think we’re not totally in the clear because most of our gov. sucks (our mayor tried to extend our stay-at-home order - keyword there is TRIED. we are the land of cheese, cows, and no fucking braincells for anyone) 

having pets is obviously not a new thing for me but it’s still a thing. so it takes time and effort and energy and patience and love and a certain disregard for your own safety (claws. they really be as sharp as you think) so... it can be stressful, especially cuz we’ve had to keep them inside more as it gets hot out and something keeps breaking our porch screens (our cats are allowed onto our screened in porch or they can go out in a harness but we will never let them run free outside. fuck that noise)  my bbies are all so cute and their personalities and idiosyncrasies are just... *chefs kiss* i love em and they’re definitely a part of what has made quarantine better

i’ve seen my mom a few times, like for my birthday and when she needed help moving Isaiah from one dorm to another and such, but that’s primarily been an option because she has become anti-mask and anti-stay-at-home-order. initially she wasn’t - she gave Isaiah and i fun lil masks since at that time trying to buy them would be impossible and she thought nothing of staying home - but i guess either as its dragged on or as she’s consumed her middle-right wing news that changed s o. she does take social distancing in public very seriously though, so at least there’s that. our favorite coffee shop, where we - pre-lockdown - always went one (1) or two (2) times a week to do art for hours re-opens on monday and that’s one of the few things i’ve truly missed.

josh’s camping trip for this weekend with his friends had to be cancelled because the parks weren’t going to open in time. so today they’re going somewhere to do at least some of the things they would have done if they had gone camping. bikes, bonfires, and cigars. i’m kinda jealous negl but he was really excited about it so mostly i’m happy

trying to figure out how human services was running things during lockdown was rough but thankfully it didn’t take much to get it sorted. mostly because my mom made the phone call i was supposed to lol (the phone anxiety is on its own level) so wednesday afternoon my mom sat with me while i had the appointment with my psychiatrist over speakerphone (which was.. an experience)

ummm.....

OH YEAH! Probably absolutely my favorite thing that’s happened is: WE’RE STARTING THE SEARCH FOR A NEW HOUSE!!!! it doesn’t mean we’re gonna be moving soon or anything, we don’t want to make the same mistake twice (buying the first house you tour that you love) because while it is a great house ultimately it is way too small for us. i mean there’s me and josh, all six cats, and ALL OUR SHIT. listen: i have an entire room dedicated to my various hobbies. and a walk in closet that isn’t big enough. and we both have collections we love and want to display (right now upstairs its hello kitty and downstairs its astronomy and the titanic. and then there’s pop figures, mtg, collectibles, our bottle collection and various knickknacks, etc.) plus all our books! then furniture and cat furniture (i.e towers) and all their shit because they are spoiled babies. and god forbid we ever have a human kid?? yeah. it’s just not big enough. 

so we’re gonna take more time with this choice but what we do know is:: we wanna live out in the country (i’m paranoid and don’t like to be looked at and he loves the outdoors, lived on a farm for awhile. i also enjoy the outdoors but mostly since we moved into this house i’ve struggled with doing anything outside... while we only have one neighbor on our road. but there’s one across the road and one at the other side of our backyard and that’s just too much lol) 

lets see.. um.... my birthday was may 2nd and that was pretty nice, for a pandemic birthday. there’s been a lot of stuff happening involving josh’s family but that’s not something i really wanna get into on here, tho i will say things have been better in recent weeks and it’s been... really nice. josh and i went to his mom’s house the other night and got drunk with her for fun and i actually had a really good time?? and didn’t complain about going?? that’s kinda unheard of.

i don’t have a job anymore - haven’t since early march-ish - and it kinda sucks but also the universe really did me a solid because my choices were either allow myself to work until i have a mental break again or quit. and i was leaning towards quitting (things had been going down hill with the owner and other employees and just the business as a whole for awhile and there’s a limit to the amount of bullshit i can take thanks) but now it doesn’t seem i have to. why do i think i’m jobless? i was barely working anyway, bc of the snow business was slow, and in march i got really sick and stayed home for a week. the day i was supposed to go back i was still sick, and covid19 was starting to become more of a serious situation everywhere, so josh called in for me and explained that between still being sick and my anxiety over covid (asthma + a not so great immune system) i wasn’t going in that day. i never heard from them again. so. 

but it’s all good - there are some options but i’m not looking into them seriously until it’s safe to.

SO

THAT’S ALL OF FUCKING THAT ON THAT

i felt it wouldn’t be a bad idea to come on here and explain A. what’s been going on and B. where i’ve been and C. that if i haven’t responded to you or acknowledged something you sent me / tagged me in it’s literally just because i either forgot to (for all reasons and none) or i don’t have the mental space / energy to. but that doesn’t mean you have to stop talking to me! even if i don’t respond or respond immediately i do read everything and i would die for any one of you fuckers (especially my clowns and the tom hardy movie) 

oh! and just btw - sometimes i don’t get notifications (quelle surprise) tumblr and skype should really pair up and talk about their truly great systems that function so well /s 8| ANYWAY: the best and most reliable ways to get my attention are twitter ( @/mieczyhale) and discord (same name) because i have yet to see their notifications fail. ahem.

i feel like i’m missing things / forgetting things but honestly this post is long enough and also enough of a rambley mess that i’m just gonna try and ignore that feeling and carry on with my goddamn day so i might actually accomplish something. sorry if there’s spelling off or missing words. i’m not taking the time to re-read this and might even delete it bc it’s already giving me anxiety bUT WE’LL SEE ALRIGHT HI AND BYE I LOVE YOU GUYS <3

#might delete later?? probably?? havent decided. #maison speaks #tinysquidrachel

[tiffgeorgina]

alright trailer thoughts

watch it here slutties: https://twitter.com/SHOBlackMonday/status/1216778009044291585

1) HOLY FUCKING SHIT IT’S HERE THIS FEELS SURREAL

2) HOLYYY SHITTTT

3) but actually let’s get it. this song bangs showtime stays on their excellent editing.

4) trying to analyze showtime’s trailers is like trying to grab smoke so this is going to be extremely barebones for a while. 

5) somebody drives off with the busted up limbo, but we can’t tell who it is yet bc their face never comes into view. they’re wearing a gray suit tho, so it may become more obvious who it is once the episode itself is out.

6) mo is being dramatic asf which as of 1x10 is perfectly in character lmfao

7) bro what the FUCK did you do to your hair i gotta ask fuck the 80s. also there’s this character on IMDb tagged “Vanessa (hair like mo)” so that makes more sense now maybe?

8) establishing shots that almost make me think mo is hiding out in california. since we know his orphanage story is bullshit, maybe he’s visiting family? maybe this is where that marcus wainright iii character comes in? since i dont think he’s in the trailer?

9) keith is living. almost has out-of-the-closet energy. i bet that scene of him roller skating is either after a) he comes out to his wife and divorces her or b) he gets a call from mo and flies straight out to cali to meet up with him.

10) the editing is so good you guys holy shit they jsut never quit over there do they?

11) a shot of mo in some suburb. could be a family member or a friend’s house? which again leads me to think he’s in california.

