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the-ship-maker-2 · 9 months

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can i ask for some headcanons?

maybe creeps and a child proxy whos only comfy around them bc they remind them of a fave foster parent?

🐸 and a forg for your troubles

Jeff, Toby, EJ, Nina and Jane with a child proxy who's only comfy around them HCs

- Jeff never expected to be in a parental/big brother roll again. He's supposed to be the most notorious and feared killer there is. Not fucking playing single dad over here! So imagine his surprise when the slenderman brought in a child no more than 4 years old and apparently the kid has no fear factor they just ran up to the biggest baddest person there was and befriended him. Ever since then Jeff became wrapped around their little finger.

-very over protective of them. He won't let anyone train them except for him and him alone. And if he has to let someone else take the reins for a bit he's watching them closely like a hawk. Trains them in relatively age appropriate ways as they grow up. They play pretend fucked up scenarios like how missions work or what to do when things go wrong how to interact with the other creeps. Think of it like 'it's me your scumbag dad' videos. He will teach them how to curse and questionable life lessons as they grow up.

-Toby is way too much of a nervous wreck to take care of himself let alone anyone else. And ever since Lyra died he's been too afraid to get attached to someone ever again despite the void in his heart. So imagine to everyone's surprise when the slenderman brought home a child no more than 9 years old. Clearly traumatized and heart broken and shooken up about whatever happened that brought them there. Toby protested about putting the kid with him as slenderman wouldn't take no for an answer. He's holding the kid out like how Mike wazozski holds out boo for the first time.

-at first he tried to distance himself from the child. Going as far as hitting and being mean to the child. He left them in the woods once. However that child was a persistent little creature and always found their way back to Toby. They followed him around everywhere like a lost puppy until he started to warm up to them after accepting that they'll forever always be there. He teaches them a lot of nature stuff. How to track. How to survive in the woods and to fight off predators. The raccoons and possums are your friends. He actually enjoyed being the big brother for once and the child filled the void in his heart that he desperately craved for.

-Jane was thrilled when the slenderman brought home a little girl. She's always had mothering instincts and she immediately scooped the child into her arms and the rest is history.

-very protective of her and keeps her the he'll away from Jeff. Going as far to lock her in her bedroom when Jane or anyone else she trusted wasn't around to accompany her. Keeps her on a very strict schedule for training and life to establish a routine before she allows the freedom of leeway and slight change of plans. Especially establishes a beauty routine. Jane teaches her that there are more than one ways to kill. Brains over brawn. Beauty comes second. Occasionally if they have free time they will have a girl's night where they do spa treatments, each other's hair, makeup and they eat relatively healthy snacks as they watch movies and gossip.

-EJ was quite confused when the slenderman dropped off a child to him with no word. Is it food? A sacrifice? A new prey?. He was curious and the child was non verbal so it's not like they could answer either besides head nods and writing and facial expressions and body language. Really he ended up not caring and didn't really bother the child as long as the child did not bother him.

-it all changed when the child showed intrigued in anatomy. After he caught them reading his old college textbooks. They communicate by sounds at this point. Showed them on a dead person where the organs were and why they were important. Later on the child became more of the strong silent type and was basically EJs assistant. They have a mentor/apprentice relationship. The kid knows first aid as well and makes a fine medic

-Nina was hyperactively jumping up and down for joy when the slenderman brought a 10 year old girl home who had the same aesthetic as her. They clicked instantly and immediately bounced off of each other's crack head energy.

-shes Nina's partner in crime and has never separated from her and Nina won't trade that for the world.

I hope you like these and feel free to ask again!

#ask box #answered #creepypasta #creepypasta fandom #jeffery woods #jeff the killer #toby rogers #ticci toby #jack nicholls #eyeless jack #nina hopkins #nina the killer #jane richardson #jane the killer #fluffy #head canons #send me requests #please flood my inbox #please and thank you

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sapphire-weapon · 11 months

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i think it's totally cool to enjoy leon and ashley as a platonic dynamic. but the whole "sibling coded" take really rubs me the wrong way bc it feels like it's used as a way to devalue their relationship? especially by a certain subset of shippers. they can't deny that leon and ashley have a strong bond and are clearly very important to each other, but they can make it less of a "threat" by insisting that canon portrays them as "totally platonic siblings" when that is not the case at all

It's modern fandom's way of engaging in casual misogyny in a socially acceptable way. Ashley's not allowed to have her own sexual agency, despite literally asking Leon to fuck her in OG.

There are so many kids in modern-day fandom who just wish they were back in my generation's days of outright calling a female character a slut and wishing death on her because she gets in the way of a ship. Oh dear lord do they wish they were still in those days.

But those days are long gone and they know they'll get jumped on for saying shit like that, so suddenly they just decide one day that they'll read the relationship as "found family" without understanding what the found family trope actually is, just so that they can turn it into "sibling/incest" discourse. Or they make up some fantasy about how the 7-year age gap is "problematic" when literally anyone who goes outside and engages with society in the real world would call that fucking insane.

And I've said it before and I'll say it again: reading Leon and Ashley as siblings is just an incorrect interpretation of Leon, and you are misunderstanding his character on a fundamental level if you interpret him this way.

Leon is the Protector archetype. That's literally what's at the core of his entire character arc. He fights for a government he doesn't trust in ways he doesn't believe in, because he has to in order to protect somebody (Sherry).

That's still fucking true after RE4. It doesn't just go away. That's literally the reason why he turns down Ashley's proposal to become her security detail. He can't do that, because he still has to dance to the gov't's tune, because he still has to worry about them possibly hurting Sherry if he doesn't.

And if Leon really felt like Ashley was family -- the way that he feels Sherry is family? He would never have cut her out of his life post-RE4. That's not who he is. He is a Protector with a need to protect, and he's stubborn as fuck about it and won't ask for help.

Sure, Leon can't emotionally bring himself to actually have a relationship with Sherry because of the crippling, overwhelming guilt he feels... but he still checks on her. Even if she doesn't know it, he's still watching over her, still making sure she's okay.

He doesn't do that for Ashley.

Because Ashley isn't family.

Ashley was someone who got too close, so he pushed her away. Just like he did to Claire in her RE3 epilogue and again at the end of ID. And he's trying to do the same thing to Chris, but Chris is somehow more stubborn than Leon is, even, so it's not working.

Men and women can be just friends. It's not one or the other -- romance or family. Sometimes? They're just friends. And canonically? That's what Leon and Ashley are. They're friends. Until he pushes her away, just like he did all his other friends (except Chris who's more immovable than the boulder he punched into a volcano). And she won't be the last person he does it to, either. It's just how he is.

#resident evil 4 #leon kennedy #ashley graham #meta analysis #sibling code deez nuts you joyless fucks

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stevethehairington · 6 months

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i blame you for making me think about tommy and carol bc i've never really given them much thought before. they were clearly written to be these obnoxious high school stereotypes and not much more than that, so i love how you're looking through that and making them more dimensional. what do you think they'll grow up to be like? are they gonna leave hawkins after high school, will they stay there forever, will one of them leave while the other stays? will they grow apart after high school, or will they always keep that toxic codependency going? please gimme all your thoughts <3

ANNA! "i blame you for making me think of tommy and carol" are my FAVORITE words to hear sflkjgfdlkg that's like music to my ears. the more people i can get thinking deeper about tommy and carol the better fdkjgfl.

they fully were written to be those obnoxious high school bully stereotypes, but boy oh boy, there is SO much nuance in how the portrayals of these characters actually came across onscreen.

when i think of tommy and carol and their futures, i honestly can see things going a couple different ways - which mostly stems from the fact that there are a lot of little headcanon details about them i like to change up in my head that then directly impacts which route their futures would take (the biggest fluctuating details being their sexualities; how their future plays out will be fundamentally different to me if it's just tommy that's gay, if it's carol that's the lesbian, if they're both some flavor of fruity, or if neither of them are.)

if i sat here and went through each slightly different future i imagine for them we'd be here forever fkdljgfd sooooo for now i will just tell you about my personal favorite.

