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upagainstthesunset · 5 months

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Okay alright okay alright. SO.

Batman/Superman World's Finest #22

I haven't been reading this, so not going to comment on the story so far, but I MOST CERTAINLY am going to comment on the Metron parts of this particular issue. Putting it below a read more for spoilers. Anyway, view it if you want screenshots, lots of me yelling in caps, and uh my steaming hot takes. It might be a long one, guys.

[ID: Comic panel of Gog sitting on a large green throne in the air with David Sikela as Thunderman standing with him. /END]

OKAY so first fucking page and we're already getting into shenanigans.

I will admit I haven't read Kingdom Come and it would be valuable reference material at this point what with Gog and Boy Thunder Thunderman. I also am to understand that Bats and Supes are in a world that isn't yet aware of the multiverse so they're getting a lot of pushback, and that they come from like a while back relative to current canon. HOWEVER you can't just have Gog showing up in the goddamn MOBIUS CHAIR with the freaking WORLOGOG floating above it. (Worlo...gog..... Oh wait is that why he's called Gog?)

Anyway, how did he get it? Why doesn't Metron have it? What about the rest of the canon of the chair? Like, I know the history of the New Gods in general has gotten real screwy over the years, but I am so confused where this is meant to fit in. I think I'm going to have to read more to figure it out. They've got some explaining to do.

So there's more fighting and good guy Superman breaks magical chains (wut?) but the two let themselves get caught and thrown in the clinker anyway. Meanwhile, Supes is going on about the throne, the throne, it's so familiar.

[ID: Cropped panel of Earth 22's Batman escorting our Superman to jail. Superman says, "Looks like the heroes of this world have been working overtime to clear the board of opposition. Gog's throne... did it look familiar to you? I could swear I've seen it before." Batman says, "Stop talking". /End]

OH WHAT YOU THINK CLARK? YOU COULD'VE SWORN YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE?

Alright. I'm calming down about this one. When I first read it I had tons of beef with this line, especially bc this isn't the first time one of the trinity is acting like they don't know Metron. HOWEVER given the timeline I think the only time this Superman would've met Metron would've been during Justice League of America #183-185 and they didn't necessarily interact. So okay. He remembers the chair but vaguely. Fair enough. But you're on watch, Superman.

So they get thrown in a cell and there's a feeble, weak man curled up in the corner surrounded by blood splatters. Who could it be?????

It's Metron!

but uhh... he don't look so good.

[ID: Two comic panels. In the first Batman leans in to view Metron, sitting on the dirty floor in the corner with his knees drawn up and cowering. Metron says, "Tell me... tell me anything. It's been... so long since I've heard... since I've learned... feed me. Please... feed me."

In the next panel, he continues, "I'm so... so very hungry..." To which Batman crouches down and responds, "I'm sorry. We have nothing to--" Superman cuts him off to explain. "He's not hungry for food, Bruce. He's starving for knowledge. It's his sustenance. I recognize this man." /END]

SAY WHAT? HE'S.. FUCKING STARVING... FOR

STARVING FOR KNOWLEDGE?

this is literally the first time I've ever heard this as a Thing about Metron. Mark Waid, you are making up some wacky as hell type of shit here and I can't tell if I hate it or love it.

On one hand, HE DOES NOT WORK LIKE THAT. But on the other hand, idk it's kind of interesting. Makes his desire for knowledge more of a true need than an obsession. But personally I like the obsession aspect because when there are consequences he can't just say "oh well it's just my nature lolz!"

But yeah, him asking to be fed is me every day that there is zero Metron fan content on this god forsaken website. FEED ME.

[ID: Close up on Metron, head cowered and face anguished. From off screen Superman says, "Gog's throne belongs to him. It's his Mobiue Chair. This is Metron of the New Gods." /END]

Yes, yes he is Metron. Of the New Gods. And I get it, Gog is one of the old gods. But like, the New Gods were meant to be better! Smarter! Kinder! Brighter! And I find it I N C R E D I B L Y hard to believe that even an old god would get the drop on Metron and steal his chair. BUT it wouldn't be an interesting story in that case, would it? And other stories have had his chair stolen away, so it's not unprecedented like how him being hungry for knowledge is a new concept.