12) there’s this TV show called “America’s Most Unsolved Crimes” that mo shows up on bc he’s being solely blamed for the crash. how dawn and blair managed to avoid any blame whatsoever is beyond me, but mo is an excellent scapegoat since he confessed on record. no idea who the guy sitting on the desk talking about him is tho, since he wasn’t announced as one of the new guest stars. probably just a one off. maybe this is where “reenactment dawn” comes in from the IMDb page?

13) mo is bringing back the 70s and i do not like it. when i said the 80s were cool bc nobody knew how to dress themselves This Is Not What I Meant.

14) he wouldn’t just casually play basketball with some random kids, these are probably either his cousins or his nephews or the kids of a friend. again leads me to believe he’s in california, possibly visiting marcus? it would make sense. either that or we finally get some real concrete background on mo that isn’t total bullshit.

15) keith is in contact with mo. it’s hard to tell if keith went to cali to see mo or if mo came to NY seeing as both are extremely suspicious. assuming mo is in cali that is. keith is definitely going to get mo back in the game. speaking of mo, this entire first 30 seconds is Mo-centric, so i bet mo’s arc is going to be plottier than blair or dawn’s in 1“A” (showtime doesn’t really have A and B arcs for this show bc there’s no midseason hiatus i just like the terminology)

16) throwback thursday lmfao

17) no idea who this guy shooting/probably fake shooting is?? like no idea. could be nothing of importance and just a transition filler/tone setting moment.

18) the heat is on motherfucker! let’s get this cat and mouse shit im ready for it!

19) here we go here’s dawn. back at the jammer group. back at DAWN AS THE PRESIDENT HIRING A BUNCH OF WOMEN???????? BIIIIIITTTTCCCCHHHH I LOVE TO SEE IT. INCLUDING DEANNA CHENG (she’s friends with casey which means she’s friends with half the cast we should’ve known she wasn’t going anywhere) AKA THE SALES CLERK WHO HARASSED DAWN IN 1X02????? YES BITHC

20) then wayne and yassir fucking it up (nice facial hair wayne it’s hideous kjsfkjdhg) and the women throwing paper at him??? LKJRHGKLJSERH????

21) blair and tiff dressed up??? guys. they’re going to some rich people gala thing. this is what i was talkinf about. im almost certain this is how blair and harris meet. their wives are gonna see each other after not having spoken in years bc of whatever but they used to be friends so they go to talk and the husbands and dragged along and *closet case to closet case communication sounds*

22) ok now BLAIR’S on the exercise craze? i thought that was just gonna be dawn like in s1 also how long is this exercise montage in the show bc there are some things a god fearing lesbian shouldn’t have to see. this weird mirror talking shit feels like voyeurism from this perspective i feel like i shouldn’t be seeing this.

23) she’s still topping him??? after all that??? aight yk it’s part of the dynamic

24) tiff is wearing the same dress in “you do, hunk” as she is in the bit where they get out of the limo and deal with the paparazzi so i presume that workout scene is immediately before that gala thing im establishing a #timeline

25) the skants reveal??? we call that PLOT DEVELOPMENT i love a good callback to the first season

26) the shocked gasp i can’t tell if it’s good or bad. also does this mean tiff’s starting her own company? since georgina is liquid?

27) larry telling dawn that mo’s on his way back for revenge? spliced with mo staring at the wall like he so frequently does while smoking? mayhaps this editing went off also i never thought i’d say this but the brotherfucker has a point mo is gonna pop off when he sees yall again

28) FBI wyd........ that’s a lot

29) that falling out last season bit: blair’s definitely talking about tiff’s parents, and im almost certain andrew flubbed right there and improvised over it by saying “autumn.” well im appreciative of that bc a) it’s funny and b) it indicates when this is going on a bit. it’s not like we’re two years in the future or anything. this is probably gonna start a couple of months after the crash and that’s it.

30) no idea who blair is talking to tho since i can’t see the woman’s face. could be one of tiff’s friends? idk. also nice hair tiff

31) that ball spinning around like a gumball in a machine? weird transition but aight. also immediately after, dawn is in the lehman office, again no idea why. probably the same scene as larry telling her that mo is plotting his revenge but idk why she’s there.

32) that shot of a plane coming into JFK? now im near certain that mo is in cali it would make so much sense please showtime just MAKE SENSE. 

33) confetti and mo’s entrance? you know what it’s what i should’ve expected tbh it’s all so delightfully in character EDIT: THE CONFETTI IS NOT BEFORE MO’S ENTRANCE. YOU CAN SEE DAWN’S CLOTHES CHANGE COLOR, IT WAS JUST AN EDITING TRICK.

34) mo’s just gonna pull up, zero fucks, in the middle of the day. much different than how i thought this scene would go, with a lot of betrayal and drama involved instead of this bitch just pulling up. now idek if dawn and mo are in contact before this, when before i was almost certain they would be.

35) what blair says here is definitely not the first thing he says when mo walks in, i can tell from the editing. also im near certain that blair doesn’t say “bro.” it sounds edited in/done in post (his voice pitches up a lot there when that’s usually a beat when your voice would fall), so i wouldn’t be surprised if blair curses a lot there and they just had to edit it to stay in the green band. 

36) ol polluted waterfall lookin ass jshgkjfdhg mo quit lying that hairstyle is not popular fuck off

37) im loving this tagging order tbh. paul scheer getting tagged in the trailer is just. what he deserves. do we consider keith a protagonist now? he’s in all the promo material by name and face now.

38) regina and andrew look so good god yes also the editing is so GOOD fuck

39) keith (hand holding emoji) blair

        getting hit by random vehicles

40) NO THE LIMBO FUCK SHIT THESE CARS WERE NOT MEANT TO LAST almost looks deliberate :eyes emoji:

41) what’s keith doing with this barbershop quartet wtf

42) almost certain that’s tiff singing? based on 1x09 this oughta be good lmao

43) THE HEEL CLICKING IS TAKING ME OUT HGKJDHFGKJFD. could this be mo and marcus? who knows?

44) look at all the cash wtf what’s all that cash for? ah shit here we go again

45) tiff entering another dimension followed by dawn doing what is certainly a mountain of coke? kind of poetic cinema ok

46) ok dawn’s wearing that green suit again from my icon so??? what does it mean what does it all mean

47) who is mo squaring up with tf? is this marcus? i can’t tell in this lighting maybe it’s fake shooting guy idk also where the fuck are they? some party? but not a rich ppl thing just a thing? idk

48) guys. we have it. the fucking airdate. i have been stanning since the first fucking episode almost a year ago today and finally we have an airdate. respect to the new stans but yall dont know what seven and a half months of network radio silence in regards to your current obsession feels like. @hatimbinaba msged me and said we had a date and the shot of adrenaline i felt was like nothing else. serotonin is currently stored in the black monday and now the serotonin is stored in the ME. Sunday, March 15, 2020, 10 pm motherfuckers. put that shit on the calendar. also looks like we have a slightly earlier timeslot which is nice.