first, a little backstory because i think it's important to know where they came from to know why they are the way they are because that ultimately drives where they end up:

i personally like to think that tommy hagan comes from a big family - a big family of all girls, too. he's one of five, the middle child, with two older sisters and two younger sisters. i also like to think that his mom is a single mother - and when it comes to his dad, my hc isn't super nailed down for him. i do think he was there when tommy was younger, but his father left, maybe around when tommy was nine? ten? but either, his dad was cheating on his mom and ended up leaving her (and their kids) to be with this other woman (maybe because SHE got pregnant?) OR tommy's dad hit his mom, and that went on for long enough until she finally stood up and kicked him out. out of those two options though, i like to lean towards the first one, beeeeecaaaause it makes tommy's motivations and behaviors THAT much jucier sdlkfds. BECAUSE combine tommy's middle-child-syndrome with this early abandonment and of COURSE he's got issues. OF COURSE he has to find every way to get attention because he doesn't get enough of it at home and OF COURSE he gets upset and lashes out when people he's close to leave him because he's got abandonment issues (so when steve, his friend, his best friend, suddenly drops him and carol, of course tommy gets upset). also, random tidbit that didn't really fit in anywhere else dkfls but i think i mentioned it in my response on that initial post that started all this but i DO think tommy is an angry guy. BUT i do not think that manifests in the same way as it would for a lot of other guys. he's NOT outwardly angry all the time, he's NOT always looking to pick a fight, he's NOT a physically violent guy. i think his anger stems from very specific circumstances - i.e. circumstances where his control is slipping - and while he doesn't resort to physical violence (aside from maybe a shove here or there, because that's the most we ever see onscreen in a moment when he is genuinely upset and angry), he lashes out. verbally. he says MEAN shit - and because he's friends with carol, his tongue has sharpened over the years (and also, growing up with all sisters means he's well accustomed to the ways of female warfare lol - aka the vicious mind games and cruelty of the tongue that is more common than physical violence). SO that means he knows how to go for the jugular with just his words, and that, sometimes, can be even worse than a punch to the nose.

carol, on the other hand, i like to think also comes from a single mother household, but unlike tommy, she is an only child. i like to think that she and her mom moved to hawkins when she was... maybe 12 or 13, so middle school age. she wasn't super popular at her old school, is the thing. i don't think she was necessarily super bullied or anything, but she didn't really have a lot of friends and she probably didn't get a lot of attention either. so when she comes to hawkins, she sees it as a chance to reinvent herself. she doesn't let herself fall into that new girl trap, and she's outspoken from the get go - perhaps a little to her own detriment, because while she does make friends, they ALSO scares a lot of people off because of how cold she seems (which is ENTIRELY a self-preservation thing for her). and then somehow, someway she catches the attention of steve harrington. steve harrington, who, at this point, is already well on his way to being the golden boy King Steve that we see in high school. and she clings to that, because that's her ticket to the top. i think maybe she gets a little crush on steve at first - except it isn't actually a crush. she just likes what he can offer her - the popularity, the attention, the feeling of being needed, and she misreads that as having a crush on him. (and if you subscribe to the carol is a lesbian hc, which i sometimes do! this "crush" would be FULLY because that's what's expected of her; all the other girls like steve, all the other girls think he's hot and awesome and perfect, so that must mean she should to, right? - but that's a different future route that i'm not taking here so. putting this back on the shelf for now lol).

ANYWAYS. yeah so carol gets folded into steve and tommy's mix. she befriends them, she gets close with them, they become a trio. inseparable.

tommy and steve have been friends since grade school. maybe they were sat next to each other because their last names both start with H, maybe even as a small child steve already has lots of friends because he's nice and he shares his toys and he's got kids coming up to him all the time asking him if he wants to play and he always says yes. but then one day it's steve that's toddling up to tommy and asking him if he wants to play. steve chooses tommy. and the rest is history. and as they grow up, steve starts growing into his looks and he gets good at sports and joins all the teams and he excels, so he's got people fawning over him and flocking towards him for any sliver of attention he's willing to give them. but at the end of the day it's tommy that gets steve's full attention. it's tommy that steve tells everything to, it's tommy that knows steve best, it's tommy who steve trusts, it's tommy who is steve's best friend. and tommy REVELS in that. it's that attention he's been craving his whole life. this, naturally, leads to tommy feeling possessive over steve. and he doesn't realize that this possessiveness is a little more deeply rooted than just wanting to keep steve's friendship until steve starts to look at girls.

the first time tommy sees steve with a pretty girl on his arm, he gets this sick, curdled, twisting feeling in his gut. at first he thinks it's because he's jealous of steve. jealous that he has a date and tommy doesn't. but when steve comes back and tells tommy that it didn't work out, tommy gets this relief that floods through tommy. he doesn't really understand it at first, and definitely doesn't examine it too closely either, just sort of shoves it down deep and doesn't worry about it. but then steve finds another girl, and this time things DO go well, and, naturally, as steve's best friend, tommy becomes the person that steve tells everything to. he tells tommy all about the dates, all about the kisses he shares with these girls, all about when things go a little further... tommy listens, because of course he does, but the whole time he's thinking all these horrible thoughts about the girl and that ugly feeling is back knotting up his insides. and omg when steve tells tommy about losing his virginity - OH BOY. he goes into detail, because that's what teenage boys do, and tommy listens but he's sitting there with this whole STORM of emotions swirling through his head - the twisted need to know more, the urge to scream at steve to shut up, disgust because he doesn't want to think about steve with someone else, turned on because its steve talking about having sex, deep shame because hes forced to face the fact that he's wishing it was him with steve instead of that girl. this, perhaps, is even the first time tommy is like. FULLY faced with the true nature of his feelings, the ones he's been shoving away and ignoring this whole time.

i think tommy struggles with it. being gay (which he refuses to consider himself) is obviously not accepted in that time period. and he knows he'd get absolutely pummeled if anyone caught wind that he'd even thought about another boy like that. whiiiich is where carol comes in.

i think at this point tommy is probably already with carol - when steve started showing his interest in girls, tommy didn't want to get left in the dust, so he tried to find himself a girlfriend too, and it just so happened that carol was right there and it was so easy because carol was just so easy (WOMP). i like to think that maybe they started as a hookup. tommy wanted to lose his virginity, and carol was right there, and well, there were rumors about her, and all tommy had to do was ask, and she said yes, and then it sort of snowballs from there because (even though their first time was probably fumbling and not actually the greatest overall, tommy still liked it, and if he liked sex with a girl there's no way he's gay, right?) then he asks her out and she says yes again, and they start this relationship that maybe didn't really stem from any true feelings at first, but like they sort of caught the feelings along the way, like they learned to love each other along the way.

and the thing is - i do genuinely think that tommy and carol loved each other. i do. i don't think that their relationship wasn't real, even if tommy is actually gay. i think they had a lot of fun together, and i think that the feelings were there. they just weren't enough. because despite things going pretty well with carol, tommy was still thinking about steve. he was still actively having those feelings even while with carol. (which - maybe he was just projecting those feelings onto carol.) regardless, though, there is a love that exists between tommy and carol - i just think that over time it morphs into something different than what they both initially thought it was.

NOW. when it comes to their future (WHICH HELLO THIS IS WHAT YOUR ASK WAS ABOUT AND IM ONLY JUST NOW GETTING TO IT SKFJDS S O R R Y AND THANK YOU FOR STICKING WITH ME THROUGH ALL OF ^^^ THAT PREAMBLE SKDJFL)

since we are talking about my favorite potential future for them, it looks a little something like this:

they stay together. all through high school. when steve leaves them, things get a little rocky between tommy and carol, because steve was the glue that held them together, ultimately. but they both sort of realize that they're all each other has left, now that steve's gone, so they temper things. they marry out of high school - or that's when tommy proposes anyways, because tommy's barely three quarters of the way through his first year of community college when there's a pregnancy scare (which - honestly, everyone's surprised that didn't happen earlier) but yeah, carol's late, and when she pees on the stick it's positive. when she tells tommy, tommy proposes - because that's the right thing to do. he's not going to ditch her, he's not going to make her do that on her own. carol says yes, because what other option does she have here? but when they actually go to the doctor about it, they find out that the test was a false positive; carol is not pregnant. they stay engaged though, carol still wore her ring, and tommy stayed with carol, and neither one of them said anything about it. they followed through with it three years later after tommy graduated with a business degree and a cushy job at carol's dad's company.