One of the things that's funny about Metron is that often he is introduced like this because fucking no one knows who this asshat is. Like fans I mean. Some do, but many don't. Especially these days. So I can see why writers are always like "Introducing: Metron! A New God! He's smart! He has a chair!". Gotta let readers know who he is and what's his deal. It means that there are a lot of panels that feature him showing up, so that's fun. Maybe I'll put together a compilation of those some day.

Another thing that's funny about Metron is that he is 100% used as a plot device. You got Batman and Superman as characters because we know and love them. You've got Gog and I guess future Magog as antagonists because they're compelling and have desires that conflict with our heroes. But why Metron? Because he can make things happen and tie things together multiversally. BUT even more than that!! Because THE MOBIUS CHAIR can be taken from him and used by others to further the plot. I've said it before and I am now saying it again. The Mobius Chair might just go on to be a more important character in this story than Metron. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But back to the story.

[ID: Metron still sits on the floor with Batman crouched to him and Superman standing nearby. Metron says, "Years... I have been held here... for years..." And Superman explains, "Metron is from a world called New Genesis. Sister world to Darkseid's Apokolips. Is Gog also from--?" Metron cuts him of saying, "No. And that, in a grave sense, is the peril before us." /END]

Alright so now they're going to exposition at us hard. And wouldn't you know, this is all leading to Darkseid (probably). Hey at least it's not another Amanda Waller plot amirite amirite?

So yeah I'm not going to screencap all of it bc it goes on for a while, but Metron explains that Gog is from Urgrund, the home of Then-Gods (well that term's news to me) of the Third World. You know, I always feel weird when writers try to canonize the term "fourth world" but whatever, it happens. And it looks like story time with Metron is explaining the origins of New Genesis and Apokolips. It's a far cry from the opening epilogue in New Gods #1 smh.

Wait hold on. Metron and Gog "became friends"? FRIENDS? Like buddies? Pals? Homies? Amigos? (pizza, nintendo woo woo woo lets go?) So our little Metron actually made a friend? Waid, you are going places I don't know if I can follow.

[ID: Two comic panels. The first is a close up of Metron in profile. He says, "He was genuinely a force for good. But then... but then--" His narration continues in the next panel, "One day, I shared with Gog the secret of the multiverse as well as those realms that lie beyond it-- among them, New Genesis and Apokolips." The panel shows the two looking at a map of the DC multiverse. Gog is many times larger than Metron. /END]

God, the fucking map.

And um so Gog is looking reeeaaaaal Thanos-y here. Which is hilarious in its own right since Thanos was mostly based on Metron, and also partially on Darkseid. Plus, you can't ignore that involving the old gods means the meta of relating to Jack Kirby's work on Thor. So idk those are interesting little tidbits.

[ID: Panel of Gog looking at the Mobius chair floating in front of him. Narration says, "Soon after the boy David arrived on this world, Gog implored me for a favor too dangerous to grant. He pleaded for the use of my cosmic vehicle, the Mobius Chair. I denied him." /END]

Alright so anyway, David shows up and Gog is like "Omigod David!!! Hi!!!!" and then he turns around and is like "Yo Metron, um, I have a new bestie now so like.. can I borrow the car?" To which Metron rightly says Fuck No.

LMFAO SO HE GETS PUNCHED OUT OF IT

[ID: Gog's giant fist surrounded by electricity having punched Metron, who falls away sideways with back to the viewer. There is blood exploding from the side of his head. Narration says, "He took it nonetheless." /END]

🤣

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

Looks like I have to update my fucking Metron Gets Yeeted post. Hilarious. Are we supposed to feel sympathetic? I guess so? Fans who don't know Metron are going to go wow wtf they were friends he didn't deserve that. Meanwhile, fans who DO know Metron are going YES FINALLY.

I'm laughing though. It's like Metron and Gog used to hang out and watch prehistoric man and they were both so into. But then Gog changed fandoms and hates Metron now. 😂

Alright anyway, so next this Earth's Batman and Superman show up and have heard Metron's woeful tale of betrayal. They're ready to help. And Metron knows what Gog is planning.