49) and to top (ahah) it all off we have blair just straight up gay panicking at the end. that’s definitely tuc and june and if yall have been following yall would know that tuc is playing blair’s love interest and june is playing tuc’s wife so this is all very jghsrkjghs im rly excited for this scene. no way of knowing if this is before or after blair and harris get together but it’s still kshgkdjhgdkj. rich people golfing? more like rich people existing lmao. also where’s that onion video i need to find the onion video fuck this is just like the onion said would happen. i will post it and make memes later. 

50) then blair just gets hit??? by the golfcart?? and there’s this scream that is definitely not the scream of andrew, tuc or june so??? whose scream was that??? did they add that shit in post??? tf???? also tuc and june barely flinching is really decapitating me kjshkrjdg

51) there’s no way of knowing if tiff is also at the golf course, but if she isn’t? then it’s just blair and his canon love interest and canon love interest’s wife???? which is so funny “hey come play golf with me” “oh is anyone else coming?” “ya my wife” “you’re so stupid i have to question how you’re even still alive”

52) WHEEWWWW AND THAT’S IT YALL!!! BUT A COUPLE MORE THINGS. some distinct absences: no known shot of marcus (which is wack yall would think they would want to plug the hell out of dulé hill) and very few shots of harris and corky. why. promote your newcomers some more tf.

anyways that’s all on this long ass post. @ mutuals expect more freakouts xx love yall this is unedited just raw emotion

#black monday #andrew rannells #don cheadle #regina hall #trailer #showtime #slander

[neoangelic]

Don’t Need Your Love

➳ an nct dream series

After a horrible first love experience, Yang Ahn joins the Don’t Need Your Love club via invitation. Things don’t turn out the way they were supposed to. 

➳ a story of not-so-romance featuring: the coolest club on campus, the meaning of unrequited, teenagers, best friends, heartbreak, healing, first loves, and new ones. 

➳ masterlist 

➳ note: female oc, multiple pairings, ot7 dream, not saying anything more bc spoilers!

➳ word count: 2235

DNYL. A four-letter word—if you would even call it a word. DNYL: four letters that defined the rest of my youth. Four letters that changed my perspective of quite a few other four-letter words. These four consonants brought together a broken band of romance misfits, the love-lost and the lovelorn, and I was the unfortunate latter.

A scoff dared to spill from my lips when I heard Harvey’s voice crackle over the loudspeaker. It wasn’t abnormal for clubs to advertise themselves via intercom, but those were your usual clubs: basketball, taekwondo, art, math, and such. It started off one of those usual announcements at first, but his next words turned everything around.

“The coolest club on campus: DNYL—”

Such a declarative statement. It stopped me in my tracks on the way to homeroom.

“—Don’t Need Your Love.”

And like the rest of the student body, his audacious proposal of a club nearly made me laugh. Harvey was a sweet exchange student from the United Kingdom. A gregarious boy with a knack for gathering people’s interest. This stunt was no exception. Like the rest of Neo Culture Tech’s teenager-filled population, he droned on about relationships, though he spoke of the broken kind. 

Since I had no relation to such types of relationship, I let his voice fade into the background of chattering students and teachers ushering them off to class. At this point, all I paid attention to was the scuff on my Mary Janes as I walked and the way the spine of my notebooks sat uncomfortably against my bicep. My grip on them grew tighter as bits and pieces of Harvey’s speech were growing harder to suppress. Intrusive thoughts crawled its way into my mind. A whisper of an unforgotten forgotten name. Ghosts of conversations in a foreign language. A face began to form in my memory. One with cat-like, sharp eyes. Before my fingertips could come into contact with the cool metal of the doorknob in front of me and snap me out of my thoughts—something else did.  

“Do you feel down from all this unrequited love?” 

Do you feel down from all this unrequited love? Was that even a question?

I finally let a chuckle past my lips, once again turning my attention towards the scuff mark on my shoe, once again letting the name of first love to be forgotten and remembering that I had a class to attend.

“What’s so funny?”

“Lee Jeno, Jesus Christ,” my shoulders jumped to my ears. “Don’t sneak up on me like that.”

“You looked dumb standing like that,” he gestured to my hand that floated above the doorknob.

“Are you trying to act like Hyuck-oppa by insulting me?”

“Well as your new best friend, I need to fill the void that Haechan left in our Ahn-ah’s heart.”

“You say that like he’s dead.”

“Yeah, dead to you.”

“Only sometimes,” I roll my eyes. “He’ll be back in one more month and I never said anything about you being my new best friend.”

He pouts, like a puppy. “Well haven’t I done a good job of taking care of you while he’s gone? You did post on your insta story about best friend applications being open and I remember sending you a resume that I don’t think you ever read. He’s been gone since like the beginning of last school year—”

Jeno continued to ramble on with loud hand gestures. It was odd to know that this was the boy I was introduced to during freshman year of high school. His features have grown to become more chiseled and—due to his resolution of ‘becoming fit’ over the summer—I couldn’t help but notice the outlines of muscle through his school uniform. Still retaining his puppy-like features, puberty didn’t steal away his cuteness just yet. The Lee Donghyuck he currently was ranting about was my best friend of now four years. I concluded that his one-sided competition for Donghyuck’s role as my best friend was his little way of reminiscing the devilish boy. Although, he’d never admit that he missed him. Neither would I.

Donghyuck was the funniest boy I ever met. He was like the sun at its brightest as it shone through a stormy day. His reactions were exaggerated and animated and he never failed at catching every opportunity for a quick-witted remark against me. But my favorite part about him was when he made jokes with a straight face. Sometimes I couldn’t tell if he was being serious or not. He breathed life into my gloomy 7th-grade self. But I don’t think I could forgive him for not metaphorically holding my hand throughout first year. He had to leave Korea a quarter through the first semester because his parents won a trip to Canada. And I get it. Canada was a great place to be, but he failed to inform me that his trip would last about a year. Before he left, he introduced me to Jeno and told me that we would get along splendidly. 

In the words of my best friend; ‘you’d be too much of a loner while I’m gone, so I bestow this pity gift on you.’ 

Not to mention, our first meeting was hilarious. 

He was right. I missed him like the moon missed the sun in the cold night sky.

Luckily, Jeno and I had more in common than I thought and maybe Donghyuck knew that. Maybe that was why he introduced us. He always had an eye for such things. 

The first thing I said made him choke on his milk and flush cherry. Let’s just say I recognized him from an old advert he did as a child actor, featuring the said drink he choked on. The Lee Jeno I first got to know was awkward and shy, never without his crescent-crinkled eyes, a bashful smile, and fingers pulling on a hoodie string. The Lee Jeno that stood in front of me was wide-eyed, broad-shouldered, and confident as ever. 

He grew up a lot.

Don’t ever tell him this (lest you want his ego to inflate) but I really admired him for that. 

“—in conclusion, who was there for that whole fiasco? Not Haechan. What did he ever do? Facetime you every day? Pff I bought you ice cream. Now that’s a real friendship. You didn’t see him flying over from Canada to comfort you, did you? Maybe he was whisked away by a Canadian babe or hunk—”

“You got me my least favorite flavor,” I remarked.

“Ahn-ah,” he whined. “Give me some credit.”

“Tough love. If you wanna be Donghyuck try to be more annoying. He’d never greet me like that.”