at this point, they've known each other for almost a decade, and they've been together for most of it. so they know each other pretty well. which means - carol knows about tommy's... interests. she's fully aware. has been since high school, actually. she clocked tommy's crush on steve reeeeal quick, and actually confronted him about it once - which forced tommy into a corner and when he'd tried to deny it she's just scoffed and told him to quit fucking hiding from it. and he did. he'd admitted it to her, which was still difficult for him, but he'd gotten a bit better about admitting it to himself over the years. and in response to it, carol told him she didn't care.

which was really the best god damn way it could've gone. she told tommy that she didn't care that he gets off to guys, that she didn't care that he thinks about them, that he wants them. in fact, she told tommy that she didn't even care if he wanted to fuck around with them on the side. so long as he came back to her in the end, she didn't care.

and so, most nights tommy will slip off his wedding ring, he'll make the drive to whatever innocuous city is far enough away that he wont run into anyone he knows, and he'll seek out the company of other men. and when he's had his fill for the night, when he's satisfied that itch, he'll drive back to hawkins, and he'll try to be quiet as he enters the house and changes into his pajamas, and then he'll slide into bed next to carol and he'll go to sleep.

it's... it sounds like a pretty miserable existence, the two of them trapped in this seemingly unhappy marriage. but it's actually not. not really. it works for them. like i said before, they do love each other. it's just not that same sort of love that was there when they were kids, when they first started out. it's changed, it's morphed, it's turned into something more familial, rather than romantic.

maybe one day they will finally move out of hawkins. maybe that will be the beginning of the end. maybe once they're out from underneath the thumb of the town they grew up in, out from underneath the pressure of playing the expected role for all the people they knew there, they can start to live their own lives. maybe they'll finally get a divorce. maybe tommy will finally outwardly acknowledge his sexuality. maybe carol will finally find something she's good at and thrive with it. maybe maybe maybe.

FIN. skfjgdlkf. omg if you've made it this far THANK YOU for sticking with me and reading through all my rambling headcanons. i really mean it when i say i think about tommy and carol and their lives ALL THE TIME dkfsdlf. and like i said at the beginning, this is just ONE of the many pathways i've thought of for them sklfjsdf.

anyways, THANK YOU for asking and for indulging me in my love for tommy and carol!!! this was truly so much fun to write up and i loved getting to do that.

[also i GOTTA throw a little shameless self promo here, if you liked what you read here, this headcanon DOES feature heavily in my tommy-running-into-steddie-at-their-high-school-reunion fic, which you can find here. i ALSO have another stommy fic, which you can find here, which details my headcanon for steve's first kiss (which as i'm sure you've guessed, is with tommy).]

#asks #unclewaynemunson #tommy hagan #carol perkins #tommy x carol #stommy #sort of LOL #stranger things #macks headcanons #mack writes #sort of x2 LOL #THANK YOU AGAIN FOR THIS ASK ANNA!!!! I LOVED IT!!!

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narrativelysignificantturtleduck · 7 months

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the challenges of trans headcanons

a while ago i saw a post that said something to the effect of "if you're cis don't headcanon characters as trans if they're not that gender in canon". the argument was that it implies trans people are not the gender they say they are - like, if you headcanon a male character as a trans woman, that means you think of trans women as men who want to be women. headcanoning a male character as a trans man is fine though.

i kinda resent any post telling people what they're allowed to headcanon, but i do get where that post was coming from. not just because i know cis people can be transphobic, but because i have perservered in doing that very thing and found out how complicated it is.

like, first off, there's the pronoun dilemma. everyone in canon and pretty much everyone discussing the show is using the "wrong" pronouns, but also, it's a headcanon, so it's not like they're ACTUALLY wrong. and even though you want to use the "right" pronouns you don't want to confuse people if you're talking about the character outside of the specific headcanon. and what if you write fic about the character at a point before they come out, before they even realize themselves? everyone around them is using those pronouns, and they'll even be thinking of themself that way. is that misgendering? obviously, the character won't care (bc they're not real) but people might look at you funny if you say a character's trans and then use the "wrong" pronouns. you've dug your own grave here.

(i've taken a few different approaches. i tried avoiding pronouns entirely, but it was a challenge. no pronouns and trying not to repeat an already-repetitive name too much? blorbo posting hard mode. recently, i've flipped to using he/him when talking about the character in canon and she/her when discussing the trans headcanon or more fanon things. i think it makes sense to use canon pronouns when analyzing canon but i do worry it looks like misgendering. not sure there's any good answers here.)

secondly, it forces you to reckon with being trans in a very real way. you have to adjust to new pronouns and gender presentation the way the family members of a trans person would, and like a trans person you have to make decisions about those changes. you are forced to grapple with what the coming out process would be like, what steps someone would take to transition. sure, you can discuss those things when headcanoning a male character as transmasc, but you know where he ends up. he's the guy you know in canon. headcanoning someone as a different gender than they are in canon - that's uncharted territory, same as it would be irl.

heck, the very fact that this is difficult, that i don't know what pronouns to use in what situation, feels pretty trans to me.

(not that my struggle headcanoning a minor character from a kids show as trans is anywhere near comparable to people's actual lived experiences. but you get what i mean.)

you know how when you write a character for a while they start to take on a life of their own in your head, and any characterization choices start to feel like things they tell you about themselves instead of just what you decided about them? well i've known about the trans jeong jeong headcanon for a while but that post kinda made me...shove her back into the closet. metaphorically. i was pushing nonbinary jeong jeong for a while, because she was very clearly not cis to me but i feared being Bad and Problematic if i said she was transfem. i could even get away with some transfem stuff under the guise of genderfluidity. some days she's a woman. but also sometimes a man don't worry :)

but now she's out. and i don't know who i was so afraid of offending, and why i've had this weirdly personal journey about it. it's a journey similar to my own coming out as bisexual (going back in the closet for fear of pushback) and i had it over a fictional character's gender, about "coming out" with a headcanon.

i don't really know what conclusion to draw from all of this. i don't know what the right answer to the pronouns question is.

things i know for certain -

jeong jeong is a trans woman. it's a headcanon, but the way i feel about it is as if it's a fact i happen to know. you know how it is with blorbos

i am a cis woman, and that means i need to be careful how i deal with trans characters and headcanons. fictional characters might not care, but real life trans people can see the ways i talk about fictional trans people, so it matters what i do.

it's ridiculous that i denied this headcanon for so long

maybe the conclusion is just that hard-and-fast rules about who's allowed to do things are bad. but it's still worth thinking about the implications of a headcanon and its impact on others.

#nina's personal log #i've been thinking about this for a while #i started writing this post all the way back in january while i was queuing up stuff for jeong jeong's atla daily holiday #idk why but i feel like posting it now #trans jj tag

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descendants-headcanons · 2 years

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Uma Headcanons

- My fabulous queen

- There will be no Uma slander here she is absolutely one of my favourite characters and she was just doing the best she could under the circumstances OK

- Like at least she was consistent with her goals, Mal I love you but you were one hot flighty mess goddamm

- You know what you get when you sign up with Uma. Stability

- Also China Anne McClain was perfect casting for this bc her voice is just chefs kiss

On The Isle

- I really don't think Mal's Shrimpy taunt got to Uma like she thought it did. Uma seems to be over that quite well in the second film (yknow for someone who hasn't read the books). I mean obviously there's some resentment but I think it's less over the taunt itself and more over the blow to her reputation if that makes sense

- That being said, Uma does not take ANYONE'S shit. That much is apparent

- Uma wouldn't rely on her parents name for power like Mal and others did too. Ursula is proven to not give a damn about what Uma does so while it definitely gives her some freedom to do nice things, I can also see it causing some major issues while Uma was still a child.

- Ursula's abuse would probably mostly be neglect. When she could be bothered to get physical with Uma there'd obviously be strangulation and crushing because tentacles but overall I feel like she gets away with a lot more

- I like the idea of the Lost Revenge, while clearly being their ship and where Uma, Harry, Gil and the crew live, being a sort of sanctuary for kids escaping certain death

- Like if you're certain you're going to die or get violated or beaten they'll let you aboard and give you protection and shelter for as long as you need. And I absolutely headcanon that the Core 4 have had to take them up on that offer of protection and shelter at least once apiece. And it kills them to admit it

- Uma's only request for the people she offers sanctuary to is that they help with ship maintenence and use their skills after they go home to offer assistance when needed

- It may not be evil, but she's gained crew members from their sanctuary program and now each of the Core 4 owes her a favour so she's not exactly going to stop

- Uma guarantees her crew a meal a day because a fed crew is a happy crew. She can't guarantee more than that, because Ursula won't let her give away a tonne of free food obviously, but she tries to make sure at least Gil and Harry manage to get two solid meals in a day to keep them strong (and well fed because hungry boys are distracted boys and also she's weak for them)

- MUM FRIEND MUM FRIEND MUM FRIEND

- She is always checking to see if her crew needs something, requires assistance, has seen anyone who could be a good fit for the crew, has blackmail material to assist the crew etc etc

- I also like to headcanon that Uma doesn't pretend to not care about her crew. She may not advertise the fact that she does, but she won't deny it.