[ID: Profile closeup of Metron still sitting with legs pulled to his chest. He says, "That much, I know. Gog plans to couple David's unique ability to traverse dimensions with the power of my Mobius Chair... allowing him not only to push through the cosmic wall surrounding the multiverse... but to lead an army behind him... beyond the Speed Force wall, beyond the Bleed..." /END]

Alright. Time to pause and address the elephant in the room. I held my tongue long enough, but I can no longer.

Dan Mora's art is fantastic, and he's a fan favorite for good reason. So to draw Metron LIKE THIS was 1000% intentional and I just.. WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE THAT??? 😭 It is so god damn cursed. But to be fair, let's run through it, shall we?

Bad: No M-shaped cut out on the forehead. That's offense number one, and not one I take lightly. BUT after inspecting ALL APPEARANCES that Metron has had over several decades, I can confidently say it's not unheard of. And actually, you can see an example of how an M could have been reinterpreted as a boxy shape in my post about a Metron trading card.

Good: His ears are covered. Exposed ears through the cowl is a cardinal sin in my book.

Bad: Where are the lines on his head? Where is the orange dot/jewel thing?? Those are really integral to his design since his costume is otherwise kind of just a blue morph suit. Gog has a little jewel thing on HIS forehead, but what, is Metron not cool enough have one??! And btw I am DYING to see what his chest looks like. What kind of fuckery do you think they did with the design? Where do you think it'd land in this thing?

Good: His eyes are blue. Thank you. They're not glowing white and his irises are not fucking squares. I really hope we are DONE with that era.

Bad: wHY does he look like how people draw stereotypical witches? Can anyone explain this? Mr Mora, is Metron a HAG to you? Is that how you see him? Is he to live in a bog? (side note, I am not endorsing witch stereotypes)

Good: Is there anything good left? I guess that he's got some features I like. Deep set eyes, distinct/bony nose, thin lips. And he's older. That all rings true.

But most importantly. The biggest beef I have with this whole thing. The most flagrant disrespect... THE EYEBROWS WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING WHY ARE HIS EYEBROWS JUST -OUT- LIKE THAT? I HATE IT IM DYING IM DECAYING I WANT IT TO STOP BAD BAD BAD

Ahem.

And then we close on Metron dropping a bomb that Gog doesn't want anyone to survive war on Apokolips.

[ID: Close up of Metron looking stern, half his face in shadow. He says, "That's just it. Gog isn't planning on victory, he doesn't want to win. The Ascension is his name for a battle in which there will be no survivors." /END]

Okay, we're through it. We did it. I need to gather my thoughts somehow.

I'm interested to see where this goes, and it does make me want to go back and actually read Kingdom Come (I have been told to many times, but my reading is so slow I just haven't gotten to it). Or at least go back and read through this current title to catch up.

They dipped into New Gods lore in a few key ways, and yes they're on Earth 22 but all the Fourth World shit sits outside of the different Earths. So like, is Orion going to show up? Are you going to have the old gods, the origin of New Genesis and Apokolips, fucking Metron, and then NOT have Orion? That'd be a pretty weird move. But then again, his involvement might pull the story away from Batman and Superman too much.

Either way, I would expect we'd see Metron again at least once more. If I'm lucky, the Bats/Bats/Supes/Supes team will free Metron and take him with them since he's the Mobius Chair expert and all. And if I'm REALLY lucky, at some point he'll get his ugly af chair back and as soon as butt touches polymer he'll get all godly and badass or something. And he'll regain all his hubris and snark. And then maybe he'll get vengeance on Gog or something idk. He could really be a key player once he's back to his usual self and not in the fetal position on the floor. Look, I remember how maniacal with vengeance he was when Braniac got captured. He could 100% do the same here. I mean, Waid wouldn't end this whole thing without giving Metron his chair back ...right?

Um anyway, I think... I think I'm done. I might make a few shitposts about this in a minute here, but this is the end of my full blown rant. And this is ON TOP OF the 15 minute high speed lecture I already gave my partner about all of this. So anyway, thanks for coming to my TED talk.

#metron #new gods #fourth world #batman superman worlds finest #metronmeta #metron if i fits i sits

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