“Oh yeah? And how would he have greeted you?” Jeno leaned forward to meet me eye level as if challenging me. Regret flashed in his eyes as I promptly jumped up to put him in a headlock, messing up his perfectly combed hair with my free hand.

“Aw isn’t our Jeno-oppa so grown up?” I pout, pulling and pinching at his cheeks. “Every morning that I see you, you seem to get taller. What am I going to do with you?”

He scrunched his nose in disgust, furrowing his brows. “I think I have cooties now.”

“That’s the spirit. Now keep that up and you’re on your way—maybe—to be just like Hyuckie.”

“The absolute disrespect you’re giving him while he’s gone, calling someone older than you so casually” he scoffs, wrestling his head out of my grasp. “How has he had this much influence on you while he’s gone?”

“Well—”

“Lee. Yang. I don’t suppose you’d want to be late for my class while having a lovers quarrel, don’t you?”

I push Jeno away from me and bowed, flustered. “Sorry, saem.”

“Saem-nim,” Jeno clicked his tongue at my rough gesture, running his fingers through his hair. “I don’t think I could think of her romantically even if I was paid five million won.”

Mr. Song tapped his knuckles against the boy’s head. “Be nice to girls, Jeno. I was joking. I guess you finally found another boy to bully, Ahn?”

“In my defense, sir, the last boy was the one who bullied me.”

“Pfft—”

“I liked you better with the other boy you were friends with, yes. Why don’t I see him with you anymore? You seemed to cause a lot less trouble with—”

Jeno swung the door open. “I think we should get to our seats, Ahn-ah. I’m sorry about the trouble Mr. Song.” His hands clasped around my shoulders and ushered me into the classroom, another scuff to probably form as I tried to not trip over my own feet or drop my books. He shoved me toward my seat.

“Hey—”

“Shh,” he shot an annoying smile at my irritation. “Class is starting.”

“Rude. I think Donghyuck got to you too,” I grumble, sinking my face into the palm of my hand as my notebooks lay in disarray on my desk. It was unfortunate that our homeroom teacher was nice. He let Jeno sit next to me.

“I’ll call attendance now.” 

My unfortunate seatmate leaned closer toward me. I inched away, rolling my eyes as he whispered.

“So… does that make me better BFF material?” His eyes disappeared into crescents as he prodded me with is a pencil, chuckling deviously. I slapped his hand away.

“You’re still not as funny as him.”

“What the hell—”

“H-here.”

“Lee, Jeno?” Mr. Song stared at the black-haired boy with a raised eyebrow.

To which he coughed loudly to cover up his expletive.

And aside from Harvey’s little announcement that morning, the rest of the day went on without a hitch. Soon enough, Monday turned into Tuesday, which morphed into Wednesday and bumped into Thursday. All the “day”s seemed the same. Monotonous. The only thing that was different was the slowly shifting breeze and the changing colors of the leaves of plants and trees. The autumn scenery was finally settling in.

And you know what they say about autumn.

It was a fitting season for the boy in front of me. A season of endings and changes—amongst all the other autumn things. 

“Why are you tearing them down?” I caught a piece of paper that fluttered down the stairway. It had been a while since I spoke English, the language strange on my tongue. “They’re cute.”

Harvey turned around and flashed a tight-lipped smile. He shook his head with a disappointed exhale. “Quite frankly, the whole thing was a bust.” His hand reached for another DNYL poster, one of many that scattered the walls of this place.

I picked up some rogue posters that fell onto the steps, approaching the foreign boy. I wasn’t lying about the posters being cute. They were handmade and created with color and illustration, the words written in an aesthetic way. Though, I didn’t mind to read them. 

“Why’d you make the club in the first place?”

“I guess I’ve just seen those people around campus who’ve just been so unhappy,” he said. “It felt horrible knowing that there was nothing I could do to help but I thought to myself that maybe, just maybe, if I created a safe haven away from that heartbreak, then nobody would feel lonely enough to cry their heart out. Have you ever had the feeling of wanting to start something beautiful?” Harvey’s eyes were green and genuine. The golden light from the window was filtered through leaves, creating a taste of a nostalgic, bittersweet what-if. 

“Once,” I answered, a feeling pulling at my chest. An urge. A remembrance of what was and what could have been. There was a wish for warmth, even soaked in the honey glow of the sun. Longing. For new beginnings. 

Who hasn’t felt the wish for something to ignite?

For something to explode.

For undreamt dreams to just come true.

“I guess I also wanted to leave a small legacy before I leave. I need to go back home pretty soon.” A solemn sigh left Harvey once again as he stared down at one of his white posters. A pitiful silence hung in the air, dust fairies dancing and floating around us, falling and disappearing away from the light.

“Maybe you just need to find your targeted audience,” the words didn’t mean to come out of my lips, but they did anyway. “NCT is a highschool where teenage romance never sleeps. You’d be best off finding some outliers—y’know like the people you mentioned.”

“The ones I’ve seen around campus?”

“Yeah. Those who have been dumped, had a bad breakup, dealing with a broken heart… isn’t that what you said this club was for?”

“I wouldn’t suppose you’re one of those outliers?” He called out.

I looked behind at Harvey and the colorful papers that stuck out from his arms and his backpack. I looked at the empty walls and the tape that he wasn’t able to scrape off and half torn stickers that spelled ‘DN’. I look at him and smile without meaning to.

“If this is truly the coolest club on campus, then send a message my way.

“I don't have your number.”

“Who said you needed to text me to communicate? Send me something interesting—something special. I wanna feel like I’m being invited to the Phantom’s masquerade,” I turned away, biting at the inside of my cheek. My next words came at a frightening decrescendo as I realized what I was getting myself into. “If you find that I’m suited for your club…surprise me.

<< recruiting now | masterlist | boys are never worth it >>

footnotes -

saem: a shortened word for ‘seongsaeng-nim’ or teacher.

oppa: well, I think we all know this one but I mostly use it to signify respect or difference of age

#dnyl #lee jeno #lee donghyuck #na jaemin #huang renjun #nct #nct dream #nct dream series #nct dream au #dnyl club #highschool!nct dream #au #nct dream fluff #park jisung #zhong chenle #jaemin #renjun #lee haechan #haechan #jeno #classmate!jeno #best friend!donghyuck #dnyl series

[raiswriting]

dancing with your ghost

inspired by this song

warnings: symptoms that are similar to mental health issues like depression but never explicitly stated

genre: pure angst sorry

pairing: lucas/yukhei wong x reader

summary: ummm heartache???? basically the aftermath of a ‘hey let’s pretend to be dating bc i need someone to take to this wedding and you need someone to scare off your ex’ type of story

word count: 1582

a/n: lmao i am reposting this because it absolutely flopped the first time hehehe ALSO i made a playlist to go with this story. the first half or so is the same playlist that is mentioned in the story then the second half is more about the theme of it. i put way too much effort into it but i hope you enjoy it!! 

there was an emptiness that couldn’t be filled

an ache that couldn’t be soothed

a feeling of nostalgia for what never was

honestly you couldn’t be sure if this hole in your chest was a bad thing anymore. you’d grown so used to it that the thought of one day living with out it seemed so fantastical and out of reach. you found a sort of morbid comfort in the sorrow

time has slipped away as routine comfortably took its place. mondays became indistinguishable from wednesday or friday. the only thing separating saturday and sunday from the rest was the lack of work.