- The issue is that, if you openly state that you care for someone on the Isle, it is viewed as a sign of weakness. Uma is a pirate captain, and sea witch. Uma is not weak.

- However, whenever someone new is brought into the crew, she takes them to her quarters. There, she explains that the crew is basically family. You may not like each other, you may fall out with each other, but at the end of the day you stick together. We fight together, we party together, we eat, sleep, breathe together. She explains that they must always portray a united front.

- She has a system where if she makes a decision in the heat of the moment, it is followed no questions asked because she has evaluated the situation and made the best call. However, for general decisions, it is 100% a democracy. The crew will vote. Uma will act accordingly.

- She will never admit it aloud, but she is very thankful that she managed to earn the respect and loyalty of her crew. Not many people on the Isle can say that their gang members are there by choice. Uma is one of them

- Speaking of her crew, I really like to imagine that very few of them are born to major villains

- Everyone would be fighting over them to get those names in a gang because their parents could offer some form of protection or at least a backup plan

- No, I like to believe that Uma took in anyone. Orphans, children of sidekicks, small waifs no one thought would ever be strong enough to hold their own. I like the idea that Uma saw that they had potential, and took them on. Offered her protection, offered a guaranteed meal a day, offered a safe place to sleep - and that the stability helped these underdogs to thrive and become highly sought after members but they stick with Uma because goddammit she showed them how to live when no one else would.

- In my head Uma is basically a humanitarian but she'd never admit it.

- Again the idea of Uma and Harry somehow becoming the default mum and dad figures for the Isle kids just makes me laugh because absolutely no one expects it like it just happens

- Will fight anyone at anytime. She has squared off against Gaston before. And won. She's mental and everyone knows it.

- Asks Harry to teach her sea shanties for one reason and one reason only

- And that reason is so that they can hoist up the gangplank and sing them at absurb hours in the morning to piss off Hook's crew

- Harriet's crew sometimes joins in

- She usually only does it after Harry receives a nasty beating because Uma is nothing if not petty

- "HEAVE UP HAUL AND HEAVE AWAY, WAY HAY ROLL AND GO, THE ANCHORS ON BOARD AND THE CABLES ARE STORED AND WE'RE ROLLICKING, RANDY DANDY-O"

- "SHUT THE HELL UP YOU RAT BASTARD SCUNNERS, WHEN I GET ON THERE I'LL HOOK YOU ALL"

- Slightly off topic but the shanties I imagine them singing are ones like these (all of these I heard from a group called The Longest Johns if you want to check them out): Randy Dandy-O, Santiana, The Drunken Sailor, Lowlands and Leave Her Johnny.

- I actually like to believe that her transformation magic isn't blocked by the barrier because its related to her physical form as opposed to directing it to do something. She just chose to be in human form more often because its more convenient.

Off The Isle

- Uma seems to adjust quite well at first, but don't let her fool you. She is just as confused as Harry and Gil, she's just better at hiding it.

- Luckily she and the others abide by the Pirate Code, so they don't really get in too much trouble. In fact, Uma is quite proud that her crew blends in quite easily from the getgo.

- However she did throw one massive pirate hissy-fit over was very upset with not being allowed to share a room with Harry and Gil because goddammit those are her boys

- It took 3 weeks of Uma, Harry and Gil sleeping in a tree outside before Fairy Godmother gave in and gave them a room to share altogether (with some spells to prevent sexual misconduct)

- After that Uma was fine. In fact, she quickly became a favourite VK for most people because she didn't really stick out all that much

- Also, like Harry, Uma tended to attract small children who wanted to talk and play with her and its really hard to be scared of someone when there's a gaggle of 7 year old following them around

- The first thing she learned to do in Auradon was to heal with water so that if anything happened she could reverse the damage

- The second thing she learned to do, believe it or not, was knit

- Yes it was because of Harry and Mrs Potts meetups

- Uma joined the knitting club that Mrs Potts and all the other old ladies had because goddammit it was kinda fun

- Mal tried to mock her for it and Uma stabbed her with her knitting needles with a sweet smile the entire time

- Mal was then presented with the most godawful purple and green sweater. She wears it every Christmas. Out of spite.

- Uma definitely has a talent for knitting and crocheting. And she definitely doesn't knit hats and gloves and other accessories for Auradon hospital to give to premature babies

- She also definitely doesn't knit anything to put in the Isle of the Lost donation boxes, if you saw her there you were tripping on acid bro

- Also this is very random but I really feel like Uma would have a slight obsession with cinnamon

- And for once its not because Harry seems to really struggle saying that word she genuinely loves the flavour

- Although hearing Harry say simanim everytime makes her straight up cackle

- Speaking of cackles good lord this girl does have one hell of a cackle

- Like if she's laughing softly or giggling it sounds very normal but if something hilarious happens the floodgates just open and good LORD

- Tis a proper cackle

- Also she adopts a cat and calls her Captain because I said so.

- Listen she found her outside the school wet and miserable and homeless OK what else was she supposed to do

- Also, Harry's dog Teddy loves Captain. Captain doesn't mind Teddy but sometimes paps him just because.

- She is always checking up on her crew members, just to make sure they're doing OK in Auradon because it is a difference from their previous life

- Is also basically a walking medication timer for Harry and is constantly leaving her classes to make sure the forgetful dumbass actually takes his medicine

- Teachers hate her because even though she's on top of everything if one of her crew bursts in saying they need her (from things as minor as one of the kids scraped their knee to things as important as Harry forgetting his medication and getting lost in his head) she's out of her seat and heading to help

- Uma has had to explain her actions to Fairy Godmother several times and will refuse to accept that other people can help her crew

- "I am their captain and they are my priority. They have always been my priority, and will always remain my priority. That's not going to change. And if you want that to change then you'll have to expel me."

General Headcanons

- I really feel like Uma would be a fiction lover. Like she loves the Percy Jackson books, and can sometimes be found with a bunch of kids just reading to them. Harry will often join in because he is an amazing storyteller and sometimes she tells him to because if her reputation is taking a blow so shall his

- I also feel like she and Harry end up babysitting together a lot. Like the little kids love them and they're both so good with children that eventually they just become a default. Uma doesn't really mind

- Uma is also definitely a teacher by nature. She can always be found with her crew, teaching Harry how to count, teaching Gil how to read... She picks things up so easily and it genuinely pleases her to see that she's helping the people she's claimed.

- Also Uma is incredibly territorial. Even in Auradon she has no trouble staking her claims on her people, ESPECIALLY her boys. Some of these princesses can get real handsy with a hot lad, and when Harry and Gil are uncomfortable, Uma will step in with a malicious grin that doesn't reach her eyes.

- Uma basically adopts people into her friend group. There is no point where you state 'we're friends now'. If you have no one - you don't. You're crew now. Join the table and make sure you get a balanced meal otherwise Uma is grabbing your food for you in the future. Also you're learning sea shanties whether you like it or not.

