Drew this Mahleelee on stream for @niklenakle using KidPix4
Check the babygirl aesthetic version below CW: Eyeballs & bug
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RANT ABOUT BALDWIN THE IV IN KOH BECAUSE THAT MAN IS SOOO PATHETIC (lovingly) AND AHHHH
Note: I am not a native English speaker, but I AM in love with Baldwin the IV's character. Still, sorry for any grammar errors and similar things !!
That one specific scene in KoH, when Baldwin is all alone, laying on his deathbed, arms folded over his chest as he patiently awaits his last breath. When Tiberius speaks with Sibylla, per the King's request- telling her to, essentially, say her last goodbyes to her dying brother. How if Tiberius hadn't spoken to her, her brother hadn't asked to see her specifically, she probably would have never gone to Baldwin's death-chamber. Never even trying to make peace with her brother. We, as the viewers, understand that it's because it pains her to see Baldwin in so much pain. She loves her brother. She knows better than anyone else what her brother has lost due to his illness. She is his older sister, yet she has to watch him die before her, still a young man (historically, Baldwin the IVth was only 24 at the time of his death). She herself admits that to Tiberius ("I can't bear to look at him. (...). That doesn't mean I don't love him.") moments later. But we can't say for sure that Baldwin knows that. Sure, he might, and probably does suspect that his sister feels sorry for him, for the great pain he is in. But he doesn't have to necessarily know that she still loves him dearly.
I find it especially heartbreaking, because in the very next scene, with both siblings now present in the room, it is BALDWIN, NOT Sibylla, who apologizes. His words, "I'm sorry if I've caused you any pain", my emphasis on the word "if". We don't know what he is referring to specifically, but with the given context, it is safe to assume that he simply means all the pain that came with seeing him wash away before his sister's very own eyes; become a man in a decaying body. It isn't usual for dying people to try and make amends with their loved ones, but the way in which Baldwin does it, is just... so depressing to watch. He loves his sister so, so much- I can't help but imagine that he most likely longs for the close sibling relationship that he could have had with her, if it wasn't for his illness :((
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USERDRAMAS EVENT 05: WOMEN
Who do you think will end up living with me forever? It's me. Myself. So you need to take good care of yourself and fix yourself whenever something breaks. I really want to get along with myself. I don't want to love myself too much, but I don't want to be too hard on myself either. I think it's important to work hard on keeping a good balance.
↳ Shin Se-kyung as Oh Mi-joo in RUN ON (2021)
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