your thoughts drifted from the idea of getting up and taking a shower or even just washing your face to the cup of tea that’s been sitting on the coffee table and once more to your phone lying next to it. it lit up with yet another text message to which you would send yet another half-assed response of ‘id love to get together but work has been super busy lately and i need a me weekend.’ you wonder how many more ‘me weekends’ you’d be able to have before someone saw through it.

you just couldn’t have that face to face conversation with any of them. how do you explain that none of it was serious. or that all he needed was someone to take to family get-togethers for when his uncles would ask about his love life. or that you had grown so used to his hand in yours that the emptiness you felt when he wasn’t there scared you. or that you missed him. how could you look someone in the eyes and say that you had not only lost a love but also a best friend. how do you describe that hurt. how do you say that you feel unlovable. how.

you couldn’t say those thoughts aloud because as soon as you did they’d become real. he would really be gone. and happy. and in love. and you would have to admit that you were hurting. you’d have to admit that it was really over.

so instead you lay here on the sofa. and keep it all in. sometimes you can’t help but remember him. and how happy he’d been.

the knock on your door drew your attention from the sheet of cookies ready to go into the oven.

there he stood in the doorway with a smile so bright that it put the stars on the clearest of nights to shame.

‘hey y/n’ he pulled you into a warm embrace. the scent of his cologne was intoxicating. strong and inviting, the prefect reflection of his personality.

‘hey lucas. i wasn’t expecting to stop by today.’

‘yeah i just wanted to share some good news with you. like really good news. like i came here as fast as I could kind of news.’ he spoke so excitedly as he followed you back into the kitchen.

‘well spit it out,’ you reply while placing the sheet of cookies in the oven.

‘i found someone,’ his smile wider than ever.

you almost dropped the sheet of cookies as you took in what he said. you knew this day would come. the day he would find someone to actually love and care for. the day he no longer needed you. but still you hoped and prayed that maybe there was something there. maybe the secret touches shared between just the two of you actually meant something. that maybe he’d choose you.

he didn’t.

‘so get this. i was walking into the coffee shop on seventh street that me and you usually go to. and i bumped into this gorgeous girl and spilled her whole coffee so i offered to buy her a new one.’ he rubbed the back of his neck and looked to the floor. ‘so cheesy and cliché i know. but y/n this girl. we talked and talked and she made everything seem to….right. when I looked into her eyes i just felt…’ he sighed and leaned against the counter.

‘…like everything just seemed to make sense for once.’ you finished the sentence for him as you checked on the cookies.

‘yeah exactly’ he didn’t even try the hide his love struck expression. it was clear as day that he was really falling. ‘when i talked to her it was so easy. almost as if we knew each other for years.’

we did.

you looked him in the eyes for the first time since he broke the news and forced a smile to your face. you couldn’t even fathom the idea of ruining this for him.

‘lucas im ecstatic for you.’

‘really?’

‘of course. if there’s anyone who deserves true love and happiness in life, it’s you.’ and you meant that. it just hurts that he found it in someone else.

‘and hey. at least now you actually have someone to take to all your family functions.’

he chuckled lightly, ‘yeah you’re right. i don’t know if your cheeks could handle another one if aunt maya’s pinches.’

‘the pinches i could handle,’ you say as you forced a laugh out, ‘but I’d have to buy a gym membership if i had another dinner at your parents house.’

‘it’s not my fault mom loves insisting on third helpings’ this time he let out a full real laugh, remembering all the shared glances between the two of you at a dinner table. wondering how you could possibly eat another slice of meatloaf.

‘we can celebrate your new found love with some cookies, if you’d like. they should be done in a minute or two.’

the smile dropped slightly from his face. ‘oh y/n. i’d love to really but i promised angelina that i’d meet her again for coffee. i just stopped by the tell you the good news.’

‘of course, of course. you should get going then. a love like this comes around once in a life time.’ and who am i to stand in the way of someone living their lifetime.

lucas cast a sympathetic look before pushing himself off of the counter and embracing you once more.

‘thank you for everything y/n. seriously. you’ve helped me out so much. if you need anything let me know.’ his cologne was still so strong. and it hurt to know that someone else was going to experience it like this.

‘that’s what best friends are for lucas. you’ll be the first person i call when im sick and throwing up everywhere.’

you could feel him chuckle lightly before placing a kiss on the top of your head.

‘you got it y/n.’

the door shut, leaving you alone.

your hands shook as you took the cookies out of the oven and set the tray in the stove top. they shook as you turned it off. they shook as you took off the oven mits. they shook as you ran them down your face only to find them wet with tears. and they shook as you lowered yourself to the kitchen floor.

your hands were steady now and found their way to that playlist like muscle memory. you had long since deleted all the photos of you and him. but you just couldn’t find the strength to delete this. he had made it for you before the whole fiasco of pretending to be together had ever crossed either of your minds. he said that ‘these song remind me of us.’ and maybe you had gotten your own hopes up. maybe you had searched too deeply between the lines of lyrics. maybe you looked so hard that you had only found what you wanted to. because they were just songs. songs of bad timing and unrequited love. but at the end of the day still. just. songs.

as they played throughout the room. filling the stale silence as your body began to move, lifting you from the couch. your gaze landing on the sweater which rested on the arm of a chair. it was his. he had left it accidentally when spending the night here one time. you had meant to give it back for some time now but haven’t been able to. everytime you had gained the courage to call him and ask him over, he was busy. eventually you stopped calling. and he stopped texting. stopped checking in. so there the sweater sits. still smelling of him.

your body began to move once more reaching out for it and pulling it close to you. maybe if you breathed in enough of his scent, it’d feel like he was here with you again. of course it didn’t but it was as close you could get.

your hips swayed to the rhythm. as your feet worked their way around the living room. stepping over pillows and discarded take out. you danced for the first time in what felt like years. you felt the tears fall but paid them no mind. still clutching the article of clothing impossibly close to you, you sang along with the lyrics.

Yelling at the sky

Screaming at the world

Baby, why’d you go away?

I’m still your girl

Holding on too tight

Head up in the clouds

Heaven only knows

Where you are now

I stay up all night

Tell myself I’m alright

Baby, you’re just harder to see than most

I put the record on

Wait ‘til I hear our song

Every night I’m dancing with your ghost

Every night I’m dancing with your ghost

a/n: there it is. i was listening to this song today and got super inspired and just had to write. there’s also a reference to a hobo johnson song if you can find it ;) thanks for reading. let me know if you’d like a prequel to this when reader and lucas were together. i hope you enjoyed and pls feel free to leave constructive criticism. thanks, rai :)

#lucasa #lucas nct #NCT 127 #super m #Taeil #taeyong #johnny #nct reactions #nct scenarios #nct imagines #mark #jungwoo #jaehyun #haechan #doyoung #lucas x reader #Yuta #winwin #angst #kpop #kpop scenarios #kpop reactions #kpop imagines

[baljeet]

in which baz yeets to cairo to avoid simon

or, a snowbaz high school au featuring a kiss that wasn’t supposed to happen, fall out boy, and snowbaz as oblivious gays™

word count: 2328

First of all, my date with Samantha was a mistake. Of course, I didn’t think it was a mistake at the time. She’d caught me off-guard after class one day, and I didn’t realize that dinner on a Friday qualified as a date until we were staring awkwardly at each other across the table at a decidedly grimy Italian joint, and she nearly threw her water glass at me when I said, “So, shall we split the bill?”