#descendants headcanons #uma daughter of ursula #uma descendants #Uma headcanons #harry hook descendants #harry hook #gil descendants #gil son of gaston #sea three #Sea Three descendants #Other descendants characters #tw abuse

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ikram1909 · 8 months

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can i just say we have no idea about any of these peoples friendships with eachother like lol. gavi and pedri could text every second of the day and we would have no idea because we don’t KNOW THEM!!! having so much discourse and fighting over who is friends with who and who is close to who is so so ridiculous because friendships aren’t linear like that anyway. and don’t even get me started on how this is men we’re talking about, the way their friendships work is inherently different than women’s friendships with eachother (which i know it’s mostly women commenting on this so much lol bc they have a largely female fanbase and i am also a woman btw i don’t mean this in a mean way!!). it’s so so obvious that the friendsgip honeymoon they were experiencing has just settled down, they were clearly fast friends and probably got along immediately and so they were very clingy but once you get settled in friendships you don’t feel the need to do that anymore and it’s Very very normal. people will ignore the one million signs that they’re close just to hyperfocus on one comment that people are clearly taking wrong like i’m so over it and i’m over pedri getting so criticized over this when gavi would clearly hate that as well

"people will ignore the one million signs that they're close just to hyperfocus on one comment" this!!!!!! They'll see them play around with each other and speak very highly of each other and ignore all that why? Because Pedri said he doesn't see him as often as before now that he doesn't drive him around anymore 🙄 like I can't believe this little statement is causing all this outcry and people are taking it like he said he hates Gavi or something like please get it together people 😭 sure they aren't seen around each other in training videos as much as before but that doesn't mean they don't interact at all. Also the context between back then and now has changed. Back then Gavi was the new kid and Pedri helped him integrate the team and that's how they got close. Now Gavi is a dressing room "veteran" and is the one helping others settle into the team and is besties with the entire team that's why we see him with someone different every training session. That doesn't mean they're no longer close, they just don't have to be together all the time to maintain that friendship if that makes sense. Also, Pedri willingly answers questions about Gavi all the time on that app when he could just ignore them if he really disliked him. Please let's put this discourse to rest it's stupid and pointless. Because whatever the state their friendship is actually in, we have no power to change it so why worry about things out of our control?

#let's talk about something else I beg

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yandere-monoma · 7 months

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ok i need u to know how deeply and immediately im obsessed with killswitch. i literally just read the first two chapters of kym and i know i have more to go but i NEED to tell you that i love swap aus so much and the fact that youve clearly thought so much abt the nature/nurture aspect of all the kids is SO FUCKING GOOD bc i think abt how theyd change and stay the same in swaps all the time. also "telekineticTactoe" is the most perfect jade lalonde chumhandle ever and im OBSESSED with it. sorry to yell in your inbox but ive been feeling a homestuck backslide for weeks and i think its fully happened now. ive been Got. rose strider you poor poor girl you monster you beautiful bitch. (ALSO: IS ROSE A PRINCE/BARD OF LIGHT bc ro-stri being a prince of light would be just the most crushing thing. my other guess is knight of light bc LORD KNOWS shes got facades up, but prince. . .)

AAAAAAAAAAAA THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOUUUUU!!!! pls never be sorry for inbox yelling is2g when i come home and see messages in my inbox i immediately scream and leap into the air and fly into the sun with happiness i am so so happy thank YOU!!!!!!!

I FEEL YOU THOUGH swap aus are just so addicting i don't think they'll ever let me go now that i've given into their power... it's such a fun way to produce a character study. i love psychology so much it feels like such a treat to get to play with it in this way @_@ and THANK YOU i've never been prouder of a chumhandle i've made than that one hsjkdfgs

ALSO!!!

🚨🚨🚨 DING DING DING 🚨🚨🚨

she is ABSOLUTELY a prince of light YEP!!!!!! congrats on fuckin NAILING it i am soaring over the MOON rn. ironically i'm about to post another kym commentary where i explain the decision between her being a prince vs being a knight so if that's a thing you're interested, stay tuned!!! but yeah :') her classpect kills me she did not stand a CHANCE we love a girl that is doomed in every possible way 💛

#Anonymous #inbox #fic: kill your masters #verse: killswitch #TY AGAIN FOR THIS it rly makes me so emotional seeing ro-stri love... our girl our daughter our wittle pwince....

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deviantartdramahub · 7 months

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Ugh no, I dislike Marian bc she manipulated my friend Tam. She kept blocking then unblocking him, putting them in some kind of sick cat-and-mouse game. She always tried manipulating him away from me and Club, and her behavior was intolerable. Ik you're all for innocents getting manipulated, but I ain't dealing with it, dear.

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Honey what's so hard to understand that what was said was an OBVIOUS TYPO? That's why I paid no mind to it at first, BC I USED MY GODDAMN BRAINS! YOU WERE CLEARLY JUST USING IT AS AN OPPORTUNITY TO FURTHER HARASS CLUB! HE HID THE COMMENT BC YOU WERE FALSELY ACCUSING HIM OVER IT! Club isn't a groomer, and the people saying he is are either ableist trolls like you wanting a "good" excuse to harass someone, or they're misinformed people who were manipulated by said trolls. How many times will we have to explain it, smh. I would never support actual groomers (such as you lmao), but Club ISN"T ONE.

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Uhhh prettyyyy suree Loveless is the one stalking Club, lol. Wouldn't you be as paranoid as he was if you were getting endlessly slandered and harassed like that? Ugh. You do WAY worse to your enemies.

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Uh okay and you're just as bad as Sam. Only you're a whole group of people doing this shit. So in a way ig you're worse LMAO...also what happened wasn't Club or Tam's fault so quit making it up as it is.

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No Tam probably just wanted to defend their friend, why do you assume everything is Club's fault? I swear, one day they'll blame him for the birth of Hitler. And you know what's fucked up? Seeing Tam as nothing but a minion bc of his age. Oh and for the record, you DO lash out and attack them. All the damn time lmao. Do I even have to link the examples???

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Bro stop acting like Club's manipulating me when YOU'RE the ones clearly doing it! And just bc I'm a kid doesn't mean I can't say no! Saying children can't stand up for themselves is just wrong. But the reason I don't is bc I GENUINELY APPRECIATE AND CARE ABOUT CLUB! I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST HIM! And if you did think this was true, why did you harass me later on for "not saying no" then? Tsk tsk tsk. And he supports all minorities. But when he made those cute little pride flag drawings YOU MADE FUN OF HIM FOR IT!

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Sweetheart if you're so sorry for us then stop contributing to our harassers and also quit accusing us of being future pedophiles. Just ew. Be ashamed of yourself now 7-7

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Not all of the hub attacked me, it was probably only Sam. Tri has always been friendly towards me and the whole group shouldn't be blamed for this. Keep in mind this is a place where ANYONE and EVERYONE is allowed to talk! Both good and bad people! Bc unlike you, Tri's actually fair. And unlike this group, YOUR ENTIRE GROUP WANTS TO HARASS ME!

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"why do this? is it cuz he gives you crappily drawn art? Is it cuz he tells you stupid shit like 'happy april hurr de durr’ is it cuz he gives you points and core which is WORTHLESS in the grander scheme of things?" Nah it's bc he's our friend and ya'll just salty you don't have any real ones 7w7

"If you continue to ignore this then sorry we are not going to protect you anymore if you are that brainwashed by that shit stained loser Club." Sweetie please you saying you were EVER protecting me is just gross. Kindly fuck off, if you really want me to be safe <3 (Which btw you don't, you're just disgusting manipulators.)

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Smh I'm his friend, and listening to a friend's problems IS THE LEAST YOU CAN DO FOR THEM! Club was NEVER trying to harm me! I'm completely fine with being there for him! BC HE'S MY FUCKING FRIEND! Is this how you would react to a friend of yours if they asked if they could vent to you? Just pitiful. If you don't have the emotional energy to listen to someone at the moment, politely tell them so like a normal person jfc.

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The only reason why he felt the need to seek validation from his friends is BECAUSE OF YOUR GOD-AWFUL TREATMENT OF HIM! You think you can do all the things you did and expect him to still be in a good mental health-state and have good self-thoughts? You think you can gang up on him and tell him he's a terrible person and expect him to not be insecure, scared, self-conscious, OR ANY OF THAT? You need to grow up and learn that your actions HAVE FUCKING CONSEQUENCES, YOU GODDAMN SELFISH 6-YEAR-OLDS! But then again, you would never in your life care if you ever hurt a person, now would you?

Sighhhhh I think that's enough for now lol -w-

Bye, see you tomorrow evening, and sorry for this big one, hehe.

That’s alright. Some people like them have explaining to do, more than they ever can or will.

Regarding the eighth point, admittedly things have improved a lot ever since that was a problem. I can guarantee these days Sam is a non-issue, he may come around but would have his hands tied by better paradigms when he does.