Needless to say, Samantha and I don’t speak much anymore. I suppose that’s a good thing—but really, it was nice to have the distraction from some of the more difficult things in my life.

Namely, the fact that I see Simon Snow every day, and he still wraps me in an infuriatingly casual one-armed hug like we’re best bros on the football team. Not that Simon Snow would be caught dead playing football, but that’s beside the point. The point is that I’ve known him for years, since we were both in middle school and I somehow wound up at his lunch table with nowhere else to sit one day, blasting Fall Out Boy on my iPod shuffle and pretending like I wasn’t looking at him smile. I wish I could wax poetic about how I’ve come a long way from then, say some profound shit about how much I’ve grown, but really—

It’s four years later, we still eat lunch together, and I’m still blasting Fall Out Boy and trying to sort out this knot in my chest they like to call emotion (for what it’s worth, however, I’ve graduated to an iPhone). He knows everything about Samantha, though, which was definitely a gutsy move on my part. But something in me is waiting for that moment when I go too far and he calls me back. Scratch that, I realize two days after that disastrous date, staring at the wall because it’s better than looking in the mirror at the confusion in my eyes. He knows everything about Samantha except why I’m leaving her.

Because despite it all, despite the time and the relationships that have come and gone, despite everything that’s happened in these past four years—

I’m hopelessly in love with Simon Snow.

I’ve written about it a thousand times, everything from poems to stories to haikus, and one day I even made a playlist (featuring exactly zero Fall Out Boy songs) for him, but my finger always hovers just above the send button. When did something so small and hospital-blue become so intimidating?

Simon, of course, is completely oblivious. He has no problem hitting that button, sending me random thoughts he has throughout the day, something he thought was funny and wanted to share, the occasional meme—normal friend stuff.

I wonder what it’s like to text without over-analyzing every character.

But it’s something I’m going to have to keep wondering, because I’ve been staring at my phone for the past hour or so, trying to figure out the best way to tell Samantha that while I appreciate her asking me out, it’s not a relationship I’d like to pursue. A sentiment that sounds nice enough in my head, but every time I try and type it out, it reads: ur cool but i’m kind of in love with someone else. and that someone else is a guy so uh have a heart ig and don’t hate me bc i have to sit next to you in bio every day for the next 6 months. Sending a text like that, however, would be disastrous. So I don’t.

Instead, I find her after class on Monday, and say, far too quickly, “Friday was fun but I don’t like you.”

“What?” she replies, stopping in her tracks.

My first thought is that now we’re those irritating kids in the hallway who just stop for no reason, and we’re probably holding everyone up, and it’s only when she says, “Um, Baz?” that I realize she’s asked me a question.

“I don’t like you. Like that. I mean. We can still be friends. If you’re chill. We’re chill, right?” I’m speaking in fragments; it’s probably incoherent, but she seems to get it. Or at least, it looks like she does.

She nods. “Sure. Friends.”

“Perfect!” I reply. “I’m so glad we worked this out.”

Samantha doesn’t reply, but the hallway is too crowded for her to slip away, so we continue to walk side by side. The silence is palpable, and I debate whether or not it would be rude to put my earbuds in until it’s too late because I see my bus.

I practically barrel over to the kid I sit with—I forget if his name is Jack or John—and strike up a conversation. “Hey, man, what’s up?”

Jack/John just gives me a strange look, opting to sit somewhere else today. I slide into my empty two-seater, and my heart skips a beat when I see a text from Simon. did you talk to samantha?

I debate whether or not to reply, though honestly, what would I even say in reply? He thinks I’ve broken things off with her because of some carefully placed comments about “not being over my ex,” but lying to Simon is something I’d rather not do.

I don’t reply, and I’m grateful when a text comes a moment later from another classmate. you really dodged a bullet with samantha, i heard she’s a homophobe.

Without thinking, I forward the message to Simon.

His reply sends chills down my spine that really shouldn’t be there. only one way to find out.

Tuesday brings with it a torrential downpour. I think it’s rather fitting. Today’s music is Paramore, which I haven’t listened to since freshman year, but the rain plus the uncertainty is definitely a Paramore mood.

Despite the rather dreadful weather, Simon’s wearing his brilliant smile, as always, and finishing the last of his breakfast scone, as always. “So, I heard about Samantha—Baz, you went on a date with her. Did you know?”

“Simon, I didn’t even know it was a date until the end,” I reply, shaking my head.

He punches me in the arm. “You’re kidding, right?”

I arch an eyebrow at him. “How was I supposed to know?”

“My god, Baz. It was dinner. On a Friday night. What class do you even have with her? AP Bio.? How on earth are you managing an AP class when you can’t even understand that was a date?”

Now that it’s all spelled out, I suppose it makes sense. “I wish I hadn’t done it. And if Samantha really is a homophobe, then I really wish I hadn’t done it.”

Simon shrugs. “It’s alright. It’s like the time I almost kissed Victor during gym when he was just trying to reach past me to get the badminton racquets.”

I laugh as though the story is an old memory I haven’t thought about in ages, when really, that can’t be farther than the truth. Simon’s story about Victor had been his way of coming out, and it had been the day that I’d realized there was a real chance for us.

“Embarrassing love stories aside, we should probably head to class. You need all the extra education you can get, clearly,” he cuts off, swiftly changing direction and making a left towards the science hallway, where he has chemistry and I have physics.

We’re about halfway to where we usually part ways when I see her out of the corner of my eye. Samantha. She hasn’t seen me, though; she’s talking (rather loudly) to her friends about some encounter with a kid in her PE class. But then she says, “He’s such a f*g, you know? Like my god, I get that you’re gay but you don’t have to be so obnoxious about it.”

I don’t catch the name of who she’s talking about. It doesn’t matter—I’m seeing red, my hands are clenched in fists, and I’ve spun around on the spot to face her direction.

“Baz—” Simon says.

I’m so angry I barely register that he’s grabbed my hand.

Samantha’s seen me now; her eyes catch mine and widen in recognition. I’m only two steps away from her when Simon tugs me the other way. “Baz. Take a deep breath, getting into a fight won’t solve anything.”

“Can you believe her?” I snap back in reply. “Who the fuck does she think she is?”

I’m coming up with more terrible things to say to Samantha when Simon’s grip tightens on my wrist, moving further up my arm.

“What are you—”

“This will really piss her off, and I’m not even going to say anything,” Simon replies with a smile.

His eyes are so close and so bright.

It’s the last clear thought I have before he presses me against the lockers and kisses me.

I wish I could say I kiss him back.

I don’t. I freeze. Hands pinned to my sides, eyes squeezed shut, balance wavering, wondering if this is all a dream.

But then I dare to open one eye, just a crack, and there is Simon, clear as day.

He pulls away, but one of his hands remains on my arm. “Baz, I—”

His words are cut off by the bell.

“See you at lunch,” is all I manage to stammer out, before stumbling half-dazed into Calculus.

I do not see him at lunch; apparently, Simon has a club meeting. I don��t know if I am more relieved or upset when Penny reminds me that there’s band practice today and he won’t be joining us.

I don’t recall what I say to her in reply. My mind is far-off, on a constant replay of that moment, over and over and over as I wonder how I managed to fuck up so badly.

I’d literally frozen. Up against the lockers, not even moving, hadn’t even kissed him back . . .

It’s still replaying through my head when I get home, skipping the stairs on my way up to my room.

Simon Snow kissed me.

It doesn’t seem real.

But it is real, because Samantha’s un-added me on Snapchat, and there’s a text from Simon saying that he’s sorry, and everything is catching up with me and I’m not thinking.

I’m only typing as fast as my hands will let me.

hey simon. so there were a lot of opportunities for me to tell you this today, honestly i couldn’t find the words and i didn’t even know if i should tell you. but i feel awful and i think you should know the truth. so here goes. i didn’t want to break things off with samantha because i’m not over my ex. it was because i realized i might have feelings for you. i don’t expect you to feel the same way at all, but i’m so tired of keeping this secret. so yeah, now it’s out there, i guess. —baz.

I stare it it. Everything I’ve wanted to say for years, all condensed in the tiny message box, and the only thing stopping me is that damned blue button.

One . . . Two. . . Three.

Before I can talk myself out of it, I press send.

Then, I promptly throw my phone across the room. There’s a resounding crack as it hits the wooden headboard of my bed. I’ve probably fractured the screen, but I don’t really mind.

I start to walk downstairs, but after two steps I whirl back around, sprinting to my room and grabbing the phone.

No answer.

I start a movie. Some Michael Bay trash I can focus on without really thinking.

An hour passes.

No answer.

I finish the movie and debate whether or not to start another one, before deciding to play Solitaire.

Another hour passes.

No answer.

I actually do my Calculus homework for once, spending two hours trying to figure out what the fuck a derivative is.

Two hours pass before I check my phone again.

There’s a text from Simon.

I almost throw my phone down the stairs, but I restrain myself, turning off my speakers so Twenty-One Pilots isn’t blasting louder than my thoughts anymore and I can focus.

i really don’t know how i should reply to this. this is honestly a surprise to me but i’m glad to know the truth, even if it complicates things. i’m not quite sure how i feel, but this feels like a conversation we should have in person. talk to you soon?

I read it no less than twelve times before beginning to type my reply. ok, see you.

Then I pace back and forth across my room until I’m dizzy, wondering if I’m supposed to call him or he’s supposed to call me or if I should invite him over, or if it’s too late to, or if I should ask him when exactly we’re going to talk, considering tomorrow I’m leaving for a family reunion in Cairo and I won’t have my phone for ten days . . .

But I don’t say anything else.

I do not sleep that night. I stare at the ceiling and wonder at the possibilities. Wonder at the fact that Simon kissed me and even though I didn’t kiss him back he didn’t completely shut me down, that there’s something hopeful about that text, about the future.

About our future.

Maybe.

That maybe lingers for the rest of the night, and for that morning as I pack for Cairo.

It lingers as I leave for the airport, staring out the car window and trying not to look too much at my reflection, eyes brighter than they’ve been in a while.

It lingers as I get on a direct flight to Cairo, and though it’s reckless of me, I send Simon a text that says, i’ll miss you.

My phone loses service a few minutes before cruising altitude.

I think it’s oddly appropriate that my Simon playlist comes on my shuffle.

#snowbaz #simon snow #tyrannus basilton grimm pitch #highschool au #* #emsfam #vics parivaar #thezavengers #eloquencenet

[internettgf69]

Y/N stares too much

I never post my writing anymore bc I feel that it’s not that good... which it’s really not, but I wanted to get your thoughts on this unfinished longgggg thing I wrote, give me some good constructive criticisms.

Y/N knows she shouldn't stare but she does it anyway, she can't help it. She sits in the coffee shop every Thursday afternoon and watches the man with the dimpled smile, and the twinkly green eyes. She sees him a lot, on campus and at the coffee shop, and sometimes in her English class. He seems really sweet from what she observes, he always has a brown leather satchel and a very soft looking sweater on. He always looks cozy.

She tried talking to him once, she really did, but all that came out was "can I borrow a pencil?" but she had a pencil right in front of her. So she kinda looked like a donut for asking. He looks down at her "desk" and says "I think you've already got that covered" and he smiles a very cute eye crinkling smile, and turns back around.

But here she is at the coffee shop behind him in line, with her best friend Niall. Who's been nagging her all month about talking to "the guy with pretty eyes"... as so he calls him.

"C'mon babe, speak up will ya?". "Ni, no he's obviously busy. "Yeah, he seems real busy just standin' waitin' fo his coffee, go onnnn" Niall urges her forward so that she's standing right next to him. Y/N stumbles on her feet and bumps shoulders with him on accident. "Oop, ow I'm sorry" she looks down at her feet rubbing her shoulder.

When she looks up from her feet and finally looks up at him, she steps back a little because wow Y/N has never seen him up close only from her desk and at her go to table at the coffee shop. And his eyes are really green and his lips are that perfect shade of red, like when your done kissing someone for a long time.

"Um, hi I'm uh I'm sorry, I've got wobbly feet" she says looking down at her feet again. "It's alright, but heyyy I've seen you before haven't I?" He says tapping his finger on his chin. Her eyes winded "yes, yeah you have we have English together, and I come here every Thursday, it's close to campus". "Oh yeah that's right you sit behind me, and you asked for a pencil once but you already had one" He says smiling fondly at her.

"Yeah, ha I remember that... I'm Y/N by the way" she says sticking her hand out. "I'm Harry, nice to meet you" he takes her small hand in his. "Wow tiny hands for a tiny human" He grins squeezing her hand. "Black coffee for Harry!" "Ah that's me, nice meeting you Y/N see you in class Monday?" He says grabbing his coffee and heading for the door.

"Yeah sure bye Harry!"

"Now was that so hard? He seems very sweet, and your right he has a beautiful smile" Niall laughs coming up behind her.

Y/N huffs, "shut up"

**************************************

Next week rolls around really fast for Y/N and next thing she knows it, it's Monday, and she has to be up and ready for her 6 o'clock class which so happens to be English.

She's running late hasn't even had breakfast or brushed her hair, and she's rolled out of bed, and throws on a pair of leggings, and her favorite fluffy light blue sweater, and her ugly little crocs, and she's out the door with her backpack hanging open and a green juice in her hand.

She's on the way to class when she remembers the paper that was due last night at 12 am and she stops walking and lets out a small whine stomping her foot. Mad and tired she takes a deep breath and checks her phone and sprints to class.

Rushing into the room not even watching her feet, which is a huge mistake on her part because now she's tripped over the steps to her seat and she's face down booty up on the floor spilling her green juice all over her ruining her favorite sweater.