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stitchthesewords · 1 year

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Wait wait Grian is an African Grey in ruft au?? I must have forgot or didn’t realize because I would have been going insane about this sooner! African greys mean so much to me, my grandparents had one when I was growing up and I love them very much. Grian being one makes me so so very happy <3

Yeee!!!! The only thing. The ONLY thing I had planned from the start was that he was based on an african grey

So hilariously. I am. Terrified of birds. Genuinely so scared of them. [I am also terrified of dinosaurs. I wonder if these things are connected somehow.] And I have, coincidentally, a lot of friends who own or otherwise work with birds. Including a man here who helps take care of my local zoo's bird exhibit hall, of which one area consists of a room about the size of an acre [okay. that might be an exaggeration but it is at LEAST a half acre] full of trees native to the amazon and unsurprisingly, a lot of tropical birds. Yes I know the African Grey is not a bird from south america but I'm going somewhere with this.

So this room - I never wanted to go into it as a kid, I would burst into tears, because like. The birds are just free roaming. They're allowed to go anywhere in the room. They do feeding shows and many of the birds are used to humans so they'll get quite close to you regardless. There is a macaw in this room who is WELL acquainted with humans and likes to land on people's shoulders. He scared the SHIT out of me as a kid bc I mean - macaws are huge birds. And here one was, just sitting on my dad's shoulder.

So years later, I'm in college and well. As I'm sure people have noticed on here, I like to make friends and generally just like talking to people. So I make friends with bird guy and he gets me an after-hours tour of the bird hall - it's just me, him, and a few coworkers, one of whom is the primary caretaker of this giant bird room. And they have taken it upon themselves to help me get over my fear of birds.

It's a feeding time for the birdies so I am tasked with holding some birdseed out - the birds that eat the birdseed are generally the smaller species in the room and I have one or two takers, while most of the birds sort of peck at the ground - and then this Macaw shows up. And he lands on my arms and I get scared and drop all the seed in my hands. But he does not lead. In fact he scoots closer to me, and I nearly burst into tears. Now - they dont try to train the birds or anything to mimic human speech, but parrots who're comfortable w people, im told, 'do as they will', and so this parrot goes 'Sad? Sad?" whilest like, tilting his little head in my face. And I mean that is just simply so startling that I stopped crying and was like "Uhhhh. Yeah. I guess."

This is not a disney story, he didn't like magically know what to do with that or anything and one of his keepers took him from me because I was, you know, clearly in distress. But I think that experience is sort of what got me interested in birds ANYWAY and now I've got a lot of friends with birds and watch a lot of bird videos - and ONE of these friends has an african grey parrot that is genuinely one of the nicest animals, of any species, I have ever met. So I warmed up to her and she is like a beloved niece to me. I love going to like, a pet store and buying her a new toy for her room [Bc. she has. An entire room in my friend's apartment god bless.]

Anyway this story got out of hand but yeah, Grian's an african grey because I think I've got a bit of a bond with parrots in general now and. One little african grey has won my heart. love her.

[For those curious, the Zoo's Macaw is named 'Michael' bc he DELIGHTS in saying his name when people say the word 'macaw'. 'Michael Macaw Michael Macaw!' and my friend's parrot is named Seedie - Like Sadie but. Seed.]

#Asks #em-mermaid #rift au #rift asks

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troglobite · 1 year

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lksjdflkdjf

she legitimately hurt my feelings when she said "that's unusual" and then condescendingly changed her explanation to be so over the top as to be more confusing.

but if i tell her that, she'll probably just get angry and defensive.

idk what's wrong w her.

but it's really fucking hurtful and frustrating that i know Something Is Wrong if i appear to somehow be pissing her off at every turn

even tonight watching tv, i'm just really tired bc i'm on my period (and also i cried for literally my entire therapy session today so i'm not doing great)

and i was fine pausing or rewinding or telling her what ppl were saying--bc there were no captions and it was taskmaster and she's notoriously bad w accents, and sometimes even i can't catch whatever it was they said.

but she didn't understand one task, so i tried to explain

she didn't indicate that she didn't understand

i was confused abt which part she wasn't understanding, bc she wasn't entirely wrong

then she said something abt it again, but it didn't clarify whether she understood or not, just a statement abt the task, so i paused to explain, and she got upset with me.

she cut me off.

and i'm just like.

i'm. trying.

idk what to do.

and i know she's pre-angry abt everything bc she told me to text her when i wake up tomorrow bc she "has a lot of chores to do"

which implies they'll be loud

which implies they'll be difficult

and she hurt her knee last night and felt sick tonight

but she

hasn't told me what the fuck the chores are

hasn't asked me to help with them

she automatically assumed i won't help

but when i offer or ask to help w things, she turns me down

and then when she's angry w me and i'm feeling particularly bad or can't do something, she lashes out at me.

this. isn't constant. it's just recurring.

and i'm. feeling. like, really fucking fragile rn.

so i'm just tired.

i'm just tired of always being a problem. of never being worth anything unless i can do something for other people. and even then sometimes i manage to step in it or be annoying or piss people off.

"it's about them, not you"

that's nice. even if/when it's true, it doesn't change the fact that i'm the one being hurt.

logically i know (bc i've had to learn on my own, i haven't actually been told this) that something is upsetting my mom or stressing her out, and that's why she's annoyed w me or snipping at me.

but that doesn't change the fact that she called her autistic kid unusual for needing something explained in a different way bc i was confused/it was unclear. and that she then deliberately made the instructions more unclear in a condescending fashion, to "prove" that i was being stupid. and then got mad at me when i kept pushing back and saying it's not unusual, all i needed was "face this direction" and i would understand, but "turn" is unclear.

like legitimately i'm doing so badly that i'm just thinking abt it again and i'm literally crying lol

idk what to do with any of that.

i feel like i can't do anything.

and i've felt like i was in trouble in therapy the last few weeks (i'm not, i asked her, bc she's someone i can just ask things like that) bc i'm. Stuck. and it feels like there's nothing or very little i can do, and what is available to me has a lot of really high barriers.

and i was doing my "shooting everything down" thing at her and i felt bad. and it was wild to hear her say "i understand why you are, bc those are high barriers and things are difficult"

and i'm still scared she's mad at me, even though she calmly told me she wasn't and just wants to help me not suffer as much, bc clearly i am. and then she asked me what i wanted, bc that's what she said she wanted for me.

even if she is actually frustrated or annoyed w me--bc legitimately, who wouldn't be? everyone i've ever met has become annoyed w me at some point, usually v quickly--she at least had enough professionalism and compassion to disguise it w legitimate things that were still probably mostly true.

as my mom has said my whole life, i just shoot things down and i never change or take any advice.

i'm just unusual and stubborn and selfish and annoying, of course.

meanwhile i don't think i've ever had a conversation w someone where i felt genuinely like myself.

and when i've almost tried, it's never ended well.

i'm just self-conscious bc like. she asks me a question in therapy and i just. ramble. i'm just. thinking out loud.

bc i just legitimately don't have any other space to do that thinking.

and when i'm doing it on here i'm already fucking spiraling. so idk how helpful it really is.

idk i'm just. feeling really fucking bad abt myself. and i don't have anything happening or coming up that's gonna help w that.

ashl/y g/vin's comedy special is on sunday. i hope it's as good as i think it'll be bc i really wanna laugh. (i censored her name so nobody searching for her on tumblr finds this fucking post)

i hate feeling useless bc being useful is all anybody ever likes abt me. and sometimes being funny.

like i know i'm on my period, my back/ribs still aren't better, my acid reflux tried to kill me two days ago, and my finch app is fucking broken and support hasn't gotten back to me and i haven't been able to use the app for three fucking days now--so i'm feeling More.

but i still just. feel this way.

and she hurt my feelings. she said something that hurt me. and she did it in such a casual way and nothing was really Wrong in that moment so it came out of nowhere and idk what to make of it and i'm tired of having to process this shit on my own while she doesn't process anything. i'm tired of having this resentment.

i'm tired of finding out how tight she is on money and knowing that that'll continue to be an excuse for us not seeing a counselor together.

i'm terrified that we won't move bc she doesn't want to

i'm upset bc she said last night something that meant she assumed i wouldn't help her w any aspects of the move

i'm upset bc i historically HATE moving and really struggle w it, so she might be right that my ability to help might be low

and i'm upset that she just. says things like that. to me. and then would get upset if i took offense or was also upset.

i'm upset bc she always insists she doesn't resent me or think these things abt me and then. she so clearly does. through her actions or things she says when she's mad.

i'm just fucking tired. i'm tired of not mattering. i'm tired of fighting to not get covid, to go to therapy, to try and keep myself busy, to try and rest and take it easy, and it all just being Bad or Useless. and that being my fault.

i'm tired of saying this shit on a post bc if i say it to someone, i'm throwing a huge load of this shit on them to deal with, taking up their time, and then they have to try and navigate a conversation w me, and there's a risk they say something that makes me feel worse or something.

i'm tired of just abt fucking everything.

and i'm really tired bc. i cannot leave this country. i can't escape. there is no hope for that. i have to fucking believe that being in the state i am will keep be relatively safe long enough to weather fascism, bc i can't immigrate. i can't be a refugee. and i can't work in any field legit enough to get me a visa. i can't go back to school. i can't do anything.

i'm literally stuck here no matter what.

and i just want to try and enjoy myself but every relationship feels like a minefield.

all of my anxieties and fears are just a burden on everyone around me.

i'm just a burden. and not one ppl enjoy or don't mind taking on.

and when i try to enjoy things, there's always someone within arms reach to make me feel bad abt the thing i enjoy, or not engage in the thing w me and like Aggressively Not Care abt it.

and sometimes ppl aren't just making me feel bad abt what i like bc they're mean, they're making me feel bad bc socially and politically it's Bad, even though it's just sort of. middle of the road. i get lumped in w ppl that they hate and get labeled annoying for liking the things i like.

there is, quite literally, nothing that i don't feel shame or embarrassment abt rn. or even just loneliness.

and if i try to enjoy these things w other ppl who DO enjoy them, i feel......less than. like i don't know enough. or i'm not good enough. or i have the wrong opinions. or i'm enthusiastic abt the wrong parts.

i'm just gonna fucking play animal crossing and try to metaphorically bash my face against a wall until i stop experiencing life as a real person.

asking me to try and find joy or things i can control is a one-way ticket to me spiraling out of fucking control.

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cmyknoise · 1 year

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i popped into the stream briefly, like the last several minutes. it was an extreme amount of curiosity and i wanted to know if they'd written dream out or what was the plan. and i guess i found out.

i vaguely know the plan, what they're doing. i dont think i'll watch anymore- especially not tomorrow bc that one will have dream in it. i might see the very finale or watch clips of it, but that is a very very loose maybe.

god it just. the plan is "tubbo let's kill dream again!"

as if that hasn't been said like. 20 times before. as if they've not tried that over and over. and every time they fail, even if they have back up, or the best of the best armor, or fight side by side, they always fail.

they are less prepared now to do it than every time before, and their "advantage" is invisibility potions and "getting the drop" on him.

they've done that before. they are going into an enclosed space with dream, with maybe netherite armor, and the only plan being 'kill him'

they've done this before. and there's no difference now compared to the last 20 times they've done this. other than a plot-armor excuse they'll fail.

again.

and it feels hopeless and in vain. and you can hear it in their voices- and i'll say it tommy kills it with his voice acting he always does, but they're tired and defeated already.

since wilbur left tommy's become a hermit in a tiny ass hole drinking potions and frantically coming up with plans, terrified of leaving the room because of dream.

wilbur leaving hit him super fucking hard.

i dont even know why tubbo is helping because like. ctubbo for the last several times we've seen him was immensely disinterested in things and people and even his friends so i dunno why there was a switch up again but there is, but yay clingyduo i guess?

but they're in it together and helping. pinky promised each other. tubbo didnt mention michael or having a family or even ranboo at the prospect of "we'll destroy revival" so we know that's all dead in the water. nukes dont matter, quackity is gone. and they kept emphasizing that they're adults now and they're not kids anymore.

phil showed up, said some bs about missing wilbur and utah being lovely this time of year and heard tommy is saying goodbye and is doing something dangerous and just said "here" and gave him a chestplate and god apple, i guess they're all "good" now.

tommy sat at the blue resurrection shrine and just started talking, hoping wilbur would hear, like when he'd ask prime for things. he kept asking him if he was doing the right thing or if it'd even matter and like.

clearly wilbur gone is hitting ctommy hard and stuff but like.

i dunno. i feel like its the same kids who grew up together suffering trying one last time and i know for like. plot armor reasons they'll probably win, because good endings or something, even though from everything we've seen there's literally no hope they do.

and it's just. hopeless and in vain and it really really sucks to have been in this fandom since it's beginning only for it to end like this. i honestly would've rathered there just not been an ending tbh.

im glad they're ending though. i hope they do something after something fun. it doesnt sound like they have much fun with it anymore. it feels more like a job they have to put off than something they do for fun. like they dont sound like they enjoy it like when they play other things or do vlogs or whatever. i don't know man.

it sucks, it really sucks to have spent so long enjoying something and to still want to enjoy it only for some fuck face to have ruined it and for it to go down so damn poorly thereafter.

it's whatever. i'm going back to bursona posting and doing other stuff.

#dsmp neg #<- in case #discourse

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that-thing-that-feeling · 2 years

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i think the way the audience (not just the shippers) is still very much divided over whats going to happen with jancy/stancy means it's been written to be open ended rather than a definite jancy endgame and the love triangle will return in one form or another.

Atm jancy obv care very deeply for each other which is realistic because feelings don't just suddenly disappear but you can clearly see they both have issues when fixing the cabin. Jonathan is lying about college and obviously still has some trust issues based around his reaction when Nancy mentioned Steve and asking if they were still ok. Nancy is less easy to read because we never get to see how she feels. The nearest we got was Steve's heart to heart speech but of course they went with the common trope of the other person being interrupted before they could say how they felt leaving it open for interpretation and for them to go either way in S5. I think if they wanted closure between them then they would have had Nancy say that's not what she wanted. I think it's a certainty these issues will cause them problems in S5.

I think it could be shown that the love triangle is only there in S5 because Jonathan is still insecure about her relationship with Steve, him realising these are his trust issues to overcome and Steve never really being a threat to their relationship because Nancy is committed to him. Then they could deal with their other issues. But it also feels like they could have used S4 to show stancy still having feelings for each other and they'll use jancys issues to say they've grown apart in s5 and have a stancy endgame. Its all just very unclear right now and I think that's been done on purpose so that they have the freedom to change things.

Well she did say 6 kids would be a nightmare lol but right tbh I agree: it’s not clear to me the writers were trying to give the love triangle full closure. It’s also weird bc Jonathan has never really seen Steve as a threat to their relationship; they threw that in their kinda weirdly for love triangle reasons. I think it all still was left a bit open.

#stranger things 4 spoilers #jancy

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rogersstevie · 6 days

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god days like today

like. i think it's hard enough being at a friend's events when i feel like i'm not in their life enough compared to the people around me which sure to an extent that's just adulthood but i feel guilty bc i don't have an excuse other than mental illness bc like i am not too busy to keep in touch with people, i'm just BAD at it

and then like, the wedding was good bc i had my other friend there with me but the baby shower last year and the baby's birthday party today i did not and it's like awkward small talk with people i don't know or only interacted with a little at those other events like i cannot rely on my friend who is the hostess or her mom or anyone bc they have to talk to everyone so like when there's no friends there it sucks omg another reason to wish for a partner like that would be someone to bring along to any event and never suffer the awkwardness like at least it's one of those things where a lot of others are clearly feeling the same but i can't bridge that gap either

and the only other person who showed up later that i knew was my high school german teacher who i always liked and he's a taylor fan so once we got talking about how he's seeing her on tour and the album it was like so much better (though omg was he a fan when i was in high school bc WHY did we not talk about it then when i literally had no one to bond with lol some people came around to 1989 and all but literally never had friends who loved her like me anyway) BUT ya know like he asked if everything was the same since we last saw each other at the wedding, which i said yes, and quickly asked how things were at the school and like later he asked if i was taking any fun trips which it's like no i wish though like i had fun girls trips with my mom and sister but that'll probably never happen again now that my sister is married with a kid and i had a couple fun road trips with friends in college but that'll probably never happen again bc who has the time/money so like the majority of what i've ever had are family vacations which were decidedly NOT fun with my dad and his moods but like idk i COULD like trips with the right person/people and i wish i were willing/felt i had enough money to do something on my own i guess even visiting my sister across the state for a weekend this summer or something might be good. i think they asked before the wedding and it just didn't happen and it'd be fun to spend time with my niece and all but idk it still would be preferable to do something alone bc i need ME TIME i need no one i know around me at all whether i like them or not

anyway so it's embarrassing to be like yes i am still living my nepo baby life like at least with friends they'll just ask how's work or whatever bc i think it's obvious i don't wanna talk about this stuff but at the same time more and more over the years as i've become increasingly desperate it's like can someone please ask, can someone offer a kind word, can someone give me a fucking idea what the hell to do to get out of here but ya know. it's all on me i guess but i can't figure any of it out on my own so it's just. embarrassing especially being almost 30 now like skjdkjfs i can't stand talking about my life to anyone strangers or friends because i have nothing worthwhile to show for it

at least it was a short party and all and it IS lovely to see my friend being a mom and a wife and everything but just for me it's like such a long time to stand around awkwardly but i can't constantly look at my phone bc that feels rude and then except for a couple conversations that were more comfortable it's like hellish talking about myself and i'd prefer the standing around awkwardly to that anyway. wish someone would help me escape the horror that is my life