Y/N takes a deep breath because she knows, just knows people are snickering all around her, and if she lets that get to her she'll start to cry and she really doesn't want to cry. But then she hears Harry asking if she's okay and, that just does it she's getting up open backpack in hand and she's crying like full on ugly girl crying.

"I um my drink I'm wearing my freakin' drink on my favorite sweater, and I was late and I'm tired and I didn't finish my English paper on time" She's full on crying now, and she can't stop now.

"Awe poppet, hey calm down yeah?" Harry's by her side now and he's ushering her out of class taking her backpack and picking up her drink, well what's left of it.

Once they get outside he drops their bags on the floor and then he does something that shocks her. He engulfs her in a huge bear hug, stroking her hair a whispering that it's going to be ok and that she's just having a bad day. She pulls away sniffling "I um I'm sorry I got my green juice on your nice comfy sweater"

"It's okay doll, you were just having a bad day but stop apologizing to me will ya?" Harry says tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. Y/N blushes and nods her head.

"What do you say about coming back to mine and grabbing a pizza? I also have some clothes for you to change into". "Oh um-" interrupting he says "I know that you really don't know me but I promises I'm not a crazy killer, and plus I have a really soft sweater with your name on it!”. Laughing she says "I know your not crazy, I was just worried about class".

"Oh you'll be fine it's college they won't call your parents, and you can miss just one day I can even help you finish your paper maybe the professor will let you turn it in even though it's late". "Okay, you had me at a comfy sweater" Y/N chirps grabbing her backpack. "Do you live on campus?" She asks. "No, I don't stopped living on campus when I was a sophomore" he hums. "How about you?" "Yeah, I do but I live in the campus apartments, so no roommates thank god" Y/N says smiling. "Well this is me, here let me get the door for you" he smiled opening his car door for me. "Thank you"

He jogs over the the drivers side and gets in. "So Y/N what year are you in, and what are you majoring?" "I'm a sophomore, so my second year and I'm studying to become a elementary school teacher" she answers fiddling with her phone. "Ah pretty cool" He says drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. "How about you what's year, and what's your major?""This is actually my last year, and I'm a English major" He says. Y/N smiles "wow your last year, did you enjoy college and all it had to other?" "Hm? Did enjoy college? Yes I did but will I do it again? No. but um this is it we're here".

He walked hoped out the car and jogged over to the passengers side and opened up her door once again. Y/N blinked "Oh thank you". "No worries come on, I'm starved and that smoothie looks like it might leave a stain".

Once they get inside Y/N is hit with the great smells of Harry, it's like cinnamon sugar and pine trees. Weird combination but it works, she looks around his place while Harry goes to find her a sweater. Books are everywhere and shelves filled with books. She walks over to the book shelves and runs he hands across them. "I got you this really nice sweater got it in Paris" Harry comes in with a yellow sweater with black sleeves that looks so soft.

She pulls her hand back from the books startled. "oh! Thanks um, did you read all these or are they just for decoration". He hands her over the sweater "I actually almost read all of them but school is getting really busy so no not all of them". "Oh okay, well I'll go change, bathroom?" "Oh yeah it's just around the corner to your left" He says pointing down the hallway. "I'll order the pizza, and when you get back we can work on that paper of yours or we can watch a movie".

"Okay sounds good, I'll be back" once she finds the bathroom she turns the light on and she lets out a yelp, seeing that there's a huge fat orange cat just sitting in the sink. Harry comes in rushing into the bathroom "Y/N?! You okay? Oh ha I see you meet Fat Amy?" "Yeah I guess I did, and oh my god did she scare me" she's clutching her chest and lets out a chuckle.

"So she just sits there?" "Kind of or sometimes likes to cuddle, but sorry about that you can change now". Harry picks up the orange cat and walks out leaving her to change.She takes off her dirty sweater and putting on Harry's, she's engulfed with Harry's scent once again she wraps her arms around herself and just breaths in his scent. "So pizza?" She walks into where harry is sat on the couch going through his phone. "Yeah we can get some what kind do you want?"

#harry styles blurb #harry styles #fluffy #theres a fat cat in this #💜💜

[unbadgr]

so i haven’t used this space as a public journal in a while and it’s mostly been working out but also i miss the cathartic feeling of dumping all my feelings into a text post and sending it off into the internet aether where friends and strangers alike can read or not read. 

so let’s do that again. general life update and musings under the cut:

so the first big thing that happened recently: i got promoted to being a storyboard artist!!

it was a really sudden timing-based thing, basically i went into the week like any other week and then by friday i was finishing up my last revisions and getting ready to start on an episode the following monday.

and... since then i’ve kind of been going back and forth with ‘this is not such a big deal, this is the natural next step of my growth of an artist, don’t freak out it will be fine!!’ and ‘i think im freaking out.’ ‘cause it’s both a big deal and not a big deal. this is THE job i trained for in 7 years of college. so many all-nighters and tears and un-diagnosed mental health issues i had to endure and... i made it?? jesus christ i made it.

but then i take a step back and it’s like ‘yeah of course you made it you silly goose, you put in all the necessary hours and you didn’t give up you were already sitting comfy as a revisionist and you were planning on asking for a promotion ANYWAYS later this month. so be proud and reap your rewards because you earned them!’

i’ve had myself a few good cries since then and so far, it’s gone really well! my first review went great and  i’m working on finishing my first ep!

in other storyboard-related news, i was a part time remote instructor for my alma mater this past spring semester! together with a fellow alumn/co-worker, we volunteered to teach the senior storyboard class. we could meet once a week and class time as spent either doing in-depth critiques/notes and/or, essentially, group therapy lol.

 ‘cause for real, being an artist is half technical skill and half self-care, and we wished that was made more obvious to us while we were in school. so teaching a class using what we have learned from being in the industry and still having fresh memories of college (class of 2015 here) was a really cathartic thing for us (the instructors) and the students seemed to really appreciate the honesty. teaching a class of scared anxious twenty-somethings really helped me come to terms with my own experiences, as well as putting into perspective my place in the world and how i got here. giving notes on the student’s boards has also helped make me a better storyboard artist in general. it’s an experience i would love to have again.

in non-art related news, i joined a local gym! it’s kicking my ass and i’m looking forward to becoming a healthier, stronger person! and my PT reminds me of a young Furiosa with two-toned hair, so that helps lol.

oh and i also spent the last week in New York which was a lot of fun! pro tip: if your are ever in New York, defs get tickets to Sleep No More. it’s an interactive theater experience where you get to explore 5 floors of a “hotel” and follow around actors performing an adaptation of Macbeth set in 1920s/30s New York. wear comfy shoes and split of with your friends if you go in a group. trust me. 

and then when i got back from NY, i went to see The Adventure Zone graphic novel tour in San Diego! it was so fucking awesome and Ashley Birch was there as a special guest. she did the voices for Killian and the gerblins and it was just so delightful. the comic itself is gorgeous too.

and then tomorrow i’m off to NorCal real quick to watch Imagine Dragons in concert!! nbd!!

and then i’m never leaving LA again bc between seeing my students graduate, going to NY, San Diego, and SF, i have more than burned up my vacation days lol.

anyways, how about all those Comic Con trailers and announcements?? hot dang.

#un irl