#personal

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thedogslegart · 2 years

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Goodmorning USA. Eri how she acts w the mercs HCs..

Scout

OMG OMG they fight like children but make up real nicey :) the last man Erika met that was that disrepectful to her died a kraghly death. It was Scout but he respawed. They have alot of over lapping interests, so get along well. They're even both the youngest child in their family. They share music with each other and are both full of engery. Scout teachers her sports, Erika teaches him gymnastics/parkor.

BF n GF but like in a theyre my best friend so theyre the only one I can trust not to let anyone know Ive had sex while at this no sex job where Im really horney way....ya'know? Its nothing serious but once they get to know each other, Eri loves to let lose around Scout bc of how childish he is. Eri grew up fast and under alot of pressure, she never really got to play with kids her age or play much at all. Scout lets her take that time back to an extent.

Also HC that Scout speaks French, ano alot of ppl say this but I dont think hes fluent no way so some times when aloneor evern wanting a private conversation when non french speakers are in the room they'll switch over. They can even switch without noticing. If French is getting to frustrating for Jer or English too frustrating for Eri, theyll switch here, too.

Solider

Erika understands and respects this man. He has alot of drive and alot of confidence and is possibly the most determined person shes ever met, of corse theres flaws to these traits but there things Eri personally admires. Eri also appreciates that Sol respects her as a fighter outside of being a woman and that her stature (cos shes short lol) and sex have no bearing on how much respect Sol will give her. He may think that dodging out the way as appise to brute force is a weak way to do things, but its not weak beacuse a woman is doing it.

One thing that is upsetting though is the nationalism. Erika is Polish, and proudly so. Its a big part of her life. Having to make up bullshit to not have Solly throw a tantrum can be frustrating but she just uses sarcasm that flies over his head and moves on with whatever comversation.

Pyro

Unfortunatly Pyro and Eri arent as close as some others :( this goes for Engie too but well get to that lol. But she very much enjoys their company when reading a magazine or listening to music, Pyro's precence in a room is welcomed! Even in her very private bedroom, after a time Pyro is free to spend time drawing and using Eri's record player so long as they knock first :)

Demo

OMG THEY WOULD GET ALONG SO WELL. I don't see them as spending loads and loads of time together like She does with Scout, though. But Erika and Demo tend to match each others energy quite easily, they both can be upbeat or mellow when they want/need so this makes them a good team in a match for a couple joint capers but also spend time discussing weapons, explosives, folklore, food from their countires, playing card games even.

The barrier that stopped them from becomming closer friends was language :( when Erika joined Mann Co. she was only a novice at English and struggled to understand Demo's accent clearly. He kindly tried to clear up his accent but it was still tricky for Eri. Her broken English at the time also made conversation with her a bit of guess work at first. After the time this was worked out but it was frustraiting for both parties (in diffrent ways) at first

Heavy

Helped her alot with her English (along with Spy BUT WE WILL GET THERE.) They have diffrent nativ languages, obviously but could just about understand each other -

(SIDE NOTE: This HC was based of my highschool friends, one Polish and one Latvian (Who could speak Russian) when they wanted a private convo in class the Latvian would speak Russian and the Pole Polish. Now. They said for the most part they could understand each other with a few words needing to sometiems be clarified in English, but I feel like Eri and Heavy would do this time to time is the point.)

Anyway, being able to speak in the mother tounge must be nuce for both of them. Erika personally hadn't been back to Polabd for about 8-ish years before Mann Co. so even a slight taste of home was a comfort. I'm sure Heavy may have seen it somewhat similarly. They also use each other with English, filling in words if they can.

Books are important for both of them. While Erika is not an avid reader (being more into magazines) she appreciates a good nlvel every now and again and appreciates suggestions from Heavy, after all he has that degree lol. She can only really read in French and Polish, though, as reading complicated English in long blocks gets frustrating for her.

I know Polish and Russian culture arent too similar but the gap in smaller when your father away from home I suppose. I dont mean to say the two are so similar, but they both could find some things to relate over. (shared hatred of the government, probably)

Engie

Eri sometimes watches Engie work. Listens to the country station for a while then leaves. This of corse is only if she's so board shes wondering and that doesn't happen often. Theres No bad blood between these two, of corse, they just dont get to chattin much. I dont see them having that many over lapping interests, except maybe a movie or two, but all in all. Very positive to eavh other, will gladly do a favour but not too close.

Medic

Was not a fan of this man at all at first. Not at all. He was German and old and she did not want a man "like that" to be trusted with her health. She gave in, eventually, after getting such a high death count compared to her co workers. They talked durring her initial check up (which came late) and she found out her suspicious where all wrong. She felt terrible and she does still feel guilt a long while after. She sees that Medic is a good man, while a little crazy. But of corse knows hes in his element in this place.

Medic also did Erika a huge favour but removing some unwanted organs that had been causing her trouble for years so she owes alot to him. Yes some of these exsperiments are weird but theyre kinda cool acutally!

(SIDE NOTE: The fact Medic takes all of the teams souls - and presumably Erika's - kinda saves her shit later on. In the post Mann Co.-Pre comics era she was put in some sticky situations that she should not have returned from. She owes him her life several times over)

I think Medic is glad to have one more soul under his belt lol no but I think Eri would bring him his coffee every morning and he doesnt quite know why but its very nice of her :)

Sniper

Ew omg idk how good ill be at this for tyling it its one of those where i have to talk it and say alot of ummms and arrrs...So maybe...Maybe later when Im more awake..The jist is theyre. Compatable. I think its funny that shes abouts 2 years older than him.

Spy

Hm. Well, before Mann Co. Eri lived in France for a time and speaks French pretty fluently, maybe a few mistakes here and there. Anything Heavy couldnt fill in through Russian, Spy could through French. Of corse Erika couldnt keep this too professional for that long because the moment she realised how annoyed Spy would get at her slip upps she would torment him with pronunciation errors. Spy learns small amounts of Polish in order to mis prounounce it. Erika stopped soon after.

They have amicable discussions in French, mostly about card games but mostly they bond over the morning paper.

This is more so a thing post Mann Co. . Post comics, really. I'd imagine she goes to live with Scout at least for a time and thats a whole other complicated story but basics is Scout lives with his Ma and Spy also lives witb Scout's Ma. Being the early birds of the house they share a coffee first thing then challenge each other to the puzzles in the paper. Specifically the cross words. They where once more difficult for Eri than Spy but she fell in love with a bumper book of cross words she found in the base once amd it reallt helped her vocabulary (it was Spy, hes a sneaky teacher lol)

Even post work, they srill can relate and talk nicely or teast, they do get along well, honestly. I will be honest, they do see each other in a father daughter light after a certain amount of time. Not in any way they would want to think about at any point in Mann Co. but after? This is a domestic life and to Erika that man is the husband of the mother of her sort of boyfriend which in a way is a father in law, right?

Years on from that even Erika is the one to visit Spy in the care home. You know after 1980-whatever when Scout dies lol..

Anyway I care TF2 LOL this post if deffo more smt Id need to rant verbally about but Im glad Ive got it down finally after all these years....pretty much all of these can be exspanded too so...lol.

#me op #oc: erika lodz #tf2 oc

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